#also wasnt sure how to do the zoom type effect | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

m4rkiza · 3 years

Text

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

#raileon #kbdn #kibadan #truerivalshipping #raileon headcanon

60 notes · View notes

wwounu · 5 years

Text

mafia!soonyoung “HOSHI” #2232111

↻ masterlist — intro￤s.coups￤yoon￤hong￤wen￤hoshi￤jeon￤woozi￤dk￤kim￤xu￤boo￤chwe￤lee

drift racer

leader of Perficio Unit

seventeen’s sort of chauffeur

the reason why seungcheol knows his way around streets? this guy.

his obsession with wanting to be a racer started all because of akira

the first moment his little four year-old eyes laid on it, it was love at first sight sparkly eyes, agape mouth, sparkles everywhere and everything

he’d watch the opening scene over and over again and never get tired of it

the thrill and dynamic of it all, how one single moment is never boring, daring to do the most insane of things

action and spy movies were his getaway from the world solely for the car chases

soonyoung wanted that

but as he grew older he realised that life wasn’t really like anime

real life was spent on eating and dumb exams he’d spend the night before cramming information

life got in the way of what his dreams, but racing was still close to his heart, even if that meant sneaking out of the house at night to attend drift races

and he wanted to race so badly the moment he stepped foot but there was one condition sixteen year old soonyoung couldn’t meet:

he had to have a car

quite obviously... he didn’t have a car, let alone was legal to drive

still, he kept attending often to watch the cars drift and race

but the more he stayed, the more he felt downhearted that he cant go on the track himself

so what does he do?

steal a car

truthfully it wasn’t ‘stealing’ as he found a busted car in a dump and called dibs because there was no name

problem two, the car needed repairing

and with the little money this teen had, soonyoung had to steal his family’s toolbox and learn how to repair the car himself

his life was currently: sleeping, eating, failing tests, sneaking out to drift races, failing more tests and trying to learn how the heck to repair a car

it took him two months to put the car in decent shape, which felt longer than it did since soonyoung had to also test the car’s stability

meaning soonyoung had to learn how to drive and that was an experience in itself

he was more worried that once he started to drive that the joy of it would fade away

but did it? hell no

soonyoung: 1 world: 0

on the bright side, he was proud of himself when he finally finished the car — he called it hurricane because the rust looked like tiny raindrops

his first race (that he sneaked in to join) ended up with him going home with way more money than he thought

despite lying about his age, he finally found home on the tracks — and the highlight of the night being driving away from the cops

gets a rush from driving, adrenaline pumps in his blood

seungcheol was an acquaintance of soonyoung’s during their highschool years, but hadn’t spoken until their senior year just before seungcheol left as the leader found out about his drift races

which only happened because soonyoung was sleep-talking about it during a library meet-up for a paired presentation they needed to do

soonyoung would always talk about his races to the male, usually bragging how tired he was because he had a fun crazy night, then crying over the bad mark he got on his paper shortly after

he even took seungcheol on a late night ride around his hometown to tour all places in that single night seungcheol was scared out of his mind at how fast he was driving, but soonyoung doesn’t need to know that

sadly, they lost contact when seungcheol disappeared

which is why seungcheol was begging jeonghan to find soonyoung and recruit him

jeonghan, being the way he is, played hot and cold with his begging friend for a while before eventually saying FINE when seungcheol didn’t talk for him to two weeks

he drags himself to the location seungcheol told him to go becuase it was apparently the place soonyoung races in

disguises himself with a very big hoodie and mask so he wouldn’t be recognised, but that wasn’t a problem because the area was more packed than jeonghan expected

for illegal racing, it was sure popular

question was, who the hell is soonyoung

got bored after two seconds so he wandered around and tried to find someone who didn’t look like they wanted to hunt him down or weird him out

struck up a conversation with a guy who was occupied on his phone, sending cartoon bunny images to a chat named famalam jeonghan snorted at the stupid name

he also noticed that the guy was leaning on a car with 1010 harshly engraved on it, but ignored that

soonyoung, on the other hand, was minding his own business that night, mainly more excited than usual since his parents were out of town which meant he was guilt-free about sneaking out tonight

he also wanted to try out his new hand-painted, shiny red car, not forgetting the small design he was trying out for the first time

but before he could get on the track, someone approached him — a really strange approach — yet thought that he could have some time talking with this person to be on time for the race

as the announcer was warning the two minute start before the race, his eyes lit up and made his way inside the car and silently prayed that it was fully working before twisting the key and hearing the sweet sound of it starting up

cooly, he says ‘thats my cue’ to the stranger

just as he was going to leave, the stranger asks his name

soonyoung smiles, revving his engine whilst the announcer counts down for dramatic effect

‘soonyoung. kwon soonyoung’

and he zooms off within seconds, hollering when the cars are moving on the track and his joins along, placing himself first place in a few seconds

jeonghan owed seungcheol an apology.

