#and i can't get out and meet new people

[fatedroses]

A bit of community service work to repay his third chance leads to Hien witnessing Zenos' own special brand of weird.

#ffxiv #sketch #digital art #zenos yae galvus #hien rijin #adventurer zenos #I have finally sat down to learn how to draw the porcupine + his outfit and I will now unabashedly misuse this new power #aka stuff for the au amongst other things #where hien reluctantly gives zenos a chance to prove himself #only to find out hes surprisingly efficient with a strong sense of work ethic- *if* he actually cares about the work hes doing #not at all anticipating that might involve him turning partially into shinryu just to get a bit more utility #and that to redisperse the aether into the surroundings zenos is very carefully making sure the laser is not going to hit anything #I also like to think that once zenos starts learning to respect more than WoL that he is just shockingly polite to people #even if that means when hes listening he is just ***Staring*** #->Lyse+Hien+Yugiri also getting unabashedly praised- Lyse especially- when he learns more about Ghimlyt #following in WoL's footsteps I like to think he'd *try* to form good relationships with leaders and people he meets- #-even if much of it involves attempted murder towards him only for him to go “hey- I can't die. let me do something else for it” #also completely unrelated but I just want minstrel's ballad:shinyru to be the canon version of the fight #I adore how absolutely unhinged that fight is #dog farming meant my entire fc got to sprint across his back and sit on his shoulders before he lobbed us all off #because he was stubborn #and hated dropping the mount for any of us

[ragnarokhound]

"reading under the red hood and it's pretty good i think" - jason todd fan who has only seen the cartoon adaptation of under the red hood

#getting my hands on the comic for utrh is cracking my entire brain open about werewolf fic like you don't understand #the cartoon movie was pretty tight but the comic is more robust. and yall the themes for werewolf fic...they're all coming together #now if only i could write the girls fighting FR I'M TOO SOFT YOU GUYS OTL #i'm just feeling insane over the first confrontation with bruce and how Jason tells him that 'gotham is evil' #and 'you have to fight her where she lives' and 'i live there' LIKE #it's only fueling my crazed impression that the end to Jason's philosophy has only two ends #when he's done what he's set out to do and rid the world of evil by cutting it out (which is futile; blind and toothless etc but details) #either: he changes his philosophy and becomes the very type of villain he hates or he dies himself. because he also deserves death #'i live there' ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? #sorry if this is Not News to people or if Jason has had some serious growth vis a vis this entire mindset but like. #I'M INSANE ABOUT IT. I'M CHEWING ON IT FOREVER #and bruce is the wrong person to try to sway Jason off this path. theres way too much baggage too much history too many complicated feeling #but...tim...? >.> #tim i think has enough 'this is not my philosophy this is company policy and i'm the worlds okayest employee' energy to eventually do it #like obviously stuff would need to Happen for it to be possible lol but you guys. this is what made jaytim so tasty to me in the first plac #tim being capable of meeting jason halfway like bruce can't; tim being able to hold the conversation with jason without it collapsing #tim having rebuttals to jason's arguments that might actually get somewhere with him eventually... #i'm not saying it would be fast or easy or even make sense in canon lmao but think there's a lot of fic potential there owo #like tim's vicious streak is something jason would appreciate. :3c #local jaytim fic author rambles about jaytim in the tags once again more at eleven lol anyway #jason todd #dc

[hopelesslovebug]

Uh hi, could you draw Giorno and Fugo in masquerade style?

sorry anon it's not colored but when you said masquerade my three braincells heat up at the spot

