#and i'm like. sad abt it too that's the thing

[stuffeddeer]

okay but..... pathetic yearning beast!stalkerzai... he's so quiet abt his obsession with u making up any excuse to have u around for subordinate purposes and when ur not around him he makes sure he can still keep tabs on u AHHH hes so sad and so smitten

"pathetic" i dont need to hear any more. im on board.

The continuous knocking on your apartment door leaves you anxious, quickly pulling on a comfy sweatshirt before answering the door. A breeze flies into the room, causing you to shiver, before you make eye contact with,

"Why aren't you at work today?" Dazai crosses his arms, an angry expression on his face. Though, the pout he wears causes it to be less intimidating than he'd normally be.

You glance into your apartment briefly, still feeling chilly while exposed to the outside air. "Um... I don't work?"

"You always work."

"Right. Which is why I have today off." Awkwardly, you itch your arm. "Am I… needed, Boss?"

Dazai sighs before walking into your apartment (with no invitation) and closes your own door behind him. "You're freezing."

"I'm slightly chilled," you shrug, brushing off the notion. Any other subordinate wouldn't dare correct the boss of the Port Mafia, but he'd always been more lenient with you - supposedly because you ‘aren’t as dumb’ as the rest. "But that's what the hoodie is for."

Without another word, Dazai plops down onto your couch, making a show of looking around your apartment. It’s tiny - the whole thing barely the size of his office at HQ — and Dazai wonders if you’d rather move in with him. For more space, of course. And he guesses you’d be saving on rent that way, too.

“How do you know where I live?” You ask curiously. Sure, it’s probably somewhere in your files, but your boss never seemed like the type to care.

Shrugging, he murmurs, “It’s my job.”

You want to make this visit quick, but kicking out your boss didn’t seem like a smart idea. “Are you thirsty? Would you like a cup of tea?..”

Yes, Dazai wants to try your tea. Just because you’re his subordinate, and he needs to make sure it’s up to par. What if he needs you to serve tea to some associates in the future? “I’d love one.”

Biting back a sigh, you fill your kettle before placing it on the stove, watching as your old gas stove flickers on. Silence hangs between you two - you had no intention of carrying the conversation when he just barged in uninvited.

Dazai seems to have a similar idea, sitting laxly on your couch and waiting for his tea. You pour one cup, uninterested in making one yourself, before placing it on the coffee table in front of him. “Sugar? Milk?”

“This is fine, thanks.” He takes a sip. Heavenly, he’s sure. Well, all tea tastes the same, but something about it coming from your hands… delectable. It’s as though he can taste the love you must pour into every cup.

Mouth shut, you take a seat on the chair across from him. “May I ask, sir, why are you here? Am I needed?” The question is posed once again as you hope for a quick resolution. Kicking out your boss is wrong, but hopefully he’ll read between the lines and show himself out - the same way he showed himself in.

A long sip of tea permeates the otherwise silent room. He’s doing this on purpose, you’re sure of it.

“…I was worried,” he mumbles into the mug, sound muffled and quiet.

“Sorry?”

“You should be,” he replies, uninterested in repeating himself. “I needed you today, only to find out you vanished into thin air.”

“I didn’t run, if that’s what you’re implying,” your eyes narrow. You would not be mistaken for a traitor.

“No, no,” he grins. You were at your most entertaining when you became combative. Dazai much prefers you like this rather than subservient. “You took today off.”

Correcting the boss of the Port Mafia was risky, but, “You gave me today off. A month ago, after that mission, you told me to pick a day to relax.”

That’s… true. It was a strenuous mission, and while Dazai made sure to keep you out of the fray, he thought a gift like that would make you feel touched and indebted to him. Annoyingly, he’d nearly forgotten, since Dazai had planned on reneging at the last minute to trap you with him. For your work ethtic, of course.

A pout graces his lips, unhappy at your disappearance from his side. And that he had no rebuttal to it. “Well, I still need you. I made dinner reservations for two accidentally, and the restaurant is rather strict. You need to come with. The meal will be comped, of course."

“Sir, I don’t— “

“Don’t want your job?” His eyes narrow, pout vanishing immediately. You had to go along with it. “I’m sure you don’t mean that, over something as silly as a nice dinner.”

“...Of course, sir.” You tug on the strings of your hoodie, wanting to emphasize that you aren't exactly dressed for something 'nice.' "What time am I expected?"

