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sygol · 3 months

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If one of my exes is convinced I was trying to abuse them, and that a lot of my actions were out of malice and I was trying to corner them into doing worse things. But from my point of view I had genuinely really good intentions and was mostly just confused and just trying to ask for what I wanted and needed in a relationship, and was upset when the things they promised me never happened (I felt I was asking for very reasonable things from them too). I can't say I was perfect, or that my conflict resolution skills are what I wish they were. I overreacted a lot and struggled to bring things up in a timely or effective manner. And I'm heartbroken still that I hurt someone I cared about without realizing it. But does the fact that they felt abused mean more than my efforts to have made things good for them and myself? I hate having "abuser" be something I feel I am now. And I do my absolute best to never let it happen again. But I still can't feel it was unfair to be labeled it in the first place. And I also feel as though I'll take responsibility for how I acted, but the label feels as though they won't take responsibility for how they acted. It felt so bad-faith reading of my actions and like my hurt from their actions always got turned around on me. Like I'd struggle to talk to people in public, and they'd read it as me trying to ostricise them from their friends and refusing to make efforts to meet other people? That just doesn't feel fair? I'm just awkward and didn't get along with those people but I really wanted to? Regardless I'm mostly sad to have made someone feel like they were being taken advantage of. I really cared abt them and still do but idk how I got to this position.

based on what youve told me here, i do not think you are an "abuser", or even that you "abused" them, you are not defined by the labels others place upon you, this is merely their perception; not some sort of truth.

it seems like your ex was not ready/able/willing to effectively communicate and foster a healthy relationship with you, and it seems like they let you down with empty promises, i cant exactly know this based on limited information, but speculating: your ex is probably traumatized and wrongfully projecting their fears/insecurities onto your behavior. i think they either lack fundamental understanding of who you are as a person OR is taking advantage of what they know about you to make you feel bad, the root of this is they probably dont know how to realize or address their own issues, so they are lashing out, deciding it is the fault of others.

usually when we are talking about relationships its not so much about "whos fault is it more" and moreso "are you able to share a connection" which the answer at this place & point in time seems to be: no.

i think that clearly it was not your intention to affect them like this, and if anything seems to be their own blindness rather than your actual behavior. i would advise absolving yourself of this guilt, please move on from this and learn from it to try to better connect with others who are more willing to bridge the gap with you

#asks

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cowboyjen68 · 1 year

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Hi Jen, please forgive me if this sounds deranged. I understand if you don't reply, but I don't know any older women like me to go to for advice. Also, please disregard this if i forget to press anon (paranoid lol)

I never thought I wanted kids, my fiancé says she doesn't (sometimes she says things that make me think otherwise, but im going to say she doesn't because I have to take her at her word)

The thing is that recently it's been more and more in my head. Im in my early 30s so I don't know if it's a biological clock thing, I know I should say it to her but im not sure if I should either because I don't want to cause problems in our relationship, but also I don't even know if I understand how I feel about it (this is made worse by the fact that, while we live in the same city, we have temporarily had to live apart for financial reasons while saving for a mortgage)

The thing is, I feel like I'm starting to really want kids, which I know I should say to her

But

I feel like I only want kids with her if that makes sense? If I was with anyone else, I wouldn't want to

I'm not even sure if I actually want kids at all. It's more like (sorry if this is gross or anything). i have this increasing... need for want of a better word? To have with her what straight people have, I wish I could get pregnant by her somehow, I wish I could make a person who is made of me and of her, this makes me feel guilty and pained and confused (just to clarify this is not sexual confusion, I am and have always been exclusively same-sex attracted) I guess I just am at the point where I love her so much that I want something that I can't have, im not sure whether I actually want kids or whether it's some hormonal thing but (I know this sounds weird) i3 guess I wish I could express our love in that way? But I'm kind of in my feelings and confused about it, I dont know where to start or whether to tell her or what I would even say to her about it. Also most of my friends are either younger (wouldn't get it) or straight (and it would be humiliating to me to go to them over something that they could do without a second thought)

Anyway, i thought I'd come here because I know you have a lot more experience than me, and i was wondering what you would do in my position

I am one of those moms who never wanted kids. I am a realist and understood from a pretty young age that kids are a pain in the ass. They are expensive, a lifelong commitment, noisy, unpredictable and invasive. I was raised around nephews and nieces and younger cousins .I saw women my age get pregnant in high school. I grew up in the 80’s where half the “After School Specials” were about the hardships of teen pregnancy and a fair amount of books for teen girls and sitcoms aimed at my demographic featured young women having and raising unplanned kids. I very clearly saw the writing on the wall and wanted NO part of it. I wanted MY LIFE to be mine.

I have 5 kids all adopted from foster care and the truth is I didn’t want ANY Of them. I stated in my dating profile that kids were a deal breaker. I communicated over the course of my second relationship that kids were of negative interest to me and my life. My mind never changed and in all truth I just got tired of saying no and we became foster parents. MY ex loved the “IDEA” of being a parent but not the actual work. I understood this about her which was one reason I pushed back for years before giving in and agreeing. I know, based on my parents and my siblings I would be a decent mom, I just didn’t want to be. My kids are all grown except my 17 year old. They are 25, 25, 26 and 23. I have a pretty good relationship with them. My oldest daughter has a daughter who is 21 months. I am not a wonderful grandma. I work all the time and we live hours apart. I am focused on my life and home and future because for a 17 year marriage I neglected it. My kids all know I was a reluctant parent because we have a very open and honest relationship.

Parenting with my ex was horrible. I worked two jobs, budgeted, did the majority of the homework, bedtime ritual, morning prep and house work and I spent years being exhausted. I partially stayed with her because until the final adoption we could not legally be married so I had NO legal right to the older 4 and was not about to abandon them to my wife.

I am telling you this background so you understand that I have a unique and possibly skewed perspective about parenting as a lesbian. It is totally normal to be unsure about wanting kids. I would say most straight people also go back and forth between the emotional idea of having kids as an extension of love and of a good use of their compatibility and partnership, to have and raise a happy, healthy child (ren) AND knowing the stress of money, unpredictable times, and the fact that, no matter how great parents are , kids are people and they very quickly for their own idea, personalities and who KNOWS what can happen given those facts. The difference is just that lesbians can’t accidentally become parents so we have to either overcome the fear and want the kids more than we don’t OR stay childless. Many great parents did not get there with careful planning, just one day they are thrust into the role and step up to the task.

My advice is to keep talking to your partner about your thoughts." I think I might want kids” is not the same and “WE MUST have kids or I won’t be happy”. Communicate your confusion and insecurities about it and also the good things you see about becoming parents. I highly suggest volunteering for Big Brother Big Sisters, or even getting a foster care respite license. When you do respite you are essentially babysitting kids so adoptive and foster parents can get a break. These kids can be everything from charming and sweet to struggling with mental illness and trauma (which is why it requires training).. You can get a lot of fulfillment, experience and learning moments plus you are giving exhausted caretakers a break. Offer to babysit a friend's kids. See if the local Girl Scout needs volunteers, A lot of nature centers run kids summer programs or weekend programs like birthday parties and always need volunteers. Consider taking some childhood or first time parent classes. All of this is to give you a well rounded perspective of how kids can be, which is sometimes awful but very often wonderful and sweet and even when they are misbehaving you can feel joy in watching these tiny people learn and grow.

