#and it could have been avoided so easily

[yousaytomato]

#woes of emily #feeling so sad and stupid i hate myself #there's no way to make it right #i just hate doing things wrong so much #and this was a big thing #and it could have been avoided so easily #and I'm right to be stressed #i very likely will get a disciplinary at work for this #and the new manager is so scary and wouldn't understand #and I've never had that happen before #and i feel like I'll cry #i might even cry when i explain what happened #I'm crying right now lol #and i can't breathe<3 #and i haven't eaten for 12 hours and i have to get up in 6 and everything is too much #and it makes me think about #no wonder people end it all when they're fired. or. i dont know #i need to eat and sleep and keep going #but it's so tricky im so weak #negative

[ladycrimsonandblack]

Do you ever wonder if Oda thinks things like, 'what's the most fucked up situation I can put my little guys into', and then goes and puts his characters in exactly those kinds of situations?

#one piece #if anyone is wondering i've just read ch 1101 #i mean the whole kuma backstory is seriously fucked up #but that small detail of luffy and kuma on the same page is like seriously fucked up #all the other things were cruel too #but this could have been so easily avoided #this was added to make us suffer specifically #op spoilers #op 1101

[cradle-of-darkness]

COOKIES OF DARKNESS NATION WE ARE OFFICIALLY BACK 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

(long rambling in tags if u care)

#cookie run #licorice cookie #red velvet cookie #affogato cookie #I KNOW im late to this but i was at school ok 🙄 anyways i have a lot of thoughts #first off LICORICE UGH I MISSED HIM SO BAD IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM #his stats are so fascinating to me. i don't think anyone was expecting his strength to be that high #its pretty average but its still his best stat surprisingly #im shocked his strategy and puzzle solving are only 3. i think that's a strange decision to make them so low but I'm open to accepting it #maybe his avoidance/lack of ability to see the big picture contributes to the low scores? #his stats are so unexpected but I could get used to it. still i want an elaboration from devsis on these #i want them to show his strength in the show because i was expecting his strength to be like. 3 or 4 #but anywho. i think its very funny how affo is 0 strength. i love how its canon licorice could easily kick his ass in a fist fight #i really do love affo and im SO happy to see him with the cod fucking finally all we got with him as a cod until now was ODYSSEY 😭 #im so excited to see him work with the cod as an actual member. he's a very fun character for me #i cant wait for them to actually make him feel like one of the cookies of darkness its been over a year since he joined by now c'mon #im just so ecstatic that the cod are back. hopefully this is a good omen and will pave the way for more cod appearances soon #bcs u all know how i feel about the lack of cod for the better part of the past year. this better be their comeback i believe in them #😁😁😁😁😁😁 IM JUST SO HAPPY THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME IM SO HAPPY U HSVE NO IDEA I LITERALLY SCREAMED #btw ik crepe is there. but they're in a weird grey area of being a cod so i didn't post them BUT IM VERY HAPPY THEY'RE THERE TOO ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #♦️charlie's miscellaneous

[femmeidiot]

-

#about to cry (well actually I cried a little about to cry more) thinking about the conversations ive been avoiding having with my parents #for literally like 15 years or more at this point #and when I was a teenager I had so much anger toward them or at least towards my dad that I could have so easily cut contact #but now I've like half healed from stuff and I know I'm just gonna tear open the wound again when I talk to them #and I don't know I'm just thinking it'll hurt worse if they treat me like shit about it at this point #I can just never talk to them and keep hiding most of my life from them forever

[lgbtlunaverse]

I've talked before about how I think Jgy's specific attitude to defending his actions comes less from a genuine conviction that he's in the right or holds no responsibility and more from a knowledge that any punishment he'd be given would be more because of who his mother was than anything he actually did, and a person with more power of a "cleaner" background wouldn't be punished the same way. Why accept "consequences" for his actions when that's just a smokescreen for what people really want to punish him for. Daring to stand before them instead of knowing his place.

And if I do envision a socratic dialogue with an imaginary nie mingjue in my head, a counterpoint might be that, well yeah at first, sure. But there's a point where punishment doesn't get worse than, y'know, death. And surely at some point in canon jgy passes the threshold where, even if he wasn't the son of a sex worker, he would... "deserve to die" isn't right here because I personally don't believe in the death penalty but basically that, within the moral framework of the world of mdzs where the death penalty is universally accepted, characters would, regadless of his background, rationally agree that the just punishment was death. The moment jgy crosses this threshold, then- and I have no interest in debating when this would be- it wouldn't matter that in reality his punishment was really for something else, because it'd be virtually the same as the "just" consequences of his actions.

