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#anyway I still love this lil scene - cas' face makes me cry
chrrispine · 3 years
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You’re gonna wear that, on a date?
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do-you-have-a-flag · 3 years
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Destiel shippers come get ya’ll juice!
SO @deadwright​ and I were inspired by Some Tumblr Posts and the twitter Roadhouse  Wedding stuff and keep writing headcanons about Thee Destiel 2021 Married Ever After S16 SPN Romantic Event Of The Season, so here’s that. 
Arranged in order of marital chronology and cutting out us keysmashing too much:
oh man imagine all the burgers they get catered for the reception dean got it done himself he would’ve been so particular about the catering bridezilla cas would probably be THEE bitchiest bridezilla
it's also definitely that trope where all the other hunters ect KNOW that that many of them and the wedding party are essentially a target for trouble so everyone spends the 24 hours leading up to the vows taking out every beastie who shows up on a revenge kick out of sight because they'll be damned if they let ANYTHING stop this wedding and Dean and cas are both having their marital jitters oh god im not good enough what if something goes wrong about mundane things while monsters are getting their ass kicked outside AWWWWWWWW for sure for sure, they’re hunter royalty this wedding is a big deal like half the attendees are nursing injuries but grinning widely
they don't do the can't see eachother before the wedding thing because you KNOW dean would be fixing cas' tie last minute
dean wears a blue pocket square to match cas' tie cas wears a FLANNEL SQUARE
I’m obsessed w the idea of cas giving dean a little bit of his grace in a small bottle on a chain for him to wear or like a wing feather or some part of him god the grace in a bottle breaks me every time in fic dean probably builds cas something but every time i try to think of something specific i choke up
i was thinking like what if trading grace is as close to a romantic gesture as angels have and he's like..... technically i left some grace behind in your mark when i dragged you from the pit and dean is like ARE YOU SAYING WE'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME? 
they are so sweet i’m on the verge of tears the ability to do anything by halves in their relationship was burnt out by like the second return from the dead moment they are too insane to be anything less than All In And Then Some
at one point someone was like hey cas do you want to run your vows by someone as practice? and he started reading what he'd prepared and it devolved into Biblically Grand Statements Of The Power Of Love And The Redemption Of - ect ect ect and it's because unlike the confession scene he's had TOO much preparation and overshot into uncanny angelic vibes he makes some edits because he know the expressions he gets when he reads it aren't what he intended
dean writes page after page after page of unused drafts, none of them are particularly floral
he does the cliche of ripping up his vows and improvising at the altar, something he gets mercilessly teased for because he swore he wouldn't but it classifies as a chick flick moment
THAT’S SO PEAK HIM OH MY GOD and you knoooooow you just KNOW it’s beautiful and emotional and everyone is crying
god the NOVELTY of dean being emotionally honest in front of people......im gonna faint YEA yeah... ONE TIME ONLY DEAL he thinks loudly at Sam's smug expression
anyway, at the wedding dean is the one who spends the whole ceremony with like crying cat meme eyes after the confession scene i’m pretty sure the minute the vows start cas is in the same boat USELESS HUSBANDS dean gets passed a handkerchief for his tears and immediately goes to use it on cas' face and they both laugh sob love the idea that everyone individually thought they were too tough to cry but they all broke at various stages yeah sam definitely starts to choke up just standing up there with his brother sam chokes up before the ceremony even started, like probably when he was pinning on dean’s corsage
anyway, Jack dancing with his two dads at the reception CAS’ BEST MAN / FLOWER BOY FLOWER MAN let him heelie down the aisle with the flowers LITTLE MAN GO NYOOM who makes him a little flower crown he wears with a proud lil smile? claire ofc, with those hair braiding skills? she makes it BEAUTIFUL flower crown: on nails: painted dads: MARRIED!!!!
when they say i do and kiss and everyone is cheering you can't convince me that someone doesn't let off what is either a gun or a dubiously legal firework in celebration jack pops a few lightbulbs in his uncontrollable joy
Dean and Cas can't let go of each other, it's at LEAST one point of physical contact for the rest of the reception PERIODT
CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM DANCING TO AIR SUPPLY
they definitely didn't do the wedding gifts thing but a few mysteriously show up anyway; discuss waffle iron from sam bc he remembers the becky incident meanwhile claire gets them flavoured lube because she’s an insane little mean girl she gets them a sampler package with like novelty flavours, gotta spring extra for a wedding PIE FLAVOURED LUBE
it’s gonna be the party of the century omfg you KNOW it! that dancefloor going OFF the BAR is FLOWING
dean gets dragged up onto the bar to make a speech and there's a moment at the end where he drags cas up there too and they're being playfully yelled at not to scuff it and there's hooting and catcalls as dean and cas kiss and dean gestures rudely before almost falling backwards off the bar before cas grabs him and climbing down is less romantic or dignified but he couldn't care if he wanted to
meanwhile sam and claire are outside defacing the impala with silly string and lewd graffiti and tin cans tied to the bumper for the going-away oh it is one hundo percent a just married atrocity there's enough condoms hidden in the car that they're still finding them months later
anyway wanna hear my disgustingly soppy honeymoon roadtrip concept? YOU KNOW I DO OKAY SO
you know at some point dean must have said some sad thing like for the longest time he never thought he'd live long enough to get married and the only circumstances he could imagine was hooking up drunkenly with a stranger at some vegas wedding scenario like that's the best he would ever get and he thinks it's mostly forgotten but then during their cross country honeymoon roadtrip castiel does in fact navigate them to las vegas and quietly mutters that the legal veracity of the little chapel on the city limits is dubious at best and they're already married so it couldn't do any harm and they get officiated by an elvis impersonator and a woman wearing more sequins than fabric throws cheap confetti over them
and after that they stop into every venue they can find that would be friendly to them to pretend they're eloping and at one point dean even pulls out the fbi id badges and the officiant is under the impression he's facilitating some sort of covert workplace romance 
one place is a kitchy little house that's clearly just the couple who run it opening their strange home to anyone who needs it and have been since the 70s and Castiel thinks for a moment when they're asked to pin something to the collection of stuff on the walls and ceiling before pulling the receipt for the pie they'd shared earlier in a dinner out and scrawling his and dean's name on it to be added to the clutter 
and at one point they stand ankle deep in a pond while some old hippie lady wraps their clasped hands together with soft fabric and chants something that dean knows isn't real magic but hey he's not going to tell her that and after the ceremony they sit on the grass and feed each other sweet bread to complete the binding or whatever and it's nice but it doesn't compare to the ranch where they both tossed their cowboy hats in the air and were given a horse to ride to their camp site
i thought about riverboat gambling for point one seconds and now i know in my bones that one of their many weddings was on a riverboat, they made the captain officiate after cornering him on deck in like five minutes, the crew sent them complimentary champagne and they threw fries at the birds following the boat while sharing it straight out of the bottle
if destiel can go canon multiple times they can get married multiple times CHANGE MY MIND THEY GET MARRIED SO MUCH the MOST married i just want them to get gay cowboy married
eventually i want them to end up at the beach bc dean has canonically never been to the coast their road trip is to get to the other coast
they send just married postcards back to sam from every stop sam stops feeling hurt he was left out of their vegas elopement wedding by the third wedding postcard he recieves sam saves them ofc bc GOD can you imagine them looking at the postcards on their 30th anniversary or s/t 🥺 showing their grandkids and recounting the story of each wedding there's a seashell taped to the last one
cas gets a terrible sunglasses tan and dean gets burnt on the tips of his ears and there's sand on sand on sand in all their clothes and at one point dean is blinking away salt water and cas is gripping his arm and saying something about the coral by them in the water and dean thinks that he likes floating beside cas a lot better than flying
dean has cas pick ice cream for them from a truck and hustles at carnival games enough to win them both big novelty foam hats and they both go back to their room and pass out immediately post shower sprawled across the bed and still smelling like sunscreen and salt water
dean tucks a little cocktail umbrella behind cas’ ear
cas spends most of the next day in dean's zepplin shirt and a pair of shorts they only picked up once they got there because neither of them thought to bring beach clothes, they sit on the balcony and dean sips his beer and idly plays with the ring on cas' finger and they play a game of what fictional monsters could they beat in a fight
cas’ true form is the size of the chrysler building he can fight king kong easy that's what he says and dean's like okay but what about mothra and castiel is like how would YOU defeat mothra and dean just goes "bugspray." GDJSGSHSGSHDSJ DEAN WOULD
in honour of misha putting his whole pussy into the role, cas wears a dress in at least one of their weddings
it's at one of those theme parks that's just historical re-enactments and people get their vows renewed there and there's costumes for the photobooth and the staff are like how long have you been married? castiel says two weeks, three days, eighteen hours, and twenty five minutes................ approximately.  and the photo is cas in a classical wedding gown and dean is wearing the veil with his old timey suit and there's a moose head on the wall behind them wearing the top hat he was given and they send that print with an arrow pointing at the moose with sam written next to it
i keep thinking bitch!!!! you KNOW WHAT!! you KNOW that dean is the type a guy who's heart races every time he feels his wedding ring/is always fiddling with it in the weeks after the wedding, like an anchor to remind him they really got married this is real he would NEED that physical reminder that he can have good things
he’s never ever going to take it off, the tan line will be permanent
how funny it would be if dean gets injured on a hunt and the monster guy is about to kill him and then the lights blow out and the monsters are like what was that and dean is just like "[spits blood] that's my husband." and nek minnit cas has just ripped through them thanks to teleporting in angel style and is just like Cas: [heals dean] "you're late for movie night" Dean: "Well if you'd gotten here earlier i would have been on time." Cas: >:| [kisses him]
cas is like i didn’t burn the popcorn this time you BETTER be alive to see it
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thewnchstrs · 3 years
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Could you do #12 and #70 with lil sister winchester with sam and dean? I love your sister winchester stories and the series by the way!!
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Pairing: Winchester!Sister
Disclaimers: mentions of death, crying, overall sadness, fluff
Word Count: 904
A/N: this takes place in the season 11 finale before Dean has to kill Amara
#12: please don’t do this
#70: I’m not ready to say goodbye
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I’m not ready to say goodbye, not yet, anyway. However, now that I thought about it as we stood in the middle of the cemetery in Greenville, Illinois, I realized I probably never would be.
They said the only way this could end – for her­ to end – was a bomb. Not a state-of-the-art war bomb like the ones they showed in the movies. No, this was different. A soul bomb, it was they called it.
Rowena said she could do it, but there was a catch. There’s always a damn catch I couldn’t help but to think to myself. She said it had to be Dean, that he had to be the one to get close enough to Amara to obliterate her to holy hell before she could take the rest of the world down with her. Of course, Dean agreed, not seeing much of any other options. We were out of time.
I watched from a distance where Sam and Dean were standing in front of Mary’s headstone, their backs to us. Cas, Chuck, Rowena and Crowley watched on, too. I turned away from the scene, leaning my back against the passenger side of the Impala, wrapping my arms over my chest, holding them close to my body.
The Mark of Cain, the thing that led up to all of this mess, was supposed to have been my burden. I was going to be the one to bear the mark, but Dean had beaten me to the punchline. I should be the one saying my goodbyes. I should be the one preparing myself to die, not Dean.
The sound of heavy footfalls coming toward the car made me turn around. Dean stopped in front of Chuck who was being held up by Rowena, even the weight of his own body was too much for him to hold up on his own now. 
“You cool with this?” Dean asked.
“No,” Chuck said honestly. “Even after everything she’s done, Amara’s still my sister. She’s my family and I can’t- I don’t want to see her dead, but…I understand.” Dean nodded, pain in his eyes.
“Dean,” Cas said from behind him, making Dean turn. Cas instantly pulled him in for a hug.
“Okay, alright, alright,” Dean said, patting his back as he gently pulled away, a sad smile on his face.
“I could go with you,” Cas offered, searching every inch of Dean’s face as if he were trying to memorize it.
“No, no, I gotta do this alone,” he said, immediately shaking his head before lowering his voice, but even from where I stood, I could still hear him. “Listen, if – when – this works, Sam and Y/N…they’re gonna be a mess, so look out for them, okay? Make sure they don’t do anything stupid.”
Cas nodded and Dean gathered himself before turning to the group, clapping his hands together, “Okay, look, I want a big funeral. I’m talking epic. Open bar, choir, Sabbath cover band, and Gary Busey reading the eulogy.” He nodded at the idea, his façade beginning to fall slightly as he looked around. “And for my ashes…I like it here. Yeah...you know as far as eternal resting places go.”
There was a beat of silence before he stepped toward Sam, the two of them obviously trying to be stronger for the other, “Come on, you know the drill. No chick flick moments. Come on.”
Tears were brimming in Sam’s eyes as he shook his head, “Yeah, you love chick flicks.”
“You’re right, I do, c’mere,” he said, before pulling Sam into him, their arms wrapped tightly around each other. When they pulled away, Sam sniffled, slapping Dean’s shoulder. When he turned around his eyes caught mine. I squeezed my upper arm, willing the tears not to spill over.
He clenched his jaw as he came toward me before stopping, “You’ll watch over her, won’t you?”
I cinched my eyebrows in confusion, “What?”
Dean smiled softly, looking down at Baby before pulling the keys from his pocket, looking at them in his open hand, “You remember what I taught you about taking care of her, right?”
I forced away the instant memories that flooded my brain: the hours upon hours we’d spend in the garage together, working under Baby’s hood. I clenched my jaw again, feeling the white hot pain in my throat, not daring to even look at him because I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to hold myself together for much longer.
I knew this was it. His final deed on Earth before actually saving it. I nodded, taking the keys in my hand, “Yeah, I remember.”
“Good,” he said before suddenly pulling me into his chest, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I gripped the back of his jacket, burying my face in its material. The smell of gunpowder, aftershave and his cologne filling my nose for what I feared would be the last time.
When he pulled away, I looked up at him in one last desperate attempt to save him from what he was about to do, “Please…please don’t do this.”
He clenched his jaw, lightly patting my cheek. I knew what that meant: this had to be done
“Okay,” Dean said, turning back toward Chuck. “Let’s do this.”
With a snap of Chuck’s fingers, Dean vanished. I instantly felt a hole open up in my chest at his absence. I gripped the keys tightly in my pocket, letting my eyes gently close, finally letting a tear fall down my face.
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inept-writer · 3 years
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destiel thing idk
ait here's another one folks
it's kind of a MESS but im just copying these from my own planning notes so like there's an explanation i guess?
basically this is just the nico getting outed scene reimagined as destiel with some extra shenanigans
dean is repressed and has a lotta internalised homophobia or biphobia whatever
cas is just trying his best
dean learns somehow cas is in love with him
maybe he confesses maybe 
omg
they meet a random cupid who's like wow ya'll are meant for each other
and cas is kinda like yep
background is john was trying his best but he was also low key high key homophobic yay
and dean just kept on repressing the gay
and then caz shows up with his fucking adorableness and tousled hair and fucking his whole person
and Dean's like fuck
so you'd think when he learns cas feels the same he'd be happy but
yeah john left some baggage
so he rejects cas and treats him like crap basically but what's new
and cas is just there wondering what the hell he did wrong
Sam is just done with everyone's bullshit
everyone being dean
then I want a scene like late at night
dean is up researching some stuff idk
and cas shows up with coffee
cuz he's just a fucking sweetie like that
then they avoid their feelings a bit
until cas holds dean's hand
and dean freaks out
and kisses cas
square on the lips man
cas is like yay
but then he's like any cuz dean runs away and is like let's never speak of this ever again 
n cas is hella sad and confused
and Sam is hella pissed
n dean GETS pissed
aka he gets drunk after sam comes in and yells at him
drunk dean is emotional
drunk dean goes to cas' room and is like can I have cuddles
and who is cas to say no to that?
ok no dean is basically like hey
I'm sad now
and it's your fault
these gay feels aren't natural
im not supposed to be like this
and cas is like wow yay thanks
then dean hugs cas
and tells him he loves him
so much
but also that he hates himself for loving cas
cuz homophobia strikes again y'all
cas is like wow much emotion how to deal
and dean just wants to cuddle at this point
cuz like when he's normal drunk he's kinda pissed
but when he's super drunk he gets sad and wants cuddles I just decided that thanks
so they cadoodle
n when they wake up dean freaks out
cuz he's in cas' bed yikes
and cas is like actually sleeping 
looking all soft and adorable
and dean is just sad
and he cuddles cas some more cuz he want comfort
and he pretends to sleep when cas wakes up and gets out of bed
o also cas cradles dean's face tenderly I just needed y'all to know that
but anyway
cas is like hey you wanna talk
and dean is like that was a mistake I'm sorry but gay is nasty and fuck u
basically
so cas is like wow thanks I love that for me
then they are in some random bar or food joint
and a guy flirts with cas
like
heavily
and dean gets pissed
cas is like I mean im demi so I wouldn't wanna tap that
but yeah dean gets mad at the guy and is like gay is gross stop it
which like
he's not usually the person who says that
like he just acts weird and emotionally stunted with gay stuff
but this time he's a lil drunk and a lot sad
cuz this random guy has the "courage" or whatever to flirt with cas
and dean is scared shirtless by just the thought
so he threatens the guy and sam drags him outta there
leaving poor confused cas behind
now sam has fucking had enough of dean's bs
and he wrecks his ass
telling him how dumb this is
and how gay is fucking great and amazing and fuck john winchester for still making him think otherwise
and dean just kinda cries
cuz I need that
they ride back to the bunker
and there cas is like um we got a talk
he's like dean look I get it if you don't wanna be with me but pls be clear about that then instead of pushing me away one second and kissing me the next wtf man
also you had no right to get mad at that man 
that makes dean annoyed af
and he's like o yeah did you want him?
and cas is like omg you dumb bitch I have and will always only want you ya fucking dumbturd assbutt
did I mention I love cas cuz yeah
and dean just kinda deflated
and cas holds his hand again
and cradles his face
and they're adorable
and cas is like I love you
and dean is like
fuck
I
i-i
and then he starts crying
being like but this is wrong it has to be wrong
even when it feels like the most right thing in the world
and cas is sad
he is just like but why
and dean is like well because
it's not supposed to be like that
it's unnatural
and cas is like
umm
that is incorrect
because according to the encyclopedia of sgshdjhsbsnsj
no ok cas is sad
and he's like 
maybe I should go then
like leave
and dean is like
umm
ok
ti be continued but I'm thinking cas leaves and sam gets mad and dean finally gets that he loves cas finds him and tells him also they kiss
and dean is still trying to get used to the gay
but he's in love with cas and won't deny it anymore basically
also fuck John 
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castiel-kline · 3 years
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can we talk about the scene where jack meets his grandparents??? please?? it breaks my heart everytime and your kline family gifset didn't help. please ramble, kitkat!!
