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rhythmantics · 1 year

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what the FUCK do you mean you wrote two of the best prototype fics AND drew some of the best art. illegal

seriously though i am in love with your characterisation, especially of all three mercer siblings. frankly your version of dr mercer is the best ive seen in the entire fandom lmao

Thank you! I'm really glad you're enjoying that terrible bastard of a man. Dr. Mercer enjoyers unite. We love this evil skinny twink

Thoughts about Mercer sibling characterization + themes of the game (under a cut because it's VERY LONG):

The thing I try to stress when writing Doc Mercer (hereto referred to as "Xander") is that yes, he is a narcissistic, vain, arrogant bastard of a man, generally irredeemable, with extremely loose and/or nonexistent morals and a terrible personality.

However, [PROTOTYPE] is a game where most of the characters are some level of fucking awful and monstrous, but their motivations are still explored, and sometimes even still justified. I mean, Alex eats people. Randall was on his way to nuke Manhattan. Blackwatch regularly laughs at being able to murder innocent civilians. A powerful moment in some of the WOI's is Blackwatch gleefully discussing killing people, while the visuals show a camp on a rooftop where the survivors have written a big "NOT INFECTED" in a bid to not be murdered by Blackwatch.

Still, there's nuance there. Alex may grow a conscience and save New York, but he's still, you know, a walking viral apocalypse that both eats people and enjoys it/thinks it feels "right." Blackwatch murders all the people they want, but at the end of the day, they ARE the line that stands between humanity and viral apocalypse. And Randall might even be justified in nuking Manhattan if it means taking Alex out, because - you know - walking viral apocalypse (and for all Randall knows, ZEUS only killed Elizabeth to establish his dominance as hive queen supreme). I don't see why Doc Mercer should be exempt from that nuance, but he so very often is.

So that as my starting point, what do we know about Doc Mercer? Well, mostly from the PRIMA guide, we have his backstory. This backstory is so hilariously awful that I legitimately don't think I'd believe you if you told me he wasn't supposed to be sympathetic.

Xander's mom is thrown in jail right after he's born, no other family is willing/able to take him in, so he's thrust into the foster care system (no father is EVER mentioned, ever)

To make matters worse, Dana's bio mentions that she moved "to New York" to follow her brother, implying that they aren't NY-born, which further implies that they're from NEW FUCKING JERSEY LOL (it's only like, an hour's bus away from Columbia U, where Xander went to college)

Xander is kicked around foster care system like a hot potato until mom is released from jail. Seems like she either got pregnant right at the end of her stint, or right as she got out; he's 10 when she regains custody of him, but 9 when Dana is born.

Dana's bio says "[Xander] was the only parent figure Dana ever knew." It also said their mother had "drinking problems." Xander raised Dana to the degree that she literally doesn't even see her mom as a parent.

"For [Xander], foster care was better." Yikes. That's definitely an implication of abuse (if the parentification weren't enough). What kind of abuse? Well, they're often bundled together, but we can make a Strong Case for extreme violence at minimum, given the following:

What was mom in jail for? A 9-year sentence implies a second-degree crime, which, uh... take your pick: aggravated assault, aggravated arson, theft of an item more than 75k$, armed burglary or burglary that results in injury or threats of injury, unlawful possession of a firearm, sexual assault. Yikes

Bio outright describes it as living in "abject poverty," so with the fact that he was LITERALLY the only parent Dana knew (a role he was forced into starting at the age of TEN), as soon as he was legally able, he probably had to take on a job in addition to school and childrearing.

Given the "abject poverty" angle, I find it doubtful that he was able to leave home until he graduated, especially given that a commute from Jersey to Columbia U could be as short as an hour. Since he graduated from his PhD at the age of 24, that means he was Dana's parent until she was fifteen. 3/4 of her life by the time of the game.

Needs to be stressed: this man changed her diapers, warmed up her formula, cooked meals for her, helped her with homework, taught her sex-ed and what puberty was, helped her get her first job, taught her how to apply for college. He is, for all intents and purposes, Dana's father. (Put a pin in that!)

Like... holy shit! This is a sympathetic character! I don't know how anyone would be able to read that in isolation and not feel bad for this guy. I mean, this is a person who has literally ALL the trauma. Like, he's in the 99th percentile of worst childhoods in America. This boy has collected PTSDs like they are pokemon.

The PRIMA guide literally says that, at the end of all that, he "trusted no one, had no friends, cared less and less what others thought of him," and was an "impatient, dark, tortured person" with a history of burning bridges. "Forever paranoid," "morally ambiguous," and "teetering on the border of sociopathy" are also used to describe him, and - yeah, of course! I mean, did you SEE his backstory? Holy shit.

And what really fascinates me about this is that, even under those circumstances? He was probably the best parent he could have been to Dana. She literally sees him as one, stuck around NYC for five years because he was just that important to her, and trusts and cares for him so deeply that she's willing to risk her life for him/willing to forgive Alex ranting about how eating people "feels right."

Some people argue that he was using Dana as a pawn, or manipulating her, etc. etc., and I really dislike this take (though, of course, everyone's entitled to their own HCs etc., especially because a lot of the PRIMA stuff was clearly rewritten by the time of the game's release). First, I think that a working college girl with a fiery personality like Dana would not have stuck around for FIVE YEARS if she didn't feel like Xander deserved it - and given that he was also ghosting her for those five years, any manipulation he had her under would have worn off. Like, it's REALLY HARD to gatekeep gaslight girlboss someone if you're no-contact with them. Also, are you trying to tell me that an eleven-year-old boy was looking at a literal 2 year old going "yes... I will raise her to trust me absolutely... as a tool for me to use in the future... and then completely ignore her calls for 5 years!" C'mon.

But the second, and more important, reason I don't agree with that take is that I feel like it strips Dana of agency and reduces her to this almost damsel-like role. Nah, man, even if Xander was not her brother/dad, she would have risked her life to help him out. Why? Because she's a fucking anarcho-socialist journalism student, that's why!

Her PRIMA bio is really interesting in that regard; I feel like the game didn't show off well enough just how awesome Dana actually is. She's studying journalism at NYU. You may have heard that her job is "writing tabloids," but that's such a simplification/misunderstanding of the text! We actually have the titles of the publications she writes for, and they are: "Everything You Know Is Wrong", "Bathsheba", and "The Military/Industrial Complex Report." Even just from that small glimpse (and the fact that she calls Blackwatch "goose-stepping motherfuckers"), I think it's evident that she's got some deeply anti-government, anti-military, anti-fascist beliefs.

Furthermore, Dana is like... kind of a terrible person. Here's a great excerpt from her bio that I feel like isn't talked about enough (emphasis mine):

"She owes money all over town, and somehow manages to sweet talk friends into lending her more. She's a hustler, good at manipulating people. Like her brother, she's narcissistic and evasive. When she doesn't like someone she'll go out of her way to make sure they know it - particularly if they push the point. She's disrespectful, foul-mouthed, and not afraid of a fight. This all serves her well when she's neck-deep in a story, but in real life, her kind of behavior only makes her one thing: enemies. In short, she's her brother's sister."

Guys, I am not normal about that last sentence. It's phrased the same way as "she's her mother's daughter" or "she's her father's son." Like. Oh my god, Xander is basically her dad.

But back on topic: Dana is characterized as a BADASS BITCH who doesn't take shit from ANYBODY and is ALREADY anti-government. She literally calls the Blackwatch shit "the story of the century." She would have taken that case on even if it weren't her brother presenting it to her, no manipulation necessary.

AND she knew the risks. I've seen it argued that Xander's to blame for "tricking" her into investigating something that put her life in danger, but I think that's unfair to him. First, I think Blackwatch would've investigated and/or disappeared Dana either way, given how trigger-happy they are. Second, she knew the risks - that's why she was using her friend's penthouse apartment as a safehouse. She was prepared to risk her life for this story; BW just moved faster than she anticipated and ambushed her at her apartment.

