#anyway i'm declaring this done because I'm tired of staring at it

[the-iron-orchid]

get bit idiot.jpg

Julian can get gnawed on, as a treat. (Part 1 of ???)

Details, tech notes, and link to 2k render under the cut!

skinnnnnnnnnnn

Mostly I just wanted to show off Julian's new and more detailed skin, now with faint freckles!

Every model has at least 6 individual sets of 4k resolution textures: face, head, torso, arms, legs, and eyes. Each of these sets has 4-6 maps for various channels of the skin shader. Sometimes I luck out and I can use a single set of texture resources, but more commonly I remix anywhere from 2-3 different sets to get what I want. Julian required 3 sets layered on each other, plus some custom detailing by hand. Sometimes u just gotta Skrunkle that Man

[ FULL 2K RENDER ]

#my art #julian devorak #the arcana julian #apprentice x julian #the arcana fan art #jinana aditya #spicy #he holdin on for dear life because his legs done gave out lmao #he's so fucking lorge compared to Jinana it kills me every time #tfw bf is 14 inches taller and probably twice ur weight or more #anyway i'm declaring this done because I'm tired of staring at it #and I have other stuff to get done!

[scarlet-ancunin]

We know that ian spends a lot of time in front of the computer and that can lead to migraines, and reader like a good friend who still hasn't declared offering a massage to the temples and kisses on the forehead.thanks

Sure buddy hehe for this one based off request fem reader x Ian (he/they/them)

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A Kiss Solves Everything

You were typing away on your computer finishing up your work before shutting it off. You got a text message from Ian a few minutes ago and looked at it smiling brightly.

You had a crush on Ian. He was the perfect one for you and you wanted them to be yours. But you were too shy to say anything anyways for you kept it to yourself.

Reading the text message Ian wanted you to come over to hang out since you both were free and Ian invites you more than his friends in the quantum leap project.

You sent a simply emoji ( 😜👌) to which they responded with 🤓✌️ and somehow that seemed accurate.

As you went there you got some Chinese food and snacks you both liked. You enter the room to see it was dark.

You had gotten there forty-five minutes later because of traffic and well, getting food but it was still early.

"Ian" you called out to which he groaned loudly you rushed to where you heard them and saw them laying on the couch with a thick blanket over their head. He had his glasses resting on the coffee table side.

"it kinda early to turn in don't you think?" you asked

Ian mumbles something along the lines of the head hurts. muffled by the covers over their head. you frown.

"oh man, I told you not to overdo it, Ian, why don't you listen" you took the covers off after turning off everything but made sure there was at least one dim light in the corner of the room.

they kept their eyes closed but you can clearly see he was in pain.

you placed your hand on their cheek and smiled lightly "what am i going to do with you."

must have been in the moment because you leaned down and kissed the top of their head before massaging it gently. either you mistook Ian for being drunk to pull that off or you didn't realize you had done it.

Ian was staring at you the whole time now surprised but at the same time thrilled. they closed their eyes after a while tired from you massaging his head and you smiled at them

"your lucky I'm in love with you" you said assuming he was asleep

"mm I am lucky"

your heart stopped right there. "w-wha"

The End hehe

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Taglist: @justaproudslytherpuff , @sherazyjade , @the-masked-scorpio , @sugakookieswithacupoftae16 , @happilydangerousworld , @harlekin6

#unhinged desire simp #quantum leap 2022 #quantum leap #quantum leap ian wright #ian wright headcanon #dr ian wright #ian wright #ian wright x y/n #ian wright x you #ian wright x reader #quantum leap ian wright x reader #mason alexander park

[thedarkestgreys]

My 5 Favorite Fics I've Ever Written

thank you @sarahcakes613 and you know this is going to be hard because we're both aware I'm not a fan of my own writing 👍🏻👍🏻

In No Particular Order!

since nothing has changed me quite like you - Star Wars Sequel Trilogy // Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren // rated T // 6 Chapters Complete // Sith Princess Kira Palpatine x Smuggler Turned Reluctant Jedi Ben Role Reversal AU

She smiles, a real, genuine thing that crinkles her eyes and nearly blinds him. Suddenly, it’s Rey back in front of him, finally. “You’re going to help me kill him, Ben, and then we can be done with all of this. The Sith, the Jedi. Everything.”

Ben grins back. “You’re serious.”

“I’m tired. Of war. Of missing you. Of being alone,” Rey tells him, tears welling up in her eyes as her voice cracks.

slow hands - Marvel Cinematic Universe - Eternals // Druig/Makkari // rated E // 11 Chapters Complete // Post Thanos Snap AU set prior to and during the events of Eternals (2021)

“Familiar?” Druig can’t help but needle at her, because he’s nothing if not a total asshole a majority of the time.

Makkari turns back at him with sad eyes. I’m sorry. She signs once, then twice, and she’s halfway through the motions a third time before he raises a hand to stop her.

“S’alright. You didn’t mean anything by it. For all you know, I would’ve made you leave.”

Makkari, the most beautiful, wonderful, understanding human to grace this earth just shakes her head at him as he tells her that.

No you wouldn’t have. You missed me.

Stages - Game of Thrones - ASOIAF // Jon Snow/Sansa Stark // rated E // 6 Chapters Complete // Book/Show Canon Hybrid AU Six Different Titles Sansa Stark Carries Over The Course Of Jon Snows Life

“What are you staring at my lord?” Sansa asks him when she finally takes notice of his insistent stare through her looking glass. Setting down her brush, she turns to look at him fully, a small smile playing on her pink lips.

“Just my wife.”

“Is that all I am then? Just your wife? Should not a king shower his bride in compliments? Rave about my wits and keen mind, declare that I am the most beautiful lady in the whole realm?” Sansa eyebrows arch with a certain grace, a smirk blooming on her lips before her words turn into high, tinkling laugh.

“I'm only the king before the court San, while sitting on that blasted throne or in an endless meeting with mine and Dany's councilors. In here, in our chambers, I simply wish to be your husband, and for you to be my wife. Let the courtiers speak about your wits and political prowess.” 

but the wolves came and went (and we're still standing) - Game of Thrones - ASOIAF // Podrick Payne/Arya Stark // rated M // 9/14 WIP // Season 7 & 8 rewrite told from the perspective of Podrick Payne

“Stay alive,” the woman who against all odds he’s come to love urges one last time. He jerks his head in the direction of his lady in explanation and farewell.

“Anything for you,” he says with as much sincerity as he can put behind his words, not taking the time to watch for her reaction, knowing that whatever it is could shatter him completely one way or the other.

Moments before a battle that will seal the fate of the entire world isn’t exactly the time for all of this.

your violent overnight rush - Euphoria // Fezco/Lexi Howard // rated E // 14/42 WIP // Post S2E8 AU where the raid goes down differently and Fez and Lexi find their way back to each other

“Don’t,” she whispers, an accusing finger pointed at him. “I get it. I fucking get it, okay? Your line of work makes me a liability, I can understand that, and you’re afraid to lose me because of it. But don’t you think I’m afraid of losing you, too?”

Fez has started to look a little defensive, a bit angry even. He opens his mouth to speak, but Lexi cuts him off again because she’s not quite done. “Your feelings aren’t the only ones that matter here. I knew the risks before I even walked into your store for the first time. But I did it anyway. I let you in, I shared so much of myself with you because you made me feel seen for the very first time Fezco. Before you, no one really gave a shit about what I had to say, about my thoughts or feelings. And then you-”, she pauses, to master herself for a moment. “But then you spent all New Years Eve on a fucking couch with me actually engaged in a real conversation while a party raged around us. You saw me. How could I not fall for you after that?” She’s not yelling, not quite anyways. Frustration rolls off of her in waves as she yanks a hand through her unruly curls. “You done?” Fez asks evenly from the bed where he’s still watching her pace. “Depends on what you have to say,” she bites back, twirling on the spot to look at him.

#fic: since nothing has changed me quite like you #reylo #fic: slow hands #drukkari #fic: stages #jonsa #jon x sansa #fic: your violent overnight rush #fexi #fic: but the wolves came and went #podyra #podrick x arya

[faerielleart]

Are you ok with the fact that isayama didn't confirm who Levi loved instead of showing us hints (bc some seriously missed them). I'm just do done of all those ships wars and I would pass over Hange's death if he would have made it clear for everyone even non shippers. Have a Nice day and take care

hi anon!

ahh this might sound a but controversial i guess? but i’ll give my two cents anyway.

first of all, i want to say that i kinda disagree with this as a whole: i think that realistically the fact that they love each other couldn’t have been clearer if we take into account levi and hanji as characters. they’re awkward adults, we’re never getting a kiss on screen. they’d probably hold hands at 50. and even if we got a fucking kiss you can bet your ass there’d be people saying they kissed platonically, as they seem to say with literally every single one of their interactions. nothing new here.

secondly, and this is something i’ve wanted to say for a really long time, i feel like sometimes us levihans accidentally downplay what happens between them, i think out of fear of being harassed or because the harassment got to us subconsciously. i know because i’ve done it myself in the past.

let me put it in this perspective: why is it that we as a fandom feel the need to somehow “justify” our meta posts by adding a bit about how “their bond can be taken as platonic” every single time? you don’t see others do it with other ships. it’s only us lmao and ughhh i’m kinda over it i guess? now that the series is over i can finally let it out so pls bear with me :’) i’m not, in absolutely any way, saying you have to read levihan as romantic, but at the same time i feel like sometimes we kinda force ourselves to see it in that perspective too when talking about it publicly out of subconscious fear of getting weirdos coming at us, when other shippers simply don’t do it: they just say “yo it’s canon” and peacefully go on about their day. but with levihan it’s different hhhh there’s always this wanting to remark about how their interactions can be read both as platonic and romantic. as if it’s offensive to consider them exclusively romantic, you feel?

i’m coming clean, i never saw them platonically. never. sorry if it upsets some 🤸 i find it weird how when it comes to levihan people seem to insist that seeing them as anything more than friends is “ruining their friendship”, as if relationships aren’t supposed to be rooted in friendships lmao are y’all marrying strangers or something??? and yeah this strong insistence again is only seen with levihan and NO other ships. i wonder why.

i feel like this last chapter was the “nail in the coffin”, borrowing this expression from the dear anon from yesterday who had to say so many nice things to me.

and i mean it positively! at this point i honestly believe it’s more forced to believe levihan to be ambiguous and unresolved rather than not. we haven’t had an explicit declaration of love from anyone that’s not falco. hell, not even eren explicitly said “i love you” nor did mikasa lmao so yeah i’m kinda over people not keeping the same energy for levihan despite them having the most interaction out of all the characters, despite getting a scene where one of them literally wants to elope with the other, despite getting a confession from one of them hidden in a silly grammar particle, despite the author going out of his way to change a kanji in that same sentence to make it emotionally deeper, despite one of them doing a modified salute with dead eyes, despite the other looking as if they got the sudden realization of their lives, despite one looking completely dead inside staring at his hands until the battle, despite one being at the center of his memories standing out in the sea of light hair and smiles with dark hair and the most sorrowful expression, despite all the mf parallels with other two characters complete with the same words and the same pose distribution in the panels, despite one looking at a plane wistfully and getting paralleled with another character looking at a bird. do i have to go on? and this is only in the last arc. come on. let’s not pretend as if there are no romantic tropes, let’s not pretend as if if it were any other ship people’d be all over them. we can do it now that the manga is over, come on. come on.

to me, it’s clear as day, nothing ambiguous at all. not since chapter 126, and i’m tired of pretending it is lol and to be really really honest i feel like at this point you have to be either a speedreader or in complete denial as a rival shipper if you seriously downplay everything we got in this final arc especially.

again, just my two cents! levihan might not be endgame, but it is canon and they canonically love each other and there is nothing ambiguous about it, point blank.

thank you for the ask anon!

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Five [PT. 1]

Part Eighty-Five [PT. 2]

Words: 5.5k

Warning(s): explicit language, explicit sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion  @edwardtriggerhandzz  @haileynicoleseavey17  @cierrasixx19  @oskea93  @mgkobsessed  @sharon6713  @itsametaphorbriansblog  @miriampraez  @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx  @rebeccaphillips14  @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie  @emariehorror  @divaanya  @6ixx6ixx  @ratedrkohardychick91  @floregrohlssard  @oldschoolimagineblog  @thanks2pete  @abaldboi  @liith-ium  @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels  @ytwahsog  @scarecrowmax  @random-internet-user-4471  @solohqrry  @sparxx27  @kaitieskidmore1  @cruecifymesixx    @meetthesixxter   @sublimeprincesswasteland  @arianareirg  @gingerspicetalks

@fancywasmyname1  @teller258316  @ggorehorror  @blowinmeupwithherlove  @xrosegoldwolfx  @mylifeisjustafeverdream  @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

NIKKI

My lawyer looks completely unimpressed with my lack of shoes, shirt, and dignity as he leans back in his chair behind his desk, rubbing his temples. 

"It doesn't work like that, Nikki, I'm afraid." He informs me finally, sitting up and leaning forward to rest his elbows on his desk. 

"I was declared dead for two minutes. I died. My wife's technically a widow." 

"You can't annul a four year marriage on the basis of 'I died for two minutes.' Some cases of actual death, it can take an act of congress for widow or widower to have an annulment for a marriage where their spouse is no longer alive, legitimately." He explains and I roll my eyes. 

"So, what, I just get some divorce papers or something?" 

"Unless I declare mental incapacity given that you went through a traumatic series of events within the last twenty-four hours and this could possibly be a very serious lapse in judgement." He argues and I stare at him.

"Stop pulling my dick." 

"I'm not 'pulling your dick.' I just don't want you to make this decision and then regret it when your head clears." 

I managed to wear him down and by the next morning, he left the papers by Tommy's door after Vince mentioned to me that Viv stayed over there with Tommy and Heather.

When I get home, Karen opens the door and looks at me, wide eyed and confused. 

"H-Hey?" She says as I push past her and go to the phone, opting to change my answering machine. 

"Hey, it's Nikki." I say. "I'm not here because I'm dead." 

Karen just looks at me, astounded, and I go to my room, slamming the door. 

I was good and tired and glutton for punishment because I got home that night and loaded up the biggest shot of smack I could muster and pulled the trigger.

I wake up with a sharp pain in the crook of my arm, a needle still in my skin as blood trails my forearm to collect in my palm...Jesus fucking Christ, I've officially lost it. 

I take the needle out and force myself up to trudge to the living room to check my messages. 

Things like, "You're an asshole," and "that's not funny," tend to be the common theme. 

I guess I need to change my answering machine. 

I comb through to see if I have anything from Viv. 

Now would be a good time to hear her bitch me out for almost making her kill herself--because, lets face it, she's gonna blame it on me, anyway. 

Nothing's found, though. 

"Fuck, Vivian." I sigh out, sitting on the carpet in the living room, rubbing my forehead as a new message comes on…

"You fucker, you would be the one to fucking OD and die and then get up right after and file for divorce as if she doesn't have enough shit going on, already." 

I furrow my brows at the voice. 

"Axl the Twat?" I say aloud, confused, as he finishes with, "fuck you, you fucking fuck." 

He hangs up and I raise my brows. 

Did I die and wake up in a parallel universe? Axl defending Vivian? 

Is this hell? 

It cuts to the last message. 

"Hey, umm...I don't know if you'll get this or not or if…" Vanity. "...I don't know what's going on but I heard something terrible on the radio and I suppose it was true--well, kind of, um…" she sighs. "We're not together anymore and I get that I just hope you're o--"

"Fuck that." I grumble, hitting delete. 

I fall back and I look up at myself. 

It's fucked that I bought this fucking house for Viv, and she's not even staying in it anymore. 

I feel like I promised her so much and haven't given a damn thing to her except reasons to want to throw herself off of balconies.

I look down at my arm, dried blood still on my skin. 

I'm fucking tired of this shit. 

I let my complete exhaustion of being sick fuel me to dig through everything I own and throw out all of my rigs, any other drugs in my path, and even pour everything to get drunk off of down the sink--even the fucking cooking-wine. 

Vivian's somewhere catching the holy spirit, probably, just sensing I'm finally fucking done. 

Or she's somewhere in tears over me finally taking the final step to end our relationship. 

I feel like it's dead in every way aside from legal. 

Whisky's laying by the door, whining when I step over him to go throw the big garbage bag out. 

I'd get down there and whine for her, too, but I know this is what needs to be done. 

Our entire relationship has just been one giant clusterfuck, and I don't want to put her through the bullshit of having to try to forgive me and trust me, again. 

I think I've already stolen enough of her peace of mind. 

She'll be happier with Duff, anyway. He's a good guy. A hell of a lot more suited for her than I am. 

My hand rubs the back of my neck and I realize I'm still wearing the small crucifix of her's. 

I'm tempted not to give it back. 

I just sigh and throw the trash out and get back in the house, getting in the shower. 

When I get out, I ruffle a towel through my hair, seeing the light blinking on my answering machine. 

I go over and try to keep myself from getting too excited at the thought of it being Viv before I hit play on my messages. 

"Nikki, it's Doc. I know you feel like horseshit right about now but I need you to come down to the office at 5:00p.m., we're getting you guys together because we need to talk. See you then--preferebly kinda sober and coherent." 

Turns out I'll have my ass chewed by Doc before Viv, after all. 

I know he came down to the hospital and tore Slash and the guys new ones while I was unconscious. 

I'm digging in my garbage for a couple pills to dull down my future shakes that I just know are gonna be coming before sundown. 

