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dreamescapeswriting · 2 months

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Stray Kids Reaction || You Fidget A Lot

PAIRING: Skz X GN!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - March 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

CHAN:

In the crowded room of a bustling party, you find yourself feeling completely overwhelmed. You'd agreed to come to the party with your boyfriend who knew everyone and you were now alone in the corner. You felt so unwanted and you began to pick at your fingers, trying to blend into the background but the room felt so suffocating to be in. The noise of the music was deafening and only added to the torment going on in your mind.

From across the room, Chan spotted you in distress instantly, he'd been trying to get back to you for a while now but his friends were talking his ear off but seeing you so anxious he just walked away from them.

"Hey, you're okay, I got you," Chan whispered as he wrapped his arms around you, your whole body turning into his embrace and buried your face in his chest.

"I'm sorry," You hated yourself for ruining tonight for him

"Don't be, let's go outside for some air," He suggested as he started to walk with you, tears running down your cheek as he rubbed small circles into your back.

Once you were outside and away from the chaos of the party you finally felt as though you could breathe again.

"You can go back in...I'll catch a cab home or something," You mumbled but Chan pulled you tighter against him, rubbing soothing circles into your back,

"We'll go home together, you're anxious and I want to be here for you," He told you as he kept you close to him. The overwhelming anxiety began to ebb away and was replaced by a feeling of calm and security.

MINHO:

"Hey jitterbug," Minho teased watched you, the two of you were having a date in a cafe only you hadn't known it was going to be this busy when you agreed to come. Now you were so anxious that you were drumming your fingers on the table as well as your leg bouncing.

"What's got you so wound up?" He teased, reaching across to poke your hand gently, you smiled a little at him.

"Just anxious I guess," You mumbled. You hadn't gone into much detail with Minho about your anxiety, you were nervous about it since many people had called you dramatic in the past or had made fun of you for it.

"Relax, it's just some coffee. Nothing to be nervous about, I promise." He said but as he studied you more closely he began to notice the tension in your shoulders and the way you picked at your sleeve, the teasing grin he had once been wearing suddenly wiped from his face.

"Are you okay?" His voice was softer now and laced with genuine worry.

"I'm trying to be, but...I-It's just-" You didn't even have to finish your sentence before Minho was sitting beside you and wrapping his arm around you.

"I'm sorry...I didn't realise," He knew anxiety when he saw it, his best friend struggled with it too.

"You don't have to hide it from me. I'm here for you, no matter what." Tears welled up in your eyes as you stared at him, no one had ever been there for you like this and you were so grateful to have someone who accepted it.

"Thanks, I'm sorry I'm so fidgety, I just...I can't seem to calm myself down." You admitted, Minho squeezed you softly giving you a reassuring smile.

"Then allow me to help, okay?" You nodded at him, watching as he began to take in some deep breaths, making you copy him.

"It's just me and you right now, and if anyone else comes along I'll fight," He winks at you and you giggle a little through your deep breathing.

"You're allowed to feel anxious, so long as you know I'm here to support you through it, okay?" He waited for you to nod before he continued breathing with you, getting you to focus on him or things outside of the window instead of what was happening in the cafe.

The longer you sat there you felt a weight lifting from your shoulders as you relaxed into Minhos' embrace, knowing that with him by your side you could do anything.

CHANGBIN:

Your fingers twisted in your lap as you glanced around nervously, staring at all of the different passengers on the plane who didn't seem fazed by the turbulence the plane was experiencing.

"Yn," Changbin whispered, his hand reaching out to yours. You forced a tight smile onto your lips as you focused on looking out of the window. You hadn't mentioned it to him before but you were extremely nervous about planes. But they set off your anxiety more than anything else.

"We're okay. It's just a bit of wind," He promised as he turned your head to look at him, squeezing your hand reassuringly and offering you a comforting smile.

"It's alright to be anxious but as long as you know you're not alone in it." He smiled bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your knuckles.

"I'm right here beside you." He told you as he smiled, Changbin was your little glimmer of hope that everything was okay. You always thought that with him you could do anything.

"You're doing great, just focus on your breathing and remember I'm here with you," He whispered in your ear, your eyes shutting as you tried to focus on breathing and the way his hand felt in yours.

As the flight continued Changbin never left your side, offering you constant comfort and support, even distracting you with stories and jokes, doing everything in his power to ease your anxiety just that little bit more until the plane finally touched down.

"I couldn't have done that without you," You breathed out as you finally got into the airport, his arms wrapping around you tightly as he promised to do that for you whenever you needed it.

HYUNJIN:

You were sat in one of the fanciest restaurants you'd ever been in, at an elegant dinner table with Hyunjin's parents and you couldn't stop your leg from bouncing up and down, a clear sign that your anxiety was getting the better of you. Hyunjin waited until his parents were talking among themselves before he turned his full attention to you, he placed his hand on your knee giving it a small squeeze.

"Is this all too much?" He whispered, he knew you'd been anxious about the dinner but you promised him you'd be okay. Now all he wanted to do was take you home and comfort you all night.

"I'm sorry...I-I just- I feel anxious," You admitted, your stomach twisted as you looked at him. Without hesitating he leaned closer to you, holding your hands in his.

"You're doing great, okay? Just take some deep breaths with me," You nodded, your shoulders sagging a little with relief from his words. You took in some deep and steady breaths at the same time as Hyunjin and he smiled gently applying a steady pressure to your leg to calm your nerves. Hyunjin's parents glanced over at you both,

"Yn, Hyunjin, we're both so happy you're here. Let's relax and enjoy the evening." His mother suggested, Hyunjin had briefly mentioned your anxiety to her and they wanted you to have a nice evening.

Hyunjin's attention was still on you as he whispered words of encouragement, silently letting you know he was there for you now and always.

As the night grew on, your fidgeting gradually subsided, replaced with a sense of calm and happiness as you got to know your boyfriend's family more.

JISUNG:

Jisung watched you as you nervously tapped your foot on the floor, bounced your leg up and down and even started to pick at your clothes. The two of you were sitting in your living room together trying to unwind from the day but he could clearly see your anxiety was playing up.

"You anxiety acting up, again?" He asked gently, reaching out and gently rubbing your back. You nodded, your eyes downcast as you bit on your lip.

"It's been a rough day and I can't seem to calm down." You admitted before Jisung gently squeezed your shoulder got up from the couch and disappeared into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a bag.

"I am prepared this time," He smirked, a hint of excitement in his voice as he dropped down beside you on the bed. You took the bag he was holding out to you and peeked inside, your mouth turning up into a small smile.

"You did this?" You smiled looking at him before looking back into the bag. It was an assortment of fidget toys, stress balls, a spinner ring, a textured cube and so many more things,

"I figured they'd be better to fidget with," He smiled seeing you so happy about everything, he'd been looking online for the best toys and collected them all for you.

"Thank you," You sniffled a little, taking out one of the stress balls and squeezing it tightly in your hand,

"You always know how to take care of me," Your voice broke a little and Jisung pulled you into a gentle hug,

"I love you, and I'll do anything I can to support you." He smiled as the two of you sat there in the comfort of your living room while you explored all of your new fidget toys.

FELIX:

Felix poured you a cup of tea and then watched you closely. The two of you were at your favourite cafe together and it had been a while since the two of you had gone out which was why Felix had planned this. But he knew there was something bothering you, you'd been overly cautious of everything that morning and even now, your eyes were darting around the room as if you were looking for an escape and he instantly knew what was going on. You were nervously picking at the skin around your fingers, your brows furrowed together,

"Yn, you're okay," He whispered. Your fingers froze mid-motion and you forced a smile onto your face,

"I-I'm fine, just a little anxious." You admitted, Felix shuffled to be on the seat beside you, gently covering your hand with his own.

"You don't have to hide it from me, Yn. I know you're struggling but I'm right here," He whispered to you, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared at him. Everyone in the past has merely teased you for fidgeting a lot or made rude comments about it.

"I-It's just, my anxiety...it gets the better of me sometimes and I can't stop picking at my fingers," Felix's heart ached at the sight of your distress, he knew your struggles and all he wanted to do was help you.

"We're in this together, we're okay." He promised you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close to him.

"We're at our favourite place, drinking our favourite drinks and relaxing." He smiled at you, your head resting on his shoulder as you felt your heart rate slowing down. Felix took in some deep breaths with you and you slowly felt the tightness in your chest gradually loosen.

"Thanks, Lix," You whispered, but he shook his head at you, he didn't need you to thank him for doing something he wanted to do.

"I love you, Yn, and I'll always be here to hold your hand, no matter what." He told you before you kissed him softly.

SEUNGMIN:

This was supposed to be a casual night in with friends and yet you found yourself fidgeting beside your boyfriend, your fingers drumming nervously on your thigh and then adjusting the sleeves of your sweating.

"You can't ever sit still, can you?" Felix meant it as a joke but the way his tone came out it sounded as though he was annoyed at you. Seungmin's eyes dated to his friend as he felt a surge of anger rising in him. He took in a deep breath trying to keep his composure, shooting Felix a warning glare.

"It's okay," Seungmin whispers to you as he places his hand over yours carefully and rubs your skin softly.

"You're safe here and Felix was just teasing, you know how he is." He whispered to you, Felix's face flushed a little as he realised what was happening and he instantly wanted to kick himself.

"Yn, I'm so sorry."

"It's not as if Felix doesn't have weird habits," Chan chimed in with a smirk,

"We all have our quirks, nothing wrong with that." Seungmin finished as he wrapped his arm around you, cuddling into you tightly.

"I've got you," He reassured you, your shoulders relaxing a little as you felt a little of your anxiety lift ever so slightly. For the rest of the evening, Seungmin kept a close eye on you, watching for any signs of fidgeting so he could take you home if it got too bad.

JEONGIN:

Jeongin watched you closely, you were fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, your fingers twisted the fabric in small, nervous movements. The two of you had gone out for a small walk together and were taking a break on the park bench.

"Hey, baby, is everything alright?" His voice was laced with concern as he stared at you. You looked at him, your eyes quickly darting around before finally meeting his gaze. You smiled a little but he knew it wasn't a real smile.

"Fine...Just feeling a little anxious I guess," You hated that you were feeling so anxious, you'd gone on this walk a million times with Jeongin but there was something about today that made you a little more anxious than usual.

Jeongin nodded, moving closer to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulders, he knew about your struggle with anxiety and he wasn't going to let you go through this alone.

"You know you can talk to me, right? Whatever Is bothering you, I'm here for you." You leaned into his embrace, your hands stilling as you relaxed against him.

"Everything feels overwhelming right now, I can't even keep up with my own thoughts," You mumbled, and Jeongin tightened his grasp around you.

"I get it. But remember, you don't have to face it alone. I'm here to help you carry the weight, even if it's just by listening to you." You smiled up at him, a small sigh leaving your lips as you relaxed against him.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." You snuggled into him and with each passing moment your breathing steadied and your anxiety loosened its grip on you.

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pit-and-the-pen · 5 days

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I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 1

A/ N:I’m horrible at exposition so bare with me through this one. It feels a little clunky to me but this sets up a lot for the rest of the series. This is also the longest thing I’ve written outside of my senior thesis so… I have this series fully planned out and now that I’m back from vacation I should be able to work on it a lot more.

Anyways, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for it!

Warnings: Spring court slander (implied trauma), nightmares. Drinking. I think that’s all but feel free to let me know if I should add anything!

Wc- ~10k

Previous part: here

We’re coming home.

I ran up to my brother. Desperately pulling on Rhys’ arm and I felt him stumble back into me. He remained frozen, eyes locked on the female in front of him. Her and Rhys were clearly in the middle of a very intense conversation. But I wanted to go home. When I shouted Rhys’ name, his head flickered to me before looking back at Feyre. I saw his body tense, eyes going wide and it was instinct that had me grabbing his arm and winnowing us to Velaris.

The smell instantly calms me in a way I haven't felt in fifty years. Once my vision had fully focused,

“She’s my mate”, nothing above a whisper. My head snapped over to him. Mate. That explained his reaction. I felt the guilt in my stomach at pulling him away from Feyre. My arms are already reaching to pull Rhys towards me into a hug. As my arms wrapped around him, he sobbed into my shoulder.

This wasn’t the Rhys I had come to know under the mountain. Sob after sob left his mouth and his precious wings dropped to the ground. I knew this was more than the reaction of a male who had his mate taken from him. This was my brother who had to watch his mate be in love with someone else after years of suffering. The cauldron had finally granted him a mate only to have her ripped away from him.

“I’m sorry” was all I could think to say. So many reasons for being sorry. Sorry for all he went through. Sorry for not being strong enough to stop it. Sorry that the female the mother had chosen for him was in love with the High Lord of Spring, and had willingly died for him. Sorry that I stole away what little time he had spent with her.

Rhys let out another sob against my shoulder and it shook me to my core. I have heard him cry over Amarantha many times but seeing him break over Feyre was enough for me to want to march to spring and drag her to Velaris. But she wouldn’t want that. I know Rhys would have my head on a spike if I even offered.

We both turned around at the sound of the door opening. Mor stood in silence, eyes scanning over us. Noticing our embrace. She stepped up to us and a soft smile crossed her face.

“Tell me about your mate, Rhys.”

That was all it took for the flood gates to open. We did more than recall the details about the last few months. Rhys and I cherry picking only the most vital and important details. We kept a few things close to our chests. Those would stay our nightmares alone, Mor didn’t need to be haunted with our ghosts as well.

Mor sat patiently before she finally interrupted. ��She’s really dead?” Rhy freezed at the mention of Amarantha. I lightly placed a hand on his shoulder and answered for him. “Yes. But I don’t think this is over.” Mor just nodded sharply, looking at I both before she launched herself at both of I, arms coming up to wrap around my brother and myself.

“If either of you ever do something that stupid again, I’ll kill you myself.” Her voice didn’t hold any malice, instead it shook with tears. My heart jumped as I left the weight of her emotions wash over me. The pain in my chest tightened as I realized how much our absence has truly shaken our family. I knew, of course, but seeing it was entirely different.

The three of us began to settle and I finally had time to get my bearings in the house. As I let the glow of the house wrap around I. A familiar scent caught my attention, and my whole body sang. My head whipped around, looking for the source of that pine and night air, looking for Azriel. Cas too of course but Azriel was on the front of my mind.

Mor’s smile tilted slightly. “They should be back soon.” She sighed “They just went to the camps to check on all of them” She paused, stumbling over words “ when we got that message from you, someone thought the most important thing was letting the camp leaders know that they had a high lord to answer to again.” This didn’t surprise me at all. Of course they would want, need, to fill in the Illyrian warriors that were now back under Rhys command with his return, Cassian having to take over that helm by nature of his position. It would be a fight, but one for a different day.

I wanted nothing more than to see the rest of my family and responsibilities be damned. I wanted to see them now. It had already been almost 50 years and in theory another day wouldn’t hurt but the house felt empty without the loudness of Cassian’s voice booming. It felt cold without Azriel’s shadows stirring around.

As if Mor could sense my unease, she lightly grabbed my wrist and started pulling me deeper into the house. “I have so many books I need to show you.” That was all it took for me to laugh. Mind reeling as I tried to remember the last time I had truly laughed.

The library was just as I had remembered it. The smell of old parchment and leather filled the space. Fires kept the room warm and light and I wanted that feeling to sink down into my bones.

Mor gave me the space to just absorb my favorite room in the house. Rhys had given me full reign over how it was decorated. Comfy chairs that could accommodate wings and backless chairs tufted with fabric that looked like they were made of stardust were spread over the large room. The heavy wooden desk I had put in was covered in stacks of books.

“I put all the ones I knew you would like over there.” Mor spoke up when she saw my eyes lock on the countless books. I felt my throat tighten up with tears at the thought she must have put behind the seemingly small action. It wasn’t uncommon for Mor and I to swap books as we finished them. Mostly so we could sit and talk about them for hours together. Mor and I spent many nights on the couches I had put in, falling asleep with our respective books still clutched in our hands.

Looking at the stacks, a rough count told me there had to be over a hundred books, easily.

“Looks like I have some serious reading to do.” I laughed. She beamed a smile at me.

“Those are just the ones I knew you would like,” She walked over to one of the bookcases in front of the desk. “These are all the others that I need you to read so I can scream about them.”

Three whole shelves in total. It would take me gods know how long to get through them. I voiced that much. Mor waved me off.

“You have all the time in the world to read them. It doesn’t have to happen all at once, but I’m not letting anything happen to you again. You’ll have time to read them all.” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft. I turned to look at her and I saw the pink speckling her cheeks and right above her lips, the tell-tale signs that she was trying not to cry. I placed the book I had just picked up and threw my arms around her, squeezing her as tight as I possibly could. She nuzzled her head against my shoulder and all I could do was try to hold her tighter.

By the time we pulled away from the hug, we were both a crying, giggling mess. I forgot how much I loved spending time with Mor. Regardless of how much I cared for my brothers, Mor and I were two sides of the same coin. Plus the boys wouldn’t sit and discuss the pure filth that tended to grace the pages of the books I devoured.

“So, what one should I start with?”

She all but squealed as she started flipping through the piles with me. We organized as we went. Placing them in piles of order that I should read them in. A few of the series I had been following had new installments that would most likely require a reread so those got placed on the back burner for the, now older, favorites she was dying to talk about. From there we were able to pick out one of her more recent favorites that had me itching to crack open immediately. She picked out one from her own pile across the room and the both of us settled into silence, the only sound was the fireplace cracking and pages turning.

I don’t know how late it was when Rhys softly opened the door to sneak into the room. My eyes were starting to get dry from how little I was blinking, desperate to get through one more chapter before I called it a night. Something I had voiced to Mor about ten chapters ago. Mor who now was asleep on her own couch, her hair pooling over the edge almost touching the floor from the uncomfortable angel her head had fallen into.

“The books will still be here after you’ve gotten some sleep,” Rhys said in a gentle mocking tone. Mor stirred slightly at his voice but remained sleeping. “Come on, I’d be an awful High Lord, and an even worse brother, if I let you fall asleep in the library on your first night home.” I nodded at his words. Truthfully, I couldn’t care less where I slept but for some reason, I could tell it mattered to Rhys. It would honestly be more normal for me to fall asleep anywhere but my room. Whether it be in the library or the large sectional in the living room or the comfy chairs on the rooftop, I rarely ever slept in my own bed. Rhys had ensured that every surface of the house was as comfortable as possible to account for this but I didn’t push or argue with him as I untucked my legs from underneath me and stood up. I debated leaving Mor to sleep but didn’t want her to wake up all alone. Reaching out a hand, I placed it on her shoulder and gave her a small shake. She groaned but opened her eyes anyway.

“We’re being banished to our rooms.” I joked and pointed over the Rhys. She let out an even louder groan.

“Overprotective bat.” Even Rhys laughed at her words.

“Come on, before he carries us himself.” I held out a hand and I could see Mor contemplating just rolling back over and going back to sleep but she grabbed my hand. Pulling slightly, I helped her to her feet and she rolled her neck slowly. No doubt trying to work out whatever kink was starting to develop due to half of her head hanging off the thin couch. The three of us walked down the hallway to our rooms. Sleepily stumbling to doors. We reached Mor’s first and before she slipped in, she gave me another tiny hug and another to Rhys.

“I love you guys,” Sleep was evident in the way she almost drunkenly stumbled over her words. I returned the sentiment and she was slipping into her bedroom, the door clicking shut behind her.

Rhys and I stood outside her bedroom for a little longer, until we saw the light from under the door flicker out. Eventually, we continued walking until we got to my door. There was a slight pause as I turned the handle. Rhys and I would normally be curled up in my bed under the mountain by now. I vaguely thought about asking him to stay the night. Not that I think either of us were truly going to be able to sleep. As tired as I felt, I was afraid that if I closed my eyes for too long I was going to wake up and this was all going to be a cruel dream.

Rhys seemed to pick up on my hesitancy. “I can walk in with you. If you’re…”:

“Please.” I interrupted him. He gave me a soft smile and gestured for me to open the door.

Nothing was out of place. The room smelt like my favorite perfume and when I looked around, there was no dust to be found. Someone had spent the time still cleaning the room while I was gone. I don’t know why that touched me as much as it did but as I looked around I felt all the unshed tears finally starting to take its toll. A sob ripped its way from my chest and Rhys’ arms were around me in an instant.

He shushed me softly, rocking me slightly. “We made it. We’re free. We’re back home.” He repeated over and over until I had cried myself out. I pulled out of his embrace and wiped away the stray tears. Shaking my head at my outburst I muttered a thank you to my brother.

“Try to get some sleep. I’ll be just across the hall if you need anything,” He says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded and he gave me a sad smile as he walked out of the room.

I wandered over to my dresser, fished around until I pulled out the first pair of pajamas I came across. I hastily pulled my clothes off and as I went to pull the nightgown over my head, I realized the layer of grim that was clinging to my skin. A bath was definitely needed before I climbed into my warm bed.

The tub was already full and scalding hot by the time I had finished pouring in an obscene amount of oils and bath salts. Sinking in, I sighed out in relief as the heat enveloped me. Muscles in my neck and back released as I leaned my head against the edge of the tub. I picked up the sponge on the edge and started to wash myself off. After countless minutes of scrubbing, despite my raw skin I still didn’t feel clean. Huffing, I threw the sponge across the bathroom and pulled my knees up to my chest. I just sat curled up around myself until the water started to cool down. And it was still another handful of minutes before I could manage to pull myself upright and step out of the bath. I shivered at the temperature difference. Hugging my towel closer to my body, I quickly ran bacon into my room and threw the nightgown over my head. I burrowed underneath my comforter and tried to close my eyes.

I tossed and turned until I started pleading with the mother, the cauldron, anyone that would listen to let me go to sleep. I was bone tired but everytime I closed my eyes something made me snap them open a few moments later. Every creek of the house had my ears prickling. Has the house always been this loud? I wondered how I never noticed it before. How I ever slept with all the noise. It was then I remembered that, if my room truly haven't been messed with since I had left, that I still had a sleeping tonic from when I had cracked a few ribs. Fae healing or not, ribs always were a pain to heal. Majda had given me a tonic to make me sleep so I could actually heal without Cassian making me laugh them out of place. I flung myself out of bed and padded over to my vanity. The small bottle of purple liquid still sat , half drank/ Uncorking it, I prayed that sleeping potions didn’t go bad and took a tentative sip. Fighting back a gag at the foul taste, I put the cork back on the top and walked back to my bed. The medicine had its desired effect. Not a minute later I felt my eyelids flutter close and this time they stayed closed until I could sense the sun high in the air signaling the next day had come.

Knocking on my door made me finally crawl out of bed. Goraning at having to leave the warmth, I flung open the door and was staring a slightly startled Rhys in the face. He held a small tray in front of him, stacked high with various foods.

“I didn’t want to wake you up. You slept through breakfast and lunch and I didn’t know what you would want so I brought a little of everything.” He spoke the words so fast that in my half awake state I struggled to keep up with them. I gestured for him to come in so he could place the tray on my bed.

“Have you eaten?” I raised an eyebrow at him as I picked up a large strawberry.. His look told me that he had, in fact, not eaten. I pointed to my bed. “Sit and eat.” I barked, mouth full of strawberries. He laughed at some silent joke and picked up a piece of toast covered in some fruit jam. We were quiet as we ate, picking apart the platter he had brought in. Truly too much for one person to eat. Once we were both full, I wiped off my hands on my comforter and finished swallowing my last bite before I asked Rhys. “What do you have on the agenda for today?” He stilled and picked at a piece of lint on his sweater.

