#and my love for it has very little to do with either gale OR peeta I love it bc katniss (myself) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cometrose · 1 year

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let me try to get all of my hunger game feelings down as quickly as possible

first of all, what a series it was so much better than i remember and i don't like 10 year olds should've been allowed to read this but i think for the most part all of the traumatic shit went over their heads

peeta my son, he has been reduced to a soft spoken bread boy over the years and i did not remember or realize how charming he was in the book gosh he is my babygirl and so sweet

in the first book he was an absolute treasure like the way he flirts with katniss the way he moves a crowd im in awe like i fucking love the interview scene in the first book and the movies do it such a disservice because his crush confession is so shocking that everybody kind of gasps like he has stolen this crowd at the show (im kind of sad cause caesar and peeta duo was so iconic naturally stars)

god katniss my dear i don't know where to start with her

i had no idea she was such a shitty narrator like if i didn't already know the entire plot i might have believed her crazy ass. Especially in the first book the girl is insane. peeta is living his terrible life with a crush while katniss is having a one sided enemies to lovers moment all in her fucking head. It is not until the train home that its like oh he was serious ofc you fucking walnut.

katniss is the star but everyone with eyes knows that if you take peeta away from her she'll breakdown and thats the cruelest part. I think if I was Snow i would've left katpee alone idk why put the spark back in the spotlight ya know?

the second book peeta was another beam of light god the baby line is so iconic and he deserved it malewife manslaughter manipulate he has done it all and did it flawlessly

and he’s still so sweet like trying to get katniss to leave him or backing off when he thinks she's with gale he always so respectful of her space

the fucking locket and pearl are very special to me like he knows and SHE KNOWS there is nothing left for him in 12 but she doesn't listen

there is so much warmth in him from painting rue's portrait for the gamemakers or offering gifts to district 11 like he didnt know thresh and rue but he knew how much it meant to katniss and how awful it was for them to die. Even him talking the morphling as they died just gently describing his paintings and rainbows was so precious

And I think about katniss and peeta were labeled as rebels for simply showing acts of kindness I like how he gets mad and that gentleness disappears but there is always a reason behind it, and him taking care of haymitch is just the sweetest he has attitude but so much warmth

then in MJ goodness its a lot first the torture and then risking it all to warn the rebels and then later like yes he tried to kill katniss but she overlooked it and so will i and hes so mean and cruel when he's out of his mind but can you blame him its not like he's lying??

the moments where that gentleness comes out again are so precious to me when he bakes annie and finnick's wedding cake when he talks sweet to delly its the little moments and how like every single book before he still wants katniss to live and he's crying and begging for death and digging his arms into his wrists to hold himself together

in the end he still wont let katniss die and the first thing he fucking does after getting out of wherever the fuck they stored him was to plant primroses in front of her house and i love him so much

he's really smart its just that no one tells him the fucking plan ever even though they all agree he's a great fucking actor

He knows he hold katniss back and he wants her to let him go but she wont and he wont let her go either and he gives her space to sort out her feelings like yes he loves her he always has and he has never tried to push her and he's just a kind person and i really really really that

At the end of the day i will always treasure a character who is simply a good person

Katniss has her moments of frustration but I don't think I can ever get mad at her because like peeta she is a genuinely good person.

Don't listen to her shitty inner monologue she doesn't have a fucking clue she is so empathetic and compassionate and caring she might not be outwardly sweet but she shows it with her actions, with rue, prim, peeta, everyone and everybody her kindness knows no bounds and she does it because she desperately wants to protect the people she loves

I think so much is lost from katniss' character into shitty ya dystopias of the 10s is that compassionate. She did not become a symbol of rebellion because she really wanted to she did it to protect the people she loves every act of rebellion was a show of love and compassion whether it is burying a little girl and singing her to her death or risking it all to help as many people as she can

peeta says it the best that she has no idea the affect she has on people and her crappy elder sister inner monologue shows that she thinks so little of herself and her ability that she undermines her skills and talents and natural charisma.

So much of her is survival “I want to the people i love to survive” and when innocent people die because of her when her friends fall to save her it hurts and hurts and she is buried under the weight of it all, burying the burden of a rebellion is not something that should be thrust upon a young girl trying to live

she's moody she's feisty but damn does she love deeply and passionately it just looks different.

THG is a very gross book there is no other way to describe everything is far uglier then you remember. The wolf mutts that look like tributes the tears the blood and pain its all so awful. Reading through the pain and the suffering and it does this really odd thing of making you smile in between the moments of terror. I love katniss' flashbacks through the book and how they reveal more and more of the story.

Katniss could have abandoned peeta and left him like he told her too multiple times but she wanted him to live she wanted that boy who gave her bread to survive and she knew if he died she would never recover it may not be the love we are thinking about but it was everything.

I don't think i will forget how awful cato's death is and how my eyes watered reading rue die again. THG is so good and making us despair you come out of that silly book hating nobody there is no tribute that i can afford to hate. The first book has a very unique vibe to it and i like it's style.

CF, catching fire is probably my favorite cause its the least traumatizing. I blame katniss and peeta for that because they are the cutest fucking thing in that stupid book. I argue that it might be a mix of love and codependency thrown in there but the cutest shit.

I totally forgot about the gale katniss love stint at the beginning so that was a total surprise.

I love the cast of catching fire i love them all i love finnick and mags and johanna and beetee and wiress and morphling 6 ( i dont like calling her that) i love the stylists and cinna and effie and i like themmmm. i like them all i love how the city and nation cries for their tributes and you see all of their friends and allies come together before the end begins.

That fucking force field has me smiling every time because its the moment where everybody but katniss realizes how much peeta means to her. The stupid pearl and the stupid locket make my heart hurt because peeta loves her so much and wants her to live and she doesn't care because she'll do anything and everything to keep him alive.

Watching them hold each other in the train, cry over force fields, drag each other through fog and water, hold each other in their arms after terrible jabberjays, even before when she was watching him bring her bread and paint in her home and katniss would stare at his eyelashes. Like she says it would be easy to let peeta go but she will never do that and she can't. Calling out for each other before she blows up the damn force field like fuck you all even if they didn't fall in love i know damn well they should've stayed together.

MJ is such a hollow book you just come out of it with emptiness like im not sad i wont cry but i feel a bit empty because you look at all the things you had and then its all gone, what was katniss fighting for? her sister, her mother, gale? and its all gone in and instant nothing remains, her friends her home the companions she made along the way and it hurts and hurts. You close the book and take a deep sign and just feel whatever is left to feel. Madge's death kind of hurt me she was the symbol behind the symbol and she is just gone. everybody is gone

Like there is nowhere to begin its falling in love even more with finnick and watching him disappear its falling in love with katniss' little camera crew and watching them disappear

its prim the light that started this just disappear and whats left NOTHING

there are so many moments where katniss wants to rip her head off but she can't because she doesn't have time there is no space there is no room its not until she if shipped back to her home all alone that she truly breaks down because she can. there is no more rebellion she has to be strong for there is no prim or mother she has to lead and she is stuck with all the weight all alone.

MJ just left me hollow like maybe if i read this years ago after CF came out i would’ve hand the sticky stuffy feeling i get in chest when i read bittersweet stories but i don’t know if this is sweet enough and it’s not bitter? it’s nothing just nothing is left

i love the parallels the book has with modern society like this is a death game where children have to fight to the death and everyone only paid attention to the love triangle and romance like they did in the games of the fact nobody cared a 16 year old girl would die in senseless violence until they realized she was pregnant like the baby suddenly makes her life valuable

simple acts of kindness labeled as rebellious and innocent children are forced to shoulder the weight of the world when they have no one left. there are so many moments where death would be the kindest thing to any of these characters because they had no hope but hope enters so when they die their death hurts like nothing else.

it tells a story of war and survival that seems so far away but so close. Katniss just wanted to live and the people she loved to live she never asked to become the face of a war but she does it and she stands strong until she can’t anymore i love her and i think her love and empathy has been lost over the years

if i were to talk about the romance okay it’s been years i knew peeta was going to win but seeing him again was so refreshing cause he is so charming and sweet and it makes my heart flutter. if katniss didn’t want him i’ll take him

i don’t hate gale, like his anger and rage caused prim’s death and you can argue having Coin in his ear and having to raise his family all by himself traumatized him so he believes it’s okay to sacrifice innocent lives (children and doctors mind you) for the greater good.

Both boys are rebels and they are good people deep down but peeta is motivated by kindness he does these things because it is the kind thing to do gale does these things because he’s angry for all he has to suffer. Both sides are justified in their feelings but it’s about katniss at the end of the day

there are many moments where katniss is taken back my gale’s cruelness and flame. She doesn’t need him to appeal to her anger to the rebellious aspect of her being. Peeta however appeals to the softer side of her soul the one that nurtures little girls who sings people to sleep he opens up the sweet side of katniss that she is positive doesn’t exist. She can be painfully romantic and she can tell everyone she doesn’t see the beauty in the world but she does she sees it every time.

There is more to katniss that fighting and hunting and i don’t think gale knew that. At the end of the day the only option was Peeta because he complimented the side of her that was buried by the weight of the world and i think that adds more meaning to her life than anything else

there are so many characters to talk about j loved ever second with haymitch and how he acts like he doesn’t care but every single tribute that has come after him has left a hole in his heart. My district 12 tributes are disasters but they truly care about each other probably every only people left in the world who would risk it all

#thg #the hunger games #this is so long im sorry #i have emotions GIVE ME A SECOND #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #i have even more to say trust #cometrose documents her hunger games revist

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mellarked-katnisseverdeen · 10 months

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Which The Hunger Games characters :

1. Do you relate the most?

2. Do you think missunderstood by fandom?

3. Do you want to know better?

Please give reasons for your answers. And you can pick more than one character for each question.

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

So, totally forgot this was here! My bad!

Okay, let's go:

Hmh I think who I relate to the most has always been...on some level everyone, but mostly Peeta. I have felt that feeling of wanting nothing else but to be myself, who I am and not have to compromise or change for others around me. I've felt that desire for beauty and peace. Though, Katniss and her anger and confusion is also something I have felt and relate to so much as well. Even more so when I read the books the first time. So, Peeta but also Katniss too.

The easy one is Gale, and yes. A lot of people sorely misunderstand him as this heartless jerk and yea. That is a very wrong reading of him. But I will also say I think Haymitch is also misunderstood a lot too, as anyone who says he didn't love Katniss and Peeta, and wasn't doing the best he could for them given the little control he had over everything is missing the mark on him as well, I think.

Ohh SO many. Peeta plain and simple. I'd love to specifically know more about his family, as it almost feels intentionally left out. ut also his recovery, too. Johanna is also HIGH on the list of characters I'd love to know more about. Coin as well. Delly, Madge, Cato and either of the gamemakers even.

#Asks #The Hunger Games #Katniss Everdeen #Peeta Mellark #Haymitch Abernathy #Gale Hawthrone #Johanna Mason

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aschen-kiln · 2 years

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Book Peeta and Movie Peeta.

What key point or best qualities of Peeta's that lost in the movie adaptation?

What do you think about Josh Hutcherson portrayal of Peeta?

Thank you,

@curiouspeetamellark

Ok ok ok.

Peeta. Baby Peeta. My beloved Peeta.

It's massively difficult to translate a book into a movie. Honestly a TV show would have been better. Since the hero is Katniss, they mostly focused on her, her trials, her emotions. Everything has to be related to her, even more than in the books. Therefore, things she has been witness to, like Peeta sharp cleverness, his strenght, his abuse when he was a kid didn’t make it into the movies. Which is a shame.

Because apart from his stint with the fake baby, someone who watch only the movies cannot know how fucking smart that boy is. He plays the game like he was born into it, from the very moment he is reaped, to the moment he's rescued from the Capitole 3 books later. He plays the public, he plays the Gamemakers and the sponsors, he plays the Careers, he plays Katniss when he strikes a deal with Haymitch at their second reaping, he plays Snow... the boy is smart as hell and sadly there was simply no time to make it shine through in the movies.

Same goes for his physical strenght. That boy is strong. Like a goddamn ox. Apart from that very brief (and slightly ridiculous) metal ball throwing in the first movie... nothing is shown of his strenght. Even the fight with Cato, where he holds his own in the book, doesn't show it. Cato is tactical, strong, and simply knows how to move because he has been trained since childhood for this very fight, the fight that will make him a victor. Peeta has nothing of this but he still holds his own because what he's lacking, he's compensating with brute strenght, simple as that. Sadly, the movie had to be fast paced and focused on Katniss so while the boys fight we mostly see her getting her bearing back then aiming an arrow at Cato right when he wins over Peeta.

They didn’t have the time to focus on Katniss and Peeta's strained relationship in CF either. Too much was going on in the world and to better show the magnitude of the aftershocks provoked by their victory, they had to get away from them a little.

Same goes for Peeta's recovery after his rescue. They show his arrival and his attempt at strangling Katniss, then his mini meltdown in his cell, then he's arriving in full gear in the Capitole to "help" the Star Squad. His appearence in the dining hall, which i love ? Erased. His cake for Finnick's wedding ? Erased. Both these scenes are important to show his recovery but they had to go in order to focus on Katniss fight and Coin's manipulations.

What i feel they still tried to make shine is his absolute devotion to Katniss. They tried, at least. Didn’t exactly suceed, but didn’t fail either. He is just a love interest in the movies, the "nice guy" where Gale is more "bad boy". It's a shame because as much as Gale and Peeta are both strong contenders for Katniss affections in the books, i can't help feeling like she NEVER sees Gale as anything but her big brother, her rock. Before he takes it upon himself to kiss her which confuses her terribly. Even after that, she loves him and it shows but she only kisses him because she feels like it's something he needs. Same goes for the kisses shared with Peeta in the first arena. But those evokes feelings in her Gale does not. ANYWAY. It's another debate xD

Now... Josh Hutcherson. Don't get me wrong. I like him. He did his best and he did good with what he had to work with. He was good as Peeta. But. Yeah there's a but xD i don't know i've always seen Peeta as... tall. Like really tall. Not as much as Finnick or Cato but at least as much as Gale. He has this aura of gentle giant and, for all his qualities, Josh cannot help his height xD

Does this satisfy you @curiouspeetamellark ?

#the hunger games #peeta mellark #ask

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sansaorgana · 4 months

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so, I was never interested in the hunger games when the movies first released (and I'm not a big book reader, so i didn't know it was a book first). But mainly because it was advertised to me as a love triangle teen romance.

and I'm so mad that that's how it was advertised. because, because of you reblogging so many gif sets and ppl talking about the prequel movie, I actually sat down to watch them and they're so good? It's so much more than a frivolous teen love triangle. Like, the love story isn't the main plot of the story at all and it was still so heavily marketed as such where I live. Like, there was even "Team Peeta vs. Team Gale" stuff.

anyways, you're one of the reasons i gave it a chance, and i really enjoyed the movies, so thank you!

hi, sweetheart! this message made me blush a little, I feel like an influencer now 😅

I was a huge fan of The Hunger Games when I was about 14. I've read the books and went to the cinema to see the first and second movie but with time I grew out of it (and other YA stuff) and I haven't even watched last two movies until now. I had to rewatch the first movie for my master thesis and I decided to watch them all this time. I'm also planning to watch the prequel soon 🐍🦅

I get what you mean when you talk about the love triangle. The thing I hate the most about YA is the amount of love. And yes, The Hunger Games are more than romance but still the amount of it is annoying to me, especially now when I'm older. Like, Katniss is a teenager trying to survive under a regime, she's fighting for her life, she is forced to murder other children and she's taking care of her family. I really feel like the trope of her being in a love triangle is not needed there at all... Especially that she is portrayed as a type of girl who suually doesn't get lots of attention from the boys but of course she suddenly has to choose between two. 🙄 I also don't ship her with Peeta for lots of reasons and I do like Gale which is an unpopular opinion but it's not like I think she should be with him either; not after everything that has happened at least. I'm not asexual or aromantic but I do believe love is overrated and I am sick of romantic relationships being literally everywhere. Sometimes when I watch older war movies, I am surprised how none of the subplots are romantic, meanwhile nowadays almost everything has to have some romance and it's bleeeeh if you ask me 😅

However, the books and movies are more than this love triangle anyway but a huge part of social media and the fandom shallowed the plot to the "team Gale" vs "team Peeta" and it's sad tbh.

Long story short; I am not a fan of YA anymore, I am way too old to relate to it but The Hunger Games are really good for the books and movies of that genre. I wish the discourse in the fandom was focusing less on the romance between Katniss and Peeta and focus more on the depths of some characters like President Snow, President Coin, Plutarch or Gale himself who has a very interesting trope but it's being overlooked because of the hatred that a huge part of the fandom holds for him.

By the way, I am a bit scared of watching the prequel because President Snow is my favourite character and I am scared to see him being portrayed by another actor but also I don't like the story (from the trailers at least)... Once again they gave him some *heartbreaking romance* story that was supposed to turn him cruel or whatever and in my opinion this is making his character shallow instead of giving him depth. Like, can we already stop making everything about romantic love? 🙄

I am sorry for the very long reply and I am glad that you enjoyed the movies. It also makes me happy that I was the person who introduced you to this fandom. Sometimes blogging on Tumblr feels like I am posting to the void and like no one even cares but such messages always make my day 🌞

#sansaorgana: Answered #lovely anons #The Hunger Games Movies #The Hunger Games Universe

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seasonsofeverlark · 2 years

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The Chances We Take

Author: @jhsgf82

Prompt: Hi there! Hope you could still accept my birthday prompt for Nov. 25. Since it falls on thanksgiving day, maybe you could do something around it? I want to read on everlark thanksgiving with blended family maybe both are single parents or one of them is (really, I’m not picky). Rated T/M Thank you so much! 🧡 Love your blog!! [submitted by @imsoeverlarked]

Rating: T

Summary: Single father Peeta Mellark heads to a bookstore to learn more about camping and the outdoors, in order to please and impress his son. There, he meets a beautiful woman with a past of her own who helps him make some selections, and he falls swiftly for her. Will he have the courage to act on his new feelings, despite his past heartache? Will he get a second chance at love?

Author’s Note: Happy Birthday, @imsoeverlarked! Special thanks to @evestedic for brainstorming this with me and giving me some great ideas as well as to the poor guy on Reddit who was an inspiration for this story. He ended up pretty happy, it seems. Disclaimer: No Delly or Gale hate meant here; it is what it is, needed to use some characters for my purposes, and they fit. And well, people are only human, right? I hope you enjoy! ______________

Benjamin Cartwright-Mellark, my seven-year-old son, has recently gotten into camping and the outdoors, so I’m headed to the corner bookshop on my lunch break from the bakery to read up on the subject, in hopes I can muddle my way through a camping trip without either of us getting lost, maimed, or eaten by a bear.

I love my son with all my heart, and I’d do just about anything for him‒stand up for him, fight off a pack of rabid mutts, and yes, even go camping.

Ours isn’t a fairy tale life, but it’s a good one. And Ben and I are very much a family, even though ours is a small unit‒it’s just the two of us.

Well, my son’s mother, Delly, is in the picture, but we’re divorced. We share joint custody of Ben, and even though she annoys the crap out of me at times, we have an amicable relationship.

We’ve come a long way…

Delly Cartwright was my childhood best friend and high school sweetheart (the last two years). We were quick to marry, married young, right after high school at age 19. Maybe that was part of the problem. We apparently weren’t as compatible as I thought and struggled through the first two years of our marriage. Perhaps that’s why she started talking to Thom, her ex, again, even though he’d been emotionally abusive to her, always criticizing her for being overweight and talking too much, and had cheated on her with a girl named Bristel.

As far as her weight, Delly wasn’t heavy, just full-figured, which I never minded. She was beautiful to me, and I definitely appreciated her hourglass curves.

About two and a half years into our marriage, Thom got back in touch with Delly. She told me about it initially, and I assured her I wasn’t trying to control her or tell her what to do, but I warned her about associating with him. I didn’t trust the guy; I didn’t want him to cause her any more pain. Well, Delly had recently lost a decent amount of weight, and although I hadn’t thought it necessary for her to do so, I made sure to pay her a lot of attention and praise her for the achievement. She did look fantastic. Of course, right around that time, I noticed her acting strangely, being more secretive. Come to find out, she’d been talking to Thom behind my back for weeks. At first I was upset, even a little angry, but I stayed calm and let her explain. She insisted that they were just friends, and I believed her. She also told me that Thom said he’d sought help and was only trying to apologize and make amends for how he’d treated her in the past.

Well, of course, my antennae went up about that, especially since I knew Delly had recently posted pictures of her weight loss journey on social media. I worried Thom was trying to get Delly back, now that she was presumably a size he could tolerate, or at least sweet talk her into an affair, and well…I ended up being right.

It broke my heart when Delly cheated on me. I just couldn’t believe it. I knew people made mistakes, but I just couldn’t believe my sweet childhood friend/wife would ever hurt me that way. She apologized profusely, promised me it would never happen again, and adamantly told me how much she loved me and wanted to make this work.

But I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t look at her the same way after that.

After being betrayed, at first, I was a little crazed; it hijacked my mind a bit‒at least the worst thing I ever said to her was to ask her how she could possibly cheat on me when she knew how shitty it felt. I didn’t hate Delly, though, as much as I might have wanted to; however, I simply couldn’t be in a relationship with her anymore.

It was only a little over a month later that I found out Delly was pregnant. Delly didn’t fight me over having a DNA test done, to be sure. The paternity test revealed that it was mine.

We talked it out, decided to keep the baby, and although I still refused to get back together, I put the divorce on hold. I promised Delly I’d stay by her side, support her fully during the pregnancy and the birth, and that I’d try to be friends again. And of course, I was going to be in my-our child’s life for the rest of my days.

Benjamin Basil Cartwright-Mellark was the single most exquisite sight I’d ever seen in my life, and the moment I laid eyes on that blond mop coming out of his mother, tears came streaming down my cheeks, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would die for him.

No, I wouldn’t change having my precious son for anything in the world, though it wasn’t the ideal path to take.

—–

I push through the door, and a little bell jingles as I set foot, for the first time, in Tesserae Books. I look around. The place is charming and quaint, small but with a good selection as far as I can tell. Hopefully, they’ll have something to help me.

There’s a young woman with dark, spiky hair seated behind the front counter on her phone. She glances up, and I say hello, but she doesn’t greet me back. Thus, I figure I’m on my own. I mosey through the aisles, scanning the category titles, which look to be written in black sharpie on pieces of masking tape, until I come across the Non-Fiction section and within it, I locate the genre: Nature. Okay, that sounds right. I notice there are several sub-genres of Nature, including Outdoor Skills, Adventure Sports, and Guide Books. Seems I was right about them having a wide selection for a small bookstore; in fact, I’m a bit overwhelmed by my choices.

I look up and over toward the counter, opening my mouth in a silent, plaintive cry for help, though the employee pays me no mind. So, I begin scanning the titles, occasionally glancing up or meandering back and forth through the section. The shop girl doesn’t bother to come over and ask me if I need help, though she does look up from her phone now and then, eyeing me warily as if she thinks I’m a shoplifter plotting a heist. Sure, my whole purpose in coming here was to see how many thick, dusty books I could shove under my shirt and escape with.

While I’m perusing the selection, I hear the door bell jingle again, but I don’t pay any attention to whoever it was who entered. Instead, I pluck a particularly thick guide book off one of the shelves and after a glance at the title, turn it open to somewhere in the middle and start looking at the pictures.

I feel a presence approaching me, though I don’t look up.

“Excuse the interruption,” a quiet, melodic voice says, “but I don’t think you want that one.”

“Why not?” I ask distractedly, still without looking up. When I finally do look up, I’m stricken by the prettiest face and the loveliest set of gray eyes I’ve ever encountered.

“Well, that’s an extreme survival guide,” the young woman standing before me points out. “See?” She flips the book back to its cover, grazing my hand in the process (it tingles pleasantly) and taps the subtitle. Sure enough, she’s right.

