#and it's so interesting to watch this in hindsight

[misty--nights]

So I'm watching the show yet again (usually I struggle watching shows, I don't know how I've managed to watch it twice already and still want to watch it a third time), and here are some things that I've noticed in episode 1, after the read more because it got longer than expected.

Charles calls himself the brawn and the protector of the two, but it's Edwin who goes all serious and says "I would not let that happen" when Charles asks what they'd do if Death came for them. I'm sure/concerned that he'd try to fight her if she ever came to take them...

Edwin knits!! When they are wearing their disgusses to get the demon out of Crystal he knitts while Charles reads the newspaper. Granted, you can only see him doing for a short moment, so I don't know if he's doing it properly, but I like to think he is. I have many thoughts about this, but it would take over the whole post. I'm still willing to make a whole post for it if anyone is interested but yeah. Bottom line is, Edwin can knitt!

The tone of voice that Crystal uses when she first wakes up in the Agency and in her walk with Charles is really different to the tone she uses the rest of the season. In hindsight, it's pretty obvious that is her mean girl tone, but still, I just think it's a nice detail.

Edwin takes Crystal's coffee cup when she takes the mail? We've just stablished he's not going to drink it, so is he just being petty? Is he going to throw it away or hide it just to be a nuisance? Is he investigating what she got? This boy, I swear...

I know people have pointed out all the Clue boards in the closet, but there's also a ouija board there? Hilarious. Maybe some ghosts prefer communicating with that instead of speaking? Or Charles got it because he thought it was funny and then never got rid of it?

I like that the thing that convinces Edwin to take the Becky Aspen case is Charles asking if he's going to let a little girl die. But more importantly, the title card right after that says "three flights". I've had this question for a bit, but what do they do during those flights? Do the boys spend those just standing in the hallway next to Crystal's seat? Do they sit in the cockpit? Do they hide in the bathroom until someone comes to use it? Do they hope for empty seats they can use? I don't know, every possible version of their trip is so funny to me. I know ghosts don't get tired like alive people, but the idea of them just standing awkwardly off to the side for more than 10 hours is hilarious.

No big detail here, I just love Crystal's purple coat thing she wears in this episode. Never really noticed that it has like flowers embroidered at the bottom, and the color of the whole thing is so nice.

"Maybe he's our fucking demon now." Crystal I love you, that is one of the funniest lines in the episode. I also really like that she gets to be angry and scared. Even if later Jenny talks her down from the worst it, it's not her anger that she points out, it's the fact that people are just like that and how the boys act is nothing personal. Her anger is not directly attacked (except by Edwin, but that's just him being petty), because she gets to be angry about all that's happening to her.

The flashback to Edwin's life at St. Hilarion's changes the video aspect (is that the proper term for that? It makes the screen square like in older films is what I mean.) Also he card for that flasback specifies "Edwardian England" even while having the date at the bottom. I don't know, it made me chuckle that they felt the need to clarify the era even while having the date there. They don't put "modern day England" for Crystal's flashback.

With the way the cat reacted to the sardine, I'm willing to bet he would have told Edwin everything without the binding spell if Edwin had a few more fish for him.

When they're talking behind the shop and Crystal says she gets angry, Charles looks down and takes a bit to respond. I think this is the first time he relates to her. The first time he can call that pull twards her something more than mere attraction. He has this very vulnerable look when she says it and then immediately shows her his parents and tells her something he's never told anyone before? This boy saw his anger in someone else and thought maybe it's fine for him to be angry too.

Is it a trick of the light in the scene where she meets Niko, or does Crystal have a septum piercing?

"If you're sticking around, you gotta let us in." Charles, I love you, but you are the last person who should be saying this. Specially after that sad look he gets when Crystal says it must be hard not being able to talk or hug his parents. You just agreed to what she said, as if that were the truth of why you check on them, what do you mean "you gotta let us in"? (I do get that they haven't known each other for long so he's not going to open up about all his trauma, but precisely because of that, it's wild for him to expect her to do it.)

I never noticed Charles quickly returning the mirror to normal when Edwin comes. I'd noticed the audio cue for the mirror changing back, but I never noticed Charles moving to do it and he looks so panicked about it.

Considering how Edwin is about touch, the fact that he lets Crystal take his hand when she tells the that the case matters is huge.

Why are they planning down at the shop when they have Crystal's room all to themselves? Besides the ambiance, of course. I think Jenny's reaction is completely justified.

Esther leaves her turntable on when she goes to the post office. Is it for Monty? The atmosphere? Did she just forget?

Not a new discovery, just a reminder of something I really like. There's this very specific editing thing (like the quick cuts between the instruments and then the opened lock, I don't know what to call it) that they do pretty much every time Charles picks a lock / opens a door, and it makes me very happy each time. The sound they use for it is perfection.