“Not a lot. I’m trying to organize a meeting with the High Lords of the other courts to just debrief after everything.” He shrugged like that wasn’t going to be the hardest meeting to organize. “There are some young high lords and with all the aftermath of this…We just need to all talk this out.” I nodded along with him. The courts would need some time to bounce back after this but from the way things had seemed under the mountain, we didn’t have that time. As much as I prayed to be wrong about this, war was on the horizon and we would need to have the courts functioning as much as possible if we were going to stand a chance against Hyberns forces. Amarantha was just a taste of the power that he had, an experiment of sorts.

Mor knocked on the open door before she walked in and plopped down next to Rhys. She took note of our stern faces but didn’t say anything. Instead, she swiped one of the sandwiches off of the tray and shoved half of it in her mouth in one bite. “You, me, library.” Was all she said before she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

“Well I know what you’re doing for the rest of the day.” Rhys laughed as I started to scramble to get dressed. I was about to start changing when I noticed he hadn't moved from his perch on my bed. “Get out!” I scratched at him and all but pushed him out of the door, slamming it shut behind him. His laugh echoed off the empty halls outside my door.

In record time, I was running down the halls to the library. Mor was already sitting, her book curled against her chest. She didn’t look up from her book as she pointed to the one I had abandoned last night. “Butt in chair, book in hand.” She said and I laughed at her tone. I walked over to my couch and picked up the book, the spine slightly cracked from laying face down most of the day.

I must have finally gotten to the juicy part of the book because I felt Mor Peering over the edge of her own book. My poker face was completely gone as I sunk in every word. “No. Absolutely not!” I screamed, rereading the last few pages to make sure I was seeing it correctly.

“Did you finally get to..�� I held up my hand to shush her. She laughed and threw one of the throw pillows at my head. I only put my book down long enough to catch the pillow, using it to now prop up my arms. Once I had confirmed I had not actually gone crazy, Mor and I started discussing the plot twist that had been the source of my outburst. She accidentally let a detail slip that had me scrambling back for the book, desperate to catch up to the point she had been talking about. This went on for hours until I saw her perk up. She turned to face me.

“They’re back.” Was all Mor said, still flipping through the book perched on her knees. I didn’t say anything else before I put my own book to the side and all but ran from the room. Her laugh bouncing off the walls behind me.

I could smell him before I saw him. That deep cedar and cold rain smell that I could wrap myself in. Rhys tried to say something to him but stopped when he realized he no longer held his audience's full attention. Azriel’s shadows ripping across the room and curling around my feet like a small cat. I could have purred at the feeling, tears started to peek along the corners of my eyes at the familiar feeling.

When I felt movement next to me, I felt momentary disappointment at the fact that Azriel was not standing in front of me. Strong arms wrapped around my middle and started to swing me in a circle, I felt joy so strong it almost hurt. Cassian sat me back down on my feet and when he went to speak, I wrapped my arms around him in return. We stood embracing each other, slowly rocking from foot to foot.

“Missed you, Princess.” He muttered into my head. I just nodded, my cheek too squished against his chest to say anything. “I think Mor was going to kill us if she had to be the only girl living in the house. Amren can only handle so much damage control and the coward spent most nights at her apartment.” He nudged my shoulder as he spoke, pulling a laugh from me. It felt good to laugh again. My cheeks hurt in the perfect way at the smile that stretched over my face.

A throat being cleared from across the room pulled my attention from Cassian. I could have melted into a puddle right then and there. Azriel stood in front of me, a true smile gracing his face. I squealed and rushed over into his arms. He didn’t swing me around like Cassian did, but he held me just as tight. It would have felt so right to crash my lips against his and he released me from his arms, but that wasn’t my relationship with Azriel. Those thoughts were nothing more than what I needed to make it through the events of the last fifty years. Azriel looked at me like I was a sister, nothing more. Rhys’ little sister on top of that. His high lord's little sister. He was the one who had coined my nickname centuries ago. When the trio first formed their own little band of brothers. I had gotten pulled in by proximity, Azriel said it one day and it had stuck ever since. “Hi Princess.” He said, tone polite but I could hear the joy behind them. I tried not to blush as I heard his voice. Shaking the things I had imagined that voice saying to me out of my head out, I mustered up a pathetic, “Hi, Az.”

It had never felt this awkward around him. Cursing myself mentally for thinking of all the things I would say to him when I finally saw him again. None of those words made their way out of me as the two of us stared at each other. “I’m glad you’re home.” Was all he said his words short but I felt the sincerity leaking from them. Biting down the flutter in my heart, I gave a short nod and wrapped my arms around myself. His eyes tracked the movement but didn’t say anything.

Cass clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder, breaking the tension that I felt take over the room. “We’ll see you at training tomorrow,” I raised an eyebrow to him. “Don’t give me that look, I’m guessing you didn’t have time to… while you were gone. I can’t have my sister not able to defend herself. We would be the laughing stock of Pyrthian.” He smiled as I made a big show of rolling my eyes .

So I joined them for training the next morning. And the next. Cassian slowly ran through the basics until I was nothing more than a mile of sore bones and sweat by the end of our sessions. I would shower and hang out with Mor. Rhys was suddenly very busy as he tried to catch up on all the events he missed in his court over the last fifty years. He made more and more trips to Hewn City, leaving Mor free to run around with me. Before I knew it a month had passed and all of us were sitting around the table for one of our family dinners.

Jokes were flung around the table and no one noticed the way Rhys and I sat back, sinking it all in. More than once I caught his eyes from across the table and all we could do was smile at each other. Is it bad to say that I missed this? I spoke into his head as Mor and Cassian had started raising their voices at each other, getting into a slight argument over some random events of the day. I did too. Even when we both flinched at the volume Cassian’s voice had risen too. Even Azriel had started to chime in before Mor shot him down with a withering look. I laughed despite myself at his expression. I shut up when that look was turned to me.

The conversation fell into a natural lull and everyone was happily eating. Rhys hissed at something, shaking his arm that bore the bargain mark. Something must have prickled down the weird connection.

“I still can’t believe you let her go with Tamlin.” Cassian said, stabbing something on his plate with a little more force than necessary. Rhys bared his teeth at his brother.

“I didn't have much of a choice, now did I?” He slumped back into his chair, still rubbing his hand. “She already hated me because of this stupid bargain but if I had stolen away from the male she was willing to die for…”

“But Rhys. It’s Tamlin. No one would have slighted you, not after…” Cassian’s gaze flickered to me. As hard as I was trying to tune out the conversation, I still felt my chest tighten at their words. Rhys would have never taken Feyre without her permission, well at least outside of the bargain but we both knew that was simply a means to an end. Regardless of how much it must hurt to have another person he cared about over in spring, Rhys wouldn’t take that choice away from her, no matter how concerned he might be for her safety.

“How was it seeing the brute again?” Amren asked and the table silenced. I froze and kept my gaze locked down at my plate. Suddenly losing my appetite completely.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I itched at my wrist, tugging at the fabric that felt too tight around my wrist. Azriel placed a comforting hand over mine. I flashed him a thankful smile.

“You haven’t wanted to talk about it for over a century.” She prodded.

“And she shouldn’t have to if she doesn’t want to,” She took a breath like she was about to press the issue. “Why does it matter to you anyways?” Azriel hissed at her. Amren had the decency to take a hint and held up her hands in surrender, a smirk plastered on her face.

We all sat in silence for the rest of dinner. Even Cassian knew better than to make any comments due to the tension in the air. Everytime he would go to say something, Rhys would shoot daggers at him. Eventually I got sick of it and threw my napkin down.

“Fine. You want to know what it felt like?” I shouted at Amren. Everyone flinched. “I am terrified for that girl. Because I know what loving Tamlin does to someone. Seeing him felt just like you whenever someone mentions the prison.” She paled at my words and I didn’t spare her another look as I pushed away from the table, storming out. I know I would regret my words later but sometimes Amren needed a taste of her own medicine. She just loved to push everyone buttons because we were all too scared to really piss her off.

I flung myself into my bed, still fully dressed. I groaned into my pillow. Apologies could wait until tomorrow. A knock from the door had me fighting back swears. Stomping over to the door, I ripped it open and a very startled Rhys was standing in the hallway, hand raised like he was about to knock again.

“I wanted to check on you.” The high lord said.

“I’m fine” I gritted out and he raised an eyebrow at me. I let out a heavy sigh.

“I know I shouldn’t have taken the bait but I don’t want to talk about him, right now or ever, if I can avoid it.” Rhys’ eyes held sympathy and he just contuined standing in the hallway, letting me rant. “I mean it’s been so long. I didn’t want to talk about it then. No one’s asking how you feel about Tamlin.” I paused and Rhys just shrugged.

“If she’s happy with him, then it’s not my place to try to save her. If she wants to come here, then I’ll happily let her do that too.”

I stared at him like he had gone crazy. “What about the bargain?” He shrugged again

“It was necessary at the time. I don’t actually plan on cashing in on it. She’d only hate me. More.” I could feel his despair. The self loathing held behind those words.

“Rhys.” He shook his head.

“I’ll never take away her choice in this. Just because she’s my mate doesn’t mean I have a claim to her. Regardless of every nerve in my body screaming otherwise. It’s her life. She’s given more than enough to deserve whatever, whoever, makes her happy.” I went to hug him and he stepped out of my reach. “As much as I appreciate it, I don’t need your sympathy for making the right decision.” He tried to play it off as a joke but I knew he truly meant it.

“Well if you ever want to talk about it…”

“Like how you want to talk about Tamlin.” He cut me off. My mouth set into a thin line and I took that as a dismissal of the conversation. Fine. I just wanted to crawl into bed anyway.

“Well now that we’ve established that. Anything else you want to say, oh mighty High Lord.”

“No.”

“Good. Good night.” I said and swiftly shut the door in his face. I love my brother but he really knows how to get under my skin sometimes. I know deep down I’m mad because he called me out. I can’t expect him to pour his heart out to me when I won’t do the same thing.

I threw the covered back and crawled in, still fully dressed. Mind reeling. I wouldn’t even know where to start with talking to anyone about Tamlin. And what good would it do? All of that was in the past and talking about it would only piss everyone off all over again. We had just barely avoided attacking the spring court when I came home. I don’t want to drag Feyre into this now that she’s there.

I managed to finally fall asleep, tossing and turning. Dreams filled with deep swirling greens and the sound of growls.

When I woke up in the morning I could tell it was later than normal. The sun is slightly higher in the air. Snapping out of my sleepy haze I cursed as I jumped out of bed. I was late for training and Cassian wasn’t going to let me forget that.

Throwing on my clothes, mentally screaming at all the buckles on my training leathers. I knew not eating was going to come back to bite me in the ass but I simply didn’t have time as I sprinted through the house. In my haste, I passed a grinning Rhys. The events from last night seemingly forgiven as he taunted me.

“Maybe he’ll consider this your warm up today.” I held up a crude gesture and he only laughed harder.

I made it to the training rink in record time. My hands were on my knees as I panted. The stitch in my side was already screaming at me but I forced myself to stand up straight as Cassian sauntered over to me. The split in his lip told me Him and Azriel had gotten started without me.

“You’re late, princess.” I flinched at his tone. He surveyed me. “I think double drills should be enough to make sure that doesn’t happen again. I cursed, I couldn’t get through the routine once without limping back to the house. Two would kill me and he knew it.

“What are you waiting for? An invitation?” He held out his hand “Consider this it.” He stepped away from me, going back over to Azriel. I know Cassian wasn’t actually mad at me. He also knew that if he went easy on me, I wouldn’t take training seriously. I appreciated the routine of it all and I really did need it. So sighing I got started.

I was halfway through my second set when Cas called me over.

“Lesson learned?” He simply asked. I nodded. Still trying to take in breath. My muscles are screaming at me for still being vertical.

“Good because Cas and I decided it’s finally time to step this up a notch. You’re almost the same as you were before. Now it’s time to get your powers involved. Relearn how to fight with those.” Azriel spoke. My stomach sank. This was something I hadn't considered. It was a stupid oversight on my part and I didn’t know how to get myself out of this so I responded with the truth.

“I don’t have my powers.”

“Okay, nice joke” Cassian cut in.

“I’m not joking. I can’t use them anymore.”

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t use my powers” I grumble. “They’re still in there but it’s like I’m fighting against a wall.” Azriel raised an eyebrow at that revelation.

“How do you know?”

“I don’t know but all I know is I tried to use them… you know… And they wouldn’t come. Everyone had theirs back so I know it wasn’t the curse. So for whatever reason I couldn’t make them work.” It was embarrassing to admit. My powers had been the only truly useful thing I could rely on in the training ring.

“Have you tried since then?” I nodded. Not so much of a glimmer of them since I came home. I told Cassian that much and he swore under his breath.

“We could always take you to see Helion.” I shook my head at his words.

“I don’t want to burden him with more problems. He has enough to do in his own court. I’ll figure it out, but for now I’ll just have to fight the old fashioned way.”

Neither of the males in front of me seemed to be happy with my response but Cassian jumped right back in.

“Fine. But that means that you have a lot more training to do. If you had your powers you would be fine. But in just plain hand to hand combat, you’d get your ass kicked by anyone with any skill.”

I glared at him but I knew he was telling the truth. Grabbing his arm, I pulled him into the center of the ring and tossed him one of the training swords. Heavy but they wouldn’t do nearly as much damage when he hit me.

“Do your worst then.” Was all I said before he charged at me.

“You’re sloppy.” Cassian barked as he knocked the sword out of hand again, again. I held my wrist as it twisted at a weird angel. My cheeks heated with anger and I went to wipe the sweat that had formed on my brow with my other, only to find it just as damp. I recoiled in disgust and Cassian laughed again.

“You try getting your shit kicked in for fifty years and see how you bounce back.” I spoke and I saw his face pale. Shit. “Joking Cas, it’s okay.”

I shook my head. “I am sloppy. And that’s why I’m still training with your annoying ass. You’ll have me back in tip top shape.” He relaxed slightly, but his shoulders still wouldn’t lower.

I sighed and did the only thing I could think of as he turned away from me. I jumped onto his back, being mindful of his wings and pulled him down to the ground. The air left his lungs in a whoosh as I took us both onto our sides, I quickly bounded to my feet, ignoring the sting in my side from the impact.

“Come on you big Illyrian baby.” I raised my arms slightly in front of me and a flicker of something crossed Cassian's face and I saw him make the decision to play along. To pretend that this was just a normal day of training. He leapt to his feet with a surprising amount of grace.

“If you want a fight, you got it princess” He said with a smirk. We both stood in the middle of the training ring, circling each other, waiting for the other to make the first move. Swords forgotten off to the side. I saw the slight twitch of his left side and I made the choice to ignore the fake out, and went to block my right side. It was the right choice, the blow aimed toward my right side bounded off my forearm, it still stung but at least it didn’t put me on my ass like it would have had it made contact. I grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm back, pulling him closer towards me and pushing on his back. He only stumbled for a second before he regained his footing. That kick had put me off balance more than I anticipated and it was easy for Cassian to grab the leg that lowered too slowly, grabbing my ankle and yanking me to my stomach. I yelped at the contact. He laughed loudly as I held my hand up in surrender. I rolled over onto my back with a groan.

“Give me a few days back in training and I’ll have you on your ass, General.” He laughed even harder.

“In case you forgot, princess, you could barely do that even on your best days. Give yourself more time.”

“A week.” I responded with my own laugh. Whatever I had done, it worked. Cassian’s shoulders had fully relaxed and I noticed the smile gracing his face finally reached his eyes. I noticed Azriel starting a few feet away. I sat back on my elbows, propping myself up. “Want a round, Az?” I teased and was rewarded by him rolling those big hazel eyes.

“I think you’ve hurt yourself enough for today.” Was all he said before he turned to stalk away from the ring. I laid back down in the dirt of the ring at his retreating figure, sighing heavily. Cas comes to stand over me, offering me a hand up. I grab it, pulling myself up.

“Give him some more time to come around. This was harder for him than the rest of us.” He was suddenly serious. “He’ll get there, but you know him. Broody as they come.” He nudged me with his wing and I couldn’t help but chuckle at the gesture. I nodded in understanding and the pair of us walked back up to the house.

This was harder for him than the rest of us. The words bounced around my head for the rest of the day. It makes sense. Azriel would have seen this as him failing. Not only failing me but his High Lord. Regardless of how hard everyone must have tried to comfort him, he would always blame himself, and only himself, for Rhys and I going under the mountain.

It also explained why Azriel seemed to be avoiding me. Besides that first awkward meeting, he always managed to find an excuse to not be in the same room as me if he could avoid it. I’ve been home for almost a month now and I had hardly seen him. The few times I ran into him in the hall, he would quickly and politely brush me. Not saying anymore than a few words in greeting or response to a question I might have asked him. Be patient. I could do that. But it was hard to ignore the sting in my chest every time he brushed me off. We were practically joined at the hip before I left. I fit seamlessly into the fold of the trio but now Azriel felt like a stranger again.

My mind was too full of thoughts to begin to try to settle down, so after I bathed the dirt and sweat off, I changed into a loose nightgown that almost went to the ground and padded off for the library. When I got to the door, it was slightly cracked, light from the fireplace filling even the hallway with its warmth. It was like the room itself was calling to me and as I stepped in. Above the crackle of the fire, I made out the sound of pages turning, of fabric rustling as someone shifted on one of the couches in the room. I searched for the source of the sound and found none other than Azriel lounging with a book propped open on his lap. He didn’t seem to notice me until one of his shadows snuck off his lap and slithered over to my feet, wrapping around them like they always did.

He closed his book and glanced over to where I stood in the doorway. Something flashed across his eyes that I couldn’t decipher before it faded away. He cleared his throat and said a generic greeting. My heart sank as I saw him mark the page he was on in his book, and place it on the end table to his right. I tried not to pout as I said. “Don’t leave on my account.” I said, keeping my tone light to hide the oily feeling pooling in my stomach. The shadow at my feet seemed to curl in tighter to me as Azriel went to stand.

“I was just finishing up anyways.” He couldn’t seem to meet my eyes. “The rooms all yours.”

“Azriel…” I don’t know what I was going to stay. Maybe beg him to stay with me, maybe start shouting at him but I know none of that would help, would only make both of us feel worse. Be patient with him. So I bit back all the words I wanted to say to him and simply said. “Good night.” He called to me as he headed out of the room, his shoulder just barely brushing mine as he passed by me. The room suddenly felt too cold so I willed the house to put the fire out and walked out, heading back to my own room suddenly feeling very tired.

I crawled under my covers and tried to push the thought of Azriel’s eyes out of my mind as I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

I sensed it. I was back under the mountain. Nonono. This can’t be happening but I saw it all out in front of me. Rhys was in front of me, standing on the dais with Amarantha standing next to him. I almost broke down, knees buckling, when I saw that all-too-familiar mask of indifference grace my brother's face. I tried to call out but my voice wouldn’t come out, feet locked in place as I stood and helplessly watched as the red haired female reached a finger under Rhys chin. Bile raised in my throat as I saw her whisper something to him, something I couldn’t make out. When I tried to reach out for his mind, I was met with nothing more than those iron thick walls he built up. Amarantha’s eyes locked on mine and it was like she set me on fire. My skin burned, the string of her breaking my bones, of the attors smacking me down everytime I said something out of place. Finally I seemed to find my voice, but only a scream ripped from my throat at the phantom pain. Her red lips curled into a cold smile. “Welcome back pet.” another scream made its way from my throat.

I flung myself into a sitting position, jolting awake from the nightmare. My lungs ached as I gulped down air. My skin still burned and I threw off my blanket, pulling my knees to my chest. I almost screamed again as I realized the presence of something, someone, in my room.

Azriel’s soft voice said my name. “I heard you scream, I thought…” My eyes finally adjusted and I could make out his frame. “I’m sorry. I'll go.”

“No.” I rasped, throat raw. I must have actually been screaming. That explains his presence in my room, kind of. My hand went up to my neck attempting to rub away the pain in my chest. The pain didn't stop the request that bubbled over my lips. “Please. Stay.” I saw him go still, turning back around to me. Even in the dark, I was able to find his eyes, wide open as they locked on mine. Tears welled up in my eyes and I tried not to sniffle.

He whispered my name again. “Just go back to sleep.” He was starting to turn around again. My body reacted faster than my mind, I reached over the large bed, reached for his arm. “Please.” It was all I could get out. Please stay. Please talk to me. Please can we pretend that all of this didn’t happen and please be my best friend again. So many things tied into that one word. It’s almost like he sensed it and he sighed, relaxing into my touch.

“Only until you fall back asleep.” He sounded exhausted and his tone made me feel heavy all over again. He still shuffled in behind me. I tried not to think about the fact that when I went to tuck myself into his chest that I was met with bare skin. Resisted the urge to trail my hand down along those perfect abs, to the deep vee that I knew laid beneath them. I just buried myself deeper into his side and I felt his wings wrap around me, shielding me from the world around us as I drifted back to sleep. The smell of cedar lulling me into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up feeling more rested than I had since I’ve been back home. I knew he wouldn’t still be here but my hand still reached out to the side of the bed he’d been in, still warm. He had stayed. That explains why I slept so well. His scent lingered in the room and not caring how desperate it might have seemed, I buried my face into the pillow he had been laying on. I let his scent surround me and calm me down. A knock on the door had me groaning but sitting up anyways.

‘You didn’t come to breakfast so I wanted to check on you…” More said as she opened the door, she looked around as she spoke and her face fell slightly before continuing. “I had Nuala make you a tray in case you were hungry when you woke up.” She held a small wooden tray in her hand and I beamed at her, touched by the small gesture from my cousin.

“Thank you.” Was all I could get out, tears threatening to fall at the kindness in her action.

“I heard you last night.” She spoke quietly as she walked to the edge of my bed, sitting down at my feet. “I know I wasn’t there, but if you ever need to talk, or just someone to listen to. I’ll always be here.”

“You don’t need that stuff in your head too. It’s bad enough it's mine.”

She said my name in a concerned tone and I waved her off. “Don’t we have some books you need me to finish?” I said, deflect. She sighed sensing she wouldn’t win this one.

“Maybe we should take a break from the library today.” My face dropped as I thought of what I could possibly do with my day if it wasn’t reading with Mor. “I need to go shopping for some stuff, start looking around for Solstice presents and I haven't had a proper shopping buddy…” She trailed off, giving me a full megawatt smile.

“Alright let's go, before you start batting your eyelashes at me.” I playfully rutted her in the ribs and she threw her arm over my shoulder.

I haven't gone out to the shops in Velaris since I’d been back home. A part of me had forgotten how beautiful my home truly was. I tried not to stare in awe at the new vendors, the smell of food lingering in the air. People walked to and fro, running errands for the day. Mor and I had found one of my favorite dress shops and all but pulled me into the shop.

The designer was known for her slightly scandalous fashion. Floor length gowns with cut outs that left little to the imagination but were still heartbreakingly gorgeous. By the time Mor and I left, our arms were full of bags and I still had a few more dresses to pick up that needed to be altered.

We flitted in and out of more stores until the sun was starting to sink behind the horizon. When I noticed where we were I almost suggested we stopped by Rita’s but my shoulders were starting to hurt from the weight of the bags and Mor wouldn’t be able to winnow us into the house if we did have a few drinks nor did I even want to think of carrying them back.

So when we finally checked out from the last store, Mor having purchased a honestly hideous printed shirt for Cassian, we joined arms and started the walk back to the townhouse.

After dropping off all of my new things in my room, I knew I had to go apologize to Rhys. Armen could wait, if I ever bothered to say sorry to her. She wouldn’t hold it against me either way. Our relationship was more antagonist than anything else anyways. So I put the clothes into my closet and padded off to find Rhys.

