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boxwinebaddie · 5 months

Note

Hello my dear I just wanna say that I am NEVER getting over how awkward and endearing Raven was on the Hate like (Marj voice) BLESS HIS LITTLE HEART our sweet boy oh my god and him meeting Curb was so incredibly perfect just UGH I love him sm

hello, my beautiful computer wife!

listen!!! LIST!!! EN!!! when i said Try Not To Fall in Love with Raven Challenge: Level Impossible i meant that!!! he is SOOOO CUTE

and i am not sure who read it ( or who wants to lmao ) regardless you will all be spared my screaming and i'll drop it under a readmore <333

( edit: i wrote so much i had a lot to say about hate!raven the loml )

i...could talk about offstage!raven for several days, months and hours.

like he is made entirely of boyfriend material and its 100% upcycled.

tbh, the concept of the hate is deeply funny to me because when it happened kyle was so stressed out like uGh!!! this is going to be the WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME like??? Why Me dude?!! ike broflovski, you are So lucky i love you enough to go on this hate with the DEVIL rn...please kill me with so many hammers. :////

and ravenstan was just like aaAAAAA EEEEE KENKENKEN IM GOIN ONA DATEDATEDATEEEEEE<333!! EEE!! :3 laughing smiling kicking his feet oh my goddddd like kyle dreaded it all week and stan was so nervous and Excited. i just Know he gushed all abt kyle to that old farmers market man for like 45 minutes and held up the line <333

also???? not kyle being like wOW I CANT BELIEVE THIS STUPID CELEBRITY ASSHOLE STOOD ME UP WHAT THE FUCK!!! DIE!!!

and it was deadass raven ripping his room up trying to find his airpods like AAAA WHAT THE FUC and just being like fuck im fuckin Late gotta gogogo!!! and just grabbed his stupid gaming headset and did like two shots out the door smh ( stan chronic late disorder smh )

got there almost crashed into a fire hydrant and freaked out, couldn't find parking, paced outside the door for like five minutes like idk idk i cant do this im gonna turn around and then being like n no i can do this u can do this!! ahdklhdsa called kenny bc he was having a stannic attack and almost threw up in the hallway from stress oh my god help

he is.....the luv of my life, truly. i would take multiple bullets 4 staven.

also i know this chapter was kind of chaotic and seems out of left field, but its REALLY important to the plot progression and the char development because up until this point, we have only seen ravenstan in public settings/around lots of people, lots of eyes on him and specifically through the jaded eyes of jersey kyle and his narrow perception of ravens character as a blown up celebrity.

BUT SURPRISE HES ACTUALLY JUST CUTE AND PATHETIC LIKE SKHDKHKSLD he is soft he is an Angel everything makes him cry its so unserious HE LITERALLY LOVES PLANTS SO MUCH i know he was rambling abt suzie and that whole time he was ohhhh god oh god shut up shut up stop talking about that u fucking Idiot!!! AAA

when he said ~scientific~ w/ the finger tip wiggle and his eyes sparkling w excitement i was crying baby!!! at least try and b cool!

meanwhile kyle was just like...uh google...HELP! what do you do when you are on a #hate with your arch nemesis, but he starts being really nice to you??? and looks like a small puppy with very big eyes when he smiles...and gets you a really dorky plant that reminds him of you...and you kind of want to throw up bc hes kInDA cuT e? EWEW

its the way kyle literally had no interest in him when he thought he was an arrogant confident celebrity d-hole but the SECOND he starts displaying stanley marsh boyfail behavior hes like ohhhhh my god....wait what the actual fuck why is he so LAME???? why did he make his finger into a gun and then shoot me and then almost fall and then say sorry and wink ...thats so...why is he kindaaaa...why do i kind of want to......whats hAPPENING TO ME??? HELP???? kILL ME

he got reverse rizzed fml kyle likes em pretty and pierced up and pouty and poetic and little pathetic what can i say...i respect that

okay, i got distracted this got really long??? BUT I WAS WAITING TO WRITE THAT PART WITH CURB BC ITS GONNA BE SOOOO ;-; <3

the way kyle was like haha Stupid hes gonna bite ur hand off!!! and curb was just like immediately in LUV with him and stan was holding him like a baby and singing to him in spanish and curb licked his nose... jersey was FKN shook like IS THERE ANYTHING U CANT DO

also idk if you guys caught curb in rm5 rub his face near the phone just listening to raven talk but...its serious CURB! LOVES! RAVEN!