You are correct about the idea of biological children vs adoption. They are not the same. I know a lot of people want to believe that they are exactly the same connection and bond but in my experience that is a lie people often tell themselves. The fact is, parenting a child that is not biological does take a little more effort to bond and connect. Eventually it strengthens and can be wonderful but it is unique. Not better or worse, just different. My kids were all older, 4, 7, 8, 10, and 16 when they came into my life so they were already established in personality and habits and world view so it took time to align with each other. We are now all more like friends than a parent/child relationship but perhaps that just happens with age and maturity. Adoption is by far cheaper with more available resources (through foster care) than using a sperm bank or asking a friend to donate so one of you can be pregnant but each couple needs to weigh what works for them.

I would suggest putting off major discussions until you can see each other but if not, do it over zoom or facetime so you can see each other’s expressions and have a nuanced conversation. I would not make any major purchases like a house until you are settled a bit and you both are at least on the same page with kids. That page might be neither of you are sure yet or that you both think it should wait until life is less up in the air to decide together. If you land solidly in the “i must have kids” camp and she says “NO”, you might have your answer. Then you must decide between letting go of the need for kids or moving on from the relationship. The worst thing you can do is push someone who is expressing that they don’t want kids into having kids. This is a bad deal.

I know this is a lot. Kids are a big deal to both the relationship and to the kids who are brought into that relationship, no matter now that happens. I wish you the best and I hope, together, you can talk it out and get some clarity.

#lesbians #parenting #adoption #kids #lesbian parents #marriage

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doyouevenshipbr0 · 2 months

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another live action ATLA rant. who’s shocked.

so im seeing a lot of ppl saying things defending the show, and whatever, fine. i agree with some. this show is NOT all bad. not even close.

the one defense i CANNOT get behind is “the people that dont like it are mad they made changes and mad its not a complete copy of the original”. do not get me wrong, i am completely aware that i (and many others) had a bias coming into this. everyone loves the original show. so many of us are very protective and dont want to see changes, bc why change something that was perfect to begin with.

however, no fucking shit they were gonna make changes. duh. wtf would be the point of this if they werent gonna change ANYTHING.

just bc i/other people don’t like some of the changes, that doesn’t mean we dont have valid critiques and were just mad at the idea of any types of changes.

i, and many other people, really enjoyed some of the changes. everyone loves the kiyoshi addition. ive seen people praising the zuko saving his crew plot line (and i completely agree). from what ive seen, most people like that azula is in the show already (ive seen people hating on her actress tho which is 1 nuts bc she did an awesome job and 2 stemming from misogyny/pedophilia but thats besides the point). everyone loves the scene w lu ten’s funeral (personally i dont care for this one bc i think the show was showing iroh’s cards way too early. they clearly know hes a fan fav and they wanted to show the best of him from the very start. which i dont think is fair to his character.)

but anyways, point is, there were a handful of things this adaptation changed that people really like!!! me included!!!!!!!!

so when i see stuff like “people are being pessimistic and miserable and hating on the fact that its not exactly the same” (paraphrasing) i get so frustrated bc that is SO not true. im not just looking to hate something.

ur telling me, if u didnt watch the show beforehand, u wouldn’t have thought that omashu episode was a fucking mess? like genuinely. try ur hardest to think about this show as a standalone piece of work, like u suggest all the haters should do, and think about that episode. u would be so confused by the whirlwind of seemingly pointless character/plot dumping. like teo and his dad, jet and the freedom fighters, bumi, and the cave of two lovers stuff? why in gods name would alllllll of that be going on at one time? like that is just one example of the changes being messy. but when u have prior knowledge of the show, ur like “oh! thats jet! yeah i know him.” but in the context of the new show he is so removed from everything other than katara and has like 6 mins of screen time, and his presence feels so forced and near pointless (ok yeah he helped katara w her bending for like a sec).

yes i am a hater, but im not gonna hate the show (which i rly dont hate the show anyways) just for the fact that there is change!

but yes i am gonna hate when they changed something and the change is worse, or illogical, or messy, or pointless. which a LOT of these changes were.

#personal #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla live action #avatar #live action atla #avatar live action #avatar the last airbender live action

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waywardsalt · 11 months

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im actually going to tear into totk’s dragon’s tears/ memories rn bc i remember feeling distinctly unsatisfied with them when i got all of them so im just going to write some general bullet points about them, about what i dislike or maybe what i do actually like about them, leaving out both master sword scenes and the mummydorf one because i’m here to talk about the stuff in the past not that

- off the bat (i play this game in english btw so all of this is based on the english text and translation i am aware some stuff is slightly different in other languages) im not really a fan of how the descriptions of all of the tears is just a literal description of what happens?? i think my issue with it is that some of the text is a little bit too in depth, as in it just tells you literally everything about the scene. this might be nitpick-y but i personally dont like it

- what’s up with zelda saying ‘but that must mean...!’ at the end of the scene. is it suggesting that she’s made the realization that rauru and sonia are the first king and queen of hyrule? because they literally tell her that like ten seconds before. i guess it’s suggesting she’s realizing she’s in the past but... idk the texts says ‘she’s left startled by a suspicion that she’s heard those names before’ yeah theyre the first king and queen of hyrule?? they tell her that. they tell her their names and that they are the first leaders of hyrule is she just now connecting the dots that she’s in the past? that’s what the next cutscene implies. but all of the surrounding dialogue and the description don’t suggest that that’s what she’s realizing i feel like this was kind of muddled in the translation

- why did sonia elbow rauru he was just standing weird he didnt say anything this isnt a nitpick im just confused. is it because he’s not being very empathetic towards what zelda’s going through? she elbows him and then she goes and talks to zelda why even elbow rauru. ordinarily you elbow someone like that if you mean for them to go do something why elbow someone if you’re going to do the thing you want anyways

- why doesnt zelda offer to help with the purah pad or anything like that. what happened to her sheikah tech fascination from botw. not even as someone actually familiar with the technology who could give mineru some points as to how it works

- what are sonia and zelda doing behind rauru when he shoots that insane fucking beam at the mulduga swarm they’re clearly doing something with their stones but like... are they amplifying rauru’s power somehow?? what do time powers have to do with the beam of light i dont- what were they doing please the text description only mentions him using his powers so are sonia and zelda just... supporting his powers? idk man