doubtless, soonyoung won, getting his money just in time before the blue and red lights could be seen

he was about to leave up until he saw the stranger he talked unaware of where to go, a bit panicked

wanting to be the hero, he offered him a ride and luckily escaped from the cops

the man, which introduced himself as jeonghan, thanked him once soonyoung took him to a local 24-hour diner, munching on a celebratory sundae with his prize money

he offered jeonghan some, but jeonghan refused but what monster refuses sundaes?

the rest of the story basically is soonyoung seeing jeonghan once again during his races, apparently having an urgent problem that he had to attend to

which made soonyoung offer to drive him to this location, missing out the race at least that meant someone other than him could be the winner

stepping on it, soonyoung drove as fast as he could to the place jeonghan needed to go to asap jeonghan didnt expect for soonyoung to give him whiplash

and when soonyoung realised he was stepping foot in a dark, eerie building, he figured that it was too late to call quits

his active mind thought jeonghan was an undercover murderer, ready to cut soonyoung’s limbs to sell them to the black market and ship them to germany, he wasn’t ready for his arms to be shipped to germany-

‘SEUNGCHEOL IS THAT YOU?!’

and like that, he joined seventeen without any hesitation

never thought of being a real drift racer for a mafia

just thought his racing days would be a illegal hobby to him

soonyoung was also an icon within the drift racing community, so he was sad when he was told that he couldn’t attend every night anymore because he’s in a mafia and ‘seventeen is supposed to be undercover, butthead’

soonyoung giggled at minghao saying butthead

his collection of cars wasnt too bad, but there weren’t any to make people go thats one cool dude with a cool car

joshua lets soonyoung use his cars since he personally doesnt drive that confused soonyoung and it surprised soonyoung because his many many cars was like a utopia

he’s proud of his character development from ‘running away from police all the time’ to ‘running away from the police with better and fancier cars’

so far soonyoung has broken twenty and counting

and lost sixty-three... and counting

knows how to hijack cars through his repairing experience

hijacks cars whenever he gets the chance to aka all the time

and during whole-group jobs, he trots to the parking lot with chan because he’s dragged to these things to inspect the cars and cherry-pick which is the most worthy to steal

but if other cars catches his eye, he leaves an engraving of 1010 with a metal object

in regards to 1010, he makes sure all of the cars joshua he owns has 1010 nicely engraved on it because he deserves to be treated as a prince

always sometimes can’t help himself when he sees a shiny new car, he just has to get it

practices doing donuts with those cars in spare time

“soonyoung what’s this”

“the lambo veneno! a beauty!”

“which you broke into”

“i left an apology note!”

“YOU STILL STOLE A CAR”

“but-”

“THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH SOONYOUNG GODDAMMIT”

Perficio Unit has to watch over their leader because leader unit have given up on him

although he seems cheerful with his members, he can get angry easily

wont hesitate to run someone over

doesnt take it lightly when he’s shunned by others as being stupid and purposely crashes into their car if he’s feeling like it

as for his members, he cant stay angry for too long, but is the type to flip his personality around them or usually leave the room when they’re in there

he’ll then think how stupid he’s acting and apologise himself, talking to that member about what went wrong and where they can build up on it

also buys them something because he feels bad, like that gold bracelet he got for mingyu or the ugly gucci slippers he got for minghao

when he takes lead of their mission, his speeches are usually race-related or metaphorised using racing-terminology

no one understands what he means

is in charge of getting the call when his members need a pick up and he’s there within a snap, blasting music when they jump in and he drives off as they shoot the rivals following them

when it comes to leading his unit, he doesn’t have much to do since they understand each other perfectly and get on with the work — it’s soonyoung who needs to control himself

can sometimes go too far by getting too tipsy on the wine and Perficio Unit play rock paper scissors on who looks after him jun usually loses

loves heists especially when he’s chosen to lead them

seventeen avoid doing the typical bank or jewellery heists, but heist upperclass families/mafias that have had dirty business with seventeen

because of this, soonyoung plans way way way in advance about recreating the best car chases he sees in movies

not akira level, because nothing can come close to that masterpiece

therefore, the most weird things happen during this and seventeen just have to go with seeing sudden explosions and inserts of wild animals coming into the chase

Perficio Unit cannot believe that this is their leader, but sadly, it is

vernon supports his ideas and helps him to live out his dream by planning the explosions at the right time and making sure the fire that spreads spells out HOSHI when authorities come to report on the area

minghao, being the one with braincells, stabs a knife through the newspaper with its headline regarding a fire-spread the night previous

soonyoung is snaked out by vernon that exact moment the male confronts him

minghao isnt surprised

is probably the only one who still connects with his family

they aren’t aware about his new mafia life — nor the fact he’s been sneaking out since sixteen to join drift races — but he isn’t letting go of his family

his family had never been stable with money ever since childhood, and it was because of soonyoung’s reward money that they moved and are living safely in thailand

has to take care of them because they worked so hard for him and he can only return the favour this way, even if it involves with blood in his hands

but if his family find out about the mafia, he doesnt know what to do — seventeen mean so much to him as well

and he can’t choose sides between his family or seventeen

though, he has his future planned out already

one day he hopes to reunite with his family in thailand permanently to begin a life of farming

by that time he’d already have enough from his drifting days and seventeen to live comfortably, spending it carefully now that he’s an old person because old people are mature with their money

would gather up his grandkids ‘little stars’, he calls them to tell stories about how grandpapa hoshi would speed off away in cars from explosions with the help of his best friends

and his children would laugh at how silly he’s sounding while the grandkids’ eyes shine like his and his partner glances at him too, chuckling quietly

even his grandkids enjoy akira too!