Eventually I found him in his study. He didn’t look up as I closed the door behind me. I called his name. Still nothing. So I walked over to his desk. I noticed he was clutching a letter in his hand, holding it so tightly that it was starting to crinkle. I went beside him and soothed the letter out of his hand. My face paled as I read carefully over the words.

Feyre was marrying Tamlin.

The letter wasn’t an invitation. Just a simple announcement that would be extended to all high lords when one of them married. I dropped the piece of paper like it had burned me. I grasped for the right words to say to my brother, but when he looked up at me they all faded away. Agony I had never quite seen in them before knocked the breath from my lungs.

“I know I have no reason to be upset. I should just be happy that she’s happy. But I can’t find it in me.” He stared at the tattoo on his hand. “I’ll never see her again. Not after she marries him. I might get glimpses at balls but I’ll never really be able to see her.” Never be able to see her because we both know how Tamlin treats the people he loves. The gilded cage Feyre will be locked in the moment she says “I do”. I gave myself a moment to mourn for the girl. But I know there was nothing either of us could do in this situation. So I did the only thing I could think of. I strolled over to the bar cart in the corner of the room and poured both of us a few fingers of whiskey. He eyed it carefully as I passed him the glass. He took it out of my hands and knocked it back in one fluid motion. I did the same with mine. Holding out the glass for more, I poured him another. We just sat drinking until the familiar flush started to creep onto my face. Rhys hasn't said much, neither of us have. Content with drinking away the pit in both of our stomachs.

“I love her.” He said after he finished his third glass. He didn’t sound. In fact this was the most sober I think I had ever heard him

“I think I’ve loved her since I first saw her in the spring court. But I know I loved her when she offered herself in place of Tamlin. This brave human offering to save our entire world, who before that moment would have let her tear her to shreds.” He grimaced, as if the very thought disgusted him.

“So tell her.” I said with a shrug. He glared at me.

“You know it’s not that easy.” I did know. But I wanted him to be happy. I didn’t want him to have to sit here and drown out his sorrow while Tamlin got to play hero. Tamlin, who sat around while my brother risked his neck time and time again to save Feyre. He slumped down into his chair and laughed at the ceiling.

“The mother can be a real bitch sometimes. I don’t know what I did to deserve all this good fortune.” His voice was bitter and truly didn’t know how to respond. I went to pour him another glass but he put a hand over his glass.

“As much as I appreciate what you’re doing. I think I need to go to sleep before I march into the Spring Court and drag her out. Regardless of if she’ll hate me or not.” His eyes soften as he looks at me. “You should head to bed soon too. I don’t need to look into your mind to know you’re going a million miles a minute right now.”

He wasn’t wrong. My thoughts had been roaring around in my head since I read that letter. It wasn’t hard to put myself back into Feyre’s shoes. My heart panged for this selfless girl. How long until the cracks in the foundation started show and she would be pulled into the storm that is Tamlin. I nodded in acknowledgement of his words. Putting the cork back onto the glass bottle. I rose from my chair, rolling my stiff shoulders. Rhys and I both returned to our respective rooms.

Hard as I tried, I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned but couldn’t get comfortable. I had run out of the sleeping tonic a few nights before so I just accepted that sleep wasn’t going to come. I made no move to get out of bed though. I just curled my covers tighter over me. When the sun peeked through my curtain. I didn’t get up. I didn’t go to training. I didn’t even get up from my bed until mid afternoon, just going far enough to use the bathroom. Immediately crawling back into the warmth of my bed.

Someone had knocked on the door and I pretended to be asleep when I heard the door click open. I ignored the smell of cedar until I felt a shadow sweep across my bed, settling by my face. If it knew I was asleep, it didn’t respond to its master. But it also didn’t leave when my door softly shut. I just turned to face away from the ripple of blackness. Not wanting to deal with the comfort the small action granted me.

When I finally left my bedroom the next day, I learned Rhys had behaved similarly yesterday. The two of us floating around the house. We were bad enough that the others cleared out of whatever room we were in. I couldn’t find it in myself to really care enough to knock it off.

This continued for the remainder of the week leading up to the date of the wedding. I expected the same behavior as I woke up the morning of the big day. But when I walked into the kitchen, Rhys was sitting around the table with Cassian and Azriel, head thrown back in laughter. He turned his head to me as I walked in and smiled at me.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better.” I grunted at him. Walking to the fridge I pulled out a bowl of fruit and swiped a couple pieces of sliced strawberry. He hummed in response and Cassian spoke up.

“We’re going to the cabin later, if you want to come with us. We’ll need someone to help us finish all this booze.” He gestured to three large boxes that were occupying the floor of the kitchen. I raised an eyebrow to Rhys and he shook his head. Drop it. He spoke in my head. I shoved him out and when I looked back at him, he looked hurt.

“Boys, can I speak to my brother alone?” The two looked confused but stood up from the table regardless.

“You don’t approve?” Rhy asked plainly. I scoffed.

“They might not know what today is, but I do,” I snatched the unopened bottle from his hand. “If you want to drink yourself stupid, I won’t stop you but that doesn’t prevent all of this from happening.” He made a lunge for the bottle and I was somehow able to keep it out of his grasp. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers.

“What do you want me to say? That I would rather her marry anyone else than him? That I wish I was the one that she was happy to see. That I wished she would change her mind…” He trailed off. Eyes seemingly far away. Horror washed over his face.

“Rhys?” I spoke softly, wondering if I pushed him too hard.

“I have to go.” Was all he said and before I could catch him, he had winnowed away.

I had been on edge since Rhys disappeared with no sign of where he was going to. It hasn't been more than an hour but I was about to wear a hole through the rugs in the hallway with my pacing. Suddenly, I heard Rhys in my head. Grab Mor and meet me at the big house. I didn’t respond. Just went to find Mor, she must have received a similar message because when I got to her room she was already waiting for me. She didn;t ask any questions, merely grabbing my arm and winnowing us to the house we rarely ever used. When we arrived to the house I nearly gasped as I saw why Rhys had disappeared so suddenly. I just had time to make out a satin slipper as it was chucked with deadly precision right at Rhys’ head. She had barely launched the other one at him before she stormed off up the stairs. Rhys was all but growling as he stalked over to us. “That went well.” Mor snorted at him and this time Rhys actually growled at her before stalking over to his own room.

We didn't see or hear from Feyre for the rest of the night, the three of us eating in silence. I felt the tension rolling off of Rhys when Nuala and Cerridwen informed us that Feyre hadn't eaten the dinner they had left for her. My stomach sank and I avoided the stare from my brother. He had asked me to go check on her. Saying that I could offer her some company. I didn’t have it in me to talk to her yet. Didn’t want to make this day, this decision, about me. And I know going into that room I would see a younger version of myself I wasn’t ready to face.

The next day, Rhys had insisted on her joining us for breakfast. She came stomping down the stairs. “I’m not a dog.” She sneered at him before taking a tentative seat at the table.

She looked around and her eyes locked onto mine, recognition sparkling in them,

“I remember you. You were under the mountain. What are you doing here?” Her tone was surprisingly pleasant, a stark contrast from every word she had said to my brother.

I introduced myself. “I’m his sister.” She laughed at that.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” It was hard to bite back my comment while I looked at her. It was like looking into an old memory, the dark circle around her eyes, the way the light had completely vanished behind them. She didn’t even look like this under the mountain. Tamlin had broken her completely. I’m sorry for you. I didn’t say that though, instead just responding with a simple.

“You get used to it.”

“I doubt that.” She snorted and started picking at the food in front of her.

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dumbkiri · 6 months

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𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝔾𝕠𝕛𝕠 𝕊𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕦 『4』

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏᴜʀ, ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ: ɪɴ ʜᴇʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ

WARNING: BLOOD, STABBING, HARM, ETC

When she first received Nami's Miracle, [Name] was learning how to use her blessed energy. Then she was assigned a particular job that could have ended her life. Sometimes people hate the answer, no.

Again this is part one of this very long chapter. Part two will be uploaded shortly. Let me know if you want to be a part of a tag-list!!

“She’s going on a mission by herself?”

Shoko turned around in her seat and watched a very out of character Satoru talk to their teacher, Masamichi. He wasn’t one for caring for others and [Name] was no exception.

They all trusted in her technique to exorcize curses and believed she could do anything with it. Her power level was just as strong as Gojo Satoru’s.

“Your caring side is showing, Satoru,” Suguru teased and the white haired male turned around with his finger pointing at Suguru accusingly.

“You were the first one to speak about her solo mission! I was only speaking up for yourself since you won’t do it. Anyways,” Satoru turned his attention back to Masamichi, “this mission is too tough on a first year like her, don’t you think? I can handle it within a minute.”

“Here he goes again with his ego,” Shoko snickered and tossed the lollipop in her mouth around with a cheeky smile on her round face.

Knock knock

“Excuse me.” [Name]’s gentle voice was heard on the other side, “It’s [L.Name] [Name], I’m here for my mission.”

Satoru disappeared instantly from Masamichi’s view and reappeared at his desk acting laidback. His long legs were crossed on top of his desk and his hands were in his pockets, his chair leaning back with his weight.

“Talk about desperation,” Suguru teased.

“And he said it was unfair to choose a favorite first year student.” Shoko added more flames to the fire.

“Would you two shut it?” Satoru harshly whispered then the door slid open with [Name] walking in all her cute glory. She was as tall as Utahime, but was nothing like her fierce nature. [Name] was calm and sweet just like her blessed energy.

“Welcome, [Name], I want you to know that your mission comes straight from the higher ups and they requested for you specifically.”

“The higher ups? You mean like The Elders?”

The three second year students could tell she was very confused by the whole thing. They said nothing though because they wanted to hear the specifics of the mission. It was an odd request for a first year like her to be requested by the council of old men.

Masamichi nodded his head and explained some more, “They have concerns of cursed wombs being born. As such, people with cursed energy or any type of cursed technique cannot fight them else they’ll be born and become a special grade.”

“Oh,” [Name] said with a tilted head and blank face, “you said wombs?” She went back to her normal expression of confusion and began to ramble on in fear, “Please don’t tell me there is more than one. If there is more than one, why is this a solo mission? I’m only a first year and sure, my blessed technique is one of a kind, but I just received Nami’s Miracle. And now I’m really not sure this mission is suited for me. I’m not invincible and I can seriously face some fatal injuries, you do know that right? The Elders know that I can-”

She stopped herself from speaking any more because now it all made sense. She could die on this mission. The Elders surely know this and it scared her. The words of Naobito Zen’in ringing in her ears.

“Many are afraid of a little girl like you using such an unknown energy that they cannot comprehend. But if you accept the proposal I gave you, you don’t have to be afraid of death.”

[Name] took a deep breath in and reassured herself that she could handle this. She is the potential vessel of a goddess. If the human side of herself could not handle these demons then she is not worthy of Nami’s power. “I apologize for my rambling. I may have gotten ahead of myself and I show no disrespect to the higher ups. Is there anything else I should know?”

The second years were observant to the quick flip of the switch she had. Their teacher spoke up with the clearing of his throat. Masamichi knew [Name] was a hard-working student, but her freedom was far from her reach.

“When you finish this mission, you are going to become a special grade sorcerer. The higher ups will also grant your clan immunity from prosecution.”

“Immunity from prosecution?” [Name] questioned nonchalantly. She had to keep this front up because The Elders were really pissing her off with this mission, with their ideologies, with their insensitive thinking. They already got rid of her family and the only reason she was still alive was because she inherited the amazing blessed technique.

“There’s nothing left in my clan besides me. Immunity means nothing to me. In the end, they’ll still have control over me. All they ever care about is me, me, me. How do they get rid of me? How can they control more of me?”

She bowed her head and apologized to the tall man, “Again, I’m rambling. I shall be going now. This mission is very important for a first year like me. I won’t disappoint the others.” [Name] swiftly turned around and began her journey to her death. No, she couldn’t think like that. This could be her new beginning in Jujustu. She could prove to every doubter that she was strong and that she will remain.

“Hey, pretty girl.”

[Name] stopped at the door and in surprise looked over her shoulder to see her upperclassman, Geto, give her a kind smile. He was definitely not calling her a pretty girl.

“Don’t die on us or Satoru would be very sad.”

Geto snickered along with Shoko, not bothering to hide the fact that they love teasing him. Then Satoru stood up from his seat and declared very loudly, “I don’t care if she dies! Don’t say stupid-” Satoru closed his mouth upon hearing what he said and panicked a bit.

He looked at [Name] and could decipher that sad smile she gave him easily. Her words crushed his very soul as she shrugged, appearing not bothered by his insensitive words. “You’re not the only one, Gojo-senpai. It’s why this mission is assigned to me, duh!” She stuck her tongue out playfully before walking away with a hum.

Satoru’s shoulders slumped in defeat and he sat back in his chair with a pout. He covered his head with his arms and grumbled underneath his breath. Geto leaned over and asked, “What was that?”

“Right,” Masamichi interrupted, he didn’t want to hear his boastful student complaining, “onto your mission. Mei Mei and Utahime haven’t returned from their mission yet. It’s been two days and you three are being sent there to help them.”

“They need help, but my small, little earth-worm doesn’t?” Satoru picked his head up and followed Geto and Shoko to their mission.

“Before I forget,” Masamichi fixed the papers on the podium into a neat stack, “[Name]’s location shouldn’t be far from where Mei Mei and Utahime are. She may be on the verge of becoming a special grade sorcerer, but she still is a first year. Show her that she doesn’t have to bear the loss of her clan alone.”

Satoru’s eyes widened, he sometimes thought about his clan being killed off. Although to him it seemed a blur with memories converging in on themselves. He wasn’t worried about his safety because he had the limitless and the six eyes. Satoru was basically untouchable.

[Name], on the other hand, was bound to the Elders for a reason he didn’t know why. She never talked about her family or how she got this new blessed energy. Everything was very vague when it came to her. She was sweet and sometimes she spoke out of line, but she was obedient and apologized.

“You can count on us!” Satoru exclaimed and began running off to the designation of his first mission.

……

[Name] opened up the car door and stepped out of the black vehicle with nerves wracking her body. Just ten minutes away, it was all sunny and the birds were singing. Here where she stood was dark and gloomy. The dark clouds loomed over her surroundings and there was a harsh breeze that came in once in a while. She really didn’t like the atmosphere of this place.

“Miss [L.Name], I will put the veil down now. It’s best if you go in there.”

[Name] turned around and saw a man giving her a cold stare. She never worked with this assistant before. “What was your name again, sir?”

“It is Aoimine Senji, miss.” He said without skipping a beat.

“Remind me of what my mission is Aoimine,” [Name] walked over to the edge of the cliff, her eyes casting down at the pool of water below her. She had an inkling of where the cursed wombs were at and how to get them out without any trouble.

“You are to get rid of the two cursed wombs at the bottom of this lake before they become a special grade curse. There are other curses around here, so I suggest you proceed with caution.” Aoimine directed and began chanting for the veil to come down.

[Name] watched the man disappear behind the black veil and she took a deep breath in. “Nami, please watch over me. I have a feeling they plan to kill me here and pass it off as a failed mission.��

The two bells attached to her waist chimed in response and [Name] jumped off the cliff with her arms in the air. Before the bottom of her soles touched the surface of the water, a lily pad appeared. With each step, a luscious green lilypad grew as her pathway to the center of the murky lake.

She kneeled down on the lily pads, the cold water soaking her clothes and shoes. She closed her eyes and began searching for the cursed wombs under the water. There was a familiar energy lurking underwater and [Name] captured its location.

Quickly, the small-like fetus was lifted above the surface with a lily pad. It popped up and [Name] touched it then bubbled it. She stared at it with awe as the bells on her hip chimed with the same reaction she had. The energy with the cursed womb wasn’t cursed energy. Well it had a small amount of it, but she couldn’t believe it.

“It has blessed energy,” [Name] whispered as she looked down at the bells and took them off her belt. She put the golden bells next to the bubble and they rang erratically with excitement. “Nami, this is…your actual child? That doesn’t make sense though. I was told you hated Sukuna…that you were a maiden tortured by him.”

“Gimme…back my…sibling…”

[Name] used her teleportation to dodge the massive swing of a beast. She hid herself among the trees as she examined the curse from far away. The bubble was safely in her arms and she had to think of a safe place for it to be in. Her dorm was a no-go, Nanami would kill her if he found a cursed womb in her closet.

Haibara! He wouldn’t mind as long as she explains it to him. He’d be understanding. [Name] closed her eyes and pictured Haibara’s secret floorboard entrance where they stash all kinds of snacks and drinks away from their party pooper, Nanami.

“I’ll come back for you,” She promised the fetus and the bubble popped in her hands. Her eyes opened up with a fiery passion to end this battle as quickly as possible. This was going to be her first fight with a special grade. This was going to be the moment to declare herself as Nami’s Vessel.

The curse was standing at a stance of 7 feet. It had four arms and a single horn protruding from its forehead. “Eat my..sibling..need to…kill it,” It growled again and [Name] appeared from the tree line with her eyes right on the special grade curse.

“Blessed Technique: Fallen Petals,” [Name] casted out an air attack and petals of roses began falling from the sky. The quiet and smaller curses that lingered in the darkness of the forest cried out as the petals touched them. It burned their skin and the pain was excruciating.

Fallen Petals will keep them away from her as she fights head on with the special grade.

[Name] tossed her bells in the air and casted out another attack, “Blessed Technique: Venus’ Melody.” The bells chimed once and loud, the note echoing in the forest and sending large ripples in the lake. Then a blessed weapon dropped in her hands, the bells tied around the hilt of the golden sword.

“Nami, this being before me, is also your child. Yet you continue to reject it unlike the other one because it pours out an extreme amount of cursed energy out. You had twins with Sukuna, didn’t you?” [Name] dodged the angry child of the Cursed King and sliced its arm off.

It cried out in pain and shouted at her, “Why me! I didn’t…ask to…be!”

[Name] was astounded by the speech, this special grade was strong. It understands language and could formulate a sentence. It had to end here. She needed to kill it here and now before it grows more in power.

Suddenly, [Name] was kicked into the sky. The twin’s shin connected with her abdomen with a huge amount of cursed energy. Her stomach felt like it was on fire and her grip on Venus’ Melody was almost lost. She coughed out a heap of blood and sucked in a deep breath, healing her internal wounds within an instant.

When she reached the peak of the ascent, she wiped her mouth and glared at the twin. Venus’ Melody vibrated in her hands and [Name] was out of the air, teleporting right behind the curse. She cut off another arm and jumped back dodging the strong legs of the monster.

“This twin has no blessed energy, if it did…as time went on the blessed energy would have devoured the cursed energy. It could completely wipe out the evil,” [Name] watched as the special grade looked at her with interest.

“You are sister. You are my sister.” It smiled at her as it pointed between the two of them with a childlike excitement. “Little sister, where did you take big brother? I can be…I can be nicer if I eat big brother.”

[Name] furrowed her eyebrows and lowered her fighting stance. She had to be on guard even if this cursed being was not. She didn’t know what to say to it. Technically, maybe? She was it’s little sister because her mom was Nami’s reincarnation, but-

“You’re hurting my head with this,” [Name] mumbled in confusion and shook her head. “Big brother will be safe with me. You’re too far gone to be saved. Nami- No wait, our mother cannot…she…”

I cannot save him as he is.

Nami’s gentle voice echoed in [Name]’s head with clarification. Even still, [Name] couldn’t say that to this creature. Nami instructed to end it and kill the cursed womb. She felt Venus’ Melody changing shape in her hand and she looked down to see that the sword in her hand had turned into a dagger.

“Do you know what a hug feels like, Haru?” [Name] asked, his name flowing out of her mouth with ease. Haru and Haku, the twins born of Sukuna and Nami’s relationship. Both were sealed away from Sukuna so they could die in peace and not in anger. Nami sealed them away because she knew one day she would save them.

But Haru was far from saving, the cursed energy overtaking his body. [Name] approached her supposed sibling and said, “A hug is something family members do to show their affection for one another. It reminds one another that ‘I am here for you and that I’ll never leave you’. Do you want to know how it feels?”

She was now standing face to face with the cursed being and Haru nodded his head saying, “A hug from little sister, please.”

His arms opened up and she jumped into them with her arms going under. She flipped the tip of the blade and felt him holding her tightly. “Sorry for cutting your arms off, Haru,” She apologized and the cursed being laughed, her body shaking with his.

“Haru forgives little sister for being mean.”

[Name] scoffed with a small smile on her face and she dug the blessed weapon into his back. “Blessed Technique: Holy Presence.”

She closed her eyes from the blinding light that grew in Haru’s soul. Her knees crashed into the floor and she felt the dagger in her hand break into a million pieces.

In order to save my son.

Nami whispered and [Name] opened her eyes to see a magnificent sight. She watched with tears in her eyes seeing Haru’s small body run around her in circles. His boyish laugh was filled with joy and a woman that looked exactly like her mother joined his side.

[Name] understood now. Nami got rid of a piece of her soul to save Haru which in turn destroyed the technique; Venus’ Melody. She didn’t want to lose Haru because he was a curse. Nami wanted her little boy back to join her in peace and happiness.

[Name] looked around and scurried to her feet. She ran over to a small seedling of a bush and dug it out. It was still growing, but it fit in the palm of her hand. “Nami, his soul can be transferred here,” [Name] ran back to the spirits and Nami looked down at her with wide eyes.

“It’s a mock orange shrub and really the only thing I can find is a seedling. Haru, do you want to-”

[Name]’s question was silently answered by the little boy jumping up in excitement. His arms were thrown into the air and he started shouting. She couldn’t hear him in the spirit world, but Nami told her what he said.

“She’s the best sister ever!” is what he just yelled right now.

[Name] smiled and shrugged her shoulders, “I wouldn’t know, but I promise I’ll watch over Haku as well. I can transfer his soul once I’m at the garden.”

No, Haku can become your guardian when it's time. You have many trials to face, little one. But you won’t be alone.

[Name] tilted her head and whispered, “Yeah, I know that now. I have older brothers watching over me.” A smile made its way to her face and she hugged the woman and child yelling out, “Group hug!”

She felt Haru’s arms around her waist and Nami’s arms around her shoulders.

I’ll be waiting for your return to the garden, little ones.

[Name] felt their presence leave with Nami disappearing and Haru’s soul resting in the seedling. She clenched the seed in her hand and teleported to the top of the cliff. The veil began falling and she saw the car parked where it was left.

“Aoimine, the mission is finished,” She opened the back seat door and peeked inside. He wasn’t in the driver’s seat. She straightened out her back and turned around, her eyes looking down at the weapon in a man’s hands.

SQUELCH![Name] took a deep breath in as she felt a blade dig into her side.

SQUELCH!

She cried out when the knife stabbed her again in the same spot.

“Damn it was easier said than done. Their theory was right, you can only sense danger from someone who has cursed energy. Too bad for you, my killer instincts aren't from that.” The unknown man chuckled with a sinister smirk. He let her body fall onto the tar street and she cried out some more.

“I’m going to be paid a lot for your assassination, girly,” He laughed in mockery as he kicked her to the side. “That assistant of yours was really weak too. He made sure the veil was still up saying something along the lines of you doing an important job.”

The man crouched down and his green eyes stared into her soul, “Did you do it? Get rid of the special grade and the cursed womb?”

[Name] blinked her tears away and scooted away from him the best she could. Her silence bothered the man and he jabbed his thumb into her wound eliciting a painful scream for her. His grip was tight around her abdomen as he dug deeper in, wiggling his thumb around.

“I asked you a question, now answer it.”

