#and i'd have to think abt it much much more

[gotchibam]

Just a heads up, I might open commissions soon since I'll need extra budget for the next month! I know I still have a backlog of ko-fi doodles I need to work on but I'll try my best to do them alongside the comms 😤💪💪💪

#i wasn't able to do much of the doodles bc of art block this past few weeks 😔 #tbh I feel like my current workspace is draining so I feel like having a portable device to use for art might help me to be more productive #been thinking of saving up for a tablet so I could work anywhere & anytime i wanted to #I see a lot of ppl use ipad + procreate but apple products are super expensive sooo i'll probably just go for a samsung tab #i've heard the s series work well for drawing? like s6 / s7? #tho I just might go for s9 fe instead since that's the newer version #if you guys have any recommendations abt what tab is good for drawing (that's also budget friendly) pleeeease let me know #i'd really appreciate it!! tysm ;w; #bam blabs

[ricopop]

mini oscillo ref aahh what EVERRR dies @superbellsubways @cephalonheadquarters

#slowly trynna draw our virtual guys again i miss them so much... #virtual assistants #ocs #rico art #oscillo #more virus stuff and the armies i guess. they all have a unit number if theyre recruited by a formal virus leader w actual power #most viruses r more commonly just stragglers at least in. my head they are #for now theres. 2 main types? viruses that come from virus matter #and viruses that are just.. like that HAHAHA #the idiot twins r a good example of both i guess? theyre comprised of virus matter but more put together than how it usually presents itsel #the way virus matter can properly survive is by taking over an electronic it can live without a host but its much more weak and vulnerabl #without a shell ya feel me #UHHH FEEL FREE TO LIKE. ADD STUFF THIS IS MOSTLY JUST BRAIN GOOP AHHH #i would go on but idk how to properly explain things.. i eventually wanna make a big old post abt it but idk how many people would actually #be interested lol #and i'd have to think abt it much much more #anyways ysaaa

[clarisse-doodles]

Cass + ballet 🩰 (ft. supportive siblings and good dad Bruce)

I love the idea of Cass enjoying dance. It's an outlet that allows her to express herself without words, and I think she would enjoy the highly technical aspect of ballet combined with its storytelling and emotional side. and as a former dancer I always have fun imagining my fav characters do ballet :)

#ft good older bro dick grayson. and supportive babs and steph. and good dad bruce #sewing pointe shoes in the batcave as one does #cass jus having fun #dick and cass bonding over how they both enjoy stretching and falling asleep in the strangest positions #the rite of passage of trying pointes for the first time #bruce watches her first performance and she gives him a big hug #listen yall when i saw that comic panel of cass seeing ballet for the first time and the way it just Made Sense to her #i havent been normal since #i also just love the idea that eventually cass decides to take lessons and makes friends and learns things she'd never considered because #i think she'd be able to replicate most of the steps just by watching because of her training but she would be coming from #a background focused on martial arts and fighting and not. art and storytelling #and i'd love to see that being explored more. cass using her athletic skillset in something so unrelated to vigilante life #creating beauty instead of causing violence #clearly i've thought about this too much #if you have fic recs PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME #i haven't read a lot of comics either outside of the first half of cass' batgirl run so recs for comics abt cass welcome as well! #clarisse doodles #dc #cassandra cain #batfam #batgirl #black bat #dc fanart #ballet

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[xannerz]

its always surreal to me to see people praise s2 of centaurworld. s2 was so spectacularly bombastic and aimless and it ended in this awkward forgettable fizzle.

i feel like a dick saying it b/c i really do love the show lmao. or, at least half of it lmao (/stares at tnwk). gf and i've been thinking about rewatching it just to write out our thoughts on why s2 was such a poor follow-up to s1 - from the tone to the setup to all the worldbuilding the narrative had to offer in between the (far more) memorable songs of s1. idk. it's sad because cw really had the bones of a cult classic, but idek if you can call it that.

ive seen a few posts commenting on its lack of popularity, and i feel like it certainly deserves more, b/c i do feel like it's a novel idea made w/ love, but the shift btwn s1 and s2 wasnt just in the plot. there was a full-on *fracture* in the quality and direction and i'm still scratching my head over it. more than i should be, probably. but, it's just a bummer.