Edwin's attention to detail is insane. The fact that he can recall one cupboard is further forward than it was in the plans is really impressive.

Charles sounds so done when he throws the magic backpack. "Put her in the bag-of-tricks backpack." Man, I can hear the eye roll in that sentence. Good to know Edwin isn't the only bitchy one in this relationship.

And that's it for episode 1. I think I might do this for the others as well as I watch them. It was really fun to do, and it forces me to pay attention to the details, so I think it's worthwhile.

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #charles rowland #crystal palace #jenny green #esther finch #niko sasaki #my writing

[kinardsevan]

sorry, but I've got another one 🤣🤣🤣

Just watching the tour scene again (had to look up the spot a screenshot came from), and watching it from Evan's POV instead of Tommy's, hindsight being what it is and all.

It's so damn cute watching him fall over himself, trying to find a way to keep this man talking to him and engage him on a personal level. Like the ways in which you can tell he isn't necessarily trying to talk about himself, but Tommy kinda just keeps bringing the conversation back around because he's also interested.

I just thought that was cute.

#bucktommy #kinley #tevan #buck bothered and bewildered

[justsigma-bsd]

Everything Seems Small (From High Up)

Basically what happened after Sigma left the note and before Chuuya showed up.

Also me trying my hand at a different writing style-

TW for survivors guilt (I think), implied/mentioned starvation (it's small but there), a lot of injuries being mentioned and their causes.

@fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency may I perhaps interest you in seeing the aftermath of "lost one son to save another"? (ngl it would've probably happened anyway)

He doesn't remember how he managed to get there. The entire way is a blur. He doesn't remember how he managed to climb down, just that he somehow managed to slide down the gutter without falling.

In hindsight, he's more surprised he managed to hold on. His hand and arm ached from the effort of carrying his own weight, which the whole incident had reduced by quite a bit, but he barely cared. He just prayed that neither stab nor bite opened, and went on his way. 

Sure, both are wrapped tightly in bandages, along with pretty much most of his limbs, leaving pretty much all of the bites and stabs and cuts he'd endured hidden from prying eyes, but it'd be a pain to rewrap them all again... and he doesn't want to bother Chuuya with this. 

It's his own fault anyway, he dug his own grave, and now he may as well lie in it. 

His legs ached all the way, but he barely paid it any mind. He just walked and walked and walked, until he barely even knew where he turned left and where he turned right. He just had his destination in mind.

And his legs still ache, an hour later, when he's finally sitting where he'd wanted to go. 

He stares down, and for a moment he remembers falling from Sky Casino. Remembers the terror of thinking he'd die. Remembers the air whipping past his face, howling in his ears as if he'd been caught in a hurricane.

His legs, aching and stinging from bites that hopefully haven't started bleeding again, dangle down over the edge. He fidgets with his hands, plays around with the bandages wrapped around one of them. The bite underneath hurts as well. 

Everything hurts, if he's honest with himself. 

His legs hurt, courtesy of the dogs who'd dug their fangs into his flesh. 

His hand hurts, from when another dog bit it and dragged him back into his room- back to Mori. 

His face and arm and leg hurt from the cuts and stabs Other Kris had left on him. 

His knee hurts, and he can't remember that one clearly, but he thinks a bullet grazed it. 

His back hurts, from when he'd fallen down the stairs.  

His throat hurts, and he wishes desperately for the bruises to fade so he can stop wearing turtlenecks. 

He lets out a sigh and watches the city. From so high up, everything looks so... small. Insignificant. He knows his friends are down there. His family. His love... yet part of him think that maybe, just maybe, they'd be better off if he stayed here. 

He'd left a note. Granted, a very vague note, but he did... god, who was he kidding? Everyone's a mess right now. Everyone's in various stages of grief and dealing with it better or worse. Everyone's mourning, and what is he doing? Running from his problems. 

He lets out a breath, tears gathering in his eyes. 

It's his fault they're mourning. What was it that Fukuzawa had said? Ah, right. He'd sent Dazai to get him out. He'd weighed his options and lost one son to save another. 

He feels like screaming. Like crying. Throwing something, breaking something, tearing something apart and crying over that as well. 

It's his fault, start to finish. 

He'd started all of this with petty revenge that had been entirely pointless, and to what has it led? To Dazai dying. 

Fukuzawa should've made the right call. He should've left him to rot instead of sending help. He wasn't worth another's life. Hell, he isn't even an actual person- just some writing on a page. 

Karma was right. He's useless. He's useless and incompetent and he still doesn't know the reason- but he can see why he'd hate him. He wonders, silently, how many people hate him and are just too polite to say it to his face. 

