#accept what you can’t change

[thedandeliongarden]

I think I’m gonna retract some things I’ve said before here.. or at least reassess them more softly.

I don’t like the word queer. I hate having it used to describe me and folk around me. It’s rooted in etymology meaning perverse/strange. That’s.. kinda bad all told.

But I can’t drag my feet on accepting how popular the blasted word is among fellow LGBT+ folk. I’m obviously not on the winning side for this one. Fuck, almost nobody cares about the etymology when they have been told.

And the other slurs? Fuck it. I would rather be using the amusingly apt descriptions of “a bundle of sticks” and “a ditch or watercourse” (faggot and dyke respectively) than trying to police what words my allies are using to describe themselves.

We just can’t be out here doing the enemy’s work for them (dividing ourselves)

Don’t call me queer.

But fuck it, I’m leaving this hill to die on another one, find me yelling about objective morality and alignment charts or whatever

#pick your battles #accept what you can’t change #queer #lgbt+ #for a kinder world!

[phoenixkaptain]

I feel it’s a disservice to the character to make Dick out to be younger than he actually is.

Dick Grayson is a power fantasy, same as Bruce Wayne is, but he’s a very different type of power fantasy. This is mainly because he isn’t for the same type of audience. He isn’t for adults to relate to, he’s for teens to relate to.

What do I mean? Well, I don’t think we actually get many confirmations on Dick’s age. When he joins Bruce, there are a few clues to his age, but nothing really substantive. He’s old enough to know that his parents are dead; he has an understanding of what death is. He’s young enough that while adults seem to like him, they don’t take him very seriously. He isn’t particularly tall, but when he’s shown around actual children, he is quite a bit taller than them, I’d say at least a foot, and he is portrayed as a bit taller than most of his peers (peers that aren’t superheroes! Dick is always very nearly the shortest member of Teen Titans, but that’s not fair to judge him on because superheroes are huge) He’s young enough to attend a private boy’s school for undercover, and he’s young enough that younger children seem to trust him enough to do what he tells them to.

If I had to make a guess as to how old I thought Dick Grayson was, I would say 13-15, but leaning heavily on the 15 end. His personality is pretty set for most comics you read him in (barring extremities) which implies he’s developed a good portion of it already. And, to be honest, even if Bruce and Dick first met when Dick was 13, he didn’t become Robin until he was 14. He’s portrayed as either being taken in but trained for several months (I’d give him a low estimate of six months. He needs to learn science. He may be physically fit, but that doesn’t mean that he’s mentally ready) or taking a period of time in an orphanage, being taken in, then spending several months training. Dick becoming Robin wasn’t instant. I always assume he’s 15 when I read early comics because Dick’s brand of petulance - being annoyed at something Bruce said and snapping back with verbal quips, taking Bruce’s instructions and patiently listening to them for all of, at most, an hour before running off to do the opposite, judging Bruce for going out without him - feels like a mid-teen.

So, why is Dick a power fantasy? Well, he’s the embodiment of teenage desire:

Adults listen to him.

The main one is Bruce. Bruce Wayne, who is rich and notoriously a loner and who is considered a detective on the level of Sherlock Holmes, listens to Dick and never doubts him. He takes what Dick says at face value, he talks to Dick to spitball ideas at him, he answers any question Dick asks him and he never seems particularly impatient in doing so. He tells Dick that they’re partners and equals, and he treats him as a partner and an equal.

And there are other adults. Robin is famous in early canon. Everyone knows who he is. Adults in other towns don’t listen to their own children, but they listen to Robin because they kind of have to. I assume people who bully Robin are sent Batman’s patented, ‘live bat in a box mailed to the door.’ (I assume this because it’s funny, mostly.) But no matter why they listen to Dick - they do actually actively listen to him and try to improve in the ways he suggests.

This is what every teenager dreams of. Dick Grayson, a mere teenager who probably can’t legally drive a car yet, has the respect of adults around the globe.

Robin almost always has the respect of at least one adult, that being Bruce, no matter who is actually Robin at the time. I haven’t read many Jason comics, so I can’t say for sure on him, but Bruce treats Tim as an equal. He listens to him, and while he’s protective of him, he trusts that Tim can do things alone.