“Uh, um, yeah, I see,” I stammer like a fool.

I don’t even know which way is up right now, and my jaw must have hit the floor. This woman is simply so…so breathtaking. Seriously, I can hardly breathe around her. She’s petite and comely with sleek dark hair pulled back into a braid and smooth, flawless olive skin. She’s dressed in a fitted, long-sleeved green shirt, black jeans and jacket, and boots. Her look is so refreshingly different from any other girl I’ve known or dated; she’s the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.

“I take it you’re a beginner,” she ventures, the hint of a smirk playing on her lips. When I say nothing, she goes on. “I mean, if you’re looking for books and all.” She pauses. “…Maybe I’m wrong, though.” She gives me a quick once-over, or possibly, I’m hallucinating right now. “You look like you’re in pretty good shape.”

My lips curl up at that, and though it’s dumb, I poke out my chest slightly.

“You appear to have strong shoulders and arms. Do you climb?” The pretty woman presses her soft pink lips together and blinks sweetly, innocently, and I think I might melt into a puddle at her feet.

“No, I bake,” I say. Good one, Peet. “Lugging 100-pound sacks of flour around all day is bound to develop the arms and shoulders.” I chuckle.

Nice one. I sound as though that’s my entire job. Is that supposed to impress her or something?

“Oh?” I think I catch a glint in her eye as if that intrigues her. Okay, so maybe she’s into baking…or feats of baking strength?

As for me, I’m totally smitten. I must have the goofiest expression on my face.

“Uh, I’m sorry,” she goes on to say, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “That was forward, what I said before. I should really learn to filter what I say.”

I chuckle in what I believe to be a good-natured way, but she must think I’m making fun of her, because her eyes narrow slightly. I stop laughing and thin out my smile. “I’m sorry, don’t apologize.” I shake my head. “I…I appreciate the compliment, actually. And you got me.” Boy, does she ever! Yeah right, Mellark! You wish! “I don’t have any outdoor experience; I’m basically a virgin.”

The gorgeous girl’s eyes go wide, then shoot away, and I think I notice a hint of pink to her cheeks. What the hell did I just say? My mouth drops open at my own idiocy, and I follow the girl’s line of sight over to the front counter. Of course, now the employee is paying attention, her small shoulders shaking in silent laughter.

“Uhh, I mean, an outdoor virgin, that is!” I palm my face and scrub my hand ultra-slowly down it.

“Oh, I see.” She glimpses me from beneath her dark eyelashes. She’s so damn adorable I can’t stand it. “Well, in that case, If you’ll allow me…I think I can help.”

I grin widely. “I’ll allow it.”

She turns around, and I follow her down the aisle like a puppy dog, doing my best to keep my eyes up and not watch her slender yet shapely hips gently sway or ogle her cute, round rear.

“So, what are you looking for?” she asks, looking back at me.

“Huh?” I’m caught off guard again. I snap my eyes, which were wavering somewhere around her low back, up to meet hers, and get my bearings. “Oh, uh, just some camping and lowkey hiking books.”

She nods. “I know just the ones.”

I stand back as she runs a finger along a row of books. I should do something other than stand here like an idiot, help or talk, or something.

Name. Name would be good.

“I’m Peeta,” I say. “Peeta Mellark.” She looks back at me. “Not like the bread.” And like a dork, I spell it for her.

“I’m Katniss. Katniss Everdeen.” She grins. “With a K, not like the animal.”

“Like the flower,” I insert.

“Yeah,” she replies, a surprised, pleased inflection to her voice.

“Wow,” I breathe. “That’s pretty.” I smile at her.

Katniss smiles shyly back and tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

Then, Katniss‒God, that really is a pretty name, almost as pretty as her‒turns around again and resolutely resumes her search. She pulls two books off the shelf and hands them back to me, then looks up. She reaches for one on a higher shelf, and when she does, her shirt rides up a bit, revealing more of that gorgeous olive skin as well as ink. She has a tattoo on her low back, of flowers. I recognize them from a botanical art book I used to sketch from‒katniss flowers and evening primrose. The katniss flowers I get, since that’s her name, but is there a significance behind the primroses?

She’s struggling to get the book. I should help her, rather than make her reach. I come closer, my front barely grazing her back, and I raise my arm over her head to grab the book she’s almost got a hold of. I place my hand over hers on top of the spine. She stiffens but doesn’t move away.

After several seconds, to my chagrin, she slips her hand out from under mine.

“Sorry,” I whisper, snatching the book. “Is this the one you were going for?”

“Yes,” she squeaks. And she moves away from me and folds her arms across her chest.

Great. I’ve made her uncomfortable. She must think I’m a creep!

I consider apologizing again but think better of it; instead, I decide simply to change the subject. “I really appreciate your help,” I tell her. “My son’s really into camping and the outdoors right now, and I want to take him, and also not embarrass myself.”

“Oh, your son?” Do I detect a hint of disappointment on her face and in her tone? Nah. Probably just wishful thinking on my part.

If she was disappointed, she recovers quickly. “How old is your son?” she asks.

“Seven,” I say.

“Okay. Well, in addition to the adult guide books I just gave you, there are some great children’s books, informational and storybooks, too.”

“Do you work here or something?” I tease, a touch of a laugh in my voice.

“No, just spend a lot of time here. I like reading.”

“That’s great.” She bobs her head, and when she turns around again, I sigh. Another good one. I’m sure I’m well on my way to sweeping this girl right off her feet, I think sarcastically.

“There’s this storybook I love…” Katniss beckons me, and once more, I immediately follow. “I enjoyed it as a kid and even as an adult. It’s a really touching story. I used to read it to my sister.”

“Sounds great.” She doesn’t say anything to that; she’s become even more quiet, and she keeps on walking. “Thank you, again, for doing this.”

“No problem,” she tosses back.

Along the way to the children’s section, she slips two more books off the shelves and hands them to me. Then she turns around to face me, explaining a few things about which sections are most useful for beginners to focus on.

“You sure know a lot about this,” I comment, giving her my friendliest smile.

She smiles faintly back. “Yeah, I have read those, and they’re good; although, I do think learning by doing is the best way. I go out into the woods regularly. At least once a week. Several times if I can. For hunting, hiking, camping, whatever.”

“I’ll bet you’re good at all that,” I say, this time cocking my head and tossing her a lopsided grin which is definitely more flirty. She blinks a few times, then glances down at her boots as she fidgets with her braid.

Ugh. Why do I feel like I’ve lost every bit of my mojo? Not like I was a Casanova, but I feel like I used to be much better at talking to women. I guess I’m out of practice, and my confidence is shot. I’ve managed to collect the broken pieces of my heart and somewhat put it back together again, but I haven’t dated much since Delly. A few feeble attempts, set-ups mostly, where I either didn’t connect with the woman or lost my nerve.

And it doesn’t help that this woman is a freaking goddess. As it is, I’m off in my head, imagining her in one of those white, flowing dresses goddesses wear. Hers would show just a hint of cleavage, but would be tasteful, as I picture her as the pure type. I see her as one of those woodland goddesses, sweet and strong and mighty, a goddess of the hunt, perhaps.

Yep, I’m definitely a goner.

At least I seem to be having some kind of impact on her, too. I think she’s shy, though. Hopefully, I’m not taking it too far.

“So, you go alone? To the woods?” I’m partially asking out of concern for her safety‒it can be dangerous being out in the wilderness alone, for anyone, man or woman‒but yeah, it’s also a shameless ploy to find out if she’s single.

“Um, yeah. I used to go with,” she hesitates, “someone…But now I go alone.”

Oh, so maybe she is single?

Do not, I repeat, do not ask her if her boyfriend worries about her going out in the woods alone or some crap like that. Absolutely do not go there.

“How’s your son at reading?” Katniss asks out of the blue. And I’m thankful she spoke up before I could do something stupid like pry into her personal life.

We’re at the Children’s section now.

“He’s average to advanced,” I say. “He’s really a smart, clever kid, and I’m not just saying that because I’m his dad and I’m biased.” I grin, and Katniss smiles at me. “Right now, he’s reading at one level past where he’s supposed to be,” I explain.

“That’s great,” she says. “So, this storybook I think he might like… It might be slightly above his level, but sounds like he could handle it, and if not, you could always read it to him. It’s about a boy named Ben…”

“Oh my god, that’s my son’s name!” I exclaim, entirely too excited. Katniss grins widely.

“Perfect,” she says. “Well, this boy, Ben, who lives on the edge of a forest, goes out into the wilderness on his own to gather medicinal herbs and berries to make medicine for his sick grandmother…the information about the plants in the book is accurate, by the way, but make sure to give your son the disclaimer about not trying it on his own‒plants, berries, and mushrooms can be toxic or even deadly, and it’s easy to get them confused.”

“Got it.” I nod.

“Well, anyway, Ben has a great adventure. There’s some danger along the way but also magic. He meets some talking animals, who help him, and of course, Ben puts his knowledge of survival skills, taught to him by his father, to good use.”

“Sounds great. I’m sure he’ll love it.” I beam at Katniss, and my eyes must sparkle with something akin to adoration for her, a feeling which is becoming nearly impossible for me to hide. She shyly glances away, nibbling enticingly on her lower lip.

“I’ll…” Katniss tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and I take a chance and step a bit closer to her. She shifts and bounces lightly on the balls of her feet. “I’ll…check and see if it’s here.” She moves away from me too speedily for my liking in search of the book. She seems to go directly to the exact spot where the book is located‒she certainly must spend a lot of time here.

“Oh, darn,” she mutters. “Looks like it’s not here.”

“It’s okay, Katniss.”

“It is very popular,” she mutters to herself, ignoring me entirely and heading up to the front desk to inquire with the spiky-haired, slightly intimidating girl. Katniss greets the employee familiarly by name‒Jo, she calls her‒and asks about the children’s book entitled: Benjamin the Brave.

I hear Jo clack at her computer keys, then tell Katniss that it’s out of stock but she can get it. I wind my way over to Katniss, catching a bit of Jo teasing Katniss about…me, I think…something about finding something else she’s looking for instead, in a suggestive manner, and I have to fight my grin. However, I can’t tell if Katniss is acting mortified because she’s shy or because she thinks I’m as attractive as a dead slug.

I clear my throat, interrupting the two, and Katniss explains the situation to me, though I’ve already heard. I tell them I plan to come back and order it for my son’s birthday.

I’ve set my books down on the counter, and I know this is a risky venture, but I ask Jo to hold them for me while I look around some more. With a smirk, she snarks that she’ll guard them with her life. I side-eye her, the corner of my lip curling, then follow Katniss to…wherever she’s going now.

I’m pretty sure I’d follow her to the ends of the earth.

Although, she’s only heading over to the Nature section again, and that’s not far.

Along the way, I see her stumble.

“Katniss?” Concerned, I quickly jog over to her, just in time for her to collapse. “Katniss!” I exclaim.

Fortunately, I’m able to reach out and catch her in my arms. I gently lower her to the floor with me and lay her head in my lap. Still conscious but peaked, she stares up at me, and if I wasn’t so concerned with her health right now, I’d be in heaven just looking in those eyes.

“Katniss!” Jo, likewise, calls out and comes rushing over.

“Uh, umm…” Katniss’s eyes dart confusedly from side to side; then she focuses back up on me. “I’m sorry…thank you.”

“It’s okay. You’re welcome.” I smile affectionately down at her. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I think I just got a bit dehydrated. I’ll be fine.” Katniss goes to slide her head off my lap, but I hold onto her arms.

“No, don’t get up yet,” I say, gently but insistently. “Take your time. Go slowly.” Why do I feel like my advice is as much for my benefit as hers? Because, admittedly, I’m enjoying having this lovely lady’s head in my lap.

“I agree with Blondie.” Jo, who is kneeling down beside Katniss now, pokes her arm. “Stay down,” she hisses.

Katniss huffs. “This isn’t necessary, you two.”

Jo snorts. “It is necessary. What the hell, Brainless? Did you overdo it today? Were you on your feet all day? Did you go to the woods? Try to climb a tree?”

“I…yeah, I went to the woods, but I didn’t climb a tree,” she says.

Jo heaves a sigh, her breath spritzing me in the face. “You shouldn’t be doing that in your condition.”

In her condition?

Katniss scowls at Jo and hisses a sarcastic “Thanks a lot,” then looks up at me, her expression a mix between distressed and apologetic.

“I’m…I’m, uh, pregnant,” she says.

“Oh,” is my stupid reply. I did not expect that; I never would have guessed as there’s no visible baby bump‒her abdomen is perfectly flat. Either she’s not very far along or is just a super skinny girl.

Well, damn. There goes that dream down the toilet. She probably has a really handsome, doting husband at home who’s going to be as furious as Jo that she went to the woods today, in her condition. And to think I thought she might actually be flirting with me! Stupid! I really have lost all my skill with women.

Jo continues to rail on Katniss. “Do I need to call Gale‒?” she begins.

“No!” Katniss snaps, throwing her the filthiest look I’ve ever seen. Even though she’s clearly angry, I can’t help but find that dirty look cute, and kind of arousing…

Get it together, Peeta! This poor woman is lying in your lap on the floor, and you’re getting turned on by her scowl? What the hell’s the matter with you?

And then there’s this Gale Jo spoke of.

Gale must be her husband, or boyfriend. Well, I don’t know him, but I already hate him‒only because I’m insanely jealous.

“Gale doesn’t care about me,” she mutters.

Huh?

“Yeah, well, fuck him,” spats Jo. “Wasn’t really going to call him, unless it’s to get him down here, so I can beat his ass.”

“Don’t do that,” she mumbles weakly. She gives Jo a faint smile before squeezing her eyes shut. “I can take care of myself, anyway.”

“Then do it!” Katniss’s eyes snap open, and she looks up at her friend. “And if you won’t listen to me, maybe Blondie here can convince you…”

Jo turns to me, and I’m at a loss. I have no idea what’s going on or why I’m being implicated in this, but I suddenly realize I’ve been affectionately stroking back Katniss’s sweaty hair.

And it’s bliss.

And she doesn’t seem to mind one bit.

“Blondie, tell Brainless here that when you’re pregnant, you can’t push yourself as far as you normally would.”

Why does she think I would know anything about that? Even though, I do.

“Why would I listen to him?” Katniss snips. I’m not offended because I can tell she’s only saying it in defiance of Jo.

“Ohh, I dunno, maybe because you think he’s a fine piece of ass.”

My eyes go wide, and I blink rapidly. A stupid grin forms on my face. Really? Does she really think that? And how does Jo know? I need confirmation.

“Shut up.” Katniss glares over at Jo, then mutters half under her breath, “I hate you…”

“Love you, too, bitch.” Jo smirks impishly.

Well, I don’t like this Jo calling Katniss a bitch, but it kind of seems like their dynamic…?

Jo’s expression hardens, then, and she appears ready to go off on another tirade. Katniss seems to notice the storm brewing, too, for she looks up at me so helplessly my heart clenches in my chest.

And so, I send Jo off to fetch some water for Katniss. She could probably use it, and well, Katniss certainly seemed to want to get rid of her.

“You alright?” I ask once Jo is gone. “Feeling any better?” I continue stroking her hair. She hums contentedly at my ministrations and even shuts her eyes.

“Better, yes,” she murmurs.

Her eyes flutter open a few seconds later. “Much better now that she’s gone. What she said…” Katniss looks timidly up at me, and I smile.

“It’s okay,” I say. “No need to explain. Just relax.” She smiles softly, and her eyelashes flutter, her heavy-looking lids closing again.

Five or so minutes later, Katniss is seated in a cushy armchair in the empty Children’s section with a mug of water in her hand. I’m on the floor in front of her with my legs tucked under, looking up at her as if I’m a child and she’s about to read me a story.

Well, she is about to tell me one‒the story of her pregnancy.

Katniss takes a deep breath and begins. “My ex-boyfriend, Gale, never wanted to get married,” she tells me. “He didn’t want kids, either. Both our fathers died in a mining accident when we were young. I was 11; he was 13.”

I insert my sincere condolences, even if it is way after the fact.

She thanks me flatly and goes on to say, “My mother shut down after that, and I basically raised my younger sister, Prim. Likewise, Gale raised his two younger brothers and younger sister. His mother didn’t have a mental breakdown, or whatever you want to call it, like my mother did, but they were poor, like us, and his mother was working a lot, so he was usually the one feeding and taking care of his siblings. He and I used to go hunting to provide extra meat for our families, and when he was old enough, he went to work in the mines, too. Anyway, when I recently accidentally got pregnant, he said he didn’t want to raise another kid, said he couldn’t do it again; he wanted to focus on his life.”

“Wow, that’s‒” Selfish. Terrible… I could insert quite a few adjectives here, but I don’t know how Katniss would feel about me bashing her ex. Not only do I barely know her, but I’ve learned that no matter how bad an ex is, and even if your friend or partner is bashing them, too, it’s dangerous to join in. Sometimes they end up reconciling, and then they’re mad at you for what you said… Besides, I don’t like to judge people, or talk about them behind their backs, and what Katniss and her ex and their families went through was clearly a horrible ordeal. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that. And that you’re going through this, alone.”

“Oh, I’m not entirely alone. I’m not too far along, but I’ve already been getting help from family and friends. As you can see, some of them…have a penchant to hover and be overprotective.”

I grin. “Maybe that’s okay. Just means they care. I mean, I know I would…” I stop myself quickly.

She flushes.

“I guess so. It is nice. And I mean, even though I understood Gale’s feelings, I do kind of resent him for ditching me in this. It’s only gonna get harder.”

“Well,” I begin tentatively. “If you ever need any advice, I know a lot about pregnancy and birth. It’s only fair that I help you out the way you helped me out.”

For a second, I think I’ve gone too far, but then she gives me a smile so genuinely warm and grateful and sweet that I feel my insides liquify.

I decide to tell her my sob story, then, which is not nearly as sad as hers, though she seems troubled by it, even perturbed. While I appreciate her sympathy, I feel kind of bad‒my story is nothing compared to hers, although it’s not a comparison.

I switch gears and ask her about her pregnancy so far, if she wants to tell me. And surprisingly, she does want to talk about it.

We talk for some time while she sips at her mug of water, and I’m shocked when she asks me to join her at the coffee/tea shop next door. I practically beg her to stay before going up to order for us‒I suppose I have some abandonment issues; plus, I still can’t believe this beautiful woman is into me. Thankfully, she’s still there when I return with our tea‒a special raspberry leaf medicinal pregnancy tea she likes from there (with plenty of sugar) for her, and a green tea with no sugar for me.

We chat for a while longer; then she tells me she needs to go. I feel my stomach drop out as if I’m making the first descent on a roller coaster. This could be it. What if I never see her again? Aside from lurking around the bookstore, which would be incredibly creepy, I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to lose her, so, I take a risk and ask for her number‒you know, just in case I need more camping advice or she needs pregnancy advice. I’m fully prepared to be metaphorically shot down by her arrow, but to my great surprise, and elation, she gives it to me.

—– I’m giddy after meeting Katniss, actually giddy. I’ve never been this excited after meeting a woman, and I’ve never felt such a connection with a female since Delly. Maybe never, period. Somehow, this thing between Katniss and me feels so much more powerful than what I had with Delly. Maybe it’s simply the newness of it.

But after feeling so miserable for years, that’s a real feat. It’s such a strange sensation to feel so happy again when I never thought I could, aside from the moment my son was born and having a relationship with him, but I do. I’m hopeful. Maybe this could be real. Maybe Katniss Everdeen could even be ‘The One.’

Although, I’m scared. I’d thought Delly was ‘The One’ once, but clearly, she wasn’t. Or, maybe it doesn’t always work out with ‘the One.’ People are only human, after all. And maybe there can even be more than one ‘One.’ I don’t really know because I’m far more cynical than I used to be. All I know is, I can’t and won’t let Katniss go, so long as she wants me, too.

I don’t call her that night, even though I’m dying to, because I don’t want to seem too eager or desperate. I do, however, tell Ben about the pretty lady I met at the bookstore‒I simply can’t contain it any longer. I need to talk about her. I’m bursting with joy and hope, which I can tell Ben picks up on‒he’s a very empathetic child and has always been very attuned to my and other’s emotions.

I don’t often do this, but I ask him to keep it a secret from his mother. She’ll be all up in my business if and when she finds out.

Surely, she’ll be finding out eventually, though, because I’m planning for Katniss to be in my life.

I call my beautiful huntress three days later, and I swear Katniss sighs into the phone when she hears my voice. She’s been waiting for my call, which I discover later, after we’ve been talking for nearly a month. She even tells me she nearly demanded to know that day why I waited so long to call. And I can’t believe my luck. It seems I do have an effect on her the same way she does on me‒perhaps not to the same extent.

Katniss and I talk on the phone or text and get to know one another, regularly meeting up for lunch or a drink: chamomile or low-caffeine teas or juice, and hot cocoa, a favorite of hers, when the weather turns cooler. We do this for about six months before taking things any further. Trust me, it hasn’t been easy to wait, but I wanted Katniss to feel ready‒I think I was ready for her from the start.

I talk frequently about my lady friend to Ben, but I don’t introduce them just yet.

Katniss and I start dating right around Thanksgiving. I certainly know what I’m thankful for this year. Every year, it’s Ben, of course, but this year, I have two.

I’m insatiable for Katniss, though, because our relationship is new, and because of our slightly complicated situation (really, only in her mind), we take things slow. Regardless, it’s incredible. She’s incredible.

When I do introduce Katniss to Ben not long after, as my girlfriend, he adores her. He’s shy and intimidated by her at first, even whispers to me about how pretty she is, but once she starts talking about the woods, he’s a goner for her‒same as I was that very first day. If that wasn’t enough, she cinches his esteem and affection by gifting him the book she told me about, Benjamin the Brave.

We give it to him together, as a birthday gift, and that night, we take turns reading it to him.

Against my better judgment, I decide to bring Katniss to my family Thanksgiving. And it’s kind of a small disaster. Delly is there with Ben, being nosy about my new girlfriend, and over a ton of food, there are whisperings (most not-so-subtle) about Katniss’s condition. It’s pretty obvious she’s pregnant.

It goes well enough for a while, though. Katniss is nuts over the food, especially the baked goods. I remind her that I come from a long line of bakers, so they should be incomparable.

The cat is finally let out of the bag when my middle brother, Rye, being the moron he is, outright asks me if my girlfriend is pregnant or if she’s just a little chubby. I nearly hurl my fork at his head.

Katniss excuses herself, then, and I follow to check on her. I catch up to her outside the bathroom. She’s a tad emotional, though not crying, just shaking a bit and wearing a sort of deer in headlights, panicked expression. I hug her tightly and promise to beat the crap out of my brother. She tells me it’s not that, that she’s just feeling overwhelmed and uncertain. I ask her if she wants to go, and she says no. I ask her what I can do to make it better, and she proceeds to tell me we should just get it over with, and tell my family everything right now.

And so, we got back, and I get everyone’s attention. I clear my throat and prepare to make a little speech…

“This is my girlfriend, Katniss,” I begin. “She’s 27 years old. She loves reading, camping, hiking, and hunting. She loves drinking herbal tea with tons of sugar and hot cocoa. She adores my cheese buns.” I smile sappily over at her, and she smiles right back at me. “Yes, she’s pregnant. No, it’s not my baby. She was pregnant when I met her, and I think she was very brave to do it without a partner for a while. But I don’t want her to be without one anymore. I won’t let her be. I’m madly in love with her, and I’m going to stay by her side through all of it.”

The last part of my statement clearly hits Delly, and I wonder what she’s thinking. From her raised brow and slack jaw, I imagine she’s shocked I’d do such a thing. She should know better, though. If I was willing to be there for the woman who cheated on me, why wouldn’t I be there for the woman I’m in love with, who’s been nothing but devoted to me? One might say, well, that was your child and this isn’t. But that doesn’t matter to me. I’m already hopelessly attached and in love with Katniss’s unborn child, same as I am with her, and maybe it’s too soon to even be thinking this, but if she’ll have me, I hope to one day call Katniss’s baby mine, too.