#centaurworld #centaurworld critical #<- a tag i never thought i'd use lol #ok EDIT: fuck it im tagging this maybe there are others who'll also see their own viewing experiences in this post too #dont mind me rambling #but i got an ask on my thoughts abt cw a long time ago (hi!! i still have it 😭) and ive been wanting to write a detailed response since. #debating tagging this since the fandom's already p small and i dont wanna bump the tag with negativity #even if it is (what i feel is) p fair criticism. but idk people are sensitive and conflate it w hate idk idk #ive seen thinly-veiled hate posts in the t*ngled the series tags and it's always bothered me. #bc you can tell op just like hates xyz character or the show entirely and its like can you just come out and say it LMFAOO #but i genuinely like cw. i so so very much do. so i get bummed out! gf and some other friends and i were so excited for s2 and #when it rolled out ep by ep we were like 'it'll get better right? right?' #also tempted to just draw more cw fanart in general bc the t t s fandom is slow and if half the people dont have each other blocked #theres simply 0 overlap in fave chars or interpretations so lmao #im going back to work i just feel sour LMAO #also adding that i think a lot of people conflate a story eliciting an emotional reaction from you = its good #but ill revisit that and all these thoughts again eventually in another post. we'll see. #and i STILL want a nwk tattoo lmao. or at least an elkie. gf and i love elk bc of this guy! the impact that he has! #xangoeswah

[moregraceful]

you know what's cool, there was a vote by mail ballot drop box right out the sap center last time i went by there. like drop off your ballot, go to a sharks game, come out of the game to the worst results of your life. ideal

#I HATE THAT MY OPTIONS ARE LIKE GUY WHO SUCKS OR GUY WHO SUCKS MORE #I HATE VOTING BUT I HATE NOT VOTING EVEN MORE!!! #MATT MAHAN....FIX THE POTHOLES IN MY STREET YOU ASS...MY QUALITY OF LIFE IS NOT IMPROVED BY MORE POLICE ITS IMPROVED BY NO POTHOLES... #the one thing i miss abt the library was we were an early voting site so i was WAY more keyed into what was going on politically #bc we'd have patrons whipped the fuck up about their ballots coming to rant about everything they'd just voted on #and then i'd be googling all the batshit things they were saying to fact check and i was just so much more aware #voting today was just like fuck who do i hate the least on this list of jackasses #also the guy who came to the desk and was like 😔 i sealed my ballot envelope without putting my ballot in it 😔 what do i do 😔 #that was like. my favorite thing that ever happened at the library i think #he came to the desk holding his ballot envelope and his ballot and he was like 😔 i need help 😔 can you help me 😔 #i was like buddy what happened 😭😭 and he was like 😔😔😔 #fresno oilers.txt

[frecklystars]

sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......

#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken #because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying. #he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it #i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day #and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE #because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying #but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long. #i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life! #and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did #AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked #i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly* #feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain #and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost #but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you' #'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you' #'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!' #and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now. #i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to #i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more' #and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing #i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson #because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back #when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time #and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe #ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont. #because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go #god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-

[crescentfool]

going to keep this vague on purpose but playing reload has reactivated brain chemicals in me that i forgot i had.

i think i'd want to make a more thought out post later, but i think my favorite thing about reload (aside from seeing minato in full HD glory) is how much it's made me think about video games as a storytelling medium- specifically with what mechanics and game design imply for characters.

there's a lot of quality of life features added to reload that help players easily enter a flow state and get immersed in the gameplay (most notable with tartarus)! which is so dope! reload has been such a nice blend of the mechanics from both FES and portable and it feels like a love letter to persona 3 fans.