Despite being not in shape to fucking drive anywhere, I still go because I know if I don't go, Doc will come here and I don't need him here. 

It's morbid walking into the office to see Vince, Tommy, and Mick sitting and waiting for me while Doc sits behind his desk. 

"Fuck me." I complain out loud, dreading what Doc's about to go on about. 

"Sit." Doc tells me and I plop down beside Tommy, sighing, and Doc waits a minute before saying, "I canceled the European tour."

"What?" Vince asks and Mick furrows his brows. 

"What the fuck, Doc--"

"--Shut the fuck up and listen." He cuts me off while Tommy nervously shakes his leg. "If you bastards go to Europe, one of you will come back in a body bag. And I'm not gonna be the fucking manager that runs Mötley Crüe into the ground." He states harshly. 

"That's a fucking first." I laugh out, meanly, and Doc glares at me. "Guess dead rockstars don't make as much money as alive ones, huh? I coulda told ya that after Razzle--"

"--Nikki." Mick states. 

"Where's my wife?" I snap next. 

"Oh, the one you so stupidly filed for divorce from without giving me a heads up first? Probably with her friends that haven't put her through the ringer and fucked her over time and time again." He states. 

"I didn't know I needed permission to make decisions in my personal life--that have nothing to do with Mötley Crüe." 

"Are you two just gonna argue or are we gonna actually talk about why we're here because I have things to do." Vince grumbles. 

"Tommy came to me and told me he's thinking about rehab." Doc tells us and I glance at Tommy, who's avoiding looking at anybody. "I'm not taking Mötley Crüe on tour again, in a studio, whatever, until you guys get your act together." 

We all look at each other, exhaling, and I rub my lips together. 

"Fine." Vince sighs, and Doc looks at Tommy.

He nods. 

"Nikki?" Doc asks and I just stare at him. 

The guys are gone in a few minutes, leaving just me and Doc and I stand up. 

"I wanna see Viv." I tell Doc as he digs through some files, and he looks up and blinks from behind his desk, 

"She said she's not seeing you until you get help." Doc states. 

"She says that but I bet I could find her tonight and still get her under me in less than three minutes." 

"Assuming she's not still under Duff." Doc says and I tense up. "You think I didn't notice how questionably close they got on tour?" He adds. 

"She's going through a crisis." I reply. 

"Can't imagine why." He mumbles. 

"Just tell me where she's at, Doc." I snap. 

"You look like shit. You need to go home and get some fuckin' rest because you're all checking in tomorrow afternoon." He adds. 

"I'm not going anywhere until I see my wife."

"You mean the wife you filed for divorce from?" He questions and I roll my jaw. "Your wife is resting. You should, too."

1981

I fumble for my key to the apartment, cussing under my breath when I can't get the door opened. 

"Motherfucker." I hiss, finally getting it unlocked and shoving it open…

I slam it shut and toss my keys across the room, hearing Tommy and Vince's room door creak open. 

Vivian crosses her arms, a scowl on her face, her hair tousled from sleep. 

"Could you be any louder?" She snaps, shutting the door behind her, going to the kitchen.

My eyes run up and down her long legs as she heads that way, only in one of Tommy's t-shirts and panties. 

Fuck. Me. 

I go to grab the bottle of Jack on the counter, taking a sip as she gulps some water down, a droplet escaping the glass as she drinks, rolling down her chin to her neck and I watch it, my burning throat getting dry as I try to pull myself together, my prick starting to push against my pants. 

Damnit. 

It's like the sane part of myself is trying to slap the hopelessly horny part of me. 

She's fucking evil, dude, fuck off, I tell myself. 

She's hot. 

You hate each other. 

I wonder what weird shit she's into in bed. 

She's a bitch. You know she's a bitch. Leave her alone. 

Oh, I forgot she's supposedly a virgin.

Go to bed, dumbfuck. GO TO BED. 

That means I get to watch her experience stuff for the first time.

I end up chuckling, amused at the thought of seeing her pretty eyes roll in her head as pleasure bombards her for the first time. 

"What?" She snaps, and I realize I've been staring at her. 

I'm about to answer until I get caught up at the sight of her nipples peering through her shirt...fuck me. 

"Nikki," she shoves at my shoulder, making me take my eyes off of her chest.

She just scoffs. 

"Go touch yourself in the bathroom or something. Jesus." She puts the glass down and walks past me to go back to Tommy's room.

See? Evil. 

I ignore the voice of reason and I catch her wrist and stop her, yanking her closer to me. 

She looks like a deer in headlights for a minute before I'm grabbing at her hair closest to her neck and pulling her to me, kissing her. 

It's a pretty clean kiss, no tongue, no mess, just testing the waters. 

She doesn't push me away or beat me up like I always thought she would do, instead, when I pull away for a moment, she takes a breath, wide eyed, before grabbing me by my jacket, pulling me back in. 

I'm surprised but I don't let it get in the way, taking lead a little to guide her. 

For someone who's never been kissed before (again, allegedly) she's not awful at it like I expected--well, I didn't expect her to be awful because she's never kissed anybody, I expected her to be awful because she's so mean to me. 

Her hands push my jacket off my shoulders and I push my tongue past her lips, coaxing a quiet moan from her. 

Holy shit. 

My hands go to her ass and she grasps at my hair as I pick her up, her legs wrapping around me. 

Just to see if we're on a standard starting basis of common interests, I lift one of my hands and bring it back down, not too hard, but hard enough, and she hums, fucking biting my bottom lip and grinding into me a couple times. 

I have to keep from creaming my pants just by her moving against me. 

You're being stupid, I tell myself, but I can't bring myself to leave her alone now. 

She's been the forbidden fruit or whatever for months now and I just gotta have it. 

I take her to my room and kick the door shut with my foot, taking her to the shitty mattress on the floor. 

I drop her onto it, seeing her in the glow of streetlights. 

"Take your shirt off." I say, lowly, and she rubs her lips together and slowly pulls it over her head, her bare chest exposed and my dick's practically throbbing at this point. 

I take her crucifix in my hand, and she looks down at it as I lick my lips. 

She unfastens it and throws it aside. 

I lean down and kiss her again, trailing down her neck, my tongue against her skin and she gasps out a sharp breath, her hands pulling at my shirt. 

I take it off and she's sitting up and running her palms over my shoulders, down my chest, and I grasp her around her throat, pushing her back to the mattress and I feel a little shiver go up her spine. 

My tongue circles one of her nipples and she lets out bated breaths as I take it between my teeth. 

She moans, loudly, and I move my hand to her mouth. 

"Shh!" I say. "You're gonna wake them up." I add and she nods. 

I do the same to her other breast, with my hand over her mouth, but then I get an idea. 

A glorious, completely selfish idea. 

I take my hand off of her mouth and smirk before kissing the middle of her chest, one of her top ribs, biting into it, hard, making her scratch at my shoulder while covering her own mouth as a sharp moan is forced from her.

I run my tongue over the bite mark and continue down her stomach, stopping at the top of her panties, glancing at her. 

She's still breathing heavy, hands covering her chest, tilting her head to see me. 

I run my hand over her clothed core, a little noise coming from her throat, feeling a big wet spot over her cunt. 

She lifts her hips and starts pulling them down and I take them and discard them, running my fingertips up the inside of her thigh before I rub my thumb around her clit that's slickened wet. 

Her hands jolt to mine between her legs, her back arching, trying her hardest not to be loud. 

I tug her to the edge of the mattress, and grab one of her hands, replacing mine with it before I'm looming over her for a moment. "Touch yourself." I tell her, my lips brushing against hers and I can tell she's blushing under the dark of the room. "C'mon, it's hot, just do what feels good." I add, my lips pressing against hers for a moment before I feel her hand move, a delicate gasp coming from her and I pull my lips from hers to watch her face. 

Her eyes close, her head tilts back while her other hand tangles in her hair. 

I stand up to take my pants off, grabbing at my painfully hard cock when she bucks her hips against her frail fingers. 

"Nikki," she says, eyes still shut, head back, and I rub my hands down my face. 

We haven't even fucked yet and I can already tell she's gonna make me a fucking idiot. 

I get my pants off and run my thumb over my tip and get some precum on it, leaning down and holding it up to her lips. 

"Hold your tongue out," I tell her and she opens her eyes and looks at me, before doing as I say. 

The pad of my thumb rubs it over her tongue and she lets out a satisfied sigh, looking up at me as I lick her spit off my thumb. 

I get back up on my feet for a moment and she gets up and crawls to the foot of the bed, her eyes on my prick, hunger in her eyes…

Nice try, evil bitch, you're not stealing my soul by sucking it through my dick. 

I grab her hair and make her look at me. 

"Lay down." I tell her and doesn't argue, eyes still ravenous…

I kiss up her kneecap to her thigh, sliding up and up until--

"Oh, fuck!" She whimpers out when my tongue swirls her clit around, getting the first taste of Saint Viv. 

My eyes are the ones to roll back, now. 

Holy shit. 

It's good because she's Satan and needs something to trap you with, that little voice comes back. 

Her hands find my hair, her lips find my name and if I don't get ahold of myself, I'll be finding God based on this experience alone.

Apparently she's finding him right now because all she can muster out is, "oh, God." 

I find a good rhythm with my tongue, her pussy starting to grind against my face as teasing, little sultry moans flutter through the room. 

After a minute I feel her body tense up, and I pat myself on the back as she comes, my tongue lapping at her entrance to get drunk off of her, my hands running over her stomach and thighs. 

Vivian claims we just went right into sex without doing anything aside from making out before hand but I distinctly remember going down on her. She must've blacked out once she realized we were about to fool around or something but I remember that happening because it was something I'd dreamed up doing ever since I met her, creepy but honest.

I pry myself from her to grab a rubber behind the head of the mattress, the both of us pulling ourselves up there.

I get it on and turn over, getting on top of her. 

She's already hooking her legs around me before I even line myself up with her. 

She looks like she's high or drunk, eyes nearly shut, her lip between her teeth, her head tilted slightly, exposing her neck. 

I lean down and kiss her neck, her skin damp with sweat and she sighs. 

I rub my tip against her opening and she closes her eyes. 

I push into her, having to coach myself through because fuck her pussy is tight, and she winces, her mouth opening but nothing coming out. I'm about to ask her if she's alright when she speaks first. 

"Take it off." She tells me. 

"What?" 

"The condom, take it off." 

"Are you trying to trap me or something?" I snap at her. 

"I wanna feel you." She tells me softly, and I guess it's kinda sweet, or primal, whatever. 

I pull out of her and take the condom off, dropping it by the bed before I'm pushing back into her. 

We both moan, and I can feel her body stretching to accommodate my entrance, her face showing pain. 

I pullout again, but before I can get out completely, she pulls me back in with her legs, letting out a high pitched breath. 

More of her juices coat over my cock. 

"Fuck, Vivian," I say it, thrusting into her again and she wraps her arms around my back, hugging me to her, and my lips find hers as I push into her again, and again, roughly, the feeling of heaven washing over me each time I go back inside her. 

I make her take every inch, forcing myself to fit the last inch and a half despite her body not having room, and she writhes underneath me. 

"I think I'm bleeding." She tells me breathlessly and I think she wants me to back off or get off her, but when I go to, she says, "No, keep going, it feels good." 

The look on her face is a clear indication that she's into it. 

I'm kind of shocked that churchy Vivian is into the same shit I'm into, and I grab her throat, again, and kiss her, our tongues moving together. 

"I wanna get on top next." She tells me through moans. 

"Why?" I ask. 

"I wanna see it." She says and I furrow my brows for a second before I catch on. 

I'm rolling off of her and onto my back, my hands running up her thighs and waist when she gets on top of me, and I grab myself as she straddles me, pushing it against her before my hands pull  her down onto me. 

She screws her eyes shut, as she sinks down to the hilt, her thighs shaking, and I hit her ass cheek as hard as I can and she gets so tight around me I can't pull out until she relaxes. 

"You can't do that shit." I tell her harshly, biting back my urge to go ahead and come, and she relaxes a little more as my hands hold at her waist, guiding her movements since she's never done this before. 

"Does it feel good?" I ask her, her little moans and whimpers getting me even more hot and bothered. 

"Yes," she nods, tipping her head back. "So good."

I look between us, clear view of her pussy taking it, and I sigh. 

"It looks good, too." I tell her and she leans down over me, her forehead against my chest as she watches me fuck her for a moment before looking at me, kissing me sloppily, her chest pressing against mine making her sigh when her nipples brush against my skin. 

When she pulls away, I'm sticking two fingers in her mouth, taking her by surprise but she starts sucking on them in a second, and I force them down her throat, making her gag, as I start pounding into her, making her nearly shriek out but I gag her with my hand around her throat. 

"You're so pretty." I tell her, spit all down her chin from choking on my fingers, eyes nearly shut, my hand around her throat, and I glance down between us, licking my lips. "That pussy's pretty, too." I add and she cries out when my other hand starts rubbing at her clit. 

I take my hand from her throat and she gasps for air. 

"Nikki, I'm--" 

She can't finish. 

I roll onto her again, getting on my knees and lift her hips, continuing to hammer into her roughly and her eyes go to the back of her head, as her cum soaks the both of us. 

Why the fuck didn't she tell me she can come like that? 

I feel myself reaching my own end and go to pull out but she tugs me onto her, kissing me, her legs snaking around me. 

At first I don't think she realizes I'm about to blow my kids everywhere, then when I try to pullout, she says, "do it in me, I've heard it feels good."

I look at her like she's crazy because it's something I'd never expect her to say. 

"Please, Nikki, let me have it." 

I don't have time to argue because I'm finishing with a grunt and a satisfied smile at the sight of tears of pleasure in her eyes before her lids screw shut, her mouth open as a moan leaves her, her body sparking off with shivers. 

I let her have it.

"You're a slut." I tell her, thrusting into her a couple more times and she hums at my words. 

"Shut up." She says next and I kiss her one last time before rolling off of her. 

She pulls the covers over her chest and closes her eyes, tired, and I watch her for a moment. 

Okay, she may not be a slut, but I know she's gonna be able to get away with murder and I'm gonna let her because she's fucking Vivian. 

I ran myself into my own grave, but heroin and Vivian were major catalysts, but I know I was a catalyst for her own rock bottom, too. We were just too fucking young to know better, I guess. We fell in love and got hooked on playing house without actually stopping to think what all it would look like. Of course, neither of us expected me to be on smack, neither of us expected me to reach the level of stupidity that I reached with Vanity, and neither of us expected her to be conceiving a lovechild while I was next door dying, and I certainly didn't expect to file for divorce first, if at all. I remember that first night together in that shitty apartment got me hooked on her. Not just sex, I actually started listening to what she had to say after that, and wanting to have conversations, and hangout...I fell in love and she made it easy for me to. It was like boiling a frog. Things got worse and worse slowly overtime until BAM! I had Vanity, crack, and junk, and Vivian had Duff and a secret savings account she didn't think our lawyer would get record of. I was pissed, but I knew it was my fault. 

All of it was. 

I had promised her the world and instead stole everything from her like a life-sucking demon. 

She wasn't the evil, manipulative bitch. 

I was.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

[xx-autmnlvr-xx]

I know it's not the Christmas season but I'm obsessing over Arthur Christmas again and I have to point this out

Steve giving his place as next in line to Arthur really touched something in my heart. It was a shift in his mentality and it showed his character development.

You have to realize something about Steve Claus.

In the movie we learn these things:

Steve was refused something he really wanted from his own father, (who is SANTA) because he didn't touch Malcolm's ego with being santa. (When Steve was 8 he wanted a pool table but Malcom, his father, didn't give it to him because he didn't sit on his lap and ask)

in mortal terms, it's like your parent was a candy factory CEO and they would not give you, their child, candy unless you pay them

Because of this the magic and love of Christmas kind of dulled in Steven's eyes. He assumed it doesn't matter how a child feels, because that's how Malcom made him feel.

So he grew up being more technical in his role as next-in-line. He knew he was gonna be Santa. He was raised to be santa. He was grateful to know that was his destiny and that it was something Malcom would give him.

When he creates the North Pole to be efficient and manageable he felt proud of himself. He had something he could work with and get thanked for!

Or did he?

As we saw in the movie. It was the 'most accomplished Christmas ever' and that was all Steve. He choreographed the elves, he MADE the S-1 that made them deliver presents quickly, and ,from his knowledge, they delivered all the presents! He was happy he could do that!

Then Malcom went and claimed that it was his mission so it was mainly him. He DISVALUED his own sons accomplishment just to get a little confidence boost because, as we saw, he felt insecure about his role as santa.

This made Steve a bit frustrated but he brushed it off because it was supposed to be his father's last night and now it was HIS TURN!! He could get recognition.

That all changed when Malcom declared he would continue being santa.

HE DENIED HIS OWN SON THE DUTIES HE WAS PROMISED BECAUSE MALCOM DIDN'T KNOW WHO HE WAS WITHOUT BEING SANTA

I know some of you are thinking 'yeah but steve is being insensitive' if his accomplishments being disvalued was just the one time thing then I would agree. But it wasn't.

We are hinted at during the dinner that Steve continued getting overshadowed by both his grandfather and his father since he began the north Pole operations. Grandsanta continuously picks at him while Malcom focuses on his place as santa. Maybe his mother cares? Margaret obviously loves both her children. But when you're the children of SANTA you kind of have a weird place in the family.