(And, also, like, just as an aside, we don't know if she had permission to be in her friend's place, and given her PRIMA bio, she probably didn't, like she just full-on broke into her friend's really nice apartment LOL probably even chose the friend with the nicest digs LOL)

This also serves as such an interesting glimpse into not only her and her brother's relationship, but her brother's characterization. We already know that Xander possesses good social skills to some degree, given that he has a girlfriend who was willing to risk her life for him (she went back to the lab to get something for him, which is how she got caught - let's ignore for now the ethics of dating his subordinate); he also climbed the ranks at his job, rising to Associate Director (McMullen's direct subordinate) sometime within only five years.

Dana's bio, however, confirms it. Every description of her personality becomes associated with Xander with the phrase "she's her brother's sister." Xander is a hustler; he's manipulative and gets people to do what he wants. Xander is evasive, disrespectful, and lets people feel it when he doesn't like them. Xander makes enemies. BUT.

Even in the midst of all that - his paranoia, the fact that he's having a freak-out because his coworkers are being "silenced," and that he ghosted Dana for five years in an effort to leave the past behind him... who does he trust to have his back? Dana. I need you guys to understand. He doesn't go to Dana because she's an easy tool for him to manipulate. He goes to Dana because he's scared for his life and she is the only person he trusts. I think there's a reason Alex latches onto her when he learns she exists, and part of it is definitely because the scaffold he's built on, the original Dr. Mercer, viewed Dana as unconditionally trustworthy. The feeling is mutual.

And just in case you needed some sort of in-game proof? He has at LEAST two photos of Dana on his foyer wall. Legit. Go back and rewatch that cutscene when Alex walks into Xander's apartment. He has 2-3 photos of Karen... and 2-3 photos of Dana. He's been ghosting Dana, but he keeps photos of her on his wall, where he sees them every day, right next to where he works. One of the Dana photos is also the only photo that Xander is not in. I just... he loves his sister. He's just too mentally ill to be normal about it and keep in contact.

So, we have here pretty much Xander's ONLY redeeming quality: cares about his sister! That's it. That's all he's got. Let's talk about some other irredeemable stuff.

So far, I've talked a lot about the PRIMA guide, but now I'm going to talk about what's in the actual game, because it's quite interesting, and I don't think all of it made it into the fandom zeitgeist. It's too bad, because this one major fact really adds a shitton of nuance to this character:

Xander was out of the loop.

Xander did not know anything about Hope, Idaho. Xander did not know that Blackwatch existed. Xander didn't even fucking know that his human test subjects were deliberately infected. Within day one, Alex knows more about the conspiracy surrounding Blacklight than Xander ever did. And we know exactly how much he knew about the virus because he mailed Dana a laptop containing everything he was able to find, and it pretty much got as far as "MOTHER is named Elizabeth Greene" and "Hope, Idaho existed...?" We have a WOI where Randall expresses concern over even giving Xander access to MOTHER, and a WOI where Xander is pissed the hell off when he finds out that their human subjects were not naturally infected. He didn't know!

That suddenly casts his role in Blacklight's production in a much less nefarious light. Look at this job from Xander's point of view: You're a 24 year old who completed an 8-year college run (undergrad and PhD) in six years, WHILE raising a teenage girl and probably while working, too. At graduation, you get offered this insanely cushy job, with a threat that you'll be blacklisted from the industry if you refuse (this literally happened to Dr. Ragland, according to his PRIMA bio). It's a top-secret government job. The government's not great, but you have loose morals, and it can't possibly be worse than Albert Einstein building the atom bomb. So. Whatever.

(On top of that, they're already lying to you abour what the project's purpose is. Xander states he "didn't know" what he was working on until he "figured it out," and there's a WOI where one employee raves that the virus could be used to cure every disease on earth. It seems there was a general vibe that they were probably working bio-weapons, but no one knew FOR SURE, and a contributor to Xander's meltdown is the fact that his research results just... vanish. He doesn't know what they're being used for.)

Plus, holy shit, the pay. Xander is making, like, seven figures by the time he's 29. He lives in an apartment on the Upper East Side (where Gossip Girl takes place lol). The average price for a one-bedroom there is, like, 4000$ a month. This man spent 24 years in brutal poverty; the money matters to him.

On top of that, the stuff they're doing at GENTEK? Of course, it's stomach-turning, but it wouldn't clock as inherently unethical. Xander's fury at learning that MOTHER was a test subject, and not naturally infected (as he's been led to believe), implies that they were NOT infecting people at GENTEK. The bodies we see in WOI, their test subjects, were already infected by the time they got there, supplied to GENTEK with a cover story, that the virus was one they'd found naturally, and that these people - whose brains were fried by the virus - were just unlucky victims of random happenstance. Furthermore, making viruses more dangerous is legitimate virology. It's called "gain-of-function" experimentation, and while it is controversial (for obvious reasons), it's still something you would potentially be doing at an above-board lab.

That means that, prior to Penn Station, the worst Xander can be accused of is being a bootlicker, class traitor, who knowingly worked on WMDs for the US government. And yeah, that is monstrously evil, and Albert Einstein is a monster by that metric, but it's a level of evil that's matched or surpassed by almost every other character in the game. Dana and Ragland are the two exceptions, maybe Karen too, depending on whether you think her low hierarchical position absolves her of any sin. McMullen and everyone at Blackwatch are all more culpable than Xander. They're the ones giving him orders - he's the low man on the totem pole!

And his reaction upon realizing how deep the rabbit hole goes? It's not asking to join up with the evil side. It's not going out to do a terrorism (even if that's how it ends up). It's blowing the whistle. His first instinct is to go to his sister, the anti-government, anti-military journalism student. And as he spirals into panic and anxiety, it's to escape the city, while warning someone - probably Dana - to "get out of there". Even McMullen says, when Alex confronts him, "you were always so smart. You were ready to give up all our secrets. [...] We were trying to figure it out -- you just wanted to bring it all down." The class traitor was about to redeem himself. His motivations might still be selfish - to punish the people who lied to him, to save his own ass - but he's not a cartoon villain.

It's only after he's cornered, staring down guns, realizing that all his efforts were futile, possibly even realizing that Dana is next, that he smashes the vial. AND EVEN THEN... I think we're supposed to understand why he did it. Not sympathize, necessarily, but... look at his life. Abandonment, abuse, parentification. Skipping meals to make sure Dana can eat. Running on a sleep deficit because homework has to be done after helping Dana with hers after coming home from work after going to school. His wealth and girlfriend are hollow victories when he can't trust people enough to make friends. He loves his sister, enough to keep her photos on his foyer wall, but can't bear engaging with her as an adult on equal footing. He thought he'd finally caught a break, only for it to turn out to be a death trap from the start. Yes, choosing to smash the vial was an irredeemable action, a selfish, vindictive, and evil choice; however, I don't think he could have chosen differently. Dr. Mercer was not necessarily intended to be a sympathetic character (although he was), but he was certainly, bare-minimum, intended to be a tragic one.

It seems like the game went through several rewrites, and those rewrites confuse a pretty major plot beat: does the virus Xander releases at Penn Station burn itself out, or does it go on to become the main virus on the streets of Manhattan? This question, and where you personally fall on it, is really important. And that's because... if the virus burns itself out in Penn Station (which apparently the writer confirmed on Twitter, but there's evidence in the game to suggest the opposite), then that means Xander has one of the lowest body counts in the game.

Yeah, you heard me. Let's say the virus burns itself out in Penn Station. How many people would that even be? A few thousand? In 2009, Penn Station served about 300,000 people per day. That is really busy, but obviously, not all of those people - or even a majority of those people - are going to be in the station at any given time. It's probably a number around four digits. Um, how many people does Alex kill over the course of the game, again? Obviously, the in-game kill counts can't exactly be trusted, because you can rack up millions depending on how much you fuck around, but it's generally agreed that he's in the tens of thousands, between all the military bases he destroys, civilians he eats, and soldiers he cuts through. Randall has been confirmed to have ordered the glassing of both Hope, Idaho, AND Two Bluff, Arizona, with an attempt on Manhattan. (Cross also mentions a Kentucky in one of the cut lines, implying there's more cities and casualties than we even know about.) There are 1.6 million people living in Manhattan in 2009, so Randall was about to kill, like, a thousand times more people than Xander.