there are definitely mechanics i miss from FES (minato's ability to wield multiple weapons being one of them). i can't deny that FES has some dated mechanics that don't necessarily feel fun for the player experience... but!

i think i mostly miss things from FES because i feel like so much of minato's characterization (for me) was informed by the gameplay experience and mechanics (e.g. fatigue system). obviously there's still other ways you can put together his personality (his dialogue responses), but i think game mechanics are a bit part of it, for me.

but in spite of that, i think reload is a really nice introduction to persona 3, it's so much more accessible and has a bunch of things to help make it more fun :) so far i think i'd recommend it to people :D

#persona 3 #persona 3 reload #i don't even really talk about mechanics from reload specifically here but just in case haha #lizzy speaks #im really enjoying this game. i dont want to get into specific details abt reload in a text post atm #and if i do in the future it'll be under the cut #but my god this game is giving me big brainrot #i know i tend to mostly just be like 'hehe fanart reblogging time and here is me talking about the two guys i like' #but playing reload again reminded me of how much i loved playing FES because it was so fun for me to see how FES was designed #like... every time i finished FES i'd think about how much modernsona evolved the gameplay formula and built upon it #and now every time i finish reload i think 'goddamn they've really nailed the formula this experience is so fun' #but also it's fun for me to think about the different experiences curated by both FES and reload #i don't really know if anyone would play FES anymore with reload being out but i still really like the takeaways from FES #FES mechanics may not be the most convenient for the player but they definitely help sell the narrative in ways that only a video game can #like sometimes i just think about the movies and while its a good summary of the events it feels more like supplementary material #like p3 is 80+ hours and in order to have that 6 hour movie experience there's so much that has to be condensed/removed. they hit different #sometime after i finish reload im going to make a text post about my favorite mechanics from FES and how you can read into minato's- #character from it (i don't feel like it's very original but GUYS I LOVE GAME DESIGN GAME DESIGN IS SO COOL AND INTERESTING) #anyways. i needed 2 get my feelings out there. im on august 4th rn. this game is so awesome i love experiencing minato's day to day life #and i fucking LOVE TARTARUS!!!!!! (this tower is my beloved i can just live here forever). #i love having no expectations for video games ever because then i get knocked out of my seat im having so much fun. ok bye. back to the voi

[gayspock]

i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss

#egg.txt #i was like ok before i go sign up to a new place i'll do the chloe ting workouts just to get a routine back in #my god . i have never wanted to sob more from just being so understimulated in my life #but theyre all the SAAAAAME. IM GOING TOKILLMYSELFFFFF. #and the stupid music makes me want to put knives in my fucking ears #i'd gym again but i just couldnt keep waking up at 5am i wasnt getting sleep & half the time i wasnt even able to get a good work out in #like it would be 30mins max of actual exercise and then like #+ so much more time just getting there and it was wrecking everything else in my schedule #it sounds so dumb but even shit like having to drop my bagg off & pick it up every day meant i had to get later buses (& more) #and it would mean just losing hours in total at that point. for what. for a 30 min workout. when i wasnt making any progress with anyway bc #i was getting no sleep? 😭 #i wanted ot try running outside again but ugh not to be a baby but people have been harassing me in the street so much more again and i jus #cant fucking do it broooo #and im too shy for most classes . the other stuff is crazy expensive . im going to start gnawing on something for real #i was thinking abt bouldering but it looks so crazy fucking expensive #its rlly a shame bc i did rlly start to get into running too. i could get a treadmill but idek where to put it rn and it feels crazy #to get one when i dont even have a couch... ehrm

[tinukis]

what if i drew the vinsmoke siblings (including sanji) inspired by the song "afton family" what then?

