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#also I’m not new to the queer community
jupeywoopy · 5 months
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When you finally find the queer community and think you’re gonna be accepted but your aroace
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always-andromeda · 6 months
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I always wondered how James Somerton could crank out such many well written video essays in such a short amount of time…
Because he’s stealing the words of literally dozens of writers who are better than him. 😀
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seilon · 5 months
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no like when I say any answer on the queerest city poll that’s not San Fran is wrong I mean it is factually and historically WRONG
#just. look at the history of lgbt rights and major events in queer history in the us#and I’m telling you it is. in fact. dominated by San Francisco#the other cities that contend for the most part are major us cities that contend simply because they are big and/or heavily populated#like yeah obviously dense cities are going to have a higher number of people in various demographics. im thinking mostly about nyc and#Chicago here for the most part#San Fran is not big. it’s dense but not nearly an nyc level population especially historically.#it’s very unique for having been a safehaven for queers for a long time in comparison to the rest of the country#now I am not. by any means. defending it on every front. or considering it superior in any other way basically. I am SOLELY talking about#it’s unrivaled huge and powerful and long-standing queer community#it is- in the present day- literally almost impossible to live in San Francisco. period. it is absurdly expensive.#it’s homelessness situation especially due to the insane cost of living and there takeover of tech companies and so on#is horrific and for no damn reason (the city has enough money to house people Easily through at LEAST the heavy tourism)#the queer COMMUNITY there is what’s important and it’s history of demanding rights and generally flourishing through their own efforts#anyway idk why I felt the need to ramble about this#actually yes I do it’s becuase I think a lot of younger queer people (or queer people who grew up in isolated or conservative areas don’t#know the history associated with San Francisco and why people regard it as being so fundamentally queer#like the fact that portland is in second on that poll- and this is coming from someone who likes portland overall- is so weird to me#it’s a very progressive place but boy it ain’t got the influence and history that San Fran- or even New York or chicago- have#again it’s hard to compare those big big cities to anything but nonetheless#tangential but. sacramento is also a queer-dense city and though we are small and not nearly as flashy as the other contenders it’s worth#noting I think for being more of a safehaven than people tend to think about#anyway. that’s nothing I just had to represent for a second#kibumblabs
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pinkfey · 2 years
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i think this baby gay mentality of queer relationships being inherently healthier than straight ones is not a good one ?? maybe ??
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bioswear · 1 year
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Ach tfw ur sequel project is echoing a little too well the current events in America and you know it’s good and important allegorical writing and commentary on social issues but also it’s a little TOO on the nose
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onceuponanaromantic · 2 years
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me, taking notes in class about how ‘beauty’ as a concept is used to reinforce hierarchies of who deserves to be treated as a human:
me going on insta to see people advertising makeup techniques and alterations to their bodies to be beautiful: 👀👀
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literallyaflame · 7 months
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okay. listen. if you ever find yourself falling into a new ideological circle, pay attention. if you notice that you’re among people who define themselves as part of an “in-group” with a pre-prepared human “enemy” to constantly rail against—if everyone fantasizes about the mental state of these loathsome monsters, if they participate in witch hunts or (perhaps worse) poke bears and court harassment on purpose to comfort each other over—get the fuck out. you haven’t been enlightened to some grand conspiracy, there are no evil “enemies” or “degenerates” trying to rip apart the fabric of society, and you do not have the moral duty to “enlighten” anyone to whatever you think the “truth” is. it’s neither safe nor normal to spend hours of your day fighting with strangers on the internet
a lot of people wear this shit like a badge of honor, but it’s also not normal to hide your “in-group” status as a form of martyrdom, relishing when the “enemy” slips up around you. it’s comforting in the moment, but in the long run, you’re alienating yourself from the world outside of your bubble. the more you alienate yourself, the more vulnerable and lonely you become, and the harder it is to reject the comfort of belonging to the “in-group”
i’m writing this from the perspective of someone who grew up in a cesspool of awful, cult-like rural churches—which is its own situation—but i see similar shit happening in online communities all the time, both within and 800 miles outside of my own ideological principles. yes, every toxicass radfem i block seems to be trapped in a version of this vicious cycle, but i also see it happening in random queer circles and niche fandom communities. no one is immune, not even me. i’ve watched people fall into this shit and never make it out. be careful
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clueless1995 · 11 months
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also since we’re self reflecting it’s been very strange since i found out i was autistic because i spend a fair bit of time monitoring far right conspiracy theories and alternative medicine shit and now i’m like. oh when they’re talking about autism being a form of government social manipulation (??) they’re talking about me??? that’s me??? idk it’s difficult because i know i’m not the Kind Of Autistic Person they’re talking about because they have a very limited understanding of. anything but it is still a strange feeling
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saintjosie · 3 months
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i’ve been a trans content creator across many different platforms for four years now. and every time i jumped on a new platform, i used to have the same naive hope that i’d find a place on the internet where trans people are safe. but it’s never safe. there isn’t any platform that i’ve been on that i haven’t faced harassment and where my friends and others like me haven’t been unjustly banned.