First of all anon I think you must be psychic because watching that scene is what gave me the idea to make that post and I saved the gifs under “kline family gifset” while I was editing them. Just wild to me that you phrased it exactly the same 😂
But I would absolutely LOVE to talk about this, yes. 
Under a cut because if you specifically ask for rambles, you’re gonna get some rambling 💕
Let’s start by talking about why he went in the first place. He had to sneak out of the Bunker to do so, which he knew full well was dangerous and going to get him in trouble. When he comes back (and gets in trouble) he tells Cas that “it wasn’t a risk” which, hmm. But then he goes on to say, “I heard what you were saying, Cas, about finding out where I came from. I never knew my mother. I thought the next best thing might be for me to meet the only real family that I have left.” Presumably he’s referring to earlier in the episode when Cas told him that “the past, where you came from, that’s important. But it’s not as important as the future and where you’re going.” 
And to be honest I feel like Jack did take a pretty good message out of that. It’s just so sad to me that at this point he still thinks family is defined by blood (big ouch for Cas there too), and I think maybe that’s because even though he was born thinking Cas was his father, everybody (the boys, angels, demons, etc) told him no. Everyone was telling him that Lucifer is his father, Lucifer is his dad because Lucifer is in his DNA, and that’s just how it is. So despite his connection with Cas being stronger than Lucifer’s influence even before Jack was born, he was forcibly taught that none of that mattered by everyone’s constant worrying that he’d turn out to be evil (which… I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure evil isn’t genetic. So the whole thing is a little wild anyway). 
Now, I’m convinced that Jack has always fully loved and trusted Cas, but I think the nature v. nurture mindset -of, you know, everyone- complicated things a bit at the start. Fortunately, though, nobody could take away or undermine his connection with Kelly in a similar way because they ARE biologically related, so a lot of the time in season 13 I feel like Jack was basing his actions on whether or not Kelly would approve. If I’m remembering correctly, the whole reason he gave Lucifer a chance in the first place (besides his natural curiosity) was because Kelly told him in the video she left for him that no one would blame him if he went looking for Lucifer one day. He’s CONSTANTLY thinking about Kelly. He loves her so much.
So here we are in the beginning of season 14, and Jack has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing. He feels useless, and because of that he’s doubting what his place is (unfortunately this is a very Castiel thing to do). So, as usual, he looks to his mother for guidance. But since he can’t ask her directly, and Cas was the only other person who actually knew Kelly (I feel like Jack’s the type of kid to avoid “bothering” dad when he’s busy), Jack somehow found his grandparents. Logical conclusion, not even gonna lie.
I really wonder how he even did that. How did he find out about them? Did Cas know they were still around? Where do they live? How did Jack get there, since he couldn’t drive yet and he couldn’t fly at the time? I guess those things aren’t that important in the long run. But he gets there, and UGH does this scene break me inside.
The simple fact that he sought them out hurts me and melts my heart simultaneously, but just… 
The look on his face when he opens the door is too much for me. It’s like this mix of refined fear (probably of rejection) and this open wonder because this woman is his grandmother. And he knows he can’t tell her that. And then when he introduces himself and Jack Sr. comes over like “My name is Jack too!” all excited, and Jack’s expression switches from something sad to more of that wonder and he just goes “I know.” AHHHH. I think he’s probably very proud to have something that connects him to Kelly and Kelly’s direct family even further.
The entire scene definitely gave off visiting the grandparents vibes, though. Jack Sr. is just a kindly old man, and I’m pretty sure Grandma Kline (wiki says her name is Helen?) actually handed him a glass of lemonade. And this lil exchange KILLS me:
“How did you know our Kelly? Through work?”
“She… basically gave me my start.” BABY. I’M EMOTIONAL.
And then he goes for the photo album and he’s so damn happy to see pictures of Kelly. The only ones he has is the video and the picture on his nightstand, right? Whatever Cas can tell him about her (admittedly not much, because they were the sweetest of friends but they didn’t know each other that long) really isn’t going to compare to actually seeing the things that make her real.
AND THEN the real punch of the scene comes when Mrs. Kline asks him about Kelly’s pregnancy. You can tell he wants to tell them SO BAD, but he doesn’t. He just says “she had the baby,” with the purest smile on his face. And he tells them it’s a boy, and they get so excited about having a grandson and Jack’s just sitting there, unable to tell them that HE is their grandson. And it breaks my heart.
“In the time I spent with her, she was an amazing mother. Her son loves her very much.” 
Cue ugly sobbing, yeah? And he just… keeps going. He talks about what he remembers about her before he was born, and he’s smiling but his expression changes to looking like he’s about to cry when he says “she made him feel safe and wanted.” And that is just too much for me because I’m sure he feels safe with Cas, and obviously he’s wanted and loved there. But Cas isn’t Kelly and can never fill that space. And Jack has spent so much of his life feeling like he’s an unwanted burden, and he hasn't had a lot of real bonding time with Cas yet. And sure, his relationship with Sam was good at this point, but sadly I think Jack never really feels like he’s fully accepted there because he doubts his place. He doesn’t with Cas, and he’s going to get opportunities to build on that. He doesn’t have to doubt it with Kelly either, but the memory of that feeling is literally all he has. And all the times he worried he wasn’t enough before this point, I’m sure he was holding on to that memory with everything that he had.
AND THEN Mrs. Kline says that Jack looks like Kelly… and this child gets so emotional. I feel like he’s honored. But he pulls himself together and says “I don’t know, but I hope someday to have a little of her courage and purpose.” And that hits HARD for many reasons, but knowing that Jack is constantly struggling to feel useful? I’m sobbing and screaming now.
He gets up to leave looking like he’s about to break down crying, and he’s just going “I didn’t mean to intrude” (because this is a boy with manners!!!) but it’s his little “I just had to meet you” that gets me. And then he gets to shake his grandpa’s hand and hug his grandma and say he misses Kelly too. It’s SUCH a fantastic scene.
And I think it really did help him a lot, too. He confirms that it did when Cas directly asks him about in the midst of his scolding about sneaking out. And then Cas confirms that Jack looks like Kelly, which melts my poor heart even further. What Jack says to Cas there, about how he wanted to tell them that he was their grandson… it hurts. It all hurts, actually, but it’s kind of a good hurt because spn actually managed to treat Kelly and Jack’s relationship with the respect and gravitas that it deserves. And the scene with his grandparents and his scenes with Cas, both the one building up to it and the one after, are the highlights of this episode in my opinion. 
I was not expecting this to become a scene breakdown, but I hope you enjoyed my ramblings! I am always happy to cry over Jack and Kelly in an overly verbose way.
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almaasi · 5 years
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reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x12 “Prophet and Loss”
me: (◕︿◕✿)
i’m too soft™ for this
03:26pm
i am NOT READY in any way, shape or form
but i have a standard-quality video file and a 720p one is downloading slowly
i saw the promo video thing, dean’s phone battery died and i swear my heart died with it
i’m with cas on the “no suicide please” train
on the one hand, this is a deadly duo episode and i don’t trust them. BUT, they have been less awful recently. so. i’m like. expecting some gay. but that gay is ultimately gonna feel like queerbaiting, right?? LET’S HOPE NOT
fingers crossed for real gay, just in case i jinx it by doubting it
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03:29
HERE GOES
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03:31
the box underwater
THIS BETTER BE A DREAM
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03:32
THE TERROR ON DEAN’S FACE IS MAKING MY HEART POUND I DON’T LIKE THIS ONE LITTLE BIT
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03:33
the blood on the walls from his fingers
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez
;~;
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03:34
so far enjoying the directing here
dean’s got a red light saying nope, not changing his mind
sam’s behind him every step of the way
now sam’s trying to build a bridge between them (art on the wall)
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03:38
just............ sitting here............. recoiling constantly from the screen while this dude does whatever he’s doing to his girl
deeply uncomfortable
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03:41
so dean hasn’t even told cas and jack
oh man
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03:42
OH MAN SAM ALREADY TOLD CAS
OH MAN
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03:42
the fact dean shoulders open the bathroom door without touching it and dries his hands on his jeans is a) so beautiful, and b) so relatable
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03:45
the guy with the knife again
i winced away from the screen so hard i pulled a muscle in my neck
goddamn i forget how wearing earbud headphones means i can’t just close my ears or move away from the distressing noise
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03:39
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sam: “if we could not have conversations that sound like deathbed apologies, i would really appreciate..”
i fricking cannot with my emotions right now
also john winchester is an asshole
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03:56
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THE SMILE
;A;
“it’s so good to hear from you!!!!”
;A; ;A; ;A;
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03:58
dean: “so thank you, and, um........................ it’s good to hear your voice”
;~;
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04:01
why do people say “you don’t have to do this” when tied up and in danger
i find that a strange thing to say? idk
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04:50
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more red lights
a lot of red lights in this
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04:07
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another one
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04:14pm
switching to 720p because the download’s finally done
also do women actually wear those kinds of frilly night gowns??? or is that just what people imagine “lady life partner who died violently in the night to further the manpain” to wear
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04:17
sarah: “you wanted him... you still do.... you didn’t come here to find peace, you came here to the place where you became one with him”
sounds gay and evil
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04:19
sarah: “you can’t.... because you are him”
i mean that makes sense, if an angel is in a host for a long time and does the same acts over and over and feels certain emotions, the host’s brain pathways would form that way, to continue doing and feeling those things
but also i guess nick said yes in the first place, and continued to allow lucifer to use him, because he was that way inclined to begin with
......you know, by the same logic, jimmy probably had feelings for dean tbh
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04:22
i kept expecting sarah to explode in a justified ghostly rage and set the walls on fire
but here we are..........
not with a bang but with a whimper
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04:23
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kjasdufshfsdhfhFDSKJGJDSJGSJDKGJKDJGJDJGJKGJKGDFJKKJG
this screenshot of cas is a screenshot of me reacting to this screenshot
(also the noise dean’s brain is making)
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04:25
“doctor”
this screenshot doesn’t show the subtlety of all his movements  BUT HE’S FUCKING trying not to look THRILLED LOOK AT THAT ALMOST-SMILE OMG.
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just a hair’s breadth from flustering and looking down the way he did with dr. sexy maybe??? tbh he also looks sad, he would be a lot happier if he weren’t about to lock himself in a box for eternity
the lil gulp as well ?
definitely lowkey flustered, i’m calling it
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04:29
yup, cut to sam and the real doctor WHILE DEAN AND CAS HAVE A SILENT CONVERSATION OFF SCREEN yes/yes?
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04:32
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“oh, no. no, please don’t compare this with your suicidal plan. just stop.”
he SO MAD
i love cas more than words can say
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04:34
cas: “so then.......... this is goodbye?
THE LOOK IN THEIR EYES
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MY HEART IS BREAKING OH NO
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04:35
And then SAM INTERRUPTS
ARE YOU KIDIDNG ME
ARE YOU FSDUFVJSDGVJ ING KIDDING ME
well at least that means there’s still something to be said between them, still eternally unsaid
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04:37
cas: “dean, if there’s a spark, a hope, then i have to try”
aaaaaaand there’s the parallel again, if cas can save donatello then he can save dean
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04:38
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YELLOW LIGHT GREEN ROOM
WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE
and of course cas was the one who, by appearing, changed everything
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04:43
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this is so stinking cute i love seeing them together doing ANYTHING AT ALL i love them both so much
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04:44
also they talk v close and it feels v intimate
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i can feel their body heat from here
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THEY GOT CLOSER
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04:45
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I HAVE MISSED SEEING THEM TOGETHER AND NOT ANGRY OR ACTIVELY DYING
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CAS’ LIL SMILE
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04:47
dean: “cas’ll catch you up”
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BUT IS DEAN GONNA LEAVE FOREVER AND LEAVE CAS OH NO
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04:50
sam: “donatello never quit fighting, so we could help him, because he never gave up”
OH MAN THAT GOT ME RIGHT IN THE DEPRESSION FEELS
I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE JARED THOSE LINES
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04:51
sam: “i believe in us” *punch*
okay but i laughed and i probably shouldn’t laugh
but i did laugh
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04:52
dean: “okay sam. let’s go home”
ok time to cry
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04:52
dean: “but i do believe in us”
(cas walks up)
“i believe in all of us”
P E R F  E C T
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04:54
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the end screen is white from the impala lights and i’m crying this was beautiful and perfect and HOW THE FUCK DID THE DEADLY DUO PULL THIS OFF
thAT PARALLEL BETWEEN DONATELLO AND DEAN THOUGH
THAT WAS LIKE...... ACTUAL WRITING
this was great??????/ and i’m emotional??????/ more emotional that i have been for ...um, pretty much every episode for like... 2 or 3 seasons, maybe
this was a 10/10 easily
jeeeez the suicide thing and sam talking dean out of it
look
y’all know how much i love dean and cas, and seeing them in the same place at the same time
but sam’s moment at the end was the best part of this whole thing
.........but. also.
i feel like dean and cas had a scene cut. as always. there was something missing there that i feel we were promised and didn’t get. please god let us get an actual conversation between them??? about their feelings for each other????????? it kind of sickens me that we haven’t had that yet. and it’s clearly almost happening, again and again and again and it’s definitely a romance trope, interrupted before they confess their feelings
a high point: dean and sam saved the asian kid from being killed by fire, that was both good and cool and i was very relieved
i’m a bit frustrated that nick is still ... happening
but at the same time, i find nick like 350% more interesting and enjoyable to watch than lucifer
there was a lot going on in this episode, as there always is in the buckleming episodes, but i watched in stops and starts because of cats and food and the wind slamming my door and my sister texting me, so if there were pacing issues i didn’t notice. it seemed pretty smooth to me idk
but i did really enjoy this, besides the gruesome murders and latino murdery guy (who was the best friend of the older twin brother (dean parallel), technically making the murdery guy a cas parallel?) killing people in horrible ways and then killing himself :/
also dean saying the guy was a psycho and then punching him out felt a liiittle bit like “people with mental health issues are evil and dangerous” and that felt uncomfortable EVEN THOUGH the guy WAS a bad murdery sort, and the whole episode was clearly also about helping people with depression or suicidal designs for themselves.
(now i type all this out, i’m realising the underlying messages of this episode were kind of messy. just a bit.)
edit: OR maybe that was dean’s self-hatred talking
(how and why did the next prophet in line have an enochian tattoo, if the pick is random? was it just coincidence? or did he get that tattoo after donatello started whispering to him?)
sarah...... she was clearly angry, and ghosts that’ve been around a long time tend to get verrrry angry, as i recall? she could’ve done some angry ghost stuff, that would’ve been more satisfying maybe (but on the other hand, the quietness of nick’s exit was also impactful)
i enjoyed the transition of red lights and backdrops throughout the episode to yellow and white, and then the green in the room at the end
anyway. yes. really did expect more on the dean-and-cas front, but i also expected to be let down, so i don’t really know where i stand on that. i just want more of them interacting in general ;~;
next week: MORE EMOTIONS!!!! YAY
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14x03 watching notes
Just finished watching and said, out loud and to no one: “Awww Jack.”
(This is not a spoiler, he’s just so sweet.)
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Hallo, I am watching from bed despite having 3rd hand inherited a 2nd monitor over the weekend so theoretically my watching experience would be back to giant comfortable side-typing glory.
But comfy.
Easily accessible stuffed toys because Bobo Fucking Berens in Dabb era has made me cry more at this dumb show in the last couple of years than I cried in the previous ten.
Expectations: it's our Dean episode to make up for no Dean until now, and also Jody is there to see Sam's beard, and also Cas continues to be party!Cas, and Jack's shirts get darker and darker.
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Side note: I think I was rushing out the door before I could talk about our lil Nougat of Denmark properly last episode where he was all, so we're killing my uncle then, and Cas was all D: D: D: D: D: who raised you. (Dean. Dean did. In this regard the boy is his father's son.) This, of course, is another Shakespearean irony than is being returned to Dean via Jack.
The point of this focus is very much to show Jack vs Cas mindsets on it when we're getting Dean returned to us, and I assume considerably more nuance is being added to the story. But for now, Jack being ready to kill his father to kill his uncle because his father was ready to kill him to kill the ghosts he saw of his enemies in Jack is more than enough of a pile of tragedy level angst to be working with.
I just need it to be clear that as far as I'm concerned, Jack is working in a completely different genre from EVERYONE ELSE around him, and the fact that it's the protagonist of a tragedy is fairly alarming, as it's a mindset that Sam, Dean and Cas have hurdled over since season 5/6 and though Dean still assumes he'll die bloody, he is at least capable of dreaming of a happy ending, and a lessening of the angst load has allowed that. Their personal stakes in the story are dwindling, in a sense, while Jack has showed up with like FOUR FATHERS and an evil uncle, which is so much potential family angst Shakey would have exploded. "Wait you can just addeth extra fathers thence addeth extra angst!?!?"
Yes my dude, yes.
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*hits play* *Sam ruggedly cocks his pistol* You're stealing this whole shtick from Dean and I think it is time for the angst that you were the one dramatically cocking a gun and being the yes reductive heteronormative blah blah penis of the dynamic while Dean was not there to do it.
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Oh no we immediately start with more Jack angst recap and aside from everything I just said I remembered that Bobo personally murdered me in 13x03 with the Jack n Sam stuff and here we are a year later.
Mr Stark I don't feel so good
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THE BEARD EXCHANGE IS LITERALLY THE OPENING SCENE. BOBO I LOVE YOU. Thank you for breaking the tension and immediately drawing attention to how Sam has been busy and miserable. I think 14x01 set up well that every time he even had a moment to sigh his phone would ring again, and hence the beard appears as Sam eskews personal grooming and comfort in exchange for finding his brother. Jody is gonna draw attention to it at some point too because we have the promo shot of her nice peach fuzz-ing him, and I sincerely hope this is bookends to the episode and the next episode Sam is clean shaven with no comment except Jody prodded him in the face, and let me tell you only Bobo has me fantasising about the narrative framing of an episode like this.
God i'm a nerd
Anyway more seriously, this exchange coming out of the blue has a clear motive: Dean is up and about, still so freshly de-Michaeled he's in a waistcoat (and LORDY the only other scene he was in a waistcoat? 7x12's ending scene where Sam turns into such a moron in Jody's presence he's waving blushily at the door still AFTER SHE HAS GONE). Complaining about not being able to eat and sleep might be a sense of hyperbole to catch given the lack of elapsed time, but it also warns us that this might be how Dean reacts to being un-Michaeled. Or would he not, given he's up and about and snarking like his old self? How damaged will he be and how much can he repress into snark? He is playing off the very idea that this experience will have been damaging to his psyche and of course Michael did a ton of stuff which was expressly tuned to BE damaging to his psyche, then punched a mirror and shattered Dean's reflection for extra emphasis.
