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taggedmemes · 3 months

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SENTENCE MEME TWISTED METAL / SEASON 01 EPISODES 01 + 02

the world fell to shit.

not having easily accessible porn freaked people out.

it's like a goddamn maze in here.

i got a big package for you.

time makes a fool of us all.

what's your name, slugger?

time to turn on the charm.

guess i'm not getting that knife back.

i'm sure you've got some stories.

charming, devilishly handsome, you know the type.

he was invited to have a beer with a mysterious, mildly intimidating white lady.

you got a solid ass.

i've got a lot of power.

i can make people's desires, their dreams, their every wish come true.

you have no idea what i would do for some two-ply.

i've never met a baby before.

aren't you tired of almost dying every day?

arent you tired of always being alone?

he had a theory that little sins could attract big sins.

consider it your punishment for crimes committed against the law.

eat my ass.

saving your ass once again.

it'll make your nipples spin like a lady in the burly-q show.

that's why i'm here to see your pretty face.

it means dealing with a bunch of brainwashed, burger worshipping screwballs.

there's chaos out there.

you know, it's really rude not to introduce yourself before pulling a gun on someone.

how about you lower that sorry excuse for a gun and i'll lower my exceptionally cool blade.

we don't want things to escalate, do we?

see? now things have escalated.

this never happened to me before.

you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

six bullets, each with your name on it.

that said, i'm willing to negotiate.

i love you, but this is all your fault.

well excuse me for trying to get you something dope for your birthday.

you know what's dope? a full eight hours of sleep.

i call dibs on the man titties.

they'd rather eat the flesh of their own kind than starve.

silent, but not very deadly.

you can hide, but i have ways to find you.

damn. that usually works.

why are you scurrying away, little squirrel?

sounds like you have trust issues.

i finally felt hot water that wasn't my own piss.

i really appreciate you coming along nicely.

normally i have to drag people into here kicking and screaming.

you won't like what happens if you run.

i love names. i'm kind of a name guy.

you should consider yourself lucky.

there are some things i wish i could forget.

you holding in a fart or something?

are we really gonna kill these guys?

they see the world in shades of grey.

my entire life people have been lying to me.

being alone was all i knew.

i was gonna starve her, watch the life slowly drain from her eyes.

i think she's gonna give you a run for your money.

you try to kill me every chance you get.

why should i show you mercy?

if it wasn't for me, you would be a starving corpse right now.

neither one of us made it pretty far on our own.

instead of trying to stab each other in the back, we should put our heads together and figure out how in the hell we're going to make it through this.

cool, we're fucked.

i am gonna tour de force this machete down your throat.

if you're not gonna tell the truth, then i'm gonna make you shut up and bleed.

it was a fucking snooze-fest.

your performance was dull as dick water.

you don't want to spend the rest of your life alone.

i'm gonna embrace the chaos.

maybe i'll even fall in love.

i have to admit i didn't think we were gonna make it out of there alive.

what is your problem anyway?

i'm keeping the gun.

you're really not gonna tell me your name?

did you just ask me for oral?

eat my ass, fuck.

#sentence meme #rp meme #sentence starters #roleplay meme #starter sentences #rp starters #rpc #starter meme #rp sentences #rp prompts #sentence prompt #roleplay prompts #sentence prompts

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thinkbolt · 10 months

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dailymotion

Screwball Squirrel (MGM, 1944) - dir. Tex Avery

#Screwy Squirrel #Tex Avery #1940s #classic cartoon #golden age animation #MGM

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thatcartoonnetworkblog · 1 year

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Remember Cartoon Network’s Cartoon Campaign 2000? You had the ability to vote for one of 50 cartoons to decide what was king of the channel’s roster, although for years it’s been tough to find out the order these toona were voted for aside from the top 3, even though they were all revealed in a marathon.

Well, after doing some research, I finally found the whole list from 50-1, which I will post below. Feel free to share and talk about what you voted for and what surprises you the most here.