“Well, you sure summed that up, didn’t you?” Katniss whispers.

“I, uh…” I open my mouth, then snap it shut. “Is there…anything I need to apologize for?” I ask.

Katniss smirks slightly and shakes her head. “No, I think you said it just right. Succinct. Couldn’t have done better myself.”

I’m so relieved she’s not angry that I chuckle and lean over and kiss her cheek. I don’t care that they’re all watching. I’d plant one one her lips right now if my son weren’t watching. But Ben doesn’t say yuck or cover his eyes or look away, like most boys his age would; instead, he gives me a smile and a little thumbs-up. I always knew my son was something special.

I lean over again and whisper “I love you” in Katniss’s ear. Then I nip her earlobe, and she giggles. She looks into my eyes, and even though I’m not expecting anything, again, I’m hopeful.

“I love you, too,” she whispers back, and my heart nearly bursts from happiness.

I ask her to move in with me two weeks later, and she surprises me yet again by saying yes.

Another utterly perfect, exquisite being comes into this world on January 1st, a tiny, dark-haired girl with olive skin and gray eyes, who looks almost exactly like Katniss. We call her Serene, short for Serendipity. —– The following Thanksgiving, we’re headed to dinner with my family, this time with our 10-month-old daughter‒yes, we consider her ‘our’ daughter, even though she’s not biologically mine‒in tow.

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #autumn #autumn 2021 #jhsgf82 #submission #prompt

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

Photo

Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch are slowly becoming a proper team! No more secrets! (for the most part)

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and (many) random thoughts on chapters 4-6 are below the cut.

heart

Losing that comfort of sleeping in each other’s arms after the Victory Tour must have been hard for Katniss and Peeta! Up until Katniss hurts her ankle, they probably didn’t really do much about it, just trying to make it through on their own... After she hurt her ankle and Peeta’s spending more time over at her place, I can easily imagine him staying over, at least until she’s fallen asleep, which might help a little... Since they are living only three houses apart from each other, I like to imagine that they can see each other’s bedroom windows from their bedroom (how else would Katniss know that Peeta sleeps with the windows open? I can’t really imagine that they would be able to open the windows of the train they were on - y’know, for “safety reasons” (i.e. making sure nobody can escape)); maybe they’d both light a candle and put it by their window, as a signal they are going to sleep... It’s not the same, but it helps a little

mind

I mean, aside from the systemic rigging of the reaping system (i.e. poorer people generally having more entries, so they can have some food), I can easily imagine there being a manipulation of the “odds” when someone becomes too vocal or troublesome for the local authorities, such as someone trying to unionize a district’s workforce, for example

soul

In the districts, their impact has to be big - their win alone was a huge defiance of the Games as they used to be... sticking together and sticking up for each other ultimately led to them defeating the Capitol’s rules! In-between the Games and the Victory Tour I don’t think there was much noteworthy going on (although maybe the fact that, so far, none of the new victors’ loved ones had been hurt - Prim, Mrs. E., but also Gale and his family would be visible during the celebrations, I’m sure, same probably goes for the Mellark’s - might tell the people in the district that Snow and his cronies were aware of the attention any assassination attempt would gather and that this, in turn, might actually could become the last straw that would spark a revolution. In a way, that was proof that the people on top were at least a little afraid of what the people in the districts would do...) And then, especially during the visit of D11, with Katniss expressing her thanks and Peeta reaching out to share their winnings with the people from D11, another district than their own - it must have provided a lot of inspiration, I’m sure.

As for the Capitolites, maybe some of them would notice for once how unhappy/riled up the people in some of the districts were... or at least stop to think about how this time, a show of love and companionship actually provided more “entertainment” and intrigue than the brutal gore and bloodshed from previous Games (also, longer lasting - there is actually much more “story” to be had from the star-crossed lovers from D12 than from any individual winner of previous Games, if you think about it... Their “love story” is still on-going, with an upcoming wedding and the promise of a family... it’s still creepy and voyeuristic as hell, though)

Chapter 4

Everything he [Haymitch] said was true about the Capitol’s expectations, my future with Peeta, even his last comment. Of course, I could do a lot worse than Peeta. That isn’t really the point, though, is it? One of the few freedoms we have in District 12 is the right to marry who we want or not marry at all. And now even that has been taken away from me. - God, this sucks so much! As Katniss rightly points out, her misery isn’t about Peeta at all - it’s about her (and also his, just pointing that out) agency being taken away! She’s being stripped even of that little sliver of agency that inhabitants of D12 usually have (choice of whom to marry, or whether to marry at all)

I wonder if President Snow will insist we have children. - Eugh, just the idea of Snow being the one to have the last word on that subject... 🤢 The invasion of privacy here... - The only person who should get to decide whether Katniss should have children or not is Katniss herself! Period!

My mind searches frantically for a way out. I can’t let President Snow condemn me to this. Even if it means taking my own life. Before that, though, I’d try to run away. - Boy, Katniss is even contemplating taking her own life, rather than to submit to the life the Capitol wants to force on her; it’s not her first choice (she’d rather run away), but it shows the desperation she’s feeling

Could I even manage to take everyone I love with me, start a new life deep in the wild? Highly unlikely but not impossible. - Later we will see that Peeta and Haymitch also belong into the category of “people Katniss loves” 😊(as well as her family, Gale, and his fam, of course)

“And Peeta’s team is probably still asleep.” “Doesn’t he need prepping?” I ask. “Not the way you do,” Effie replies. What does this mean? It means I get to spend the morning having the hair ripped off my body while Peeta sleeps in. I hadn’t thought about it much, but in the arena at least some of the boys got to keep their body hair whereas none of the girls did. - Gotta love that everlasting sexism that, even far into the future, still won’t allow women to have frickin’ body hair (y’know, like most humans do 🙄)

I can remember Peeta’s now, as I bathed him by the stream. Very blond in the sunlight, once the mud and blood had been washed away. Only his face remained completely smooth. Not one of the boys grew a beard, and many were old enough to. I wonder what they did to them. - Katniss seems to have committed every single detail about Peeta to her memory, including how his body hair looked when she cleaned him in the last Games... okay 👀😏 On a more somber note, what is it that the Capitol is doing to these poor kids?! The boys couldn’t grow beards and - I’m assuming - the girls wouldn’t get their periods while in the arena (since the Games can last for weeks, it would be a huge disadvantage if any of the girls also had to content with cramps + periods - aside from worrying about getting murdered, I mean); it’s such a violation of one’s autonomy over one’s own body, yikes

Flavius tilts up my chin and sighs. “It’s a shame Cinna said no alterations on you.” “Yes, we could really make you something special,” says Octavia. “When she’s older,” says Venia almost grimly. “Then he’ll have to let us.” - Eeek, no thanks!😦 And frankly, it really shouldn’t be Cinna’s call to make but, y’know, Katniss’s!!! I don’t know, I get real panick-y just reading this exchange (I have never even gotten my ears pierced - my mom wouldn’t let them be pierced until I could make my own decision on that subject matter and as someone with skin issues and bad experiences with needles, I really don’t feel the need to have any unnecessary metal inserted into my body, so... I’m good)

His [Peeta’s] apology takes me by surprise. It’s true that Peeta froze me out after I confessed that my love for him during the Game was something of an act. But I don’t hold it against him. [...] “I’m sorry, too,” I say. [...] “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. You were keeping us alive.” - That apology of Peeta’s... *chef’s kiss*; it was totally understandable that Peeta was upset and needed some time apart from Katniss after her confession, which had caught him completely by surprise, not even Katniss blames him for that... But his apology shows that he really made use of their time apart to work out his emotions and to reflect on both their situations - that’s some emotional maturity to be envious of! Plus, his apology is a good move to get their communication channel opened up again

It would be nice if he’d come to me with this earlier, before I knew that President Snow had other plans and just being friends was not an option for us anymore. But either way, I’m glad we’re speaking again. - Come on, Katniss, cut this boy some slack! He can’t read minds - how is he supposed to know about these things if you don’t tell him anything? It’s nice that you’re glad that you guys are on speaking terms again, but communication isn’t a one-way street, y’know?

I remember the tiger lily cookie and, now that Peeta is talking to me again, it’s all I can do not to recount the whole story about President Snow. But I know Haymitch wouldn’t want me to. I’d better stick to small talk. - Katniss really should have listened to her instincts here - Haymitch might have a better idea of how the Games/Capitol works, but he knows little about teamwork, which is an important factor in their specific (and unprecedented!) situation; I’m not blaming Katniss for relying on her mentor here, but this entire approach is going to crash and burn in the next chapter

It’s good to feel his fingers entwined with mine again, not for show but in actual friendship. We walk back to the train hand in hand. - Not to say that you can’t have friendships where you frequently hold hands - you totally can - but it is noteworthy that I don’t think I can recall Katniss holding hands with any of her other friends... (somehow, I can’t really picture Katniss holding hands with Gale casually like that... nor with Madge or Finnick later on)

At the door, I remember, “I’ve got to apologize to Effie first.” “Don’t be afraid to lay it on thick,” Peeta tells me.- There is something about this exchange that speaks to me... maybe because it reads like some sort of an inside joke between them? Or because it shows that, despite being on good terms with Effie, Peeta’s totally aware of how high-maintenance/over the top Effie is... I dunno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Peeta has painted the Games. Some you wouldn’t get right away, if you hadn’t been with him in the arena yourself. Water dripping through the cracks in our cave. The dry pond bed. [...] Others any viewer would recognize. The golden horn called the Cornucopia. [...] And me. I am everywhere. [...] “What do you think?” he asks. “I hate them,” I say. I can almost smell the blood, the dirt, the unnatural breath of the mutt. - These are the pieces Peeta meant to exhibit in the Capitol, right? I wonder if he hoped that these paintings of his impressions/memories of the Games might actually connect with some Capitolites and might even move them to feel some empathy for the Tributes? Maybe he hoped that they would be more receptive for that kind of thing if he packaged it in art?

“All I do is go around trying to forget the arena and you’ve brought it back to life. How do you remember these things so exactly?” “I see them every night,” he says. [...] “Me too. Does it help? To paint them out?” “I don’t know. I think I’m a little less afraid of going to sleep at night, or I tell myself I am,” he says. “But they haven’t gone anywhere.” - I do wonder, whether and how painting out these moments could have therapeutic value for Peeta - on the one hand, the act of painting out specific intrusions/flashbacks might be helpful because he’d end up focusing on the more technical side of painting, y’know? Focussing on mixing the right shade of a certain color might help create some emotional distance from the moment itself... also, since painting usually takes some time, Peeta would actually spend a considerable amount of time facing these moments head on, rather than trying to avoid them (avoidance tends to increase the frequency of flashback/intrusions) and maybe spending so much time on them could also help him contextualize them within the broader narrative of his life, which is the basic principle behind Narrative Exposure Therapy, which is said to be pretty effective at treating PTSD... just my two cents

I can’t believe the size of District 11. “How many people do you think live here?” Peeta asks. I shake my head. In school they refer to it as a large district, that’s all. No actual figures on the population. - Perfect example of how tightly the Capitol controls the information the people in the districts have about the other districts... which is basically nothing. Let’s keep them in the dark so they are less likely to connect with each other and band together...

Cinna comes in with a pretty orange frock patterned with autumn leaves. I think how much Peeta will like the color. - Lol, Katniss bringing everything back to Peeta because she definitely hasn’t a crush on the guy, I see 😉

And then he [Peeta] hesitates before adding something that wasn’t written on the card. Maybe because he thought Effie might make him remove it. “It can in no way replace your losses, but as a token of our thanks we’d like for each of the tributes’ families from District Eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives.” - Peeta, the rebel! Talk about an act of radical kindness! I’m so proud of him. But also, I think this is another excellent example of how he and Katniss are on the same wavelength (this took me some time to find, but here you go): I silently say good-bye to Thresh and thank him for my life. I promise to remember him and, if I can, do something to help his family and Rue’s, if I win. (Ch. 23, THG)

I look at Peeta and he gives me a sad smile. I hear Haymitch’s voice. “You could do a lot worse.” At this moment, it’s impossible to imagine how I could do any better. The gift... it is perfect. So when I rise up on tiptoe to kiss him, it doesn’t seem forced at all. - Peeta: does anything that exemplifies his sense of morality; Katniss: *swoons* - but honestly, it is so beautiful how Katniss is so attracted to Peeta’s goodness and kind heart - it also tells us a lot about her (she is quite pure, as Peeta will point out later in this book) and what she values

“Wait, please.” I don’t know how to start, but once I do, the words rush from my lips as if they’ve been forming in the back of my mind for a long time. - And then Katniss launches into one of her spontaneous, heart-felt, and inspiring speeches/acts, expressing her thanks, sympathy, and a sense of kinship with people beyond the borders of her district, beyond the superficial barriers the Capitol has been trying to maintain in order to weaken the ‘common folk‘ and keep the exploitation going

The full impact of what I’ve done hits me. It was not intentional - I only meant to express my thanks - but I have elicited something dangerous. An act of dissent from the people of District 11. - Again, Katniss has done something that will solidify her as a symbol of the revolution without intending to do so and that’s the point, I think - she inspires people through her genuine displays of caring for others (which, in Panem, is already rebellious on its own)

Chapter 5

“We’re going!” says Peeta, shoving the Peacekeeper who’s pressing on me. “We get it, all right? Come on, Katniss.” His arm encircles me and guides me back into the Justice Building. - Protective Peeta! Also, I think it’s interesting to note the wording of Peeta’s arms “encircling” Katniss and then “guiding” her - his arms surround her, and he’s leading her away from harm (at least to the extent that is in his power - can’t really be safe from harm in Panem, can you?), but it doesn’t seem smothering or oppressive to Katniss in any way -”guide” has more of a connotation of giving direction without force, imo; in contrast, when Katniss talked about her kiss with Gale she mentions she’d never imagined how those hands [...] could as easily entrap me. (Ch. 2, CF); granted, these are two very different situations - the phrasing just stood out to me

“What happened?” Effie hurries over. “We lost the feed just after Katniss’s beautiful speech, and then Haymitch said he thought he heard gun fire, and I said it was ridiculous, but who knows? There are lunatics everywhere!” - Very telling how a clueless Capitolite like Effie wouldn’t register the rebellious aspect of Katniss’s speech; by keeping the Capitolites in the depths of sweet, sweet ignorance while simultaneously harshly trying to curb any spark of rebellion by cutting off the feed, the government is actually drawing the attention of the ignorant Capitolites to the act of rebellion itself (and also letting the people in the districts know that there was something censor-worthy going on); kind of shooting themselves in the foot here

As far as I know, Haymitch has only been here once, when he was on his Victory Tour decades ago. But he must have a remarkable memory or reliable instincts, because he leads us up through a maze of twisting staricases and increasingly narrow halls. [...] Eventually we climb a ladder to a trapdoor. When Haymitch pushes it aside, we find ourselves in the dome of the Justice Building. - I wonder how Haymitch has come to know this part of the Justice Building? Has he been to District 11 more often than Katniss supposes (he is friends with Chaff, after all), did his mentor take him there for some private conversation, or was there a moment during Haymitch’s Victory Tour where he felt so overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and powerlessness that he fled to the most desolate, solitary place he could find?

“I was supposed to fix things on this tour. [...] Calm things down. But obviously, all I’ve done today is get three people killed, and now everyone in the square will be punished.” I feel so sick that I have to sit down on a couch, despite the exposed springs and stuffing. - Obviously, all of this is awful and no one - especially a traumatized, 16-year old girl - should have to suffer carrying such a burden... But also, here we see one of the downsides of Katniss taking sole responsibility for everything - she totally forgot that Peeta might feel responsible too, only that he didn’t even know what’s at stake - which leads us to-

“Then I made things worse, too. By giving the money,” says Peeta. Suddenly he strikes out at a lamp that sits precariously on a crate and knocks it across the room, where it shatters against the floor. “This has to stop. Right now. This - this - game you two play, where you tell each other secrets but keep them from me like I’m too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them.”"It's not like that, Peeta-" I begin. "It's exactly like that!" he yells at me. - When kind, gentle Peeta’s mad, you know shit has hit the fan 😳 But also, being passed over/kept out of the loop seems to hit pretty close to home for Peeta (while I would like to know what his home life looked like before the Games, I have to admit that at this point, I’m somewhat afraid I might not be able to handle the truth...). I just think this scene is an important moment that leads to an end of (most of) their detrimental secrecy (hello end-of-CF-Haymitch!) and establishes their little team as such (hence the drawing)

“You’re always so reliably good, Peeta,” says Haymitch. “So smart about how you present yourself before the cameras. I didn’t want to disrupt that.” “Well, you overestimated me. Because I really screwed up today.” - Remember the last time someone overestimated Peeta (Foxface and the berries)? That ended in someone’s death as well... And, Haymitch? ‘Never assume’ applies to you, too!

“Do you think I gave them [Rue’s and Thresh’s families] a bright future? Because I think they’ll be lucky if they survive the day!” Peeta sends something else flying, a statue. I’ve never seen him like this. - Considering that his rebellious act of kindness is now threatening to become a sword of Damocles, hanging over those towards which he wanted to extend his kindness - simply because he’s been kept out of the loop (again)- Peeta’s anger is quite understandable

“Look, boy-” Haymitch begins. “Don’t bother, Haymitch. I know you had to choose one of us. And I’d have wanted it to be her. But this is something different. People are dead out there. More will follow unless we’re very good.” - Peeta doesn’t really care if it’s just his life on the line, but if other people’s lives are at risk? He takes no shit (it’s admirable in one way and deeply concerning in another); also, Peeta is right - while there still is a game to play, it’s not the Games, so different circumstances and rules apply

“From now on, you’ll be fully informed,” Haymitch promises. “I better be,” says Peeta. - Peeta generally is a very cooperative fellow, but don’t ever think he can’t be forceful and stand his ground when it matters!

“Did you choose me, Haymitch?” I ask. “Yeah,” he says. “Why? You like him better,” I say. “That’s true. But remember, until they changed the rules, I could only hope to get one of you out of there alive,” he says. “I thought since he was determined to protect you, well, between the three of us, we might be able to bring you home.” “Oh,” is all I can think to say. - This is such a quiet, sweet moment and also shows that Katniss, Haymitch and Peeta have been some sort of team from the start (also, in their team effort they actually managed to get the both of them back home!)

Everything is happening too fast for me to process it. The warning, the shootings, the recognition that I may have set something of great consequence in motion. The whole thing is so improbable. And it would be one thing if I had planned to stir things up, but given the circumstances... how on earth did I cause so much trouble? - Lol, you’re giving yourself a little too much credit here, Katniss ;) Frankly, the Capitol has been the one to create this powder-keg they are sitting on in the first place - all it needed was a little spark... All these injustices, the humilitation, the pain inflicted... it’s like an elastic rubber band that’s been stretched and stretched - until it snaps

“I’m something of an expert in architectural design, you know?” “Oh yes, I’ve heard that,” says Portia before the pause gets too long. - Bless Portia’s heart, making sure they avoid that awkward silence 😂

Effie looks so distressed that I spontaneously give her a hug. “That’s awful, Effie. Maybe we shouldn’t go to the dinner at all. At least until they’ve apologized.” - Aww, Katniss doing something nice for Effie!😊

Peeta and I join hands. “Haymitch says I was wrong to yell at you. You were only operating under his instructions,” says Peeta. “And it isn’t as if I haven’t kept things from you in the past.” - Peeta sorta apologizing, even acknowledging that he also had kept secrets from Katniss? We love to see it👍 - [...] “I think I broke a few things myself after that interview.” “Just an urn,” he says. - Peetaaa... stop diminishing your own physical injuries! Good thing that Katniss won’t let him: - “And your hands. There’s no point to it anymore though, is there? Not being straight with each other?” I say. “No point,” says Peeta. - Gasp! Honest, open communication as a good basis for a successful relationship? It’s more likely than you think!

“Was that really the only time you kissed Gale?” I’m so startled I answer. “Yes.” With all that has happened today, has that question actually been preying on him? - Peeta, you sly dog! Your priorities 😂

Some crowds have the weary-cattle feel that I know District 12 usually projects at the victors’ ceremonies. But in others - particularly 8, 4, and 3 - there is genuine elation in the faces of the people at the sight of us, and under the elation, fury. - I do think that it’s interesting how D4 is one of the districts being elated to see Peeta + Katniss and displaying such fury, despite being a Career district; just goes to show that, just because their odds are better at winning the Games, doesn’t have to make them more simpatico with the Capitol’s cruelty... (Considering how Finnick knows how to perform CPR, it’s highly likely that people in D4 are also used to awful and precarious working + living situations... maybe that’s exactly why they generally are so robust and do well in the Games; and maybe they are simply not that above joining the other Careers as long as it improves their chances of survival, like Katniss or Thresh had been... worked for a while for Peeta, too)

Effie starts giving me pills to sleep, but they don’t work. [...] Peeta, who spends much of the night roaming the train, hears me screaming as I struggle to break out of the haze of drugs that merely prolong the horrible dreams. He manages to wake me and calm me down. Then he climbs into bed to hold me until I fall back to sleep. After that, I refuse the pills. But every night I let him into my bed. We manage the darkness as we did in the arena, wrapped in each other’s arms. - 😭 Also: Very telling how Capitolite Effie just throws pills at the problem (with the best of intentions, I’m sure), which is an immediate, unpersonal, and superficial solution at best, whereas Peeta holding Katniss, offering comfort, understanding, a sense of safety, and human connection is so much more personal, intimate, and effective (for both of them!)

I personally killed the girl, Glimmer, and the boy from District 1. As I try to avoid looking at his family, I learn that his name was Marvel. How did I never know that? - You know why, Katniss - I suppose that before the Games I didn’t pay attention and afterward I didn’t want to know. - Still, not knowing his name didn’t stop you from humanizing him, Katniss, and that’s important, too

Whatever we do seems too little, too late. Back in our old quarters in the Training Center, I’m the one who suggests the public marriage proposal. Peeta agrees to do it but then disappears to his room for a long time. Haymitch tells me to leave him alone. “I thought he wanted it, anyway,” I say. “Not like this,” Haymitch says. “He wanted it to be real.” - Come on, Katniss, don’t be so callous; Peeta’s just as much of a prisoner here as you! Also, it’s all about being real or not real with these two, isn’t it?

Chapter 6

... you would think that at this moment, I would be in utter despair. Here’s what’s strange. The main thing I feel is a sense of relief. That I can give up this game. [...] That if desperate times call for desperate measures, then I am free to act as desperately as I wish. - Honestly, I think it was pretty short-sighted of Snow to let Katniss know so clearly that she didn’t succeed in her task; she did her utmost and it wasn’t enough - might as well fling caution to the wind now. All bets are off. If there had been still some small chance she could have ‘made things right’, she probably would have been trying harder to comply to his expectations. (I’m sure Snow thought the upcoming implementations of his stricter regime would be enough to keep Katniss in check, but pride comes before a fall ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

It’s essential to get back to District 12, because the main part of any plan will include my mother and sister, Gale and his family. And Peeta, If I can get him to come with us. I add Haymitch to the list. - For such a ‘loner’, Katniss sure has a lot of people that are important to her... And how ironic that Peeta, who she isn’t sure she’ll be able to convince in following her will be a much more willing participant that Gale, who Katniss is pretty much banking on joining her

“You’ll probably have to pass a new law,” I say with a giggle. “If that’s what it takes,” says the president with conspiratorial good humor. Oh the fun we two have together. - The dynamic between Snow and Katniss is so strange; despite the obvious antagonism there is definitely some vibe of interacting with each other at eye level and it’s weird (Sidenote: Is there any law in Panem preventing minors from marrying?)

