#and a very consistent one is some level of ‘you gotta up the ante at some point or it’s going to fall flat.’

[hulloitsdani]

Gather round children it’s time for a Ted Talk about FEH and how I go about drawing these characters.

When making art for this game, I have found immense satisfaction in attempting to meet FEH on its level and remain fairly loyal to the Intelligence System’s approved content we have. This is remarkably challenging. For me, at least. I find this game’s design sensibilities run very counter to my own. That’s not a critique of any in game art of the characters (although I do think they improve greatly over time) as they fulfill their purpose really well. They are meant to be drawn 4 times max which means they can go pretty crazy on the details. But hahahaha I’m not doing that. Clearly. I’m drawing these guys by hand at different angles and posses fairly consistently, which is just not what they were built for. Don’t think when someone designed Kiran they thought of the person who’d be drawing them chilling ontop of a fridge with a bottle of mustard in their hand, you know?

So naturally I got to do some translating! And that’s the really fun part >:]

There are many things I had to find creative answers for, like Kiran’s face and Alfonse’s stupid haircut. But the one rotating rapidly in my brain atm is the Askr quartet in combat. I wanted lean hard into the fact that these four are, well, very human in comparison to every other combatant that enters Askr. They aren’t exactly helpless nor unskilled. If any of the trio raised their blade at Kiran, they’d start digging their own grave themselves. But the group are regular soldiers fighting against straight up warriors of legend. As individuals, Anna, Sharena, Alfonse, and Kiran are not that strong in comparison. No merges for these bitches they gotta work with what they got. However, they all know that. So they make up for their weaknesses through terrifyingly effective teamwork. Through the power of trauma bonding- I MEAN FRIENDSHIP they become a fucking terrifying force of nature. It’s like pissing off an ant hill or a wasps nest. A lancer goes for Alfonse and suddenly theres a swarm of five level 1 heroes making such a distraction that they don’t see Anna’s axe sweep through their Achilles heels or Sharena’s follow up shield bash.

So this means I get to convey their team composition through their body shapes and give them clear strengths and weakness for the others to cover. Which is just so god damn FUN. Like we all know Kiran is the squishiest of the squishy, so it’s really fun to show just HOW squishy they are through the immediate comparison Alfonse and Sharena. I gave those two sturdier square shapes, and thus making them shorter yet stocky. This makes it look like they could fucking launch Kiran’s bony ass to the moon and back. However, that’s on the condition that either of them could catch Kiran, as their tall slim build implies the lightweight speed they move with. Which is so!!!! Fun!!!! Aughhh big love. Kiran could literal use Sharena as cover to snipe enemies from. Meanwhile Anna and Alfonse are a bit ahead using reposition to let Anna provide swift dps without getting too beat up herself. And by reposition, I mean Alfonse using his shield as a jump pad to launch Anna at the enemy with. You know. Just bro things. Anna’s triangle shapes make her both just hearty and lean enough to pull it off, might as well go for it. Just make sure she’s properly supported and safe by the time the enemy phase rolls around you know?

And I swear, the combos just write themselves too. Like between Sharena and Alfonse, a poor soul gets caught in the worst version of ping pong as Alfonse captain America’s his shield between the two of them. Kiran could then use that same shield like Link does and surf out of enemy range, shooting at the enemy the whole way. It’s fun! These guys have the potential to really sync up during combat and be emblematic of their bonds with one another.

Example, Alfonse. Alfonse could TECHNICALLY be a stronger solo fighter if he ditched the shield. He has the constitution and skill to not actually need the extra protection, and if he decided to two hand his weapon (haha there’s a joke there) the damage he could do would be devastating. However, the shield isn’t for his protection, but to be better help to his closest friends. The shield isn’t taking as many hits for him as it is for Kiran and Anna, who can’t afford to carry shields without compromising their own effectiveness. Plus through creative (and probably not intentional) uses it helps better position them on the battlefield. It’s for THEM. The only time he’s going to stop using the shield is when they aren’t there fighting along side him.

Enter Líf.

He hasn’t had a shield for a long time now.

#These ideas have been living in my brain for too long they needed a way out #feh Ted Talk #Man I wish animating these characters wouldn’t be an actual living hell #I have so many brain animatics #fights against Líf and Thasir would be so INTERESTING with this in mind #He KNOWS their tricks #Fighting him would be TERRIFYING #feh #fire emblem heroes #kiran #alfonse #feh kiran #feh alfonse #feh summoner #feh anna #feh sharena

[containsxmultitudes]

You ever write something so spicy (not in the sexy way, necessarily, just like. It spices up some story bits) and suddenly you’re torn between you general self consciousness, and a sudden god complex about it. No middle ground.

Like yeah that slapped and now your story has more weight to it because of me. You’re welcome.

#like admittedly I’m overthinking it #but I spent so many hours on that response #and it instantly added weight to the whole thing #like without question #and my god complex is like ‘y’all needed me this time.’ #but realistically I’m also trying to be humble #but like I spiced some shit up in my other writing group and I think I should say it #ADD ON: like I do a pretty decent amount of reading books on story structure and what makes one good #and a very consistent one is some level of ‘you gotta up the ante at some point or it’s going to fall flat.’ #like it doesn’t have to be life or death shit every time #but ur fave romance tropes don’t hold as much satisfaction if there wasn’t a chance they wouldn’t come to fruition beforehand #also writing a story involves keeping promises #kind of like a chekov’s gun #if you put something there #and you put a possible result there #eventually the gun has to go off #or you have failed to keep your promise and now the story doesn’t feel satisfying because you left a big huge gun untouched #despite the fact that you made a deal out of the gun to begin with #I set off the chekov’s gun in a significant way #and I’m proud of myself #outofscars

[linzerj]

Golden Gate’s Heroes -c2

Yo so i finally finished part 2! Sorry it took so long but the dialogue really threw me off and i’m still not sure i’m happy with it. also I’m bad at writing and updating consistently so. uh. yeah please don’t get your hopes up for a speedy update i’m sorry. also sorry about the lack of venom i really just gotta rewatch the movies when i get the chance 

So after that first awkward babysitting thing where they discovered ‘oh hey you have a secret identity I have a secret identity too’, Eddie and Scott met up a grand total of three times. Two of those times were just Eddie babysitting Cassie again, because Cassie really liked him and Venom and they weren’t going to say no to that adorable kid. The first of those times was really just Eddie and Cassie hanging out again, this time at Eddie’s much-less-nice apartment. They did arts and crafts while Cassie asked Venom questions about themself, and throughout the evening Venom slowly acquired more and more glittery cut-out crowns and ribbons. They looked absolutely ridiculous, but it made Cassie happy and Eddie thought it was cute, and so they tolerated the decorations.