And what I like is that the story FORCES you to ask that question, to entertain that argument, and perhaps see the flaws in it. Because it expicitly kills jgy for something he didn't do. Huaisang couldn't have said anything, and jgy would still have been taken prisoner, and the cultivation world would still have demanded his head. He'd have been tried for his crimes and executed. The story could have done that, and everything i said above would still have been true, but you could very easily wash your hands of it and say that justice was served.

Instead Huaisang lies, and Jin Guangyao is killed for something he never did. And the story asks: does that change things? Does it matter, that he died for something he didn't do when all of his actual actions were already enough to doom him? And if it does, what else does that change? Because that has always been the case. That was always going to be the case.

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #mdzs meta #questions lan xichen will inevitably be grappling with while in seclusion #if no just punishment is possible can we punish someone at all? #And if we can't- then what? #do we tolerate the harm he has done to innocent people just to avoid harming him? #Like... innocent people who could and would not hurt him have been harmed by him. that's a fact #the sex workers he used to kill his dad. the kids in the tingshan he clan. wen civilians. the juniors he kindapped as bait. etc. #the thing is that you can't easily put him in a situation where he will never harm others and yet be safe. #because that'd either mean exposing him (and lead to afformentioned unjust punishment) #or... fundamentally changing the world and class system so he will never be unsafe and therefore choose his own safety over others' lives #yeah. good luck with that. #all of jgy's violence is reactive even if not all of it is directed at the people he is reacting to (ie: violence at his father's command) #it's just. there is no satisfying answer!! accept unjust harm done by him or unjust harm done to him. #you don't get justice. it doesn't exist in this world. #it sucks and it's great #he's so fucking doomed by the narrative

[beardedmrbean]

A man has been charged with murder after allegedly shooting dead a transgender woman who made him feel “suspicious” in the middle of receiving oral sex.

Damarean Kaylon Bible, 25, from Minneapolis was charged with second-degree murder after the deadly incident near Lake Street in the early hours of November 29. After initially denying shooting Savannah Ryan Williams, 38, he allegedly later confessed to the crime after investigators showed him surveillance footage they had gathered.

Bible reportedly met Williams in a bus shelter, who asked him if he was interested in sex, according to KSTP-TV. After accepting the offer, he claimed that he felt suspicious in the middle of receiving oral sex, and after the act was finished, his wariness lingered, court documents reveal.

READ MORE: Woman who 'performed oral sex on dog' was caught by ex-boyfriend 'at random'

Subsequently, he shot the woman in the head just “inches away” after claiming he “had to do it”. Investigators found gunshot residue in the hood of Williams’ sweatshirt. It is currently unknown why Bible felt so suspicious during the sex act.

Witnesses told cops that they heard gunshots ring from 3023 4th Avenue South at approximately 5.45am, court documents revealed. A man was spotted leaving the scene, witnesses claimed.

Bible’s identity was confirmed by apartment management after police reportedly provided a photograph of the individual.

The man was arrested, and during a phone call with his father, he allegedly admitted that he “just murdered someone”, according to cops. He reportedly added that he “knew he wasn't God, but he had to do it”.

After attaining a search warrant for Bible’s apartment, authorities found a 9mm Polymer80 handgun with no serial number, along with a .22 calibre rifle.

Bible is scheduled to make his first court appearance this afternoon (December 6) and faces up to 40 years in prison.

#nunyas news #looks like she had a warrant out too #robbery so nothing big #this is just a tragedy that could have easily been avoided #at several different points #by either party #hope he gets a very long sentence for this one

[lupismaris]

If anyone has a spare thought/fuck to give please toss it my way I'm treading the delicate path of sorting out the possible (absolutely likely) fuck ups of a former colleague and explaining to their supervisor that they allowed said fuck ups to continue for far longer than they needed to all for the sake of not wanting to ask questions

