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threecrowsinatrenchcoat · 3 years

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Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence.

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos.

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.”

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him.

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment.

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table. He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop.

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock.

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really.

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in.

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit.

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill.

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom.

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT” /end ID]

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin.

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left.

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left.

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand.

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID]

#dukeceit #dukeceitweek #remus sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fic #kye writes

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angryboywonder · 5 years

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my boy

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung

Summary: Jungkook is a beauty vlogger and wants to practice his next look on Taehyung.

Word Count: 1,727

Warnings: frottage if you SQUINT, flirting mostly from Taehyung, and some smooching.

I told myself I wouldn't be consumed by vkook but it HAPPENED.

Everyone at this point knows that Jungkook loves makeup.

It’s not like he’s a part of the beauty guru community and has millions of followers, but he’s working his way. He’s had a YouTube channel for a few months and has only managed to gain a few hundred followers and it’s enough right now. There’s a few regulars on his channel, not including his friends, that leave sweet comments and make him remember what he’s creating these videos for.

He has a pretty well established schedule to begin with. Every Friday, he drops a video after he gets home from school. Last week he did a natural look, with some nude shades. The week before that it was a Spring look that had shades of pink and orange and he loved it. And before that it was all about the color blue.

This week he wants to try out the dollar makeup challenge as it’s what’s been requested by his few followers over the last couple of weeks. Jungkook broke down and decided it was time for a trip to the dollar store, and while he’s browsing through the feminine section, he’s texting Taehyung in hopes that he can experiment a winged look on him.

He thinks if he sends “please, Hyungie?” enough times, the older of the two will say yes.

It only takes three attempts and by the time Jungkook gets home from the market, his best friend is waiting for him. “I’m so excited!” He exclaims as he fishes for his key.

Taehyung chuckles, watching the boy struggle with all of his bags and he takes some of them, making it easier for him to unlock the door. They step inside, kick their shoes off, and Jungkook is making a break for it to his room. He excitedly, and thoroughly, goes through all the products he bought, showing them to his new test dummy, and even explaining the challenge to him.

“Are you going to do that ordering what the person in front of me orders challenge next?”

“Uh, I’m not that popular yet.” Jungkook shrugs, getting some of the packages opened as he sits at his makeup table. He has a vanity, but it’s not the most fancy or expensive one out there. He was planning on upgrading after he hits a certain amount of subscribers because he wants to feel like he well earned and deserved it. Right now, a small white table with string lights he hung himself around the mirror is quite suitable.

Taehyung takes a seat next to him and starts unboxing makeup as well, making himself useful. “Yeah? Maybe doing that challenge can make you popular. A cute boy eating in his car doing a mukbang? Perfect. I’d watch that.”

Jungkook giggles, watching Taehyung from the corner of his eye as his cheeks heat up. “You’re so funny, Hyungie.” He playfully shoves him.

“I’m being honest.” Taehyung smiles, and then it’s time for the experimentation to take place. Jungkook does his eyeliner often but he hasn’t recorded a look yet for his channel with the winged eyeliner. He’ll do a soft line, or a rounded point, or sometimes he doesn’t actually complete the look with eyeliner, and will substitute it with dramatic eyeshadow. He has only done a wing a handful of times but every time he’s had to take a wipe and do touch ups, or completely re-do the wing and ended up feeling as if he’s shredded the corner of his eye from how many times he’s had to wipe the makeup off. Having Taehyung here today to practice on is such a great help.

“Are you ready for me to do a wing on you?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Great!” Jungkook turns on the lights to his vanity and has Taehyung sit on his cushioned stool. He hasn’t actually done makeup on anyone other than himself so it takes him a second to decide if he needs to sit down to do Taehyung’s makeup or stand, and he eventually decides to go with standing where he can lean down.

For some reason, he’s suddenly nervous, even though he has no right to be. His hands keep shaking and he can’t find the correct hand placement. He’s feeling shy to actually rest the blade of his hand against the other boy’s cheek, he’s scared to do that, and goodness, what if he stabs Taehyung in the eye with the brush?

“You going to make it over here?” Taehyung chuckles as Jungkook’s discomfort is clearly visible.

“Hyung, what if I poke your eye out?”

Taehyung purses his lips, “That would suck.”

“Yeah, it would suck!” Jungkook takes a deep breath. He has to distract himself for a moment, and grabs some hair clips so that he can pin back Taehyung’s fringe away from his face. His hair is soft and Jungkook finds himself wanting to touch it, over and over again, but as soon as the hair is out of the way, he has to keep his hands back. He picks up the eyeliner again and gets ready for his next attempt. “I got this.”

“You got this, bunny!” His best friend encourages, and he has to let out another giggle. He tilts up Taehyung’s chin, and luckily the boy complies by closing his eyes. He quickly has to swipe a clear line along the top lid before his hands start shaking again. The thin line right above the lashes was actually easy, but he knows the wing might not be. It’s all in the flick of the wrist and he takes a deep breath before going for it.

The line is long, and he has to pause as soon as he looks it over. It’s not incorrect by any means. It makes Taehyung look very fierce, though it wasn’t the look Jungkook was initially going for.

The next eye doesn’t look the same and it gets to a point where Jungkook doesn’t know which eye to clean up because these eyes are not sisters, they are cousins. After contemplation, he takes a wipe to the first eye, as the wing ended up being much larger than he originally wanted. As Jungkook is rubbing away at Taehyung’s eye, Taehyung is groaning and swatting at his hand. “Are you trying to get rid of the whole eye?”

