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chaoticevilbean · 3 years

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Voltron Humans are Weird 6/?

The Paladins had once again won an intense battle. It had been on the planet Cygoth, which was home to a group of humanoids. The Cygi, as they were called, had skin in shades of pale pinks and purples and blues. Their heads were like those of bald humans, but with upside down ears and eyes like felines. Instead of five fingers and five toes, the Cygi had four fingers and six toes, to aid them in their strange environment, along with bug-like wings that hid under hard green and yellow shells.

Said environment was one with 'extreme weather conditions' and 'toxic' rain. The Cygi lived in caves that were on a large cliffside. Since the elements often got within the rocks and all the animals were terrestrial and highly territorial, the aliens would hang upside down and crawl across the ceilings like spiders. They also collected rare minerals that grew down to build their homes and helped them grow food in their strange way of living.

It was these minerals that the Galra wanted. Stronger than 98.97% of all other metals or rocks, they could be used to create impenetrable ships and armor. The Cygi had called Voltron to Cygoth to aid them in protecting their resources and freedom. After they had succeeded, and it became clear that the team only wanted to help, no reward necessary, the leader of the Cygi offered an alliance. New armor and some upgrades for the Paladins and Castle, an increased amount of trade for the aliens, and a plethora of allies for both because of their union.

The talks were boring, and the four younger Paladins found themselves quickly becoming inattentive. Lance got them excused and Pidge ran straight to the edge of the central cave, ignoring how the Cygi were suddenly watching them keenly. It was likely to avoid the Terrans getting attacked by the fauna or killed by the 'toxic' rain that was cascading down just outside. A device was pulled from the depths of the Green Paladin's armor to scan the substance pouring from the atmosphere, and they all peered over the girl's shoulder tensely.

The screen lit up in green.

"HECK YEAH!" Keith shouted, his voice echoing loudly against the stone walls. "Nontoxic!"

"C'mon, Paladudes!" Lance waved his hand at the others in a beckoning motion. "It's time to explore this world and turn Shiro's hair whiter than before!"

The kids dashed forward towards the more organic part of the planet's surface, but paused and turned at the sound of buzzing.

A large group of Cygi were heading straight for the humans, frantic expressions and furiously beating wings drawing the Paladins' attention. It seemed that the team's newest allies were more knowledgeable about their intentions, and were attempting to avoid what they assumed was a dangerous situation.

The teens were not about to let that happen.

"BREAK FOR IT!" Hunk screamed, and there was no way that Shiro and Allura didn't hear that. They only had a few minutes before they would be caught in their escape. The humans dashed for the entrance, and Keith was definitely gonna make it. Pidge wasn't, and Hunk was a coin toss, so Lance took action. The self-sacrificing idiot.

The Blue Paladin grabbed his smaller friend and threw her at his bro.

"CATCH!" The cook caught the child easily, still sprinting to freedom. But the action left Lance behind the herd and much closer to the Cygi. It became obvious how close when his feet left the ground.

"What the flippity floppity flapjack‽ WOAH!" The flying aliens were swift to bring the Terran over to the suspended platform where Shiro, Allura, and all the diplomats were staring down from. It was from there that the kids had originally climbed down the rungs of the strange ladder to get to the floor. "Ah, you lily-livered sons of witches! You snackers! Oh, tick-tack snick-snack frick-frack paddlywack! My father will hear about this, you barnacle-covered Caprisun knock-offs! I'll steal your kneecaps and eat your curtains! You moldy walnuts!" He continued spouting off insults as he was carried over to his leaders, smiling slightly at the look of exasperation on Shiro's face. His words stopped the moment his feet hit the mioxite platform, smile growing exponentially.

"Lance, what were you guys doing?" The older man didn't let Allura speak, taking over the conversation immediately.

"The rain isn't toxic for us, so we were gonna explore. I gotta join the others soon."

"No, you don't gotta."

"I do gotta."

"Why?"

"You want Keith and Pidge alone in unknown territory with just Hunk as their voice of reason?"

"You definitely gotta."

"Shiro, Lance, what is going on?" Allura finally managed to interject. The humans turned towards the Altean, both confused. Lance had just said that he and the others were going to explore Cygoth.

"What d'you mean, princess?"

"What code was Lance speaking?"

"Code? What co- oh." The Black Paladin's face lit up in realization. "She meant the curses. Lance, explain."

"I was cussing without swear words."

"What?"

"I was spouting profanities without ever using actual words that are considered profane. For instance." The boy faced his fellow Terran once more. "Let me strawberries and cream go before I rocky road your face, you useless paperclip."

"Where's that from?"

"Ice cream flavors with the classic inanimate objects with no function. From Tumblr."

"What is ice cream? Is it more... omnivore things?" Allura seemed to be scared she might have to hear more about the meat-eating habits of humans.

"Nah, don't worry, princess," Lance assured her. "Ice cream is a chilled treat back home. We found out that there's many animals we can safely farm for their milk. When done correctly, it doesn't harm the animals, and we can process the milk for consumption. Process the milk properly, and then you can get ice cream. It comes in many flavors."

"Such as?"

"Strawberries and cream, and rocky road, to name some."

"Are any of those poisonous?"

"I think lactose might be, which is in a good portion of milk, and some nuts are, and definitely chocolate. So, to animals, yeah, most ice cream is toxic, but not always enough to do more than a stomachache."

"Princess, I can take over explaining, but Lance has to go make sure none of the others get into trouble."

The Blue Paladin took that as his cue to leave, climbing down the ladder once more and bolting back to the entrance. In moments, he had disappeared from view, joining his fellow humans outside the caves. Shiro watched him go, internally wishing he could join them.

But they had once again caused a situation that needed explaining, and Lance was needed to prevent an actual disaster from happening, so Shiro had to do damage control solo this time. That's what he got for letting four teenagers kidnap him back into space.

If a human seems to be speaking in code, yet other humans seem to understand them, even on a basic level, ask if they are speaking in 'slang'. This is a Terran term that encompasses many variations of speaking. Much like the difference in linguistics between Blue and Green Zithians, humans will likely have very different slang depending on where they spent their time. A place called Tumbler often fosters a more complex version, whereas Insta Gram has a simpler code.

Humans might invent their own slang in order to packbond properly with one another. Two groups of Terrans hailing from the same locations may have entirely different lexicons due to the change that each team may make. Some individuals may even know more than two versions of slang, in order to establish better relations with their fellow humans. There is very little evidence of what requirements are needed to include learning more than one variation of slang. An example of this would best be shown by the following interaction:

Terran Blue, addressing Terran Yellow: Then he just yeeted it at me, as though I was gonna sit there like a soggy popsicle.

Terran Yellow, responding: That doesn't explain why you turned him into an ice cube.

Terran Green, addressing Terran Blue: "Blue", what was the 411 on those rocket launchers?

Terran Blue, responding: The main man blew a gasket. Didn't make it far, but managed to nab a couple of the suckers.

Terran Yellow, addressing Terran Green: You throw a glitter bomb down the chutes and I'll cop all the cookies.

Terran Green, responding: Do it and you'll lose your kneecaps.

In the above interaction, it was explained that Terran Blue and Terran Yellow were discussing an instance where an object was hurled towards Terran Blue's head. He dodged the object and used a weapon to freeze his opponent in a section of ice. Terran Green was inquiring about a mission and the weapons that were supposed to be gained if it succeeded. Terran Blue informed of the partial success they achieved, after which Terran Yellow warned Terran Green to not perform certain playful acts. Terran Green responded with a more intimidating warning.

However, as seen, there were many different instances of slang usage. All three of the humans used at least two versions, yet they all hold very different positions. Terran Green is a scientist, Terran Yellow is (assumed to be) a chef, and Terran Blue is (assumed to be) a diplomat. Their needs for their positions are greatly varied, leading to confusion as to the education of humans.

In all events of slang use, please proceed with great caution. A greater percentage of this subject is unknown than the previous logs. Refrain from attempting the replication of slang unless the code has been explained to you by a Terran. Humans have not shown much aggression yet, but they may do so if provoked on an emotional level.

#voltron #vld #lance #keith #shiro #pidge #hunk #allura #oneshots #voltron oneshots

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ellewords · 3 years

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hey elle! i saw your answers for the questions i sent—i love coffee and cookie dough ice cream too! i’ve found that i like a lot of coffee-flavored stuff like ice cream, cake, and candy lol. i also really love cookies and cream! i’d say that’d be my favorite with coffee and cookie dough being VERY CLOSE seconds

BABY DON’T STOP IS ICONIC WHEW but may i propose....haikyuu boys dancing to it.......

anyways today i’ve got some headcanons for a past written on the margins question! first it was a karaoke party with the seijoh 4, and now it’s a road trip! aka you and iwaizumi are the only ones with any braincells in this godforsaken car (they make you handle the gps stuff since you’re the best with it). i can imagine each of them rotating and driving for a set number of hours or at least until they reach a rest stop, especially on long trips. whoever’s sitting shotgun (they rotate between this seat too) has control over the radio and aux cord and oikawa jokes that it’s the best part of going on road trips (but is he really joking though...)

makki and mattsun pretend to groan when you sit shotgun, but in actuality they don’t mind and will probably sing along to some of the songs you play (if there’s a rap part in the song currently playing everyone makes mattsun rap along i feel like his voice just fits it) while oikawa would be like UGH FINALLY SOMEONE WITH SOME MUSIC TASTE just to get a rise out of the other boys (but he really does think those kpop songs you blast lowkey slap he’s been listening to some of them while he works out or goes on his morning runs). iwa generally doesn’t have much of a preference but i can see him being partial to more upbeat songs to keep him or whoever’s driving awake, but even during slow songs the rest of you guys sing loud enough and chaotic enough to prevent anyone from getting any shut-eye (oikawa, makki, and mattsun dramatically act out a whole SAGA)

when you guys reach any rest stop makki is the first one out of the car and he makes a beeline towards the bathroom because he drank a lot of water during you guys’ impromptu karaoke session (gotta keep those vocal chords taken care of!). oikawa and mattsun are usually the ones in charge of getting snacks, they always end up getting a lot but they make sure to get everyone’s favorites! the amount of snacks they buy seems overkill but they’re athletic boys with voracious appetites and getting this many snacks ensures that the car is never short on food. if this is during or post-timeskip iwa is probably a little more strict on the snacks everyone eats (especially with regards to oikawa, being a professional athlete and all) but eventually decides to let up a bit—it’s not everyday he gets to go on a trip with his close friends, plus all those calories are gonna get burned right away once you guys reach your destination and go from place to place.

god help anyone who actually falls asleep in the car because oikawa and makki are taking photos of whoever’s sleeping with their phones AND with the polarioid camera you brought. despite this, though, everyone makes a conscious effort to be quieter when someone’s napping, and the volume of the radio is turned a bit lower. one of your favorite pictures on your phone is a selfie you took of everyone while you were sitting in the passenger seat: mattsun was driving at the time and though he wasn’t looking at the camera, a smile is on his face as he makes a peace sign with one hand; oikawa, iwa, and makki are sleeping in the back seats with oikawa and makki leaning on iwa’s shoulders (he lost a few rounds of rock paper scissors and had to sit in the middle). this also extends to when you’re asleep in the car as well—oikawa jokingly made his phone background a selfie of you leaning on his shoulder while napping (featuring a blurry iwaizumi at the side) but he actually finds it quite cute and doesn’t want to change it to his usually background quite yet.

it’s evening when you guys finally reach your hotel and everyone’s a bit tired from being cooped up in the car all day but surprisingly enough no one’s really sleepy because everyone at one point had the opportunity to nap on the way there. if you’re dating one of the boys the others DEFINITELY make you two take one room while the other three take the room adjacent to it. after everyone’s gotten ready for bed you’re all gathered in one of the hotel rolls just vibing on your phones and you and oikawa decide it’s the perfect time to bring out The Sheet Masks™️ that you kept in the cooler in the car during the trip so they’d remain cold. many more goofy photos of everyone with the masks on their faces are taken.

by this point it’s late at night and eventually you guys fall into having some nice, genuine heart-to-heart conversations. if this is during or post-timeskip everyone’s sharing what they’ve been up to ever since graduation or ever since you guys last saw/talked to each other. it’s just such a nice and comforting environment to be in because everyone’s a little tired from the day’s events and so it’s not as loud and boisterous, but at the same time this tiredness and it being nighttime means everyone’s filters are a little looser than usual and you could ask for advice on just about anything and everyone else would chime in with both lighthearted and actual suggestions. the boys are just SOFTER during this time like you could bring up how you’ve been getting back into something you did during high school (like playing piano or guitar or something) and they’d want you to show them videos or pictures of what you’ve been up to! maybe one boy brings up something that’s been worrying them for a while and you and the others are giving him words of encouragement while also cracking jokes. it’s just really chill and nice and everyone likes these late night talks because they bring you all a little closer.

everyone ends up sleeping in the same hotel room. you wake up sandwiched between oikawa and mattsun (oikawa’s got an arm thrown around you and mattsun’s long leggies are literally on top of yours and you wonder how you managed to sleep soundly last night) and iwa and makki are on the pull out sofa bed and you’re like Hey Guys. What The Heck (makki takes this opportunity to snap a photo of the three of you wrapped up in the bedcovers) and when you guys go to get breakfast at the hotel buffet it’s strangely quiet because almost everyone is still sleepy lol.

after getting some food in your system and getting ready for the day you’re all back to your usual energetic selves! you snap a mirror selfie of everyone gathered around the sink in one of the hotel rooms because oikawa was finishing getting ready (he takes the longest i just know it) and the other boys were just hanging around him talking about what’s planned for the day. the schedule you guys have isn’t super specific but there’s a few choice locations that you guys looked into in advance and try to visit no matter what! a day out with them is definitely filled with photos. you’ve got a lot of them in which they’re trying to recreate some funny pose in a picture oikawa saw online (like the one of nct in the ask i sent you earlier!!) and they either turn out really great or really horrible (funny) because you have a knack for taking photos where everything looks normal but someone’s face would be really blurry. but they would also try and take some really nice photos too—they’ll all even help you if you want to take some solo shots! oikawa and makki know the best angles for aesthetically pleasing photos, mattsun has a knack for taking panorama photos that look perfect, and iwaizumi’s really good at taking those types of photos of you guys jumping in the air without them looking weird. you’ve basically got four tall hypemen it’s great!!

overall i think it’d be so fun to go on a trip with them because it’s the perfect balance!! they’re chaotic clowns but they also won’t hesitate to give you a piggyback ride if your feet really hurt or if your shoes are giving you blisters (oikawa will try and make iwa give him a piggyback ride too, though). you guys end up getting a lot closer and having a TON of photos and inside jokes at the end of the trip, and though you’re all reluctant to go back, you also all know that this is only the beginning of a lot more outings together! if you take little clips of various events throughout the trip and compile them all together into a little vlog they’ll all probably watch it together through zoom or discord screenshare or something loool

THIS IS SO LONG take a shot (of water) every time i say one of the guys’ names or if i say “everyone” or some variation of it FJDJSNS seijoh 4 brainrot things am i right.....i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing and thinking of this! i think in the future i might think of stuff for if you go on a trip with the miya twins (and maybe suna too?).....hmmm hmmm hmmm!!! —🌸

— from elle ! i love this so so much >_< like literally what do i have to do to go on a road trip with the seijoh four??? it would be so much fun and chaotic and i want that for me,, i love them and their friendship so much it's insane ;-; anyways, thoughts + additions under the cut <33 thank you for this !!

everyone who isn't driving makes it their mission to annoy the one who is; whether it's through repeatedly poking their cheek, asking how long of the drive they have left, etc. the person who can last the longest in driver's seat would probably be iwaizumi, all his years playing volleyball with them as prepared him for this moment — but also looked up breathing exercises to avoid getting angry.

the best person to have riding shotgun would most be mattsun, especially when it's really late or super early ; keeps the conversation going and doesn't fall asleep, even when everyone in the backseat is. he shotguns energy drinks every hour or so.

i love the idea of oikawa, makki, and mattsun acting out a whole saga in the backseat omg !! in my head it's a song like taylor swift's love story wherein makki is the love interest, oikawa is taylor, and mattsun is like the dad who doesn't want them together. they really go all out on the acting — oikawa might have let out a couple of tears — and even iwa cracks a lil smile from the driver's seat.

awe timeskip!iwa watching out for everyone's diets ;-; but i do agree that he's gonna let up a bit considering that everyone doesn't see each other all the time. but i feel like he gives everyone the look™ every now and then despite this.

aw cmon don't hit me with oikawa making his background me leaning on his shoulder as i sleep that's so adorable i might cry :<< but other photos taken during naps include : iwa leaning on oikawa’s shoulder, makki sleeping with his eyes halfway-open ??? mattsun’s face covered in stickers that you impulse-bought at a random stopover.

sheet masks with the boys ??? yes pls !! though iwa would definitely be the type to almost wash his face after and oikawa screeched just before he was able to splash water on his face.

but late in the night heart to hearts ??? ugh, peak softness from the boys — everyone cries at some point because woah all of you really grew so much since high school and it made everyone feel all warm and tender.

but at some point, without thinking, and also bec it’s late and what does he have to lose, iwa just goes “you know, i had a crush on you when we were in high school” at yn and everyone just goes ?!?!?!?!?

yn : what the hell i had a crush on you ????

and oikawa’s just cackling in the background like, “i knew it !!!! both of you kept saying i was crazy for pushing it i feel so vindicated rn”

meanwhile makki hands mattsun some money because they bet on it years ago and they were finally getting answers — makki thought you would confess first and mattsun thought it would be iwa ; several years too late but at least ;//

also i would just love to fall asleep in between oikawa and mattsun,,, please how do i get that

also on mattsun’s panoramas: everyone likes moving around a lot when he takes those photos and it’s the perfect mix of weird and cool because yeah there are like five makki’s but one of them looks like he has a third arm and a triangular head

and the vlog and we all get to watch it together over discord ???? that’s it, that’s what i want ;-;

tldr; I would give anything to go on a road trip with the seijoh four ;((

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

a question: what are the hq characters like on a road trip? | written on the margins masterlist

taglist : @haikyuutothetop @crystal-lilac @tobioespresso @sushijimawakatoshi @itsmeaudrieee @pantherhappy @jesssobs @mysticstrawberryballoon @cloudedsky_29 @sakusasimpbot @aoirohi @kokogxddess @tooru--o @meiankolia

join my hq taglist here. <3

#seijoh four road trip how ???#I wanna go on one with them so bad :<<#written on the margins 🔖#haikyuu hcs #🎐 — 🌸sakuranon! <3

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honeyboyfelix · 4 years

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1-50 pls. is this illegal? Cx

you asked for it....so i deliver

The meaning behind my url:~ so last year (2018) i woke up in a cold sweat with an idea (as all my good ideas come to me this way) for a url, which was honeyboyhwall (whos my the boyz bias brb still crying) and since then ive had a couple variations of the honeyboy url but i had been waiting on this one for a very long time because it was being saved by someone else and one day i just...decided to check if it was still saved and it wasnt and i was so happy

A picture of me:

How many tattoos i have and what they are: 0 :(

Last time i cried and why: uhhhhh i think i has an anxiety attack like last week?

