#That Watanuki made him cry

[completeoveranalysis]

[5]

THE CONSISTENCY. 

Watanuki we love you for it. 

Doumeki’s unimpressed reaction is a gift to the world. A global treasure. A timeless gift. 

But I mean like Watanuki didn’t CAUSE the fight last time by any means. He’s hardly at fault for spacing out for a split second and a GROWN ADULT attacking him with boiling water. 

Then again maybe Doumeki is just expecting to call his bluff.

#He IS expecting the Final Moment after all #Or maybe he doesn’t agree with the implication #That Watanuki made him cry #Which is ADORABLE #it’s ok Doumeki just sideeye him you can do it #Bombastic Side eye #Criminal offensive side eye #not liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #xxxholic #xxxholic 78 #Watanuki #Doumeki #Also THAT SHADOW like ok ok ok Clamp what are you doing #whats going on here #Is something spooky happening or is this a metaphor #is Watanuki over correcting himself too far #Is he chanelling Sakura a little too much in the moment #or is Doumeki catching on to something we just arent aware of yet

[damnhitsuzen]

New chapter!

Chapter 5: Time

This is the last chapter I have completely done, now I'll have to finish the next one before posting. Soooo shit has started to hit the fan, guys.

You will need CD Drama Shiritsu Horitsuba Gakuen 4 ~Ohiru no Radio: Afureru made Mattenai~ in this chapter. It's so innuendo-ed with all the finger-talk and husky voices, it's ridiculous. And I can bet whatever that Watanuki WAS is a prank with Yuuko for two reasons: a) he's not innocent in that clueless Syaoran way, in xxxholic Yuuko teases him with flirty/sexual undertones about others all the time and he reacts, flusters, or chastises her, because he GETS every innuendo and dirty joke. There was NO WAY he would innocently say all that finger stuff by chance and not die from embarrassment second later. b) at the end students say that Yuuko made them keep silent about Kurogane's voice, but puuuhhleease, when did that stop Watanuki? He has no problem with teasing Yuuko in front of customers, he cuts her alcohol to make a point. Watanuki would never give in to Yuuko's whim, if it is something that he doesn't truly approve of. He would shout his opinion proudly at her face, fully risking it to be completely destroyed by her in following moment (as usual). That's why we love our boy and that's why he had to be a part of a prank. And really, Yuuko wouldn't wire the room herself, would she? That's what she has Watanuki for.

Also Watanuki's friendship with Kurogane is something I had in mind from the very beginning, even before I got reacquainted with Horitsuba. They are just too similar in a way they react to people and event, so this friendship felt totally natural for me. Imagine my surprise, when I got to this part, when Kurogane is genuinely angry for Watanuki and how Yuuko teases him. CLAMP ladies are with me on this!

The song in this chapter is the perfect embodiment of anxiety one might have before something really bad happens. Also if never seen the music video with gorgeous Rosamund Pike, do watch! It's magnificently creepy. The sheer horror, helplessness in face of overpowering unnatural force - it's what inspired me to write the disappearing radio room act.

I really enjoyed writing this chapter, though it wasn't easy. Hope that you'll like and if you did - please consider writing a comment, I'm dying for those. Really, I'll probably cry from happiness if I find out someone liked this chapter.

#fanfiction #clamp #xxxholic #trc #watanuki kimihiro #horitsuba #new chapter #fic update #ao3 fanfic #different directions

[badlydrawndrawnings]

my decision to watch the xxxholic movie (i found one with subs, and i think it’s accurate) has me all mess up on the inside.

because like, it’s not a straight up adaptation (very much like the live-action drama from years ago). and some parts i do miss from the og anime/manga. like the one-side hate going on steaming from wakanuki’s end regarding his and doumeki’s relationship, the whole ‘customer of the week’ going on with the shop, the cameos of other xxxholic characters or lack of cameos, the comedy of wakanuki having to be the servant boy being a foot-note)

yet somehow, they still manage to get the important stuff as well (that’s not just the aesthetics they got it mostly down and it rocks)

the bittersweetness with watanuki and himawari relationship that can’t be in like, anything matter. seriously, himawari’s speech in her goodbye got me tearing up because always, she deserves much better.

the fact doumeki is forever loyal and devoted to watanuki, helping him out without even being prompted? like, that bow-and-arrow scene near the ending? him still deciding to hang out with watanuki and help with the shop?

that final scene with watanuki and yuuko?? like hello??? the movie straight up kept the spirit of that moment from xxxholic and made it worse?! because this time around, watanuki is just a close-off depressed teenager who isn’t (un)intentionally part of some crazy plot, who found people he’s finally close with? and one person he gotten close to him since his mother died, dies to save him (and like, the world???)

that scene got crying, because this time around, watanuki accepts it. yuko won’t come back for good. no need to wait for her to show up (even in a dream telling him it’s okay to leave the shop).

all in all, it’s something i would recommend watching.

#xxxholic #xxxholic movie #xxxholic 2022 #watanuki kimihiro #yuuko ichihara #himawari kunogi #shizuka doumeki #spoilers #ending spoilers #major spoilers #will i watch it again? no idea! #probably not if i can't find the movie again with subs #this is a text post

[ellayuki]

we're all made of glitter and nightmares (and baby, we thrive)

Tsubasa Chronicle Month 2023

- Day 6: xxxHolic

~

The day Doumeki marries Kohane, Watanuki opens a bottle of saké at seven in the morning (and tells himself, like the lying liar he is, that it's in celebration, because surely he'll see less of the bastard now), the small gift box he's prepared and never got around to actually giving away sitting almost ostentatiously in the middle of the small, low table by his divan. 

Mokona, Maru and Moro are… somewhere around the shop, making themselves scarce, though Watanuki doesn't get why. It's not like he's upset. He has no reason to be. 

Sure, he pities poor Kohane-chan for getting saddled with an oaf for a husband, and sure, he's maybe a touch bit sad that, despite that, he can't see what a beautiful bride she'll make. 

But other than that, Watanuki is fine.

(The bottle's empty in half an hour. The second one is already a third empty by the time eight a.m. rolls around.)

He's just about ready to sink into sleep, perhaps take a stroll through some dream if he can manage it, when the front doors open and his name's being called.

…That can't be right, he thinks, blinking against the languid haze he's been enjoying. He shouldn't be here. 

"Watanuki?" comes the second call, and yes, alright, he's getting up because apparently it's not really a hallucination. 

He goes into the shop's genkan, and stops in the doorway.

"Oh," slips out between numb lips.

Doumeki and Kohane stand just inside the doors, both dressed impeccably in traditional wedding attire, both looking at Watanuki with clear determination in their eyes. 

(And oh, how Watanuki loves them.)

"What are you doing here?" he asks when he feels like he can breathe again. "You should be getting married right about now. Or did I remember the time wrong?" He didn't. He knows he didn't. So why-

Doumeki snorts (and Watanuki wants to bristle at the exasperation in the noise), but it's Kohane who speaks, voice soft. "You can't come to the wedding. So we decided to come and see you."

"Kohane-chan… You shouldn't have…" 

"You're an idiot," Doumeki says, letting go of Kohane's hand and walking up to Watanuki. He pokes him between the eyebrows (because even on his damn wedding day Doumeki makes it a point of being a pain in Watanuki's ass), and then again for good measure. "As if we wouldn't. You'd cry."

Watanuki does bristle then, because he absolutely would not. 

He huffs, pushing Doumeki's hand away from his face. "Wait here," he tells them before stepping back into his salon and picking up the small lacquered box.

Then he walks back out into the entryway and pushes the gift into Doumeki's chest. "Here. Your wedding gift. Now go get married. I'm sure your families and the other guests are waiting and wondering where you ran off to."

"Watanuki," Doumeki starts, and there's something on his face, something in his voice that has something in Watanuki's chest clenching painfully. No. You can't. You can't. It's already…

Watanuki shakes his head, just a bit, and the faintest smile graces his lips. "Your bride's waiting. Kohane-chan," he turns his attention to the young woman that's finally joined them. He hugs her. "You're beautiful. I'm thankful I got to see you."

