#and i still hit every note

[revelisms]

Lil' comic of a scene from a fic I haven't gotten around to writing.

(basically Vi and Jinx have reconciled, Silco is alive, and Vi is begrudingly finding herself beginning to look up Silco as a mentor/father figure. She accompanies him on an errand run, one of which winds them up at the old cannery, and emotions bubble up biiig time 🥲)

#y'know the 'makings of greatness' treasure planet scene? #yeah #arcane #arcane fanart #silco #vi #drawing #this is so messy lkg #just going to call these my post-it note doodles #vi with parentification issues resenting that she wasn't the soft image of their mother that powder likely needed #and still not knowing how to work through that - especially since she feels like jinx no longer *needs* her (even though she does) #and dad silco daughter vi just #hits something man #because they *hate* each other and they have every reason to #but there's just #aughghg #so much potential for character development with them #silco and jinx is codependent central and we love it but silco and vi is the hard hitting boundary setting raging arguments and i eat it up #very much hcing that silco sees his inner child in jinx vs. his angry young adult self in vi #and both of those effect his (somewhat disastrous / sometimes okay) parenting #it's a sliding scale

[miodiodavinci]

(crawls feebly into frame) i wasn't able to make a mini cover today like i wanted because UTAU-synth hates me but at the very least i have some barely touched renders to commemorate the occasion (hell beast release day)

UST file by UtauRezio

#just vocasynth things #happy 12th and simultaneously also 4th birthday crevan i got you none accent with left voicebank w #this vb was. uh. supposed to release today but #as of june last year i was still only about #(checks notes) about 53% complete with the oto #and would only be Fully complete with the oto if i fully oto'd at least 6 samples every day until #(checks notes again) this last december #long story short i would have died had i not tabled the project sdkfjhgldjf #one day i'll get things out there ! ! ! ! #for now though future me is screaming and biting and killing me with hammers #the things i do to myself <33333 #EDIT: (hits play and is immediately hit by the fact that i mixed this with my bad earbuds) oh my

[tricksterlatte]

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind #fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once #god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit #oughhhhh #even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio #which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed #now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable #and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame #features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral #and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP #even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh #not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk #if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me #and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired #unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more #why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers #there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place #and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things. #maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either #I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time #but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy #it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care. #I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife

[yaoianime]

Soon im rly gonna do it

#🕸️ #sui mention #< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are #like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however #every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day #it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a #wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach #into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i #cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening #almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not #only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is #to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being #or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in #coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe #its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont #hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am #im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf #its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will #i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to #do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks #thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me

[homophobicwarios]

Love posting my Spotify receipts for the month bc you can always tell when I’ve had smth big to write for one of my classes bc the one Jash song (Dream (Outro from Calamity)) will make the receipt. I did not end up a Jashinator but I do like having a song I can rely on to make me write things.

#rian’s slay compilation #the first time I heard the song I was in a mood all da time so I really identified it w what splitting felt like #idk it doesn’t hit as much now bc I’ve undergone a different sort of mental illness lately (more tired than actively harmful to myself) #^it’s the way it picks up in intensity. that’s what it feels like when you try to communicate how smth feels but they don’t listen and then #go have fun at a concert and you feel so nauseous that you have to leave a shared group chat while you sob your eyes out for several hours. #y’know? anyway June/July was fun. I need four hours of build daily to keep me occupied (tired). it does actually do me wonders. #I’m so big and strong now. idk how big you are my lovely mutuals but I could lift the smaller ones I reckon. #right now I could pick up (not for long) anyone around or under 150 pounds. also preferably not super taller than me but I think it’d work. #it’s a start! I should start lifting. makes me feel big and strong. I wanna pick my friends up. #^sorry to derail this in the tags but I typed that up and was like ‘that’s such a King statement’. it’s bc someone liked a post where I #talked about feeling all overgrown and how King being half a foot shorter than me but still picking me up like a brides made me feel Not #Overgrown #I don’t worry about feeling overgrown so much anymore but I do kinda miss the bride lifting. it was nice every once in a while #it’s small things like that. #side note I think I could pick King up now bc they’re roughly my weight and as we established I can lift ppl about my weight very briefly #it’s the build. it makes me big and strong. it’s all the wood holding and platform throwing

[hrina]

the chokehold that bride by ali hazelwood has on me.............