Piercings i have: just the regular ear ones

Favorite band: fall out boy

Biggest turn offs: being mean? idk how to describe it but like saying things to people with mean connotations? i usually pick people i like on pure gut feeling so idk how to say how that feels

Top 5 (insert subject): top 5 ice cream flavors: 1.green tea 2.peanut butter 3.cookie dough 4.cookies and cream 5.vanilla

Tattoos i want: i want a lot of watercolor space tattoos and a cat outline tattoo

Biggest turn ons: uhhh noticing habits of mine? idk i dont like telling people things i like them to notice o their own? which isnt very realisic....

Age: 19

Ideas of a perfect date: nap dates! warm blankets and cuddling in the middle of the day and waking up to eat snacks and going back to sleep

Life goal: eat ramen in japan

Piercings i want: a l l

Relationship status: single and sad

Favorite movie: the madoka magica movie

A fact about my life: when i was a kid i hated nickalodian and exclusivly watched discovery kids

Phobia: needles :(

Middle name: marie

Height: 5′6

Are you a virgin?~ ye

What’s your shoe size?~ 7.5 in womens

What’s your sexual orientation?~ asexual

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?~ nope im basically a straight edge

Someone you miss: my science school friends

What’s one thing you regret?~ not fucking considering an art career earlier

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: felix

Favorite ice cream?~ green tea

One insecurity: im scared people thing im stupid

What my last text message says: i sent my mom a link to a ramen resturant in miami that looked really good

Have you ever taken a picture naked?~ no lol

Have you ever painted your room?~ no

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?~ no :(

Have you ever slept naked?~ no

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?~ yes

Have you ever had a crush?~ asdfghj yea

Have you ever been dumped?~ ....yes...

Have you ever stole money from a friend?~ no?

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?~ yeah? i think? probably

Have you ever been in a fist fight?~ no

Have you ever snuck out of your house?~ nah never had to

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?~ uh yeah lmao

Have you ever been arrested?~ im the goodest bean on earth ive never even spoke to a cop in my life

Have you ever made out with a stranger?~ no

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?~? yeah are there people that haven't? like all my friends in hs were guys

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?~ yeah to walk me dog and play pokemon go but also,im 19 so

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?~ nah all my neighbors are old

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?~ with parent permission (my mom doesnt give a fuck about truancy apparently)

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?~ yes ive been to sleepovers

Have you ever seen someone die?~ no and i absolutely do not want to

#long post

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kitchennoobfood · 5 years

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A Better Fruit Smoothie-- Two Variations

If you’re still putting ice cubes in your smoothies, stop right now. It just makes them grainy, crunchy, and watery without adding any real flavor or substance. It also makes it melt faster.

All you really need for a good fruit smoothie is frozen fruit and a liquid to thin it with, but I’ll give my two basic, go-to recipes that make a really tasty (and totally healthy) smoothie that is actually smooth, and doesn’t feel like you’re chewing glass shards because of the ice.

Blueberry Pomegranate Smoothie

Ingredients:

One fresh banana, cut into chunks

Two handfuls frozen blueberries

One scoop vanilla protein powder OR large scoop vanilla yogurt of choice

Pomegranate juice (enough to get to desired consistency)

Directions:

Put the banana in first, then the powder/yogurt, then the blueberries. This keeps the powder from sticking to the sides, but also helps the blender actually get started instead of getting stuck on thick frozen berries.

Pour in enough pomegranate juice to almost meet the top of the banana layer.

Blend in pulses, adding small amounts of juice if it gets stuck. Continue blending until you reach your desired consistency. (I like mine soft-serve fro-yo consistency, and I eat it with a spoon. Don’t judge.)

“Sunshine” Fruit Smoothie

Ingredients:

Frozen strawberries (slices are easier to deal with)

Frozen peach slices or chunks

Frozen mango chunks

Can pineapple chunks (with juice)

Peach yogurt

Optional: kiwi slices, or banana slices; orange juice

Directions:

Spoon about half a cup of peach yogurt into the blender first. If using any banana or kiwi, add it in on top. Don’t use a lot of banana, tho, it will make the end product very thick and you won’t taste as much of the citrus. (Kiwi can make it kind of crunchy because of the seeds on top of the strawberry seeds already in there. It be tasty tho)

Place a handful each of frozen strawberries, peaches, and mangoes into a bowl. Rinse them under lukewarm water, just enough that the outer edges get mildly squishy. This keeps the blender from locking up, because frozen strawberries and peaches get HARD. Separate any stuck-together pieces, and place them all into the blender on top of the yogurt.

Open your canned pineapple, toss in about half a cup of the chunks, and drain the juice into a separate container. Store the leftover pineapple, but leave the juice out because you’ll need it in a minute.

Start blending in pulses, and once the yogurt has been blended with some of the fruit, add in some of the pineapple juice. If using orange juice, you can also add some of it in here. Keep blending and adding juice(s) until you reach your desired consistency.

It’s kind of silly to make a recipe for a smoothie, I know, but basically what I’m saying is use frozen fruit instead of ice. Also, be aware of how you layer in the blender, putting the frozen fruit in first makes it way harder than it has to be.

Tips:

-You can make any kind of smoothie you want by starting with frozen fruit, up to two fresh fruits, and adding some kind of flavored liquid to it. Juice, milk, soymilk/almond milk, even something like heavy whipping cream (that’ll make it very fluffy). Yogurt is always optional, but adds a nice texture and a good amount of protein.

-Don’t add citrus juice and cow’s milk to the same smoothie, or at least not at the same time, or the milk will start curdling. Try mixing in the milk first, then add the citrus juice at the end. Citrus fruit and milk is generally fine unless it’s fresh pineapple.

-It always makes more than you think it will. I know it doesn’t look like a lot, but take it from my own experience and hubris, under-estimate rather than putting in another handful of blueberries. Unless you have a buddy with you to help you eat the mass amounts of leftovers, you will regret it.

-You can shove tons of spinach into a fruit smoothie and you’ll hardly ever notice a taste difference.

-Get a long spoon handy for poking the smoothie down and stirring it; sometimes air bubbles form around the blades. Never stir while the blender is spinning!

-Frozen fruit is way cheaper than fresh, except for when fresh fruit is in season and on sale. Consider buying a ton of fresh fruit during those times and cutting/freezing yourself. Freezer ziploc bags are where it’s at.

-If you want to use nut butter in your smoothies, layer it in between fruits (or halves of the banana). This will keep it from sticking to either the blades or the sides, and will ensure it gets all mixed in.

-Quick blender clean: rinse til you see no visible grime, add two drops of dish soap, water up to the first or second line, dry the bottom, and return it to the base. Blend that sucker into a froth. Rinse. Clean! (This shouldn’t replace regular deep cleaning of blenders, you still have to disassemble it every once in a while, and especially if you blended something really thick, sticky, or fibrous. But it does save time.)

#food #recipes #quick recipes #smoothie #fruit #breakfast recipe #original recipe

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marlettwrites · 5 years

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Get to Know Me Tag Game

Tagged by: @quilloftheclouds (you said I could, so I’m gonna)

What genre(s) you write?

I write fantasy and sci-fi and I’m a little loathe to call this a genre because I feel like books with LGBTQIA+ characters should be normalized rather than separated from media with purely cishet characters? Anyway, I write looooots of gay shit.

What’s on your reading wish list?

Okay, so... I really want to read some HP Lovecraft. I have a huge collection of his stories on my Kindle, I just haven’t gotten to them yet.

I’m slowly working my way through The Ruin of Kings by Jenn Lyons. I’m not going slowly because I don’t like it (I!!! Fucking love!!! This book!!!), I’m going slowly because somewhere along my journey to becoming a writer, I stopped reading as much as I used to. It’s sad, and I hate it, and I’m trying to reverse this awful curse.

After I read that, I’m gonna read Akata Warrior by Nnedi Okorafor. I own the first book, Akata Witch, and it was super good and I can’t wait to read the sequel! I adore all her characters and the worldbuilding is just... mmm! Delicious.

Your favorite character from your current WIP?

Oh dear.

Ummm.... all of them? I mean, Kasaika’s a piece of shit, but everyone else can have the spare key to my apartment and access to the leftovers in my fridge.

Some writing tropes you like?

Fuck, uh, okay.

Found family is hot shit, so jot that down. I also love??? Enemies to friends to lovers??? In my own WIP I’m doing a variation on that that I refer to as ‘Frenemies to friends to lovers’, and I’m super excited for that slow burn to catch flame. Uhhh... I also like... when the characters are pining hard... but also in denial... and assuming their love is unrequited... and then finding out... it wasn’t... das good shit.

The story behind your WIP’s name?

A Curse of Healing was... so incredibly difficult to name. I wanted it to be intriguing, but it also had to say something about the book, and for some reason, putting both of those things together was a challenge???

Basically, I called it that because the main character, Jude, has the ability to heal people using his magic, which would be cool, except it hurts him to use it. Also, his brother forces him to constantly heal people because he runs an underground criminal organization and being able to insta-heal an entire armies worth of thieves in a day makes him damn near invincible.

Are you a pantser or plotter?

I tried pantsing when I first began writing. It didn’t work out so well. I like to plot out as many details as possible.

Do you post your work somewhere?

I have an earlier version of this story up on a few platforms. By ‘earlier version’, I mean the short story I originally wrote to get rid of my plot bunnies. It worked for about five minutes. Then my brother told me he wanted to know what happened next, and, well... here we are.

Do you also read/write fanfic? If yes, for the same genres as what you write?

Oh man. Some of the first things I ever wrote were fanfic. I turned in a Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic (although it kinda wasn’t?? Like, they were anthro characters in the style of Sonic, but the story had fuck all to do with any of the Sonic characters or their world. It was about an anthro fox ice princess who went on a quest to slay a dragon to save her kingdom, and I think there was a fire prince in there somewhere?) for a fourth grade writing assignment, and I got the numbered equivalent of an A.

Come to think of it, I have no fucking clue if I put any effort into describing characters, so I’m not sure if my teacher even knew the princess was also a bipedal fox.

Your favorite dessert. Because why not.

I like... cheesecake. With cherry glaze. Yum.

But!!! My favorite desert!!!

Is anything rose flavored!! Especially rose flavored turkish delight. Yessss delicious. I also had a vanilla ice cream with rose syrup on top once and!!!!! Very Good!!!!!

Tagging: @aly-writes-stuff, @practising-writer

#marlettwrites #marlett #Get to know me tag #I hope that's what it's called #my computer is being an asshole #and refuses to let me scroll #so I can't see #if that's what it actually is #or not

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shrimpcolour · 5 years

Note

answer them all coward

take two after closing the tab when i was almost done w every question im gonna fucking lose my shit

angel; do you have a nickname?

people call me nicknames but i hate any variation of taylor

awe; how old are you?

baby; favorite color?

lilac

bloop; spirit animal?

kitten

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

Fahrenheit 451 im1 shes so man matchbox 20

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

my lamby who i still sleep w everynight bc i am baby

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

getting told i can keep my cats

bright; mermaids or fairies?

fairies all the way

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

not so sure i do

buttercup; showers or baths?

shower

butterfly; dream destination?

anywhere outside of the us

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

no but i wish i was

calm; favorite scent?

vanilla

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

some fuckshit on the beach

charming; have you ever been in love?

yes

cozy; eye/hair color?

blue/brown

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

time is fake

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

hibiscus

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

money like a lot

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

my kitten lucifer but saying i own him sounds weird

cutsie; what makes you happy?

jillie

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

i cant remember

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

i want to be remembered as nice? kind? please .

daylight; favorite album of all time?

kindly now by keaten henson

dear; zodiac sign?

scorpio

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts but i love museums

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes but i didnt send it

dobby; dream job?

something that has to do w art

doll; how do you like to dress?

i like to dress in a cute button up and jeans but that doesnt happen

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

no but i wish so bad

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

yes i want many tattoos and on my 18th im going w my dad to get one

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

fuck yeah

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

i love my sister so much she is my literal will to live she is so fukcing funny and happy and just UGHHH shoutout to kaylleee

fairy; do you have a pet?

yes i have two cats, boots and lucifer, and a dog named finn

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

ocean is where its at

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the park near me at night

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

sadly not

garden; how many languages do you know?

one bc im weak

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

not tagging them but like . cmon . yk

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

that warm cozy library aesthetic ? i love that

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i love them bc it gives me the opportunity to talk to ppl who are too scared to talk to me (please dont be scared of me)

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

my eyes my hair my sense of humor my friends my socks

heart; silk or lace?

silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

coffee w almond milk

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

people watching bc i like to give everyone a story in my head

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

melatonin LMAO

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

rainy and cold

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

sleep my life away

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

loud laugh baeby

kinky; do you blush easily?

i dont think so

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

that friends to lovers mutual pining takes a little bit to realize what they want is right in front of them i love that

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

1am-8am

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

keaten henson

love; what is your favorite season and why?

fall bc the weather and the holidays and my job ITS ALL TOO GOOD

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

i have never had a macaron but i love oreo iceceram

magic; what are five flaws you have?

i overthink AND underthink at the same time like what a dumbass bitch, i doubt myself, i am not so bright, i am too loud around ppl im comfortable with and i am selfish sometimes

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

i like all of them it depends on my mood

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

i dont really look?

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

minecraft and sweatpants

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on minecraft or on here or just like . sitting

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

dont judge a book by its cover is so fucking cliche but like . you gotta learn it

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook baeby

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

lazy oops

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

i played the flute when i was like 10

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

scream

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

strawberry/sweet pepper

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

“so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

my sister being born

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

the loss of all my friends bc im fucking stupid. thats the one.

shine; art or music?

both

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

they do

smitten; do you collect anything?

i collect disney pins

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

one? two?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

kitkats

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

i do but i dont know what kind and idk where it is

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

i wear earrings and a necklace sometimes

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

with head phones but too loud so you can probably hear it without

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

hannah montana baeby

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

my bed. it has so many blankets and its quiet bc of the AC and it has my favorite things

soothe; digital or vinyl?

digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

my best friend francesca like a lot

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

practical?

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

no i dont think ive ever completely opened up if im being honest

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

i do! i want two kids!

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

this is gonna sound so fucking dumb but i really look up to jenna mourey/jenna marbles

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

idk man im quite basic

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

im very loyal but i tend to hold a grudge so like . thats an issue

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

tina made me laugh shoutout to tina

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owl

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

invisibility baeby

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

no but i like doing it

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy oops

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

i like my town but i dont think i wanna lvie here

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

yes i have

#cheers i did it after almost losing my mind #if anyone reads any of this i am sorry and you get a gold star #driftingbarnes

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cutiecrates · 5 years

Text

Cutie Reviews: Tokyo Treat May 19

Hello, welcome to our next review :3 today we’ll be looking at the May Tokyo Treat. I’m going to point out now that i was a little disgruntled by some details in this specific box- but I will still fairly access everything as usual.