an animatic could work too however i dont have the energy for that 😔

#mb i just remembered the song's existence and thought abt the vinsmokes #the one sang by apangrypiggy anyway #im so normal abt the vinsmokes btw #except ballsack chin (judge) #hate their asses for how they treated sanji #but i also cant help my attachment for them anyway #IDK i just?? love siblings in media so much and i cant pinpoint why #i mean i have siblings myself but (personal life stuff) so idk #sometimes i just think abt a world where sanjis brothers were capable of emotions #i want them to care abt him more #though maybe after wci i think (im insane) they did start to care for sanji #their own way obviously but just... the scene where they helped him escape w luffy lives in my head rent free #imagine reiju smiling to herself seeing her little brothers starting to (and refusal to accept) care for sanji #and then sanjis kindness... refusing to let his blood relatives he cant even call family die #god i love u sanji #i love wci !! #tin talks #i need to read a fic abt the vinsmoke siblings and sanji #ive never read a fix it fic so idk how i'd feel abt that but #it'd just be nice to see them start to care for sanji idk im crazy #theyll never be forgiven ever but GODDDDDD imfjkwjwk normal

[wundrousarts]

hi I hope this doesn’t sound like a demand lol but I love how you draw jupiter and I hope you draw him more

your art is so cool by the way I really like your character lineup 🥺

Thank you so much!! I literally never draw Jupiter, on account of my inability to draw 1. adult men and 2. beards, BUT it’s something I need to / want to get better at. The only other time I’ve drawn him was that lineup which I did super quick, so it was fun to try and think of an actual design so I can try to draw him more!

[ID: Three half-colored digital sketches of Jupiter North from Nevermoor. They show him as a kid with messy hair, a young adult with a mullet and mustache, and an adult with longer hair and a fuller beard. End ID.]

Details on my Jupiter design / headcanons (?) for his life under the cut:

I started with the middle— in my layers, I dubbed him to be “teen” Jupiter, originally intending for him as a senior scholar, but as time went on I figured he was more like, early 20s young adult Jove. The Wunsoc sweater is just still there on the adults because I didn’t want to redraw <3

I feel like Wunsoc, especially with Dearborn and Murgatroyd prowling the halls, holds its student’s appearances to a certain standard. Sure, society members are representatives of the society for the rest of their lives once they graduate, but their time in school is their first introduction to that life. It's their debut as society members. We see this in a lot of stuff with Holliday, in Hollowpox and in the one Silverborn snippet, how she's manufacturing an image for Mog and co. and physical appearance plays a part in it.

Going with this: I feel like Wunsoc would expect their students to keep their appearance clean and approachable somewhat. Jupiter gives me a vibe of the kid who had a crazy growth spurt, and was able to grow a beard before graduating– BUT I don't know if Wunsoc (really just the Scholar Mistresses) would be crazy for that. So I imagine that he's relatively clean-shaven for the most part, nowhere near modern Jove, and then starts to grow out his facial hair a bit more as a senior scholar where I imagine things would lax a bit, and then just commit fully to growing a beard once he properly graduates.

So young adult Jupiter is perhaps in his early 20s, a somewhat recent Wunsoc graduate. I'm a mullet Jupiter truther, where his hair is longer in the back, and had to represent that. Younger Jove's is messier and more fun; he's not too concerned about his image as he hasn't quite reached that laundry list of titles and accolades yet.

Present-day adult Jupiter is still rocking the mullet style, just now it's longer and styled a bit more professionally. But let's be real– it doesn't stay this way. It totally gets easily messed up from his hats, and Jove loves to have fun and entertain people, Plus, he's a busy man, constantly stressed and running around. While the hair here might be great for say, a formal meeting or a magazine cover, the hair most folks end up seeing him with tends to be a bit more wild. He definitely starts to resemble his younger self's hair more after a rowdy night or a stressful endeavor.

Kid Jupiter– not much to say here, tbh. I figured I'd stick with the longer hair he has as an adult, kinda rowdy. Not a mullet yet, though! I was thinking of the part in Nevermoor where he starts talking about the rules he broke and stuff he got up to as a Wunsoc student, and how Hawthorne started taking notes, and made his hair similar to the rowdy hair of our favorite bestie. However, while Hawthorne's hair is curly, I'm of the belief that Jupiter's hair is definitely pretty straight. So no curlicues for him </3

Hopefully now that I've started to nail down a design for Jupiter, I can draw him more!! I always have soooo many Nevermoor ideas circling around in my brain. I love thinking about designs for various characters and the reasonings behind different aspects of their appearance.

