#and i almost own the third

[mydaylight]

We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson: English covers

#we have always lived in the castle #shirley jackson #book covers #book #literature #I own the first one and I love it #almost gives you a claustrophobic feeling #but most of these slap so hard #I'm obsessed with the second one and Merricat wearing the table cloth #and the design of the Blackwood gate #the first on the third row was the original 1962 edition

[mooshroomterrarium]

Grian fell from a high place.

3rd Life (manga ver.) — End

#... haha i uh. sorry #this composition came to me in a vision and i couldnt rest until i made it real #manga adaptation when....pls.....they deserve it...... #(the stains on his thighs and torso are from cradling scar in his lap btw. if u were wondering.) #3rd life #3rd life smp #third life #third life smp #trafficblr #life smp #grian #my art #sorry to my friend who had to witness my layer structure for this with admittedly warranted horror #at one point i had almost every lock of hair on its own layer lol #but waaahhh why did the screentones export w that weird stripe effect ;-; idk how to prevent it... #tw suicide #mouseposting

[quickhacked]

Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.

by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays

#cp2077 #edit:mikhail #edit:vitali #nuclearocs #nuclearedits #happy birthday to my two boys :^) yes they share the same birthday what about it. it's essential to their whole. thing #whatever it is. they're like soulmates but also they are NOT dating. i need you to understand that. because it makes everything funnier #you guys remember when i first introduced them here and people thought they were together. good times honestly #but yeah no vitali is officially dating vincent and mikhail is just their eternal third wheel. their relationship can't be defined #they also reunite of course but i LOVE emphasizing their grief. they didn't know they'd ever see each other again #and they've known each other since around age 12. imagine spending almost every day with someone who CHOSE you #and then suddenly not seeing them or talking to them for YEARS. what do you do with that grief. that pain #sure they've found each other back but what do you do with that. where do you put it. it makes me insane!!! #they both were so lonely in their own way. vitali getting lost in vices and crowds but ending up all by himself at the end of the day #and mikhail drowning himself in studying and pushing himself far over his limits just to distract himself from the hole in his chest #night city in my head is much more massive than what it feels like in game. like yeah it feels big but not. BIG big #and i think mikhail and vitali's story and them losing contact while only a district apart really emphasizes how like #how HUGE this city is not only in terms of actual land it covers but also just. how overwhelming it is. how it can swallow you whole #anyway if you've read all of this hi. wanna make out

[killemwithkawaii]

Alright, the kewk classic 'face hole' design it is~ 📊✅

"Ain't he a doll?" 💋💦💕

And now while I fuck with this anatomy sketch 5ever, we gotta decide on a background! I'm thinking Sal would prefer to do his love-sick swooning in the privacy of his bedroom, but where, exactly? 🤔

'The bed'-

Perks: seems more routine, sowft snuggly nest to daydream and swoon in, [darling] collage on the wall, '... okay, what have you been doing with that pillow...?'

Drawbacks: Limited space, have to take stability/sinking into account with props, perspective is Hard and I will make that headboard look good or die trying

'The floor'-

Perks: seems more impulsive, more yan/NEET clutter potential (more room to spread out), a glimpse under his bed (and at all the [darling] stuff he's got shoved under there)

Drawbacks: That carpet is UGLY, I will probably (definitely) bite off more than I can chew trying to fill all that space with props, it hurts my Everything just thinking about lying on the floor like that for too long

'Secret third thing'-

....???? idk you tell me lol

#sally face #sal fisher #love sick sally #tw yandere #tw unsanitary #sorry steve #lime #(just implied a little ((for flavor)) #im laughing at the potential of the 'secret third thing' #planking on his dresser? Chillin like a vamp on the ceiling?? Sliding up the wall like a slug??? #Periodic reminder: Your only artistic limitation is your own imagination...~🌈♾ #i gotta come up with a tag for this redraw so all the posts can be dug up later #i was gonna just make a chain of reblogs with the original post but decided it would get waaaaay too long by the time im done #im so flattered that yall chose the face hole design fr qwq 💖💖💖 #I'd have been happy either way but it was a close race for a while and im just pleasantly surprised 🥺💗 #side note: ive recently been going down an OG l/oony tunes rabbit hole (bu-dum-tss) so if my doodles start lookin more cartoony thats why #k.e.w.k. x sally #(I'll probably be doing little selfship doodles on this at almost every stage of this redraw bc it sparks joy and i deserve it uwu 💙)

[gracebriarwoodwrites]

I am reviving the child I killed in church. I choked the holy rebellion out of that child in centuries-old pews and the cramped chairs of my old school's cafeteria when the first church wouldn't do. I worshipped false gods, Behavior and Belonging. I pretended at godly womanhood at 13 because I could not be that angry, bloody-knuckled, righteous child anymore. It hurt too much.