#this project costs a million dollars easily and nonone felt like asking questions about how logistics were handled. #not until the coordinator was fired and we were left picking up the pieces. my boss is handling the budget issues as delicately as she can #and im trying to handle the fact that the postage/printing/mailing problems we've been having for literal years #might all be due to the fact that said colleague who was asked to retire just couldn't provide ample time to the mailing team #so that the funds could be allotted in escrow thus requiring us to front the cash from our budget or a printers credit. #which happened almost every other project #said colleague was 22 year tenured. they should've known how to avoid this. but now their supervisor is trained for this process #and is fighting any sense of change and claiming all the errors ans embarrassments were the result of other ppl and departments #my guy the call is coming from inside the house etc #i sent a very hefty info based email to explain everything and am now waiting for his inevitable reply where he argues it all #and i have to dig my heals in and politely explain that maybe the problem was in fact his team this time #im not looking forward to that because im at my limit with the designers and publication team and i leave for maine in three days #my fucks are becoming slim to none even though i wanted a promotion out of this

[lightdancer1]

See the further irony is:

That in using 'Mall Goth Sauron' as the take on Dark Willow over 'misogynist has character randomly killed for LULZ' it also allows for greater accountability on the one hand and for Season 7 to thematically focus on repairing all this damage in the midst of facing an enemy of shadows reliant on lies to further itself. The only way to break the Druj is the absolute Truth in a very Zoroastrian sense. Characters don't get to neatly skip past accountability for their actions, and this would spiral over into further later seasons with the essential reality that in an otherwise lower-level setting this one random girl from California is a Dark Phoenix-tier reality warper and the most powerful person on the planet, or the universe.

And the questions of how that power could and should be employed on the one hand and that Willow is essentially a Doctor Strange type who beats up Gods and Eldritch Abominations for her regular line of work where her counterparts deal with the more 'street level' crises would in turn be the logical conclusion of where the show ends. She doesn't do as much physical fighting for the same reason that Stephen Strange never uses magic to go punch the Hulk in the face, her narrative role is ultimately that of Sorceress Supreme of Earth, with literally nobody in an ancient established war anticipating that this one random ginger from California was and is the new Sorceress Supreme and that if they had had such awareness the realities are that this power would and could have taken worse forms.

Unfortunately for the world, the reality too is that it is a shy computer geek who has a not at all subtle dark side and the usual teenage anxieties and insecurities given the equivalent of being able to reliably actually do things other people might dream of but can never do.

But again as long as Dawn Summers being a good thing is a narrative convention that's established memory magic is a poor choice to show the corrupting effects of reality-warping. It's a case of 'yes as established in canon all of this is true for that one season but then they decided to retcon it, so the fans are not obligated to care about it any more than the canon does about this itself.'

#willow rosenberg #tara maclay #dawn summers #you will never convince me as long as Dawn Summers is a plot device that 'memory magic unforgivable' is anything but bad writing #it was the choice used but there are other equally toxic things that could have been done instead #the basic theme of 'very powerful person decides things for another in an abusive fashion' works just as well without it #Tara's growth arc in refusing to tolerate abuse even from the person who brought her out of her shell can stand perfectly fine #it works even better with a budding Sauron than abruptly deciding 'wholesale memory rewrites good retail unforgivable.' #killing Tara off also denies her any sense of closure or ability to get that closure with the person who does this #the entire element here with the way things went down is bad writing from Point A to point Z #and it's also easily forgotten but Tara wasn't in fact intended to be Willow's love interest #she was replacement Willow for sympathy points #her entire arc as such became Willow X Tara but it was a choice from actor chemistry #So in giving Tara a role besides 'Willow's Girlfriend' it arguably does better by her character #tara x willow #btvs #and yes yes the 'scale changes things' argument is true but only to a point #it's really no different to introduce Dawn than what Willow did #if the retail is wrong so is the wholesale and the decisions to make this that point of no return is an avoidable mistake #plus honestly imagine a Season 7 Tara going 'sweetie no' and a Season 7 Willow dealing with those consequences in real time #equally one can have Tara's cold turkey approach stick exactly as it was #and serve as her role in the time bomb because she's a product of an abusive family and not an infallible moral guide #she rightly sees the problem and at least tries to address it when nobody else did #but unfortunately her solution was pouring gasoline on the fire and then vacating the range where the fire would burn #still further between that and Willow being human enough to resent being told to take that pain and do it going it alone #there'd be plenty of reasons for a surviving Tara and Willow to spend season 7 broken up as is #Tara would not at all be wrong to be wary and not want to touch reformed Sauron with a 400 foot pole #Willow equally would resent someone whose bad advice helped create the problem and who evades any recognition thereof #good old fashioned drama with entirely human motives

[alicepao13]

Pretty sure Peter Mitchell is laughing from somewhere right now. The guy was the only one who made an effort not to have a disjointed mess of a show, and as soon as he leaves, it's like new season new show AGAIN.