#also i'm tired #i like the designs and the idea i thought of..i will start working on it in the morning.i will also work on simplifying giorno's mask 'cuz #i made it way too complicated for noo reason at all. i also thought of like a quick plot #ok there is this masquerade (of course). i want you to imagine a fancier version of the mafia. the don invented almost all the mafia #into this masquerade with the promise that the one that would know his true identity will be the next don #but the catch that anyone getting way too close is probably going to be killed #weather diavolo doing it for shits and giggles or he is showing that he is truly worthy of the title don #is still up in debate in my mind. buccigang goes just because it's a fancy party (also because there is free food but shhhhhh) #giorno still didn't meet the buccigang yet in this au and he WILL become the new don #trish also still didn't meat the buccigang yet. she would go to one group to another dropping hints about her father identity #she really just wants him dead #she can't say his true identity out right or else she would be killed #and yeah #you know the most cliché murder mystery #it's just kyaaaaaa~ i love this plot since i was 6.i love it soo much. it makes me sad people don't do that often anymore #also put my fav kind of fugio. i mean yeah fugo fell but holy giorno is in a well #*fugo says the most strategic plan you could think of* gio:wow you're so smart darling can i kiss you now? #←didn't understand a single word from fugo #also i didn't say this but it's a masquerade no ones knows about the characters real identity #so they just go with there stands name.ok this is enough my mind is shutting down now #jjba #vento aureo #jjba part 5 #pannacotta fugo #giorno giovanna #fugio #mine #my art #pt5

[fruitsyrups]

Random yes but thank u for making that frusan art awhile ago it's adorable and i love seeing more art of this underappreciated ship :D!!!

ahhh thank you!!! frusan is so underrated FOR REAL, i guess it's probably because after Islands they all but disappeared (like i think they were only shown twice after that and that's including in Fionna & Cake (which i actually missed when i watched it bc its such a brief glimpse)) but like. still. I actually have a little idea for another frusan drawing (frieda and susan talking on a roof grown-up edition) but I have to break up the dialogue into parts & think of more Susan Reactions so it's not just Frieda monologuing at her lol

#frieda is such a compelling character to me augh because seriously living on the islands sounds like. idk. scary in an existential way #like if I lived on that tiny(?) island always with the same people and didn't have hope that I would maybe someday get to explore someplace #new and meet new people. i would explode i think. #and frieda HAS hope & the drive to follow through with it #but then susan goes robo-mode and like surely any hope is just GONE after that #thats such a crazy interesting dynamic can't believe everyone else on earth isn't also insane about this #obviously it's not susan's fault that she went robo-mode but it's still recieved as a betrayal yk. so sad :( #and then susan went after finn & they probably all assumed she was dead #AHHH??? i can't even imagine how that would have felt for frieda?? like imagine you're trying to get off the islands and your favourite #person won't go with you but she helps you. but then she betrays you (not her fault but yk) and then (i'm assuming its not even that long #after) she's sent off the islands and she goes willingly #like wowww way to rub salt in the wound susan omg (i love susan this is not susan negativity) #my little angsty hc about that is like. frieda still holds a little bit of resentment towards her for what happened but she knows she #shouldn't because what if susan was right? what if she left the islands and it wasn't safe and she DIED? #but then also what if she isn't? what if she just left and it wasn't worth coming back? what if frieda wasn't worth coming back for? yanno #stuff like that. AGHHH hhh i love frieda #and then they go adventuring together and work it out and kiss on the mouth #uhhh i'll stop myself there before i write a whole essay in the tags (or maybe i already have ahahah...) but yeah. i love frusan :3

[umilily]

ngl i kinda wish i were the kind of person to fall in love easily

#lily talks #thinking the thoughts #I'm completely fine being single #It's just that sometimes I wonder if I'll just always stay that way simply because basically no one makes me feel anything #I could find a partner pretty easily probably #I can tell the interest's there when go out and make an effort to meet new people #but I don't get dating in the slightest and they all make me feel little more than :| #And by the time and on the once in a blue moon occasion that anyone does #There's at least 20 reasons why nothing ever comes of it #Regardless of how successful they are in the long run sometimes I can't help but envy my friend's a little #When they just meet people and actually care for them in that way #Just because it... feels nice? #It seems like a dumb reason but yeah :/

[doom-dreaming]

how do i tell my mother that coming into my room calling me "lazybones" if i'm still in bed at any time past 7 a.m. for YEARS has done near-irreparable damage to my self-esteem and created shame about being able to just fucking relax?