I failed my new gods miserably, but that didn't stop me for years. I was not palatable. I could not be delicious to those who would devour me whole, so I kept devouring myself and tried again. I was Prometheus and his eagles together in one flesh. I denied myself my fire with religious zeal. I would save the ending world and the world would let me--if I could only learn what sweater to buy and how to straighten my hair.

God, I never should have rejected my rage. Restore my heart.

#poem #poetry #spilled ink #religious trauma #rage #i need to give a huge thank you to two of my favorite singers #kate nyx who is xynetak on here #for inspiring the second two lines of the third stanza and for helping me grow back into my own heart #and #ethel cain who is mothercain on here #whose album preacher's daughter and particularly the song sun bleached flies made me remember a huge portion of my life #that i had almost entirely forgotten

[carlyraejepsans]

I’ve started watching Utena because of you. What. Is going on

HI. WELCOME TO THE CLUB, watch the trigger warnings. but yeah, revolutionary girl utena veers more and more towards surrealism the further you get into the series. it often and voluntarily forfeits narrative/logical consistency in favor of visual storytelling, metaphors and symbolism. i was just talking about it with nic the other day, and if the story weren't so harrowing, i would recommend it to everyone who wants to get into literary analysis, because it is SO packed with symbolism EVERYWHERE that it actually encourages you to try to decode it.

whatever you think utena is about, it is NOT. you can't go in and treat it like your 49293th classical shoujo. utena is a firework show of visual symbolism and it very rarely, if ever, explains itself to the viewer. it refuses to handhold you, but it never berates you for trying and getting it wrong either. there is SO much handholding in modern day media, but utena trusts its viewer to take away something meaningful from itself and to piece its message together on their own. it's one of my favourite pieces of media of all time just for that

#it's almost closer to a poem and to poetry than to a story in the sense that we think think about today #you see why ye standard transformative fandom was never able to take hold with utena? #my suggestion is try to actively analyze what's going on and the symbols presented to you as you go along #find recurring motifs. utena deals a LOT with cycles and repetition (they were playing into their budget limitations and did it brilliantly #what objects keep returning. what characters are they associated with. how do they relate to the irl systems of power the story criticizes #what does the white rose mean #^ had a lot of fun trying to figure that one out. i landed on something other people in the fandom also got but then nic told me his take #and yeah they basically pried my third eye open with a crowbar. #this anime made me want to try out symbolism and allegories in my own works #it's so fucking good #but hey if you finish it and still feel like you didn't get 90% of that you can go to nic metanarrates' blog and check out his rgu tag #basically 50% of the fandom posts are visual and narrative analysis. the other 10% is breathtaking art. the remaining 40% is memes #BUT! wait until you're finished..watch for spoilers #rgu #answered asks

[scribbling-dragon]

for the fic requests: i’ve personally been kind of craving a grian & jimmy siblings fic that isn’t all like the “wholesome” or overprotectiveness that i see a lot in the tag, sibling relationships can be pretty nasty but still have that underlying affection or familarity to each other because of shared life experiences etc,, i think a dynamic like that (especially in any of the life series with the added stress of being in a death game, you can choose whatever setting tho because i think those two are just Inherently Fucked Up) would be cool to read about if you’re up for it

are you really siblings if you don't try and kill each other on the regular?

summary:

“Nah, most he’d do is scam you out everything valuable you own.”

“And leave me for dead.” He finishes.

“Well, I never said anything about you not dying to something stupid, just that Scar wouldn't kill you.”

“Wow,” he mutters, “what care and concern from my dearest older brother, truly, I have never felt more loved in my life.”

(ao3 link)

(2,080 words)

(reblogs are also appreciated <3)

The sand shifts beneath his feet as he steps onto it. The grains immediately worm their way into his shoes, through some strange impossibility that should mean that sand shouldn’t currently be in his shoes. There’s no way for sand to be in his shoes, yet he can find the grains itching at his feet almost immediately- within seconds of stepping foot onto the first patch of sand.