He demanded cruelly and [Name] screamed and cried some more. Her hand clenched tightly onto the seedling. All that was on her mind was that she needed to bring Haru back home. “Yes!” She cried out and left her body at the mercy of his hands, “I got rid of the cursed womb and special grade! Please, stop this!”

The man laughed and straddled her waist, flipping her onto her stomach. He was so heavy and her blessed technique to heal her body wasn’t working. He grabbed her by the hair and slammed her face down into the street. Her nose had crunched under the force of it.

“You must be wondering why your wound isn’t healing.” The man breathed heavily as he brought her hands to her back and tied them with rope. “It’s most likely because your blessed technique is focusing on the poison coursing through your body. I heard that your healing technique can only work on one injury first.”

[Name] blinked her tears away, the salty tears mixing with her fresh blood. This wasn’t how her mission was supposed to end. She saved her brothers, she lost two techniques, despite that she completed her mission.

“Hmm what’s this in your hand?”

Her eyes shot open in alarm and she wriggled under the weight of the man. He opened her hand easily and picked the seedling up examining it closely.

“It’s just a stupid seed.”

She glared at him from the side and his eyes drifted down to her. His confused face morphing into a conniving expression. “Oh, this thing must be important to you. Eh, don’t care!” He laughed and tossed it to the side, the seedling rolling to a stop by the cliff’s edge.

“Alright, my girl, I’m almost done with you. Just have to ensure the kill now.”

She felt his blade dig into her back and her head shot up with a scream of utter pain. His cruel laugh was mixing with her yells of fear. He had stabbed her in the back five times and in total of seven; his lucky number.

Her blood had splattered on his face and he smeared it with his sleeve. [Name] laid silent after the third stab, her blood flowing from the exits of her wounds. Her body was completely still and the man picked her head up by her hair.

He examined her face and taunted her to see if she would awake, “I’m going to crush that seed of yours, girl. Wake up and it’ll be fine.” [Name] didn’t open her eyes or flinch. The man hummed with dissatisfaction and pinched her broken nose. He received no reaction again and he dropped her face back into the puddle.

“Sir, we have to go now. Naoya Zen’in is requesting proof of her death.”

The man lifted himself off of [Name]’s body and he wiped his knife off with a hum, “She’s very beautiful. A shame she needed to be killed all because she rejected a man-child.”

“Sir, you can’t-”

The assassin rolled his shoulders and began exerting out cursed energy, “It’s time to go, Aoimine. You should also change out of your bloodied clothes.” The two disappeared in the evening light with Aoimine’s shadow technique.

The sunset’s light had settled on [Name]’s bloodied body. After a few minutes of waiting, her eyes opened up weakly.

“Haru��” She whispered and with much trouble lifted her hand out towards the seed. Sleep was calling her name gently and she had no more energy in her wounded body. Her hand fell down and her eyes closed with a tear escaping from disappointing Nami. Her body felt cold and empty, she was nothing without her new family.

Nami. Haru and Haku. Nanami and Haibara. Suguru and Shoko.

Electrifying blue eyes and white hair flashed in her head. His laughter and grin clenched her heart in sadness. She wasn’t going to see him again.

Satoru…

#x reader #anime imagine #manga imagine #x female reader #gojo satoru x reader #jjk gojo #jjk x reader #gojo satoru imagine #gojo x reader #the wife of gojo satoru

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bonny-kookoo · 11 months

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Jungkook: 𝓖𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓭𝔂 (Intro)

Jewels, Money, Shiny things- stuff he's been collecting before he stumbled upon you. Now the only thing he's greedy for is you.

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Cat Hybrid!Reader, Major fluff!, suggestive themes & heavy flirting, Primal themes (biting, grooming aka he licks her neck lol, scenting, manhandling), size difference because come on this is my content and you know my kinks by now don't act surprised

Additional Content: none yet

Masterlist: to be added

⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰ ⋱⋰⋱⋰ ⋱

Jungkook is humming to himself in a good mood as he cuts open a cardboard box delivered, knife cutting through the tape holding everything safely together.

Almost instantly you're in the room with him as well, ducking under one of his arms to catch a glimpse of what he's gotten delivered. "Hey- I've got a knife here, careful." He chuckles, gently pushing you a bit so you sit a bit further away as he pulls out the plastic wrapped item. "Oh, nice! I was worried it might be a little too small.." He mumbles more so to himself as he opens the vacuum packed item, fluffing it up as you watch with wide open eyes.

"You bought it!" You tell him, amazed, and he grins, opening another sealed back that contains a fitting pillow for the human-sized pet bed he'd bought for you. It was a little on the more expensive side for him- but to see your eyes sparkle like that, and watch you grab and drag is towards a sunny spot near his windows is enough of a reward for it.

It's something that you never really experienced prior to living with Jungkook. He's offering you more than just a home, or basic care- he offers love, a feeling of belonging, comfort and a sense of security.

His kind is, on earth, often times compared to dragons for their heavy and alligator-like tails and uniquely diamond-shaped pupils, but mostly for their behavior of collecting things. Food, money, candy- some even collect blankets or pillows or plants, there's nothing one won't attempt to hoard more of if it brings them joy or happiness. Jungkook himself is pretty tame for a Xiro- he only really hoards food and snacks at home, but has started to become rather fond of spoiling you instead of himself. He's got a whole collection of hybrid stuff- medications, supplements, snacks, collars and toys- it's all there, even emergency medical stuff, just in case, because you never know.

He's not only your owner after all, but your mate- lifelong companion, your protector and lover, and he won't ever give you a reason to complain about that fact.

He folds the cardboard box together to throw away later, before he walks over to you, playfully manhandling you around to lay in the, for him way too small, bed with you on top of him. "I might have to put it away again if you lay in it more than you want to be with me.." He chuckles, though you know there's a hint of truth in his joke.

Jungkook is awfully possessive when it comes to you and your attention.

"No, I'll always like you most." You purr quietly, and he offers a happy sounding growl before he closes his eyes, basking in the sun shining onto his body with you. "Nap time?" You ask, and he chuckles, nodding.

"Nap time."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Your favorite way of cuddling has become to sleep almost on top of Jungkook.

He's warm, like the sun, and strong enough not to be fazed at all by your added weight on top of his chest either. It also reassures you during sleep that he's still there, and that you're not alone.

Jungkook himself loves it too.

He knows it's sometimes tough to adapt your body to his nocturnal sleep schedule- but very amusingly to him, you're totally capable of sleeping anywhere he takes you as long as he's in reach. It's made it very easy for him to take you to work for example- his job being what brought him to you in the first place, though tonight he's simply offering company to his friends at the small restaurant one of them owns.

It's then that a couple of police officers walk in, clearly not there for simple food.

"Sir- can I check your papers for her please?" A more elderly guy in official uniform asks Jungkook, looking at you who's currently sleeping rolled up in a blanket-burrito on one of the nearby chairs close to Jungkook. It's common for law enforcement to check ID's of hybrids these days, since a lot of them are illegally trafficked on to his planet, cases rising rapidly for reasons no one's entirely sure of yet. It's a little sad to him how earth and humans seem to try and 'get rid' of your kind so shamelessly- but he's no politician, nor does he want to really involve himself into this mess at all.

He's got you, and that's all that matters.

"Sure." He says, used to the procedure as he moves to grab his bag to fetch his wallet. "I only got her identification card with me though, I hope that's alright." He mumbles, pulling out the card in question before he gets out his own, already aware that that's gonna be asked next.

"That should be fine. Just gotta match up the ID tattoo on her to make sure if you don't mind." The officer says, and Jungkook nods.

"Yeah sure." He offers, moving towards you to carefully run a hand over your shoulder first as to not startle you on accident. "It's right here." Jungkook shows the inside of your ear, the officer matching it up by sight with what's written on your ID card, before he nods and gives him back his items.

"Thanks. It's just a routine thing- cases have been popping up left and right these days.." The man sighs, writing something down in a booklet. "Her medical records all up to date?" He questions, and Jimin nods.

"She's scheduled for tomorrow for her yearly vaccinations. They're expiring in two months I think, but we wanna travel soon so I wanted to get it done sooner rather than later." Jungkook chats, and the officer nods.

"Very good. If only everyone was like this.." the man sighs, watching as his coworker seems to argue a bit with a young man and his own hybrid next to him. "I won't bother you any further. Have a nice night." He offers, before leaving to aid his colleague in the argument he's involved in.

You move around a little, wiggling closer to his chair as he sits down again, both Jin and Taehyung emerging from the kitchen, sitting down. "Man, humans are a struggle.." Seokjin sighs, leaning his head on his hand. "Why can't they be nocturnal? I've been working all day, no breaks!" He whines, and you wiggle out your arm to reach out and pat the older man's head. He looks at you with squinted eyes at that, an action that years prior would've scared you-

But Xiro people are gentle giants, you've come to learn.

"Hah, if Jungkook wasn't written on all the documents I'd steal you right away." He complains, and Taehyung laughs at Jungkooks playfully angry face, his tail swiping from left to right.

"You keep your grabbing claws to yourself old hag." He insults the oldest at the table, who's mouth gapes open at the audacity of the youngest.

"How could you!" He scolds. "Younglings these days, wear a sleeve full of ink and think they're free to do whatever!" He shakes his head, making you giggle.

You love the carefree banter Jungkook has with his friends.

You love hanging out with them, their friendship something not commonly seen on earth anymore since the collapse. People aren't really too warm anymore on earth, rather concerned with finding a new villain to blame for everything wrong every day it seems like. So in a way, you're glad Jungkook chose to take you with him back when he volunteered to help give Hybrids back on earth their identification tattooed. It was a form of social work, a publicity thing created to familiarize humans with the Xiro people and their planet. It worked.. mildly successful.

Though it was a win in the lottery for you.

"I should probably head home, she needs to sleep in a proper bed." Jungkook says after a moment, and Seokjin nods.

"Hah, I always forget they sleep during the night. You could just leave her here though-" He offers, though he receives a glare from the younger alien.

"Absolutely not. Get your own, old man." He scoffs playfully, getting up to put on your coat for you. It's pretty windy on his planet tonight, so he's learned to bundle you up to prevent you from getting cold.

"Pah, I just might! Stupid kid." He growls, shaking his head. "Here, take those though. Poor thing is probably living off of nothing but pre-made meals." He gives you the bag full of boxes filled with what he knows are your favorite foods.

"I cook for her, thank you." Jungkook rolls his eyes, before he properly says his goodbyes, your hand in his as you walk home in the lowering suns of his planet.

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You remember how you'd met him.

He was intimidating to say the least- ink underneath his skin swirling around slightly, eyes sharp and piercings glimmering in the lights around him. His tall statue and rather muscular physique definitely didn't help his case either- so it shouldn't have been surprising to him how you'd glare at him as if ready to strike if he'd attempt to harm you.

"You're cute, really, but you gotta show me that pretty ear of yours." He'd chuckled softly, head tilted innocently and his smile almost docile.

A careworker wants to scold you, reaches out- but the man who's name tag read 'JUNGKOOK', holds out his hand in a silent demand to let him handle it himself.

"What can I do to make you more comfortable?" He'd asked, and your ears had slowly relaxed, surprise having caught you off guard. No one's ever asked you a question like that prior to him- you didn't know what to answer to that. "Hm?" He'd pressed softly, and you'd shrugged, looking around nervously. "Thats a pretty tail you have there. My kind has them too." He'd smiled, a grin more akin to a rabbit than the dragons his kind gets compared to, heavy alligator-like tail swaying behind him as if to show it off.

"...is it heavy?" You'd asked bluntly, and He'd laughed, shaking his head.

"Not really no. I guess because I grew up with it, I never really thought about that." He'd told you, casually readying his tattooing equipment while talking to you. "But as a child, my mothers would tell me how I'd always cause trouble with it. I'd empty any table low enough for it to reach!" He'd giggled, and you'd smiled at the thought of the younger version of him knocking down items from tables and shelves, too clumsy yet to quite think about it all.

"I burned mine on a candle once." You'd meekly told him, petting your own tail in search for comfort as you remembered the memory. He must have bright and colorful memories of his childhood- while you barely have anything worth keeping in mind, you'd thought to yourself.

"Well, you better make sure you don't get it hurt again, little thing!" He'd simply offered, before his surprisingly gentle hands had rubbed some numbing cream on the inside of your ear. "Or... maybe I could?" He'd asked, and at that, your ears had fully turned towards him, and made him smile. "Ah, adorable, really!"

"You'd.. take me in?" You'd asked, and He'd shrugged.

"I wasn't planning on bringing an earth-hybrid home-" He'd smiled, before the tattoo gun had buzzed to life. "But looking at you, I feel like I've found what I didn't even search for."

And today, the tattoo on your ear isn't just a Number.

It's also a memory, forever cherished by the both of you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

There's a low rumbling sound in his chest as he holds you close to himself, nosing along the crook of your neck.

It sounds awfully like those CGI-Dinosaurs in movies back on earth- and you know he's just as dangerous as the directors of these sci-fi movies intended their creatures to be. His heavy, snake-like tail has you wrapped securely to himself on his lap, hands free to roam over your body as if he needs to re-paint your image back into his mind using only his fingers and palms. His tongue traces over your skin, marking you, seemingly on a mission to find the perfect spot, before his teeth bite the skin, leaving his mark on yoir body amongst so many others, chuckling when you begin to squirm a little at his actions, your soft cat tail a stark contrast to his own.

You're like the prey in the python's grip- but this predator has chosen to feast on you in different ways.

"Hm.. are you happy, little thing?" He asks you, and you nod, leaning into him, your soft cat ears brushing against his cheek as you purr- a sound he's learned earth's cats make when they feel good, making him smile. "I'm glad." He offers, laying down with you as his tail curls around the both of your bodies, warm orange glow from outside his home bleeding in and bathing you both in shades of gold. It doesn't matter though how warm the suns on his planet shines-

Your favorite sunspot will always be him.

"I love you." He says, chuckles right after it. "Thays how you say it on earth, right?" He wonders, and you turn a bit, looking at him.

"Depends." You say, chin on his chest while his hand runs over your head, coming to rest on your lower back where your tail is just about to begin. "What do you wanna say?" You ask, and he hums as he thinks.

"I asked Seokjin if he knew an earth-expression for deep emotional care and longing. A word or sentence to make sure your mate knows how much you want to stay close to them, both physically and any other way." He says, and you blush, turning your head to the side on his chest.

"Hm, guess that's love, yeah." You nod. "How do you say it here?" You wonder, and he smiles, hand running up and down your back.

"I commit my life to you." He says softly, hand still before you look up at him. "Thats what we say here- and that's what I say to you." He mumbles, and you can't help but stare for a good moment.

Jungkook and you have been intimate before. You've told each other that you deeply care, that you're mates, that you're in a relationship. But it's the first time you ever talk about love, about something so meaningful as.. well, this. And hearing it from him in such honesty makes your heart race like never before.

"Dont just stare, little thing. Kiss me!" He playfully growls, pulling you up and closer to press his lips against yours, laughing along with you as you roll around in the sheets, getting lost in love and happiness together.

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Humans would look at you both in absolute confusion if they saw you like this, you think to yourself.

Freshly showered and dressed in comfortable clothes, you're halfway laying on the fluffy carpet on the floor, and also somewhat in Jungkook's lap. Well- your butt is in his lap, legs and upper body not- but he's positioned you like this himself, and you've got snacks and TV, so you don't complain.

He's humming the tune of the commercial playing to himself as he brushes out your tail with gentle strokes of the specially designed hybrid brush- your eyes growing heavy with tiredness after the things you've been up to not even an hour prior. Your neck and thighs still sting a little faintly from his lovebites he leaves every time you both make love. You don't mind them though, not one bit.

"Will you be okay later?" He asks, referring to when he'll put you to bed, while he'll go to work later. Jungkook would love to have you sleep close to him at all times- but sometimes, like today, he just forgets that you're not nocturnal like he is, and while you've adjusted somewhat to that, he should've saved up his physical acts of loving you for after he's done working, considering how much be tends to tire you out with that. He teases you a lot about that, but its also another endearing thing to him.

You never complain about anything. You adapt freely to his way of living- so he's doing the best he can to make it all as easy for you as he can.

You nod at his question, yawning as if reminded of your exhaustion, and he chuckles, hand smacking your butt playfully, causing you to whine in complaint- the skin still a little tender from earlier. "Sorry." He says- but you know he's not.

You stretch and turn on his lap, and he smiles watching you, hand running over your exposed stomach, before he leans in to kiss one of his bites at your neck. "Hm I don't wanna leave you here.." he complains a little, moving around to pull you properly on his thighs, though you just hug him, head leaning against his shoulder. "And you're freshly marked up too. Won't have to worry one bit about someone trying to steal you away from me " He purrs, and you just shrug, clinging onto him. "We could take the round bed I bought with us to my studio. Hm? You could always sleep there then, when I'm working." He offers, and you nod after a moment.

He laughs, before he gets up, puts you on the sofa for a moment to get everything ready for his plan. It's a great idea- that way, you'll be comfortable just like at home, and he'll have you close and won't have to worry about you.

When he later comes to work with both you and the round pet bed in a bag, his coworker just shakes his head with a slight smile, already used to the younger alien's actions from years of experience. You easily fall asleep under blankets he places over you after setting up the bed in the corner you choose for yourself, and he already knows he feels a lot better like this, knowing he'll be able to look after you more properly this way.

When his first client comes in, Jungkook explains that you're his- that you're his mate, not just a companion or pet as humans call it, and the young man is understanding.

"I've been visiting the carecenter in the capital." The man named Jimin says, as Jungkook puts down the tracing paper on his back. "I'm worried though- online research made it seem as if Algol isn't a good environment for them.." he mumbles, and Jungkook shrugs.

"She's perfectly healthy, and has been living here for more than two full cycles. Yeah, their circadian rhythm can sometimes make things a bit tricky, but I've gotten used to handling it whenever necessary." He explains, making sure to do his work properly. "You'll have to really study what they can and can't eat though. A lot of vegetables we eat here are poisonous to them, and some of them can't digest dairy well." He offers.

Jimin sighs. "That sounds intimidating." He huffs almost disappointed, watching you roll over in your sleep, tail limp as you're out like a light. "But they seem like such good company."

"They are." Jungkook agrees. "She's probably the best fitting mate I could've ever found." The artist shrugs, beginning to tattoo.

"I mean, they did mention in research that earth-hybrids and Xiro people are surprisingly very compatible, even in genetics." He informs the younger alien. "Have you heard of the couple that recently became parents? And the child is perfectly healthy too."

"Hmhm, I've heard." He nods. "Maybe it'll help our declining birth rates, at least a little."

"Have you thought about having one with her?" Jimin asks, and Jungkook nods.

"One day, probably. We both want that. But not right now. There's no rush." He says as he follows the lines he'd prepared on the skin of the older man.

"Understandable." Jimin nods.

And Jungkook doesn't stop softly smiling as he works, and thinks about your future together.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #hybrid reader #hybrid imagine #hybrid au #alien jungkook #alien!jungkook

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keiwook · 11 months

Text

WAYS ZB1 CARE FOR YOU

pairing zb1 x gn!reader

genre fluff

warnings mentions of food in gunwook and gyuvin’s

masterlist<3

— zhang hao

after a long and rough day at work, all you wanted to do was be in hao’s arms and rant about all the things that didn’t go as planned. zhanghao perked up from the comfy sofa at the sound of the door opening, putting his attention back on the tv after greeting you. “hao…” you frowned, dropping all your bags and trudged towards him.

zhanghao didn’t let your exhaustion go unnoticed and instantly opened his arms for you embrace. “tell me all about it.” after talking away your worries to zhanghao, he would offer to make you some tea.

“are you feeling a bit better now?”

— sung hanbin

hanbin had work to finish up as it was due the day after. he had been working on the report the whole day and at first, it didn’t bother you as you wanted to be an understanding partner for hanbin but that didn’t last very long.

“are you done yet?” you ask for the nth time, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend who was immersed in his writing “just a little bit more, dear.” sighing at the sentence you heard over a million times. seeing you wait for him made him feel sorry so he held your hand and occasionally squeezed it until he finished his report.

“i’ll be done soon, hold my hand in the meantime.”

— seok matthew

you had been stuck in your studies lately and matthew is concerned as you’ve been frequently stressed about homework and exams. so, to help put some weight off from your shoulders, he helped with chores and even cooked homemade meals for you.

“here, i made you some food. make sure you you don’t overwork yourself and i’ll be here if you need anything.” fondness was felt from his tone, making you glance up at him “thank you.. you didn’t have to. i’ll help with the dishes after i figure out how to do this question.”

“no worries, i can do them for you while you study.”

— shen ricky

ricky’s primary love language is giving gifts. he usually showers you with branded items and expensive food which you love, but whenever you want to give him something, it becomes overwhelming. ricky noticed this and told you that you didn’t have to give him anything but that added more to the burden.

today was your anniversary and while you were expecting a whole closet of designer clothes, you were handed a love letter instead. avoiding eye contact and ears flushed a bright red as if he was confessing to his crush, he waited for your reaction. you smiled at how cute the letter was, stickers and coloured pens covering the whole paper. “this is so cute! thank you!”

relieved, he continued “oh, i have more.”

— park gunwook

gunwook always helped you with everything. running errands? he helped you finish them. you were hungry? he bought you meals. you were feeling a bit lonely? he came to accompany you. your call was instantly picked up “hello? why are you calling me in the morning?” gunwook asked, sounding a bit worried as you never called him in the morning unless it was important “i’m sorry i cant come over later, i have a cold.” you replied, beeps indicating the call ended followed right after.

a few minutes later, gunwook arrived at your door with medicine and porridge. “here, eat this and then take the medicine.” he spoke, placing the items on your table. hands rushing to your forehead to feel your temperature. “gunwook, it’s just a cold.” he sighed, hands now placed on your shoulders.

“please take care of yourself just like how i take care of you.”

— kim taerae

taerae loved his guitar, maybe a bit more than he loved you but you loved his voice everytime he sang and the rhythms he played so you didn’t mind. some days, he would be playing his guitar all day and on others, he would be writing lyrics for a new song.

he shared to you all his songs for opinions and you loved listening to them, so he asked you for help again this time. he started by picking the strings, melodies forming and humming. his pleasant voice stuck in your head as he confessed his love to you through the song. “taerae, i think this might be your best one yet!”

“good, cause this one was for you.”

— kim gyuvin

gyuvin brings eumppappa for a walk everyday and you willingly tag along every time but for some reason you always feel like a third-wheel. all the sweet talks were for eumppappa and you just stood there, listening to gyuvin baby-talk his beloved dog.

while walking along the sidewalks, you saw an ice cream stand “gyuvin, look! let’s go get ice cream!” jumping excitedly at the thought of the sweet delicacy “eumppappa can’t eat ice cream, silly!” shaking his head as if he was thinking ‘i can’t believe you didn’t know that’. “not for eumppappa, for me!” you retort, hands now on your hips. gyuvin’s mouth formed into an ‘o’ shape, slowly realising what you meant.

“okay, fine but i get to pick the flavour.”

— kim jiwoong

jiwoong had always been a perfect boyfriend, always tending to your needs and wants. while he was practicing his script for an upcoming drama he was in, you were on his bed with your phone in your hands. to you, just having his presence was enough.

jiwoong wondered why it had gotten so quiet. no random gasps or squeals from you had been heard for quite a while now. he turned around to see you fast asleep, head laying down on the hard cover of the book. he stored the book away, pulling up the blanket to cover your body and placed a soft kiss on your forehead.

“sweet dreams, my love.”