well, his kids tell them off for making them watching something graphic, so he lets his grandkids settle with cars 2

but he’ll never raise his children and grandkids to be like him, or live in his lifestyle because even though it’s fun, it’s dangerous, so he gets overprotective with his little stars and scolds his children when they arent doing something right, even if it’s minor

a very naggy and cheerful grandpapa

doesn’t talk much about his past when his kids ask because it’s not important to him anymore since his family comes first, but when he thinks about it later he does admit it was the biggest part of his life for him and his partner is well aware of that too, keeping the secret safe too

and again, there’ll be one day where he’s sat, looking up into the sunset of his farm as the crops grow

his grandchildren are playing with their new puppy while his kids are preparing dinner

suddenly, he’s smiling to himself

he thinks about his life, the cool things he’d done, the stupid things he’d done, about his adventures, about seventeen

his mind lingers on seventeen, wondering how they’re doing — maybe they should meet again, like they do every year — ask seungcheol how his grandson is taking the business, or if chan fulfilled his dream of travelling the world

and he swears he could see their silhouettes in the far distance, beckoning him over to come

soonyoung does

and he feels young again

“A line for reaching to the beloved ones”

98 notes · View notes

prosecutorkoryos · 7 years

Text

so uh I haven’t touched this blog for a while but I wanted to describe the most terrifying experience of my fucking life that happened while playing Subnautica

few clarifications: I last played this game like, September 2016. IT HAS UPDATED SIGNIFICANTLY SINCE THEN. I also decided to play it on “creative mode” aka “invincible fun time mode” because I just wanted to ~have fun and explore the new stuff~, you know?

So, I haven’t kept up with the updates. The story bit of the game has bulked up significantly since I last played, and there’s much more direction now if you want it, which is nice; the icons are all cleaned up and such, a lot more stuff is textured, the cyclops can apparently be lit on fire, yada yada. I went ‘sploring and found a couple new faces, an electric eel type boy and a warp warp man. (Ultimate goal is to go up and scan a reaper but I am still???? too scared??? i literally cannot take any damage in this mode but the deep and ancient part of me that remembers being prey on the serengeti says DONT)

(subnautica is very good at VAGUE ANXIOUS ENVIRONMENTAL FEAR while also being very lovely to look at, and really grinds deep into the gray matter of Terror of the Deep, it’s very very good and I hatelove it)

anyway I started taking screenshots of the koosh zone while exploring/picking up samples for my soon-to-be-ultimate-creature-zoo, because this game can be very pretty

anyway after digging around a bit i discovered a TRENCH. i did not screenshot the trench because i did not realize i was about to have to fight for my very existence on this good earth.

did i enter the trench? of course I entered the fucking trench. there’s no crush damage in this mode and the game told me there was some sort of Big Energy Signature nearby. Down I went.

....and went. For 6000 meters. NOTHING. Except a kind of shelf at one point that I went and got under. (this minor detail is going to be crucial)

anyway at 6km i decided fuck it, i’ve held down on the s key for like 5 minutes, if i’m gonna plumb these depths i need to come back with my big boy sub. so i went back up. got to 3000 meters.

hey remember that little shelf i went under well turns out it was a ROCK CEILING 3000 METERS DEEP and i had gotten so turned around in the plumbing process that I couldnt fucking find the way out, it was all barren rock ceiling, no way back up even when i searched around and around and probably criscrossed my own path trying to map out featureless rock, i was boned as heck

OR.... WAS I....

said my own thoughts, because i happened to have in my possession a TERRAFORMER and as all good subnautica boys and girls know that thing can dig big ol holes in rock.

so... trapped 3000 meters below solid rock... i did what any sensible extrastellar refugee would do and decided to TUNNEL MY WAY BACK UP

leaving my trusty seamoth behind, i began to tunnel.... about 2000 meters through solid rock, in complete blackness, clicking frantically in the darkness, probably crying

(listen, i had some good eggs and scans in my inventory and i didn’t want to LOSE them by resetting, you gotta understand)

about 1km from the surface, i finally encounter open water!! i’ve done it!! i thought, foolishly, to myself. i brought out my seaglide and began to zoom up only to find

1. this was not open water

2. this was a cave

3. this was a giant cave filled with lava

4. subnautica has LAVA CAVES NOW???