#asks #nevermoor #nevermoor fanart #jupiter north #I have an issue of drawing super small on super large canvases so. sorry for blurry screenshot lol #my references board was just. ewan mcgregor and domhnall gleeson lol. heavy on him tbh #if you saw this in the discord I moved the eye highlights. no reason other than vibes. ​idk how they work tbh it’s just for fun. #I can always expand on my general philosophies (?) for when it comes to drawing characters progressing thru time #/ at different stages of their lives. I have lots of thoughts. #it's easier to apply to adult characters like squall + jupiter and then characters with active development throughout the series like mog #meanwhile other characters like 919 and etc haven't really been through anything Revolutionary yet that I feel would change how I draw them #anyways I'd love to elaborate if anyone has any Qs. was gonna include in this but didn't want to hide it under a cut after a jupiter ramble #i really need to post more nevermoor art. I look on here and realize I've actually barely done much lol. #but also I'm the busiest person alive and never draw and just think abt it so. oops. 🤷

[silenthillbunni]

📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2

#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore #we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life #i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible #if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green #and later this year i think i might change my name #it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random #i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel #really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am #to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate #but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it #but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so #when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy #i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that #also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk..... #rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els #sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w #not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else #but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway #that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but #all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever #i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right? #i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not #im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help #it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning #nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my #feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions #i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary

[mattodore]

"show off your music" tag 🎧 using this spotify app

this looks so sexy... anyway thank you for the little tag @machinegrl

tagging @wldestluv-rs @fizzytoo @rottengurlz @lucidicer @woohooincoffin @omgkayplays @void-imp @helltrait @raiiny-bay if any of you want to do it as well <3 no pressure tho obv!! also if you've already done this pretend i didn't tag you dkjnhk haven't scrolled very far back on my dash yet

#river dipping #playlist #gold guns girls is a song olly sent me bc it reminded him of matthias <3 so i spent hours listening to it #if it weren't for the repeated lines mentioning women i'd put it in his playlist but alas............... he is a gay man fdkjndjf #on my knees asking ppl to send me more music that reminds them of my ocs btw. i'm so normal abt it... :) #also........... god......................................... #listening to futile devices and thinking abt theo is enough to kill a person where they stand #i would know. typing this from the grave if you were wondering #famous last words / i'm a liar / silver / lemon eyes are all songs that if i'm listening to them i have to sing along. like i have to. #like it bursts out of me and then i'm banging my fist on the floor. like. literally. like actually. #ESPECIALLY i'm a liar. it makes me want to die and it's in the echthroi story playlist. god. #PLEASE TAKE ME HOME . BAM . WRAP ME IN A TOWEL . BAM . THE MARKS ARE ALL GONE AND I'M FEELING MYSELF AGAIN . BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM #CRAZY . IT'S JUST SO FUCKING CRAZY #lemon eyes turns my brain to mush too because it's SOOOOOOOO matthias coded. #like especially early on in mattodore's little situationship when theo was just. so jealous. like caustically so. #hush now baby there's no need to cry let me wipe away those lemon eyes...... #all your worries such a waste of time... you can't even see how much you're Mine. . .... #I BET YOU WANNA WALK AWAY RUN AWAY LOOK AWAY TURN AWAY HONEY YOU CAN'T HIIIIIIIIDE #LEMON EYES YOU'RE MINE. YELLOW EYES ALL MINE. #YELLOW I WILL HAVE TO BITE YOUR TONGUE. . . SONGS THAT MAKE ME CLAW AT MY OWN SKIN

[kenobihater]

honestly being in some tall CRP grasses and brambles and brush would fix me <- a man who hasn't walked in the countryside in over a year