“No, I’m making sure the canvas has been cleared.”

As soon as Jungkook pulls away, Taehyung has to roll his eyes. The area is a bit red but it’s not severely abused by any means.

The younger of the two finds its easier to get through this process with his free hand holding the back of Taehyung’s head, which Taehyung can’t help making a joke about Jungkook being rougher on him, and Jungkook’s whole face goes red like he’s a tomato. He mutters under his breath in disapproval and starts his line again. He can’t focus so that line is bolder than on the other eye, so he has to fix the other eye and make that line thicker, and this is not getting any easier. He’s blushing, nervous, and he wants to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“Am I teasing you too much?” Taehyung grins, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s waist and Jungkook lets out a gasp.

“Yes, you are!” Jungkook whines, pulling his hands away from the other’s face, but then he’s pulled into his lap. Luckily this is a stool and not a chair with arms, because he wouldn’t have even fit if that were the case. He’s completely straddling his best friend at this point and it can’t be getting any better. “Hyung, I need to do your makeup!”

“You can do it sitting in my lap.”

“No, I can’t…”

“I think you can.” He still has his arms wrapped tight around his waist. “I won’t let you fall.”

All Jungkook could do was nod. His can feel Taehyung’s breath on his face and he can’t stop looking back and forth from his eyes to his lips. Before the exchanges of looks between them can continue on any further, he slides his fingers through the hair on the back of Taehyung’s head and gets back to work. The wing turns out decently, not exactly quite as well as the other eye but he’s sure from a distance, they’d look almost identical. Up close, it’s debatable.

He quickly reaches for the mascara and applies it to Taehyung’s eyelashes ever so gently. Once he’s done, he cups the older boy’s cheeks with both hands, turning his face side to side and even examining it from the front. He wishes he can do the eyeliner skillfully, on camera, with zero mistakes. Today definitely took a few tries and took him longer than he wanted and he’s just going to have to blame his friend for that.

Before he knows it, Taehyung is reaching a hand up to fist in Jungkook’s hair, gripping but not in a harsh manner, and pulls him down to press their lips together. Jungkook is so shocked, breath hitching in his throat, eyes slightly widened as he doesn’t have a chance to react before the kiss happens. His hands immediately fly to Taehyung’s chest, grabbing at the front of his shirt as he feels fingers digging into his hips.

Jungkook always knew that his best friend was attractive, but never once did he imagine himself kissing him. It was always one of those things where when you know the two of you are the best friends that you can possibly be, romantic or perverted thoughts don’t really cross your mind if you’re that tight together.

The kiss gets more heated as Taehyung slides his tongue into his mouth, and the younger boy has to gasp at the contact. It sounds more erotic than he intends and his Hyung grinds up against him in response. Jungkook runs his hands up to Taehyung’s shoulders, looping his arms around his neck as he tilts his head to the side, allowing their tongues to dance together. He’s melting into the kiss, melting into the older boy’s lap.

Suddenly, he breaks for air, eyes wide. “Your lipstick! I forgot to put lipstick on you.”

“It would’ve gotten messed up anyways.” Taehyung stands up, arms folded tightly underneath Jungkook’s thighs as he carries him over to the bed.

#fanfiction #my fanfics #bts #kpop #jeon jungkook #jungkook #v #kim taehyung #taehyung #fluff #beauty guru #commissions open #vkook #taekook

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yuurivoice · 6 years

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The YuuriVoice Survey Results

A few days ago I put out a survey here on Tumblr in hopes that I could dig up some helpful information in regards to what I can do to improve moving forward and keep things here fresh and on point. With over 1,100 responses I think it’s safe to say we can take a look at the data and see what we’ve got! So...let’s break it down! (Shoutout to Lucio mains!)

How long have you been following the blog?

I found this interesting because nowadays on the internet people don’t always stick with a thing for very long. Certainly there’s plenty of follower turnover on my blog, people are REALLY hype for one thing, then over time they may move on to other things for a whole variety of reasons. Having 1/4 of the responses be from those who have followed for over a year is huge. It doesn’t surprise me that less than 3 months is the smallest portion because it’s been a pretty slow three months in general for me, but that’s how it goes sometimes!

How did you first discover my content?

I’m not shocked to find that most people discover my content when searching for specific characters, given my fandom based approach. I want to dabble in some non-fandom audios more often because that’s a whole demographic (i.e. people specifically looking for audio porn) that I don’t always tap into. When I do, the results are usually really great, and you’ll see in a moment that the people who show up because of the characters don’t necessarily ONLY want that character they found me through.

What is shocking, however, is that nearly 10% found me through YouTube. That might not seem like a lot, but I haven’t been doing the YouTube thing for long (or consistently for that matter) so I think that might help show you all why I’m putting value in getting content onto YouTube. There’s infinitely more reach on YouTube than there is on Tumblr.

Do you have a favorite character/voice of mine?

This was one that I already knew the answer to because of my own prior research, but I think it’s important that we all take a look at it here together. Guzma is the most popular voice by an impressive margin. I say impressive because I honest to god never would have expected things to play out like this. Yuuri and Sidon are also very popular, of course. Then there’s a healthy 20% that like two or more of the voices.

So you see why it’s not always easy for me to keep up. Between balancing the big three and exploring new voices and my own as well, there will naturally be less of some things. Yuuri is obviously super important to me, but there’s also significantly more content for him than all the others, even after slowing down a bit. A lot of what I do is primarily based on what is getting commissioned as well, and it’s no surprise that Guzma has been the most commissioned character due to his popularity.