So all this question of how Dean is doing is loaded into the very opening line before he's even taken off his waistcoat, or of course, had enough time to truly eat/sleep/develop massive tells of the psychological trauma he may or may not have taken.
Obviously the show wouldn't be the show if he were fine, so I'm taking it as a question posed.
Then of course it slides into Bro Banter to prove it's Dean, remind us JUST how much we missed this snarky genre savvy fucker, and to make Sammy smile.
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Also we're mocking Jared for being friends with that one Duck Dynasty guy who Jared's fans insist is the least awful of the bunch and also who you end up hanging out with when you're most embedded in the Texan stardom scene rather than living in Hollywood or whatever.
(God imagine being famous and from Atlanta and sticking true to your roots and you end up with the Queer Eye guyses as your BFFs instead)
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Listen Bobo showed his socialist party membership card on twitter, he has no fucks to give about waving his politics around and I love him.
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"If you're going to ask if I'm okay, you don't have to" (I am making fun of your beard, what more do I have to give you, bro?)
Buddy, I have been watching your face for over a decade and you have the sad tired pink eyelids of a Dean who is both tired and miserable.
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Oh NO Dean walks into the main room expecting his comfy quiet library and war room full of 3 trusted family faces, and finds the bustle of Boss Sam's operation. The upcoming noise of these people before he turns the corner is an immediate warning that we should have expected this as dramatic irony for Dean's comfort levels from the start, and now he's back, well.
Panicked eyes.
He needs quiet recovery with his peeps, not alarming sudden change. A rug pull immediately after possession is a terrible thing to deal with. I've been wondering if this is a full reverse of season 6 for Dean - from the trustability of the hunter compound to the fact he lives in it, to the Samuel running it. But the effect is the same. Dean comes back from quiet time off to a change he can't handle and Sam in a new position in a family/hunter heirarchy. In this case, not Samuel's soulless goon, but a fully bearded Boss Sam King Of Hell Sir who Runs Shit competently in a way we the viewer trust implictly as Sam having Done Well, and also that the AU peeps might be a bit rough or untrained in some ways but 100% reliable in that they really do have no ulterior motive and every reason to think of Sam as an AU Moses who popped up and walked them to another land of safety and comfort.
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Like, Dean, welcome back, you have Hamlet, Moses and Mobby to deal with. Cas seems to be the same as you left him, though. If somehow, impossibly, squintier.
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"Right, Chief told us"
GOD I MISSED JENSEN'S MICRO EXPRESSIONS
You know how Michael sucks? No micro expressions. Guy doesn't have an anxious bone in his body.
This little bundle of neuroses I have chosen to love is full on having a meltdown on the other hand.
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"Dean? Is it really you?" "Hey kid"
HUG. THE. BOY.
I suppose this is better than last year when he had a hug from a shapeshifter and had to wait to episode 6 for a hug from his father, but REALLY this season has been tormenting me with how bad Jack feels and even a hug from his gramgram isn't enough to satisfy how he should have been hugged by Sam, Cas and now Dean already this season.
We're only on epiode 3 and he's already got more hugs than he had this point last year. Deep  breaths, Lizzy
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Children need a lot of cuddles to affect their development into sensitive people okay? Dean got a lot of hugs up to age 4 and Sam basically did not, and he's an awkward moose and Dean is snuggly. I want Nougat to have the same development into a sensitive lad because he has EIGHTEEN FUCKING PARENTS AND NONE OF THEM HUG HIM
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CAS HEARD 'DEAN' FROM ACROSS THE BUNKER, ARRIVES IN A BLUR
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GOOD NOUGAT, HUG DEAN.
But like, dude, Cas just showed up at a run and made the gooiest eyes at Dean who made them back, and now you're officially cockblocking, so naff off, kid
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I watched with prayer hands and Cas just got gooier and Dean got sulky he didn't get a Cas hug and this is officially the worst. Bobo, you let me down, my guy.
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I mean no, Cas's gooey eyes were
...
Cas doesn't do gooey eyes. He squints. Squintily.
Who is this guy
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Lol Mobby aren't in the episode because they stayed back to clean up - Sam gets stammery to Jack. Is he scared to imply they're maybe banging because he finds it weird but everyone else present is an even worse audience to announce this to for one reason or another (historically coped much better with the concept of dad sex when discovering adam and also didn't drive the car off the road into a ditch on finding out mary banged ketch), or is he trying to protect Jack from the concept of Michael leaving a pile o dead bodies for one reason or another, knowing Michael is his rage button?
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He was the one who dealt with Jack trying to stay back in the AU to fight Mikey instead of just coming home.
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"Speaking of clean up, I need a shower" *gestures vaguely* *Cas opens his mouth like why did I have a reaction image here? Do you want -* *closes mouth* *dean leaves*
Guys. You fucking suck. Go take a shower together and work things out.
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"Still okay, I promise" *bisexual finger guns at Cas*
cut to: Cas squinting after Dean like "is he implying something"
"..."
"I really feel like he was trying to communicate something to me"
"..."
"I have no idea what Dean just hinted loudly to me twice in short succession and now that he has gone to shower I guess I will never know what he was attempting to communicate to me"
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"Where's Nick?" "Hopefully not in this episode. Let's just say he needs some time because he's in a dark place and hope that's ALL we have to say about him"
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Oh no. "Sam. Dean. How is he really?"
Cas has a one track mind.
But then we get the shot of Dean opening his door and they're still talking about him over the top of it, but it's that same shadowed shot of himself silhouetted in the doorway, the inner darkness represented by his room... Sam went into his and stripped himself of the tools in his pocket but before he could sleep, Jo called and set them all off again with the next lead.
Now Dean opens his door and turns on the light so we can see his inner self in a moment of peace and privacy, but essentially with a voice over about how he's super not okay.
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Just how we left it. You can't even tell that for the last 2 episodes/3 weeks Cas has been coming in and snuggling your pillow every time he's not in a scene because where the fuck was he inbetween scenes in 14x02
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God I have missed lingering shots of Dean's room, equating his inner space to his inner feelings. *paws lovingly at the shot* Dean's room all tidy and orderly and as he left it, yet feeling somehow very very empty and off-kilter in an unfamiliar way because he hasn't been here for so long.
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It was all serious then guitar music started playing as Dean started stripping
and look
I saw the promo pics
you saw the promo pics
some person in the audience is like... why are we lingering on Dean getting undressed alone in his room while guitar music kicks up?
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Is this what all that winking and finger gun action was about?
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(Dean didn't wink but I took a lil break to chat with Mittens and the moment has evolved into him gurning at the door for like a minute trying to remind Cas that this means he joins him in the shower in 5)
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"Fuck this shirt in particular"
I still think it was the audacity of wearing a bow tie that dragged Dean to the surface last episode
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I love how Dean changes from this plain white t-shirt which is completely clean and shiny, into his normal dark dark brown shirt between scenes. I hope he got to shower. Whatever happened, this scar could have said "Ha ha ha I'm behind you", and he would have finished stripping down right to the skivvies then started fresh with his own boxerbriefs before freaking out and rushing to show the others.
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But yeah, he's PISSED and embarrassed about Michael. You don't throw a guy's shirt on the floor like that unless you feel SERIOUSLY used, and here we end up with a creepy sort of STD metaphor, complete with the visual similarity to the clap: https://www.giantmicrobes.com/uk/products/clap.html
Bad fling, Dean?
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Poker!witch gave Sam the clap in the episode which was totally not a metaphor about Sam getting the clap then beating poker!witch at his own game like nearly 20 episodes before he was possessed by Lucifer then beat him at his own game.
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"Do the whole vulcan mind meld thing" Listen, James T Kirk, you can't just MAKE yourself one of the most iconic slash pairings of all time by comparing - wait
wait a minute
*Checks slash history books and sees them as a dictionary definition or two*
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Anyway.
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Dean's so eager for Cas to jump into his head. Just, like. Again. We all said it but immediately after that shirt throw? It REALLY emphasises that Dean sees Cas in this transcendant way to being used by an angel that got in his head. And left an STD mark on his arm. He can just immediately think, well, that sucked. But here's MY angel and I'm just gonna rev myself up and present my head for inspection and this isn't even a thing I'm concerned about. Hit me, big guy.
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Oh come the fuck on Bobo.
I didn't have time to hit pause to have a heart attack about Cas putting his hand over The Scar, the one on the wrong shoulder, to get a clearer reception, because there's a HISTORY in scars, okay? They leave a mark and to the discerning poker and prodder like Cas that history can be read in the mark... And Cas sees... Michael being stabbed by a spear. Not just, like. Seeing Michael being stabbed by a spear, mind you. He sees it in a Bobo episode in a way wildly reminiscent of Patience seeing Claire/Kaia getting stabbed by a VERY SIMILAR LOOKING SPEAR and getting her Wayward introduction that way, when the whole Dreamhunter thing ended up being a massive Destiel parallel and Kaia getting stabbed already mirrored CAS getting stabbed by a spear (Michael's, natch) in 12x12, never mind the other stuff.
So Bobo has just built up a Destiel Dreamhunter sandwich, with Destiel nonsense either side, complete with bonus shoulder scar imagery, and a nice gooey dreamhunter centre.
Bobo, if you hadn't noticed, is really really really really reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally bitter he isn't off writing Wayward Sisters and hanging with his girls.
There's still a bunch of stuff to add up here, about why and who and how it all connects, which would involve dragging in these other spear-y episodes to assemble the full picture, so I'm just gonna hit play now I'm recovered from the shock :P
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Oh dude it was a hooded figure who even LOOKED like bad Kaia and tbh at this point I'd say maybe even was?
Like, how many pronged spears are out there anyway and Jody's dealing with it so is it local? Did Michael pop up on Kaia like hey so you and I are both from alternate universes, what do you wa - OW FUCK JESUS FUKKIN CHRIST -
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"Dean, who was that?"
Dean recognised her, and Cas was mind-melded enough with him to know that Dean did... Good grief I can not handle Dean and Cas existing on an emotional plane.
It's enough to mean they're the ones who call Jody with a tip off for HER rather than months of them asking her to help THEM.
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Introducing us back to the Wayward world - South Dakota mug, and a text that Claire is a little angel who has been training her gals and even did the laundry.
I'm so happy
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Eyebrow raise
God, Kim Rhodes is the most beautiful woman on the whole show and that's saying something considering, like. Ruthie. Lisa Berry. Something about the way she uses her face is so full of intelligence and humour that I am HELPLESS in her presence
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God damn I want that fabled Girls' Night episode. Billie comes along too on a night off.
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Rowena calls her up for chats sometimes these days, they're actually really good pals.
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Sam you fucking moron you can't even finish a sentence in her presence. Just slap Dean on his WOUNDED arm and throw the ball to him.
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Everyone leaning over the phone... This is the closest Cas has ever come to Jody.
"Jody, that's the good news."
Jody recognises that gravelly voice and snaps to holyshitanangel attention. "What's up?"
The implicit thing here is that Cas and Jody know each others' voices and are on at least chatting acquaintance. I would like to think they're invited over for beer at the same time but we have no proof..................... yet. This is Bobo on a "fuck you" rampage so I'm just, like, gonna wait see.
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Bad Kaia has been going around ripping heads off things. DAMN, GIRL.
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Considering the placement of the pronging was ~random~, in the sense that she can meat fork you anywhere, that means the placement of it on the meat of Dean's arm where the handprint once was on the other is even MORE significant in a metaphorical sense, of writing about "the scar" in the way of giving it a mystical property tied into the wider framework of all these relationships and events at once. The amount piled onto a simple stabbing is unbelievable, and the use of the scar as the vector for all this is definitely the byline of the episode given the title and all. It's brought Kaia back to us, given Jody the clue she needs.
And more dramatic irony that Claire was just asking to help, and Jody was like DEFINITELY HUMAN, SO ALL MINE. HAHAHA. And now we know, no, it's not all "human", it's bad!Kaia and that makes her CLAIRE'S.
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I keep stopping to seal clap
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it's 7:20am
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Cas is packing up to leave with them!!!
And Jack looms blurrily into the background in his darkest t-shirt yet. And he's been RAPIDLY cycling through them.
In a sense this is good laundry practice, in order that you have a full load of lights followed by a full load of darks.
Metaphorically, however, this is BAD.
Jack sounds pissed they're all wearing jackets and packing bags, and he's wandering around in an over-sized dark grey t-shirt (one of Dean's? AUBobby's? It doesn't look like his standard fare which fits his body, this makes him look SMOL), with no idea we were off to kill the wizard.
Let's be charitable and say he wants to meet Jody and hang out with Kaia again.
But more likely Bobo is once again messing with Jack's inherent darkness in his presentation, especially as right now, once again while Jack is being The Sweetest Little Cookie, meeting his grandparents for ice tea and looking through the family photo album with misty eyes, he is ALSO Prince Nougat of Denmark and this is causing some serious darkness slippage because, well, revenge. Revenge is bad, kiddo. Don't need a ghost of your dead father (hey Dean's back) to tell you that.
The accusatory tone is enough to warn us that Jack's not doing so well and I'm going to assume drags Cas away from a mission with Dean followed by cooldown eating pizza and watching flicks with the girls.
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"Kaia's killer is in Sioux Falls" Buddy. "He, she or it can hurt Michael" BUDDY.
I suppose they're bringing Cas because Bad Kaia kicked their asses and they assume Cas is the same height as her pet/metaphor for Kaia's inner fucked-up-ness so he can probably fight it??
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"Michael's my enemy too! I fought him. For MONTHS." JACK sweetie. You can't just go around like, having an enemy list. And comparing it with your collective fathers' list.
The line about bringing Kaia into it and being responsible for what happened to her is good, though. Jack's got a social consciousness and that is lovely because he keeps doubting his goodness but when it comes down to it he wants to meet his grandparents and feels bad that Kaia got dragged into things and killed.
Of course, not realising this is Bad Kaia, they're all off to get MORE revenge on that thing that killed her.
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Aw, Dean, no, don't point out how smol he is. He's wearing a huge baggy shirt to emphasise it already.
"I didn't - I didn't MEAN to be a dick" Whoops. Well, you were. You also missed the part where Jack went from smol precious child to angsty teen.
Fun fact: Hamlet was supposed to be like 18 or whatever, but because a famous actor wanted the lead role but was like, idk, 50, Shakey bumped up Hamlet's age a lil so he could get away with it, making him more of, like, a giant manbaby who is still functionally a teen in all ways except he keeps getting portrayed by middle aged men.
So, of course, we have our one and a half year old Nougat who is a 29 year old actor now getting into his terrible teens, and if that isn't the funnest nugget of trivia...
... then you are not as much of a nerd as I am about irony, coincidence, and neat overlaps of thingies.
Point is: get me a version of Hamlet where the other expected actors are adults of course, but Horatio and Hammy and his squad are dumb teens.
-
Lol Bobo just randomly introduces a cool lady hunter who is dragging a random victim of a hex down into the bunker to be healed by an angel. That poor girl is going to have a story to tell.
A lot just happened in a few seconds but at least Jack, who has stormed off for his nth teenage sulk of the season, now has a Cas trapped in the Bunker with him.
Dean n Sam gonna get their asses kicked by Bad Kaia
honestly is this just a ploy not to keep Cas where Jack is, but to keep Misha away from stunt fighting?
Anyway Dean communicates most of the above to Cas silently, and tells him that he should stay with Jack and also heal this girl and they have the most married eye conversation about what  needs to be done, which is wonderful that they've been having these silent conversations all Dabb era but this is definitely the wordiest so far. I mean one of their more recent was just "Dean I can hear that cowboy music in your head" "what cowboy music?"
-
DEAN DOESN'T EVEN LOOK THRILLED TO BE DRIVING BABY AGAIN.
Sam mostly looks concerned he's hitting 80mph
I don't know anything about American speed limits but this is an alarming speed to me because in the UK 70 is usually like, the Most, and we don't have enough long straight roads that when there's no speed limit it's ever really recommended to go super fast because you will flip your car and die because all our roads are one and a half car length wide and extremely wiggly. And our motorways are congested enough you're more likely to be in a traffic jam than top speed anyway :P
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I love that Dean measures people by their favourite Spice Girl. Hey Dean the 90s called, they want their pop culture relevance back.
You gay icon you.
(I'm reminded of 12x07 and Bobo and a similar conversation where Dean listed off all his manly manly historical faves)
-
Dean thinks Cas can handle it back home :')
-
"Something huge happened and you won't really talk about it!"
Okay Sam, he's traumatised and that's surface text.
You do realise the entire massive subtext is his repression and yet another metaphor for some huge queer experience and that this is the same conversation as 10x04 when he was grumbling into his chin about being embarrassed about what he did with Crowley? You realise that right?
Stop poking him about it, he'll talk when he's ready to open up. In the mean time he's feeling used and ashamed that this fling didn't go as planned after the whole first flirtation with waving his wings around and killing Lucifer where it all seemed fun to embrace his ~true self~ and have a crack at being a Flaming Michael Sword.
-
Also of course, we might just take him on his word that he really does NOT remember most of everything that happened because if he was truly repressing that much he wouldn't have been so gung ho for Cas to read his mind earlier but this mood pre-dates that so even if he remembered everything when Cas poked his brain, which seems unlikely as Cas saw it too, the wider sulk about his Clap Scar is more than just this.
-
It's a common experience, though, that Dean is repressed and moody, and Sam barrels in there trying to make him talk about it before he's ready, so the pressing is in character, regardless, that Sam doesn't trust that Dean is telling the whole truth and that there's some huge secret he's holding back.
The best part of queer subtext is that whether there is one or not it works - if there isn't, it's a metaphor for the obvious. If there is, same as above but the metaphor is concretely attached to whatever Dean is not telling Sam, and that in turn then becomes a part of the queer subtext, offered up on a platter to tell us more about how Dean is handling his post-possession shame of being, essentially, roofied after thinking he'd agreed to a consensual fling with a dude on his terms of entry and no strings attached, no walk of shame like he did when he was undressing earlier.
-
Poor guy can not catch a break. Shoulda hooked up with Aaron when you had the chance so your first time having a dude in you wasn't such a big deal, but just a nice booty call to keep in your phonebook. Now it's all Crowley this, Michael that...
-
"We need to deal with it." "Okay, I'm literally going EIGHTY to deal with it"
Dean, that's.
that's not therapy
"How can I be running from something when I'm RACING towards it" "I don't know, it's kinda your thing"
Sammy boy you have been trapped in the same car as Dean for way too long. Your analysis is getting deep. Deep deep cuts. Leave him alone.