- dragon tear #5 is a whole can of worms with its worse-than-oot reenactment of that one scene from oot. why the focus on sonia and her tear btw. i mean yeah she dies to motivate rauru and zelda but like. why not aim for the new girl who probably doesn’t know how to use it as much and is probably more likely to be separate from the king who can shot insane lasers. im really not a fan of this scene for how strongly the game sides with rauru and zelda being passive and judgemental but ganondorf is literally the best part of it there’s a lot of character in just how he picks up his sword and stands up to leave

- putting memories 6 and 7 together just because of how there was just. no fucking care put into the idea of zelda learning to use her time powers. memory 6 zelda talks about wanting to use her time powers and sonia gives her tips on how she could use it and visualize the use of it and then in memory 7 she can just use it perfectly with great control and timing. why even bother talking about her nothing yet understanding how to use it when the very next scene she just uses it like it’s nothing. how much time has passed we get nothing to show us zelda trying to practice this power just. nope. she’s good she can use it perfectly. also more awkward dialogue sonia saying ‘what a picture zelda paints of him’ as she is. looking directly at zelda. change the line to like, ‘what a picture you paint of him’ she is literally looking right at zelda so why would she say it like that

- generally i feel like memory six should have been before 4 and 5 (4 being where she uses some power to... support??? rauru and it being before memory 5 so that there isnt this weird break in between the memories concerning ganondorf.) memory 6 does not have anything to do with memory 4 or 5 so just put it earlier so there isnt a weird shift in focus between the two big ganondorf scenes

- good god they introduce the idea of sonia and zelda being aware of ganondorf using a fake zelda but theres literally nothing about it having been a problem or them having experience or like. anything. they just TELL you that they know and suggest that it’s been like. a thing for a bit??? also obligatory ganondorf’s face model rigging is fucked comment he’s still the best part

- the pacing of these memories is just weird in general, memories 7 and 8 being separate but the same scene is strange when other memories are long as fuck but cover one event each, plus theres clearly barely any passage of time between memories 7 and 8 it almost feels like they were split up to fill space or just because otherwise it’d be... too long? man idk

- ‘queen sonia needs you!’ girl she is DEAD good fucking luck doing anything to help her

- ganondorf’s horse and its armor both look sick as fuck i really wish you got to see more of it outside the memory it appears in

- everything about the original sages honestly sucks. they aren’t characters they’re just walking macguffins. they have no names and are not relevant or mentioned or make any appearance until they are needed by the story. why does the zora sage talk about getting word about the attacked gerudo village in this scene when like. they’ve all met up and have clearly. been together for a bit. when she gives them the news it’s clearly the first they’ve heard of it... but... why would she wait until this moments to give this info unless for the benefit of the player watching the scene. why does the ZORA sage have this news and not... the gerudo sage?? what’s with the masks. they’re all made of zonaite or whatever sure theyre gifts from rauru but like. i hate that it kind of denotes them being subservient and lower than him and the zonai. honestly i really hate this scene in general mostly because of the uncomfortable showing of how rauru absolutely holds power over them and despite them being leaders as well they are expected to be wholly blindly loyal to him. rauru only gives them these stones when he needs their aid and they swear loyalty too him soon after but you also see that sonia and mineru have stones, too, so they’re clearly withholding these things despite it being kind of reasonable for him to give each race their own secret stone as further proof of their pact? there is so much shit to be said about the imperialistic themes or whatever in this fucking story and i really hate it

- i do kinda like how the next scene shows you that the one rock in the corner of that first hidden room in the forgotten temple is sonia’s grave

- zelda’s phrasing and description of how she and link found ganondorf is weird to me ‘he’s still alive’ ‘he lives on’ girl that was a mummy. he was not moving until you got there. he’s undead at best as far as you know. this is def a nitpick but eh. also the reliance on link is a... bit odd when zelda does not actually know that link is safe until she gets the master sword. its fine but still. also her shell-shocked expression after rauru talks about her being in the past for a reason is a bit... it doesn’t fit her emotion it’s kind of similar to the expression she had when sonia was killed

- the memory about the imprisoning war starts with practically the whole story up until now being repeated back to you by mineru with a decent amount of bias on mineru’s part and while it’s fine because of some of the extra stuff you learn but it does a lot more telling rather than showing when it comes to the actual imprisoning war and... idk the whole thing about their ‘fight’ kind of falls flat when you don’t actually see any fighting you just see that the sages have gotten their asses beat. i think it would have been a little interesting if in the god-awful repetitive sage-awakening scenes they had actually showed you the og sages fighting ganondorf instead of just. slow-mo freeze-frames for whatever. once again ganondorf if the best part of the scene

- the rest of the memories are fine idc

i get the feeling that the japanese-to-english translation was either all-around rough or somehow rushed, because some of the phrases in the game as well as some of the dialogue is really awkward and... could have been better. i don’t know how it works but it feels like a lot of it was very literal, direct translation and no one at noa thought that it ought to be tweaked just a little bit

these memories also do a fuck-ton of telling rather than showing and it really is like they don’t really trust you to connect the dots, and some of it does come off like they either didn’t want to make more memories or ran out of time or something. i felt like the memory of ganondorf just summoning his monsters and riding on his cool horse could have been a bit longer to actually show us the forces of hyrule fighting him and having a hard time with it

a lot of the character animations doesn’t have a whole lot of personality to them, ganondorf is the character who had the most distinct and interesting movements. rauru and sonia had their... singular movement (rauru putting a hand to his chin and sonia taking zelda’s hands) and zelda was kind of just... standing around and reacting to stuff, and neither mineru nor any of the other sages had any really interesting animations asides from mineru’s coughing fit in memory 16 (plus her reclining chair that was a nice touch). very few of their movements really express anything about the characters besides some really baseline values or traits.

the ordering of some memories is kind of odd, the excessive flashbacks in memory 17 are a bit much, the telling rather than showing, the sometimes awkward dialogue, a lot of the scenes are characters just... talking at each other, you don’t actually see very much of hyrule in the past or any characters beyond the main four, and it really did nothing to actually get me to care about these characters at all.

tldr i dont like totk’s dragon tears

#i didnt want to revisit this game but the memories in totk bother me. once im done with this tho i can go read my new volumes of berserk #salty talks #loz #legend of zelda #totk #literally the narrative of this game dragged the rest of the game through mud for me so im going to complain abt it more #any time i wanted to rewatch a part of a scene i have to sit through a few minutes of bullshit just to get to the point.#these things are so long and barely anything happens in them #half of these cutscenes are just characters standing around and talking theres so little actual character to most of the character movements #ganondorf has the most emotive and distinct movements in all of these scenes #they have the most personality and you get the most variety. with rauru and sonia its just. shes gentle n motherly hes uhhhh arrogant king #honest to god. i miss linebeck. i miss the way he was animated and the sheer amount of personality they gave him in every cutscene #fuck man i miss botw's memories. despite them being shorter (i'm pretty sure) i feel like there was more essence to them. more character #listen. i understand that gamedev is hard and so is writing and animating but like. this game is seventy fucking dollars.#despite him being so disappointingly one-note. ganondorf was the most interesting fucking character in these memories #finding the dragon's tears was fun but actually watching them was lame af #hey remember those posts i made about ph's cutscenes? maybe its the autism but i feel like i couldnt write those paragraphs abt totk #ig just. ph is my special interest and i have a negative bias against totk. if you think im dead wrong about this stuff go ahead.#i dont blame anyone for taking my words with a grain of salt. come to your own conclusions. if oyu like totk's memories cool!#anyways im done bye im gonna read berserk. which actually has a nuanced story and world and characters and a multi-faceted villain #totk spoilers #bitching abt totk

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kob131 · 4 months

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This an half attempt to answer your quiestion, but you are by no means pressured to read it as it is just too long.