(You probably recognize the DIY item there, I won’t be reviewing it because I already have, and have gotten it numerous times since <_<)

“We’re so excited for you to try this month’s mixture of snacks. Doesn’t the crisp air and budding springtime flowers make you just want to devour some juicy fruit and enjoy their sweet flavors? You’re in luck, because this month we’ve got some yummy fruity flavors in a variety of sweet treats! We’ve also got some delicious savory snacks in store for you! Are you ready? We can’t wait for you to enjoy this months Tutti Fruity box!“

Lucky Treat

This month, the Lucky Treat is full of adorable Rilakkuma goods ranging from cuddly to practical school and kitchen items, many of which feature Rilakkuma hanging out with his friends and visiting various places.

May Prize

Meanwhile, the contest is all about Gudetama, featuring two plush for the grand prize winner, and Gudetama cookies for the runner-ups.

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Fanta Banana Yogurt Mix

Our first item (see pic on top) is the Banana Yogurt Fanta we were supposed to get in the previous box, but due to the “exciting release“ of the Sakura-flavored cola, it was pushed back to this box. Which isn’t bad since it still fits with the theme of this box. Made from healthy banana and nutrients, this is a carbonated drink at only 34kcal, making it a great choice for those seeking less-calorie intake.

Rating: ♥

Honestly I didn’t even want to give it that heart. I’ve said this several times but I’ll say it again if you might be new, I don’t like bananas, and I especially HATE the taste of artificial banana! I tasted no sort of creamy yogurtness or vanilla or anything else except banana. My parents loved the drink meanwhile, so I let them share it.

BUT in saying that, if you like bananas/artificial banana, you will probably really like this. Even though I disliked it, I never spit out the portion I tried and didn’t think I would throw up (like that takoyaki nightmare from a few boxes ago). So it earned 1 heart for at least not making me hate bananas even more.

Caramel Corn Puffs

I decided to start with this because I’ve had it numerous times and didn’t feel like I needed to entirely review it. The Tohato Caramel Corn is a popular brand that we’ve encountered many times, not only in the original/regular flavor, but in a variety of others.

This time we are receiving the original in “share pack“ form, each bag/10 grams being 56kcal.

These are delicious, lightly crisp caramel-flavored puffs. They are pretty sweet though so unless you have a sweet-tooth, you might find them cloying after a while. They make all sorts of unique sweet flavors, from fruity to desserts like tiramisu and ice cream. I would recommend them and they’re pretty easy to find online.

Curry-flavor Crispy Flakes & Salt and Wasabi Chips

Another item I won’t really be reviewing are these little ramen noodle crispy flakes flavored after curry. Besides snacking on them, they can also be used to top udon or other noodle dishes.

I’m not reviewing this because this is also another item I’ve had a few times- but in comparison to caramel corn, I don’t actually like this one. They have a nice crunchiness and the flavor is strong, but that was why I didn’t like them, I wasn’t into the flavor. This was another item I gave my mom.

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Meanwhile, we also have a bag of salt and wasabi chips by Calbee. Now, originally we were supposed to get the Pizza Mayo Mentaiko flavored chips, but due to regulations in meat substances being shipped, it had to be replaced last-second, so we either got the Wasabi chips or the lightly salted.

I was a little disappointed by the change, but at least they were giving us another Calbee brand chip to replace it. These chips (which I have no info on due to the late change not reflected in the book) have a total of 305kcal per-bag.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I usually love these chips, but this one I was a little mixed with opinions because I only like wasabi in extremely small doses sometimes. The flavor is pretty strong and bold, and they get spicy the more you eat, and if you love wasabi I’m sure you would really like these. I can’t say they’re my favorite of the brand, but the crunch is great and they still taste good. You also get a lot of foldy chips (the ones that resemble fortune cookies or wontons), which are my favorites~

Also, I discovered they go good with cream cheese :P my favorite sushi is a Philadelphia roll, which is what gave me the idea to try it.

Matcha Chocolate Corn Puffs & Strawberry Rusk

Following those are two more items I have tried before- so I won’t be reviewing them either (I’m sorry but I don’t see the point in writing the same thing, and essentially I’m still reviewing the item...). First are the Matcha Chocolate puffs by Ginbis, a brand known for their delicious star-shaped corn puffs with chocolate baked into them. This specific flavor is a limited edition, so it’s not always available. Each bag is 321kcal.

So... this is pretty much like the banana drink. I hate green tea and these have no sweetness at all. But the texture is a smooth crispiness which I do like, so I usually like this brands products. If you like green tea you’ll probably love these.

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Our other item is a strawberry chocolate coated rusk (rusk are baked bread pieces coated in glaze and/or sugar) from Ginza Rusk. These are sweet little biscuits embedded entirely with the strawberry flavor, and each pack is 208kcal; something I find a little unappealing about them when you compare the amount to some of the other items <3<

They’re a light crunch and taste pretty good, but I’m usually not a big fan of these rusk snacks. This one I found more tolerable then usual though; maybe they’re starting to grow on me.

Chobo Chobo Cookies & Sakura Japanese Sake KitKat.

These little baked, puffy cookies are made from a traditional recipe and are known for melting in ones mouth. Their bags feature all sorts of adorable little character variations, and each bag is 62kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥

I don’t know what they put in these but they aren’t my most favorite thing. They remind me a lot of something I don’t like, but I haven’t had said thing in a really long time so I don’t remember what it was...

All things considered they do melt in your mouth though.

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Next is another unique KitKat, featuring the fresh sakura (cherries) and Japanese sake (alcohol). These are limited edition and out in time to celebrate Hanami (cherry blossom viewing). You get 12 mini-sets per usual, and each one is 63kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

They have a lovely pink color (its my favorite shade in fact) and as soon as you eat them you taste the sake and a perfumey cherry- it reminds me of a fresh powdery bath product from Avon. But as strange as that is, I actually kinda like it. I’m not sure if they put alcohol in these, but I’m assuming they might soak the wafer in it or something.

New Mochitaro Puffs & Sugar Rusk Umaibo

These are our last crunchy snacks presented in this months box. First is the Mochitaro Puffs, which are small, bite-sized crispy snacks. I couldn’t find the calories on this, and these are basic salted.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

There isn’t too much flavor in these compared to the other snacks in the box, but the saltiness is noticeable, without being too intense. I kind of like how they aren’t as bold as the other snacks though, it’s a nice change of pace. They sort of remind me of the regular/plain Bugles.

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We also have our monthly Umaibo; this time in a sweet sugary rusk flavor. It has a buttery sweetness in scent, and each stick is 43kcal. If you’re interested in trying Umaibo, they’re super-easy to find online; I’d recommend them but they can become Addictive!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In terms of favorites, it doesn’t make my top 3- but it would probably make my top 10. It’s really good, it reminds me of buttery pretzel sticks, I would recommend it if you want something crispy and sweet.

Strawberry Lollipop & Strawberry Mochi

I love strawberries, so I was overall happy to see a few strawberry items in this box- even if I’m not hugely into rusk. First up we have a basic strawberry lollipop with a Hello Kitty package. There are multiple packages, each with a cute little game on the back, like for example mine has a “find the matching flower“ game. Each lollipop is 22.8kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Tastes like typical Japanese strawberry candy, which is a little different than American strawberry candy in most cases. It’s not a realistic flavor, but I really like it. I swear I get a little hint of watermelon or peach in it too.

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Our next item is an actual Mochi :3 these are very rare in this box, I can’t recall if we ever had t before or not... but I do like mochi. It’s become pretty popular where I live as of late, especially ice cream ones, but I think I prefer the basic snacking ones more.

With this little pack you get two, adorable baby mochi~ I couldn’t find calories on them either. But as you can see in the pick, each one has a marshmallow-like inside with strawberry cream or jelly in the middle.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Dissecting it, you don’t get much flavor or taste but its very soft, and just a little sweet. They’re also fun to squeeze and play with, and when you eat it entirely (careful so you don’t choke though >x<) you get a bit of flavor. I can’t say I strongly taste anything but I like it.

Cherry Mochi

If you’ve read my blog before then you might recognize this, this is an alternate Mochi treat and we have had these before- these ones are cherry flavored, and last time they were soda. These are by the brand Kyoshin. I couldn’t find calories.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Besides the cute and unique packaging, these also taste good. They’re very different from the other mochi, in that they’re little chewy candies. They taste like normal cherry-flavored candy.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. Everything held up and it was all plenty tasty, with the exception of a few items I didn’t really like, but I know catered to those of you who do like the taste would love the items. Nothing tasted stale or old.

Quality - 2 out of 5. I was severely disappointed, not in the quality of the items but the box itself for being extremely repetitive; half of the box had repetitive items, the theme was very repetitive, and the DIY kit was disgracefully repetitive...

Theme - 3 out of 5. A good portion of the box was fairly fruity in going with the theme, and I believe if you’re going to do a theme you should stick with it, and I noticed that the Classic edition of the box caters more towards the theme than the Premium, but this time I thought it was decent. However, as I said above it was pretty repetitive, so I can’t say I enjoyed the theme.

Total Rank: 5 out of 10. Not counting my preference in flavors, I feel like the items were great. Nothing was stale for having sat around a few months (which is a problem sometimes), no quality problems in terms of item damage or issues, but the fruity theme didn’t appeal to me at all because I feel like the box only half-tried in following it, and there was a lot of repetition. I even wanted to justify the DIY but you honestly can’t at this point. I think this is the 3rd time I’ve gotten it recently, and several kits have fruity tastes or themes, there was no excuse for them to give this same DIY kit to us this soon. They quit with the health snacks and everything else that made this box unique and fun, I don’t understand why obtaining equally priced DIY is suddenly so hard.

♥ Cutie’s Scale of Yummy ♥

I’m not doing it this time, I’m kind of in a bad mood now that I wrote that <3< sorry.

#cutie reviews #tokyotreat #umaibo #tohato #asian kitkats #mochi

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caribwolfie · 5 years

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Foreword: I try to keep the advice pretty general, but I can’t speak for what everyone likes. I am, however, an expert on what feels good to me. So that is what I will write about. Some want it really soft and tender, some want it hard, some don’t want it all. But me, I want it. And this is how I want it.

FIRST OF ALL, pls, know where the clitoris is please. Don’t be that guy that is about 3 centimeters off because that is really frustrating for us and will end up being a waste of your efforts. In case you didn’t know, the actual clitoris is covered by a “hood.” The clitoral hood to be exact. Some guys will want to kind of pull up this hood so they’re stimulating the clitoris directly. My lil clit is very sensitive, it consists of about 8,000 nerve endings after all, so that is unnecessary and might be uncomfortable/painful for the lady. So let’s just work over the hood unless she states otherwise, ok?

Let’s not forget the basic rules of fooling around with a vagina owner, the main one being that you should never go right for the genitals. Like I mentioned in “How to: Give a blowjob,” this scene from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life is ace:

Humphrey: So, just listen. Now, did I or did I not… do… vaginal… juices?

Pupils: Mmm. Mmm. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Humphrey: Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.

Watson: R - rubbing the clitoris, sir?

Humphrey: What’s wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don’t have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.

Wymer: Suck the nipple, sir?

Humphrey: Good. Good. Well done, Wymer.

Pupil: Uh, stroking the thighs, sir.

Humphrey: Yes. Yes, I suppose so. Hmm?

Pupil: Oh, sir. Biting the neck.

Humphrey: Yes. Good. Nibbling the earlobe, uhh, kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.

Watson: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.

Foreplay will never hurt, and it will make her come faster once you do make mouth-to-clit contact. So do all that fun foreplay stuff first; smooching, touching, dirty talk, removing clothes, some rubbing, then kiss her going all the way down. Now that she’s all revved up, and your head is in between her legs, give her some kisses or nibbles on her thighs. Kiss her over her panties. Tease. Gently run your fingers over her tummy, breasts, grip her ass underneath her.

One of the best female oral sex tips I’ve read is to imagine that she’s a really really juicy peach, that was just bit into, and you have to wrap your whole mouth around and suck and lick so the juices don’t run everywhere. Oh and speaking of juices, don’t be afraid of hers. If you’re going to go down on her, fucking commit to it. Get up in there. If by the end your face isn’t moist from the tip of your nose to the bottom of your chin, you’re doing it wrong.

Now, let’s break from the peach analogy unless you eat peaches in a really unusual, impractical way. It’s important to note that there are lots of different techniques, and variation is nice.

Your tongue should be moving slowly but consistently at first, up and down, around, or back and forth over her clitoris. But take breaks and wrap your lips around all of her, and gently suck. The sucking is what really gets me. Spread her with your fingers if you’re so inclined. If you want to lick her ass, do it.

Avoid tongue jabbing and hard flicks. Also tonguing inside the vaginal opening doesn’t do anything for me, but maybe some girls dig it. Fingering isn’t necessary every time you go down on her but if you know where the g-spot is or you’re confident in fingering, the oral/fingering combo can be incredible.

Don’t expect her to taste like candy. We’ve got a lot going on down there, and a clean pussy doesn’t necessarily mean a flowery smelling, tasty pussy. Sometimes it’s a bit bitter, salty, metallic, but sometimes it’s kind of neutral or even a little sweet. It is the same as a guy’s cum in that the smell and taste is affected by the owner’s diet. And, like men, all women taste different. Some better than others. But chances are your cum doesn’t taste like ice cream either so get over it.

Tell her she tastes good, even if it’s not your fave flavor. Tell her you love eating her. Moan. Women are incredibly insecure about their vaginas and always worried about what their partner thinks of theirs. If she knows that you’re into her pussy and her, then she’ll be able to relax and come better.

Try different positions. I’ve never complained about receiving when I’m lying down, it’s always nice, but sometimes it’s good to switch it up a bit. Try doggy style, or even just gripping underneath her, pulling her up so she’s she’s lying down but up on her feet can be really sexy.

Listen to her and pay attention to her movements and moans. When you do something we really like, there is going to be some sort of reaction. Keep doing that. Like I’ve said before, variation is awesome but when you can sense she’s getting close to orgasm, get a rhythm down, maybe a little faster than before, and don’t stop. It can sort of be like wrangling a wild bull at this point, she might be squirming and thrusting, grip tightly her thighs/ass/hips and keep going.

Hopefully she’ll come at that point. If she doesn’t ask her what’s up (ok don’t say “What’s up?” say something like, “Are you close?” or “How can I make you come?”). Don’t worry too much if she doesn’t though. Obviously it’s the goal, but some ladies have to get used to it. It still feels good though! Don’t get discouraged.

If she does come, slow it down. We’re extra sensitive after orgasm. I like for him to just keep his mouth around me or his tongue pressed gently against my clit. Or even just a finger pressed against it is great as the waves subside. Then some more kisses on the thighs, vulva, or tummy are nice. I always say thank you after, because I’m a good girl, as he’s wiping his face off because I was so wet. But maybe that’s not standard.

Good luck Dirty Berds.

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loniface · 5 years

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1. What would you consider your favorite holiday? Why is this? I prefer the day after Valentine’s Day because of all that discount candy, but if ya’ll wanna see me get all mushy-gushy, Valentine’s Day is also mine and the dude’s anniversary of being a couple, so I’m biased.

2. When did you last fight with your significant other? We’ve yet to have a fight.

3. Do you do any special workouts to stay in shape? I currently don’t do a damn thing and I hate my body for it. But, when I am getting into shape, it’s mostly crunches and walking.

4. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I got my grandma’s wide-ass hips and a flat butt.

5. Do people tend to call you by any certain nicknames? Only special people--and they know who they are--can call me Lonz.

6. When was the last time you had alcohol? What kind? It’s been so long, I can’t remember. I take too many meds to take a chance on alcohol.

7. When was the last time you talked to your father? Like a few minutes ago.

8. What are the last four numbers of your phone number? 2013.

9. Is there anything / one you’re losing faith in right now? I’d say ‘humanity’ but there are still good people out there.

10. When is the next time you’ll eat chocolate candy? I just had an ice cream cone and I got like three cookies left in the pack.

11. Is there a day you’d just like to forget? Which one? Can I blot out my entire 20′s?

12. Are you someone who takes too many surveys? Probably, but I like answering questions. I found this one ironically.

13. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? I don’t do dresses/skirts/shorts. I do not like my thighs touching.

14. Do you have a whiteboard in your room to remind you of things? Nope, but all my sketchpads are filled with random notes.

15. When was the last time you used a Kleenex? Why? I have no idea. I tend to not get sick.

16. Do you prefer surveys with long or short questions? I like those that I can answer more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to.

17. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? No, but I’m not against trying.

18. Do your parents treat you like you’re still a child? My parents tend to act like I’m fragile thanks to my mental illness, but really, they just leave me to my devices for the most part.

19.Who is your significant other and how did you meet? I’m not ashamed that I had to use a dating service to meet my dude. He had been living in the city close to me at the time, but he wound up moving back to his hometown after we met in-person and we kept in-touch and became a couple after the fact.

20. Do you talk to people out of the blue? @cloudsfall gets random texts out of me but that’s because I love her and miss her.

21. What was the last nightmare you had about? Anything odd? My nightmares are usually a variation of actual past traumas but I’ve thankfully only had the usual zombie nightmare as of late.

22. Is your life basically based on deja vu? Or, not so much? My life is kinda same ol’, but not that monotonous.

23. When was the last time someone dumped you? Probably 2011 or 2012.

24. Can you recall your eighth birthday? What was the cake? Nope, can’t remember the birthday but there’s always been cake involved. I know that much. My mom always baked whatever flavor I wanted and it was usually vanilla/chocolate with cream cheese icing.