Kohane returns the hug, her lower lip trembling ever so slightly. "I wish you could have been there with us."

"I know. But things are the way they're supposed to be."

"I still hate it."

"I know."

"Shizuka-kun does, too."

Watanuki opens his eyes on a sigh. Yes. "I know." And so do I.

#tsubasachroniclemonth #xxxholic #watanuki kimihiro #doumeki shizuka #tsuyuri kohane #watadou #doumeki x kohane #clamp #by moi #fic #my fic #2023 fic #trcfic #holicfic #on ao3

[dragon-seahorse]

Top 10 more anime (I may or may not be trying to get a watch list together)

All good bro I got you!~ I've watched a lot in my time so 10 anime part two Electric Boogaloo!!!

Welcome to demon School Iruma kun!(iruma and deku are my sons i love them so much)

2. The case Study of Vanitas (Steampunk vampires makes my brain go brr)

3. Brand New Animal (yes it's a furry anime but it's so good and the opening SLAPS)

4. That time I got reincarnated as a slime(only watched season 1 but Rimuru is my favorite and I WILL cosplay him one day)

5. Noragami (Yato is my fave and I love he)

6. Kaguya-Sama:Love is War! (Openings slap and this is a good comedy anime)

7. Anime Gataris (My beloved it's an animr about anime and I love this one so much)

8. xxxHolic (Watanuki,Watanuki born on April 1st! 8D...I have never gotten this out of my head but Watanuki is best boy and I love he)

9. Assassination Classroom (I watched it both Dub and Sub but never finished sub cause the ending made me cry qwq i loved it so much)

10. Disgaea (Laharl my precious angy demon bunny child he never failed to make me laugh in the anime and even though it's a much shorter version of the game it's a lot of fun)

There ya go!! If ya need more reccomendations or even manga ones I'm more than happy to share^^

[deeryloo]

not me crying like a baby at 7:30 am about this beautiful and terrible love triangle of pain. it fucking kills me how in love doumeki is with watanuki. that he has to constantly face watanuki’s affections for others. and of course he knows watanuki cares for him too, but it’s like they’re both backed into this corner with how they can show their care. especially this arc, which is so much about how we cook to show love. it’s pretty named at this point that watanuki’s food is his love manifested, that he makes it for doumeki (and others) for a reason, that doumeki eats it voraciously for a reason. this is how they express their love, in the making and the consuming, and it hurts as a reader so much.

and then we add himawari to this mix. cooking for the first time in TEN YEARS after all this talk about food as a way to know someone, and to know yourself. and doumeki acknowledging, I’m only here to protect you from her. i know she made these for you, not me; I know her act of love is for you and could hurt you, and I KNOW that isn’t her fault. so I’m here specifically to facilitate your ability to take her love into your body without that love poisoning you. and even though I’m sitting here knowing what it means for you and her that she cooked for YOU, your happiness is more important than my ego. so eat her food. indulge her love. I’ll keep you safe.

now let’s just take doumeki out of it and think about watanuki and himawari. my friend and I were talking about watanuki’s confession of love for her after he goes out the window, and we both agreed watanuki says it because they both know nothing can come of it. he says it as a goodbye of sorts. your very nature will kill me, so we cannot be together. but I still need you to know in no uncertain terms that I love you. and I feel like every interaction since has been them recovering from the fact that they could never be together. Idk if himawari was interested in watanuki romantically, but either way he finally named his feelings directly to her, at the exact moment they both understood that their dynamic had to change. and i can’t imagine how terrible it must be for himawari to know that her attempts at affection for watanuki of any kind (eg her cookies) could hurt him. and further that even if they COULDNT hurt him, he still can’t appreciate them fully. like...watanuki has come to understand love through food, and he can’t even fucking hold on to the taste of it.

and it breaks my heart to see him have to tell himself even if he can’t remember how her cookies taste, his body will remember. all this talk about body memory, body memory as more lasting than mental memory, body memory as a person’s fail safe for holding onto love. i don’t remember you, I don’t remember what you made or did for me, but my body remembers you. even though I know I won’t hold on to this taste, my body will hold on to the fact that you love me, and that’s enough.

and every one of watanuki’s loved ones has to witness it. he’s so fucking sad at this point in the story. he’s losing his grip on reality, he thinks everything he does may just be a dream, he’s realized he can’t remember his childhood, yuuko has disappeared, his cooking student is bringing up all this other shit. and doumeki and kohane and himawari just have to witness it. i mean, doumeki is LIVING with watanuki at this point so he won’t be alone in yuuko’s shop, I just—

I’ll stop there, because doumeki’s behavior at this point in the manga is a post on its own, and my main point is how tragically in love everyone is with watanuki, and how much pain they’re all in watching him suffer.

#xxxholic #douwata #my thoughts

[the-musical-cc]

 The Anotherholic novel has quite some tidbits of randomness that I sadly haven’t seen anyone commenting so here I go (And keep in mind I don’t know how much you can rely on this one as it was written by someone other than CLAMP? But it seems they were involved.) :

Yuuko mentions ‘English gentlemen are the most honorable ones out there, they’d never be up to anything suspicious’ which is funny considering the one British guy she’s shown to know is precisely the opposite.

She’s also apparently really good at breaking codes- not magically, either. There is also something to how she’s apparently a really fast texter but in ‘Rou’ Watanuki says pressing the keys gets on his nerves, like- it’s funny the senior of them is better with tech than the junior.

She’s CONSTANTLY MAKING PUNS (They’re untranslatable most of the time but still.) much to Watanuki’s chagrin. You don’t understand, Yuuko making silly puns that make Watanuki want to murder is one of my favorite headcanons.

Watanuki can sense when people are having rude thoughts about him. It’s for comedic effect, I think but there ARE some hints to his sealed powers being still present in aspects where they’re there to warn him of things that could be bad for him, so it may be part of that (Which makes the whole thing with Himawari so much more WORSE.) 

Going back to the rude thoughts- he usually pins it on either Yuuko or Doumeki.

Apparently, at one point Watanuki lost all of what he’d fared in Yuuko’s shop thanks to his big mouth- he made a gamble that if shiritori ever saved his life, he’d happily give away what he’d earned thus far.

Yuuko keeps calling him ‘My Watanuki’. (Not sure if it’s a different translation from the ‘Our Watanuki’ used in the manga to imply his ‘Belonging’ to the shop, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fucking melt.)

She also calls him ‘My adorable Watanuki’ but I’m not sure how serious she’s being there.

The single best exchange between them, hands down: ‘Now you’re starting to scare me.’ ‘I exist to scare you’.

There’s this joke I’m not sure I understand where she says two times in a row that she ‘Won’t give him a raise’, but the second time ‘Raise’ is in italics and my perv ass mind immediately went to the gutter. Looking up the word for ‘Raise’ and whether it had alternate meanings didn’t help much as it apparently has a ton, ranging from ‘To give someone an updo’ to ‘To bear a child’ going through ‘To fry’. In any case it seems like she’s implying something improper. Watanuki’s reaction being that he’s uncomfortable she’s making it sound ‘Real’ makes me lean towards that even more.

Yuuko owns a ten-gallon hat... and wears it indoors. To lay around on her sofa.

Apparently, the reason she smart-mouths him so much is she doesn’t want him to get a big head- which if we consider how powerful he’ll become in the future, is not entirely a bad call.

Another exchange ‘If I am forced to eat something besides flowing somen today, I may well die.’ ‘Glad to hear it.’ Kid. KID. I don’t know if the writer knew back then where this was going but oof those words are gonna haunt you.

Watanuki vowed to himself never to become like her at some point. I can’t tell if it’s more sad or funny.