that man is srsly just a mega fione bad at everything boy rockstar disney prince its his spanish speaking soft boy singer boy siren song... like he sings and all the little plants and animals swoon

...its also working on kyle...allegedly...hes fighting the raven bias dawn spawn allegaytions so hard...alexa play i wont say im in love

live laugh the ravesey hate and raven trying to b cool but accidentally actin a fool bc hes nErvoUs and it...working on kyle...too well tbh.

ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU, RILEY! THANK YOU FOR READING RM6 IN ALL ITS CHAOS AND CRINGE AND SUPPORTING THE DORKY AWKWARD BOY RAVEN AGENDA...HE IS...DOING HIS BEST...RIP.

-uncle nina, boyfail father

#thank you for sending this i love you #i am still feeling not good things about chapter six i feel like it was weird or weirdly recieved i think im just anxious #BUT YALL HAD TO SEE RAVEN NOT DOING HOT BOY THINGS AND ACCIDENTALLY DOING HOTTER BOY THINGS #OR SO SAYS JERSEY KYLE GETTING #RIZZEDBYRAVEN #TALKING ABOUT LOVE AND PLANTS AND RAMBLIN #UR HONOR THEYRE NOT ON A HATE ITS A LOVE #they dont know that but i know that #im sorry if you were attached to Cool Boy Raven #u can call him whatever u want but at the end of the day he is just Boy Fail Stan in tiny sexc skin tight lead singer boy pants #and hes really nervous he really wants it to go well he thinks its going so bad i love him oh my god hes like oh god he hates SUZY OH NO #he HATES me & kyle was like shut up and put my new stupid plant on the windowsill flower boy and was like sIR YES SIR #amazing...style world domination...pathetic puppy dog plant dad anxious punk rock angel ravenstan world domination #but literally bc i have never seen someone exhibit more bottom behavior...im sorry its just true im right argue w ur mom #also evil dictator jersey kyle developing a heart and sweating and the ice around his cold dead heart melting domination BUT! LITREALLY!#BC I LOVE BORED DETACHED ONE NIGHT STAND MANEATING THROWS BOYS OUT ON THE STREET AFTER HE SLEEPS W/ YOU TY U! NEXT! SEXY SUCCUBUS KYLE #legend and icon! take em out like trash new jersey!#but raven is is our eco king so...reduce reuse recycle baby ;)#ANYWAYS! BYE! IM DONE NOW SOMEONE TAKE THE KEYBOARD AWAY FROM ME

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pixelsjoy · 2 years

Note

Give your thoughts on Luigi Mario

shoutout to Luigi Mario the Super Mario bro. Gotta be one of my favorite genders.

#- slaps this plumber - This bad boy can fit so much anxiety!!#My man needs a vacation. A nap. A good pastry #Let this fella get some rest #I want nothing but the best for this genderfluid icon and his funky ghost dog #@ you gritty folk who think it's funny to headcanon him hating his bro I am throwing my shoe at you #also I lied. Today is a lecture day. I'll get to these sooner than I thought fbueyrgbyeru #Ask game #Anon #Super Mario

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 3 months

Text

7am. Can't sleep. Have to wake up at 9am. The sun is rising. Probably just won't sleep.