the first reaction that i had to seeing the stuff about prestrogen was “ah here we go again”. and that’s such a jaded response. and it’s so easy to feel defeated because i’m furious and i’m tired.
but also i think it’s important to remind myself (and anyone else who needs to hear it) that every time i’ve seen this happen, along with the understandable and justified outrage of the trans community, i have also seen incredible resilience and solidarity from both the queer community and from allies.
we should be angry. but we also need to remember that love and support within the community IS resistance. and it’s every bit as powerful and important as righteous fury.
dont isolate yourself. take care of yourself but also check in on your friends.
im mostly telling myself but also im sure some one else needs to remember this too.
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minakoainosupremacy · 2 years
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At my student orientation today we had an ice breaker question asking what our favorite book/movie/show was, and the person I was talking with didn’t know what sailor moon was
#brain screams#I immediately gave up and said one of my fav graphic novels and she was like “I’ve never read a graphic novel are they like comics#rookie mistake actually being honest with new ppl about my inrests I guess#I usually don’t tell ppl irl my actual interests or like many personal details until I’ve gotten to know them well#but I’m trying to learn to be more comfortable being myself and confident in who I am and I’m trying to unmask and exist as I am#so I figured Wtf I’ll be honest for once#but nope. didn’t work rip#doesn’t help that I 100% pass as a cishet guy and ppl assume I have like *manly* interests or whatever cause I look like a mountain man#I love my beard it gives me so much gender euphoria but it is so frustrating how having facial hair really hides my queerness#also I think since due to my sensory issues I always wear loose clothes it doesn’t help cause *girls are supposed To wear tight clothes*#but whatever this isn’t an analysis of my gender presentation or neurodivergence this is me recounting an awkward experience#I forget that the average person does NOT share the same interests that my social circle of 99% queer neurodivergent nerds does#there’s a world of ppl who just read books with only words and don’t hyperfixate on things#and who aren’t terminally online cause they can easily find communities and spaces irl where they belong and fit it#god I can’t imagine living like that#what a concept#ANYWAYS I SAID THIS WOULDNT BE AN ANALYSIS OF MY TRANSNESS AND NEURODIVERGENCE#I can’t help it I haven’t been around so many cishet NT people my age in so long I forgot what it’s like and I had some realiziations#like when I was packing up a few mins before the speaker was done so I could make sure I could go to the bathroom#I was like I gotta go to another floor so it’ll be more likely to be empty so no one can pick up that I sit to pee and wipe#and so I can get there first so I can make sure I get the one fucking stall cause mens rooms are trash#and I stopped and was like. most ppl don’t have to do all these mental calculations and go To this extra effort JUST TO FUCKING PEE!!!#and like I’ve been using mens rooms for S E V E N years now!! it got less terrifying when I started T but it still is. a lot!!!#and that is some BULL SHIT. and there was a gender neutral bathroom right outside the room we were in but no one was using it#at first I was afraid to use it cause other ppl would be like why tf is that dude using the restroom for disabled ppl#which is a whole other thing cause it’s pretty shitty that trans and disabled ppl only get 1 bathroom in a building and they have to share#but anyways then I was like fuck this idc if ppl think I’m trans cause I fucking am trans and I don’t want to hide it!!!#I literally had a sticker with *any pronouns* listed as my pronouns like im not trying to pretend to be a cishet man!!#so I started using the gender neutral restroom. but it’s still fucked I even had to do those mental gymnastics!!!#and don’t get me STARTED on being ND in a classroom full of NT ppl
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reasonsforhope · 6 months
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"Shopping for clothes is already intimidating. There are so many options and styles to consider, as well as factors like sustainability and ethics.
But for people in fat, disabled, or queer and gender-nonconforming bodies, it’s even more arduous.
Nico Herzetty, Emma K. Clark, and Paul Herzetty wondered: What if there was a way people could shop — not necessarily by color or size — but by measurements, materials, and ethics?
So they set off to create their website: Phoria. 
Here, shoppers can set up a free profile, add their body measurements (and “typical fit challenges”) and peruse over 270 brands. Once these data points are entered, users can personalize their pages with “saved,” “recommended,” or “hidden” brands. 
Pages can be totally private, or shared with the community to connect over styles and brands.
Aside from fit, brands in the Phoria database (which claims to be “the largest database of plus-friendly brands”) can also be filtered as “gender-neutral,” “woman-run,” “small business,” or “natural fibers.” Users can also filter for price, preferred styles, and more.
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Pictured: A screenshot of the "Fit Challenges" feature on a Phoria user's profile.
Some brands include popular names like Athleta, Levi’s, and Patagonia. Others are small businesses, like Beefcake Swimwear, or Hey Peach.