The second time, Scott actually invited Eddie out to dinner with him and Cassie after babysitting. It was a bit awkward, but as Eddie recalled stories from his time on The Eddie Brock Show and Scott told him stories about life before and after prison, they found more and more common ground. By the end of it, they weren’t best friends per say, but a lot of the awkwardness and tension had definitely faded down.

The third time they met up, Cassie was still there because she was great at keeping them from being too awkward and weird, but Eddie met them at Pier 39. It was just a casual time hanging out, really, but as they talked in hushed tones about Scott’s experiences as Ant-Man and how Eddie and Venom were still learning to be a functional ‘we’, Eddie figured he would definitely call Scott a friend.

Which was definitely a good thing, given his only other friends were Anne and Dan, and while they were great it was still weird to hang out with his ex-fiancée and her super nice doctor boyfriend sometimes.

Eddie figured he should introduce Scott and Cassie to Anne and Dan sometime. They’d be so proud that he had managed to make new friends, even if one of them was still only a kid who liked giving Venom flower crowns.

But first, he apparently had to meet Scott’s new girlfriend and her parents, the people who gave Scott the Ant-Man suit.

“Dude come on,” Scott was saying. This was now the fourth time they were talking face-to-face, once again after Eddie had babysat Cassie. “They’re super nice, I swear.”

“Man, I still…we still don’t know.” Eddie sighed, scrubbing his face.

“Cassie will be there if that helps, my dude.”

“I mean.” Eddie made a vague gesture. “I guess? But still.”

“Is this about not wanting to make a bad first impression, because believe me, they won’t care that much. I mean they still like me, so.”

Eddie just leveled an unimpressed look at Scott, to which Scott shrugged. “Alright so I may have also mentioned you once or twice to Hope and Hank and Jan and now they really want to meet you.”

“Dude you are the worst. Just give it a bit longer, okay?”

And the conversation effectively ended, at least for a while.

---

As much as Eddie was trying to avoid other superheroes or people who might want to tear them apart, neither he nor Venom were going to say no to Cassie’s birthday party.

We’re going to get cornered here you idiot, Venom was hissing into Eddie’s brain.

“Yeah but it’s Cassie you asshole. You really gonna say no to her?”

…no…

“So we’re sucking it up and finally doing this,” Eddie said, knocking on the door to Scott’s place. They were immediately greeted by their grinning friend.

“Hey, you made it! Cool cool, c’mon in!”

And it was normal, for a bit. Scott’s ex and her new boyfriend reminded Eddie of Anne and Dan a bit, but they didn’t pry about anything – either because they didn’t know or didn’t care. Eddie didn’t know which it was but was grateful either way.

He tried to distract himself with cake (lots of cake, chocolate cake, the best kind of cake, especially if you asked Vee), but was more than well aware of a man and two women watching with mixed looks of curiosity and anxiety from another corner of the room. They were distracted enough by Cassie too, but as the party began to wind down, guests left, and Cassie’s mom took her home, Eddie was left with Scott and the staring trio.

“Well,” Eddie said, directed mostly to Scott, “this was great, thanks for the invite, I’ll just get out of your hair now—“

“Actually, we’ve been waiting to talk to you,” the younger of the two women said, and Eddie groaned internally. He could feel Venom stirring beneath his skin, curious but also ready to protect them if needed.

“Uh, Eddie, that’s my girlfriend Hope, and her parents Hank and Janet,” Scott interjected, seeming as nervous as Eddie felt. “Guys, this is Eddie.”

“Brock, yeah,” Hank said. “Nice work taking down Drake. I knew there was something fishy going on with him but we were a bit distracted during that whole fiasco of yours.”

“Uh, thanks?” Eddie was fairly certain that was not the correct response, but it got a chuckle out of Janet, so that was fine, he supposed.

“But there is the issue of you having been – fused, or bonded, or whatever, with one of those alien symbiotes Drake was experimenting on,” Hope stated, and next to her Scott bit his lip. “The reports you gave after the incident state that you lost it, or it burned in the explosion, but there have been some reports of a large dark figure throughout the city since then – one that occasionally eats its targets. And then Scott told us about you starting to babysit for Cassie, and at the same time he started showing reluctance over tracking down the giant maneating creature. So, anything to add, Mr. Brock?”

“Hope I told you to go easy on him,” Scott muttered as Eddie blinked, and Janet rolled her eyes.

“She takes after her dad,” she said, and Hank looked affronted. But, still.

They know, Venom was hissing in his head, but their emotions were confused, unsure of if they should trust Scott’s friends, or if they should just eat them all.

Not really, Eddie thought back. From what she said, Scott never said anything specific, they all just put the pieces together on their own, and he’s trying to make everything better for us.

Hm. Cassie may like them, and Scott is okay, but still. Don’t know about what they want.

Yeah, well, let’s see, shall we? Out loud, he asked, “What if what I said isn’t true?”

“Well, legally speaking, you’d fall under the Sokovia Accords, like my daughter and this idiot here,” Hank said. Eddie was a bit offended on Scott’s behalf at the idiot comment. “If that alien is still bonded to you, you’d count as an enhanced individual, and if you were going out fighting crime and whatnot on your own, you’d be in direct violation of the Accords.”