#just cant sleep. dont want to sleep #the sun has risen so im probs not gonna be able to fall asleep #and whats the point of sleeping less than two hours anyway?#i decided about an hour ago that if im still awake at 7:30/8 then ill just get up and walk my dog #he needs to be tired out because both my sibling and i have to work and he barks when neither of us are there #so we figured out the beat thing to do is to tire him tf out #i think waking him up an hour early and taking him on an extended walk should do the trick #the only thing is. i have to work today. and i dont want to work six hours on no sleep #but tbh maybe no sleep is better than an hour. i think if i just have some coffee maybe ill be fine #i just feel like today is going to be a bad day. and im just preparing for that #(tw animal death)i feel like one of my rats is going to die today and its just going to be a bad shift cuz ill be so tired and cuz of my rat #just all around its not going to be a good day and im resigning myself to that #i dont want to go to work. i think if a customer is even a little rude ill just burst into tears in front of them #thatd be kind of iconic tbh. i bet theyd regret being rude #everything sucks and ive spent the last few hours steadily crying #anyway have a great day yall. sincerely. and kiss your pets on their little heads for me

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lewisvinga · 24 days

Text

roscoe’s daddy | lewis hamilton x fem! reader

summary; in which famous veterinarian, y/n, gets a world famous patient ( and his father is pretty cute himself )

fc; various girls on pinterest

warnings; ?

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03

note; requested !i shall write as many lewis smaus as my heart desires bc there’s a huge lack of em here 😭 and there was lowk a lack of poc vet pics on pinterest sorry bookie 😣

masterlist !

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton, and others !

yourusername: busy day in the office but look who came in for a checkup? 💗

tagged; roscoelovescoco

roscoelovescoco: feeling’s all’s better now’s !

username: i love when grown men pretend to be their dogs on instagram

username: y’all think lewis would use roscoe’s instagram account to rizz y/n up?

username: ROSCOEEEEEE?????

username: what an icon

username: roscoe😭💗💓💞

lewishamilton: y/n is a lovely doctor and made roscoe feel at ease! i really recommend her if you’re wondering about taking your pets to her :)

yourusername: awh lewis🥹🥹 you’re too kind 💗

username: lewrizz

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by roscoelovescoco, yourbestfriend, and others !

yourusername: mini photo dump of this past week + seeing a very special guest ( and his father ) again because someone got into a bag of chocolate ! 😁

tagged; roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton

roscoelovescoco: you’s the best’s 🐶💓 liked by yourusername !

username: i bet lewis made roscoe eat chocolate so he could see y/n again

username: what are yall on

yourbestfriend: i know you resisted the urge to call him roscoe’s daddy 🙈🙈

yourusername: I CANT STAND YOU😭😭😭

username: LMAOO NOT Y/B/F EXPOSING Y/N

username: no ur so real bc lewis IS daddy idk

lewishamilton: oh🤨

yourusername: lewishamilton look away now

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by lewishamilton, yourbestfriend, and others !

yourusername: guess i get to see my patient and his daddy all the time now, but hey! i’m definitely not complaining

tagged; lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco

lewishamilton: 😁😁😁

lewishamilton: guess i don’t have to make up excuses for roscoe to see you🤔

yourusername: knew there was a reason why you came to me saying roscoe ‘ate chocolate’ when he was magically healed otw from your house to my clinic🤔🤔

username: TOLD YALL HE WAS USING ROSCOE TO GET Y/N😭😭

username: LMAOOOO LEWIS IS SO😭😭

yourbestfriend: he’s a good man, y/n, a very good man

yourbestfriend: with money and a cute dog get that bag queen

yourusername: ??!-@;@2&:

username: no bc she’s so real, get that g wagon queen

username: lewis gonna end up w a house full of pets LMAO

username: WAIT WHATTT

username: roscoe ultimate wingman 🫡🫡🫡

username: imagine going to work only to see ur future bf there OOOU i should be a vet 😫

username: not only her future bf BUT LEWIS HAMILTON??

username: wait im living for this

#formula one x reader #f1 x reader #f1 smau #f1 scenario #formula one scenarios #f1 imagine #formula one imagines #formula one imagine #f1 scenarios #f1 social media au #lewis hamilton smau #lewis hamilton social media au #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton scenarios #lewis hamilton imagine

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love-belle · 9 months

Text

saw ur mom at the grocery store !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them hanging out with each other's families.

for when you find out that your second family is actually your ex's family. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

sequel - well, i'm still in love with you ·˚ ༘

warnings - language

author's note - hello!!!! a short one but i hope u like it <3 thank u sm for reading i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lorenzotl, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 797,427 others

yourusername saw ur mom at the grocery store i always knew she really did like me more