I mean look, I didn't like the absence of Charlie and Rex whump when he was in charge but I also won't like the absence of Charah if it comes down to that. Which, in my humble opinion, seems to be getting a reduced time this season, but I don't think they'll break them up. I might be wrong. Again, personal opinion until I am proven either right or wrong.

#hudson and rex #listen I don't like making so many posts about this either lol #but this could have easily been avoided with a charah scene so whose fault is it really #I mean if they're together they have to have a scene #if they aren't they also have to have a scene where they break up #this is how it works on television goddammit

[bangthedoldrums]

the watcher situation has me so captivated. it's a trainwreck I can't look away from.

#my love for internet drama vs the loss of one of my comfort channels.... #it has me in a chokehold i cant stop #also its just a pr nightmare that so so easily could have been avoid with just a LITTLE more thought #courtney rambles

[hoperays-song]

Be Specific

Buster, showing up at Rosita’s door at midnight: Rosita, I screwed up. Big time.

Rosita, sighing: Buster, hermano, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

#sing #sing 2 #sing buster #sing rosita #buster moon #buster is chaos incarnate #this man is made up of bad ideas and chaos #so many bad ideas #both movies's problems could have been easily avoided but no #buster had an idea

[dq1]

thinking again

#feel like i have become too complacent with watering myself down into an easily digestible identify for society #partially bc of my career is very conservative.. so #no piercings or tattoos. cut my long hair off to a mens hairstyle. i pass exclusively as a cis straight man as much as i can #especially around the old head bosses i meat #stopped learning japanese even though im mixed so i could learn French because its more useful where i live #i dont want to be useful and i dont want to be seen as some creature mimicking human anatomy like a robot i just want 2 be myself #but ive been doing this so long idk who myself would even be anymore #sometimes i get into old interests i had as a kid and i feel that spark like that 12 yr old didnt die on the inside but then its gone again #i wish a version of myself thats not palatable to my peers could exist #i want to relearn japanese and i want to ride motorcycles and i want to get into certain types of music or clothes #but it also feels like none of it really matters anymore at the same time #if i could be anything i would be a funeral director in nagoya but thats something that can never happen #i shove everything i like down so deep you have to reach to find it #this whole blog is an amalgamation of who i was and who i wished i could be #but being human we r just cursed with bodies that dont feel like our own and having to cut and shape them in a way #that u feel better but not enough so that the people around you are frightened #this is mostly the fact i have avoidant personality disorder and i know i can never be what normal is for most people #i want 2 be myself but myself died somewhere in a past life i think #i am not even human on the inside. half the time i joke w people that im an rpg slime or the human version of those sponge slimes #hence my nickname irl literally being gelo / jello / jelly #and if not that then black German shepherd dogs r also literally just me #but alas i am stuck in a human body #one thats too fat too hairy too sick too broken and i have to deal with it and rebuild myself everyday so people aren't uncomfortable #ANYWAY!!! maybe ill add onto this later ...idk. #to be born again.. sighs.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

having a lot of thoughts about how people use 'normalize' when they mean 'destigmatize' or 'make the nature of into common knowledge,' and how they conflate 'the perception of this thing as normal' with the thing actually being a normal occurrence, and how it is in fact incredibly harmful to try to convince people that an ideal situation is normal when that does not map onto their lived reality or the dangers they need to be aware of to avoid. it is 3:33am though so writing up an actual poast about it will have to wait for later

#whosebaby talks #this post brought to you by 'spreading awareness of what an abusive relationship is and looks like compared to a nonabusive relationship' #'is fantastic and i support it fully and think it's deeply important. giving people the false idea that abusive relationships are uncommon' #'and are flukes that go against the grain of society functioning as it normally does; is insanely dangerous to people who are potential #targets; and incredibly alienating and isolating and cruel to people who have already been targets' #'in uniquely awful ways depending on whether they're already aware of that or aren't. don't fucking do that' #it applies much more broadly than that; but it's an instance i think about A Lot and it's what led me to this line of thought to start with #there's also 'normal does not mean good and saying so has incredibly unbelievably harmful implications keep that shit out of your mouth' #but that is so obvious it boggles my mind that it has to be explained to anyone on this site; and it is talked about often enough #that i would rather focus on the parts i don't really see talked about much; if at all #also like the fact that 'statistically average' normal vs 'things are functioning as they usually do' is a critically important distinction #they are closely related and interplay heavily with each other but they are Not the Same Thing #and how 'normal' can refer to different layers and aspects of a subject--people with rare health conditions are not statistically average #and that by itself is fine. and those people having conditions that are disruptive to the usual functioning of a space or system #is avoidable in some cases by establishing as much infrastructure as possible to integrate their more common needs smoothly #and unavoidable in others; which means the normal functioning of a system/space that accommodates people with unexpected needs #has to account *for its normal functioning being disrupted sometimes* #and bend around that disruption without either breaking down or rolling right over the disabled people who Cause Problems #and at the same time 'rare health condition' gets applied to health conditions that are not rare *at all* to not only justify not bothering #to make the system integrate their needs in general when it could do so easily; but make it so that accommodating their needs anyway puts #immense and unnecessary strain on the system; so there is zero margin for anything you didn't specifically fight tooth and nail for already #anyway it's a really extensive subject and a fascinating one. for later. sleep now #abuse cw #ableism cw #the salt files #is there a name for that tag