25. Do you feel like you’re losing someone close right now? I feel I’m drifting from a lot of people because of different interests. Perhaps it’s because I have too casual a relationship with everyone that I feel I don’t have to talk often to anyone until I realize how much time has passed since I did talk to them. Does that make sense?

26. What color are the buttons on your remote? I’m too lazy to even look for it but it’s probably black, white, and grey.

27. What is the one stereotype people label you as most? The Artist.

28. Can you count how many lovers you’ve had on one hand? Yes, and you can even cut off a few fingers and get the same effect.

29. Do you like dark chocolate or white more? What about milk chocolate? I don’t like dark chocolate at all, but give me all the rest, especially with a raspberry filling, yum.

30. Who makes you the most angry in your life right now? My neighbor’s little yappy dog who barks 24/7.

31. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. I’ve seen every movie except The Last Jedi at least once.

32. Can people normally tell your mood, by your facial expression? I have a pretty good poker face, but my eyebrows give me away.

33. What was the last number you pushed on your phone? Hell if I know, I keep my phone’s history pretty clean.

34. Do you like flowers? What’s your favorite kind? I like flowers, but I don’t like their short lifespans. Don’t really have a favorite, but if it’s purple, it’s awwwright in my book.

35. How many grades have you failed in your life? Never failed a class despite my absolute dumbassery in all things Math.

36. Do you own a car? What car is it? Yes, a 2002 Ford Escape named General Thibodaux II.

37. What is your favorite show to watch on television? I don’t watch television? I’m so far behind on everything anyway.

38. What are the initials of your last ex? CR, I think.

39. Are you someone who can easily keep a secret? Yeah.

40. Do you understand algebra, or have you ever? I was home-schooled in the eighth grade, and my teacher wasn’t very sympathetic to the fact I Did Not Understand Pre-Algebra and it just snowballed from there. I had to take remedial courses in college and still don’t know why there’s an alphabet in my math.

41. Do you or have you ever had a problem with going barefoot? I hate wearing shoes but I had reconstructive surgery (hence being home-schooled) and my feet are super-sensitive to this day, so I tend to keep shoes on until I’ve had my nightly shower for their own protection.

42. What is one thing that tends to freak you out? Extreme close-ups of eyeballs.

43. Have you been swimming so far this year? How much? Nope, weather doesn’t permit it yet.

44. Do you ever think you’re being cheated on? I have been. Spoiler alert: it’s not That Great.

45. When was the last time you painted something? A few months ago, I painted a 3D Bulbasaur planter that I gave @luxwing for their birthday.

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nemodernmama · 5 years

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Top 10 things you could be making yourself!

Along my journey to be healthier I was shocked to understand the amount of chemicals I was consuming in certain products. I was equally shocked when I discovered how flippin’ easy these items were to make myself. When it comes to making changes, I am a huge fan of little changes that make big impacts. Try these out and let me know what you think!

1) Dressings:

Dressings take no less than 30 seconds to make. Seriously, 30 seconds people!!! They can contain as little as two ingredients (oil and vinegar). Once you learn how to make one you can make a thousand variations by changing your spices and herbs. Bonus: kids love dressing!!!

My favorite dressings are creamy I must confess, and my all-time favorite is an orange ranch where you substitute the juice of an orange and some zest for the typical lemon or vinegar you find in the standard recipe. You can shake your dressings in a jar or container and they will keep in the fridge all week.

½ c mayo

1/3 c sour cream

Tblsp milk or water

S+P and garlic powder (tsp each)

2 tblsp citrus juice (orange and grapefruit are my fav, lemon and lime combo is also superb) OR vinegar (white,champagne,balsamic,apple cider sooooo many options!)

Fresh chopped herbs (pair with your citrus, parsley goes well with lemon and cilantro goes with orange. I like chive and spicy oregano too, those I would pair with a vinegar)

1 teaspoon sugar

2) Smoothies:

Number one the price of smoothies has gotten waaay outta control! Number two they are usually packed with sugar when you get them pre-prepared either at the store or at the juice bar. People say sugar is the silent killer, but I don’t think it’s so silent. I think everyone just doesn’t want to hear it. Well good news people this one is also prepared in about 60-90 seconds depending on what you throw in your blender. Even better news, you can pretty much throw anything in there! Here is my family’s favorite recipe:

Two cups frozen fruit (WF organic fruit medley 2lb. bag)

One can coconut milk

Bunch of greens (usually spinach or kale)

½ c fruit juice (usually pineapple or pineapple cranberry)

Banana

Any fresh berries on hand or frozen (blueberry, raspberries have seeds and my kids don’t love it)

3) Popcorn:

So apparently eating microwaved popcorn is one of the worst ideas a person ever had. Having a lot to do with the butter topping and electromagnetic exposure, tasty! But popping your own popcorn is so simple your kids could do it and it takes just minutes. You don’t need any special equipment, just a stock pot with a lid. You add your oil (we use vegetable) and your popcorn kernels and cover placing over medium high heat. Shaking occasionally until you hear it stop popping. Let sit at least 60 seconds before removing top. You can add sooooo many toppings, some of our family favorites:

-Melted chocolate with sea salt

-butter salt and sugar

-salt pepper and white vinegar

-salt and parmesan cheese (not shake on, grated from a block)

I would love to hear what you try!!

4) Cheese sauce:

Who’s kids don’t looooove Mac n’ Cheese?! My kids request it daily. What if I told you, you could make it from scratch in the same amount of time as the boxed version? I confess I use the box from time to time. But as my kids get older and my boys are eating enough for grown 200 lb. men I had to start questioning what I was doing. Cooking 4 boxes of mac n cheese for one meal seemed excessive, even for me! Once you learn this sauce you can use it to make so many wonderful things! Chicken broccoli alfredo, vegetables with cheese sauce like loaded baked potato, baked mac n cheese, pretzels with cheese dip! I just love cheese 😊

2 tblsp butter

2 tblsp flour

Seasoning (S+P, dry mustard, about ½ tblsp each)

1-1 ½ c milk or half n half

1-2 1 cup grated cheese (cheddar, gruyere,parmesan,any kind you like!)

Melt butter over medium heat, add flour and whisk about 60 seconds. Add milk and seasoning continue whisking, bring up heat a bit. Whisk until thickened, about 2-3 min. remove from heat and add cheese.

5) Bread Crumbs:

How many times have you thrown away stale bread? The best meatloaf’s, meatballs, and breadcrumbs come from these leftovers that normally would be tossed. All you have to do is keep a brown bag in your kitchen drawer and throw your unused bread pieces into it. When you need bread crumbs simply pulse for 15-20 seconds in a food processor. You can mix with herbs and spices to flavor your crumbs. My favorite is S+P, garlic powder, parsley and lemon zest. For meatloaf or meatball soak bread in milk until you can crush with your fingers, add to your mixture for the moistest results.

6) Croutons:

If you catch your bread before it’s gone dry but not quite fresh it is perfect for croutons!!! Just cube and toss with Olive Oil and seasoning (I use S+P, garlic powder, parsley and shake on Parmesan cheese) and cook in 375 preheated oven for about 8-10 min. until golden, tossing occasionally.

7) Whipped cream:

Whipped cream is ONE ingredient, heavy cream. You need a bowl and a whisk and the cream needs to be cold. You whip until fluffy. My kids love love love to make whipped cream. I add a tsp. of sugar and dash of vanilla when I want sweet cream.

8) Fruit syrup:

I give my kids plain milk and almond milk but sometimes I make flavored milk and above and beyond their favorite is strawberry. Once you have learned to make strawberry syrup you can add it to milk, serve over yogurt or ice cream, make a milkshake or use it to sweeten a smoothie or bowl of oatmeal. Just like all the rest it could not be easier!!

1 carton strawberries, greens removed (can substitute any fruit, larger fruits need to be chopped)

½-1 c sugar (I find one cup to be way too sweet but if you are just lessening your intake you may need to start there and then cut back)

1 cup H2O

Optional:

Zest of citrus (I always use Orange, it is just my favorite 😊)

Put in sauce pot over medium/low heat and bring to a simmer. Let simmer until it reduces and becomes syrupy, about 8 min. for strawberries, longer for larger fruits.

My family’s favorite syrups:

Figs (cut in ½), orange (you use peel, talk about multipurpose!), peach (skin off, sliced) and blueberry (I pass thru sieve)

9) Salsa:

I love salsa!! It is so good with well just about everything! I am not talking about that soupy stuff from a jar. I am talking about cilantro bursts and bright refreshing lime followed by heat from the jalapeno on the back of your tongue. I am talking guacamole for daysssss. It is just a handful of ingredients thrown into the food processor and pulse. Once you have the basics you can go nuts changing out the ingredients always having a super FRESH, RAW topping on hand.

Two tomatoes, rough chop

Spicy pepper like jalapeno, rough chop

Cilantro bunch

Juice of one lime

S+P and garlic powder

*MMH: Taste your spicy pepper before adding to the mix to gauge heat level. Much like women peppers level of spice can vary greatly from one to another even though they look exactly alike on the outside😊

10) Memories!!!

The most important part of all of this is your relationship with food and your family’s relationship with food. When I stop to take the 10 minutes to prepare these items listed my kids inevitably end up at my feet and a memory is imprinted.

My hope is that just one person tries something new because of this post!

XOXOXO

#nemodernmama

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pftones3482 · 6 years

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Pillow Fight

Second commission for @kriss-the-writing-nerd (who I still can’t tag for some reason). They requested Pidge fluff, so Pidge fluff I wrote. More like “team member family bonding that we never get” fluff, from Pidge’s perspective.

Under a cut for length.

Lance found Pidge sitting in the dark in their room, fingers flying furiously over their computer keyboard. Their tongue was peeking from the corner of their mouth in deep concentration, and for a moment, Lance just leaned against the doorjamb and watched them with a fond smile.

When Pidge finally noticed him standing there, they jumped a good foot in the air, nearly flinging the laptop at him. "LANCE!" they snapped, chucking their pillow at him and walloping him solidly in the face. He kept laughing, and Pidge allowed an irritated smile to curl over their lips. "What do you want?"

Lance, still chuckling, bent down and swiped the pillow from the floor and threw it back at them, shaking his head when they dodged it nimbly. "Hunk and I were trying to get Keith to join us for an all-night movie party. We haven't had one of those since..."

He trailed off, eyebrows furrowing, and Pidge sighed, slipping off the bed and moving to rummage through the dresser by the door. "Since the Garrison," they murmured, lifting a sleep shirt in hand and sniffing at it thoughtfully. They ignored Lance's wrinkled nose. "We haven't done that since the Garrison."

"Simpler times, eh?" Lance teased.

Pidge shot him a finger and Lance snorted, ruffling their hair. "So what do you say?"

They sighed, shoulders slumping. "I really should finish this code for Allura. She needs it to-"

"Code, shmode, she's joining us too. Everyone is," Lance informed them. He grinned at their look and winked. "No excuses now!"

"I...yeah, that'd be nice," Pidge admitted finally, allowing a small smile to cross their face. "Just give me a few minutes to gather up some stuff, okay? I take it we're sleeping in the common room?"

"Oh yeah, Hunk is with Allura right now. He's trying to explain to her what a sleeping bag is for the fabricator. It's...not going well. There's holes where holes should not be."

Pidge snorted and shooed him from the room at that, assuring him that they would be down within the next hour to help prep a movie set up, and Lance left, the door sliding shut behind him.

If Pidge were to admit it, they enjoyed Lance's little late-night sleepover movie parties. They had rejected them several times in a row when Lance had first offered at the Garrison, opting instead to search for Matt instead of hanging out with him and Hunk.

One particular night, when Pidge had hit yet another dead end and had been having a full-blown melt down, Lance had walked into their room to borrow a stapler. He had seen the way they were curled in on themself, the way Pidge hugged their knees to their chest, the tear lines down their face, and he had thrown aside the paper (due the next morning) and had instead guided Pidge back to his and Hunk's room with a gentle hand.

The Disney movie marathon had lasted hours, popcorn battles and pillow fights lasting long past curfew, when Pidge was forced to spend the night with them or be written up, and by the end of the night, Pidge was still upset at how little they knew about Matt's whereabouts.

But they didn't turn down a sleepover offer after that.

Actually, from that moment on, Pidge had gotten closer to Lance and Hunk. They hadn't told them the whole truth, about Matt, who they were and what they were doing at the Garrison in the first place, but they had disclosed their pronouns to both boys, who had immediately been supportive and changed their speaking style.

Pidge smiled fondly and dug through their drawers, pulling out shorts and a t-shirt and tossing them onto their bed. They grabbed their toothbrush and toothpaste from the bathroom and tossed everything into a small bag before ducking into the hallway and practically racing towards the common room.

They grew more excited as they entered, finding Hunk and Allura already sitting on the floor in their pajamas, pillows and blankets fluffed up around them. They must have foregone the sleeping bags, because there were none in sight.

Hunk was describing something in great detail to Allura, his hands gesturing as he spoke, and she was leaning forward with a look of awe on her face. The mice were perched on both of their shoulders, noses twitching as they listened to the conversation.

Hunk broke off as he spotted Pidge, a grin sliding across his face as he waved them over. "Pidge! I was just telling Allura about Earth cryptids."

Pidge blinked, dropping their bag onto the couch and staring at Hunk for a long moment. "Who are you and what have you done with the skeptic I know as Hunk?"

Hunk shrugged, spreading his hands and jostling the mice. "Hey, aliens turned out to be real, right? Changed my whole world view."

"This....Big Foot," Allura said carefully, her eyebrows furrowing. Pidge had to clap a hand over their mouth to keep from laughing. "He truly has large feet? That is the only reason for the name?"

"Well, there are variations," Hunk admitted. "Sasquatch, things like that."

"No, no, no," Pidge said, shaking their head instantly and plopping down next to them. "Bigfoot and Sasquatch are two different cryptids. And don't even get me started on the Yeti."

"Yeti?"

"Guysssss," Lance groaned as he trudged into the room, an amused looking Shiro and Coran behind him. "Don't tell me you ALREADY started on the cryptid nonsense!"

"What's a cryptid?" Coran asked curiously. He was in pajamas as well, a pair of long pants and a long sleeved, loose top.

"Oh, they are creatures that most Earthlings do not believe exist! There is no proof of them," Allura explained in excitement, her eyes glinting. "They are like dooflaxes!"

"Excuse you, they were very real," Coran protested, sitting between her and Hunk. Shiro settled cross legged next to Pidge and Hunk and Lance left again, presumably to find Keith.

Pidge leaned against Shiro, settling their head on his shoulder as Hunk launched into how mermaids had been considered cryptids as well. Pidge still couldn't quite believe that he and Lance had actually met mermaids, and they had missed it.

"So what exactly do we...do at one of these sleepovers?" Shiro asked.

He was directing the question at them, Pidge realized, seeing as Allura and Coran were still occupied by Hunk's stories. "Well, usually half the time we were trying not to be too loud, so that the hall monitors wouldn't catch us. But like...movies, popcorn and pillow fights, ice cream sundaes, stuff like that."

"How did you guys get away with all that?" Shiro demanded with a shake of his head. "Matt and I could never get more than an extra scoop in the cafeteria, and even that was a stretch."

Pidge grinned. "You and Matt cared about asking too much."

"Touche."

Lance returned, this time with a disgruntled looking, pajama wearing Keith in tow, and he plopped down unceremoniously in front of the large screen monitor in the room. "Pidge, show me how to work this thing. We're finding an Altean movie to watch if it kills me."

"Actually, I have every single Disney movie ever made downloaded to the castle system," Pidge informed him.

Everyone stopped talking, turning to look at them, and they grinned and shrugged. "They were all on my computer illegally, it didn't take much rewiring to transfer them here."

"You're telling me I could have been watching Atlantis and the Little Mermaid on repeat this whole time and you DIDN'T TELL ME?" Lance yelped.

Pidge chuckled and shifted until they stood next to him, pulling up their movie selection and glancing back. "We should do a vote. So it's more fair. Most popular go first, and we work our way down the list."

Coran raised his hand slowly. "Uh...what are these films about?"

"Quiznak."

After almost an hour of explanation on basic movie plots, Hunk passed out sheets of paper and ordered everyone to pick their top three movies. Pidge collected them, organized them into groupings, and grinned at some of the similarities.

"Okay, so literally everyone put Lilo and Stitch on their list in one spot or another, so that one is definitely first."

"It's a movie about aliens!" Allura said in delight. "How could we not choose it?"

Pidge shook their head, smiling. "Second was Atlantis."

"Hell yeah!"

"Lance, language," Shiro chided.

"Rapunzel and Aladdin tied, so we'll watch those one right after the other," Pidge said, scanning the rest of the list. "And then, in this order, The Little Mermaid, Big Hero Six, Moana, and Brother Bear."

"Really?" Lance asked in surprise. "No one ever picks Brother Bear with me! You guys always say it's lame!"

Pidge side eyed Keith with a smirk, and he shrugged sheepishly. "I've...never seen it. It sounds kinda cool."

"Keith, my MAN!" Lance whooped. "You DO have a Disney side!"

Keith scoffed. "I'm not heartless, anyone who doesn't like Lilo and Stitch and Big Hero Six isn't a real person."