“For so many people, it feels too damn hard to find and keep clothing that fits in all the ways that really matter. So we’re doing something about it,” the Phoria website reads.
“Unlike most online shopping experiences, we center the needs of plus-size women, nonbinary, and trans people, and prioritize supporting clothing brands focused on sustainability, ethics, and inclusion.” ...
That team — made up of Clark, and Nico and Paul Herzetty — calls themselves “fat, disabled, and very, very queer.” 
“These are some of the main ways we identify, and they’re qualities that have directly impacted our ability to get dressed every day in a way that feels good,” the Phoria team introduces themselves on the website.
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Pictured: A screenshot of Phoria's plus-size clothing brand database.
In addition to catering the user experience to women, non-binary, and trans people, Phoria is also a benefit corporation, or a B corp.
“We’ve legally required ourselves to consider the interests of all our stakeholders — customers, employees, the planet, and our shareholders,” the Phoria website explains.
“Our specific public benefit purpose is to reduce people’s dependence on buying mass-produced items made in unsustainable ways and to use human-centered business models to boldly challenge economic systems of inequity.” 
Right now, in the early stages of the company’s business, it doesn’t make any money.
“We’re focused on building something that genuinely solves plus-size people’s challenges around clothes shopping and supports smaller and more sustainable brands,” Phoria’s website states.
So, spreading the word seems to be of utmost importance...
Additionally, TikTok creators @couplagoofs (a queer couple named Morgan and Phoebe), recently shared a video in which they discovered Phoria. They met the website’s creators at a fat liberation event in their city and were introduced to the tool.
Quickly, commenters responded with gratitude and excitement.
“It is so disappointing to sort through pages of plus size clothes that aren’t even plus size,” a TikTok user commented. “This is gonna be such a good tool!” 
Some even shared emotional responses, speaking to the need at the heart of Phoria’s mission. 
“I’m… gonna cry,” another commenter wrote. “I’ve needed this my whole life.”"
-via Goodgoodgood, November 20, 2023
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art · 11 months
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Meet the Artist: @aubryjoi
Hi folks! My name’s Aubry (they/them), and I’m a trans non-binary illustrator specializing in animal artwork! My favorite mediums to work in are Posca paint pens & Procreate on the iPad. I love creating cute & colorful characters, and especially queer-themed artwork! My goal with my art is to bring smiles to folks’ faces & brighten their days. This year, I’ve introduced a new character, Egg the Trans Raccoon, into my work, and I’ve been building feelings of trans joy & community through them. I’m also a huge fan of making enamel pins and other trinkets of my designs!
Nice to meet you, Aubry! They have shared some artwork for you all to appreciate.
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For more of Aubry’s work, be sure to check out their blog, @aubryjoi!
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We are highlighting some of Tumblr’s talented LGBTQIA+ artists all month as part of #june on tumblr! Be sure to check out @prideplus for more.
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johannestevans · 5 months
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Where do I find the queer people?
Making friends and finding social & community spaces as an LGBTQ+ adult.
Originally published with Prism & Pen. Also on my Patreon.
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Photo by Brett Sayles via Pexels.
A friend and I recently went to a Queer Open Mic night after I saw it advertised on the same afternoon. While we were on the way back, she asked about how I’d found it.
“I just feel like you always know loads of queer events that are on,” she said, “and I don’t know how to begin to find them.”
I sat down with her a few weeks later and showed her some of the ways I find events, regular or otherwise, and where I look for others — especially given that on social media in the past few days I’ve seen a few people talking about the difficulty of finding and meeting with new queer people when not online.
I thought it might be useful to put it together here.
It’s quite hard with the pressure on and elimination of many third spaces to go out and easily meet people, and given that most of us use a lot of online socials and dating apps, it can feel difficult to seek out and engage with in-person spaces without knowing exactly what the protocol or format of the event is going to be.
Especially given that many people are still more isolated than they were before the start of the Covid pandemic, and/or struggle with seeking out events for themselves having finished school or university or other more structured environments, there can be a lot of anxiety about attending events or meeting new people. But it’s worth it to remember that pretty much everyone else is in a similar spot, and there’s nothing weird or unusual about wanting to make friends or have social time with others.
I am based in the North of England and generally go between the UK and Ireland. So this guide might be less useful depending on where you are. Obviously, in countries with more repressive legislation on queer identity, community groups will by definition be far more underground. Even in areas where this isn’t the case, some of these suggestions might be more viable than others depending on how densely populated your area is, how accessible different venues and events are, and how active your local queer communities are. So, just take what’s good for you and leave the rest.
Finding Local Queer Community Groups
In your search engine, put in simple search terms — [queer] [group] in [my area].
If you can, narrow your search to websites updated in the last 6 months to 2 or 3 years — you’ll sometimes find a website from six or seven years ago where the events haven’t been running for half that when you were already excited about it.