To me I think both Arthur and Steve get pushed around too much by their family. They are two sides to the same coin. Arthur didn't let getting pushed back hinder his view of Christmas. While Steve saw how he was treated and pushed back to try to get noticed.

Anyways, back to the point.

When the child was missed we see more evidence of Malcolm's AND Steve's insecurities.

While Arthur was worries about the child, Steve tried to cover it up. When Malcom heard a child was missed he IMMEDIATELY shifted the blame.

'oh Steven how could you do that?'

Steve pushed back with, 'me? I thought it was YOUR mission!'

'but it was your department'

Things go on and peter points out that they had the best delivery that year. Steve repeated that to his father by saying

'my DEPARTMENT...' basically mirroring his own father's words.

Then you know what Malcom said? 'well done US'

0_0'

That's not even the end of it!

Toward the end, when the other elves realized the missed child they went to Malcom and asked him.

Being faced by this, he says 'go to Steve. He can explain'

An elf points out, 'but aren't you in charge, sir?'

When they get to the HQ

Steve gets frustrated by all the questions because, to him, why DOES one child matter?? That goes back to his childhood. He HONESTLY thought one child didn't matter because back when he was 8 HE didn't matter. HE didn't get a toy under the tree. If you think he did, I want to point you to the fact that usually Santa only gives ONE TOY to each child. The other presents are usually from the parents. Since the North Pole can't give a lot of presents it's possible that they only give their children one toy each so they save material.

STEVE DID NOT GET A TOY WHEN HE WAS 8. That is WHY he was frustrated at everyone freaking out over this random child.

He LITERALLY SAYS IT 'who cares about one single tiny child?'

I'm not apologizing for Steve but I'm just pointing out why it's justified in HIS eyes.

Steve looks and sees Malcom staring at him and immediately his mind goes to 'oh no. I might never get the role if I don't rephrase that and says that he cares. (Which is a lie but go off)

Malcom starts saying how he's worried about Arthur and says

Malcom literally blamed Steve?

STEVE WASN'T EVEN THERE!!! HE WAS IN BED! Steve left Arthur at HQ WITH MALCOM BESIDE HIM

Malcom claiming it was Steve's responsibility to watch Arthur when Arthur is 20-something is proof of how much Steve gets pushed around and expected to take all responsibility of the negative things.

THEN MALCOM SAID THAT FORGETTING THE CHILD WAS STEVE'S DECISION!!! IN FRONT OF ALL THE ELVES!!! Sure Steve said it more but MALCOM AGREED!! also you don't just push your son under the bus just to look good.

This makes Steve crack a bit. 'i don't care anymore. Here's the location of all the important stuff. You take care of it all. Good night SANTA'

He doesn't even say 'dad' he is finished.

Further on Steve runs to the S-1 because it's getting dented and when he sees it's his parents going to deliver the present he gets even more frustrated.

He gets on. Malcom claims that the s-1 is his (even though Steven BUILT the thing)

Then Steve says this:

That's a face of a man tired of being the after thought of his own dad.

He EXPLODES!! He realizes that he will never get anything he was promised.

You can FEEL the emotion and let me just say that when I first watched this movie. This was the moment I realized BOTH Arthur and Steve played second fiddle. When the movie began I thought Steve was going to be the 'perfect oldest sibling' cliche. (Which as an eldest sibling, I think it puts us in a bad light) and seeing the insecurities of Steve here i nearly cried.

Back to the esssy

Steve gets to drive the s-1 and offhandedly comments how the delivery is the only thing that matters to everyone.

All the Santa's get there and Steve says 'it's so not fair' I'm not quite sure why he said that but I assume it's because he wanted to do something that will be looked positively on him. And at the moment Arthur was nearly in the house.

The bike gets delivered (by Arthur) and they end up in the closet to escape. Arthur asks to watch the kids open it from the closet.

Malcom finally realizes just how blinded he was over wanting to stay santa that he never was a dad. He pats both of their backs and says 'back in my day a pat on the back and a walnut went a long way.'

We get this image:

From the look of Arthur and Steve's face (especially Steve's) we can assume they never had any kind of positive touch by Malcom (No hug or anything???) and it surprised Steve!

Gwen (the child) opens the present and says 'santa brought me the bike I wanted'

Malcom examines Arthur and Steve's faces and tells steve

'you deserve to be santa' (because technically he does. He's the eldest and he was trained for it. But he doesn't have the heart for it)

Getting this recognition from his father, Steve gasps and reacts

Lip pursed like he's biting it, and eyes showing that he was about to cry.

He was acknowledged by his dad. He was told he deserves the role and that surprises Steve! Because before that he was only told that by his assistant, peter the elf, and his brother.

Peter is peter. Arthur is Arthur. They both love him and tell him that. But it doesn't faze him because they have no control over the matter.

Malcom then says 'but I wonder if Gwen was right' (meaning: he wonders if Arthur should be santa because of his heart and love for children)

At this point Steve notices Arthur is still watching the child play and realizes that Gwen would not have had a good Christmas if Arthur hadn't have cared so much about one single child. I think he puts himself in Gwen's place and imagines if his father cared about his Christmas like how Arthur did the child's.

He realizes that what Arthur did was more Santa-like then anything he had done that night. He makes a hard decision and gives the figure of Santa he had in his pocket to Arthur.

This is the part that really REALLY touched me. Imagine being promised something and believing that what you were promised was the only way to be acknowledged and loved by others. Then realizing someone else deserved the role more and giving it to them.

You can see that he's unsure about giving it but he knew it was best for the children. So no one would feel like he did when he was a child.

Malcom tells them that they are both good men and they leave.

That is why I honestly feel like Steve is a wonderful character and why the scene where Steve gave his future to his brother really warmed my heart.

And don't worry

He's happy in the end. I believe Arthur gives all the recognition after the missions to his brother because Arthur is kind and generous like that.

#arthur christmas #steve claus #aardman #arthur claus #malcom claus

[love101imagines]

Just good friends

(sinan | imagine)

request: hey, could you write a picture with Sinan and y/n have been best friends for years, and he's been in love with her, but he never counted, with the group getting closer, he feels jealous of her with Kerem, so he takes the courage to declare. please

tags: @sinanfalls @girl-looking-out-window @imtoolazytothinkofacoolname

You two met when you were thirteen.

His parents were still together and he wasn't as self-deprecating as he was when the rest met him. You were friends, talking every now and then and spending some time together because you were new and didn't really know anyone.

Then his parents abandoned him and he shut himself off, becoming a mess with dark bags under his eyes and his hair sticking out in every direction. But, you were the only one who still stayed at his side, even more than the flask he always carried.

You were a breath of fresh air in the middle of the people who either pitied him or were simply annoyed by his remarks. You thought they were funny, even if you got upset whenever he got into trouble or he turned up late to school, dismissing his teacher quickly before slumping on his seat next to you and falling asleep. There wasn't much you could do, only take notes for him and empty his flask when he wasn't looking.

It didn't take long for you two to be attached to the hip, your entire day was spent on his house or yours were you two would watch TV, force him to do his homework or eat, and simply strengthening your friendship.

It was the day he almost burned down the whole auditorium everything changed.

You were leaning against a wall in the hall, waiting patiently even if everyone had already left for their houses. The last time you had seen Sinan he had been standing in the middle of the stage with a fire behind him before being taken by a teacher to an empty classroom before deciding whether he would be expelled or not.

You saw Işik, another one of your classmates, leave the teachers' room with a frown on her face. However, you didn't have time to ask her what had happened when Sinan left the room shortly after.

"How did it go?" You asked walking alongside him, ignoring the three other kids who also walked out of the room.

He only shrugged, causing you to roll your eyes. "I'm not expelled. Yet." He stated like it was obvious.

You sighed in relief, your eyes softening while you two walked out of school towards the pier. Still, your calmness didn't last for long.

"Why would you do that? I know there was a fight but you can't just burn down the whole fucking auditorium, you idiot." You scolded him, each sentence punctuated with a slap on his arm.

He grabbed your wrist to stop you from continuing to hit him, a scowl on your face for how reckless he had acted while he only took a sip of his flask.

"I can't say I'm sorry for something I didn't do." He said emotionless, waiting for you to take a seat next to him on the ferry.

He glanced at you after a few seconds while you remained silent. "Why does it affect you so much? I don't care about being expelled."

"Well, I do." You admitted still frustrated. "I don't want them to expel my best friend, what would I do without you? God."

His cheeks heated up, looking down at the ground so you wouldn't notice. Even if you had said that he was only your friend, your best friend, it still felt nice that someone cared for him.

You could only stay angry at him for a few minutes, the ferry slowing down as it reached its stop. You turned to him with a smile. "Can we buy some baklava? I waited for you and I couldn't have lunch."

He nodded, the faintest of smiles on his face as you stood up from your seat and grabbed his hand to hurry and arrive at his house on time to feed his grandpa and dog.

It all started to go downhill the next day, when you two found out Miss Burcu would be transferring schools and he would end up being expelled. Even if he didn't care, you wouldn't allow that, so you went to his house to find some kind of solution. It turned out that your other classmates, Eda, Osman, and Kerem, also wanted to avoid their expulsion, so you all started working together to set up Miss Burcu with another teacher so she would marry and stay in Istanbul.

You got closer to the group, and even if you weren't sure why, Sinan didn't seem fond of the idea. He seemed to always be bickering with Kerem, only stopping once you elbowed him so he wouldn't get into a fight, already knowing that he didn’t care but you did.

Still, it puzzled you why he acted like that only with Kerem. He didn't seem to care if you became friends with Eda and Işik, who were quick to point that out.

"So?" Eda asked the day of the rock concert, Sinan nowhere to be seen and the other boys in the line.

You handed your ticket to the guard. "So what?" You asked confused.

She rolled her eyes. "What's up with you and Sinan?"

You shrugged, Isik approaching both of you while you waited for Miss Burcu. "He's my best friend. We've been for years, he's like a brother to me." You quickly brushed it off.

"You seem more than friends, (Y/N)" Işik pointed out. "You're always together, he never snaps at you and you care about him."

You groaned, dealing with those kinds of questions almost every day at school and even from your parents. “Uf, Işik, not you too.”

"One day I literally saw you two passed out on his couch with your head on his lap and his arm around your waist, that's not something just friends do. Spare us the bullshit." Eda carried on.

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to show how concerned you were starting to get when he didn't seem to show up. "I'm just really comfortable around him."

And that was the truth. Or at least, part of it. Sinan mattered too much to you to ever try to pursue anything. You didn't want to lose him and you knew he wasn't the best with his feelings, so you simply brushed it off and tried to act as normal as possible. You knew something happened to you when you were close to him, and it was a different feeling from when you were close with Kerem or other boys. A better feeling.

“Hi! Sorry I’m late, Kerem passed by my house and I already waited for you for like ten minutes.” You said, a smile on your face as you sat on a desk in front of Sinan.

It was recess, but most days he didn’t go out in the courtyard and stayed on an empty classroom to sleep or read a book in silence. You usually did the same, even if sometimes you both talked until class started.

He didn’t answer you, his eyes fixated on a page you were sure he wasn’t reading or was taking too long to turn.

“Why didn’t you pick me up today? Did something happen?” You asked taking the book out of his hands.

“No.” He answered shortly before grabbing back his book.

His answer kind of relieved you, but you still felt unsure about why he hadn’t picked you up by your house as he had done for the last three years. The only times he hadn’t was when you were sick, you got up earlier than him or he was passed out on a bench on a random park.

“Anyway.” You started trying not to focus on the tension between both of you, the only ones who were in the room. “Are we going to have lunch at my house? I don’t mind skipping gym today. God, I’m so tired, the other day Kerem was playing basketball because he was kicked out from the team which sucks and...”

“Don’t you have anything else to do?” He interrupted you.

You frowned your brows, feeling your heart drop at his words. “What’s up with you today? You’ve been weird the last few days.”

“Weren’t you too busy with the caveman to notice?” He asked sarcastically, a scowl on his face as he finally looked at you.

“Why are you such a jerk to him? He didn’t do anything to you.” You insisted hoping to get an honest answer.

When he didn’t reply, you continued. “Are you jealous?”

As you stared at him trying to decipher his expression, he shallowed before turning his gaze back to his book. “No, why would I? Don’t be stupid.”

You sighed exasperated, fed up with his snarky comments. “You always do this when I talk to you about a boy.”

He shut his book, “Why? You want us to talk about boys and braid our hair?” He asked with a dry tone glaring at you.

“I don’t want you to act like an asshole whenever I want to have a conversation with you about someone I like.” You shot back, arms crossed.

When you realized his face softened at what you had said, you thought he would apologize for behaving like a brat in the last days. Instead, he avoided your gaze and continued speaking. “You like Kerem?”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Sinan?” You asked incredulously. “God, you’re so...”

You meant to say oblivious, not believing how the boy couldn’t realize that you could only have feelings for him, being by his side every time he needed it.

He scoffed. “Go with your other friends if you want to talk about your crushes so badly.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

His jaw clenched as you stood up from the desk, grabbing your bag next to his in anger before leaving it next to one of your friend’s and leaving the room.

Truth be told, your anger lowered during class, feeling a bit bad once you realized that he spent the entire lesson alone.

“What happened? Why’s he looking at you like a lost puppy?” Eda whispered to you.

You resisted the urge to turn around and see if Eda was telling the truth, so you only continued taking notes. “He’s acting like an asshole.”

She was silent for a moment before nodding, continuing with her drawing while you felt a pit in the bottom of your stomach.

Of course, you had a few fights with Sinan, but most of the time you two didn’t say anything and started talking back again after a while. The longest you had spent without talking was only one hour, but now you ignored him for the whole day.

Still, you couldn’t help a small smile on your face when you opened your door on your house to find him standing in front of you with a bag of food, possibly baklava.

“Everything’s fine now?” You asked.

He nodded, embracing you in a hug that caught you off guard, but you only stood on your tiptoes and hugged him back.

“Bit unexpected. And they say you aren’t affectionate.” You chuckled before pressing a kiss on his cheek.

You took the bag out of his hands before going towards your kitchen, not noticing how his cheeks heated up.

A few days passed and he tried his best not to snap at Kerem. The rest had already noticed the way he seemed to look at you, and even if they urged him to confess his feelings, he still felt unsure about it, feeling like he was going to fuck it up.

With the plan, you had managed to convince Burcu and Kemal to work together for the May 19 celebration, and after spinning around under the boiling sun, you left your umbrella on the ground before heading to your bag to drink water.

On the other side of the courtyard, Sinan took a gulp of his flask. It had to be now before he regretted it. After almost finishing his drink, he made his way towards you, grabbing your arm and taking you away while the rest of the students glanced at both of you curiously.

“What the fuck?” You asked confused once he stopped.

You were in the back of the school, the place were you had reunited with the rest for the last days, but now you were alone.

“I’m sorry for dragging you here.” He started, feeling his hands shaking before leaving them in his pockets. “But I needed to tell you something.”

You nodded, waiting expectantly for him to continue while you leaned against the wall.

“You’re making me nervous, come on. You can tell me anything.” You added, your hand going to his to try to calm him a bit.

He took a deep breath before staring at the ground. “I love you.”

You smiled. “Aw, I love you too, Sinan. You already know that.” You said like it was obvious, your voice trailing off once he sighed and looked at you in your eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked confused, absentmindedly rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand.

“Because I am in love with you, (Y/N).”

You dropped his hand in shock by how serious he seemed to be, finally understanding his words. Before he could regret it, in one swift motion he placed his hands on your cheeks and smashed his lips against yours.

Your head felt dizzy with all the emotions you were going through. You wanted to continue like that for hours, but after a few seconds, he pulled away to allow for both of you to catch your breaths.

You leaned your forehead against him, your lips forming into a smile. “I love you too. More than a friend.”

#love 101 #love101 #burcu #eda #kerem #osman #sinan #ask 101 #aşk 101 imagine #aşk101imagine #aşk 101 #aşk101 #love101imagine #love 101 imagine #sinanimagine #sinanxreader

[spicycreativity]

Fanfic Appreciation Week Day 7: A Place Where I Can Breathe

Yes, folks, I'm appreciating my own darn fanfic for the final day of Fanfic Appreciation Week because I worked really hard on it and it was a labor of love for/with one of my QPPs, my roommate, the man who got me into Sanders Sides: @\cadeorade-powercade (That's him in the aesthetic board)

Allow me to present the director's commentary for A Place Where I Can Breathe:

Content Warnings: All content warnings mentioned in the fic apply.

Chapter 1: I actually wrote this fairly late in the game. It's meant to serve as a prologue and orient the viewer in the universe, s opposed to staring on Chapter 2, which just throws the viewer in without context. I think it was a good choice, as it also allowed me to introduce the concept of the Sides having power focuses early on.

The Premise: Cade is a Virgil stan and he was getting frustrated looking for Virgil fic. He was finding a lot of stuff written without nuance by young authors, a sort of "by teenagers for teenagers" type deal. We are not teenagers, so we both have a hard time relating to that kind of teen angst fic, as we're not the target audience. So he asked me to write him a Virgil fic and we worked together to identify what plot he wanted, what the Mindscape looked like, and what quirks the Sides have. So a lot of this fic is quite gratuitous and self-indulgent

The Title: Lizzie McAlpine has a song called "Apple Pie" which includes the lyric "I've been running around trying to find a place where I can breathe." Apple Pie SCREAMS Moceit to me, and I had taken notice of the lyric and wanted to use it as the title for a Moceit fic. I didn't really have an idea beyond that, and when Cade asked me to write this fic, I realized it was actually perfect and summed up Virgil's inner struggle quite nicely. So cheers to "A Place Where I Can Breathe," the Moceit Fic That Wasn't

-Cade asked me specifically to include Virgil having a spider and I wrote nearly the whole fic without doing so, then had to go back and sprinkle some references in. I think I managed 2 total.