It should've been him who died. Would've been better for everyone... or no, scratch that. He really just should've stayed in the desert. Less pain and suffering for everyone involved. He should've stayed away after Meursault, at the very least. 

... well, too late to prevent that mistake from happening. 

So he sits, high up above the city, and watches. Watches while everything looks so small and distant insignificant, and he silently wonders why he ever thought he could be a part of that without ruining it. 

#ada sigma #bsd rp blog #sigma bsd #ooc post #bsd rp #bungou stray dogs #fanfic #short story #angst #survivor guilt #this probably makes barely any sense if you didn't watch the whole Mori-situation go down #and i love that i might confuse some people with this

[mollywauk]

I remember the entire fandom exploding about this fight and let me just say Fjord is the only one who comes out clean. Everyone else is an asshole and I love it.

Beau is being belligerent on purpose, she has good points that normally would appeal to Caleb and Nott, "don't do something that will fuck me over when we've agreed to throw our lot in together". But also she has major trust issues and she's been clashing with Caleb for days now so the vitriol which is fueling her argument seems disproportionate out of context. Molly is actually being way worse than Beau but since he isn't played by Marisha (public enemy number one for no reason that I know of other than she's a woman who doest censor herself?) he got a pass.

But Molly's coming down hard on this situation because it violates his carny moral code and the carnival is quite literal his brief but entire life. When you work in a group, you protect the interests of the group first and then your own a close second. But that distinction matters. And he's tried to get this across to them before, so this is strike 2 in his mind. Also he can't help but throw in that little "you're not nearly as smart as you think you are" barb after Nott's speech which is funny because Nott actually has really high intelligence and I'm pretty sure her impassioned defense of Caleb rankled him because of his own feeling of being the odd one out in the group now that Yasha is gone again.

Jester is staying relatively quiet, I feel like she doesn't want to upset anyone so she isn't speaking up, but also I feel like Laura isn't speaking up because she's registered that this situation has pinged some of the other characters personalities and she knows that Jester isn't one of them. Also she keeps trying to remind Nott that she has helped her and Caleb, I think Nott disregarding her because the comment was aimed at Beau and Molly more than anyone else may have hurt her feelings but also Jester would definitely be the most cut up about potentially dropping Nott and Caleb because at this point she's the only one who has made any sort of attempt to befriend them.

Fjord is doing the most here. His is the only argument that is coming from a place of calm. Which isn't to say that Beau and Molly aren't valid but they're lashing out to get a reaction and have a fight not to sort an issue out. When he pulled that sword on Caleb it wasn't because he was snapping in the moment, it was a calculated ploy to bring Caleb back in line because he has noticed that Caleb's personal goals can put the rest of them at risk. He was checking him back into the task at hand. And now, that it's time to talk about it, that's what he wants to do; talk. Both Beau and Molly want to get their point across too but Fjord's the only one who listens in return.

Nott is par for par for righteous fury but I like her more in this moment so I want to take her side. Simple bias on my part.

And Liam is sitting there grinning the whole time because he started the fire and now he gets to sit back and watch it burn without having to be tempered by Caleb's own agenda.

#like yeah I feel the tension #but I get where all the characters are coming from #and it's so interesting to watch this in hindsight #knowing what we know now #about Beau and why she had such rigid defense mechanisms #about why Caleb craves advancement in his magic #about Molly's whole shtick being five lies in a gaudy coat held together by one or two intense convictions #even Jester's anxiety about people liking her and this being a friend group to her when it's a travelling crew for everyone else #cr2 rewatch #cr2 #meta #cr2ep13 #cr2 spoilers #I love Marisha and I'm so glad I wasn't here for the hate #the mighty nein #caleb widogast #nott the brave #fjord #jester lavorre #mollymauk tealeaf #beauregard lionett

[auriidae]

i found this really old comic i made and never posted here?? there is a superb dearth of context i am aware but (chucks this in your general direction anyway)

(this was from an au based off a weird dream i had a while ago ??? it was like. they were normal human kids but they somehow got into this strange video game slash simulation or smth which SOUNDS like sburb but it was way different trust me. i wrote a ton abt it for months and then never thought about it again. n e ways.)

