#and i dont know. it just sucks to remember. it just sucks that's all there is to say. so much of my fandom experience in middle school was

[faetima]

THE AVEN + HANAHAKI THING YESSS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG BECAUSE LIKE. I know it's always super angsty when it's the reader that gets hanahaki but rine having it. imagine pushing your s/o away because you don't think you can do a relationship rn just to get hit by the stupid idiot in love disease. damn sucks to be you man

(tbh hanahaki as fun as the angst is I love aventurine so much and usually just alter hanahaki to be like less deadly because a) I DONT WANT TO BE SAD and b) the whole guilt of "I developed hanahaki because of you now love me or I WILL die" feels strange to me)(but also yum angst and the consequences of pushing someone away) ((sorry I talk a lot teehee okay bye))

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫. 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠. .

. . too bad he wasn't your darling anymore.

// tws ; slight cursing, blood ; gn reader ; modern au, hanahaki au 

a/n: finally wrote the aventurine exes hanahaki au lol ,, had no idea how to finish this but i might make a part 2 !! :3

ever since you had started dating aventurine, you felt like you were a burden to him in some way. but you were never sure if you were actually a burden to him, or if that was your mind playing tricks on you.

but last week had just solidified your beliefs.

you both had fought over something petty--you couldn't be bothered to remember what it was--and harsh words had been thrown around in the process.

words that cut deep into you, practically making you bleed out.

and after that?

aventurine had ignored you for the rest of the entire week. he hadn't even glanced in your direction. it was fine if he needed some space to think, but he didn't even tell you, he just started fucking ignoring you.

your efforts to talk to him had just been met by blank uninterested violet eyes.

everything that happened in the last week had all led up to yesterday.

you stood in front of his door, swallowing your nerves. why were you so nervous?

after everything that happened, everything you felt, everything he said, you didn't think you could handle a relationship at that point.

so, when aventurine answered the door, his blonde hair unruly and lavender eyes tired, you took a deep breath and finally said the words you had been so scared of saying.

"i want to break up."

--

now, you were rethinking your decision.

on one hand, it felt like a large weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

on the other hand, breaking up with him had left you in your current predicament: crouched on the cold tiled floor of your apartment, hurling up bright yellow marigolds. you coughed them up, unwillingly watching as they hit your newly polished floor. they hit the ground ungracefully, clumped together with a disgusting mixture of mucus and blood. you gagged on the flowers as the sickly sweet smell of the marigolds hit you, making you feel lightheaded and sick to your stomach.

you didn't think you would get the disease again after aventurine asked you out.

you had it once, albeit briefly. it was before you had even talked to aventurine, too scared to do so. maybe it had been your shyness, or maybe you were just scared of rejection. you weren't too sure which, but it had caused you to cough out a few lemon yellow petals.

but, as quickly as the disease had started, it had ended. aventurine talked to you and started getting close to you, and your hanahaki had eventually diminished into nothing. after that, you thought it would never start again.

but you guessed you were wrong, since the disease decided to plague you.

marigold petals--slick with mucus--fell out your mouth as you coughed your lungs out. they fell almost gracefully onto the small flower pile.

you took fast and shaky breaths, collapsing. you were too exhausted to move, the hanahaki sucking all the life out of you.

--

it had been a week now, and the disease had just gotten worse. at this rate, it would only take a month or two until you suffocated on the fucking marigolds.

you could talk to aventurine, but he would probably just ignore you again.

you could get the surgery, but you would rather die than forget aventurine. you still loved him.

at this point, you couldn't do anything but hope that the disease would just somehow go away.

--

aventurine was growing increasingly worried as the days passed.

he hadn't seen you at all after you had broken up. sure, that was normal, but his gut told him something was wrong.

horrible thoughts of what could've happened to you plagued his mind, and he couldn't take it anymore.

he grabbed his keys, his coat, and headed towards your apartment.

maybe it was an invasion of privacy, but even your friends felt as if something were terribly wrong. he'd just check on you once, and never speak to you again. you'd be okay with that, right?