“I want to taste everything in the room, “ I tell Peeta. [...] “Then you’d better pace yourself,” he says. “Okay, not more than one bite of each dish,” I say. My resolve is almost immediately broken at the first table, which has twenty or so soups - couldn’t have happened to me; I hate soup (like, thick soups I maaaybe can get behind, but clear soup/broth is just flavored water to me, no thanks - then again, I’m a picky eater)

Peeta and I make no effort to find company but are constantly sought out. We are what no one wants to miss at the party. I act delighted, but I have zero interest in these Capitol people. They are only distractions from the food. - Well isn’t that a mood for every social gathering ever (one person I enjoy talking to and lots of food I like? Perfect.)

I pick up a small roasted bird, bite into it, and my tongue floods with orange sauce. Delicious. But I make Peeta eat the remainder because I want to keep tasting things - Katniss seems to like the combination of meat and fruit, huh? (the lamb and plums, now bird and orange sauce) Personally, it’s a combination that’s on thin ice for me; there are only a few dishes with that component I actually like and it took me forever to tolerate them (I don’t know if it’s the texture or the taste, but something makes me apprehensive about it); anyway, Katniss making Peeta eat the rest is such a casual, couple-y thing to do (or at least something you do with someone you feel very comfortable with, I think)

Peeta looks at the glass again and puts it together. “You mean this will make me puke?” My prep team laughs hysterically. “Of course, so you can keep eating,” says Octavia. “I’ve been in there twice already. Everyone does it, or else how would you have any fun at a feast?” I’m speechless, staring at the pretty little glasses and all they imply. - Oh boy, I have a lot of thoughts on this part: A) I just noticed how this is the second delicate/fancy glass/drink that’s bringing about a jarring revelation: first that orange juice with the frilly straw in THG, now these tiny wine-stemmed glasses, B) “Everyone does it” + “how else would you have fun?” are the shittiest reasons I’ve ever heard at a party for doing something stupid you probably don’t want to do (I’m having flashbacks to all the times I had people trying to pressure me into drinking alcohol as a teen - it was even legal, btw - although I insisted that I didn’t like the taste (which I still don’t, to this day); it was tiresome 😑), C) “everyone does it” - the people in the Capitol must have some messed up teeth if that’s a regular occurence (sure, they probably bleach their teeth all the time, but also... they’d really need to, D) the obvious: how effed up that they just puke to stuff in more food when in the districts people literally are dying from starvation?! (and yeah, unequal distribution of resources sadly isn’t just a thing in Panem, I know... but there is something about actively purging yourself just for funsies that’s just extra, well, sick)

All I can think of is the emaciated bodies of the children on our kitchen table as my mother prescribes what the parents cannot give. More food. - God, how awful! How powerless they must feel 😟

And here in the Capitol they’re vomiting for the pleasure of filling their bellies again and again. Not from some illness of body or mind, not from spoiled food. - Ooh, I’ve never noticed before how this passage not only recognizes physical reasons for purging, but also mental reasons! Wouldn’t have necessarily expected Katniss to acknowledge eating disorders like that, tbh... She has become a lot more cognizant and sensitive when mental health issues are concerned

One day when I dropped by to give Hazelle the game, Vick was home sick with a bad cough [...] he still spent about fifteen minutes talking about how they’d opened a can of corn syrup from Parcel Day and each had a spoonful on bread and were going to maybe have more later in the week. How Hazelle had said he could have a bit in a cup of tea to soothe his cough, but he wouldln’t feel right unless the others had some, too. - Aww, Vick is such a sweetheart! Hazelle is raising her kids right!

“Peeta, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment,”I say. “Really, this is nothing by comparison.” “I know. I know that. It’s just sometimes I can’t stand it anymore. To the point where... I’m not sure what I’ll do.” He pauses, then whispers, “Maybe we were wrong, Katniss.” “About what?” I ask. “About trying to subdue things in the districts,” he says. - Peeta’s rebellious nature coming through again!

“Sorry,” he says. He should be. This is no place to be voicing such thoughts. “Save it for home,” I tell him. - I know Katniss means D12, but her phrasing of “home” evokes a more domestic, couple-y connotation again 😊

I don’t want to dance with Plutarch Heavensbee. I don’t want to feel his hands, one resting against mine, one on my hip. I’m not used to being touched, except by Peeta or my family, and I rank Gamemakers somewhere below maggots in terms of creatures I want in contact with my skin. - It’s telling that, while Katniss is not big on being touched aside from her family (does that include Gale? probably? although they hadn’t even really hugged until Katniss had been reaped, so... I dunno), she’s totally fine with Peeta touching her (more than that: remember how good she felt holding his hand again in Ch.4 and how she’s feeling safe in his arms when they are sharing a bed), it says a lot about how comfortable she feels around him

Plutarch steps back and pulls out a gold watch on a chain from a vest pocket. He flips open the lid, sees the time, and frowns. “I’ll have to be going soon.” He turns the watch so I can see the face. “It starts at midnight.” - Honestly, this very subtle hint/foreshadowing of the clock setup of the Quarter Quell arena is simply brilliant! And also, midnight is going to become an important point in time as well from here on out (lightning tree, in the hanging tree song, saving Peeta and the others from the Training Center in the Capitol)

It’s another mockingjay. Exactly like the pin on my dress. Only this one disappears. He snaps the watch closed. “That’s very pretty,” I say. “Oh, it’s more than pretty. It’s one of a kind,” he says. - The disappearing mockingjay on the clock is interesting because A) Plutarch can’t really be flaunting the symbol of rebellion as Head Gamemaker, duh, but also B) the clock arena will be the place where the Mockingjay will disappear (until the rebellion will be able to use her for their cause); and that last comment by Plutarch clearly is aimed at the Mockingjay (Katniss) herself

When I open my eyes, it’s early afternoon. My head rests on Peeta’s arm. I don’t remember him coming in last night. - Okay, Katniss must feel hella safe and used to Peeta joining her in her bed, because apparently she didn’t even wake up when he did, like... I’m a fairly heavy sleeper, but I can’t imagine sleeping so deeply that I wouldn’t jerk awake if someone crawled into my bed while I was snoozing

“No nightmare,” he says. “What?” I ask. “You didn’t have any nightmares last night,” he says. He’s right. For the first time in ages I’ve slept through the night. - Telling how the first time Katniss sleeps through the night is after Snow let her know her performance wasn’t enough; she’s must have been so tense and on edge, desperately trying to calm down the districts and convince Snow, that she hadn’t been able to sleep properly, aside from the obvious sleeping issues she’d have from the PTSD (I’m often that way before an important exam - especially if it’s an oral exam; I get tense just thinking about it 😓)

“I had a dream, though,” I say, thinking back. “I was following a mockingjay though the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice.” “Where did she take you?” he says, brushing my hair off my forehead. “I don’t know. We never arrived,” I say. “But I felt happy.” - Interesting how in Katniss’s dream, the mockingjay is Rue - lending further credence to the hypothesis that maybe Rue was originally meant to be the Mockingjay (would make Plutarch’s comment of the mockingjay being “one of a kind” a bit more hypocritical/exaggerated/dramatized, which still fits with his flair for propaganda/showmanship... and ultimately, Katniss as the Mockingjay was unique, but that doesn’t mean that the rebellion couldn’t have made someone else their symbol if they needed to); also, Peeta brushing Katniss’s hair off her forehead is so sweet and intimate 😊

After I got home, we [Madge and I] started spending time together. [...] It was a little awkward at first because we didn’t know what to do. Other girls our age, I’ve heard them talking about boys, or other girls, or clothes. Madge and I aren’t gossipy and clothes bore me to tears. But after a few false starts, I realized she was dying to go into the woods, so I’ve taken her a couple of times and showed her how to shoot. She’s trying to teach me the piano, but mostly I like to listen to her play. - Honestly? I’d love to read a fanfic about Katniss and Madge figuring out their friendship (let me know if there already are some!); it’s cute how they end up including each other in their hobbies 😊 Ah, the classic “I’m/We’re not like other girls”, which often is especially prevalent during your teen years (I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t been gulty of this in my past 😅)... Katniss might actually would have benefited from talking with Madge about her boys’ troubles, though... And it’s so funny how Katniss admits that she has no interest in clothes, despite it being her supposed “talent”, while she also admits that she does admire Cinna’s work

... there’s a mob scene. The square’s packed with screaming people, their faces hidden with rags and homemade masks, throwing bricks. Building burn. Peacekeepers shoot into the crowd, killing at random. I’ve never seen anything like it - I... I have. At least on tv... In different places, at different times, but... yeah...

#thgagain #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #haymitch abernathy #everlark #thg meta #my sketches and drawings #honestly there were so many scenes in these 3 chapter that I wanted to draw... but I barely had the time for these 2 #Catching Fire is just chock-full with interesting/important moments... my book is more post-it notes than pages at this point

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give-your-name-away · 3 years

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Hunger Games Name Analysis

I remember when I was in middle school I was obsessed with the Hunger Games. I only ever had the first book, but I read it over and over again until it's pages were completely warned out. I didn't care about the romance, but I was hooked by everything else. The games were what drew me in, but the world building is what got me hooked. I could tell very easily how different all the districts were and how the capitol kept them under control. I could see how cruel the country was, but everyone lived with it because they had no other choice. It was fascinating to me.

The Hunger Games is actually what started my love for names in the first place, and there is a very good reason for it. Suzanne Collins was very clever with how she used names in her world building and it shows. It helps fleshes out her world and her districts in a very fascinating and unique way.

It took me a while to put my finger on how exactly she does this, but once I did I found it even more fascinating. The key is she didn't look at her world as a monolith. This sounds obvious, but when it comes to the small things like names it's easy to overlook. Collins did not make this mistake, and in turn each district has their own rules for naming their children.

(If you want to read this on AO3 then the link is here https://archiveofourown.org/works/32092420)

District 12: This is one of the districts we see the most of, as it's the home of the main character, Katniss. Some of the names used are Katniss, Primrose, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch, Lucy Grey, Leevy, Posy, and Thom. These are some of the more down to earth names in the universe, and most of them seem familiar, if not a little altered. Peeta seems to be a variant of Peter, Haymitch a variant of Hamish. Leevy could either be decended from Levi or Livy. The names evolved from modern names, which makes sense considering how long in the future it is. In District 12 you either name your children already known names, or names based on nature. (Katniss, Gale, Primrose, Posy, ect) and even some of the natural names change through time. One example is Thom instead of Thorn, or it could be a variation of Thomas.

The thing that is interesting about district twelve is people aren't getting 'creative' with spellings or variants, at least not on purpose. They're naming their children off of things they already know, which is what happened before people had access to things like internet or other cultures to mingle with. District 12 is very isolated, so they use names they already know, names that are familiar even to us. People are also struggling to get by, so they don’t spend much time getting creative.

Capital: The next location we go to is the Capital, and we spend quite a long time there. Some of the names we run into are Coriolanus, Effie, Cinna, Diana, Tigris, Arachne, Seneca, Caesar, Messalla, Octavia, Venia, Urban, and Portia. Most English speakers have somewhat of a familiarity with these names, though more from stories than from people in real life. There seem to be three different categories of names. Names that are descended from Greek names like Effie, Arachne, Portia, Caesar, and Cinna are good examples. There are Roman names like Coriolanus, Diana, Seneca, and Octavia are good examples.

Finally there are the noun names, or noun variant names. They’re not nearly as common it seems, but Tigris and Urban are good examples. They break the rule of exclusively Roman and Greek names which is a good way not to make the Capitol seem like a monolith.

District One: District One names are extremely distinted, and it’s hard not to notice how odd they seem from the beginning, when Katniss mentioned that the district one female was named Glimmer. Other names include Velvereen, Facet, Augustus, Glimmer, Marvel, Cashmere, and Gloss. We don’t have a wide variety of names but the ones we do have are very telling.

There are fabric names like Cashmere, Facet and velvereen, a variant of velveteen. Adjective names are pretty common too. These seem odd to us, but I find them akin to virtue names.

There is an oddball name there, Augustus. It is a Roman name that seems to fit in with the capitol. This could be reminiscent of name trends changing quickly in such an affluent district as he was the victor in the 67th hunger games, or it could just show the closeness between Distinct One and the Capital, to the point that even the baby names are influenced.

District Two: District two names are also distinct, but it’s harder to place exactly why. Some of them are Cato, Clove, Brutus, Enobaria, Lyme, Cray, Romulus, Pugnax, Sejanus, Marcus and Sabyn. As we can clearly see, most of these are Roman. Cato, Brutus, Enobaria, Romulus, Pugnax, Sejanus, and Marcus. Unlike the capital there don’t seem to be any Greek names.

However there are some odd names in the mix. Clove, Lyme, Cray, and Sabyn. They are quite hard to place. Some are real names, but their meanings don’t fit with the district, so I believe Suzanne Collins took the same route as she did in District three (More information below) where she took career related words and altered them enough just to be unrecognizable. After all District two’s official purpose is masonry.

Clove is the present tense of the term Cleave. Lyme is most likely a variant on the word Lye, as the only other thing I could find was the disease, which seems unlikely. Cray could either be the English name that already exists, or a variant of clay.

Sabyn is a bit harder to place, but it seems to be a variant of Sabine, which was a term for people who lived in Rome. It’s not of Roman origin, but it still fits.

District Three: There are only four names to draw from in district three. Beetee, Wiress, Circ, and Teslee. The pattern here is very easy to decipher. They seem to be district career related names, but changed somewhat. Unlike district one names that name their children directly after verbs and nouns very purposefully, district three names are slightly more subtle.

Beetee seems to be based off of the brand name BT. Wiress is clearly based off of Wireless. Circ is a shortened version of Circuit, and Teslee seems to be a variant on Tesla. It’s unlikely that the brands Tesla and BT are still around. They probably just morphed into the language, with the citizens of district three not knowing where they came from, similar to how most people don’t know where names like ‘Mary’ or ‘Zoe’ came from. I’m unsure if Circ and Wiress follow this same pattern, as circuits and wireless seem like they should still exist in the world, but it doesn’t seem purposeful.

District four: District four has much more interesting naming conventions with the names of Mags, Finnick, Annie, Coral, and Mizzen. They seem a little odd, but downright normal.

Coral and Mizzen seem to be the only names that are fishing or water related. Mizzen is the mast in front of a ship's main mast, and Coral is coral. Even then Coral is a perfectly common name in English, so these conventions don’t seem too related to the career of district four.

However Mags is a variant of Margaret, which means pearl. Finnick means marshland, which is a type of wetlands.

Annie does not have a water related name, simply meaning grace. However the existence of both the names Annie and Mags seems to show that it’s common for district four to use nicknames as full names. That itself is not uncommon with how much time had passed, but it is interesting to point out.

District five: While Foxface is from this district ‘Foxface’ is not her real name, so she doesn’t count. There are theories about her real name, but nothing canonical, so I’m not including her. This is a shame because we only have three names to work with. Hy, Sol, and Porter.

The names are very short compared to the other districts. However they also directly relate to the district’s industry of power. While I find this debatable myself Hy seems to be related to Hydraulic power. A little more obvious is Sol being related to Solar power. Porter seems slightly different, named after a porter cable instead of a direct power source.

There isn’t a lot known about this district, so it’s hard to analyze much further.

District Six: Everything about district six is vague. Even it’s industry, which is transportation, isn’t very specific, and there isn’t much to analyze. The names we have are Otto, Ginnee, and Titus.

Names seem to be unrelated to the industry, similar to twelve. Furthermore, similar to twelve the names seem to be alterations on well known names. Otto is just Otto, but Ginnee is a variant on Ginny.

Titus is a bit more complicated. It is a Roman name, like the capitol and the second district. This could mean a lot of things. I find it rather likely that do to their purpose as transportation they have the ability to leave, even if only occasionally, and unlike other districts can absorb certain facets of culture like baby names from outside their district. Of course with such a small sample size this is just a theory.

District Seven: District seven is the lumber district, and the names appear to be very reflective of that, though not in the obvious way. If someone were to think of lumber inspired names they’d probably come up with things like Willow, Oak, Leaf, and Ash, or something obvious. Instead we have Treech, Lamina, Johanna, and Blight.

You really have to look into the meanings, but once you do the implications become clear. Treech is a variant on the word tree. Lamina is the blade of a leaf. Blight is a disease that commonly affects trees and plants, which I find it odd to name your kid after, but it still fits.

Johanna isn’t related to trees in any way, instead it is a common English name. It makes sense for English names to still exist, considering that it takes place in what used to be America. Plus it isn’t the only example of this, as Annie from district four’s name also works like this.

District Eight: We actually have a good sample size from district eight, the district in charge of textiles, despite it being a rather minor district in the story. Bonnie, Bobbin, Cecelia, Woof, Twill, Paylor, and Wovey.

As we see with Bonnie, Cecelia, and Paylor the default names seem to be of European origin rather than Roman origin the further the districts are from the capitol. While I don’t believe this is purposeful I don’t believe it’s entirely accidental. With how far they are from the capitol it makes sense that there wouldn’t be much influence, but on the other hand it also makes sense that the little influence there is wouldn’t be purposefully emulated due to the hatred of the capitol.

The other names seem to be industry related as well. Bobbin is a small tool used in a sewing machine. Woof are the crosswise threads in woven fabric. Twill is a type of fabric weave, and Wovey is from the word wove, the past tense of weave.

Bonnie could either be a normal English name, or a variant of the name Bobbin. Variant names are extremely common, and it’s quite natural that they could develop.

District Nine: District nine is the district of grain, and along with ten we know the least about these two districts. We only have two names to draw from, Panlo and Sheaf, but they are both related to grain.

Sheaf is related directly, as sheaf is the term for when grain is tied together. Panlo is indirectly related, as it is based on the latin word for bread, panis.

District Ten: District ten is the livestock district, but their names don’t seem as related to their industry as the others are. Though we only have three data points to draw from. Brandy, Dalton, and Tanner.

Tanner seems to be the only one directly related to livestock, as Tanner is a career of tanning animal hides.

Brandy is a type of alcoholic drink, and it’s also already a name. Same as Dalton, which means settlement in the valley.

Unlike the other districts all three of these names are actual names used in modern day life. And unlike other districts with common English names these have a distinctly more modern feel to them.

District Eleven: District eleven names are a personal favorite of mine, though I may be slightly biased because of Rue, my favorite character. We have a decent pool to draw from. Rue, Thresh, Chaff, Seeder, Reaper, Martin, and Dill.

I like the symbolism of Rue. The word Rue in english means regret, however it is also a type of flowering plant. Thresh is either named after the method for separating grain from a plant, or the thrush bird. Chaff is the word for a corn husk separated from the corn. A seeder is a type of tool for seeding the ground. Reaper doesn’t mean grim reaper, instead it’s the term for someone who uses a scythe to reap grain. Dill is also a type of herb.

Martin doesn’t relate to the other names, and seems to fall into the ‘leftover English names’ category that seems to exist in all districts.

District Thirteen: District thirteen is an interesting one. They don’t have an industry, not anymore at least, nor do they have any ties to other districts that could influence their names. We have Alma, Boggs, Homes, Mitchell, Jackson, and York.

The interesting thing about these names is that they’re all surnames. Some can be first names like Jackson and Mitchell, but even those ones originate from surnames.

There has been a trend in recent years of parents using surnames as first names. A few examples of this are Sawyer, Taylor, Sutton, Carter, and Madison.

I’m not entirely sure why this trend developed, but I do have a few theories. District thirteen is very strict and militaristic. In such an environment it’s pretty common to refer to people by their surnames, so it makes sense that surnames would start to leak into first names.

Another theory is that referring to someone by their surname was a sign of respect in district 13, similar to how it is in the real world. It’s possible that either consciously or subconsciously parents started using surnames as first names to bring their children prestige. This happens in real life two. One of the most prevalent examples is parents giving their daughters either masculine or male names in hopes that it would help them in the workforce. Of course in district 13 it seems far more widespread than in real life, but unlike real life district 13 has a noticeable lack of outside influences that could provide a more diverse culture.

Although at the end district 13 was taking in refugees from other districts due to their lack of fertility. Their seemed to be people from multiple districts. There was 10% of the population from 12, at least one boy mentioned from 10 and most likely more, quite a few people from the capital, and while it’s only mentioned that two people tried to get there from 8 and failed it wouldn’t be unlikely to assume that there were a few that succeeded in coming to 13. In the future of the universe it would be interesting to see how this would effect naming culture and the development of new names.

#hunger games #the hunger games #district 12 #district 1 #district 2 #the capitol #name analysis

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shesasurvivor · 3 years

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May 8, 2021 (fic)

It’s here at last! I’m so sorry I’m so late this year; things really got busy for me. But I could never forget my favorite girl completely. Here’s the update for May 8 this year!

Summary: Prim surprises Katniss for her birthday one year with an unexpected gift. Set pre-Games.

Read on A03

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I open my bleary eyes only to see nothing but darkness spread out before me. I’m used to being an early riser, but somehow this seems to be pushing it. I’m not sure what time it is, but it feels too early regardless. I feel the light pressure of a small hand pressed against my back as it gently shakes me. So I didn’t imagine it.

With a start, I sit up, wondering what’s wrong that either my mother or my sister could be stirring me awake. It would have to be an emergency because that’s the only time either of them is awake before I am. I’m already halfway out of bed, using my foot to feel around in the dark for my leather boots when I make out Prim’s small shape in the darkness.

“Prim,” I breathe. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“It’s okay, Katniss,” she says with a giggle, of all things. The sound is strange and catches me off guard. A giggle? That doesn’t add up. Then a dim light fills the room as my mother strikes a match, and I find Prim beaming at me.

“Happy birthday!” she sings out as soon as she can see me clearly. Our mother stands behind her, still in her nightshirt, smiling faintly at me as well.

Oh. My birthday. I’d nearly forgotten about it. Not that there’s ever much to look forward to, other than the memory that I’m eligible to put my name in the Reaping a few more times in exchange for tesserae. Happy birthday to me.

“We have a surprise for you,” Prim continues, pulling on my hand to encourage me to get out of bed. I’m still a little groggy and would rather catch a few extra minutes of sleep before I take off into the woods, but I follow Prim anyways and let her lead me into the next room, to our cramped kitchen. In the center of the room sits a small, unfinished wooden table that’s been worn down from years of use. And right in the middle sits a round cake that’s been decorated with white frosting and dotted with ornately shaped yellow blossoms.

My breath catches in my throat at the sight of it. I can feel Prim exuding pride and excitement beside me. I want to be happy for her sake, to show how much I appreciate this. Instead, my heart falls into my stomach. All I can think about is how much it must have cost us to buy this.

“Oh, Prim,” I murmur, and there’s no mistaking that I’m upset and not as touched as she wanted me to be. And immediately I wish I wish I could take it back, or could have forced myself to play along, or something to keep the crestfallen expression that’s falling across my sister’s face now.

“You don’t like it?” Her voice is small, fragile. I crumble to pieces, then snap back together as I rush to reassure her that she hasn’t done something wrong. “It’s just… how much did something like this cost?” I’ve been by the bakery windows enough times with her to know that these cakes fall well outside of our pathetic budget. Not even my trades with the baker would catch us something like this. It would take a whole lot of squirrels to get something like a decorated cake from the window.

“Oh, is that all,” Prim looks amused now. “I just traded a wheel of cheese for it.”

“A wheel of cheese?” I repeat, not sure how to process the relief and confusion I’m feeling simultaneously. I’m beyond grateful that Prim didn’t spend anything more than that, but it doesn’t make sense. Prim’s goat cheese is outstanding, but it still doesn’t amount to the cost of one of the fancy cakes. “Mr. Mellark let you buy a cake for a wheel of cheese?”