He grumbles under his breath, stepping further and further into the desert, squinting his eyes against the offensive sun that does its best to blind him the moment he looks up. The sand continues to sink around his feet, grains worming their way into his shoes and sticking to his feet.

It’s Grian’s stupid fault for choosing to live in such a hostile environment- seriously, there were so many better places for him to pick to live in and yet he chooses a desert? The man’s supposed to be smart, or something, and yet he chooses the biome that is potentially the most hostile to beings living in it (other than, maybe, an ocean. Choosing to live in the middle of the ocean is also a pretty stupid idea, but he’s also pretty sure Grian’s done that too). Maybe the man isn't so deserving of the clever title everyone gives him; maybe he’s just an idiot.

He glances up again, taking his chances with being blinded by the sun to see how much further he has to go. Monopoly Mountain still looms on the horizon, a seemingly insurmountable distance away. It feels as though he’s hardly made any progress with his journey across the desert, and the constantly shifting sand beneath his feet does nothing but add to the nightmarish trek.

He begins to curse Grian out beneath his breath.

“Now that’s just plain hurtful.” He startles, twisting to face the new arrival.

Grian’s perching on a nearby cactus, hand lightly resting on the top of it for balance. His talons curl around one of the arms of the cacti. It doesn't look at all comfortable, and Jimmy hopes he’s picking cacti spines out of his feet for the next week.

“You chose to live in a stupid place.” He complains. “Seriously? What’s wrong with a- a nice forest? Somewhere that’s not this hot or difficult to walk through!” He kicks at some of the sand, which only succeeds in shifting it slightly and adding to the slowly growing desert in the base of his boots.

“It’s for exactly that reason we chose to live here, Tim.” Grian cocks his head to the side. “Don't exactly want everyone wandering on past our base, especially not with so many red lives running around.”

“Hardly anyone’s going to be running past your base with Scar there.” He scoffs. He’s almost tempted to kick at the sand again, but that’d do nothing but make him more annoyed at the existence of a desert. He pledges to himself, then, that he shall never set foot in another desert unless it is with the sole purpose of eradicating every grain of sand from within it. Can't be a desert without any sand, can it?

“Or me.” Grian grins. “More than a few people are wary about me after that enchanting table trap.”

“You give yourself far too much credit.” He laughs. “I was the one that set that trap off- it didn't even work. Everyone overestimates how far you plan ahead.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” he responds. This desert really is far too hot, he can feel the grains of sand beginning to collect between his feathers. Something which is going to be a pain to get out once he’s returned home and is safely away from this hellspawn of a biome. “You don't plan ahead at all.”

“Don't I?” Grian tries to sound surprised, raising his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner. It’s done with the sole intent of irritating him. And it works. Irritatingly. Grian just knows how to get under his skin, managing the feat with nothing more than a few expressions and carefully spoken words.

“No,” he can feel his feathers begin to fluff up a little, “you don't. Have you even thought about how this is going to end? About how all of this is going to end? Because I know you haven't, you never think that far ahead, never beyond the next trap or prank you're planning on pulling, hm? What happens when your contract with Scar runs out? What happens if he’s the one to kill you? What happens if you're the one to kill him?”

“It won't come to that.” Grian frowns at him, wings twitching. The hints at his annoyance are subtle. Everything about him is subtle, subtle up until the point where it is not, and you're left wondering where all of the sudden annoyance came from. “It won't.”

“But it might.” He shrugs. “What happens if you and Scar beat each other to death, hm?”

“The same thing that will happen if you and Scott beat each other to death, Tim,” Grian looks at him. “You die, and you move on. Game over, you go home.”

“And everyone else forgets this even happened in the first place.” He says, shoulders sagging. “Everyone goes home, none the wiser. As though they never disappeared in the first place, because it’s so easy for you to do that.”

“You make it sound like I enjoy that.”

Jimmy sighs. “I know you don't. But you don't think about these things. How are you meant to stop yourself from getting hurt if you don't think about it?”

“Isn't that what you're here for?” Grian asks. He hops down from the cacti, stretching his wings out as he lands. The wingspan is far larger than he normally has, tawny brown feathers so different from the usual bright reds and yellows of his wings.

His own are the same as they've always been. Unchanging. The bright yellow remains unaffected by whatever magic forces Grian to adapt- he’s not sure what he’d prefer; the unchanging warning of his own wings, or being forced to adapt with each different server, changing as he moves between them. 

“And here I thought you actually appreciated my company.”

“Of course not,” Grian scoffs. “Now, what was it you needed? Unless you just felt like complaining at me.”