“That’s fair. The Accords were put into place with the intention of protecting the general public, even if the first draft was rushed and had lots of loopholes that could be exploited. The current version is more sound and willing to work with the individuals who work under it. But it also requires that anyone who signs the Accords be drafted as an official Avengers member, which, y’know, some people might want to help, but they might not want to be in the spotlight like that, and just stick to what they’re doing.” This, Eddie could do. He was a reporter, after all; he’d covered the story of the original Accords, and the little ‘civil war’ that had followed it. He’d read the documents when they first came out, even if he’d had to have Anne explain the finer points and legalese to him back then. And then with Venom, he’d read the newest draft.

It wasn’t a bad thing, certainly, but they had agreed that they didn’t want to be part of the Avengers. They weren’t cut out for big-time heroics like that, and such a spotlight would make their occasional diet of humans even harder to hide, or justify.

But. Scott had proven he was willing to overlook that stuff after Eddie and Vee had explained that it was an essential part of their diet, their survival. And these people were still involved with ironing out the Accords, and could probably put in a good word on their behalf if they were nice and cooperated. But that was a risk they weren’t sure they were willing to take, at least not yet.

Janet interrupted their thoughts. “That’s why we’re working with Tony and the Accords Panel to add more amendments for people like that. We are also trying to include people who maybe go a bit too far with their vigilantism, who have killed to protect others. Right now the Accords Panel doesn’t think those types of people should be allowed unless they change completely, stop killing altogether, but even the original Avengers members had killed – look at the Black Widow and Hawkeye, for example. They both had impressive kill counts working for SHIELD, and the Widow, at least, has continued to use lethal force since joining the Avengers.”

“She’s an outlier though, Jan, we talked about that,” Hank cut in. “She’s a Russian assassin-“

“What does her being Russian have to do with anything, Hank, don’t let old grudges cloud your judgment we’ve talked about this-“

“Anyway,” Hope said, rolling her eyes at her parents, “The earlier you join, the more … uh, forgiving the Accords Panel will be about any … less than savory things you may or may not have done while trying to protect the planet, the town, your loved ones, or just yourself.”

“That’s still assuming I have the alien, though,” Eddie pointed out, trying not to laugh. Venom was snickering in the back of his mind, swirling around his body, and very much enjoying this game of cat and mouse.

Scott was looking between everyone with nervous eyes. Hank was just staring at Eddie with a kind of blank expression of disbelief; Janet was smiling conspiratorially; and Hope rolled her eyes with a huff. “Yeah, of course.”

“When you assume you make an ass out of you and me,” Scott blurted, and that, at least, earned a chuckle from Hank.

“Scott,” Hope started, but Eddie cut her off.

“Well, look, I’d love to continue this chat, but I actually have stuff to do for my job, so…”

“Yeah, man, let me show you out,” Scott said, clapping Eddie on the back and steering him toward the door. “Sorry about them,” he said in a lower, quieter tone. “I didn’t say anything but they can put two and two together and they can also be super persistent.”

“It’s fine,” Eddie said, even though it didn’t really feel fine. “It was probably going to happen sooner or later anyway. Talk to you later, man.” And Eddie and Venom made their escape.

--

It was another few weeks until Eddie and Venom saw Hope van Dyne again. They hadn’t forgotten about the conversation with her and her family, per say, just… been sufficiently distracted to let it fall to the wayside.

But having Scott walk in with Hope at the end of a day of babysitting Cassie was, well. Unexpected, to say the least. Venom, who had been providing helpful commentary to Cassie as she colored and was wearing no less than 3 flower crowns, made an attempt to duck back into Eddie before being spotted, but it was too little too late.

Hope, for her part, just leveled an unimpressed and expectant stare at Eddie, who just grinned sheepishly back. Scott, bless his innocent self, took one look at both of them and then ignored them in favor of flopping onto the floor next to Cassie and admiring her drawings. Cassie just tossed one of the dropped flower crowns at Eddie and giggled when it landed on his shoulder.

“We, uh, I… can explain?” Eddie said. Scott just shook his head.

“No you can’t.”

“Yeah no I probably can’t.”

“To be fair, I knew from the minute Scott started slipping up that something was amiss,” Hope said, “but you acting a bit weird at Cassie’s party was what really gave it away.”

“So, uh, are you gonna arrest us or something, then? Cuz like, you probably… don’t wanna do that.”

“No, you’re fine,” Hope said. “Although you probably don’t believe that, and I can understand why. But, look, if Scott trusts you, I’m willing to give you a chance.”

Everyone else blinked. “Really?” Scott asked, lighting up like a Christmas tree. “Aw, Hope! You’re the best!”

“And you’re adorable, Scott. Anyway,” Hope continued, turning back to face Eddie, “you and your alien friend or whatever should very much consider reading and signing these.” And with a flash, a huge stack of papers materialized – no, grew – in front of them.

“The freaking Accords?” Eddie snorted. “Dude, I have read them-“

“I’m aware, it’s a legal thing, your ex is a lawyer so I’m sure you understand.”

Eddie made a disgruntled sound. “We really don’t want to be an Avenger,” he said finally.

“Aw, but you guys are a hero!” Cassie piped up, finally tuning back in to the adult conversation. Eddie flashed her a grateful smile, and because they adore Cassie, Venom poked a small head out from Eddie’s shoulder to give her a toothy grin.

Scott gave them an encouraging thumbs up from next to Cassie, and even Hope looked – bemused, perhaps, at all of this. But, still. “We have, uh. Y’know.”

“Eaten people? Yeah, you’re the new local cryptid,” Hope said. “But as has been said, plenty of the Avengers have killed for one reason or another. Whatever, people will deal with it. Also, if you do sign, it’s not like you’re going to be required to move back to NYC or anything – look at Scott and myself, we’re still here.”

“Yeah but they probably will make him go out for an orientation or initiation or whatever they called it,” Scott piped up.

Eddie, Vee said into Eddie’s brain, we know we are reluctant, but also… we should give it a try. We could be better than ever! And we can meet many other superheroes too, get more friends. Eat them if they try to hurt us.

Eddie sighed. “We’ll think about it and get back to you, okay? That’s all I can promise right now.”

---

It wasn’t even a week before Eddie was giving Hope and Scott their signed copy of the Accords.