— han yujin

playing games with yujin was a regular thing between you two, he would always invite you to play minecraft with him (psst, your beds were right next to eachother!)

you logged onto your shared server, seeing that yujin was already online. you walked over to his character and crouched up and down. ‘go into vc!’ you typed out in chat and almost instantly, you heard ringing and picked up the call. “hi!” yujin chirped, excited to talk to you. “what are you doing?” you ask, looking at his character chop some wood. “i’m getting materials for the house!” he replied, finished chopping. you decided to help him and soon enough, it became night time and hostile mobs started to spawn.

“watch out! there’s a creeper!” yujin rushes, swiftly one-hitting the mob before it exploded “you’re welcome.” he said as his character turned around to enter the house before you said “yujin.” his avatar slowly facing yours. “yes?” he asked, waiting for you to say something “you make my heart go boom boom.”

“i wish that the creeper had exploded instead.”

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httpknjoon · 11 months

Text

(re)starting over again | kth; 10

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 4.3k+

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | oh my god. hi, everyone! i'm still alive haha i apologize for the *long* delay. may wasn't my month 🙃 but now, i'm here and I split this chapter, so expect a 10.5. this is A LOT OF ANGST. no fluff for now. just full-on gloomy. also, i'll be replying to everyone who sent their asks soon! tysm for sending 'em. again, i apologize for the delay! enjoy reading :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

Someone’s a little gloomy today.

The sound of echoing thunder woke you up today, along with the rings of your alarm in your phone. 5:15 AM. You groaned as the brightness from your phone’s screen hit your vision. After five more minutes of just staring at the most uninteresting wall in your room, you get up from your bed to prepare for work.

Unsurprisingly, your head feels heavy and so is your chest and eyes. Every step of your bare foot on the ground strangely felt like you were floating into space. The weather is cozy and cold, but you didn’t even flinch when the cold water hits your skin. You stood under the shower, the heater not even on, just staring at your feet.

I mean, he could have told me.

The sentence popped into your head. There is this part of you that is in between the scale of angry and sad after knowing about Lily visiting the bakeshop and talking to Taehyung. You wondered if Taehyung even had planned on telling you or if he don’t think he should have told you. You are starting to think he was only friendlier with you these past few days because he learned what happened between him and Lily. You’re beginning to think that he is only nicer to you now after bad their relationship went.

But did he even owe me that? I’m basically a stranger to him.

Another idea, opposite the other one, crossed your mind. You always try to be understanding and put yourself in his shoes in this confusing situation. The fact that your boyfriend doesn’t really have any idea who you are always staying in the back of your head. It’s always there as a reminder that Taehyung doesn’t know you. And his not telling you that he met up with his ex-girlfriend days ago confirmed that you are probably someone in the background for him. Someone… who suddenly lives in this house with him.

And thanks to that confirmation, more questions were formed by your brain.

You shut your eyes close and turned your head up, feeling the waterdrops on your face. Sighing, “Who even am I here?”

Taehyung, what am I even to you here?

The question floats in Taehyung’s head over and over again. The pain and confusion in your voice also play on a loop, adding weight to his shoulders and thorns in his throat. He wished he could answer that question easily, but he can’t. Seeing someone who treated him with care and kindness break down in front of him because of him is a slap on his face.

Because Lily is your girlfriend… right?

More guilt built up in him when he learned that you were aware that he still initially saw Lily as his girlfriend after he woke from the accident. It surprised him to hear you say that you cannot be mad with that. When you said that, he almost instantly wanted you to be angry at him, to let out every emotion you were feeling at the time.

Because you are too considerate and kind… and patient with him and this situation you’ve been put into. You didn’t even have to stay; you could’ve just left him the moment the doctor told you about his amnesia and all. But you stayed… and even looked after him for a whole month. Looking back at everything now, he knew. He should have just told you.

He thought you would be mad at him for reaching out to an ex. He didn’t know how you would react if he asked about Lily. He didn’t know you and he admit that was his fault. He has been working on knowing you these past few days, but now after last night, it felt too late. He should have made an effort earlier than this. As much as he hates it, Taehyung’s list of should haves is getting longer.

Now, a tray of chocolate chip cookies bakes in this oven you two have in your kitchen. He decided to make some after having trouble sleeping. He was shifting and turning on his bed for hours, possibly because of two causes: his head injury and you. Earlier, you were talking about how much you’ve been craving cookies. He knows that his cookies cannot resolve what’s going on right now, but he hoped that they will make you feel better. Even a little.

Taehyung managed to sleep for a couple of hours but still woke up later two hours past midnight. He quietly prepares and bakes the ingredients for the cookies. He was quick as it was the easiest pastry he can make. By the time he was putting the tray in the oven, he heard grumbles of thunder.

Should I put it in the jar? Or…

Almost thirty minutes past three, Taehyung yawned as he waited for the cookies to cool down before he stores them. He looked around your kitchen. In these quiet moments, he is finally starting to notice some details in some corners of this place. Particularly, the kitchen. He wondered if he picked the color of the walls or what to put in it when you two bought the house. His curiosity begins to grow about what you built together throughout your four-year relationship.

He wondered how great everything was before he lost his memories of the last five years.

You were supposed to leave at six o clock. But you didn’t realize how much you took your time with your thoughts that you ended up leaving twenty minutes late than your plan. Rushing to leave, you didn’t bother for breakfast and ran straight to the front door in your scrubs and jacket with backpack and umbrella in hand. If you still have time to spare when you arrive at the hospital, you’ll just buy something in its cafeteria.

As you get off the bus, you speed-walk to the hospital. You were too in a hurry to recognize who greeted you along the way, but you just greeted them back anyway. By the time you reached the locker room, you were catching your breath with less than ten minutes left to prepare for your shift.

Thank God, Jisoo’s not here. You sighed when you looked at yourself in front of the small mirror in your locker. Your eyes… were puffy. It’s not that bad. But everyone who will look directly at your eyes would tell the difference. You hoped no one else would notice.

“Good morning!”

Your eyebrows raised. Julia’s jolly greeting filled the quiet room when she entered. A couple of nurses who were also there greeted her back while you hid behind your locker door, trying to think of a quick remedy or even an explanation for your eyes. Because next to Jisoo, Julia is your closest friend here. She started working here two years ago. Her kind and sociable nature made her a friend to everyone. You three immediately went friends during a mutual graveyard shift schedule.

“Hey, YN. Good morning.” she opened her locker, which was next to yours.

You gulped, “Good morning, Ju.”

After one last look in the mirror, you closed the door. Julia was busy organizing her things in the locker, while she continues speaking.

“Jisoo’s already on break for her wedding, right?” she asked, still not giving you a glance.

“Ah, yes. For only one week though.” You replied, trying to act normal. You don’t know if you should go or wait for her to time in since you two usually do—with Jisoo if your shift schedule match up.

“You know, my dress for the weekend is still in the— Oh, what happened?”

In a quick glance, she immediately spotted a certain emotion on your face. Concern was written all over her face as she stopped and faced you.

“W-What?” you chuckled awkwardly, looking away.

“Why did you cry? What’s going on?” she asked softly, still worried. “Are you okay?”

Oh, that question. You don’t know what the hell that question has, it always breaks you down. You bit your lower lip as you looked back at Julia. You tried to hold on to the strings that were putting you together.

You sighed shakingly, “Yeah.”

A small, sad smile formed on her lips, “You sure?”

You feel like if you try to say anything again, it will just turn into a sob. So, you just nod. Unexpectedly, she reached out her arms and hugged you. Julia knew something was wrong. Well, she can definitely read through your eyes and the simple quirk of your lips that you probably don’t know you do whenever you’re bothered or tired. She can even feel the weight you’ve been carrying in an embrace.

“How about let’s go out together later? After this shift?” she offered.

“Sure.” You agreed, washing down any effort to put a useless mask on your emotions.

The cookies that he left on the kitchen counter for you were left untouched. He left it in a Tupperware, something that can fit in your backpack, along with a small post-it, written: cookies u can bring @ your shift today :)

He likes to think that the Tupperware probably went unnoticed by you instead of thinking that you ignored it. But what if you did? The idea of you being mad at him scares him.

“I swear, whoever will eat those cupcakes would choke on rainbow sprinkles.” Jimin entered the kitchen when Taehyung was just spacing out. He hung his coat behind the door and put on his apron. “What’s up?”

“Hmm?”

Jimin went on, “I arrived twenty minutes late and you already made two batches of blueberry cupcakes, one tray of snickerdoodles, and a lot of banana bread. What’s going on?”

Taehyung stared at him for a second, having battles in his head if he should tell his best friend about what happened. Jimin didn’t fail to remind him about telling you about Lily. And if he learns how you reacted last night—Oh, just sucked it up. Taehyung exhaled.

“YN learned about Lily.”

Jimin raised an eyebrow, “You told her?”

“She found through Lily herself,” Taehyung replied and he can read the confusion on his friend’s face.

“Huh?”

Taehyung went on telling how you and Lily introduced yourselves, how you introduced yourself as his friend, how Lily shared that she visited the bakeshop just last week, and how you remained quiet and bottled up with emotions until you two went home.

“She was so upset, she didn’t want to talk about it,” Taehyung recalled. “But she just broke down and she is still so nice in the middle of telling me how she feels. She told me that she cannot be mad at me for meeting up with Lily or for everything else. Because she understands. She always understands and I’m sure she is a wonderful person– but… But I really didn’t just give us a chance. She reminded me that we also happened after asking me who is she in this whole thing.”

He paused, remembering almost every word you said to him last night. He was too busy chasing what happened five years ago that he ignored someone and something important in his present time.

“Then, who is she to you?” his best friend asked.

“I… I don’t know.” Taehyung sighed, unsure. “But she’s not a stranger. Calling her a stranger would be an insult. I know she’s much more than that.”

There was a few seconds of silence. Taehyung looked down, resting his hands on his working table. Jimin just pats his shoulder for comfort. He knew saying things like I told you so or anything close to that is just useless. Taehyung already knew what he had done, he don’t need more reminders that he probably fucked up.

“Well, you need to figure that out.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know anymore, Ju.”

You wiped off the tears on your cheek as you confessed. Finally, after a whole day shift at the hospital, you get to open up to someone. As soon as you two left the hospital and changed into your casual clothes, Julia drove you two to her apartment since you don’t really feel like going anywhere. She ordered pizza and non-alcoholic drinks, which were delivered just minutes after you two arrived there.

No time was wasted. She didn’t even have to ask again for you to open up. For the last forty minutes, you’ve been telling whatever you feel like sharing to your friend. It did take off some weight on your chest as she listened and nods.

“I mean, I know that he’s just trying to know what happened between him and his ex. But I cannot understand why he didn’t tell me… Or maybe ask me about it. I know something about it. He told me how they broke up years ago. He told me what went wrong. Just like how I shared experiences with my past relationships too. And that’s how it used to be.” You reached for another tissue Julia offered. “We used to tell each other everything. Communication and honesty always mattered to him.”

“And it would have been nice if he let me know about his plans on talking with Lily. It’s perfectly fine by me. But he didn’t and now I’m starting to feel that he sees me as nothing. Just a person around him, who lives in the same house as him—or worse, he sees me as someone who just looks after him… like his nurse.”

The last thought squeezed your heart out. Taehyung even had a hard time introducing you yesterday to Lily. You took the initiative to introduce yourself to his ex as his friend. You don’t know what to feel about it. Should you be mad or sad? But can you blame him? You can never blame Taehyung. You always try to understand what he went through with that accident and what he is going through now. But as much as you hate to admit it…

“I feel like I’m burning out. I’m fucking drained.”

Another tear rolled down your cheeks while you shake your head. Saying that sentence felt like a confession of a crime. You don’t know why. You didn’t follow with another sentence again. Julia gave you a glass of water to help you calm down.

“You can take a break too, you know?” she whispered as you gulped in the liquid down your throat. “You can pause…”

Julia was gentle with her tone and choice of words.

“I think, you've already done enough. You took a month's leave to take care of Taehyung, to at least help him adjust to these big changes happen. You waited for him to ask about you or your relationship, which he did– Well, he tried. You are great. You were nothing caring and understanding for him and your relationship.” She paused and held your hand, preparing you for what she is about to say. “But he… he just has his eyes on people he knew before you.”

You almost hissed with the harsh sentiment of your friend. It felt like someone pulled the band-aid off your fresh, unhealed wound. But still, it felt like you needed to hear that. Julia, on the other hand, saw you flinch and held your palm tighter.

She continued, “The Taehyung you met before the accident is different from the Taehyung you live together now. As you said, five years ago, he went through a breakup with his ex. That breakup may have caused changes in him that made him into the Taehyung you initially met.”

It’s complicated. But you get what she is trying to say. A lot of things happened in Taehyung’s life before you two crossed paths. He broke up with Lily, and his bakery began to hit success and invest in other stuff in his life. A lot of other changes happened. Then, you two met through mutual friends.

“And please, YN, let yourself feel things.” Julia spoke suddenly, making you meet her gaze, “It’s unhealthy. Be sad, be mad, or be happy. Or simply take a break if you feel like it. Don’t deny yourself of feeling anything. You can be mad.” She said it like a reminder. “You have every right to feel so. I know you’re trying to justify Taehyung reaching out to an ex behind your back as part of this knotty situation. But at least, out of respect to you, he should have at least told you before or after he did so.”

“That’s why you’re so burnout right now, hon. You’ve done nothing but give and give. You forgot about your limits too… Are you even still okay working in the same hospital after everything?”

She asked and almost instantly, you remembered the night of the accident. You were waiting for your boyfriend to pick you up in the same spot you always waited in. Then, you received this call. Next thing you know, you’re seeing him getting pulled out of the ambulance. Bloody and bruised. Your stomach twisted with the recollection of his state that night. Thankfully, Julia called your name, snapping you out of your trance.

“Just know that you’re not alone in any of this. You don’t have to carry everything on your own. Jisoo and I are always here for you. And I really appreciate you opening up to me now.” She smiled softly before pulling you in for another hug.

After that hug, you two moved on to lighter topics. You asked her about her preparation for Jisoo and Namjoon’s special day at the end of the week. She talked about Chanyeol, her plus-one for the wedding. She shared about how things are going and you’re genuinely happy to see her happy. You ended up leaving at seven. Julia offered to drive you home, but you kindly refused, saying you need to be alone for a short while.

“Okay, just let me know when you got home.” She smiled and of course, was enveloped in the warmest hug you’ve ever received recently.

Just like when you left home earlier, the sky was dark and gloomy as you wait at the bus stop. Raindrops began falling just minutes after you got on the bus. You sat on the farthest empty seat your eyes spotted. Watching the raindrop rolling on the glass window, you thought about Julia and everything she said.

Change.

You wondered if change can help your emotional burnout while leaning your head on the cold surface of the vehicle. Truthfully, working in the same hospital after the accident is difficult. The first day you returned after your month-long leave you found yourself stopping in your tracks at every spot your feet took you that night of the accident. You also don’t enjoy the pity glances or smiles you get from your colleagues who knew about the accident. There were times, someone would approach you and say something nice or motivational. You appreciate the effort but it’s making your work more of a reminder than a distraction for what happened.

You get off the bus with a new idea and even more uncertainties in mind. You still felt like a deflating balloon floating your way to get home. After your breakdown, you wonder how Taehyung would react. He seemed pretty quiet last night. The Taehyung you know would prefer talking with you to at least mend these issues. But now, you’re really just tired and would rather organize your thoughts alone.

And when you walked up your front porch, you stopped as you saw the lights on in the kitchen. He’s home early. You turned the knob, preparing yourself with any awkward tension that is always suffocating. Walking in, a delicious smell of flavor filled your nostrils. You’re not planning to say anything but then, he greeted you.

“Oh, hey…”

It was short but soft. His lips formed a small, tight smile. He was indeed cooking as he holds a wooden spatula and you can hear the crinkling sound in the pan. You noticed he is wearing a familiar apron and a headband, exposing his forehead, to avoid his jet-black hair in sticking on the sweaty corners of his forehead.

“Hey.” you greeted back, forcing a polite smile on your lips. “You’re home?”

Taehyung noted the lack of any emotion in your voice or even eyes. You just looked exhausted. But he replied, “Yeah, we kinda closed early. Sold out.”

He smiled again, hoping that maybe you would smile back at him. You didn’t. Instead, you zipped your lips. And there it is. The awkward silence took over--not only the kitchen—but the whole house. He looked at you and you looked at him. It didn’t even last a couple of seconds. You looked away again, scratching your eyebrow.

“I should probably go—”

“I’m making dinner. Maybe—"

You two broke off the silence at the same time. You waited for him to continue but his nod asked you to resume.

“Yeah, uhm, I should go to my room.” You mumbled, not meeting his eyes. You just can’t.

It’s Taehyung’s turn to scratch the back of his neck, “Uhm, I made dinner. I was wondering if we can eat together.”

You timidly shake your head, “I’m kinda full… I had pizza with Julia. But thank you for the offer though.”

You were about to leave, wanting to leave this room since you were having the hardest time breathing with the thick tension. But Taehyung called your name,

“I was hoping we can talk… about everything.”

You turned around, finally looking at him. Suddenly, his heartbeat was louder than anything else for him. He can already see the rejection on your face. Like you’re not in the mood for anything that had to do with him. But he wishes his deduction is wrong. On the flip side, you can see his fingers fiddling with the spatula as he said that.

You exhaled, “I can’t, Taehyung. I really had a long day. I’m sorry—”

“No, it’s okay. Don’t apologize. We can talk whenever you’re ready.” He awkwardly raised his hands for thumbs-up. He saw your worried eyes landing on the dish he cooked. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll store it when it cools down. You can microwave it later if you get hungry.”

A simple, worn-out nod was your only reply before leaving him alone. His smile slowly fades as he turned down his chin.

He waited. Patiently. The morning after that, he waited for you to leave for work before he does. He goes home before you do. He prepared breakfasts and dinners for you, but you always seemed to be running late going to work and exhausted when you get home. And the rainy season didn’t stop. Taehyung once offered to walk you at least to the bus stop when you had a graveyard shift. He’s glad you didn’t decline and walked side by side with him under the umbrella.

“You know, you don’t have to do any of this.” You murmured in the middle of that five-minute walk to the bus stop. You were just looking ahead as you resumed, “You’re not obligated to do anything with me.”

“I wanted to do this.” He replied, glancing at you, hoping that he will meet your eyes. But he didn’t.

You didn’t say anything anymore. Even when you got on the bus and he handed you the extra umbrella he brought. But he really did. Even though you two haven’t really done a lot of activities together, he liked doing things with you or for you.

Now it’s been days since you broke down, you two still haven’t talked about it. Jimin told him to be patient and give you time. But the more time he gives you, the more he felt like you were already slowly drifting away from him.

“Are you sure? We still have space for another passenger.”

Taehyung heard you from the living room as he pulled his small luggage out of his room. He wore a white collared button-down, with the sleeves folded before it reached his elbows, tucked in beige suit pants.

“Okay, Ju. See you there. Take care.”

Your smile fades as you ended the call. With every emotion washed out on your face, you glanced up at him. Your eyes simply scanned him from head to toe before you spoke, “Let’s go?”

Jisoo and Namjoon will be having their rehearsal and the following dinner in the same area as their wedding. It’s in the same event place as their wedding venue. The couple already prepared rooms for a few guests, so that you can stay overnight for the wedding tomorrow. You, Taehyung, and Jimin will be carpooling in a rented car, with Jimin taking the wheel for an almost two-hour drive straight to the dinner event.

“Be careful, it’s fragile.”

You teased Jimin as he helped you carry the wedding gift for your soon-to-be-wedded friends. Taehyung carried yours and his luggage to the car.

“I am careful.” Jimin scoffed.

“Oh, I apologize. I’m just worried. You do have small hands.” You jested that made Taehyung choke and laugh.

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” His best friend laughed dryly, squinting his eyes at you. “You two are bullies! It’s not that small.”

You chuckled once again before stopping when Taehyung opened the backseat door for you.

“Thanks.” You mumbled.

Taehyung sat on the passenger seat while Jimin took the wheel. In the first quarter of the ride, you still managed to join chit-chat. Jimin was the one who sparked up topics, which you were grateful for as you don’t know what would happen if it’s just you and Taehyung in this car. But as time went on, you yawned and slowly lost yourself to take a nap.

a/n: i'm thinking of updating/resetting the taglist for this series. kindly comment below if you still want to be tagged. thank you so much for your support <3

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [closed] @halesandy @boohoobabe @hopeonysus @taffyteffy @pnlpbnl @arusio @rpkth @cinnamonruts @xyahrinx @betysotelo18 @sugaslittlekookies @doublebunv @dahliasbouqet @lust-kth @aria-grace-scott @milkteallday @hoodalmighty @kiwuki @http-fayeradise @daydreamiies @starlight-night0 @chaoticbisous @mageprincess7 @byunniebaekhyunnie @hiimnothing @koreanaestheticc @shin-ie @blancflms @jeonkoookiee @satorinnie @rjsmochii @yoonglesdoll @somewhereinthestarss @turnthepageandbeburnt @heyjiminnie @bri-mal @teddybeartaetae @kaal-ee @nikkiordonez12 @motivatedprocastinator @butterflieshee @iamkookiesforyou

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1

#bts angst #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts series #bts imagine #bts au #bts amnesia #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung au #taehyung amnesia #taehyung imagine #taehyung fanfic #restarting over again kth

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logyisthemaincharacter · 4 months

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Raindrops & romance

Series link

A/n: I had such a busy day yesterday, so I didn't get the time to write anything. But here's the next part. I hope you're gonna love it as much as I do.

I'm standing in front of the door that splits Jack's apartment from the hallway. My heart becomes a victorious monster in my chest, thrashing to climb out. This is a date. My first date in a while. My first date with someone like Jack.

My palms start to sweat. I can't shake the nervous feeling that had been building since we made plans for this date. I want this night to be perfect, but there is also the possibility of disappointment.

As I raise my hand to knock, I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I can feel the weight of anticipation building inside me as I wait for him to answer the door. What if he doesn't like the outfit I chose? What if we run out of things to talk about? What if I make a complete fool of myself?

Despite my fears, there's a surge of excitement at the thought of spending time with Jack.

As I hear the sound of footsteps approaching the door, my nerves reach a fever pitch. When Jack finally opens the door, I am met with a warm smile that instantly puts me at ease. Ginger is standing beside him, wagging her tail. In this moment, all of my worries melts away, and I get filled with a sense of relief and happiness.

There he is! Jack Harlow, wearing an apron. The sight is unexpectedly charming and endearing. I can't help but smile at the sight of him, wondering what culinary masterpiece he had been working on in the kitchen. The apron adds a touch of playfulness to his already magnetic presence, making him even more attractive.

"Hey! You're early." He swallows a lump. "I didn't think you'd be here for another 15 minutes."

I bend down to give Ginger a pat on the head, her tail wagging even more vigorously. "I thought I'd see what I could help with."

"Didn't I say that I'm cooking?" He makes way for me to come in. "That means you get to sit back and relax."

"I'll be helping you clean, though." I take my coat off with Jack's help. He hangs it up for me. "Thanks."

"You look great!" He exclamates as I turn around, giving me a side hug.

I smile, looking down at my outfit, straightening the fabric of my dress.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'm gonna check on the food." He runs off with me slowly walking behind.

As I walk around Jack's bachelor pad, I can't help but be captivated by the unique charm of his space. The walls are adorned with vibrant artwork, each piece telling its own story. The furniture has a modern yet cozy feel, with plush cushions and stylish accents. I notice a collection of vinyl records neatly displayed on a shelf, a testament to Jack's love for music. The room is filled with an inviting warmth, creating an ambiance that made me feel right at home.