50. Snagglepuss

49. Magilla Gorilla

48. Gossamer

47. Wacky Races

46. Quick Draw McGraw

45. Michigan J. Frog

44. Elmer Fudd

43. Huckleberry Hound

42. Screwball Squirrel

41. Top Cat

40. Atom Ant

39. Superfriends

38. Tiny Toon Adventures

37. Hong Kong Phooey

36. Secret Squirrel

35. Pixie and Dixie

34. Porky Pig

33. Josie and the Pussycats

32. Popeye

31. Foghorn Leghorn

30. 2 Stupid Dogs

29. The Jetsons

28. Droopy

27. Yogi Bear

26. Animaniacs

25. Yosemite Sam

24. Freakazoid!

23. Pepe le Pew

22. Jonny Quest

21. I Am Weasel

20. Mike, Lu & Og

19. Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote

18. Batman: The Animated Series

17. Speedy Gonzales

16. Augie Doggie

15. Marvin the Martian

14. Daffy Duck

13. Cow & Chicken

12. Tazmanian Devil

11. Johnny Bravo

10. The Flintstones

9. Tom and Jerry

8. Sylvester & Tweety

7. Ed, Edd n Eddy

6. Courage the Cowardly Dog

5. Space Ghost/Brak

4. Dexter’s Laboratory

3. Bugs Bunny

2. The Powerpuff Girls

Scooby-Doo

#cartoon network #cartoon campaign 2000

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akcartoonist2004 · 1 year

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I’m thinking of doing a raccoon cartoon Character that would be like a screwball and Funny and would be pals with Skyler Fox my character. technically he’ll be inspired by Bob Clampett’s Daffy, Woody Woodpecker, and Tex Avery’s Screwy Squirrel.

Here’s the design I’m Brainstorming right now, I’m planning on doing more brainstorming designing.

But overall, What do y’all think?

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pesterloglog · 4 months

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Jane Crocker, Jake English, Dirk Strider

Act 6, page 6440-6446

JANE: It is just you and I now, Jake.

JANE: Alone at last.

JAKE: (Gulp!)

JAKE: Jane can you please tell me what in the sam hill is going on?

JAKE: Havent you kept me pinched in the hoosegow long enough?!

JANE: The what.

JAKE: What happened to my grandma! She seemed so nice then all of the sudden WHAMMO shes a gruesome monster!

JAKE: And whats with the thing she zapped on your head that flipped your cuckoo fruitcake switch! Is that what made you lose your marbles jane?

JAKE: And whyd you have to plant such a spanking haymaker on the old breadbasket? That really hurt! It still hurts!!

JAKE: And why oh WHY must my bottom rock these snug custard undies while you get to look like such a doggone BAD ASS?

JAKE: Am i at least permitted to put on a respectable pair of fucking shorts???

JANE: Absolutely not.

JAKE: But jane i...

JANE: Jake. Be quiet.

JANE: Having recently been crowned a supreme being of pure logic, my tolerance for your antiquated horseshit has fallen to nil.

JAKE: Im sorry jane you know what a shameless blatherskite i can be!

JAKE: Especially when im nervous i start bumping my gums and prattling my screwball poppycock til im blue in the puss!

JAKE: You know how rough its been for me jane. After we almost hopped the broom and then dirk slipped me the mitten over the whole trickster sockdolager... it all caught me flat footed and knocked me right into a cocked hat!

JAKE: If squirreling me away in the calaboose like this is payback for the way i behaved youve got to believe me i never meant to hurt you jane! Im doing my best here and thats the real simon pure... SCOUTS HONOR!!!

JANE: Argh!

JANE: Jake, now you have done it.

JANE: You have made me exclaim in frustration audibly.

JANE: If your intent is to welcome another knuckle sandwich instead of my reasoning for your captivity, then go on. Say ONE MORE THING that sounds like something a corny old man would say.

JANE: I dare you.

JAKE: (Double gulp!!)

JANE: That's what I thought.

JANE: Listen carefully, prisoner.

JANE: I stand to inherit a new empire very soon.

JANE: When Earth has reached its final destination, it will be repopulated with a fresh brood of loyal subjects over whom I will rule absolutely.

JANE: But I will not rule alone, Jake. Oh, no. I will need a husband to rule by my side.

JANE: That is where you come in.

JAKE: *Whimper...*

JANE: You and I will be wed, and we will rule my empire together with an iron oven mitt.

JANE: However, the mitt will be worn by me, and me alone. You will have no executive authority whatsoever, because you are too stupid.

JANE: You will always do exactly what I say, when I say it. You will be obedient, cheerful, mostly silent, and scantily clad. Is that understood?

JAKE: *Sob!*

JANE: You will also provide me with children so my imperial legacy will continue, and the Crocker brand will live on in infamy.

JANE: You will sire as many children as I ask for, and they will all be perfect, obedient little heirs and heiresses.

JANE: You do remember our recent agreement to have "a zillion babies," don't you, Jake? I do hope you were not planning to renege on this vow.

JAKE: *Sob sob sob...*

JANE: Our children will rule the empire when we are gone, which of course will be never, because we will be eternally young and beautiful and immortal and in love, for ever and ever.

JANE: We will travel the galaxy conquering planets and expanding my empire. No alien world will pose any resistance to our forces.

JANE: Especially not once I figure out how to unlock all that incredible "Page of Hope potential" hidden away in your pathetic, hunky body.