#homestuck #homestuck fanart #terezi pyrope #karkat vantas #kanaya maryam #tavros nitram #doodles #hs #i Guess #in hindsight these designs still freaking RULE #i was super super proud of this when i made it (almost a year ago now?? whoa) but so nervous to show anyone hjfsh #i shared it in a discord server with some of my friends and i was literally shaking + in tears etc etc. so i never posted it here kekw #ive gotten better with that stuff now tho !! i rlly want to share some of my new & old au ideas i was too scared to before because ive been #-looking back on some of the old ones and writing some new ones and they're kind of awesome #also i used to have suuuuch fun drawing these guys i should totally get back into doing that. i haven't drawn a homestuck troll in (checks- #-the tiny watch i wear on my wrist at all times) approximately 827462 days. hm. interesting #anyways :3 i don;t know if anyone will care abt this now but that's ok w me

[booasaur]

NCIS: Hawai’i - 2x05

#ncishawaiiedit #ncis hawai'i #lucy tara #kate whistler #yasmine al bustami #tori anderson #ncis hawai'i 2x05 #kate x lucy #kacy #femslash related stuff #in hindsight knowing what they're both thinking this is so fun and interesting to watch #since it was originally released as a sneak peek so we got a couple days' viewing and wondering how things would shake out #but you can see how both are eager to broach the moving in together convo but both afraid to be the first one #kate especially goes from confident and smug in being able to place every little lucy wants and practically reading her mind #to confused and wary at not knowing something so large and assuming there's a reason for it--that lucy doesn't want her to know #WE know that lucy didn't because she didn't want to pressure kate but kate's now just thinking there was a reason #but still that second last gif lol it almost came out #you can see that little throat swallow as she finally makes the decision to not go there #also #really loved that little work gym and you line from lucy

[astranauticus]

not sure if this counts as an AU but.. thinking about the Per Aspera crew as horror game bosses like.. you are wandering through a forested mountain range and you know somethings wrong because the forest shouldn't be this eerily silent, this devoid of life, and then you hear the crash of falling trees and there is a hand that is half your size glowing golden in the night and it is grabbing you and its claws are digging into your flesh and you see the spines running down the golden arm that is far too long as it lifts you over a crater in mountain, over a coiled, serpentine thing with a visage that is not of this world, and if you look closely you can see the shape of a child curled at the centre of the thing, golden hair reflecting the glow of the creature and if you listen closely you can hear her sobbing, 'Don't hurt me, I don't want to do this'. you are sailing through the astral sea when you see an ephemeral, resplendent spelljammer cutting through the starry waters and you rejoice because you have been lost on the seas for so so long, so you board the ship looking for help, supplies, anything, and you are greeted by a blue fire genasi (you wonder, do those even exist? but you can't get off the ship now because where else will you go?) and she tells you she is the captain of this ship but as far as you can tell there is no crew on board, and if she is not appearing right behind you from a trapdoor you've never noticed she is always in the engine room 'fixing the ship' even though the ship seems to be sailing perfectly fine ('Where are we going?' you ask her once and she doesn't even turn to look at you, 'Don't worry about it') and if you are ever so unlucky as to damage the ship in any way, you begin to catch flashes of red and orange out of the corner of your eye, a fire genasi wearing the woman's face who whispers at you with hollow, angry eyes 'Don't you fucking dare hurt my ship'. you are sailing through the astral sea when you see a rotting, decaying spelljammer, so badly damaged it's barely moving although you have to wonder how it's even staying afloat at all, and out of some morbid curiosity you climb on board and the deck of the ship is in no better shape than the hull, the marks of hard-fought battle - scars in the wood from sharp blades and arcane energies, stains of blood and oil splattered about - still fresh but you know time doesn't pass on the astral sea so who knows how long ago this all took place, and as you climb below decks you start to notice the writings on the walls, pieces of parchment nailed to every surface and connected with fraying, rotting threads, or words etched directly into the wood, the deep gouges barely readable, and you start to hear the creaking and clanking of rusted machinery slowly moving about and you turn a corner to see a figure standing in a room facing the wall, slowly scratching yet more of that unintelligible writing into the bones of the ship, and it turns as the rusted dented mechanite stares at you with eyes ablaze and he asks 'Who are you? Where is my crew?' as sparks of arcane lightning begins to arc through the room. you are running through a feywild forest and you know, even without the figure chasing you, that you have made a horrible mistake, you should have known better, should have been more careful, should have kept your impulses in check, and now you are being chased through an unfamiliar forest and the figure, the Hunter pursuing you knows this realm like the back of his hand, knows every tree and shrub and vine that is slithering up to grasp at your ankles, and you glance back desperately to catch any glimpse of your pursuer but there is no pursuer, he has hidden himself with some arcane trick or some innate power or just the knowledge that this realm is his home, and you hear his voice even though you cannot see him as he cries out 'You should not have hurt my family. Prepare to face the Hunter of Hundkiln'

sorry no Vhas yet maybe I'll update with one for him once we get more of his whole deal