[howyouducan]

If Jennifer Hepler hated the character of Anders so much, why was she writing him

#i mean this genuinely #i can't get over how she has said that she based how she wrote him off of her (bipolar) ex boyfriend #if she hated Anders so much she projected all that. why was she allowed to put words in his mouth #i feel like shitty writing / ableism could have been easily avoidable here #dragon age 2 #da2 #here's to hoping that Dreadwolf has learned its lesson #because I know that Inquisition did not. (it did better but still apparently did not screen people before handing out roles)

[fayeandknight]

Forte was almost attacked this past weekend.

I sat on it for a few days because everything I wanted to say was fueled by panic and rage. Justified imho, but not really helpful. Now that I'm calmer here is what I need people who bring their pet places they shouldn't to know. Especially people who think that their dog is well behaved so what's the harm.

Forte is training to be my service dog and that grants him access to non pet friendly places when we are training.

A big part of his training is teaching him to ignore distractions, including other dogs. If he is distracted, he's not focused on me and can miss an important cue to start tasking. And this training is built on trust. I have spent no small amount of time teaching him to ignore dogs, even ones that walk right past his nose, because nothing is going to come of it.

The incident happened while I was in the check out aisle with Forte in a down beside me. A woman and her dog slowly passed by the aisle and she smiled at me but said nothing. Her dog was walking calmly with her so I did nothing. Then she made a sharp turn towards us. I said no loudly and held up my hand to signal her to stop.

She continued to smile and bring her dog closer. I was so stunned I was slow to react. When her dog was inches from Forte's face it lunged forward and snapped it's jaws. I grabbed Forte's harness and yanked him behind me. He let out a startled bark and only then did her dog start growling and barking. She continued to smile at me while she dragged her dog away.

Forte stayed in his down even when this dog tried to get in his face because I have repeatedly told him it's fine. He trusted me that it was safe to stay where he was. And if I'd have been a hair slower in grabbing him...

I need my service dog in training to succeed because without a service dog my disabilities close doors on much of what most people take for granted. And for us to succeed as a team Forte has to trust that he's safe while working.

This woman almost ruined it all by taking her pet dog to a store that it had no business being in. It doesn't matter that her dog can heel through a store or not react until it's about to attack. But it does matter that her brining her pet and trying to have it interact with my SDiT nearly cost me my lifeline.

Service Dogs take, on average, two years to fully train. Their training costs roughly 40 to 50 thousand dollars. It's not a small investment. It is not simple to start over if a dog has to be washed from work. And being attacked by pets is one of the biggest reasons a dog either washes from training or has to be retired early.

So please, double and triple check before bringing your dog to a store that it's actually pet friendly. Don't encourage or allow your dog to approach other dogs without explicit consent from the handler. You have no idea what your mistakes can cost someone else.

Just please.

#dogblr #forte #belgian tervuren #service dog in training #sdit #i don't know if any of this makes sense #honestly I'm still really heated #at work he's still fine with ignoring other dogs #but he saw a dog on the far end of the parking lot at the mall today wouldn't stop staring at it #i could tell he was stressed #he's was happily playing tug with me and then fixated on the dog #it's going to take time to work through #and i will do so with love and kindness because nearly being attacked must have been so scary for him #but I'm still mad #because this setback could have been very easily avoided if this woman thought beyond her own nose

[airenyah]

Sex scenes don't bother me as much as kiss scenes. When the characters are making out in a way that indicates it will lead to sex, I'd scream at the screen "Just take off your pants and start grinding under the covers already!" because I cannot watch them mash their mouths together for another second.