JAKE: *SOB!!!*

JAKE: Please no jane dont do this! I dont want to get married or sire children or rule an empire! Im scared and sad and afraid and i dont want to do this adventure anymore and i just want to go home!

JAKE: Please let me go back to earth jane! Just like it used to be! I just want to go back to my pumpkin patch in the jungle when things were simpler and all i had to worry about was being tackled by a feisty robot. I want to go back to when i didnt ruin all my friendships and when you didnt hate me and when you didnt go crazy and tell me to be your weird royal husband slave!

JAKE: WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

JAKE: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!

JAKE: *Hoooornk!*

DIRK: Ew, dude.

DIRK: Don't blow your nose on your cape.

JAKE: (Brain ghost dirk!)

JAKE: (*Sob...*)

JAKE: (Youve got to do something!)

DIRK: Sorry, man. I'd like to help you out.

DIRK: But I'm not real.

JAKE: (Dag nabbit!)

JAKE: (*Sniffle...*)

JAKE: (Are you sure theres nothing you can do?)

DIRK: I'm only as real as your ability to believe in me.

JAKE: (But i do believe in you.)

JAKE: (I believe in everybody!)

DIRK: Yeah right.

DIRK: You've never really believed in anyone your whole life, and you know it.

DIRK: Everything's always about you. Don't you remember? You already had this epiphany, dingus.

DIRK: I could only become truly real if you ever managed to harness those bomb as shit hope powers she mentioned.

DIRK: Then again, if you actually did that, you wouldn't even need my help.

JAKE: (But i cant!)

JAKE: (And i dont want to be a pawn in her lecherous baby making pastry empire.)

JANE: Jake.

JAKE: (*Blubber...*)

DIRK: Will you stop crying?

DIRK: It's reflecting poorly on both of us.

JAKE: (Sorry.)

JAKE: (*Sniff.*)

DIRK: Hey.

DIRK: Did you shave your legs?

JAKE: (No i think the magic god tier fire burned it all off...)

DIRK: God damn.

DIRK: They're so smooth.

DIRK: A car could swerve outta control on those gams.

JAKE: (I know. Its really weird.)

JAKE: (Speaking of legs...)

DIRK: Yeah. The little poofy asshole pants. I know.

JAKE: (Is that really what youre wearing now?)

DIRK: Yeah.

JAKE: (Sweet!)

DIRK: No.

JANE: JAKE.

JANE: To whom are you talking?

JAKE: Brain ghost dirk.

JANE: Brain... Ghost Dirk?

JAKE: Yes.

JANE: You are lying.

JAKE: No im not!

JANE: Brain Ghost Dirk sounds almost as fake as he is completely made up.

JAKE: But...

JAKE: *Snivel.*

JAKE: *WEEEEEEEEEEP!*

JANE: Oh, for goodness' sake.

JANE: Pull yourself together, Jake.

JANE: Your behavior is repugnant, and has no place in my empire.

JANE: What kind of man are you?

JANE: What kind of suitor to an heiress weeps uncontrollably when his imaginary friend's existence is called into question?

DIRK: She has a point there.

JAKE: *Wahhh!*

DIRK: Dude, would you quit bawling already?

DIRK: Stand up like a man, and punch her in the face or something.

JAKE: But i dont WANNA be a man and i dont WANNA punch her in the face!

JAKE: *WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!*

JANE: Punch WHOM in the face, now?

JAKE: Nobody! *HOOOOOOORNK!*

JANE: Just sickening.

JANE: To think I wasted my youth pining over a vile maggot like you.

JANE: Jake, you should not be misled when I imply that I love you, or when I command you to marry me and sire my children.

JANE: In truth I detest you, and if not for certain assets you possess, I would be sorely tempted to fork you full of holes right now and feed your remains to my daughter.

JANE: .

JANE: But I won't.

JANE: You're lucky you're so hot.

#homestuck #jane crocker #jake english #dirk strider #homestuck act 6 #page 6440 #page 6441 #page 6442 #page 6443 #page 6444 #page 6445 #page 6446 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 1

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stinkek · 10 months

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Looking through my old drafts on DA Sta.sh that I never published, found this one with a few Tex Avery cartoons' Russian title variants. I wrote it in 2016 and I don't care much at this point, I just don't like losing stuff sometimes.

Blitz Wolf

Три поросёнка и волк Адольф (Three Little Pigs and Adolf Wolf)

Волчий блицкгриг (Wolf Blitzkrieg)

Блиц Волк (literal translation)

The Early Bird Dood It!