#but she can rot on the couch playing mahjong on her ipad all day it's fine #i don't feel at all angry when i come home dirty and tired from work #and she tells me i'm making dinner #while she sits curled up on the couch with a cup of tea and a book #sure mom. let me just take a shower and i'll get right on that #but please do let me know how hungry you are five times while i'm trying to scrape together some energy #i need to get out of this house #some small part of me kinda hopes she just doesn't come back from vacation #and. and . #as i'm giving her a VERY NICE vacation pedicure last night #she goes 'hey could i maybe use your hardcase on this trip? it'd just be easier in a customs search' #oh the brand new really nice hardcase suitcase that you got me for my birthday? that one? #not one of the four other suitcases you own? #sure. go ahead and take it #anythign else i can get you queen? #my belongings are not my own #my life is not my own #my time is not my own #yes i know i have control issues but i think i've earned them a little bit #i never learned to set boundaries and could never say no to my mom without being reprimanded #and i feel like a shell of a person because she's belittled my individuality if it doesn't conform to her worldview #and i feel like i'm dangling this husk in front of people and saying 'yep this is me. my whole essence' #all because i can't say no to her taking my fucking suitcase like it was never really mine to begin with #like she's just entitled to all my shit #i'm fine. i have a meeting with my therapist next week. i'm fine.

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it

#4 different people have left me on read today; 1 cancelled our plans 4 hours before we were due to meet #I've been sitting home alone for 2 days going insane. looking forward to One (1) coffee date & that fell through #idk why I'm taking it so hard this time I'm usually fine!! but I find myself wishing I didn't have the day off I wish I did have work :( #like it's tiring yeah but it beats sitting here not knowing what to do w myself #& I'm working all weekend & only leaving the house to see the doctor. oh joy #I've been productive ironing writing fixing the car. that's not the problem #I had 4 social plans this month. that's it #that's like seeing each friend once a month!! I can't keep this up!! #is this the norm for adulthood? :( #& on one level I don't want to bother people or be clingy #but on another level I'm baffled that they don't get lonely too #the news has not shut up abt the Loneliness Epidemic since 2021 #but if it's true why do so many people take so long to reply when I reach out? if they reply at all #I'm not going anywhere w this. idk #just one of those days #everything so fuck everybody suck :( #boomers got it right w the whole showing up unannounced at people's houses for a social call with a pound cake #now I have to go through 5 layers of bureaucratic bullshit to see a friend #assuming they don't cancel the day of ofc (((((: #I just wanna be like hello knock knock I am here. tell me abt yr life today & listen to mine & eat this cake #& the worst is when people are like 'I'm cancelling bc I'm tired xx' #OK A) u knew we had these plans for two weeks #but B) I'm tired too! I still love u ur still my friend! let us be tired together! #'I won't be social today I'm tired' my love we could watch movies in silence we could knit we could ball yr socks. idc #'I have to do the big shop today sorry' so do I!!! let us do the groceries together!!! #every time I've pushed someone to come out when they felt depressed or to let me accompany them when they were doing chores #they were like u know what I'm so glad u did this. thank u. this is way better than how I had planned this night to go #& I'm like any time!! I love u!! #& then it just happens all over again next time oh sorry I'm cancelling I'm busy I'm tired #like did u forget what a nice time we had last time? what changed? :(

[goldenkid]

also tinder sucks ass

#i wanna get involved in irl gay scene so bad bc i hateee texting i hate having to remember to open an app if i want to meet people #anyway. going gaytown properly for the first time ever (!) (i've been at this uni over 2 years!) in a few weeks yayy #i was like damn i want to get involved in the gay scene but i don't want to go by myself at least at first bc it's scaryy #and then i remembered i have free will and a friend who likes clubbing so i messaged her and now we're going out :) yippee #obvs not gonna be on the pull because i will not be ditching my friend but i just wanna observe. see the sights. go to the bars etc. #get a feel for it all #because next year when i graduate i'm gonna be in a new city doing this alone so i want to dip my toe in with a friend by my side <3 #also should probably look at other lgbt stuff. idk. daytime activities. but one thing at a time i'm v busy rn #it'll get done....so long as i keep taking steps forward...i'll get somewhere eventually and it'll take as long as it takes #natural progression...can't rush these things #<- applies to like 60% of my life right now #anyways. i love thinking things out in tumblr tags & then discovering my posts years later and remembering old trains of thought. #hi future me