The ‘Aerosol’ chapter of the novel is where the thing about his dislike of Doumeki on first sight being because the spirits were influencing his mood and keeping him away from the one thing that could help him draw them away came from. I’d seen that mentioned by fans before but wasn’t sure where it had come from. Though in terms of his character and furthermore the ‘Curse’ placed on him by Fei Wong , it made sense for Watanuki to reject someone that might save him and be attracted to someone that might kill him instead, so I accepted it.

There’s also a thing about how his beef with Doumeki is ‘He has what Watanuki wants and doesn’t have what Watanuki doesn’t want.’ but that one sounds like he’s just rationalized the visceral reaction.

‘Had he ever felt that keenly about anyone? He had good friends, and he had a family. He had a girl he liked. But were his feelings for them so powerful that he would make them into ghosts if they died? He might have eyes that could see spirits. But that did not mean they could see who was important to him.’ OK nevermind the writer KNEW.

Add ‘You think I’d be involved in anything GOOD?’ to the golden Yuuko quotes list.

Also apparently Watanuki thinks if he were to stop coming to the shop she’d starve. She does make a comment to that effect earlier on so he’s not entirely being sarcastic.

For a moment there, Watanuki thinks he’s paid enough to be able to stop working for Yuuko and just like in my wildest fanfiction dreams, he’s not happy.  He gets sad that he’s never going to see her again and that he couldn’t even get to thank her, feed her one last time and say goodbye properly and can you tell I’m dead? ‘cause I am. 

In the same instance, he finds he no longer finds Doumeki repellent and getting to know him better sounds like ‘A dandy idea’. Which I guess is because this seems to be timed BEFORE the ghost lady that made him sick and they aren’t really all that close just yet. Otherwise I think he’d try to stick to status quo a bit more.

The fact that he sees spirits bothers and terrifies Watanuki not because of the spirits themselves but because it makes him different from everyone else and he DESPERATELY wants to feel he belongs. Am I crying? Yes.

Around the end, it seems to also be the first instance where Watanuki asks Yuuko if there is any wish he wants him to grant for her. Followed by her asking jokingly (Or not?) if this is his first step in a campaign to take the shop from her?. Um. Ouch.

Also, Yuuko hints at Watanuki’s wish of losing the ability to see spirits ultimately not making him happy if it’s granted. Which we now know is probably right.

#xxxholic #CLAMP #Yuuko Ichihara #Kimihiro Watanuki #anotherholic

[kulluto]

Yuuko is such a great character bc like she seems to rarely take things seriously until she says smth cryptic and/or deep and then you realize her silliness is very much a front she keeps up for various reasons and despite loving to give Watanuki a hard time, she genuinely cares about him and wants him to be happy

YOU’RE SO RIGHT.. that scene where they hugged literally made me cry like i always knew she cared about him but to see her hug him was A Lot to handle emotionally

#i HATE that i know how this is going to end ☹️ #💌

[filliteapot]

I'm going to use this part of what you said in a previous answer that made me really curious "the way of the authors to tell the story is another matter" to know your top 5 (or ~10) of that :)

Ah :D I guess the easier way to put it would be “This time I chose my favourite styles basing on art style mostly, but if I were to choose my fav storytelling/mix of art and how authors tells it/what they want to transmit, the odrer/the list would be different” :”) So some authors/stories on the list of my fav storytelling (not sure if it's the right term for what i mean but let's use this) are the same I put in the previous list. The titles and authors won’t be surprise for you, but I’ll list them anyway. Warning: I love talking about such things a lot, so I suddenly wrote a lot.

(Ask me my top 5-10 anything)

1. Literally anything by Takaya Natsuki. You have no idea how #tired I am of all the discussions about both adaptations of her Furuba (which is better which is worse no listen to me bc I Have an Opinion of High Authority) when not a single adaptation quite got her style in storytelling, foreshadowing and especially presenting her characters’ personal drama. I think I espcially love her for not throwing it all in your face right away, being careful at hinting at things (so that you don’t quite get some parts of the characters’ thoughts and inner struggles until you learn the facts and it hits you) and for leaving you some space to use your own brain what you think about this or that storyline. (Tamura Yumi does it too which makes her my second fave author). Also, years after reading and rereading her works I see better how storylines are entwinted and unfolding, and it still makes me yell “HOW does she do it” every time I go back to Furuba and her other works and see something new. I love her Hoshi wa Utau (which hits hard and is painfully real in the matter of parents/children’s conflicts), and Liselotte to majo no mori (darkish fairytale with hopeful messages) and wish more people knew about them too, not only Furuba.

2. Kouno Fumiyo’s Yunagi no Machi Sakura no Kuni. I first read this manga a long time ago and was dying of happiness when it got published in my country bc oh my gosh. It’s a historical thing, it’s a heavy thing, she does have such unique style (my first thought was ”ah looks cute, like children books illustrations” and then it killed me) and approach to place panels on pages or transitions between scenes or past and present (I think some comic researcher or smth even called it innovative). The page that struck me the most was a spread near the end of this story, presenting a character in his older years sitting on the beach of a river in Hiroshima and him in the same place right after the war. Perhaps it doesn’t sound so original but this work and these two pages live rent free in my soul to this day.

3. Ando Yuki’s oneshots (and Machida-kun). She is my favourite short stories author, she just knows how to tell it so that I got tuned in from the start. Be it a school slice of life or basically Edith Piaf’s song Hymne à l'amour presented in the form of manga oneshot, they give me immense joy. And oh, there’s almost always a twist near the ending I can’t predict. Her characters act a bit weird and take weird decisions sometimes but I think it’s what makes them feel so real to me.

And it’s cheating, but while I’m talking about oneshots, I want to mention Midorikawa Yuki and her shorter-than-Natsume stories. Because they give me a similar feeling to Ando’s oneshots - the atmosphere is different, but the way they touch my heart is the same. Don’t get me wrong, I love Natsume and its structure (main characters and their personal jouney through unrelated stories of other people/not humans), but I love Midorikawa’s shorter stories much more.

4. Takamatsu Misaki’s Skip to Loafer. One of the best slice stories I’ve ever read. Right amount of drama and comedy, a cast of characters with different problems and motivations. I can’t help but think “Oh I wish I were able to create a story like this one day”. Also, someone wrote about it: “let me live the wholesome high school life i didnt have” and ugh I felt it :”))

5. Yazawa Ai’s stories: Nana and Gokinjo Monogatari. Did “Nee, Nana” moments kill my soul every time it was used in the story? Yes, absolutely. Did it make me cry? Don’t even ask.

6. Nishi Keiko’s stories: Otoko no Isshou, Koi to Gunkan. A person I know described her stories like this: “If life goes the wrong way, it’s better to go home”, and I think it sums it up. Both of the stories I listed are about ordinary life in small towns, they both me melancholic and somehow cozy feeling. Both stories have themes and characters that don’t really interest me much, but when I read them, I usually cry. It’s another A+ slice of life author imo.

7. Tsukuba Sakura’s Mekakushi no Kuni. It’s dear to me for special reasons. There a girl who sometimes sees future when touches other people, there is a boy who sees the past all the time he does the same, there’s another boy... And NO evil organizations chasing them for their superpowers, NO global plots or problems or author’s will to condemn society, no deep philosophy questions about time and so on. Just normal slice of life of not so normal peoplewho try to cope with this particularity they have and fit the world they live in. (I wish authors realized the potential of such slice of life centered urban fantasy but they keep failing me aiming at the Global, sigh)

8. Torino Nanko’s Toripan. It’s basically authors essays on her daily life and mostly birdwatching, but ugh it’s so good. Peak comedy about birds and heartfelt pages for when she speaks about her memories or remarks on nature, it’s so full of love towards this world and life. After I read Toripan I feel like I become kinder and better :DD

(author’s A+ faces and haiku about sparrows in the winter)

9. Watanuki Yoshiko’s Manatsu no Delta. I read it some time ago and my first thought was “Wow, this IS how you touch an unpleasant yet existing problem”. I’ll certainly be waiting for this author’s other works.