It also means he never put Dana in danger. If it's a virus that burns out on its own, he - the person whose work was "years ahead of his nearest competitor" - would know that it wouldn't reach her. And it would make sense if it burns out, too, because it's a bio-weapon. Not a great bio-weapon if it causes a a whole-ass apocalypse! And I also don't think it's fair to blame Xander for Alex letting Elizabeth Greene out of her cage, because by that point, 1) Xander is dead, 2) Dana sent Alex there, 3) Alex is a fully sapient and independent being who is not under Xander's orders because Xander is dead. I mention this because I've literally run into people who believe that the virus burned itself out at Penn Station, BUT ALSO that Xander releasing the vial directly put Dana in danger of infection AND that Elly's rampage is somehow his fault. You can't have it both ways!

That's actually why I don't believe that the virus burned itself out. Narratively and thematically, it's much better if Xander did release his virus knowing that it might cause a full-on apocalypse. That does make it so that he risked his sister's life (although you can argue that he figured she was as good as dead, anyways, given that they'd tracked him down - I don't, since I think he was too busy panicking and being sleep-deprived to be thinking about that), and it DOES make the entire ensuing tragedy his fault. And the reason that this is important is because of Xander's role as a "father" to Alex.

Here's something else that's important to note, which I often see overlooked: Alex places the blame on the shoulders of Randall, not Xander. "You bastard," he says after he's eaten Randall. "You could have stopped all this - you let it happen." Meanwhile, here's what he actually says about Xander: "what Mercer did is beyond forgiveness," and at the end of the game, "Alex Mercer. This city suffered for his mistakes, for what he did at Penn Station. And whoever he was - that's a part of me." We aren't supposed to think he's unilaterally evil without nuance. Pretty much everyone, Alex included, has done things "beyond forgiveness" in this game. We're instead supposed to ponder what it means to be derived from his stock.

What is Alex's characterization? To be frank, Alex is a dumbass baby. I know that this is not necessarily popular, but I genuinely believe that it's intentional. There are literally cut lines from the very first mission that REALLY drive home that this poor guy has NO IDEA what's going on. Begging people to stop shooting at him, thinking to himself "where's a place with a lot of people?" (honey, you're in NYC), and generally going "what was that? how did this happen? what's going on? what? huh? what?"

There's also needing Ragland to suggest to him the novel idea of breaking both spines on the leader hunters, and following Phone Voice into a death trap, and then still listening to Phone Voice a second time, not to mention how awkwardly he shrugs his way out of Karen Parker's hug, or how he's constantly pushing himself all the way into Dana's personal space/startling her/disappearing while no one's watching. There's a point where his brilliant plan for getting McMullen to land is to disable some infection detectors... while standing ankle-deep in biomass... looking up at McMullen. He's just, ah, ehm... not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you replay the game with that in mind, it... yeah. I mean. His first instinct upon being attacked by helicopters is to go up onto the roof of a building, where he is surprised by... more helicopters. Who left this child unattended? Where are your guardians.

I know I'm exaggerating - Alex does show remarkable flexibility and adaptability and on-the-fly problem-solving sometimes - but when the PRIMA bios and McMullen repeatedly stress that Xander is clever, manipulative, a schemer, a hustler, "so smart," it really highlights how... straightforward Alex is in comparison. You cannot tell me that Alex, as he's presented in-game, is "a lateral thinker - plans within plans."

And the interesting thing is, this actually seems like a fairly late-stage change! The original PRIMA guide blurb for "The Prototype" seems to suggest that he is actually an amnesiatic Dr. Mercer, not a wholly separate entity. It goes on and on about how "The Prototype" is cool, calm, dry and witty, always in control of his body, etc. etc., but that really doesn't match the in-game characterization at all (he's consistently characterized as awkward, unsure of himself), meaning that I think this is more proof that a characterization as "fucking idiot dumbass baby" was intentional.

Sampling of cut voice lines:

"Ghost Twelve, Ghost Twelve... oh, shit, that's my callsign..."

"Aw, I hate D-Codes..."

"They think I'm dead. Perfect. I can't wait to see the look on McMullen's face."

"I need to get somewhere with a lot of people... somewhere where they can't just keep firing at me."

"Where is there a lot of fucking people? Where?" (girliepop you live in NEW YORK)

"Just remember! This was your idea!"

like. cmon, man.

That being said, Alex is not innocent. He starts the game without a conscience, easily and effortlessly killing people, instinctively eating them, too. He's quite literally built upon two existing minds - the people-eating virus, and the sociopathic misanthrope. I think this is why he defaults to shoving people and has no option to put them down gently - he's filled with Xander's rage, his hatred, and his casual cruelty. One of his earliest lines is this: "revenge was the only clear thought in my head. The only one I could call mine." LITTLE DOES HE KNOW. He continues. "I wanted to find out what happened to me. The reason. Someone to blame. Someone I could punish."

And now we get into a major theme of the game, my thesis: [PROTOTYPE] is about family. It's about nature vs. nurture, it's about the cycle of abuse, and it's about how the people who raise us, shape us. Xander is the "father" of this story; he's consistently placed in that role relative to Dana, and Alex directly inherits his genetics, his appearance, his name, and even his initial personality from him. And as for the mother... there is literally a character in the game named MOTHER.

Alex is, in a very literal way, the child of Xander and Elizabeth Green. He was born out of a fusion of their DNA - the virus infecting Xander's body. Elizabeth also literally says "I am your MOTHER" in their first meeting. And as if that weren't enough, Elizabeth's relationship to Alex directly mirrors Xander's relationship with his own mother: the first thing Elizabeth does is abandon Alex, and when she returns, it's only to threaten Dana's safety and torment him. Xander himself becomes a mirror to his own absent father, disappearing before he ever got to know his son. This is the cycle of abuse, the tragedy that occurs when someone who was abused becomes trapped by it, and has no ability to operate outside its confines, perpetuating the pain that was inflicted upon them.

However... something's different. Alex is not left alone to suffer like Xander does. He has Dana - a parental figure who loves him unconditionally, whom he loves unconditionally in turn. And she is the impetus for his ability to change, the one who most directly molds his burgeoning consciousness. His interactions with Dana are brief, but even in those brief interaction, she teaches him empathy ("my god, [Elizabeth]'s just a girl. What kind of fucking monsters are these people?"), kindness/mercy ("whoa, whoa, whoa. [Ragland]'s a good guy"), and trust ("look, no matter what, you're still my brother"). Let's go back to our pin. Xander is Dana's "father" also... and he was the best one she could have had, given the circumstances. Dana represents breaking the cycle. Dana represents Xander's single redeeming quality.

In other words... the key difference between Alex and Xander is that Alex has an adult figure in Dana that he can trust and rely upon, something Xander never had... because Xander was that for Dana. Xander broke the cycle. That's the one good thing he managed to do.

Now, we know that lots of rewrites happened, that final boss stuff got shifted around, and things got moved into a sequel hook, like Dana's fate or PARIAH's whole deal. However, I think we can almost piece together what it might have been if we follow this thematic line of thinking. Because here's something quite interesting: PARIAH... is in foster care. A child who kills everything he touches, abandoned and trapped, a monster, whose only use is as an agent of evolution, a direct parallel for Xander at his worst - this tortured man who "found solace only in his work", for whom foster care was better, who teetered on sociopathy and didn't care. Randall represents the government, the system, that put him there - the first ones to ever screw Xander over. So if we assume that the final boss was originally PARIAH, and Alex still needs to eat his way through Elizabeth and Randall to get to him, then an incredibly interesting thing happens when we view that sequence of events from this thematic perspective.