Search your town, city, or county first, and then widen your search — I normally initially look for Bradford and Leeds respectively, but then might broaden my search to West Yorkshire or even North England depending on the time of year and if I’m more willing to travel for certain events, e.g. looking up summer events around Pride, or specific holiday events if you’re looking at Halloween, Christmas, New Year’s, etc.
Combine:
“Queer”, “LGBT” or “LGBTQ”, “Trans”, “Gay Men’s”, “Lesbian”, “Transgender”, “Transsexual”, “Gay Rights” or similar terms
With:
“Charity”, “Support Group”, “Social Space”, “Community Space”, “Meetup”, “Society”, and similar terms
Swap around the terms and find what language seems to be used in your area — remember that depending on the age group and demographic you’re looking at or for, there might be terms you prefer.
I personally search for a lot of gay men’s groups because the average age tends to be a lot older and focused more on the experiences and social spaces of men who love men rather than general queer spaces, which I find can be a bit too young and fast-paced for my speed.
In general, I find that there’s a loose separation between younger trans and queer social groups, which tend to be a mix of differing identities and ages but with a big emphasis on young adults in the 18–25 area, and then specific gay men’s or lesbians’ groups, which will have a wider swathe of ages and might be a little bit less online.
I understand the fear some people have of these spaces being more transphobic than younger spaces — that’s not personally been my experience, as transphobia and lateral bigotry might happen in any social space, but unfortunately, you just don’t know the specifics of an event or a group until you get there and actually meet and talk to the people.
Some charities or community groups that run a variety of spaces might have specific age or identity guidance on group titles — some might be particularly for younger or older people, be for trans people more than cis people, and some might focus on particular sub-communities, such as BIPOC queer groups or specific religious or ethnic meetups, disabled queer groups, etc.
You also might find meetups that are centred around certain hobbies, professions, or interests — boardgames or Magic the Gathering, Doctor Who or fantasy novels, medical professionals or blacksmiths, etc, depending on how big the area you’re in is and how populous it is.
If you are already a member of an institution or society, whether that’s your school or university, your union, some workplaces, your temple or other religious institution, etc, you might find that there are already events running for you!
Finding Queer Events Online
There are almost certainly queer events on, and they’re probably advertised, but where do you find them?
What’s annoying about the Internet as it exists, corporate online spaces and otherwise, is that most events will be posted in one or two spaces out of hundreds. The good ones will sometimes be hard to find because there’s a bunch of shitty advertising in the way, and because individuals and small charity or community advertisers don’t necessarily know about things like search engine optimisation or how to make a good, searchable post. There will be really cool events that are advertised online, but just aren’t tagged or easy to find.
This means that it’s worth looking often but keeping it casual — glancing through the top page for events that might be coming up or meet some keywords, but if most of what you see is ads, just leave it and move on. Digging through for the good events in busy areas that are also ad-heavy can take ages and might not even turn up much.
If you find socials for local community groups or charities, even if they don’t run events themselves, they might regularly share other local events or cool ones, so it can be worth following them!
Ditto for other queer people in your community — follow local artists, performers, academics, creators, public speakers, craftspeople, or any local community leaders or public figures, and see if they share and boost local events.
They might boost special interest events that are of interest to you if you follow people who share certain communities or interests. If, for example, you have an interest in lolita fashion and follow queer lolita dressers in your area or in areas you can travel to, they might post events that are of interest to them and maybe to you — whether that means specific lolita events, other clothing and fashion events like gothic or steampunk markets and shows, or even anime cons or renaissance faires or whatever.
Obviously searching on social media can help — looking for keywords like “queer event” or “LGBT social” on one site or other can be especially good if it’s a site where you can localise your search results, such as Facebook or Instagram.
With that said, Facebook and Instagram are increasingly difficult sites to use given how much they’re overwhelmed by sponsored and corporate posts as well as spam and bot posts. So, it’s generally worth it more when you focus on either events in smaller and limited areas, such as small towns, or when you’re looking for crossing over of different areas of interest, such as particular queer hobbyist or interest groups. When you start looking for broader spectrum events in a busier or more populous area, you can get inundated by spam and copy-and-paste duplicate ads that have all been promoted. But it’s still worth it to have a glance and see if anything is up at the top!
Sites and apps like Eventbrite or TicketSource, or equivalents in your area, will often let you search for specific events . As with social media, these sites can have the same problem of sponsored events coming up first, and annoyingly you can’t block particular event providers or organisers to make sure they don’t show in your search results if they’re not your thing.
Use every option that comes up and see if you can cross search where you can — pick a particular location or area, click on free or paid events, pick events at certain times, pick a certain kind of event, add in tags like LGBTQ or similar if it’s a site that allows it, etc.
If an event comes up that you like the idea of, note it down, then look the organizer up on social media and see if they run or share other events.
