#and i stopped having to do that

[dredshirtroberts]

hey. hey universe. hey fucker universe.

no one said you could bring back the Wednesday Curse, bitch. fuck off with this shit i didn't need any of this first thing today.

#the Wednesday Curse is related to a span of about... almost 10 years of every single wednesday having something major go wrong #''major'' is a strong word but it would always feel big and afterwards would be when i would notice it was wednesday #it was a lot and i got very tired of it very quickly but it eventually stopped and i stopped noticing wednesdays #because they stopped being bad every single week #i would wake up on a wednesday bracing for whatever terrible news i would learn or whatever horrible thing would happen inevitably #and i stopped having to do that #my dreams lately have been absolutely horrific and last nights/this mornings was.... worse than usual in a way i wasn't anticipating that's #made me very very worried about a dear friend i can't easily reach out to and i'm doing my best at waiting patiently for a response #but it's hard and then the tire on the car exploded *again* so we're scrambling to figure out how to fix that and we've got a plan #and at least 3 butches on the job and it's going to be okay in the end but i have extreme car anxiety and tires going out is one of the mai #triggers for that and i'm just #i'm also still dealing with the tail end (hopefully) of an upper respiratory infection which makes all the crying i keep doing difficult #because i keep needing to hack my lungs out because breathing sucks rn even though i've had all my meds for it #and i'm just... it's just... anyway #i'm having a rough morning #but i am surrounded by people who are very lovely and care a lot and are willing and able to help with whatever they can #and that's helped a lot and it's just... i know i gotta wait patiently for resolution on things and i'm gonna do my best #to calm myself down and try to be less anxious but i'm only able to do that because of the love that surrounds me and it's a lot #it's all a lot and idk man #the spectre of my dad is doing his best to ruin it but he doesn't exist here in this space it's just a bad memory and no one is at fault

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[sanguinarysanguinity]

Expanding a thought from a conversation this morning:

In general, I think "Is X out-of-character?" is not a terribly useful question for a writer. It shuts down possibility, and interesting directions you could take a character.

A better question, I believe, is "What would it take for Character to do X?" What extremity would she find herself in, where X starts to look like a good idea? What loyalties or fears leave him with X as his only option? THAT'S where a potentially interesting story lies.

In practice, I find that you can often justify much more from a character than you initially dreamed you could: some of my best stories come from "What might drive Character to do [thing he would never do]?" As long as you make it clear to the reader what the hell pushed your character to this point, you've got the seed of a compelling story on your hands.

#writing #writing advice #my writing #I think 'ooc' is a bogeyman that casts too big a shadow for fanfic writers #stop thinking 'is this ooc?' #and start thinking 'have I given this character a good enough reason to do the thing?'

[badolmen]

WARNING 18+

19

#ra speaks #it’s a silly joke/pun dw #we stay silly :3 #edit: #woahg. that’s a lot of notes. hi everybody o/ #10k. stop clenching your jaw and drink some water. #15k. eat some fresh fruit this week! I’m having kiwis tonight :] #20k. quit sitting like a shrimp it’s bad for your neck! sit up straight and do a little stretch every now and then #25k. I’m up at 2 AM but I’ll get to see the sunrise today :] if you can’t see that I hope you admire the sunset later today #30k. do something fun you haven’t done in a while. I haven’t drawn in months - I think I’ll paint a cat tomorrow :3

[indigo6f00ff]

need to share an experience i had 30 minutes ago

(edit: thanks to @walks-the-ages for providing and reminding me to put alt text, sorry it slips my mind alot lol)

#my hands are still shaking to be quite honest i could not put a lot of effort into this. #but like. brain. why did you do that #literally i have been like hopelessly obsessed with de nonstop thinking abt it for the past couple of days it is Scaring me #it is terminal its soooo fucking chronic #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #for anyone who wants to know i bumped into some guys car that was stopped for a school bus. i think my brain errored and thought #my foot was fully pressing down on the brake pedal but it wasnt. #i am like 99.99 percent sure neither of us had any major damage to our cars but we still filed a police report just in case #because insurance do be a bitch. dudes back bumper was scratched lightly and my front license plate has a dent now #also literally my first ever car accident that ive had ever yippee yay