#i'd take the locust trees and briars and cockleburs i don't CARE scratch me up i just want to be OUTSIDEEEEEEE #there's barely any bugs this time of year too so i wouldn't have to worry too much abt ticks and mites and skeetos #i really am my mother's son. i don't need the outdoors as much as she does but i genuinely think i need to get out in the wilderness at #LEAST once a year or i start becoming (more) fucked in the head #cityslickers do NOT get the appeal of getting dirt under ur nails & whacked in the face w/ branches in a cedar stand but it is transcendant! #theres birds. theres deer. coyotes. turkeys. bobcats even. and the cougars are returning!! i wanna be OUT THERE #ik my granddad's land out there isn't proper prairie bc it has trees due to human intervention but like. god. i still need to be Out There! #i need to look for cool rocks and arrowheads and mushrooms and hunt for shed antlers and read a book while my mom hunts #maybe i should go to the local nature preserve sometime this week. it's small but beautiful and i NEED this i can't wait for october #len speaks

[aeide-thea]

As soon as I stopped talking about myself in second person, it sucked the defensive posturing, language, and energy out of most of the conversations I had with people, both in person and online.

Quick recap on first, second, third person

First person uses: I, me, mine, we, etc. Second person uses: you, yours, etc. Third person uses: they, she, he, her, him, their, it, etc.

What the hell I mean by “talking about myself in second person”

“Oh, you know, when you’re trying to get out the door for work in the morning, and it’s just one thing after another. First you break your favorite coffee mug, then you can’t find your keys, then you drop your purse and spill everything out. You know that kind of day?”

I’m not actually talking about “you” in that paragraph. Not until the last sentence. I’m actually describing ME, a morning I experienced. But, I’m not simply describing my day and asking if “you” (the person I’m speaking to) knows what I mean. I’m, with my speech, assuming they’ve shared this experience, and talking about it as if it’s a shared experience that they do know. Further, I’m assuming, with my language, that they feel about it the same way I do.

Some experiences ARE universal. … I think. Maybe. If we take care to talk about them vaguely enough and don’t include details which vary from person to person. Many experiences are NOT universal.

The BIG and UNNECESSARY gambles that talking about myself in second person takes

When I project my experience onto someone, unless my projection “feels good” to them, chances are they’ll want to defend themselves against it.

It could be that they have a negative perception of the experience, or the kind of person who has had that experience. Some really put together not-clumsy folks (whose hands don’t occasionally just spasm open and launch something across the room for no reason) look down on forgetful, clumsy experiences like this morning I just described. Some people feel shame when they themselves are clumsy. When I describe THEM as being clumsy and forgetful that does NOT feel good to them.

It could be that I’m describing something as negative that they don’t believe is negative at all. For some people, this is a relatively NORMAL morning, which I’m describing as being abnormal and bad. Hence, I’m calling them abnormal and bad, and assuming they feel abnormal and bad about themselves.

It could be a dozen other scenarios I’ve not thought of.

THE ONLY way this kind of communication is successful is if we both share my experience and also my feelings and perception of the experience. And they’re open to sharing those feelings with me.

There’s no reason for me to make that one scenario the only successful communication scenario. Nor to leave so many possibilities for defensiveness.

What I can say instead

I can just use the first person. That’s it. It’s that simple.

“Oh, man, I’m having one of those mornings I do sometimes. Just trying to get out the door for work, and it’s been one thing after another. First I break my favorite coffee mug, then I can’t find my keys, then I drop my purse and spill everything out. You know that kind of day?”

In this scenario, I’m not asking the other person to picture themselves having this awful day. They don’t think about their coffee mug breaking, nor having trouble finding their own keys. I’m not insinuating anything about how put-together or not-put-together they are. Or what they feel about this kind of day. I’m just sharing what happened to me, and letting them picture me instead of themselves as I describe it. When I say “you” in this version, I actually DO mean the person I’m speaking to, and NOT myself.

With this version of the story, my communication has a much better chance of being successful. That is, of me being able to accurately paint a picture of what I’m describing without introducing unnecessary barriers to the information.