Looking for local tourism sites will let you search for other local events as well — especially if you live in a city or regularly visit one, they’ll often have a What’s On page or a Visit [Blank] website or equivalent, and you can search through that — most of them will have cultural events or a specific LGBTQ section you can glance through.
Here’s the Visit Bristol site, for example:
What’s On in Bristol — VisitBristol.co.uk Click here to find out What’s On in Bristol!…Get the latest information on the latest Events, Festivals, Carnivals…visitbristol.co.uk
For obvious reasons, sites like most of the above will focus on paid events, especially evening and party events. Pub quizzes, drag events, bingo nights, balls, drinks offers, parties, etc.
These events aren’t for everybody — and if they’re not for you, focus on events that take place, if not in cafés and restaurants, then in libraries, universities, museums, and other public buildings.
Queer Events Locally Advertised In-Person
Wait, do people still do that?
Look for poster and notice boards in:
Libraries, museums, community centres, university lobbies
Vintage and alternative clothes stores, music venues, etc
Your temple, church, or other religious institutions
Gay bars, queer cafés, LGBTQ centres, queer bookshops
Doctor’s offices, GUM clinics, and sexual health clinics
Anywhere else you see a noticeboard with events showing!
Also look on flag poles or in windows around your local gay bars or businesses if you have any, generally around the gay village if there’s one to go through.
How do you know the events are good? How do you know they’re legit?
How old does the poster look? Do you see many copies of it around?
Look for dates for the event(s) they’re advertising on the poster, and then look up the venue the events are meant to happen at. Do the dates match? Is it a regular event? Is the event showing on the venue’s website or social media?
Is the event run by a local group, collective, or charity? When you search them, do they have socials or a site of their own? Do they seem active?
If a local queer poster gives you socials, check those socials out — do they have any followers you’re familiar with? Do they post their venues publicly and have defined and public meeting times? Do they seem to have active and engaged commenters? Is there a face or faces behind the social media, or are they anonymous?
If an event is run by anonymous people, or if it seems like they don’t have many followers on social media or very active ones, that might be a bit more suspicious — ditto if an event just gives you a phone number but not any further identifying info.
It’s not inherently suspicious for a queer event to be at an undisclosed location, because of course people do want to ensure some safeguarding and vet people before they come, but if it’s an undisclosed location in combination with anonymous organising, that might be a bit suspicious, and should probably be avoided.
Finding Queer People in Specific Hobby or Other Community Spaces
You don’t have to go to queer-specific events to meet other queer people — any hobby or community you can think of, there’s probably queer people in attendance.
If you’re in a busier or more populous area, say there are 5 events that centre around the same hobby — of those 5, some of them will have more queer people than others, and it might be worth checking them out just to see if you click with anyone there.
My partner and I attend queer-specific board-game evenings that are run out of gay bars or by queer clubs, but pretty much any board-game night is likely to have one or two queer people knocking about, whether they know or would identify themselves as LGBTQ+ off the bat or not.
While there are obviously more open queer people at the queer events, I would say that when we went to a local board-game night run by older straight guys, about a quarter of the attendees were older queer people.
Of my queer friends, pretty much all of them have varied interests and attend different groups or clubs with a lot of other queers knocking about without them being labelled or explicitly queer events — knitting and crocheting, computer coding, electronic music and DJing, fandom, blacksmithing, glassblowing, stand-up comedy, improv, cooking, gardening, board games, cosplay and historical costuming, LEGO, live-action roleplay, tabletop roleplaying games, Magic the Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh, and other trading card games, poker, burlesque, sports games and clubs, swimming, cycling, fishing, photography, book clubs, bug collecting, birdwatching, weaving, painting, sculpture, pottery, video games, singing, songwriting, poetry…
The list goes on.
Hell, half the people I know seem to go and meet new dates at the local climbing wall, where it seems like all the lesbians and gay guys are crawling all over one another. Another friend of mine attends their local WI, and have met other queer people there.
Other Tips
Remember you can meet people on dating and hook-up apps and that doesn’t necessarily have to be for sex and relationships, whether that’s Grindr, Her, Lex, etc — or you can ask hook-ups and casual dates where they go or if there are local events they think are good or fun. Poly people are particularly useful for this, because they’ll often have a whole network of regular events crossing over and diverging.
If you’re nervous about going to an event alone and you don’t have anybody to go with you, it can be worth checking it out on socials first and see if you have any mutual friends with people that are going — if not, it’s worth heading along anyway, because people might well speak to you before you have to open the conversation with them.
Community groups will often have icebreakers or sessions where people swap names, pronouns, and basic introductions, and that can ease the way into getting used to the space.
If you see somebody else on their own who seems nervous to talk to people, they can be good to approach and say, hey, I also don’t know anyone here, what brings you here? And so on. Remember, other people are pretty much always in the same boat as you.