--

aventurine had knocked about a dozen times by now, but had received no answer.

he swallowed. he still had a spare key to your apartment, but what if you didn't want him to come in? what if you were just busy? what if he was breaching your privacy?

he took a shaky inhale.

fuck it.

--

he stepped inside your apartment, and was hit by the extremely potent smell of marigolds.

he glanced around, and froze at what he saw.

#୨୧ -- aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine #hsr aventurine #hanahaki #hanahaki au #modern #modern au #angst #hanahaki disease #light angst #shy reader #how to angst #aventurine come home #pls #might make a part 2 #you can tell i've never been in a relationship before #anyways hopefully yhis was acceptable

[moonxytcn]

Hii could you write a gluff/comfort billie x fem reader who is from europe (non english speaking/ dutch speaking but idk if you know dutch so its not that important) and they speak english but have a very obvious accent and is insecure abt it and struggles with pronounciation and like finding the right words and it gets really frustrating for reader? I know this is a very long request and if you don't like write things like this then dont feel bad or anything also i love your writing so much! <3

having an accent sucks

Billie Eilish x fem!reader

Summary – reader is insecure about her accent when speaking English.

warnings – fluffy, more cute content.

word count – 851.

a/n – hello, I hope this is what you wanted when you requested it, thank you very much for that by the way. and this comment about my writing made my heart warm, thank you anon <3

English is not my first language so there may be some errors.

This gif isn't mine, I found it on Google

–––

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a soft golden glow over the room where you were getting ready with Billie, you felt your anxiety growing with each passing second. In a few minutes, you would be heading out to meet Billie's friends, and it would be the first time you'd meet them. You couldn't help but feel nervous. You and Billie had been together for 5 months, having met her parents in the first 3 months of the relationship.

The reason for your nervousness? Simple, you were Dutch, and despite being in the United States for a while, it seemed like your accent had decided to stick with you, and it was very evident when you spoke. This had become an insecurity of yours since with the added accent, you ended up having difficulties with English pronunciation, stumbling over words and always desperately searching for the right one.

Finishing fixing your hair, all your mind could think about was whether Billie's friends would understand you, and if you would embarrass yourself with your awkward pronunciation. There were so many 'what ifs' running through your mind that you had to stop for a moment and catch your breath. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you began to unconsciously murmur words in English to practice pronunciation and avoid embarrassment, trying to imagine how it would sound to someone who had heard English all their life, fearing the judgment that could come, whether verbal or not.

Billie paused for a moment upon hearing a murmur coming from her girl beside her, glancing briefly at her through the mirror and seeing what she already imagined was happening. She always knew that you struggled a bit more than others to learn and speak English. And although she knew you didn't like how you sounded when you spoke, she always found your escaping accent absolutely adorable. She remembers it was the first thing that caught her attention when she heard you ordering coffee in line, she knows very well that's when she fell in love with you, it might as well be love at first sight, if you believe in that.

"Babe." Billie called softly, wrapping her arms around you from behind, looking at you through the mirror.

"Yes?" You answered softly, knowing you were caught and already knowing she knows what you were doing.

"You know you don't need to worry, right? They're my friends, they would never make fun of you if they know what's best for them. And even if they did, I'd be by your side and protect you. Always." She says, looking into your eyes with those beautiful ocean blue eyes.

"I know, I just— you know how diff-diff neuken!" You speak, already getting frustrated because you can't pronounce it right again. (neuken - fuck)

"Difficult?" Billie says softly, leaving a light kiss on your neck, you just nod, playing with her fingers that are on your belly. "I know. Believe me. But all I see whenever I hear you speak is how perfect your voice is and your accent just makes you more unique. Love, your accent is the cutest thing ever, I'm serious. Okay?" She says.

You nod, letting a small smile escape. "I think I'm ready to go. Just, promise me you'll stay by my side, always."

"I promise, darling. Always. You don't even need to ask me that." She says turning you and giving you a chaste and soft kiss on your soft lips.

–––

Arriving at the restaurant where Billie arranged to meet her friends, she parks the car and turns to you in the seat and grabs your hand giving it a squeeze to let you know she's here. "Ready?" She asks. You nod and take a deep breath seeing her get out and come to your side to open the door for you. Getting out you go straight into her arms and give her a tight hug, she hugs you with equal force knowing you need it.