Now that i actually sit and think about it a bit more, I think i shouldnt have called them trait, rather the Impact that having a fucked up parent such as morgan had on them. Im sorry that i cant exactly point it out but i will try my best.

Even gawain who is a geniunely good person, can be too persistent as it seems and im pretty sure morgan was a pro in that regard. Gawain is a good person but he can be a bit fucked up too.

agravain is the one who hates morgan's guts the most while still not being able to completley able to escape the Impact she had on him. Being raised by morgan literally messed the dude up. Seeing morgan's probable short temper in agravain wasnt that hard for me. When he hates someone, the hatred is quite deep whether you even did something wrong or not. The "i hate women" line, while being extremly memeable, does imply that morgan definitely isnt the best female parental figure someone could have.

For mordred..... Oh boy, being isolated and having morgan as the only consistent influencial figure outside of your idol who didnt even know you exist , she was really unlucky. Mordred has a short temper which seems to be the easiest to point out.

We dont Know anything about gaheris *dramatic sobbing* outside of the fact that he is probebly the tallest among the five of them.

Either gareth was too young to remember her, or her brothers and lancelot's influence washed out any possible fucked upness. I would say the Impact the orkneys had on eachother did matter even if it isnt really brought up.

No no, I love reading.

I can see how Gawain's stubborness could have come from Morgan, given that both of their actions in the end did more harm than good.

Yeah, Agravain does seem to share Morgan's vindictiveness and fury. Kind of ironic considering he hates women in part because of Morgan's actions while he perpetuates those actions.

And...it might actually be worse for Mordred. A key part of Mordred's conflict is her inability to define herself (her Bond 10 Craft Essence is literally named 'Who Am I?') and a key aspect to Morgan is that her life is split in three to her three different roles. Three different parts of herself she likely could never reconcile between them.

I've said it once and I'll say it again- Mordred is probably the one person who could fully understand her mother.

Though, it's not like Gareth's personality is entirely separate from Morgan. Agravain may have ended up with issues but Gawain ended up as a pretty upstanding if stubborn guy. And remember Gawain's the ELDEST of the Orkney so logically he was exposed to Morgan the most. For him to have grown up that well adjusted, Morgan had to have been a good mother at some point. And it's said she also acted as a good sister/motherly figure to Arturia before finding out the full truth. Gareth's personality could very well be a reflection of who Morgan was before things fell apart.

But yeah, the Orkney siblings most certainly do affect each other quite a bit. Gawain is said to be the closest with Gareth, Agravain doesn't hate Gareth like he usually would (instead having a 'complicated' relationship) and Agravain does care about both Gawain and Mordred since he called out to Gawain after he was shot with Rhongyominad and questioned the Lion King's coldness towards Mordred in the Sixth Singularity. Remember, Lancelot having a lesser part in the Fall of Camelot caused his to utterly loathe the man- by all rights he shouldn't care about Mordred. Yet he clearly does.

P.S. Yeah...I wish we knew something about Gaheris too. Best we know is that he teased Gawain about not knowing how much Gareth looked up him in Garden Of Avalon.

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jazz-kitty · 1 year

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CONGRATS ON BEATING THE GAME! Any particular stand-out thoughts you want to share??

OH MY GOD DO I....... first of all fern sevilla. oh my god. i love everything he had going on.well. big shocker from residential fern fan #3 but. GOOD FUCKING LORD.

i really liked seeing him and florinia. for a lot of gay little personal reasons but like. i dunno. it's nice to see him slowly try repairing his relationship with florinia. and trying to be a good person despite it all. and just. getting better i think.

he played the cards life had dealt him and played them fucking SOOOO POORLY LIKE SO BAD. but its never like. the end. his life doesn't stop and he doesn't have to go sacrifice himself and die. well. forever. to go prove that he's improved but like. he keeps on trying!!!! he keeps on going!!!!!! this shit is hard and he's embarrassed and frankly it SUCKS but he keeps on going. he apologizes to florinia he apologizes to the player and he shows that hes sorry!!!

i just think. that fern is very cool. and he deserves good things. because things get bad and in return you'll get worse but the grass still gets greener so long as you make the effort to grow it. i think that was like 8 metaphors strung together and im not sure how effectively that worked but you get my sentiment at the very least!!!

i dont know. i just love fern. he just wanted people to smile at him, but tried getting that through fear and intimidation. because being a normal kid was never enough for florinia, so clearly he was doing something wrong, right? so he gets worse and worse because this is the closest he's gotten to a Reaction out of florinia in years and if the universe won't give him what he deserves he'll take it.

JUST KIDDING. #EPICFAIL FERN. after the protagonist fucks his shit up again on victory road infront of everyone everything just. Happens. he deserved better than this- and maybe in a different timeline, thats what he got- but hes stuck HERE. mfw i am a chad but i have psychological problems so i am stuck here with you virgins. and he's embarrassed to all hell and florinia *still* just doesn't give a shit and then he starts arguing and yelling about how unfair lifes been to him and. no one cares. he doesn't get any sympathy because he doesn't deserve it and he's thrown into the machinery and is bleeding out and everyone is walking away

well. nearly everyone is.

florinia's still there. because in some fucked up way she still cares about her little brother. and in some even more fucked up way, fern cares too. he can't admit it and sure as hell wont for *checks watch* at least 60 more hours of gameplay. but theres a reason he wants a reaction out of her so bad.

and then he fights you again in the wasteland and loses *again* and he tries getting the mew and fails *that* too and his face is fucked up and everything is fucked up. and, in fact, continues to get fucked up! he stays in the corner of the nightclub because no one wants to talk to him and he doesnt wanna talk to anyone and. and. shafjsagasfhdsjkg. and despite it all. despite no one caring and despite it sucking so bad for him to do. he still tries to improve himself. he admits maybe the protagonist wasn't so bad.

and then the mewtwo quest. he takes the bullet for the protagonist and gets turned to stone. he didn't have to. it was only those two. it'd be one annoying as fuck competitor down anyways

and LORD HIS FUCKING UMBRAL AND THE MOMENTS LEADING UP TO IT SORRY NO TRYIN TO BE NORMAL RIGHT NOW IM GONNA EXPLODE. IM GONNA FUCKING EXPLODE. IM GOING TO EXPLODE. HE CARES SO FUCKING MUCH. fern message I DONT EVEN CARE *throws up and cries from caring so hard*. HE FOUGHT TWO KIDS FIVE YEARS OLDER THAN HIM JUST CAUSE THEY FUCKED UP FLORINIA'S BIRTHDAY. DUDE COME ON. BUT HE THOUGHT THAT. FLORINIA DIDNT CARE. ABOUT HIM OR ANYTHING HE'D DO.