For me, one of the biggest anxieties about going to new events alone is the fact that I’m disabled and dependent on public transport, and that combo can make it tough on me if I get to a place and it’s inaccessible or just not my speed, and then I have to sort of immediately turn heel and leave, but wait ages for a bus in the meantime. I’ve missed more than one event I was really excited about just because transport didn’t line up for me.
Some considerations to keep in mind when you look for events:
Is the event free or paid? Is this clearly marked? Do you need to buy tickets in advance?
How recent is the posting about the event? Is it posted on a web page or a social media page? Are there recent comments or engagement on the entry? If there is a contact for the event, is it active and responsive?
Is this event regular or recurrent? Is it for a special occasion, and does it have sister events or concurrent events?
Is the event exclusively online, exclusively in-person, or do they change between the two formats? Would you prefer to attend online before you attend in-person?
Do you want to go to a closed and more private group — for example, one that has you message them for the time and location, seems to have capped attendee limits, seems to have a regular community. Or do you want to attend a more casual event in a larger, open space where people might not notice as much as you come and go? Is it going to be very crowded or more spaced out?
Where is the event located, and will you be comfortable in that venue? Is it in a community building such as a charity space, community group, religious institute, school, or university? Is it in a café, restaurant, pub, bar, club, or late-night venue? Is it an explicitly or dedicated queer space? If you are not out to other members of your community, will going into this space reveal that you might be a member of a queer group?
Is the venue age-restricted, and will it require ID? If you must provide ID, will providing your ID in a dead name or in a different gender presentation to your current one be anxiety-inducing or a potential problem for you?
How accessible is the venue to you? Is it walkable, on a regular bus route, or does it have appropriate parking for you? Does it have ramps or elevators? Is it well-ventilated, and does it have a HVAC or other air filtration and purification protocol? Is masking enforced, and/or are masks provided? If you might be watching something together, is there a hearing loop, will there be subtitles on a screening? Is there a first aider at the event? Does the venue serve food or drink, or provide refreshments?
If you are attending alone and have specific needs or requirements, or might need to leave abruptly, is there someone you can let know at the event, such as a first aider or community leader? Are there regular buses, a taxi rank, or online taxi access if you need to quickly head home? Have you let someone else know where you are going, just as a safety concern?
Is the event activity-based, or is it a space where people just sit and talk? Would one or the other of these feel more natural or comfortable to you? Do you have to bring your own activity, such as with a craft or knitting circle, or are supplies provided, such as boardgames or a screening?
Does the group or host for the event(s) have social media? Do they advertise the regular events on socials, or have a newsletter, or some other helpful reminder system?
Most community events will be free, but if it’s an activity group or society, or if it’s a private event, especially one where they buy equipment or supplies, there might be an up-front ticket or access fee, a membership fee or a collection jar or similar — most events will tell you in advance if there is a fee or if they might request a donation.
Most importantly, like… Have fun.
If it sucks, hit the bricks — there’s no obligation to stay anywhere if it’s not fun or doesn’t satisfy you in the way you were hoping.
There’s always other events out there, and you’re very unlikely to truly be the only gay in the village, even if it sometimes feels that way. Good luck!
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heliza24 · 3 months
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I want to talk a little bit about Daniel in the Interview with the Vampire show, because the new trailer material has me stuck thinking about him, and also I’ve never written about how meaningful he is as disabled character to me before.
I don’t see many people thinking about show!Daniel in these terms, but he’s a canon disabled character. And I think the way he is written is just SO good. The acerbic wit, his relationship to doctors and his medication, his rueful acceptance of the way his disability has changed him. It is all so correct!! It’s really incredibly rare to have not only a disabled character written this well but specifically a chronically ill character written this well. His illness is always present; it doesn’t get forgotten about by the story. It gives Daniel insight into the vampires (more on this in a min), but it also gives Louis and Armand leverage over him. When Louis triggers his Parkinson’s symptoms? Deeply not ok. But that’s what made it such a great scene, and really made Louis feel dangerous and threateningin that moment. Armand and Louis arranging Daniel’s meds is a sign of great care and also great power over Daniel. It’s the perfect way to communicate the complicated power dynamic in their relationship.
I also just fucking love that this show takes place in 2022 and doesn’t erase the pandemic. Covid is a very present concern for Daniel and I cannot describe how validating that is for me as someone who is clinically vulnerable to Covid and who has had to really limit my life and take a lot of precautions because everyone else has decided to stop caring whether they pass on Covid or not. The fact that Daniel gets on a plane to Dubai is a BIG DEAL. He’s risking his life to talk to Louis and Armand before he’s even in the room with them. He really wants to be there. I have to make a similar calculation every time I travel, and trust me, getting on that plane knowing getting sick could spiral you into even worse health or kill you is really hard.
I think making Daniel disabled and including the pandemic is kind of a genius level decision on a thematic level. Of course Daniel is now facing down his mortality, which gives him a whole new lens on the vampires and the fact that he once asked them to turn him. And the pandemic further highlights his fragility, and is also possibly being used as a cover for drama that’s happening in the vampire world. But I think it also really sets Daniel up as a foil to Louis.