While Jack is working his culinary magic in the kitchen, the delicious aroma wafts through the air, teasing my senses. I admire the sleek stainless steel appliances, evidence of his culinary prowess. The countertops are immaculate, with neatly arranged ingredients and utensils, showcasing his attention to detail.

As I explored further, I discovered little touches that reflects Jack's personality. A shelf filled with books, revealing his intellectual curiosity and love for reading. A guitar resting against the wall, hinting at his musical talents. It's clear that Jack had created a space that is not only stylish but also a reflection of his passions and interests.

The table Jack decorated for our date is absolutely stunning! He had put so much thought and effort into creating a romantic and inviting atmosphere. The centerpiece is a beautiful arrangement of fresh flowers, nearly resemblancing the ones him and Clay got me the day we met, their vibrant colors adding a touch of elegance to the table. Soft candlelight flickers, casting a warm glow that makes the whole setting feel cozy and intimate. The table is set with delicate china and sparkling glassware, making it clear that Jack had a keen eye for detail. It's as if he had transformed his bachelor pad into a magical dining experience just for the two of us.

With each step, I feel a growing connection to Jack, as if his space is an extension of his vibrant personality. It's a joy to witness him in his element, putting together a meal with skill and confidence.

As I make my way back to the kitchen, my admiration for Jack only deepens. I'm excited to sit down at the table, surrounded by the ambiance of his bachelor pad, and savor the delicious meal he had prepared with such care and attention.

I place my hands on the countertop, watching him intently as he sways across the kitchen, "You really put effort into this."

"I wanted to impress you." His cheeks turn a light shade of red. "And besides, you deserve it after the long week you had to resist at work. How was it, by the way? You didn't text me much about it."

"It was a hell of an adjustment. And scary, too." I sit down on one of the bar stools. "Like, this time I can't screw anything up. I can't make mistakes. A real-life company is depending on me for their financial situation."

"But you're doing great so far, right?" He takes the pot off the stove and places it on the wooden board in front of me.

"I haven't been called in for any bad work or received any warnings. I think I'm doing alright." I watch as he places a different pot on the same wooden board. "Should I get something to drink while you take those out?"

"Yeah, that would be great, thanks. I'll wait for you." He takes the food out to the beautifully decorated table.

I walk over to Jack's fridge and open it up, searching for something refreshing to drink. Among the array of options, I spot a bottle of freshly squeezed juice. I grab it, feeling the coolness of the glass against my hand, and make my way to the dining room where Jack is waiting for me.

"No wine?" He furrows his brows, but his face quickly shifts in realization. "Shit! I forgot to buy some for you. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I think it's going that I'm going non-alcoholic with you. You're a good influence on me." I give him a playful wink.

With a suave and confident demeanor, Jack smoothly pulls out the chair for me. It's like something straight out of a romantic movie! He holds the chair steady, ensuring it's in the perfect position for me to sit comfortably. The small act makes me feel like a queen, like he is truly invested in making our dinner together a special occasion.

After gracefully pulling out the chair for me, Jack quickly moves to take his own seat. He tops both our glasses with juice, the freshness hitting my nostrils.

"I squeezed it this morning. It's pomegranate."

Jack dishes up the meal for both of us. I simply just sit and watch with hunger.

"Beef and broccoli stew." He states proudly. "I hope you like it."

Jack and I engage in lively conversation, our words flowing effortlessly between bites of the delicious food. The atmosphere is cozy and intimate, with the soft lighting casting a warm glow over our faces. We savor each bite, delighting in the flavors and textures of the meal.

The beef is so tender and juicy, cooked to perfection. And the broccoli adds a nice pop of green and a satisfying crunch to the dish. The stew itself has a rich and flavorful sauce that coats the beef and veggies, making every spoonful a burst of deliciousness. And of course, he made sure to scoop a hearty helping of fluffy rice on the side, creating the perfect balance of flavors.

"Would you like to move in with me?" I ask as I pop the last piece of broccoli in my mouth.

"Woah! It's only the first date. No need for such big steps yet." He chuckles and takes the dirty dishes back to the kitchen.

"But you can cook! Who wouldn't want to come home to this?" I slump behind him with the pots. "I can't believe girls run away from you."

"They run away 'cause I don't let them in." Grabbing the empty pots, he loads the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

We venture out of the apartment for the next part of the date. The city lights twinkles in the distance as we make our way through the bustling streets. The moon cast a soft glow, illuminating our path as we walk, with me holding onto his arm. The park is bathed in a serene darkness, with only the dim glow of lampposts guiding our way. The air is cool, adding a sense of tranquility to our surroundings. They walk along the winding pathways, enjoying the peacefulness of the night. There's a tiny food truck ahead so we stop to by some hot drinks. We pause at a quiet spot, sitting down on a park bench, and look up at the night sky.

"Tonight was great." I grip onto the cup tightly. "Thank you for making it so special."

"The pleasure is mine." Jack looks at me for a few seconds, smiling. "I enjoyed your company."

"Does that mean we're doing this again?" I look at him hopefully.

"Definitely." He pauses, taking a sip of his drink. "I'm not missing spending time with you."

My face is practically burning at this moment, and my stomach is swirling with butterflies, "Jack, I feel the same way."

Our eyes meet, and in this moment, a spark ignites between Jack and I. We share a glance filled with warmth and affection. It's as if time stands still for a brief second, and there's a magnetic pull drawing us closer to each other. In each other's gaze, there is excitement and potential of what our time together could become. It's a silent understanding, a silent promise that we are both fully invested in this budding connection.

We snuggle close together. The air is crisp, and our breaths are visible as we engage in deep conversation, our words floating in the night air like puffs of steam. The park is quiet, only the distant sound of laughter and people talking audible. We share stories, dreams, and aspirations. Our laughter mingles with the sound of the rustling leaves that are still on the trees.

As we engage in heartfelt conversation, the sky above us begins to darken, and the first few raindrops fall. We exchange amused glances and quickly scramble to find shelter, laughing as we navigate our way through the raindrops. I can feel the dampness seeping through my clothes, but the thrill of the moment overweighs any discomfort.

Just as we find a small overhang to take cover under, Jack grabs my hand, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Wait up, Logan," he says, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Let's not hide from the rain."

I raise my eyebrows, caught off guard by his suggestion. "Seriously?" I ask, my voice clearly filled with hesitation.

Jack's enthusiasm is infectious, and he pulls me closer, our hands still intertwined. "Absolutely! Come on! It'll be fun. I promise. The worst that could happen is that you get a cold afterward."

Taking a deep breath, I feel a surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I look into Jack's eyes, seeing the genuine joy and adventure in his gaze. With a smile, I nod, my heart pounding. "Alright, let's do it!"

We step out from under the overhang, our laughter blending with the sound of raindrops hitting the ground. I can feel the cool rain on my face, the droplets creating a symphony of sensations. Jack twirls me around, our movements fluid and carefree, as if we're the only two people in the world. In this moment, all worries and doubts fade away, replaced by the exhilaration and freedom of dancing in the rain with someone I'm starting to care about.

"Who knew dancing in the rain could be so fun?" Jack exclaims.

I chuckle, my heart racing. "I guess Mother Nature decided to be our DJ tonight," I reply, a mischievous glint in my eyes.

Jack twirls me around, his hand firmly holding mine. "Well, she's got great taste in music," he says, flashing me a charismatic smile.

We move together, our bodies swaying and our laughter contagious. The raindrops fall around us, creating a shimmering curtain of liquid diamonds. It's as if the world had faded away, leaving only the two of us in this enchanting moment.

"You've got some killer dance moves!" Jack teases, his eyes sparkling with delight.

I playfully nudge him. "Oh please, Jack, you're the one stealing the show with those smooth moves of yours," I retort, a playful grin spreading across my face.

We dance on, our steps becoming more daring and our laughter growing louder. The rain washes away any inhibitions, leaving us free to be ourselves, unapologetically.

"Logan, I've got to say, this is the most unique date I've ever been on," Jack confesses, his voice filled with genuine admiration.

I lean in closer, the raindrops mingling with the smile on my lips. "I knew from the start that everything between us would be surprising," I whisper, my heart swelling with affection.

As the rain continues to shower us with its blessings, we dance on, creating memories that would forever be etched in our hearts. I know that dancing in the rain with Jack is more than just a date. It's a celebration.

#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow x oc #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you #jackman thomas harlow

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anantaru · 2 years

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𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟐𝟒 — 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆/𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆

✦ kinktober day 24 — biting/marking feat. dainsleif : childe : xiao : tighnari x fem! reader | kinktober masterlist.

✦ warnings: biting/marking

✦ 𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐅

"strip." the ring around dainsleif's voice was dominating, greedy, as you obeyed him without a thought wasted, pulling the straps of your dress down which resulted in your breasts slightly spilling out from past its fabric, exposing them to his needy eyes. Dainsleif moved towards you, lifting your chin with his index finger before taking you in for a kiss.

once breaking his lips off yours, his hands began to roam over your body before nestling his head in the nook of your neck, tracing the sensitive skin with his warm tongue. You tossed your head back at every flick of his wet muscle, enveloping your arms around his body to have him closer to you. You could notice how his teeth grazed over your exposed flesh, the slight pressure dainsleif added on his movements were giving you trouble breathing, eyes scrunching shut.

"your scent is addicting, you know that?" you suddenly let out a small gasp as he bit down on your neck, it stung a little, in a way the pressure he put behind was almost enough to draw blood yet dainsleif pulled away almost instantly, blowing cold air on the small pulsating area. He upped his pace again, leaving your body quivering and shaking, your hands tangling into his hair so he wouldn't move his lips away from you ever again.

✦ 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄

childe's fingers traced over your body before you felt him pull you down the bed, having you lay comfortably on the soft sheets in the dimly lid room. The mattress was shifting upon him crawling over towards you, his body weight on top of your figure. "you can make things so difficult for me sometimes, you know that?" he whispered into your ear cheekily.

ajax continued to place small pecks on your cheeks, chin and jaw before going down your neck, licking all the way to your collarbone. A small surprised yelp fell from your throat as you felt childe suck down on your skin in combination with roaming his warm hands over your body. He haltered his movements on top of your clothed cunt, rubbing your folds over your damp panties. Your spine arched into his experienced touches, attempting to grind your hips upwards to meet his fingers yet in the end unable to do so because of his bodyweight caging you in.

the lingering chorus of his sucking and biting was making you shiver, watching him with half lidded eyes. "I'm not done yet." he muttered, his digits grazing over your clothed clit before hooking his fingers past the flimsy material, using his index and middle finger to spread your folds apart in an instant as he went back and forth. Childe's mind was running crazy, biting down on your collarbone yet again, his fingers and lips getting you closer to your goal.

✦ 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎

at first, it was more an accident than anything else. Xiao was fucking you for hours, faint layer of sweat visible right above his brow bone as he continued to rut himself into your tight cunt. The only reason he decided to sink his teeth into your neck was to muffle his own moans and not embarrass himself in front of you but the moment he did it, not to mention the moment he realized how wet and riled up you got from merely a bite, was turning it difficult for xiao to not do it again.

your body shuddered as you felt his sharp teeth on you again, only hovering over you but practically waiting to dig themselves right back into your skin. Xiao darted his tongue out to lick at the spot— before moving forward, biting down and slowly letting go again, only to tighten his next bite a bit more. At this point you were a whining mess, pressing your fingernails into his back as you tossed your head back, crying out from unbelievable pleasure. "do that again." you panted, your whole face growing hot with a sensation building deep inside your gut. Xiao enjoyed this as much as you did, attentive to every expression you showed him while you're gasping for air, closing your eyes to concentrate on the added passion forming in your body.

✦ 𝐓𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈

tighnari's fingers trace over the tingling spot on your thighs before easing his mouth back, leaving wet kisses along your flesh. He's slowly showing his teeth to you, a smirk prancing over his feature before he placed them on your leg, closing the gap. He didn't move, nor add any more pressure, rather did he clutch on that one spot until he was able to coax out a reaction from you.

your body was shaking, desperately, tighnari's spit spreading on your thighs as he lapped it up again. He didn't dare closing his eyes, knowing full on well you always gave him something to watch, whether it was your cute pouting lips or your lewd expression that was yearning for something else.

you could feel a growl vibrate in his throat, he was losing himself more each and every minute. Tighnari was way too good at this game, being a master at it, always knowing how to drive you over the edge with simple moves like that, his smirk wide and clear for your eyes to see. His teeth pressed down on your naturally soft thighs again, demonstrating his control over you when you yet again, moaned at the sharp pleasure that threw your whole body in awe. "perfect." tighnari muttered through harsh panting, "you're perfect."

kinktober masterlist.

do not! share, copy or repost my work. ✎ ©ANANTARU 2022

#genshin impact x reader #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact smut #tighnari x reader #tighnari smut #dainsleif x reader #dainsleif smut #childe x reader #childe smut #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia smut #xiao smut #xiao x reader #kinktober #genshin x you #xiao x you #childe x you

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cupidskissx · 11 months

Note

a funny fic about lestappen being caught doing the dirty by drivers/team principals?😂

Hello sweet Anon, I hope you see this, I’m sorry it took so long 🙈❤️

Now, I know you wanted funny, this has its moments, 2 lines probably, because my inspiration came mostly from this masterful artwork by @lihuiantipyretic so I hope you still enjoy this!

TW: light Dom/Sub, light choking

1.1K

Charles had seen Max win his third WDC from two car lengths behind, it was something to behold, him weaving down the straight after he passed the checkered flag. Then he’d been rushed off his feet, caught in the whirlwind, probed and prodded, cameras in his face. It wasn’t until the press conference that Charles saw him finally decompress, but something wasn’t right. Charles could see him shifting in his seat, he looked uncomfortable, antsy, and when Charles finally caught his eye he knew instantly.

Fuck.

Max held his gaze for a beat too long, eyebrows pinched, pleading, for the whole room to see.

The newly re-crowned champion, having taken the title off Charles, was looking at him like that in front of everyone. Charles crossed one leg over the other, hands in his lap.

If Charles was a weaker man he would have stood up and dragged him away then and there. But he’s not. As much as he wanted to, needed to, he couldn’t. They couldn’t.

It was another, agonising, 15 minutes before they finished. Their release prolonged due to the fact Max occasionally stumbled over his words, or floundered to recollect the championship winning overtake.

They barely made it into the bathroom down the hall before Charles was kissing him. “You okay?” He asked, shoving Max against the wall.

“Mmm, I am now.”

“Do you still need me to…”

“Yes, need you to bring me back down.”

“Okay, baby, you relax,” Charles pressed him into the wall, hands roaming over his chest as Max’s linked together around his lower back. “Let me take your mind off it all.”

Max nodded.

They didn’t do this so openly, so publicly, it’s something that remained hidden away in dark hotel rooms. But Charles couldn’t deny him, not now, not today, not when he needed it the most.

He got his mouth back on him, slid his tongue into his mouth, and one of his hands up to his neck. He cupped the flesh, the solid muscles shifted as Max tilted his head up for Charles to have better access.

Charles gently added more weight into his hold, Max melted into kiss, into him. The power that ran through Charles’ veins was thick and dangerous. The urge to keep going, to test the limits, got stronger with each laboured breath Max puffed into his mouth.

“More,” Max begged, “Please.”

Charles didn’t need to be told twice, he ran his other hand up to his neck, interlocking his thumbs over his throat, and adding more pressure. Max’s Adam’s apple strained against the tips of his thumbs. Max started to lose the ability to kiss him back.

“That’s it, Cheri, just like that. I’ve got you.”

Max broke away to rest his head back against the tiled wall. Eyes squeezed shut.

Charles pushed his thigh between Max’s legs, he instantly sank down enough to slowly grind against it. Charles rested his forehead against Max’s, whispering to him, telling him how good he is, how Max is his, and only his. Max’s cheeks flushed and Charles didn’t know if it was from being showered in praise or from the lack of air, so Charles eased off, just in case, and kissed him again.

Max didn’t expect the warm mouth on his, he grunted in surprise and tightened his hold around Charles’ waist, pulling him closer, his thigh rutting against Max’s bulge. Max rocked on him, harder and faster, until he stilled. He came undone, still fully clothed, moaning into Charles mouth.

“You really did need that, didn’t you? Didn’t even get to touch you,” Charles murmured. He slipped his thigh out from between his legs and loosened the hold on his neck, but he kept his hands cupped over his throat. The absence of them too soon often made things worse.

“Later,” Max promised, voice tight. “Do you need me to…”

Max unlinked his fingers from around his back and reached for him. Charles grabbed his wrist. “Later sounds good.”

Max nodded and kissed him, long and slow, until they broke away, snapping their heads to look in the direction of the bathroom door as it swept open.

Charles swallowed thickly at the sight of Christian Horner, stock-still, staring at them. The door swung back on its hinges, colliding into Christian’s shoulder, knocking him out of his daze.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Leclerc?” Christian advanced on them, “Get off him!”

Charles dropped his hands instantly, “It’s not what is looks like,” he tried to step back but Max’s tight hold prevented him from moving.

Max’s clear intention to keep Charles in place made Christian stop in his tracks before he could yank Charles off him.

“Max?” Christian turned his fiery glare onto his driver for conformation.

“It’s okay,” he agrees, “Charles and I…”

He didn’t need to say more, Christian filled in the blanks, cutting him off with a breathless: “Jesus…”

Charles could see him fight the urge to tell them this was a PR nightmare. That if the wrong person had walked in it would have been career ending.

Christian sighed, heavy and prolonged. “How long?”

Charles looked at Max who had the tiniest smile on his lips. “A year and a bit.”

Christian nodded, likely piecing together all the small moments that didn’t make sense over. Like when Max arrived at a TAG Heuer sponsorship event wearing a Richard Mille. Or when Max left last year’s Zandvoort debrief early, citing a tummy bug, when in actuality he needed Charles’ hands around his neck. Or more recently when Christian arrived unexpectedly at Max’s hotel room last month only for Max not to let him in because Charles was still spread out, naked, barely lucid, after getting his brain sucked out of his dick not even three minutes prior.

“Don’t become complacent,” it was the closest they’d get to Christian’s blessing for now. He’d likely pull Max into his office and force him to have the conversation they’d both tried so hard to avoid.

“I’m gonna go pee,” Christian said, “When I’m done one of you better be gone.”

Christian went into one of the stalls, and flicked the lock.

“I love you, you know that, right?” Max whispered. Out of all the scenarios, Charles never expected Max to confess those words for the first time inside a small Brazilian bathroom with the sound of Christian Horner peeing in the background.

Charles laughed at the absurdity of the situation and kissed him, “I love you too,” he whispered against his lips. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

Max nodded, “I’ll be a while, you know how it is.”

Charles recalled being pulled in every direction for hours after winning his championship title. He nodded, “I’ll stay awake for you.”

Max kissed him, long and slow.

“I was serious, stop making out and get out of here,” Christian’s strained voice grumbled.

“Okay, okay. Good luck with him,” Charles grinned, kissed Max one more time then left.

Feel free to send a prompt any time if you don’t mind waiting literal months for me to get my act together 😇🥰

#lestappen #max verstappen #charles leclerc #f1 fanart #fic #prompt #if only you knew how many failed attempts I have in my drafts Anon #please forgive me for the delay 😇#we need more sub Max #choking but not really #more like light pressure so the world fades away #I probably spent 30 minutes staring at this art #if tumblr counted hits on a post it’d have 20000 and 18000 of them would be me #writing and rambles #L’s little things

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dreamescapeswriting · 3 months

Text

Home Movie ~ KNJ

⤜WORD COUNT: 3.5K

⤜GENRE: fluffy, established relationships, marrying one another, cute, Namjoon being a nervous husband to be, the boys being chaotic

⤜PAIRING: Namjoon x fem!Reader

⤜MASTERLIST

Bright lights were burning your eyes so much that you could feel them drying up, how did Namjoon do this all the time? The lights were brutal enough but then there was the added extra heat coming from the cameras in the room, you could have sworn you'd started to sweat some weight off your body.

Your hands were clammy and you did your best to rub them on your jeans and try to shove off the anxiety that was building up but it was hard when there were four cameras on you and a whole room full of people staring you dead in the face. When you'd been told to come to work earlier than usual this morning you hadn't expected to be in a room full of cameras. You instantly worried that HYBE had discovered what you and the boys had done in Vegas but no one knew. Everyone swore to take it to the grave that day until Namjoon could come up with a way to tell his boss.

"Relax, I promise everything will be okay," Namjoon whispered, running his hand over yours causing it to free mid-rub on your thigh and you let out a shaky breath. The whole morning he'd been trying to convince you that they had no idea, that this was probably just a routine they wanted to do with you. With Namjoon at your side, you usually felt as though you could do anything in the world, that nothing was impossible as long as you had him there with you but right now it didn't feel that way.

Sure, he eased off some of the anxiety but it was still there, biting and chewing away at you piece by piece as the interviewer - Brenda - finally sat down across from you with a bright smile. She'd been with the boys for almost two years now, filming everything they were doing as well as interviewing them for the documentary series that they were making.

"Don't look so nervous, this is just a little interview for the series," She said with a shrug of her shoulders as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"What?" Your voice cracked a little from how dry it was, you hadn't realised how thirsty you were until you went to speak. Why were you suddenly being interviewed for it? The boys were the sole focus of the show and sure staff members were going to be featured but most of their faces were going to be blurred for the most part and none of them had been interviewed. Maybe it was because you'd been with them for so long but you knew staff that had been there from the start that hadn't been interviewed yet. Something felt off about all of this.

"Well, we have to get the inside scoop, Mr Bang, agreed for us to do this." She smiled at you both before getting her papers together and making sure everyone in the room was ready but Namjoon was frowning now.

At first, he thought it was going to be a routine shoot, that they would ask you about your time with the boys - since they'd all mentioned you so much in their own interviews - but now something was chewing inside of him letting him know that something about this wasn't normal.

"To what are you referring?" Namjoon arched an eyebrow, holding your hand and putting a stop to your leg that was now bouncing up and down on the spot. The air turned thick as Brenda turned to you both with a pleasant grin on her face,

"Your marriage." And just like that your heart throbbed against your chest and she giggled a little at the shocked expression that you and Namjoon were showing.

"Tell us everything that wasn't recorded, who's idea was it?" Brenda questioned as the cameras started to roll and all you could think about was all of the different ways you were going to kill Jungkook for filming the wedding in the first place.

"You want to do what?" Seokjin stared at his leader in complete and utter shock. Namjoon was normally the one who was usually level-headed, the rule follower in everything but this came as a shock to everyone. You giggled from beside Namjoon, buzzing with excitement as you bounced a little on the spot, just rocking back and forth from your heel to the ball of your feet.

"We're going to elope," Namjoon told them all again. When Namjoon first suggested the idea you'd been unsure about it, you'd been engaged for almost a year though and you knew that no matter how much you planned nothing was ever going to get done until you just did it. And being in Vegas was the perfect opportunity, there was no one to stop you - besides the guards but the boys knew how to slip them after years of being together with them.

"In the middle of the night? Is yn pregnant?" Seokjin questioned, giving you a small glance and smiling weakly, he knew the two of you wanted to get married but in Vegas? It all seemed too sudden, and he worried that there was something wrong, were you both just rushing because you were merely sick of waiting or was there something else going on?

"I WANNA BE THE GODFATHER!" Two voices rang out from the other side of the room, sending Jimin and Taehyung into a bickering match back and forth with each other.

"Not pregnant, not for a long while yet." You laughed and shook your head, sitting down beside Jin who was staring at you a little unsure of this whole thing. Normally he would want to back you both 100% but he needed to make sure you were both very okay with this.