-
I mean this is a guy who dealt with a gay panic by hooking up with Crowley and singing karaoke for him so.
-
"I  just *need* you to talk to me. Slow down."
Oh SAM you said a good and interesting combo of words there. Dean, go 70 instead of 80, give us some time to feel this out because I've been FREAKED and, for you, you got a time skip but I lived it all real time and it SUCKED, and I'm hurt too by this. Reminder: our family does not do well with LOSING each other, and this is every conversation we've ever had post-thinking that happened, and I did things responsibly and grew a beard and became Boss of a bunch of peeps and also King of Hell but we'll talk about that later... Like, slow down. I have my issues too. There's 2 of us in this car and you can't go 80 and time skip to the end of this conversation either. Not when I have 3 weeks of angst packed into it.
-
Also: classic Sam projection. Trying to get Dean to open up because HE has pain he wants to air, instead of just bringing up how he felt, he tries to get Dean to open up, and when this continues, as always, not to be how Dean deals with things, Sam gets upset because it never gives him the opening to talk about his shit until it's an argument...
You could have just started the convo, sorry about the beard, I really mean it when I say I haven't had a moment to myself for 3 weeks, it's been HELL and funny I should mention Hell, er, did you know you can kinda just declare yourself king these days... heh
-
At least he's using racing metaphors about wanting to catch up and also, like, catch up
Dean responds to the sport metaphors
-
Dean is like nah call Jody we're almost there. I skipped ahead.
-
Look, I'm delivering you to your boo, what more do you want?
Jody smiles at the sight of them in a way which is almost as revolting as Cas smiling at seeing Dean again
-
Hugs!
Send Jody to the Bunker to HUG OUR BOY
-
"How'd you do it?" "What, me vs some assbag archangel? Who would you pick?" "You, every time."
And this, guys, is how Jody is never, ever patched into their angst, because they present a narrative where Dean just kinda chucked off Mikey and sent him packing and it's all cool and he's a hero.
Jody has at multiple points threatened to beat Dean into submission in order to hear a true version of how he's doing and he has so far not given in and sat at her kitchen table with a box of tissues to sob through his crap, but I hold out eternal hope like the fool I am.
Anyway it's also telling RIGHT AFTER that last conversation where Sam was probing Dean so intensely, that this is the version of "I'm fine" that Dean is going with, and even though Sam KNOWS there's more to it, this is the wall Dean is projecting, even to him. Even when he knows Dean is freaked by it and doesn't know all the details.
-
Jody goes up like 18 pitches "Heeey I liiIIIiiike it!" she squeaks, forcefully tweaking Sam's beard because "nice peach fuzz" is too understated both for Jody and the volume of facial hair Sam has produced without comment until Dean came back and Jody showed up.
-
Dean has never been so offended in his life
-
*Jody continues giggling to herself while Sam desperately looks for a normal conversation*
-
AHAHA "I haven't been home since I talked to her........... I may be avoiding her"
Yeaaaah, bringing up that it's not just a normal human beheading and weird stab mark, but ALSO a KAIA-RELATED ONE maaay be... too much.
-
i'm going to be honest I've been so thrilled about everything I forgot to check what cast is flashing up on the screen
-
Anyway there is very much a subtext to Jody's avoidance of telling Claire what's going on that she knows how much she loved Kaia and how much of an issue this is - even if it's gonna be for revenge, because they don't know it's Bad Kaia - this is something where Claire's feelings make a MESS.
-
Bobo gets in Sam's serial killer thing, Dean is staring into the void like am I still even here or am I in hell. Is this a hell that Michael conjured. Mikey. Hey. Mikey. I figured it out. We're done here. Let's go back to regular torture. Michael. This is the bad place. Michael.
-
Dean stomps off into the woods because waiting for daybreak means being stuck in the same room as Jody and Sam flirting for a few hours.
-
Jody firmly pokes Sam in the chest with a map.
-
Sam.
-
A raven caws in the background, and Jack is wearing layers, the darkest shirt yet, a thick corduroy jacket in the style of early Sam, and is packing a bag.
-
He wrote a note and his handwriting is as disgustingly adorable as I thought it might be.
Alex wrote "Jack" with a cutesy backwards K in an autograph for someone who requested it at a con and I thought that was a cute detail but not how Jack would write and the real story - and I assume like with others they made him write it in character - is much more nuanced. His letters are competently shaped like he knows exactly how they should be, but shakily written, like he's not used to holding a pen, because, well, he isn't. He's not developed the muscle memory for it, just as he hasn't for fighting and all the other stuff, because in may ways he IS still a smol toddler with no life skills. His capital letters are huge and precise, like he knows he has to write them big, but disproportionate - putting so much emphasis on the titles of the people around him, the capital letters a metaphor for their influence on him. There's something clearly unconfident about writing and yet for all that obviously written by someone intelligent enough not to make basic errors of backwards letters and other things. He knows exactly how he is SUPPOSED to do it, but the execution is shakey, and disproportionate and generally looks unschooled and painfully revealing of his entire state of being.
-
Is this the scene where Bobo said out loud to an empty room, awww Jack.
-
I've been dreading that since the hiatus.
Maybe I should dig up that post and use it as the title for this one.
-
Triss is gonna die, Jack stopped by the stairs up out the Bunker in the war room, heard and saw Cas moving around, then in a fit of conscience or missing him already or something, stopped by to open the door and look in.
They have DEFINITELY expanded the Bunker set, in the sense that they've attached extra rooms to it or Wanek has sat down and made some parts more standardised, because they've shown off the corridor connections in every episode so far, and in this one we're seeing a never-seen-before connection which actually explains what is behind that window and how it fits. I mean, I'm pretty sure we've seen this particular room a few times, window and all, but never actual connections which show connected sets, so much as scenes starting or stopping there with no transition.
-
"She's been enchanted" "Like sleeping beauty" Jack says with awe "Awwwwwwwwwww" Lizzy says with awww
I honestly can't tell which moment Bobo said "Aw Jack" out loud about because we're getting such a series of them
-
Anyway, Hamlet, the great procrastinator, is distracted away from his mission to kill his uncle.
Not sure about the overlap of hearing things from the other side of a wall but I mean at least he's not going around stabbing people so
-
Jack also seeing all the important work they do for other people, even randos, and Cas getting involved in huntery business, distracted from emotionally nurturing him because of sleeping beauty there, and phoning rowena, doing the work to unknot a spell...
If we get Cas doing spellwork I'm gonna die, it's been Too Long.
-
Cas [squinting]: "Are you going somewhere?" Sleeping Beauty: "ooooww" Jack: "No."
Hon, that was so suspicious you are lucky this is Cas and not one of your other dads.
But. Aww Jack to an empty room.
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"If I get a vote I'm team stick together" Jody remembers 9x19
Also Sam remembers bad!Kaia kicking their butts. They're on her natural territory
she is the Predator.
-
Sam keeps LOOKING at Jodio.
Look, I just
Cas keeps looking at Dean, Dean keeps looking at Cas
Jam won't stop looking at each other
-
That head is a Warning.
Come no further, mortals
-
I think Bad Kaia lives here
-
Vampires.
they really need to figure out how to biologically identify them except for teeth because they really come up against a lot of dead ones
-
Oh
"I brought tissue samples home, Alex ran them underneath the microscope"
Look, girls supporting girls, I knew what they needed to do before they did it lol
-
Dean: I was stabbed here
-
YAY I went frame by frame before the reveal and that is Kaia's face in there, the hood less spooky than before and more open to reveal her
-
Dean: bout to be stabbed here again
-
Dean finally has the moves to take on Bad Kaia after a season or two with the new stunt guy
but then her hood falls back and he's STUNNED
-
Now everyone is stunned
-
I think they've been using the Wayward Sisters Bad Place soundtrack for this but I'd have to check
the music is so very different and I'm not good at music ear thing
-
Cas: *eye twitches violently* Me: Cas why are you having trouble with this line Cas: "... marked.................... 'gross stuff'"
Cas, internally: Why did I marry into this family
-
Future MoLHunter 100 years later: "Man, this place is sweet, but the filing system is balls to the walls." Other Future MoLHunter: "Babe, you did not read the Winchester Gospels before your initiation?" F MoLHunter: "There is a drawer here marked 'hands of god' and the only thing in there is a pair of chopsticks and a ladel" OF MoL Hunter: Okay I will give you that. -
Me out loud to an empty room: aww Jack
He's so concerned about Sleeping Beauty, and he can't do anything about it but he's curious.
Maybe he CAN fix her and this is how he gets a lil power back.
I hope so because awww Jack being so concerned about her.
This is a Good Procrastination From Revenge
Hamlet, take fucking notes
-
"Is that your dad?" "One of them, yes." Aw Jack
Aw Bobo
Jack's flipping around on family - he's accused them of talking about nick/Lucifer as his father, he's disowned everyone but grampa and grammy Kline, and now he's fondly thinking of his three hero dads
He's really struggling to work out his place and what sort of family set up he belongs to and to be fair, he has so many fucking options and all of them are somewhat disastrous or tragic, so he's 100% in his right to be fuckin confused.
On the other hand Sleepy Beauty has no context so she's gonna assume Cas is gay married with a kid Jack's age and that's like, not untrue.
-
"My mom... but she probably hates me" "Why?" Jack says, horrified at the entire concept that a mom could hate a child, because, well, Kelly's love was COSMIC for him "because I left," she anvils
-
"I was sick of being treated like a kid, and i thought I could make it on my own" Oh boy. She's just expositioning how Jack feels and immediately telling him if he leaves he'll fall in with a witch, who curses her with an AGING spell which will make her old before her time.
I feel like there is probably... a metaphor........... in here...............
-
Also a reverse of Dean's aged down curse, because the girl and her other victims were hansel and greteled.
I had a sudden whim a couple of nights ago to see aged down Dean and current Jack hang out. Bring back Dylan Everett to go play basketball with Jack out on the front step.
-
"Gave us all nice things," she says, clutching at a HUGE EVIL EMERALD PENDANT AROUND HER NECK
Jack.................................
Is that cursed
-
"She said having us there kept her young" She put her own age into that locket
dang I should get a bonus point for bringing up poker!witch before he was relevant
I'm always curious about the show's implications about witches maintaining their youth by sucking it from others, because almost every witch we've met who had a focus on age was doing it for that reason, whether it was eating children or playing poker.
And we have a 300 year old witch chilling around who we don't know anything about when it comes to immortality, except that she has it and she bestowed it on Oskar so it's clearly a spell she can do rather than an inherent trait of reaching a certain level of magic practitionery.
-
"Then it started taking me too. Even faster than the others!" yeah because she killed the witch so she probably has to suck poor sleeping beauty dry in order to regenerate and skulk away and start over somewhere
-
PS: Sleeping Beauty is really doing an amazing performance here. I 100% am in Jack's shoes of being horrified and wanting to protect her
-
"Cas is going to fix this. I promise" Sweetie! Have you ever called him Cas rather than Castiel before? It seems weird. He even wrote castiel on the letter
-
Sam deducts Michael's entire plan off the clue that Alex couldn't detect the vamps in her sciencing, and based on having been attacked by super werewolves.
But why is Michael cleaning up these people?
Unless he's taking threats off the board who would be too cool and powerful and may challenge him...
-
"Doesn't change the plan" "but Dean - "
Dean walks off
Dean has no time for Sam suggesting maybe this is something awful because of Michael that Dean might know about or else be weirdly intimately connected to because of his weird Michael-based condition.
We have no clue what's going on and Sam doesn't like that and Dean's powering through and Jody is hovering in the background like WOW I can see why you leave me out of all your dumb main plot angst normally. Never done me one of these MAIN PLOT ones before. Can we go back to normal MotW where you're low key angsting in the subtext about whatever currently ails you?
-
Jody slaps Sam on the lower back
lower, babe. Lower.
-
Cas does magic, boom purple smoke!
Aw no she's still withered.
Jack, take her necklace off and smash it
because you did the good work of a hunter and talked to her and through being kind discovered what was wrong with her
-
Jody has a phone provider that gets her signal in the wilderness
-
"Claire's been doing so good, but anything connected to Kaia... she's a powder keg"
"FIRST LOVE STRIKES QUICK, AND TO LOSE IT LIKE THAT"
okay no Jody didn't shout it, but Bobo did.
ILY Bobo
I'm like 0% surprised but I am guessing other people who had been less trusting are throwing a complete party to have it textually confirmed like that. I felt like Bobo's intent especially when he went on the record in that stream AND he had been saying already that he shipped it right after Wayward Sisters, that he never ever meant to be coy about Dreamhunter, and confirming that Claire was madly in love with Kaia was a top priority on his fuck you list since he didn't get to write the show he wanted in order to work on this naturally.
-
Sam nods like fair enough, happened to me with Jess, but uh wow okay no i did not - yeah okay yeah
-
"He's not ready for this case" "maybe he needs it"
Jam jam jam jam
I mean
Yeah mature adults discussing issues together and working out how they feel about Dean rage-hunting Bad Kaia
-
hey look it's that one cabin that has been in like every episode of the show in the same way that one little stoney valley was in every episode of BBC Merlin
-
Has she lost her spear??
-
Dean, that was RUDE, you're so horrible to all these versions of Kaia
-
That zoom up on his face is one of the top 10 Dean Is Not Okay zooms of the show
-
So not like "bad cas" or "new bobby" are Dean's definitions for AU peeps - no word on what Charlie is to him, maybe because AU Charlie is a real issue for him to define as he couldn't help treating her like his Charlie.
But Bad Kaia insists that she is to Kaia what she is to me - they're joined in a different way. A way that back in Wayward Sisters was implied to be a dreamwalking connection of a very different sort, something anchoring our Kaia to the bad place and their connection was... weird.
-
"That was an accident. I was trying to kill the blonde" She's remorseful about killing Kaia but upsets them even more by reminding them that she was out for Claire instead.
How about we kill no one, bad Kaia
-
Oh no, Michael keeps sending monsters after her... Now she sounds like the original Kaia just because she's got "always more" things out for her. I suppose Michael learned of her through Dean, found her, and either wants to stop her or capture her because she has universe-crossing dreamwalking abilities, and woooow that will be useful to him.
-
NOOO SLEEPING BEAUTY DIED. THIS IS REALLY BAD. JACK COULDN'T SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE HEEEEEEEEEER
waaaaaaaaaah
Stop fuelling Nougat having an interesting dark arc about his entire self and purpose and let him just hang around the bunker and watch TV and eat nougat and be hugged. Can we not just have a son who is okay and nothing is wrong with him?
-
Oh no even the random hunter (did I really catch her name as Brunhilda or did I imagine that?) is crying at Jack crying over Sleeping Beauty dying. Cas is contractually obliged not to cry or do complicated stunts but he looks miserable too.
Oh, jack figured out the pendant?
But can they actually save Sleeping Beauty?
-
Sam as usual getting in before I can - "Break her!??!?"
don't you dare hurt Kaia any more, she's already told you what she knows, Michael hurt her, you punched her out with the same face and then threatened her a bunch. She might be a snarky monster-hunting feral woodland weirdo but she's still Kaia-like and you have a history of being completely horrible to Kaia-like girls when you're in a bad place.
-
And it turns out Dean just wants the spear that pronged him, to figure out what it did and how to hurt Michael with it. To go on his own revenge mission that he denied Jack because, guys, we are now in competition for who gets to have the angsty anti-Michael revenge mission. Jack and Dean literally competing to be most angsty about it.
Jack is being considerably more productive even if Dean solved the Kaia mystery.
But yeah. Revenge sucks you guys.
-
Dean you need to eat a snickers and take a rest.
-
smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk because fuck you Dean for always hurting me and the other Kaia who is probably also me.
-
Jack is being much smarter.
The smartest cookie.
Who needs powers when you are a good cookie.
-
"She wasn't cursed. This was."
GOOD COOKIE.
-
I vote Jack gets to kill Michael. Dean has lost his Michael killing rights.
-
"You're no different from him. Threats, violence, anything to get what you want." "I am nothing like him."
Hon.
"Yeah you are. And you always have been."
I don't know if Kaia knows or if she's pulling a gambit, but acting like a mystic know it all and reading Dean stone cold in a villain way sure did take some of his rage away into that good old Dean self-loathing and fear, which was one heck of a good chess move regardless of if she can magically read him or not.
No I don't think Dean is these things but Michael is a means of exploring Dean's "blunt little weapon" sort of mindset that he has suffered from because of John's upbringing all this time, and Michael emotionally mauling Dean to the point of being a non-functioning worst version of himself who threatens Kaia (AGAIN) really is an on the nose way to display the sort of trauma that Michael tore into his psyche.
-
Crap I need to go to yoga, but this is too good to rush so even though I don't have much left, I will be back for proper notes in a bit!
-
Him smash magic glowy thing with hammer
just like i told myboy to do!
Cas's hair is ridiculously spiky.
-
"What happened?"
YOU MADE NOUGAT FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED
Aww jack to an empty room
-
Sam I  have been gone for hours. How have you not tackled Dean to the floor and apologised to Bad Kaia
-
"I saw what you did to her, when you got angry. You shoved your gun in her face." To be fair, at the time Dean had also been emotionally mauled by the feels bear because Jack gave him a vision of Mary being tortured in Hell-equivalent and he was also fucked up beyond belief.
Kaias really are seeing the worst side of him all the time.
-
Bobo likes breaking Dean
-
That was enough to make Dean let go
Also to ask a really good question about how she knows!
I'm way more curious about Kaia than Dean yelling at her :P
-
Then she points out that he's angry and impatient because he's scared, like, duh, but sometimes he needs to be reminded that he can have "weak" emotions like that because he wants to be all tough and on the case and instead he's freaked out because Michael has messed him up completely. Like. Stay home. Help the boy with lore or something. Take a pyjama day.
-
Wheee full flashback!
The early evening light gives it a Bad Place colour tinge, which is awesome.
-
I can't believe Mikey shows up in his hat but not his jacket.
-
He says he's BORROWING Dean here. Hm.
-
Also, what I suspected, that he sensed her around and was just curious. Probably having a "what the fuck that's KAIA!?" from Dean inside him and being like Kaia huh? Time to chat.
-
Mikey do you literally not have your own version of that fuck off huge spear they stabbed Cas with a couple seasons ago, or do you just collect cool spears?
There's something more than usually terrifying about his face in this conversation.
And he now says there's a war coming and thinks something weird like Bad Kaia might appreciate being on his side.
Oh boy.
-
"Wild one" that's so cool
-
Michael really has some great lines for being a massive pillock
-
Omg he fight good too
-
AAH this is Kaia's memory and she's psychically implanting it in Dean's head
"Stop!" he says, clearly not enjoying watching himself beat up Bad Kaia and, like, realising exactly how awful it looks to do this when he has to watch himself from the outside and for all we know feel her pain too.