[astraystayyh]

They have since left four premature babies to decompose on their beds. They have since kidnapped, stripped, tortured civilians and tried to frame them as Hamas fighters for their propaganda. They have since shot people at refugee camps execution style. They have since targeted academics and poets and directors. They have since killed 86 journalists. Still no ceasefire.

psa: i know that many of us did NOT doubt this for a second, neither did i. this is targeted at the people who educated themselves for the first time about this genocide and discovered the absolute horrific things that Israel is capable of doing to Palestinians, with the unwavering support of its allies.

#i rem clearly that video of the first hospital that was bombed #how israel first denied it and said that it was a failed hamas rocket #then it said it attacked the hospital because hamas was hiding in there #and i rem thinking that this would get every world leader outraged #that they would do everything to stop this genocide #that was too many weeks ago #nothing has changed #this should terrify us all #this could have been us in that hospital #in that house in that refugee camp in that ambulance in that street #nowhere is safe in Palestine #nowhere #free palestine #palestine #free gaza #gaza

[amalgamezz]

ALT

#aromantic #actually aromantic #aro #aro pride #love loses #good job everyone. im so proud of us <2 #edit (12/31): also pls do not quote 'not all loves are romantic/sexual' at me #1. aros have always been the first to dissect the definition of love. we are likely to know that before you. #2. are we gonna keep pretending that aros aint only an afterthought to the 'love wins' and 'love is love' crowds. #3. im loveless aro. i do not care for love whether its romantic platonic or familial etc etc. #one can do good w love. one can also do evil w love. love =/= morals. stop acting like it is.

[bloodyethanol]

im letting the days go by and i dont even have a beautiful house or a beautiful wife

#talking heads #decent posts #guys stop roasting me okay i do have a beautiful (future) boywife. not a beautiful house though. #muted post

[magnusbae]

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

#i said i wont ever rant about this bc it's unseemly but HONESTLY. #you simply cannot complain about not having enough of A or B or C and then never reblog / interact with the content you love. #If you LOVE something you cannot just leave a like and silently wait for more to happen #I know countless of content creators that simply stopped doing art/writing fic/making edits #You need to understand that fandom content is made FOR the fandom FOR the engagement FOR the entertainment and fun it makes. #If a content creator does not have fun IN the fandom-- why would they spend the scares free time they have on making this content? #And we're not talking about things that you don't like-- no one expects you to reblog things you don't like. #However I think it's safe to say that when a post has more than 5k it's not some random shitpost with no value. #tumblr issues #tumblr #content creators #buns.txt #something something please don't starve your local clowns

[inkskinned]

in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #this is about someone specific but feel free to blorbo on main. #tbh this is familial for me so that is an element but it's also about childhood best friends #and probably about ur enemies to lovers blorbo #(but i want to specifically say if ur partner is like this. not necessarily a good partnership lol.) #(the dynamics at play in familial/friend relationships feel equally important and in some ways are HARDER to escape. #bc we can see that this is a potentially toxic romantic foundation. #but in family ? ...... it's toxic and it doesn't stop u from loving them. bc u always have. #and i think that makes it harder. by a lot. which is what this is referencing). #but genuinely and really truly forever feel free to tag ur potentially toxic enemies to lovers on this and all my poetry #here i'll do one for u - adora & catra :x

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

just to be completely clear, the amount of military power and political influence Israel has has NOTHING to do with its settlers being Jewish. Israel is a force for American & European interests in the region and they're just doing what America does and allows/encourages its close allies to do.

war crimes aren't considered war crimes when someone America finds useful is doing them. european and american pushback against anyone criticizing Israeli apartheid & genocide is 100% because these crimes are useful to American & European hegemony.