7,825 comments

username THE CAPTION

username i just gasped omg

username HELPHSHSKAKSJSKAK

username MAMA LECLERC AND Y/N

lorenzotl please return my mother

-> yourusername shush we're going shopping

username THE SHADEEEEE

username i know charles is shaking rn

-> username bro regrets introducing them 💀💀💀

username love that they're still so close like ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

carla.brocker stay right where you are, i'm on my way

-> yourusername already ordered a frappe for u <3

username I NEED CHARLES TO REACT TO THIS RN LIKE

username bro hurt her so bad she started rhyming

-> yourusername PLEASE

username why r u so pretty

username idk what happened just the fact that charles should be on his knees crying screaming throwing up for her to take him back

username the way pascale is always so "😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰😘😘😘😘☺️☺️☺️☺️" with her :///

arthur_leclerc pineapple is mad. i repeat pineapple is mad

-> yourusername hoes mad ur honour

-> username NOT CHARLES BEING PINEAPPLE

username THIS IS SO WHOLESOME (if we ignore the caption)

username should've known it was only a matter of time before y/n said something 💀💀💀💀💀

username queens

-> username icons

-> username girlbosses

username charles is fuming rn i Know it

lilymhe missing u ml

-> yourusername cannot wait to see u bb <3

username no bc why did i think for even a second that they ended on good terms.

username my two absolute girlbosses

charlotte2304 wowwwwwwww. guess my invitation got lost in mail huh?

-> yourusername we're literally going to dinner tonight??????

-> charlotte2304 okay and???????

-> yourusername join us!!!!! we can have a girls' day!!!!! carla is on her way too!!!!!! - pascale

-> charlotte2304 i'm halfway through the door love you!!!

username no bc all jokes aside i wonder how y/n and charles must be feeling with yk, both of them being close to each other's families and friends like

-> username no bc imagine having to stay in the same friend circle after u break up like that's so 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

username the caption punched me in the gut js saying

username she's the favourite child 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, landonorris and 868,525 others

charles_leclerc vacation with ex in-laws ❤️

8,627 comments

username NAH NO WAY

username OH MY GOD

username PLEASE

username charles being a petty bitch we love to see it

username NOT HIM GOING ON A WHOLE ASS VACATION WITH HIS EX'S FAMILY

arthur_leclerc that's where you had to go "so so so urgently"

-> charles_leclerc yeah !!!

username bro went on a vacation with her family bc she went grocery shopping with his mom 💀💀💀💀💀💀

username no bc he got the grandparents too

-> username HE GOT THE DOG

username y/n bout to move in his childhood home i can feel it

-> username they're both so stubborn and petty so i wouldn't be surprised at all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username him being close with her family after they split hits me in the heart idek why

lorenzotl maman says you should've told her, she wanted to see them too

-> charles_leclerc i invited them to dinner next week, tell her to not worry

username THIS IS SO

username no bc she went GROCERY SHOPPING with his mom and this mf went on a VACATION

username what'd they even talk about 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

-> username "your daughter is giving me grey hair" "you're not the only one, son"

*liked by charles_leclerc*

-> username PLEASE OMG

username i would do anything to be on this vacation

username kinda need y/n and charles to interact again

username IT'S ONLY 7AM WHAT THE FUCK

landonorris tell (your mom's name) i miss her cooking and her favourite son says hi

-> charles_leclerc she says she's going to the next race so she'll make something for you and no. i'm her favourite son

-> carlossainz55 pretty sure it's me

-> pierregasly no way

-> lewishamilton it's me actually

-> maxverstappen1 shut up it's me

-> danielricciardo it's me lmfao

-> yourmomsusername it's actually mick and roscoe

-> mickschumacher YES

-> username the way everyone is close to y/n's family :///

username y/n's next post "so i moved into my ex's childhood home lol"

-> username the way idk what to expect from her 💀

username alrightttt all jokes aside please get back together with mom ❤️

username no bc if they don't work out then there's no hope for me 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

#f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 imagines #social media au #fake instagram imagines #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc angst

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dbellaroseee · 1 year

Text

like/reblog and use © icons

#seon jin #jin icons #a good day to be a dog #a good day to be a dog icons #manhua #manhua icons #icons #boy icons

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astonmartinii · 9 months

Note

Hey, 👋🤗🤗

If you are still taking requests,

Can I ask for Toto wolff with Lewis Hamilton's older sister who is also a physiotherapist for Mercedes.