Dazai has to stop himself from swooning. How adorable. Well, it’s not you that’s adorable, of course. It’s the juxtaposition of such n oversized hoodie on you that he finds adorable, not you yourself. Definitely. “We can leave now, actually. Get changed, please. I wouldn't say there's a dress code, but it's not a 'hoodie' establishment."

Rather than lashing out at him for the snide comment, you choose to bite your tongue and head into your bedroom.

Exhausted was too light a word to describe how you felt. Donned in a 'nice' outfit that was rather uncomfortable, you stood outside in the cold air and harsh breeze as Dazai suggested to the host to let him in. This bastard didn't have reservations for one, much less two.

After the manager is called over and recognizes Dazai, you're quickly ushered in beside him. Dazai pulls out a seat at a secluded table in the back, gesturing for you to sit. "Come."

Without a second thought, you sit in the very seat he'd pulled out, stifling a yawn as he pushes you in. You’re Dazai's best employee - he must keep you close at all times. Which is why he takes advantage of your position as his subordinate to orders you waste your day off in a fancy restaurant across from him. If you want time off of work, you’ll have to spend it with him - just so he can keep an eye on you, of course.

#🦌anon #🦌request #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios #bsd fanfic #bungou stray dogs fanfic #bungo stray dogs fanfic #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader #dazai bsd #dazai imagines #dazai fluff #bsd fluff #beast dazai #beast dazai x reader #bsd beast #smth about this fic makes me hate it. why do i write the way i do. #anyway i posted smth on my side acct (stuffeddeer2) so maybe check that out #he the typa fella to be like. i made too many sandwiches for my picnic accidentally :// guess u gotta come with! #this blanket is too big :( i need someone else to cuddle up under it with me :/ oops!

[sleepy-vix]

How to annotate your books like i do

i'm writing this because i am bored :)

📰🪶

what you will need:

- a bunch of annotation tabs in a variety of colours (you can buy these on amazon)

- a pencil (preferably tiny so it's not always in your way, but that's up to you.)

- no pens. too permanent and they bleed

- no eraser

- no ruler

- no highlighters, colour pens, or colour pencils

- a pencil hook holder thing that you attach to the plastic flat thing that your annotation tabs are on and put your pencil through. compact. keeps all your stuff together when you're not using the pencil

- a book. obviously

- a drink: optional, and unrelated.

How i make the key:

choose colours that match your book. I usually pick out 5 based on intuition. This is how i make my key:

- the darkest colour is for sad/ horrifying/ basically wtf moments

- i always have one for quotes

- i sometimes have one for fun fact; depends on the book

- i like to have a tab that i label as "hm" which basically means "ooh interesting idea proposed here" (not all books will let me have this tab. like a fantasy book wouldnt have this tab, but a dystopian book would. i love it when books allow me to add this tab ^^)

- sometimes i have one for beautiful descriptions and writing

- i have one for cool protagonist moments

- i have another for 'cool character moments: side characters' (i only give side characters their own tab if i find that i am very attached to them. like i was reading the poppy war, and i was bookmarking kitay moments alot so i decided to give him his own colour)

honestly, i do alot of this based on my intuition, and i like to adapt it as i go along

also here are some more general facts abt my annotation habits:

- i usually leave space in my annotation key because half way through the story i will probably add more to the key

- i don't believe in having a tab for plot points. i'd much rather write my thoughts on foreshadowing and plot theories in the margins of the book with my pencil. i see no need to give it a tab

- my pencil is everything. i try to use pencil to express my thoughts whenever i can. i only tab when i really loved a scene or line and feel that my future self would want to easily flip to it

- i don't force myself to be articulate in my written annotations cus there's no space to be. most of the time i just wrote lol, aw, draw a skull, draw a straight lined face, or draw a crying face so that my future self can see what i was feeling when reading it

- i don't like underlining a whole paragraph, i feel like it looks clunky. so instead i draw a bracket like this [ in the margine so it draws my attention to that entire paragraph and future me will know that i found that entire paragraph to be interesting

- my lines are messy, and i love it. it breaks my reading rhythm to bust out a ruler and meticulously rule my lines, i just wing it and move on

- usually, in my annotation key, to start with, there are no tabs for ships. i usually add that in later on if there is any that i care about. if there is romance that i don't care about then i simply won't add a tab.

my annotation experience is very personal and it's done for my future self, or anyone that would like to see my personal thoughts on the story.

i don't care to annotate in a logical way. i won't make tabs for every main character or every plot device or every romance ship. that makes me feel like i'm shallowly categorizing the scenes in the book... ykwim?