“Not Mr. Mellark,” Prim explains. “One of his sons. The youngest one. His name is Peeta. He gave me some of the supplies and even offered to decorate it himself. He put the flowers on because I wasn’t getting them. He’s really good. Katniss?”

I’m staring blankly at the cake, trying to make sense of all this. I know the son she’s talking about, though this is the first time I’ve heard his name. Peeta. Peeta Mellark. We don’t know each other, at least not directly. But this isn’t the first time I’ve been gifted with baked goods because of him. There was one other time, on a fateful rainy day, when I thought my luck had finally run out and the end had finally come. Peeta Mellark. Of course, the cake is covered in yellow flowers.

“We’ll save it,” I say, shaking my head to clear out the memory. I smile down at my sister, looking up at me with relief at my lightened mood. “We’ll have it for dessert after dinner tonight.”

“Okay,” she agrees happily. She gives me a hug, then goes off to get ready for the day.

Later, in the crowded hallways of the school, I glance up and find Peeta Mellark staring straight at me. He looks as though he’s been watching me for a while, and for a minute, I think he’s going to actually come over to say something to me. For some reason, the thought makes me embarrassed. Heat flooding my cheeks, I look away quickly. A moment later, I dare to look back, but he’s not looking at me anymore either. Instead, he’s turned and has started walking in the opposite direction down the hallway. But as the hall begins to clear out, I notice a crumpled piece of paper lying where he had been standing moments earlier. Unable to resist the curiosity, I edge over to the spot and pick it up. On the wrinkled paper is a rough pencil sketch of the very same blossoms that dot the cake back home. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” is written in clean, careful handwriting underneath.

I lift my eyes and stare for a long moment in the direction he disappeared in, trying to make sense of it. Was he about to give this to me for my birthday? We don’t really know each other. Though he would have to know it was my birthday after he helped Prim with my cake. But why? Why would he do any of that? He doesn’t owe me anything. I’m the one who owes him, who will never stop owing him, and I still haven’t managed to get out so much of a thank you to him for saving my life all those years ago.

After a while, I give up trying to piece it together. The drawing can’t have been anything more than a practice run for the cake he decorated, with no other meaning. He was probably looking at me because he remembered my sister. There’s no further explanation for it. Besides, everyone loves Prim. I’m the forgettable one.

I think about tossing the crumpled drawing into a trash bin as I pass by but somehow feel bad about doing so. Instead, I fold it carefully and put it in my pocket. I forget about it until that evening when the Hawthornes have come over to help me celebrate my birthday. As Gale hands me a slice of the cake, I remember the incident, and a hand slips into the pocket and fingers the paper sitting there.

Briefly, I wonder if I should find Peeta Mellark at school tomorrow and return the drawing to him, but I push the thought away. He clearly didn’t care about it. Neither do I, I tell myself. But the picture sits safely in my pocket regardless. It will serve as a reminder of a particularly nice birthday I had one year, if nothing else.

#Katniss Everdeen #THG fanfic #Everlark fanfiction #Happy Birthday Katniss

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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years

Note

I *DEMAND* part 3 of shattered pearl. I repeat. I *DEMAND*.

Hahahahaha omg. Well, I decided to legitimately dig through the archives of my writing drafts and found chapter three of the Peeta-Wasn’t-Hijacked fic. It’s been given like 1,000 different names on different sites. I’ve never loved any of them. And I don’t really think this is my best writing ngl. But I also figure ... why be so stingy, ya know? If I have an incomplete draft, that I probably won’t finish, why not post a little bit? Especially since I literally left everyone and their brother who were reading this fic on a cliffy for over a year.

With that said.... I wrote this part like ... 15 months ago? 14 ? 13 ? Something like that. And I haven’t edited it since so ... yeah! Here’s a small chunk of chapter three! 🥳🥳🥳 Hope it’s better than I remember it being!

But it’s lacking something and it’s only then I realize, what I’m searching for inside Gale’s mouth, is the spark that only Peeta’s ever ignited in me. I keep waiting in vain for the warmth that started in my stomach and then rose up and exploded in my chest, for the craving that no matter what I couldn’t manage to satisfy, for the thrilling, almost hysterical, tingly feeling, to overcome me and leave me lightheaded in a completely foreign way. A way that couldn’t be attributed to lack of oxygen.

But it never does. I pull back and wipe my mouth carelessly on my arm and sigh, already sensing Gale’s demeanor taking a nose dive at my lackluster reaction.

I’m not disappointed when I look to see his expression. His eyes are frustrated, his mouth is downturned, his eyebrows are pinched together. And I feel as bad as I knew I would. Because no matter what, I’m hurting someone I deeply care for.

But how I feel upon seeing Gale’s face isn’t even comparable to the amount of remorse that fills me, that overtakes my entire being, when I see Peeta standing in the doorway, having watched our entire exchange.

I yelled his name as he disappeared down the hall. I tried to rip out all the needles and wires connecting me to the machines and the stiff, sterilized bed but Gale used all his strength to push me down flat. I was overpowered and exhausted and my left side was screaming mercilessly, and I don’t even know what pain was the bruised lung and what pain was my hurt ribs and what pain was my heart violently smashing into the pit of my stomach.

All I know is that if I had been able to reach Peeta before he evaporated, I have no clue what I would have said to him.

What I could have said to make it alright.

Gale tried to talk to me again after that but I entirely tuned him out, no longer caring if I wounded his feelings, or anyone else's for that matter.

It seems like no matter what I do, no matter how careful or cautious or preemptive I try to be, someone still got hurt in the end.

I wish I could just shut out the world, like I did during those first few weeks in Thirteen. Hide inside closets when I had a flashback. Shove myself into a minuscule crawl space with every nightmare. Refuse to speak to anyone who wasn't Gale or my family. Only eat when my mother nearly forced me. Show no remorse for how rude or how clinically insane I came across.

But now there was an agreement in place, an agreement I made to protect the victors—namely the one who just disappeared down the hall on me—and the people who had no voice on their own. The people who’s only chance was a half-crazed, shell-shocked, battle worn seventeen year old girl, who was just gunned down on national television.

Even if I wanted to retreat to some safe haven inside my head—if such a thing even existed for me—like Annie Cresta, I knew it could never happen.

For me, that wasn’t an option. If I don’t fulfill my duties to Coin, Peeta, Johanna, Annie and probably countless more people will suffer. The districts would undoubtably suffer. Gale would suffer. My mother and Prim would suffer.

I was proven right when later that same night Plutarch came to visit me again. I'd been lying on my side to avoid having to see Gale, who was still soldered to my bedside. My good side was thankfully opposite his seat.

When the Gamemaker spoke I thought I would be forced back to work. Forced to head back to the rebels and engage in their plans.

And I was resigned to it, well aware all along that I wouldn't be given the luxury of time to grieve the hurt I just caused Peeta. Or even the pain I knew I was inflicting upon Gale. The constant seesaw my heart was bouncing up and down on.

I was endlessly thankful that I was still pumped with morphling when Plutarch said that I was needed in Coin's office, because it heavily suppressed any real emotion I had brewing deep inside.

Morphling can cause you to let down your guard sometimes, make you say or do things you wouldn't otherwise or allow things to happen you'd ordinarily have the sense to stop. But it also causes all your severe emotions, all your heightened feelings, to dull as well. And for that, in light of everything that had just transpired, I was eternally grateful for.

When the doctor had removed all the needles from my arm, and I had been given a robe to go over my hospital gown—which, shockingly, was even uglier and thinner and itchier than the gowns they gave in the Capitol hospitals—Gale escorts me down the halls, through the corridors and to President Coin’s office.

I don’t speak to him the entire time. Looking at him makes my stomach churn with remorse and regret, though I’m not even sure who those feelings are directed towards. I’m not even sure how to articulate the way I feel right now.

And, as much as I try to force him out of my mind—as much as I do my best to rip him out from wherever he crawled beneath my skin and flooded into my veins—I inexplicably miss Peeta.

In more ways than I even know how to decipher. Even inside my own head.

I thought that feeling of longing would have ebbed away once he was rescued from Snow and his twisted mansion, but even knowing he’s safe here in Thirteen, I still crave his presence next to me.

I still want him next to me almost all the time.

It’s at least partially attributable to the fact that for so long, it was me and Peeta against the world. He has been my partner in this whirlwind rollercoaster since the first games and, even when I feel like every single aspect that could potentially go wrong has, sometimes it seems like I couldn’t have gotten luckier with who was chosen that fateful reaping to stand by my side the entire horrific ride.

I wipe my eyes as inconspicuously as I can but Gale sees and almost instinctively puts his hand on my shoulder. And proves he knows me better than I give him credit for. “I’ll talk to him, Katniss.”

“Don’t,” I immediately hiss. “You’ll just make it worse, Gale. He-he,” I struggle with explaining what I want to say and I curse my best friend for even addressing my moment of weakness because now I have to go talk to Coin, looking like an unstable mess—with a near bullet wound—and I blurt out the very first thing I can think of. “He doesn’t even know you, okay? You’ll just-“

There’s no malice in Gale’s voice as he softly replies, “Well, he was fine when I went and saw him before you woke up.”

I stop now, dead in my tracks. “You saw him? After I was shot?”

He nods slowly. “Yeah, I felt like should check on him. I know...” He pauses and looks upwards and I recognize, once again, this whole thing isn’t easy for him either. “I know he means a lot to you. And I heard what happened when he saw you go down. So I went and checked in on him...” He stops again before shrugging nonchalantly. “He was calmer by the time I saw him. He was nice. He’s always been nice.” At that Gale rolls his eyes. “Too nice. Probably why Snow wanted to hurt him.”

I start walking again, moving ahead of him a few paces. “You’re not helping,” I state, my voice a monotone.

“I’ll talk to him,” Gale offers again, running to catch up.

“Please don’t, okay? Just let it be. I don’t even know if he’ll speak to me, I don’t want to have to worry about what you’ll say to him.”

I vigorously shake off his hand on my shoulder when he tries to comfort me again, and feel him root into place as I make the rest of the way to Coin’s office.

And I wonder if I hurt him now too.

I wonder if I managed to completely annihilate them both from me in one night.

Much to my surprise and, to be completely honest, my utter disappointment, Coin doesn’t want me to head back out and fight for the rebellion. She doesn’t want me to even film more propos.

Plutarch does, but his ideas now are pretty frivolous and have more to do with him being still stuck in the fantasy of putting on a good show and less to do with fighting for the good of the country.

Coin simply says, “You did your job, Miss Everdeen. You united the districts,” in her calm, disingenuous—completely unsettling—tone.

And argument I put up is met with a simple shake of the head and a pursing of her lips. All indisputable rejections, her cold, blank eyes telling me wordlessly that in no way could I sway her once her mind was made up.

Still doesn’t stop me from trying though.

“I want to help the rebels,” I plead, looking to Boggs behind Coin’s chair, his face still stoic but his eyes giving me a look that isn’t altogether dismissive.

That was something. It was more than I was getting from either Coin or Plutarch.

Coin though brushes off my words and cuts me down infuriatingly quick with a single sentence. “Plutarch wanted to see Peeta earlier, talk about some propos. But when he sent for him, one of the doctors working with Peeta said he wasn’t having a good day.”

Her tone is smooth and pleasant enough but there was an undercurrent to her words that she knew I would hear. “Do you know how Peeta is? I would have thought with your waking up this morning, he’d be in better shape than he was but if you two aren’t getting-“

“Me and Peeta are fine,” I snap, not liking whatever she’s implying.

She nods, slowly at me, choosing her next sentiment carefully. “Well, let’s hope so. We need both of you now to remain the faces of this revolution. And I wouldn’t want you to do anything rash because of... problems between you and your... between you and Peeta.”

I’m shaking my head, feigning certainty, before she even finishes. “That’s not why I want to help the rebels,” I insist firmly.

“Irregardless, Miss Everdeen, we don’t have a job for you. You aren’t qualified to go into the fight and we no longer need your propos to unite the districts. Your job is done. Thank you for your help.”

And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I’m being definitively dismissed now. Indefinitely.

I don’t make any effort to keep my cool, instead choosing to storm out of the room, slamming the door cacophonously behind me and wonder why I let that woman get to me so much. Why her words and implications slice me open like a knife.

Why no matter how much I try, I just can’t like her.

Something about her rubs me the wrong way and, once again, I wish Peeta was here with me in the room, because he of all people could understand what about Coin felt off and strange and so familiar.

I curse myself again, as I suddenly miss him even more than before.

Unable to force myself to put my focus elsewhere—especially now that Gale is surely angry too—I change directions and head towards the recovery room.

I don’t even knock before entering. I push the door open, only to find him sitting on top of his bed, a sketchbook in hand, a lot more tranquil than I pictured.

He looks up as I enter—and then, simultaneously freeze in the doorway, like the coward I truly am inside. Before he can speak though, I blurt out, “I know you’re mad about me kissing Gale and I don’t know how much you saw or heard, but it wasn’t... it wasn’t exactly...” I stop because once again, I’m unprepared and out of my element and have no rhyme or reason in what I’m trying to say. I don’t know the right thing to say. I never know the right thing to say.

Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t screw always everything up. “It wasn’t,” I finally force myself to continue, off his patient and somewhat bewildered glance. “It wasn’t what I wanted... I didn’t want it to happen. I don’t, I don’t even know what-“

He finally puts me out of my misery now. “Katniss,” he speaks my name along with a sigh. I watch carefully, feeling a lump build in my throat, as his blonde brows furrow over his baby blues.

He shakes his head, slow and calm. Far more reasonable than I ever anticipated. “I’m not mad at you, Katniss,” he promises, with all the genuineness in the world.

I bite my lip, befuddled by his words. “But... where have you been then?” Why did you leave me? A small voice in the back of my mind demands.

He shrugs, his gaze falling down to his bed now. His demeanor is almost embarrassed, I realize with a start.

“I wanted to give you and Gale space. I’ve been practically mauling you since you woke up so I thought-“

“But I didn’t want you to leave,” I abruptly burst out, unable to shove the words down any longer.

A pang of embarrassment shoots through me though, for the pathetic crack, evident in my tone. And I mentally berate myself.

Not for the embarrassment. For the pathetic crack itself.

And for the fact that somehow I’m the frenzied one here and Peeta is the voice of reason.

Which used to be our norm but after everything that’s transpired, I would have thought things would be reversed by now.

He just stares at me for a long moment, carefully considering his next words.

Finally, he opens his arms slowly and utters, “Come here,” in a tender murmur and I practically fly into his arms before I can second guess the offer.

I feel my injured side screaming as I curl up like a ribbon in his arms, but I surpress the wince to the best of my ability and instead bury my face in his shoulder, breathing in his sweet scent like a mad girl.

He softly presses his lips to my messy locks, carefully massaging the back of my head soothingly. “I’m sorry I ran away,” he whispers, barely loud enough for even me to hear. “I was just embarrassed. I know—I’ve always known deep down—that it’s not right for me to constantly hold you to the things you said in the games. Or to project my own feelings onto you.”

“You didn’t,” I refute venomously, my brows knitting together.

“Katniss, I know you and Gale have had something between you for a long time.”

“Gale was just a friend until me and you came back from our first games. Maybe he wanted to be more even before, I don’t know, but I never felt anything romantic for him. I swear.”

“You don’t have to defend your feelings to me,” he states softly.

“I know, it’s just...” I sigh, moving to sit upright across his thighs. “No matter what I do, it’s wrong. If I say I’m confused, you’re both hurting. If I say I want to kiss you or sleep with you or just be with you, I’m leading you on because I can’t-I can’t make any promises about my feelings right now, because I don’t even know up from down anymore. And if I say I do or don’t want to kiss Gale or be around him or hunt with him still, I’m hurting him or giving him the wrong idea or telling him the wrong things, and it all gets confused and there’s an entire rebellion that I’m the face of, and now I don’t even know if I’m a part of that, but Snow and his followers all hate me still so I know family still won’t be safe until this is all over. And you. You and Johanna and Annie went through the ringer over me. And Gale gets upset whenever he sees us together—it hurts him to see us—but I can’t always seperate you two from one another and I just-I don’t know what I can do. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Peeta lets me rant the whole entire spiel out, his hand slowly moving in circles to rub my back, from the top of my spine down to my backside. “Katniss,” he whispers once I’m done. “You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I get it. You’re under immense pressure. The last thing I want to do is make things harder on you.”

“You’re not,” I say, shaking my head insistently. “You’re not making anything worse, Peeta. It’s-it’s not you.”

“Okay,” he concedes and unconsciously wraps me up tighter in his arms. “Just relax, okay? Relax and breathe.”

I quiver and quake against him. “I don’t think I can.”

I barely realize I’m crying until Peeta leans down to kiss my tearstained cheek softly. “Katniss, it’s okay. I’m not mad. And Gale shouldn’t be. If he is, then that’s on him. The rebellion isn’t just your responsibility. Do not let them put all that weight on your shoulders. I know they already have but it’s not all your responsibility. And no one is going to let anything happen to your mom or sister.” He pushes my hair away from my forehead, pressing his lips there for a long moment. “Or you. I promise I will not let anything else happen to you.”

I swallow hard as he rests his forehead against my temple. I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes that it will make my head stop spinning somehow. Deep breaths to center myself fail miserably and in the end, I feel my bruised ribs and lung disagree with the movement and ache worse than before.

Peeta feels me cringing against him in pain and remains careful as he shifts, reaching for something off his bedside table.

I’m in too much pain to react as pushes off my robe and tugs my hospital gown down in order to slide against my skin, his hand holding it firmly to my side.

The icy temperature brings some sort of relief to me almost instantly, and I let out an audible sigh of relief, feeling my rigid body relax even a minuscule amount for the first time.

“I don’t blame you for having feelings for Gale,” Peeta murmurs, drawing my attention back to our conversation and away from my painful left side. “And if you want to be with him, I won’t hold it against you. I’m not going to lie, I’d be ... sad but... it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still be your friend. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t still be at jere for you however you needed me. There’s no ultimatums here, Katniss. I’m still here for you, even if you’d rather be with Gale.”

I pause for a long moment, absorbing his words. He’d be willing to be my friend, even if I hurt him? Even if I chose someone else over him? Even after everything we went through, even after all the ways he’d been abused because Snow could see how much I care for him? How much I need him. He’s still willing to put it all aside and be there for me, no strings attached.

And I try not to compare but my brain draws the conclusion almost involuntarily, and I can’t stop myself from realizing that, in the same position, Gale would likely not be telling me the same thing.

I burrow my face deeper in his shoulder, shutting my eyes in exhaustion.

Peeta catches me off-guard, moving my hair aside to kiss my neck, eliciting a flare of heat in the place where his lips brush my skin, and I may not know exactly how I feel, but I know in that moment exactly what I want right now.

“The only person I want to be with tonight is you,” I whisper honestly, looking up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to somehow understand an emotion I don’t know how to admit. “The only person I want right now is you, Peeta.”

#everlark #thg #hunger games #my writing #asks 🦋#everlurked 🌸✨

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hutchhitched · 3 years

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What You Deserve, What You Need, What You Want

Written by: @hutchhitched

Prompt 109: Dialogue prompt: “I deserve better than this!” [submitted by @xerxia31]

Ratings/Warnings: E

A/N: I’m continuing to post the nine @everlarkficexchange prompts I took and then sat on throughout the early months of the pandemic. This is the seventh of the nine. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy. Huge thanks to @javistg for understanding the delays. Better get myself in gear to finish the last two before the next round starts!

“I deserve better than this!”

Katniss nods and pats her sister on the back. “You do, and you should say it.”

“I just did. You clearly weren’t listening.”

Prim grins at her sister, and they continue scrubbing the walls of the house Prim and her husband just purchased. Katniss really can’t believe her little sister is married, especially at the young age of 22, but Prim has always been the one who’s gotten what she wants while Katniss…

Well, if anyone deserves better than this, Katniss thinks it might be her.

“When’s your husband getting here? I thought he wasn’t going to make us do all the work. That’s clearly not the case as evidenced by my arm that’s about to fall off.”

Letting her limb drop, Katniss sits down heavily on the hardwood floor. It’s stripped and rough, ready for a good sanding and polish to make it glow like new. Right now, though, it’s rather anemic looking with blonde wood that seems old and faded. Or maybe that’s just how Katniss feels about herself. Old and faded, always in the shadow of her baby sister who everyone’s continuously adored and coddled.

It’s not that Prim’s ever taken advantage of it either. She’s as sweet and kind and generous as they come. It’s just the phenomenon that things have a tendency of working out for the younger Everdeen sibling that Katniss would envy if she didn’t love her sister so much. Still, she’s tired—drained from working hard and scraping by, exhausted from the mental toll of keeping everything together for so long when she shouldn’t have had to, and weary from hoping and wishing and being disappointed repeatedly. It sucks, and it’s not fair, but that’s reality for Katniss and Prim Everdeen.

Except Prim isn’t an Everdeen anymore. She’s married now with her husband’s name, and Katniss is the lonely older sister who hasn’t dated anyone for the past six years. If she sees one more person look at her with pity, she might have to scream.

“Ah, there’s my gorgeous husband now,” Prim says, her face beaming at the sight of her man. “Hey, honey. Missed you.”

“Missed you, too,” comes the reply, and Katniss cringes as she climbs to her feet. It’s not her ex-boyfriend, but it’s close enough. Rory Hawthorne is the spitting image of his handsome older brother who happens to be the last man Katniss let get her naked. It’s been an embarrassingly long time since she’s gone to bed with someone. She’s hurtling headlong into her sexual prime, and nothing. Not a potential to be found.

“Well, if it isn’t Catnip Everdeen! As I live and breathe.”

Katniss turns slowly to see Gale Hawthorne standing in the door, framed by sunlight and looking like a moody Greek god. Her body betrays her, and she can feel her reaction course through her veins. She forces herself to play nice and nods in his direction.

“Oh, come on,” he teases. “I can’t get a hug and a kiss from an old flame and my current sister-in-law? We’re family now. Where’s the love?”

Katniss stands woodenly as Gale embraces her and kisses her on the cheek. It’s awkward as hell, but Gale’s never been able to read the room well when he’s already made up his mind. She tenses as a ruckus sounds outside, and it’s not long before a handful of men pour into the house. They’re all tall and varying stages of broad, and every one of them is dressed as some version of a cool-kid-construction-worker.

“What are you? Part of a new boy band? Performing covers for the Village People?”

Rory steps between them. “Hey! Truce. This is my house, and you’re upsetting my wife. Knock it off.”

All the men hoot and holler, catcalling Gale and, by extension, her except for one who slinks along the outside of the room. He seems embarrassed by the toxic masculinity, and he brushes his hair off his forehead in a riot of ashy blonde curls. Katniss likes him immediately.

“And I deserve that,” Katniss says in a stage whisper to her sister as she nods her head. “Who’s he, and why haven’t I been introduced?”

Prim calls to the room. “Calm yourselves, boys. Meet my sister, Katniss. Katniss, these are the guys. You know Gale, and these three are Thom and Darius and Rye. The one over there is Rye’s brother Peeta. He’s the well-behaved one. Maybe you can help him today. You don’t deserve any of these other guys. They’ll only make you question your life choices and swear off men for good.”

Katniss waves at them all, showing her annoyance at their behavior in her tight smile. Giving each of them a wide berth, she crosses the room and approaches Peeta. “Nice to meet you,” she says, and he flashes her a smile that, in tandem with his cerulean blue eyes, makes her knees weak. Oh yes, she definitely deserves better, and he just might be it.

“Nice to meet you, too, Katniss,” he answers in a voice that makes her want to strip down and let him have his way with her. His voice isn’t just sexy; it’s absolutely scandalous.

She swallows her arousal and asks as casually as she can, “You need any help? I hear you’re the only one here who won’t sexualize me.”

He chuckles, and she contemplates selling her soul to the devil for a shot with him. She’s never been attracted to someone this intensely in such a short amount of time. It’s actually quite unnerving for someone like her who’s fairly shy and quiet and aloof.