If someone CAN imagine this happening, and they’re willing to keep talking, then I’ve succeeded. They don’t have to respond to their own emotions about my assumptions about them. They can instead just listen and respond to me.

It CAN sometimes be good to speak about an experience in this way, assuming it is shared

It actually CAN be a useful bonding tool, to assume with my language that the experience and my feelings about it are shared. It can feel good to both of us not to be alone in this life and all the crazy, horrible, beautiful things that happen to us in it.

It’s just that that’s ONLY helpful to do when it’s TRUE.

This has been a weirdly hard habit to break, but soooo worth it

Turns out, when I’m really craving to know I’m not alone in something, or when I feel vulnerable, I WANT it to be a shared experience. I really, really WANT it to be true that it HAS happened to the person I’m talking to, and that they share my feelings. At least, that’s why I think this habit really took hold of me. It’s also true that this was the way adults around me spoke when I was a kid, and I just learned it the same way I learned all language.

The payoff in breaking this habit has been HUGE though.

My sloppy language use in mixing up what is “me-stuff” and what is “them-stuff” had meant I actually never had to THINK about the possibly different experiences and perspectives of myself and people I spoke with. Assuming, with my language, that both our experiences and perspectives of those experiences were the same meant that I was actually ASSUMING these things were true in reality.

Turns out, as soon as I stop to think about my word use, and sort out if I am talking about me or them, I actually have to STOP and THINK about the two of us as being different.

This has been a goddamn gold mine. For real.

It allows me to be open to other people sharing something different about what I say. I don’t feel closed off and defensive if they don’t share my experience. I’m already entertaining the idea that they might feel differently about this kind of experience, or that they might NEVER have had it at all, and have only an outsider’s perspective of it.

I end up holding FEWER assumptions about other people, because I’m not making those assumptions about them when I speak about myself. Because I’m making fewer assumptions about them, there’s fewer things for them to feel defensive about.

I also am able to feel so much more clarity, in my own mind, about when I *am* actually talking about other people, and not myself. This has been additionally really helpful to my healing from codependency.

So there it is, my favorite communication life hack: When I’m talking about me, my experience, my life, I talk in the first person. It means I’ve stopped projecting myself onto the people I speak with, and thus, they don’t have to defend themselves against my projection onto them.

#the style and formatting of this post are. very much the thing that they are #like. do we really have to do italics AND all-caps. could we pick one. #and originally i was going to try to like. excerpt it and shape it more to my taste in that way #but like. which bits do you chop out. better to just present the thing as it presents itself. #anyway i wish i could make everyone have this realization bc it's SO important imo #saw a post recently abt ~the experience of having a uterus~ which was like. speak for yourself‚ lol #and like. there was nothing wrong with it! as a description of the OP's experience! but the rhetorical assumption they were making #was that it was necessarily the experience of *everyone* who has a uterus #but like. it's *not* my experience! so i know that's untrue! #and so immediately it became 'this post is trying to convince me of falsehoods' and it put my back up #when with different pronouns it could've just been someone's totally innocuous perblogging i'd have given a like #anyway. might make my own post abt this at some point but in the meantime i think this one's pretty good if you can stand the style #useful reframings #long post

[starheirxero]

HEY BTW ACTUALLY!!! Its 3 am rn and I'm going to bed but I just remembered I had a DCA x Subnautica x No Mans Sky AU that I totally forgot about and I wanna talk about it in the morning or at least Share The Vibes bc I was honestly so right about that

#xero says things #i think i just made it for self insert indulgence??? #but /man/ it could lead to some interesting set ups #if i made it tsams instead of just dca too i could add more characters and think abt more wild designs....... #the idea was that like. #the characters would be fish-ified and then ran thru a no mans sky filter #meaning they likely have some sort of strange effect like how those boundary failure planets look #idk if i'd want the atlas involved??? or if i do i might make the atlas a mix of smth to make it less obvious its just. #The Straight Up Atlas. #idk im already rambling too much rn goodnight LOL