#rolling with difficulty #asto speaks #well i lied only kyana's and finbar's really work as video game bossfights #dani's is more... horror short story? vr-la's is horror comic #bc dani's much more psychological and the environmental storytelling of vr-la's one would be pretty interesting.. probably #in hindsight vr-la's reads like it could be a magnus archive entry LMAO #contrary to whatever you may think (especially if youre in the discord) i dont actually like most horror #like i've only listened to abt ~10 episodes of tma bc it started fucking up my sleep thats how much of a wuss i am #like i dont actually *enjoy* horror but idk i had so much fun writing this. for some reason #hell i dont even enjoy *writing* most of the time #all the others are kinda based on a specific scenario like kyana's is if she never left the cenobium and suvi snapped before she did #(if you've watched/read jjk0 video game bossfight suvi is very much just orimoto rika) #vr-la's and finbar's are pretty self evident #dani's is kinda.. inspired by alfonso of the stultifera navis making this my second rwd brainworm that's just an arknights reference #captains that are cursed to haunt their empty ships plagued with has beens and could have beens #(her one is the only one absolutely not meant to be read as literal btw its a very 'that house has been empty for 40 years' kinda vibe) #found it kinda funny that dani's and vrla's start in very similar ways bc they both kinda have that i am the ship and the ship is me thing #dani's vibe in this is just more illusions and delusions and vrla's is more decaying forgotten grief #a ghost of a mechanite haunting a corpse of a ship

[straykats]

tbh like. we dont have enough time. i know this isn't new and unheard of but we really don't have time. like. i need to go to school and i need to work and i need to eat but where is my time to cook and enjoy it? where is my time to enjoy the things i need to do? i want to cook and read and write and paint and i want to sew but i want to enjoy it; i don't want to have to do it because i need to survive, because if i hone the skill/s, i can make money off of it. i want to do it and not need to meet expectations other than mine. i want to do it for fun and because i love it and i want to do it for the people i love and i don't want them to feel like they should repay me or anything. i want to do alterations for you because i love you. i want to tailor clothes for you, make them for you because i love you and i love creating things. i want to write something for you not to prove to anyone that i can write but because i want to show you that i will create for you. i don't want to do things for others to validate my own actions. i dont want to do it so i can be told that i'm good at it and/or that i should make a career, a side hustle out of it. i just wanna do it for funsies fr

#kat talks #literally gonna go insane #im writing a review for an assignment and im doing it on the dress i made #but like. in hindsight a lot of the reactions i got were like #wow this is so good you should do this as a side job #or like wow this is such a good lifeskill to have #yeah both are true and relevant in this day and age but like. i had so much fun making it and i barely get to talk about that at all #idk if this is a cohesive post man i just want to scream #i also don't wanna do my review on my dress anymore idk who i chose it #but too late i cbb changing and restarting #i also talk about atla in this HAHA bc katara says 'what does being a girl have to do with sewing' and i actually watched that ep while i #was sewing and find it an interesting thing to have happened #okay anyways back to my assignment sigh

[svtskneecaps]

thank you for bearing with my purgatory posting and i'm also glad to see i'm not the only one who still has this fungus eating away at my brain matter. seeing other purgatory posting in the tag makes me feel better lmfao.

i'm not done btw, posting will (probably) continue as i revisit vods. wanted to extend a thanks in the interim, since i know how contentious the event was in the moment. i kinda thought the general consensus was most people hated thinking about it, but there's been a weird amount of engagement and yknow other people talking. makes me happy to know i'm not alone here!

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #shut up vic #block game brainrot #it also provides me the opportunity to get a new perspective on some moments as well #like watching the jaiden spawnkilling thing the first time i missed some nuance in bbh's tone when he offered to walk her to her body #rewatching i heard them :D #i'll probably rewatch his conversation with slime from the same day at some point to refresh my perspective on that #but i think i'll wait on that; that convo makes me super biased lmfao #i'm aware of my biases at least :D and dw i won't bring old discourse back #tbh i never rly posted discourse much to begin with? just that one list and analysis of time stamps LMFAO #but yea i won't be bringing that back to the tag even if it's back in my brain #i PINKY SWEAR; i'm not one to start fights on posts or blogs that aren't mine #i block and then if i REALLY have something to say i shittalk them into my bathroom mirror #bc i know neither of us are gonna snitch >:D #long tags #it's also nice to look at with the benefit of hindsight and reflection #bc i know everything that happened; i was there watching it live #bolas are unreliable narrators #i'll probably see about going through some of the other team's povs as well just to see #it's interesting is all! and i finally have the time to sink my teeth into it properly #since we aren't having to keep up with like six streams a day #it's been so long sinve this server took a proper breather i'm appreciating it for all it's worth #((yes i wish the circumstances were better but they aren't; we take what we can get lmao)) #ok anyway love u byeeeeeeee purgatory posting will probably continue #i'll tag as appropriately as i can; lmk if there are further tags i should add #i prefer people don't block Me if they hate these; i'll make u a tag to block if u ask i promise <3