and in his umbral state where all bets are off its time to give fucking EXPOSITION. deepest desires that he'd never say out loud. what are they you might ask person who's definitely already played reborn and know sthe answer? its seeing his sister safe T_T HE WAS SCARED. HE WAS SCARED AND JUST WANTED IT TO HURT LESS TO THINK THAT FLORINIA DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM. GOD. GOD. GODDDDDD. but in his own fucked up way he loves her and always has and hjkdsg

and then he breaks out of it and florinia expects him to just go back to normal- that it was all made up and strings that lin had pulled to get a laugh out of it, or something. but NO he genuinely just wants to. hgdjkshgs. hajnxzm. hfhjkhdgsjgkg. because. things can get better. they really really can. and. oughhhhhhhhh.

and by the end its like. they've lost a lot of time together and on their lives being the kinds of people that'd keep them save but never keep them happy. but its never too late. and. things can get better. and even if its slow and awkward and the first thing they do is immediately argue over what they're gonna tell everyone else about what happened because lord knows the protagonist wont but florinias version is BORINGGGGGGGGG as HELLLLL but at the same time ferns includes 3 more explosions than were probably there they both think. that maybe its not too late. not too late to have a little brother. not too late to have an older sister

#pokemon reborn #pokemon reborn spoilers #sorry for typing so much dude T_T #my best friend who i normally talk about this stuff to HAS NOT FINISHED REBORN. SO I AM LEFT ALONE. AND ILL DIE OUT HERE #FERN SEVILLA #MY SPECIALIST SHINING STAR #jazzask

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fipindustries · 1 year

Text

my mom and my sister have this really ugly tendency to respond overtly agressive to things i say that i thought were completly innocuous.

we would have a conversation and i would make some comment or ask some question or express some opinion, and i will do it with confidence because it makes sense to me, and they will immediatly shut it down. and is not just that they will disagree or express a different point of view, they will frame it as a very pointed criticism of me for daring to speak without knowing what the hell i was talking about, they will laugh because what i said was so uproariously stupid or harshly citisice me for being so arrogantly wrong. one way or the other they will make me feel like i did something bad just for expressing an opinion. and this wouldnt be so bad, i like debating, i can handle an argument. whats more, i am willing to be proven wrong, if they can give me a good argument i will admit that i was wrong. but this is already too arrogant for them, this idea that i need to be proven wrong before admiting it that i was wrong to them is a sign of pride. to make matters worse, its always two of them and one of me so it alway feels like they are ganging up on me.

and to make matters worse when i try to defend it, or argue my point or try to make my case they will get offended or outright angry with me for pressing the issue, and then i will start to get more defensive or more agressive in my tone or too debate brained and as the discussion goes on the higher the risk that my mom will get frustrated, she'll get convinced that i am a stubborn asshole in this situation who will not change her opinion no matter what, and then will storm off and refuse to talk to me for a while and things will be curt and tense and uncomfortable for the following minutes. all because i dared to speak.

and whats really fucked is that this has happened enough times that it has been cemented firmly as a narrative in their minds, in their view of the world i am [the person who is wrong about things and too prideful to admit it]. i can feel it when im in a conversation with the two of them how every time im about to say something they brace themselves expecting me to say something stupid, preparing themselves to catch me in some misstep so they can once again establish that im am an arrogant idiot who speaks without knowing and has to be put in her place and now i cant escape this.

if i had to guess why this started to happen is that i can be someone frustrating to argue against, because i AM stubborn and i AM smart enough that i can always come up with some way to try and defend my opinions (some times with less success than others) and i am too debate brained and they are just normal people who dont feel like turning every conversation in a prop logic duel of the minds.

so i have contributed to the image they have in their heads of me as an insufferable know it all who can never admit im wrong. so when its two of them against me then one person arguing against the majority opinion clearly has to be a contrarian which only emboldens them further.

i really dont know how to get out of this dinamic, and it really sucks every time i find myself caught up in it. because if i am a stubborn dick who can never admit im wrong then my mom and my sister are right up there with me. i know i cant bring any of this with them because they would dismiss it immediatly. they would say that im just being a sore loser who cant stand being contradicted so i have to turn it into this huge personal attack, that i am too sensitive, or they will say that is not their responsability to take care of my emotions, that they dont have to coddle me in an argument just so i don feel bad for being wrong, and that if i cant take it then i can just not talk to them

#fip living life

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tojikai · 2 years

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just read ur newest chapter of pm and jesus fucking christ i got some shit to say about that motherfucker rie

first off why does nobody care how this bitch is at the hospital like she don't even know y/n she is literally just there to cause issues like... claiming to be there because she's worried when she literally has to know she would only be making things worse if y/n

and then this fucker comes in... bad enough y/n had to first see her ex but now this dumb bitch... and she says that shit like holy fuck i hope she gets the worst ending

i genuinely cannot stand her bitch ass

also y/n finding out about being cheated on is going to actually break my heart - all of my relationships have ended with my ex having cheated on me so to me it's so much more than heartbreaking and GODDDDDDDDD i cant i fuckinf hate rie i hate her and her dumbass boyfriend like jesus christ leave y/n ALONEEEE

like does she seriously not comprehend whatsoever that she is not doing a single thing to help. like whatsoever. she's being an obnoxious and overbearing dumb BITCH who clearly thinks she's doing something but she's NOT. she's just causing issues and girl i know nothing about this bitch but i swear she's a character i have a deep hatred for already... if y/n and suguru don't end up together and leave satoru living a lonely miserable life while rie is also single forever and knows she will never compare to satoru's true love 💅 i am so embarrassingly invested in this story and now with this CLIFFHANGER...

last thing i gotta say is that your writing is incredible and ur toji fics and this fic have made me cry. i am not an emotionally weak person but the way you write y/n a lot of the time really resonates with me and i relate to her and see so much of myself in how u write her. ur incredible 💪

Rie is just... everywhere LMAOO😭 but yeah she's always where gojo is :')) but omg im sorry about what happened to your past relationships, u dont deserve to be cheated on. nobody does. i hope you're feeling better now~ and thank you so much for the support !! you've read my toji fics too omg they're angsty😭 im glad you enjoyed them !! i hope you're having a wonderful day/night <33

#🍭—kaitalks #f: permanent mark

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ap-sadistics · 1 year

Note

jung qvq [erqnpgrq] naq [erqnpgrq] ba yzxgjg qb? bgure guna or naablvat v zrna

ohhhhhh its funny really. "funny".