Governments that are deeply antisemitic, like France, aren't suddenly caring about Jewish people. Jewish people, persecuted the world over, don't hold some kind of hegemonic power outside of Israel.

The state of Israel and its attendant brutal treatment of the locals are both incredibly useful to the US, and American hegemony means we're expected to celebrate both.

not bc they're Jewish. this isn't a break in the pattern of western antisemitism and it's not evidence that antisemitism doesn't exist.

it's just like how you could get fired for saying shit against the US war in Afghanistan when i was growing up. it is 100% about US military and political interests (ok slightly western europe too but lbr)

#this widespread support has NOTHING to do w Israelis being Jewish apart from evangelicals wanting to use them as pawns for armageddon #the primary reason this is all being treated like it's ok is cuz it's useful to the usa #i feel like this post is going to bring terrible ppl into my inbox but i'm gonna leave it rebloggable for now #if our (US+EU) governments push back at all it will be because it stops being useful to us #either because Israel isn't doing this as quickly & efficiently as promised and it looks like Palestine might actually do some damage #or if it otherwise becomes too politically costly by causing too much tension between the US & other nationstates #either allies like Saudi or if states we aren't quite ready to have war w seem to be ready to throw down over it

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[trans-cuchulainn]

wish abled people would understand fluctuating disabilities more. i told my boss my knee was better today than friday and she's like "I'm glad it's slowly getting better" but it's not Getting Better, it's just having a good day (and tbh it's worse now than it was when I said that) and tomorrow it'll probably be unable to bear my weight again. like. stop thinking of these things as a straight line progression because they're not and I'm tired to having to explain every bad day like it's some bigass new problem when it's just. the nature of these things

#i also wish adobe acrobat would stop freezing on me because it's like the whole reason i came in today #bc i dont have acrobat at home #and it's being so shit I can't actually do any work #painblogging #disability

[somnimagus]

out of the frying pan and into the fire and into another frying pan that's also on fire

[id in alt text]

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dunmeshi #this past year i decided to get into some of the manga i hear people really rave about #and dunmeshi was the first one i read and i adore it so much i don't have the words #gosh ryoko kui is such a huge inspiration.. i hope i can save up and get physical copies of the manga some day #ohh and daydream hour if it ever releases in english... #and sorry toshiro doesn't have his armor. i always remember him in his disheveled casual arc #fan art #my art #i think i've just completely stopped trying to do a clean flat style... i've just started painting over my sketches now #it looks a little messy but it's so much more fun #this was the first time in awhile i looked forward to continuing a drawing

[nazumichi]

neurotypicals are so funny sometimes. “well, just don’t forget it next time.” holy shit. you’ve done it. you’ve fixed me. who knew memory problems could be solved so simply? i am no longer autistic, i am ready to join you at the social function. by god.

#/sar #raii talks a lot #i think it’s a combination of the autism and the adhd but an irl said “i am no longer autistic” yesterday when she got through small talk #and i haven’t stopped thinking about it. anyway if i’d known i could “just remember” i wouldn’t have signed up for this oh wow /j #attacking my math professor is always morally correct. it is always the right thing to do

[anneapocalypse]

So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.

#yes i'm just going to come out and say it i'm talking about sera #not exclusively but i am talking about her #'but her writer actually iS A--' you don't know that! it doesn't matter! and i don't care! #just say that you do not like the character. #people will reblog posts about the latest actor or YA author or whatever getting forced out of the closet and be like #'wow. :( that's terrible.' #and then GO RIGHT BACK TO DOING IT #when are we going to learn #when are we going to stop doing this BEFORE somebody is forcibly outed #because in practical terms #that means you have to be okay with queer characters being written by straight people. #you have to stop weaponizing that against writers you don't like. #you have to be willing to critique the writing on its own merits #without using the writer's (assumed) identity to prop up your arguments #that's how it works #but who wants to actually change the way they talk about media #when tearing apart people's identities for clout is far more entertaining. #gwaren exports #fandom problems #fandom critical