The only real example of Bruce treating Robin like a child comes with Damian. And even in the cass of Damian, he still makes an effort to listen to Damian and not ignore him. Which, the reason he treats Damian differently is because Damian is a child. I don’t think Damian is even 10 when we first meet him, let alone 13. I think, later on, he’s around 11-12, but Damian just doesn’t start as old as every other Robin. It’s necessary for Bruce to treat him differently.

“Well, what about comics where the adults, including Bruce, are terrible and don’t listen to Robin at all?”

I consider these an example of we in the intellectual world call: bullshit.

I’m sorry, but nine times out of ten, Bruce listens to Dick and praises Dick and believes in Dick ten thousand percent. The Bruce who doesn’t listen to Dick just isn’t Bruce. I don’t know who this poser is, but it’s literally impossible to him to be Bruce. It’s worse than bad writing, it’s blatant mischaracterization and a lazy plot device. Bruce would die for Dick without a second thought, he loves and respects Dick more than anyone. This man cannot physically or mentally resist the urge to listen to Robin and pat his back and say “we all make mistakes, chum, don’t worry about it.”

I need to emphasize here that Dick does the complete opposite of what Bruce tells him to multiple times, and end up kidnapped or in a tight spot for his efforts, and Bruce just isn’t upset. He’s worried, but he doesn’t even fucking care. He doesn’t get mad at Dick, I feel like he can’t even look at Dick without feeling a bit happy, there’s no way- are you really trying to tell me that Bruce goddamn Wayne would blame Robin for not preventing a crime that DiCK WASN’T EVEN PRESENT DURING?? He wasn’t even fucking there, he was off getting a police officer! You know, an adult! Because there was a crazy gunman shooting up a rally, what the actual fuck is Robin, a mortal child, supposed to do against an adult gunman twice his fucking height??? What did you want him to do, Bruce, get fucking shot? Because that’s what would have fucking happened, you absolute lunatic piece of shit, you want him to goddamn die to save one fucking person-

Ahem.

For the majority of comics, Dick represents teenagers. He fulfills that desire that teenagers have, the desire to be listened to and trusted. Dick is the first person in comics to ever know that Bruce Wayne is Batman. And while timelines shift and change, Bruce and Dick’s mutual respect for each other doesn’t. They get mad at each other later on down the line, but for a good 40 years, Bruce talked to Dick more than his own fiancée.

Dick isn’t a child. He and Bruce never met when he was a child. Dick also isn’t an adult. He still has a few years that he needs to spend growing into an adult. He’s that middle ground we all faced. That awkward period where adults expect you to act like an adult but don’t treat you like one. The power fantasy inherent in the character of Robin is that adults treat him like an adult while allowing him to make mistakes and act like a child.

#the inane ramblings of a madman #dc #batman #robin #dick grayson #bruce wayne #long post #detective comics #‘what was that long ramble in the middle there kacie?’ #what long ramble i don’t see a long ramble #bruce being a bad parent is so far from canon #especially early canon #because bruce wasn’t dick’s parent yeah but also #because bruce cares for and trusts and just plain loves his boy #and dick grudgingly accepts that affection while mostly making fun of him #they are the epitome #of an owner cuddling their cat and the cat limply dangling because it knows it will get a treat afterwards #that’s them #that’s their relationship #change my mind - you can’t

[sophfandoms53]

MARCY BEING THE PIECE ANDRIAS NEEDED TO REMIND HIMSELF OF WHAT HE ONCE HAD AND THAT ITS OKAY TO OPEN HIS HEART FUCKED ME UP MORE THAN IT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE

#BRO I LOVE THIS MAN #SUCH A FANTASTIC VILLAIN AND CHARACTER #they made him so complex and sympathetic without justifying anything he’s done #he even admits that it’s too late bc of all the damage he’s done #it’s hard for me to say if this is a redemption cuz I saw others saying that #like ya he acknowledged he messed up #but he also admitted he can’t fix it #it’s why he just accepts his fate and lets Anne attack him #but accepting that you messed up isn’t rlly a redemption #you gotta rlly change and prove that you’ve redeemed yourself #ya he was and probably still is willing to die #but that doesn’t change what he did or anything y’know #a ‘death’ could be redemption in some sense and I know that #but I just don’t think that’s the right word for Andrias’ character? #at least rn that can change next week #amphibia #amphibia spoilers #amphibia all in #king andrias #marcy wu

[exhalebabes]

Having sabr with constant bouts of illness is so difficult. Idk if I’ll ever get the hang of it. May Allah make it easier for me.