Chapter 2:

"Uh, how about I hold off on that until I actually see my room?" Virgil stared expectantly at Roman, who bounced on his toes. "Lead on, Macduff."

"That's not the line and you know it," Roman complained, but he turned to lead Virgil to his room. "It's ' lay on, Macduff,' and--"

-This fic was originally supposed to reach a climax with a confrontation between Remus and Roman, and "lay on, Macduff" would come back as a brick joke. Unfortunately, the original ending was a result of me getting tired and lazy, so I had to go back and fix it, and we lost the Roman-Remus confrontation.

It was hard for Virgil to not shudder at the sudden heat and weight on him. With his senses already open and taking in more information than his brain seemed to want to process, touch was an added stressor, more unwanted sensory input.

-Virgil being touch-averse is a direct shoutout to Cade, who is also touch-averse.

Roman had already transformed the living room: metallic streamers of purple and black stretched across the corners of the ceiling, and shiny balloons spelling out A-N-X-E-I-T-Y hovered above the TV.

-Upon first writing, Virgil had already given the upstairs crew his name, so the banner spelled out "VIRIGL" which is way funnier than "ANXEITY." But then his name reveal became a plot point so I had to go back and change it.

-Let! Virgil! Be! Mean!

-Virgil's line about hearing refrigerator noise when Roman talks is another shout-out to Cade, who has leveled that accusation at me

A small, cruel part of him protested at the idea that he would need special treatment and desperately wanted to throw it back in Patton's face. He wasn't a sweetheart, he wasn't a baby. He didn't need to crawl into a blanket fort with Dad just because he was a little stressed.

-Remus calls Janus "Janus Geminus" because I was tired and couldn't come up with a pun. "Geminus" is one of the Roman god Janus' epithets; another is "Pater" meaning "Father." That led to a conversation about Remus deliberately confusing Patton by calling Janus "Daddy," but I couldn't think of a clean way to fit the explanation into the narrative, so I stuck with "Geminus."

Chapter 3:

"There's nothing normal about that! " Roman stared in horror at the coffee massacre Virgil had orchestrated. What had once been a respectable (if not very tasty) cup of black coffee was now part of a 1:1 coffee to milk suspension, the liquid a tasteful shade of tan suitable for business casual trousers or a show-ready chihuahua.

-Cade is a certified Nightmare Man and came up with Virgil's horrifying coffee order after I asked him about it. Keep an eye out for Janus' equally horrifying coffee order later in the fic.

1) Shouts out the fact that Janus is canonically a Dostoevsky fan

Chapter 4:

Janus smiled at him. "Where reason fails, the Devil helps." He fussed with his gloves and straightened his capelet. "It's showtime."

-I fucking love Crime and Punishment. Look at me. Look at me. I fucking love Crime and Punishment. Janus' quoting Raskolnikov serves multiple purposes:

2) Lampshades the fact that Roman just conveniently happened to be alone in the living room, because I didn't want to waste time getting him there. That makes me, the author, the Devil

3) Foreshadows the impending disaster. When Raskolnikov says this line it is because he had planned to commit axe murder. The axe he was planning to steal had been moved, but he finds another, different axe to use. Raskolnikov messes up the murder and ends up killing an innocent witness in addition to his intended target. Janus messes up his manipulation attempt and ends up murdering Roman's self esteem

-I was going to include a reference to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (Remus' line "debauchery and vomit" was originally going to be "blood, love, and rhetoric") but I didn't because... Uh... Hm. Why didn't I do that. Maybe I just forgot about it???

-Roman is too stubborn to manipulate for long and that is a fact.

"I was pretty much done anyway," Remus said. "There's only so much debauchery and vomit you can fit into one story."

-Cade specifically ask me that nobody cry in this fic, but after I had Janus eviscerate Roman I knew he couldn't not cry a little. I kept it to a minimum because there's already a billion fucking fics about [literally any Side] crying on the shoulder of [literally any other Side] and it's really just not interesting to either of us.

-It didn't come up because it doesn't matter, but Thomas dreamed he was participating in the exact Dionysian orgy that took place in The Secret History because it's my fic and I said so.

Chapter 5:

He just sat back and watched and tugged at his hair while Janus spooned mound after mound of crisp white sugar into his mug and Virgil poured his customary eight fluid ounces of milk into his own mug.

-Cade strikes again. Virgil's coffee order is equal amounts milk to coffee; Janus' is equal parts sugar to coffee. He had asked me to include a scene where Roman catches Janus massacring his coffee and is appropriately horrified, but I uhh... Didn't write it. I still might include it as an omake someday.

-I imagine that Roman feels really strongly about dragons vs wyverns, and Remus just pretends to give a shit because he thinks it's funny to wind Roman up. Fortunately for me but unfortunately for my sense of realism in writing, I can't relate because I adore my sister and we get along perfectly almost 100% of the time.

"You shut us down every chance you get!" Remus said, baring his teeth. "How would you like it if your pens never wrote, hm? What would you do with all those thoughts in your head?"

-I do wish I had developed the concept of power focuses a bit more, established rules and such. Basically, Patton is always on the prowl for wrongthink and actively represses it, which in turn breaks or sabotages the Dark Sides' power focus.

Chapter 6: This chapter really should have been Janus and Roman but I was really tired and didn't want to bother with it. Plus, you know, Moceit. This chapter was meant to demonstrate how the characters would get along without Virgil nannying them. There's friction, but everyone is making a conscious, deliberate effort to get along because they love Virgil, and love is a series of choices you make.

I chose "Leo" as the answer for the answer to the crossword clue instead of "Virgo," because my other QPP is a Leo. She'll never read this fic, but I did it anyway because I love her. (Trivia: My sign is Virgo, so it was really a choice between shouting her out and shouting me out, and the last chapter is self-indulgent enough, thank you).

Chapter 7: I was gonna write a fic where all the Sides watched Cats the Musical because I was going through a phase. Then Cade requested this so I combined the two ideas. By this point I was fucking exhausted, and that's the only thing that saved you and the rest of the world from me writing the Sides riffing on the movie scene-by-scene. I could come up with snarky commentary for almost every, if not every single song from the movie.

Most notably, I cut a Patton-Remus interaction where Remus declares his love for Grizabella and Patton gets all staryy-eyed about Remus connecting with the idea of rising above rejection and being loved and accepted only for Remus to shoot him down and explain that he just likes that she got to die in a tire fire.

Other cut scenes include Janus quietly pretending not to go feral over Mister Mistoffelees, Patton full-on fucking sobbing over Grizabella and the kittens, and Logan experiencing a deep, soulful kinship with Munkustrap during Of The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollices (and henceforth introducing the phrase "like herding cats" into his regular vocabulary

#spicypost #fanfic appreciation week

[trouvelle]

I love all your Heizuha contents!!!! Oneshots, drabbles, etc (memes too lol). And your ANGST FICS???? I'M DESTROYED. Just curious, if you are accepting requests, can you write happy shinran and heizuha oneshot? I need something to heal from your angsty AUs 😢😢😢😢💦💦

Hi hello thank you so much 🥺 AH YES HEIZUHA I’m HEART-EYES FOREVER 😍!! My hot-blooded Kendo boi and his Aikido (and Karuta) queen ugh they make me feel so soft. Wait—don’t be destroyed pls omg I have a shinran oneshot first for you right here! And yes it actually is a happy one. Although I gotta say I’m probably even worse at doing happy sappy fluff. But still, I hope you like this! ❤️❤️

Fandom: Detective Conan/DCMK Pairing: Shinichi/Ran Rating: G Genre/Tags: Romance, Fluff Summary: Ran hates being apart from Shinichi. All she wants is to feel his warmth next to her. 

•

Ran is happy to be with Shinichi, even if it means not being physically together and having to survive long distance.

Now she would be lying if she says it doesn’t bother her in the slightest. After they got together and she finds out that Shinichi still has to leave for his ongoing case, her initial thought is that it wouldn’t bother her. She’s grown so used to it by now. It’s not like he’s never coming back, because he always does. After all, they just started dating, and maybe this way they’ll still be in their honeymoon stage for years to come.

They have been doing alright with frequent calls and texts sent to each other. Although she is slightly upset that they can’t physically go out on any dates, hearing Shinichi’s voice always makes everything worth it. She knows she’s going to forget all this as soon as she sees him again.

She does expect Shinichi to be as sad and lonely as she is, but she never asks about it. She doesn’t want him to think that she’s already turning clingy after only a few months into their relationship. And because she is an understanding girlfriend, she never tells him how she feels about it. She has been saying “I love you” more often though, now that she’s more comfortable saying it, which he always happily returned. She never once doubts Shinichi either—he gives her zero reasons to. Besides, they have short meet ups every now and then, and those feel like they are enough for her.

There are certain things that leaves her feeling an extra amount of longing. When she sees couples out and about in the streets, or strolling around the park, or fooling around in the hallway of their school, it breaks her heart a little. She wants Shinichi by her side, to be able to cuddle into his warmth. She wants to walk next to him and hold his hand, to go to the movies and check out cute restaurants.

“I miss you,” Ran mumbles into her mic, only one side of her earphones on. She is lying on her bed, on a call with her boyfriend who is still away, on yet another case. She has to cherish all their calls together because time is all she can afford.

She traces her finger on her phone’s screen, outlining his name that’s currently displayed, yearning to touch him. She can't help but feel disappointed when all she can feel is how hot her phone is. She should probably get a new phone soon. 

“I miss you too. More than words can describe,” Shinichi replies guiltily, sad that Ran is so troubled. He has been trying to ease her pain by sneaking away to call her more often these days. He sees the longing in her eyes, always wondering what he can do for her. He hates it, hates seeing Ran’s face contort into sadness and what seems like disappointment. It never gets any easier. 

If only she knows that they are actually together literally every single day.

“Anyway, how is your day?” Shinichi asked, trying to change the subject to distract her. 

Ran huffs. “Conan-kun left on a weekend camping trip with his class. I’m worried about his safety. They’re elementary students, they’re not supposed to go camping in the mountains yet!”

Shinichi smiles fondly. Yep, he’s definitely on his camping trip all right.

“Also, it is kind of lonely here when he’s not around.” Lonelier, she adds to herself.

“You have nothing to worry about, I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Shinichi reassures, grinning.

“I suppose it’s true. Conan-kun does know how to take care of himself. What are you doing, anyway? Do you have to go soon? Can we switch to video call?” The hope in her voice is unmistakable. He purposely ignores Ran’s questions while wrecking his brain for a believable excuse to not switch to video call. But it is too late, she has already pressed the button that requested for him to accept the call.

Uh oh.

Shinichi curses silently. As soon as their cameras are on, he raises his phone up close to his face, careful to leave the streetlights out of view. “Hi!,” he says, hoping she wouldn’t detect the nervousness in his voice. Ran squints at the blurry screen. She can’t see much, but it is enough to make her whole evening better.

“You know what, Shinichi? It’s okay, you’re probably busy and tired, I understand! Have a good night or morning, wherever you are, okay?” Ran yawns, turning to lie on the other side as she reaches out to switch off her table lamp. “I’m already getting ready for bed anyway. Please stay safe out there. I love you.” 

“NO!” Shinichi yells, before realizing how loud and unnecessary it is. He stops to look around, praying that no one around him is affected by the noise he is making. Ran is decently surprised. “Shinichi, what’s wrong?”

“I, uh, I’m staking out a criminal’s possible hideout. It’s really boring here because nothing is happening so far and it’s probably deserted. Keep me me while I wait?” Shinichi asks sheepishly, belatedly realizing how dumb of an excuse he just gave. Is it even believable in the slightest? “I’m just walking around the place now,” He adds as he quickened his pace. 

Ran yawns but he can see her nodding her head in the dark. “Don’t you have to be aware of your surroundings, though? What if the bad guys creep up on you?”

“You’re right,” he says half-heartedly, not really paying attention to what she’s saying anymore. He’s trying to climb up the stairs as fast as his feet can take him. He is so close.

Ran mumbles something sleepily in return. How she wishes for body heat, but she only had her blanket to make up for the warmth. She closes her eyes, unaware that the line has gone silent. After a few more beats of silence, she hears the front door being unlocked. She sits up, suddenly alert and forgetting about her call with Shinichi. It is definitely not her father, since she can hear his snores very audibly from his room. Is it Conan, coming back from his camping trip a few days early? But—it’s literally the middle of the night, so if it actually is Conan, he has some explaining to do. She tip-toes to the door just to get ready in case it is an actual robber.

As the door unlocks and the intruder enters, Ran’s eyes widen and her hand flails around for the switch to turn one of the lights one as she recognizes the familiar silhouette. It can't be.

“Surprise.” Shinichi is standing there, smiling widely at the sight of his dumbfounded girlfriend.

Ran stares at the boy in front of her for a good while before reaching out for him in a frenzy. “You’re kidding,” she chokes out, wrapping her arms tightly around him, afraid he will be gone again as soon as she let go. 

“I’ve missed you too,” Shinichi sighs, hugging Ran back just as tight. They stand like that, hugging at the door silently, choosing to ignore the fact that her father can very well walk out of his room at any given moment. Shinichi pulls away, frowning, when he realizes that she is crying.

“Hey, don’t cry.” He whispers softly, bending his knees to look at Ran who has her head down. She shakes her head, opting to bury her face in his chest instead. Shinichi run his hands up and down her back, gently kissing the top of her head. “Don’t cry, I’m here.”

Ran looks up, a few droplets of tears streaming down her face. “That’s exactly why I’m crying! You’re back now, for.. God knows how long, and then you’re gonna have to leave me again. Probably in a few hours, or in the morning if we’re lucky,” she cries, sniffling. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Shinichi remains quiet as Ran cries her heart out in silence. Then, he very gently lifts her up, carrying her to the bedroom and setting her down on the bed. “Actually, I have a few days to spend with you.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re right. And I’m not gonna lie to you, I will have to leave again, but not until Monday. So.. I’m yours for the whole weekend.” Shinichi says, hoping for her acceptance, despite how little he is offering her right now.

“The whole weekend?” Her smile is back on her face at this point. Sounds like she will just have to make the most out of this weekend, then. It’s a good thing she doesn’t have anything yet planned. She wipes the tears off of her face. She can’t waste their time together by crying like this. “Oh Shinichi, there are so many places that I wanted to go with you to!”

“We can go anywhere you want,” says Shinichi. That already sounds perfect to him. Truth be told, any moments spent with Ran were perfect. The Where and What weren’t all that important. Like right now. Even in the dim light, he can see how bright she’s smiling. God, all he wanted to do is stare at her and admire her beauty, amongst everything else.

He hates lying to Ran, although it is done to protect her, to shield her. He will have to lie to her some more, but this time, he does not want to make any more promises he can't keep. “It will all be over soon, I promise. I’ll come home for good.” You’re my home, he wants to say.

She has missed him so much—she missed his voice, his scent, his warmth, his presence. She crawls towards him, unable to hide the overwhelming sense of hope that arises after his declaration. “Really?”

“Really.” Ran can feel the tears welling up again. This time, out of happiness. “It hurts so much to not be able to be by your side.”

“I’m here,” murmurs Shinichi quietly as he reaches out to wipe some of her fallen tears away with the pad of his thumb. “... and I’m always watching.” he adds quietly, wrapping an arm around her as he hugs her to sleep.

Ran nods in silence. She has so many things to tell him, but she is content with just enjoying his warmth and presence beside her for now. Truly, nothing can compare to the homey feeling and the familiarity of being next to Shinichi. She lets him hold her to sleep, his voice a lullaby that carries her out of consciousness.

“I’m always with you,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss her forehead, “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

#shinran #dcmk #kudo shinichi #mouri ran #bc they'd be such a lovey dovey couple and y'all know it #melts with ran at soft boi shinichi #where else on earth do u find a man like him?? #Ran is one lucky girl #no Shinichi is LUCKIER to have Ran #fic

[prettypinklass]

I might start posting oneshots on here, like this one. Maybe.

The Queen's Songstress, the Songstress's Queen

Author: Pink

Word Count: 2513

Warnings/Notes: Fluff, Petra Works too Hard, orphans, Dagda OC, implied/mentioned racism, implied homophobia

Prompt: Paired Endings (Intertwined Destinies event from the Fire Emblem Amino)

~♡~

When she had first returned to Brigid, she had acted as a translator for her friend, who despite pleading to join her, knew nothing of the language. 

Now, years later, Dorothea could speak the common language of Brigid as easily as she could Fodlan's. 

"It's because you're such a good teacher, Petra," she teased, after Petra had praised her skills. 

Despite her grandfather's approval, the people of Brigid had been skeptical of their marriage at first. Dorothea's Fodlanese heritage didn't help. Nonetheless, they didn't argue. Their new queen was happy, and that was what mattered.

Now, years later, the people praised them as one of the best pairs of rulers they had. 

Queen Petra worked tirelessly to improve their relationship with Fodlan after declaring independence. Her wife, the Lady Dorothea, used her connections with the Opera to help. It was hard work, but they succeeded eventually. 