-
Of course Dean being desperate to get the spear to fight Michael could come across with a blur of ambiguity of Michael being desperate still to have it, whether to stop Kaia using it or because he just really wanted it and doesn't like being told no.
The concept that Michael just disappeared from Dean still lingers.
-
So many fights with a whole bunch of people this season. Maybe just because there's so many friggin characters
-
"Now you're in trouble" *Bad Kaia literally leaps through a window to avoid dealing with this* I love her
-
NICE STAB
thanks for saving Jody
-
Well that was quick
Also you're badass and terrifying and I think Claire might fall in love with you too >.>
-
"I'm used to it" Oh babe.
She literally raised herself in a terrifying doomy forest so
I mean at least this world has dry crackers and beans. SCORE
-
Jody has got a LOT of thinking to do about how to phrase any of this to Claire.
"So there's a feral Kaia living in the woods outside of town"
-
Awww Sam offering her a lift to the hospital
Bobo wants us to remember 9x06 and Dean having to tend Cas's broken hand maybe
-
Sam. Hug her right now. RIGHT NOW.
-
Nope Jody just looks really tormented
-
She's in a reverse Jack position - one mom to 3 hunters instead of one kid to 3 hunters :P
-
Hey look it is Jack and one of his fathers.
"Jules is off!" Hey look Sleeping Beauty was called Jules. Nerdylittleshit doesn't read these notes however so she will never know that I decided this character was named after her :P
-
Cas apologises for not being there for Jack, because it took this long to realise he's the father who's always at work while others have taken the stereotypically maternal role to Jack, Cas just gets to be the cool strong father who is usually dead, captured or just busy saving people and too busy for Jack as a result.
-
"It's okay," Jack says, sounding considerably more emotionally balanced about it than he had in 14x01 when everyone was neglecting him
-
"Today you PROVED that you have the mind of a hunter. And the heart of a hunter" Raised by the best, bitches!
-
Awwww Cas wants to be a hunter with Jack! They can get a terrible car and hit the road and do an easy case and bond as they go and eat crappy food at diners and
Jack develops Nephilim Flu in response to having a nice moment with a father because he's so unused to being treated with full attention.
-
Cas: *squints*
-
"Must be getting my first cold!"
I have a cold too Jack! Awww!!
-
Cas is going to make him some soup. This is too sweet. I don't even have words for any of this it's just gross. My teeth hurt.
-
Jack I swear to god if you stopped your revenge quest and it hurt you so bad inside you're about to cough up a lung I am going to LA to kick the writers' asses in person so if you dare be even the slightest bit consumptive
-
Oh thank god the scene changed before he coughed blood into his hand
-
Awww and then Dean admits Sam was right, while still being the one driving on the way back.
I wonder if they filmed these side by side. "Dean slow down" "Sam you were right"
-
"What Michael used me for" Ouch, hearing him say it like that... Sad sad thoughts.
He just wanted to skip ahead and have it all done because revenge makes you feel SO much better.
-
"Dean... you did what you had to do" Okay it's even worse hearing someone else justify it rather than hearing that phrase come out of someone's mouth. At least when they say it about themselves they're just in a bad place. I don't even know if this is a pavlovian response I'm having but really flipping it around to have Sam say it is a validation - Sam certainly thinks things are better off with a dead Lucifer and would have a favourable bias, because it got the job done and whatever Mikey is up to at least it's not Lucifer doing it. Because even if Lucifer were doing the exact same things it would just be intangibly but clearly worse.
-
"It wasn't a blink, being possessed."
Dean says to Sam, who has been possessed by an angel twice and when it was Gadreel, for almost as long as Dean was Michaeled
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Dean's so freaked out because fighting the drowning sense of being possessed was so horrifying and made him feel so weak and useless and he didn't even win that fight, Michael just bailed and let him have it back. With the "I own you" hovering over him.
It certainly reeks of being haunted by a bad relationship. The sense the nasty abusive ex hovering around outside the place you work every night...
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"And it's all on me, man" No it isn't, he got through because Lucifer told him how.
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Well I mean if you wanna go cosmic consequences, yeah it is because Billie done told you not to go universe hopping and that's several billion dominoes you messed around with doing exactly that
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But despite how I spent all of season 13 SHRIEKING at you not to do it while knowing full well you did, and how this is technically your cosmic hubris for doing that, I also don't actually blame you on a personal level, Dean. Just, like, so you know once I get back to the shrieking. Because ow you are very sad and in pain and if Nougat wasn't coming down with Nephilim Flu in the other scenes I'd basically rank you No 1 for wrapping in blankets and feeding soup.
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You're still in the top 10. Jodi had a pretty bad day too :P
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Oh COME ON JACK
*starts packing my bags for the ass kicking*
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Aww Jack to an empty room
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Um EXCUSE ME HOW MANY CONSUMPTIVE TISSUES HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH?
GO FIND YOUR FATHER RIGHT NOW
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HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE WEEKS?
Well no wonder you've been in a panic to get Michael killed.
SHEESH.
Dean's back and he's gonna kick your ass because he remembers when Sam did this in the Trials and he is very very anti consumptive family members.
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hellagayweird0 · 6 years
Text
Jay’s Season 14 Episode 3 Chat
(Read more will be included)
~ SAMMY AND SAMMY BEARD 😍
~ “Some people say I look good.” YES AND YOU DO, BABY
~ “No.  No, Sam.  No people say that.” Dean I stg don’t you dare insult the Sammy beard, I will hurt you.  SAM LOOKS GREAT
~ “Michael bailed.”  The fandom:
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~ Ok camera hi um I like his face but I don’t need to see it so close, thanks
~ Chief is now and forever going to be a nickname I use for Sam in my fics, thank you very much.  I LOVE CHIEF
~ Jack: “Dean?”  Dean: *starts singing* “I heard that you were talking shit and you didn’t think that I would hear it.” *But seriously, that part of the song just automatically started playing in my head when they saw each other 😂*
~ “Is it really you?” Jack noooooooooooo it’s a liiiiiiie
~ Dean and Cas: *smile at each other*  Me: 
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~ EXCUSE ME WRITERS WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT “Dean and Cas don’t hug” THING I NEED ANSWERS I WILL FULL ON RIOT I’M MAD
~ “How’s Nick.”  *crawls into a corner* We don’t mention that name in this household, sir.  He’s not welcome here
~ There are so many layers to suits, damn
~ NEW SCAR, FRIENDS.  TIME TO RESEARCH
~ “Cas, I’m gonna need you to get in my head.”  All the Destiel shippers: 
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~ Oh that’s a Dark Kaia and a stabby stab
~ WHAT WAS THAT DRAMATIC ZOOM OUT, CAMERA PERSON?
~ *screams* JODYYYYYYYYYYY I’VE MISSED YOU, MOM
~ Hey Claire my wife, what’s up I miss you
~ Aw Jody happy to hear from her son again
~ OH OKAAAAAY, HOLD ON *pulls out a chair for the writers* SIT DOWN AND LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.  YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU CAN BRING DARK KAIA BACK TO THE SHOW AND INCLUDE HER IN STUFF BUT YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT WAYWARD?  ALRIGHT, COOL, JUST WANTED TO CLEAR SOME THINGS UP (Can you tell I’m totally over this 😆)
~ Oh I’m glad the “giant meat fork” thing has context now 😆
~ AW JACK *hugs him*
~ Dean you can’t come back and just start giving Jack orders.  You aren’t the parent here
~ LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE, DEAN.  NOW BABY CHILD IS ALL SAD
~ “I didn’t mean to be a dick.” *coughs and remembers last season* Sure, Jan
~ (Also ok I get he’s been through a lot and I’m being hard on him BUT I CAN’T HELP IT)
~ Oh hi new people, you’re both adorable and I already love you
~ Ok nope I’m calling so much bullshit here.  You’re telling me that Dean literally cutting Sam off to insist that Cas stay in the bunker and not go with them to help, even though Cas could be a huge help to them, is normal Dean?  He seems waaaaay too eager to have Cas not go with them.  I don’t trust that AT ALL
~ See, Dean and I handle hard times/pain the same way.  By joking, not taking it 100% seriously, and sometimes flat out ignoring/avoiding it.  Not for bad, insulting reasons.  Just because it’s easier to joke than to face stuff.  (Sorry, this took a dark turn 😆 I just wanted to say that.  I relate to Dean a ton.)
~ NOT A SLIGHT B.M. SCENE MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT
~ AW MAMA JODY HUGS
~ HAHA SEE DEAN, JODY LIKES IT TOO
~ I love the looks they give each other when Jody’s not looking 😆 little things like that make a scene so much better
~ Dean wtf is going on with you, you’re so eager about this, I don’t trust that
~ JACK HEY NOOOO *grabs him by his jacket* PUT THAT STUFF BACK YOU AREN’T RUNNING AWAY GET BACK HERE YOUNG MAN
~HE WROTE THEM A NOTE I’M CRYING (also 2 things.  one, who taught him how to write?  two, HIS HANDWRITING IS AWESOME.)
~ “Like Sleeping Beauty.”  *starts sobbing* Jack, could you be anymore pure?  ALSO WHO TAUGHT HIM ABOUT SLEEPING BEAUTY BECAUSE I WANT TO GIVE THEM A GIANT HUG.  THANK YOU, STRANGER
~ Oh thanks for mentioning Rowena.  I miss my favorite witch
~ “Are you going somewhere?” Cas parent mode is activated YES CAS BE A GOOD DAD I LOVE YOU
~ Jody, you don’t even have to ask, of course you get a vote, you queen
~ Sam is like “Nope this is some bullshit.”
~ AGAIN, CAMERA PERSON, I DON’T NEED HIS FACE THIS CLOSE, CAN YOU FOR THE LOVE OF CHUCK BACK UP?
~ *sings* SUPER MONSTEEEEEEERS
~ DEAN FUCKIN TOUCHED A HOT TIN CAN AND HAD NO REACTION.  I’M SORRY, BUT WTF??  THIS ISN’T FULL DEAN AND I’M STILL. CALLING. BULLSHIT.
~ Oh hey Dark Kaia, my love
~ I love how Dean just casually lands on Sam
~ I LOVE WHEN DARK KAIA IS A NINJA (also what was that “throwing the spear, diving to it, grabbing it, and running off 😆 it was strange but cool.)
~ Ok but for real I’m super curious as to who this AU!Kaia is
~ “Let’s find her and ask.” Oh yeah, I’m sure you’ll have a nice, calm chat over some tea maybe
~ “It’s marked ‘gross stuff’.” Could I love this show anymore than I already do?  The answer is no
~ AWWW JACK JUST SITTING WITH THE GIRL *screeches*
~ “Is that your dad?” “One of them, yes.” If you’ll excuse me, I have to wrap myself in a blanket and sob into a pillow
~ JACK IS SUCH A GOOD LISTENER LOOK AT HIM BEING CUTE
~ Oh that glance, the pressure is on, Cas
~ DEAN I SWEAR STOP GOING SO FAST WITH NO PLAN THIS IS HOW PEOPLE GET HURT HAVEN’T YOU LEARNED ANYTHING
~ Look at that floppy Sammy hair
~ Well isn’t that pretty and purple
~ Now let’s all take a second for dramatic timing to kick in- yup there it is
~ JACK CAN’T HELP HE LOOKS SO SAD NOOO
~ “First love strikes quick.” THEY MADE IT CANON, BITCHES!!  YEEEEEES *breaks out the whiskey* TIME TO CELEBRATE KAIAXCLAIRE
~ Oh Sam knows a little about losing love (I’m sorry I had to)
~ “He’s not ready for this case.” IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, HE’S NOT READY FOR MUCH OF ANYTHING, BABE
~ Dark Kaia jump scare, hi
~ THAT’S GOTTA BE SOME DIRTY WATER
~ Those crackers will dry out your mouth so quickly, my dear.  Take some dirty water with you
~ Here’s Deany
~ Oh well you’re welcome to tie me to a chair any day of the week, sir (i mean what....)
~ “I was trying to kill the blonde.”  Jody: *pulls out a gun* “I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH.”
~ DEAN BACK AWAY FROM MY DARK WIFE
~ Oh no the poor girl!!
~ JACK THIS ISN’T YOUR FAULT, CAS THIS ISN’T YOUR FAULT
~ NO MY TINY SON DON’T CRY PLEASE NO DON’T BE SAD
~ YES JACK SAVE HER YOU GOT THIS BABY
~ DEAN FUCKIN CHILL I SWEAR
~ In what world does a chair slide that easily?  Apparently this one
~ DEAN WTF STOP
~ JACK YOU’RE SUCH A SMART BOY
~ “You’re no different than him.  Threats, violence, anything to get what you want.” *starts clapping*
~ “I am nothing like him.” SURE JAN
~ “Jack, are you sure?”  “No.” *breaks it anyways* I love him
~ Heeeeey she’s okaaaaaay YOU DID IT JACK I’M SO PROUD OF YOU
~ Why do I miss Michael!Dean?  Is it bad that I want him back? 😆
~ Excuse me, don’t kick her
~ Aw Jody
~ Yay new friends coming to visit
~Guys, you didn’t even knock first.  Rude
~ SAM’S ANGRY FACE DOES THINGS TO ME THAT WE WON’T TALK ABOUT
~ “I was never one to turn down a buffet.” ME TOO
~ WHY DOES SAM ALWAYS GET THROWN ONTO TABLES 😆
~ Hi um don’t touch Sam’s beautiful face, thanks
~ GO JODY
~ GET AWAY FROM MY MOM
~ Wait wait wait, would a chair losing a leg really loosen the ropes?  HOW DOES THAT WORK, AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE 😆
~ Dean: “Now you’re in trouble.” Dark Kaia: *dives out the window*  Dean: “Well shit, never mind.” 
~ NO JODY
~ YES DARK KAIA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, YOU BADASS
~ I hope we meet again, wifey
~ Jody, you’re such a fuckin queen
~ Aw yeah, Claire deserves to know
~ “I just feel like I already lost before I ever even began.” Was that shade towards what happened (or rather, didn’t happen) with Wayward?  WAS THAT SHADE?  IF SO, I’M SO PROUD AND I BOW DOWN TO JODY
~ EXCUSE ME NO DON’T GIVE ME A SPLIT SECOND OF JODY CRYING I DON’T LIKE HER CRYING NO THAT’S NOT OKAY NOOOOO
~ Jack just lying on his bed, contemplating life, is meeeeeee
~ LIL JACK SMILE
~ I. FUCKIN. LOVE. CAS. AND. JACK. FATHER. AND. SON. MOMENTS.
~ I LOVE WHEN CAS IS PROUD OF HIS CHILD YES
~ Not gonna lie, I had to take like 5 minutes because I was crying over this scene BUT I NEED AN EPISODE WHERE CAS AND JACK GO ON A HUNT TOGETHER PLEASE AND THANK YOU
~ THE LIL SMILE IS BACK
~ Other parents are proud of first steps, first words, and stuff.  And the fandom is over here like AW HIS FIRST COLD HOW PRECIOUS 😆
~ “I’ll make you some soup then.” PLEASE HOLD AS I RESUME MY CRYING
~ NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS B.M. SCENE, NOPE, NO *jumps out of the impala* *screams from the distance* NOOOOOOPE
~ “I put us all in danger today.  Stupid danger.” YEAH WE KNOW
~ As hard as it is, baby, you can’t skip like that.  You have to be careful.
~ Hey um Dean I don’t like this “putting yourself down” part *hugs him* stop it
~ Are we forgetting that both Sam and Dean have been possessed by archangels?  I’m sure Sam knows what it feels like (I’m not yelling at Dean 😆 I’m just saying)
~ Dean: “I was underwater.”  Me: *breaks out into singing All Of Me* MY HEAD’S UNDERWATER-”
~ NO CAMERA PEOPLE YOU ARE EVIL DON’T YOU DARE GIVE ME A SHOT OF SAM WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES WHO SAID THAT WAS ALLOWED
~ Okay, let’s pause for a second.  Dean, sweetheart, you said yes because Sam and Jack were in danger.  If you hadn’t, Jack would be dead and who knows what would’ve happened to Sam.  You did the right thing, and whatever Michael does/did, isn’t on you.  You had no control after he took over.  You said yes to him helping you save Sam and Jack.  You didn’t know he’d take over and start doing all this stuff.  Not. Your. Fault.  Alright, let’s resume
~ JACK, UM, THAT’S BLOOD.  JACK THAT’S FUCKIN BLOOD.  EXCUSE ME YOUNG MAN WHY ARE YOU COUGH BLEEDING?  THAT’S NOT OKAY IN THE SLIGHTEST.  YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE AND GET HELP, DON’T YOU DARE PULL A WINCHESTER AND JUST NOT SAY ANYTHING.  BABY BOY PLEASE IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU I’LL GO HUNTING FOR SOME WRITERS.  PLEASE DON’T DIE
~Also, I’m getting Sam S8 flashbacks and I don’t appreciate this
And that’s it for S14 E3!  This episode was the best one this season so far by a long shot.  It felt like the first real episode.  And for some reason, it felt really short.  But it was still good!  I’m really excited for next week’s episode!  Even though it’s a filler, it looks awesome! (even though Sam beard is gone....I’m not sad....*sniffs*)  And that mystery girl with Sam who I’ve been trying to figure out the identity of for so long is in it SO MAYBE I’LL FINALLY GET SOME ANSWERS.  She’s adorable.
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castiel-kline · 4 years
Text
KitKat’s Random Rewatch (part 1)
So I’m rewatching a bunch of SPN episodes with no rhyme or reason to the order. Legit just whatever episode I’m feeling. And I thought why not just infodump my thoughts, because I haven’t seen a bunch of these in a hot minute. So if you’re interested in reading my ramblings, keep a lookout for these posts. 
We’re starting with Byzantium (14x08). It still hurts upon rewatch, trust me. 
My god Jack is too sweet
Is it a rule that all cinnamon rolls must say something heartbreakingly pure before dying? Because Jack saying “please don’t be sad” and “then it’ll be an adventure” go straight to my heart. And break it. Jack, please stop killing me
My god SAM’S FACE IM CRYING
Cas honey don’t leave the room
Oh NO after watching 15x15 knowing that Cas still makes the distinction between Jack dying this time because he missed it and the next makes this hurt so much more
Not to be bitter but why is the camera lingering on only Dean’s face before the title card?