#venom #ant man #ant man and the wasp #eddie brock #scott lang #marvel #mcu #cassie lang #hope van dyne #hank pym #janet van dyne #fanfiction #my writing

[mars-the-red]

Circles, chapter 2

fandom: Time Tunnel

Synopsis: Tony arrives back at Project Tic-Toc 10 years too soon, emotions ensue.

I’m tagging @effulgentpoet because she was kind enough to read the first part and just in case she wants to read the next bit; no pressure tho darling

Tony was bundled into the jeep by a still-wary Jiggs, and deposited in Medical, where he found himself unceremoniously stripped of every last stitch of clothing and sat in a gown on a paper sheet while a parade of personnel took readings of everything from the amount of potassium in his blood to how many fillings he had in his mouth. They all wore face masks and gloves. Tony recognized a few of them, but none of them recognized him.

“Where’s Doug?” he demanded, of every single nurse and doctor who took their particular toll. He got a few looks of sympathy, but one of Jiggs’s men, hand-picked to guard Tony while he was poked and prodded, warned them off of talking with a very pointed shake of his head.

“Containment protocol,” Jiggs reminded Doug, who was waiting with ever-thinning patience to speak with their guest. “You wrote half of these measures yourself. No contamination or cross-pollination of the Project. Tic-Toc Base is hallowed ground.”

“Sacrosanct, I think I said,” Doug replied. He looked up at the monitor showing the security feed of the Medical area. “It made sense at the time.”

“It makes sense now,” Jiggs said. “Anyway, I still think it’s a fairy story. Even if there is a Newman at MIT, he’s probably a shell. They would have done their homework.”

Doug grunted in reply. Maybe so, but the only way to uncover the truth would be by talking to this man. He paced a few steps, drifting along the corridor wall without really seeing it.

“Security should handle the interview,” Jiggs said.

Doug turned on his heel. “I’ll handle the interview.”

“Dr. Phillips, you’re too important to this project to put you in a room with an unverified, uncleared unknown.”

Doug pulled one hand from his pocket, held his palm to Jiggs. “He’s not going to convince any of you. I’m going to let him try to convince me. If he is who he says he is, don’t we owe him that?”

Jiggs was fingering the gun on his belt. “You numbers types are going to be the death of me.”

“We’ll try not to be.” Doug resumed his pacing.

* * *

Two hours later, the protocol shifted from discovery to maintenance. The head physician on duty called the canteen for a meal to be delivered to Medical, and Doug, who apparently ranked lower than a plate of chicken and rice, was admitted soon after.

They had put Tony in the suite for containing troublesome patients, with the minimum security of locks, not the plastic-draped and hermetically sealed suite for containing rampaging pathogens. It was a small, minimally furnished room, white tile floor and walls, bright lights, with a cot, chair, and table, where the aforementioned meal had been deposited and ignored.

Tony, wearing a pair of white scrubs, was seated at the table, head in his hands.

Security unlocked the door and held it open. Doug stepped through and it swung closed behind him, with more of a medical swoosh than a jailhouse clang. The lock turned heavily.

“I’m not your guinea pig,” Tony snapped, as soon as Doug came into the room. He picked up his head and glared. The prisoner treatment had keyed him up again. At least, after the decon shower they had forced on him, he felt cleaner than he had in weeks.

“Medical needed to check you’re not a threat to anyone on base.”

“They took a whole unit of blood. What are they checking for, vampirism?” It had made him a little light-headed, so he was perched at the table, rigidly aware of how alone he was. He wasn’t sure he could stand up to go toe to toe with Doug.

“I’m sorry. Why don’t you finish your food?”

Tony shoved the plate away from him. “I’m not hungry.”

“Come on. You’ve gotta be.”

Tony knew that tone. That sensible, friendly, I’m-just-looking-out-for-you reasonableness that Doug could suffocate you with. Tony looked down at his plate of dry chicken, salad, and rice and made a face.

Doug followed his look. “The canteen aren’t miracle workers, but it’s not that bad.”  

“Then you eat it,” Tony said.

Doug set a blue folder on the table, then swung into the chair across from him and swiped a cherry tomato off Tony’s plate. “I’m hungry, too. You know I was just heading to dinner when you showed up?”

“Sorry to spoil you plans.”

“This is a lot more interesting.” Doug bit into the tomato. It was mushy. He tried to hide the grimace. He removed a notebook and pencil from his breast pocket, flipped to a new page, and set it in front of him. “Take me through it again. Name, rank, serial number. Anything, everything we can use to corroborate this story.”

Tony did. Haltingly at first, then picking up speed. It had happened fast for him. The chair of the department calling him into his office, the interviews with bland polite men in suits. Becky had fallen away during the next few months of intense work on that fateful paper and then, out of nowhere, an invitation to defend it as his dissertation.

Doug had been there. A “special invite” to sit on the dissertation board. Tony hadn’t known who he was. He kept that to himself.

It was a rainy day in early April. They started at eight a.m. Tony drew figures and charts and chains of equations until an entire pack of chalk had turned to dust in his fingertips. The questions kept coming. By the end of the gauntlet the street lights had come on outside and he barely knew his own name, until his adviser shook his hand and said “Congratulations, Doctor Newman.”

Doug sent him home to pack. The next day they touched down in the middle of Nowhere, Arizona, under a blue sky full of brilliant sun. Tony hadn’t thought or breathed anything else since.

He knew staffing levels, layouts, equipment, even the make and model of the coffee machines in the control center. Some of the things he described were still on Doug’s wish list, to be wrangled over in endless committee meetings in DC. Some were already in play. Tony answered every question Doug lobbed at him for an hour and a half, trying to place him both in the present and the future, and at the end of it, Doug had heard enough. He was a believer.

Then it was Doug’s turn for show and tell. The test results had all come back; Doug opened the blue folder. The subject was in overall good health, with nutritional deficiencies consistent with some months of deprivation. Slight dehydration, several superficial injuries, and no marks of biological contamination.

“Do you know where the radiological contamination came from?” Doug asked, leafing through the reports. That was the only caveat on Tony’s charts, with a low impact rating.

Tony looked up at him and calculated. The radiation bath hadn’t been conceived yet.