Ранняя пташка поймала червя (Early Bird Caught the Worm. I don't like this title because it directly spoils the ending)

Кто рано встаёт, тому Бог подаёт (this is an idiom, synonyms are "The early bird catches the worm" and "He that will thrive, must rise at five")

Dumb-Hounded

Преследуемый (The Pursued)

Друпи-сыщик (Droopy the Detective)

Невозмутимая ищейка (Imperturbable Bloodhound, not sure if I used the right adjective)

Red Hot Riding Hood

Горячая красная шапочка (same thing, but "hot" is in the beginning)

Who Killed Who?

Кто кого убил? (literal translation)

What’s Buzzin’ Buzzard?

Голод в пустыне (Hunger in the desert. Or maybe I should use the word "famine", I'm not sure)

Что за суета, дружище? (What's the Fuss, Buddy?)

Screwball Squirrel

Белка-сумасброд (literal translation)

Бешеная белка (Mad Squirrel)

Happy-Go-Nutty

Сумасшедшая белка (Crazy Squirrel)

Сбежавшая белка (The Escaped Squirrel)

#tex avery #cartoon #title #russian #text #cw nazi reference #cw wwii reference

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sleepy-stories · 11 months

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OK, here goes my list, hope it's not too much. ^^'

Barney Bear (The Bear That Couldn't Sleep, 10/6/1939) Butch (The Alley Cat, 5/6/1941) Toodles (The Alley Cat, 5/6/1941) Tuffy/Nibbles (The Milky Waif, 18/5/1946 but actually Our Gang Comics #1, 30/6/1942) (Tex Avery's) Wolf (Blitz Wolf, 22/8/1942) Meathead (Sufferin' Cats!, 16/1/1943) Red (Red Hot Riding Hood, 8/5/1943) Topsy (Baby Puss, 25/12/1943) Screwy Squirrel (Screwball Squirrel, 1/4/1944) George (Henpecked Hoboes, 26/10/1946) Junior (Henpecked Hoboes, 26/10/1946) Lightning (Old Rockin' Chair Tom, 18/9/1948) Butch (Wags to Riches, 13/8/1949) Quacker (Little Quacker, 7/1/1950) Southern Wolf (The Three Little Pups, 26/12/1953)

100% yes i could add them in my list

It's not too much. It would be alot for me to do in the future but it would cool to draw out characters that are know to afew fans.

I have also posted on what i will be doing with the characters on the list. If you haven't check that out yet.

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arlenschumer · 1 year

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TONIGHT on ME-TV @ 12:35am EST, the LAST great episode of THE TWILIGHT ZONE: “STOPOVER IN A QUIET TOWN” (written by Earl Hamner, Jr., directed by Ron Winston, originally broadcast April 24, 1964) Writer Hamner presents a young married couple (Barry Nelson and Nancy Malone) from New York City, who wake up in the morning fully dressed in a suburban bedroom, unsure of how they got there, their only shared memory that of drinking too much at a party in Westchester the night before. As they begin to explore their interior and exterior surroundings, devoid of people, they find, to their shock and horror, that anything and everything they encounter is fake: the kitchen refrigerator has “stage” bread, the trees outside are props, the squirrel perched on a branch, stuffed. Hamner hurdles the harried and distraught couple to their final destination, a train that takes them to what they think is escape, at last, from their ordeal—only to find that it’s circled back to their awful, original location. And then Hamner drops the Twilight Zone deus ex machina of a giant child’s hand that swoops down from the sky and snatches the bewildered couple in its palm: an alien (yet human-looking) girl, whose “daddy brought them all the way from Earth.” What elevates this episode to “The Last Great Episode of The Twilight Zone,” is that Hamner is slyly telling two stories at once: underneath and alongside the plot just described is Hamner’s jaundiced eye cast on this couple’s terrible relationship, the dark underbelly of American marriage in the early ‘60s, pre-Women’s Liberation, portrayed as romantic and blissful, with husband dominant and wife submissive, in all other media and entertainment. Hamner instead posits the husband as a drunk who relentlessly blames his wife for "driving them into this mess" because he was “too tight to drive,” and she, after repeatedly professing her innocence, finally gives in and accepts his demeaning, episode-long verbal abuse of her as a “screwball”! The hell they're condemned to is not spending the rest of their lives as playthings in an alien's dollhouse--it's the hell of their own marriage. arlenschumer.com/twilight-zone @dgareps https://www.instagram.com/p/CoC8jQxLadY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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acmeoop · 1 year

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Bird Dog Switch “Screwball Squirrel” (1944)

#40s #mgm #mgm cartoons #screwy squirrel #meathead #screwball squirrel #gif #run cycle #tex avery

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earthmains · 2 years

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Police academy 1 zed costume