That being said, I'm not a huge fan of sex scenes because firstly—I can't take the movements seriously, and if there's sound effects, there's also a high chance of me laughing. Secondly, the squishiness of the human body is another thing I can't take seriously. When I first watched the Only Friends trailer, and I saw that scene where Sand thumbs Ray's tattoo, I thought it was a butt tattoo because of the way the skin bounced in slow-motion, but no, it's actually a hip tattoo; the human skin is just that springy on every part of the body. While everyone was going crazy because of the tattoo-touch, I'm laughing because the bounce was so pronounced.

Basically, kiss scenes ick me out while sex scenes are comedy.

omg that sounds like such a fun way to experience sex scenes tho!! i wish my reaction was more like that rather than convulsion. i'd much rather experience a comedy show tbh dfjkkdgj

also interesting point you bring up about the human body being so squishy. i never really thought about it but yeah. human bodies are just so weird?????? actually, only the other week i was talking with another friend (who's likely also ace-spec) about just how humans (and tbh even animals) will just have things dangling from them?? whether it be genitalia or boobs or whatever. like, those body parts are just... hanging there?? and technically even your arms but at least you can control those. meanwhile my boobs will just bounce depening on what movements i make and i can't control them and they're just hanging from my chest while i go about my life. like, why?? i want dog boobs where you mostly have just the nipples and they only really get big when i have an actual child to feed (i know human breasts also swell when they fill with milk during a pregnancy, but why do i have to have two balls of meat hanging from my chest even when i'm not pregnant?? who thought of this design??). coming back to your point of the human body being so squishy and actually yeah, i'm realizing now that i can't take it seriously when people talk about how hot boobs are precicely because boobs are so squishy and also so wobbly and just. how is this not funny to people? dkdfjdjfk

and lmao i remember everyone going crazy over the tattoo!!!!! i realized right away that it's on the hip but maybe that was bc i remembered the placement of it from the eclipse. which is also why that scene didn't make me laugh, i was actually too busy trying to read what it said bc in the eclipse we never got to see that tattoo up close enough in order to be able to read it. so while everyone was freaking out i was just sitting in my corner like "omg so the tattoo says 'beautiful'???" i'd been wondering about it for a year ever since the eclipse, so i was just excited to finally know what it says bc i'm a nosy ass bitch lmao

anyway, i love hearing about your experiences. it's so fascinating how varied the ace experience can be and how specific things affect everyone differently. and i think it's also cool to hear what things other ace people pick up/focus on while the allosexuals are busy drooling over whatever is happening on screen dkjkdkjg

the kissing... idk, i can't tell you why it doesn't actually bother me that much or why i might even enjoy it. although i do have to say, the act of kissing does look extremely weird. sometimes (usually during longer kiss/make-out scenes) i'll be sitting there and suddenly it'll hit me that "actually kissing looks SO strange, whose idea was it for kissing to be a thing??"

sometimes in my head the kissing just conjurs up the image of a fish opening and closing it's mouth, like so:

except, you know, kissing involves two people so in reality it's more like:

#i hope you don't mind that i'm publishing this on my blog again! #i'm just thinking it might be interesting for other people as well to read about our varied experiences #do let me know if you want me to go private (or just hop straight into my dms <3) #asks #actually a random memory popped into my head while i was writing this #remember how in my other reply i said kiss scenes sometimes bore me? #actually in the first and only relationship i've been in i actually would sometimes pretend to be asleep #(even though i struggle with sleeping and can fall asleep during the day ONLY when i'm sick or under a serious lack of sleep) #i pretended to be asleep to avoid my then-bf turning the cuddling session into a make-out session #bc making-out just bored me so much as an activity lmao #(it didn't necesserily bother me or gross me out but yeah i just thought it was insanely boring) #(i still went along with it the way you'd sit through your friend's fave movie even tho you personally find it super dull) #(bc i didn't have the heart to tell him i wasn't all that into it dkfjkdg) #(actually he once made a comment how ''the two of us couldn't go a day without kissing each other!!'' and out loud i agreed #but in my head i was like ''oh i EASILY could 🤭🤭🤭'') #(again i didn't say the truth bc he was a really sweet guy and i just didn't want him to feel upset at my lack of enthusiasm about him) #to this day i have no idea if the guy was the problem bc i didn't have strong enough feelings for it or if it was bc of my asexuality #i didn't know about asexuality back then but if i'd known i might have figured it out right then and there that i was ace lmao #(it took another 2 years until i got there)