Alex would triumph over MOTHER, the government, and Xander's worst. The crystallization of the fleeting love within Xander's heart - the one redeeming facet of Xander's personality - would overcome his abusive mother, the cold-hearted system that forsook him, and even his own worst traits, the monster he was molded into. Quite literally, love would win. And I think this would have even tied in to curing Dana - that this would become a major facet of Alex's motivation - that he'd need PARIAH in order to cure her, or something like that. Dana - kindness, empathy, and love, breaking the cycle of abuse - becomes the impetus for Alex to change, to become a better person, to grow a conscience, to trust others. I think that's the central theme of this game.

Xander's shadow looms large over the entirety of [PROTOTYPE]'s story. There are more themes than just family, but it's the one I wanted to highlight, because I think it's the one most central, most core to the game's emotional experience. At every turn, you can feel the ghost of Xander - not just because Alex is literally wearing his corpse.

I'll restate here the relevant parts of Alex's closing monologue:

"I looked for the truth. Found it. Didn't like it. Wish to hell I could forget it. Alex Mercer. This city suffered for his mistakes, for what he did at Penn Station. And whoever he was - that's part of me."

Xander is Alex's father - the person from whom he inherited his base nature. But Alex is able to grow beyond that - to trust others, to love others.

"What have I become? Something less than human. But also something more."

Xander was so tormented by his past, by his abandonment, neglect, and abuse, that he was unable to face his sister. Terrified of the pain of abandonment, he chose to abandon her rather than risk being rejected when she became an adult. And yet, he loved his sister. That's the nuance of this character, the legacy he leaves. One of cruelty, but also one of kindness. Both are inherited by Alex - it's fair to say that everything Alex is has been shaped by Xander, his father. The bad... but also the good. And it is because of that miniscule, faltering, fleeting "good" that Xander was able to procure, that Alex is able to rise above what Xander became.

TL;DR: It would be appropriate, both narratively and thematically, to call Xander "daddy".

#prototype 2009 #[prototype]#alex mercer #alexander james mercer #alexander j mercer #dana mercer #general randall #sure hope that rambling mess was coherent to somebody

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twiceland · 5 months

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oh my gosh okay first of all happyyyy wednesday (it is wednesday in my timezone hehe) to everyone !!! today i hit 1k followers after having this blog since october 2022, and i feel ever so grateful for all of you, mutuals or not, for supporting me throughout this wild ride <//3 i'm currently in exam season (i'm crying inside) so i haven't been very active this year but i am still so happy and excited and ahhhh!!!!!! this means so much to me and honestly i can't even believe that we're here in this moment but wahshjdfhgjshd thank you all soooooo much <3 to celebrate, i decided to write mini email looking notes for some of my mutuals! please don’t be offended if i didn’t write an email for you; if you would like an email and we are mutuals please send me an ask and i will 100% write you one!!!!

to: miru ( @rosiesared ) subject: my fav yunjin stan

MIRUUUUU <3 i still cannot believe we’ve been friends for almost two years. you are genuinely one of the kindest people i know and one of the most genuine ones i know. you’re always there when i just wanna talk and ramble and we ramble together and i adore you for that 🥹 i remember us meeting and me being intimidated as fuck by you but u are the sweetest and have the most amazing personality 💖💖💖💖 i’m so proud of you always I LOVE U TO BITSSSSS

to: isai ( @solojihyo : @yosang ) subject: jihyo’s wife ( real !!! )

MY CLUMSY BLOB <3 hi my love!!! you are someone i love and hold so dearly to my heart <3 you’re someone i can talk to at my happiest and my worst, and you help me become a better version of myself. you’re so sweet and lovely and such a genuinely wonderful person and i appreciate you being in my life these past couple of years. i adore you!! love you sooooooo much my fav horanghae lover (btw i walked into a pole again yesterday. i didnt hurt myself dw) (also thank u for convincing me to download the cracked ps from the link you sent in the server) (i lov u)

to: michaela ( @mandu : @thefeelz ) subject: jennie’s loml

when you followed me i was so sure i was in a fever dream. i’m pretty sure i blinked at my screen like 200 times. ANYWAYS you are literally ,,,,, i think the only way to say this is so fucking cool . although we don’t talk a lot, seeing u on the dash is always a sure way to make me smile <3 i love youuuuu

to: zay ( @jeonwonwoo : @kimsdahyun ) subject: jeonghan’s bff

HI MY MOST BELOVED ZAY !!! over the last couple of months we’ve gotten sm closer and i just love hearing ab u talk about our fav sebongs and ps stuff && everything you’re passionate about. you’re genuinely one of the most fun and funny people i know and i adore you so much <3 love u love u love u jeonghans wife 💖💖💖💖 MY MOST AESTHETIC PRETTIEST QUEEN !!!!!

to: dana ( @lesseraive ) subject: chaewon = loml = the only girl ever

dana!!!! i still cannot believe its only been … a little more than a year? since we became mutuals 😭 you’re the best. i love shittalking w you, talking about our girls (jangchae) and how izone deserved and deserves better (we miss u izone) (u are forever) (never izgone) . you’re like an older sister to me and i feel like i can talk to you about anything. thank you for being here and being my friend, i love youuuu <3 jeonghyeon p01

to: elv ( @seokmins ) subject: seokmin’s pizza girl !

elvvvvv <3 tbh we’ve talked to about this before but i think the most funny part of our friendship is me not remembering how we met HSKFBSJSK i know that we were both mutuals in laws through isai but honestly it feels like we’ve been mutuals for like ….. ever. you are so sweet and lively it feels like we are just two sunshines together in a field of sunflowers whenever we talk 😭 you make me smile whenever you come up on the dash and you deserve all of the love in the entire world <3 sending my squishiest hugs your way! 💗

to: mini ( @venompinks ) subject: #1 blackpink lover

MINI MINI MINI !!!! hi beloved <3 tbh ive always seen u as like an older sibling to me. you have rhsi comforting vibe that just emulates love & support and i adore that. i love seeing ur creations && support towards ur favs (esp the pinks hehe) and ur so so so lovely!!!! sending u all the squishiest hugs in the whole wide WORLD !!!!!

to: theo ( @lovebitxx ) subject: chaer’s #1 <3

THEO THEO THEO THEO !!!!! i remember you following me during your lixblr era and feeling so :OOO bc that was pre gg blog and i was like wowowow bc all of your creations are so pretty 😭😭😭 im so happy we’ve gotten closer and u always make me smile and just seeing u on my dash and talking to u makes me so happyyyyy!! you’re so passionate about your favs and its always so nice to see you get excited about them ): i love youuuu so much 💗

to: daisy ( @svmit ) subject: juhyeon’s bf ( REAL ! )

MY DAISYYYYY i love you!!!! getting to know you have been soso fun and im so glad to know you 🥹🥹🥹 you’re genuinely so sweet and adorable and i want to squeeze u into the tightest hug 🫂 my fav lightsum && ptg stan 4ever!!!!! 💞💞💞

to: shreya ( @fawad-khan : @kiimtaehyung ) subject: tae’s wife & hyunjin’s gf 🎀🎀🎀

my most beloved shreya!!!!! hi akka i love u to the moon and back and beyond 💞💞💞💞 its kinda crazy to think a year ago we barely knew each other and now we’ve both celebrated our birthdays and waaaaaa it feels insane. i feel like. you’re genuinely someone i see as my older sister and i want to hug you so bad and. YEAAAA the momo to my sana i love youu <3 also thanks for teaching me that andrew garfield is a real person 😁 mwah

to: theo ( @toplines ) subject: best jeongyeon stan!!!!