- ooh also, by the end of the book, if i find that i am head over heels in love with it, i'll usually go back and draw on any blank space i can find (i try to draw the scene that is happening)

btw none of these photos are mine

thanks for coming to my ted talk

#vix's library #booklr #books #annotations #art of annotating

[starberry-skies]

is it relevant to staple my identity to everything i do? prob not. do i kinda have to do that anyway bc otherwise i'll interact w ppl who hate me? yup

#vent kinda #literally b fine with how other people identify. if everyone was fine and like. Normal. abt how other people identify we wouldn't be here #like. who gives a fuck!!! who cares that much!!!!! #if u harass ppl for their identity over the internet then ur weird tbqh #like change starts w/i the community #if we stop fucking hating eachother we can rise up against the cishetallocentric system #(there's a name for that. i'm forgetting the name. damn) #ANYWAY. #like do other shit!!! be fine be normal #stopping queer infighting is the only we can make change ykkkkk #'you're making us look bad' we would quotd unquote ''''look bad'''' anwayyyyyyyy aaaaaaaa #if you care. more about the opinions of cishetallos when it comes to queer issues. more than the mental wellbeing. of actual queer people. #you have it all fucking wrong. #aghhhhhh #discourse posting #and i'm like. sad abt it too that's the thing #this constant *Constant* harrasment starts to get to you yk. #i can only block so many people before it starts to hurt #that so many people in *my* community hate me. do you see how awful that is? #like. idk anymore dude. #ik that was a quick tone shift sorry lol

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

i think i'd kill for anything related to don henry tomasino

ANON I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY !! thank you so much for this request i love don Henry au so much........😭💔💔💔

anyway! here's random sketches:

and Henry on Vinci's funeral bc i was thinking about it last week. in my head. in my head Vinci was the one who established Henry as the don.. and there's possibility that Vinci & Henry are relatives so yeahhhhhhh. his death would be kinda personal thing to Henry? not super emotional and tragic thing tho, but still

post anything related to don!Henry feels like undressing in public ngl

#idk for some reason im super afraid to share any of my ideas abt don!henry #i thought about this au a lot and i think that it's ooc at it's core and i'm just projecting my own ambitions onto the poor man 😭 #BUT i still think the idea makes sense #< i think Clemente was gonna make Henry a capo after Luca died #and then Clemente was killed n Henry s like what the fuck guys #like this man literally grew up in made man's family #and i hc that most of his brothers were gangsters too #so i believe he subconsciously wants to be more than just a soldier (pride of course it's about pride) #maybe someday there'll be fic💀 #(ending is kinda sad tho. for now) #but im working on other m2 thing rn anyway i hope i'll finish it #henry tomasino #mafia 2 #avart

[caluupin]

Father!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

#caluuart #genshin impact #genshin #art #arlecchino #god she's just so. cool. pretty. ethereal. badass. #also I LOVE HER STORY QUEST SO MUCH!! I think it's definitely one of the best story quests in the game tbh. #wait uh arlecchino story quest spoilers below: #for one; the quest really gives even more depth to arlecchino's character. like yeah the whole thing is well. messed up. #it's an orphanage that raises orphans to be child soldiers after all. But it's also like. It's more.... humane? nicer? for the fatui anyway #which does bring me to the next thing. you know how arlecchino's like “if you're gonna leave the HotH you need to fight for it with ur life #I genuinely think that she's gonna just. straight up kill them. although it's not unlikely at all it turns out that (most of the time?) she #-just gives them a one trip to memory loss and set them free. which i do know it's kinda like death in genshin's lore but still. #I just find that pretty interesting. #also the cutscene where clervie says goodbye n stuff. It makes me cry EVERY TIME. ARGHHHH TRAGIC CHILDHOOD DOOMED YURI MY BELOVED :((( #clervie makes me so sad man. the fact that she just. accepts death. she really just let peruere kill her huh. crucabena when I fucking get #the hopelessness getting to her at that point. all attempts of freedom failed until that day..... GOD. and clervie finally getting closure- #-in the story quest as a spirit... I just..... man......... #on a lighter note :) #I got obsessed with a bloodborne OST LMAO. the uhh the lugwig boss theme. esp the sec phase one. it's SO GOOD. I first heard abt it in a- #-vid analyzing the ost musically. At the time i was like. woah. cool. what a cool sounding track. fast foward to like. a day before 4.6 #I'm watching a genshin theory video and I heard the music in the bg. I recognized it but I couldn't remember where I heard it from #UNTIL I REMEMBERED. and looked it up. And I have not known peace since. good music. #anw I've been rambling too much so yeah. gn my dear fellows!!