There’s not a lot else to say here other than I’m doing my best to make sure there are no Good Boys (TM) left behind, but I’m also just one man. I’m glad that there is crossover between fans of the voices as well. I haven’t got a “I hate when you post this instead of that” message in a long, long time. It’s nice that most people can at least enjoy one of the other voices aside from their fave, even if it’s not EXACTLY what they want. Y’all are real good to me in that regard.

Do you listen to non-character audios of mine?

Pretty straight forward. The vast majority of the followers are cool with checking out things regardless of whether fandom is involved or not, so long as it’s their jam in regards to content. This makes me happy and hopeful. Characters have always been a great way to get people to discover me, but I think the future is not just doing fandom stuff.

Do you prefer One Shot audios, or series?

This one is extremely clear, my current process of having some audios that are a series that ties together and most that are just one shot scenes is working just fine. I figured as much, but it never hurts to ask!

Does having my SFW content on YouTube interest you?

This was a relief, honestly. Moving older stuff to YouTube has been a process, and the earlier data showed that it does have a positive impact. In the future there will be new stuff hitting YouTube and Tumblr at the same time, but it has taken me a long time to try and get caught up so old stuff is up on YouTube and I can move on to new. It’s happening slowly, but you can at least rest easy knowing I’m not gonna crush your dashboards with spam of old audios uploaded in video form.

Would you submit scripts/ideas if there was a system to do so?

Well what the hell am I waiting for? I’ll get to work on creating a submission system where you can send in scripts and ideas. Something better than Tumblr’s submissions. I’ll have examples for you to look at so you can see how it should be formatted and other information as well. I’m very interested to see how that plays out, so I’ll get to work on it soon!

Would you be interested in my own original characters, voices, and stories?

This is a very encouraging bit of information! In the not so distant future I want this to be a thing. My own characters with their own art, backgrounds, personalities, and voices. I had a pretty expansive idea for what this could look like, but perhaps an early taste with just one character to give people a real idea of what I’m talking about would be cool. Interesting.

Are you a current or former supporter of my Patreon?

No surprise here given how big my Tumblr audience is versus 350 people on Patreon, but I wanted to ask this so I could give context to this next question.

Is there something in particular that would make you more likely to become a Patron?

First things first, my bad on not having the foresight to include a “financial situation” answer. That’s a good 20% of responses and I really should have included it.

I was very, very interested to see that input and voting was such a big deal! This seems to have been a blind spot for me, perhaps because I’m just bad at running polls and figuring all of that out, but damn. The Patreon version of the survey also confirmed that this is a big deal. So I am going to be sitting down with my Patrons and figuring out what tiers need to be voting and the resulting audio, as well as how I’ll be able to deal with things like the big split between characters. I don’t know exactly how that’ll play out, but obviously it’s an important factor that needs to be incorporated to my Patreon.

I’m also flattered that 25% of responses just want more access to me, my process, and stuff like that. I can post more. I’m looking at doing Patreon specific monthly Q&A’s for a start and I’ll also pick my Patrons’ brains for more ideas.

As for more exclusive audios, this is tough. I already do three as it is, and now I’ll be figuring out how to get Patron input on those. I don’t want to put too much content behind a paywall, you know? Like, I get it, people would pay for it. That’s really cool! There is a trade off, though. More exclusives may in some cases mean I can’t always put out as much public stuff. Now, that might change with script submissions taking some of the workload off of me. As it stands, I just don’t know. First things first, I’ll figure out the whole voting and submission thing and improve the exclusives that are already in place.

Does personal engagement with me matter to you?

You like me! You really like me! My big takeaway here is “Yeah, you’re alright, but don’t answer 20 questions in a row and ruin my dash, please.” I think that’s what it means, at least. I needed to know if I needed to STFU or just keep doing my thing, so I’ll keep on doing my thing. <3

One of the recurring themes in the additional comments section was that Tumblr kind of sucks for audios. A better system would be ideal and I think everyone is absolutely right. I don’t have any answers right now, but know that I’m thinking about this a lot, and I want to do something about it.

Thank you all for taking your time to fill out my survey, and of course, thank you for following, listening, and being all around awesome. This was incredibly insightful and I hope that with this information I can make some big improvements around here!

#long post

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libarygoldfish · 5 years

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Dead until you awake - Hamilton fanfiction, Ghost AU (Chapter 1 )

Author :

I really want to post this fic somewhere and have it back up on some part of the internet. This is a collaboration between me and my dear friend Trinnie. I love it with all my heart. So please don't insult our work if you somehow found it and read it.

Rating:

Warning: Major character death, graphic violence

Category: M/M, F/M, Multi

Fandom: Hamilton (Lin Manuel Miranda)

Characters: Alexander Hamilton, Charles Lee (Li), Ling Li,

Relationship: Alexander Hamilton & Charles Lee (Li), Karin Simons (OC)/ Charles Lee (mention/post)

Additional tag: suicidal character, drug use, accident, embarrassing violation of privacy, parental issues, college failure, teenage pregnancy, attachment issues, etc

Chapter 1 :

Alex raises a middle finger to the man who drove him and his wet carton boxes to his new accommodation. It was a makeman following orders from Mr. Schuyler, helping Alex one final time before closing all his doors to the Schuyler family. Great. Another way to rub it in his face that he was never part of it anyway.

He looks at the small townhouse with its yellowing front yard and spider-webbed windows with a sigh. It is unbelievably cheap and strangely free of any negative feedback. Once Alex thought he had seen somebody said the place was haunted, but then the comment was deleted within an hour. Seems like the website has a good filter with spam content then.