#it’s the cancelled plans #time loss #time spent in fetal position #watching the world carry on around you #I need to learn accept what I can’t change #and that my life will always be unpredictable

[viviennelamb]

Non-spiritual people don’t realize how alienating it is to be in a soulless/Godless society and how off putting it is to be told to throw our faith away to have a bigger community. This isn’t a popularity contest and it’s not about activism, it’s about maintaining peace.

#this is why I don’t do community anyways ppl can’t accept you for who you are & try to change ppl #there’s no point in joining something and being half dead when you can be alone and do what you please #there’s nothing homogenous about spirituality either it’s different to each person

[coolestfinch]

btw. a lot of my opinions about certain lgbt related topics/“discourse” have changed, & many have not. what i have learned is that i do not need, nor want, to share these opinions with anybody especially strangers on tumblr unless they ask in good faith. overall my take is that if you don’t bother me, & you don’t spout weird shit online, then we’re cool. nothing like that will ever be that big of a deal in the grand scheme of lgbt liberation

#& if you think this is me *backpedalling* then idk what to tell you #you have a severely immature way of seeing the world & you will never change. if you can’t accept that other people do #my post

[starcrossedandstupid]

Do you ever see someone do something and you just go

‘wow that’s so sweet. why not me, pretty please?’ And then keep it to yourself forever because you think it’s stupid

me neither haha wdym what are you talking about

#like I just just be happy with what I get yk #and I can’t control who anyone gives that sort of thing to #if it isn’t me I don’t want to force them to by asking #like if they wouldn’t naturally I don’t want to make anyone do anything #I’m such a hypocrite though #because I would want other people to tell me #but I’ve accepted that #because I don’t speak for everyone anyways #but it’s just super sweet and I find out why someone is doing it #And I’m like #hmmm #same bestie #but sounds like either you don’t care or I hide better than whoever #probably both tbh #but it’s hold everyone else is dealing my cards #so who am I to change it lmao #shittier post #if you know me irl just assume this isn’t about you btw #will they see it roulette

[robo-ruby]

I need y’all to understand that the significant risk of Trump winning in November comes down to Biden’s steadfast refusal to sincerely reconsider his unwavering political and material support for Israel’s genocide in Palestine.

His staff told him directly in January, when the death toll stood at more than 20,000, his poll numbers fell because of his “handling of the war between Israel and Hamas” (the only reference to the war or even Gaza in the entire article) and he concluded the problem was instead “communication” and “messaging.”

This is why stories “leaked” about his frustration with Netanyahu. This is why the US began calling for a “ceasefire” instead of a “pause,” even though their goal for a temporary halt had not changed.

It is also why they’ve insisted on delivering aid through extremely inefficient and dangerous methods like airdrops, to get headlines and photos instead of forcing Israel to allow more trucks in. It’s why they are building a floating port off the Gazan coast even though the US defunded UNRWA and no one will be able coordinate aid distribution. These are decisions motivated by politics, not policy.

The campaign to frighten and shame people into voting for him has already started. But please notice that none of them call for Biden to change course or even acknowledge the genocide in connection with people’s hesitance and refusal. Biden has the power to make all of that stop, but he has to use it.

#to be clear #i am not saying the idea of Trump coming back isn’t scary as shit #or even that you shouldn’t vote #but what i will not accept is the suggestion that we can’t demand change for our vote #or that Biden has done all he can #gaza strip #free gaza #free Palestine

[rosicheeks]

😬

#starting a new job #and idk if it’s just me #but whenever I start a new job I’m always scared I made the wrong decision #I’ve had so many shitty jobs and have been in so many shitty situations #I refuse to do that again #I have a lot more faith in this job cause it’s working with dogs and not that many people #but still #it doesn’t have any benefits and the starting pay is lower than I was hoping to get #when I called back and accepted the offer I told him I’ll probably have to get a job on top of this and blah blah blah #and I could just tell the mood change #I’m like #idk if you think someone can live off of $15 an hour part time you are delusional #also my 26th birthday (GROSS 🤮🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮) is fast approaching #I know it’s a few months away still but I’m fucking FREAKING OUT #I still have so much to do before I’m off my parents insurance #and what happens if I don’t have a job with insurance and benefits and shit #am I just fucked #I probably just need some sleep cause I can’t think properly right now #it’s 10am and I still haven’t gone to bed yet #ha ha ha #shut up rosie