[yohankang]

it's my last day of work tomorrow... i'm happy and relieved but also sad and terrified

#sad bc of the friends i'm leaving and terrified bc i absolutely need to find a job this month and it's not going well #also so stressed abt tomorrow... there's so many things i need to do before i leave #and i'm training the new girl and there's really not enough time to teach her even the most necessary things... #today i brought cake and food to say goodbye to my favorite department #and they surprised me with flowers and a goodbye gift??? they got me really pretty earrings #and they all gathered to thank me for these past months and i started crying before the manager finished the first sentence lmaooo #and i'm probably going to cry tomorrow too #i will miss them so much. i'm not even from their department but we got so close #i just started crying again agkdfjdfjd i'm a bit overwhelmed #like i said i'm terrified that i don't have a new job yet but at the same time i really need some time to rest. both physically and mentally #goddd i really hope i can secure a job soon and just chill for the rest of the month..... #k.txt

[daz4i]

man if anyone else was in my situation I'd tell them "noooo don't listen to the people in your life who tell you you're making excuses and just being lazy, it's clear that you're in pain, not to mention executive dysfunction makes everything so much harder and depression draining you immediately after one action, be kinder to yourself" however. i am not anyone else

#parents 🤝 old therapist 🤝 friends a few years ago -> convincing me I'm lazy and making excuses to not do anything #it eased up a bit when i had the original crohn's scare bc suddenly ppl had to believe there might actually be smth wrong with me - #- and I'm not just faking my pain/it's just in my head. but the novelty of that passed even though it's still unclear if i have it or not #i don't know either. whether I'm being lazy or not. bc when I'm home alone for a week i DO do some of these things - #- that i normally struggle with. but 1 not all 2 as i mentioned i do need to lie down and recharge after everything #even if I'm not having stomach pains my muscles Do Not like me moving around that much but that might also be me being out of shape #which is think is what all those ppl i mentioned think. which is why they try to encourage me. it's not malicious or anything #but it still hurts a lot to hear. esp when it's coming from all directions and i still. can't. do. anything. #being told I'm just being lazy isn't as encouraging as they may think. tho at this point they're also expressing frustration- #- which i can't blame them for i mean I'd be frustrated too. i AM frustrated too #no one is meaner to me than myself after all #vent #man. that post hit hard akdlglg i didn't realize how much i have held up inside me abt this topic #I'm. really sad now. i just started the day and I'm already crying. damn

[anaalnathrakhs]

it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.

mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.

#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD. #EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY #OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH #i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion'' #they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them #so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child #they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table #just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase #i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either? #i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them. #i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to. #but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset #quiet at home #and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places #and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway? #keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine? #try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened? #i dont know how to live like a normal person #literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X. #go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book. #because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped. #everything hurts holy shit #broadcasting my misery #vent #ed tw

[astrxealis]

my favorite teacher plays dnd and bg3 do you know how crazy that is to me

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #LOTS OF THOUGHTS HII GOOD NOON TODAY WAS A REAL FUN DAY #I ALMOST BROKE DOWN AND ALSO I KINDA VENTED AND G #UH. WHY IS TUMBLR WEIRD AND CLOSING MY POST. ANYWAY! #i did vent to my friends abt annoying classmates (aka annoying ppl who are irresponsible) that bring me and my friends and groups grades #down. and yeah. but i bonded a lot w various frienda and and and fun day and and and I LEARN ^^ AND #things are quite bad sometimes but sometimes they aren't actually that bad and idk school is just really fun i'm almost sad #just really happy with where i am rn and my friends are noticing too sniffs ..... noticing how i'm talking more or whatnot #and more comfy and whatnot and hey it did take like. quite a while. but still! just. really happy #bcs this Quite A While was either basically immediate but in the making (two friends) or gradual but always getting there (group in class) #and etc !!! like hey maybe some friends online or irl i am not talking to as much atm but there's the comfort that we still greatly care #for wach other. and whatnot. and there's just a lot and damn if i gave up this wouldn't be happening lol my point is things do get better #and a lot of it tbh is on how you improve and see things (???) idk but damn i'm just rlly proud of myself #I COULD STILL DO BETTER mbut idk all of this is me and im just rlly secure in that and i have been since the longest time ngl. im amazing #yeehaw ANYWAYYYYFGEGKR BG3 I STARTED A DARK URGE RUN LAST NIGHT YE GODS ITS A BIT SCARY TO ME BUT I LOVE THE BLOOD #im trying to fight against it bcs im using my main tav but boom make him a durge guy so ^_^