He knows for sure he’d feel very alone in it. Such a big home for no one but him. Alex normally would get angry at this moment, angry at Eliza’s impassive expression and the way she gladly turned from him with a hand on her slightly swollen stomach. He’d get angry if he has the energy for it.

But he doesn’t. Everything is taken away from him: his education, his job, his girlfriend, his child growing in her stomach, and now his anger. His life is a spilled glass of water. And he wants to break the glass.

The floor squeaks when Alex starts carrying in his boxes. As if there is a second pair of feet walking with him but Alex pays no attention. He observes the heavily hanging webs across the furniture and upper corners, almost like thin veils of invisible brides. It’s a nice place to die, nobody will probably find him for a long time.

He wonders if the bottle of bromethalin rodenticide will be painful once Alex gathers enough courage to use it.

He enters the bathroom and is happy to see the taps still work. But the old water leaks a color brown and he leaves it open until it looks safe enough. The bedroom seems to be less dirty other than a few webs scattered on top of the neatly made blanket covering the bed. He simply flings it to the floor and lies down, closing his eyes for sleep to naturally come and claim his idle, unenergetic body.

Ten years, this is his 10th year stuck in this awkward position. He hasn’t get out of this haunted house since 2008. Everything seems to get bigger and fancier over this decade, but he’s still that 21 years old Charles Lee. He thinks while remembering what it was like when this new kid moved in a week ago.

People who rented this house would always move out before their one year contract reached an end. They would curse at the owner through texts, trying to leave a comment on their website, or even collecting evidence about him. They have never succeeded to get any attention, you can see their plans fall apart by those new ones filling into their empty spots. Nobody knew that being noticed was harder than they imagined.

Take this new roommate he has as the example. This ponytail-teen seems to be ignoring his present from the very first second. This boy, whose name clearly is Alex based on his email account and how most of his friend address him in that flat-touchable phone. “ Alex” hadn’t even seemed to notice he have a ghost roommate. No matter how much noises and signs he makes with every part of the house.

Shaking window? Alex simply gives it a glare before he continues his meaningless small paragraphs ( who even would spend that much of the time to debating on a website that you can only type 140 words ? ).

Disrupting the signal so that the youtube site would play a video which screams out his name? His emotionless new roommate only texted what happened to a guy named John.

Not even with his best trick that makes everyone “ realized” they have a nonhuman roommate. Alex, or more correctly, one of the worst roommate he ever had in this house ( Burr won the worst place easily, but this guy feels worse than him in a way). Charles can’t believe he just wiped those words off without a flinch, those words he spent hours and precious energies on… what a monster he is facing here.

And a monster deserves to be treated like one, he has to use that forbidden way to communicate with Alex.That way he hadn’t had a chance to do since 2009.

“Hi, Alex, I’m your ghost roommate Charles Lee. Can you please pay more attention to the fact You HAVE a roommate and he’s NOT a human? How can you possibly ignore every sign I gave you? Anyway, please stop ignoring my present cause I… really need your help on something important... please stop pretending you saw nothing, or I will keep typing on your thin computer and that flat-touchable phone. ”

He types down everything he wants to shout into Alex’s face while the boy is writing another long paragraph about something he doesn’t give a fuck. All he needs is this asshole to notice him, and at least do something about it.

Honestly? Comment section fighting is now the only thing that keeps Alex alive. It’s small and unexpected, but Alex had nothing else to look forward to when he goes to bed every day. It drags him out of bed, although he only changes places by sitting on the dusty desk. Still, progress is progress. Even if it’s tiny and insignificant.

Alex hasn’t even cleaned the place ever since he came here. If he’s going to die very soon, why bother cleaning it? He remembers he once was the most hard-working employee and what did it cause him? His education. Maybe his sanity is also out of the question. Which is why he’s seeing the pointer blinking and blinking as the keyboard types on its own. Alex raises his hands away but the stream of words continues nonetheless.

Interesting. But this says nothing. Alex thinks this website has such an interesting AI to respond to him. He thought AI’s would never admit they’re not human. Unless they have come up with a roleplaying model, then that’s very understandable. He decides to give it a try.

He simply types back. “Why should I pay attention to this non-human roommate? If he’s staying, isn’t he obliged to split the ownership payment with me?”

“Why should I pay attention to this non-human roommate? If he’s staying, isn’t he obliged to split the ownership payment with me?”

Can a human be more… insensitive about what just happened to him? On his computer? Charles Lee is certain that he made those keyboards typed themselves in a normal human’s eyes. Are the technologies really that advance right now? But things are still going by his plan, this one is still communicating with him.

He dislikes how this new human has no respect or fears toward him...but he remembers how great a human interaction felt like, and how much does he miss it.

So he continues sucking up battery power from Alex’s strange computer while writing down his reply to explain the situation. Jokingly trying to convince his new roommate why he doesn’t need to pay the rent.

“Are you really asking why a ghost doesn’t need to pay rent? …

Here’s why I don’t need to pay anything. First, I don’t need any place to do anything I need to. For example, I’m sitting in the same spot you are now, in a thick layer of dirty blankets. do you feel my weight or anything on you? No? great. See my point?

Second, this is MY house. Well, technically my grandma’s now, cause I leave it to her after I became a ghost.

… Should I start proving I’m a real ghost now like those weird comedy movies? “

He crosses his leg after he finished the reply, saving some additional energy he got from touching/possessing Alex’s device. Today seems to be a bit, no, so much fresher than these ten years (not physically, of course, his house is still dusty like a winter storm). To have another person to truly communicating with is… unbelievably happy. Not like he doesn’t enjoy alone time and watching others living their own lives. He’s dead, he shouldn’t have any desire to be and live like other humans. He should be moving on from this.