10. Ikuemi Ryo’s stories, especially the ones featuring metaphorical ghosts (Kiyoku Yawaku, Torch Song Ecology) and Taiyou ga Mite Iru. Joseis with ghosts are my fave thing on earth, and Ikuemi’s great at it. But she can make any theme totally worth digging into, be it school life or cheating and complicated family relationships. I think TGM is her work that left the deepest trace in my soul because I was reading it when it was ongoing, for three years, and it’s basically just something that makes you die slowly looking at how not so bad people fk up their life decisions bc of their unresolved traumas and issues but you can’t take your eyes of it and then need several years of therapy after reading such manga. And she doesn’t even preech or say you should not live like this. She’s like “this is a life story I want to tell, take whatever you want from it” and I’m like “gooosh this is so painful and looks so real and makes me feel things, I love it”. Ikuemi Power as it is. (Life teaches me nothing, I lowkey want to read something like TGM again and Akaneda Yuki’s Saraba Yoki Hi fulfills this wish of mine, but uh I’m so glad it’s rarely updated)

(text: Nire is here to kill me)

Thanks for such ask, it was fun :D

#replies #flowerymoments #ask memes

[annebrontesrequiem]

Coming back with another question, but have you read xxxholic Rei? If so what did you think about it?

So far so good, even if I’m only one volume in. The fact Watanuki feels like he’s somehow made Yuuko angry is kinda sad though because you know she’s more just worried and sad for him and wants him to make the best decision and be happy.

The little dialogue between Yuuko and Domeki at the end of volume one where they talk about how they’re always waiting for Watanuki to make his decision makes me cry a little. 

So yeah, good but also I want moreeee.

#asks #uppertwist #xxxholic #xxxholic rei #clamp

[colorisbyshe]

if you want to complain more about clamp I am listening :) as someone who owns many volumes of the manga in multiple languages...... I am listening. <3

okay i’m just gonna rant in a very, very long post everyone please just avert your eyes mental illness is happening

but like....... as someone who was nostalgically reading these manga to bring back some happy memories i had as a kid, discovering that these series (ccs which i remembere dfondly despite not having actually watched/read as a kid, and trc and xxxholic which i read with some of my best friends at the time) are not just deeply flawed but harbouring so much like... frankly heinous shit in them is like??? deeply hurtful to me???

and like... i could handle cardcaptor sakura being full of evil shit because i had no deep personal connection, i just wanted to better understand ccs references in tsubasa and lik better appreciate syaoran and sakura and like its 90s shoujo OVER COURSE ITS FUCKED UP! just like sailor moon and fruits basket like it’s not good but like... i can process it

trc hurts me because like... the character writing for kurogane and fai is fucking PHENOMENAL, the concept is cool and interesting and unique, it (for the most part) has great themes and the way it explores concepts like grief, trauma, sacrifice, and healing was a balm to my quarantined soul

but you can tell where they realized they literally... did not know how to resolve their plot? and it got so complicated it legit gave me headaches but at least i had kurogane nad fai and then they’re shoved to the side just for it to be revealed that syaoran... is syaoran and sakura’s son... looking to meet up with sakura... to be with her... so they can be his parents

like... wow so great to watch this beautiful relationship be explored with kurogane and fai saving each otehr from the worst part of themselves just to be sidelined for “what if those fourth graders from cardcaptor sakura where husband and wife AND mother and son but like NOT REALLY becaues syaoran is also syaoran’s own dad so is it incest or just really confusing” but no it’s both like legit when falling in love with sakura he comments on how she’s just like his mom like hello bitch? you’re 14 but i’ll still kill you that shit is WEIRD

so that wAS NOT GREAT and then it ends with THE GROUP SEPARATED AT THE END?? SO I COULDN’T EVEN GET A HAPPY ENDING like yeah maybe it’s good sakura and syaoran were separated but kurogane and fai got to stay together beacuse... fuck the incest  but like... where is my catharsis where is my happiness??

and i’m rereading xxxholic which was my favorite of trc/xxxholic as a kid and... first off, it’s boring, secondly, it thinks it’s smarter than it is an dhas contradicting themes every other chapter, but FUCK it’s so interesting but doumeki, himawari, watauniki, and yuuko don’t have half the bonds as the TRC gang and like... i still don’t know why doumeki was going so fucking hard for watanuki

but the concepts were interesting enoguh and watching watanuki grow was nice

but you can ALSO tell AGAIN clamp just got bored and didn’t know how to wrpa it up so suddenly watanuki gives up ALL HIS BONDS AND HURTS ALL HIS FRIENDS just to be reunited with yuuko??? despite the themes of the story being about how self sacrifice causes scars on others?? and that’s BAD like if you love your frieneds you don’t hurt them by undervaluing yourself??? THATS A BASIC THEME OFT HE STORY

and then they rush to pair off doumeki with a girl THEY HELPED RAISE so he can have children to stay with watanuki... himawari is written off despite her last interactions with watanuki being about them caring for each other anad choosing to stay in contact despite her curse... and like yuuko’‘s entire character is never explained she’s just like “i’m a woman who exists as a vehicle of plot in both TRC and xxxholic i will never be given depth beyond that... well also i’ll ruin watanuki’s life”

and hen the last chapters are just watching everyone grow up while watanuki is alone, never aging, helping grant wishes where he watches other immortal beings suffer and lose everyone, and it just ends with him relizing he likely won’t ever see yuuko again but he’ll keep waiting?? even though it’s been 100 yers and everyone he loves is dead??

and that shit is not good for my mental health like i feel like i have been isolated fo ra hundred years beacuse of covid watching watanuki choose it hurt edeply

like half the manga is about syaoran and sakura begging him not to vanish (also that plotline was WEIRDLY dropped) and the series ends with him effectively... vanishing a sa person and just becoming shopkeeper

how fucking depressing??

i could handle a sad ending if it had value. if it said something. if it didn’t have doumeki marrying a girl he knew since she was an abused elementary schooler while he was like 17. ESPECiALLY when IN THE PANELS REVEALING IT it weren’t like “atcually neither of them love each other they love watanuki but it’s fine” like HUH????????? FOR WHY

and ive really had to grasp the reason why there’s so much fucked up shit (incest, pedophilia) in those series is core to CLAMP’s messages accross all their mangas about soulmates nad how about love can triumph over everything

and like using such a PURE message to be like “if an adult is in love with a child and they’re soulmates, it’s to be” is so fucking evil

like they’ll tip toe around kurogane and fai, yukito and touya, doumeki and watanuki, and all the gaybait that i KNOW is in their other series because i’ve grown up seeing shit like tokyo babylon and legal drug and all their other dropped manga

because gay peopl ebeing soulmates is a wink and a nod

but ADULTS WITH CHILDREN THEY ARE IN CHARGE OF??? MOTHER AND SON MAYBE??? oh that’s fine they’re REAL soulmates who will go against TIME AND DIMENSION MAGIC ITSELF to be in love

like...............................

gay people are second class characters compared to pedos and incest... does it get worse than that? like besides emotionally destroyed by the sad endings, i get that shit too?

it hurts on a deeper level like feels like a betrayal and i’m kind of really sad i revisited something i enjoyed so much as a kid (even when i didn’t understand wtf was going on, because i was literally reading it at the same time my friend was and rushing) andd discovered this like... deep rot inside it

i could have continued to remember it fondly but now it’s just like... reaching the last bite of cake and being told it was made with maggots like... well i already ate it all...

there’s no point reading clear card or the unfinished tsubasa/xxxholic sequels because they’ve already ruined themselves like they can’t fix it

kurogane and fai still won’t be allowed to be together. watanuki still outlived everyone who ever loved him for a mother figure that can never come back. cardcaptor wrote off the fourth grader engaged to hre teacher but like... sakura’s dad is still a preadator

like... what do i do with these left over feelings then?

i’ll be over it in a dya but like for tonight i really do feel unwell

okay thank you i got it out in one post i am processing the feelings

i am gonna cry about watanuki being alone tho

[completeoveranalysis]

[1] 

Chapitre 202 - The Distorted Wish

Splash text: Those soaring wings with the power to go anywhere

What image did they paint upon the boy's eyes...?