Now, Petra lived her life working tirelessly to help her citizens. Everyday she could be found holding public hearings to address their problems, or in her room, signing paperwork, and on some occasions in a meeting, dealing with the other nobles. It was tiring work, but she would endure it for her kingdom.

Dorothea had built an Opera house in the capital city of Brigid, after extensively studying the nature of Brigid's fine arts and music. She ran the place on her own, wrote their plays, and held weekly singing practices that were open to all, where people could gather and and sing together. Her troupe became famous throughout not only Brigid, but Fodlan as well, eventually even receiving audiences from Dagda and Almyra. 

Today in particular had been a hard day. 

The queen had visitors not only from Fodlan, but from Almyra and Dagda as well. The meeting had been… tiring, to say the least. Seeing an old classmate again after so long on strictly professional terms had been… difficult, the man from Almyra was beefy, and loud, which was a stark contrast to the noble from Dadga, who was posh and professional.

Petra had collapsed into her desk chair after the meeting.

Dorothea had been laying on their bed, humming. Her day had been rough as well, having to deal not only with racist participants in the day's open singing practice, but also guide visitors from the foreign countries in the song. Though she had seen one familiar face, it had still been… difficult.

She jumped up when Petra entered though, before her face fell. The queen had sat down at her desk, and immediately reached for her paperwork. 

"Petra…" the singer stood up with a small sigh, walking over, "Come on, you need to get some rest." 

"I don't have time for rest," Petra replied, "I must get this work done…" 

"Love, you're exhausted…" Dorothea sighed, resting her hands on the queens shoulders and  beginning to rub slowly, "Why don't you take a break? Let me sing for you." 

She hesitated, "Are… you sure? I must get this paperwork done…" 

"You can do it later," the songstress insisted, "Take a break, love. You need one."

Petra frowned at her, shifting to face her wife. Dorothea smiled reassuringly at her, and smiled wider when the queen began to relax, "I have a day off tomorrow…"

"You can finish the paperwork first thing tomorrow, and then we can go out together."

It was quiet for a moment.

Petra sighed, and stood up as she gave in, "Okay… Will you sing for me, Thea?" 

"Of course," Dorothea smiled even brighter in response, and pulled her wife over to the bed. The two laid next to each other, as she hummed softly. 

"What song would you like me to sing?" 

"No preference." 

"Hmm… okay," Dorothea sat up, and began humming. The humming went on for a few moments, changing pitch and tune to match a song, and then…

"Reach for my hand," she began to sing softly, "I'll soar away. Into the dawn, oh, I wish I could stay." 

Petra rolled over and smiled at her. 

"In cherished halls, in peaceful days, I fear the edge of dawn… knowing time betrays." 

Her voice was soft, soothing, and before long… the queen had fallen asleep. 

And when she had finished the song, as she was never one to leave something half done, Dorothea fell asleep too.

~♡~

As promised, Petra finished her paperwork early, and Dorothea had dragged her off to see the town shortly afterward. 

People waved as they passed by, and the pair waved back happily. Brigid's capital really was a lively and friendly place.

Just after noon had come, Dorothea brought her wife to the opera house. There was a public singing session today, and even half an hour before it started, people were beginning to gather. 

A certain indigo haired woman was there already, looking around. Dorothea smiled. 

"Shamir!" 

Shamir looked up, and grinned, "Well well. We meet again, kid. Your Majesty," she bowed to Petra, "To what do I owe this pleasure?" 

Petra fumbled for words. She still wasn't the best at Fodlanese…

"This day- er, Today, is my free day. I am not having work to do." 

"Lucky you," Shamir replied, "It's good to see you both again." 

"Am I assuming you came with the Dagda noble?" Petra asked. 

"Fodlan actually," she shrugged, "Mercenary life gets me plenty of jobs. Just so happened I was in town, and the lord was looking for a suitable guard." 

"Interesting," the queen hummed. 

"Are you here for choir?" Dorothea asked, tilting her head to the side with a happy smile. 

"I guess so. Lord Aegir wanted to come and I'm kind of obligated to follow him everywhere unless he specifically says so," Shamir shrugged, "He's talking to some of the singers, along with that guy from Almyra. Nader or something." 

"You didn't tell me Ferdie was the visiting noble!" Dorothea turned to pout at Petra. 

"It never came up," Petra admitted, laughing a little.

"Anyway, I'm going to go find something to do… singing isn't my thing." 

"You joined yesterday," Dorothea blinked at Shamir.

"I was exploring town and got caught up in it somehow," Shamir sighed, "Lord Aegir's over there if you want to talk to him." 

"Alright then… bye!" The songstress waved. Petra waved as well. 

The pair turned, and walked over to the ginger haired noble. 

"Ferdie!" 

Ferdinand turned, and broke into a huge smile, "Dorothea! The ugly maiden!" 

Everyone paused to stare at him. 

Someone in the back began snickering. 

"Uhh…" 

"Ferdie," Dorothea frowned, "Um… Do you know what 'aklos' means Brigid?" 

"Why, I was told it meant lovely!" Ferdinand replied, smiling brightly, "Impressive, right?" 

Dorothea began giggling, as Petra sighed. 

"Ah, Ferdinand… The Brigidian word for 'lovely', is 'akLAS'. Aklos is our word for ugly." 

The noble blinked. 

His face turned pink. 

"B-by the goddess! Please, accept my sincerest apologies!" He bowed, "I have been tricked it seems…" 

"Don't worry about it," Dorothea laughed, "Are you here for choir?" 

"Why yes! I heard from Manuela that you run your own opera house here! She misses you by the way, and is hoping to one day collaborate with your opera." 

"Oh, I would love to! I'll have to send a letter to her!" Dorothea exclaimed happily, "Thank you Ferdie!" 

"But of course! It is my duty to assist!" 

One of the actresses, a young woman, called over, "Miss Dorothea! We're ready to begin!" 

"Oh! That's my cue," Dorothea smiled, and giggled slightly, "Have fun Love," she pecked Petra on the cheek, and waved at Ferdinand, before running up to join the singers at the podium. 

Choir was always a joy for Petra to attend. Not only did she get to hear her wife's beautiful voice, but the act made her feel… closer to others, not only to her Dorothea, but to her citizens as well. The same citizens loved it when she would join them as well. 

Ferdinand sang loudly, and he sounded well enough. Nader on the other hand, sounded like a dying bird. The look Dorothea gave him at the end of the first song would've scared the pants off of even the most fiercest soldier.

He ended up being asked to sing... quietly, so that the others could be heard over him.

Even Shamir participated, though at the request of Ferdinand. She seemed to enjoy herself though, if only for one song. 

It seemed like only a few minutes later when choir ended, though it had been at least an hour. 

"You were great Petra!" The songstress quickly began gushing, "Even better than before!"

"You're making me blush Thea," Petra laughed in embarrassment, "You sounded much better than I did." 

"Even so," she giggled, "Well, what would you like to do now?" 

"Why don't we visit the orphanage?" 

"Sounds like a wonderful idea," Dorothea replied, "Let's head there now, and then we can be home in time for dinner." 

"Right," the queen nodded, and after saying goodbye to Ferdinand and Shamir, they began walking to the orphanage.

~♡~

The orphanage was as lively as ever.

Though the place was small, and the only residents were a few children and their caretaker, it was always lively. The children were often running around and playing together, making noise and sometimes causing chaos. The 4 of them were quite the handful for their caretaker, but they managed. 

A jingle sounded as they entered. 

"Just a moment!" Came a call from the back. A few seconds later, the caretaker appeared, carrying a box. 

"Oh!" She gasped, "Your Majesty, Lady Dorothea! What a pleasant surprise!" 

"Hello Chey," Petra smiled, "We came to visit." 

"The children were just wondering when they would be able to see you again," Chey laughed, smiling, "Children! You have a visitor!" 

Light footsteps were heard immediately. The quick pitter patter of small feet echoed in the building, as a group came tumbling out of the bedrooms.

First came Fiona, a 7 year old. She was quickly followed by the 8 year old, Darrell, who stumbled and tripped onto her. Fiona squealed.

Lily came next, the oldest at age 11, "Hey! Be careful, I'm holding Harry!" 

Harry let out a "Bubba!" and burst into giggles. He was the youngest of the four, being just barely a year in age. Fiona and Darrell fumed at each other.

"Now now,' Chey frowned, walking over to them, "Don't get into a fight. Look who came to visit!" 

"Kween Petwa! Dorufea!' Harry babbled excitedly, "Petwa and Dorufea! Yay!" 

"Q-Queen Petra! Lady Dorothea!" Lily gasped, and did a quick bow still holding the toddler, "It's a pleasure to see you again!" 

"Petra! Dorothea! Hi!' Fiona brightened up quickly and waved. 

"Idiot, it's QUEEN Petra and LADY Dorothea! Don't forget your manners!" Darrell hissed at her. 

"What do titles matter?" She crossed her arms with a huff.

"A lot!" 

"How?" 

"Because-" 

"That's enough," Chey sighed, "No fighting. Apologize to Her Majesty and Lady Dorothea." 

The pair glared at each other. She nudged them.

Darrell was first. 

"I'm sorry Queen Petra, Lady Dorothea…" 

"Sorry…" Fiona mumbled quickly just after him. 

Harry babbled something that nobody understood. Dorothea laughed, and took him from Lily. He squealed happily, and pulled her hair. She winced, but laughed. 

"Your apology is accepted, little ones," Petra knelt down to smile at Fiona and Darrell, "It is a pleasure to see you again." 

The two smiled brightly at her in response. 

"What do you say?" Chey prompted. 

"Thank you Queen Petra!" The two chorused, before running off into the back playfully shoving each other. 

"Ah…" the caretaker watched them run off, "I'll have to scold them later… I'm sorry." 

"Don't worry about it," Dorothea laughed, "You seem to be handling them well." 

"Ah, well… I'm not quite sure how I ended up with four of them. I picked up Lily off the streets and since then… Well I haven't been able to say no to them like that," the caretaker laughed softly, "Will you be staying for a visit your Majesty? Lady Dorothea?" 

"Please?" Lily added with a smile. 

Harry babbled and giggled happily. 

"I'm sure we can stay for a little bit," Petra nodded. 

"Of course," Dorothea smiled brightly, "It would be a pleasure." 

Lily cheered, and Harry babbled. The royal pair followed her into the backroom with a laugh. 

~♡~

The meeting room was silent. 

Dorothea suppressed a sigh. Shamir glanced at her from across the room.

"...and that is why I believe we should cut off trade entirely. I don't mean to be accusing, but recent affairs have proven my suspicions." 

The noble from Dagda would not shut up. He kept going on and on about how Fodlan's recent battles proved them unstable, and their rocky relationship with surrounding areas didn't help. 

"Lord Hanth, please," Ferdinand sighed, "I can assure you with 100% positivity that Fodlan is unified in all ways. I ask that you please refrain from this incessant blabbering about us being unstable, when it is not backed up by factual evidence." 

Hanth scowled, "Of course you would say that, Lord Aegir. You're FROM Fodlan-"

Petra sighed, "Lord Hanth, with all due respect, I can fully support Lord Aegir's claims as witness. Dorothea and I were present for the unification of Fodlan." 

"That is not the only issue!" Hanth snapped, "Her, for example!" He pointed at Shamir, "Why is a citizen of Dagda-"

"I'm from Dagda, yeah," Shamir crossed her arms, "I came to Fodlan as a mercenary. Lord Aegir hired me." 

Ferdinand raised an eyebrow at the Dadga lord.

"We were invaded once-" 

"You started that fight," Dorothea pointed out.

He scowled, "I refuse to do trade until both Fodlan and Brigid have proven their stability. With that, I believe this meeting is over." 

He turned and stomped out. 

"...Geez," Nader sighed, "What a guy." 

Dorothea jumped. She had forgotten about the Almyran general. 

"General Nader, thoughts?" Petra looked over. 

"I got no problem with trade, long as Fodlan doesn't interfere with our merchants," the general shrugged, "Might have to double check with the king on that though." 

"I see. In that case, do what you must," she nodded. 

"...Shamir, are all the nobles from Dagda like that?" Ferdinand asked. 

"Dunno," Shamir shrugged, "I haven't been there in years." 

"Well," Dorothea sighed, "I suppose not trading with Dagda isn't too much of a loss…" 

"I am sure we can manage," Petra nodded, "Ferdinand? Are you confirming a trade with Brigid?" 

"But of course!" Ferdinand smiled, "And I hope we can establish trade with Almyra as well!" 

"Hah! Sounds good!" Nader laughed. 

"Shall we shake on it then?" The nobleman asked. 

"Yes," Petra nodded, and held out her hand. She shook with Ferdinand, then Nader, and then the two shook hands with each other.

It was agreed. 

Ruling a country that once was a vassal to another wasn't easy. Especially not when there were relationships she had to repair with other kingdoms, but maybe… just maybe, she could do it. 

As long as she had Dorothea, the person whom she is said to have loved the most, standing at her side.

~♡~

#LOOK THESE TWO ARE SUPER FCKING CUTE #fluff #petrathea #doropetra #dorothea arnault #petra macneary #fire emblem #fe3h #three houses #fire emblem three houses #Petra works too hard #writing #writing prompt #FE amino #dagda #implied/mentioned racism #implied homophobia #don't worry it's barely mentioned

[lunaticlua]

how do you make a home? // part 5

series masterlist

also available on ao3

a/n: this chapter is probably one of the heaviest of this story. i tried to keep the description to its minimal, but the subject still is a difficult one. so, please be careful and prioritize your mental health as always.

tw: description of parents' death involving gun violence and blood

additional note: the title of the chapter is from 'the valley' by ethan gruska

gif by @toesure

chapter 5: and if childhood defines you, can it ever be behind you?

“there is a wall in my life built by you, you opened a door that a kid shouldn’t walk through” (guiltless – dodie)

The cup falls to ground as her eyes start watering and she blames the tears on the spilled water and broken glass. She rapidly knells down to clean up the mess with her bare hands in an attempt to silence an intruding voice of the past muttering “What did I do?” repeatedly. Before she can hurt herself with the sharp objects on the floor, an unknown hand stops her. Lulu takes more than she should to remember herself of the blonde boy’s presence.

He studies her with regret and concern on his face. But rather than calming her, it triggers the memory she is fighting to suffocate. The person in front of her is no longer JJ, the sixteen years old boy who makes her heart jump and her walls crumple. Suddenly, instead of being in Uncle Joe’s house, where she is safe and sound, she travels back to the place where it all happened, where she lost everything in one night. When she looks up from the chaos on the kitchen floor, she sees him. The man she once knew as dad, her beloved father who was the best man on Earth in her childish mind. The man she now referred to as Paul Jones, the one who murdered her mom.

She nervously gets up and takes several steps back, distancing herself from the tall, lean man. She watches his blood-soaked hands, a recently used gun on his right one and his insane expression. She lowers her eyes and where was the broken glass and spilled water she sees her mother bleeding on the living room’s navy-blue carpet of her childhood house. Falling to her knees, she tries to stop the blood from escaping her mother’s body as she had many years ago without success. She feels the woman who taught how to love and to be loved perishing on her arms.

She glances at her father, murmuring to himself. “What did I do? What did I do?” She tries to stop herself from saying because she knows the result of it. However, she listens to her voice screaming, even though she is aware that she didn’t open her mind. “What did you do? You killed her. You killed my mom!”

When she sees that look of regret and concern on the man’s face which she is too familiar with from her innumerous nightmares and troubling memories, she closes her eyes and puts her hands on her ears, bracing herself for what is about to happen. But the sound of gunshot never comes.

A soothing hand, so much different from the ones who caused all of this, touches her shoulders lightly. A worried but loving voice calling her comes through. When she opens her tired eyes, they meet ocean blue’s ones. She is back to the present time, breathing and free from harm.

“Lulu,” JJ breathes, taking her hands away from her ears and interlocking them with his own. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just appear out of nowhere and approach this subject.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t,” she answers earnestly after a beat. Noticing his growing remorse, she tries to smile, but ends up grimacing.

“I am really sorry. I didn’t think.”

“It is okay.”

“It is not, though. I know that it sucks to be forced to talk about something you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have done this to you.” He moves his thumb in a circular motion, trying to comfort her. “I know sorry doesn’t fix it, but I am. Sorry, I mean.”

“I know,” she moves her eyes to the awaiting mess on the kitchen, thinking she will need to get to it soon. As if reading her mind, he gets up and offers his hands for help. “I’ll clean up this mess and leave you alone, okay?”

“Don’t,” she mumbles, staring at her unlaced shoes.

“What? No, don’t think of contradicting me. It is my fault and I will clean it.”

She inhales and exhales and then look at him again with pleading eyes. “You can clean if you want. But don’t go. Stay, please. I don’t want to be alone.” JJ weighs down his answer for a couple of moments, making sure that he is welcomed, and simply nods. “I will wait for you on my bedroom.”

Ten minutes later, she is sitting on her bed, playing with the golden necklace that used to be her mother’s and Auntie Rita gave to her on her first birthday away from Outer Banks. This little piece of her mother had helped her many times, grounding her. In that moment, her head is at ease but far away, and she almost doesn’t notices the boy entering. He smiles shyly and she responds it by smiling back at him and gesturing for him to sit next to her, which seems to surprise him.

But what genuinely dumbfounds him is her soft speaking words. “I want to tell you. What happened, you know? I want to tell you.”

“Lulu, you don’t have to. I am sorry if I pressured you before, but you don’t have to.”