[monster-noises]

#monster noises #getting emails telling me people have left a new intro for me on okc are so.. conflicting #and i should really stop checking them because i never know what to do with them #cause sometimes the person seems really cool and probably goodnto get to know and who knows maybe it would work out #but also the thinking about commiting to it makes my stomach start flip flopping for.... a few reasons #and then i feel bad for ghosting on someone #being that ass hole who doesn't reply #but also technically i'm not even On there right now anymore you just can't mute your account like you can on tinder n shit #so is it really ghosting??? #idk... #but regardless I Then start to think about what the fuck Else i'm gunna do to help me meet people #if i'm not going to be able to do this #cause the answer is 'make more friends and eventually someone will also want to date you that you will also like' #but that wait time and uncertainty and my complete lack of both knowing and being able to access spaces where i could meet #and make more friends that are like.. within the range of being Gay Men and Gay Men-Adjacent Folks #starts to make the yawning lonely void of the future look... a little crushing #just a little #and then i have to back out Real fast or shit starts to break down real bad #ack.. ack ack ack #i could go on about more stuff but i'm gunna run outta space so #idk... i just.. i'm tired and I wanna find a Buddy. y'know? same note on a different octave and all that.. #or a harmony. a harmony would be good also #i use to many metaphors... #anyway.. i gotta go #i start full time at work tomorrow so i gotta finish my tea and head to bed #i know it's past 9 so the thoughts don't count but they do still exsist

[bsaka7]

at what point did excitement for the holidays become apathy and the occasional wave of dread...

#Going to my bosses Thanksgiving with my coworkers and like. Maybe I should have begged off. #I had another offer which would have maybe been worse but like. #I can't handle meeting twenty new people and like. It takes me so long to warm up to people #And I've had a headache for two days straight :( #I mean I'll go and I'll fake it or whatever and hopefully play some cards #But it's just. I'm trying not to feel anything at all about it #Also dreading going home for the holidays except it's not even home it's just to my dad's fam and then my mom's fam. #Week between Christmas and new years #Sorry u guys r gonna hear a lot of this :( #But i'm hoping to get some fucked up i-feel-bad-in-an-airport fic out of at least. December. #Also my coworkers make fun of me all the time and it's mostly good natured #But we're not really friends so it frustrates me #Also they are way behind on the deadlines we set for ourselves #But that's just. Work. #And half day tomorrow at least!!!! #I miss the last year and a half of living with my friends so bad #It was really something. To look forward to coming home to them every single day. #Now I sit in my house. #It also takes me forever to make friends. Like. I didn't feel like i had good friends in college til. Literally my senior year. #A bit the second half of my junior year.

[tempobrucera]

Thomas's body hair part 2! But GIRL it was Tuesday

Maybe ... I've got barely time for anything let alone myself at the moment tho, so might take some time. I scheduled that post on Monday, guessing that this was about my tags?

#ask #anon #personal rant before i drop off again: #like i am getting a new job role i didn't ask for #in the process of applying for something else in the function #running after my landlord because he needs reminders every five minutes #co-ordinating the new person moving in bc that's my responsibility somehow #i literally have burn out. lol. #lol. but no joke. #my epilepsy medication not working. which is always fun. #more than busy at work #someone died. again. #someone broke up. again. #two hour dinner date where i actually can be myself. which was good but made me tired #tomorrow four hour long meeting. i prepped nothing. fun #asked for a cuddle date. good thing. #my still flatmate being a real bitch the last days. #and i can't fucking concentrate #other people: answer me in the span of a working day or better earlier otherwise i'll burn you on a stake #the adhd is acting up. but i can't have it win at the moment.