#i need to be studied in a lab fr #the funniest part is i did NOT think it would be my cup of tea #but she didn't lean TOO hard into the omegaverse so i actually ended up enjoying it a lot! #i just cant get over how damn romantic it was. like she included all these little details that had me squealing and kicking my feet and suc #*such #i've gone back a few times to re-read my kindle notes/highlights AND IT STILL HITS EVERY SINGLE TIME #she really hit her stride with this one i fear

[kodzue-ken]

Playing tears of the kingdom is just remembering how good you were at botw and assuming you’ll be able to do this game easily enough.

And then getting one-shot by literally everything, they took guardians away but added something(s) much worse, the trees are out to get you, safe places in botw are no longer safe places, ur expected to jump into wells like oot never happened, and the depths.

But hey! Thanks for letting me keep my horses, Nintendo, that might’ve been my breaking point.

#I was asking my friend if she’d run into a gleeok yet and mistyped it as glock #‘hey bestie have u run into the glock in totk?’ #the first time I saw gloom hands I screamed #I still scream when I see them #I also forgot constantly that I didn’t have a paraglided in the first tutorial so I died many many times throwing myself off of high places #every time I have to go into a well I jump into it expecting to die before I hit the ground #on that note #if I see a dead hand or anything similar it’s over #totk #botw #legend of Zelda totk #legend of Zelda botw #totk spoilers #legend of Zelda #tears of the kingdom #breath of the wild #link #oot #ocarina of time #game. totk #kodzue rambles

[usareiis]

#seriously seriously one of the most beautiful pieces of music i have ever heard #i feel so conflicted thinking about this but i was always afraid to get more into shinee because of jonghyun #i remember the exact day he died when i was in high school and i remember feeling slammed with the news even though he was just guy from... #...clue + note to me and as i have gotten more into kpop in the past few years i have been there for all of shinee's comebacks from don't... #...call me on and i always kept them at a distance bc even though i thought they seemed so cool i was worried to get into them and always... #...feel like someone was missing. and now that my little sister has gotten so into them i have too #and it does feel like someone is missing all of the time and we watch so much content of jonghyun together that sometimes it hits me all... #...over again how unreal and bad it is that he isn't in the world with us anymore #i am so sad too thinking about how i almost didn't hear some of the most beautiful music out of the fear of grieving him #one of the most beautiful voices and i click with his words so so much #like he's my friend and i almost never got to know him :( and that thought it so much worse than the worry of having to miss him :( #it also makes me sick bc if it would have changed anything for him at all. he's still making so many people happy. he's still there for me. #i don't get this emotional every time i listen to him but sometimes it all hits me #music #Spotify

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: January 11

"It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" by Billy Joel

#song of the day #so late today. the sun'll be up pretty soon #I was very busy watching Duncan play Spyro and letting my brain thump around on spin cycle #I haven't written anything worth looking twice at since i was so sick in December and it's been worrying me a bit #but if my full day's preoccupation is anything to judge by I will be writing again quite soon #just in time too I did see Del tagged me in a WIP Wednesday. maybe by next Wednesday I will have progressed a work to share #anyway this is today's song because I'm trying to make sure I remember to get a copy of it #it played on the radio and Duncan and Lily and I all got to sing along (always so good to sing with my siblings) #and there were plenty of songs we sang all together (lots of Adele. good shit) but this one I don't have and I really enjoy singing #and every now and then (especially around the family) it plays and I think 'oh shit! I still need to get a copy of that onto my computer!' #and so far I've forgotten every time #but this time I'm making a particular note! I will remember it! if not this weekend then at the very very latest at the end of this year #when I make a big playlist of all the Songs of the Day and I hit Jan 11th and my search pulls up empty and I curse myself for a fool again #dear future-Alexis: you are welcome for the reminder!