[onesourceofbadinformation]

it is october 31 2011. i am ten years old and in the fifth grade. the whole school is getting their swine flu vaccination. they take us to the nurse's office in groups of 10–15. because of this, it is very difficult to get any real work done. the fifth-grade teachers elect to not attempt to teach anything and simply watch a movie during the scheduled vaccination times. we gather in one room. one teacher (not mine) is wearing a superman costume (it is halloween). it is rumored that "you can see mister j's butt crack" and "it's gross." we sit on the floor. i sit at the very back of the room. all three teachers are behind me. the projection begins. we are watching back to the future. groups of 10–15 file out of the room every 20 minutes. now, a crucial detail: my parents have not given their permission for me to receive the h1n1 immunization. i am ten and assume they know what they are doing. this means that i am the only fifth-grader in my school to watch the entirety of back to the future on october 31, 2011. which turns out to be great, because it is the greatest movie i have ever watched in my life up until that point.

i do not know why they picked back to the future. i assume they all had positive memories of watching it when they were all roughly ten years old. there are probably 30 uses of "damn," "shit," "hell," "bastard," etc. when the first curse word drops roughly ten minutes in, the room explodes in laughter. i hear all three teachers suck in their breath. this continues for the next ninety minutes. you may recall that the plot of back to the future is essentially marty mcfly's mother being so horny for her own son due to time travel shenanigans. you may recall that there is an attempted rape scene. the teachers continue to be horrified. the classroom of seventy fifth-graders is losing their minds. i am enthralled. the score is the greatest thing i have ever heard. every emotional beat works for me. christopher lloyd is, as far as i am concerned, giving an oscar-worthy performance (i still hold this opinion today). the clock tower scene paralyzes me with excitement. it is just. there's no way to say this without it sounding cliché but it is a magical experience. it is an instructive experience in the magic of The Movies.

#and it is also interesting to me that this movie came just a couple months before i got so scared watching charlie and the chocolate factory #that i consequently became scared of watching any new movies for a year or so (because they might also be scary) #so it kind of came just at the right time #magical day. sorry about my parents choice though in hindsight i probably should have missed 20 minutes of bttf to get vaccinated

[thegirlisuedtobe]

Hi there! First thank you always for translating the Rebecca interviews they are really fun and interesting to read. Seeing some of your comments you made about the Korean Dannys views on romance/homosexuality I was curious. When I first read the novel which was a long time ago, my interpretation of Danny and Rebecca’s relationship was 50/50 maybe really lovers but could also just be some type of non-romantic attachment. After watching the Korean production I feel that there’s a stronger implication of them being lovers. Some Rebecca fandom friends that I know are on the skeptical side I guess about them being real lovers so this is a topic that interests me. I was curious do you think you would’ve still thought of Danny and Rebecca as lovers if it wasn’t for the Korean production/Ock Joohyun? Really wanted to know your thoughts about that! Actlly I want to think of them as lovers but like if asked to defend why I think they’re lovers I’m not sure I’d personally be able support my view properly with evidence or anything since I’m not the good at analysis type etc haha. I hope this makes sense? Thx

Tbh it's kind of hard to say I feel that way 100% with no bias but,,,

(lol under the read more bc i ended up rambling)

Actually, the way I got into Rebecca was I discovered joo hyuns performance > i read the wiki > i watched a subtitled version of the german performance > I watched the Korean production > then I read the book > then I translated the Korean script further and read interviews.

Joo Hyun's performance was only just her singing the Rebecca long reprise at the top of act two, it wasn't really a song that incredibly showcased her interpretation or feelings towards the dynamic between rebecca and danny. when I read the wiki I was already thinking danny and rebecca sounded gay as hell and even watching the albeit reserved german production i felt like the specific situation that danny was found it alluded to that lover dynamic. like im a lesbian LOL so I kind of immediately went hey theres another lesbian right there. When it came to how maxim talked about rebecca it only further cemented in my mind that rebecca was also a lesbian. so like even from the german production, i felt that rebecca and danny were lesbians and had something together. now whether that something was balanced is another story, but i deff in my heart knew that they were some kind of secret lovers.

i don;t think in my mind that i ever had any doubt that rebecca and danny had some kind of more than mistress and servant relationship, and i dont think that i ever doubted that it was ever one sided. idk i just felt it in my gut. But i also moved on from the german production quite quickly when i got a copy of the rebecca production. that initial feeling of theyre lesbians really bloomed into oh they really loved each other when i got to the korean production and joo hyunie was pulling out all the stops. like the way she was acting,,, there was this palpable sense of love, the kind of love that felt equal. i've also talked about this before in one of my review essays (on my writing blog) but i think the contrast of her age against the older german dannys did a lot of work to bring that love closer to "lovers" and a more balanced dynamic imo.

i remember talking to a german rebecca fan and they talked a lot about doing a lot of contextualising and rationalising, trying to bend the script into a way that danny and rebecca were something in a mutual sense. i remember being really confused about that. like they had to put a lot of mental energy into rationalising that they were "mutual lovers" whereas it felt innate to me that they were.