"It will be alright, love. I love you." Billie says breaking from the hug and looking into your eyes holding your face with a softness that only she has.

"I love you, so much." You say giving a peck on her lips.

Entering the restaurant you soon find the table where her friends are. Approaching they soon see you. "Hey guys, this is my girlfriend Y/n." She introduces you.

"Hey everyone." You say already noticing your accent is very visible.

–––

Opening the door to the house together with Billie you can't wipe off the huge smile that's plastered on your face. When the door closes you jump into her arms and shower Billie with kisses while the last one becomes a slow and full of love, happiness and affection.

"I'm so happy! I didn't mess up any words today, did you see?" You say excitedly to her. While she can only look at you with adoration in her eyes, mirroring your smile and watching you ramble on about how good the night was, how much you liked her friends, and how happy you were for not messing up anything today.

"I'm proud of you, love." She says softly to you. Stopping your rambling upon hearing this, you look at her for a moment feeling tears of happiness wanting to spill. Closing the distance between you, you hope she understands everything you want to say to her at this moment.

"I love you Billie. God I love you so much, you're an angel in my life." You say softly against her lips, not wanting to separate yet you just grab her like a koala. And she understanding, takes you to the bedroom where she lies on the bed and hugs you as tightly as she can, whispering praises in your ear and saying how proud she is, and happy for you.

#billie eilish #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish fic #billie eilish x you #billie eilish imagine #billie eilish fanfic #billie eilish x fem!reader #billie eilish x y/n #celebrity imagine #wlw #gxg

[opens-up-4-nobody]

God. The thing abt the uchiha is that. Yes. It was fucked up that no one trusted them and they got pushed further and further from the village center. However. They were also a clan of ninja cops with fucked up magical eyes that they supercharge by getting horrifically traumatized. So like. I also would not fucking trust them.

#like maybe its just that ive been too influenced my senju propaganda but i just think the uchiha as a clan kinda fucking suck #at least by the time we get to sasuke's dad leading things. they seemed fine when madara joined with the village #so its just that the resentment at feeling pushed out has risin by then. and maybe im not remembering things right but like Tobirama #made them the cops right? and they got pissed that they weren't given any political power but like u get so much fucking power as the polic #? and also it just seems like the worst fucking idea to put that all on one clan. like THE WORST job u could give to 1 clan of fucked up #eyeball freaks. and i can never tell if they r legitimately being prejudiced against but like they kida have good reason not to trust them #bc they were legit gonna overthrow the government. so like where did it start? i just kinda feel like they think theyre entitled to power #but r also intentionally standoffish to outsiders. but again maybe im just biased bc i dont like Sasukes dad and the nameless uchiha so muc #ugh. its too messy and its all built on the back of what may or may not have been a slight against them. and the rift just kept getting #wider. i mean knowing Tobirama it was probably a slight... but idk im not power hungry enough to understand y they got so mad abt it #konoha. the village in which everyone sucks and the children suffer. #naruto ramblings #naruto

[llitchilitchi]

I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off

#litchi.txt #there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad! #but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy #despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media #imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems #because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics #sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting #I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay #even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor #even if it means replacing one dictator with another #because its still a game #a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today #and they are important to talk about!! in real world!! #but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem. #idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games #are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.' #'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding' #like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly #and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS #it doesnt count??? I guess???

[samarecharm]

geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)

Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.

But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!

This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards

If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!

P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.

The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.

Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.

But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.

Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!

I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !

As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.

Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.