[falinscloaca]

my sympathy for vegans getting a flood of “DEBATE MEEEE” comments versus my frustration that their explanations and reasoning for vegan-ness still being fucking shit

#‘why are you arguing against someones life choices! their behavior isn’t a reflection on you!’ well A) i’m not actuall the one being critica #critical in this scenario i know better than to actually involve myself in that shit #b) Once You Start Making Ethical Arguments That Inherently Involves Everybody Fucking Else #AND THEN WHEN YOUR ARGUMENTS HAVE HOLES IT JUST. ACK #sorry but regaurdless of whether humans bred chickens or sheep to produce a surplus of That Stuff We Get From Them doesn’t make the fact tha #that harvesting that surplus SHOULD BE (not IS) harmless irrelevant #think i fucked up the grammer there. love how you can’t see the whole tag in the tags system #on mobile i mean #and like. suggesting selective breeding to REMOVE traits humans tampered into animals is still fuckin assumptive of what we even actually #meddled with #like jfc. veganism is an entirely fucking rational response to the animal industry’s plethora of degredations towards dignity and life #JUST CITE THAT #and while the plant agriculture industry is also completely fucked people still rely on it moreso than meat thus the demand is inelastic #and also theres hypothetically more room for actually ethical consumption. probably #veganism isnt INHERENTLY a step towards more ethical environmental practices but done not-catastrophically-wrong its stil a fucking improvem #improvement! and likewise it isn’t the ONLY road to making shit more ethical at least if you can accept that there is some ideal ‘ethical an #‘ethical animal agriculture’ that exists as a possibility out there #not to mention the whole ‘personal choices versus systemic change’ thing and how whe our politics affect our personal consumption that doesn #‘t really mean dick-all compared to actual collective efforts

[seaglassdinosaur]

Remembering that two long-running arcs of the Origami Yoda series regarding Dwight were his classmates becoming real friends with him as they stop seeing him as the ‘weird kid’ and connecting with him as a person, and Dwight starting and continuing to date Caroline, the girl he likes. These arcs present to the (presumably neurotypical) audience, an autistic-coded character as someone nuanced and human, who is capable and desirable as a partner and friend, encouraging the idea of looking past dismissive judgements of strangeness and to try to understand people, and even if you can’t, accept them and appreciate them for who they are.

#I am having thoughts and feelings abt origami yoda agin #because like. those are the major arcs w Dwight-the ones that aren’t kept to one book alone #it’s nice seeing them go from kinda just tolerating Dwight because he’s a similar outcast and they need yoda #to them actually liking him and wanting to spend time w him (see the museum visit when tommy is ditched by kellen for Dwight) #and Dwight never magically changes to become ‘normal’. the closest he gets is when he’s at that private school which is observed as kind of #stifling? to all the things that make Dwight interesting and creative #nah the series goes on and Dwight still stims and gets sidetracked by his special interests either to his benefit or detriment #but none of the kids have a problem with him for it. they get that it’s Dwight and these are the things he does #they don’t have a ton of moments of insight into dwight. they talk but they don’t dissect their conversations to parse out what he means #and that makes their communication of messages a little tricky #but the thing is: even though Dwight doesn’t tell them in a way they understand why say the rib bq is so important to him #or why he stims or what sensory issues he has because they might not have the language #even though they don’t have that passage of conversation clicked up #they accept these things as a part of him. and I think that’s a nice message to send. #maybe you won’t fully understand the people in your life but you should try. and even if you can’t you should accept them. quirks and all. #the strange case of origami yoda #origami yoda series #my post #tscooy

[paldogangsaan]

i love the idea of tory and sam becoming friends as much as the next person but are we ever going to acknowledge that tory broke into sam’s house, tried to kill her and hasn’t apologized?? and is probably never going to apologize?? and are we also going to acknowledge that sam doesn’t owe tory anything and therefore it makes sense that she doesn’t want to hear her out or help her when she comes knocking?? like yeah they’ve both been mean and rude to each other but yall act like tory’s a saint and sam is the devil when sam hasn’t gone out of her way to try to kill/maim tory