Re: the age contrast. When I finally got to reading the book as well, in my mind i thought danny and rebecca grew up together as children (the line where danny has been with rebecca since she was young). also please note that i'm asian so like cultural aspects of rebecca flew over my head at times, but when i read it thats what i thought that line meant. but i talked to a european rebecca friend of mine and they said danny is referred to as governess and usually theyd be at least like 20 so when danny says she was with rebecca since childhood she meant in an overseeing kind of way; child and carer relationship. me not knowing that cultural thing impacted the balance i saw in their relationship which is why its also interesting that a lot of the korean dannys felt the same way i felt.

i haven't read the korean translation of rebecca so i dont know how they translate that cultural aspect/line but joo hyun, shin young sook, jang eun ah and kim sun young as i have just discovered all thought that danny grew up with rebecca. that her mother was rebecca's nanny and because of their close proximity grew up together. even before reading the interviews where these dannys said that, i also thought that was the case. so maybe its a culture thing?

but because of that, the relationship felt balanced enough that i felt like it was mutual. compounded by the more emotive ways that joo hyunie was expressing just how much she loved rebecca, it felt like a no brainer to me that they loved each other exclusively. sure rebecca was out and about having sex, but it wasnt sex out of love, it felt like sex out of fun or a habitual need, it felt like it meant entirely nothing to her. ergo her "love" (the kind beyond just physical sex) was only for danny. ive always felt very certain of that.

i think your feeling of not being able to defend danny and rebecca mutual relationship is understandable. there's so much ambiguity in the original text that its difficult to say that this thing points directly to this, or lots of lines could mean different things to different people. i'm always the opinion of rebecca is a mirror and depending on what themes or ideas or messages that u pick up, it's really just a reflection of what u want to see most. now whether i agree with another person's image of rebecca through that mirror is an entirely differnt matter, but i can't help but feel that way with danny and rebecca. its like,,, all i can say is, have you looked at them?? dont they seem that way to you??

lol im sure if i put my head into it i could make an essay to "prove" that theyre in a mutual relationship, and i know theres plently of evidence that i could pick out, but the gut feeling has been there from the start!

#lmao not sure if this was entirely helpful to u at all since its really just a gut feeling #but ik that gut feeling isnt like a delusion either it exists i just dont have it in me to pick out concrete evidence rn #also i strongly feel this way mostly just to the korean production #i feel like the book wants to have a discussion more than just danny and rebecca if theyre mutual or not #i really like the ambiguity of rebecca the novel as a whole so im not really of the mind the try bending over backwards proving their #relationship in that either #i think it only features so prominently in the musical because of what themes they picked out of the book to create a musical narrative #if u asked me to watch the german productions and based on their performance if it was mutual or not i wouldnt be so quick to say yes it wa #mutual as i would with the korean production now that i have hindsight lmao #actually theres smth interesting about all these adaptions and productions and how that relates to that are they mutuall lovers question #that i would like to talk about but i think this is getting long as it is #generally speaking i do think theyre mutuall in love but for different iterations i think that degree shifts between mildly disagree to #110% strongly agree #illa answers #rebecca #rebecca das musical #rebecca korea

[waywardsalt]

Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.

Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!

the answer ended up being really long lol

Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...

Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)

other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.

there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.

nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.

the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.

honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.

now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.

honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.

i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.

other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.

yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.