HI MY LOVELIEST THEO!!!!! I ADORE U HEHE thank u for being one of the silliest most funny most genuine people in my life u are quite literally the kuromi to my melody, the jeongyeon to my sana and i lov u lots!!!!! u are the best ever and u deserve all the love and moreeee 💞💞💞💞 hehe ALSO U ARE THEEEE GFX ICON OF ALL TIME

to: lau ( @saerom : @127s ) subject: saerom’s biggest fan (real)

HI LAUUUUU hehe i know we havent been close for that long (i think we met in userps i dont even remember if im being honest) but you’ve always been someone i look up to. you have this ability to like. stay calm and handle difficult situations with ease and are so funny and fun to talk to!!!! ilu a lot and u are genuinely the sweetest ever <3333 also u are THEEEE URL QUEEN !!!!! never forget !!!!! hugs !!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

to: hales ( @3rachaas ) subject: changbins wife confirmed!!!

HALES HALES HALES HI !!! u are the funniest person ever actually genuinely seriously 100%ly (how many more adverbs can shri use,, more at ten) u are my east coast bestie and i love playimg games with u even if u win every single time 😓😓😓 ILY SOOO MUCH i wish i could hug u sososoososososo bad <////3 mwah!!!! also u are my fav 3racha stan 4ever (edit i hate tumblr ANYWAYS i miss our uno game nights can we have one again) (also hales edit era we miss u) (ilyilyilyilyily)

to: lee ( @komca ) subject: komcanation ‼️ mark’s wife

hi mother 😁😁 u are my favorite mark stan 😁😁 i lov u 😁😁 no in actuality i love u sm lee u are one of the most understanding kindest most funniest most amazing person ever u just. deserve all the love in the world!!!!! i love ur markisms and ur love for rnb and just how passionate u are about ur hobbies and interests!!!! adore u to the moon and back I LOVE U SMMMM HEHE MY ILICHIL LOVER IN CRIMEEEE 💜💜💜

to: naina ( @tutontawan ) subject: sakura’s wife 💞

sunshine wifey! HI MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER the hello kitty to my melo, kkura to my eunchae, gaeul to my wonyo, i adore u sooooo much u are quite literally my twin in every aspect and i love uuuuuu!!!!!! u are just the most sunshiney person to ever sunshine and never fail to make me smile and happyyyy I LOVE UUUUU MY FAV i cant wait to meet u one day <3

to: ace ( @ajusnice ) subject: my maknaez in crime <3

ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE HELLO HI my fav gose watching partner hehe <3 no but actually its kinda bizarre how we havent been friends for a year but it feels so much. longer idk 😓😓 thank u for being sososoaoao supportive u always make me laugh and whether its u berating me over using light mode or screaming over junshua its never a boring day when we talk 🥹 im glad to have u as my friend and ILYSM!!!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

i hope all of you had the happiest new years and hope that 2024 is our best years yet!!! love all of you sooooo much and thank you once again ♡♡♡♡♡

#shri talks ♡#milestones ♡#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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syd-djarin · 4 months

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Get to know me - tag game!

Thanks for the tag @janaispunk <3

1. Were you named after anyone?

Nope! But my siblings’ middle names are after aunts/uncles but not mine.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Thursday lol

3. Do you have kids?

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Basketball and softball - but I preferred basketball and was on a travel team. I stopped playing when I got cut from the middle school team. Talk about long lasting damage to the self-esteem!

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Not often, not really my vibe/personality but I appreciate good use of it

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

How they are interacting with the others around them. Up close or if someone is alone - facial details like wrinkles, little subtleties. I also look for/notice a ring on the left hand haha

7. What is your eye color?

Mostly brown with a ring of green so I usually just say hazel lol

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I love horror movies and I also love when movies have a happy ending… like if it doesn’t have a good conclusion I’m not watching LOL

9. Any talents?

A remarkable ability to overanalyze every aspect of my life and all my interactions

10. Where were you born?

Western North Carolina born and raised (you can take the girl out of Appalachia but you can’t take Appalachia out of the girl…)

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading and writing fanfiction and the occasional novel. Avid movie goer. Podcast and music girly. Also letting it linger

12. Pets?

My cat, Scully (named after Dana Scully). She has a bobtail and she’s the keeper of my heart. Attaching photos at the bottom :)

13. How tall are you?

My driver’s license says 5 foot 6.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Science and history (fuckin’ nerd)

15. Dream job?

Once upon a time my dream job was to do makeup for movies/tv, especially SFX. Now, probably research/conduct studies of some kind.

No presh tags (sry if u have already done this!): @katiexpunk @javipispunk @mrsmando @sp00kymulderr @softiedingo @ilovepedro @studioghibelli @djarins-cyare @joelsranchbaby @joelsgreenflannel @mermaidgirl30 @nerdieforpedro @joelswritingmistress @joelslegalwhre @beefrobeefcal @electriclasso @joelscowgirl @survivingandenduring @yorksgirl @halfbloodliz @archangelooo @joelalorian @pleiadianwitch @burntheedges @papipascaaaal

CAT PICS BELOW THE CUT:

#tag games #tag game #mutuals #moots #get to know the blogger #get to know me

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abetterdaaye · 3 months

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Weekly Tag Game

Thank you to @juliakayyy for tagging me 🥰

Name: Dana

Age? Not quite fine wine but a nice cheese

What kind of day is it? The horrors persist

When was the last time you ate? 6.5 hours ago

About how many hours of sleep did you get? ~5. Hoping for an early night tonight

Name one thing you could do to make your day better right now: A long, tight hug

Why are you not doing that thing? I live alone and am unattached and am… bleh

What are you going to do tonight to relax? I don’t know. I have a movie on while I’m working on lesson plans, though

What comfort food do you not eat often enough? Cornmeal porridge.

What's stopping you? I can make it but it’s not quite how my mom used to make so it doesn’t hit the same

Have you ever had a professional massage? I have. It’s been too long since my last one, actually

Have you eaten fruits and vegetables today? Do veggie straws count?

How much water have you had today? Maybe 4 sips… I know. I’m not doing well today.

Is there a self-care gadget you really want to buy? It’s not a gadget, per se. I want a sensory hammock that I can climb into and cocoon in on days like today

What is your favourite healthy snack? Homemade kale chips.

What is your favourite unhealthy snack? I’m currently hyperfixated on harvest cheddar SunChips

What is one thing you are going to start doing RIGHT NOW to take better care of yourself? I just took another sip of water

And to close, I want you to say one NICE thing to yourself that you really need to hear right now: One endeavor not being successful does not may you a failure. Keep going.

✨ Tagging @abundanceofnots @artofobsession @bi-panic-actually @bubblegumbarbie33 @cdt12345 @deakysgurl @danarenee101 @endometriosis @everwitch-magiks @fredless-george @fuckyeahheartst0pper @hella-cious @haunted-phantom-student @its-a-queer-thing @ifallonblackdays @jezzibelle89 @jrooc @krysmiss @kyrbs @lyricailove @littlechase21 @lupeloto @look-i-love-u @nyhmeriah @octoberscigarettes @palepinkgoat @pippin-katz @ririsasy @redwiccanrobin @steorie @twinklyylights @unabletocomply @violetmac @whatthebodygraspsnot @whatkindofnameisvolta @xninetiestrendx @you-are-so-much-better-than-that

#Wanna play a game?#Tag! You’re it!#Tag Game

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nismo-na-filmu-zaboga · 2 months

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@lostintheparsec thank you for the tagging me, you are lovely!! <3

rules: pick a song for every letter of your url and tag that many people

n - Not allowed - TV Girl

i - Između nas - Azra

s - Standing next to me - The Last Shadow Puppets

m - Mijenjam se - Haustor

o - Otok - Darko Rundek

n - No buses - Arctic Monkeys

a - A-Punk - Vampire Weekend

f - FOR YOUR LOVE - Maneskin

i - I can't quit you baby - Led Zeppelin

l - Love is a losing game - Amy Winehouse

m - Možda sam lud - Galija

u - Umazane misli - Joker Out

z - Zašto su danas devojke ljute - Idoli

a - Ain't no sunshine - Bill Withers

b - Boys don't cry - The Cure

o - Oh my love - John Lennon

g - Goli i bosi - Elemental

a - Abstract (Psychopomp) - Hozier

I'm tagging @serijski-samoubica ˇ@stranac-u-svemiru @itsintrovertedpotato @qospodar-prstenova @crveni-nar @ara-m1nta @amila @jazbina @dorinaskeksom (and honestly anyone who would like to participate should feel tagged <3)