There’s a lot of analysis of the vampire chronicles that reads vampirism as a metaphor for queerness. But I would actually propose that it’s a much neater parallel for disability and illness in a lot of ways. So many of Louis’s initial experiences after being turned resonated with me, as someone who became chronically ill in my 20s. My appetite and relationship to food completely changed, much like Louis. My relationship with the outdoors and the sun changed, because of dysautonomia and allergy reasons. I was very mad, and very depressed, and I too have missed out on birthday parties and big life events like Louis did because I was too sick to go. Hell, you can even say that the way that Louis is treated as evil by his family, that the way vampires literally can’t be a part of society during the day, is reminiscent of ableist exclusion and ugly laws. (Ugly laws were laws that forbid disabled people, especially those with visible differences, from being out in public, and they were on the books in many American municipalities until the 1970s.) You can look at Lestat being an out and proud vampire in the first few episodes on the season and imploring Louis to leave his shame behind as a queer thing, but you can also view it as a disabled thing. Disabled people are portrayed as monstrous so often (and in a way that has gone relatively unexamined compared to say, the queer coded villain trope) that sometimes it’s just easier to embrace that label: I’m the monstrous Crip, but at least I’m not ashamed of or disgusted by who I am anymore.
I do think the real strength of this adaptation is that while you can find parallels between queerness or disability or other forms of marginalization with vampirism, ultimately it’s not a one-to-one parallel. It speaks to the real world but ultimately it is a gothic horror story about supernatural monsters. So I don’t mean to say that vampirism directly equals disability, because it does not. But I do think that making Daniel disabled was an intentional choice to help draw out some of those parallels, and I think the text is richer for it.
So Louis and Daniel have had these kind of parallel experiences of uncontrollable and difficult things happening to their bodies. It sets them up perfectly as foils, and even, I would argue, as the A plot and B Plot protagonists. This is one of my favorite ways of kind of examining the structure of a TV show (or maybe it’s that most of my favorite shows seem to be structured this way?). When TV was all episodic, it would be common to refer to the A plot (mystery of the week), B plot (interpersonal drama happening as the mystery gets solved) and C plot (any overarching plot tying the season together) in an episode. Now that stuff is serialized, there’s often a main protagonist, who has the main dramatic question and the most agency, and then there is often a secondary B plot that explores similar themes and mirrors the A plot, or presents a second main character who is the ldifferent side of the same coin” to the main protagonist. (My favorite example of this is Flint and Max in Black Sails, and I’ve also made the argument that Wilhelm and Sara fit this pattern in Young Royals.) In IwtV, Louis is obviously the main protagonist of the show, especially in the A Plot, which is the stuff taking place in New Orleans/Paris. But I would argue that Daniel is the protagonist of the B Plot set in Dubai. At the very least they’re intentionally set up as mirrors of each other:
They are both unreliable narrators, who are struggling with the way memory contorts (through memory erasure, illness, deliberate obfuscations, and just the passage of time). The most recent teaser trailer, where we hear Louis saying “I don’t remember that”, with panic in his voice, further underlined this similarity between Louis and Daniel to me. I don’t know if it means that Louis has also had his memory tampered with, as I’m assuming Daniel has, but I do think it means that Louis is going to be struggling with feeling out of control of his own narrative more in season 2, a thing that was already starting for Daniel in season 1.
They are also both locked into power struggles with people more powerful than they are. The fact that Louis is under Lestat in the flashbacks and above Daniel in the Dubai scenes in terms of power/status makes it all the more interesting. And, if we want to go ahead and assume that the Devils Minion’s years have happened in the past by the time we get to Dubai— it’s possible that both Daniel and Louis are united in being the less powerful partner in their own respective fucked up gothic romances.
They’re also both the audience’s entry point into their respective stories. Louis’s narration guides us into the world of vampires. Daniel’s questioning satisfies our human curiosity in Dubai.
I think one of the things that makes the show so special is the way that these two protagonists interact. In a lot of shows the a plot and the b plot stay pretty separate. I love talking about Black Sails for this because I think it’s such a good example; Flint and Max never exchange dialogue the entire show, even though they’re so clearly affecting each other the whole time. But the way that Louis and Daniel clash in Dubai is so exciting. We see them both wrestling for control of the narrative. It’s thrilling to watch and it just hammers home the theme of how complicated and changeable stories can be.
I am SO excited to see how the Dubai scenes play out in season 2 because of it. I really can’t wait. I’m really hoping we’ll see Daniel and Louis’s relationship evolve in surprising ways, and I’m holding my breath that we’ll get a lot of Armandaniel material to work with. (I have a whole other post drafted that’s much less smart than this one and is just me waxing poetic about Devil Minion’s theories which I may post at some point. You have been warned.)