OH I -

WATANUKI AS THE DESCENDANT OF THE CLOW LEGACY

WATANUKI FILLING IN AS THE HEIR LAVA LAMP WAS

Watanuki being born into a world as the heir to a bloodline where he technically didn’t exist, but at the same time he exists now, and he’s always been the heir as long as he’s existed. 

And he doesn’t even know! He doesn’t even know who his family is or who Lava Lamp is to him or that they care for him so deeply! He doesn’t know where he came from or why he exists and for a while he was scared that he didn’t actually exist at all, just a dream destined to fade away. 

And he almost was, but now he’s so much more than that, and it’s the love of everyone around him that keeps him firmly planted in reality. 

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT WATANUKI OK. 

Watanuki in the garden of Yuuko’s house, wearing Clow Reed’s cloak. 

Watanuki having all these people fight to have him here at all. 

Watanuki as proof that mistakes are not just mistakes and even accidents can be vitally important to everyone they touch. 

Watanuki as living proof of what love is, and what love can create, and what love can sustain. 

#Watanuki as a void and Watanuki as Love Itself #OH THIS TINY BOY #HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW #All the prices people made to keep him here #Just sitting in this garden enjoying the birds #AND THE PRICE WAS ALWAYS WORTH IT #Liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 202 #Watanuki #Crying about Watanuki on Christmas Eve #AS CLAMP INTENDED

[jacksgreysays]

Viridescent: Or, Tetsuki Goes Under New Management, (2020-04-27)

Related to this, but not required reading

~

Tetsuki is sent on a mission to yet another dimension with yet another group of people who she could help, but only if they pay an equivalent price in whatever the Shopkeeper has sent her to retrieve. It's a standard mission, all told, fairly straightforward for all that she's dealing in mercenary work exchanged for what should be intangible concepts. It doesn't even take that long. Only six days--not the shortest she's ever been on, that had been only six hours, and far from the longest--before she's ready to return to the Shop 

(Then again, what with the different dimensions and all, six days for her does not guarantee six days at the Shop.)

So she returns--with a bottled curse and a beloved keychain weighted with cherished childhood memories she had Assessed to be the equivalent exchange--and is only mildly surprised that on the other side of the Dimension Doors is an entirely different Shopkeeper than the one she left behind.

For a moment, Watanuki-kun doesn't look it. Startled and staring--as bewildered as the teenager she first met, tempered with a yearning grief--but that is quickly and carefully shuttered beneath the neutral guise of the Shopkeeper.

"Ah, you've inherited..." she says mildly, giving him time to compose himself, "... my condolences for your loss."

He nods his head, but doesn't say thank you, because he knows words have power, especially his own, now. But perhaps his education was not so thorough, because then he asks, "My loss, but not yours, senpai?"

Tetsuki blinks, but only because her eyes require it. "You're the Shopkeeper, I am no longer your senpai," she corrects, "And your loss, yes, not mine. Don't get me wrong, I liked Yuuko-san, but to me she was my employer, the Shopkeeper first and foremost and, well..." she does not gesture around her, because that would be unnecessary. 

"The Shopkeeper is dead. Long live the Shopkeeper."

Watanuki-kun's face doesn't even twitch, stays placid even under the wave of emotional turmoil she can feel off him. Good, he's a fast learner.

Now, the real question is, "Did you also inherit the title of Dimension Witch?"

---

The longest mission Tetsuki had ever been sent on lasted for six years: a grueling, grudging thing which was largely set in, of all places, Scotland.

The client was foolish, mismanaging his resources, and somehow both frustratingly vague and tediously inefficient with his Wish, besides. She even offered suggestions that she Assessed would suit the situation: it certainly wouldn't be the first time she bodyguarded someone from a villain obsessed with immortality or, alternatively, assassinate said villain.

(Yes, even including the whole magical soul container bit. Although, to be fair, most liches only bothered with the single phylactery.)

But Dumbledore only wanted her to observe and teach and no more.

And so for six years Tetsuki was Professor Babbling's apprentice and teaching assistant. Almost literally as far away from the important events of the mission as she could get while still being in the same castle. She never even had the Chosen One in any of her classes! 

She did get close in her third year, when the staff were deciding how to schedule around Professor Lupin's lycanthropy. Briefly they considered having her substitute for him--he would assign reading or have open study, so she didn't really need to be a master in the subject--except then Professor Snape swooped in, eager for his opportunity to sabotage, and made the matter unnecessarily complicated: she ended up covering the first and second year classes for both Defense and Potions so that Snape could go and torment the upper years.

Though at least Dumbledore paid his share of the price for the utter waste of her time, expensive as it was. Truly, it would have cost less if he had chosen to put a hit out on Voldemort. As if she didn't know how to extract a soul shard from a living vessel without harming said vessel--and that even before she learned magic.

At the end of six years, she returned to the Shop, having never spoken to either Harry James Potter or Tom Marvolo Riddle, but getting their payments, nonetheless.

And Yuuko-san--for who, it seemed, only six weeks had passed--raised an eyebrow, smirked, and asked, "Did you have fun?"

Tetsuki, irritated, refused to answer.

At least she was able to actually learn Ancient Runes, for all that it seemed less effective and more volatile than the various fuinjutsu, ofuda, and mahoujin she had picked up over her existence. Then again, that seemed to be the way of that particular dimension:

A whole lot of adversity for an unequal amount of payoff.

---

The first few missions Watanuki-kun sent her on were largely... local... as far as other dimensions went. Only dimensions he or either of the Mokona Modoki had already been to. Which, to be fair wasn't exactly a small list--Soel's journeys nearly too numerous to count. But it was a far cry from the literal infinity Tetsuki was used to.

"I've seen eight versions of the same person in the past ten missions, and six of them Wished for romantic help," she complains as she steps through the Dimension Doors, a clumsily made but charmingly heartfelt necklace in hand. She passes it on to Moro, to be placed in the store room, and takes a place at the table where Watanuki-kun is beginning to serve tea for three. Him, her, and a Doumeki-kun.

(She can never be sure which Doumeki it is--and it's not just her being unsure of the flow of time. They all physically look and magically feel identical--so it's best to just refer to them the same way)

"If I have to do one more mission involving playing messenger or clearing up misunderstandings for star crossed lovers, I'm going on strike," she says, once Watanuki-kun has taken his seat. The corner of this particular Doumeki-kun's mouth twitches up, even as he hides it by taking a drink--so not the most stoic of Doumeki, but certainly not the least either.

Watanuki-kun glances sharply at her, the Shopkeeper recognizing the wording of a transaction, informal as it was. "Is that--" he stops, hesitant, then reconsiders, "Does it feel equivalent to you?"

Tetsuki takes a moment to drink her own tea and Assess, the ability vital to her missions, something she had purchased from Yuuko-san at the very beginning of her employment at the Shop.

Truthfully, it would be more useful to Watanuki-kun now. He still struggles sometimes to make equivalent exchanges--generally skewing too much in the favor of his clients, and ending up paying the remaining price. But it's something he'll develop naturally as he gains experience as the Shopkeeper--to deprive him of that growth would be equally harmful.

"Well, it's not the most specific contract, though that works in our favor," Tetsuki begins, patient in her explanation. She understands why Yuuko-san was as hands off as she was, but it certainly hasn't helped the new Shopkeeper embrace his role, "Your Premonition ability isn't quite at the level it needs to be to know what the missions you send me on entail and so it's not as if you can screen which missions I do or don't go on at this time. It would be harsh to punish you for something you aren't doing purposefully. Luckily, I didn't say how long the strike would be for, nor did I define what concessions I would want to end said strike."

She shrugs, "I may just take a nap and request a specific dish for dinner, and if you cook it then we can either consider the exchange complete or renew the contract entirely."

Watanuki-kun splutters, "That's it?" he asks, more apprentice than employer. This particular Doumeki-kun barely bats an eye at this behavior, so either he's one of the earlier Doumeki or he is actually one of the more stoic ones.