“Uh,” why was he in the desert in the first place? He hadn't done anything remarkable that day, certainly nothing that he would have decided to trudge out here to inform their allies of- “Oh! Scott wants more sand, says our supplies are running low.”

“And he sent you to do it for him?”

“He’s doing enchants,” he says. “You know I can't do those very well.”

“Oh I am aware.” Grian laughs. “Your attempts are still as messy as when you were ten, I take it?”

He grumbles in response, which only prompts Grian to laugh more even though it isn't really that funny.

“Sand?” He prompts, when he realises Grian’s just going to keep laughing at him. At this rate, he’s going to pass out from a lack of oxygen, or the heat getting to him, before Jimmy can even secure the goods and been on his merry way back to his distinctly not sand-filled home.

“Yeah, yeah, c’mon,” Grian beckons him to follow, and he does, falling into step behind him. Grian moves with ease across the landscape, somehow managing not to sink into the sand as deeply as he does. Maybe it’s something to do with not wearing boots, though he’s certainly not about to risk burning his feet to test it- he’d rather Grian doesn't laugh at him anymore. “I don't see why you couldn't just dig up some of the edges, why come all this way to find me?”

“I'm not about to die because Scar found me digging up part of the desert.”

“He wouldn't kill you for it,” Grian sighs.

“Uh, yes he would. Have you met the man?”

“Nah, most he’d do is scam you out everything valuable you own.”

“And leave me for dead.” He finishes.

“Well, I never said anything about you not dying to something stupid, just that Scar wouldn't kill you.”

“Wow,” he mutters, “what care and concern from my dearest older brother, truly, I have never felt more loved in my life.”

“Oh, knock it off,” Grian nudges him far harder than necessary, pushing him into a small pile of sand that flies up as he kicks it, getting in his eyes and his mouth. He spits the sand out, feeling the grains catch in his teeth as he grimaces.

He stumbles after Grian, just to shove him back, watching him stumble slightly, teetering a little to the side. Grian shoves him back, as though Jimmy’s own shove wasn't revenge already.

He jabs an elbow into Grian’s ribs in return, digging into the spot he knows is especially sensitive after Grian cracked three ribs while attempting to fly for the first time. Grian shouts, loud and wordless, which is all the warning he gets before Grian leaps at him, shoving him down into the sand.

“Grian!” He cries. He can feel sand nestling amongst his hair, digging into his feathers. “Hey, hey!” He shoves at Grian, attempting to dislodge the avian. It doesn't work, and they simply end up rolling around.

Grian kicks at him, talons scratching down his trousers, no doubt ripping his jeans- something he’s going to have to explain to Scott later, no doubt. He kicks right back, shoving at Grian’s face as he goes to bite him, shoving him away until he’s at a safe enough distance that he won't - literally - go for the jugular.

Grian licks his hand.

He pulls it back with a shout of disgust, kicking at Grian hard enough to dislodge him, scrambling to his feet before Grian can lunge at him.

“What was that for!” He yells, hopping back a step when Grian still looks tempted to lunge for him.

“You jabbed me!” Grian yells back, gesturing wildly with his arms. His wings flap too, stirring up the sand and stinging at his eyes.

“And you tried to bite me!” He doesn't shriek- he doesn't. Grian is a known liar, so even if he does go around snitching on him, not that he shrieked in the first place, no one’s going to believe him. “How many times have I told you not to go for the throat!”

“How many times have I told you not to elbow me!” Grian shrieks back at him. “I wouldn't have to bite you if you didn't elbow me!”

“You shoved me first.” He crosses his arms. His wings twitch behind him, feathers ruffling as he tries to dislodge as much of the sand as he can.

“And? It’s my desert.”

“It’s not your desert.”

“Uh, yeah it is?” Grian tips his head to the side. “I live in it. It’s my desert.”

“Whatever,” he throws his hands up, turning around. “I give up! Keep your stupid sand!”

“What are you gonna tell Scott?” Grian yells after him. He ignores him, stalking across the sand, gritting his teeth every time it slips beneath his feet.

When he does arrive back at their base, Scott is still enchanting, nose deep in one of the books and glasses perched precariously on the edge of his nose as he leans forward to read it, quill and ink set aside for the moment.

He looks up as Jimmy enters, eyes widening in surprise at the state of him.

“What happened to you? You look like you had a fight with a bucket of sand and lost.”

“Grian.”