#asks #zeldanamikaze #salty talks #i think for media to really fuck me up there has to be some kind of intense emotional aspect to it or have some specific visual stuff #my enjoying of berserk is proof that it takes specific stuff to really get to me. the way i tested if id be fine reading berserk is so #fucked in hindsight. i straight up looked up the two most infamous eclipse chapters online and read them to make sure id be fine #what the fuck. i just dove in head first fucking god #anyways yeah. like berserk is generally fine for me but cowboy bebop episode 20 did have me a lil fucked up. its so good #ive been looking more into horror stuff recently and i have a lot of respect for (well-executed) horror games like damn. i wanna play #silent hill 2 so bad. it's a really interesting genre when pulled off effectively on a level deeper than just 'oh look at this scary thing' #anyways. i recently watched mononoke and its not really horror just kinda unsettling. its so fucking good #tbh tho there are some fanfics ive read that did actually fuck me up (which is why i kinda have an aversion to angst) #but i didnt want to talk abt those bc i dont want to name names or anything. theyre good fics they just affected me pretty negatively #generally its more like. freaky irl things that fuck me up but thats not fun to talk about its just like. depressing #sorry it took so long to reply to this i hadnt really sat down to write it or anything an just. couldnt think of much lol #anyways ig bottom line is that its more likely for non-horror stuff to fuck me up? or its gotta be specific stuff idk #i played a few hours of portal 1 at a friends house years ago and for some reason it creeped me out a whole lot #strangely enough i dont think scooby doo mystery incorporated fucked me up when i first watched it #i think there was like 1 episode that scared me more than the rest but it was never too bad #and that show is regarded as likely the most actually scary scooby thing. its rlly good #im pretty sure scooby doo was my first (or one of my first) special interest #also (similarly) i dont really get nightmares too often my dreams are just kinda really weird most of the time #i did actually have like. a scary dream recently but i dont know if id fully call it a nightmare

[vaugarde]

one thing i like a lot about team rocket not being in every single episode now is that whenever theres a “mystery episode” where we gotta figure out where a pokemon or an item went, it doesnt default to team rocket being the culprit, so the mysteries are less predictable and repetitive

#honestly i dont think you appreciate team rocket trio not being in some episodes until you watch the episodes in order #and literally every single episode is the same general plot of them doing the exact same thing over and over #which like…. ik its an advertising show and it doesnt need to be deep and varied but good god its exhausting #(and its weirder bc the plot is serialized so ur obviously supposed to follow along and watch each episode? #you can pick out plot episodes in hindsight ofc but if u watch while its airing u just get a lot of duds #man im thinking abt how weird pokeani is now. i dont know is this is a genre of show even #bc other video game animes are way more streamlined #and even other long running anime have small arcs to justify the length #and popularity #and other long shows that dont do that are status quo comedies that dont have a serialized narrative like spongebob #and those also dont have 120+ episodes per season #the more i think about it the weirder pokeani is. i don’t necessarily mean this in a bad way #but its weird to think about. and interesting #also im probably missing some other show idk. like ik one piece is over 1000 episodes long too #but iirc thats a serialized show as well so idk #echoed voice

[ikeameatballspoisonedme]

Played a bit of Omori cuz Steam sale. JUMPSCARE. Very intriguing so far and I enjoyed it! But fixation meter... kinda low chance. This isn't my next Gorillaz or P3P or Disco Elysium I fear.... And that's okay :D still looks like a great game so far!! I'm still in the part where Basil went missing so plz don't spoil me

#I mean the characters so far are fine #No one really grabbed me but they're serviceable #They'll saving the interesting bit at later probably. Maybe Mari fuckin kills Basil or something idk #The irl part of the game creeps me out. I closed my eyes at Mari jumpscare #I am going to play DE to cleanse my fear... or just watch KOTH.... #UPDATE: okay I was searching for the clip and uh. I have been spoiled of Mari's actual whereabouts #Well that's fine. In hindsight it is pretty obvious #Jumpscare is a fucking MECHANIC in this game. There:s a wiki page for it????? #Bruhhhhh 49 jumpscares I can't do this

[greenvillainredemption]

I’m watching moderngurlz’ video on the 90s/00s disney sequels, and Quasimodo’s sequel love interest literally looks like me omg. And the outfit is so similar to the one I designed for my self insert icon. I’m losing it.

#my words #disney #just give her a bigger nose and lose the red lipstick and she’s literally me #ok that’s a lie I wear lipstick once in a while #good for Quasimodo getting a gf btw. I saw the original like once and was so shook that Esmeralda wasn’t the love interest #which in hindsight is refreshing to see a female character not be The Love Interest #though she still is one for the other guy but yknow he’s not the mc #I need to watch it again lol

[shedidntevenswear]

its just soooooo interesting to watch how, with every new project, her entire discography is recontextualized and seen in a new light not just by her fans but by HER too. different pieces of art are going to mean something different to you at different stages of your life, and its just really cool to see that is true for the artist herself as well. it doesnt discount what a song meant or what it was about when it was written: it can both transport you back to how you felt at the time AND give you clarity on how you ended up where you currently are and the challenges you were blind to then that seem obvious in hindsight. both can be, and are, true and completely valid. its just endlessly intriguing to watch her be in constant conversation with her younger selves, and by virtue of having grown up with her, doing so myself.

#taylor swift #came back to tag because i realize i just said her #like the whole internet will know who im talking about lol