Big love 💝💝

falling for you | toto wolff social media au

pairing: toto wolff x hamilton!physiotherapist!reader

the mercedes team principle takes a bit of a tumble, and god forbid he takes advantage of the extra attention from his wife

masterlist

mercedesamgf1

liked by lewishamilton, mickschumacher and 1,093,778 others

tagged: yourusername

mercedesamgf1: we can confirm the big boss took a bit of a tumble earlier this afternoon, and we can confirm the only big injury was to his dignity. luckily for toto, mercedes physiotherapist y/n hamilton was on hand to look after him

view all comments

user1: bro i know that man is HEATED that sky had caught him falling

user2: i too would fall over and throw my back out for y/n hamilton to help me

lewishamilton: he's in good hands i can assure you

yourusername: you know it ;)

lewishamilton: okay don't make it weird

user3: i love how she said no to the merc uniform

yourusername: it's ugly :(

mercedesamgf1: y/n that's not nice

yourusername: my bad ... please still pay me

pierregasly: ouch i think i hurt my leg

lewishamilton: don't even go there

pierregasly: damn

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, lewishamilton and 301,871 others

yourusername: days off looking after this old man

view all comments

user4: okay but like they would be a hot couple

user5: i am seeing your vision

lewishamilton: how many tries did that picture take?

yourusername: only 12, toto isn't a complete caveman you know

user6: so they're actually on their own? i thought lewis would be with them

lewishamilton: god no, i wouldn't spend any extra time with those two, i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy

user7: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

user8: so... they're together?

georgerussell63: who let him out of the house looking like that?

yourusername: he's still your boss you know?

danielricciardo: russell george i am hurt that's a beautiful jumper

lewishamilton

liked. by yourusername, georgerussell63 and 1,309,876 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: family time

view all comments

user9: so we're just dropping the family bomb now?

user10: can y/n look after me after she gave me WHIPLASH

yourusername: yellow is so my colour oh wow

lewishamilton: i think it's our colour

landonorris: can it be all of our colour?

yourusername: no ❤️

user11: i am still not over lewis now considering toto family

georgerussell63: i am feeling left out

yourusername: well unless you leave carmen for roscoe tough luck

georgerussell63: can i not just have a good faith invite to family dinners?

yourusername: no carmen, no entry

carmenmundt: ❤️

mercedesamgf1

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 881,098 others

tagged: yourusername

mercedesamgf1: mama y papa

view all comments

user14: do they need a third? a dog? a maid? i'll do pretty much anything

user15: i love the fact that from toto faceplanting in the garage we got the reveal of the most iconic f1 couple ever (fight me)

yourusername: zoo wee mama who is that tall glass of water in the second slide 😮‍💨

lewishamilton: i may have wingmanned you but keep that stuff to yourself

yourusername: allow me to thirst over my fiance on main please

lewishamilton: he can't even see it though

yourusername: but yall can so you know to BACK OFF

user16: the way y/n is posted about by merc just as much as lewis at this point

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63 and 550,871 others

yourusername: he only needed a kiss to make it better

view all comments

user17: hey siri play that should be me by justin bieber

user18: the way this could be about either of them

lewishamilton: i'm never gonna hear the end of this am i?

yourusername: nope

georgerussell63: and i thought i was obnoxious on instagram

yourusername: careful georgie i have many photos of toto shirtless but their for my eyes only

georgerussell63: i don't want to see them

user19: we DO

user20: please share ma'am

user21: didn't your mum ever teach you that sharing is caring?

note: i know this is a bit short, but i hope you enjoyed nonetheless !!