Pidge cued up Lilo and Stitch while Hunk and Lance bolted to the kitchen for space popcorn, which was the same as Earth popcorn, except it had a green tint to it and an almost peppermint flavor. They returned with a massive bucketful and passed out bowls to everyone before settling back down while one of the mice scurried to the lights and bopped them off with their nose.

The moment Stitch appeared on screen, Allura shrieked in delight, making Pidge nearly fling their popcorn into the air in surprise. "HE LOOKS LIKE A CALEENOON!"

"A who now?" Hunk winced, rubbing at his ear.

Coran also looked delighted. "They were a small race of aliens that had the same general look to them as this creature does. Except they were the size of houses."

The humans in the room glanced at one another, biting back smiles, and Pidge settled back against Shiro's chest, tossing a minty piece of space corn in their mouth and allowing themself to sink into the movie.

They continued the pattern for Atlantis and Rapunzel, leaving Allura and Coran slack jawed at Lance and Hunk's dramatic recreations of the music. Pidge could swear they even saw Keith mouthing the words to most of the songs, the tiniest of smiles on his face as he watched Hunk and Lance's antics.

"You did this with them back home, why not now?" Shiro asked at one point, when they were halfway through the 'I Have a Dream' song.

Pidge shrugged, shifting so that they were looking at him. "It's nice to just watch. Plus, you'd fling yourself out of the castle if you heard me sing."

"Lies, all lies!" Lance declared, draping himself over Pidge's form and pressing at their cheeks with his fingers. "Pidgeon is a lovely singer."

"Said no one ever," Pidge deadpanned, grabbing a couch cushion without looking and thwapping Lance in the face.

He screeched in outrage, grabbed another pillow, and that was the end of sanity. For the next ten minutes, the room was utter chaos, pillows and blankets flying, people shouting, Hunk attempting to explain what was going on to Allura and Coran and Allura completely ignoring him in favor of picking up a massive, poofy pink pillow and slam dunking it straight onto Shiro's head.

Even Keith joined in, though he was more strategic in his fighting than everyone else, taking well placed hits and ducking and weaving through the carnage. He hopped over Hunk at one point, who had collapsed to the ground, only to fling a pillow in his face at the last second, leaving the paladin on the ground squawking in protest.

At some point, Pidge registered the computer monitor blinking, indicating an incoming message, and they hit the "Accept transmission" message without thinking.

"Hey guys, was just calling to...are you having a pillow fight?" Matt asked, eyebrows shooting up.

Pidge turned back to see what he was seeing and nearly choked.

Lance was sitting on top of Shiro's shoulders, a pillow frozen mid-swing at Keith, who was holding two pillows in each hand. Shiro was clinging to Lance's legs with a ferocity that Pidge hadn't seen since their last battle, and there was a blanket tied around his neck like a cape.

Hunk was being pinned by Coran, but was still shoving a pillow into the man's face and squishing him back, using his position to thrust upwards easily.

Allura was five steps behind Keith, another pillow frozen mid-swing, ready to smack the unsuspecting victim.

The mice were cowering on the couch, munching on bits of popcorn and taking in the whole spectacle with wide eyes.

"Um....yes," Pidge finally answered their brother.

Matt studied them for another second before nodding seriously. "I'm sad you didn't invite me. Carry on."

The transmission blacked out, returning Rapunzel to the screen, and for a moment, the only sound in the room was the clanging of Rapunzel's frying pan.

Chaos ripped loose the moment that Allura slammed into the back of Keith's head with her pillow, sending him flailing to the ground.

Pidge grinned, gripped their pillow tighter, and dove back into the battle.

Three in the morning found the group finally winding down, Phil Collins wafting through the background as the end credits for Brother Bear rolled across the screen.

Coran was already out, snoring on the couch with an arm slung over his eyes and a blanket haphazardly tugged up to his chest. One of his legs was draped across the back of the couch, and the mice were curled up on his stomach.

Hunk and Allura were curled up next to Pidge, Allura resting her head on Hunk's chest as his hands tangled with her hair, tying it up into loose braids and buns and twists. She was nearly asleep, a fond smile on her face.

Keith and Shiro were shoulder to shoulder on Pidge's other side, Shiro slumped over and snoring with a blanket drawn up to his shoulders. Keith and Lance were talking quietly about Brother Bear's plotline as Lance moved about the room, cleaning up most of the mess and draping blankets over people as they fell asleep.

Pidge had missed this. Missed the long nights and the soft tones of Lance talking about his favorite movies while he cleaned up, much more responsible than people gave him credit for. Missed sleeping in a group of people, snores and deep breathing reminding them that they were surrounded by trustworthy individuals: their father had always said that if someone could fall asleep around you, they trusted you, and vice versa.

They could feel their eyelids getting heavier as Lance finally shut off the monitor, sending the room into darkness, and shimmied in between Pidge and Keith, handing both of them blankets. Pidge yawned and twisted, curling around until their head rested on Lance's lap. He tapped their head a moment later and they lifted obediently, long enough for him to cover his legs with a blanket and then settle a pillow down for them to lay on.

"Thanks," Pidge mumbled, rubbing their eye sleepily and dragging the blanket Lance had handed them up to their shoulders. "For the...for the movie night."

"It was fun," Keith murmured into the night. "Never done that before."

"We should do them more often," Allura agreed, and Pidge jumped, because they hadn't realized she was still awake.

Lance chuckled, and his fingers slid into a comforting place in Pidge's hair, his blunt nails scratching at their scalp. They hummed happily and settled into a comfortable position. "It'll definitely become a regular thing," Lance promised.

Content, even despite knowing they were going to have a crick in their neck in the morning, Pidge drifted to sleep with fingers dragging through their hair and the sound of Keith's humming.

#my writing #voltron #vld #voltron: legendary defender #voltron fanfiction #fluff #writing commissions

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lonelypond · 6 years

Text

PhotoJazz, Chapter 4

Love Live, NicoMaki, 6.6K, 4/5

Summary: Nico and Maki invade LA for a photoshoot.

A Fine Romance

Maki was not a morning person. Not going to bed was the only way she was ever up early enough to see the sun rise. And that usually only happened if she was near a beach. Or caught by an idea. And yes, Maki, was caught at the moment, but it was more like tripped up by circumstances beyond her control and snared by a semi-scenic view while bothered by bitey gnats, rather than calmly enjoying the horizon. Sunglasses, coat, 2 cameras, a laptop, and a change of clothes shoved into one bag, plus the sweat pants, t-shirt, and a hoodie comfortable enough to sleep on the plane in she was wearing. Nico was bright eyed, impossibly bright eyed behind large sunglasses, and practically merry, dressed in a svelte black knit dress with a gray shawl thrown over her hair and shoulders. She waved at Maki, pulling her bag behind her as she approached with a chirped, “Good morning.”

Maki glared over her sliding sunglasses, “Not until I sleep it’s not.”

“You look terrible.” Nico frowned, pushing Maki’s sunglasses back up the redhead’s nose. Maki was too tired to startle at the encroachment.

“Flattery, how kind.” Sarcasm before noon was a given, Yazawa might as well get used to it. “It’s your fault.

A smirk, of course it was a smirk, “Oh, did thinking about Nico keep you up all night?”

“Researching your photo shoot did.” Maki followed Nico to the gate.

Nico waved her free hand airily, speeding along, “Nico has it all under control.”

“No, I took a look at the venue on line last night. And Houdini. I have some really good ideas.” Maki raced a bit to catch up to Nico, cursing herself for sounding eager.

Nico stopped, turning to face the photographer, “Nico knows what works.”

Maki was beginning to believe half of her conversations with Nico were hallucinations. Unacceptable. Maki was not going to get dragged around LA like Nico had dragged her around Evanston and Chicago. Maki pulled her phone out her pocket, showing Nico the message stream, “You sent me this: ‘She redid Garbo’s image like Nico needs you to do with hers.’”

“That was last night. Now Nico has a plan.” Nico frowned at Maki’s vibrating with censure.

“A plan you didn’t ask me about? That’s like having a Ferrari and only taking it out to go to the grocery store.” Maki was shouting, people were staring, “Did you even research what I can do?”

“Ferrari?” Nico snorted, dodging Maki’s question. “Curvy and fast and driveable?”

“Expensive, a fucking work of art, and extremely temperamental.” Maki caught herself before a glass window met her phone, shoving it deep in her coat pocket.

“Do you do your own PR?”

“Yes.” Maki began speed walking toward the gate again. “Why did you even call me?”

“We worked together well. You were nice to my little brother. You’re cute.” Nico smiled as she matched Maki’s pace.

“We did not work together well. It was only going to be one time so I just bit my lip to get it over with.” Maki glared down at the speedy speck keeping up with her too easily.

Nico’s look was a carefully nuanced take on ‘who’s fault was that?” and Maki felt like spitting. Then her brain threw up on the word “cute.”

“I am not cute.”

Nico giggled, “I beg to differ. You’re adorable.”

“I am not.” Maki huffed, changing the shoulder she had her bag slung over . “You just said you were ‘a fucking work of art’ so obviously you’re not into being modest. Nico knows cute.”

Maki stopped. “Cute is for little kids and puppies.” She stared at Nico, “Is all this an attempt to...are you trying to…” Maki felt a shiver, “date me? Is that why you...the flowers...” Maki had been trying not to let a suspicion form in her mind but the ROSES had kept staring at her from her studio work table.

Nico doubled over, with laughter or potential cramp, Maki wasn’t sure. Then she heard the sniggering. “See. Adorable. No, Nico is not trying to date or drive you, Ms. NishiCARno. Nico really really needs a photographer and Nozomi is being a really really terrible friend, leaving me like this, right when people are interested in Nico’s next step.” Nico blinked, her eyes soft, deep and hopeful, “But Nico needs people to pay attention so if I have to be out of my comfort zone, being associated with someone stylish, hot, intriguing, high class, and talented doesn’t hurt my image.”

It was all plotted out, emotionless, practical, rapacious, their interactions designed to boost Nico’s profile and image. Maki respected the thought process while swallowing the hurt at being revealed to be as much of a tool to Yazawa as her camera.

Nico’s next statement was softer, “Nico has no time for personal, right now.” She rested her hand quickly on Maki’s, “But I don’t mind the eye candy.”

Oh gods, somehow that made it worse. Not only was Maki a tool, she was practically a pinup. How very impersonal. Maki pulled her hand back, inhaling, forcing her voice not to quaver. No one was walking over her, certainly not this tiny template of terror, “I ordered props. For part of this, we will be doing things my way.” She stood as tall as she could, eyes narrowed, jaw set. “Or I don’t get on the plane.”

Nico shrugged casually, as if Maki were being silly about which ice cream flavor to choose, and vroomed down the corridor leading to their plane, Maki struggling to keep up as adrenaline drained from her system.

Fancy hotel, penthouse suite. 2 rooms and shared spaces. The entire floor. Private elevator. When Maki travelled, it was usually to a family holding, the beach house, the mountain cabin, the friend’s barely off Broadway loft. This much space was...disconcerting. Strange. It made her want to be close to someone, but the only person to be close to was Nico and that wasn’t happening. Maki missed Eli and Umi, even Alisa. They were always good for pointing out a new side of things, of finding amusing quirks to tease at, there was a comfortable level of banter, honed over college studies and joint travels. With Nico, it was like Maki had been swept up in a hurricane of extroverted celebrity status with a steady rain of charming and washed ashore someplace she’d never even seen on a map. Disorienting. Plus, the eye candy thing...how did you even respond to someone who dismisses you so thoroughly, then compliments you in the same sentence.

Nico and Maki barely spoken on the flight (Nico had taken the time to inform Maki about the decibel levels of her snoring when they landed) or the limo ride here. No comfort level, no banter or patter or...Maki sighed, threw herself on divan number 3 and started carefully examining the nearly 10 pounds of wood and brass and leather bellows of the camera in front of her. She had a page up on her laptop that demonstrated all the ways the lens could be angled and modified. It was fascinating. And a little scary. But Nico had said the camera was hers so Maki was more confident than she might have been in how much fun she could have. The hardest part would be not seeing the pictures until she got to a darkroom. And figuring out how to use a darkroom again. Maki had taken many photos on film and gone through the basics at school, but she’d focused so much on digital and animated manipulations that physical ones would have to be forcibly remembered. An interesting challenge. Nico seemed to present them.

Maki lifted up the film holders, choosing one to slide in. Now what would make an interesting test picture? Nico came out of the bathroom, in the very definition of a little black dress, shiny metallic heels adding to her height, hair swept up in a bun, eyelashes lengthened, eyes, well, the eyes, they were judging, Maki could tell.

“Nerd.” Nico pursed her lips, “Go get changed.”

“Huh?” Maki glanced up from where she was cautiously trying to slide the frame into the camera without scratching any of the carefully ground glass necessary for operating the contraption.

Nico rested a hand on her hip, “We are attending a party. You have people to meet. Nico is helping you extend your social circle.”

Maki shook her head, pointing to the camera, “This is the only company I need.”

Nico pouted, “There’s food. Don’t you want dinner? It’s in the ballroom downstairs so you can always wander back here.”

“What’s the party for?”

Nico shrugged, “Thursday? I don’t know. Someone’s premiering something, some company brought several cases of champagnes, lots of actresses are wandering around looking for someone to compliment their choice of designer charity. And shoes. Always pay attention to the shoes. Dates have been ruined over the clash between Louboutin fans and my Brian Atwoods.”

Maki slowly finished sliding in the negative, “You sound jaded. And are shoes really that important?”

Nico’s laugh was harsh and throaty as she sat primly on the edge of the couch, not quite near Maki, “You should see Nico in her Georgia Vic boots. They lace up to here.” Nico traced a line midway up her thigh with a finger. “Your inner Mapplethorpe would drool.” Nico stared thoughtfully at her current shoes, sleek, stiletto and silver gold leather, “Nico has been doing this for a long time. I thought it might be fun to bring new eyes.” Nico leaned in toward Maki, lengthy eyelashes fluttering as Maki’s fought her tendency to focus on the color variations of Nico’s lips. Tonight the pink had a touch of gray. Nico continued, almost wistful. “Such pretty eyes too. Would you prefer lovely lavender or amazing amethyst when I TWIG about you?” She pulled out her phone and prepared to take a photo of Maki.

Flushing, Maki knocked away the phone as the camera clicked, her hand briefly brushing Nico’s. “Vexed violet if you post that shot. Please stop with the compliments. They don’t work on me.” Maki hefted the Century Universal between them, “You wouldn’t get any closeups from here with this thing.”

Another pout, “That’s a not subtle way to get Nico to back off. Isn’t it? Pretty camera though, they took good care of it.” Nico stroked the cherry and mahogany as Maki put the camera back on the table. “Come to the Gala with me. Nico needs a wingwoman.”

“I didn’t bring anything formal.” Maki slouched, still in her sweats. “All working clothes. And I thought you weren’t interested in dating.”

“There’s dating and there’s…” Nico winked, stretching a hand out, neatly trimmed nails painted silver catching the light, “flirting with possibilities.”

Maki refused to acknowledge Nico, back to fidgeting with the camera as Nico watched her, amused at Maki’s discomfort at the subtext.

“Hmmmm….” Nico started entering numbers into her phone, “I’m sure the concierge can scrounge up a tuxedo jacket.” Nico glanced at Maki speculatively, “And I’m betting you packed at least one impressive street art inspired t-shirt. Just tell me you have something that isn’t sweats.”

“Black jeans.” Maki admitted.

Nico flashed the okay sign as she spoke into her phone, “Hi, this is Nico Yazawa in the penthouse suite. Do you think you could scrounge me up a tuxedo jacket in a medium-ish size, decent shoulders, tapered at the waist, and some kind of street style fashion forward hat….Yes, it’s for the Gala...Half an hour would be perfect. Thank you!”

Maki couldn’t remember agreeing to go with Nico. That seemed to be happening near daily since Eli’s marriage. But then Nico was shoving her playfully off the couch with a laugh and Maki went to change into the only respectable piece of clothing she’d packed.

My Funny Valentine

The band was good. That seemed to be a feature of parties where Maki and Nico’s paths crossed. Jazz again, with a singer. Nico rolled her eyes and pulled Maki to the bar, grabbing them both champagne flutes.

“Here’s to taking Hollywood by storm, Imogen.” Nico’s eyes fizzed with daring as champagne bubbles tickled Maki’s nose.

“Imogen?” Maki wiggled her nose to hold back a sneeze, then tilted her glass to tap Nico’s.

“Imogen Cunningham, nudes and flowers.” Nico puffed her chest out like a feathered show off about to strut and crow. “Nico now knows more about photographers than you do.Want to know why Berenice Abbott used black and white in her photos of New York City? Nico can tell you.”

Maki giggled, a little stunned by Nico’s sudden desire to be an encyclopedia of photographers. “Do you want a camera for Christmas too? I’ll let Santa know.”

Nico pouted, “Nico is fine. What does Maki want to talk about?”

Maki glanced around the ballroom, the quartet at the front breaking into a lively rendition of “My Funny Valentine.” She poked Nico with her empty flute, suddenly giddy and wondering if she shouldn’t have just gotten some rest or food first, “Name the composer.” Maki swept her arm out to point to the band, Nico ducking under.