#chattin #answered #i have mentioned it before but i did NOT romance anyone #u know why? bc i literally didnt know it existed #i maxed out ann and the game was like ‘hey. this next decision is important’ #and i was like. huh. u know what. i have not looked up a guide until now. thats scary. i dont want to lose a confidant… #and learned that. #so uh. i really DID go through the game bot realizing i could date anyone. even the adults. #anyway. this was alot. and i tried to keep out alot of my other complaints #bc i have so many. but they are like. either nitpicky things or things that are issues in lots of games too #like the models suck in this game but i can look past that. graphics are always bottom on the list of complaints #and i do like the little animations!! i like akiras little tics #and i like seeing personas do their casting animations; shiki ouji and nekomata are my faves #i distinctly remember that being a thing i wished to see more of. #bc i liked thinking of what joker would look like fighting for Real #and then i remembered him being in smash so i was like COOL. ill look at those #and then i got STRIKERS and it was exactly what I wanted #i think #the game is like. #its bad. but in ways that i wouldnt call another game bad #like back 4 blood is BAD bad. its awful. the gameplay is bad. the story was shit. and the servers shut down within a year or two of launch #risk of rain 2 is bad in the way that it continuously obscures and withholds information to the player. its tedious and frustrating #but unlike b4b i LIKE ror2 and will continue to enjoy it. #bc the gameplay loop FEELS satisfying #and ultimately thats how i feel about p5 #for all of its faults; its fun. it has a gameplay loop that is consistent and fun when u get the hang of it #im playing on hard again since merciless is just me making the right instakill builds while i pick up my team over and over again #and theres still a challenge in having the endgame weapons and armor #its satisfying! and i think its satisfying bc I was given the luck of having this be my introduction into the series #maybe i would have a better opinion on the game if i came from p4. or maybe not! who knows !

[musubiki]

most recent story development in my brain: ive decided to actually seperate taffy and coco during the timeskip

initially i had it that taffy sticks with coco because he has nowhere to go and they eventually get together over the timeskip. the new version is that he runs away and disappears right before mochi leaves

in my head i see him as the type to run away after what mochi and coco do for him-- after coco put in so much effort and time advocating for him because she saw that there were traces of a good person under his antagonistic nature, and after mochi beat his ass for the final time and finally cleared his curse, he doesnt know what to do with himself.

the rest of the guild at that point (mochi included) has an attitude of "We know why you were the way you were. Now that there's no reason for you to hate us, you're free to go where you want. You can even stay with us." and this sentiment eats him alive. the guilt he feels is insane. the fact that he spent months (years?) trying to ruin mochi, brewing in bitterness and rage and all of a sudden all of that is gone and replaced with forgiveness and warmth is unbearable and he cant stand it, so he leaves.

this is all coupled with his feelings for coco and the attitude on his end of "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve her. All I can do is bring them down. All I can do is bring her down. I have no right to stay here. I have no right to want to stay here."

so theres a pivotal scene in my head where he has all these thoughts, standing right outside the side door to mochis house hearing them all chattering inside, and has a long moment of hesitation before going inside. in the OLD version coco opens the door before he can make up his mind and forces him inside with the rest of them, but in the NEW version i think its much more taffy-like if hes gone by the time she notices and gets to the door

(tldr timeline: mochi removes his curse -> he disappears -> he only appears for the last amanita fight because really thats HIS fight as much as it is mochis -> he leaves again RIGHT after. i imagine coco tried to stop him or say goodbye but this man is notoriously good at escaping quickly)

and so timeskip-wise coco attends university on her own. she keeps in touch with oscar and lime (more oscar than lime) and while she never directly set out to look for taffy, there was always that desire to look for him in a crowd or something, maybe hoping to run into him at random or that he would show up out of nowhere like he did the first time.

I'm not totally sure what he does during the timeskip then. something far away from coco and the guild, but somewhere close to the ocean because he could never find it in him to stray too far from it for too long. maybe lost his touch with water magic a bit because he was too afraid and guilt-ridden to use it. never really stopped thinking about coco but couldnt muster up the courage to go find her again. for YEARS hes convinced that she doesnt want to see him and he wouldnt do anything to make her life better. hes done too much to all of them for them to ever accept him, he thinks.

until one day coco just. shows up. after tracking him down (with mochi and sulluvans help). sitting on a barrel at the docks he works at in some city somewhere, eating some cotton candy she bought at the docks like "Heyo! Mochi needs another guild member, and you kinda owe us one, soooo..."