5. the game was perhaps not totally sure about my method of getting INTO said lava cave, and didn’t seem prepared with some of the textures

by the way, IN ADDITION TO IT BEING A GIANT LAVA CAVE, there were like... structures down there?? which again I was not prepared for because I have not played this game in like 6 months?? but the textures wouldn’t load?? so I just got these really scary ominous unknown pieces of architecture that i was in no way prepared for and had no idea how they were supposed to look?? and everything was red?????

also because the textures weren’t loaded it was extremely difficult to tell what you could pass through and what you couldn’t, so i was basically ping ponging through invisible walls and wanting to cry because i tunneled 2000 meters thru solid rock and i was gonna die in badly rendered hell anyway

did i mention also, the noises

did i mention that there were a lot of VERY DISTRESSING SOUND EFFECTS IN THIS CAVE

and then, through the invisible walls, i saw the friend who was making them!!!

it’s hard to tell from this screenshot but that is a VERY. LARGE. BOY. TOO LARGE.

at this point ya boy koryos was basically like ready 2 ascend from this mortal plane. what is going on. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT. VERY DISTRESSED. ALSO WHATS THT THING IN THE CORNER

ok so i stopped trying to penetrate the invisible walls eventually and tried to burrow my way out again except APPARENTLY you cant burrow through LAVA which was STUPID anyway i was still very trapped

but i explored a bit and found....... this??

insert fuel crystal???

this mystery device bore all the hallmark of a Lazy Concept Sci Fi Warp Gate which was exciting to me because by god i was ready to be anywhere but there, in hell. but i didnt have a “fuel crystal” and it definitely wasn’t part of the game back in the center. But no problem!! This is creative mode!! I can just build a base down in hell!! A hell base!! Where I can craft anything I want!!!

so i made a base and a fabricator but uhhhhhhhhhhh there was no “fuel crystal” on the item list. so at this point it had been like an hour of desperate sweaty anxiety and i was like fuck it, i’ll console command it in, i just need...... freedom...... (without losing any of those good good scans)

anyway i looked it up and got the ~oddly pixelated crystal~, which powered up the warp

please... just take me somewhere that’s not red... that’s all i ask......

what

SO NOW IM HERE

“HERE”

THIS WASNT PART OF THE GAME IN SEPTEMBER, I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS HAPPENING AND IM STILL SCARED

anyway i believe i accidentally stumbled on some plot because i found a “control room” set to deactivate the “weapon” but a tentacle boy didn’t want to “deactivate” it because i was “““infected”““

mind you im still fucking... 69 m under the water.... 69 huh? i just noticed that in the screenshot nice

ANYWAY I WAS STILL TRAPPED LOST AND SCARED IN ALIEN HELL

anyway to make a long story short after getting lost about ten more times i FINALLY found an exit to the neon labyrinth and nearly cried when i saw my bud warp warp man outside

now that i was outside i could finally appreciate the fact that this shit was dope as hell, look at how cool that is, I LOVE MYSTICAL RUINS AND SHIT LIKE THIS

also it was connected to an island???? i thought subnautica was all about not having land???? anyway let’s just drop a beacon for later i need to get back to my fucking base and lie down to contemplate the ether for 6 hours

READY TO GO

100% SURE IM READY TO ESCAPE THIS NIGHTMARE

and so i survived the incident in which i was never in any actual peril, both in a real and virtual sense, but was still very distraught and very sweaty about, 10/10 would recommend subnautica to a friend

anyway i went on tumblr to soothe myself afterwards which was a MISTAKE because the monteray bay aquarium reminded me that there is no escape from the eldritch horrors of the ocean

THE END.

#subnautica #subnautica spoilers #i guess #help me #long post #im sorry #i have slept 2 hours in the last 24 i don't know who i am anymore but the ocean is scary

92 notes · View notes

rhinointherain · 4 years

Text

5-8-2020

Every coherent though is a chain of smaller thoughts Every (thought) is a combination of (feelings that you sense) Every (feeling that you sense) is an (amount of heat in a neuron) every (amount of heat in a neuron (degrees)) is a total sum of energy every total sum of energy is a neuron firing or not firing every neuron firing or not firing is the signal cells being released from the last neuron or not etc etc

Its all either off or on, one or zero, and the derivatives of them. It goes into the FOURTH dimension, the x axis is length (or time, the units) the y axis is x width (2d space) the z axis is x, height (3d space) and the other axis is derivative of x (4d space)

Every thing is a spectrum of itself underneath the 1

Each (x derivative) is an (x), each (x) is an (intergral/anti-derivative) of (x double intiderivative) and so on

Many peoples third eyes open within their lifetime, but only a fewer amount of people actually have the means tools etc to communicative what they understand effectively with the world and possibly harness it for productivity, which is what makes the difference between one of the greatest humans in history and a weird junkie

Kinda impressed by the fact that even despite having no language like this whatsoever to communicate with junkies can find a way to express these things in a way that other people whove gone through it can somehow recognize it

Or maybe they dont recognize what im recognizing at all, they are just communicating other more sensory aspects of “it” (act of third eye being open) and the people whose third eyes actually opened recognize these aspects