He won’t be one of those people who can’t move on.

Alex blinks. It’s a bit harder to tell if this is an AI that hacks into his computer or not. But then he remembers the writing on his mirror. The way his video game specifically chanted over and over in a demonic tone.

Definitely a ghost then.

“Are you a ghost of a Revolutionary general?” Alex now asks aloud. He tries not to feel stupid. But then he’s seeing a blurry silhouette, the glitchy motion around this figure.

Could it be that the more he believes in this being, the more of it he would see? Alex recalls the theory from an old movie he saw.

He opens up a Word document and types in.

“How did you die? Why didn’t you go to the afterlife? Is there an afterlife at all?”

[Fin-fucking-nally!] Charles shout out after hearing Alex’s questions. Feeling terribly happy about his new roommate’s recognition of his identity. He starts typing out his replies after calming down from that shouldn't be existed excitement.

“ That would be cool and sad if I’m from the 18th centuries. But no, I’m just a regular college fuck-up from 10 years ago. “

He can't help but imagines how terrible would it be if he's here since 1776, that kind of ghost is definitely one that can’t move one, 10 years isn't that long when compared to centuries of existence.

He continues typing in his reply after thinking about them for a few minutes.

There’s nobody to tell him can he tell a human that or not… But since this isn't a classic horror film interaction, why not telling him about it? Not like it and privacy matters that much anymore.

“ Wow wow, slow down my dude, that's some... long-story-short questions you just asked. But before I answer any of those, I need to know would you help me out or not first, a simple yes or no. Because, you know, those questions are awfully personally to a ghost, to a stuck one like me.

Alex shakes himself awake at that reply. It’s been a week since he moved in and Alex hasn’t gone outside at all; he didn’t eat much and is still counting on the fridge stock. He hasn’t interacted with anyone, which may have caused him to forget very basic manners. He forgot he has just asked someone, a former human, how they died.

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to offend you. What do you mean by “help out��? What will this help entail? I pretty much have nothing to do for now so time’s not a concern.”

Alex smiles bitterly at his own reply. Time was something he never had before. He enrolled in college with an unbelievable amount of financial aid, his name too innocuous for filtering. After that, he learned that uni had never been the highschool endgame, the movie ending he imagined. No, it was a storm of progress.

He balanced between study with finding enough dough to feed himself. It went well until Alex was wrought with illness after spending 14 hours a day outdoors in January running errands. He lost precious time for his work, his study and was brought into the care of one Eliza Schuyler. She was doing Meds but helped out her Nursery friend who couldn’t attend her practicals. Eliza was drawn to his hard work and scathing humor, the way his speech naturally flaunts.

She just didn’t know that the downsides to him were sleepless nights, a frayed mind and a man desperate to rise above his station.

She realized too late when her belly swelled and she had to hide from her sisters by staying over at his place 24/7. The nights she couldn’t sleep with his desk lamp on and the cackling of his keyboard, her feet aching which prevented her from seeking relief from the morning sickness. The way Alex tried to do work from home to tend for her needs went underappreciated. They were sketched in different shades of pencil gray, smudged in terrible condition. Both missing schools, both not working enough to sustain themselves and both miserable. Both failing uni and there was no salvation but to retake the year. Scholarship ripped away from Alex and his chance of regaining a similar one is a number with many zeros behind a dot.

One of them had a family to fall onto, the other did not. And he would never do. And he will soon make a child fatherless with the bromethalin waiting in his bag like a ticking time bomb.

He stands up from his former position, taking few steps to face that kid who smiles bitterer than how he should in his age. Not like he’s that much older than him, but he knows what other kids look like at his age, at least how they look like at 2008. Replying him further with a sarcastic tone between his sentence doesn’t sound like a good option at this moment. Charles decides to write his answer with a different kind of tone he was planning to use.

“ Non taken, it was good enough that you are curious than furiously trying to kick me out…”

He remembers the first few families who seem to care about him at first. Our little girl has an imaginary best friend, they said. How cute, he like a dog just like her, they awed. He wants her to let him be IN her body, they screamed. Totally ignored is the reason behind his intention to possess her, only looked into the things that conquered over their minds. Most humans who didn’t get scared treated him like a pest. forgetting who is the real owner and who’s the new *guest*.

“ ...that help relates to my afterlife. To answer your one of your question, Yes, the afterlife does exist. Even though I haven’t been to my own afterlife yet. But I can feel it... like that company you always want to get in, but you just not qualified... ANYWAY. I, clearly still stuck in between. This means I still haven’t moved on, I still have regrets I NEED to fulfilled… I know we just start to know each other for couples minutes, it’s fine if you don’t want to help me at all. “

He tries to look Alex in the eyes, saying out the help he needs while typing it down.

“ Can I… Possess you? And maybe borrow your thin-Computer for a day. I just need to find her, I mean, finish that things I can’t leave behind … I won’t overdo it, of course, even I know too much possession can kill a human. “

Alex blinks and rereads. Blinks some more. Traces the line with his finger. So his battery level has decreased almost by half. He quickly imagines how being killed by this will be like; probably feeling drained and tired until you suddenly drop dead like a shut-down PC.

So it’ll be a sort of death in your sleep kind of way...suddenly the bromethalin seems a tad ridiculous. Alex’s having an easy way out, and it comes unexpectedly almost like everything else in his life.