POLICE ACADEMY 1 ZED COSTUME MOVIE

POLICE ACADEMY 1 ZED COSTUME SERIES

But does it contain the best porta-potty-exposed scene in film history? You know, I do think so. Does it even blatantly rip off concepts and plots from the first three flicks? Yuppers. Is it juvenile and appeals to the low-brow among us? Yes. Is Police Academy 4 a superb film? Um, no. He’s funny and frightens the hell out of everyone else. My favorite underdog is Zed (Bobcat Goldthwait), whose voice and face flutters and fluctuates as much as a ’70s cartoon. Thus follows a long sequence of Harris “This program is going to fail and I’m gonna make it fail,” Mahoney “Just give them a chance, I know they can do it,” new screwballs going through training, a few romances, Evil Guy shows up, everyone saves the day. They pal around with The Policedudes: The New Batch, which consist of David Spade, a bloodthirsty old lady, and a really fat guy who’s the only one to make it onto Police Academy 5. So we have the old school of Mahoney, Jones, the big guy who is Bubba Smith, the blonde bombshell, and all the rest. That seems like a very irresponsible thing for police to do, sort of akin to luring human shields to protect the Real Cops. In an attempt to pass the torch to a new generation of policemen, our beloved heroes start a C.O.P.

POLICE ACADEMY 1 ZED COSTUME MOVIE

The district is overrun or something by like three skateboarders, one of whom is David Spade in his first movie role. Despite being as famous as Showgirls and rich as many kings, Steve decided that this was it for Officer Mahoney.Īt the film’s onset, we’re treated to the most ’80s rap ever (you know, back when you could understand the words rappers were rapping about) and the worst criminal act known to mankind: skateboarding. You know what I’m talking about - Steve Guttenburgenstein. Although Police Academy 5 was a decent run (and about the last watchable Police Academy movie made), number four is the end of the original franchise. Have I even begun to talk about this movie! Good gravy, no. I don’t need realism when I watch movies, I need fluffy elephants slipping on squirrel leavings and gratuitous music sequences. And happily, there is no attempt at realism. The Big Enemy does criminal acts, but is easily caught after an extended chase sequence. He has no sense of humor and is repeatedly humiliated by said goofballs. The Mean Enemy usually is associated with the goofballs and tries to make them look bad at every opportunity. I personally like the movies, mostly because they embrace the best of what eighties cinema had to offer (collective groan from the audience: “Oh, jeez, not THE EIGHTIES lecture AGAIN! Please! I’d rather have my colon sucked out my belly button than that!”).Ī bunch of screw-ups, all with one-note characters (Look! Jones makes funny sounds! Tackleberry likes heavy weaponry!). The Police Academy movies are seen by many as a low-rent Naked Gun gagfest, or a high-rent episode of COPS. Star Trek IV took Trek into comedy, Critters 4 went to space, and The Next Karate Kid got downright Swanky.

POLICE ACADEMY 1 ZED COSTUME SERIES

Sure, that sheriff might be direct-to-video, marking this film series as a lame joke, but sometimes that sheriff might be rustling up the posse for an a new twist. Justin’s review: Okay, now there might be rules on trilogies, but when a series heads into its forth film, there’s a new sheriff in town. Justin’s rating: Five bullets in six-chambered revolver which loads from a seven-stock belt out of a nine-piece outfit.

#Police academy 1 zed costume

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Tex Avery Birthday Spectacular!

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a celebration of the only cartoon director I knew as a kid and one of the finest whose ever lived, Mr. Tex Avery.

Avery is a legend in the animation industry and rightly so. Starting out at a few other studios, and loosing sight in one of his eyes due to some tomfoolery at one, Tex was annoyed with the restrctive enviorment and eventually found his way to Termite Terrace, the animated shorts wing of Leon Schislenger Productions, aka the future Warner Brothers Studios and the makers of Looney Tunes. And his impact on the franchise is vast, cannot be overstated and I only learned about just how much recently: The man created Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny, created the prototype for Elmer Fudd, and created the design for Porky we’re all far more familiar with.

Eventually though while he was happy there, his career when ended when he eventually got into a squabble with Leon schsinger over the ending of “The Heckling Hare” and left soon after. Given he got a four week unpaid suspension for it , a bit extreme given all he’d given the studio, I can’t blame him. He instead went over to MGM who badly needed his wacky energy, and thus got to go as nuts as he wanted, with creative control a better budget and the result was his peak and classic characters like Red and my personal faviorite and personal boy: Droopy. I will try and do a birthday thing for him next month, we’ll see if my rather packed schedule will allow for it. Point is I watched the guys cartoons a lot as a kid between looney tunes and his shorts being repacked for the Tex Avery show in the late 90′s, and until recently I had no idea the depth and scope of his career: The guy gave looney tunes it’s standard fourth walll breaking and made it a huge part of the industry, and he was the one to hlep htem break out of being a Disney knockoff and into what we know today. The guy has my utmost respect so today I honor him as the first animator to get one of my birthday specials: As is my standard ten shorts, my patreons get to pick one each (I now have two but she start’s next month so her benefits will too) if they so choose (Kev opted out of the porky pig one next week) and I went to my friend blah for a recomendation as he’s an avid fan of the golden age of animation and thus usually has a really good choice up his sleeve. Now that’s out of hte way join me under the cut for some shenanigans as old tex would want it that way.