“Hey watch it.” Nico confiscated the glass, “Let’s get you some food.”

“Composer.” Maki was going to continue stubborn, no matter how much her stomach rumbled at the thought of tasting anything solid enough to chew.

“Rodgers and Hart. Nico was in a production of Babes in Arms in a community theatre in high school. Want me to sing ‘The Lady is A Tramp”’ for you? You seem too hungry to wait for dinner this late.” Nico’s smile bumped up several notches and she reached out to pull someone into a hug, “Ags! I haven’t seen you in forever.“

‘NICO!” A tiny blonde screamed and leapt into Nico’s embrace. “You’re back!!???!?!”

“With two degrees.” Nico announced proudly as most of the room focused temporarily on this reunion.

“I’m so impressed. Everyone was saying you’d get bored and Northwestern would be too hard.”

Maki noticed Nico’s jaw tighten, but her smile only got brighter, “Studying lines is good practice for college.”

Ags giggled, “It would be. Maybe I’ll find someplace with cute fraternity guys.”

“Go for it.” Nico raised her hands to her temples, “Nico Ni recommends it.”

Ags lost it, giggles pouring out of her, “Oh, Nico, it’s been years. You’re still so...Nico.”

Again, a tightening of Nico’s jaw. Ags’s brown eyes finally noticed Maki, “Who’s your date?”

“This is my friend, Maki Nishikino. She’s a photographer. Had a show at the Annenberg two years ago.”

“Ooh, good looking and distinguished. You could always pick ‘em.” Ags extended a hand, “I’m Agnes Villeneuve, Nico and I did a few shows together.”

Maki shook Agnes’s hand, unimpressed with how lightly it rested in hers. Wouldn’t trust that grip with any of her cameras. She wondered what other facts Nico had filed away about her career, right alongside Harriet Ruth Louise’s, Martha Cooper’s, and Berenice Abbott’s. Maki started twirling her hair as Nico filled Agnes in on the plans for her LA visit. When Agnes started to dish gossip from her latest job, Maki excused herself to grab some food.

Ah, everything was better and more bearable with half a tray worth of savory smoked salmon vol-au-vents, Maki realized, surveying the party again, calmer, not sure where Nico had gotten to. Then she was stumbled into with a giggle. She glanced down to find her arms full of a woman filling out a slip of a scarlet dress.

“Are you all right?” Maki asked politely as she assisted the woman to her feet as rapidly as possible.

“Are you Maki Nishikino? My friends and I were wondering. I’m Amy, hi!” Blue eyes in too pale skin blinked at Maki.

Maki smoothed her hair back over her ear, “I am. Did you…”

“OH MY GOD! So what were Anju and Erena like? Did you have a threesome?” A grab of her arm and Maki found herself stumbling backwards, “I’d pose naked for you. Do you like bubble baths?”

Maki thought as often as she heard some variation on that, she’d be used to it. But no, her whole body went to ‘avoid apocalypse’ mode while her face turned as red as biologically possible and her brain refused to provide anything that could qualify as conversation, or even syllables. It was a little like scat singing with only the empty, creaky passage of air through her vocal chords. “Drink” came out eventually as Maki picked an adjacent clump of partygoers to dive into, nodding at one, inadvertently elbowing another, escaping as quickly as possible. She picked up another flute of champagne at the bar, wondering if she should just retreat upstairs and get a bottle of Laphroig from room service.

“What the hell did that woman say to you? Offer to pose nude?” Nico’s voice barked, loud enough that everyone nearby turned to stare. Maki felt the flute slide out of her fingers. It tilted when it hit the bar, spilling. “Really? Wow. You have it worse than Nico.”

Maki gulped, not making eye contact with ANYONE and mouthing “Water” at the bartender. He popped the lid on a small bottle of Limonata San Pellegrino and handed it over. Maki took a swallow, hissing a little at the citrus bite.

“Hand me a champagne, please.” A smooth voice slid into Maki’s hearing. She turned. A tall, elegant woman in a black and gold suit, with matching stacked bracelets, smiled at her, “Maki Nishikino, right? I’m honored to meet you.” Maki picked up a flute and handed it to the new person, feeling Nico lean into the bar on the other side of her. After a sip, the conversation continued, “I’m Jada Jefferson. I saw your work at the Annenberg, but what I really loved was how you worked mythology into your Tsubasa Kira shoot. She said it impacted the songs she wrote for her next album.” A slow smile, a toasty welcome to match the warm brown of Jada’s skin tone, “Impressive to have that much of an effect.” Jada tilted her glass toward Maki, who could feel Nico vibrating next to her.

Then Nico’s hand reached across Maki to grab her own glass of champagne. “We were having a conversation.”

The smile got broader, “Nico, right? My little cousin loved your show. My aunty used to buy her your albums for her birthday and Christmas. Fun stuff for kids. She cried when you retired.”

Nico spluttered. Maki was a little fascinated and found herself half turning to watch. Jada continued, cutting off any response from Nico. “What brings you to LA, Maki?”

“Nico.” Nico and Maki both spoke at the same moment, with completely different intonations. Nico huffed as Maki continued, “She dragged me out here because one of my best friends eloped with her pet photographer. They’re on their honeymoon in Australia right now.”

“Ah, that explains it. You seem more panther than tabby.” Jada sipped her champagne.

Maki was only watching Nico out of her peripheral vision but she swore the tiny tantrum went white with rage, “Nope. Just a favor for a friend. Temping.” Maki laughed, “Haven’t done that since college. It’s nice to be flown first class though.” Maki admitted.

“Well, if you want a tour of LA’s...” Jada paused, “Of anything LA, really, nightspots, museums, statuary, here’s my card. My schedule’s fairly flexible. I have my own law firm.” Jada’s fingers lingered on Maki’s hand, gold and onyx bangles jingling on her wrist.

“Thanks!” Maki pocketed the card with a nod.

“You won’t have time.” Nico muttered, nudging Maki with a sharp elbow, as Jada moved to a group of people she was obviously friendly with.

Maki raised an eyebrow, “I don’t have a personal assistant for many reasons, one is that so no one tells me my schedule.” Maki’s grin was provocative, “Plus, after I’m done with you…” Maki shrugged.

“Classy, Nishikino. Nico has friends to find.” Nico whirled away, her mood stormy. Amused, Maki wondered if she should try a test photo with the Century, but she didn’t want to waste the negatives. Did Nico have anything to wear for the Houdini part of the photoshoot? Maybe the concierge could help out again, if Maki asked for something channelling the Debbie Ocean at the end of Oceans 8 vibe. She should go upstairs, look over her Houdini research and plan her shots. She would save a dozen negatives for that and keep the Fuji handy. How far into Houdini mode would Nico be willing to go? Obviously, actually escaping required practice Nico didn’t have, but Maki had ideas to make it look like Nico had without endangering her. Getting Nico in the water tank would probably take some persuading. Maki finished her water and headed to the elevator. Time to write it all down and sketch out the best angles. The Century Universal and the limited film at hand made her choices more weighted.

The More I See You

Maki stumbled out of her bedroom. Too early again, two days in a row. Nico was already awake, with variety breakfast options spread out on the table.

“Sit and eat. The limo’s due in a half an hour.” Nico tilted her head at Maki as she picked at a fruit salad, “Your hair’s standing up. Have a nightmare?”

“Right now.” Maki grumbled, grabbing a scone.

“Rude.” Nico stuck out her tongue and pushed a mug in Maki’s direction, “I made coffee.”

Maki grunted, chewing through the scone, “Donuts are nice.”

“Not healthy.”

“Morale is important.” Maki inhaled coffee, leaning over the mug, waking up brain cell by brain cell.

Nico leaned back, laced her fingers together and stretched. A few more of Maki’s brain cells woke up. Nico bopped to her feet. “Nico is going to change. We’ll pack up what you don’t eat. Don’t need you getting silly from hunger again, like last night.”

“There won’t be champagne.” Maki pointed out.

Nico stopped by the couch, picking up a garment bag, “The concierge had this delivered. What is it?”

“For the Houdini part. I told her Sandra Bullock with the martini at the end of Oceans 8.” Nico didn’t say anything and Maki wondered if she’d gone too far, picking out a look, “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

Nico nodded, unzipping the bag halfway, but black and white formal isn’t terribly gripping without a frame to drape over, “It’s fine.” Nico licked her lips, thoughtful, “Nico is just surprised by your attention to detail.”

Maki shrugged and grabbed a strawberry, “I don’t want to waste your time. I planned out a few shots. We can discuss them on the ride over. It shouldn’t be anything too difficult.” Maki was beginning to doubt the wisdom of the water tank, by late afternoon, it might be chilly. “If anything makes you uncomfortable, we’ll skip it.”

Nico seemed surprised by the concern in Maki’s voice and took a minute to zip the bag back up. Her reply was hesitant, almost deferential. “Nico wants to know how you see this. I can manage whatever you have in mind.”

Maki nodded, digging out more berries, both straw and blue, and skipping on to the next topic in her head, would the chains drape well? And would the linen fabric of Nico’s shirt get caught or dragged?

I Don’t Know Enough About You

The morning had gone fairly well. The Century Universal had proven surprisingly cooperative to work with, as had Nico. Maki was impressed by Nico’s professionalism. There was no flirting, no patter, just some questions about poses and locations, a few smiles for the assistants helping with lighting and props, the initial conversation about the charms of the grounds. Nico hadn’t even blinked when she’d seen the water tank...or the chains. There might have been a sharp glint in the ruby deeps, sparked off the Mapplethorpe jibe Nico swallowed as she twirled handcuffs around her finger, but no actual cutting remark.

“Nothing locks. I made sure. We can test it on me first.” Maki hurried to reassure Nico that she had taken proper safety precautions.

“That’s quite an offer, Maaaki,” Nico dragged out her name with a wink; Maki rolled her eyes and went back to looking for the tripod in the collection of gear they’d had the assistants carry onto the grounds. “I have to get changed and do makeup.” Ignored, Nico put the handcuffs back in their place, “Will you be ready in 20 minutes?”

Maki found the tripod, set it up, and crouched to push at the legs to see how securely it was going to sit.

“Maki?” Nico prodded Maki on the shoulder and the redhead glanced up, not paying full attention, “20 minutes?”

“Sure.” Back to the tripod. Now to check the connections between camera and base. Then Maki could work on sliding in the frames without jostling the camera. What had Nico said?

When Nico returned, in a long black and white gown, hair loosely gathered at the back of her neck to fall gracefully down her back, agile lips a dark pink, sparkling eyes framed by dark lashes, expressive eyebrows raised for comment, cheekbones carved with exquisite and subtle strokes, Maki just stopped, struck by a Nico stripped down to her roots, caught by the stark beauty of Nico’s profile, the pull of the star’s focused glance, the drive and dash that came through with each flicker of a change of expression. Holy fuck, Maki thought, this was what drew moviegoers into the dream realms captured on the screen, this distilled power, this fascination. Maki found herself getting excited, eager to see what a vintage classic could capture of a modern one.

It was relaxing Maki realized, as the shoot progressed, to just be this focused on her camera and her work and trust Nico to be where, what and who she needed. Nico didn’t need coaxing or compliments, if Maki happened to blurt out a genuine appreciation for Nico’s eyes at that angle or the way the star’s smile teased between fire and flirt, Nico barely acknowledged the photographer had spoken. No attention drawn, Maki happily working in a cocoon of obliviousness. Then one of the assistants spoke quickly to Nico, pointing to something on her phone while Maki was making a position change for the camera. They were shooting by the Waterfall and the Grand Stairway, Nico bravely scrambling over rocks for the angles Maki wanted, careful only for her gown.

Nico frowned. “Security says someone is here for you.”

Maki was confused, Eli didn’t even know where they planned to shoot. “Nope. Can’t be. Nobody knows I’m here.”

Nico crossed her arms as Tsubasa Kira appeared at the top of the stairway, in a chic, green crushed velvet suit, waving, her voice echoing, “Maki! You should have told me you were in LA. We could have had dinner last night.”

“Oh, hi, Tsubasa!” Maki stepped out from behind the Century, grimacing apologetically at Nico.

Tsubasa took her time descending the staircase, heading immediately to Maki and sliding her arm through the photographer’s, “Introduce me.” Tsubasa raised an eyebrow at Nico, “Although I know who you are, Nico. Your TWIG feed told me where to find my favorite photographer.”

Tsubasa gleamed at Maki, who shook off her arm, hands going to her pockets. “Tsubasa Kira, Nico Yazawa.”

“I’m a performer as well.” Tsubasa extended a hand to Nico, who watched the action warily before a quick, hard shake.

“I know. Mermaid, right.” Nico gritted, “You’ll enjoy the grotto. It’s damp. There’s a koi pond up there you can dip your fins in.”

“I’m so glad that picture is pulled so often when someone is doing an article about the genius of Maki Nishikino. I’m glad to have been a humble help.” Tsubasa bowed, smiling in Maki’s direction.

Nico snorted and Maki stared at her. Nico winked, causing a blush and a turnaway, then flipped her attention back to Tsubasa, “Yeah, Kendrick’s def rapping about you.”

Tsubasa decided to stop clashing with Nico and check out what Maki was doing. With quick steps she moved to the Century, hands out, curious. Nico leaned against a railing.

“Don’t touch it.” Maki snapped at Tsubasa, who made a big show of leaping back.

“Is it that unsteady?” The singer wondered, unbuttoning her jacket.

Maki bobbed her head back and forth for a few seconds, “You just have to approach it with respect.” She checked the tripod again, and glanced at Nico. “I have to adjust the bellows. Nico, didn’t you need a gown change?”

Nico had her arms crossed and shook her head, “I’m only adding a shawl. Ben can help me.”

“Ok.” Maki started stretching the bellows out, changing the angle of the lens while one of the more eager assistants carefully sorted through the clothes on the hanging rack.

“You really do look 16.” Tsubasa, having taking steps to the left, was now back in Nico range and taking the time for a thorough once over, “No wonder no one takes you seriously.”

Nico bit her lip, Maki thought she saw a fist clench on the side of Nico turned away from the conversation. But Nico’s voice was confident and calm, her shrug exquisite, bare shoulders rolling confidently through disdain and dismissal, “Their mistake.”

Tsubasa glanced back to Maki, “Do you mind if I hang around and watch?”

Maki shook her head, frowning, “We need to catch all the natural light we can. And there’s a few stunts I want Nico to do after this batch of poses, so no, I really don’t have the time for company.”

“We really don’t.” Nico repeated, her tone mild, her pose tolerant.

Tsubasa moved in closer to Maki, reaching to caress the photographer’s forearm, “Maybe we can meet for dinner somewhere with a view of the ocean. I’ve missed your perspective on art and music. I’m finishing a new album.”

Maki stood, hands on her hips, glancing quickly at a very still Nico, still biting her lip, eyes staring off to the side, disinterest too obviously a performance choice to be a clue to Nico’s real thoughts. Maki smiled down at Tsubasa, “Thanks for the visit, Tsubasa. Call me if you’re in Chicago and we can catch dinner and a view of Lake Michigan. My treat.”

Tsubasa tried for delighted at the prospect, but her mood had wilted, “It was good to see you, Maki.” She stood on tiptoe to kiss Maki on the cheek. “I’ll send you concert tickets when I tour the Midwest this February.”

“Thanks.” Maki waved, then went immediately back to her camera, ignoring Nico, who chuckled, waved grandly at Tsubasa, and let Ben hand her the shawl.

“Where do you want me, O Unwerth-y one?”

I’m Beginning To See The Light

Maki was surprised. Somehow a Nico who looked so girly and frilly and perfect in pink was also pulling off a disconcertingly dashing level of ‘wow’ with an undone tie, open at the collar linen shirt, black pants, sable hair falling soft and silky below her shoulders, eyes sharp and shrewd. Then came the shots of Nico bold in a hidden, shadowed archway, chains wrapped around Nico’s arms, neck, and torso. They’d started with locks, arrayed as Houdini usually had them, but leaving them off made for a better visual. Nico easily handled the added weight of the chains as she moved, as if she worked with them every day. Then came the water tank, set up in the late afternoon sun in front of the lower entrance to the Clock Tower, lion guardians vigilant.

It had been a long day and the stretches of silence lengthened. There’d been a quick break for lunch, but Nico had been telling entertaining on set stories to the assistants, keeping them amused while Maki ate enough to fuel her for the rest of the day. She’d been happy with the lighting and the poses from the Garbo part of the shoot, Nico alternating between staring aslant the camera with an almost ethereal intensity to challenging the lens with a winsome, smirky smile. Somehow a fishing rod had been briefly involved, which led to snarl when Maki mistook Nico’s intent, thinking she was going to cast in the direction of the camera. No koi were tempted by the shiny lure.

And then they came to the moment. Nico and Maki, standing practically hip to hip, staring at the tank. Nico subdued.

“He really did it, huh?” Nico stared, watching the water move as a breeze blew over the open tank.

“In two minutes. Hanging upside down from stocks. There were tricks, of course.” Maki stared down at Nico, who was still watching the water.

“So I go in, float for a minute to give you time to take that picture and change out the negative, and then drop the chains and push myself out of the water while you take that picture with every camera you have.”