I can do anything now if only i remember what this was/is like. I can succeed in any field because I understand how all of them work in principal. Or at least if i remember what i recognize now well enough and can decipher it with enough focus to find a coherent way to use it

Being smart is the ability to recall them more quickly or the ability to understand their connections with each other better or understand them on a “lower” level ( the integral of x, x being thought). Maybe there is no “third eye opening” but its just that you get down on a level few people ever do. But there is no bottom it is an infinity of x into itself, also known as x derivative of x over x intergral of x

Hang on im starting to think of aspects of this i dont understand. Like what are coderivatives or whatever you call them. I cant understand where they fit into this because i dont remember exactly what they are. And time and space being two different dimensions (x and y) or space (y) being the derivative of time (x) oh wait that is exactly what im trying to say, i feel like it could be easier if writing by hand bc i could draw actual derivative symbols instead of counting on words u can type to express what im trying to say

(Wrote this last but put it here bc of organization) Remember this to help you understand: it isnt a chain bc its not just a line its in multiple dimensions. I.E. space. But it is because neurons fire in a chain I.E. time. We can only measure one direction in time but three in space.

Ok this is gonna make me sound even crazier as if I wasnt sounding crazy already. But time travel is not “movement” (one point to another) in the fourth x dimension aka 4th derivative of x (which would be to us like a wormhole), it’s movement in derivative of y? I think y, maybe i have this wrong. Neurons are oriented in space time. The amount of energy they have in them, their location in space (x,y,z coordinates), their location in time (along the x dimension) are all ways to describe the “point” they occupy in all dimensions. (Is the space time continuum represented by the x times xyz space section of all dimensions?)

Time travel is not just derivative of x, which is moving forward aka to the future, but integral of x which is moving “backward” in time aka the past

So not only can you move “outside” i e 4th derivative of x aka the fourth dimension of space (i didnt finish this thought. earlier and am trying to remember deeply enough what it said. It looked like it was a summary of the main idea that not only “” , but also you can move y derivates .” So you actually have an infinite number of dimensions being the derivative of one another in an infinite number of directions)

When they said everythings a fractal that was real

Things go in every direction all at once. And all those things go in every direction of their direction, which is infinitely more times greater than the first “every direction all at once” (which was infinity). Do you understand?

Good god. How did they figure this out. Like when you see media depictions of being high like tool album covers and stuff they have all that fractal stuff and when a sci fi movie wants to convey something deep the zoom in on the molecules until it looks like the universe zoomed out. They understand at least some aspect of this idea.

If i actually wanted my realization to be a groundbreaking thing i would probably need to spend a lot of years trying to convince people i wasnt crazy and only if i eventually effectively communicate my ideas across and spend a lot of time and energy to would it actually later seem like i were a tragic genius rather than a crazy person. also id need to try to hold on how i felt like when i was high for so long it would have a chance of disrupting my mental health/ability to function in society (same thing obvs) and driving me toward like hard drugs and that would not be good

Its so hard to explain the fourth dimension like i really dont think i could try to draw a representation of it like some people do (those cube things, i cant remember what theyre called), my conception of it is a lot more mathematical and verbal. But i still am pretty certain I understand it whether un-high me believes me or not

When youre trying to think about this stuff and you look away at your environment and think about memories and do other complex things that require much deeper chains of neurological communications in order to process them, it becomes a lot harder to focus in on these ideas because the complex things require a much higher/broader/vaguer level of though (higher broader vaguer being words we can use to try to understand what it means to be on a “higher level” as in OUTSIDE OF, DERIVATIVE OF X, IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION etc, just as like (above) and (below) describe location along the z axis if you think of the xy plane aka z equals zero as the “ground” and above means positive z and below means negative z.)

Its going to be harder than i thought to communicate this when sober lol but its still nice i was able to experience it lol

Other things to mention 1. Up until this point (but not after), some pieces of text are out of order than they were written, usually the paragraphs were all written together though not always 2. I wasn’t hallucinating per se but I understand how they work now bc some of the things in the corners of my vision, where my eyes are giving less attention to their light receptors, I’m seeing things off from how they actually are: I turn toward them and perceive them normally but when I turn away and theyre in the corner of my vision i see the distortion again. Its not like scary hallucinations or anything like for example I perceived a giant black slab like in space odyssey in place of the dark doorway, or a wall where there wasnt one. Its because my brain was focusing/thinking in different ways than its used to and so its less sensitive to the type of information it usually takes in from its environment and its interpretations of it are less precise and thus not entirely “correct”. Its a really interesting way of thinking about what it is that you actually notice and perceive. Like the experiment where they switch out the person asking for directions and the majority of people dont actually notice its a difference person

Yeah ok i cant really write much more bc im significantly less high rn, I could sit here the whole rest of the time and try to make sure I understand all this well enough each time I get less high but I really don’t feel like doing that its like, drifting farther and farther away and taking more effort to really grasp it with each drift towards sobriety and while thinking about how I might not understand all this stuff soon I’m tired lol and I appreciate the experience. Anyway yeah