[aeide-thea]

thinking about all the women whose orbits i've had to remove myself from bc they meant too much to me while i meant too little to them

#i don't talk abt this particular feeling much bc i'm not entirely convinced it's a value-neutral sort of incompatibility— #i tend to feel it's an indication of my own fundamental warping‚ that i get greedy and codependent and desperate and can't just be chill #and that it probably has something to do with the fucked-up codependent relationship model i was raised with #but it really is just like. from the high school friendship i had to drop even though i was besotted (flavor undefined) with her #bc i couldn't handle being Just One of Many Hangers-On‚ even though she said she valued and cared abt me #to the metamour i adored (flavor undefined) who supposedly valued and cared abt me too‚ but‚ like‚ not enough #to the ex-moot who remade who i really mournfully decided i couldn't re-follow bc i couldn't stop pedestalizing her #out of all proportion with the actual intimacy of our actual interactions… #idk. just feels like. very much a Recurrent Pattern for me and not a great one! #(and like. obviously the easy read here is that it was unrequited love every time; and who knows‚ maybe it was— #but it's never been obvious to me what the exact flavor of the thing was‚ just that it was sweet and tangy until eventually it stung) #anyway. i would say 'idk what even got me onto this' but actually i know exactly what got me onto this #which was: reading fic where half the pairing was aro #and like. in the fic it worked for them‚ and like‚ in life it's so often been so close to working for me! #but then the black hole of Undefined Sad Yearning inevitably starts to gape #anyway. hashtag nightblogging ig‚ lol #feelingsblogging #past lives #the psyche #(eta thinking abt it more this has also sometimes happened with trans ppl of various non-woman stripes #but in those instances i *have* just mentally filed the dynamic under (failed/abortive) romance+‚ i think #honestly very possible that's where every instance of it belongs and it's just that i don't know how to be in love with women. #like i don't identify as not-attracted-to-women‚ i'm definitely attracted to women— #'sometimes‚' i started to say‚ but like. i'm attracted to women at the same rate i'm attracted to people of other genders‚ really— #but like. societal queerphobia really does a number on you. #like. not that playing the woman's part in the cishet relationship-escalator model appeals or makes any sense for me either #but at least it's‚ idk‚ something to kick off from?? #whereas with women it's just like. a ladder into mysterious fog. how do. where go. #insane to me that i'm this old and yet this is still where i am with this. god.)

[savageday6]

.

#word vomit alert!!!!! #i love solo trips out bc i get to do whatever i like without having to make conversation with people but omg....... #this trip has evoked alarming levels of loneliness and melancholy for some reason #maybe it's got something to do with just seeing Too Many People at once... and seeing people live their lives and enjoy company #n then i see myself n while i see an independent carefree person who's at peace with herself there's also a tinge! of! melancholy n pining.. #for companionship... for easy conversations... for connections! #i was also listening to Fourever while roaming around aimlessly and when Happy started playing i immediately teared up #i think i just have too many things on my mind djskfksmmdskkd i need to get back to journaling n meditating. too much anxious energy #also during dinner i sat next to a couple who seemed to be on their first date post dating app conversation. n it reminded me of my prev rs #dkfkfnmsfndnmdm i wouldn't call it ptsd bc they were good memories but personally i would most likely never use a dating app ever again..... #it's just too much pain having to talk through icebreakers n get to know each other with the topic of Dating already looming in the bg #n it's just a lot of Work for a first date you know??? anyway i'm tired of relationships. i would love organic platonic companionship tho #like i would love more friends. just not a Partner shdkfjdndndmd #but with that said !!!! it's sometimes lonely being single. but the thing is. there's no company that i'd prefer more than my own #i bring too much joy and peace to myself that i feel like it's almost impossible for anyone to meet those standards #it's very much like that tiktok where op said her app guy asked her who his competition was and she answered: Myself. your competition is me #and that was just the truest thing i've seen #also met an unkind worker at dinner. wasn't directed at me but the energy he gave off was just so Bad that it ruined my evening KDKDJSKDK #like . how can someone be so miserable n unkind n mean to the people around him??? as if they aren't deserving of respect... it boggles me #n so todays trip has been so . strange. i felt sad! witnessed unkindness! i felt a little lonely! #i unknowingly self-reflected a lot n probably spiralled into a rumination cycle! thought abt work n how it seemed like there was No Way Out #but !! it is what it is!!!