[thetimelordbatgirl]

I fucking love how I can do anything my mom asks, but as soon as I say no to one thing, all the shit I've already done disappears because she acts like I'm lazy and don't do anything to help her...all because I said no to one thing.

#just i've been doing shit for her so far #and shes been leaving me alone to do my fic notes #but as soon as i dont wanna go to town with her #suddenly all the shit i've done disappeared #like she knows dad is fine with going to town still with her when he gets back from work #but she tries to guilt me anyway with helping her due to her knee and helping out my dad so he doesnt have to go town #and even says if your nan knew and just #yeah??? let her hit the fucking roof then #i dont fucking care anymore #my mental health is drained when it comes to dealing with my nan alone #and i can easily just avoid seeing her #also fucking funny to blame dad for snitching on me to nan when every time i've seen it happen it was my mom who snitched not him

[emeritusterzo]

I miss so much being excited over live wrestling honestly

#if he was still here by now I’d be shaping my whole day around being able to skip sleeping to watch the ppv #miss the feeling of pure joy when I heard the static and the first note for cult of personality hit #miss his promos in the beginning of the show #miss being insane over every gear choice and searching for the post show speeches #sigh

[rawliverandgoronspice]

I'm thinking of fully releasing what's left of Descant today.......

#thoughts #my writing #ganondorf #descant of greatness #unhallowed vespers #I think I will #and then there's only Antiphon left!!! #it's almost doneee #I'm just full of work and very perplexed about zelda/sheik #the emotional note is so hard to hit #anyways congrats me for writing a reasonably-sized fic for once #that did not take me almost a decade to complete #I regret to inform everybody I am not getting cured of my urge to work on a child timeline alternative :((((( #in fact I get better and better ideas for it every day....... #I'm afraid to name it because then it becomes concrete #and I still don't know.... how to make it #in a way where the mood and emotions aren't betrayed #I really don't know if writing is the best way to convey this story but anything else would be deranged so ????? #:(

[razzle-zazzle]

*looks at your tags* nice, nice—

PROSTETIC HEART?????

Sometimes you have an idea so so wild but with so much interesting thematic potential that you then have no choice but to try and figure out how to make it work 🤷‍♀️

Anyway 💅 still working on the how but basically the AU is as described: Branch's fleshy magic Troll heart is gone and in its place is a prosthetic one he made himself. Smth smth a Troll's music is their magic and their magic is their music and smth smth you can remove a Troll's magic by removing their heart (assuming they survive, which they normally wouldn't, but Branch is nice and insane and good at clinging onto life like that). So the AU focuses on the issues that arise from having a heart cobbled together from the materials he could find and the sort of disconnect from the world around him due to the loss of the heart he was born with. Again it doesn't make much sense but it's fun to think about so 🤷‍♀️

#ask zaz #beating heart au #??? maybe???? #anyway. still working out details but branch having to put extra effort into learning notes and dance choreo compared to other trolls #bc that stuff no longer comes naturally to him #and smth smth his singing sounding ''empty'' even when he hits every note perfectly bc. well. his body can't produce its own magic #his music doesn't affect the world around him the way other trolls' music does. he can't summon backing tracks and backup singers #from the flora and fauna #does poppy care? no that's her boyfie #also smth smth emotional regulation and how having a prosthetic heart would affect branch in that regard #yes i know the heart doesn't do that kinda thing irl but like. these are trolls i can get funky with their biology if i wanna #current idea for how branch loses his heart does involve a degree of self harm tho :[[[ i still need to refine it tho so who knows #but also. the thematic potential of branch cutting out his own heart‚ regardless of the reason‚‚‚ oughhhhhhh #idk if this au is all that interesting to anyone but me but idk i think it could be neat

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Even though I don't post on FFN anymore, I sometimes still get on to look at my stats because its always interesting to me to see which fics are somehow still being found and read

But stats have been down since the middle of September.