[moonybadger]

I’m not even that big a Karezi shipper, but I will never understand Homestuck’s decision to just erase their entire friendship in favor Vriska; and the way that it seemed to imply that Terezi thought her relationship with Karkat was... idk, unhealthy? And dropped it in favor of a relationship with VRISKA? Okay Jan

#to give it like a bread crumb of credit... #the story DID seem to be meandering in the direction that Terezi just fell back on the toxic relationship with Vriska mostly because of guil #*guilt #and that she tended to get in unhealthy relationships as a way to punish herself (like with gamzee) #but I don't think it ever really... came out and said that 100%? #like it can't decide if Terezi and Vriska's relationship is bad or not #like if (vriska) had been brought back that would be one thing #but we only really see new timeline Terezi's relationship with new timeline Vriska #which is you know. unhealthy and co-dependent from Terezi's side and kinda callus from Vriska's side #cause this is a vriska who never grew or learned anything #honestly the story's way of switching new versions of the protagonists in and out always kinda makes my head spin #cause I think the writing can't decide if Terezi meeting (Vriska) in the dreambubbles is like... an ending character arc for them? #and if the new timeline Terezi and Vriska SHOULD be considered just extensions of those previous characters who died #or just new ones entirely #THE POINT IS #I think Vriska and Terezi's relationship is FUCKED #and I hate that Terezi's relationship with Karkat is just whipped off the face of the earth and never brought up again ever #there's a couple reasons I don't care much for dave/kat but that's definitely a big one #like why did you have completely destroy their relationships with other characters to get them together romatnically #like all Terezi's relationships with other people are just fucking GONE besides Vriska and John #and Karkat and Dave just rotate around each other now besides being frustrated at Jade getting in the way #I need to record a podcast with someone about all the ways homestuck's writing drives me crazy I swear to god #I keep just posting essays in my tags every six months #bored badgering #anyway this is the same shit I always complain about

[falloutboy-on-boy]

Me: The only way I'm going to spread my wings and get myself out there in the world is if I meet new people and let myself be known

Also me when I have to talk to anyone who isn't my two friends or my family I talk to everyday:

#i've had too much trauma with friend groups completely fucking me over the thought of talking to new people sends me down a spiral #like why would i put myself out there if in the end i'm just going to get thrown out and discarded #people try and talk to me and i just ghost them it's so self sabotaging but i would rather burn someone else than be burned myself #it's just hard cause so much of being an adult especially in my field of work is networking but i just can't meet new people #i wish i could just zap my lore into people's brains so i wouldn't have to open up to them they'd just know #roma tomatoes

[stillfruit]

i need someone to punch me or run me over with a car or something i don’t care just anything i’m sick and tired

#i'm not functioning at all i hate this what am i even trying for #or i mean i'm functioning in the sense that my apartment is clean i get exercise i cook my own meals etc i can go through the motions blind #but the instance i have to Do Something uni related i just shut down nothings working and like in general as well i just don't care anymore #i have so many opportunities to meet my friends and ppl from uni but i just can't be bothered it's tiring and i don't care #yesterday i finished my meetings in the ed clinic and the doctor asked about the psychologist thing for other things #but i was like eh idk if it's gonna do anything and i know it's a dumb attitude to have but i can't help it i've lived like this for so long #like truly i just know there's something wrong with me and i'm a bad person but i also already know that i have to take initiative to fix it #but i'm just too tired and there's no point #like usually i'm fueled by spite or panic or something but i just don't feel things now #i have no braincells left anymore none #and now with my new gut issues which might stem from the ed or be genetic i'm just. even more tired than before with less time to use #because i spend hours in the bathroom #i should book an appointment for a doctor abt that but i'm just. very doubtful since it took my sister years to find out even a part of her #issues which might not be the same as mine but still #i'm too tired for social interactions and will never form meaningful connections with other people i will never get a job i will be in pain #and i don't have anything on a grand scale that i would want and all of that makes this seem so useless what am i being alive for #i'm being dramatic right now and i know things can get better and things change etc etc but also. i'm not having fun #i know i'm very privileged in many ways and incredibly thankless and insufferable and childish and so on but idc i'm tired #why the fuck did i have to burn out before i finished my bachelor's thesis and why the fuck did i choose my major when it's 10000 #times more demanding than the one my friends went to #in those courses i just throw shit together for easy 5s and in my major i'll get hanged if i don't include the doi part in citations #i mean i still have time so not all is lost but time just keeps happening and i'm not experiencing any of it #shit talking