“Ah,” Scott nods his head along sagely. “That certainly explains why you've come back dripping sand, yet seemingly lacking in it.”

“It just wasn't working out,” he waves Scott off. “I'm going for a lie down.”

“Alright,” he nods, watching his husband go. One of his trouser legs was torn, as though it had been ripped to shreds by a wild animal, or a particularly vicious bush. He has a feeling it was neither of those, though. He supposes he must give Grian credit where credit’s due, though he’s not sure what the man gets out of beating his brother up.

It simply makes him all the more glad to be a single child; he can't imagine the hassle of having a brother that seems hellbent on killing you at every turn.

#juno.writes #3rd life smp #third life smp #trafficblr #jimmy solidarity #grian #giving everyone the REAL sibling relationship these guys have #loosely based on an interaction i have had with my own sister (though we almost broke the tv stand in that fight) #solidaritygaming #solidarity gaming #life series #traffic smp #traffic series #scott smajor #(right at the end) #flower husbands

[lavenderjewels]

“kenjaku is the greatest mastermind of jjk, he’s a wolf, the big bad—” and its a loser who spends half of their time playing games or gossiping

#this is a joke. but also not really #i check the kenjaku tags on other sites sometimes and a lot of it REALLY pushes kenjaku as a serious villain mastermind #which always makes me laugh #since a good amount of characters just see kenjaku as some guy but no one’s really cowering in fear 😭 #especially in sukuna and uraumes case #they’re the third wheel lmao #kenjaku #anyway I don’t think I’m conveying this right #they’re fun bc they’re not an undefeatable character and yet they’ve persisted through their own bs and having a lot of time on their hands #but really it’s a feat it’s gone as well as it has 😭 #jjk spoilers #AND YES I’ve made almost this exact post before I just like talking about kenjaku I have no defense for myself

[magistralucis]

Love is... stored in the translation... 😌💖

#warhammer 40k #the twice dead king #oltyx #zultanekh #necrons #necron #translation #korean translation was done by me and colour-coded to show who's speaking #i tell you what zultanekh's speech patterns are Even More Of A Thing in korean. dude switches between like 3 formal registers #props to korean fans of warhams btw. gw does not officially export there nor provide official translations of anything #(all imports into korea are done by third parties with original english intact) #the information-heavy aspect of the korean fandom runs almost entirely on multilinguals who happen to own this stuff #and can provide summaries of novels/codexes/community postings or help translate excerpts #as much as james workshop's practices make me sad i do hope they reach out to a korean market one day #if for no other reason than i really really really want people to purchase all the necron novels!!! aaaaa!!! 🤪

[strawberry-cowmilk]

#nana polls #concert is not even until very long so theres a good chance I'll go with third mystery option #and the only thing I own is the corset #the playsuit was gone in the store in my size and I'm not paying shipping so one of these days I'll have to hunt it down at malls #I'm just excited about the whole thing #concerts I mean #except for that time the artist of my favorite song was performing somewhere I had the chance to travel to and I was booking tickets #but then I realised I'd miss the family vacation flight if I would go and we already paid for that so I had to miss it #I was about to grab a friend and go over there but rip to those plans #omg almost forgot both outfit options got lace

[perenlop]

in hindsight it feels weird that i didnt really latch on to kung fu panda or how to train your dragon, because youd think those would be right up my alley- and its not like i dont like them, i still really like them and enjoy rewatching them, i just dont have the fascination and attachment other people seem to have. instead my brain was always like “i like the funny meme ogre”

#shrek was so foundational for me you have no idea. the second movie is probably like my favorite animated movie ever now that i think about #even if the third movies very mid i also have some nostalgic fondness for it #its a shame that it gets dismissed as just ‘’ugh its a dumb meme franchise its not as serious as dreamworks’s later stuff’’ #bc like. no its got a ton of merit and worth as its own thing #and its almost sad how genuine analysis and appreciation for it has to be capped with a ‘’yes im serious. this isnt a meme.’’ #like theres this dismissive rude attitude towards shrek that the other dreamworks children dont get #you draw httyd fanart and its like a tuesday but you draw shrek fanart you will get obnoxious people who blast you for drawing ‘’dumb memes’ #echoed voice

[cat-brrr]

.