its technically more than two. i hate their entire friend group. its a bunch of bnfs (big name fans) on twitter. its absolutely certain you know at least one of them if youre in the fandom.

the thing im most irked about how they leverage their popularity for create a biased narrative against me. when i technically did no crime. i never even Spoke to the person. never interacted with them once. what i did. is vague them. for having the most wretchedly ooc characterizations for the sake of shipping a rare pair. and you see. i didnt have a problem with the ship itself. no! my issue. was that their characterization fucking SUCKED. i dont care if they called it "redemption" or "character development". it. was. out. of. character. straight. up. so i tweeted about this kid. i didnt mention their name. i mentioned the ship. and how i was sick of seeing it on twitter. i also i looked at their carrd and saw that this (this is a screencap of a screencap sooooo its old)

and i was you know what. im gonna do that. and that was the end of that

(i also was like was the hell does a kid have like 2000 followers that gives me fucking hives. bc lets be real. having a large social presence on the internet at that age when your a developing person is like. not ideal. im essentially antisocial and the idea of having that many ppl follow me for my stupid thoughts is fucking TERRIBLE. ive softblocked followers before to drive the number down. anyways i was thinking about it from that perspective. being conscious of numbers is Bad.)

flashforward a few hours and i noticed it wasnt the end of that. somehow the kid found my tweet and then supremely misinterpreted it and then sicced their followers/their friends onto my account. that tweet had a Large amount of pqrts (the stupid twitter culture thing where you essentially put on masks and stone the apparent criminal. and i was like. well this sure is a thing thats happening. and they def were twisting my words bc they screencapped my tweet and was bashing me about it. with absolutely 0 reading comprehension. well my course of action was to just go on private to cut off the engagement. what am i going to do? acknowledge what was happening with a tweet for them to twist and play the victim again? im not fucking stupid.

its really funny that after i privated i got 5 follow requests. THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDIOTS I EVER SEEN. blocked immediately. it was really funny.

thats not the funniest thing that happened tho. you might think that *i* might be playing the victim and that what happened wasnt that big of a deal. it wasnt. but also it sucked still. anxiety causing. but anyways it wasnt just a the qrts. after i privated, one of them reported my account for suicide

this was the funniest fucking thing that happened to me. i was livid during this whole incident but this was the funniest fucking part of this ordeal. it was HYSTERICAL. for the record there was none of that kind of content on my account! this is the most mentally healthy ive been bc i wasnt in my old uni anymore. not that i ever even posted about the kind of stuff ever.

this is clearly a petty attempt at harassment right? because they couldnt stand having someone think they are annoying and that their ship sucks (i didnt before but i do think it does now bc this incident made me hate the ship actually. because im petty too! but at least im self aware about it.)

someone also sent a bad faith ask to my fucking art blog because they haaaaaad to chase me down to a different fucking platform to harass me more

and like. what happened to me only proved my point. that teens shouldnt have a large following. this teen definitely abused their power didnt they.

who do you think had the worse experience. me or them? whose the real victim here.

if you think im problematic for fucking saying i dont like a person in public without once mentioning a name? get fucked.

also this happened again. it happened a second time. bc i found out there was a l/m/k zine going on and i said im not joining it bc they were a part of it. once again unnamed. LIKE OBVIOUSLY? IM NOT GONNA JOIN? it wasnt like i was going to fucking make it explode. but people toooooooook issue. i dont get how they find the tweet so fast im convinced one or more of them or their lackeys is stalking me. i could be paranoid tho.

anyways bc this is a friend group, the kid is a friend of a certain somebody. a very well known somebody. and bc they fed all their biased retelling of the incident to this somebody. im blocked by a very funny account.

super inconvenient really

you see theres more to it than this incident tho. i have an issue with how these people engage with their follower base. but honestly its a product of the kind of social media platform that twitter is. they clearly value the number of followers they have and to say it doesnt go to their head would be a lie. theres other specifics tho thats old news. that im not willing to divulge to an anon. who are you and why are you asking about a tweet from 3 days ago anon. you have me fucking paranoid. im gonna trust the fact you used rot13. out of courtesy. but im wary.

you might be able to deduce who the pricks are from the things ive mentioned here. but im not gonna say who they are to an anon. i dont trust like that.

#asks #anon #jem's miscellany

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coldvampire · 2 years

Text

sdffhghjhdgfhghgfhghdgfhghj ive been trying to work on this fic update for weeks but goddamn lmao i just. i am STRUGGLING which is ??? bc i still like it im still enthusiastic abt the project i simply feel like thats an unpopular stance and at this point im just getting embarrassed to keep posting my writing when the notes are just. me trying to reblog for exposure fdggh no one is obligated to ofc i know that but that post thats like ‘numbers arent everything but if you spent six hours on a cake that no one ate you might be more than a bit disappointed’ is extremely fucking real & im already having a hard time trying to convince myself im not universally disliked as-is tell me why people stop talking as soon as i contribute to the gc without fail like. every time i want to contribute i delete what i typed out bc i physically cant take this happening over and over again i dont know what i did wrong or what im doing wrong but clearly it was Something im just too stupid to figure out what. someone i am begging on my knees please explain what it is about me that repels people after a bit of time what do i lack just tell me so thats not helping either.

im also trying v hard not to infodump about other interests at the moment bc once again. embarrassing as hell i just keep thinking abt how annoying i am rn to litcherally everyone esp when i want to talk about obscure shit no one but me is into so it feels even worse lmao. & having someone ask out of obligation feels patronizing bc i know theyre not interested about hearing about the thing its just pity. ive been the pity/obligation person my whole life and i Hate it i hate just being tolerated i hate feeling like nothing i say actually matters in the conversation and like everyone is just waiting for me to stop talking i hate the way i can see people’s eyes glaze over and how they dont even notice if i cut myself off mid sentence theyre just glad ive finally finished talking. im so deep in it im actively trying to start up some sort of maladaptive fantasy where i can to talk Guilt Free about stuff but hgjhkjj im also struggling to conceptualize a universe where thats a thing lmao i cant enjoy my comfort characters bc they would also find my ass grating gfhgh like straight up i know they wouldnt like me thinking abt that is actually just making me feel worse lmao i hate it here

ive spent so much time in my own head lately just Spinning tf out and overanalyzing every sentence i type or speak and still somehow managing to fuck up in spite of that. like its not about the fic!! its not about the fic! and i know its not bc im still working even if its slowly. really truly is not just about the fic but thats something i guess more acceptable to complain about bc at least people kinda understand that frustration even if its cringe to vent about but at LEAST. its better than this. also ive taken care of all my basic needs for the day so ive confirmed that im not just deprived of sustenance or some shit gfhgj no ive truly just been feeling like this for weekssss on end now and im so tired. i already typed a version of this in my private server (its basically just like a journal/reminder set up for myself, very convenient & gives me the illusion of replies temporarily gfhgjh) and that wasnt enough so hopefully posting here just alleviates it a bit

#this is literally so stupid but i feel like im going to combust so.