#lore #bpp #text #and then while hes too busy processing one of his shipmates throws down some supplies and it clobbers him #falls right into the water #coco: gee youre a lot more of a clutz than i remember #or she BUSTS out hysterical mocking laughing #coco move #can you imagine the kind of feelings his heart went through in the span of 2 seconds #its like all the negative emotions were just washed away (haha get it) for a brief second #i think they return when he sees mochi though #i also like the idea of post-timeskip the running theme of (yeah im dating this guy from class now--) #and then you hear taffy shatter the glass he was hand-washing #i dont know what he does post-timeskip yet #maybe he'll be one of those guys who go out to rough ocean and fish crabs #taffy running away feels right #even though it sucks for both of them

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts) #that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?' #its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

[grey-has-rusted]

what they don't tell you about life is that it's hard. woe is me

#ramblings #yes. i logged onto tumblr just to complain. #i have not been having a good time irl </3 #guys am i cooked? i wake up everyday with a heavy sorrow in my heart. #i am sad all the time even though i enjoy the wonders of life. #i laugh and smile and talk and learn. but im still sad. #it also doesn't help that i have psychotic tendencies and episodes #'go for a walk. that's a healthy coping mechanism' bro i can't even go outside bc i will get lost and walk for hours and almost- #unintentionally kill myself #it sucks. it all sucks and i say things that don't make sense either. apparently. allegedly. #i just want a functional brain. i would be so unstoppable if it weren't from my brain maybe i could actually function like a normal person #and hold down a job and be consistent with my hobbies and passions and actually maintain friendships #ong ive been so lonely too #i haven't bothered making friends anymore bc i know i won't be consistent and i dont wanna waste anyone's time #that's just really unfair #and i rely so heavily on videogames and fiction to get me through the day #bc it makes me feel less lonely. yeah i know i sound lame 💀 #anyways- see y'all in another year when i remember tumblr exists

[skeletalheartattack]

re: your recent tags about the gameboy sp! that boy's got headphone adapters i POMISE!!!

the magic of modern science. wow...

#ask #sapphicdroid #i did look it up to fact check myself after i reblogged the post and saw the adapters #honestly when i was younger i never knew it didnt have a headphone jack #granted the only time i ever saw one in person was on the school bus with a friend #he played pokemon blue on it and i dont remember the details of all that went on during #i mightve also seen another kid on the bus play pokemon emerald. i dont remember. #however that was my first exposure to gen 3 pokemon. as a kid i only knew about Red Blue Yellow and Crystal #my brothers had Red and Blue. and so thusly i have both games now. i... dont know where my copy of Red is though. #i have a copy of Yellow from Ebay but it loses its memory sometimes. which i think is why it was put on Ebay in the first place #Crystal however? well first i knew of gen 2 through pokemon stadium 2 #we had both pokemon stadiums for the n64. or. well. still do have them. #speaking of. sure does suck to go through the gym leaders and elite 4 in those games. mostly due to how long rounds are. #emulated it a while back and i had to use the fast forward feature a lot #anyway. Crystal. somehow i got my copy from a random coat in a clothing store. just. in the pocket. #i dont know how i managed to find it. it was either in a coat my mom was looking at or i was looking through pockets... probably the former #anyway within like a week. a kid in 3rd grade stole it from me #i... think i got to the elite 4? i remember getting to the last dude with the charizard. forgive me for forgetting his name. #but like right after i had it stolen. i got on the bus and vented to my friend and he was like ''oh i have two copies of crystal'' #and then gave his second copy to me. i forget if it was on the day of or if it was the next day. #anyway that same day it got stolen again. by the same kid. that kid stole so much shit from me #he switched schools the next year so i couldnt do anything about it #i have uhhh... soul silver now. so its not that big of a deal these days #anyway thank you for the ask :) i appreciate you telling me anyway

[commander-gloryforge]

.