“Well, I can’t promise I won’t fall for you by the end of the day, but I’ll do my best.” When he winks at her, she vows to make it happen. She has no idea how, but she’s got a few hours to figure it out.

They spend the afternoon together sanding and painting. If she brushes against him multiple times, he doesn’t seem to mind. When he brackets her in his arms as she holds a section of drywall, she leans back against him. His chest is hard behind her, and she breathes in his scent. He’s a glorious combination of clean sweat and cinnamon from what must be his aftershave. He laughs at her jokes and entertains her with stories of his own. She’s never been great at making friends, but it’s so easy with him. At one point, she catches Prim’s eye as the afternoon slides into evening, and her sister winks at her.

As the sun sets, things wind down. One by one, Rory and Prim’s friends say goodbye and make their respective exits. Gale seems to want to linger, but Rory and Prim remind him they’re spending the night at his place and insist they need showers before they treat him to dinner. He’s not very happy about it, but her ex-boyfriend leaves after giving her a suspicious look that makes her want to stick out her tongue at him. Katniss promises to lock the door behind her when she leaves, and then she and Peeta are alone with the house quiet around them. There’s a sudden strain between them that makes her squirm. After the ease of the day, the isolation is a little awkward, so she figures she might as well ease the tension with a lame joke.

“Well, now that we’re alone…” Peeta chuckles and gives her a lopsided grin. She worries her knees will give out as the power of it hits her, so she leans heavily against the newly spackled section of the wall.

“I had a really nice time working with you. When Rory asked me to help today, I didn’t think—” He breaks off and ducks his head as his face and neck redden.

Laughing at his bashfulness, she asks, “You didn’t think what? You’re awfully cute with pink cheeks, by the way, so you might as well go ahead and tell me.”

“I didn’t think I’d be matched up with someone so pretty.” She ducks her head, not used to flattery. “I just had a really, really good day. I was due for one or two of those. Really needed it.”

“Well, I’m glad I could give you what you needed.”

The air’s charged with electricity, and she raises her eyes to look at him. His are hooded, pupils dilated, as he stares at her. She has the sudden realization that she’s alone with someone she barely knows, and he’s looking at her like she’s a snack for him to devour.

“I wonder,” he says, his voice dropping an octave. “I wonder if you could.”

“If I could what?”

This isn’t supposed to happen to her. She’s never been this lucky in anything and definitely not this fortunate in relationships. Yet, somehow, he’s here with her and seems to want what she’s just realizing might be possible. He walks toward her slowly, licking his lips as he does, and stops so close that she can feel his body heat.

“If you could give me what I really need.”

Her throat’s dry, and she gives a tiny squeak when she tries to speak. He lifts his hand to brush away the stray tendrils of hair that escaped from her braid as they worked. His fingertips sweep lightly across her cheek, and his thumb strokes along her bottom lip. She wants to suck on it.

“I thought you promised not to fall for me.”

“Oh, no,” he argued. “In fact, I think I promised exactly the opposite—that I couldn’t promise not to. Now, the question remains. Can you?”

“Give you what you really need?”

“And will you?”

“I’d like to try,” she whispers. “I really would.”

“I think you’re the type that really tries.” His voice is husky and deep, and she shivers when his breath ghosts across her neck. “In fact, I think you’re the kind of woman who believes in trying multiple times until she’s sure everyone is perfectly satisfied. Am I right?”

Katniss squeaks again, unable to answer right away. He strokes her arm slowly, brushing up and down and grazing the side of her breast. She’s positive he knows exactly what he’s doing to her.

“Satisfaction’s the goal,” she finally croaks.

He crushes into her then, his body full and tight against hers as he pushes her into the wall and kisses her like a man possessed. His mouth is hot and wet and perfect. His tongue sweeps along hers, massages and plundering so deeply she can only gasp and respond in kind. He’s everywhere—his scent, his arms and hands and chest, his soft moans catching in the back of his throat, heat leaching from his skin. It’s too much and not nearly enough. It’s overwhelming, but she wants every speck of it.

There’s an old couch in the back room, and Peeta lifts her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and carries her to it. He lays her out on it without breaking the kiss and settles in between her legs. Bucking upward, she whimpers at the friction. He’s solid and heavy, and she basks in the weight. Anxiety bleeds from her, and she sighs into the kiss.

“Katniss,” he whispers, her word a sermon of longing and awe.

“I don’t ever do this,” she answers, her eyes closed and breath uneven. When he makes a move to pull back, she threads her fingers through his hair. “No, don’t stop.”

Peeta grunts in response and sucks the spot at the hinge of her jaw. His hands are all over her. Long fingers, massive palms, and blunt fingernails that knead, warming her skin and pushing her closer to the edge. He rucks up her shirt, and she shivers as he slides down her body and laves at the skin there. When his hand runs up the bare skin of her inner thigh, she moans lustily and considers begging him for more.

“Take this off,” he requests, his tone polite and gentle, but there’s an underlying authority that makes her want to obey. He helps her to upright and watches as she tugs her tank top over her head. When’s she free, he caresses her torso before reaching behind her to unlatch her bra. Squirming under his scrutiny, she’s vulnerable, but he takes care as he fiddles with her waistband and then shoves her shorts down her legs. She’s left with nothing but a scrap of peach silk between her legs. “You have no idea the effect you have, do you? No clue how crazy you drove me all day today in your little bitty clothes. Are you a tease, Katniss, or are you that unaware how beautiful you are?”

“I’m not—”

“You are, and tonight you get what you deserve. What you need. What you want so much you don’t even know how to say it, but I know because I want it, too.”

His hand is between her legs, his fingers brushing aside the fabric, his thumb pressing on her clit, his palm cupping her heat. She can’t think, and that’s exactly what she wants. She deserves to feel good; she needs someone to help with that, and she wants it to be him.

“Please.” The word echoes in the air between them, shimmering with longing.

His face is between her legs, buried in her pussy, licking and sucking at her swollen lips. She twists under him, desperate to get away at the same time she wants to grind into his mouth and let him make her break. She cries out, overwhelmed at how quickly she’s wet. Her shins are on his shoulders, her legs bent so he can lick deeper into her, and she can’t do anything but enjoy it. She’s helpless to resist him, not that she’d want to try.

She doesn’t. He’s too good at it. His mouth is fire, devouring her like it’s his only job—to be put on earth and eat her out. Not only doesn’t she last, it’s shockingly fast. When he curls his tongue into her and then sucks her clit so hard she sees stars, she arches and allows warm honey to ooze through her. Thrashing under him, she doesn’t try to stay quiet or still. There’s no way when he’s so good at this anyway. When she melts into the cushions, he sits up and grins at her with a wet chin and a dangerous glint in his eyes.

“These panties are completely ruined,” he murmurs and tears them in two. When she groans, he pulls them free and trails them over her heated skin. “You feel that? Sopping wet. That’s all you, sweetheart. All of that wetness is you telling me how good I make you feel. I bet we can both keep going, though. Don’t you think?”

She doesn’t trust herself to speak, so she merely nods and then watches in appreciation as he unbuttons his shirt and shrugs it over his shoulders. Miles of smooth, honeyed pink skin is bared for her, and she licks her lips eagerly. He stands and unbuckles his belt, putting on a show for her. Cheeky and a tiny bit cocky, he shifts his hips until he springs free. He’s hard and long and thick and ready, and she wants it.

“Flip over,” he says. “Get up on your hands and knees.”

She does, quivering in anticipation and hisses when he spreads her cheeks and rubs his cock against her. It’s torture not being able to see him, but she can hear the tear of a foil packet before he’s pressing against her, his blunt head probing her entrance. Impatient, she rears back, but he holds her hips firmly, easing into her and stretching her around him.

“Such a tight little pussy,” he grunts. “Perfect, and so fucking wet. Tell me what you want, sweetheart. Tell me everything. Let me give it to you. Take what you deserve.”

She wails his name. She needs him inside, and he has to move. He has to. She’s going to die if he doesn’t. She’s never been good at dirty talk, but he pushes a button that lets it pour forth. Her requests are filthy, lewd, and debased, but he fulfills every single request.

She can’t remember the last time someone fucked her quite like this, but that’s what this is. He’s in charge, and she’s merely along for the ride. He thrusts upward and lifts her knees off the couch with every stroke. Scrambling for purchase, she clings to the back of the couch. It’s rough and dirty and quick, and she screams when he reaches around and rubs her clit furiously. Her arms give, and he holds her aloft as he slams into her repeatedly.

She crests another wave when he finally comes, pouring into the condom while her walls grip and flutter around him. They fall into a tangled heap with him slumped over her. Sweaty and panting for breath, she can’t move. He’s still inside her, hot and spent but not quite soft. She never wants him to move again.

“You never do this, huh?” he finally groans. “You sure seem to know what you’re doing.”

Katniss giggles, the action so unfamiliar that it startles her for a minute. But then she’s laughing, filled with mirth and relief and something that seems a little bit like hope. He joins her, his baritone melding with her treble tone to form a glorious harmony. Finally, she regains control and shifts her head so she can kiss his forehead gently.

“You’re right, and you should say it.”

“Can I get your number? I’d kinda like to see if you know how to date. I bet you’d be really good at that, too.”

Katniss grins and sighs with happiness. “I can give you my number, but you don’t need it to ask me on a date. Just do it. I’ll say yes.”

Peeta grins lazily and strokes her back. He trails his lips across her cheek to her mouth and kisses her softly. “Will you go out with me?”

“Yes,” she answers firmly. “Is tonight too soon?”

“Tonight can’t get here soon enough.”

#everlarkficexchange #springtime edition 2020 #prompt 109 #everlark fanfiction #everlark #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #what you deserve what you need

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everlarkficquestions · 3 years

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Sunday Stumped Day 35

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on.

In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories. If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks.

If you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/ ask/ with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks. Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26, Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

576. Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions: Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?

577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕

578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!

579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕

580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx

581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help

582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?

(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose

583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)

584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺

(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams

585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!

586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!

587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?

588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗

588 FOUND! Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose

589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple

589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author. Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback

590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?

591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.

592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!

593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3

593 FOUND! The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8

594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....." That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)

(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8

595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!

(595) FOUND by the asker! Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder

596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

#+#mod post #sunday stumped day #ssd 35 #we're stumped #576-596

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everlarkbirthdaygifts · 3 years

Text

Happy Birthday, socmono!

Happy belated Birthday, @socmono! We hope you had a wonderful day back on the 14th, and that you got exactly the presents you were hoping for! To bring the birthday feels back around, the lovely @endlessnightlock has written a story just for you!

I’m sorry this is so late! This story spiraled out of control inside my head, resulting in a “drabble” that is almost 7000 words long (eep)- I also have plans to add a little more on the end before I post it on Ao3, so keep your eyes peeled for that.

My inspiration for this story came from one of my favorite oldies- the 1968 Dusty Springfield song Son Of A Preacher Man. If you haven’t heard that one, I suggest giving it a listen before reading this.

This story isn’t religious, but it does have some mild religious themes (including religious guilt) because it features Peeta as a preacher’s son in the late 1960s. Also I have mentioned two separate church denominations simply because, to my knowledge, neither condone alcohol use. There is no other reason for the mentions :).

This story is also rated E for underage sexual contact.

(Have I covered everything? I think so.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katniss picked at the loose thread that’d made its way out of the darts in her dress. Frowning in concentration, she valiantly tried to work the string free since it insisted on mocking her the way it was. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get away with messing with it for long, not with Momma next to her on the sofa.

Momma always had something to say about Katniss’s fidgeting- said a seventeen-year-old girl had no need for such restless energy; that was why she was so unladylike. No one complained about her vigor much when she was getting up before the crack of dawn to go out to the woods and track down meat for their dinner, and that was the truth.

“Katniss!”

At the sound of her harshly whispered name, Katniss caught her mother’s eye and let her hand drop back to her side with a barely-concealed huff. For her own good, she bit back a scowl. In no way was she in the mood for another lecture from Momma about giving herself early frown lines.

It was a hardship being a wild girl tethered to a parent who forever wanted to make you like them.

From the other side of the room, Katniss caught a muffled laugh from Peeta, and it took everything in her power not to glare at him- he knew better than to laugh at her, especially over her frustration with this stupid dress. It was a ridiculous thing, anyway. It certainly hadn’t been Katniss’s choice to wear it in the first place; it was so outdated with its knee-length skirt and tailored top lined with pearl-glazed buttons that were a bit tight across her bust since she’d had a bit of a growth spurt figure-wise this summer.

Even the dress’s color was out of style: a soft, faded blue that wasn’t like anything currently being worn, although Katniss didn’t mind that part of it so much. She didn’t go for the garish yellows, reds, and browns presently in fashion- not that it mattered; her papa wouldn’t dream of letting her go anywhere in the type of miniskirts her friend Madge wore, anyway.

“Katniss,” Papa said softly, setting his coffee cup on the table next to his chair, his kind grey eyes focusing on her, sensing her discomfort.

At the sound of her father's voice, she let out the breath she'd been holding. He was her saving grace- Papa understood her better than Momma ever would.

“Why don’t you take Peeta and go for a walk or something? It’s too nice of a day for a couple of young folks to be stuck indoors while their folks talk politics.”

“Or religion,” Reverend Mellark, Peeta’s father, added, smiling in that slightly blank way he had that made Katniss wonder if the man had ever had an earth-bound thought cross his mind. Of course, with Peeta’s mother, she couldn’t say she blamed him for preferring to immerse himself in his theology books.

Katniss nodded, setting her iced-tea glass on the end table willing herself to act naturally. She stood, glancing briefly at Peeta before looking away again. The glee in his light blue eyes prevented her from paying him any mind in front of the adults. They might catch on to something. “Well, come on then,” she said, her voice low.

“Don’t go too far, Katniss. I’m going to need your help getting supper around when the Reverend leaves,” Momma reminded her as she stood to leave the room so the men could talk alone, which is what they’d planned on doing all along.

“Yes, Momma.”

xoxoxo

“You don’t seem all that happy to see me today,” Peeta told her as they stepped out the kitchen, the screen door slamming shut behind them. Katniss grimaced at the brilliant afternoon sunshine meeting them. It was hot and muggy- the kind of July day that wasn’t good for much other than swimming in the creek or lying in the shade with a book.

“That’s not it,” she told him, catching his eye and shrugging. “Come on, let’s go out a little further.”

Peeta grinned at her, shoving his hands in the pockets of his khaki’s as they walked. They headed in the direction of the back end of the Everdeen's expansive property. Chickens scattered around their feet as they made their way down the packed-earth drive; the birds ran towards the garden to look for bugs to eat.

“I get tired of these dang birds,” Katniss admitted to him, frowning as she stepped over a pile of droppings. No one wanted chicken shit on their church shoes. “You’re lucky you don’t have to keep livestock in town. Watch your step- right there,” she admonished Peeta- he’d come dangerously close to stepping in a pile of excrement. Being a town boy, he wasn't as adept at looking out for himself here.

“They ain’t so bad,” he said, stepping around the mess, “at least you don’t get stuck making house calls to Ms. Trinkett’s with my father every Monday night,” he nudged her lightly with his elbow. “I’d take regular chickens over those ladies any day.”

Katniss glanced over her shoulder quickly, hoping Momma hadn’t seen them from her vantage spot at the kitchen window. Momma and Papa insisted she wasn't old enough to have a boyfriend yet, even if it was the preacher's son. Despite her concern at getting caught being so familiar with him, Katniss snorted, picturing Ms. Effie and her sister.

The Trinket sisters, one long-widowed and one a lifetime spinster, were a bit over the top for a rural community like Panem. ”I can’t disagree, ” she told him, ”Momma says they're something else.”

She and Peeta were nearly at the back of the lean-to then, just out of sight of the house, so Katniss grabbed his arm, tugging him behind the building with her where no one could see. Once there, she threw her arms around his neck. “I am happy to see you,” Katniss said, smiling coyly.

He grinned at her forwardness. In a move that was quick enough to leave her laughing in surprise, Peeta spun the pair of them around until her back was the one against the outbuilding. He caged her in with his body there, letting his hands come to rest on either side of her shoulders as she giggled. “Well, that makes two of us,” Peeta told her. He ran the tip of his nose across her cheek, nuzzling against her before his lips met hers. He kissed her gently at first and then deeper, with ease they’d perfected over the last month of these “walks.”

Katniss still wasn’t sure what their fathers found so interesting to discuss that it brought the Mellarks out with such frequency.

There was a question for Peeta laying heavy on her mind, though, nagging at her. Katniss wasn’t sure if she’d like the answer, but she had to know before things went any further between them, so she just said it.

“You’re not kissing girls at every house you visit with your papa, are you Peeta?”

He frowned, studying her face, before giving her a small, unreadable smile. In a flash, he’d tilted his head and begun trailing his lips down the side of her neck in a way that made her pulse flutter like a bird’s wings while bathing in a puddle.

“Peeta-“ she warned, but he just chuckled.

“I might’ve kissed a few girls before, but you’re the only one I’m kissing now,” he reassured her softly, words vibrating against her skin. ”Are you puckering up to any other fellas? For instance, what about that friend of yours- the one who helps your father at harvest?”

“Do you mean Gale?”

“Yeah, I mean Gale,” he admitted, his voice tight.

Was he jealous? The thought kind of thrilled her. Katniss chewed on her lip before exhaling against his shoulder because he still wasn’t looking at her. “He, ah, he did kiss me once,” she admitted, thinking it was better to be honest since it was just him and her right now. “Might have done a little more than kissing-”

Peeta tensed against her.

“But that was last summer,” Katniss told him.

There wasn’t much to tell- Gale had tried putting his tongue in her mouth, and he’d touched her breasts over her shirt a little. It wasn’t like there was much of anything there for him to grab at the time. Either way, she hadn’t liked it, so she asked him to stop pretty quickly. Katniss hadn’t given what happened with Gale much thought before now- she’d just assumed she didn’t like making out like other girls did. She felt different about it with Peeta, though.

“Well, I haven’t done much more than kissing myself,” he admitted.

Katniss was sort of relieved. She hadn’t thought Peeta was a fast boy- not that it would’ve changed her opinion of him if he had been. If he’d gotten around a little more than her, then he just had. Either way, she still would’ve liked him the same; it only made her more comfortable knowing he didn’t have much experience either.

Frankly, the only girl Katniss wanted Peeta to be fast with was her.

What she wanted to do with him was probably considered a sin in the Lord’s eyes, but that wasn’t going to stop her a bit. All she knew for sure was that while she hadn’t been kissing Peeta Mellark for very long, he always made her want more. It was hard to be good all the time, no matter how hard she tried. Wrong or right, being with him made her feel like she was flying.

She sighed when his hand curled around her waist and pulled her closer. He still maintained a polite distance between their bodies, but she stepped closer to him, pressing her breasts against his chest for the first time. She had the strongest urge to feel his touch there- just that light press was overwhelming.

Peeta must’ve enjoyed that because he pulled her tighter, lining his hard chest against her softer curves. Breathless with anticipation, she was just about to take his hand and move it up to her breast when he dropped his hands away from her and stepped back.

“What’s wrong?” Katniss asked, studying him for signs that she’d done something wrong. Didn’t he like that?

His eyes looked kind of wild, she thought.

“Don’t you wanna-“

Peeta’s gaze raked over her face. “Can you sneak away tonight?” he asked, eagerly. “Would you meet me like we did last time?”

Just last week, Katniss snuck out and met up with him once her family had gone to bed. They’d sat by the creek, ditching their shoes and rolling up the cuffs of their pant legs to dip their toes in the water. There’d been some fooling around, but mostly, they’d just talked until she started having trouble keeping her eyes open.

She figured tonight, though, Peeta wanted to do more kissing than talking. That was alright with her.

Without considering it much, she bit her lip and nodded. “Yeah, I can.”

Momma and Papa went to bed as soon as the sun went down, so the house was always quiet by ten or so. She wasn’t sure how Peeta managed to get his father’s car to drive out and meet her, but then again, she’d never asked him about it.

“Great!” he said, his grin as wide as a Cheshire cat.

His enthusiastic reaction made her giggle, a sound she was pretty sure only Peeta had ever solicited from her. Katniss was disappointed when he stepped away from her, signaling an end to their impromptu makeout session, but he still kissed her gently, his lips melting her frown away before she had a chance to argue with him. That soothed her.

“Don’t scowl at me that way,” he said, “you know I wanna kiss you. I just don’t know if we ought to risk showing up again, looking like that’s what we’ve been doing. Your momma and papa will figure out what we’re up to; she looked funny enough at us last week.”

Katniss knew he was right, so with a resigned sigh, she stepped away from the side of the lean-to; they’d have to wait until tonight for more, she guessed. Pushing her disappointment aside, she grabbed his hand and tugged, indicating he should follow her. “You’re right, Peeta Mellark, just like always. Come on then- if you’re not going to hold me, then you can at least come and see the new litter of kittens in the barn.”

xoxoxoxoxoxo

That evening, when the frogs were singing in the trees, and the crickets were making a real ruckus from down in the grass, Katniss found Peeta sitting on a log by the creek behind her house, just like he said he’d be. It was way past sundown, but she could still see well enough, besides= she’d know the broadness of his shoulders and the tousled back of his head anywhere.

Her bare feet sunk in the damp, sandy soil lining the bank where she stood off to the side, studying Peeta’s profile- he was so handsome it made her chest hurt sometimes. He hadn’t heard her approach, though, so Katniss let him know she was there too after a moment. “Been waitin’ long?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“Hey,” Peeta greeted her, smiling warmly, catching her eye as he looked over his shoulder. As she approached, he scooted down the log, making room for her to sit next to him. “No, it hasn’t been long- ten minutes or so at the most.”

Katniss sat down next to him and pulled her hair over one shoulder, using it as a shade she could use to peer around at him. She’d worn it loose around her shoulders the way she knew he liked, and, thankfully, that dress from earlier was long gone, replaced by jeans and an old button-down shirt. She felt much more like herself this way.

“It’s a pretty night,” she said, feeling a little shy now that they were alone in the dark.

The remainder of the afternoon, once Peeta and his father left, she’d been distracted by thoughts of him and what they might get into tonight. The hours had dragged by until Momma and Papa were finally in bed, and she could sneak out to meet him.

”It is, ” Peeta agreed, “but not nearly as pretty as you.”

“Flatterer.”

He just grinned in answer.

The moon was full, reflecting off the shallow creek water. It was bright enough that she could make out the look on her face and the way he sat, totally focused on her. ”I’m glad you made it.” Katniss told him, her voice soft.

”I wouldn’t have missed the chance to see you.”

She scooted closer to him. “You know, Peeta; I gotta ask you something.”

“What is it?” he said the words as if he’d gladly tell her every thought that had ever entered his head. He took her hand in his.

Katniss curled her fingers through his and squeezed. It was wonderful to touch him again freely. “How is it that you manage to get the Reverend’s car out without anyone noticing?” she asked, her curiosity getting the best of her. “I know he’s got his head in the clouds all the time, but my momma would sure notice me starting up our car after everyone’s gone to bed for the night.” She laughed. “If I weren’t on foot coming to meet you, I’d be out of luck.”

“But I’d find a way to pick you up,” Peeta said, looking down at their hands. “I gotta see my girl.”

“Your girl?”

“Yeah. My girl- neither heaven nor hell would stop me.” He paused after his declaration and snorted. “My father probably wouldn’t approve of the sentiment behind those words; I don’t think.”

“I don’t know about heaven or hell getting in the way, but what about your momma- doesn’t she try stopping you?” Katniss prodded. He still hadn’t answered her question.

Peeta glanced away, scratching the back of his head with his free hand. She had the distinct impression there was something he wasn’t telling her. Things grew quiet, and the longer he was silent, and the longer she sat curling her toes in and out of the sand, the more sure she was that he was keeping something from her. Peeta took forever to answer; he seemed to be weighing what to say, frowning into the dark in concentration. It was painful to watch.