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pinkadork · 5 months

Text

Tw; abuse, breakup rant, emotions:

I love you even if you're right in hating me. I fucked off hard. Either never being "there" in the day to day or worse being there, and being mad from jumping to conclusions all the time. My sarcasm would end up more spiteful than i cared to correct and even got mad when called out on. Alot of situations i never feel like i "snap" wheyer thats true or not. This has just been me. Everyday either intoxicated, aggravated, or devastated. When it did get physical because im yelling my head off and now I've made you unsafe, instead of realizing or seeing that i caused it, i just end up responding like you ARE trying to kill me. I'm not thinking about how much bigger i am, or againnthe fact that this is another situation i brought on myself and by association you, its like all i can think about is you not hitting me. Then i used to feel like me not hitting you back was me being the right even when what I'd do instead end up worse(who'd of thought trying to restrain a person in panic wouldn't go well/s).

It never mattered where we started to me because if how it ended and after awhile i felt the same way post breakup. I didn't wanna lose any and all ties i had to you. So whenever we would talk for especially how we talked it felt like we were working it out, maybe it skewed how i thought you felt about how things played out and not just that day but the entirety of your 3 years here. I did think we could've made it, still do to the smallest inkling but like, and im sorry if im just still an ass atp, you used to irritate my soul to the point it'd feel intentional. It felt like after a certain point you got off on it, just to shame me when it crossed into a point of unsexy jealousy. Some things we argued about felt like you wanted to argue for the sake of justifying leaving. Wheter true or not there were and technically more recently have been times where you're clearly mad at me and either wont say anything snd just be passive aggressive or you empty the clip like you were holding back every bad feeling youve ever had about me back and then make it my fault you did that. By the end of our relationship you told everyone you got out of an abusive relationship and lowkey paraded around like a DV survivor. I showed my ass mentally and then surprise surprise, i had to get medicated on more than weed and get in therapy because yeah i am big reason my relationship ended even if i dont agree with the reasons said. Yeah i tried sfter getting in therapy to shoot my shot and it didnt work. Just because im stuck in my lovey dovey shit didnt mean you had to for shit. Im so over the story that i just kept begging for you to come back when even when i was in my most "i miss you bb and think we should work it out" the thought of living with you again so soon makes my skin crawl and much rather have did visits and vc and also i felt i needed to figure more personal shit out to not be ass mad all the time or present that thats what i was.

I was fine loving you from afar while i worked on myself and did whatever needed to be done and could be done to make everything not like it was but not fucking dog shit.

After the last time we talked, i ended just mad at myself for being mad at you then. I could feel how much i thought you thought you were "slick" or "really thought you was cute with that one" like i understand youre angry and how you feel even if again i know we dont and probably wont ever agree on that shit. I understood it. So when youre out here clearly trying to hurt me because you're hurt and tired of me atp why was that even a concern of mine?

The real reason i dont try firing back isnt because i truly beilieve that yes im an abuser and just satan himself, but really because theres no denying theres been too many times i acted and reacted without much thought or consideration and i feel thats worse. Abusers go out there way to do whatever but whatever the fuck i am can just like happen. I still think im abusive.

Its hard not too at this point. At base level im a hothead that yells alot, i overreact to minor grievances, and max i kick holes in walls and sit on my partner.

I could explain that again but like would the explanation make the outcome different?

I dont know what this was whatever

Im sorry

#pinkadorkdiaries #bpd vent #breakup vent

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dearestones · 7 months

Note

hello! id like to submit an entry for the twisted wonderland match up! :-)

about me;

- im gay + trans masc

- interests and hobbies; haute couture + avant garde fashion shows, alternative fashion (vkei, scemo, goth..), drawing, painting, clothes-making, embroidery, reading, writing, politics, philosophy and ethics, jewelery-making, films, papercraft, sculpting, any artistic hobby under the sun you bet my ass would do

- personality;

- i'm shy and keep to myself in most situations, but i can be charismatic and funny around trusted friends. i like making new friends and getting to know people; i admire outgoing and passionate people the most.

- i'm emotionally self-aware (i pride myself the most with this)-- i understand myself very well, so i can communicate pretty clearly with others.

- i avoid judging people for trivial matters. we are all cringe and we are FREE!!

- i'm non-tolerant of bigoted beliefs and unafraid to confront them. my moral compass is pretty strong?

- i'm always striving to be the best version of myself, though i do have some very deep-rooted insecurities about myself at all times.

- i'm dedicated and hardworking when focused on something i care about, but i struggle with my attention span.

- i'm patient and hard to anger, but easily irritated.

- i like learning new things! so i like listening to people talk a bout obscure and niche things.

- i really. really like people. i like the sounds of people and the love people share and the fun they have and how different they are. they're very interesting and i like discussing deeper topics with them, but this makes me rather awkward in new friendships because i just get right down into the nitty gritty of it :[

appearance;

- im 5'7, pale, dark-haired (i have a mullet. a wolfcut?? with an undercut. biblically accurate haircut). im pretty neutral with my appearance but i like my pear figure!

- i have high cheekbones, a square jaw, double lid eyes, a high nosebridge, and my lips have no cupids bow. i take pretty good care of my lip skin tho so i have that going on for me lmfao

trivia;

- im horribly and horrendously picky with my food i would NAWT survive in the wild

- my natural sleep schedule consists of sleeping at 10 am and waking up at 6pm

- i like watching analysis videos/video essays, documentaries, studies, etc etc but my memory is worse than the most arthritis ridden goldfish so i dont retain it either way

thank you for your time!

ahahaha i missed a few things to add for my match up request! my bad! my og request states i am mlm trans masc; im the 5'6 guy. i would like a romantic match up, and i believe ive already some of my positive traits, but for a comprehensive list;

- positive traits

1. compassionate/considerate/understanding

2. patient

3. earnest

4. witty/humorous

5. honest/open with my emotions and thoughts

6. pragmatic romantic

7. curious

8. hardworking/competent

9. self-reflective

- negative traits

1. flighty? (i tend to disappear off the face of the earth and not tell anyone)

2. jealous

3. impulsive

4. insecure

5. disorganized

6. perfectionist

7. rigid (to change in structures-- i need it to function or ill become extremely stressed)