Iconic shot of the three of them sad in the hallway
“Your brother’s in pain” ahhHHH Cas stop
The montage of Sam and Cas mourning while Dean’s calling Mary... oof. Side note, did we ever follow up on this voicemail? Because Dean did not sugarcoat so Mary probably had an attack listening to it
The shot of Cas holding the picture of Kelly while standing over Jack’s body.... IM SOBBING
totally forgot Cas saw Sam leaving JUST GO AFTER YOUR FRIEND CAS DARNIT
I mean I do appreciate that Cas respects Sam’s space, but y’all are grieving co-parents. Just hug and cry, it’s okay
Definitely remember my heart stopping the first time when Dean said “tell me you didn’t make a deal.” Little did I know what was coming aHA
My heart is breaking for Sam ahhHHHHH
I think this is hitting Sam so hard because first of all it’s Jack, but also because he doesn’t have a task to instantly bury himself in. So he has to think about it and confront it and because of that he’s about to snap. I just want to hug him please
OHH CAS HAS TEARS IN HIS EYES STAHP
how are Sam and Dean not dead if they’re drinking enough to get Cas tipsy?
The smiles. Somehow it hurts worse.
If there comes a day that the sight of TFW eating nougat candies to mourn Jack doesn’t make me sob, there is something seriously wrong with me.
Slightly bummed we missed out on the SamCas convo where they decided to call Lily Sunder
Dean is hella hungover and it’s actually kinda funny in this emotionally draining episode. Kudos, Jensen.
Jack’s heaven being the road trip to dodge city. Kill me now.
Jack running from the Empty... the sludge really does look like the s15 title card. I wonder if that’ll come back to haunt us.
KELLYYYYYYYY
Courtney and Alex really slayed this scene didn’t they. I’m crying so much
“I grew up” JACK SWEETIE STOP
Jack and Kelly holding hands... that hug... more mother and son time please I’m begging I love them
I really appreciate the framing of this shot with Sam and Cas on one side and Dean on the other.
See, Dean, you were on board with the soul magic plan eventually so you can’t be mad about it later. Except you were. What’s wrong with this picture?
“Don’t you think Jack should decide that for himself?” YESS CAS LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
sAm please you’re killing me
Cas is so happy to see Dumah. That’s kind of breaking me.
Naomi, I still kinda hate you for torturing Cas.
“I know him. This is where he’ll be.” CAS KNOWS HIS SON FAM IM CRYINGGGGG
“I’m not going anywhere.” KELLY MA’AM YOU DESERVE THE SUN AND THE STARS AND THE WHOLE UNIVERSE
this is literally my favorite Dadstiel hug HOW DID I FORGET CAS’S LAUGH OF PURE JOY
JACK’S FACE WATCHING CAS AND KELLY HUG
“I failed you.” “You didn’t. Jack- he’s wonderful.” “Yeah.” CAN YALL HEAR ME SOBBING
Cas looks like he’s going to cry from pride in Jack. I can’t do this why did I think rewatching this ep was a good idea?
A moment of appreciation for how Cas lays out the facts of the situation and lets Jack make his own decision.
“He’s our kid!” Sam, I’m dead on the floor now. Thanks.
Lily, ily.
Cas is still so happy to see Dumah I’m so sad. Get Cas angel buddies pleaseeee he still loves them so much
Erica Cerra is TERRIFYING as the Empty go off queen
Cas and Kelly being protective of their son
“Take me, in his stead. Take me.” First time I’m watching this without crying. Personal growth, I guess
Cas is so scared of dying and the Empty and yet he’d go for Jack in a heartbeat. I can’t do this anymore
“Why did you do that?” “Because I made a promise. And because I love you, Jack.” CRYING IN THE CLUB
Again, Cas laying out the situation and waiting for Jack to make his own choice. Bless him.
“I won’t tell them. I promise.” Jack HONEY
Kelly and Jack’s goodbye... like she’s sending him off to school... I can’t DO THIS
FACE SQUISH
Is Jack fluent in Enochian, or did they write out pronunciations for him?
Sam is rubbing Jack’s arm to comfort him I’m SOFT
I do love this Dean and Jack hug. Jack’s lil smile. Bless.
Robbed of a Sam and Jack hug, but they’re still so soft. I can feel the love oozing from Sam so much rn
Awww I’m so glad Lily gets to be with her daughter now
Is Jack wearing Dean’s robe?
CAS’S FACE WATCHING JACK I CAN’T
SAM’S FACE TOO HOLY
IM DECEASED
I love the way the camera just pulled away at the end after they toasted. Happy family.
Anyway 10/10 episode. It hurts but it slaps.
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13x05 watching notes
I’m not used to getting what I want.
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Expectations: holy crap am I excited to see Billie again. Yeah yeah Cas or whatever, we know he's back and would be coming back from the moment he died, and all the rest is just flavour text... BILLIE is an utter treat and given A: how she died (not just dead reaper killed off for man pain as a minor thematic antagonist, but also woman of colour on the show which was a bummer and at least she alters their post-death appearances dismal stats even if she isn't back-back as her full and healthy self a la Cas as a worst case scenario >.>) and B: the themes she embodied, and C: that Cas just got punted back OUT of the Empty, well, I am ridiculously pumped to have her (or the image of her >.>) around again, because of the utterly fascinating thematic conundrum she'll represent and because Billie was the most freakin awesome character ever, and Lisa Berry just exudes this raw calm power, and I went and watched Shadowhunters over hiatus 90% because she was on it in like 3 episodes and lo and behold she was a powerhouse in her scenes there too :P
Of course I have a personal stake too and as a meta writer it's not quite so obvious, as a shitposter you might have caught me endlessly referring to it, and as me personally inside my head, I know that I introduced Billie to Terrible Coffee AU to be a side character to the drama, meaning to embroil her in it as a voice of amused-warning-to-later-friend for Cas, and began constructing an entire narrative to explore cosmic consequences in as if post-death the show's Billie had wandered over to my silly AU and was using her extreme disappointment in them all to add another level of irony to the characterisation (listen: imagining what face the canon character would make at their role in your AU is a great way to characterise and people think I'm good at it, so free writing tip :P) and I had to make Billie proud about what I wrought. 
I failed to actually write that section in time for this episode, had no idea there WAS an expiry date and that Billie would come back, but here we are and I've accidentally over-thought Billie to an absolutely astronomically disproportionate degree to probably most people around these parts for the sake of having her tease Cas about Dean from the deck of a boat while they were sipping cocktails together. :P
I can and will mentally insert a cocktail into Billie's hand in her scene(s).
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OH AND THEN THROW IN THAT THIS IS A YOCKEY EPISODE. Of all the current writers, he's the one who makes me lose my chill completely. He's got an incredible way with character and emotion which I absolutely adore, so I find it pretty hard to worry about all the nervous little things I worry about aside from how much the grand scheme of things will let Billie back. And season 13 seems to be going pretty in my favour as a viewer and meta writer so. Super sublime chill.
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Oh boy the recap people are trying to put us out of a job.
Superimposing Dean's speech to Patience over Sam crying over Dean nearly dying in 2x01 and ghost!Dean lurking behind him, which of all the reminders that they die a lot is a... lot of a thing. Because John etc. Season 2 theeemes everywhere. And then of course them getting shot as ghosts in 4x15 aka time to save Tessa. And Dean wasn't having an easier time in that episode, hell-damaged and talking to Tessa about how he wished he'd gone with her. Could just be subtle reaper reminders because the next shot is Sam detoxing demon blood in 4x21, nudging us into new territory for Jack theeemes. But that's part of the "pain" in his speech, "horror" is Dean hilariously dying in 3x11 when hit by a car, which, well, wasn't hilarious at all for Sam or the rest of that episode for us once the dying montage was over, and just reminds us how much they're dicked around with by the universe... And then "Death." Over. Death's hand.
Look, I am a simple person with simple wants. I would have been satisfied to just have this about Billie but now you're making me want to see DEATH again and see what the heck happened with him. I mean I've always sort of wanted to see him back again because if Billie would be pissed at them... :P But I could accept she was his stand in from now on. That she WAS the new Death all along, even, for our wild spec. Now I am MADLY excited about how they're going to utilise all this stuff because oh hi have you met me the reapers and death stuff is my absolute favourite stuff on the show. I was always hoping this wasn't going to be a cop out with the tasty sounding title, and it seems like they want us to really be on the ball about the themes here, to whatever end.
(Just having paused it to squeal here, it could be a fake out about Death because the first shot of him in his killer intro montage was his hand with his ring because in season 5 that was the cue we needed to know that was the ring we needed and that Death was who he was supposed to be... Logic dictates the ring crumbled in 10x23 but if they wanted to invoke Death without bringing Julian back...)
Weeeeeeeehheeheheheheeee Death's "affront to the balance of the universe" speech in 6x11 where he was resentfully giving Sam's soul back on one condition... The same thing Billie was pissed about in 11x02 onwards. Is he here to cover for her reappearance and make this seem like it's all just a big cosmic theme? Because something tells me this episode is about their deaths somehow or another, either temporary, threatened, or big picture :P
Or it's confirming that Billie is Death, there's always that because the next transition is Dean killing Death to Billie LITERALLY CONTINUING DEATH'S SENTENCE FROM 6x11 - "you cause disruption on a global scale -- so next time you die and your brother bite it, we're going to toss you out into the Empty."
"And *nothing* comes back from that" *stab*
Leaving it there with Cas - no cutting to him back alive in the bramble patch. Instead the last note, the only one ABOUT the Winchesters in season 13 aside from Dean's 13x03 speech being used - is Dean saying Sam needs to keep the faith for him, which was the comment only answered in dramatic irony by Cas's return. No comment on the dominoes of Cas stabbing Billie, getting stabbed himself, going to the Empty, and coming back from that. No comment on the deal. This is all stuff we're either meant to know already or isn't strictly relevant right now... But we'll see :P
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Sort of scared to play the cold open because eye horror in the promo pics and I don't wanna see the doctor drill some random person of the week through the eyeball :P
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Oh no, it's kids. I think they're still alive because of the promo where they refer to talking to some kids. Or one of them with the implication both made it out the house although I assume their time is numbered regardless.
They're visiting a house which used to be a mental health clinic, which has weird overlap to last episode and the fact the guys went to a fully functioning house with a modern day therapist in it. Mel pointed out the Asylum direct visual reference in one of the props we see in the fast promo so I suppose that's a good season 1 reference to keep in the back of your head.
The floppy haired kid with the backpack (aka the Jack mirror?) is more uncertain about doing this but encouraged by his friend to go along with it. His friend is a dick.
I hope someone's had a good look at the stained glass window because I can't tell if we've seen it before or not. This may or may not be set re-use >.>
You can tell the boys apart because one is half battery (the dick) and one has full battery still (our sympathetic guy)
Don't touch the plague masks!!!!
Literally that was your entire fault and at least the one we were rooting for legged it with a minor wound. I think even some other ghosts were yelling at them for waking up the doctor (I HOPE that's not a parallel to The Empty and Cas waking him up)
But yet... sam and dean seem to have visited both? Was it only "minor" brain drilling and the other kid comes back home slightly altered? Mel also made promo shot comparisons to Naomi and her drilling... Brrrr.
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Anyway Dean is making himself PB&J so I don't have time for you all. Ouch.
Did Sam literally just compliment Dean for making himself a sandwich?
is it a recovery sandwich?
I get the feeling if we're seeing this and the promo was a lil later on and some investigating further into the episode then maybe we're basically seeing Dean's breaking point for being babied through his grief by Sam's attempts to cheer him up.
Makes you wonder why they picked that instead of this, but this could be a relatively dull opener and Sam trying to talk Dean into going to a strip club was too funny to resist, because it kind of was :P
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Sam has been on screen 6 seconds and he's annoyingly peppy
I love Sam btw, like, you are not allowed to judge me for how I may talk about Sam in the coming stretch of episode because I get the sense he's in full on cheer up mode, which turns anyone into the most irritating person on the planet and then you throw in Sam's eyebrows and basically I can't with him :P It's not a judgement on his character, I know he's trying to help Dean because of what Dean told him, but Dean just wants to operate a shell of himself for a while and Sam's trying to dig him out of it because it's painful to see him like that and he doesn't know that Cas is reconnecting with them soon, and if not today then next week and also probably by the second half of the season Mary will be back with them.
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Anyway Dean just carries on stoically making his sandwich and we all talk a lot about the symbolism... I think in this context perhaps it's loosely linked to Kevin operating as a ghost out of this kitchen after dying halfway through his PB&J and coming back for the crusts as unfinished business. He was mourning his mom while he was alive but then it turned out she was alive but too late he was dead.
The PB&J is also symbolic of humanity so idk. He could just be making it because it's sweet and he has a sweet tooth, it's vaguely reminiscent of pie filling but not enough to be traumatic and it's Dean's "I'm doing 1 good thing for myself today" personal quiet method of getting better in the long slow aftermath that Sam wants to rush.
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"GET THIS" Sam is on full on Sam-ing
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Awww Jack's watching DVDs. I assume Sam HAVING a stash of DVDs is stuff he's collected as an adult with a Bunker to go on a nostalgia kick. I assume they have a PO Box pretty much for Sam's Amazon deliveries. Like, he hasn't been lugging DVDs around with him since the start of the show and before that they had a bunch of VHS tapes in the back of the car or something :P They grew up dependant on what was on motel TVs and picked what they liked to come back to as adults with a settled address.
Also: the clouds part and bestow on us: a thing Sam likes!!!! That's like at least 4 songs, a couple of movies including Star Wars stuff, HP Lovecraft, and now liking old bad fantasy movies that even Dean judges him for.
Or, I assume, Dean has watched and may or may not reference if the opportunity came up but he needs to box something off as Sam's weird nerd shit that makes him unappealing to the ladies, while Dean, obviously, has never liked anything nerdy, and has had lots of straight edge manly sex with women and all comments about Zorro masks are stricken from the record.
Sam, being in a magnanimous, my brother is grieving, mood, just literally takes the hit and keeps going. Jesus Christ Sammy.  
I would swear he's worn his worst plaid today just to give Dean something else to judge him for :P
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Oh uh anyway point is Jack is being stashed in the Bunker just like Sam once stashed Cas with his netflix. Sam's being responsible for the pop culture education of 2 generations. At least Netflix lets you pick whatever you want once Sam's not trying to be helpful, and in 11x06 Dean related to Cas to switching to bad TV, rather than watching Sam's picks of the good stuff you're meant to watch.
Less chance of Jack going on a complete rampage through trash TV, but still if nothing else Dean's hands-off approach to the kid means that Sam is being allowed to mould him however he likes :P
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I just went back and watched again just because I realised the credits were ALREADY over after 5 names. It was like, J2, Misha (yay!) and 2 people I hadn't heard of who I assume are too important named characters in this episode to skip but also not reoccurring characters. I wonder what the slippery slope is when you don't put Lisa Berry's name in the credits of an episode you've advertised she's in. Even people who've checked on TV guides will know... But I guess you treat the episode as internally self-spoiling and ignore what everyone knows for the sake of the person who buys the DVDs and watches through without even reading the descriptions in the sleeve or whatever. Anyway glad she wasn't spoiled but it does make me like *itchy teeth* about Death being in the recap, because naaah. Naaaaaaah. NAAAAAAAH. they wouldn't. they're not. it isn't. She's making like, a hallucinatory cameo for theeeemes and I got to stick with that until the episode proves me wrong, never mind bringing Death back :P
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As a fan of Death and the reapers (probably already a band name) I'm like... so on edge right now :P
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Oh wait also Dean said "what about Jack" - he's using his name even to Sam now. Not teasing him about the anti-christ
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Ya know, based on how beer for breakfast (name of my band) went over and letting Dean be Agent Page (oh the promo is so the breaking point - Dean already is calling him out on all this IN THE TEXT, using his words to point out the weirdness) I am actually thinking that Dean would have actually quite liked to go on another job with Jack. That he was starting to see the use of him and to warm up to him ever so slightly as a person since he showed effort and did a good job and saved Sam and dug the graves for them. I don't think Dean would ASK out loud but if Sam had said, "Jack comes and that's final" Dean would have done that face shrug expression and let it happen without much complaint.
Sam is bending to Dean's apparent desires and being like, well Dean doesn't like Jack, this could be a chance to get Dean out of the bunker without Jack and let him forget all his troubles for a bit...
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Like, I don't wanna worry you Sam, but last time you decided you needed to cheer Dean up from his extra super special worries about Cas, you took him out into the woods for a fun werewolf hunt, got shot and strangled and had to kill literally every single werewolf in the episode with your bare hands while bleeding profusely from your stomach, while Dean had a random encounter with Billie in the depths of utter despair that he'd lost everyone he ever loved and the world was now going to end without you all.
Dean's a drama queen about a lot of stuff but when he tells Jack your plans don't usually work out, this is the sort of shit he's referring to :P
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*Sam looks so freakin smug with himself walking off after the badge exchange and Dean's like... what. What?*
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Poor kid with his great big bandage on his forehead.
He "can't even talk" because the trauma was so bad and we cut to him apparently drawing in his room, which makes me think right back to 1x03.
Omg lol of course Dean walks in the door alone to chat to him. And sees him drawing repeatedly the MotW. We bonding over trauma so bad we can't even talk about it again?
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OH there's 3 boys. Shaun/Sean (I'm gonna pick Shaun because this is America and I assume you all don't spell stuff proper - FYI to Americans reading this, please remember to read this all in a shrill British accent, what what) and Evan who was presumably the one who died in the cold open, and Mike is the third, who they're inseparable from but was NOT there in the house with them that night, and by nightfall at the promo scene they had not spoke to him yet.
What a frikkin rug pull though, to have 2 boys in the open, so you think they're a duo of best friends, and it's like NO WAIT THEY COME IN THREES... Bahahahaha
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Dean back upstairs with Shaun, and he's sat down to talk to him with a "you know" and at this point I am pausing and getting a stuffed toy because he's either gonna open up to a kid who won't squeal about it because he can’t talk, or say something completely awful because he's in an awful place and either way I don't need Emotional Honesty Hour from Dean Winchester at 9:30 in the morning without a friend :P
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On no, Dean talking about knowing what it's like to be scared of monsters, but then trying to reassure the kid that he can at least make it go away PHYSICALLY even if the horrific psychological trauma can't be erased. Comforting!!
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Promo sceeene!
Which we already picked over but aw yeah so Shaun didn't tell Dean anything after all, except for the plague doctor drawings (and he didn't show he had the mask with him? Really?? Did he drop it earlier?) so Dean really did just open up to the kid about understanding his pain but being the thing monsters are scared of... A better Dean pep talk than Patience got at least, since Shaun was a regular victim and Patience might have been angling to join the life... and it mostly just served to make him say that :P
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Since I've been barrelling through all the Wayward Sisters old episodes this month, I am reminded that I spent a good long while wallowing in Yockey vs Sam knowing Dean's porn habits and outing them to Jody in 12x06... 