"Sometimes specificity helps--it guides you in the right direction and prevents imbalance--but too much and it can make the prices too steep or inhibit the exchange entirely," Tetsuki shrugs again, "A lenient interpretation will serve you well until you are able to Assess for yourself."

~

A/N: I was briefly considering the idea that Tetsuki unknowingly inherited the title of Dimension Witch while Watanuki only got the Shopkeeper, but I didn’t like locking her in this limbo when, ostensibly, she started working for Yuuko because she Wished to go home (although, which home is the part where a lack of specificity will bite her in the ass). In a way, her training Watanuki to be an effective Dimension Witch/Shopkeeper is kind of her last mission before she finally completes her payment for her Wish.

#jacksgreyson #writing #fanfiction #viridescent #tetsuki kaiza #xxxholic #harry potter #kimihiro watanuki #yuuko ichihara #albus dumbledore

[doumekiss]

the descendants (xxxholic fanfic)

OCS, Doumeki/Watanuki, Doumeki/Kohane // 1512 words // T // Kohane and Doumeki had children to make sure Watanuki will never be alone. A little bit about how their children feel about that.

Also available on AO3

Koemi Doumeki

As a child she never thought much about Watanuki's presence in her life, it seemed like just another natural part of her routine, going to school, watching television, playing with her friend who lived down the street, visiting her father at university during the break between the classes he gave, going to the shop.

 Watanuki always smiled when he saw her coming to the shop accompanied by her mother or father, but there was sadness in his eyes sometimes. These days her father would tell her to go hug her uncle Watanuki, in retrospect she thinks her father would do so because he dared not do it himself as much as he wanted to.

 She was the eldest of four siblings, two boys and another girl, children enough to guarantee that a lineage would probably be formed even if one of them died or simply decided not to have children. She was born to love him. Or at least to make sure he would never be alone.

 She’s not sure if Watanuki knows about it or not, sometimes he catches her staring at him, smiles and says he would like her to talk more about what she is thinking, what she is feeling. That is unhealthy to keep so many things inside herself. And she thinks he's saying that to the wrong person.

 Before telling her parents that she intended to do medicine rather than study folklore as they were surely expecting her to do, she often wondered if they would be disappointed or proud of this decision. When she finally tells them, she realizes it is not a matter of pride or disappointment, it was just a choice she had a right to make about her life just as they had made theirs.

 Although still years later during her shift at the hospital she finds herself texting Watanuki asking if he needs anything, and even if he says no later she always ends up going to the shop to see how he is before going back home.

     Soraka Doumeki

People always talk about how much he looked like his father. Uncle Watanuki never did that, he said that Soraka looked like his great-grandfather Haruka who sometimes talks to him in his dreams, that his smiles and temperaments are similar and that this was a good thing because his father's personality was a disaster (what even as a child sounded a bit fake since Watanuki had a clear preference for his older sister who was the most similar of all his siblings to his father). 

 But in fact he was more like his father and older sister than most knew, while they hid what they were thinking with their neutral expressions he hid with a smile. He liked that about himself, because if his emotions showed Watanuki would know that sometimes he hated him. He loved him too, of course, loved him more than he could ever hate, but that didn't change his other feelings and why they were there.

 He met the girl who one day  is going to become his wife in between the sophomore year classes when for no reason he decided to walk around the university science building and there she was carrying a lot more books than that she could handle when he offered to help her, and even before they reached her class room he was in love. In love in a way that just continued to grow with each day since they met, love that seemed to shape the world around them. In love in a way that his parents were not, at least not with  each other. 

 He thinks he should have noticed this before, but only after that he came to see that the relationship between his parents was affectionate but never passionate, and worse than that they were content but not happy and living like that is okay, but accepting that it would be like this forever is just too sad for him to even fully understand. And he knows who, even if unintentionally, is to blame for that.

 He thinks one day he will get married and have children. And he won't take them to the shop, though it's hard to spend more than three days without going there himself. He hates to think of the face his parents and Watanuki will make when he tells them about that decision. But that won't make he change his mind. He couldn’t change the way he was made, or the things that happened in his heart, but ensuring that his children were not put in the same position, that was at least his choice.

   Akane Doumeki

One morning when she was in high school she decided to stop by the shop to ask her father to sign some school permit that she had only remembered existed when she had already left the temple and was on her way to class. She ended up not going to the tour, or school because when she got there she found that her father was not in the guest room but in Watanuki's room. So she left and spent the morning wandering the city full of thoughts and feelings in her head. And of these feelings the most prominent was envy. 

 She hoped her feelings for the shopkeeper were just an inappropriate and fleeting crush, or a case of magical attraction as often happened among those with powers in that world. But the pain is too big, too visceral not to be real. As well as the quiet acceptance that follows.

 She couldn’t show her love with kisses and caresses after all Watanuki still saw her as all her siblings as children and would probably be quite uncomfortable with that, or with words of devotion because these would only bring him guilt.

 So she shows her love the way she can, as her father and mother before her she chooses her studies based on what would help Watanuki most.

 Like her father and mother before her she goes to the store and talks to him, tries to make him smile and make his life a little less miserable.

 Like her father and mother before her she marries and has children to ensure Watanuki is not going to be alone when she is no longer there to accompany him.

 Although she was one of the youngest, she was the first of her siblings to get married. A few weeks after the birth of her first child she took the boy to meet Watanuki, the baby who was whining and crying for hours calmed down as soon as he was placed in Watanuki's arms.

  You will love him too, won't you?  she thinks unsure if this should be counted as a blessing or a curse.

   Hisaka Doumeki

He had all the powers of both his parents, he could see spirits and repel bad entities without even trying. But he couldn't see the shop, he knew his parents had been quite surprised by it. When they were holding him a few days after his birth and were taking him to be introduced to Watanuki they found only a vacant lot in the place that the shop should be. He can't even imagine the despair his parents must have felt at that moment, or the relief when after leaving him and his siblings with Obaa-san to realize that the shop was still there, that Watanuki was still there.

 They tried to get him to meet Watanuki at other times but all he could see as he passed that street were two columns and the empty lot where his parents and siblings appeared and disappeared.

 On his birthday his father always brought to him a gift from Watanuki, and even when it wasn’t his birthday sometimes Hisaka got things Watanuki had done especially for him like dishes he liked or gloves and scarves made in his favorite colors, and after he found out his taste for cooking the shopkeeper started sending him a bunch of his favorite recipes and special tips on how to prepare them. He usually thinks the shopkeeper probably does this because feels wrong for not treating all his friends' children the same way, other times he thought that as irrational as it was Watanuki loved him even without having met him, loved him simply because he was the son of two people he loved so much.

 On days when he is not working at the restaurant he often helps his parents and siblings on missions for shop customers. He meets Ame-Warashi and Zashiki-Warashi. The Oden Fox and Raishuu the god of thunder. But never the shopkeeper who they all know and who seemed to occupy so much space in the lives of those who cross his path. And then Hisaka goes home to his husband and sleeps in peace.

 He thinks that one day he might be able to see the shop if he has a wish that only the shopkeeper can fulfill. And he feels a little guilty for wishing that this will never happen. 

#my fanfiction #xxxholic #doumeki x watanuki #douwata

[ladyhallen]

To Those Left Behind

Sakura knows the boy sleeping under the covers is not her son.

She exchanges a tentative look with Syaoran and is relieved when she sees the knowledge in his eyes too. She wasn’t sure he would remember their other son, but the blood of Clow running through his veins, no matter how diluted, gives him enough power. Enough to be a powerful sorcerer in his own right. Certainly more powerful than he was in her memories.

“He’s…” she tries to start and is unsurprised at how difficult it is to get the words out. “He’s not ours…”

A memory made from a wish, of time turned back and she shudders at the feeling. Memories like that always make her feel nauseous, and not only for the disassociation it gives her. Her mind is given memories of giving birth to a black haired boy that is a throwback to Syaoran’s ancestor, Clow while her body remembers giving birth to another boy.