“JJ, you are not pressuring me. I want to. I really do,” she declares confidently, even though the prospect of telling it scares her.

“Are you sure?”

“No. But I want to, anyway.” He seems hesitant, but motions to her speak. “What do you know?”

He recounts what he had learnt from Pope that day and what heard around town when it happened, choosing the best words he can to not upset her even more. Her father shot her mother and then killed himself in front of his nine years old daughter. In front of her. When he finishes, he sees a pained expression on her face, but, before he can start apologizing, she speaks.

“He was drunk,” she states and stays silent for a minute or two. When she opens her mouth to continue, he can see a single tear escaping her left eye. He moves to clean it before he can think it through, and her glistening eyes seem grateful for his caring attitude. “He used to drink. Not a lot. Just a normal amount on barbecues and parties. I have never seen him drunk. I don’t know why he had so much to drink that night. But he did and he got mad at my mom.

“I was in my room when he arrived. I think I was reading or something dumb like that. I remember hearing them fighting—They didn’t fight normally, you know? They used to argue sometimes, but they rarely screamed at each other. I can see now that my mom was afraid of him, but I never saw it when I was a kid. She… She used to have many secrets with me. Things that made him upset, but she still wanted to do. Like teaching me Portuguese, buying me ice cream before lunch, teaching music to some children around the island. He didn’t like those stuff and she hid it from him, so he didn’t get mad.

“That night, I got really scared because of the fighting. They rarely screamed and they were screaming so much. So, I decided to go downstairs. I was almost arriving on the living room when I heard— When I heard the—,” she stops abruptly, and he takes her hands again. “The gunshot. I run towards them and I saw her there. Pale. Bloodied. In her last breaths,” she hiccups with tears all across her face.

“Lulu, you don’t need to continue.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her head, denying. “I need this. I really do,” he cleans her cheeks with one of his hands and squeezes hers with his other one. “Her heart stopped right after. Then, I looked at him. At my father. He was freaked out and mumbling and walking from one side to the other. I don’t think that he had noticed me there until I spoke. I asked what he had done. I accused him of killing her, which he did do. And then he— He—You know. I was there and I stayed there the whole night. I just couldn’t move or speak or do something. I just stayed there. Our house was a little far away from the others. So, no one heard the gunshots. Uncle Joe found me there the next morning. My mom was supposed to meet him, and she didn’t come.”

Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy when she stops talking. His heart breaks some more with the sight of her. Small, defenseless, crying in front of him. Sensing that she had finished retelling the traumatic event, he asks permission with his eyes to hug her and she nods. Their embrace lasts a couple of minutes, but it seems like hours. With her head placed at the crook of his neck, she truly relaxes for the first time that day. He smells of weed, ocean salty water and sunscreen. Being hugged by him feels like coming home after a long time away and she wants it to last forever. In that moment, JJ realizes that he would be willing to do anything to keep her safe and close to him like this.

“just know you're not alone 'cause i'm going to make this place your home” (home – phillip phillips)

#outer banks #jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank x oc fic #jj maybank x oc #jj maybank fic #jj maybank x reader #jj x oc #jj x oc fic #jj x reader #jj fic #obx netflix #obx imagine #obx fic #obx fanfic #jj fanfic #my fanfics #hdymah fanfic

[gretavanfleetlife]

Only Time Will Tell:

Chapter 7

AN: hey! Sorry about that last heartbreak of a chapter, I’d promise it gets better but I might have to break my promise like reader lol🤭 Anywayy i hope you like the symbolism and metaphorical sense a certain part of this chapter, a bit deeper than it may seem on the surface... lol enjoy babes!!💖💖

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 2,200 words

"I'm sorry."

Sam looks at you, his face miserable. His eyes begin to water and he fights hard to hold back tears. Your heart truly feels shattered. The way he looks at you makes you think of Josh.

"Oh Sammy," you sigh, your words heavy as a side effect of your broken heart. You step towards him and give him a brief hug, as if I'll apologize for what you've done. You know that you still have feelings for him, but you also know that it will only make things worse if you embrace them before he leaves. You pull away from Sam's gentle touch and gaze sadly into his eyes. Looking at him reminds you too closely of Josh, both images being enough to make your eyes water. Ever since you were younger you've absolutely hated seeing any of the boys cry. It didn't happen often, but when it did it almost always moved you to tears. Sam looks at the ground, refusing to meet your eyes.

"Look at me," you whisper. Sam does as you say, lifting his head and gazing down at you. "I-I'll wait for you, ok?" you hear yourself sniffle. Sam nods, running a hand through his long hair.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispers, his voice cracking. He turns, running a hand across his face and walking out of your room. Moments later, you hear him leave your house by the creaking of the front door echoing throughout your home. You sink back on your bed, lying down into the mattress as you begin to think about everything you've caused in such a short amount of time. You bury your face in your pillow and cry softly, eventually falling into a heavy dream by accident.

You dream that you are back at the creek, sitting next to Sam on the smooth rock just as you did last night. You rest your head on Sam's shoulder as his arm is wrapped around you gently. Everything seems to be happening in the same way as it had the night before. When he pulls away from you, you no longer feel disappointed at the loss of contact, because you know what's coming. You look up at him and gaze into his deep brown eyes, dreading to hear him speak.

"Beautiful," he whispers. Your heart falls, remembering what came after Sam uttered that word the night before. He leans in closer to you, but instead of pulling away like you know you should, you close the gap between the two of you and kiss him. Your lips danced sweetly with his, but unlike the night before, it was Sam who pulled away first, quickly ending the kiss. You look at him, confused and suddenly unsure about what's to happen next.

"I thought this was what you wanted," you wonder aloud to Sam. He looks straight into your eyes but doesn't reply, his face a blank canvas void of expression. He leans closer to you again and you brace yourself for another kiss, but are stunned when you feel him suddenly push you strongly into the creek. You crash into the water, the stream becoming as deep as an ocean as you sink like a stone. You swim back to the surface and you splash about the water, unable to stay afloat against the sudden heavy current. You desperately scream out to Sam for help but watch in horror as he stands up from his place atop the rock and walks away through the trees. You are left alone, thrashing about in the water. You feel exhausted from fighting against the crashing waves around you, so you tiredly let the water crash over your head, submerging you completely under the water. You reach your hand above your head as a tired final attempt of hope. You feel water begin to splash into your lungs as you feel a sudden tight grip around your hand. You are pulled strongly out of the water, crashing down onto a soft bed of grass. Sam must have come back for you, you think, coughing up seawater. You look back at the water that you just escaped from and realize that the deep ocean you had almost drowned in has turned back into the shallow stream that ran through the creek.

"You alright?" a familiar voice asks. You glance upward, expecting to see Sam but instead locking eyes with Josh, who sits in soaked clothes beside you. Sam is nowhere in sight.

You startle awake from your dream, breathing quickly as you attempt to relax into the comfortable mattress beneath you. You roll over onto your back and notice that your pillow is still damp with your tears. You rub your eyes and glance at your phone. The time reads 4:38 p.m., but that's not what catches your eye. Instead, you notice a text appear, sent to you about an hour ago.

'Sam: Josh just talked to Jake and Danny without me and convinced them to leave today instead of tomorrow :( '

Your stomach drops as you lie still on your bed, too stunned to move. You reread the message a couple of times before snapping out of your haze and rushing to reply.

'Y/n: What time?' you type. Seconds later, Sam replies.

'Sam: In like 10 mins'

'Y/n: I'll be right over'

'Sam: Hurry'

You roll out of bed and rush to change out of your pajamas, throwing on a loose pair of shorts and a large hoodie. You hurry out of your house and walk quickly over to the Kiszka house. Approaching their driveway, you see Danny and Jake loading a large van with bags and equipment. Danny sees you first, delicately placing a red snare drum into the trunk of the car.

"Y/n!" Danny yells, causing Jake to look to you as well, "I thought you weren't coming!" He pulls you into a giant bear hug, lifting you off the ground and causing you to squeal.

"I fell asleep, but I'd never miss saying goodbye!" you reply with a genuinely wide smile as Danny carefully places you back on the ground. Danny never fails to make you grin like a fool. He mimics your smile as Jake approaches you, holding his precious red guitar in one hand and a reaching out to you with the other. You hug Jake closely as he rubs your back with his free hand.

"We're gonna miss you y/n," he says softly, "don't forget about us while we're gone, ok?" Jake lets you go with a smile.

"Only if you don't forget about me."

"Deal," Jake grins, holding out his hand to shake yours as if to solidify the agreement. You shake his hand but instantly regret it.

"Ew, Jake! Why's your hand wet?" you ask with a disgusted look on your face. You carefully smell the sticky substance on your hand and recognize the scent immediately, laughing in relief.

"I dropped a case of beer when I was loading it into the van. I may have spilled a little bit," he laughs, motioning to the driveway at pieces of shattered glass and a puddle of beer. You shake your head jokingly.

"Clutz," you tease, "where are the other two?"

"Josh and Sam are inside doing who knows what," he says, waving his hand dismissively towards the house.

"Alright, I'll be right back," you declare, walking up the driveway towards the front door. You hold your breath and walk up to the door, already ajar. Just as you are about to walk inside, Josh pushes past you, giving you a short glance before quickly returning his focus to the ground ahead of him. You feel a familiar pang of disappointment return but you let him go, seeing Sam waiting just inside the house. He lets out a heavy sigh of relief when he sees you. You step inside and Sam ruffles his hair nervously while shoving his other hand in his pocket.

"Hey," you begin.

"Hey, I'm glad you made it over before we left, I was starting to get worried," Sam admits.

"Me too, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if you left without saying goodbye."

"Yeah well we shouldn't be leaving today anyway," he complains.

"It's alright Sam, I'm sure Josh has his reasons," you say unconvincingly.

"Pfft, I don't give a shit about his reasoning, he could've asked me," Sam rants, clearly upset.

"It's ok, don't worry about it," you try to calm him, knowing it's definitely your fault that Josh wanted to leave a day early. Sam opens his arms to you and pulls you into a hug. Your heart flutters but sadness still seeps through you. He adjusts his grip on you, pulling you tighter to himself as he buries his face in your neck.

"I'm gonna miss you so fucking much," he says, his voice muffled by your hair. You smile sadly. You rub his back in response, not wanting to speak in fear of your voice cracking unevenly. He lifts his head away from the crook of your neck and you feel his warm breath against your ear. "Promise you'll wait for me?" Sam whispers softly into your ear. You remain still for a moment, unable to avoid remembering the last time that you made a promise. You nod against his chest.

"Of course," you breath softly. He pulls away from you but you can't bring yourself to look at him. He reaches out to you and gently lifts your chin, forcing your eyes to reconnect with his.

"I need to hear you say it," he asks, "please." His eyes are still swimming with sadness, reminding you of your earlier conversation with him.

"I promise, Sammy. I'll wait for you," you whisper.

As you help Sam grab the last of the bags from the house you feel the former uneasy tension between you and Sam drift away. You load the luggage into the van, saying a quick goodbye to Sam before he hops into the car. Recapping in your head, you've hugged three of the four of them goodbye, and you know that the last will be the most difficult. You walk around to the driver's seat and knock on the car window. Josh doesn't open the door right away, and you begin to wonder if he'll even get out to say goodbye before they leave. You're put slightly at ease when the car door opens and Josh steps out, closing the door strongly behind himself and turning to face you. His eyes stare into yours, his face emotionless and impossible to interpret, although you know for certain how he's feeling on the inside.

"Do us both a favor and leave me alone," Josh says urgently in a deep voice. Your heart drops lower in your chest at the harshness of his tone, this is not going to be easy. You shake your head slightly, denying the possibility of meeting Josh's request.

"I know you're upset, and you have every reason to be," you begin, your voice low and desperate, "But I need you to know that I'm going to miss you with every piece of my heart. I'm sorry, you have no idea how bad I feel about this."

"Oh, I understand perfectly how terrible you must be feeling," Josh scoffs, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at you, "I'd even say I'm feeling quite similar myself."

"Right, um sorry," you stumble, feeling idiotic. Of course he knew how you were feeling, how could you say that to him. "Anyway uh, I'm gonna miss you," you stutter, feeling very unsure of yourself after Josh's last comment, "can I... can I have a hug?"

He hesitates for a moment, but eventually opens his arms towards you and you hug him tightly. You close your eyes, feeling tears begin to form and trying not to let them fall.

"Please remember that I love you, Joshie," you whisper into his ear. He pulls away from you.

"Don't call me that," he says, opening the car door and swiftly getting inside. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from crying. You gave Josh that nickname when you were seven years old. Since then, Josh has gotten mad at anyone other than you who called him it. You both know that the name is reserved for only you to call him, or at least it was until now.

"Bye y/n!" Danny calls from the back of the van, bringing you out of your daydream while the car makes its way down the driveway. You cross your arms and wave back at the car. Jake leans over to the wheel and honks the horn, waving to you and earning a serious slap from Josh. You laugh, continuing to wave as the van backs onto the road and drives away. You hear another honk and you giggle at Jake's second attempt at a goodbye. Soon, the van disappears over the horizon. Wiping a small tear from your eye, you begin to slowly walk home in the middle of the road.

Taglist: @aliensforleaders @kiszkaboi @greta-gvf @rogers-wristbands @strawberry-fieldsssss @gretavanqueen @spngvf @goodoldfashionedqueen @mutantpanda54 @allons-ytomyworld @diggrycedric @sammysgirll @rogerinascigarette @thaliamessi @pazmonkey @yesmynameisbelle @a-queen-and-her-throne @grapesarepurple @cherrrywitch @edgeofdrkness @livcappolella @ohsososophisticatedd @lunautica13 @oddolive @daydreamqueenjaycee @jenjenhill @neonslushies @fruityfreddie @izmo16 @gwilsbri @safarimama @thicchardy @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank 💗💗💗

#otwt #otwt fanfic #OTWT #OTWT fanfic #gvf #greta van fleet #sam kiszka #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #danny wagner #gvf fic #gvf fanfic #greta van fleet fanfic #greta van fleet fic

[remedialpotions]

Heya! So, for your four word prompts, how about "I'm not wearing that" and/or "I need to go"? I don't think you've done either of those...?

Thanks for the prompts! The other one will follow (eventually) in a separate post… and wow, this one got away from me a bit, can you still call it a drabble if it’s 1300 words? Whoops… Hope you like it 💕

***

I Need To Go

Harry and Ron had taken to sharing Pigwidgeon during the early months after the war, partly because Harry had not yet been able to bring himself to replace Hedwig and partly because all of their letters were going to and from the same place: Hogwarts to Grimmauld Place and back again. Always eager to make a delivery, the minuscule owl never minded the extra cargo, instead flying enthusiastically into the Great Hall at breakfast and depositing shoddily-folded bits of parchment into Hermione’s and Ginny’s laps. The first Tuesday of October, however, only one letter fell from the owl’s beak next to a plate of buttered toast.

“Oh, no, Pig, did you drop one?” asked Hermione as Ginny unfolded the letter, the little bird landing on her shoulder. “Who’s that from?”

“Harry,” Ginny said slowly, her face draining of color, “but it’s for you.”

Hermione’s head snapped over at Ginny’s rattled voice.

“What? Let me see that.”

Snatching the letter for herself, Hermione began to read, ignoring that Ginny was now nursing a sizable paper cut on her finger.

Hermione, Before you panic, let me start by saying that everything’s going to be fine, but I reckoned you should know that Ron’s in St. Mungo’s - and it’s nothing serious, it’s just that we were in training and I cast a curse and it rebounded and it hit him - I’m SO SORRY - and the Healers say there shouldn’t be any permanent damage and he’ll be fine once he wakes up. I just knew you’d want to know and they say he should wake up and be back to normal (or, back to being Ron, anyway) in a day at the most. I’ll keep you updated. Actually, Ron will, because he’ll be fine, and please don’t worry or do anything crazy. - Harry

Hermione felt like her bones had turned to dust. Harry could sugarcoat it as much as he wanted, but the truth was right there: Ron was lying in St. Mungo’s, cursed and unconscious, and Hermione was thousands of miles away at Hogwarts, trapped there by magical wards and her own obligations. The thought was too much to take. There had been so many times in the past when she had thought that she’d never see him again, that she would lose him before she ever really had him, and now it was happening again.

“It says he’s going to be completely fine-” began Ginny bracingly as Pigwidgeon hopped down to the table and nibbled on a slice of toast.

“I need to go,” Hermione muttered, almost tripping in her haste to vacate the table. Several students stared after her, perplexed, as she rushed out of the Great Hall and up to the third floor. Her feet could hardly carry her quickly enough; what if, in the time it took the the smallest owl in England to fly from London to the Scottish Highlands, something had changed? What if the Healers were wrong? She and Ron had barely even gotten started. Their summer together had been brilliant, even in the aftermath of the war, but they’d been separated now for only a month and this had already happened, and if she lost him-

“Harpies,” Hermione gasped to the stone gargoyle standing guard outside of the Headmaster’s quarters. As she knew it would, the gargoyle stepped aside so Hermione could bolt up the circular staircase and into the office.

Professor McGonagall looked up from her desk at Hermione’s entrance, startled by the sudden intrusion.