“No,” Tony said. “Must be a by-product.”

Doug caught his hesitation. He held Tony’s eyes for a half-second too long before he finally smiled. “Well, it’s not a threat to you or anyone on station. Good news, Medical can’t see any reason to confine you here.”

Tony was regretting not eating when he had the chance. He was light-headed again. “So now what? You’ll turn me over to Security for their go?”

“No. Come with me.”

* * *

Security stood aside as Dr. Phillips escorted his guest out. Tony took the lead, subtly, guiding them out of Medical and toward the central tower space, the Atrium. He knew these corridors like the back of his hand. He sensed Doug watching his every step, and he saw the guards raise their hand to their ear pieces as he entered their range. He kept his chin held high.

Tony had no codes, no access badges, no biometrics on file, so Doug stepped up to the armored door to the Atrium. He swiped his badge, then turned his eyes to the iris scanner mounted unobtrusively in the terminal.

The doors slid open. Tony stepped out onto the footbridge, veered to the rail, and stopped dead.

The Atrium smelled of fresh paint and hot metal, sawn-off lumber and floor wax. Half of it was still under construction, hung with plastic and scaffolding.

Impossible to ignore, the pulsing, breathing power core was alive with electricity, writhing with nuclear reaction and shunted neutrons. It drew Tony’s whole attention, it drew him to lean over the railing and bathe in its mad refracting light.

Seven years ago, first laying eyes on it, it was the most beautiful thing Tony had ever seen. And in that moment, suspended above its unimaginable power, all the doubts Tony had ever had about his own sanity, his abilities, humankind’s striving against the seemingly unassailable wall of the universe and its laws, had vanished. He knew they could do anything. It was the engine of all their dreams.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Doug asked.

Tony could only nod.

The staffing complexes were still under construction, falling down into the gloom below. Tiny lights, like illuminated ants, were busy some five hundred floors below them, as construction crews dug deeper into the Arizona plate and carved out space for more offices, more laboratories, more libraries, more minds to strive toward this one inconceivable goal.

Tony finally pried himself away. A wave of dizziness crested, then subsided, as he pushed off the railing. “Where are we going?”

“My office.”

Doug’s office was a suite just above the control room. Doug waved him in and followed.

Tony took a breath. The paint smelled sharp and fresh here, too.

The outer room, where Doug had his desk, bookshelves, and seating area, also had a bank of windows overlooking the control floor. His desk was arranged to face them, and the Tunnel was dead center.

Eyes on the prize, Doug used to say.

Goodbye, work-life balance, Tony had thought then.

He thought it now, too. Doug’s office was functional. It was efficient. The furniture was new, with clean lines. Bleeding-edge design in bright woods and angles. Doug’s desk was a nod to his position; lots of drawers, and a desk top with a larger square footage than Tony’s dorm room. Files, always neatly stacked and sorted when Doug could help it . Cabinets full of identical manila folders.

Then as now, Tony was struck by how spartan it was. No pictures, no photographs, no cool rocks Doug had picked up on a whim while out hiking. A rack of plants were oxygenating the room from under a grow light, but they had no personality; Doug had let one of his assistants choose them.

Several diplomas in identical frames were hung behind his desk, but they only gave the who, what, where, when of Doug’s education. No context.

The bookshelves held a hint of life; Don Quixote in several editions, HG Wells, and Conan Doyle, plus a fair spread of the Western canon. Theory featured heavily, and Tony, who had never been much for reading when he could be doing, had once gotten the grand tour. Mathematicians, of course, and philosophers, and historians. And mathematicians playing philosopher, and philosophers playing historian. A busy little section on astronomy that served as a lending library of sorts; Tic Toc Base was situated under some of the darkest skies left in North America, and there were plenty of amateur and professional astronomers in their ranks. Doug had an antique telescope in a leather case propped in the corner. His father’s name was embossed on the strap.

Apart from the bookshelves, the only truly personal touch was the ring on Doug’s small finger, a souvenir from his very brief stint in the Army. He said the brass in Washington liked to see it; but he wore it all the time, so Tony figured that time in the forces was still important to Doug, even when he went back to civilian life.

Tony was familiar with all this. He had stood in this office - and sat, and eaten, and slept - a hundred times. But today he looked around with fresh eyes. Doug had been this obsessed, this driven, this… singular… from the very first days.

Tony looked at the Doug standing beside him. Doug was about his age, Tony realized with a burst of shock. No lines, no gray in his hair, a touch more trim, with basic training not so many years behind. More youthful, physically, but the same eternal, slightly estranged soul.

Tony tilted his head when he realized Doug was staring back at him. “What?”

“I keep thinking I might recognize you,” Doug admitted. “If I just look hard enough.”

“You won’t. We haven’t met yet.” Tony’s brain had finally absorbed that. It had a rather chilling effect: for all he thought knew about this place and these people, they were strangers. He was in a strange land.

And if he wasn’t careful, the Doug Phillips he would come to know, the project he had given his life to see complete, might become something else. The complexity of his situation, and the care he needed to take here, were beginning to sink in.

Tony knew he had gone unfriendly and cold. But perhaps that was for the best. He needed the space in his own head to think things through.

Doug, if he noticed the shift in tone, decided not to comment on it. He directed Tony’s attention to the windows.

“How long until we complete it?” Doug asked.

Tony followed his gaze. The mouth of the Tunnel was still rough, natural rock, shrouded in ghostly plastic sheeting and thick, snaking bundles of cords criss-crossed the control floor. They hadn’t gotten the final design and circuitry completed until 1964. That was six years from now.

“Soon,” Tony said.

Doug looked sidelong. “Soon?”

“That’s all I can say.”

Doug gazed out across the control room. “These last few months... we’ve hit a wall.” 

Tony crossed his arms and remained silent.

“Newman,” Doug said, and Tony barely recognized it as his own name, coming from Doug’s lips like that, “Will you help us?”