“He’s ours,” Syaoran says firmly, resolutely. As sturdy as a tree and a mountain and his resolve has always been what she loves about him. “His soul…his magic and his existence was brought about by my other self. In essence, he is….”

In essence, he is the same, is what he would have said. Sakura understands what he means.

“My hands remember a different shape,” she whispers. She doesn’t know why she is uncertain. The pain of a mother is burning – lancing through her like a rod. She has just lost her son and gained another, along with a foreign host of memories that stand out in her mind, highlighted by the magic running in her veins.

“Your hands hold, no matter the shape. You will be fine. We will be fine,” Syaoran reassures her.

Her magic is powerful though, stronger than his and she knows that the twin-soul of their son will suffer much hardship unless they do something about it. It’s a relief to know that they could do something about it, unlike their other son.

“His name,” she whispers, feeling her magic stirring deep inside her. “Will be Watanuki Kimihiro. You must bury his name, Syaoran. Bury his real name, lest that Puppetmaster find him and use him as he had used us.”

Syaoran nods. “We will tell him the truth?”

Sakura feels a tear drop at what will happen when they do. “Yes. And he will go to the Shopkeeper and make his own choice.”

The rustling of sheets takes their attention and her son’s twin-soul is stirring. Syaoran gestures and the name buries itself, deep into the recesses of his memory, where only a wizard wielding Clow’s magic could open it.

“Kimihiro,” Sakura says softly. “Good morning.”

He blinks sleepily at her, eyes blue and innocent. Sakura remembers meeting Clow Reed in a dream, or a memory of him. Those same blue eyes blink at her from the bed and it takes all her willpower not to freeze.

“Good morning, mother,” he says. “I had a strange dream. Another boy was yelling at me, not to disappear.”

Sakura manages to hide a shudder. She knows who that boy was, somehow.

“Hold on to that, for a moment,” Syaoran says behind her. “It’s too early for dream interpretation. After breakfast, tell me about it.”

After breakfast, Kimihiro would likely forget the dream. Sakura exhales a quiet sigh of relief. She is not one to run from confrontation, but she would need time to gather her strength to do it first.

“You’re not joining us for breakfast?” Syaoran asks her, recognizing the look in her eyes.

“I have to prepare,” she murmurs, eyes already distant. “If he is to survive, I have to prepare. You have started the first step, I’ll take care of the rest.”

.

.

Sakura spends the day making calls.

While she’s prominent in Hongkong for being the wife of Li Syaoran, she is well-known in her own right for being a powerful dreamseer. Syaoran’s expertise of wards, talismans and offensive magic ensures that they have enough connections all over the world.

Who Sakura contacts, however, are her old school friends in Japan. Her precognition had pointed her to the old, ratty address book and she’d obliged. (She may no longer have the Luck of the Gods, but she trusted her magic not to lead her astray.)

“Umi-san, good morning!” she greets as cheerfully as she can over the phone. “Do you remember me? I’m Sakura. Well, I was Kinomoto Sakura.”

Umi Ryuuzaki evidently does, judging by the pleasure in her voice. “Of course I do!” she says gleefully. She is as vivacious as always. “Sakura-chan! You’re Li Sakura now, aren’t you? It’s good to hear from you again. What’s up?”

That’s what she likes about Umi. Straight to the point and completely shameless about it.

“You know what I do for a living, don’t you?” she asks as a prelude. “My son, Kimihiro…in a few years, he’ll need your help.”

Given that Umi’s job is being an inheritance lawyer and most of the people she deals with are the deceased and their descendants, her sharp intake of breath is completely understandable.

“Sakura, are you ill?” she demands.

Sakura shakes her head, forgetting for a moment that she’s on the phone and Umi can’t see her.

“Ah, no. I just…I had a dream,” she says solemnly. “And I know…my Kimihiro, he will come to you so young.”

Umi is quiet for a moment, before she sighs. “Mou! If this is what I was signing up for when I agreed to be your friend, you could have warned me!” the tone of her voice is completely ridiculous and Sakura can’t help but laugh. “I’ll tell Fuu?” the lawyer continues, prodding.

“Ah, please,” Sakura agrees, thinking on the blonde girl and how kind she was. Her being a Social Worker for orphaned children was a really lovely coincidence (Hitsuzen).

“Send me a picture of your Kimihiro,” Umi demands. “Gah! I hate it when you use that mystical, serious voice on me, Sakura.”

Sakura laughs again, imagining her face. “Of course. He just turned seven this year.”

Strangely, Umi just sighs and says quietly, “I’ll take care of him for you, Sakura. I’ll miss you.”

A lump forms in her throat at the sudden feeling of gratitude. Just three hours ago, she had been unsure of the little boy bearing an identical soul to her son. Now, having named him – hiding his true name and his soul in the process -  and contemplating his future, she knows she loves that boy to distraction. Just as much as she had loved her son.

“I’ll miss you too, Umi. Thank you.”

Lastly, she places a call for Yukito.

She arranges it so that she calls when Touya is not there and she manages to inform Yukito, as obliquely as possible without stating it outright, that her son might get into some trouble in a few years and to please take care of him?

Yukito, like all dreamseers Sakura has met, doesn’t ask unnecessary questions like Umi. He just says, “I’ll find him and take care of him for you.”

Sakura puts down a note to send him a picture, dithering for a bit, before putting a note at the back of the photograph that said, “Be careful of his name.”

Sakura puts down the phone and allows herself to crumble, just a little. Syaoran is doing his duty and teaching Kimihiro everything he would have taught their other son and more besides. Cooking and cleaning, while easier done with magic, is always better made with manual labor.

To her surprise, the phone rings.

Sakura stares for a moment, taken aback by the sudden, shrill sound. She would say it is a coincidence that someone is calling her in her private line when she is in the office to hear it, but she knows better than that. (Hitsuzen.)

She picks it up with some trepidation and then almost laughs when she hears the voice on the other end of the line.

“Good morning, Yuuko-san,” Sakura greets back.

The Witch of Dimensions’s husky voice murmurs, “Sakura-chan, so serious.”

Sakura lets out the giggle she had been holding back. The witch she had known had been serious, the memories she holds always held an air of professionalism. But just remembering Mokona and the pranks the little meatbun had done told her that outside of a professional setting was a woman who liked messing with people. (She thinks of Fai and knows both of them would have gotten along marvelously.)

“Sorry, you caught me at a bad time,” she apologizes.

“A-ah,” the witch says in that tone of voice that always makes chills go up and down her spine. “The fractured memories just caught up, I see.”

Sakura’s breath caught. “Yes,” she chokes.

There is a sigh on the other end of the line and Sakura wants to weep. As awful as the hand fate had dealt the both of them, the witch had it worse. Sakura bites on her tongue to stop the apologies from coming out.

“He’ll be fine,” Yuuko says eventually. “I’ll make sure of it.”

The sobs that had been building up in her chest come out as a whimper. “The price?” she manages.

“Oh Sakura-chan,” the witch says sadly. “He’s a customer.”

A customer.

Sakura wants to cry, because there are a lot of reasons why one would become Yuuko’s customer, and it all boils down to desperation.

Duty, she reminds herself. “Thank you, Yuuko-san.”

“It is the least I could do, Sakura-chan.”

Vehemently, Sakura shakes her head. “No, Yuuko-san. You’ve already done so much! So really, thank you.”

“Such a sweet child,” Yuuko says fondly. Sakura could hear the smile in the witch’s voice this time, which is better than sad melancholy.

.

.

Syaoran takes one look at her face and holds her hand. If they were alone, he would embrace her.

“Mother, I made a cake for you! Father said you weren’t feeling well,” Kimihiro greets her, eyes sparkling hopefully.

Sakura’s smile comes more naturally this time. “Ah, what a lovely surprise! You made this, Kimihiro? Thank you!”

He blushes and smiles back, clearly pleased with her reaction.

“But this is so big and so delicious,” she adds with a hint of mischief. “I’ll need your help finishing this, dear one.”