(Somehow I don't think they're in any rush to fix that....)

#if anyone is still trying to argue that ffn isn't slowly going under... i beg to differ #when i was actually actively using the site stats never went down for more than a week #as a side note ao3 is superior in every way but two: #1. stat breakdown by unique visitors and total hits as opposed to one lump sum of hits #and 2. automatically filtering m-rated content #what i wouldn't give to be able to do that on ao3 instead of having to manually filter every time #anyway #random ramblings #don't mind me #fanfiction.net

[smashwolfen]

Who are you and why are you all here?! XD

#noticed it the other day and I still can't believe how many folks follow me! #dunno exactly what I've done besides legends arcues stuff and the odd time i post my sketches and art that draws folks in but hey! #as long as you guys like it lets gooooooo #thank y'all who stick around for whatever i post and the reblogs i yeet at ya! XD #next milestone is whenever my pokedex post hits 10k notes #i actually have to do something for that i should get on that drawing tho soon #if i stop getting into a motor vechile accident every month this year i'd be doing more BUT SOMETHING COSMIC HAS IT OUT FOR ME!!!

[obeymeow]

being neurodivergent is all fun and games until you remember those hourly quote bots on twitter and think well maybe I can't make a bot anymore but I could schedule a few quotes a day, that shouldn't be hard. it sounds fun to have a bunch of quotes of my favorite character Thirteen from hit mobile game Obey Me! and its sequel Obey Me! Nightbringer. and then you think about how arduous collecting the quotes is going to be but she's only been in the games for maybe a year and a half with little screentime and you love collecting things so you start but then you remember that you love collecting things so naturally you have ALL of her screentime in the game and suddenly you have 45k characters of quotes and are several lessons into season 4 (which is truly a trial in and of itself) but not nearly close enough to the end but you refuse to just stop collecting the quotes and make the account with the EXCESS of what you have already because you literally only have season 4 to get through and if you don't do it just seeing the bot (because now you've been informed you can make tumblr bots instead) will haunt you with that knowledge even if nobody else would ever know. this is a general anecdote of a situation that could easily happen to anyone though and not in any way related to my life

#obey me on side #ummm i don't have a personal tag yet because i hated looking at this blog before the revamp so i'll do that later #with the carrd. usually when i say i'll do something later it means sometime in the next 3 years but i actually mean this one #but rn there's no way to tell i'm a lesbian (except for the thirteen icon. + probably also the ruri-chan banner she's lesbian colors) #okay maybe you can tell but I want to be CLEAR #anyway i would also like to note that immediately before starting this project i spent a full week lamenting my lack of free time #because I wanted to write some fics. and then literally as soon as i got free time I went um. no. quote doc instead I think #????? girl why did you do that to yourself #fortunately i'm now bored of reading s4 so i can go back to writing #unrelated but all of these fics contain a significant amount of solomon and i like him that's not surprising but it was unintentional #which IS surprising. like okay one of them is about solodeus (specifically mc playing matchmaker so i don't clickbait) so that's obligatory #and another is based off of the new solomon card (IT'S CUTE) so that's also kind of obligatory #(the third one is based off of luke's card from the dnd nightmare a while back because i was entranced by its strange unbalanced party) #but usually i try to switch up the characters i write about to get comfy with all of them and not just the ones that make sense to me #that's not entirely accurate it's my one braincell bouncing around like a windows screensaver picking a new fave every time it hits a side #but also to get used to writing them all. anyway #i'll just write about satan to balance it he's always been a fav but i am obsessed with him in nightbringer he is so offputting and tragic #if you're still reading these tags please see above on th 'later is up to three years' in regards to the fics still haven't posted anything #hoping to change that soon though I WILL eventually.