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #toto wolff #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff imagine #toto wolff instagram au #toto wolff oneshot

2K notes · View notes

hockeyshmockey · 6 months

Text

Charles Leclerc SMAU

summary: in which charles and lewis' best friend are anything but discreet. charles leclerc x yn

warnings: none!!

liked by lewishamilton, susiewolff and 52,293 others

Yourusername my king roscoe Nicholas Stewart Hamilton 🥹

view 2,830 comments

Lewishamilton stop giving him middle names??

carmenmundt you. in the paddock. with roscoe. when?

yourusername after summer break I promise!

user oh to be yn

georgerussel you don’t need to come to the paddock really

Yourusername awwww scared I’ll steal your girl?

carmenmundt there’s no competition, she wins babe, sorry

liked by charlesleclerc

liked by mickschumacher, f1gridgossip and 58,293 others

yourusername it’s hard work being an icon and a legend

view 23,283 comments

landonorris so true, just ask roscoe!

yourusername ok fair

charlesleclerc true

user nah what is Charles doing here, this one isn’t friends with his ex

lewishamilton please come back to the garage, you took my dog?

yourusername I think you’re the only one who hasn’t realized we co parent at this point

twitter

forzaferrari

No bc why is Charles hanging w Lewis and roscoe recently?

leclercStan

I’m calling it now he’s with yn

lh44

That’s a reach my guy

Forzaferrari

no wait bc why does that kind of add up????

liked by roscoelovescoco, landonorris and 59,202 others

location Monaco

yourusername smize!

view 12,393 comments

Carla.brocker so stunning!

user hmmmmmm

arthurleclerc you may be my new favorite partner in crime

charlesleclerc nice photo!

user lmao Charles you can be a little more dry

liked by lh44, f1gridgossip and 1,490,283 others

charlesleclerc a good time had by all but now it’s back to racing

view 502,820 comments

yourusername life alert

yourusername I’ve fallen and I can’t get up

user nah bc yn is so real for that

arthurleclerc put on some clothes

liked by 9,203 users

F1gridgossip sent in! A fan spotted Mr Charles leclerc in Monaco today walking with his arm around a mystery blonde. This follows reports that a blonde also spent the day on his yacht with his family over the break. Could he be off the market once more?

view 672 comments

user tell me that’s not yn

user gotta be her!!!

user I swear I saw her walking roscoe and meeting up with a familiar looking brunette

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz and 68,829 others

yourusername like will smith said: keep my wife’s name out your mouth!

view 22,383 comments

Lewishamilton I really don’t know what you were trying to do here

user gurrlllll

charlesleclerc bebe🫶🏻

Yourusername I was going for mysterious but okay then

#f1 #formula one imagine #formula one #f1 imagine #f1 driver #f1 driver imagine #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 driver #imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fluff #instagram edit #instagram #smau

598 notes · View notes

ionlytalktodogs · 2 years

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Every time someone in public comments on how well behaved my dog, George Cecil Gershwin Palmer Zero Hot Dog Babykins Banana Fo Fana the Fourth, is my mom goes on this long monologue about how we rescued him from a local shelter at 10 years old and he’s never had any behavioral issues and he’s healthier cuz he’s a mix and that’s why you too should rescue from a local shelter and every time I stay quiet because what she’s saying is absolutely right………just not for our dog. He shits on the floor every day.

#he has no reason to #he just does cuz he feels like it #we walk him outside for hours every day #and he pees on everything to claim his territory #then he promptly goes inside #and shits on the floor #anyway yes we do name all our dogs after jazz icons next question #for the record out of all our rescues #he’s the second best behaved #and he’s a very good boy otherwise so 🤷#he can shit on the floor. as a treat #dogs #dog #chihuahua #chihuahua dachsund #chiweenie

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charliemwrites · 4 months

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it is my borfday. I am now 20 whole years. So I ask: 1fur1 reaction to readers borfday? I have 1fur1 thoughts but they aren't ready yet... They're still cooking

Happy Borfday!!!!! Two decades 🎉🎉

Okay just for you, bean - I’ll make it a full part too, even. This is very fluffy up until the end when it gets just a hint of spice.

(No human boys in this one, sorry!)

You haven’t said a word about it all week - and why would you? You live alone with three dogs. It’s not like they care that it’s your birthday; or even understand what time is, really. (Except for dinner time of course.)