1. The Gold Diggers of 49 (1935)

This was Tex Avery’s first short with warner and the first of his I could find, not ot mention his first time working with Chuck Jones and Bob Clampett, who he’d mentor and go on to be the heart and soul of Looney Tunes and define the characters Tex created. And since this is more significant than his earlier work i’m coutning it as his first. And as a start it’s.. ehhhhhhh.

I don’t blame him for it though. Most don’t hit it out of hte park their first time up to bat, and frankly the deck was stacked against him. He was saddled with Beans the Cat...

No one brak no one. He was part of an attempt by warner to create a new star as part of a Little Rascals/Our Gang style group of kids debuting in the short “I Haven’t Got a Hat”. This short is notable not for Beans, who no one cares about, but for the debut of Looney Tunes first star: Porky Pig. Porky was just one of the various characters but the only one audiences really liked. It took some time for Warner to get the hint though, hence Beans starring here and Porky playing his girlfriend’s father.. and also now being much older than him for some reason.

So instead of being a Little Rascals ripoff bean is now a mickey mouse ripoff, as the short gives me mickey mouse vibes.. but without the things that made those shorts actually good and feels mostly built on studios trying to make what they think audiences will like. There’s sparks of waht Tex would become.. but just not enough wiggle room for him to make something special. Also porky looks and sounds weird in this one and Bean’s girlfriend has a REALLY annoying voice. Oh and two horrible Asian stereotypes, because it was acceptable at the time but lord was it never okay. Then again I should be at least mildly greatful none of the shorts had blackface.. because tex apparently REALLY had a problem with that, something I obviously didn’t know as a kid as they edited it out but given most of his MGM shorts have “blackface edited out of x version”, yeahhh.... I may like the guy, quite a bit and feel those gags weren’t done out of malice.. but it dosen’t make them okay, they were never okay and he should’ve done better.

2. I Love to Singa (1936) Thankfully our next entry is 800% better, as we get a classic from my childhood and probably multiple childhoods. Admittedly part of the reason this one stuck in my head is the title song, sung by a young jazz singing owl whose dad doesn’t like that he sings Jazz instead of classical, enters a contest and nearly looses singing classical to please his dad only for his dad to intervene and finally accept his son. It’s a wonderful story of acceptance with some decent gags, beautiful animation and one hell of a title track that will probably never leave my head. The song is really what makes this short and sometimes that’s okay. Also just to note so someone else doesn’t: This short was a parody of the Jazz Singer one of the first talkie’s.. and also a film that uses blackface and whose 80′s remake bafflingly also uses blackface for some reason. Yes really.

3. Tortoise Beats Hare (1941)

One of Tex’s only four Bugs Shorts.. but given 3/4 of them are certified classics, and one of them involving a horrible stereotype.. to the point it’s part of the rightfully infamous “Censored 11″ and the ONLY one involving Bugs Bunny.

So as I said, Tex has a bad history with casual racism, and while it was the style at the time and I don’t THINK he was actively malicious towards black people.. it doesn’t make some of his work any less harmful. The rest of his bugs work though is remembered for the right reasons: his first appearance, and early classic we’ll get to next.. and this standout everyone who saw it as a kid or an adult fondly remembers.

You all know the premise: Bugs finds out, in an utterly brilliant wall shattering bit at the start where he reads off the crew names and then the title, that this picture will have him beaten by a turtle and taking offense to that challenges the guy. This is honestly one of the few Bugs shorts where he’s the out and out villain of the picture. He’s doing this race purely out of ego, yells at Cecil whose perfectly nice in this one, and in general is the bully set up for a fall he’d later be famous for taking on. But it works, both because this si early in bugs career so it’s entirely in character, and because Mel just really sells the obnoxiousness while still being funny.

This short also has one of Tex’s trademark setups as this is essentially a prototypical droopy cartoon: A meek, goofy voiced protagonist whose shorter than his large obnoxious enemy and who torments him by showing up every where he’s going to be and casually doing it. Cecil even does so using an army of fellow turtles with Droopy later using a similar trick in one of his shorts. As a big Droopy fan i’m clearly not complaining and while Droopy would do it better, this short’s still a classic for a reason with tons of great bits and is a fun break from the usual bugs setup, though in full fairness the usual bugs setup is still solid gold so take that how you will.