#like tory literally gave sam physical scars #and broke into her HOUSE and tried to KILL her and yall act like that’s fine #like i genuinely can’t get behind tory and sam being friends unless they both apologize #sam started the ‘rivalry’ but tory escalated it to a point where it didnt need to go #and yeah she was being manipulated by cobra kai but that doesnt change the fact that she needs to apologize #and i know that the writers wont ever put that in and even if they did yall would still find a way to paint sam as the villain #yalls hate for her is fucking visceral #yall see tory try to kill sam and go ‘girlboss!’ and then when sam doesnt want to hear her out yall hate her #and tbh sam didnt have to accept tory’s attempts at peace in (what i think is) s3 because again tory tried to kill her #and most of the fandom brushes that aside #also if the situations were reversed i KNOW yall would still be on tory’s side #and most of you will never acknowledge that tory’s past/home life wont ever excuse her trying to kill sam #yall love to talk about wanting to see women be allowed to be angry and enraged but when it’s sam yall hate it #like #if you don’t like sam that’s fine but don’t be fucking stupid #cobra kai #sam larusso #samantha larusso #and the thing is even if tory does apologize sam doesnt have to forgive her lmfao #like i know she will #and if she doesnt yall will literally call her satan incarnate #but she doesnt HAVE to #and highkey it’d be more interesting for their dynamic if sam and tory were ‘friends’ but sam made it explicitly clear that she will #never forgive tory for breaking into her house trying to kill her and repeatedly taunting her/seeking out fights #and sam also acknowledging that tory was manipulated but that doesnt make what tory did okay nor does it erase the trauma sam went through

[sharkieboi]

it’s my weekend and I don’t have any appointments and it’s been snowing since like 2am so I’m having an indoor day to keep slowly organizing the new apartment and on purpose didn’t take my adhd meds (only have a few left and I’d rather save them for work if I’m going to have trouble refilling with all the weather closures) and Soup Brain certainly hits different when it’s not a workday. the lack of focus and memory still isn’t helpful but at least it doesn’t feel harmful when I forget what I’m supposed to be doing for an extended period of time.

#shhh sharkie #idk how to write anything simple without rambling so this is what you get #been slowly working on making big unorganized piles into smaller more organized piles and putting Away away what I can #it’s been a work in progress!! #at some point I need to go get furniture to replace what I left at the old place but we’ll get there when we get there #and to fill in new needs gaps #i’m still kinda mad I left the table cause I really liked it but I was so tired and frustrated trying to take it apart and it wasnt worth it #but anyway. I like the new place and it’s doing well for me and Sansa and I can’t wait for it to be acceptable enough to have people over!! #OH YEAH ANYWAY. SOUP BRAIN. #sometimes i wonder how i functioned at all before meds. my life is so much better and easier now. #it’s still difficult and sad and hard but! it’s so much easier to deal with all that stuff!! it doesn’t break me like it used to. #even on a day like today where i only took my anxiety meds and not my adhd meds #i haven’t gotten any of my written down tasks done (dishes and changing my sheets) but i have organized the crap out of several piles #(all of my costume stuff is in one box now! most of knick knacks are in the same box or on display!) #(I took out the trash! I put all the laundry in the laundry bag!) #little victories add up

[tigerbiteapothecary]

I have my good childhood memories of the old Disney movies I’ve loved…..but you could not pay me all the money in the world to give two fucks about a single thing Disney related anymore. Movies. Songs. Merchandise. Especially anything new. I’m sick of the bs and it’s not even the worst of it that’s pissed me off. With its total lack of respect to its original characters and storylines, and who they were and what they were created so specifically to look like and their unique personalities by instead changing that and going with the bizarre “need for diversity and inclusion”. Ohhh no no no that’s not what’s sent me into this small rant completely.

Let me tell you this. When I learned that they held in limbo a story about child sex trafficking, and the heroic people who hunt these sick fucks down to free kids, and didn’t release it. This incredible movie being, Sound of Freedom. I was disgusted. Still am.