More things I was thinking in the shower: Everything is a direction? And so everything is a dimension? Not just in space or time, thats only one section of it which can be described by a “shape” with three dimensions in the space orientation and one in the time orientation. All categories are their own dimension. In any given moment you are at an intersection of a certain (point) on [the shape representing the space time continuum] and all the other infinities

Question. Does the idea of god fit into all of this. “Who is doing the moving”—that would be god? “What is “moving””, etc. ? If “everything” is all infinities of infinities and this goes on infinitely, there is no possible way to be “outside” that infinity. Therefore you cant possibly “move” it all bc movement requires a force, and that force cant come from “outside” of it so therefore it all “moves” itself? How accurate is the term “movement” to describe what i am referring to? Which is our existence. Aka where the space time continuum is oriented within the “everything”. And by extent, where we ourselves are oriented within the space time continuum. I feel like i could represent this well with a 3d image. We are each our own space time continuum? With all this being understood i believe there is no possible way for us as humans to answer the question of whether there is a god, or what god is. I could be wrong about this but I dont think I personally would be able to. Same with the question of free will. The two are definitely interrelated. I feel like the ideas ive been saying can provide a different framework for talking about questions like this about god and free will and stuff, but the new framework would have to be engaged with/understood more fully in order to get any answers significantly more substantial than what we as humans have already.

“Third eye opening” is what i refer to this experience as but thats just an expression. The eye opening metaphor doesnt hold up super well when i actually think about what i mean by it. What i mean is the moment that you started to understand existence {in a certain way}, more “deeply”/“outside of just perceiving the space time continuum. But i dont think it actually necessarily refers to a specific threshold thats being passed, i just feel like ive reached a level today that is noteworthy because of how much i am able to understand. {In a certain way} is purposefully vague because again im not really sure if there is a threshold for what that certain way actually is, or how you might determine it. Its more that i reached a significant level of understanding existence today. But when people talk about the “third eye being open”, and they actually mean it, this is definitely in the realm of what they mean. Out of all the people in the world who make claims about having their “third eye open”, probably not very many of them mean something similar as i do when I talk about my experience of the third eye being open.

I was thinking about some other stuff as i was lying in bed i didnt write it down unfortunately as i was thinking it but i think it was pretty much repetitions of earlier ideas but elaborated in slightly different ways. overall the final thought was that in sum here are was that i not only can finally conceive of the idea of the fourth (spatial) dimension properly, but i also finally understand that the spatial dimensions are only one tiny “branch” of the many infinities of dimensions that branch into infinitely more infinities of dimensions. I understand now what is meant by “space time continuum” in relation to “everything else”. Oh one other thought i do remember having is that human “religion” (we talked in one my classes how difficult that word is to define) has very little to do with the actual god questions, i.e. what god is and what movement is and how god “works”, but not absolutely nothing to do with them. It’s our (humans’) very very very imprecise way of trying to address these questions.

And one other final thing. My first instinct was to spend hours thinking about how to best and most precisely communicate my understanding so that other people (and sober me) can understand it. I don’t understand why thats what I immediately jumped to doing and still feel the urge to do, when I could much more easily have decided that I was content with just understanding it myself and spending the rest of life knowing that I now have this special knowledge. I always thought i saw knowledge for the sake of knowledge as the ultimate pursuit but I guess I also have the drive to apply it somehow. I wonder if this is true for everyone on some level or not. Oh yes I also had been thinking about how difficult human language is to express what I’m trying to say because its not really equipped for it. like i just want to put quotations around every single word because words are just approximations for the ideas they are trying to express even when talking about ideas that our language is actually designed to describe, not even to mention trying to talk about stuff that it isnt. math concepts (even the few that I actually know anything about) are super super helpful to me in trying to think about and communicate these ideas and now I completely understand what people mean when they say that math is our best bet for being able to communicate with extraterrestrial intelligent life seeing as we have no way of knowing how other beings might perceive information. Wait a minute. Whos even to say that even if our definition of “life” didnt ever evolve anywhere else in the universe, there couldn’t be something else that wasn’t “alive” by this strict definition but not exactly “not alive” either. Like it didnt have “cells” exactly like earth organisms but it was somehow distinct from “not alive” things just like earth organisms are. Like the same way that viruses are neither alive nor not alive.

That article i had to read in cog sci about the “levels of understanding” (i.e. sociology is an abstraction of psychology is an abstraction of biology is an abstraction of chemistry is an abstraction of physics) is something that can fit into this understanding and probably led me to it too, seeing as I have thought about it a good deal since when i read it a few years ago. “...Is an abstraction of” is kinda like saying “is the derivate of”. Or is it like saying “is the integral of”, sorry I’m getting really tired.

Is “How” the integral of “what”, or the derivative?

Ok NOW i am going to actually sleep and instead of trying to think about this more i am going to be content with the fact that i now have all this knowledge.