4. The Heckling Hare (1941)

Originally I was going to have Daffy in Hollywood in this spot as I thought it was on Max, it was not, so I swapped it out with his final bugs cartoon. For the record his first, and Bugs, is being saved for Bugs birthday this summer. And honestly i’m glad I did because this was 7 mintues of pure joy that has another setup that Tex himself and other Looney Tunes animators would resuuse: Bugs being pitted up against a far dumber antagonist. One who often still fully deserves it but allows him to just have fun for several minutes at this dumb bastard’s expense. It works well here, with tons of clever gags, my faviorite being the two doing dumb faces with each other only for bugs to stop and pull out a sign as seen right above.

It’s also an approriate capper to our warner made Tex shorts for the day, as this would be the one that got him fired. He and Schisnger argued over it and he got suspended as I mentioned and I found it again a bit fucking extreme. So did Tex and after a handful of shorts elsewhere, he’d move over to MGM, whose cartoons would ironically be bought up by warner. They needed a shot in the arm to compete with Disney and Warner and Tex was happy to provide hte needle filled with nonsense. And the results.. are pure gold.

5. Dumb Hounded (1943)

I’ll admit as a kid I didn’t know Tex’s MGM shorts were theatrical, or any shorts but somehow I knew they weren’t looney tunes. Besidds obviously having hteir own show they just had their own tone and pacing and style. While the Looney Tunes aren’t bad, at all honestly, Tex’s work here was in a class by itself with MGM gladly giving him a higher budget and even more creative freedom. And the results speak for themselves and one of those results is one of if not my faviorite classic cartoon character. And since I might not be able to get to his birthday with one of these next month, though i’m certainly going to try march is just VERY VERY FULL. Anyways point is our happy hero was introduced here. And given i’m frequently depressed and often withdrawn, not that you could tell from my reviews here, I related to this depressed bulldog who always won anyway despite being an outsider, finding love, sucess and always beating a much larger, much more assholish antagonist. But Droopy is good on his own merits as his shorts are just that funny.

This was true from Day One as dumb hounded is fucking perfect: The Wolf that Avery always used in his cartoons escapes from jail and is hunted by bloodhounds including our boy, who charmingly introduces himself with “You know what, i’m the hero”. From there it’s a simple setup but a great one as Droopy finds the guy.. then chases him from here to enternity with one amazing gag after another. Simple, utterly hilarious and the dawn of a legend, with the ending having Droopy go a bit nuts after getting his reward money before returning to his usual demeanor “You know what? I’m happy” So am I bud, so am I.

6. Red Hot Riding Hood (1943)

Yup same year. Tex hit the ground sprinting. This one is his signature MGM toon and for good reason. Using his usual forth wall breaking style, both the wolf and red riding hood rebel when it opens with a typical telling, so it changes to a 40′s nightlife setting: Grandma lives in a penthouse and is man hungry, Red is a fanservicey night club act and the Wolf is a sexually harassing asshole who chases after here and has some over the top reactions to her that are iconic in some’s mind.

The short is gorgeously animated with Red’s dance sequence and Wolfie’s reactions being the highlight and the short isn’t as bad as it could be as the wolf is treated as a scumbag for hitting on her and generally being a creep. SO the first two thirds aren’t bad with nice touches like the narrator clearly improvising the new story. It’s just badly hampered by the last half where Grandma sexually harasses Wolfie and it just doesn’t work. This double standard stuff annoys me and “haha get it it’s funny when a woman stalks a man” isn’t funny. Wolfie stalking her really isn’t that funny either it’s just not you know an entire third of the film. So a classic for a reason.. but one that really has degraded with time. Still worth analyzing and what not, just not great.

7. Who Killed Who? (1943)

Yes still. It was a good year. This is another one off like Red Hot Riding Hood and as is tradition since the Tom and Jerry one, my patreons each get to pick one and Kev selected this one. And this.. was a great choice.

Seriously I could not stop laughing with a great gag a minute, WAY too many to mention, a classic ending, and just nothing but net the whole time. I don’t have much to say really.. but because this one’s just good. The whodunnit genre hasn’t really gone away, it’s cliches are welll known even today and this is a lovely parody of it that hits the ground running after a live action intro and runs right through the wall across a lake and straight into droopy “You moved.”.

The only real observation I have other than “This is fucking awesome watch it immediately” is that the villian looks exactly like the Phantom Blot. Who knew the Phantom Blot was a live action guy with a weird haircut the whole time huh? Seriously this one is a masterpiece, an instant faviorite, and I highly recommend it.