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spookyserenades · 1 month

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Idk if I'm crazy or just kinky but the virgin JK for me makes some sense, let me elaborate and I apologize in advance for any error in religious beliefs I make, I don't have much knowledge about such

Idk if it's the writing or insinuation but we know that JK has some heavy chatolic and christianity background and references on him alongside his whole paranormal experience

But I can see him being a virgin bcs of his background, the whole chatolic and christian thing of keeping yourself pure by waiting until the marriage for to u know what, to not be see as impure and tainted in the eyes of god

We know JK didn't have a easy life, he didn't speak much about it but as far we know it wasn't a nice and calm life, maybe he grew up in a very heavy closed church/chatolic environment that educated the being a virgin thing

Ofc that could lead into some deep religious trauma for him but also it made him act the way he is now, full of tattoo's across the body, piercings, black clothes, smoking and paranormal influence but still a virgin.

Although his appearance, personality and the way he acts be considere as tainted, he's not totally impure bcs he is still a virgin

OMG. OMG

I LOVE THIS SM. THIS IS SUCH A WELL THOUGHT OUT THEORY I'M !!!!!!!!!!!!! As an ex-catholic, too, my monkey brain didn't even make the connection about the "before marriage" stuff.... I'm screaming. I'm really into that whole trope of losing faith and becoming the radical opposite. Jeongguk I would consider to be an agnostic kind of person, finding truth in all religions, but he keeps going back to the Christian sort of exorcism that we often see in movies/shows surrounding the paranormal. Ah!! I love it love it. This is a great theory and thank you for sharing it I'm giggling and thinking many Thoughts!!

Tipsy ask Dana anything hours 🍸

#drunkposting #trouvaille #asks #dana's thoughts

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morska--vila · 10 months

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Tag some of your favorite mutuals to let them know you love them and it's going to be okay! 💖💖💖

wow this is really cute 🥺 first of all, I love all of my mutuals, you guys bring me so much joy whenever I'm here and you all mean a lot to me

I'm really sorry if I forgot someone important (it happens to me a lot 💀), but know I love and appreciate all of you and I'm ultra grateful to have this safe space with all of you in it ❤️

first my bestest girl @day-trippin-dreamer, I love you so much, you're my soulmate and the one person that can pull me out of the deepest gutters with just a few words. you're the most amazing person I've ever met, you are smart, funny, capable, kind, compassionate, creative, humble, drop dead gorgeous and you just radiate positivity. you're so brave, I'm always amazed by your strength. my life would literally suck so much without you and I can't (and don't want to) imagine a single day without you in it for the rest of my life. I appreciate you so much and all of our conversations, whether we're joking, hoeing, thirsting, being silly or being serious, bring me so much happiness and I always feel so loved and worthy in your presence. I appreciate all the time and effort you consistently put into our friendship and how much time you've spent over the years on making me feel good about myself. you have the most uplifting spirit and I'm immensely jealous of anyone who gets to share space with you every day and I hope and pray every day that you're being treated nicely and appreciated the way you deserve to be. I am so sorry for being so difficult and stubborn sometimes and I thank you for still putting up with me and still being here. I promise to keep working on myself so I can be the kind of friend a sexy bitch like you deserves so we can finally meet and start checking off that to do list together. I feel so lucky and grateful that I get to call myself your friend and that I get to witness firsthand all of your success and achievements. I love you so much more than I can explain with words and I hope that I make you feel good because you don't deserve anything less. 🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗🩷💗

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands moja sestra 💗 first of all, thank you for tagging me in this, it made my heart so warm! you are such a kind and beautiful soul, you always go out of your way to make others feel good and I admire your endless positivity. you are so hot, your selfies and outfits are always fire. I love your creative mind and I feel so lucky and grateful to be your sestra ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@emometalhead girl, you just get me. I feel like I can tell you anything and you would understand. your friendship, reassurance and support over the years mean so much to me. you are as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside and I'm always in awe of you. despite life not always treating you kindly, you are still so positive, compassionate and cheerful. just like Alessia, you bring a lot of light into this world and we're all lucky to have you by our side 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

@glamourizedcocaine my dude, my bro, my og, the nikki to my tommy. never underestimate what your insane (affectionate) mind is capable of. you can do and achieve anything you want as long as you don't listen to other people's shitty projections of their own insecurity. you are so intelligent, brave, CRAZILY creative and talented, funny as hell, determined and smoking hot. your friendship means a lot to me and I've been so lucky over the years to be able to witness some of your ingenious AND dumbass ideas (duality of man am I right). I love you dude and I hope you're doing well. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

@ephyjeva sestro moja, ovnu moj ♈, hvala ti što me uvijek nasmiješ i razveseliš. sanjala sam neku noć da smo skupa išle na psihomodo 😭😭 možda se i ostvari jednog dana. sjećam se prvog puta kad smo imale neku prepisku u komentarima i bilo mi je tako toplo oko srca vidjet naš jezik na ovoj godforsaken app 😭 hvala ti za sve i nadam se da te mobitel dobro služi bumeru jedan 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

@ladyshandioftheendless shandi, my love, you are so fun, smart and creative, I love seeing you on my dash and your views are always so right, I always agree with everything you say. you are so awesome and I love reading your tags. I hope life is treating you nicely because you deserve it and I hope all the good things come your way 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

@stars-kiss-the-sky SKYYYY 💖 my beloved bee and shrek enthusiast. you're such a great person and you always have the most fun stories, your sense of humour had me on the floor on multiple occasions 😭 I really hope you're doing well and that Jackie and his dogs howled at the full moon the other day 😭😭💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

@jcferrero we haven't talked, but I enjoy seeing you on my dash and in my notes. your humour is unmatched, your tennis takes and blorbos superior and your tags exquisite 🤌 you seem very kind and I truly hope you're having the best week 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

@kodachromatics I love your sense of humour and your posts are always on point. we've talked briefly (in unfortunate circumstances sadly) and you seem like you have a very bright soul and I can sense your kindness through the screen. I hope you're doing well and I'm sending you hugs if you need them 😭🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

@fedalgaard we also haven't talked, but I love seeing you on my dash and in my notes, I really appreciate you being here and I love learning about cycling through your posts. you seem like the sweetest person overall and I'm wishing you an amazing week and i hope you're doing well 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

@born-to-lose you're so weird in the best possible way!! 😭😭 I love seeing your posts and selfies (and those fire fits) on my dash and I really love your sense of humour. you're really smart and creative, I admire your knowledge of languages and I love your music taste so much. hopefully today has been kind to you and I wish the rest of the week is too 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

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beps-brainrot · 1 year

Note

Any good fanfics you read recently? Can be just Sun & Moon, or SAMS related. Just braindump about some works so that I can dash and read them plz

Your art is gorgeous btw just thought I’d let u know

Ahh thank you, thank you! That's so nice of you to say, and I really appreciate it<3 Unfortunately, I haven't read many DCA fics, and even more unfortunate than that is I haven't been keeping up with the ones that I'm in the middle of. I'm also wanting to read more fics, so if anyone has any that they want to share about, please feel free to! Still, I'll take the opportunity to ramble a bit.

The most recent fics I've read: Missions Under the Sun by the wonderful and thorough @chaotikanvas. This is a fic based on @lavenoon's Accidentally Undercover AU, and it's such a satisfying read. You get to follow Sun's point of view as he finds himself in the frustrating predicament of being in love with you, his coworker, which he can't breach many boundaries with due to the nature of your jobs. It's such a perfect fic of pining with a capital P that portrays Sun's thoughts and feelings in an indescribably real way. Even if you aren't familiar with Lavenoon's story, this fic is still easy to understand and enjoy. And! As I understand it, Lavenoon has many things to read up on too. If Kanvas' piece is any indication, their stories are captivating and well worth a check out.