“Exactly.” Maki thought she might have sounded nervous, while Nico just seemed as calm as if she were asking about their dinner plans.

Nico smiled, “You asked for it.” Big inhale, “Take a great picture or Nico will never forgive you.”

Maki nodded, her hand resting briefly on Nico’s shoulder. Nico climbed the step ladder, letting two of the assistants help her reposition the chains and place her in the handcuffs, which were designed, as the shackles for her feet were, to break apart when Nico tugged. Nico sat on the edge of the square, six foot high tank, her feet in the water. Maki was starting to feel a bit dizzy and then she remembered breathing. Nico would have to hold her breath, Maki would have to manage her cameras as best and rapidly as she ever had.

Nico’s eyes, wide and worried, caught her, through the camera, as Maki, dark cloth over her head, focused the cocked lens, and prepared to slide in the film holder and press the cable release. Maki stepped back, letting the fabric fall.

“You okay, Nico? We don’t have to do this.” Maki knelt to check the timer on her digital set up; it would take a flurry of photos once she hit go. No time like now. Maki took a deep breath. Go.

“Nico never disappoints a lady.” Nico winked and blew a kiss that the camera managed to catch.

“Noted.” Maki walked over to the tank, eyes serious, “I’ll give you a signal and once you drop in, I’ll take the pic, then I’ll need about 20 seconds to switch out the film frame. I’ll have to recock the lens. The digital camera will be taking pics the whole time. If you’re having trouble, knock on the tank and we’ll pull you out.”

“Got it.” Nico gave two thumbs up, carefully tilting the handcuffs. Maki thought she caught a shiver. Nico had had her lower legs in the water for a few minutes. Maki racewalked back to the camera, doublechecked the lens, positioned the film frame, and draped the fabric over her head again. As she grabbed the cable release, she shouted, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”

Nico dropped into the tank, bending her knees as she hit the bottom, hair and tie buoyant in the water. She stared straight at the camera, determination flaring in her eyes as she yanked apart her bonds, and started to slip out of the chains. Maki took the shot, slide the shutter back in, ripped out the holder and replaced it, raising her hand as a signal. Nico dropped to the bottom again, water and motion distorting her slightly, bent her knees and sprang to the top, arms catching the front of the tank, wiry muscles taut, linen shirt half open and see through and sliding off her shoulders and torso, eyes flaming and defiant, her gaze blasting through the camera to Maki, daring Maki to make a choice as bold as this, shirt plastered against every shivery, exquisite detail of...Maki pulled the shutter open, clicked the release and tried to keep breathing, stunned by the raw energy of this wild, unfiltered moment.

A shaking Nico, shrunken, changed into her own clothes but still drenched, wrapped loosely in a blanket watched from a camping chair as Maki treated the film she was locking away in a light proof case as gently as if it were a kitten. Maki noticed the scrutiny and smiled gently at Nico. “Are you cold?”

“Duh.” Nico sniggered, trying not to cough.

“We’d better warm you up.” Maki reached into her duffle and grabbed her hoodie, wrapping it around Nico as she pulled the smaller woman to her feet. Maki was proud of herself. Her voice didn’t quaver, her hand didn’t shake, and she met Nico’s glance as if there weren’t seismic shocks shuddering through her at what the water had revealed about both of them. Maki did let concern warm her tone and her hands lingered on Nico’s shoulders, settling the hoodie. “They’re nearly finished loading. The tank’ll get picked up tomorrow. Let’s go you find something warm to drink.”

Maki couldn’t sleep. After they got back to the hotel, Nico, with a half hearted jokes about ‘Maki getting Nico so wet,’ had collapsed in her own bed.. Maki had stayed on the couch, transferring digital files from her cameras to her laptop. She wasn’t going to sleep. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ‘til exhaustion overtook the images racing through her mind, reacting with her body. Nico’s appeal, Nico’s strength, Nico’s drive...she’d seen them in their most primitive form today, as much of a shock as when Nico had come out of the water, and Maki realized the tiny...temptation had chosen to leave off the tank top, nipples dark and pressing through the transparent linen, breasts small but...Maki groaned. She had it all on film and filed away digitally, not to mention the indelible images now etched in her mind, right next to the audio of Nico saying “no, Nico is not trying to date or drive you.” Maki wondered how fine the details would be when she saw the exposed film, how much cropping would she need to do, did Nico realize that would happen? Maki closed her eyes, massaging her scalp, knees drawn up to her chest. What could she possibly say to Nico in the morning? How could she possibly sleep when Venus rising from the sea had been replaced with Nico rising from the tank. And did that final shot look as good as Maki hoped it did? She was terrible, truly terrible at suspense. It was another reason she preferred digital photography. Instant gratification. You always knew right away if things turned out the way you planned.

Eli. Maki picked up her phone, and hit “Call.” Eli answered.

“FInd me a darkroom.” Maki demanded, “I’m in LA.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Call someone. Get me a darkroom. I have to know.”

“Maki, what’s goi…” Eli paused, probably reminding herself of Maki’s inarticulateness in the face of inspiration, “You’ll tell me later.”

“Just get me…”

“A darkroom.” Eli sighed. “I’ll call you as soon as I know. Remember to eat.”

Eli knew better than to urge sleep. Now to leave Nico a note. Then head to the darkroom and end the suspense. And avoid an awkward flight home where Maki was too self conscious to look Nico in the eye.

A/N: Howdy. Jazz is still taking over my brain. Much thanks to my buddy @KristynBurtt (and her autocorrect) for the "hideous Houdini mansion" inspiration. If you're interested in dance and/or entertainment news, she's a great resource.Hope this finds you well. Now for lunch and Casual Lunacy progress. Take care!

#NicoMaki #yazawa nico #nishikino maki #Houdini #jazz #music #fanfic #Love Live #photography #etc

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pass3rby · 6 years

Text

Caught By Your Past

25th Part

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Pairing: Altair x Malik Warnings: modern AU, mature, OOC, original female character; unbetaed.

A/N: Good morning, San Francisco (or any other city of your choice for that matter)! Let's kick the day up, shall we?

She was on her way back home from campus when her phone went off. Having to fish it out of the tangle in her bag – USB cable, flash disc, second one, tissues, earbuds, lipstick – almost made her regret her habit of towing around the whole tech station and then some. Almost. She stumbled across her phone soon enough and the thoughts of getting rid of all those things first thing after stepping over the flat's threshold, disappeared again.

Checking the display, she gave a dejected sigh before accepting the call.

“Yeah?” So maybe her tone held a bit of a fake cheer, but there was no need to ruin someone else's mood, was there.

“There's this place I've heard is pretty rad!”

She figured as much; an eagerness to check out new places was a well-known trait of her friend. Trademark, barely restrained excitement in Mary's voice hit her full blast and really, was she ever void of energy? Gie was yet to see her anywhere near depleted. It would feel so good to talk with someone of a similar exhaustion level to her own. Maybe she could call Evie... Jacob's a pain in his sister's ass, too. That might work.

“Enjoy,” keeping up with the current conversation, she went with a sudden spur of a moment and entered a convenience store she was about to pass by. Time to treat herself; who knows how it'll look at home when she gets there. While choosing a thoroughly inappropriate late snack, she might as well listen to Mary, gushing over this new hot spot.

With luck, she only wanted to spill the beans and details about the new place and that would be the end of it. Gie was out for count as it was, just happy to drag herself to bed. Normally, she would welcome an opportunity to go out, but the constant hot & cold vibes coming from an unnamed pair of lost cases was starting to take its toll on her. Just as she was leaving for today's lessons, she heard them yelling again. And although staying out would keep her away from that for a little bit, she was ripe for a generous hibernation, not an evening out.

“You have to come with us!”

So, Mary was gathering a crew for the night out. Gie went with a neutral response, while absentmindedly checking one of the apples on sale:

“Sounds amazing-”

“I thought so, too! Pretty sweet. It's in a nice part of the city, too. Kinda dingy street, but it's not like we're gonna get jumped there.” True social life enthusiast that her classmate was, her mouth went two hundred miles per hour already, not even waiting for the explanative part of Gie's negative response. Also, no to that apple. Neither unhealthy, nor with enough chocolate percentage in it.

Tough luck today, buddy.

Skirting the whole fruit & vegetables section, she dived further to the more sin enabling and supplying section of the store.

“Altair and Malik are at each other's throat again.” There. At least she could make use of Mary knowing about the situation. Saves loads of time otherwise spent by a lengthy explanation. Maybe she won't even need to ring Evie up, after all.

Her friend, being a trooper, jumped promptly over onto the new topic like a pro.

“Thought you said neither of them is Spanish. Or French.”

“They're not, smartass,” and that chocolate looked tempting. She wasn't going to lower herself to buying an ice cream bucket, but that extra large hazelnut milk chocolate bar had her name on its wrapping. “You met them both to know that yourself.”

“So what's the deal?” Mary's voice was intent on the topic, fully focused like she always was with everything she decided to participate in. A good friend although and at the same time because of her brazen attitude, right there.

Okay, chocolate. You're coming with me. Do not resist and I won't be forced to use handcuffs on you.

Apprehending the criminal, she turned on her heel to go fetch something to drink, too – before re-turning around to grab a second bar. Just in case.

“I don't know. I mean, they are sorta... all-or-nothing kind of deal?”

“So, they either fuck or hate each other.” The words coming from the phone stayed true to its owner's spirit – no beating around the bush, they mowed the topic right over.

A vivid memory of mum threatening to wash her mouth with soap whenever she 'slipped', popped up in her mind. Mary wouldn't've last one day visit at their house without frothing at the mouth – one way or another. Funny thought right there.

“Pretty much. Without the-”

“-fucking. Yadda yadda yadda. I don't know if I should laugh at your brother or rethink my gender and step between them and wait which one would grab my ass first.”

“Mary!”

“What? They're attractive! Ten out of ten would tap that.”

Most of her friends did not miss the opportunity to tell her how dumb she was to let Altair go when their pack of she wolves was out last Friday. Mary'd just shrugged. 'Well at least you're out of competition if the guys ever changed their mind' – that're her exact words. While at least one of the girls would mean them, the free-spirited drinker had been quite obviously taking the piss. Like right now. Tough empathy – that's what Gie called it; Mary was the best.

Mood getting back on its feet, having shaken off the gloom, Georgie chuckled wryly and joined in the game.

“You'd stand no chance anyway. They wouldn't even notice you there.”

“That bad?”

“Their eyes are boning each other constantly, only their bodies resist the pull.” Now, that was a relief to say it out loud. Gie picked up a flavored green iced tea out of a refrigerator before making a bee-line to the cashier.

“Mindfucked too much?” It was hard to tell whether Mary was home already or not. While such generous use of foul language would usually point you somewhere 'safe to express yourself' if not in the home base direction outright, Mary was known to drop an F-bombs on a daily basis wherever. In the middle of the class wouldn't be her first time either. She lived closer to the campus, though.

“More like not enough.” Putting the handpicked items onto an empty space next to the register, she greeted the employee before refocusing back on Mary. Her answer must've betray a part of her previous dejected mood, because the response was instant and spot on.

“Damn. You're not coming, are you.”

“Not feeling it, I'm sorry.” There was no denying that she felt better now, but she'd still prefer to stay home tonight.

“Alright,” Her phone transported a heavily put-upon sigh right to her ear, “You're excused this once. If they drag you into their depressive circle of hell, though, I'm gonna come haunt their asses.” Fierce friends had certain perks.

“Or hunt.” Gie shot back good naturedly as she was getting through the payment procedure. That going off without a hitch, she was out of the store in no time.

“What do you know. It could bring the same results.”

“Despair?” It would be hard to miss her snicker. The door of the store closed behind her and she got back on her track leading home with renewed vigor, failsafe mechanism safely tucked in her bag.

“Ha ha. That's what I get for caring about you.”

But when the phone call ended ten minutes later, she wondered whether Mary will have to be taken up on her offer, if it'll really come to that. Will there be silence when she gets home? What sort of scene will greet her?[P1] To make the suddenly reinstated warzone even worse, the pair of undecisive fools was getting along pretty fine as of late.

Did Thor hit them with his hammer over their heads or something?

Now, arguments and bickering were a part of any relationship. Clashes were either handled or not and that was it; a 'make it or break it' sort of deal basically and again, a pretty standard one at that. These two? They had brought the art of disputes to a whole another level by the sheer amount of practice in pair. What was left there to argue about, though? She could swear that they've argued even about the water pressure in the shower already.

Taking a step back, maybe there was no need for them to make it official at all. They fought like a couple already, so there was a good chance that they had the partner software for encouraging staying together installed, too. But maybe not.

Them being as they are? Holding onto the remnants of their wild card statuses while also leaning over toward the other? It could bring literally anything. As of now, chaos and strangling of one another would be her bet on the most probable outcome, no matter what she really hoped for.

What truly boggled her mind was that the 'wild card' issue was more of Malik's signature there than Altair's. Sounding strange? Maybe because it was. If anything, you could always count on Malik being solid. As on him being a silent snide sniper. His words got the kill while his face might as well been cut from marble. That was his nature and it came with an objectively calm demeanor. All of that, her brother might rightfully pride himself for, because he perfected every single part of it to a state of art. Throwing him off, not to mention making his wall of tranquility crumble to dust wasn't an easy achievement.

Then Altair entered – or re-entered – the picture, turning out to be an equivalent to the proverbial fairy with a magical wand. 'Unusual' wouldn't even make the cut for an appropriate description of how out of character this was for her brother and still, the facts stood.

Not that she hadn't wondered about the strange enigma before; it only wasn't as important then as many other aspects that needed to be accounted for. But maybe it should have been. Altair's presence was undeniably toying with Malik on a full scale, so it was safe to assume that their whole relationship must've been even more complicated, elaborate or not, than she anticipated – and she gave a lot of room to possible variations of their history.

What was so bad about Altair that kept Malik doubtful?

Their personalities clashing could hardly be the reason – it obviously didn't matter even back in their heydays. Was he still hung up on the fact that she and Altair together were the plan A and the reason why the guy was here in the first place? Her brother could, indeed, hold a grudge. Was it the job? If so, then... Okay, it wasn't a traditional nine-to-five job where you are safely tucked in an office, she'd give Malik that. But Gie saw them together; this hesitating and dancing around each other would make sense only if they did not feel as strongly about each other anymore. To that, she called bullshit. She'd probably do the best to ask Altair about that when the soonest opportunity arises.

Using the key to their flat, she unlocked the door and nudged it ajar.

No sound.

Promising enough. Entering the flat, she put her bag on the bench right by the door.

Altair was passed out, half-lying behind the living room's low table, half-propped up on her beanbag in a position that suggested something was missing in the picture. The flat screen was still on, although only some commercial nonsense on low volume was taking up the screen there.

Before she could investigate the crime scene any further, different kind of muted noises caught her attention. They were coming from the direction corresponding with only one room in the apartment. That answered the question of where Malik disappeared to. Taking one deep breath for courage, she walked over to the kitchen.

“Hey.” Her greeting was on a cautious side of the spectrum, but nobody could blame her.

“Hey yourself,” Malik answered in kind readily enough if a bit distracted. Scanning what must've been instructions on a box of something presumably eventually edible, his attention taking its sweet time to shift onto her. Not that she minded; this wasn't bad compared to any kind of confrontation. She'd had it up to here of that.

“Coffee?” The offhand offer made its way to her, while Malik's eyes flicked back and forth between her and what appeared to be an instant version of Rubik's cube to him. An already made batch of coffee was the current main star of the kitchen counter. Steam coming from it declared that the beverage was fresh, too.

“Uh... I'll probably go with just tea? Thanks, though.” Perking up at that, he decidedly put the package back in the pantry, obviously finding the required amount of effort overly too much to bother with. It would also be Malik's attitude to food in general in a nutshell.

She was about to go over and set necessary things up to fix herself a cup, but Malik was one step ahead of her.

“The tests weren't bad then?” She watched as her brother proceeded to put water in the electric kettle before switching the thing on.

Oh.

“They were fine.” Since she had to wait for the water to boil, it was only sound logic to plop down on a chair – which was exactly what she did.

“Were they.”

“Stop it, you moron, you're not my parent.” Reminding him her adult status was a moot point now, but she did it anyway. Meanwhile, Malik poured himself a mugful of the steamy, tar black liquid, completely unperturbed.

“Look at the good news. The day's just gotten better for the both of us.” For all intents and purposes, his expectant look was interchangeable with the one of a hawk stalking its prey. She grudgingly conceded only because there was no other easy way of getting from under that type of scrutiny.

“I may not ace them both, but it wasn't as terrible as I expected. Professor de Sable took ill and our tests will be marked by a substitute teacher, so there's no way I'll get a bad mark on that one either.”

The nightmarish teacher had been picking on her ever since her first year of taking the course. She couldn't help but secretly think of his illness as a gift from above.

“I though you said you got a different lecturer already?” If Gie was ten years younger, she'd probably appreciate his brotherly frown much more. As it was, she could handle one numskull without any additional help.

“False alarm. That would be that substitute I've mentioned. Looks like the baldhead doesn't know when to-” Sensing warning in the air, she promptly changed the intended ending of her sentence:

“-leave the scene,” which was closely followed by a quietly mumbled “or kick the bucket” original version.

“You were saying?”