“What is it?” Katniss asked, breaking the silence. She wasn’t going to make him do something if he didn’t want to. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“I don’t- ah, hell. Why not. The thing is, you can’t say anything to anyone.” Peeta finally said, glancing her way again. He looked nervous. “You gotta promise me that.”

Katniss nodded, scooting closer to him on the log. “Of course.” Even if Peeta hadn’t been her boyfriend, she still wasn’t one for running her mouth about everyone else’s business.

He sighed resignedly, looking pained. “So I don’t know if you know this, I think some people suspect and some know, but Momma likes to drink. Drinks quite a lot.”

Katniss’s eyebrows shot up. While their church wasn’t a bunch of complete teetotalers like the Baptists or the Apostolic church up the road were, their congregation certainly frowned upon overindulgence in alcohol. “Oh,” was all she could manage, her mind whirring with what he’d told her.

Peeta huffed. “Maybe “likes” isn’t the right word- I’d say she has to drink. She does it most all day- says it keeps her in her right mind. But then nighttime rolls around, and at that point, it’s a lot more. By the time she goes to bed, she isn’t in any state to wake up again. An elephant stomping through the kitchen wouldn’t rouse her once she’s passed out.”

“Peeta,” she said, hating that she’d made him feel bad to find out the truth.

He kept talking as if she hadn’t said anything. “That’s why me and the Reverend go visit the Trinkett ladies every week. Momma likes their home-brew the best. She’s real nasty if she doesn’t get it.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered- and she was. Her momma and pappa were over-protective and kept her under tight reign, but at least they paid attention to her. She never doubted they were thinking of what was best for her or her baby sister Prim. She couldn’t say that about Peeta’s theologian father, who liked to distract himself with his religious books, and certainly not about his over-indulging mother.

“I don’t like it- leaves the Reverend and me to play clean up after her all the time- have to tell folks she’s sick or has a headache when usually it’s just the drink.” Peeta finally looked at her, and this time he had a wistful smile on his face that didn’t quite make it to his eyes. “But then again, it ain’t all bad, having no one pay you no mind. It makes it a whole lot easier to sneak away and see your girl.”

“I wish we didn’t have to sneak off this way, though. Don’t you?” Katniss said abruptly.

There really ought to be some sort of happy medium between not being allowed to have a boyfriend like her momma and papa and Peeta’s folks who barely recognized his existence. She wanted to have a relationship in front of others; she wanted the whole world to know Peeta was her boyfriend. She was proud of him- he was a catch.

“We won’t always,” he insisted. “I swear- your momma will change her mind about you having a boyfriend eventually, and then we won’t have to do this anymore. And it’s not like you’re dating some hooligan-”

She laughed.

“How much more respectable can you get than the preacher’s son?”

“You aren’t that respectable, Peeta Mellark,” Katniss said, leaning into his shoulder with a sigh and letting her hip rest against his. They couldn’t be sitting much closer now if they tried, but she wanted to be close to him, to show him how much his trust in her meant. “No matter who your papa is.”

“Do you want me to be respectable all the time?” He asked, wrapping his free arm around her waist. His hand came to rest at her side, and he curled it against her, rubbing her hip. His fingers slipped just under the tails of her shirt, the calloused tips of his fingers brushing against her skin.

She shook her head. “Not really, no. You don’t kiss like a respectable boy.”

“I feel the least respectable of all when you’re sitting with me like this. The things I’m thinking about you are positively sinful,” Peeta admitted, quirking his lips in a funny little smile that was much more genuine than its predecessor.

“Me too,” Katniss said softly, her voice so low it must’ve been difficult to hear over the crickets chirping behind them or the gurgle of the creek.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, if it is a sin, then the Lord will just have to forgive me; I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t touch you more,” he admitted, startling her with his bluntness.

Katniss licked her lips, excited and nervous. “Go ahead then,” she told him boldly.

“Maybe I will,” Peeta said, his eyes lighting up.

“Well, maybe I want you to.”

“Really?”

Instead of answering, Katniss leaned into him. She let her free hand rest against the line of his jaw, and Peeta tilted his face into her touch and let his eyes droop closed. “I like you an awful lot- do you know that?” she said.

His eyes fluttered open again, and Katniss watched him turn his hand and kiss the palm of her hand; it was a sweet gesture, but one that made her heart race. His lips were like petals, and his breath was warm when it fluttered against her skin. “I do, but a fella doesn’t get tired of hearing it,” he told her softly.

Katniss laughed under her breath, relishing in the way Peeta always made her smile until her cheeks hurt. It was funny to be kissing him sometimes when he felt so much like a friend- she liked talking to him just as much as she liked kissing him.

“I was kind of hoping you were going to throw yourself at me again like you did earlier this afternoon,” he confessed.

“What are you going to do- just sit there while I ravish your body?”

“Maybe for a bit, but I kinda looked forward to doing some ravishing myself,” Peeta admitted.

Katniss snorted, but not for long because he moved into her, smiling against her lips before nudging them lightly with his own, playing with her, prodding at her mouth until she opened to him. Their teeth bumped from their open-mouth laughter; there was a little more hesitancy, but then he pulled her closer and sunk his hand in her hair, and she found herself lost in the taste and feel of him.

After kissing her until they were both breathless, Peeta pulled away. Tilting her head to the side, he trailed the tip of his tongue around the shell of her ear before sucking the lobe into his wet, warm mouth.

“Sweet lord-“ she whispered, shivering.

Peeta held her tight against his side, one arm around her waist while the other hand settled on her belly, just above the waistband of her jeans. His lips moved down her neck until he reached the bit of skin open to him at the top of her shirt.

Giving in to that same urge from earlier, brought on now by his closeness to such an intimate part of her body, Katniss took his hand, lifting it to the first button of her shirt.

Peeta stopped what he was doing, mouth freezing against her skin. He tensed with indecision, so she squeezed his hand in reassurance- Katniss wanted him to see her and touch her more than she’d wanted anything. Her nipples felt tight, her breasts aching for his hands. “Please,” she asked, curling his fingers into the shirt so there was no way he wouldn’t understand her meaning. “I want you to, so bad.”

Her words must’ve given him the confidence he needed because he sat up and kissed her passionately. His hand at the placket of her shirt was shaking under her hand, but when she let hers drop to her side, he began undoing the buttons regardless.

Katniss closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing as more and more of her skin was exposed to the night air. She hadn’t worn a brassiere out here to meet him, wanting one less barrier impeding them. That thought made her lick her lips, nervous to see what he would think of her and wondering when Peeta would notice.

“Oh, you’re not,” he faltered as he pushed her shirt open slightly. “You’re naked under here,” he said dumbly.

Katniss peeked her eyes open. Peeta’s focus was on the space between her breasts; just the inside curve was visible, the fabric caught on her nipples, keeping everything from being revealed to him just yet. He looked stunned- his eyes were wide, and even in the dark, she could see the color in his fair face was high. He backed away from her, and she couldn’t help notice the way his hands clenched and unclenched in his lap.

“You can touch me,” she said breathlessly, encouraging him.

Peeta met her eyes, looking like a deer in the headlights, paralyzed with doubt. Katniss realized that for all his big talk about it being a sin not to touch her, he was still nervous, so she took his hand and slid it beneath her shirt, her eyes steady on his the whole time. The skin on his palm was soft, and his fingers were warm and slightly calloused against her sensitive skin as it curled around her. She gasped, leaning into his touch as he dragged his thumb across her nipple, triggering pleasant warmth that began at her breasts but spread down to her belly.

Peeta dropped down onto his knees in front of her, pushing the shirt off her shoulders. She shrugged the material the rest of the way off her body. Once it was gone, he gawked openly at her, his hands frozen at his sides again.

She kind of wished he would do something instead of just staring at her breasts- it was starting to make her second guess taking her shirt off. Maybe they weren’t ready for this yet. In a fit of sudden shyness, Katniss crossed her arms over her chest and covered herself. Her bravado was evaporating by the second.

The movement stirred him out of the daze he’d fallen into, and he looked up at her then. Being able to see his eyes again steadied her nerves a little.

“Do you want me to take off mine too?” he asked, reaching for the bottom of his shirt.

“Yeah, I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” she admitted, laughing a little. “You’re makin’ me nervous the way you’re staring, is all.”

Peeta let his head drop.“You’re just- you’re so beautiful, Katniss. I’ve never seen anything like you before.”

“You’ve never seen breasts?” she asked, frowning at him.

He looked up at her again and shrugged. “I’ve seen some in magazines, but I’ve never had a girl show me hers before.”

And then Peeta tugged his t-shirt up and over his head, tossing it down beside them.

She couldn’t think of anything smart to reply- it was her turn to gape at him. She’d seen shirtless boys before, but not one of them had looked so beautiful as Peeta did, kneeling in front of her the way he was. He was slim in the waist but broad through the shoulders and chest. He had muscular arms, and in the moonlight, his skin seemed to glow.

Katniss bit her lip. Did he feel the same way looking at her that she did him?

Peeta moved in closer to her, dislodged the piece of flesh from beneath her teeth with his thumb. Then, with his hand still at the corner of her mouth, he kissed her open-mouthed, with more passion than she’d ever felt from him. As his tongue brushed hers, he slid his arms around her waist. Katniss spread her knees apart, wanting him closer. Peeta moved between them and pulled her flush, pressing their bare chests together.

The feel of being skin-to-skin with him was overwhelming. There were so many places Katniss wanted to touch him, so her hands began to roam: his hair, his back, his arms- she found that when she drug her fingers down his sides, he squirmed a little. He must be ticklish there.

And all the while, while they kissed and touched each other, feeling wild and free and alive, her body became something she’d never been so aware of until that moment. Katniss snaked her legs around Peeta’s hips and tugged him forward until she had his hardness lined up to her center. “You feel-,” he groaned in her ear, thrusting against her. With the first movement, she went from feeling warm and tingly to downright aching.

If he was still talking, he must be doing better than she was- Katniss knew she couldn’t form words if her life depended on it. All she wanted was to feel more of him and more of what they were doing to each other.

Katniss dropped her hand down between their bodies, taken by an urge to touch what she was feeling- she cupped his erection over his pants, and he thrust into her grip.

When she looked at Peeta’s face, she was stunned by his glassy-eyed, slack-jawed expression. It startled her a little, so she took her hand away, ashamed of herself for doing something so daring without asking him first, but he grabbed her wrist, lightning-fast.

“Don’t stop, please,” he begged. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“You liked that?” Katniss asked, leaning her forehead against his neck. With all the feelings running wild through her, she couldn’t look him in the eye.

Peeta took her hand, placing it over his hardness again. He curled her fingers around him so that she was gripping him.

When she rubbed him through the thick material of his jeans, kissing his neck and collarbone because she couldn’t look him in the eye, it seemed like he stopped breathing. Katniss touched him that way but eventually grew frustrated with the way his jeans left so much to the imagination, plus it felt a little awkward. “Can I-” she trailed off, running her fingertip up his zipper.

Peeta’s hand curled around her waist, turning his head to speak in her ear. “You can do anything you want.” His voice was breathless, his chest heaving against hers like he’d run a mile.

She moved her hand up to the button on his pants, and when her fingers brushed against his taut skin above the waistline, he sucked in a breath. “Are you sure?” Katniss asked one last time, her fingers curling inside the waist of his jeans.

Peeta dropped his lips to hers, kissing her fervently. She guessed that was her answer. Katniss moved to the button of his pants and undid it before carefully pulling down his zipper in almost painfully heavy silence. When his fly was open, she only hesitated for a moment before slipping her hand in his underwear and wrapping it around him.

“Oh god, oh god, oh my god,” Peeta muttered against her mouth, lips slack.

He didn’t seem capable of kissing her as she touched him; that was alright- she wanted to be uninhibited in her exploration of his body. His dick was larger than she thought it would be, and his skin was petal-soft but rigid beneath the surface, and he seemed to be growing stiffer as she rubbed her hand up and down the length of him. It seemed strange, but she could feel his pulse in her hand. When she made her way to the top, Katniss moved her thumb across the head, rubbing the small amount of dampness into him on instinct.

“Fuck,” Peeta gasped, gripping her forearm.

“You’ve got a dirty mouth,” Katniss told him breathlessly, never hearing him swear before. This night was full of surprises and what she was doing to him excited her more by the minute.

When Peeta let go of her arm and moved his hand to the inside of her upper thigh, she forgot how to breathe herself. “Can I, too?” He managed, trailing his fingers up the inseam of her pants.

“Yeah,” she choked out, stilling her hand on him. Her pulse thumped like mad as he reached for her, unbuttoning her pants. Katniss might not have planned for all of this to happen tonight, but she didn’t want to stop, either.

She leaned towards Peeta as his hand slid inside her underwear. Knowing she was ridiculously wet, she hoped he wouldn’t think it was weird; the idea made her pretty nervous. Katniss knew it was natural to get that way when aroused. The times she’d touched herself, despite knowing it was probably a sin, had taught her that.

But sliding her hand inside her underwear and exploring herself had mostly been out of curiosity.

With Peeta, it was an entirely different thing- a hot, burning need that grew in intensity the further they went.

His fingers brushed against the short curls between her thighs, and when he moved further down, dipping just inside her wet lips and dragging them forward, Katniss’s hips jerked against his hand. His touch was unbelievable, much better than any time she’d done this herself. He hadn’t found the spot yet that make her sing, but it still felt amazing.

“You like this,” Peeta whispered disbelievingly, “Katniss, you’re so-”

“Yes,” Katniss gasped as his fingers rubbed against the top of her, “it feels so good.” She wanted him to delve deeper and touch that place that always felt so good when she did it herself. Their position with her on the log and him kneeling in front of her was awkward.

And then, realizing she’d stopped moving her hand over him, Katniss tightened her grip on Peeta’s dick again. He might not be able to reach her very well this way, but she could still touch him. They’d gone this far, and now she wanted to see what happened next.

“Unf,” Peeta grunted, his hand going still inside her underwear, his body slumping forward.

Katniss watched his expression as she touched him. Peeta seemed lost entirely to what she was doing, his breathing becoming shallower, fighting to keep his eyes open. Was that because he didn’t want to look away from her?

“I’m- oh,” Peeta wrapped his free hand around the back of her head, jerking her against his chest as his length started throbbing in her hand. The faster she moved her hand, the louder he became, until his whole body stiffened up and his dick pulsed harder as hot, white liquid spurted from him, splashing against her bare arm and chest, bathing her hand in it as she continued pumping her fist up and down him. “Holy hell, goddammit,” he gasped.

Katniss turned her head, grinning against his shoulder when he seemed done after she’d taken her hand off of him. She felt suddenly shy, despite Peeta’s slack hand still lodged down the front of her underwear and his ejaculate all over her.

“I’d better,” Peeta began, pausing to kiss her firmly before as he took his hand out of her underwear and reached to the side to grab his discarded t-shirt, “take care of this. Sorry about the mess,” he added, using the material to wipe her hands and chest clean. He lingered at her breasts, rubbing the shirt across them long after she’d been wiped clean.

Katniss laughed deliriously, still a little in shock over what had just happened. She swatted his hand away, teasingly. “That’s okay- it was fun. I liked it,” She admitted.

“It was certainly fun for me. Probably could’ve lasted a little longer,” Peeta said a little sheepishly. Even if he was embarrassed, he couldn’t keep the happy smile off his face.

Katniss didn’t think he had anything to be embarrassed about- from what she’d heard about boys, what he’d done was typical for the first time someone touched him. She figured touching each other was like anything else; there had to be a pretty big learning curve. A bigger part of her liked that she’d gotten him that worked up.

Peeta leaned forward and kissed her insistently until she was breathless, reminding her again how excited she was. “Now I wanna make you feel good too,” he said when she was half-crazy from his lips. “You might need to show me how.” He got up then, pulling his underwear back up to cover himself but leaving his pants unzipped.

When He offered Katniss his hand, she took it. “What are you taking me?” she asked.

“Nowhere. Just changing things around a bit,” Peeta answered, stepping behind her and sitting on the ground with his back resting against the log. He spread his legs apart and patted the space in front of him. “I thought it might be easier this way, especially if you want to take your pants off.”

Katniss didn’t overthink pushing her jeans over her hips and down her legs at that point. After all, she was already shirtless in front of him, and for some reason letting Peeta see her breasts left her feeling more exposed than anything. She knew he wouldn’t try to take things any further than she wanted to

She lowered herself to the ground, kneeling in front of him, but Peeta, with a quick kiss, told her to turn around. Katniss did, settling upright against his chest. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he said as she shifted against him. He wasted no time mouthing against the back of her neck while his hands settled at her waist.

“You haven’t seen much then,” Katniss whispered with what was supposed to be humor but came out sounding breathy instead. Her body tingled in the night air, the slight breeze across her nipples causing her breasts to ache even more.

Like he was reading her mind, Peeta’s warm hands moved up from her waist and cupped her breasts. “I think I’ve seen all I need to see.”

“They’re just,” she bit her lip to keep from moaning too loud as he played with her, his thumbs rubbing and pinching her nipples, sending sparks between her thighs, “breasts. Half the world’s population has got them.”

“But I just want to see yours,” Peeta said, gently squeezing her with his warm hands. The pressure made her squirm, and she rubbed her thighs together. “How does it feel when I do this?”

“Good,” Katniss whispered, arching into his hands. He groaned under his breath. She could tell his dick was getting hard again, pressing against her backside, and that surprised her- she always thought boys were a one and out deal.

Not Peeta, apparently.

“How about this?” he asked while one hand glided down her stomach. His fingers were at the waistband of her underwear, edging beneath the elastic.

“Yes,” she said. The sensation was different than before. Peeta wasn’t restricted by her stiff pants this time or the awkward position she’d sat in when he’d touched her earlier.

“Help me?” he asked.

Katniss covered her hand with his and pushed them down together, leading him to the place. “Rub me there,” she said, spreading her legs wide to make it easier to get to the nerve bundle. She gripped his fingers, demonstrating what she meant. Katniss rubbed their fingers over her together in slow circles- not too soft or too rigid. Their hands together in her intimate places felt wickedly good.

“I think I’ve got it now,” Peeta whispered in her ear. His breathing was noticeably heavier, their noises mingling together in the night air, the sounds of the creek, and the insects in the woods background noise to their pants and moans.

Katniss dropped her hand away and closed her eyes. The pleasure was coiling, burning low in her stomach. Her feet scrabbled against the sandy creekside, looking for something to hold onto; when Peeta realized what she was doing, he wrapped his free arm around her waist, holding her tight against his body as she tensed all over.

“You’re so beautiful, so perfect, so everything,” Peeta murmured in her ear. “I love seeing you this way; I love doing this to you.”

His words and his fingers rubbing her perfectly now between her thighs, the feel of his hand pressing into her waist, his mouth sucking on the side of her neck, and his dick pressing firmly against her backside all converged as one to overwhelm her. The deep, tight pressure broke, and pleasure flooded her body. The feeling was much more intense than anything she’d ever experienced on her own.

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlarkbirthdaydrabbles #everlarkbirthdaygifts #fan fic #by endlessnightlock

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everlarkficexchange · 3 years

Text

A Simple Choice

Written by: @justajjfan

Beta’d by: @sunsetsrmydreams

Prompt 83: Katniss is whipped instead of Gale in Catching Fire, Peeta’s the one who’s there to take care of her after. [submitted by anonymous].

Prompt 116: Peeta braids Katniss’ hair to soothe her. [submitted by anonymous]

Rating: Mature

Warning: Mention of whipping. Use of coarse language.