#damn . if i like. ever did something wrong i wonder why they dont just talk to me about it #like idk i thought when they like. vagued about *someone* i had to convince myself that it wasnt me #like i literally went through our messages to make sure i didnt say anything wrong #but apparently it was me after all? i just wish they wouldve. idk. talked to me about it #it feels so hypocritical? why are you allowed to say what you think and im not #unless i actually did what you claimed but i cant remember this happening nor can i find messages where it happens #and even then instead of vaguing about me when you know im not doing well you can just approach me #or is there a whole different reason? do you avoid me because of something else? am i just not on your level after all? #if it was any other person i wouldnt have cared so much but they were one of the first friends i made there #we worked out so well in the beginning and now you realised im not who you thought i was and instantly replaced me #why does this shit ALWAYS happen to me? is there something wrong with me or is it everyone around me? #this is why i dont approach people. this is why im so intimidated by others. it doesnt work. ill always end up being less. #everyone always ends up being better and more and i am the replacable one. idk. just sucks

[arowrath]

i love psychology classes i love this shit. because i know like everyything but i get to share my opinions on the reading and i LOVE having opinions

#text #i definitely have a bone to pick with a lot of the field of psychology/psychopathology/etc & how it can be stigmatizing & traumatizing etc #for people who are already struggling with complicated and often disabling conditions and circumstances. and brother i'm picking it. #one thing i do hate about where i am like academically is that i know SO MUCH abt these topics but since all my informaiton has been from #therapy or from my own research i AM missing like. key points that i dont really know about. & thge stuff i know is definitely biased #towards things i'm more interested in or things i've researched for myself. but that means i spend like 14 weeks of class alreadty knowing #everytrhing and 2 just fucking speedrunning some section of psychology i knoww nothing about. like neurowhatever stuff i dont #get much at all like the physical brain/biology stuff. i vaguely know what a neurotransmitter is and the frontal lobe is the thing that doe #doesnt stop developing at 25 but everyone thinks it does. and thats all ive really got #like i do definitely need portions of these entry level classes but also ughhhhh. i know what anxiety is sherrie #Also i dont plan on pursuing psychology for like a career atm i just do not think i could handle a lot of jobs int he field and again i #am fairly critical of the field . i don't know enough about like antipsych stuff to have an opinion on that but i know that psychiatrists #often suck ass! and it's great when they dont but they often do. i don't remember what i was saying here

[13eyond13]

I feel like there's sort of a difference between being a villain and being an antagonist, right? Like most villains are antagonists, but not all antagonists are villains

#like sometimes theyre just there to oppose the protagonist #make things difficult or reflect or contrasts etc #that doesnt make them automatically a 'bad guy' #L is the antagonist in DN for example but he's not a clear villain (nor hero imo) #i would say heathcliffe is the main antagonist in wuthering heights probably from what i remember but #he wasn't like the most morally incorrect of them all or something #most of them kinda sucked bc it just sucked to live there basically #but he was the one mostly pulling all the strings #but i also dont know who I'd even say was the protagonist in WH like was it the narrator? #who mostly just listened to the story second hand #hmhmhm idkidk #p

[poorwillednightjar]

hating twitter yet again… 🙁

#sucks when a rlly good artist loves retweeting and retweeting shit #like im here for ur art not for the umpteenth unfunny meme u eepost #blah blahi know #the whole thing with ‘oh still remember that an artist isnt jjst an art machine but also a person’ #i get that completely i kniw that theyre a person #i just dont like following their social media and seeing all if their unfunny retweets clog up my timeline #i would prefer quality art #where i can genuinely connect with them #over ‘ahaha isnt it so relatable? when u guys have to BREATHE? XD’

[skitskatdacat63]

I forget how comfortable my life is living w just my parents, in terms of being comfortably out, then have to listen to my brother go on a homophobic rant, that I can't tell if its a joke or not, but was really hurtful :)