Your neurons take a snapshot

Even if i am right about all this there isnt actually a point in conveying it and making it understood by other people. Even if it is an extraordinary feat to be able to understand all this it wont be seen as extraordinary (whatever that means) unless enough other people can understand it well enough to understand its significance, or someone who does understand it can make it relevant in some way to the rest of humanity and the functioning of society. I can wake up tomorrow and choose to say “lol i was so high and just rambling nonsense” and choose never to engage with these ideas again and go about my life like normal, or i can take on the burden of choosing to believe they are real, and then deciding whether i need to make them and their significance known (I dont even know if i know what their “significance” is, or if they have one). I dont know which one would overall be the better thing to do.

#journal #aug 2020 #🌿

0 notes

likeabulletyoucanhurtme · 6 years

Text

I watched another film and wrote about it. Not a horror this time, more of a fantasy film but some definite weird/horror visuals in parts Troll

I decide I want to watch films from listicles and stupid articles posted from facebook. I decide to do reviews/re-action blogs/liveblog posts, not because of the film but just if I have time/effort to put in. I was recommended to watch TROLL 2 as a horror and thought TROLL 1 would need to be watched first. Turns out they're completely unrelated but whatever, TROLL is an 80s fantasy film, but dark in its own way as we will see... Slow zoom into a book, sitting alone and light up from light through a stained-glass window. Could this film be anymore 80′s? The book opens and no-one's touched it! What a surprise... The moving company is called Starving Students, what a nice cheery company. I don't know if that's an actual company name or the directors real life situation. Dad drives off and leaves the family to load in the boxes and do the heavy lifting. Typical male avoiding hardwork, although I do like that the mum is doing all the heavy lifting Ignored daughter with the sickeningly sweet blonde hair and bunches has to chase her ball... she gonna dieeee! Yeah, disembodied hairy arm has now grabbed her-so long dear! The troll is small and hairy, doesn't look like he'd be much of a threat to people trying to cross a bridge Lovely weird green light - state of the art special effects here. Oh look the trolls now turned into the girl, I wonder if he knows enough about human anatomy to have thought this plan through? Or being a troll instead of human, will he not need to use the toilet? The brother is now looking for Wendy (the girl) and asks if she's been playing with dead cats? Like, why is that a valid question? Seems like the real Wendy was into some pretty freaky stuff even before this film Troll knows enough about English to carry on full conversations with the parents but can't eat properly Kids run out and suddenly they're running downstairs instead, they go out the front door and then coming back downstairs again - what Euclid geometry is in this building anyway Guys upstairs says he's into swinging...I don't know why you would mention that when meeting new neighbours Also they're having a full conversation while the fire alarm is going off, like ok there might be a fire but moaning about kids is definitely what you should be doing right now Dad is called Harry Potter...shame they didn't trademark that... Everyone seems to think this is a false alarm but how do they know? So lucky they're not getting burned right now. Dad is being slagged for being able to read, what a strange attitude for people who are literally in a book. Troll is trashing the place, tries to bite dad and still hasn't been controlled. Supernanny would have a lot to say about these parenting techniques Oh she was playing Godzilla, how does the troll know who godzilla is? Does he have access to Wendys memories because he now looks like her, or was horrible troll this up-to-date with pop culture? Breakfast scene in the morning was obviously filmed in the evening judging by the light coming in through the window Troll knows enough to dress himself as a little girl at least. Troll throws the brother at the wall and he can't admit it to his parents because the unrealistic and sexist pressures put on him by society wont allow him to admit he was beaten up by (what he thinks was) a girl Swinger from upstairs is a sexist alcoholic, oh dear how predictable. Troll has stabbed swingerman with his ring and now he's bleeding, swelling up and turinging green. I really hope people didn't think this was a kids movie cause that would cause serious nightmares Ah, he's turned into a plant. Troll is just trying to counteract global warming by turning pollutive humans into foliage. Now theres baby trolls and creatures coming out of this plantlike mess...are they his children? or did he turn the man into them?? this is so confusing Old lady has a weird singing mushroom type thing in her apartment on the top floor-she's obviously friends with the troll and the reason why the troll chose to live in their building specifically Boy casually accuses old woman he's just met of stealing. She seems to accept this with no indignation at all. Jr is oversharing with random old woman - no get out run away she's mixed up in it all! Having turned someone into a plant troll is now back to looking like Wendy and playing ball in the middle of the road Troll knows about godzilla but seems really confused at a taxi. Saved by a dwarf who I'm pretty sure was only written in to show how weird this film is. I hope he was paid well for this farce. Ex-marine across the hall is looking at maps on a pool table while holding a baseball bat, there's guns and trophy heads on the wall. It's like someone searched for "manly man" and filled the apartment with everything that came up on google "I've stared death in the face" "what does it look like?" What a very important question. Seems like in the 80s people cared less about where their five year old little girls