Thread Carefully also by Chaotikanvas. This is a red string of fate AU where fate has decided to screw over the poor reader. Basically, the reader has a form of automatonophobia, the fear of animatronics, and is tied to the DCA by the red string of fate. Neither parties can stray too far away from each other without the red string preventing them from leaving. This sets up the exploration of an interesting dynamic between the Attendants and the reader as they have to make do with their new and permanent(?) situation. The way the reader's deep distress and anxiety is portrayed is perfect as Kanvas has an excellent way of detailing a character's introspection. Right now, only one chapter is available, but in my opinion it's enough to hook you and get you invested in what's to come.

Fics I've fallen behind on and am sure you know about: Holler If You Need Us by the incredible @castercassette. It's the wild west, and Sun and Moon are outlaws who run circles around you, the Sheriff. What more could you want? You don't know you need it until you see it, and my love for Caster's work can never be fully expressed.

Solar Lunacy by the imaginative @bamsara. The favorite slow burn with a compelling story! Need I say more about it?

Celestial Omens also by Bamsara. "Get a boat," they said. "It'll be fun," they said.

Twin Animatronics With Too Much Time On Their Hands by the awesome @twinanimatronics. The longest 24 hours you'll ever experience. A very hurty hurt/comfort fic that's eventually greatly rewarding.

Lofi Beats to Capture Children to by the brilliant and meticulous @dana-chan-the-control-brain. Sun and Moon's turbulent relationship in this can be quite upsetting especially if you're like me, someone who only desires fluff and wholesomeness for the boys. However, Dana's characters and intricately woven story are so good that simply reading it is its own reward.

I Can't Handle it also by Dana-chan. A spin off fic about Dana's OC from Lofi and Twin Animatronics, Ted, otherwise known as Dadler. He is my favorite wet sandwich of a person. I can't help but resonate with his deep self-loathing and melancholy. I miss him. I seriously need to catch up on these fics.

#if i got dadler's name wrong i'll scream #i'm terrible i haven't read ANY sams fic waaahh #though my interest is piqued by your sams fic sinistershepherd👀#sorry this is not a super helpful answer fahkjsksaj #beps ask #i think i've overthought all this

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lifeofkaze · 4 months

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WIP Tag Game

Thank you loads for tagging @the-al-chemist. As you know, my files are.... extensive, let's say.

I didn't realise to what degree but oh boy. For the sake of brevity (lol) I summarised a couple but... see for yourself.

EDIT: I have a problem, jfc.

Fanfic

HPMA Snow Fun

A Lifetime of Adventures

All Adventures Big and Small

Spin-Offs

A Source of Balance

Ad Astra

A Bright Future

Crossroads

The Lesser of Two Evils

La Divina Commedia

(Dana) Fooled

(Dylan) Birthday

(Murphy) The Apprentice

(Orion) Starry Starry Night

(Reva) Marry You

(Ava) Burning Glances, Turning Heads

(Dylan) The Swift, the Comet, and the Shooting Star

July - U Make Me Wanna

Cherry Red

All the following concern my other blog @kaze-writes

Original

Icarus

Chatty Haunting Short WIP

From Depths So Dark

Lemons

Vampires

Smoke and Mirrors

Larger than Life

Memento Mori

New Horizons

Dinner thoughts

Ava Shorts (Invincible, Slow Love Slow, Burn)

Selene x Henry (yes, this files as original)

Untitled

(OG) I Remember

(OG) The Poet

(OG) The Cat and the Cardboard Box

(OG) The Things We Do for Love

(October) By the Light of the Moon

OG Chocolate Pudding Bear

When Stars Ignite

Infra-Red

No Words

California Dreamin'

Talia Rath Rockstar

The Pretender

The Sound of Silence

Never Have I Ever

WSI (the actual story)

Flashback Scene, All Summer Long

Part 1: London

Part 2: Birmingham

Part 3: Manchester

Part 4: Dublin

Part 5: Glastonbury

Rewrite Doc

When Stars Ignite (full + fanfic version)

When Stars Ignite (og master doc)

WSI Summary

Since all the usual subjects have been tagged already, tagging whoever fancies playing, but also @hphmmatthewluther @endlessly-cursed @usernoneexistent and @lavender-laney

#tag game #writing game #writers of tumblr #fanfic writing #original writing #wip list #LONG wip list #let me tell you people #my google docs is a maze #but what's new right?#also lol I don't even follow as many people as I have WIPs #that's a problem in itself xD

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baronessblixen · 1 year

Note

So I know you don’t do ficmas but if you want to write from time to time this month I have this combo : Christmas + Sick Mulder in a fic

Love u ✨

Been meaning to write this for ages! thank you for the prompt. So Mulder isn't exactly sick but he's injured - and that's why Scully can't leave him alone and has to bring him to her mother's Christmas party! Wc: 2,187.

Tagging @today-in-fic

Christmas With The Scullys

“What is he doing here?” Frothing at the mouth, her brother Bill regards her and Mulder with narrow eyes. His bark has always been worse than his bite, but Scully tightens her grip on her partner’s bicep anyway. Today of all days, Mulder doesn’t need to deal with this. She didn’t give him any choice. It was either him accompanying her to her mother’s Christmas party, or her staying behind with him, missing family time. A cheap shot on her part, but desperate times and all.

“I couldn’t leave him on his own,” she explains. Next to her, Mulder is quiet. She can only imagine how much pain he’s in. They shouldn’t stand here longer than necessary, but Bill is still blocking the door. “Would you please let us in? Unless you want Mulder to pass out because you will have to carry him inside if he does.” Bill practically jumps out of the way and Scully leads Mulder inside, a hand on his back.

“There you are.” Her mother walks out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. “Oh, Fox,” she says, touching his arm. “I heard you’re not well.” A loud snort comes from the direction of the living room. Scully rolls her eyes. Bill Jr. wouldn’t dare say anything in front of their mother, no matter how much he dislikes Mulder.

“I hit my head,” Mulder says, nevertheless smiling at her mother and shaking her hand. That, however, is not enough for her. She draws him close and gives him a bear hug. “I’ll be fine, Mrs. Scully,” he says, his voice muffled.

“Mom, Mulder needs rest,” Scully says and her mother nods, but doesn’t let go of him. “Can he- it’s too noisy down here.”

“I made up your bed.” Finally, Mulder is free. Scully sees him sway and grabs his arm. He needs to lie down and quickly. She doesn’t need him passing out and making his concussion even worse. Her fingers dig into his arm and he winces. She mouths an apology and he sighs, his shoulder bumping against her own head.

“My bed,” she says, just to clarify. She hears a clatter from behind her and doesn’t need to turn around to know that Bill is there and listening.

“With the whole family coming,” her mother explains, “there’s limited space.”

“I can sit in the car,” Mulder says, turning to Scully.

“No,” both Scully and her mom say in unison. Behind them, Bill snickers. Scully whirls around and glares at him. At least he has the audacity to blush in embarrassment.

“My bed is fine. It’s… I was just- let’s get you upstairs, Mulder.”

“Do you need any help, Dana?” Her mother asks and she shakes her head no.

“Thank you, mom. I’ve got it.” She can feel her family’s eyes on her back as she leads Mulder up the stairs. They’re walking slowly, taking every step deliberately.

“I’m sorry,” Mulder mumbles when they’re at the top. He sounds out of breath and his eyes are glassy when he looks at her.

“This isn’t your fault, Mulder.”

“Isn’t it?” She steers him towards her bedroom, momentarily distracted by the fact that he’s here. He’s been to her mother’s house before and she’s shown him all of the rooms, but this is different. He’s in her room. And he’s going to sleep in her bed. Where she will most likely sleep, too, later tonight.