“Miss Granger, what’s-”

“Professor,” Hermione began, breathless, “I’m so sorry to ask you this, I know I’m Head Girl and I know I need to be here, but it’s just-” She paused, trying to determine a way to word her request without sounding like a boy-crazed teenager. “Ron’s in hospital, he’s at St. Mungo’s, he accidentally got cursed during training, and I know I shouldn’t be asking this, and it’s completely ridiculous to think I should just be leaving the castle whenever I please, but if there’s any way at all that I could go there, even just for an hour or so - and I completely understand if that’s not acceptable-”

“Miss Granger,” McGonagall repeated patiently, eyes twinkling behind square-shaped glasses. “You’re welcome to use my fireplace.”

“I am?”

“Be back in the morning, please.”

“I - really?”

“Yes, and go on before I change my mind,” added the Headmaster, gesturing toward the fireplace in the back of the office.

“Oh, thank you, Professor, thank you so much, I promise I won’t be long-”

And she was still gushing her gratitude as she scooped up a handful of Floo Powder, stopping only to declare her destination and send herself swirling through the acid-green flames.

Hermione didn’t stop at the receptionist in the lobby of the hospital, instead proceeding directly to the fourth floor - Spell Damage. The mere thought made her stomach churn; this same ward housed the likes of Gilderoy Lockhart and the Longbottoms.

Ron’s room, she learned from a Healer who was passing by with a large tray of potions, was a private one at the end of the hall, and she set off for it, beyond desperate to see him.

To her knee-buckling relief, Ron was awake when she burst through the door, propped up against several pillows in his bed, while Harry sat reading a pamphlet on proper cauldron-cleaning technique in a chair next to him. The pair of them had drastically different reactions to Hermione’s arrival: Ron’s eyes lit up, while Harry looked exasperated at best.

“I told you that everything was fine-” said Harry irritably as Hermione strode toward them.

“And you should have known I wouldn’t accept that,” replied Hermione curtly before turning her attention to Ron. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Ron nodded, a smile breaking through the exhaustion on his features. “I’m all right, this git’s not that good at curses, anyway.”

He was awake, he was alive, and he was already poking fun at Harry. He was, as promised, completely back to normal. Hermione ducked down and pressed a gentle kiss on Ron’s lips, a long-absent warmth flooding through her at the contact; Harry pretended to be deeply interested in various types of scrub brushes.

“How on earth did you manage to get here?” asked Ron as Hermione perched on the edge of his bed.

“McGonagall let me use her Floo,” admitted Hermione. “I might have panicked a bit.”

“Which is exactly what I told you not to do,” Harry chimed in. “Ron, I’m going to go tell your parents that you’re awake now, we’ll probably be back in a few hours, all right?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“And I’m really, really sorry,” Harry added, looking sheepish.

“Yeah, well, you oughta be,” Ron grinned. “See you later, mate.”

The second the door closed, Hermione took the liberty of settling against the pillows next to Ron, her head on his shoulder.

“This doesn’t hurt, does it?” she asked, resting a hand lightly on his chest.

“No, not at all, I’m just tired.” Ron placed his hand over hers, linking their fingers. “And I love you for it, but you didn’t have to come all the way here, I know you’ve got your classes-”

“I can handle a few absences,” Hermione asserted, “what I can’t handle is-” She broke off, unable to put her worst fear into words. “I just needed to be here.” She felt him exhale, then touch his lips to the top of her head. “I just have to be back by tomorrow morning.”

“So I have a whole day with you?” Ron said brightly. “Brilliant, maybe I should get cursed more often.”

***

you can find more four word prompts here!

#trademarkblue #four word prompts #rhr #rhr fanfiction #romione fanfiction #I used both tags just for you TM #my writing

[three-nerds-and-a-romance]

Conflict and resolution

There wasn’t a single one among them who would suggest that moving in together hadn’t been a good idea.

But that wasn’t to say that there hadn’t been… complications. At least to start with.

 -----

Eva, her affection so boisterous, even aggressive, unabashed and unannounced, against Jack, so easily startled, so reactive and defensive.

A bloody nose, an elbow still frozen mid-blow, yelling.

Ris, accustomed to breaking up fights among siblings, but not quite used to not being the authority.

More shouting, general confusion, and the one sensible suggestion that everyone take some time to cool down.

An hour’s careful peace, a dinner-table conference.

Blame leveled, but just as quickly suppressed.

Boundaries formalized, warning signals established, a declaration of intent made.

Tensions finally broken, cocoa served.

A cuddle pile on the couch, by mutual agreement.

 -----

Other arguments were more subtle, lasted much longer.

 -----

Ris was… concise. Sometimes frustratingly so. Not seeing the need to say anything, she frequently said nothing. Texts were often short and clipped, with little indication to tone.

Eva was… perceptive. Just not always accurately. Hyper-attuned to signs of aggression, she could respond in kind as easily as in tears. A too-short text--or no response at all--may as well have been a slap in the face, for all the arguments it started.

Out of all the fights they’d had, this was the hardest to detect--manifesting in a hundred different minor scuffles, a hundred different apparent causes, a hundred iterations of “I thought you said--”

It had taken some outside help, but they’d eventually come to an arrangement. Some stock phrases had been established, some basic scripts for this is short but not in anger. Acceptance was practiced, as well as patience (though that was the hardest part).

Flare-ups still happened, sometimes, but not to the extent that they had.

 -----

One argument in particular blindsided nearly everyone.

 -----

It was supposed to have been movie night, but Jack had got stuck at work for almost two hours, waiting for his replacement to show up. By the time he got home, already hungry and more than a little aggravated, Ris and Eva were curled up on the couch together, watching one of their favorite shows on Ris’ laptop.

“Jack!” Eva yelled, with her usual level of over-enthusiasm. “You’re back!”

“Yeah.” Jack made a beeline towards the kitchen and rifled through the fridge for anything vaguely edible.

“Nichols again?” Ris barely inclined her head towards the kitchen, by way of greeting.

“Yeah.”

“He ever been on time?”

“Nah.” Cold pizza in hand, Jack shuffled off towards the bedrooms.

“Hey, wait!” Eva called. “Aren’t you gonna come have movie night with us?”

Jack barely stopped. “You guys have already got a show going.”

“I mean yeah, but that’s just because we were waiting for you.”

“I’ve got the movie pulled up in another tab,” added Ris.

“Honestly, it’s fine. I’m kinda tired anyway. Just watch without me.”

“Aw, but it’s not the same without you.”

“Group movie nights do rather necessitate the entire group being present.”

Jack tried very hard to avoid eye contact with either of them. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“Jack, is something wrong?”

“I’m just tired. It’s not a big deal.”

“Well, we could always watch it tomorrow.”

“Yeah, my meeting got cancelled so i’m open all evening.”

Jack shook his head, frustrated. “It doesn’t matter. You guys do whatever, you’ll get along fine.”

“Well not without you!”

“You did before.”

The words dropped into a sudden, deafening silence, interrupted only by the ending theme of Ris’ show, long since forgotten.

Eva broke it first. “Jack, that’s not--”

“Look, let’s not even pretend here. I was--I came in later. You two were already--you didn’t need me then, you were just fine, just the two of you. And me, I’m not--I’m just--”

Ris could move surprisingly fast when she wanted to. Both Eva and laptop were deposited rather unceremoniously on the couch, and suddenly she was in front of Jack, hands on his shoulders and face full of disbelief. “You’re just a member of this relationship is what you are.”

Jack just huffed angrily, throwing her hands off of him. “I’m a third wheel is what I am.”

Ris just sputtered for a second, taken aback. “You--What? Jack, we share a house! Do you think that’s something we’d ever have asked you to do--move in with us--if we thought you were a third wheel? If we didn’t think you were as much an essential part of this relationship as anyone else? If we didn’t value and care about you and want you to be as happy as you could be--as happy as we could make you--if we didn’t want to spend time with you?”

Jack had gone completely stone-faced. “Well then I’ll be sorry to disappoint.”

Eva chose this moment to detach herself from the couch, and to attach herself suddenly to Jack’s middle.

Jack hissed and half-turned, startled, one hand raised--

Eva ducked, and Ris’ hand shot out to intercept his. “JACK.”

“Look, just--” Jack tugged at his captive wrist, but to no avail. “Just… Just leave me alone, okay? I don’t-- I don’t want--”

Ris just captured his other hand in hers, holding both just slightly above his head. “Jack.” She wasn’t angry, exactly, just… firm.

Jack struggled, sputtering, for a few more seconds, then abruptly deflated. “I’m not supposed to be here,” he said finally, sounding almost defeated. “You two were perfectly fine without me, and you’ll be even better off when I leave.”

“That’s not even close to true,” said Eva, still from the vicinity of his rib cage. “And you know it.”

“She’s right, you know.”

Jack’s face scrunched up, and he refused to look at either of the girls. “I don't… I don't think I do,” he said miserably.

Ris sighed, then pulled Jack’s hands down to rest on her shoulders. She leaned forward, touching their foreheads together, and stayed silently for several seconds. “Well,” she said finally, “that's why we're here, now isn't it?”

Jack just nodded silently, and let himself be led back towards the couch.

Eva ran ahead to clear off the laptop and snack bowls, then once Ris and Jack were settled down she flopped herself on top like a warm (if slightly bony) human blanket.

Slowly, gradually, the tension fell out of Jack’s shoulders, the defensive jut out of his elbows and knees. Finally, after a long, long while, he spoke. “Eva?”

“Hmm?”

“I'm… I’m sorry. I almost… I don't want to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you. But I still--if Ris hadn't been there--”

“Hey, hey. Shhhhh.” Eva patted rather clumsily at his face. “You don't gotta beat yourself up over it. I know part of it was just that I startled you. I picked a bad time, you couldn't hear me coming, and I didn't give warning. And I'm not gonna get mad at you just for being startled.”

“That's not the point though. The point is Ris shouldn't have to be there. It shouldn't--”

Ris’ hand, heavy on the top of his head, startled him into silence. “The point is that out of all the things that could have happened, only one of them did. And beating yourself up over all the others isn't gonna help you now.” Jack tried to interject, but Ris just kept going. “That startle response of yours is gonna need working on, sure. But that's gonna take more work to fix than is gonna get done tonight, and go no faster for you feeling guilty over it. So what’s important right now--” She extricated herself from underneath the other two, and went to fetch the laptop. “--Is that you sit down here with your two girlfriends who love you and we watch this freaking movie. Because I for one have been looking forward to finally showing you this.”

As everyone settled down with snacks and blankets, Jack suddenly had a moment of realization. “Wait. Where the heck did my pizza go?”

“Oh yeah. You kinda… threw it.” Eva gestured vaguely toward the hallway. “When I startled you. It kinda just. Went flying.”

Curious, Jack wandered over. Sure enough, there was the pizza, lying cheese-down in some sad corner and looking about as dejected as a pizza can look. “Hmmm.” After a moment’s consideration he turned back towards Eva. “It’s been way more than five seconds, hasn’t it?”

“Almost certainly.”

“Drat.” He turned again to stare at the depressing tableau. “That was the last slice.”

#a three-for-one drabble deal #playing around with a couple different styles #Ris #Jack #Eva #poly fluff #drabble #wow i abandoned this blog for a while but i'm back now

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Three

Thank you guys for your patience, if I haven't been replying its because I haven't been getting on tumblr for a hot minute but I am back now!!

This is part 1 of 2 of Seventy-Three, part 2 will be up in tomorrow night.

I love y'all, thank you so much!!

Words: 4.8k

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of drug abuse, violence, inappropriate sexual behavior

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“I am going to kill you!” I shout, chasing Stevie and Slash over the hotel beds with Duff eventually tackling me when they lock themselves into the bathroom.

“You’re the one who ate the brownies, Viv! It’s common sense not to do that!” Steven tells me from the other side of the door.

“Your ass is grass and I’m going to mow it!” I yell back.

“No one’s mowing ass!” Duff tells me. “We’re just gonna wait for it to pass." He says in reference to my inevitable high.

“I’m gonna puke.” I insist, pushing him off of me.

“D-Do you feel sick?” He asks me, worried, and I open the door of the bathroom, Steven and Slash peeking their heads out of the shower from behind the curtain.

“No, I’m gonna make myself throw up so I don’t trip balls.” I explain.

“Ew.” Slash mumbles.

“Viv, no, it won’t be that bad.” Steven assures me as I kneel over the toilet, and Duff pulls me up.

“It’s not like it’s gonna kill you, Viv, alright, just stay in the room and let it run its course. Don’t do that to yourself.” He tells me, motioning to the toilet and I raise my brows.

“Just go lay down and relax.” Slash adds.

“Fine.” I state, stepping out of the bathroom.

"So, you've got this handled." Stevie starts to Duff. 

"Yeah?"

"We're going back down to the bar." Steven declares, pulling Slash to the door with him. 

"Dude, what? They were your brownies." Duff tells him. 

"That she ate without asking." Steven points out. 

"I was hungry!"

"Then you go to McDonalds! You don't eat brownies you find in our room!" Steven replies. 

"Alright, okay, you two go. I got this." Duff sighs. 

"Thank you. Bye." He replies and they leave us, Duff shutting the door behind them as I lay down, getting under the covers and turning the TV on, Looney Tunes playing as Duff steps to the bed.

"You can go back downstairs, I'm sure I'll be fine. I don't even feel anything." I mumble and he looks at me, pointedly. 

"No, I'm staying." He states, taking his jacket and boots off, getting in to bed with me, sitting up against the headboard as I lay my head in his lap.

A few minutes later, I'm getting out from under the covers because it's rubbing against my skin too hard.

"You okay?" Duff asks me when I go to pull my shirt over my head. 

"My freaking skin hurts." I reply and he raises his brows. 

"It's the brownies."

"It's not the brownies." I reply, suddenly freezing when I make eye contact with Daffy Duck, catching him staring at me through the TV, and feel feathers against my fingers. 

"What're you doing?" Duff asks me and I realize I'm rubbing my finger tips together on both hands, and when I look at him, another realization comes to mind. 

"If you combine 'Daffy' and 'Duck' you get 'Duffy'." I tell him and he raises a brow. 

"Y-Yeah?"

"Or 'Dack'. I feel like this is a perfect time for you to tell me my favorite joke." I tell him and he raises his brows. "'Paint my house'." I mock his voice, giggles consuming me once I'm done and he laughs with me.

"Viv--"

"--I'm kinda hungry."

"You ate five brownies, babe." He reminds me.

"Pot brownies don't count as food." I state, reaching for the phone. "I'm getting room service." 

"No, no," he stops me, chuckling, grabbing the phone from me. "You do not want to get food while you're high and hungry. You'll order stuff you've never even heard of and we'll be murdered for running up the bill."

"We can just get Doc to pay for it." I shrug, going for the phone in his hand. 

"Which is why it's not a good idea." He explains.

"If he gets his panties in a wad over room service he can just eat a brownie and he'll feel fine." I snatch the phone from him and dart for the bathroom.

"Vivian, baby!" He calls, opening the bathroom door before I can close it but it's too late, I'm dialing the number for room service, swatting Duff's hand away, though the movement seems as if it's delayed--at least my vision is delayed, or my mind, I don't know.

"Hello?" The man on the other line picks up and I furrow my brows, the fear that he knows I'm high infiltrating my mind. "Hello?" He repeats and I hang up and drop the phone. 

"What if he tells my parents?" I ask myself, trying to stay calm as anxiety rises.

"W-What?" Duff asks me, confused.

"Dad will kill me. Mom--oh, God, mom will never let me live it down." I push past him to pace in the room and he furrows his brows. 

"Viv--"

"--How do I even begin to explain to my parents I'm on drugs. Does pot even count as a drug? It's natural--so is fucking arsenic but do you see anybody putting that shit in brownies?" I ask myself. "I'm going to hell." I conclude, tears coming to my eyes. "I'm going to hell." I repeat, my voice cracking. 

"Viv, you ate them on accident, you're not going to hell for accidentally getting high." 

"I want Nikki." I say next, my heart beat beginning to hammer.

"If he finds out you're like this, we could get in trouble, Viv." Duff tells me.

"I want Nikki." I repeat, my breathing getting more frantic.

I stare at Fred, Doc, and Rich Fischer...and Bob Timmons, rolling my jaw as they look at me pointedly, waiting for me to say something in response. Anything.

“Are you gonna say anything?” Doc finally asks me and I lick my lips.

“What the hell am I supposed to say, Doc?” I ask him, furrowing my brows a little. “I-I’ve tried to talk to him about it a million times the past three years and he refuses to acknowledge he has an issue.” I state.

“Because he feels like he’s got nothing to lose.” Doc informs me. “I know you two aren’t on good terms, anyway, but, Vivian, we can’t have one of our guys nearly falling out on stage on smack. That’s not good press.”

“Since when the hell do we care about good or bad press?” I laugh humorlessly.

“Since I don’t want Nikki to fucking die on this tour.” Doc snaps.

“Can’t make money off tickets if the bassist dies and there’s no band to tour, anymore, right?” I ask him, poking my lip out sarcastically for a moment and he glares at me.

“I’m not in it for money.” Fred cuts in, seriously, a genuine look of worry on his face. “He’s like a brother to me. I’m not fucking in it for the money. I just don’t wanna see him dead.”

“We’re already getting a divorce so what the hell is it gonna do to threaten divorce if he doesn’t stop shooting up?” I ask them, raising my brows.

“I promise, it’ll get his attention.” Fred assures me.

“Do you know something that I don’t?” I cut my eyes at him. “Because all I’ve heard is how ready he is to get away from me and be free.”

“Just talk to him.” Fred ignores my question, which confirms that whatever shit Nikki feeds me about wanting to leave me as soon as possible is all bark with no bite behind it.