A/N: This is it…the very last chapter! Thank you to @everlarkficexchange - @javistg and @xerxia31 ; the 2 anons ; @sunsetsrmydreams and to all you lovely readers! 😘

~~~

Chapter 7 + Epilogue

Taking it as a reassuring sign we’ve reached our destination, my ears prick up to the sound of engines humming and people shouting at Gale to hurry. I’m further reassured when the terrain changes from dirt and tall grasses to black steel.

This must be our ride.

Gale runs onto the steel ramp just as it begins to close and sets me down onto a cold steel seat a little further into the belly of the craft.

“Peeta!”

I look around frantically to the sound of Katniss’ voice calling out my name and see her on the opposite side trying to free herself from the restraints of her own seat as two armed soldiers on either side try to convince her to stay seated.

“Katniss!” I shout back, awkwardly pulling myself up on my good leg only to feel Gale’s heavy hand on my shoulder pushing me back down.

“Strap yourself in. We’re about to take off,” Gale informs me.

Ooompff. I don’t have time to protest as Katniss pushes Gale out of her way and launches herself at me. I grab her tightly in my arms breathing in her scent as she peppers kisses over every inch of my face.

“My stupid leg…it wouldn’t work—” I try to explain but she continues to kiss me and I can feel the wetness from her tears on my cheeks.

“I thought I lost you,” she chokes between each word.

“Shshsh, I’m here now,” I say in a hushed tone, holding her tightly in my arms, “if Gale hadn’t shown up when he did, I would have missed our ride,” I tell her. “He saved me Katniss,” I say, lifting her chin to look at me. “Gale brought me back to you.”

Katniss lets out a shaky laugh and I flick my eyes to the side to where Gale now sits buckled to his seat, his head lowered. She kisses my lips sweetly before slowly turning to Gale, “Thank you,” she says in an almost whisper but Gale hears it and lifts his head to look at her and nods, a brief smile appearing on his face.

“The star-crossed lovers reunion can wait until we get to District 13,” Haymitch announces and I hadn’t even noticed he was sitting across from me.

“Thirteen?”

“You heard me. Welcome to the revolution lovebirds. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of questions and I’ll explain everything but for now buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” We do as he says and Katniss takes the empty seat next to me holding onto my hand tightly.

As the hovercraft begins its assent, I take a moment to look around my surroundings and see most of the seats are filled with people from our district…survivors just like us.

At first estimate, I count in my head at least 200 hundred people. Amongst the small crowd, I’m surprised to see peacekeeper Darius who sits next to his look-a-like, both obviously happy to see the other and the resemblance is unquestionable. Brothers.

Haymitch begins his story by telling us about how he first joined the rebel underground after President Snow killed his family, his contact with District 13 after rebel spies discovered a plot to reap the surviving Victors for the quarter quell and how this planned attack was about freeing Panem from President Snow’s sadistic rule once and for all.

I scan my eyes further along the craft after Haymitch was done talking, hoping to find my own brothers. My breath hitches when I lock onto a small group of people unmistakably Merchant. Madge Undersee is the first person I recognise followed by a shell-shocked Delly Cartwright who has her arm wrapped protectively around her younger brother seated beside her.

But they’re not there.

“They could’ve made it out somehow,” Katniss says hopefully, noticing my gaze.

“Yeah…maybe,” I answer, kissing the top of her head softly. But deep down I know the probability is next to zero.

***

We gawk in amazement as our hovercraft lands safely in District 13. An impenetrable fortress made of concrete and steel strategically built deep underground.

Once the steel ramp of the hovercraft lowers and locks securely, a flurry of uniformed officials welcome us not as refugees but as new soldiers of District 13…a title I’m not sure I like.

We are quickly ushered towards a ‘clearance team’ waiting to check everyone, giving those who need medical attention priority. Hardly considering myself a medical priority, I’m nonetheless placed on a steel gurney and wheeled into a curtained partition of their hospital emergency room and assessed.

Katniss refuses to leave my side the whole time and holds onto my hand tightly insisting she can be checked just fine next to me, a fierce look in her eyes silently warning no one try and challenge her.

To my relief…no one does.

Temporary repairs are made on my prosthetic leg by a robotics technician and even though my gait is somewhat compromised, I’m grateful I can at least walk unaided. I’m to report to someone called Beetee tomorrow morning for further evaluation on my leg with the view of a more advanced replacement and think to myself maybe life here in Thirteen won’t be so bad.

Medically cleared, we are moved on to another team who measure us from head to toe before handing out a parcel each containing a set of clean clothes, shoes according to our size and a package labelled ‘personal hygiene’.

With parcels in hand, compartment allocation is next and my heart starts to sink knowing I’ll have to spend my nights in this place without Katniss.

“There she is!”

We both turn around to see Mrs Everdeen rushing towards us with Katniss’ sister in tow wearing the brightest of smiles. Katniss immediately locks Primrose in a loving embrace, ignoring her mother altogether.

“Gale told us you were here,” her mother says, brushing off her daughter’s cold welcome. “I was so worried Katniss. You shouldn’t have runaway like that,” she adds.

Katniss steps away and reaches her hand out for me to hold, “you gave me sleep syrup to stop me from going back for Peeta.”

“You almost scratched poor Gale’s eye out. It was the only way to calm you,” Mrs Everdeen says in her defence. Katniss doesn’t respond but I can see how much she resented being drugged. A feeling I know only too well.

“I’m glad to see you are safe Peeta,” Mrs Everdeen turns to me and says genuinely, breaking a moment of uncomfortable silence.

Katniss huffs but I smile and thank Mrs Everdeen just as an officer orders us to line up and register our details for allotted compartments.

“There’s no need for my daughter to register, she’s been assigned to the Everdeen family compartment; Katniss Everdeen; Level 32; Room 234a,” Mrs Everdeen informs the District 13 officer.

“No, I’m going to register with Peeta.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Mrs Everdeen responds. “Peeta will need to reg—”

Katniss doesn’t wait for her mother to finish her sentence and leads me to the registry desk in the middle of the processing room.

“Name…age…occupation…marital status?” the registry officer asks robotically, not bothering to look up and stares at the small screen on his device waiting to key in my answer.

“Peeta Mellark…17…baker…s—”

“Married.” Katniss answers the last question for me and squeezes my hand. I turn my head, mouth gaped open in surprise but I don’t say anything and play along with the ruse.

The officer raises his head from his device and looks at Katniss, “and you would be..?”

“Katniss Mellark…17…hunter…wife of Peeta Mellark. We’re married…to each other,” she gestures, pointing her finger between the two of us. The officer darts his eyes suspiciously from me to Katniss.

Holding in an anxious breath, I feel Katniss’ grip on my hand tighten but the officer eventually lowers his gaze and types in the information, allowing us to breathe a collective sigh of relief.

I hear a shocked gasp behind us which could only have come from Mrs Everdeen but I don’t dare turn my head to look. Primrose on the other hand, rushes over to hug me first then Katniss and whispers something in her ear causing Katniss to blush.

“That’s not true! She’s too young to be married,” Mrs Everdeen informs the officer who raises his head and huffs in frustration.

“I usually keep my noise out of people’s business but I’ll make an exception in this case,” Haymitch says, appearing out of nowhere accompanied by an older soldier and by the looks of his uniform, he’s someone of high-ranking importance.

“Sweetheart and the boy technically became of age the moment they became Victors.”

Shock covers Mrs Everdeen’s face, “but she’s only been gone for 2 days and Twelve’s traditions state—”

“There is no District 12!” Haymitch exclaims. “What matters is the here and now and if they say they toasted then it’s good enough for me, he announces. “Young love, Lily…have you’ve forgotten what that’s like?”

Mrs Everdeen swallows hard and looks across to Katniss and me as her eyes begin to glisten, “no…I haven’t forgotten.” she replies softly.

“We don’t know what the future holds for any us and these two have been through a lot. They deserve a little happiness…don’t you think?” Haymitch questions. Mrs Everdeen ponders his words before eventually nodding in agreement. “Now what do you say we leave the newlyweds to themselves while we enjoy a hot cup of tea in the dining room,” he suggests.

Mrs Everdeen agrees and before she leaves, insists Katniss accompany her to the medical clinic in the morning and another blush appears on Katniss’ face but she relents.

“Congratulations Mr and Mrs Mellark. Enjoy your honeymoon,” Haymitch says, giving us a sly wink before he and his friend, who introduces himself as General Maximus Jackson, escort Mrs Everdeen and Prim to the dining room.

The sound of someone clearing their throat startles us both, “so…you two married or what?” the frustrated officer asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Married!” Katniss replies without pause.

The officer then looks to me for confirmation, “married,” I tell him swallowing hard and hoping the blush on my own face doesn’t give anything away.

***

Stepping into our compartment, we take a look around and see it adequately furnished with a large bunk bed, a chest of draws; a small closet and an equally small bathroom but it’s nothing to complain about.

We haven’t said a word to each other since we were given our compartment passcode. But the burning question I want to ask Katniss must wait, both of us agreeing to shower before settling in.

Although brief, the warm spray of water felt good on my skin and I quickly changed into the clothes marked ‘bed clothing’ from my parcel. When I slide the bathroom door open, Katniss is sitting on the bunk bed dressed in her District Thirteen issued pyjamas, her hair slightly damp from her shower.

Katniss raises her head to see me looking at her and I’m mesmerised by the beautiful sight before me. “Will you braid my hair Peeta?” she asks softly, offering her hairbrush to me.

My breath hitches as she leans her head back and sighs in contentment when my hands whisper over her neck and sweep the dark mane to trail down her back. I begin to brush her hair, carefully working through the knots and snags caused by our harrowing race for safety. Katniss hums as I continue until the brush moves through smoothly.

I reverently run my fingers through the long locks before dividing them into sections then gently braiding them together. I’m struck by the intimacy of the moment, bringing my question bubbling to the surface.

“Why did you lie to your mother about us being married?”

Katniss straightens her back and turns around looking deep into my eyes, “I didn’t. You baked the bread and I asked you and you agreed…remember?”

With my forehead creased in deep thought it takes only a few seconds to understand what Katniss is saying and there’s no hiding the huge smile forming on my lips, “yes.”

“I know I’m not good with words but it was the same bread you gave me all those years ago and it was perfect,” Katniss says. “You’re not taking it back are you Peeta? You do want me as your wife…don’t you?”

My hands instinctively cup her cheeks, “Katniss Everdeen, a life with you has been my fantasy for as long as I can remember. I’ve dreamt of asking you to toast with me,” I start to explain. “I’ve wanted to say so many things to you, solemnly vow to honour and keep you safe for the rest of my life, then take you in my arms and show you how much I love you,” I say, feeling heat slowly creeping up my neck as the warmth rushes to my groin.

She steps away and I immediately begin to worry I’ve said too much. Katniss searches through the pocket of her father’s hunting jacket hanging over a chair and brings the napkin she grabbed earlier today and unfolds it onto the bunk.

There in front of my eyes is the untouched triangle-shaped piece of toast and I have to wonder how it wasn’t confiscated when we were being checked over.

Katniss smiles, the same blush appearing on her face, “it’s Katniss Mellark now but you can ask me to toast with you again if you want and the answer will be the same,” she tells me. “You can say all those words you’ve dreamt telling me…then when you’re done husband, you can show me how much you love me.”

…and so I do.

~~~

Epilogue

Katniss

My eyes are closed but there’s a sense of comfort and mellowness blossoming inside of me as I take in a deep breath to enjoy the familiar scent I’ve come to love.

In my relaxed state, it takes some effort to force my eyelids to open and when I do, my eyes focus on the edge of the bank as a paddle of ducks swim lazily across my father’s lake.

Gone are the electrified fences. The curfews. The peacekeepers. The fear.

This was the first place I took Peeta to see after the war had ended. So many lives were lost during our fight for freedom but for now, there is peace. So, we rebuilt our towns and our families and we vowed to honour the dead by living well.

As I take in the peaceful surroundings, the smell of freshly baked bread invades my senses and all thoughts of death and destruction is forgotten when I feel a pair of warm, muscled arms wrap around my rather large and protruding stomach.

Bringing a child into this world was something I told myself I would never experience and the idea of new life growing inside of me should seem utterly terrifying. Yet as my hand rests on top of his, waiting for our little one to let us know she’s awake, what I’m feeling right now has nothing to do with fear.

I lean back into his loving embrace and instinctively tilt my head to the side allowing him full access. The moment his lips start to trail kisses down my neck, an enticing shiver courses through my body and I hum my approval with great fervour.

“We don’t have to be afraid anymore,” he whispers softly.

“No, we don’t have to be afraid,” I whisper back, as we stop to watch his favourite colour slowly disappear below the horizon.

The End

#Springtime Edition 2020 #justajjfan #prompt 83 #prompt 116 #submission

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hamliet · 3 years

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Branching off of that last ask about ships—

What kind of shipper are you? Do you mostly get drawn to ships that are more than likely going to be canon or at least implied to be canon? Or do you ship whoever, regardless of how likely it is to be canon?

I personally only get attached to ships that are either canon, or implied to be canon when a series is over (Roy/Riza is one of my favorites ever). When I ship a ship I WANT it to happen so I can be emotionally satisfied in the end, not look for meaning in every interaction between two characters who are never ever going to be canon. To me that’s exhausting—BUT I can see why people do it because it is fun and maybe even comforting. Just not my thing.

What kind of shipper are you, or are you a mixture of the two?

I’m all over the place. I mean, I have my crack ships, I love canon ships (Eremika, Aruani, Kanej, Reylo, Yenralt, Jonerys, Everlark, Spuffy are among my favorites), but I also think canon ships can be boring (Izuocha, Kataang, Malina, Rayllum).

I think I’d describe myself as a shipper who ships based on whether I see thematic potential and character development through a relationship. Basically I look at a relationship--which occasionally doesn’t exist in the text, like Frieda/Zeke in SnK until the author himself shouted it out--and if I see a story there, I’m all in.

Tastewise, I prefer ships with conflict as well, such as Darklina or Zutara, over ships that have little to no conflict. What are stories for if not to explore the very limits and depths and heights of human emotion and capacity for love? So I like that better than the nitty-gritty reality, but that is purely my taste and expands far beyond shipping to my taste in fiction in general--it’s why I always prefer Dostoyevsky’s heightened reality realism to Tolstoy’s grounded realism.

However, conflict doesn’t mean the ship has to be volatile--conflict can also be gentle. For example, I love Katniss and Peeta together, because there is conflict there. Despite Gale being the more volatile one, Peeta was the one who challenged Katniss as a person far more, and Katniss challenged him. Izoucha does not challenge each other in BNHA, hence why I find it boring. I also find Nuts & Dolts boring in RWBY (and don’t think it’ll be canon either) because there is no challenge there; it is comforting, sure, but there’s no growth and thematic resonance to be had. My favorite ship in BSD is Akutagawa and Atsushi, because their relationship is the main story and they challenge each other, but I am neutral-positive on Atsushi/Kyouka and Higuchi/Akutagawa because they also challenge each other. These are just not really focused on and won’t be because of their ages until like a timeskip epilogue and maybe not even then (I still think it’s implicitly canon).

Which brings me to another thing: I like it when characters are on equal planes, when there is not a power dynamic. Now, you’ll look at my list of ships and be like BUT THERE ARE POWER DIFFERENCES and I get that, but the context to what I’m saying isn’t what you’d think. My personal definition is more like--not social structures as would be the case in real life, but story structures. Do they oppose each other in the story? Are they given equality in terms of how the story views their arcs? I also don’t mind when a story focuses more on one character in a ship than the other, but there’s got to be a sort of parallel development. Basically, I dislike ships where a fully, or almost fully, developed character gets with a struggling character because it’s uneven and one-way in terms of the narrative (this is why, while I don’t actually dislike it, Bangel doesn’t work as well as Spuffy for me, and also why Izuocha doesn’t really do it for me).

#ask hamliet #shipping

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hockeysweetheart · 4 years

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I was thinking about Katniss saying she never wanted to have children. I noticed most of the time she said she never wanted kids Gale was involved. Yes there are points fear yes if her and Peeta had kids with Snow in power. Her children would have a one way ticket to the games. But after the Peeta’s baby bomb she was like okay didn’t expect then then very shortly after she’s like well the damage is done thank god I had no say in this. and Then a few chapters later she was like it’s not my plan to have kids with Gale your crazy. 2 seconds later oh I dream of a world Peeta’s child is safe.

Okay Katniss who knew Gale better but Peeta longer. She is totally like me Marry Gale ahahaha your so Funny Me Have his children pfft not a freaking Chance. But when it comes to Peeta she could of denied it but she didn’t. sure she said “it’s for an act” but she knows she was fooling herself saying that because of the sheer fact that she was like well he’s not that bad... blushes... plus she never worked up any excuse for Hey Peeta we over. Because I truely beileve she had feeling for him the whole damn time. and when it came to Gale she’s like were friends. Peeta it’s like oh my god you saved my life I can’t live without you. ( without admitting shes in love with him). becuase lord knows how long that took. anyways I got off track a bit.

I’ll say this again she wanted to be with Gale because it would be the biggest slap in the face to the Capitol but she couldn’t let go of Peeta. without Fail every single time she had sparks with Gale her Feelings for Peeta were not far behind. Plus she totally burned that bridge when Gale came out as a player. but It’s Gale confusing Katniss when they kissed. Because not once before the games did he say btw I like you any sign of it that Katniss caught on. Whereas Peeta is flirting with Katniss the whole freaking time. and yes Katniss is a little slow to catch on so slow in fact it took Peeta to tell the whole world that he’s madly in love with the world before she realized that he was just a boy in love with me. ( in fact it took her longer to realize that).

Okay Katniss is a bit slow to show it. But some kisses were for I couldn’t do this without you. That beach kiss was all love sweetheart ( at that point we all knew that Peeta won Katniss’s heart.) But like Gale literally almost got whipped to death and her reaction was like was like just give him the meds to knock him out let him slip away. and for Peeta when he hit that force field it’s like oh my god I cannot live without you. Don’t ever do that again. and like later without Peeta I’ll never be truely happy again. I do I need you. I’ll be damaged beyond repare with you gone.

Below are some refences I pulled up of The whole “ not having kids or marrying to doing both” subject...

chapter 1 the hunger games

"We could do it, you know," Gale says quietly. "What?" I ask. "Leave the district. Run off. Live in the woods. You and I, we could make it," says Gale. I don't know how to respond. The idea is so preposterous. "If we didn't have so many kids," he adds quickly. They're not our kids, of course. But they might as well be. Gale's two little brothers and a sister. Prim. And you may as well throw in our mothers, too, because how would they live without us? Who would fill those mouths that are always asking for more? With both of us hunting daily, there are still nights when game has to be swapped for lard or shoelaces or wool, still nights when we go to bed with our stomachs growling. "I never want to have kids," I say. "I might. If I didn't live here," says Gale. "But you do," I say, irritated. "Forget it," he snaps back. The conversation feels all wrong. Leave? How could I leave Prim, who is the only person in the world I'm certain I love? And Gale is devoted to his family. We can't leave, so why bother talking about it? And even if we did. even if we did. where did this stuff about having kids come from? There's never been anything romantic between Gale and me. When we met, I was a skinny twelve-year-old, and although he was only two years older, he already looked like a man. It took a long time for us to even become friends, to stop haggling over every trade and begin helping each other out. Besides, if he wants kids, Gale won't have any trouble finding a wife. He's good-looking, he's strong enough to handle the work in the mines, and he can hunt. You can tell by the way the girls whisper about him when he walks by in school that they want him. It makes me jealous but not for the reason people would think. Good hunting partners are hard to find.

the hunger games chapter 3

Finally, Gale is here and maybe there is nothing romantic between us, but when he opens his arms I don't hesitate to go into them. His body is familiar to me - the way it moves, the smell of wood smoke, even the sound of his heart beating I know from quiet moments on a hunt - but this is the first time I really feel it, lean and hard-muscled against my own.

the hunger games chapter 10

I don't know what to think. "I should have been told, so I didn't look so stupid." "No, your reaction was perfect. If you'd known, it wouldn't have read as real," says Portia. "She's just worried about her boyfriend," says Peeta gruffly, tossing away a bloody piece of the urn. My cheeks burn again at the thought of Gale. "I don't have a boyfriend." "Whatever," says Peeta. "But I bet he's smart enough to know a bluff when he sees it. Besides you didn't say you loved me. So what does it matter?" The words are sinking in. My anger fading. I'm torn now between thinking I've been used and thinking I've been given an edge. Haymitch is right. I survived my interview, but what was I really? A silly girl spinning in a sparkling, dress. Giggling. The only moment of any substance I hail was when I talked about Prim. Compare that with Thresh, his silent, deadly power, and I'm forgettable. Silly and sparkly and forgettable. No, not entirely forgettable, I have my eleven in training.

the hunger games chapter 23

Four of us left.

For the first time, I allow myself to truly think about the possibility that I might make it home. To fame. To wealth. To my own house in the Victor's Village. My mother and Prim would live there with me. No more fear of hunger. A new kind of freedom. But then. what? What would my life be like on a daily basis? Most of it has been consumed with the acquisition of food. Take that away and I'm not really sure who I am, what my identity is. The idea scares me some. I think of Haymitch, with all his money. What did his life become? He lives alone, no wife or children, most of his waking hours drunk. I don't want to end up like that.

"But you won't be alone," I whisper to myself. I have my mother and Prim. Well, for the time being. And then. I don't want to think about then, when Prim has grown up, my mother passed away. I know I'll never marry, never risk bringing a child into the world. Because if there's one thing being a victor doesn't guarantee, it's your children's safety. My kids' names would go right into the reaping balls with everyone else's. And I swear I'll never let that happen.

catching fire chapter 2 ( this was what katniss was gonna say to gale after he kissed her)

That week I managed the snares and dropped off the meat with Hazelle. But I didn't see Gale until Sunday. I had this whole speech worked out, about how I didn't want a boyfriend and never planned on marrying, but I didn't end up using it. Gale acted as if the kiss had never happened.

Maybe he was waiting for me to say something. Or kiss him back. Instead I just pretended it had never happened, either. But it had. Gale had shattered some invisible barrier between us and, with it, any hope I had of resuming our old, uncomplicated friendship. Whatever I pretended, I could never look at his lips in quite the same way.

catching fire chapter 4

In my room, I remove my sodden slippers, my wet robe and pajamas. There are more in the drawers but I just crawl between the covers of my bed in my underclothes. I stare into the darkness, thinking about my conversation with Haymitch. Everything he said was true about the Capitol's expectations, my future with Peeta, even his last comment. Of course, I could do a lot worse than Peeta. That isn't really the point, though, is it? One of the few freedoms we have in District 12 is the right to marry who we want or not marry at all. And now even that has been taken away from me. I wonder if President Snow will insist we have children. If we do, they'll have to face the reaping each year. And wouldn't it be something to see the child of not one but two victors chosen for the arena? Victors' children have been in the ring before. It always causes a lot of excitement and generates talk about how the odds are not in that family's favor. But it happens too frequently to just be about odds. Gale's convinced the Capitol does it on purpose, rigs the drawings to add extra drama. Given all the trouble I've caused, I've probably guaranteed any child of mine a spot in the Games.

catching fire chapter 18

There. He's done it again. Dropped a bomb that wipes out the efforts of every tribute who came before him. Well, maybe not. Maybe this year he has only lit the fuse on a bomb that the victors themselves have been building. Hoping someone would be able to detonate it. Perhaps thinking it would be me in my bridal gown. Not knowing how much I rely on Cinna's talents, whereas Peeta needs nothing more than his wits. As the bomb explodes, it sends accusations of injustice and barbarism and cruelty flying out in every direction. Even the most Capitol-loving, Games-hungry, bloodthirsty person out there can't ignore, at least for a moment, how horrific the whole thing is. I am pregnant. The audience can't absorb the news right away. It has to strike them and sink in and be confirmed by other voices before they begin to sound like a herd of wounded animals, moaning, shrieking, calling for help. And me? I know my face is projected in a tight close-up on the screen, but I don't make any effort to hide it. Because for a moment, even I am working through what Peeta has said. Isn't it the thing I dreaded most about the wedding, about the future - the loss of my children to the Games? And it could be true now, couldn't it? If I hadn't spent my life building up layers of defenses until I recoil at even the suggestion of marriage or a family?

The moment we step off the elevator, Peeta grips my shoulders. "There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?"

"Nothing," I say. It was a big leap to take without my okay, but I'm just as glad I didn't know, didn't have time to second-guess him, to let any guilt over Gale detract from how I really feel about what Peeta did. Which is empowered.

catching fire chapter 24

Peeta won't let him, though. "It's too dangerous," he says. "I'm not tired. You lie down, Katniss." I don't object because I do need to sleep if I'm to be of any use keeping him alive. I let him lead me over to where the others are. He puts the chain with the locket around my neck, then rests his hand over the spot where our baby would be. "You're going to make a great mother, you know," he says. He kisses me one last time and goes back to Finnick. His reference to the baby signals that our time-out from the Games is over. That he knows the audience will be wondering why he hasn't used the most persuasive argument in his arsenal. That sponsors must be manipulated. But as I stretch out on the sand I wonder, could it be more? Like a reminder to me that I could still one day have kids with Gale? Well, if that was it, it was a mistake. Because for one thing, that's never been part of my plan. And for another, if only one of us can be a parent, anyone can see it should be Peeta. As I drift off, I try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no Games, no Capitol. A place like the meadow in the song I sang to Rue as she died. Where Peeta's child could be safe.

mockingjay chapter 3

I skim my list. "Gale. I'll need him with me to do this." "With you how? Off camera? By your side at all times? Do you want him presented as your new lover?" Coin asks. She hasn't said this with any particular malice - quite the contrary, her words are very matter-of-fact. But my mouth still drops open in shock. "What?" "I think we should continue the current romance. A quick defection from Peeta could cause the audience to lose sympathy for her," says Plutarch. "Especially since they think she's pregnant with his child." "Agreed. So, on-screen, Gale can simply be portrayed as a fellow rebel. Is that all right?" says Coin. I just stare at her. She repeats herself impatiently. "For Gale. Will that be sufficient?" "We can always work him in as your cousin," says Fulvia.

"We're not cousins," Gale and I say together.

"Right, but we should probably keep that up for appearances' sake on camera," says Plutarch. "Off camera, he's all yours. Anything else?"

I'm rattled by the turn in the conversation. The implications that I could so readily dispose of Peeta, that I'm in love with Gale, that the whole thing has been an act. My cheeks begin to burn. The very notion that I'm devoting any thought to who I want presented as my lover, given our current circumstances, is demeaning. I let my anger propel me into my greatest demand. "When the war is over, if we've won, Peeta will be pardoned."

Dead silence. I feel Gale's body tense. I guess I should have told him before, but I wasn't sure how he'd respond. Not when it involved Peeta.

mockingjay

They play in the Meadow. The dancing girl with the dark hair and blue eyes. The boy with blond curls and gray eyes, struggling to keep up with her on his chubby toddler legs. It took five, ten, fifteen years for me to agree. But Peeta wanted them so badly. When I first felt her stirring inside of me, I was consumed with a terror that felt as old as life itself. Only the joy of holding her in my arms could tame it. Carrying him was a little easier, but not much.

The questions are just beginning. The arenas have been completely destroyed, the memorials built, there are no more Hunger Games. But they teach about them at school, and the girl knows we played a role in them. The boy will know in a few years. How can I tell them about that world without frightening them to death? My children, who take the words of the song for granted:

My children, who don't know they play on a graveyard. Peeta says it will be okay. We have each other. And the book. We can make them understand in a way that will make them braver. But one day I'll have to explain about my nightmares. Why they came. Why they won't ever really go away. I'll tell them how I survive it. I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away. That's when I make a list in my head of every act of goodness I've seen someone do. It's like a game. Repetitive. Even a little tedious after more than twenty years. But there are much worse games to play.

#thg #Katniss #katniss everdeen #Peeta #Peeta Mellark #gale hawthorne #gale #Hunger Games #The Hunger Games #CatchingFire #catching fire #mockingjay #katniss and peeta #everlark

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