“So..Charles? Why are you asking for permission? Did you almost kill someone when you tried to possess them?” He asks to find out if there’s really a guarantee of death should this possession business be real.

“ Well, it’s a tradition. A routine we need to follow if we need to possess a living thing. Like… inviting a vampire into your house? “

Charles types back with a sense of relief but misunderstands Alex’s reaction to his response. He only catches his reaction of him touching the decreasing battery level.

“To be honest, I have never really possessed a person more than an hour before. I heard about how possession kills a health human though. And killing someone with this… unfortunately *power* isn’t my intention.”

He lies down on the ground, pretending he can feel those dust on the floor again. Like what he used to do when he wanted to avoid his parents’ meeting. Sleeping on the cold floor with AC running whole night always made him sick enough to not seeing anyone, but still able to do his works.

Alex for a moment cannot see the blurry figure anymore and panics a bit. He hasn’t seen it lying down.

“Wait? Where are you?” He calls. “I’m curious, how do you know you are poss- how do you know you have successfully possessed someone?”

“And how will possessed death be like, I wonder? Is it like brain dead or stop-breathing-dead?”

“ I'm on the ground buddy. Already missing me without even seeing me clearly?”

He didn’t get up from the ground but stay in the same position, typing out his answer with his head this time. One of the few good things about being a ghost, you can type with your mind. Which lower the rated battery dies out, but still takes a lot of battery power out fast.

“I’m glad you are getting serious now, cause your computer is dying faster than I thought. Well, I would be able to control your physically. Kinda like your 2nd personality in some way, you would still be able to interact with me internally??

…and the ...um, death? It would be like a brain dead situation. I would be slowly draining your brain, human’s natural energy source, where we have most of the electric signals going on. That’s probably an important reason why a ghost need consent to possess anyone. We are basically slowly sucking up your life juice. “

“...how can I trust you to control me?” Alex asks, shuddering. This sounds like an out-of-control situation and that’s something unacceptable for Alex. No way. Not after the downward spiral he and Eliza were helpless to escape.

“Can’t you do what you’re doing now? Like…” Alex looks to the ground, not seeing the blurry figure very well so he pins his gaze onto a particular spot. “Like...not be in my body but still using my life force?”

John’d criticize him for his need to control everything. But Alex thinks once you’ve reached such a low point as now, your complex is of the least concern.

He wonders if Charles needs to keep his ghostly state a secret.

“Well, that’s not how human possession works, unfortunately.“

He replies to Alex with a smirk on his face, chuckles lightly from how easy human imagines possession would be. Why would he be controlling those machines than humans when humans are so much more efficient?

“ I figured out that we can only control lifeless subjects distantly, but not any lives who have a thought. Do you know I even have to negotiate with a bird if I want to possess it? Yes, I tried E V E R Y T H I N G . “ And he can’t understand any of their words no matter how hard he tried.

“And I’m only a regular ghost who barely managed to keep my energy wave together, forcing a living being to be fully under my control… would possibly break me apart. So yeah, you totally don’t need to worry about me doing anything you don’t want. I would be like your subpersonality, who doesn’t have enough power to push you away from the spotlight? “

For a moment, Alex isn’t going to take the risk. But then he sees himself in the phrase “tried E V E R Y T H I N G” and does a double-take. He knows very well the feeling of having done everything and still ends up alone. Defeated. A failure.

That feeling of loneliness, helplessness and trapped is what he sees in this ghost friend. He has nothing to lose. And even if he dies from this, maybe Charles can take over his body. And live a better life than him.

It’s a win-win.

“You’ve got yourself a deal. How do I give consent?” Alex asks into thin air.

Charles can't hide his smile when Alex really agree with this … Is he truly going to give his consent to use his body? Dear god, I promise I won’t kill this innocent kid and use his body as little as possible.

“OMG, you are giving me your consent ?! ...Here, repeat this sentence after me till you can see me laying on...no, sitting on the ground with my favorite sweater. “

He sits up and tries to make himself looks less messy, someone is going to look at him clearly with giving him consent. At least Alex would see a ghost with a fixed hair. A good first expression would probably make their face to face interaction less awkward.

“ repeat after this till you see me: I, Alex (your full name), agree to let Charles Lee possess me at my free will. Not because of outside force or threat by the ghost who is going to take control of my body temporarily.”

“If something goes wrong...Nah, I mean, who is there to miss.” Alex chuckles carefreely and repeats the phrase written on his screen.

“I, Alexander Hamilton, agree to let Charles Lee possess me at my free will. Not because of outside forces or threat by the ghost…” A drop of sweat trails down the side of his face. Alex is really reaching the end of this sentence. He has forgotten what it feels like for his heart to beat this fast, for him to feel the liveliness of expectation, “who is going to take control of my body temporarily.”

He shuts his eyes.

A connection suddenly appears right after Alex finishes his sentence. Charles can take control of Alex’s body without any barrier now. But he wants to wait till he finally can see him in the eyes. And make sure he still agree on doing it afterword.

“Alright, I think we have built that route for possession now… can you hear me? “

He asks curiously, trying to calm himself down from talking to a real human in five years. Hoping Alex would be able to hear him.

“ Do you… regret your decision now ?”

Alex’s eyes open as he is startled by the sudden voice in the previously quiet room. Following the direction of it, Alex sees a young man sitting on the floor.

A handsome face, symmetrical and nice to look at if not for the way blood is dripping over the left side of it. His ghost, Charles Lee, is wearing a large sweater with the faded writing of a university name. His skin is translucently pale, so pale that the dark eye bags are as pronounced as eye make-up.