“I said that he apparently must've dig his heels in somehow.” Gie blatantly lied without an ounce of shame in her body.

The good thing about being raised into adulthood by a strict brother? He was still way more lenient than their parents would be. She held no hope of her brother believing that's what she really said, but he let her be anyway, because Malik himself thought that the guy was an asshole. But even better than that; any 'tight spots' like this one trained her in the façade game that Malik was a master of, too.

When he wanted to be, that is. Looking at him taking the box full of teabags in his hand, nose wrinkling in disgust, one wouldn't believe such a claim. If Malik could, he would hold that box like a bag full of dog presents, no doubt. Dork.

“Sheesh, you're a riot. Give me that,” Getting back on her feet, she stole the box which was offending her brother's sensibilities out of his grasp and fished out one teabag before storing the rest back in the cupboard. Right on time, the kettle switched off, too, so she threw the teabag inside an empty mug that Malik had left on the counter for that purpose exactly and poured hot over it straight away. Brimming with satisfaction, she looked over at Malik, who still did not bother to regain his stony decorum. As much as he was furrowing his brows, though, he was in a casual, laid-back mood.

“You should stop.” Still, his voice was as gruff as always. His nod towards her drink said all there was needed to decipher what he was referring to. She nonchalantly ignored the clue, pretending ignorance.

“With what?” She intentionally gave Malik an innocent look.

“Drinking that garbage.” As if she did not see that coming. The deadpan nag made her snicker for its utter uselessness. They had gone over this one thousand times already and yet, somehow, Malik never seemed to tire of it.

“You should stop,” she shot back to exact her revenge.

“With what?” Humoring her, he went along with the game, striking the familiar pose which included folded arms on his chest. His eyes were soft, though; contrary to their hard shine whenever adapting the posture in a serious conflict.

He probably expected her to say something along the lines of “nagging me about the tea” and to be fair, nobody could blame him for it since that was exactly what she wanted to go with. Initially. But a single, no matter how short, moment to rethink the opportunity was all it took to decide on a change. Biting on her lower lip, she went for it.

“Being so stubborn.” And she might as well ask for a sky to lean down and hand over some of its stars to her while she was at it. Honestly, Gie was well-aware of how her words sounded. But demanding an all-out annihilation of the character trait wasn't the point here. Therefore, she clarified:

“Why do you guys argue so much – really?”

Fully prepared to see him withdrawing into himself and closing off again, she faced a distinctly different reaction. While Malik was fast to catch onto what she was talking about, he showed no sign of being displeased with the topic.

“I argue with idiots in general. That's my job. I thought you already knew that.” Even busy with removing the teabag out of her mug after taking a careful, evaluating sip, it didn't stop her from pointing the obvious, encouraged by his response:

“Yeah, but not like you do with Altair...” It was much easier to continue pursuing the matter with his open attitude and his trademark scowl on vacation.

At last noticing that the issue was really troubling her, his blasé vibe evaporated out of the room. Sh- shrooms in a meadow. Counting her chickens way too soon.

“Geor-”

“I know I have no right to stick my nose into it, but what happened so wrong that you feel the constant need to butt heads?”

Silence and him clenching his jaw didn't look much promising in regard to her hopes of getting an answer when-

“We just do.” While his tone was even, and Malik obviously managed to reign whatever had made him grit his teeth in, all she got for her trouble was less than a bare minimum one would be able to work with. Before she could even let out a put-upon exhale at the cryptic reply, though, he gave in and elaborated further:

“It's the way we deal with stuff.” Now it was his turn to mumble something. What, Gie didn't manage to catch, “We've solved the... issue already, though.”

“So you'll argue less now?”

“Not likely,” if that wasn't a definitive statement right there. Splendid. She was starting to think that Mary was right. In one-year time, Italian mafia will pale in comparison. Relationship preferences...

Thinking back a bit, this was the first time Malik also openly addressed his relationship with Altair in her company. And what a fanfare did he chose to play it with. Speaking of that, on a closer look, Malik seemed this close to ask a question of its own, but he swiftly buried it expertly, shoving his attention into the caffeinated drink of his choice, he was holding. She could guess what this was about, though. Her brother was truly hopeless.

Ask who needs it spelled out for them again, brother.

“Hey.” Unphased, she walked over and started to unload stuff from the fridge that would make for a solid, good meal when rightly prepared. Chicken, vegetables and rice will do it.

“Hm?”

“I really don't mind, okay?” Malik took some time to react other than pin her with an intense gaze.

“Why?”

She smiled. For once, he was the dumb one.

“Because you're my brother.” Good and done with that, she pulled out a cutting board, issuing a challenge:

“Wanna cook together?”

“You'll tell me to get out in five minutes flat.” Was the gruff answer.

“That's not an answer.”

Keeping an eye on her with undisguised suspicion, he cautiously went to get a knife.

“The kitchen counter is not long enough for both of us.”

“I was here first!” Immediately calling dibs on the piece of furniture, she laughed as he swore.

#cbyp #assassin's creed #altmal

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mosylufanfic · 6 years

Note

I request prompt 22nd; Happy birthday month!

Thank you! Also requested by a nonny, although you might see another reply for that, nonny! I keep thinking these are going to be short and cute and I look up four pages later and go, “. . . shit.”

Best Laid Plans

Caitlin heaved a sigh, dropped her head back, and told the ceiling, "I'm trying very hard not to see all this as a metaphor for my life."

The smoke alarm shrieked. The lasagna that she'd worked on all afternoon was a scorched-black lump. Her pan was probably ruined too.

She sniffed and wiped away tears. "It's just a lasagna," she scolded herself.

But it wasn't, and she knew it. The lasagna had been a single but critical cog in a carefully crafted plan, and now it was trash.

Cisco was due any minute, and she was still in her robe, with no makeup and her hair barely blow-dried. Her main dish was completely ruined and there was no time to throw together something new.

She sniffed again and then pulled a chair over and climbed up on it to turn off the smoke alarm. When it had been silenced, with a last surprised tweet, she rested her head against the top of the door frame and mourned briefly for her ruined evening, which was supposed to end with her in Cisco's arms.

Sometimes it seemed like her dating life since Ronnie's death had been nothing but trying to feel more than she did, or disastrous breakups. Or both. Often both. But Cisco had always had a place in her heart. Sometime after he'd first gotten together with Cynthia, she'd realized that the place he occupied had transformed from platonic to romantic without her noticing.

She'd told herself then that it was hopeless. He had a girlfriend, one he was madly in love with. She'd hated herself for the ember of hope that had blossomed when he'd told her that they'd broken up. "Too different," he'd said, sagging in her comfy armchair with his third or fourth stiff drink. "We love each other, but we don't want the same things. And the things we want - they’re kind of all or nothing."

"I'm sorry," she'd said, and gotten more ice cream out of the freezer.

She'd counseled herself to wait, to let him heal, to watch for signs that he was ready to risk his heart again.

In the past month, she'd been seeing those signs, and more, signs that he might be already willing to risk it with her. Casual touches that lingered longer than usual. Banter that leaned toward flirtation. Small, thoughtful gestures, that wouldn't have seemed out of place in Cisco's history of thoughtful gestures except for the smiles he gave her along with the cup of tea he brought to her desk, or the candy bar he picked up when he was out. Long text conversations about nothing in the middle of the night.

But if they were ever going to be anything more than text buddies, one of them was going to have to move things along, and she'd decided it was going to be her. Except that her meticulous plan had gone off the rails the moment she turned on her hair-dryer and missed hearing the over timer go off.

She looked over and saw the wine on the counter. She hopped off the chair, grabbed a corkscrew, jammed it into the cork, and worked it out of the bottle with a pop. Without bothering with a glass, she took a deep chug straight out of the bottle.

It was a nice red wine, and it would have been really nice with her burned lasagna.

She was considering another chug when the doorbell rang. With a gasp, she stuck the bottle back on the counter and bolted for the door.

"Hey - what burned?" were the first words out of his mouth when she opened it.

"Lasagna," she said, letting him in. "I was drying my hair and I didn't hear the buzzer."

"Awww," he said. "I’ve been there. Sorry." He gave her a quick hug and she told herself to let go when he did, not to cling to him, not to snuggle close and bask in the smell of his shampoo and the feel of his body against hers. "You didn't have to make dinner. I told you I'd bring something over."

"I wanted to," she said. "But I screwed it up."

He squeezed her upper arms to comfort. "Look," he said. "Why don't I go get a pizza? Will that work with the rest of your menu?"

"Sure," she sighed. "Go for it."

"Be right back," he said, and opened up a breach in the middle of her entryway.

When it sucked itself closed, she went back into her bedroom to put on clothes. Half her closet was scattered over her bed - pretty ruffled skirts that showed off her legs, low cut tops that showed off her decolletage, dresses in a fine-gauge knit that clung to her curves. They'd all seemed not quite perfect for the intimate dinner she'd had planned.

They definitely wouldn't work over pizza.

She put on a soft, drapey t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants, then pulled her hair into a ponytail and put on basic makeup. She started to put on a simple, sheer pink lipstick, then paused, wiped it off, and selected a redder shade.

Even if she couldn't seduce him tonight like she'd planned, that was no reason not to make him think about her lips if she had the chance.

She shut her bedroom door behind her and went to see what else could be salvaged.

By the time he knocked again, she was feeling more cheerful. Yes, the charred lasagna was occupying a place of dishonor on the back of her stove, but that wasn’t the only thing she’d prepared. She did swap out her table settings, though. Thick-crusted, cheesy, greasy pizza just didn't go with her fine china. She let him in with a smile.

"All right," Cisco said, bearing a heavenly-smelling cardboard box toward her table and setting it down in the center. He plopped two twenty-ounce bottles next to the box, one orange soda and one iced tea. “We’ve got a large sausage and mushroom, because I ain’t looking at pineapple on pizza tonight, you Hawaiian-loving weirdo.”

Although sausage and mushroom did go better with the rest of the meal, she scowled playfully at him. He always gave her grief for her taste in pizza. “Keep talking like that and you won't get any caprese salad.”

“Any what now?” he asked, transferring slices onto her red Fiestaware plates.

She shifted the box and showed him the plate. Fat chunks of mozzarella alternated with tomato slices, garnished with basil leaves, and all of it drizzled in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. She’d assembled it and put in the fridge before jumping in the shower earlier.

His eyes lit up. “Fancy!” He nudged his two slices of pizza aside to make room on his plate.

“Okay,” she said after serving herself. “Are you ready to plan?”

“Born ready,” he said, twisting the cap off the orange soda. “Hit me. What are you thinking?”

She pulled out her notebook. “I’ve jotted down some ideas. This is Iris’s thirtieth birthday. It’s a milestone. We want it to be special.”

He cut up a slice of mozzarella and swabbed up balsamic vinegar before popping it in his mouth. “Remind me why we’re planning this and Barry isn’t?”

“Because it’s supposed to stay a surprise for more than thirty seconds,” Caitlin said.

“And he folds like a cheap suit when she cocks her eyebrow. Right.”

She should feel guilty, using a party planning session as a pretense for luring Cisco into her clutches. But Iris, who’d listened to her agonize a few times, would more than understand. Anyway, Caitlin had ditched that plan.

Mostly.

She watched Cisco lick pizza grease off his lips and grin at her as he suggested a country western theme (which she shot down with a quickness) and reminded herself that she wasn’t going to jump him.

Which was too bad, because in that shirt and those pants, he was looking really good. And he was having an incredible hair day.

They settled on a private room at Iris’s favorite restaurant the Saturday after her birthday. Caitlin wrote herself a note to check availability, and to figure out backup restaurants if that one didn’t pan out.

“We should have a decoy celebration,” Cisco suggested. “Like, tell her to meet us for lunch on Sunday.”

“Right! If we all just pretend to have forgotten, she’ll know something’s up. A decoy sounds perfect. Now, who are we inviting to the real thing?”

Cisco pulled up Facebook on his phone and went trawling through Iris’s friend list. “I’ll take care of contacting everybody,” he said, scribbling names down. “Hey, have you got contact info for Linda Park?”

“I can get it,” Caitlin said, writing herself another note. “Iris would love it if she made it from Coast City for this.”

By the time they’d eaten half the pizza and all the caprese salad, they had the beginnings of a really nice party. Cisco closed the box. "Want to keep the rest of this?"

"You take it home," she said, hopping up. "But I do have a new recipe that I tried for dessert."

"I'm going to get fat if you keep making me all your finds," Cisco said, not sounding terribly worried about the prospect. "They're gonna start calling me Jello instead of Vibe."

She grinned at him. "Maybe it's awful. I did burn the lasagna."

"Yikes," he said, and loaded her dishwasher while she pulled the dessert out.

He tilted his head to study the mound of white dessert that she set in front of him. "Is this flan? Because I have to tell you, it’s on the pale side."

"No," she said. "It's panna cotta. Taste it."

He did, and made a noise in his throat that made her skin buzz. "Holy shit. What's it called again?"

"Panna cotta. I made it last night." She tasted it herself and almost sighed. It had really turned out well. Good choice to garnish with raspberries. Next time, she would have to do the mint chocolate variation she'd found.

"Just for funsies?"

"Well, I found the recipe and I really wanted to try it out."

"And you knew I'd be here to help you eat it," he said, taking another bite. "So how did you make it?"

She launched into an explanation of the recipe, how the cream had to just simmer, not fully boil. How you had to let the gelatin dissolve just right, why you had to warm the mixture and let it cool in a particular pattern so the chemical reaction could happen properly. How you could add vanilla or almond or tea or anything, really, to flavor it and then add even more things on top when it had chilled overnight, and then - if you chose - unmold it onto a plate before garnishing. It was her favorite kind of recipe - scientific precision on the one hand, endless flavor choices on the other.

He watched her, smiling as he ate his panna cotta. “Maybe you should make it for Iris’s party,” he suggested.

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think I’m up to making this for that many people, and the restaurant might have something to say about it.”

“Okay,” he said with a laugh. “You’ll just have to make it for me again.”

She looked up to see him smiling at her, and her heart skipped a beat. “Okay,” she said, telling herself that her voice wasn’t breathier than Jessica Rabbit’s. “Sure. Anytime.”

Their gazes locked and held until her heart fluttered again, and his lips parted. He blinked, breaking the spell, and set his spoon in his empty dish. “I’m gonna - “ He gestured vaguely in the direction of her bathroom. “Um.”

“Sure,” she said, and had to sit for another five or ten seconds, catching her breath, before she could get up and take the panna cotta dishes to the sink. They had to be hand-washed, but she couldn’t do it now. She’d probably break one.

She cleaned up the rest of the table, checked that Cisco had loaded the dishwasher properly (he had) and was considering how salvageable the lasagna pan was when Cisco called out, “Hey, Caitlin?”

“Hmmm?”

“Can you come here a minute?”

She went to the living room to see him studying her coffee table. “So, what’s this?” he asked.

She swallowed hard. She’d forgotten about that setup. “Um, candles. And wine glasses.”

“Fancy candles,” he said. “And your good wine glasses. And I couldn't help but notice there was a pretty nice red wine breathing on the counter all through dinner.”

“Oh,” she said. “I forgot about that. Yes.”

“And I know you’ll probably be mad and I’m sorry, but I may have slightly snooped in your bedroom on my way to the bathroom and I noticed your closet had exploded.”

She felt herself go red to the hairline. “. . . Yes,” she admitted. “It did, kind of.”

He tilted his head. “Did you have a plan for tonight?”

She nodded slowly. Her face felt hot enough to cook an egg. “But I burned the lasagna and spent too much time looking for the right outfit and ruined it.”

He smushed his lips together. “That’s an easily ruined plan.”

“You know how I am about my plans,” she said.

“Yeah,” he admitted, and picked up one of the wine glasses. “Too bad. This looks like it would have been pretty nice.”

She stood looking at him twisting the wineglass in his fingers, and thought, I’m on Team Flash. Plans going wrong is where we live. I should be able to improvise.

She curled her toes against the carpet. “Do you want to know what end I was planning toward?” she asked.

He looked up at her. “Kinda would. Yeah.”

“Okay,” she said. Whispered, really. “Okay.”

She reached out and took the wineglass from his hand. Setting it down on the coffee table, she rested her hands on his shoulders and leaned forward to kiss him.

He went still, and she thought, Oh, oh no, I’ve misread everything, I -

Then his arms slipped around her waist and he kissed her back. Cautious at first, learning how they fit together, what she liked, what he liked. Then the kiss became more confident, hungrier. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed up against him, and he hummed in his throat the way he had when he’d tasted the panna cotta. This time, the sound thrilled her right down to the marrow.

They had to break for air eventually, and leaned together, panting. “So,” he said, his thumb rubbing against her rib cage through her thin shirt. “That was the end of the evening? In your plan?”

“Well,” she said, stroking her fingers through the baby-fine hairs on his neck. “No. Not necessarily.”

He smiled at her, his big joyful Cisco smile that she’d always loved to see, and said, “I was hoping you’d say that.”

FINIS

#Caitlin Snow #Cisco Ramon #Killervibe #fanfiction #mosylufanfic lives up to her damn name #birthday prompt party #gang aft agley #Caitlin honey breathe #it'll be fine #the flash #thapnbkrsnowvibe

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