"You know what it'll mean if someone catches us? Or if it gets out." He directed this at you, the only reason your relationship had been such a huge secret was because you were afraid of the attention that would no doubt come along with it but you were ready for it.

"We'll cross the bridge when we come to it." You stated with a genuine smile, that you were ready and you knew it. There was no more waiting for the right time, was it a rush? Sure. But were you only going it because you were sick of waiting? No. You were truly in love with Namjoon and couldn't wait any longer to be married for the rest of your life. Tonight was going to be the start to the rest of your lives together and you couldn't wait to get started on that.

"I think it's a good idea. You guys have waited too long for this." Yoongi was behind you both, he'd been with you on planning for months now. The two of you had been discussing everything you'd wanted but it all seemed pointless when all you wanted was a marriage. No big fancy party, no big church. All you wanted as you, Namjoon and the boys to bear witness to your marriage since they'd been there throughout your whole relationship.

"We could record it all!" Jungkook suddenly yelled from behind you, everyone turning to look at him, including JImin and Taehyung who had stopped bickering at one another.

"What? Why?" Namjoon frowned, Jungkook held up the camera that one of the documentary members had left behind and he smirked. He'd been dying to use these cameras for almost a year now and it was finally he shot to do it and record something good with it.

"It'll be like a home movie." You liked the idea of it, getting to watch the wedding back when you were so old you could barely remember what day of the week you were on.

"I guess it would be cute to look back on one day." You giggled as Jungkook smirked, checking to make sure the camera was fully charged.

"And we can all rent suits!" Taehyung yelled out to Jin who seemed to be smirking now, getting more and more on board as time ticked by.

"And I need to find a dress," You sounded a little defeated, you knew you didn't want anything majorly fancy but a white dress of some sort was a must.

"And flowers," Yoongi added, Hoseok was already googling where you could find everything you were going to need.

"And a chapel." Jin finally said with a smile, he could see how much you wanted this. You squealed a little giving him a huge hug and snuggling into him. Jin was like a brother to you, you weren't going to elope without his blessing, it was strange but over the years you'd grown so close with them all that it was like they were your own family members.

"Good thing we're in Vegas, the city of loveeeeee," Jimin dragged out the word and you all groaned and shook your head at him,

"That's Paris," Yoongi chortled at him, shaking his head before Hoseok smirked. He'd already found the perfect place where you could get everything you needed all in one spot.

"There's a chapel down the street, it's a five-minute walk. It has flower, Dress and Suit rentals." He told everyone, glancing back down at his phone and reading for a few seconds before laughing to himself.

"Oh and if you want Elvis can marry you."

"I think we want a priest," You said to him, giggling a little at the thought of an Elvis impersonator marrying you both together.

"Let's go. Yn can go to her room and let the staff know we've all gone to sleep. We'll meet at the chapel, okay? No running because it'll wake everyone up." Hoseok told everyone and suddenly it felt as though your wedding was turning into a mission from a mission-impossible movie and you couldn't hide your excitement.

Everyone was at the chapel and ready, you were hidden behind a changing screen as you didn't want Namjoon to see you. Even though it wasn't like a Church wedding you still didn't want him to see you in the dress that you'd picked out just yet.

"You're sure you weren't followed?" He quizzed Jimin and Taehyung who had been the last ones to arrive.

"Sure as sure can be," Taehyung smirked, the two of them had made sure to leave the TV playing softly in the background to make it seem as though someone was still awake inside of the room but for the most part no one was going to go in and check of them.

"You know I'm the best man right?" Jimin said as he did his bow tie up, staring at Taehyung who scoffed loudly at him. Lori - one of the men who seemed to work inside of the chapel turned to look at them, aiming the camera in their direction since Jungkook had tasked him with being their cameraman for the night.

"I think you'll find that I'M the best man, right Joonie?" Taehyung turned to look at your husband, who had already left the area and gone to wait at the altar.

"Yn, tell him that I'm Namjoon's best man," Jimin begged, you rolled your eyes a little. If it wasn't them arguing over who the godfather to your non-existent child was it was going to be this, letting out a heavy sigh you came out from behind the screen and they were still bickering back and forth. It looked like something out of a cartoon as they argued with one another.

"Jimin, you can be my best man and Tae can be Joonies. How about that?" You put your hands on your hips, after years of dealing with them you knew how to handle their little bicker matches. The boys turned in sync to look at you, their squabbling with one another ending as soon as they saw you and let out small gasps.

"Yn, you look beautiful." Your whole body heated from Taehyung's completment and you smiled shyly looking down at the dress. It wasn't anything extravagant since this was a chapel in Vegas but it was your favourite one on the rack. It was an elegant white knee-length dress, that hung just off your shoulders and had some lace detailing on the front, with a veil to match.

"You think he'll like it?" You were a little unsure if your husband-to-be was going to like it.

"I don't think Namjoon will care, you could walk down the aisle in sweats, three-day-old hair and not brush your teeth all day and he'd still marry you." Jimin laughed a little making you giggle, Namjoon had always told you that he'd marry you in his underwear as long as he got to marry you that was all that he cared about.

The door to the left side of you burst open and Jungkook walked out wearing a bright pink suit, holding a bouquet and a basket full of what looked like rose petals. Your hand flew over to cover your mouth to prevent you from laughing,

"Never fear! Flower boy is here!" He cried out, beaming at you as he handed you the bouquet of fake roses and chuckling to himself.

"I couldn't find a flower girl dress so the closet thing was this pink suit," He spun around once more and smirked at Lori who was holding back a laugh as he recorded everything for you.

"You were going to put on a dress?" Jimin laughed a little as Jungkook nodded, he saw nothing wrong with it, it wouldn't have been the first time he'd worn a dress and it probably wasn't going to be the last.

"Yeah, why not? I want to give this wedding my all." He yelled out with a giant laugh afterward making you giggle a little before kissing his cheek softly.

"Thank you, flower boy." You whispered before the doors to the chapel opened, you caught a glimpse of Namjoon who appeared to be looking a lot more nervous than you were right now. Was he having second guesses about this?

"Taehyung you can go and stand with Namjoon, Jimin stand on Yn's side and we'll join you soon," Yoongi told them both as you smiled at Jin who appeared to be tearing up at the sight of you, Lori came closer with the camera so he could get a good shot.

"You look great," Jin choked out making you whine at him, your eyes were starting to well up and you knew if she started crying now you weren't going to stop.

"You're going to set me off," You moaned, reaching out and wiping the tears that had slipped down his face with your hands but Yoongi handed you a tissue.

"I came prepared." He winked, shaking his head as you threw your arms around the two of them and started to whimper a little in their arms.

"You'll both walk me down, right? I need you both there." You sniffled a little pulling back and looking at them as they smiled warmly down at you.

"We wouldn't have it any other way," Jin whispered before nodding for Lori to go into the other room and capture some footage of Namjoon.

"How's Joonie?" You laughed, wiping the tears that had slowly escaped your eyes and Jin chortled to himself,

"Nervous but Hoseok's got him." You nodded a little and took in a deep breath when you heard the music beginning to start, it was almost time and your nerves were starting to show now.

"Jungkook, you'll go first when the singer starts to sing and we'll follow," Yoongi instructed as you looked ahead of you, you were finally going to marry the love of your life.

Inside the other room Namjoon was sweating so much he knew he wasn't going to be able to return the suit he rented and he could feel himself beginning to shake, he was more nervous than he thought he was going to be.

"You're going to marry her and everything will be okay," Hoseok told him, the music playing softly as the singer waited for the all-clear that everything was a go.

"I know, but what if she regrets this later in life."

"Then you can renew your vows with a huge wedding," Hoseok smirked, nodding at the singer and not giving Namjoon a chance to talk himself out of this.

The doors at the end of the room opened and Jungkook came through first, throwing the petals onto the floor making Namjoon chuckle to himself but when you came through it was like the air was sucked out of his lungs.

Though it was impossible Namjoon could have sworn there was a spotlight on you, lighting you up rather than letting him see anyone or anything else in the room. His eyes stared deep into your soul, burning holes into your head as you walked toward him with the biggest grin on your face.

"Hell future Mrs Kim." He winked as you reached him, your whole body burning at the name.

"You take good care of her, or we'll kill you." Jin teased before kissing your left cheek, Yoongi kissing your right and both of them left to go and stand at the side of you.

"You ready?" Namjoon whispered as he took your hand in his, all of your nerves melting away as you held onto your future husband's hand.

"More than ever."

"It was a spur-of-the-moment thing? That's quite romantic." Brenda had a few tears running down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away and you smiled up at Namjoon. After telling your wedding story you felt a little less nervous about it all, HYBE knew and you hadn't been fired for your actions yet that must have been a good sign.

"That's all we really needed from you. We're going to cut in bits of the wedding video and make sure the fans see everything." Brenda explained and you nodded a little. You were still nervous about it all being out in the open to the public but you knew Namjoon would never let anything bad happen to you, nor would he let any bad-mouthing happen or if it did he'd say something and no one wanted to be told off by Namjoon.

The camera crew were packing everything away as you and Namjoon headed out into the hall to see the boys waiting for you, all of them looking more guilty than the last.

"Who tattled?" You folded your arms over your chest and waited for one of them to admit it but none of them did.

"I won't bake this Christmas if you don't tell me," As soon as the threat left your mouth they all began talking over one another, getting so loud that you couldn't tell who was speaking anymore and what they were even saying.

"Jungkook did it." Yoongi finally said as everyone fell into silence.

"They found the camera footage, actually. Don't throw me under the bus when you were the one who went to Bang PD without him even knowing." Jungkook breathed out before you turned to Yoongi who was now blushing bright red,

"I thought he knew, I figured if they had the footage he knew about it..." You bit your lip a little, you could never stay mad at any of them, besides it was all going to be okay as long as you weren't going to get fired.

"Mr and Mrs Kim, may I speak with you." Bang PD's voice came from behind you and you slowly turned to see him, his expression completely unreadable and you followed closely behind him as he went to an empty office.

"I hear congratulations are in order," He stared at you both and you bowed your head a little.

"Thank you, Sir, I know-" You tried to say sorry to even excuse your behaviour but he held his hand up for you to stop and you bit down on your lip,

"Please, let me finish." You nodded and he took out an envelope from his back pocket and handed it to Namjoon.

"I would normally chastise you for disobeying rules...both of you," You were ready for the envelope to be something letting you know you were being let go but he nodded for Namjoon to open it.

"A week away?" Namjoon frowned looking at the tickets and back at his boss who was now smiling warmly at the pair of you,

"Hawaii, it's a good honeymoon spot and you're less likely to get noticed while we handle the media here."

"We can't accept this,"

"You can, I expect you back in a week to continue working for me but until then you're on official leave, go and celebrate your wedding with a proper honeymoon...Even if it is late." He winked at you both before you both bowed deeply to him and he left you both alone.

"A honeymoon does sound nice." You giggled, looking at him as he blushed and nodded.

"Let's go back, I'll pick you up," Namjoon said as he pulled you into the hall and began walking toward the elevators.

"Hey, this means we can move in together and I don't have to keep sneaking in and out of the house anymore!" You cried out, laughing together as you both began to plan your future together. One without hiding.

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morallyinept · 8 months

Text

For anyone that needs to hear this, and I also just want to talk about this for a minute... or maybe several.

Back on the 29th April 2023, (I know, this year is going TOO fucking fast 😵‍💫) Pedro attended The Last Of Us For Your Consideration Event at The Director's Guild of America in Los Angeles, with his lovely co-star, Bella Ramsey.

The above video appeared by Deadline from the event, with Pedro explaining to Bella, after they queried, as to why he puts his hand over his stomach. "Do you know why? My anxiety's right there." He can be heard saying to them.

And the whole of Pedro's fandom fell in love with him all over again. I mean, you just would, wouldn't you? I know I did. 😍 What a man.

Why? Because he demonstrated that he's human. Relatable. Pedro recognised and embraced his vulnerabilities publically, and by doing so - whether he knew it or not - made everyone who has ever felt the crippling weight of anxiety crush them, feel seen and heard.

Back in 2019 Pedro said in an interview with The Guardian, "anxiety is something that I’ve lived with since I was a child, so it’s a part of my chemistry. I don’t know what kind of person I’d be without it. It’s something that I manage, but it’s also part of what makes me, me."

"I know that I have to put myself in high-stress situations to be happy. I mean, within reason. But there’s a certain level of anxiety that helps me do good work. It helps me be aware of the things I need to be aware of,” Pedro added.

So why does Pedro put his hand over his stomach/sternum area specifically? What is it about that pose? We often see him doing it, even dating as far back as 2005, so for almost 20 something years it's been a part of his red carpet and public appearances.

But what does it mean?

Well, putting your hand on your stomach/sternum area can symbolise many things if you scrutinise body langauge. I'm no expert, but I've worked in fields where I've had to study it and teach it, and it's really interesting at how much you give away about yourself to others in your body language, without even realising it...

Ever heard of WORDS, MUSIC, DANCE? 🎵🎶 In a nutshell (because I could totally talk your damn ear off about all this! 🤪) WORDS is what we verbally say, which is made up of only 7% of our communication. I know, small right? MUSIC is how we say it at 38%, i.e. the tone of our voice. Finally DANCE is our body language, which is 55%. Think about that for a sec. 55% of how you communicate with someone is without even opening up your mouth. 😳

Your stomach - or gut - is a very vulnerable part of your body; a lot of vital organs are smooshed up in there, so by placing a hand over it, you're protecting yourself from harm or attack. It's also a similar thing we do when we feel unwell or sick; we rub our tummy to feel better, right? It's an unconscious protecting motion that stems from our primal selves Think of the foetal position; you curl inwards towards your stomach. The abdomen walls contain significant muscles (some vital for our health ☝🏻) and we can carry tension in here too, so by 'holding' them or protecting them, we feel at ease within our core and can relax better. (#nerdalert 🤓 I love science!)

Some people do it as a means of comfort. Others do it purposefully. Pedro's stance is him possibly trying to rebalance himself. Focus on his breathing and stay grounded in the moments of utter chaos spilling out around him. He also breathes steadily in through his nose, deeply. You can see him do this in various clips, as well as in the one above. His shoulders drop back and you see him relax almost instantly when he does it. Deep breathing is another tactic that is known to keep anyone suffering from anxiety or panic, calm in the moment.

It's incredibly admirable for a man to expose such a personal vulnerability like that, especially in such a public forum. Sadly, mental health is still not a subject that is spoken about or advocated for enough, despite being in the 21st century. We're doing better as a society, but there is still much work to be done. As a man, it can still be seen as very 'unmasculine' or 'weak' to talk about it. So, I really admire Pedro's honesty and the fact that he feels confident enough in himself to recognise that he is just a human being, who sometimes goes through some shit.

Speaking out can only help those, who suffer too, feel validated and that they are not alone. And you're not alone. Anxiety is often stigmatised or not taken seriously, yet it can be terribly debilitating and can cause further issues such as panic attacks and lead to chronic depression if not addressed with help and support.

Pedro has always been open and forthcoming about his own anxiety, and has been quoted in several interviews talking about it, and on his - now deleted - Twitter/X account about how he deals with it.

As someone who has had their fair share of anxiety, I've personally found that meditation has helped me tremendously. 🧘‍♀️ Breathing exercises are really helpful and really do work. I use an app called Balance (not sponsored/affiliated with) and for 10 minutes a day (or whenever I need it) I can breathe, focus and come back to myself. I also find that doing something I really love, like reading (smut), or going for a long hike, really helps. Creative hobbies are brilliant for channelling that negative emotion into something positive. Singing off-key in the shower, dancing crazy like a loon - even though my neighbours can probably see me through the window headbanging in my pants 🤘🏻 - painting, drawing, writing, photography, cooking... These are all things I do myself and love, and would encourage you to try, if you're not already.

Hell, even whacking on your fav Pedro movie makes you feel good too, right? Name your favourite Pedro movie in the comments, GO! 🎬 Mine's Prospect, d'uh. 😏

It's said a lot, but hydrating really helps. Drink that water, bishes! 💦 And eat some greens. 🥦🥬🫑🍏 What you put into your body also helps into what you'll get out of it long term. Food is fuel. 💪🏻🧠 If you eat crap, chances are you're going to feel like crap, capiche?

And I cannot tell you how much a good night's sleep can really turn things around. As a chronic insomniac, sleep can often be the enemy, but it really is vital for your mental wellbeing to rest and switch off for a bit. So put down your phone and get some shut eye. (Ideal time for some hot, mustached Latino man dreams too... 🥲)

And failing that, talking to someone about how you feel can also help. 🗨 A family member, a trusted friend, your cat (personally I'm a dog person 🐶 Woof); a Tumblr mutual... My inbox is always open for a chat FYI. You'll never be judged in Jett's place. 🖤 I'll make you a figurative cup of green tea. Not literal, I mean, I'm not a fucking miracle worker... ✨️🧚‍♀️

What was the point of this long-ass ramble, Jett? I know, I hear ya, I hear ya...

So, to anyone out there who feels a tad (or a helluva lot) anxious from time to time, please know that you're not alone. And also remember to stop and take a moment; breathe deeply in through your nose and slowly out through your mouth three times. Do it with me now. One... two... three. There. You good?

And remember, more than anything, that you are more than enough. You're stronger than you think you are. Your anxiety doesn't define you, nor does it control you. It's just a little shit that likes to come out now and again and try to tell you that you suck. You really don't. (Unless your name is Max Phillips 🧛‍♂️) You've got this. Trust me. You've really got this.

And just like the rather fucking awesome Mr Pedro Pascal, you're fucking awesome too, babe. 🖤

🖤

#pedro pascal #anxiety #the last of us #jett has spoken #self care #joel miller #you're awesome #max phillips #bella ramsey #pedro pascal characters #ezra prospect #prospect film #we got this bitches #drink some water

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sathina · 2 years

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Mornings like this

Pairing - Jack Harlow x reader

Summary - in early mornings when the sun has barely shown over the horizon, you catch yourself staring at Jack.

Warnings - oral sex (fem received), domination, swearing

Strands of sunlight broke through the thick curtains. Your skin feeling warm from the morning heat.

You were laying on your side, right beside Jack as you carefully played with his messy hair. His lips sat in a natural pout, slight freckles decorating his face and the toned body underneath your sheets. Golden light sparkled over his cheekbones, illuminating his sharp features.

You were so caught up in your own thoughts you didn't even see him move. " It's not nice to stare."

" Sorry." Your gaze quickly turned back to him. Jack's eyelashes were fluttering open, his body trying to stretch as a yawn broke through. " I couldn't help myself."

" Yeah?" He asked with a smirk, you knew that the slight blush on your cheeks only boosted his ego. " You'll have the whole day to stare at me, darling. But now go to sleep, it's early."

" I can't."

" Why?"

" I'm starving."

He chuckled and rested his hand on the curve of your waist, pulling you closer and making you throw your leg over his hip.

" You know what I'm hungry for?" Jack smirked already having the general idea of what you meant.

When you saw that he caught on, you pushed yourself closer, the growing bulge sitting perfectly between your thighs. " You've just been taking such good care of me. I wanna do something in return."

" Oh, yeah? And what's that?"

" Just lay back and relax. Let me show you." You were fully sat now, hovering over his waist as you leaned down to kiss him. Placing small pecks around his lips, on them, and all over his jaw. Your hips started to slowly rock on top of his, pulling out quiet moans and groans from his lips.

As your mouth moved lower, you looked up to see the man underneath you. His head was thrown back, hands lightly grabbing onto the bed sheets, chest rising and falling.

You smirked at his shuddering breaths. " You're gonna be a good boy?" You asked in a mockery tone, and everything after that happened way too fast.

Jack pulled you up, you now sat by the headboard, his strong grip on your waist. " You think you're in charge, huh? You think you're this dominant little thing?" One of his hands moved to grab you by the back of your neck, quickly pulling you even closer to him. " I'll let you in on a little secret. You're not. You're still a little fucking slut who begs for my cock." You felt your skin set on fire, your whole body slightly shaking by the harshness in his voice. " But, if you want to act all tough, I'll let you. Come and use me for your own pleasure."

You swallowed the thick saliva in your throat, your hands moving to pull off your shirt, later on your panties. You slowly climbed onto the bed, a bit hesitant when seeing the growing smirk on his face. When you reached him, you were about to pull your leg over his body, but Jack was faster. He grabbed your thighs and pulled you over his face, you dripping pussy right in the line of his vision.

" Jack-"

" C'mon, I'm ready."

You slowly lowered yourself, your clit barely touching his lips when he latched on to it. Your grib around the headboard tightened, moans and whines spilling out of you almost instantly. You were still hesitant on putting too much weight on the man underneath you though. The thought of crushing his beautiful face not sounding so appealing at the moment.

" Baby, I know you can do better than this." And you did. You let go of the headboard, grabbing on to his hair instead. The added pressure of his nose brushing over your clit so perfectly made your mind hazy. Brain covered by thick mist that you didn't even think twice before grinding on his face.

Your hips worked in the perfect speed, hands tugging Jack's curly locks, making him groan sending vibrations through your body.

This was a completely new sensation you haven't felt before, the tiny bit of power making you even closer to your high.

You were so lost in the euphoric pleasure, tugging on your nipples, playing with his hair, suffocating him in-between your thighs. It didn't take long for your movements to get lazy. You came undone with butterflies bursting inside your stomach, your body completely halting as your legs shook.

You rolled off of him, Jack laying beside you, taking heavy breaths to catch up.

" Go back to sleep." He quietly whispered when he saw your dazed expression, eyes almost falling shut. " I'll get us something to eat."

#jack harlow #fanfic #jack harlow angst #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow one shot #jack harlow smut #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow x y/n

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mizutenshii · 7 months

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CAFFEINE RUSH.

— pairing ; kaneki ken x human!gn!reader

— summary ; caffeine might not affect him, but it's a whole different story for you. or: kaneki with a very energetic reader.

— cw ; reader is bouncy and talktative, fluff, humor, mention of human consumption, mildly suggestive towards the end but nothing detailed (innuendo), established relationship

there wasn't much in this world you could share with kaneki.

your diets were completely different – scratch that, they were different and you were freaked out by what his meals consisted of. there was no point in going on fancy dinner dates, and it wasn't fun to be the only one eating when you entertained other date ideas – hence why you often resorted to not eating as well.

it was no fun to be unable to share your xxl popcorn as you watched a movie in the theater, it felt off to be the only one enjoying sweet pastries as you went on a small cafe date, it just wasn't right to visit carnivals together and eat amazing food left and right while kaneki's hands remained empty.

he had offered so many times to suck it up just for you, to pretend that he was enjoying human food. but you knew he would have to throw it all up later or he'd get seriously sick, so you always turned down his offer.

there was, however, something you could enjoy together.

coffee.

although you would never drink your coffee like kaneki did – black and bitter, as if satan's soul had turned liquid – you had adapted to drinking coffee that was much more to your liking by adding an overdose of milk and sugar. it was a simple but very welcome solution, now you could go on coffee dates and talk sweetly over a steaming mug of coffee!

tonight, kaneki had decided to take this solution a little closer to home, showing up on your doorstep with a heavy coffee machine in his arms. he didn't seem to struggle at all with the weight he had to carry, but you still quickly ushered him inside and helped him install it in your kitchen.

"now we can have coffee dates at home," you said, satisfied as you looked at the machine sitting atop your kitchen counter, hands resting on your hips. "that's a lot cheaper than going out to drink it elsewhere so often."

as soon as you spoke those words, you instantly doubted them. kaneki consumed so much coffee daily that you'd probably lose lots of money on coffee beans. oh well, it was whatever. you didn't want to spoil his intentions. you'd just have to take on an extra shift at work to cover the coming coffee bean expenses.