“You are...Charles?” He reaches out to touch the ghost’s shoulder and it felt as if his hand passes through a block of ice. It’s a numbing feeling, strangely calm. If death is actually like this, Alex doesn’t see why he has anything to fear.

“No. I don’t regret it.” He offers his hand for a shake. “Not at all.”

“ Yep, I’m your local-very-dead ghost roommate, Charles Lee. “

He puts on a more relaxing smile when Alex start asking him questions instead of getting irrational about his present, he did meet a better human this time. Better than the last human who tried to kick him out with holy water (which was only a waste of money).

“ I’m glad that you didn’t freak out meeting me. You know, I don’t exactly look like a normal human. Do I give you a good first expression? Like my style so far ?”

He shakes Alex’s hand with his most steady handshake, greeting his temporarily human in a manner he hasn’t use for ages. Can’t help but gets exciting about having this opportunity enter his life, well, dead-life.

“ Are you sure you are ready for a possession though? I don’t feel you have enough energy for it. “ He asks after shaking Alex’s hand, noticing the condition of his current stage isn’t as good as he imagined before their connection.

“Let’s roll with it. I’m probably the best chance you’ve got.” Alex brushes off Charles’s concern for his health. “We’ll start soon. I’m gonna help you free yourself from regrets.”

Even though Alex is still living with his.

“ … Let’s start this tomorrow, I insist. We need to give your body some time to get used to our connection. “

He pats his new human on the shoulder and tried his best to still looks exciting. Like this connection between them only means the possession, nothing more.

But he knows nothing more about it, this is a completely new experience for him too. He has no idea what might happen next.

“both of us need some charging right now. Possession would work the best with a fully rested body. “

And so they slept.

#hamilton #fanfic #ghost au #alexander hamilton #charles lee #college fail #tw: death #tw: self loathing #tw: sucidal thoughts #main character death #afterlife #collab #parental issues

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pankopop · 7 years

Text

(Dis)Content Creators

Youtubers, 2014’s lasting models of Harrasment, and how the internet is suddenly a lot more left than you’d think.

(Note: pardon the messy mishmash of Unicѻde characters here and there, I’d rather not be part of the witch hunt for masturbatory mass-debαting, and I find flying under the S.E.O. radar helps that endeavor.)

Recently, Јѻntroп’s been acting the right dick. He’s never been the smartest cookie, and it’s not his paid job to be the shining example of internet public figuredom. But people are kinda reasonably pissed about his “whats wrong about locking refugees out lol” tweetstorm of late. And a lot of it, I’m sure, is a kind of disappointment. There’s a lot of people out there who look up to him, know his life story, and I guess for some reason expected more compassion from him.

To be honest, this isn’t super surprising to anyone who’s familiar with the circles of the Youtube creators. While there’s lots of crossover, and some inevitable bickering here and there, you can roughly feel out the corners of the map.

There’s a contingent of mostly fairly funny and talented animators who met on Nҽwgrѻunds and ended up on Youtube (which ended up sucking for said animators). It’s a tremendous shame that the general humor of the group turned so obsessively toward “Fҽmιnαzϊ SЈש censorship” and anti-sheeple insular rhetoric. But nonetheless, they and Јѻn ended up being quite close knit, and yeah, of course he was going to be a bit emboldened.

Јѻn has always been a bit politically green – I remember him in a podcast (might have been one of the old TGS Co-Optionαl podcasts) where he was trying to defend his claim that people shouldn’t get mad about videogame representations of women, with a woman present. It was like watching a cat fight its collar. He was a consequence free child of the 2007 internet age where “rape” and “retarded” were words to throw out for shock effect. He ended up on rҽddιt, the magical internet island of lost boys who never grow up. Women aren’t oppressed, racism is over, yadda yadda.

In turn, a symbolic partnership with Sӑrgѻп of Ѧkҟӓd, a non-face of gӑṃеrgatҽ, was nothing special. It doesn’t take much to join in the circle jerk; tweet about cultish sheeple being racist toward MEN and you’ve earned yourself a seat.

Still, how dangerous can the partnership of such a pop icon and a chin stroking self-acclaimed genius of a cock get? How will this play out?

To be honest, I think it’s been playing out since it began. It got us into this political mess, and remains the swarming gadflies of twitter we know and love today.

MECHANISMS OF THE GATE

This cybercultural partnership between pop culture and the rҽichwing should remind us about the ways in which Gӑṃеrgatҽ still affects the current political climate, specifically in online spheres. Notably, it’s interesting to see the cultural attitudes remain the same. Even in the face of finding something absolutely ridiculous to defend, the urge to take the pseudo-philosophical discѻurse to fucking prove intellectual superiority™ is apparently too delicious.

During my Bachelor, I researched that 2014 pissbaby fiasco to death. I would work it in to whatever essay I could, and for a while compulsively hoarded every available peer- reviewed article on online-shittiness-culture I could find. Something I wrote a lot about when I was filtering through gӑṃеrgatҽ’s language was not only a unified lexicon of insult, posturing, and argumentation, but a specific frameworks and ideologies of rationality.

Almost all of gӑṃеrgatҽ was hinged on insisting on two things:

-Race doesn’t exist, it’s not a thing, so stop making it a thing. If you’re talking about race, then you’re using PoC as an argumentative crutch, and surely no better than a racist. Erasure must occur, because I don’t want to have to defend my view that whiteness is normalcy.

-Gender does exist, it’s binary, and all common-sense differences between genders are rooted in biological fact. For example, women don’t play real video games because their biological drive for empathy stops them from shooting baddies.