#fic: circles #the time tunnel #excuse the un-beta'd mess

[plussixtytwo]

The one with crocodile meat and deep-fried tarantula

I’ve always wanted to travel alone for my birthday and I decided to make that happen when I turned 25. I chose to visit Thailand and Cambodia since both are extremely exotic, diverse, and have some delicacies that I’m super excited to try. Besides, an exotic guy needs exotic destinations. *wink wink

 Chatuchak Night Market

The plan in Thailand is to explore nothing but food. I asked the hostel receptionist about their famous night markets and she directed me to go to Chatuchak weekend market. I had a yummy bowl of Tom Yum Goong, followed by mango salad, sea foods, bugs, and scorpion skewer (I’m not kidding). I didn’t normally eat that much to the point I was bloated, but you gotta do it when you’re in Bangkok, right?  

The next day, I went to the Train Night Market and made friends with a German girl who thought I was a local. We both then explored the market, bought some stuff, and tried some crocodile meat. It tasted like pork but just more chewy. We ended up eating sea foods - like the one in Chatuchak was not enough - and mango sticky rice while trying to understand Thai songs they played out loud on broken speakers.

Scorpions at Train Night Market

I managed to see some old friends in Bangkok and they took me to Ayutthaya, a historical city located north of Bangkok. Ayutthaya is such a bae and everything about it very much feeds my old soul. This archaeological gem features ruins from the Siamese kingdoms and its cultural value attracts travelers to do a day trip from Bangkok. We visited some temples and I personally was blown away with the beautiful ruins and the rich history behind them. The most popular attractions include Wat Phra Mahathat, a large stone Buddha head set in a colossal and deep-rooted tree. We finished the trip with another Thai food galore in a restaurant overlooking Ayutthaya river.

The stone Buddha head set in a deep-rooted tree in Ayutthaya  

Before flying to Cambodia, I managed to explore the city a bit more. I went to Wat Arun and The Grand Palace only to find that those places were swamped by tourists. You know that “A huge wave of zombies is approaching” phrase from Plants vs Zombies game? That’s exactly how I felt about the whole situation. I just didn’t feel like getting squeezed by the crowd so I decided to just walk around and ended up at a cute coffee shop. 

CAMBODIA

I landed in Siem Reap in the middle of the day and my friend, Syiqin, picked me up with our personal tuk tuk driver. We stayed at this up-and-coming hostel which was only 5 minutes walk from the lively Pub Street.

Pub street is where all the fun at. From cheap Cambodian snack stalls and fancy restaurants to clubs blasting reggaeton and local selling extraordinary Khmer delicacies. Few minutes walk from the street was this little restaurant called Bug Cafe where you could taste various cooked bugs, including tarantula - next level exotic. Though you can find these roadside on carts and at street food markets, for something this unappetizing, I opted to visit a proper restaurant to try it.  

Pub Street

I ordered their small platter which consisted of bugs salad, bugs skewers, fried tarantula, fried silkworms, and ant spring rolls. The spring rolls barely tasted like ants, the skewers were just alright and tasted like, well, bugs, as well as the salad. The silk worms were disgusting, but the tarantula indeed tasted slightly better than the others. It was probably the dough because the tarantula itself tasted rather bland. A few people had mentioned that it really looked and tasted remarkably like soft shell crab. When you tear off a leg you’ll notice a flaky whitish meat inside which is very similar to crab but the taste is nothing like it, at least for me.

I didn’t finish all of them but it was indeed a once in a lifetime experience. Did I regret spending 15 bucks for a small platter of bugs? Nope! I didn’t plan to do it again anyway, so it was totally worth it.

We explored Angkor Wat the next day and managed to catch the sunrise. We had to leave at 4 in the morning and queue for the ticket, at goddamn 4 in the morning! As if I didn’t stress that enough, they had to take our pictures for the ticket. 

Angkor Wat is massive and we’re told to spend 3 days to actually explore the whole area at a reasonable pace. Since we didn’t have much time, and were also on a budget, we squeezed the 3 days adventure to just a day, needless to say, we couldn’t really feel our legs after hours of walking and hiking under the intense heat and dry air of Cambodia.

Sunrise at Angkor Wat

I’ve got a pleasant surprise when we’re just walking around the Bayon temple. I bumped into this guy that I met in Colombia back in 2016 when both of us were participants for a Spanish Course. We didn’t really talk to each other during the program but we just kinda knew each other. It took me a while to recognize him and he was as well giving me “man, I know you but who are you” kinda look. We both later greeted each other and talked for a moment. 

The last temple we visited was Ta Prohm, which was featured in Tomb Raider. I took a decent picture with the trees that overgrown and covered the temple. I didn’t stay long because it was packed with lots of tourists and I was just too tired with all the hikes. We went back to our hotel and took a well deserved nap and later went to Pub street for dinner and shopping. 

My heart was full when I left Cambodia. Though I live in a country that has Borobudur, I really don’t think that there is another country in the world with the ancient temples as amazing as Angkor Wat. Plus, I found the people here are extremely nice and genuine. It’s not as cheap as I thought probably because of the imposition of the dollar, but still affordable and I definitely recommend you to visit the beautiful country. I mean, Angelina Jolie comes here often and even Beyonce, so what else can I say?

#thailand #bangkok #night market #chatuchak #wat arun #ayuthaya #food #asia #cambodia #angkor wat #bug cafe #siem reap #tarantula #south east asia #travel #indonesian traveler

[clarakrypt]

Ayahuasca in Miami

Intrigued by the Grandmother Plant. It called to me for about 3 years, by called I literally was surrounded by the topic at the weirdest moments. It called my attention, realizing...processing.  It was destined  for me, Not knowing much about the plant I got on doing my research. I originally thought I would travel to Colombia for my first ceremony; I wanted to be as close to my roots as I could. I never really grew up knowing much about my family as whole so the opportunity to advance in this medicine in this foreign land I thought would awaken levels of my inner being that I am distant from. Luckily thanks to a friend who introduced to a medicine family in Miami (Where I currently reside) I was able to gather contacts and knew there was a couple of ceremonies that were on their way. Both ceremonies where going to be hosted by tribes from separate places. I chose the Colombian ceremony over the Brazilian ceremony for obvious reasons. I was so excited to know that I was in tune with my real desires enough to bring Colombia to here!! but on the other hand so beyond nervous as I as unsure which face the medicine was about to show me as it is a very unpredictable plant. 