#twas very uncomfortable to sit thru #the words 'what if i told you i was gay' on my tongue 'am i disgusting?' #i dont understand straight white boys #you do all this gay chicken w your friends. say all this weird stuff that makes me 🤨 #(<- ex. joking abt sucking dick bcs theyre eating a 12 inch hot dog. circa cota gp lol) #but then say these horribly homophobic things #i dont understand men #i can never tell if hes joking when he says things like this #bcs he likes to be argumentative and inflammatory. and knows we'll get pissed at him for this #so its like. are you saying this bcs you truly believe it or are you just being irritating. or both #he randomly said smth abt how the romans and greeks did gross gay things #and im like. should this not make you think 'wow homosexuality has existed for centuries. ig its pretty natural!!' #<- thats always my takeaway. theres been records of it since basically the beginning of recorded history #and i look at it and feel comforted :] this has always been a thing and always will be thing #and then people like him basterdize it completely misinterpret it ;;;; #i like him but when hes back living w us I remember how horrible his views and opinions are #ugh i live w my parents and theyre so accepting abt it and willing to learn more and change #and then i remember how fucking shit the rest of my family is #well ah dw i got back at him by calling him gay sjkfkglg #catie.rambling.txt

[classicjdiesandgoestohell]

its interesting when ppl start discussing the experience u have had your entire life and calling it transphobic and stuff 👆 like damn ive been telling people this for years and now im rethinking everything

#the thing in question is saying you like everyone but cis men #ive been sayin this for many years. i just dont. or maybe i do but its such an intangible thing id never date one idk #but i saw someone discussing how excluding cis men others trans women (dont remember exact) phrasing and idk #i kinda saw their point #i still feel like i like everyone but cis men tho #i have had crushes on n dated cis girls transmascs n transfems #i dated a cis guy once but it was very.. if u know me u know i have obsessions with people and those can happen regardless of gender #it seemed to be one of those #before and after that cis men haven't even been in the question of attraction #maybe the fact i have one exception proves i actually do like them or something i dunno #ive also had the dilemma plenty where i want to just call myself lesbian but that sucks 2 any trans men i like so. i go back n forth on that #but i like to have some sort of warning sign on me that says If You Are A Cis Man Do Not Even Try To Date Me #bc cis men liking me irl makes me GAG dude i fucking cant handle it at all #the cis guy i dated was online so like. i could avoid the gag factor i think #but idk #that experience made me realize i could never ever date a cis man again which is classic lesbian expetience 77292929 #it is not for me! #lucky strike

[themyscirah]

diana and cheetah for the ship ask game?

Maybe someday I will end up joining the wondercheetah fans but as it stands every cheetah appearance I've read she has just been like The Worst. And not even a fun worst like I hate her guts SO much. To break it down

Pérez Cheetah:

Rich British lady who made her fortune stealing artifacts from other (often indigenous) cultures

Tries to trick Diana by lying that she found an important lost Themysciran artifact (mean)

Didn't say it explicitly outright but I just KNOW she was a huge fan of British colonialism this is undeniable to me

Conclusion: Cheetah is awful and quite literally only alive bc Diana is a good enough person to save her from execution

Rucka Cheetah (original flavor, c. 2005ish)

This bitch is fucking crazy

Sleeping with Professor Zoom

Has superspeed now????

Is trying to flirt with and assault Wally West (Flash crossover)

Conclusion: Barbara id say get help but honestly idt any therapist out there could handle you

So like wondercheetah shippers I see you and I feel you and I think it's v possible we'll vibe when I get to like Rebirth WW and the new version of Cheetah but I'm going through preboot comics right now and she just sucks so bad for me. Could never even entertain the thought of them even liking the other as a human for an instant in a world with the original (Barbara Minerva vers) Cheetah and their history--which is where my mind is at right now in terms of WW comics.

Not saying wondercheetah shippers aren't right though like they literally are. Diana and New Cheetah 100% have some kind of thing this is undeniable. I just haven't read it yet and so I think of Old Cheetah first and shes awful.

#thanks for the ask! #new cheetah and old cheetah are very different women esp in terms of their relationship with diana so thats really where this lands for me #like ive seen panels and art of diana and new cheetah and i v much understand where it comes from and why ppl like it #its just personally w my comic knowledge i dont know the new one like at all and always think of the old on and she just sucks. so bad. #anyways thank you so much for the ask again! #also and this goes for every single person who follows me or interacts w me ever on here: if i explain to you smth you already know or a #comic youve already read im sorry. i just love explaining things and i can never remember what is common knowledge or what ppl know #this isnt even explicitly abt this post its just a blanket statement so yeah #answered