(Queerness, and expression thereof, are often side stepped. Usually lumped into the race category - “gay people have nothing to do with it”. Sometimes lumped into the gender category, as often non-normative heteromasculinity is seen as performed.)

Regarding race, it is an argument of who belongs. Regarding gender, it is an argument of who is superior. These tenets of social structure in the world of “whoever debates wins” are still smeared across the comment sections of the world today. It’s only been two and a half years. The people who felt empowered in the gӑṃеrgatҽ movement will hold these attitudes close.

It appears to me that the biology-backed “common-sense” ideologies regarding gender superiority remain at wild play here. It’s a language of caricatures, and the SЈש is a woman.

The ideological transposition seems to go like this:

The woman, who lacks rationality, and is more prone to emotional outbursts of empathy. is not endowed, biologically, with the clearheaded, objective rationality of men. Therefore, even their empathy is comparatively feigned and weightless, and like the difference between a three year old crying over spilt milk vs. a grown man’s grievance over the death of a loved one.

The thing about worldviews like this is that once the first egg becomes a chicken, it doesn’t take long for the chicken to lay an egg.

Where maybe at first, the SЈש was a kind of woman, but types and tokens blur. All women become likely SЈשs. Women become SЈשs when they have a point that doesn’t align with a man. Eventually, the SЈש is just the woman out of line, refusing to virtuously lick the philosopher-king’s boots and parrot their objectivities.

But this accusation would be an affront to a gӑṃеrgatҽ-minded uberṃҽinsch! Pure sexism actually! Who’s talking about gender here!? We were only talking about how SЈשs are unreasonable! YOU’RE the one being sexist.

You can trace some of that same DNA of the Discѻurse™ around the refugee crisis. As soon as you reframe/move the goalposts of a racist problem to a Nationality problem, then you cannot by definition be islamophobic, because you’re not talking about humans anymore. You’re talking geography. Even though you did just totally say something incredibly racist, it doesn’t count cuz the tweet was deleted.

I’ve seen the term “Virtue Positioning” being tossed around recently. It’s interesting to note that as the subjects for debate get bloodier and messier and death counts become necessarily attributed to it, the goobermeinsch’s rebuttal is that empathy is sidestepping the issue. Who cares if people die, the important part is I’m taking you to town in INTELLECTUAL CHESS! WHOO! (It matters not that I will only frame the debate in ways where I win).

The positioning that’s actually going on is ideological frameworks of gender being set up so that the left is female, the right is male, and therefore the right wins. It’s what fuelled gӑṃеrgatҽ in 2014, and I guess the tactic’s effective enough to keep around.

“WHATEVER-DUDE” SOLUTIONS

What do you do when confronted then? I feel it would be pointless bringing this similarity up and leaving it hanging. If there’s been two years of resisting this harassment, then there’s gotta be some methods to employ.

When you’re asked to play house-rules calvinball, you know that you’re not going to win any medals. What can debate possibly hope to accomplish right now?

“Whatever dude. Have a good life.”

We are not here to debate. We are here to donate. We are here to protest. We are here to resist.

(DISCLAIMER: I mean, for god’s sake listen to the people who have legitimate problems and call-outs. Intersectionality is not divisive, it is the all-too-frayed twine that will unite people together, and everyone resisting would do well to strengthen our bonds with allies by throwing out our fuckhead perceptions about immutable goodness of the ego.)

The march does not halt to win over a “well AAAAaactually...” Your arguments belong with the demanding of accountability. Your energy should be spent doing what you can to help those who you can help. Internet progressives, just do your thing. Be there for the oppressed, and win the day - or as many days you can.

The Right’s not winning people over right now – when you get what you want out of a scam, you don’t hang around and try to patch up friendships. The thing about supporting and defending fascism is that before long, they turn you into an outsider. It doesn’t matter who you are, if your eyebrows are a bit too thick you’ll become a muslim. Your sexual deviancy makes you dangerous. Your chronic illness makes you a leech. Could just be a wrong place, wrong time. No matter how many boots you lick, they will step on you.

Sooner or later, people will see the trouble they’re in. They’ll convert. The Right’s numbers are always borrowed. Until that point, we’re gonna look real cultish to the cult. That’s how cults work: the world’s gone to shit and you’re the only “sane” ones.

YOUR HEROES ARE LEFT

There’s at least one silver lining to this cross-section of internet personality and this general craziness: a good majority of Youtube personalities know what’s up. In the last few weeks, I’ve seen a lot of people drop the apolitical guise. It’s not that they were centrists before - talking politics was just dodgy in the industry. But there’s a healthy amount of “fuck it” right now, and I’m happy for all of those sore, long-bitten tongues. I’m glad there’s enough of a contingent of generally older, 20+ viewers and consumers and patrons to send words of support and relief that their podcast hosts aren’t ทαzi sympathizers. There’s still a wall of sludge, but skins are being quickly hardened.

I’m most happy for all the kids. All of those 15 year olds who thought they were on the culture war’s hateful winning side, to wake up one day and their twitter feed is filled with distressed, active, and empathetic people. Marching and resisting.

Although it’s certainly not the entire story, a lot of these personalities are looked up to. They are the adults who “get” videogames, who talk about Anime and comic books – they’re 2017’s equivalent to the cool record shop owner in the 70’s who introduces you to punk.

I hope this “fuckit” storm shattered a lot of assumptions, and I hope that it spurs a reconsidering of the places where the good stuff on the internet comes from. (Hint: it’s not hatred).

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