8. Screwball Squirrel (1944)

As you can probably guess by how I lead it in this one is not very good. It is tex TRYING to make a bugs or daffy type character again and somehow failing at it. He created them, he did plenty of shorts like theirs with other characters and got how the cat and mouse antics of the old theatrical shorts worked.. so I have no idea how this one happened.

I’m really not overselling it: The short is about Screwy, who hyjacks it from a cute widdle bunny clearly parodying bambi.. who he beats the shit out of, then decides to get things going asks a dumb dog to hunt him, then insults him to provoke him to attacking him. He then spends the entire short tormenting the poor dumb bastard who again HE PROVOKED. It feels like a poor imitation of dumb hounded, as while Bugs clearly outclassed the dog there, he’d die if he lost, so while he was punching down, he clearly didn’t have a choice and you can’t honestly blame him. Here, Screwy is fine, he just wants someone’s head to fuck with and spends a whole short torturing him. We don’t even get catarsis as while the dog does catch him at the end via weird gag, they end up deciding to beat up the bunny instead.

His voice is also just the worst, just utterly grating and making me wish an anvil woudl fall on HIM instead. Screwy would return for some other shorts but I have no idea why. This was easily the weakest of these ten shorts and I will probably not return to the guy next year.

9. Bad Luck Blackie (1949)

This is one i’d forgotten till I got a ways in. It’s also weirdly one of the only MGM Tex shorts on HBO Max as this was included in the Tom and Jerry collection for some reason, the dog in it clearly isn’t the tom and Jerry verison of spike... though the dog Droopy fought a lot was indeed called spike. Yes that is confusing, no I don’t know why MGM thought this was a good idea.

As a result though I have been saving giving out about this till now but seirously , put the tex avery shorts on HBO Max. Their on Blu-Ray, their on boomerang, especially Droopys. I do not get why they aren’t on here. I’m tired of them holding things out for the boomerang app when not everyone subscirbes to that. Let me have my morose dog dammit.

That giving out aside i’m glad this one caught my eye via i’ts weird name as it’s another masterpiece. It also does what one Tom and Jerry short I reviewed, the one where tom’s a millionare, earlier this month failed to: properly make it’s antagonist loathsome enough to deserve the parade of abuse he gets. With that one Tom is tourturning jerry for like 30 seconds, but Jerry torments him for most of 5 minutes.

Here we get about two minutes of our lead kitten getting torremnted by a mean bulldog. It’s not only still a bit entertaining to lessen the horror just enough to be watchable but not enough to make the bulldog likeable, but it makes what happens for the rest of the short oh so fucking satsifying. While the previous short today really didn’t get the karmic ballance neded for a good classic screwball comedy short this one overwhelmingly does.

Our kitten gets some help in the form of Blackie, a professional black cat who agrees to turn the tables, sauntring across to a wonderfully catchy tune. any time the little guy whistles. The result from there is 5-6 nonstop minutes of comedy genius, as Tex finds new and creative ways for the cat to come out of nowhere, and even shakes things up to keep it intresting towards the end iwth the dog getting the whistle.. only for it to still not work out, and for our little kitten to get his revenge at last by painting himself black after the bulldog paints blackie white. As should be obvious by now, it’s really good, showing Screwball Squirrel was the exception not the rule. In general Tex was this good during his mgm and when he was at his peak we got gems like this. Truly sensational, watch it if you have max it’s under the tom and jerry section for some reason.

10. T.V. of Tommorow A decent one I remember seeing as a kid. Not much to say though, it’s mostly a bunch of gags about “future” tv’s based on their viewer’s needs. Some good stuff.. not as good as most of what was here today but still better than the worst of it and still very memorable and part of a memorable tetralogy i’ll probably come back to when I do Tex’s birthday again next year. Not a bad note to end on though.

Overall these shorts show just how strong a creator tex was, gleefully taking convention and ripping it to tiny pieces. As i’ve mentioned many times i’ll be coming back to his work next year.. and probably be watching a hell ofa lot more in the time between. Might even do a second special on him in between birthday ones. We’ll see how this does. The Tom and Jerry one sadly wasn’t quite the hit I hoped.

Until then I have many other reviews. And since Today (This review is late) was supposed to be the 90′s tom and jerry movie but that turned out not to be on Max for some reason. I still plan to cover it some day i’ll just have to find it and buy it first. But tommorow if I have the time i’ll be continuing the Lena retrospective with an intresting little side trip. So until then, i’ts been a pleasure and you know what? Thanks for reading.

#tex avery #droopy #bugs bunny #porky pig #the gold diggers of 49 #cecil turtle #tortoise beats hare #the heckling hare #tv of tommorow #dumb hounded #red hot riding hood #who killed who #red #spike #bad luck blackie #screwy squirrel #screwball squirrel #owl jolson #I love to singa

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