After having anxiety about it for a week a pretty much YouTubing peoples experiences. Finally the day arrived!! And I had thunderstorms all the way there to electrifying me. as I arived, The Rain stops. As I look up there happens to be a beautiful rainbow right over us and our circle. One word, Magical. Drove there not knowing one single person besides the organizer and I as so lucky to be able to immediately fall into place with two beings that magnetically were pulled to me. Falling Into place, you gotta love natural selection. We sandwiched  ourselves together in circle and prepared.

As the ceremony begins the shaman comes up and begins to share his stories with us on the sacred plant and its roots. We were instructed to stop all eating and drinking, our cell phones were collected. We invited the medicine in with instruments,  Rapé, and tobacco. As each person rose up to receive the blessing on the shaman our journey begins with the first ingestion of medicine. my first thoughts 10 minutes into the experience, was wow I can do this. Feels like waves of energy hitting your body, You feel yourself opening, As I look around- we hadn't turned into animals yet, and everyone seemed like they were still grounded to earth. Two hours of meditation and admiration of the night sky and earth around me, the time came for a second round. I knew I was about to experience something further,  although I felt still, I could feel my inner body working sifting through every strand that holds my body together. The Blessings come down and in goes grandmother. I want to say it took me about 15 minutes and at the purging graves I stood. It all started to come right up. I really dislike throwing up, but it was necessary I knew I was here for this. The shaman Danced around the circle with his instruments he tuned us with the frequencies of his magical flute and as I looked around I felt as if I was not seeing stars and trees but the grid started to show and I was at awe at seeing the stars and how they all connect like a web securing us and protecting us. I chose to sit under the biggest tree in our circle, specifically on the roots as I felt naturally pulled there. Trees are a familiar force to me and as I stared at the trees the geometrical alignments of each leaf was enough to capture me for quite some time. With every second that passed the leaf transformed itself into a new hue and shape and then I realized this how Mother Nature works. For the first time my eyes were naked.. Seeing the way the grid works together, Our Biggest misconception I feel is the thought that humans are superior to this force but really we are but ants that infest this planet. This force that we neglect actually controls everything around us, our very own existence relies on this grid system.  After each cup we are given about 2 hours or so to sit and heal as we need to. After the Second cup it took maybe about 10 minutes before normal became a trip and a half it was like a gust of wind ran straight through me and all of a sudden I was un blinded. The bodily feels for me consisted of a fast vibration running straight through my body mixed with a euphoric sensation similar to that of straight ecstasy. Every breathe in and out is a sensation, every touch feels as if your physical body has melted and you are completely raw. The visuals are almost close to an acid trip except acid doesn't take you to tHIS specific spiritual Realm. Once I calmed from my bodily feels and the intense high vibration of everything I looked around and realized how many people were actually being healed and going through their own intense journey. I think my nervousness originally stemmed from a place of fear due to lots of past trauma that I have experienced a young girl and so forth . I was unsure if those experiences would somehow come out in this ceremony but Once I was in the feels and heavy in the medicine all I felt was joy, joy be out of my body for a few and as people around me started emptying out their demons and entities I felt called to assisting their healing. I always knew I was meant for it and something told me I had been doing this for many lives before. Such a familiar feeling, And it was honor to assist in this ceremony, I felt so incredibly connected to all who were suffering immediately wanting to Alleviate these souls. A ceremony that introduced me to my purpose. The shamans allowed me to assist as if they too had known me and were waiting for me to reach my potential through this medicine.  A healer must heal them selves first before they can take on the pain of others and that is Gold to a shaman. The Shaman states that two cups could be enough ad to take it as it comes but I felt called to take it deeper and as the 3rd cup came in all of reality melted and I was just swimming in pools of information, visuals and past life memories. I could have taken a fourth, I felt Great! I felt as if I was soaring with all of power that was running through me. The healing going on around me was on another level and to the fire we decided to retrieve. Singing, hugging, playing instruments and letting go. 

and as the sun rose we welcomed it. Thanking the food, thanking each other and thanking the water. I left this place with a family, a family who understood this mission we were on. We are so incredibly lucky, lucky to have experienced this together. Lucky to have been blessed with the opportunity, the calling for a greater purpose, and only we knew what we had gone through and survived together in this raw jungle. Our next mission was to then leave the spiritual world and to intergrade back into the material, and the true test is to carry the medicine with you in this world of sin. People will repel, people will fear but  push forward in time they will to be there with you through you planting seeds. It’s been about month or so and I still keep in touch with the friends I made and the people who healed with me, and I have never met a group of people so down to earth and in touch with their hearts and emotions. such deep care instilled in these souls. I am eternally grateful.  For anyone who has deeper questions, ask me! I would love to answer all of your questions. In all sincerity ayahuasca was mystical and the tuning you receive is unmatched and celestial. Do not fear if it calls to you welcome it :) we are here for advancement and human connection. Let go of the fears, you never know where you will travel and how your life will change based on this decision to embrace your spiritual self.

#ayahuasca #plantmedicine #rainbowpower #miami #healing

[musicallysublime-blog]

I’m Alive

So I’ve taken a short break, but I finally feel ready to come back on a somewhat “regular” schedule. For this post, I’m going to be talking about Atmosphere’s latest album titled Mi Vida Local. Atmosphere consists of rapper Slug (Sean Daley) and DJ Ant (Anthony Davis). I previously did a post about them click here to check it out. This album marked their ninth studio album and was released on October 5th, 2018. This post is going to be a little bit different, in that I am also going to mention their live show that I attended in the beautiful city of Ventura California on February 12th, 2019.  This post is also different because I go into some detail about my personal life. I usually try to stick to just the music, but sometimes music is so powerful that it can take over and bring forth all the emotions. Considering the start of this year, yeah it was easy for me to connect with nearly every song on this album. Thanks for joining me on this musical journey. I hope you enjoy the read.