"i know," the half-ghoul nodded. "that's what i thought."

nope, you definitely weren't going to burst his bubble.

"we should celebrate," you decided, stepping over to the kitchen cabinets to grab two mugs. "let's see how good this thing is."

"y/n, it's ten pm," kaneki pointed out, placing a hand on your arm to halt your movements. "caffeine doesn't really affect me but it's a different story for you."

"oh, i'll just pour a little extra milk to make my coffee less strong," you waved him off. "don't be a killjoy, ken. i'll be fine."

you were wrong.

sure, you were indeed fine, just heavily affected by the amount of caffeine that remained in your hot bevarage, even after adding an inhuman amount of milk.

with shaky hands, you sat on your sofa, bouncing in your seat and talking kaneki's ears off – all while the half-ghoul looked at you helplessly. your feet were tapping a restless rhythm on the hardwood floor of your living room, as you were talking to the male with excessive gestures.

"yoo," you giggled, slapping your knees as you thrummed along to the music that played over the tv commercials. "it's so funny how they're still trying to sell that anti-ghoul pepper spray. it doesn't even work?"

you recalled that moment where you had used it on kaneki in the very beginning, after finding out he was a ghoul. he didn't flinch, only looked you dead in the eyes, all but impressed. it was such a funny memory to you, and you wheezed as you tried to hold back your uneven laughter.

"it's all fun and games until they find out it won't stop anyone from eating them," kaneki muttered, a slight frown falling upon his features as you were still bouncing up and down from your seated position.

the half-ghoul gazed at the empty mugs on the table, wondering how such a small amount of caffeine already had this effect on you – all while he sat calmly, utterly unaffected by the substance he drank. it was quite the irony, since his bevarage contained a way higher concentration of caffeine.

"oh, let them have their blissful feeling of safety," you shrugged. "it makes some of the fear fade away, thinking you can actually stop a ghoul from eating you. i remember when you showed me your eye and i was like, ayooo, i can make it out of here because i have this amazing spray on me and–"

you rambled on and on, hyperactive to a point where you were mentioning kaneki's diet and the horrors that plagued tokyo so casually. sure, the half-ghoul had seen you like this before, but not at half past ten in the evening and not when you were alone. a filter on your words and behavior wasn't necessary, and it was as if you subconsciously knew, acting and speaking more freely.

at some point you jumped up from the sofa, startling the ghoul next to you. he looked at you in confusion and you wailed, "i have so much energy."

"no shit," kaneki mumbled, his mismatched eyes following your every movement as you darted around the living room impatiently.

frankly, he found it adorable – you seemed so happy and carefree, blurting out whatever was on your mind and following your body's desire to move around excitedly. he felt like he took part of your humanity away, always dragging you down with the misery that filled his life, forcing you to betray your kin in order to accept him. so seeing you like that, happy and unbothered, even if it was only for a brief moment, it just brought him a strange sense of relief.

kaneki finally got up as well, capturing you with his arms around your waist. you froze, looking at the male with wide eyes and a silly smile you couldn't keep in. but it vanished when you caught the boy with hair as pale as the moon gazing at you with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. you tilted your head curiously, wondering what had gotten into his mind.

"i am thoroughly regretting my decision to try our new coffee machine tonight," you admitted, coming to a halt afore the half-ghoul but still wiggling on your feet. you pouted, "should've waited until morning. there's no way i can sleep now."

the ghoul suddenly had a brilliant idea.

"google said it takes about three to five hours for the effects of caffeine to halt," he said, a devious smile falling upon his lips. "there's plenty we can do in that time, hm? time to put your excessive energy to good use, my y/n."

your breath stuttered in your throat when you grasped onto what kaneki meant, but there wasn't a part of you that even considered turning down his invitation. he was right, after all.

"alright," you grinned at the half-ghoul, allowing kaneki to take your hand and lead you out of the living room, leaving the two empty mugs behind on the coffee table.

maybe it wasn't all that bad to eliminate sleep for a night, to be consumed by the rush of caffeine. kaneki was a genius for bringing you that coffee machine, and you already knew one thing.

many good things would come from it.

mizutenshii — O5.1O.2O23 — masterlist

— a/n ; i'll admit that this was very self-indulgent and i am by no means sorry about that. my adhd ass is just very hyper and when i consume caffeine it gets even worse and i could not help but imagine ken's reaction lol.

#nana writes #tokyo ghoul #kaneki ken #ken kaneki #kaneki #anime #tokyo ghoul x reader #tokyo ghoul fanfiction #tg kaneki #tg #kaneki x reader #ken kaneki x reader #kaneki ken x reader #tokyo ghoul fluff #kaneki fluff

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bronx-bomber87 · 9 months

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Happy Tuesday evening all :)

We’ve reached the conclusion of this Two parter. One of the most seminal and iconic moments for them. Not only as a ship but as characters. One of my all time favorite episodes. It’s the one where most people if they weren’t shipping them before they were after this. I was already locked and loaded for them at this point. This one added massive fuel to the fire though. Turned it into an inferno for me.

Also a chunk of the gifs I’m using are of Tim’s reactions through out the ep from a wonderful set I found. Would like to name it ‘Tim I can crush you with just my facial expressions. Let me count the ways Bradford. ‘ LOL let’s delve in shall we?

2x11 Day Of Death

We start this immense adrenaline rush of an episode with Lucy. She’s waking up and Caleb is tattooing her DOD tattoo on her. Then the sick MOFO asks Lucy if she knows what it is? She doesn’t answer at first. He says ‘Tell Me.’ Lucy looks down and sees her tattoo. Shakily replies ‘My day of death…’ He smiles sickly and we hit the opening credits. I hate him so much. Ugh.

Jackson notices Lucy isn’t home and figures her date went well. He arrives at work and finds her still missing. Checks in with Nolan asking if he’s seen her? He has not..They weigh telling Grey they don’t want her get dinged if she’s just late. They ask Harper if she’s seen Lucy. She says no and can sense more to their questions than they're saying. They start chatting if they should tell Grey. Nyla doesn’t waste a second before pulling Grey and Tim into it. Love this woman.

Tim’s face during the whole scene hits me right in the gut. This entire episode is an emotional gut punch honestly. This is the moment the worry and anxiety start their stranglehold on him and don't let go. His face goes through stages. First is realization then the outright panic and worry kick into gear. Tim licks his lips out of anxiety. He’s piecing the puzzle together and is absolutely terrified at the possible result.

Grey is the voice of reason during this entire scene. It’s much needed. Tim has a ton of info on this idiot. He immediately presents it. This is way of controlling his worry and panic. Tim can control where this whole thing starts at least. He has info they can use to easily verify if he is a real threat. Good thing he grilled Caleb so much. Rattles off his name, where he supposedly works, social media page etc Grey tells Tim to take Jackson and run a background check with Armstrong. They all split off with jobs to do. Love they were on it immediately for her. All hands on deck right away.

Nick is looking up ‘Caleb Wright’ and says he doesn’t exist... Tim instantly marches over to Armstrong's desk Says that can't be correct. He just saw it the other day. The anxiety continues to build for him. It’s written all over Tim's face. The panic and worry is starting to mount for him quickly. Eric is the king of expressions as we all know. This episode he kills me softly with them. Tim for the first time, is showing exactly how he’s feeling around everyone. Usually only Lucy gets to see this but not today.

No compartmentalization for him. Today he is an open book of anger, anxiety, and pent up stress. We truly get a look into how much he cares about Lucy. The weight he feels for putting someone he cares about in danger. There’s a lyric in the song featured in Lucy’s next scene. Says ‘My heart is on display.’ That is Tim in this episode. His heart is on display for everyone to see. He doesn't care who notices it. He is showing how Lucy being missing is destroying him. It awakens a piece of himself he’s been burying since they met.

We return to our girl strapped to a chair. She quickly is testing her restraints. The drug is wearing off and her wits are returning. Before she can test them further Caleb walks in. Eating eggs like this is completely normal for him to do. Tells her he would feed her but all the screaming makes you vomit. She asks for water. He says sure he's not a monster. Ok pal....

Lucy asks if this is why he hit on her. Caleb tells her no. She was a happy accident since the last girl didn’t work out. Ugh. That he was just there to scope out Armstrong. She asks him why the tattoo? He tells her it’s not for him. It’s for her. To get her to face the truth of her death. Sick sick SOB.

Lucy changes tactics and tries to rile him up. Asking if he got that from Rosalind? He defensively replies no it’s all him. She pokes the bear more. Saying she figured it was hers since she’s his mentor and all…He snaps again says they’re equals. Lucy continues her barrage and asks 'Does she know that?' God I love her. He catches on and says she’s good. That this is going to be fun for him. *shudder*

Grey and Armstrong are going over what they got from their canvass of the bar. The bartender recognized both Lucy and Caleb. There is video of them leaving but it’s not clear. They see car pull away but its stolen. Grey then says the words Tim has been dreading. His worst fear coming to life before him. That Caleb is Rosalind's apprentice and that he’s abducted Lucy… You can see the weight of responsibility and guilt Tim has now put on. It’s going to stay there for a long time. Long after they find her. We can already see the toll this is taking on him.

The way he swallows his anxiety. He's is beyond upset that she's been taken. Just watch Eric’s face especially towards the end. It encapsulates all of that. He is beating himself up in this moment. Convinced he is the reason she’s gone missing. Honestly I don’t know he could’ve lived with himself had they not saved her.

He is going to bear the brunt of this. It's who he is. To take on the full weight of this emotional burden. Now Lucy would never have wanted him to do this. Hell blaming him was the last thing she ever thought about. Tim is a pressure cooker of panic and stress in this ep. Every new piece of info or dead end only adds to that pressure. It’s not long before we see him truly implode…

Tim can’t handle this alone and recognizes this. So he calls Angela and is VERY vulnerable with her. His face as he waits for her to answer. Praying she picks up. He tells her Lucy’s been taken and he needs her. My boy has grown so much. Look at him reaching out and asking his best friend for aid. Even though he’s going to carry this emotional responsibility alone, he needs Angela help keep him sane. Because let’s be honest he is drowning right now.

Tim is trying so hard to keep his panic and worry from overtaking him. She immediately says yes and drags Wesley with her. They continue to talk about how to find Lucy. Tim is seething with anxiety his body language as anxious as I ever seen it. Nick poses she might already be dead. Harper jumps in and we get to see her growth as well. Defends Lucy’s tenacity. What a fighter she is, that she’s going to do everything she can to stay alive till they can save her. i.e. this next scene.

We go back to Lucy being the fighter Nyla was just talking about. Finally getting the restraints free. Effectively kicking Caleb’s ass on her way out. Sucker punches him so hard he's on his back.(Harper would be so proud) She makes it outside and you can see the vastness of a desert. Wherever Lucy is it’s remote af. She’s disoriented and hits that friggin trip wire. Makes me mad every time it gets her. What also pisses me off is Caleb couldn’t take her if she was 100 percent. It’s why he pepper sprays her. Our girl keeps punching even after he does that. He laughs until she gets one in. Deserved. Like Harper says she’s fighter. Sadly she loses the fight and he drags her away.

Angela shows up with Wesley in tow. It’s clear Tim being on the tip line is bringing him to his boiling point. He sends Wes to help Jackson with it. His stress is hitting an all time high when he talks to Angela. His emotions are something he’s normally very good at keeping in check but they are ruling him right now. Angela can see it instantly. She can also tell something is eating at him.

He starts suggesting desperate things like kicking down doors. Angela trying to right his ship logically asking what doors? He tells he doesn't know...but he can’t just sit here doing nothing. He takes off and Angela hunts him down. He says he doesn’t need a pep talk. (Yes you do…) Angela asks why did he call her then? Says he clearly needs to get something off his chest. To unburden himself.

Tim finally verbalizes the thought that’s been torturing him all day. That he did this. She was in danger because of him. Eric’s voice and how vulnerable he sounds while he’s explaining this My damn heart. Angela tries to assuage him of his guilt. Tells him he couldn’t have known. He refuses to be let off that easily. He's so mad at himself. Vibrating with anger. All the things he drills into Lucy he didn't do himself when it came to Caleb. He's so very angry and emotional he let this guy get past him.

That he should've seen him coming a mile away. Before even getting to Lucy. (He did though on some level he really did) But he's not going to see that logic right now. Says how she wanted to go home. But he told her to go out. That she went out with Caleb because he told her. The heartbreak all over Angela’s face when he tells her this. The acting is just top notch in this one. It’s always good but this entire ep is so emotionally charged. Everyone brought their A Game.

You can hear the crack in his voice to what he says next. He continues on to say she didn’t feel right about the whole situation. That she hesitated on going out with him, but he insisted and pushed her right at him. He is disgusted with himself. Look at that man's face above. He hates himself for letting her get taken, when he feels he could've prevented. it. Thus continues Eric’s destruction of my soul in this episode. Killing me good sir absolutely killing me. Such a good scene for Angela and Tim though. Glad it was captured in gif form.

Nolan is able to figure out with his visit from Rosalind about contraband. That’s how her and Caleb have been communicating. That if they can get to the smuggler they can get to the guard who’s been delivering it to her. Angela gets Wes on it for her with his connections. Says his clients aren't in trouble they just need the info.

We return to Lucy and her March toward the barrel. Caleb has planned something else for her. Not just the barrel but burial underground to go with it. Caleb tells her to get in. Lucy says no. He continues his diatribe by saying that at least in there there is still hope. Outside of it only death as he points his gun at her. Lucy then does the smartest thing of her entire capture. She fakes a trip and drops her ring. The very thing that saves her life.

She knows Tim with his cop eyes will spot it and save her. So damn smart on her end. Caleb has no idea what he was up against truly. He asks her any last words? Lucy confidently replies ‘You’ll be dead long before I am.’ Damn right he will be. Watching her get into the barrel and him kicking into the hole is hard to watch. I hate it so much. Her trying not to panic once she hears the dirt pile on top. Ugh I can’t. Melissa crushes the entire scene inside that barrel makes me wanna cry each time. Trying so hard to regulate her panic and breathing.

Now comes one of my favorite Tim portions of the episode. He’s been pent up and to his boiling point by time we get here. They have the name of the smuggler and it’s time to get some answers. This scene shows you the lines he’s crossing and depth of how far Tim is willing to go to save her. Idk if it’s wrong to find aggressively protective Tim so sexy. But this scene phew lord. It really hits the spot for me in that regard.

Doesn’t even hesitate to threaten with bodily harm. The last thing Tim has time for today is BS. You’re standing between him and his person (except he doesn’t know that just yet hehe). You aren’t going to win this fight my man. He doesn’t even give this guy a moment to mouth off. Slams his face into his steering wheel immediately and says it’s his day of reckoning. *fans self* It sure is. Now Jackson looks off put but I’m cheering Tim on. Also if this is how he is before he's with her can you imagine how he would be in S6 if something happened to her? Scorched earth. This is pretty damn close to that anyways.

Watching how he unravels in this scene just shows his utter despair in this moment. This is Tim at his peak of desperation. That he is literally willing to risk his career by injuring this guy to get what he needs. That by the book Tim Bradford is giving the bird to ethics right now to save her. Nothing will stand in his way to get her back. If he has to rough this guy up to get what he needs so be it. The thought of failing her is unacceptable. Especially since he feels he put her there. He’s shown many times he has her back. This is another level. Look at that final line above. He means every word of it.

God help the poor SOBS who stand in the way of Tim Bradford and who he cares for. I relate to this very much. I am the same way for those I care about. Deeply loyal and loving. You will experience hell rain down on you if you mess with someone I care about. So I get his mindset during this. Might not be the right way but it’s something I can most definitely relate to.

They get a name for Jerry Havel from the smuggler. Sadly it’s another dead end. The guy who lives there isn't Caleb. They find out he stole his identity. Used it to get to get close to Rosalind at the prison. I’ve never seen Tim look so damn dejected as above. He looks lost and broken, definitely in need of a hug. You know he feels like a failure right now. Just absolutely wrecked and distraught. Not a drop of hope left in him. Jackson comes up to him with some potential good news. Credit cards Caleb used in Jerry’s name.

Tim gets so excited saying the charges could lead them to Caleb. Jackson breathing some life back into our boy. They head back to the station to regroup. Wes is brilliant and associates Calebs obsession with Rosalind with his next killing ground. Something that would tie to her. Tim comes in and says he has a PO Box payment in Kern County. That he still makes payments even after he quit. That’s how they piece together she’s at Rosalind's Uncle's farm.

Then comes the song that makes me teary every time. So hauntingly beautiful her voice in the background as they race to the farm to save her. The cinematography in this episode is primo. The emotions it evokes are immense. Her singing the song that will haunt us all every time we hear it. Melissa is beyond brilliant in this moment. Singing but also crying because she believes this is the end for her. I want to cry just writing this out. This moment is so incredibly emotional. She’s accepted her fate at this point and yet still hasn’t at the same time. Beautifully tragic.

Harper and Nolan make it first. They see Nick is being held captive by Caleb. Sadly Harper misreads the situation and shoots him. Then starts the next emotional rollercoaster. John FaceTiming Grace in order to save him. God bless her for trying. The irony of them trying to save him so they can save Lucy. Tragically he ends up dying and his knowledge of where Lucy goes with him..

The rest of the team shows up shortly afterwards. Harper tells them Caleb is dead. They split up into sections to start searching the vast desert. It seems like they’ll never find her. The shots are so wide and boundless. Then Tim sees something glinting in the distance. The way he runs up to it knowing that’s where she is. The way he grabs it and instantly knows she's left her ring for him. Once finds the lid with his foot He starts screaming ‘I’ve got her!’ repeatedly.

He starts digging not even waiting for a shovel. He is as feral as he can be trying to dig her out with just his hands till help arrives. His desperation has reached critical levels as he digs to find her. With every swipe of his hands he’s trying to undo what he thinks he’s done to her. Once everyone else arrives, they offer Tim a shovel but he continues to dig with his hands. Almost in a trance with digging her out. He isn't wasting a damn second to take it because it could cost her.

I love how everyone helps to get her out but Tim fends them off once she's out. He wants to work on her himself. No one was going to touch her but him. This part always makes me catch my breath. The music, the way he frantically works on her, everyone’s reactions as he does. We’ve reached the height of the adrenaline and emotions in this moment. Armstrong and Grey look like it’s over. Everyone else is in shock around Tim. He refuses to give up. Giving Lucy CPR incessantly and being relentless in its delivery. He continues to work tirelessly on her. After another moment she finally comes back to him.

One of most beautiful parts of this scene and what gets me the most is her initial reaction. The last time she closed her eyes she saw Caleb. When she re-opens them she’s disoriented. Honestly a little panicked as well. It’s not until she hears Tim’s voice grounding her back to the present and seeing his face does she realizes she’s out. She not in that barrel anymore. That’s she’s safe in his arms and away from that monster.

Then she immediately breaks down. The way her hands shake as she reaches out for him gets me good. Tim see's this and he hides her in his chest. Softly cradling her head against him. Trying to protect her. Tim is instinctual in how he comforts her. Telling its ok. She continues to cry and god that kills me. Clings to him like the life line he is for her. Especially in this moment. So happy he’s the one holding her. He needed to be the first face she saw and Tim needed that as much as she did.

The way he cradles her so gently against him. My damn heart. I tear up every time I watch this scene. Holding her like she is the most precious thing on this earth to him. The immense amount of relief that washes over him. He looks like he wants to cry himself. Tears of relief. It’s the first time he’s drawn a real breath since she disappeared. He breathes that sigh of relief into her hair. It’s an incredibly intimate moment shared between them. Him lying his head on hers and the protective way he’s holding her.

Looks like he is shielding her from everything and refusing to let her go. Wanting to absorb all the sadness she’s experiencing in this moment. Can only imagine he held her all the way to the hospital too. If not he held her hand the entire ambulance ride back. Stuck to her like glue. Tim outwardly displaying everything he’s feeling in this moment. He doesn’t care who sees this. He would’ve moved heaven and earth to save her. It’s written all over this beautiful embrace. I’ll never be over this moment. Even years later. They already had me but this cemented me following them anywhere.

Tim could not be cuter staying by her bedside the entire night. Watching over her while she got some much needed rest. Her fierce protector standing guard. Also having when she wakes for him to be first face she sees again. Look at this man's face when he realizes she is awake. He could not be more adorable reading some teen magazine to pass the time. It's classic. Their banter picking up right where they left it. Not skipping a beat. Talking about BTS and which one was his soulmate haha He plays along then asks what that is? She laughs and its so nice to see he can still do that. God they cute. The look of sheer joy of her being awake is written all over his face.

She asks him if he’s been here all night? He looks like he’s about to cry and says no..it’s ok babe we know you’re lying. She knows too but lets it go. She just follows up with a very sweet ‘Mmhmm.’ with a helping of heart eyes for him. Honestly everything you need to know about how he’s feeling in this moment is in that gif above. Eric the king of expressions strikes again. Nolan, Jackson and Grace join them. Coming in to check on her as well. The way he watches her while she talks to the trio is so sweet.

She could say anything right now and he would be enamored. He’s just so damn happy she’s ok. Lucy says she’s never going on another date again. Grace says I don’t know that’s the takeaway. The boys all chime in it’s so damn funny. Saying mixture of things at once. ‘Statistically that’s pretty safe, Definitely should.’ LOL She asks if this is the kind of understanding she’s should expect from now on? Tim says pretty much.

Tim asks her if she’s hungry. She says starving. I bet she is poor thing god only knows last time she ate. Tim produces her favorite order veggie burger and fries with extra pickles. He’s so proud of himself for having got it. That he remembered. Look at him so pleased with himself having that ready to go for her. She could ask him for the world right now and he would deliver. No questions asked. Easy Tim your feelings are showing.

The rest of this scene is all heart eyes. It's a two way street of cuteness. We get our next iconic OTP line. ‘You know me so well. Too well’ ❤️ The way he says his half its like he’s finally giving into their bond and connection at this point. That there is something there he can't deny. He doesn't fully understand it right now but its there. We all know he will continue to try to ignore it but ultimately won't be able to hehe. The amount of heart eyes these two are throwing around during this is amazing. Surprised the others didn’t just leave to give them privacy haha No one else in their world when they get like this. Everyone else around them fades.

Phew what an episode it emotionally drains me each time in the best way. Melissa and Eric are rockstars. We’re so lucky to have them running this ship. If you didn’t see their chemistry or ship before this you sure as hell did now. It was there in all its glory the entire ep. What a ride.

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Side notes-Non Chenford.

I loved Wesley turning it around in this episode. As horrible as Lucy going missing was and the toll it took on everyone it helped right his ship. Show him perspective about what she survived. And honestly he was huge in what saved her.

John’s final scene with Rosalind is so good. The way he breaks it all down. How she’s lost. Caleb died, Lucy and Armstrong were alive, and he inadvertently gave them the rest of her kill sites in his notes. She looks down for the count. But before Nolan can leave she throws that tid bit out about Nick before he departs. Damn good ep holy hell.

thank you to https://the-rookie.fandom.com/wiki/2x11_gallery?file=2x11_015.jpg I needed one random screen cap ha

Also Thank you all for reading. For all the likes/ comments and reblogs. I hope I did this iconic episode justice. Truly one of my all time favorites of the series. ❤️ See you all in 2x12 :)

#Caitlin rewatches The Rookie #chenford #summer rewatch #waiting on s6 #s2 #2x11 Day Of Death #2x11 #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well.#tim bradford x lucy chen #chenford hiatus

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