[risingsunresistance]

wow i lost followers FAST, was it for being a deo enjoyer or because i changed my url

#''i wanna check one more thing before i go to bed'' *clicks blog tab* ''wait HOW MANY???'' #jhdkjfjd #doing what makes me happy instead of continuing to let myself be sad for the sake of keeping my tumblr friends pleased #screw that i talk about mcyt on my own terms now. otherwise it's just hypixel and whatever else i feel like yelling about 👍 #which i have said. SO MANY TIMES. but the url change really makes it ya know #i feel better about it #and i guess ppl are finally taking a hint. i am being serious when i say i'm not posting abt techno as much nowadays #it's too hard sorry idk what else to tell you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #go find someone who can deal with it better. im still halfway stuck in denial *]=+%*=]*]*{= #chat #goodnight again o/

[kittyandco]

i've been replaying kh 3 (despite not having finished it because when it released life just threw 1239893849 things at me and the horrors haven't ceased) and i'm in arendelle. almost halfway through. i want to play it. but out of spite i don't want to finish it. but i also want to fight my husband

(rambling in tags)

#i can't be too mad tho because kh means everything to me and i'm just so happy arendelle was even included at all ;w; my 2 favorite things #my personal qualms aside it could have objectively been better; it rehashes frozen too much EVEN FOR ME #i LOVEEEE sköll tho. even tho that's all we get for hans (he's a non-presence and i WISH i knew why) i LOVE HIM HE'S REALLY COOL AND EPIC #but i'm seriously disheartened by disney's deliberate attempts to act like he never existed. it was funny @ first but now i'm just sad 😭 #idc if y'all think he's lame i think some other popular disney charas are lame LMAO and i could go off abt it but i won't #the music is immaculate in that world tho of course. esp in that battle + the labyrinth #i also miss the days where disney was more of a presence in kh in general; esp the villains; and the 2 were more integrated #i've been rotating sköll in my brain because i'm cooking up an AU 😋 #meows

[beanghostprincess]

I'm still fixing some stuff before opening my kofi for writing commissions but I think I'm just gonna do One Piece fics commissions for now because I don't know if my hyperfixation on this manga has a place for me to write about other fandoms right now

#like damn op really is my whole life rn huh #i was gonna do bsd commissions too bc i don't need to be hyperfixated to write abt bsd like-- it's my fav manga #however i just don't think i have the strength mentally to do bsd fics i might end up depressed i already get sad reading that thing #it pains me honestly maybe i do open commissions for bsd someday #not that i talk about bsd in here a lot but that's because it's a very intimate thing for me and even if i'd love sharing my thoughts abt i #it just feels weird to be in the fandom??? idk i'm here making edits and looking from a distance and maybe writing a fic or two #one piece

[daz4i]

guys i'm gonna be so fr. the idea i may actually live to an old age (or even just like. 40. even 30 tbh) scares me way more than dying 👍

#my body is already so shitty and it's only gonna get worse from here lol #also i feel like. already too old for any field i actually wanna work in #(tbf acting schools here likely won't accept you if you're 25 or older so. that's a part of why i feel that way) #i kinda do hope my tests end up revealing a deadly disease and i have like a year left or smth #might actually get me to start doing things lol #i'm fine dw i'm just Thinking. i'm sad abt being alive ig. i'm not a fan #negative // #ask to tag

[mooodyblue]

tags again. ignore me 🥸

#hello venting again #i have not been doing very well #and i am very sad that i can't ever fully regress n have to just put it all into my writing #and i want a cg !!! i want to ramble abt my interests to someone n show off my pretty little pictures !!!! #and it also sucks because a few weeks ago i lost everything i used for my regression forever and starting over sucks so bad #all my plushies r gone and i only have a few now and i don't have many coloring books anymore which is the worst part of it #n i've been like ... considering joining that side of tumblr too but i rly can't be bothered to make another blog :( #i am just #vvvvvv sad #i always have to be big cuz i have to check on ppl or someone might need me for something i can never be fully tiny n i hate itttttt #n i know i need this badly right now cause my brain has not been treating me very well recently and i'm trying to not Do Bad Things #but i'm grateful for this blog cuz i can ramble abt elvie n my love for him without feeling like i'm annoying anyone but #i still feel so aloneeeee #nobody is gonna read this but if u do that's my bad #ty for listening to my vent #sometimes i have to wonder if being here is a curse or a blessing bc writing is what made me feel more comfy abt my regression but #now im sad bc i can't even be little majority of the time #ok i will stop talking now #lily.txt