I think Sam trying to make the sacrifice to go to a strip club with Dean (and I can't believe this is the third time I'm putting myself through watching this exchange because omg second hand awfulness and yet I went back and watched it twice it was so good) probably fits under this characterisation umbrella. 
Of Sam vs performing Dean, as much as the callbacks to season 1 and Dean vs Sam's Jess grief that I was talking about last night thanks to an anon nudge. And parallels to 12x16 and their chat about the swimming pool outside a similar hotel set (although this one is infinitely lower rate :P) - the writers playing with the knowledge that Sam and Dean have grown up completely latched onto each other like this and Sam's been dragged to strip clubs by Dean almost certainly and they just kinda know more than they want to about the other's personal habits, and they have low, bad boundaries. 12x16 was asserting some back, letting them have separate rooms, and showing Sam grossed out by the thought of Dean skinny dipping which, I mean, fair (if you're Sam anyway :P) but they don't really GET those boundaries. 
So there's some re-poking season 12 specific themes here as well, just in that Sam, who has historically had his own walls up about Dean's porn and interest in strip clubs (because they're extremely not his thing) is willing to cross a line for Dean and just go with Dean to a strip club and buy him a lap dance from a place with a decent online review. Which also shows low bad boundaries that he would try and manipulate Dean back to happiness this way, just like in 1x19 especially, Sam had to angrily re-assert his boundaries about Dean constantly trying to set him up with Sarah, and Dean had to point out he has a stake in Sam's sex life too, even if it's just having to put up with Sam being cranky and miserable. Historically, Sam having to put up with Dean's sex life is considerably more on the "ugh, TMI" range for him :P
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... sorry, yelling "promo scene!!" usually means I stop analysing for a moment and just watch, because I already went over this ground last night, but I guess there's more untapped depths :P
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Holy shit, though in the reaction shots for Dean after talking about the Clam Diver, he's standing with his back to some stuff that on my screen makes a beautiful bi flag. What the hell. I was thinking how colourful the backdrop was last night but...
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I mean that's the blurry background to his close ups on this.
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I THINK it's just the road lit up behind him but oh gosh getting it in the background of the shot for THIS conversation about the Clam Diver? GUYS what are you DOING. 
Who directed this??
I overshot and landed on "how you ever got laid" "heh, tell me about it" I can't BELIEVE, STILL that Sam just gave him that win. For some reason it reminds me of Swap Meat where he judges Gary for being a virgin based on the Star Wars stuff, even though Sam is an established Star Wars nerd of more than the general audience variety, and mostly likely read the old tie in novels :P Sam owning that his nerdy interests as a teen didn't exactly make him very sexy is probably the most frank thing he's ever admitted to Dean and he's just trying to help Dean. 
(Tbh, again, it may have helped Dean more if Sam just reacted all prickly and got wound up, which is generally what someone teasing wants - a reaction, not rolling over and showing your tummy. Anyway more on the pile of Yockey probing their sex lives in relation to how they see each other, with Sam letting Dean be the one with the more manly sexy interests and letting the performing Dean layer that all comes from win, and then trying to pander to it some more by looking up places to make Dean feel even more manly and in control)
And holy crap I'm glad I have no yoga today because Yockey's got me talking in loops and I've been back to this conversation in the kitchen 3 times and it's nearly 10am and I've made such bad progress. Mental contortions instead :P
Ooooh directed by John Showalter. I'm pretty sure he's been around for aaaages and contributed more than his fair share of nonsense... :P
I just looked him up on the superwiki, saw he directed the episode with HP Lovecraft (and that ridiculous "I was busy having sex with women" or whatever line about Dean not reading the novels) and basically I am gonna hit the brakes on this thought and just watch the episode or I'm going down a rabbit hole I don't come back from until 11am :P
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Oh but the thing I was trying to confirm was... Not that I knew I was looking for it except in the most abstract sense that I was thinking of it in one hand and thinking maybe there was something by this director in the other without realising it was the same hand... the blue & red light falling on Dean in 10x16 which looks an awful lot like the bi flag and shortly preceded Dean confessing all that delicious confessional stuff?
Yeah guess which director according to Superwiki.
Now i'm done.
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I want to know what metric The Clam Diver got "four and a half" of on whatever site Sam was reading about it.
That's in Sam's browser history.
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"Is it my birthday? Did I win a bet that I don't know about??"
"I'm just trying to be nice."
"W h y."
"Because..... you know why."
"I'm f i n e."
Sam, back off, he's gonna stab you :P
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I got to ask... is the automatic door not working an improv because the door broke, or thematically relevant, because that's the sort of random thematically relevant detail I could have a nerdgasm about for absolutely hours of typing while Sam is harassing Dean into the building talking about him not believing in anything. The higher powers aren't doing shit for Dean even when he waves at where he thinks the sensor should be, so he gives up and just opens the damn door himself.
The door has a sticker that says, quite clearly, "warning automatic door" and at the very least for the shortsighted is a great big yellow warning sticker on it, so I'm gonna have to go that they're signposting that it's supposed to open, so this is something either scripted or added with full intent to metaphor and my brain hurts.
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Sam is trying to understand this massive great big VOID of misunderstanding and it's... frankly awful. He's babbling about his understanding about Dean and his confusion
"You're not, Dean. you said you don't believe in anything, and that's not true! you-you-you do believe in things, you believe in people, that's who you *are*, that's what you DO. I know you're in a dark place and I just want to *help*"
This is telling us a lot more about how Sam sees Dean than Dean's faith arc. Of course Dean believes in people and saving people and that the planet is worth saving. That's a baseline assumption around here. Dean and *faith* though, in believing in things, in how the universe treats them... it doesn't even open automatic doors for them. Cas is DEAD. Cas is where Dean's belief arc centred in the last minute of 4x01 and Cas is where it has freakin' remained for the next 9 years. Cas lost faith in God and Dean chucked away the amulet because he lost faith in everything - Cas and Sam and himself and their ability to save the world that didn’t want to be saved. Cas became God and Dean lost all hope he may have had left. Cas came BACK to Dean and his faith was restored but in THEM. GOD came back and Dean and Cas had similar and unchanging positions on it right down to Chuck basically telling Dean not to confuse him with his own father, but the ridiculous superimposing over John over Chuck and Chuck as Cas's failed father who Cas now just ignores outright and Dean lashes out on his behalf because he knows Cas doesn't believe. That Chuck broke Cas back in 5x16 and... Yeah. Cas is gone now and what does Dean even have left in his personal faith? Chuck didn't answer, the automatic door won't open even when he waves at it...
Sam sees Dean as having no faith in God (while Sam has had the much more complicated journey there with his personal faith, and feeling it in a religious way) but instead he tries to get a read on Dean's personal compass, and god dammit Yockey *takes a shot* in Wendigo of course Dean sits down with Sam and tells him HIS personal philosophy on why he does what he does: saving people, hunting things, the family business. The thing is, Dean has already in this episode reached out to Shaun and described himself and Sam as the people who know about the monsters, the ones who can't erase the trauma but they can erase the monster, and help what little they can there... Save *other people* from it - yeah it's a message full of regret and defeat that Shaun already got hurt and that's probably why Dean couldn't get him to open up because he didn't come in bubbling with wide-eyed optimism about saving the day, but heavy eyes that had seen this too much. But oh does he still care about the people, and saving them. He just doesn’t trust what HE can do, what they can do against the tide of awful. It's not in his speech to Patience, because it's not the motivation to be a superhero any more - he is just a guy doing a job. And he's lost his heart in many ways. But he will still fight to protect and help people because baseline, Sam is right, that IS Dean and even damaged like this he'll go on hunts and protect people. Take Jack into the Bunker with them in 13x01 expecting it to be a self-destruct thing where base case scenario they can take Jack out with them or something and contain the blast...
But yeah. 13x04 expressly ended linking Dean's lack of faith, via dramatic cast-iron irony, to Cas coming back as Dean voices what losing Cas has done to him.
And then Dean gets to say his bit -
"We've been down this road before, and I've fought my way back and I'll fight my way back again" which HONESTLY echoes Cas in the Empty telling his depression to stuff it and that he'll fight and fight for eternity if he has to.
Dean is trying to get better, he made himself a PB&J, he's just taking this all at his own pace, and Sam's starting to smother him.
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"How?"
"Same way I always do: bullets, bacon and booze." Dean regrets his no bumper sticker policy because that and the "whole bottle of Jack" comment from last episode are both iconic Dean talking about his coping methods out loud way.
Also throws back to 10x11 and how Dean did that list of 3 things which he was getting back to when he lost the Mark and left a blank space which should have been "babes" or something and just put more booze into it. The swap of sex for food happens a LOT with Dean. For some reason the Dean vs cake explanation I wrote recently was floating around tumblr again last night, in which the middle of season 10 conveyed clearly that cake was stuff Dean hadn't tried yet (and 10x16's confession tied it all together - we're really delving deep into the stuff that was explored back then and I've thankfully been in fandom for so have the language down really well but I hope I don't have to explain this entire complicated web over and over later :P) and pie was coping methods heterosexual sex with women - tying what Dean wanted in 10x07 in the hook up he didn't get, to pie in 10x13 via that gross dating app... All this with the cake, croissookies, and that comment in 10x11 where Dean was trying to detox and eating egg white omlettes (hi 12x18) and cutting out booze.
And, of course, there's the whole bacon = bisexual experimentation thing from 8x13, 9x13, 11x21, and I guess now :P Cass had a much more thorough bacon masterpost somewhere out there which I may have to dig out and reblog with a knowing look...
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And Dean slams his hand down on the bell to punctuate this statement and hopefully bring an end to the conversation by summoning a hotel receptionist.
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Cue screaming kid having nightmares about what he's seen.
His mom kisses him on his forehead where the doctor drilled him, and leaves the door open so she can be concerned about him.
Oh no, his backpack DOES have the mask in it. Dr Monsterface used it to get to him :<
(Oh wait hi yes that thing Jody said about the Dr Sexy leviathan in 7x02 is still fresh in my mind. Leviathans as a depression metaphor in a way The Empty rapidly escalated.)
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I saw/maybe reblogged a post about how Jack might have Kelly used against him and 13x04 was the nice version, but he's going around carrying his grief about her in a backpack. We have to hope like hell Mia gave him catharsis enough or he might carry that grief with him and things can use her image to get into his head.
(That and the 2x "shoot him!" order about Dean from Miriam and Buddy to the sheriff and Mia, 2 people who wanted to help, are causing foreshadowing concerns)
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I love the cuts between the doctor coming for Shaun, though - the bell ending one conversation to Shaun waking up screaming, and then he gets up and pretty much goes to confront the doctor head on rather than cower - but cut to an empty bed.
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Dean's empty bed, but he seems to have left the keys?
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Ah, he went and had some, uh, catharsis somewhere. I swear to god those are probably the sunglasses from 1x19 dug up again and stuck on his head just to haunt Sam.
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The fact his tie is tied around his head makes me feel like he was probably blindfolded at some point in all that... Hehehe. I doubt his tie is tied so nicely around his head with a pretty bow because he did it to look cool :P It would just be the same knot but on his head in that way.
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Sam's like "oh great" but doesn't kick Dean awake? Like on a normal day when dumping a glass of water on his face and telling him to suck it up would be the correct thing, Sam's like, "Sam's got this!" goes and gets dressed, takes the keys, and leaves Dean passed out on the floor. In 1x19 he hit the horn to wake Dean up because serves you right.
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(if he only went to a strip club he may have just made off with someone's underwear thrown on him for being a good tipper rather than actually having sex with anyone... I kinda doubt if he was THAT drunk he'd be more than a very generous customer they don't mind kicking him out at closing with a bra still on his head :P)
(I'm gonna assume Dean did not actually have sex but just went out and had some very drunk miserable fun and made a friend last night and now he's gonna be dependant on Sam for cash for a while until he can scrounge some back up :P)
Also, um, what is he holding when he rolls over? Is that a fun kinky times toy whip? Exactly what sort of place did he find last night, and please, for the love of god, tell me it was not the place Sam was diligently reading the reviews for between his fingers yesterday, apparently.
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Listen say whatever you want about the fact he walked home holding it, if that boy had his tie tied around his eyes he was not the one holding it while he was having fun :P
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I like Mike. He's a burly farm worker hefting hay outdoors in the sun, which makes him like 3 different directions of Cas parallel (the strong one in the dynamic, sun, hay), and also he was sensible enough not to be running around in a haunted house for youtube hits.
...
Look, at some point Cas hefted a bunch of hay out of the back of his truck and onto the side of the road and that happened in canon and no one ever mentioned it
thank you Yockey for acknowledging off-screen hay hefting.
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Aw no he's lying because he's scared and Sam makes him tell the truth and it's that he WAS scared and he thinks not going to the house was cowardly, but now his friends are missing and hurt (so far as they know because Shaun getting killed overnight might not have made it to them yet)... He does tell the truth in the end. He's also in DEEP denial about their deaths.
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Is that enough bacon, Dean.
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No, no it is not.
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Sam, you're gonna kill him if you give him more beer right now. Is he smuggling local ales to Dean?
I don't think I can actually watch Dean eat this entire pile of bacon with Dean's bad mood eating habits. This pause is just to procrastinate dealing with that.
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Wait also the friend is called "Mike" which, uh... Michael? is a thing we should be more worried about? What happened to that guy anyway?
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Man, we're 16 minutes in and where's Billie?
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I feel like Dean being hung over for the rest of this case is probably not going to help with him getting caught and threatened with a drill by a regular old ghostie.
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I'm snooping Sam's tablet before he delivers the cliff notes exposition, and aside from the creepy images at the top, including an old school newspaper article in the top image results that is illegibly small, but seems to have photos of the doc alive, the first and only legible article mentions a woman with depression who goes to the doc because she had depression because her son drowned... Which makes 2 son drowning deaths in 2 episodes, with the kid in 13x04 who killed his mom in the car. Also reminds me of 7x14 where when Dean confronts the guy behind all the nightmares, it's because his little brother drowned in the sea and he could never let go of that guilt. 
I think drowning is the metaphor for depression here - people losing a part of themselves metaphoric to small son, who is overwhelmed in the water... Dean related to that loss and used it against the Plucky's guy, and that was in the slight turn around section of season 7 - the part where he began confronting the loss of Cas through mirrors because of course Cas was coming back. In season 13 the plan has been set in stone and can be done briefly and with HEAVY dramatic irony that we're all aware of because we only actually have 1 episode without Cas so far, even if 1 was his death and one was his waking up, he's surrounding Dean's grief in a layer of dramatic irony. Dean may be overwhelmed and drowning. We may have SEEN the memory of Cas drowning in the Empty, but it's all done with dramatic irony, that Cas is not lost to Dean but presumably finding his way back.
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Dean had better not puke at the grieving mother's house after all that bacon and beer for breakfast after a hard night out.
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I love the cut between Sam asking what happened in one scene and the woman saying "I don't know" in the next - there's some good thematic transitions I've noticed already, especially this way of skipping exposition here, but I liked Dean ringing the bell for the hotel and Shaun waking up screaming, because Dean was about to go out on his grief metaphor night out and for all I know get the sexy kind of drilled while Shaun was getting the unsexy kind... and then the cut to Dean's empty bed, because this is how bad his grief was hurting him.
(Also after Sam tried to control and placate Dean's grief, he resisted Sam's attempts to smother him but he still has been accepting the offers, and did eventually go out and get wasted and Sam had encouraged it - just Dean did it on his terms and without Sam, just his tacit approval that Sam wouldn't bitch about it.)
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ALSO WOW AFTER 13 YEARS YOCKEY FINDS A WAY TO SUBTLY WORK IN THE COLD SPOTS FOR GHOSTS.
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LOOK HOW INTELLIGENT THAT MAKES OUR BOYS LOOK WHEN THEY READ THE SUBTEXT OF A SCENE FROM A SURFACE READ OF SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT GHOSTS BUT IDENTIFIED THE SIGNS AND THE PEOPLE WHO KNEW WHAT TO LOOK FOR COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING WITHOUT HER SAYING IT AND NOW THEY KNOW EVERYTHING JUST FROM INFERRING IT
WOW
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Night time and they go to the house and we're at 18 minutes in. I mean we have time for a jump scare, some bad shit to happen, and then the ad break before pt.2 of the episode.
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Buzz buzz
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"What's up, doc?"
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*ad break*
*back to Dean getting drilled*
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Sam saves him and on with pt.2 of the episode.
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All the masks are back in place.
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Oops, don't touch the masks. *horrible screaming from elsewhere in the house*
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Well, except to burn them. Sensible to stay in the room, defend their turf, and get to the burning asap instead of poking around or investigating the screaming any more. 13 years and they have learned a fair amount about ghosts and I am admiring how competent they are. Sam especially has the lead here, probs because Dean is off his game by an enormous degree to him.
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Ahahah and Sam did a round circle at the door so we see the doc get partway through the door, realise there's salt, and have to awkwardly back out of it to have a second go and honestly that is the funniest shit a ghost has ever done on this show even though it's also terrifying :P
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*burn burn burn*
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So rescue Shaun?
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What can possibly happen next with nearly 20 minutes left
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LIGHTS BLOWING DOWN A HALLL
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Now they dealt with the advertised ghost I'm just waiting for Billie to show up, because they're about to be mobbed by a ton of ghosts and she can save their asses, or else... well idk I have to watch, but I'm just laughing because of lights blowing down a hall - 3 times already this season, for Jack, for Patience at least with them flickering rather than exploding like this...
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These are all the whispers about the doctor which we heard in the cold open
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I love the Winchesters running around shouting sensible ideas about what the ghosts are doing though.
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Is this going to be Dean's torch everything solution?
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YIKES, no, it's 4x15/11x17. BAD IDEA, DEAN. i can't believe he even carries a pre-prepared take me to the veil kit. Like, that's the reckless nothing to live for might as well die trying to do something dramatic toolkit. We also get shades of 11x16 with him doing that in a super haunted house.
You can NOT pass into the veil in a super haunted house with just your brother to watch over you and stop these 1000s of ghosts killing you.
Jesus Christ Dean.
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Wait is he literally doing this
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Sam is like FFUCKING HELL RIGHT HERE WITHOUT EVEN A SALT RING? ON THE FUCKING STAIRS UNDER THIS SYMBOLIC STAINED GLASS WINDOW THAT LIZZY DIDN'T ANALYSE EARLIER?
DEAAAAN
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And yeah this is 2x01 all over again with Dean walking down the stairs trying to get the attention of a ghost.