But the day of your birthday dawns, a little rainy. You let yourself sleep in a bit, mumbling five more minutes three times in a row when Ghost nudges impatiently at your cheek.

Eventually you do get up though, giving each of your boys a crooning “good morning” and laying kisses on their precious heads. You stumble to the kitchen to start your coffee, even pull out the fancy beans you reserve for special occasions. While it’s brewing, you start gearing up the boys for their morning potty. The precipitation is mostly mist right now, but you’d rather them not smell like wet dog.

You’re trying to belt a wiggly, impatient Johnny in when your phone rings. Huffing, you tap at the speaker icon and try to wrestle the stupid hood over his big-ass ears.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart!” your mom trills through the phone.

At the noise, Johnny thankfully goes still. You finish securing his raincoat and turn to Konig. Thankfully, he’s much more cooperative about getting dressed - even if he takes every opportunity to lick your face.

“Uh, thanks,” you answer. Honestly, you were hoping she’d forget.

“What are you doing today to celebrate? Going out with friends? Maybe a date…?”

You roll your eyes as you finish adjusting Konig’s (custom) raincoat.

“Definitely not. I was just gonna stay in, order some food, drink some wine…”

You haven’t even finished before your mother is protesting.

“No, no, no, you need to do something special! Not every day is your birthday.”

And thank fuck for that, you think, shaking your head.

“It’s not that big a deal,” you insist. The boys crowd as you lead the way to the back door and prop it open. They seem oddly reluctant to leave your side. You assume it’s the rain and shoo them off, your mother still on speaker.

“Well if you won’t do anything, I will.”

“Ma, you really don’t need to—“

“Dinner will be at 6:30. Don’t be late!”

And she hangs up. You groan, run a hand down your face. Well. At least it’s only dinner. You can still do the rest of your plans.

“Boys!” you call, noting that they’re mostly just congregating at the edge of the yard. They instantly return to your side, even Johnny - who has a tendency to make you chase him in the rain.

They each file inside, sit and behave while you remove their raincoats and hang them to dry. As usual, they follow and crowd while you make up your coffee. Add a bit of whiskey just for fun; you won’t need to drive for a while.

The boys climb onto the couch with you, happily arranging themselves in a warm circle. Konig at your back like a living pillow. Johnny on your right, head in your lap. Ghost just in front, pressed against your shins and warming your feet.

You settle in with a contented sigh and sip your coffee. Even put on a show you’ve been meaning to get to.

Midway through the episode, Ghost slips off the couch and slinks off. You notice in the back of your mind, but he tends to be the moodiest of your boys and figure he just wants some alone time.

When he comes back, you hum at him, kissing his muzzle as he takes your other side. As the next episode is loading, Johnny hops down.

“Biiiiig stretch,” you coo, grinning as his back legs extend. He wags, licks your hand in parting, and trots off. You hear the doggy door clatter, figure he didn’t do all his business after all.

About an hour later, the doorbell chimes. You jump, but… the boys are oddly quiet. Usually they’d be rioting that someone dares come to the door. This time, though alert, not so much as a growl.

Put off, you pad to the door and check the peephole. Just a delivery man with a… frankly monstrous bouquet.

You open the door, prepared to tell him that he’s made a mistake. But he says your name and address and tells you happy birthday, gently handing it over.

You blink as he saunters back to the truck, almost don’t notice Ghost standing sentinel right beside you.

“Huh,” you muse, finding him watching you. “Who d’you think ordered me flowers?”

He makes a little “ruff” noise. You snort and close the door. It’s a beautiful arrangement, you must admit. All your favorites. It even came in a vase!

You inhale the sweet scent and sigh, unable to keep from smiling. Usually you think flower arrangements are a bit silly, so expensive for something that will last so little time. But it’s been ages since you last got one and someone clearly put thought into it.

You offer each of the pups a sniff, laughing when Konig sneezes a bit. You set the vase on the kitchen counter where it won’t become a casualty of any enthusiastic tails and you’ll get to look at it regularly. Try to look for a card but there isn’t one.

Hopefully, whoever sent it will reveal themselves by asking if you like it.

You settle on the couch again with a lingering smile, scratching at Ghost’s ears when he presses his face against your shoulder.