“Sit there,” she says softly, pushing him towards her bed. He does as told, letting his eyes wander around her room. “How are you feeling?” She asks, helping him out of his jacket. “Does your head hurt?”

“Hmm,” he says, still taking in his surroundings. “Dizzy,” he adds.

“Stop looking around,” Scully scolds him with a smile.

“This is your room,” he says.

“I know it is.”

“It’s pretty. Ouch.” He sighs. “I really am sorry, Scully. For being here.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” she says, her voice shaky. She means every word. She knows Mulder probably doesn’t remember or only remembers half of it. He might never recall how he sustained his concussion but she does. And she can’t get the pictures out of her head. Scully takes a deep breath and focuses on Mulder, who is looking up at her with tired eyes and pouty lips.

“Next year I’ll make sure you get to spend Christmas with your family. It’s a promise. It’s my Christmas gift. I need to tell your mom, too,” he says, trying to get up. Scully stops him. “And your brother. I know he hates me.”

“Mulder, stop.” She keeps her hands on his shoulder. “I’m giving you something for your headache and then I need you to rest. I will come check on you every 30 minutes. Okay?”

“I want you to spend Christmas with your family,” he says as Scully hands him the pills and a glass of water.

“I am spending time with them. We’re at my mother’s, remember?” He nods slowly, taking the pills she gave him. “Now please lie down.”

“You don’t hate me,” he says, already sounding drowsy.

“I don’t hate you,” she assures him, leaning close to him. The combination of disinfectant and his very own Mulder scent brings tears to her eyes. Very gently she runs her fingers through his hair, making sure to stay clear of the bump on his forehead and the small, barely there cut.

“That’s good,” he mumbles, his eyes closing. “I don’t hate you either, Scully.” With that, he’s asleep. Scully watches him for another moment, covers him with a blanket, and leaves the room. She sets an alarm on her phone to check on Mulder in half an hour before she joins her family downstairs.

“But why is he here?” It’s Bill Jr. again. This time he’s lamenting to their mother and his own wife, who are both busy baking cookies. A few children smile at Scully, all red-headed and cute, with apple-round cheeks and big eyes. She smiles back at them, sticks her tongue out at little Matthew, who claps his flour-covered hands, making himself and one of his cousins sneeze. The adults don’t even notice.

“He’s here because he’s your sister’s partner.”

“Partner,” Bill grumbles.

“He is,” Scully chimes in, crossing her arms over her chest. “And he’s hurt. What was I supposed to do? Leave him all by himself?”

“Doesn’t he have his own family? Or do they not want him there either?”

“Bill Jr.!” Their mother doesn’t raise her voice often. When she does, they all know to keep their mouths shut. “Fox is a guest in our house. I want you to respect that.”

“I’m just gonna say hello to everyone else,” Scully says, needing to get away from her brother. She checks the time and stares up the stairs, worry for Mulder running through her veins. As much as she tries to focus on her family and the relatives she hasn’t seen in so long, her thoughts are on Mulder.

“Dana, there you are.” Scully stops, turning to look at one of her aunts walking towards her with a smile and a glass of eggnog in her hand. “It’s so good to see you.”

“You too, aunt Sylvia.”

“Your mother said you were coming and then Bill said we shouldn’t get our hopes up.”

“I’m here,” Scully says with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. Anger bubbles up inside of her like lava. “I’m, um, my work is unpredictable sometimes.”

“That’s what your mother said, too, dear. I’m glad you’re here. And I hear you brought your partner?” Her aunt’s face lights up. Another aunt, who must have heard the word partner, saunters over, followed by more and more nosy relatives.

“I did,” she says, trying to bring some distance between herself and the swarming crowd. “He hurt himself and couldn’t stay on his own.”

“When are we going to meet him?” Someone, who Scully assumes is one of her mother’s neighbors, wants to know.

“Tomorrow,” she says. “He should be better tomorrow.” That’s her hope anyway. If not, they might have to go back to the ER. “I should actually go check up on him. Excuse me.” A sigh escapes her as she walks away, the chatter growing quieter. She loves her family and she loves the noise. But right now, she wants to be with Mulder, make sure he’s okay.

“You really don’t want to spend time with us, do you?” Bill is waiting for her in front of her bedroom, looking just like he did back when they were teenagers and he didn’t approve of something she was doing. Which was all the time. Back then, he might have intimidated her from time to time, but not anymore.

“What are you doing?” She asks him. The door to the bedroom is open and she catches a glimpse of Mulder, still blissfully asleep.

“Is he that important to you?”

“Yes.” She doesn’t have to think about it. The word is out before Bill has even closed his mouth. He’s staring at her as if she were a riddle he has to solve before he can keep going.

“What is it about him? Why does he have to be here?”

“What would you say if someone – if I – asked you that about Tara?” Bill recoils as if she just slapped him.

“Don’t compare my wife to that- to him. Is he that important to you?” His voice softens slightly and she looks up at him, seeing conflict in his face. He’s just a big brother, looking out for his baby sister. Her mood softens and her shoulders sag in defeat.

“He is,” she says, admitting it to him – and to herself. “He’s important to me, Bill. And more than that, he needed someone tonight. He- do you know how he got his concussion? He was protecting people, Bill. Thanks to Mulder people got to go home and be with their families tonight because he didn’t care for his own well-being, only theirs. That’s who he is.”

“I didn’t know,” Billy says, shuffling his feet and clearing his throat. “Maybe… maybe I can be nice to him while he’s here. It’s Christmas after all.”

“Thank you, Bill.” They hug each other, Scully smiling against his shoulder. “I missed you, you know.”

“Well, whose fault is it we hardly ever see each other?” She glares at him and he nods in apology. “You’re right, you’re right. I’m glad you could make it, Dana. Even if that guy is here with you.”

“That guy has a name.”

“He’s gonna be that guy to me,” Bill says and the siblings smile at each other.

“I’ll be down in a second. I’m just going to check on Mulder.” She waits until Bill has gone back downstairs to enter her bedroom. Calm overtakes her seeing Mulder there. In her bed. That’s something they will have to deal with later. For now, she sits by his side, gently shaking his shoulder. His eyes open and he cracks a smile.

“Was wondering when you’d show up,” Mulder says.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired. My head is killing me.”

“It’s gonna hurt for a while.”

“Worth it,” he says, yawning.

“You could have died out there, Mulder,” she says quietly.

“Better me than you and a dozen other people.”

“Not better for me,” she says, touching his cheek. There’s the slightest hint of stubble there and it gives her goosebumps. “Don’t do something this reckless again, okay?”

“I’d promise, but…” He grins at her. No, he can’t promise her that. If he did, he’d be lying. They both know that. Her hand is still on his cheek, her thumb caressing him. Seeing him here, she’s reluctant to leave his side.

“I think you told Bill you’d be right down.”

“I- what?” Her fingers still on his face. “Did you hear us fight?”

“You and Bill weren’t exactly quiet, Scully. And by the way, you’re important to me, too. Very important.” The smile slips from his face and is replaced by an earnest look. With Scully too shocked to reply, Mulder just keeps going. “I know you didn’t mean for me to overhear it. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I just wanted you to know. This is not the drugs talking, by the way.” His grin returns and she can’t help herself but smile back.

“Let me be the judge of that,” she whispers. “Now go back to sleep. I will check on you in half an hour.”

“Make it an hour.”

“Mulder.”

“Scully, go spend time with your family. I’ll be fine. How am I supposed to rest if you wake me up every five minutes?”

“An hour. Not one minute longer.”

“That’s my Scully.” He closes his eyes and Scully leans forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Sleep well,” she whispers.

She’s almost to the door when Mulder says, “hey Scully?” She turns to him, leaning against the door frame. “Is there mistletoe downstairs?”

“You will have to find that out for yourself tomorrow,” she says, grinning.

“Can’t wait.”

And neither can she.

#i was determined to finish this today #i hope it doesn't feel rushed #i wanted to write more christmas fic #but life's life #msr #xf fanfic #my writing #my fic

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