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Wait back up new reaper with a customer service calm grief counsellor voice, but what did she say her name was? :P
"Hello, my name is JESSICA and I'm here to lead you to your next life"
... well I hope she survives the episode just because I always root for the reapers and she's clearly just a random obstacle to Dean who is doing her job, a regular old part of the natural order, but that is not a name you use at random :P
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I'm just sitting here running my hands through my hair trying to deal with this right now. Gonna play a few rounds of Pokemon shuffle because I sort of knew this was coming since they showed 5x15 and 2x01 in the opening recap, but the way Dean did it and then walking immediately into a Jessica? Yeah I need a mo.
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Dean maybe never told Sam what he did in 11x17 because he didn't at the end of the episode and idk if that's one of those things you don't just bring up at the breakfast table.
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JESSICA.
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"Hi, I'm the spectre of the loss of the most important romantically loved loved one in your life, do you feel like moving on from them to the next thing"
"sorry I can't come to the phone"
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YOCKEY I AM DISTRESSED.
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Accidents don't happen accidentally.
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"Oh god."
She knows what she's got herself into.
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Sam takes 20 seconds to set his waych and sdakdfjgkl hang on who cares about Sam
WE'RE IN REAPER HQ
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"Dean Winchester is the the veil!"
Please say this whole thing goes to red alert.
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Where's his file. It it like 5000 times the size of all these little ones?
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Sam put down enough salt for Dean but not himself.
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I don't think that's ghosts blowing lights any more, I think that's emergency lightning from the cosmos.
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SHAUN! Oh no, you're dead :(
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At least he's talking again.
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Generally the freshest ghosts are the more talkative ones, and as Bobby showed us back in 7x19 which I generally try not to remember or rely on for ghost lore, because the older ones are fading and falling into patterns and the fresher ones still have a stronger sense of self and their old life.
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OH NO Shaun got possessed because of course that's how he got back here with the mask. I think we saw a smaller ghost in a t-shirt in some of the promo stuff, but I thought it was a kid, not a teenager.
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"I miss my mom" he's on the other side of the grief from Jack, who misses his mom because he's alive and she's dead. The doc said he'd feel better and he froze and let him kill him. Also Kevin parallels just of a kid whose most important relationship is his mom and now he's dead.
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Dean's thinking clearly for the first time in a while because he's not in his body. All soaked in alcohol and grief. He realises he let Shaun down by not being there to protect him. Which may have all happened this way in another episode, but that PB&J, man. It was a Kevin thing all along. (I SAID it was a Kevin thing and you all were like blah blah Cas blah blah Jack, look, don't doubt me on my Kevin knowledge, guys, I am still RAW about his death and it was 4 years ago :P) Dean's remembering in the middle of grief that it's "saving people hunting things" after he let Patience down with that speech. Or so I hope. They used Dean's speech over the open of the episode like in a season 1 episode they'd usually layer the more optimistic and simplistic "saving people hunting things" from Dean's like, second day on the job, not where he's all messed up and old.
Anyway Shaun is an emergency Kevin patched into his life to make him feel bad about failing people, and I guess that puts Dean at similar crossroads to the middle of season 9. Hopefully to a different end, just like this should be subverting 11x17 for why he just abruptly decided to cross into the veil, because Jessica is not having a good day :P
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DEAN GOING INTO THE VEIL TO HELP LOST PEOPLE is doubling up the job of a reaper. Reapers CAN'T COMMUNICATE across the veil to the living, and don't wanna solve the cases. They come to move on the one person with a ticket upstairs in a house full of hundreds of ghosts and just ignore them... Dean actively dives into their turf to solve the case and find out how to move the souls on. He SAYS he wants to help move the souls on.
I have such a huge love of Dean blurring the lines with being Death, and being a reaper. It's just such a symbolic thing. Their job is moving people on, basically handing souls to the reapers to carry on the job, when it's ghost cases. They're the human agents of the reapers breaking the ties that hold ghosts to the earth so that the whole process can carry on and the world doesn't fill up with ghosts - like it did when the veil was broken. (or is it still? Again, the whole Kevin thing not quiiiite answered, although maybe/maybe not that was a sign Chuck was fixing the thing... But then there were a whole bunch of souls Billie for for them out of the veil like 2 episodes later...)
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Reaper lore is fucked up on this show :P But Reaper HQ just in the first glimpse looked aaaawfuully empty adjacent...
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I'm guessing even though Dean's got back with the info he needs, and Sam's about to wake him up because the clock ran out, the reapers are going to intervene...
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WAKEY WAKEY DEAN
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Oh look Billie's back.
"Hey Dean"
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I haven't been this happy in about 1000 years. Like seriously Cas getting back was great and all but HOLY SHIT have you seen Billie? I would set this as my desktop immediately but my mum and Cat are both gonna have to watch this episode with me and probably see my desktop in the process, so... Saving a screencap for later ;)
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This is literally the best thing.
LOOK AT HER.
LOOK AT THAT SCYTHE. HOLY SHIIIT THAT SCYTHE.
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Billie's understated attitude is just *clenches fist*
She just shows up!! LOoking LIKE THIS!!!!
I don't even wanna hit play, I don't wanna move past this point, I just want to bask in this one image forever.
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THE COAT. NO one has shown up in a floor length leather coat in the entire show so far, because no one has been good enough for it.
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"We need to talk" Yeah no shit babe.
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LOL getting right to it - Dean like, Cas killed you. Billie like, "how's that working out for him?" - does she know? Either way, she's rubbing it in. Because of course she has eeeevery right to be pissed. :P
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UTTER GLEE.
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I have a sudden feeling... Billie says, "certain rules - after you kill one "incarnation" of Death" (Hey 1000 points to trisscar) "another one takes its place" and dude.
Death died and within 10 seconds Billie was singing "o Death" and following the Winchesters around, annoying them, making deals with them, making ultimatums with them... Like, the reapers aren't exactly itching to kill EACH OTHER and promote someone, and I guess just one biting the bullet and taking one for the team doesn't work... But this suddenly explains EVERYTHING about Billie getting all up in the business of the people who basically fuck up every deal and ally they make and hanging out with them... doesn't give you much of a life span.
Back in 12x06, Billie taunted Dean, made fun of him for not getting what he wants, and said she wanted something from him. Came to Mary and said she was there to reap her when she was ready. She LET Dean make another deal, a deal where one of his family would have to die, or he himself do it. In a car full of Winchesters, one of them is gonna take one for the team, or ruin everything and kill the reaper who's been bothering them, holds so much over them...
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I'm thinking very hard about changes of state right now - that Billie and Cas had mirrored deaths, and Billie came back improved, and Cas... Well, we don't know how he came back except he's been put on a better path, for his character narrative, in confronting and overcoming the symbolic depression, and he has a better coat. Not much to go on yet, and I haven't been participating in the wild flailing about all the ways he MAY have come back different, but this makes a veeery interesting mirror about returns and changes of state, upgrades after death. Now I'm interested in what may have happened to Cas.
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But, like, to a magnitude of difference to how utterly delighted I am that Billie won the game :P
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But yeah this is a bit of a lore fudge but who caaaares because it brings Billie back and powers her up and makes her into THE BEST CHARACTER ON THE SHOW IN A TOTALLY INARGUABLE WAY.
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I love her new ring :P
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"This universe can be so many things, and sometimes it is poetic."
Hell yeah it is Billie. I've been saying so for ages, but this really puts it in such a beautiful way. This is Dabb's entire job. He makes this universe *rhyme* with itself. This is what his mirrors and parallels and character repeats have been doing. I even compared scene transitions in 13x03 to the way poetry ends each line in a verse. It's something all the writers have been doing - making the story rhyme.
Gaaaaah. THIS is Dabb's writer meta commentary, perhaps. I think I can trust Yockey to spell it out this way :D
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She took him to Reaper HQ!!! Like Cas he's passing through states - I assume he'll be back in time to finish the hunt, but in the mean time... He's got to work through some shit, just like Cas did last episode. Rhyming with each other.
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Dean is wearing a black and grey plaid with thin red lines, and a black jacket. He's bringing like the only colour here to all the blackness.
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yeah, Billie, keep the scythe away from him.
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I love she set her desk up in the W section because even though it's not the middle of the alphabet, she's keeping a CLOSE FREAKING EYE on the Winchesters.
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Ooh she knows Dean went to the AU... She's interested in Jack. Dean's chance to protect him!!!???
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Billie looks INCREDIBLE how did I ever let myself talk myself into doubting she was here to run the game?
wait shit Dean's doing epic character stuff. Not bargaining with his life, or asking for Mary or Cas back. He just wants to complete the job and free the ghosts because freakin sshdfkjsjlks PB&J brought him back to his senses and he needs to save Kevin-stand-in rather than let him wallow in the veil for 3 seasons again
THAT is one heck of a thing, Dean. I love you so much
not as much as billie but it was a beautiful character moment
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Billie is STUNNED.
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Jessica gets to take all the ghosts back. She thought this was going to be a terrible day and it actually worked out.
Again, with like 10 minutes left of the episode so this isn't how it ends.
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Now Dean's talking about trust, and Billie brings up how they keep breaking cosmic bargains. I think he may be stalling - even planning to NOT give up Jack even though Billie went first... Or he's gonna tell her but... Natural order? She can't just go... kill him...
If Dean's still uncertain about Jack he could always make a query about IF she could kill him, but not give away enough, or have her as the weapon in his back pocket should Jack be a problem... something for him to regret later, maybe?
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This is stressful
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Dean spills. "Lucifer's son. Jack. When he was born it created a little rip."
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What does Billie know about the AU?
Well she knows how the multiverse works, and she knows a "big dumb Winchester" is fairly statistically likely to be the one to knock it all down.
The warning not to try and get Mary back? Now Cas is back? The consequences may still be on Mary, however she's returned to them, intentionally or not, she could topple it?
Ugh I hate spec but all these lines are so leading :P The comment that Sam's plans don't work out, in this light, for example, is realllly nerve-wracking. And we know from spoilers the AU is going to become a more immediate problem at some point...
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"That does sound like us."
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"You've changed." Billie reading Dean deeply and now we get to the character part of this where she's just... analysing him.
"The Dean I know and love" look I'm die hard Destiel to the bone but Dean x Death is something I've always thought the dynamic for was absolutely stunning since their first meeting, and I hate to say it but making Death into Billie is making it aaawfully tempting to ship :P
Please show him his massive folders.
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She's currently just calling him out on how bad he feels. Pure awful character exposition.
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"I don't matter." OH DEAN NO.
He and Cas totally rhyming with each other about their passing through these dark other worlds...
Dean couldn't save mom, he couldn't save Cas, he can't even save this kid... But he already saved the kid with that bargain with Billie, and Cas is... out there somewhere. And Mary is a whole other problem and the one he can't solve right now. If she's alive, she's on the other side of a wobbling house of cards he can't touch. But the difference in the way he gets finality on Mary vs the finality on Cas? 13x01 vs this episode as Dean slides from dealing with Cas to dealing with Mary? Getting this blunt exposition from Billie about it...
I think Billie would have thought it was funny to show Dean his file, but then realised because he's changed she needs a different approach to intimidate and interrogate him. She sees that he doesn't feel like a hero any more, not the guy who saves the world. All his crushing losses have made him feel like he's still utterly helpless to make anything good happen in his own life.
And Dean can't work through it, won't work through it, and he knows it - this is the thing that has broken him hardest... That at this point there will be NO recovery except the story handing back Cas to him, and even then that's one hell of a shake to what he believes he can accomplish... If they wanted to scare him back down from "i kill gods" Dean who then went and killed Death too, to show him the universe his huge, and keeps on ticking and his actions have put Billie in charge and the natural order keeps on ticking... But he still can't get mom and Cas back...
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I am literally sitting in that room in Alice in Wonderland where she's floating around on her tears.
I mean in my head, anyway :P
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My heart is broken.
Billie's "don't you?" though when Dean says he doesn't matter... I wonder what she knows that Dean doesn't :P
But Dean starts ranting to her about how Sam's been trying to help and he's useless... :(
"You really believe that. You want to die." Well, yeah the universe has become a crushing hard place where no one makes sense and Dean doesn't even believe in the blaze of glory death, doing something HEROIC now, let alone not believing in it because he thinks he deserves better and a happy ending at the end of this all...
Lowest point, unlocked! \o/
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Oh, ALL those notebooks are his individual deaths... How he dies. "heart attack. burned by a red-haired witch" HEY ROWENA
Are they potential deaths or ones still looming over him, disappearing as he passes those marks? Or are they his entire history of deaths not died?
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"Unfortunately, none of these books say you die today"
....
So are they potential future deaths or what?
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I mean, Billie just introduced hope to his life.
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"I stand witness to a much larger picture" they could not have picked a better character to be Death. She has such DEPTH and WEIGHT to the way she speaks, and such an amazing calm, powerful aura of energy. I just love her so so much.
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OH GOSH this camera angle with the scythe in the background behind Dean's face... Gotta save and remember to add that to this, because after telling him all the ways he dies, Billie moves onto his big picture cosmic weight. That he's important. And Dean has the scythe symbolically pointing at him as she talks, telling him he's at those crossroads of life and death but not today... Is this going to be a burden like the one Chuck laid on him, or Billie reminding him that a heroic life is not such a bad thing?
I really think this is one of the best episodes of the show and I got a few minutes left of it and don't know how this resolves :P
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SHE IS LITERALLY giving him the 4x01 Cas speech - "you have work to do" and telling him he's important, telling him he deserves to live... Kinda still like I hate you but you're important, and setting aside past grudges. There's more for him to do.
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"And trust me, having my eyes opened to the importance of any humans, especially Winchesters, is not a thrill." HA. yeah, she's an anti-Cas but she and Cas are literally bouncing off each other in the story anyway since he stabbed her and then got stabbed himself in turn.
Rhymes. Rules. Reason. Billie is the best character on the show and I love her.
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"So, you wanna die, but I say, keep living." "Hmm."
This is NOT the same as what happened with Cas - but he may not remember it - but it works in sort of mirrored ways. Cas utterly defeats the Empty with his will to live, may not remember it, and may have to piece his newfound will to live together himself in this new hopeful return to life. I hope. Dean has no will to live, and orders of work and purpose are just the way his life goes, the orders endlessly being placed on his head by every cosmically powerful figure... God, Death that time in 6x11, Billie now, JOHN every day of his life from aged 4 to 27 and then one final order to haunt Dean to his first grave...
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"I need to know. My mom" *wakey wakey*
Oh, and there's the so far missing hope. She can't lie to him and say Mary's dead, so she cuts him off in indecision and uncertainty, and THAT, unfortunately, is a massive step  up from where he was in total despair that there is no one he can save...
And Cas may very well be back in his life to give him the hope that it can be done again by the end of this episode... Aaaaaaaaaaaah.
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Anyway Dean goes wakey wakey at last and the house seems to be wrapped up, yay.
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there's exactly 5 minutes left, which is always the omen. :P
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Sam comforts Shaun's mom, and wanders through the scene, looking small in the chaos, to rejoin Dean at the car.
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And like in 11x17 Dean lies again.
Sam is too smart for that, chases it up when Dean tries to brush it off as luck, and says that when Dean says they talk about it later, it means they won't talk about it and it's Dean's way of shutting off a conversation from ever happening...
Sam calling out their communication issues? I am LIVING
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Dean glances at the mom, and is reminded that they do this job for a reason, that he bargained to save the souls of the children... Sold out the info about Jack for it...
"I saw Death. The Death."
*Sam does the eyebrows*
"He's dead"
"No she's not"
*EYEBROWS*
"it's billie"
And Dean goes on to even say that she wanted intel, and does Sam pick up on it?
... no he doesn't. He doens't ask or guess what it was...
Dean repeats the line about work to do, which is also, especially in the context of Sam and Dean talking, what they say in instances like for example 2x22 when Dean had just sold his soul for Sam, when they're about to go back to work with their regular job. The open the trunk of the car and look at their gear and announce they're going to go kick ass phrase. (Which, of course, in 4x01, Cas was subverting the context by saying it to Dean away from Sam, putting the burden on him - Billie at least made it about Sam and Dean both but that she was talking to Dean)
But they're sitting on the back of the car, keeping the trunk closed... Not moving on
And Dean starts talking about how he's not okay.
And how he always believed in what they did - saving people hunting things - that losing John or Bobby or people they cared about was a hit he could take for the higher purpose. Billie has just REMINDED him that he is bound to a higher purpose. But he's so lost, and he's lost people who he CAN'T lose. Mary and Cas at once is just TOO MUCH. It makes the universe cruel not poetic...
(I say, having it paused here but knowing Misha's in the credits again as an awful TEASE :P)
He just needs a WIN.
And he may just get one because he told 90% of the truth to Sam, conveyed exactly what was going on behind that line about not believing in anything from last episode, the power of which narratively brought back Cas because that was a huge step in his grief arc, to admit it. Now he's explaining it, telling Sam how badly it's all got to him...
Oh god where is Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas.
They're driving off and there's music, which... agh.
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drive drive drive sexy car
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Omg we're going back to the house... More grief on the mom for her son... Just really WALLOWING in how much loss hurts everyone, and even when the soul has moved on, that Dean got a win for their knowledge of the afterlife, that they know ghosts can go to a better place, the mom doesn't, she has lost Shaun and that's it for her. No closure, just pain.
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drive drive drive
Billie reading Dean's book
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I think Billie really has a huge interest in Dean... :P
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drive drive drive... Okay so Yockey is the new Robbie montage guy.
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Also Sam is asleep while Dean drives - this seems to parallel 12x20 where he was asleep and Dean checked his messages from Mary...
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Bring bring?
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BRING BRING.
Called that like a boss :3
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WHAT, NO "HELLO DEAN" ON THE PHONE?
FUCK YOU YOCKEY I TAKE IT ALL BACK I HATE THIS ENTIRE EPISODE
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I mean there probably was one under the music if that was Cas...
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Well this alley has that cross from 11x06, aka the start of Cas's depression arc, the one where Metatron was teasing him about a real life angel on camera...
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drive drive drive
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Cross reflected in the car
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Hey, bison sign
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Has he just been waiting at that phonebox for hours.
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I'll just wait here then... I'll wait for you...
Well that got fucking tied up with a fucking bow, from all the left over crap Robbie left lying around.
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God I don't even have anything to say... Cas waited. For Dean. Like the love ballad warned he would. Because he's Dean's real life angel, and Dean's win. It was FOR Dean. Dean's arc narratively brought Cas back into his life, but on Cas's side of the story they fully fleshed out the end of his depression arc and made Cas bring himself back on his own terms so it doesn't shove Cas into a subheading for Dean even when the bigger story is handing Cas on a plate back to Dean...
And that, my friends, was one hell of a fun game :P
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