Another hour passes in peace when there’s another knock at the door. Again, the dogs stay eerily quiet. This time, you’re greeted with a huge bag of items.

You unpack it on the couch, Johnny sitting by your knee. A new plush blanket, a pretty mug, a video game you’ve heard good things about, the next book on your reading list, your favorite candies, and even an expensive new pair of headphones (since Johnny ruined your last ones).

You let him sniff curiously at each item, amused by his involvement in your gift unwrapping.

“Wow,” you breathe, staring at your pile of gifts. “This is more than I’ve gotten in years. I don’t even know what to do with it all.”

You start by eating some of the candies. Johnny’s tail wags furiously the entire time, even when you remind him that candy is Not For Him.

At some point in all the craziness, Konig’s scurried off somewhere. Not surprising, you figure. All the guests must have made him shy. He’s not a fan of really anyone but you.

Eventually he returns, though, and you’re sure to welcome him back with praises and kisses before he climbs into his spot. You happily return to your show, scratching absently at your snuggly pack.

Just around noon, there’s one last knock at the door. Your favorite takeout place, including a box of the really good German pastries that you never let yourself get more than once every other week. Fresh baked too!

You hum happily as you eat, wishing you knew who to thank for it.

“I feel utterly spoiled,” you laugh as you save the rest of the pastries for later. “I definitely don’t deserve all this.”

A deep bark nearly startles you. Konig. He hardly ever makes a peep!

“Listen to you, baby!” you coo, wiggling your fingers to entice him closer. He comes to your side instantly, chin on your stomach, staring up at you with big mismatched eyes. “Such a lovely voice. Ich liebe dich, Herr Konig.”

He wags happily at you, a big, silly canine grin on his face. When you duck down to hug him, he leaves kisses all over your face and neck.

By evening, you’re in a good enough mood that you’re not completely dreading the visit to your parents’ house. You get dressed, kiss each of your boys goodbye, and leave.

It’s not… bad per se. Sure, your mom makes your sister’s favorite meal, and your dad doesn’t even realize why you’re there at first. Your sister’s husband also keeps making weird comments about you being single and your biological “clock” but—

Well, you’re just there for dinner. At least your mom made homemade cookies; a classic you’ve always enjoyed. But not even that is enough to make you stay longer than absolutely necessary, making your excuses that Konig still gets separation anxiety.

The drive home is long and you feel exhausted from putting on the “grateful daughter” song and dance. When you pull up to the house, though, you perk up when you see another package.

It’s a… basket? You carry it inside, too dark to see what it is on the porch. Immediately greeted by the boys, you don’t get a chance to look at it at first. But once you do…

It’s a self care basket, you think. A ridiculously nice bottle of wine, a bath bomb, body cream, sugar scrub… a bottle of the lube you always use. New lingerie. A toy. Not just any toy either. One you’ve been putting off buying because it’s close to a hundred pounds and you’ve got three big boys to feed.

At first you think it’s your ex but…. No. No, everything in this basket is things you’d pick for yourself. Things he never knew you well enough to buy. And he’s too cheap besides - and too much of a stuck up dick to ever dream of patronizing adult toys.

You hesitate over it. But….. well, you’ve already brought it inside. Doesn’t matter if you use any of it or not; and it’s stupid to let it go to waste.

So you feed the dogs and wander to your room.

And it. Is. Decadent.

You linger in the bathtub for way too long, giggling at the sparkles in the water, sipping wine and nibbling on German pastries. Even sacrificed one of the roses from the bouquet to let the petals float in the water. Start the first couple chapters of your birthday book, sigh and talk nonsense to your boys, all of them lingering in the doorway but behaving.

And when you finally get to bed, you run the battery out achieving your “birthday orgasms”. (Remain shockingly uninterrupted by any of the boys.)

Sometime before midnight your dream of gentle hands cleaning you up, pressing kisses everywhere. Voices whispering “love you” and “happy birthday”.

It’s the best one to date.

(Again, happy borfday!! I love you and I hope this was a good gift 💕)

#asks #thoughts™️#my writing #fanfiction #reader fic #1fur1 #woof woof johnny #woof woof au

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