I do have two wishes for Daniel in the new season, and they’re 1: that he gets to have romance/sex, because disabled (and older!) characters are so often seen as unworthy of being desired, and I would like to see that challenged and 2: that he continues to refuse to be turned/is not offered a vampiric cure for Parkinson’s. The magic cure for a disability or chronic illness is probably my least favorite disability trope, because it serves to erase disabled characters and representation from the narrative, and I want to see my experiences continue to be reflected in Daniel’s. That means that whatever ending Daniel’s story has will probably have at least a bit of tragedy baked into it, but I’m ok with that.
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punksocks · 10 months
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Astro Observations No.19
(Thank you so much for the support everyone! I appreciate you following my blog c:)
*Just based on my experiences, only take what resonates
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-Starting a new relationship during Venus in retrograde is guaranteed to teach you a karmic lesson with a probably karmic partner (I’ll never forget mine oml)
-Under developed Venus ruled men/ Men with heavy Venus placements are a nightmare. Underdeveloped ones choose to be chaotic with charming energy. Like f-boys or like vampires. They just tend to run through people and use them for validation. Sometimes they grow out of it and become better. A lot of times they just get too big of an ego and get narcissistic in this energy and are just destructive.
-The house your Juno is in could be an indicator of your soulmate’s placements (ex if your Juno is in Aries your partner may have Juno in first. Or if your Juno is in 5th they may have Leo in Juno. If your Juno is in Libra they may have Juno in 7th.)
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-Libra/Taurus/Venus in 1st house people can get away with such criminal behavior lol, people will never blame them or they will always want to see the best in their actions. I feel like Leo Asc/Sun in 1st can get through a lot of actions with confidence but they usually do face blow back at some point if they’re behaving badly.
-Neptune 1st house/Pisces rising will have a more erratic sort of filter applied to them. Like usually they’ll get like subconsciously softened and idealized by others but they’ll also get certain traits like air head or spacey applied to them. Basically getting elevated and infantilized the most imo.
-Having North Node in Pisces can be a murky karmic placement. I’ve found that North Node in Pisces can manifest as anything from spiritual devotion and detachment from others to lifelong addiction and reliance on substances, any path that has heavy Neptunian themes which feels like a roulette since Neptune rules over confusion.
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-Mars MC can be a sex symbol placement for any gender, someone known for their body or having a striking presence.
-Venus MC is definitely someone that’s known for being a charmer at best and a player at worst. Still very good with people either way.
-MC in Scorpio can manifest as someone that’s seen as constantly going through transformations and tribulations in their career and public life. Alchemy or catastrophe, always at an extreme.
-Venus can show where you are the most appealing to others (Venus in 1st would be seen as charming and probably having a very pretty face, Venus in 2nd would been seen as luxurious and having many resources and having a pretty body, Venus in 3rd would be a very charming speaker and likely have a voice that draws in others, etc I can make a whole post on this if anyone’s curious)
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-Aquarius Venus/Venus in 11th fall in love with someone unconventional, or someone they met in an unconventional way (online dating, penpal programs, stuff like that)
-I find all fixed moons have really intense emotions, they just express it in different ways (yo if you’ve ever just disagreed with an Aquarius moon you know they can get touchy if you’re not on the same page with their logic)
-Aquarius is not a great way to figure out if someone is queer imo. The connotation of being lgbtqia+ being essentially strange/out of the norm is … something already but plenty of queer icons that live with their careers/lives revolving around the queer community have no Aquarius in their charts at all (I was looking at Elvira’s chart after this Matt Baume video on YouTube about how she’s a queer icon that was elevated by the queer community and was a closeted lesbian and she turned out not to have a single Aquarius placement, a Virgo stellium and Leo placements stood out the most to me). Sappho is the asteroid to check out for wlw I’m not sure for mlm but I’m sure Greek mythology has given us a great asteroid for the mascs
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-Squares to north node can present “delays” with your destiny (more so having to hone aspects of your personality, having certain experiences beforehand, and coming into your destiny later in life, Joe Biden is an interesting example of this lots of squares and harsh aspects to north node and he ran for president like 7 times before he won, even became Vice President before, so interesting)
- (TW scars, harm) Scorpio can show where you have organic scars/birthmarks (Scorpio in 1st birth marks/freckles just appear on my face) where as Pluto can show where you get scars through experiences (I have Pluto in 2nd and I got burned on the lower third of my body when my dad left me in a hot water bath as a baby :/)
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onceuponanaromantic · 5 months
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Sometimes I think the funniest thing ever is that I’m the living embodiment of like the Dark Academia area of study ~thing~ but I don’t dress like it and I can’t be bothered to go to the library because it makes me claustrophobic.
but then I also go and do things like have a long distance friendship with my best friend where our love language is sending each other papers and cases about whatever we find interesting at the moment but also we only talk like once every 6 months and like yeah.
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