8. forgetful

(2/2)

~~~~

Hey, Devin here!

Unfortunately, I can't do this request because it went over my word limit. I checked your first message to my inbox and it's already over 400 words. If you want a request done, make sure you adhere to any limitations that I have specified in my rules.

If you're still interested, please rewrite or subtract things so that it will be within limit.

If you have any more questions, refer to my pinned post for more of my matchup rules.

Thank you and I hope that you have a wonderful day.

#anon #anon ask #anonymous ask #answered #dearestones #devintrinidad #matchup #character matchup

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everything-is-crab · 8 months

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i just dont see how it's americans' job to care about the whole world... m not saying they should defend their military's actions, and plenty of americans DONT agree w the policy decisions post 9/11 but acting like there's anything wrong about caring that 3000 innocent american civilians died a horrific death is a bit ridiculous. you guys are just uncomfortable we are not about me? bird meme. you can mourn your own citizens lost in the wake of 9/11 and americans can mourn theirs.

Oh hey

I was wondering where the stupid crowd went cause everytime I speak about the GS I always get at least one weird anon.

Actually I don't think I ever said there's anything wrong with people mourning deaths. I was objecting to Americans making jokes about our issues and tragedies and then getting mad when anyone else does it back at them. You can't be hypocritical that way and not expect people to be angry at you. If you want them to respect your tragedies then start respecting those people first. Stop making jokes about atomic bombing, stop joking about how you would be illegal in other countries and executed cause homosexuality is criminalized there and just fucking stop.

And I don't think we're the ones getting triggered when you mourn your people's loss. You are. Look at the replies to this post for example. Whiny yankees.

So what do you want us to do? Don't expect American liberals to empathize with rest of the world but when we do it on our own then you tell us we're stealing your day.

If 9/11 isn't the appropriate day to grieve for brown people in the GS, then what day is? You never like when people point out US imperialism and your own involvement in it (whether direct or indirect) regardless of what day it is.

And the thing that makes us mad is cause 9/11 had a bigger impact on the Middle Eastern countries that US intervened in than it did on Americans. This is a hard fact you can't deny. Look at the conditions of the countries where the result of your government and your support (even if it was in the past) manifest more clearly than the effects of 9/11 on the USA as a whole nation. Your own intelligence agency was involved in and that's not a conspiracy theory but a confirmed fact. And yet people are like "they had it coming". Idk why you guys act like 9/11 wasn't actually an incentive for the US government to gain support from its own citizens for the Iraq War. Are you really gonna pretend that a huge percentage of your population didn't adopt any Islamophobic beliefs during that time? We don't gaf that you regret it now when you don't recognize the Iraqis, Afghans, Syrians etc as the primary victims even today despite claiming to be regretful.

You're just whiny nationalists who can't gaf about anyone but yourselves after plunging entire nations into instability.

Unless you're right winger I wanna know your politics. Cause actually people from the GS have asked you to not interfere in our jobs and "care" for us. Everytime your government tried to "care" for us it has never turned out well. So idk what bullshit you're sprouting here cause you clearly don't know shit about US imperialism.

But if you're an activist (or a person interested in activism) it is your responsibility to be aware of your government's international crimes. Regardless of nationality. Have some accountability.

It is important to do so cause neither the American left nor the American right has ever been anti imperialist. That leads to ignorance and ignorance leads to neutrality or worse, support for the imperialists cause your media is great at spreading propaganda and misinformation. One of the people I follow posted some data on how the American left as of today supports foreign interventions more than the right (the user is inqilabi if you need to search or just Google it, the survey was pretty recent).

I wanna know why American liberals have sm resistance to owning accountability. I am not from the Middle East btw I am Indian (a country that's currently US allied and has chosen to protect US hegemony so I am definitely not buying into any propaganda our government is spreading).

And people in my country are very Islamophobic too. Despite from being a third world poor nation that has been colonized in the past, the liberals in my country hold nothing back while protesting against the Islamophobia.

And I just know this sentiment of yours, wanting to care more for American victims of 9/11 than anyone else, is nationalist cause that's how nationalists in my country speak too.

They focus only on terrorist attacks like 26/11 to push Islamophobic propaganda (even though the attackers were Pakistani and not Indian Muslims) while completely ignoring the numerous events of massacre of Muslim people in the country throughout history.

I am very familiar with that kind of talk. So you can't fool me into thinking that most Americans are actually very nice progressive people who actually don't hold anything against Muslims.

#ask #anon #anti imperialism

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beantothemax · 8 months

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“If I died when my mother did, would anything have changed?”

“Probably not. Your brother is another candidate. You’re just more convenient.”

“…Convenient. Is that what people think of me? Just a convenient person to be around? To use?”

“Oh definitely. I mean look at yourself. You certainly look the part.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hikari, you’re a people pleaser for as long as I knew you. Your father was distant from you, Mugen hates you, and your mother is gone. I would include friends but that seems to be fluctuating on a daily basis. You want people to see you and appreciate you. You don’t help people for the sake of helping them, you help them so you can feel better about yourself and so that they can look at you. Anything for the people is just a lie you made up so that you can justify all of this.”

“What about now? I lied low just like you told me to, and here I am tangled up with all of this, helping people without even trying. What should I call that?”

“Circumstance. You were there at the time so they asked for your help and since you have a bleeding heart, you help them. It escalates and now you’re here.”

“…Maybe I am doing this all for a selfish need to be seen. But at least I’m doing something. If I can help people even for a little bit then the world gets a bit better.”

“Hah. It’s a wonder your the Harbinger of the End. With all the optimism you have for the world, no one would really notice that you could end it in an instant.”

“Stop that.”

“I’m just saying the truth.”

“…I don’t want the world to end Kazan. It’s bad right now but we don’t know if it can get better or worse. And I like to think it can get better. Most people are just that. People. Everyone is trying to get by and I like to think that it’s the small kindness that they do that helps it get better.”

“Doesn’t do much against everything else though.”

“That’s a fault of the system, not of themselves. People are flawed. They’ll always be flawed. We just hope they make the right choices and are kind. We try to be kind to each other and try our best. Because what else are we supposed to do?”

“…Wow. I try to get you to kill me so that the world would end and you still believe things can get better?”

“What else am I supposed to do? I can’t die because, as you said, my brother is always an option. I can’t let the world end because my friends are all in it. And I can’t just hide after my brother is taken care of because what kind of existence is that?”

“All good points. You truly are in a harrowing position.”

“You know, when I decided to talk to you, I thought that you would try to turn me to nihilism. Surprised you haven’t done that yet.”

“No use in preaching to an audience that doesn’t listen. You clearly have your own path you want to follow, so. That leads to the big question. What are you going to do about this?”

“…I don’t know. I don’t know how to stop you and the people you work for but I won’t stop fighting for the Dawn. Does that answer satisfy you?”

“I suppose. Honestly I am just waiting for what will happen. If the world ends then I’m proven right. If it doesn’t then I’m proven wrong and, well. I’ll admit, that option sounds much more interesting than the first.”

KIWI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KIWI IM SHAKING YOU FRANTICALLY HOW DO YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME

HIKARI. HIKARI JUST TALKING ABIUT HOW YEAH THE WORLD’S NOT THE BEST VUT WE DONT KNOW IF ITLL GET BETTER OR WORSE UNTIL WE SEE IT……… GAAAAAAAAAAH I KNOW ITS THE SAME MESSAGE BUT IN THIS NEW CONTEXT ITS JUST… EXPERIENCING TOO MANY EMOTIONS

@throne-anguis

#asks #sombrerokiwi #persona Octopath au #octopath persona au #inbox fic

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