#after almost a YEAR BREAk i finally having a passion to try code something #In general #I learned programming and a lot of other things at a vocational school #but I’m terrible at it #because by the third year I realized that this was not really my thing and I was just trying to end it 😅 #but ive NEVER EVER will forget that hours of sitting next to computer dont understand what if im doing wrong and that terrible smell #because my sit was next to trash can which is was extremely full #which they couldn’t take out because it was summer and after-school hours and the janitor didn’t work those days #its give the mental trauma okay😭😭 #BUT ANYWAY #im trying to remember what ive been studied for and trying to do like my own site hehehaha

[flourbray]

thankyou British railway service spending (at the current moment) one hour on the platform and two further hours on an immobile train is exactly how i wanted to spend my thursday evening

#wi-fi's not even good enough to rewatch koksijde #so i'm picturing a first lap in which mathieu goes to the front almost immediately and powers away from wout at some point during the secon #and rides the whole hour on his own as per usual #although i do already know wout comes third #can't believe i'm about to DNF my commute

[panharmonium]

captain “we can’t afford compassion” yamato strikes again 

#😭😭😭 #okay #first of all #'it doesn't matter whether the things you do for him are great or small' - probably top ten naruto lines for me #second of all #yamato's original mission with team kakashi may have gone off the rails pretty quickly #but the way he handles each individual kid is so effective #this conversation with sakura? perfect #making the executive decision to tell naruto 'the one who injured sakura was you'/the whole 'forget the fox; use your own strength' speech? #masterful #quietly anticipating sai's every move because he used to BE sai in another life? showstopping #THIRD of all - #yamato almost never does these kinds of 'i'm gonna talk about Feelings' conversations #and in this case when he does - #well not to put too fine a point on it but #i think if sakura had had this conversation with gai she might have gotten surprisingly similar advice #naruto #a true equal #team kakashi #*

[dawnpours]

Some of you guys were really nice about my Ez art so I decided to go ahead and post these! Some are very sketchy and/or only make sense in the context of our game, sorry about that! I'll put a few explanations in the tags for fun

Also can you believe that last one is the only in-game canon kiss? That said, play a drinking game with Zone of Truth activated, 11/10 best way to get npc lore and/or try to uncover if your cleric is indeed a werewolf.

#the first one was right after the rest of the party yelled at her for always rushing in and endangering herself #and she was trying to explain to them that that was how she kept them safe #because she knew she was the only one able to take the hits and the others needed the range #but she had gone down a few times at that point and they were concerned and a bit aggressive #and Ez basically took her side and defended her a bit before asking her to still be careful #the hug one is wishful thinking #the third one is when they had a bit of downtime to read a certain book and they were having basically sleepovers for a week #and that's when Rainer realized that this was more than a crush #the kiss one I don't really need to explain but the other girl is Savra #who is Rainer's ex in our game #the comic is right after Rainer was exposed as a warforged #she had her arm almost ripped off by a wolf and wasn't sure she could put it in water #that one is very old and the art is eh but it's still a precious moment #especially since it was the beginning of Ez' comments slowly reshaping Rainer's perception of her own body #then it's just my obsession with drawing people in braids #there is a reason it's Rainer's love language and that reason is I want to draw all the braids #then I just wanted to draw her happy and free after we got part of her backstory #the one where she's from the back is right after Rainer almost got mauled by wolves #i got too excited because I had just gotten Haste and got to 1hp ahahaha #she panicked and got Rainer back up #got beat up herself and then refused healing #saying she was okay #Rainer didn't listen and Lay-on-hands-ed her in passing #this was her reaction and to this day I'm half convinced this was part of her hating that they were starting to care for eachother #and then the last one is her kissing Dhakil (our cleric and the love of my life) #during a truth or dare (with alcohol and zone of truth) where she was dared to kiss someone in the party by our warlock #Dhakil 'touch-averse' Virkas straight up said 'yeah don't be shy' #so she kissed him instead and immediately came out as gay afterwards. a queen. #ezmerelda d'avenir #curse of strahd

[captain-crowfish]

You see I want to fight for change in the world in a "get out there" kind of way but I think my PTSD-induced fear of being caught/getting into trouble hinders me. I don't think I'm able to do anything physically but I do want to help, so if there's anything I can do to fight for change without putting myself in intense danger, please let me know

#im not tagging this “properly” because I think people are gonna get mad at me for saying this stuff #i havent been diagnosed but!!!! i don't feel safe in my own home!!! #my fight or flight response goes into hyperdrive almost every time I'm asked to repeat myself BECAUSE of the shit situations I've been in #a third of all my dreams are about people wanting to kill me #just putting this out there- hoping the right people will come help