They held it for five years. Not once did they make an attempt to release it to the public. This movie was only shown publicly because another studio bought the rights back because of fucking course Disney doesn’t give a shit about children in sexual slavery. Nah, they got a reputation to uphold or whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. They’re a giant piece of Hollywood. And Hollywood loves to keep big money pedos in high places. No. Fuck Hollywood and Fuck Disney.

#I do not accept what they have become #I do not accept what they have turned into #I do not accept nor agree with the people who have done this #fuck em #disney #Disney plus #disney movies #they’re fucking up classic films and changing the morals and values of their characters #not paying workers enough or fairly #and their representation for stuff is ass and lazy #down with the mouse or do better because Jesus Christ if not I hope they go down in flames #and I’m not saying you can’t love your favorite characters or refrain from drawing them #do that. it’s better then buying shit from them

[eye-of-yelough]

Cicero’s copied my war paint… okay.

#also My Guys fave is stuck in combat mode. I dunno what to do. I guess just accept that he’s an angry boy #sorry for poor quality #Skyrim #poor Cole.. he looks nothing like what he looks like in my head anymore #rip beauty of Skyrim mod that let me give bosmer grey skin and added cool new war paint options. I miss you #at least I have a few screenshots from the time 😌 all is not lost #also Need to workshop his name. I can’t have two Skyrim ocs named after dragon age characters it’s insane #oc Aeryn #<- I changed his name

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

Brain is braining too much me thinks

#thoughts #oni talks #oni vents #I feel like I’m being torn between 2 futures and I know one isn’t really realistic and is a thing of the past but it’s also like #not only does it feel like giving up but it also feels like I’d have to face the fact that I can’t go back and unexperience some things #that changed me as a person and I know me wanting to go down that path is me trying to go back to when I first started feeling hope for #life again (if I ever had that tbh) & it’s meant so much to me for so long and like I know that I 100% would not be able to have achieved #any of what I’ve achieved now if I hadn’t started that first path. the fact that the second one is even an option is because of the first. #I also wonder how much is on me & it compounds in the severe regret I’ve been having about some recent stuff in my life along with recurrent #realizations and nightmares of the past haunting me & just. it’s so painful I know maybe I’m being dramatic and there’s a possibility that #in the future if it will work out and I can have my cake and eat it too but I genuinely don’t know how realistic that is to achieve #I want to be able to recapture the feelings I had before but there are certain experiences that so thouroughly crushed the person I had #finally begun to build up that I don’t know if that’s truly possible & if I just have to accept that I need to change to face who I am now #I’ve been really stuck recently when it comes to getting better and I know why but I’ve also blocked out so much of it that it’s just like #hard to even work through things you just want to forget and act like they never happened because that’s easier & logically I know it doesnt #work that way but it still feels painful. I feel the weight of my mistakes on my shoulders again. & it’s been resulting in what I know is #a lot of self sabotage & I feel like I should be better than this but I’m not I feel like I’ve regressed & like it wasn’t that long ago that #I literally felt like I was a kid again it was so surreal and strange & gross & I just hate so much of what’s happened in my life but I also #know there’s a lot of good that’s come from it & so it’s hard to process all these awful things when I know if they weren’t there the stuff #that I do love wouldn’t be either. it’s really hard to hope for a future I’ve never experienced. I’ve been meeting so many new people & its #reminded me of how anxious I actually am as a person bc normally I don’t have to face that bc I am by myself or in specific scenarios I’ve #cultivated to be tolerable & i feel like I keep learning things about myself or my experiences that I just don’t want to learn or to exist #& it’s frustrating bc there’s also so much pressure not just from myself but other ppl that I want to be able to pull through & do things #I know are probably not the most realistic but then a part of me is angry at myself at being a coward & wondering if I’m just awful & broken #I’ve been trying to fight back in what ways I can and the results have (usually) been really good but they come with their own prices #I hate how easy it’s become to simultaneously prefer escapism while not feeling like things are bad enough or that there is no escapism #I hate that I keep having moments where I get things and then I just fall again & Ik I’ll get there eventually but I’ve lost so much hope #that I don’t know if it’s even possible to ever get back. the last year or so is just so many ups and downs and new things and idk #I feel so torn because this is a future I foresaw and even wanted at some point and now it feels so heavy & costly & I just feel #like I’m evil & irredeemable or smth & every time I get told the opposite a part of me immediately can’t accept it especially