Kimihiro tries to get out of eating the cake, insisting that it’s for her. But he’s no match for her, especially since she’s in the mood to be distracted.

So they eat the cake and laugh, Sakura allowing herself close her eyes from the darker visions coming to her.

.

.

The day it’s set to pass arrives and Sakura closes her eyes to enjoy what is surely the last sunshine she would feel in forever.

A set of footsteps sound at her right and she turns her head to look at her husband, her soulmate. Syaoran is holding an hourglass, a very familiar hourglass.

“Kimihiro is having a trip to Japan. He thinks it’s all grand and swell to stay with his uncles,” Syaoran sighs. “That boy’s enthusiasm is amazing.”

She manages a smile for him. “That is how children are. Are you prepared?”

“Yes. One last time,” he says. His brown eyes are fierce and determined. One last kiss, one last hug, the last they would feel.

Then they activate the magic deep in the blood and have faith with the rest of the people they entrusted their son to.

A wink, a surge of magic and all in place of where they stood is an hourglass.

For the breathe of one second, the world is quiet.

.

.

Touya receives a package in the mail and knows without doubt that he wouldn’t want to open it.

He opens it anyway, because the return address is his brat-sisters address and this would likely involve more magic foolery than he is comfortable with.

“That’s for Yuuko-san,” Yukito says from behind him, peeking over his shoulder. “Sakura-chan did call last month for something important, but she was being cryptic about it.”

With a sigh, Touya plucked the tape holding the brown box together. And stopped again.

A case of polished wood, the sort that hold really expensive heirlooms. It’s flat shape hints at one thing he knows that the Li’s have in abundance.

Upon opening it, he groans to Yukito. “Yuki, look. They sent me replica’s.”

Yukito’s dark eyes are intent on the wand and the sword. “No, Touya. Those are the real things.”

Unwittingly, Touya touches the wand and somehow, he just knows. Grief lances through him, as well as understanding. Sometimes, having untrained magic in his blood is such an inconvenience.

“Ah, Sakura. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

..

I just had a thought. 

What happened to those who remembered, when the switch happened?

I didn’t mean for this to get this sad.

#fanfiction #xxxholic #tsubasa reservoir chronicle #sakura kinomoto #syaoran li #watanuki kimihiro #trcxxxxholic #crossover #snippet

[rateelism]

Hey! Let’s Be Friends, Okay?

I should be working on the fourth chapter of Envy’s Child because HYPE, but I just can’t believe that people hate KuroMahi... So here we go, stay positive!

Prompt- School AU (First grade)

Kuro’s first day of first grade is today. Joy. Barely 6 years of age and his sarcasm is great. Goal for today: Not to make a teacher yell at him. Kuro brushed his light blue hair away from his face.

“Kuro? We’re supposed to be going now. Are you ready?” Kuro’s dad, a white-haired man, asked. His quiet son nodded. “Are you not going to cover your eyebags?” A shake. “Alright. Let’s go, then.” Kuro would never admit it out loud when asked that he liked his father’s tired yet strong voice. He also got the tired, deep voice of his father, but much weaker and squeaky. Smaller, less powerful.

The six-year-old stayed quiet in the car, as did his father. Their small family of two was one of quiet, sanctuary, and calm. It was soothing.

“Here we are. Come on now,” Kuro’s dad smiled wryly. Kuro climbed out, putting on his furry hood. He didn’t like meeting new people.

Kuro shuffled in after his dad, knowing that many of the other children in the room were staring at him. Self-conscious and anxious, he pulled down his hood lower, subtly wiping at his eyes. He promised himself that he wouldn’t cry.

“Hello, Kuro. Or is there anything else you want to be called?” A smiling boy, probably a volunteer, held out his hand. Kuro shook his head, hesitantly accepting the boy’s hand. The boy smiled wider, leading Kuro to his class.

“My name’s Sakuya. And, just between you and me,” Sakuya ducked down closer to Kuro’s height, looking as if confiding in Kuro a secret. “Your class has a personal favorite of mine. He’s nice and stubborn, like a mule, but he’s a real~ sweetheart. The others in your class are heathens.” Kuro’s lips twitched, and Sakuya was faintly amused that a first-grader knew such a word. 

Sakuya showed Kuro his class, Classroom #3. The first-grader was hurriedly pushed in by Sakuya, who suddenly looked worried.

“I’m sorry, Kuro, but I can’t stay! See yo-””SAKUYA!” Kuro jumped and ran over to the lonely book corner as a tall-ish black-haired man ran at Sakuya. He looked like he went through a crafts store, wet white glue and sparkly glitter clung to his clothes and hair. His left hand held his right arm, which looked like it was dipped in black paint. Kuro pressed himself closer into the bookshelf.

“Sakuya! Where have you been? The children intend to drown me in glue and pink glitter!” 

“Be quiet! We have a new student! Kuro, come out, please.” Sakuya gestured for Kuro to get closer to the creepy man... Who seemed shorter than Sakuya himself. Kuro slipped out from behind the bookshelf he attempted to hide in, and immediately was he picked up by Sakuya to put in-between him and the man. Kuro felt scared that this man was his teacher.

“Ahh? Kuro Ash? I knew your father from way back... You have his looks!” The man laughed. “I’m Tsubaki Watanuki~ It’s great to see my old Senpai’s son!” Kuro was taken aback. This man knew his father? That’s weird. The old man never mentioned anyone named Tsubaki.....

“Yes! Well, if you’re like your father, you’ll dislike this activity! Get into groups of four and make some animal cut-outs!” Oh... Kuro hated group projects... What a pain...

He got seated at a table with three other kids sitting at it. A black-haired boy with blue eyes and a blonde kid with orange eyes yelled at each other constantly, saying that their animal out-out would win in a fight (a dove and a hedgehog). The other kid at his table was this quiet purple-haired boy who seemed dead-set on perfectly cutting out this rabbit he drew. 

“Ah! My.... My butterfly!” A strawberry-blonde kid cried as he held the snipped pieces of his attempted butterfly. Kuro watched the purple-haired kid go over to the blonde and promised him that’d he redraw his butterfly. Watanuki-Sensei and Sakuya gently calmed the kid down and sat the purple boy next to him, choosing another kid to move to Kuro’s table.

The kid was a brunette. He smiled widely at Kuro, who looked away, muttering under his breath it was bright enough with the lights on. The blonde kid at his table squealed as the brunette sat down.

“Mahiru! Help! I’m been hurt!” Kuro grimaced as the kid used horrible grammar. Like, this kid...

Mahiru laughed, stuck his tongue out at the blonde, and turned to face Kuro. He smiled wider, offering his hand for Kuro to shake. “Hewwo! I’m Mahiru Shhhirota!  Sixth years old!” Kid’s got some lisp, Kuro thought as he shook Mahiru’s hand. Mahiru giggled.

“You’re new, right? Thhhat’s Hyde!” He pointed at the blonde. “And then that’s his friend, Lisssh (Licht)!” The raven glared at Kuro, and waved at Mahiru.

Mahiru smiled at Kuro’s direction. “Over there’s Mikuni and Shehsheh (Jeje)!” A quiet, long-haired ravenette was listening to a blonde ramble on and on about his favorite toy, Kuro assumed, as the blonde was holding up a doll.

“And then there’s more, but thhhey’re abshent. Oh, and that’s Mishono and Lilly!” He pointed at the sniffing strawberry-blonde and confident purple-haired boy.

Mahiru turned back to Kuro with a smile that made Kuro’s spirits lift. “And what’s your name?”

“Kuro... Kuro Ash... It’s nice to meet you, Mahiru.”

pffft. my attempt is hilariously weak.  Hope you enjoyed!

#servamp #school au #kuro #sleepy ash #mahiru shirota #shirota mahiru #kuromahi #kuromahi positivity project #volunteer sakuya #teacher tsubaki #all the eves are kids #and so are the servamps #THEY ARE HUMAN #AAAHHHHH