Now, this album was released in 2018, but my personal relationship was in a much happier place. So while I did listen to the album when it came out; the meaning to me had not hit me quite yet. As soon as the tour info was released I bought my ticket and had planned to make it a couples trip. Fast forward to the New Year, finding myself newly single and feeling heartbroken. My birthday came and my son surprised me with the vinyl, which I was beyond excited for. I opened it and quickly played it and that's when I realized it was all meant to be. The songs, the whole album really meant so much more to me.

My relationship ended in a way that I wasn't necessarily ready for. I know, how is one ever really ready for a relationship to end right? Sometimes both parties can feel each other out and you kind of know that the relationship has run its course. I was not on that page and to put it plainly I was deeply hurt. I put on this front that everything was fine because that's just the kind of person I am. I held it together until I heard the album again on vinyl.

The day before the show, I still wasn't sure on whether I was going to be making the trip on my own or if I was still going to try to find someone to come along with me. That night as I was playing the album, I came to the conclusion of taking my son with me. Now, a quick little note about my kiddo; he's been to (after this show) eight shows (not counting the ones he attended while I was pregnant with him and the ones before he was one year old). His dad has been the one to take him to all the shows he's been to and so I knew this was going to be extra special considering it would be a first for us as a mother and son.

I'm going to quickly summarize the show and say that it was more than I expected. It had been 13 years since I've seen Atmosphere live and to say, that I needed this show, is a complete understatement. I stood there taking in his words, hearing songs that I've heard when I was a teenager going through a very difficult time in my life. Not only that but looking down and seeing my nine-year-old son getting into the music as well, it was easy to say that I was a wave of emotions. I was able to be completely free and for the first time, in all honesty, I was ready to move forward. I love music, and this is one of the reasons why; being able to share this experience with my son and having him listen to music that I love is something I will never forget.

So now I'm here writing this post while the record is playing and the music is being permanently embedded into my brain. I want to thank my son (and his dad and his girlfriend because I know they were behind getting me the vinyl) in gifting me this album on vinyl. The album's first song is titled none other than 'Jerome' (that happens to be my son's name. I don't believe in coincidences so it was in the cards that I take my son to this show). It's a song that begins with some guitar work and it's a perfect introduction to the album. 'Stopwatch' is the next song and it's probably my second favorite song. This song was played live and it was just as good. It features DJ scratching which I absolutely love; it's done so well and in a way that it doesn't overpower the song but it’s still noticeable. The first side ends with 'Virgo'. The melody is much more mellow compared to 'Stopwatch' but it doesn't take away from how touching the song is. It really allows for Slug's lyrics to speak clearly.

You lookin' for a bag of tricks But my love is like a stack of bricks Cobblestones and untreated lumber I'm a father of fists, strength, in numbers And when they come for my box of dreams I'm a finally depart from this toxic scene

Side two begins with 'Delicate' and once more the song provides some beautiful imagery. The beat on this song is so soothing. The song for me teaches me that letting go is part of living.

And as the seasons go by, more friends say, "Bye" Less luggage makes it easier to fly

This next song spoke volumes to me. 'Drown' which features Cashinova, The Lioness, and Dem Atlas along with the ever-talented Slug join together to provide one of my favorite songs of 2019. Yes, I know the year has just started but I'm confident enough to say that about this song. The whole song is on its own level, but this verse done by The Lioness really hit me hard and it's the most beautiful thing I've heard in a long time.

You can't just take, reciprocate, make an exchange I'm lighting sage to cleanse a space Getting that bad energy up off of me Replaced with inner peace Fools call you so expose enemies with false identities You're no friend to me so don't pretend to be

Their different tones work perfectly with the structure of the song. Not only is the song done exceptionally well, but let me elaborate a little bit as to why this song means so much to me.

The last song on this side is 'Anymore' and this is the deepest for me. Once more it's like Slug knew exactly what to say while the words flowed out of my speakers.

I'm not trying to put my energy inside the worst I fight the urge, to submit to your hurtful shit I ain't got the wish to waste on a perfect bitch

I probably listened to this side a minimum of five times. If you take a chance please do yourself a favor and listen to these three songs. I mean the whole album is gold, but at the very least give these three songs a chance.

'Earring' begins side three, which features artist Musab. Following it is 'Trim' which is a little more light-hearted. 'Trim' mentions the sexual life of a couple; in terms of trying to make time for each other while raising their children. The side ends with 'Specificity' which follows 'Trim' perfectly in my opinion.

Lastly, there is side four and it begins with a song called 'Mijo' which translates to son in Spanish. This song is touching as it reflects on parenthood and being a parent myself; yeah it hit close to home.

I don't know how much time we have left But I promise you that when I breathe my last breath I'ma exhale and remember your birth It's never too late to get some heaven on earth

'Randy Mosh' is next and it features collaboration with The Dynospectrum, which is another great song full of some amazing lyrics. The album ends with 'Graffiti'. I love this song and for, me, it ties it all together. It tied my whole relationship perfectly. It's funny really how music heals and allows for closure; at least that's what it did for me. His whole lyrics are a beauty but this particular part is in my top ten.

I'm examining the clouds like I'm looking for a sign I hope you're having a good time If you wasn't afraid would you lie so much You got your tail between your legs chasing fire trucks You can tell I'm not the best at expressing how I felt That's why I hide it inside the words I spell I mix the medication, it fixes whatever ails them And now she treats me like a snake oil salesman, huh Well, thank you for your vote of confidence I don't give a shit about how it figures into all your politics Still believe you gotta make your art, play your part The world waits for you to break my patient heart

After going to the show and listening to the album I realized just how much I needed this. I needed to experience live music, his live music. Not only was it the experience worth it but also the way I came out feeling was beyond healing for me. Music has powers for sure that can take you back to memories that you thought you forgot, it can help you move on from difficult situations, it can provide that outlet that is so desperately needed; in short, it can work wonders. For me, this has to be one of their best albums, top three for me.

#atmosphere #mi vida local #hip hop #hip hop on vinyl #musicallysublime #music to heal my soul #healing #slug #ant #my vinyl #my vinyl collection #vinyl community #vinyl blog #music blog #live shows #live hip hop #the music speaks #jerome #family #breakups