were, stranger danger and parental responsibility obviously weren't a thing back then. Marine man is now also a plant that spawns weird creatures. "Harry fell down, I just don't understand any of this." Listen hen as far as you know your son just fell down-simple as. It's the audience that don't really understand this weird fucking film! Parents keep talking about the girls "little friend" and its the dwarf from earlier-100% written in so the mum could offer a 30yr old dwarf a glass of chocolate milk. Dwarf is at dinner apparently so he can recite a poem from memory, because why else would your daughter invite a 30ish english professor to dinner? Weird plantspawn creatures in the other apartments are singing to the tune of the poem...because reasons. Old womans mushroom tree thing with eyes is joining in - I knew she was part of it! Their song lyrics seem in consist of random syllables but I'm sure I heard "ebola" in their somewhere... Old woman looks creeped out, like you had the weird mushroom thing in your living room what did you think would happen? Jr is watching tv in his bed where apparently everyones pets are being turned into 'Pod Person From The Planet Mars'. Is this trying to tell us the trolls are aliens...? Another breakfast scene filmed in evening lightening... I wonder how the mushroom feels having a lampshade dumped on it everytime someone visits this old woman "Why are you here?... You're different?... It's not normal?" Jr is a cheeky shit to this old woman and is forgetting whose house he is in, and who is the only friend he has so far. Old woman used to be a princess but is now a witch, ok why not I'm sure there's a reason for this somewhere Troll-wendy knocking on a door and womans like "I have to get changed, you can stay here if you want" like NO BITCH get that creepy girl out of your house! Another apartments occupant turned into plants-although giving birth to a humanlooking female instead of more trolls now. Mushroom has followed Jr and old woman to the kitchen, how? Did it hop in its plant pot? Can it walk? Bf comes to meet the last person turned to a plant - DONT TRUST HER SHE WAS BORN TWO MINUTES AGO FROM A PLANT! Chase through the jungle in the apartment and now they're outside and there's four women for some reason... Troll is there back to looking like a troll, sorry dude he has stole your girl! Wherever this girl goes people keep offering her juice to drink. The 80s was obviously more trusting of adults, and adults were more friendly to weird kids showing up on their doorstep. Trollwendy looks upset that the dwarf is going to die, like he hasnt been killing people randomly all week. Michael (dwarfs) story is giving a real normal insight into the struggle of someone born with dwarfism, completely unexpected from this film. Nope, trollwendy is over it and looks like Michaels getting turned into a plant now. Didn't think that seriousness would last long Old woman knocking on doors with a golden spear like she's gonna fight the whole close. I wonder what she'd say if one of her neighbours actually did answer? "its the weekend" "do you know what day they dropped the bomb on hiroshima?" "a weekend, maybe?" I wonder who the hell wrote that and what were they smoking at the time? Harry Sr says the woman upstairs is the wicked witch of the west, very nice to slag off your sons only friend right in front of him. Wasnt that when you let Jr go to hers for breakfast! Jr is repeating lines from his Pod People tv show and Sr asks if his wife did drugs? Like his weird behaviour couldnt come from your side of the family? Or from an uncaring and inconsiderate father and the whole family moving house? Golden spear actually shoots lightening at troll creatures, who knew? Plants are taking over the hallway but when Jr gets to old womans house he neglects to mention the impending doom and just has some hot chocolate. "Before there were countries there was just one place with humans and faries" So, pangea? I didn't know they had faries. Geography would've been a lot more interesting if they'd told us that. Old woman was in love with a prince, prince fought with the fairies against humans, humans won, prince got turned into the troll. Apparently by taking over the whole building its actually a fairy universe and will burst forth and troll will have taken over the world... I think that's what she's trying to say? Why conquer countries all you need is a shitty apartment block! Also real wendy is still alive because the troll wants her to be a fairy princess, six year old and evil thousands of year old troll, real creepy arranged marriage Troll only has three days to take over the building-he's doing quite good he only has two appartments left. Troll has "always been melodramatic" apparently. Nah I think it's this acting and weird plot that's all melodramatic. Old woman unpins her hair and suddenly she's 50 years younger, it's true-a new hairdo can make you look different. Jr says he's waiting for a stray dragon, Sr doesn't ask where he got the large golden spear from. Old woman is now a talking tree stump after facing the troll, and her appartment now leads outside too "What is going on out there?" "I dont know but I'm listening to the tree" wise words Sr, wise words Troll stabbed his own monster to save the six year old, because apparently he cant find another blonde girl to be his princess. Well that was lucky but very stupid of him Family are now moving again but this time they just have a suitcase each, no moving vans this time somehow? Also that was the quickest packing I've seen I think that's stupid anyway, what's the chances a troll is gonna try and take over that exact same building in the future? That buildings probably the safest one cause if he tries again it'll be somewhere different. Police man tells them where the station is to make a statement - but they're not being arrested and I'm not sure what crime they think has been comitted? Ok so I was wrong, the laundry room is still a jungle and troll is killing policeman. Maybe a good idea to move.

#me #personal #film #Troll #liveblog #review #very 80s

0 notes