“What’s in it for me?” I ask them.

“The gratification of knowing you’re doing what Jesus would do.” Doc sarcastically replies.

“Jesus would exorcise him.” I bite back.

“I promise we haven’t ruled that option out yet.” He sighs out.

That was the first of many “what’re we going to do about Nikki?” meetings on that tour. Nikki had gone on high as hell--thinking no one noticed--and nearly passed out after flipping down the stage and taking way too long to get back up, and when he did get up, he nearly fell off the stage and could barely keep his eyes open. They had to remedy his stupor with a few bumps of coke during Tommy’s drum solo.

He got up in arms if anyone tried to confront him about it, brushing it off like he was just really tired that night, so they called me up to bat.

I guess they forgot I couldn’t talk to him about anything without it turning into a fight--especially not about his heroin addiction.

"So, even though we're separated and he's your client, you're leaving it up to me to convince him to get sober?" I clarify. 

"He's not doing himself any favors, Vivian, you know that. This isn't just affecting your marriage." Doc tells me. 

"Um, yeah, I've been trying to tell you that for years now but the second it turns into him risking the loss of money going in to your pockets you're all about getting him some fucking help." I snap, standing up. "Thank you for confirming you're the piece of shit I was afraid you were." 

"Vivian, wai--"

"--Go fuck yourself, Doc. You're lucky I don't fucking fire you." 

I leave the meeting with Fred at my heels. 

"Viv, wait." He grasps at my wrist and turns me to face him, making me flare my nostrils with frustration. 

"I'm not talking to him, Fred."

"Vivian, he's more likely to listen to you than any of us."

"Are you kidding me?! He'll laugh in my face!" I give up and raise my voice, hoping it'll get my point across since they seem to not understand english when it's spoken calmly and quietly. 

"Viv, just try it. Just once. Please." He begs.

"Fine."

I already felt like it was my job to fix him, and having that responsibility of being the only one capable of getting Nikki to slow down only added to that burden that I knew right away I'd be unable to bear but tried to do so anyway.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I was locked out of mine and my husband's room. I accidentally left the key in there before I left and he doesn't have his with him, either." I tell the receptionist at the front desk of the hotel.

"Do you have any ID?" She asks me and I pull out my license, smiling.

"Here you go." I show her. "Vivian and Nikki Sixx, but the room name is probably under Doc McGhee." I add and she flips through bookings for a moment before she nods. 

"Got it." She tells me, opening a drawer and pulling a spare out. 

"Thank you." I tell her politely, taking the key and heading to the elevator. 

"Enjoy your night." She replies. 

"Thanks, you too." I grin to myself mischievously, ready to piss on Nikki's parade. 

I get up to his room and unlock the door, smelling sweaty clothes, vomit, possibly urine, definite shit, semen, smoke, heroin, and coke.

"Ew." I mumble, seeing that he is nowhere to be found. 

I immediately start shuffling through his things, every pant pocket, every compartment in his suitcase, under the bed, in the drawers, under the mattress, in the pillow cases, in the bathroom, the closet, under the dresser, under the TV stand, the night stand, behind the bed, behind wall paintings, everywhere, and find absolutely nothing. 

"You've got to be kidding me." I say to myself, looking at the disheveled room. "If I were Nikki Sixx where would I hide my stash?" I say next…an idea popping into my mind. "The last thing I'd think anyone would suspect I would even touch." I answer myself, going back to the nightstand drawer, opening it back up to see a bible.

I open it and find the jackpot. 

I don't know where he found the time to hollow it out and put a baggie of china white and a small bindle of coke inside but I don't have time to think about it. 

"Really should have taken the expensive stuff with you, baby." I state, taking the china white out and pouring the powder into the toilet before throwing the baggie away, doing the same with the coke. 

I go to fix everything the way I found it but I'm stopped by the sound of the door knob being unlocked. 

I dodge into the closet, shutting the door as best as I can, hearing the room door swing open, and the sound of Nikki stumbling in, laughing while another woman giggles, making my heart hammer in my chest. 

"What's wrong?" I hear her giggling come to an abrupt stop. 

"I don't feel good, take a rain check." He brushes her off, and I hear him walk around the room, probably noticing it looks like a tornado hit it, worse than how he left it. 

"I thought we were gonna have some fun, though." I hear the pout in her voice.

"I'm sure Vinnie would take you up on that. He's across the hall." He sounds even more disinterested by the second, aggravation in his tone, but I don't believe it's because her. 

"Fucking rockstars." She complains, stomping out and slamming the door. 

"I can smell your perfume from here, Viv." He says, and I hear him kick some stuff out of his way before the sound of him sitting on the bed. 

I roll my eyes and step out of the closet, smiling at him innocently. 

"What the fuck are you doing in here? How'd you even fucking get it?" 

"I got a key." I inform him. 

"What are you doing here?" He asks again and I go to speak but can't, not knowing what lie to come up with.

I hesitate for too long, giving him too much time to think about it.

"Oh, you didn't." He sneers, before quickly walking to the nightstand, opening the drawer and grabbing the bible before he opens it to see it's empty. "God damnit, Vivian!" 

By this time I'm already almost at the door, within arms reach, but he's rushing to me and grabbing my hair, pulling me back, causing me to cry out before he's shoving me to the bed. 

"Where did you put it?!" He demands and I take deep breaths, staring at him. 

"I flushed it." I admit honestly and his face turns red, his fist balling up at his sides. 

"You did what?" He shakily asks again and I sit up.

"I. Flushed. It." I repeat. 

"Do you realize how much money that shit costs?!" He outbursts and I move to get off the bed, but he grabs my arm roughly so I can't get away. 

"Let go of me." I warn him, trying to get out of his grasp. 

"Answer me!" He barks at me.

I don't say another thing, my foot jutting out to kick him off of me, hard.

"Trust me, I know how much money that shit costs because you've been prioritizing it over our other finances for the past five years!" I argue back. 

"You fucking bitch!" He screams as I go for the door again.

"You strung out junkie!" I yell back.

The lamp shatters against the door when he throws it, the only light in the room is now coming from the bathroom and I turn to face him, anger growing in me at the fact he threw a lamp at me over something so stupid.

I'm taking my heel off and throwing it at him next before turning back around to leave, but when the blade of his switchblade lands a foot away from me, in the carpet, I get fed up.

I lunge at him, the two of us hitting the hotel floor with a heavy thud, my nails clawing at his bare chest before he shoves me off of him and grabs my wrists, the two of us in a stare off, catching our breath. 

"I'm only here because I'm worried about you, asshole!" I outburst at him."Your health is going to shit and--"

"--Oh, for fucks sake, Viv, when I die everything's going to you so don't act like you're not foaming at the mouth for me to finally croak." He snaps at me, pulling himself onto the bed, laying on his back.

"If I were eagerly awaiting your death I wouldn't be flushing anything to keep you away from it."

"As if I won't call up a dealer the second you get the fuck out. Speaking of which: get the fuck out." He motions to the door and I stand over him. 

"I'm not done talking."

"I am."

"Good, then you won't argue when I say that you need to slow down because Doc's getting uneasy due to that stunt you pulled last night." 

"I was tired."

"You were high."

"They don't know that."

"They sure do know that, they just haven't confronted you themselves because they don't need you going at them like a rabid dog." 

"Bullshit."

"There was a meeting. They even brought in Bob Timmons, Nikki." I reply and he closes his eyes and lets out a sharp breath before he sits up. "They were hoping maybe us talking about it might encourage you to put your health as a priority." I add, leaving out "get sober or get divorced," deciding that's the last thing he needs to hear, and he nods. "I know it probably won't do much, but, Nikki, we're really worried--I'm really worried." 

"We've had this conversation how many fucking times, Vivian?" He scoffs out, looking up at me. 

"I'm not an idiot, Nikki, you're not okay. You don't look good, you don't smell good, you didn't sound good--"

"--Are you done?" His voice gravels out, unamused, and in denial. 

"Nikki."

"I don't look good because I'm tired, I don't smell good because I haven't showered yet, and you don't know shit about music so who the fuck are you to tell me if I sounded good or not?" 

"You realize I'm not that naive little pipsqueak that just wanted to keep the peace and went along with whatever you said years ago, right?" 

"At least you knew how to keep your fucking mouth shut unless I wanted it open for reasons that had nothing to do with talking." He grumbles. 

I glare at him a moment longer and exhale.

"Tell your dealer I said 'hello'." I yield, grabbing my other shoe, leaving in defeat, holding back the tears leaking to my eyes. 

"The fuck's going on?" Izzy asks us as Steven, Slash and Duff look like deer caught in headlights, interrupted as they try to coax me back into the room.

"I'm too high." I state, panicking, and Izzy furrows his brows.

"You're what?" He asks me, looking at the guys. "She's what?"

"Too high." I repeat.

"Who is?" Axl asks, approaching us with a beer in hand, obviously not prepared for what he's about to find out.

"I am." I say at the same time, Steven says, "nobody."

Everybody's at a stand still for a moment, all of us staring at each other before Axl starts in. 

"She's what?!" He demands while Slash and Steven scramble to explain.

"Well, she, like...ate something and now--"

"--Don't tell me she ate those fucking brownies you two have been smuggling." He tells them and Slash slowly puts his sunglasses on to avoid direct eye contact as Stevie stutters out:

"Uh-Um, w-well...she had like five and it was a complete accident." 

"Five?!" He shouts next and I slowly back away as they become further occupied, darting down the hall and turning the corner, hearing Duff say, "wait, Viv!", making my feet go faster. 

The next morning is spent on the phone with Sharise while she goes over last minute wedding details for the date set for the one day the band has off next week. 

"She told me she wants bright pink bridesmaids dresses." I tell Vince, raising a brow.

"Yeah, I helped her pick them out." He smugly replies, knowing I was dreading the idea of looking like a cupcake.

"I hate you."

"I love you." He sarcastically states, leaning back in his chair at the breakfast table in the hotel's cafeteria. 

"Where the hell is everybody else, we're outta here in 20 minutes." Fred tells us and I raise my brows.

"Being that Tansy and Sparkie and Nikki were all up doing God knows what last night, I'm assuming they aren't even aware what year it is, currently." I reply to him, drinking a sip of orange juice.

"And what about Guns?" He asks next. 

"Heck if I know." I tell him and he groans, rubbing his forehead. "Okay, fine, I'll go get everybody rounded up. K?" I offer, standing.

"Thank you." He says to me as I walk to the elevator. 

Once I get to our floor, I start at Tommy's room, banging on the door until I hear, "What?!" from the other side.

"Get up, we leave in 20 minutes!" I say back, going to Tansy and Sparkie's room, knocking at the door.

It opens within seconds, Sparkie, completely naked, standing at the door with his brows raised.

I gag at the sight of him wearing nothing.

"We're leaving in 20 minutes." I tell him neutrally.

"I'll wake Tans up." He replies, smirking at me and I go to turn away but he's grabbing my arm. "You thought about what I said?" He asks me and I roll my jaw. 

"Mmm, still thinking on it." I don't even hide my sarcasm and he licks his lips. 

"Think a little harder, baby, because I almost let it out when we were hanging out last night." He informs me and my blood runs cold. "The longer you wait the easier it's gonna start wanting to just slip out without a second thought." He adds, shutting the door in my face and I let out a defeated breath, squeezing my eyes closed for a second and rubbing my forehead. 

When I turn to walk down to Steven's room, he and Slash are coming out, leaning on each other, both of them wearing sunglasses to shield their hangovers, dragging their luggage along behind them.

"Is Axl, Izzy and Duff up?" I ask them as I pass by. 

"I don't even think Axl slept. Izzy's trying to shoo away some girl and Duff's trying to finish packing." Steven replies flatly, obviously tired, and I go to Duff's room, knocking a few times before he opens the door. 

He opens it and his eyes light up.

"There you are." He says, stepping back to his suitcase that's on the bed as he starts tossing his belongings in.

"Yeah, I got up earlier for breakfast." I reply, grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste out of the bathroom.

"I figured." He states, running a hand through his hair before rubbing his eye. "Um, Izzy and Axl just left, I think, and I'll be down in a second, so." He informs me and I nod.

"Okay, I'm gonna go grab my stuff from my room." 

"K." He replies as I leave, going across the hall to unlock my door and gather my stuff. 

The door, that I left crack, is soon opening again and I think it's Fred or Doc or one of the guys, but when I look up from my suitcase to see Sparkie, I feel sick.

"You do realize sexual coercion is rape, right?" I blatantly ask, wanting him to know good and well what he's doing. 

"Not if it's consensual." He shrugs and I roll my jaw and zip up my bag.

"It's not consensual if you're having to blackmail me into doing it." I bite back, shoving past me to get out of the room, and I run smack dab into Fred, and pray he didn't hear our exchange. 

He opens his mouth to speak, quickly halting when Sparkie comes out behind me, smirking.

"Morning." He says to Fred. "Vivian." He more so sneers, heading to the elevator.

"The fuck is that about?" Fred asks, referring to Sparkie being in the room with me.

"Um, he was helping me pack." I lie, knowing if I tell him the truth he'll be arrested for murder.

"Right." He looks at me with unsure eyes before brushing it off. "We're loading up." 

Fred was a damn good actor.

The only thing keeping him from beating the shit out of Sparkie, was knowing when he told Nikki later on that night, Nikki would do a worse number on the bastard than he would.

"Wow, I can actually run a brush through it." I comment to Duff, combing out his hair before he picks up a can of hair spray to tease it a little.

"Extra conditioner. Who'da thought." He adds, grinning at me like a little kid.

"Viv, can you do this?" Stevie asks next, a slight whine to his voice.

"What is it?" I ask, stepping to him in the dressing room. 

When I see what he means, I look at him, unamused.

"Steven Adler. You know how to lace your pants up." 

"No, these are hard to do because the string is almost too big for the little holes they go through." He pleads his case, raising his brows. "You have tinier fingers, plus you're not fighting off an everlasting hangover and coke jitters."

I look down at his pants, seeing very well he's not wearing underwear, and take a deep breath.

"I'll keep my hands to myself, alright? I promise." He assures me, tucking his hands behind his back. 

"It's not your hands I'm worried about." I mumble, rolling my eyes.

I end up having to crouch to get eye level with the laces, and when the door opens up to reveal Axl, and I'm on my knees with my hands on the strings keeping Steven's penis separated from my face, it looks assbackwards--well, blowjobbackwards. 

"Can you stop blowing my band?!" Axl's meltdown tone on full effect and I look at him, wide eyed.

"I'm not blowing anybody!" I snap. 

"Except Duff." Slash mumbles with a little chuckle and Izzy finds humor in it as well. 

"Axl, dude, she's just helping me with my pants." Stevie defends me, raising his brows. "Besides if she was blowing me that'd be our fucking business."

"What did you just say to me?" Axl hones in on Steven, his eyes sharply narrowing, his jaw tightening. 

"I said, if she was sucking my fucking cock it would be mine and her's business--ya know, since we're both fucking grown-ass adults and you can't tell us what the fuck to do?" 

"You're in my fucking band, Steven, so yeah, actually, I believe I can tell you--"

"--Guys, don't fight." I say, standing up and crossing my arms. 

"--You can't tell me shit!" Steven outbursts. "Just like you can't tell Duff shit! He's a big boy and Viv's a big girl--what goes on between them doesn't concern any of us, especially not you." Steven pushes me out ot the way so he can stand nearly chest with chest with Axl. 

"Axl, Stevie, c'mon, now." Duff says, gently pulling me behind him as he steps to the guys, slowly urging them apart. 

"It does concern me because it's affecting Guns N' Roses." Axl hisses. 

"You act like she's fucking everything up, Axl! Just because he was late for one fucking rehearsal--"

"--A studio session, soundcheck, and, one fucking rehearsal." The red head snaps and I look at Duff, confused.

I didn't know he missed a studio session and soundcheck for me at one point...the look on Duff's face says that Axl was supposed to keep quiet about the studio session mishap and soundcheck.

He looks pissed.

"And I said it wouldn't happen again." Duff cuts in.

"Why can't you just back off?" I ask next without another thought.

"Because you spreading your legs is fucking up my band, Yoko!" Axl doesn't hesitate, and Steven's shoving at his shoulders, sending him shuffling back, catching himself on the closed door.

Just as Axl goes to get back at Steven, Duff intervenes, holding at Axl while I get in front of Steven and face him, keeping him from taking advantage of Axl being held still. 

There's a loud knock at the door and Doc peeks his head in.

"You're on." He tells the guys, shutting the door back.

Axl shoves Duff off of him and storms out while Steven ties his pants since I fixed the laces, and huffs out a breath.

"Izzy, either straighten your fucking buddy out or I will. I've about had his shit." Stevie threatens. 

Axl and Steven butted heads more than anybody in the band did at that time. Steven couldn't stand Axl's uptight arrogance, and Axl couldn't understand Steven's nonchalance. 

I think that's why it was so easy for Axl to give up on Steven when his drug abuse got so bad--he was tired of trying to understand Steven when he was decently sober, trying to understand him putting drugs before the band would have exhausted him to the point of no return.

They just couldn't ever get in tune with one another.

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

Ever punch someone? (couldn't think of a question that would be so Iconically Mine it would be clear it was me even on anon, so I'm skipping the anon part)

Punched? I don’t think what I did would be considered punching... It’s kind of a long story, and I’m mildly ashamed of what I did. Mildly. 

Flashback to when I was 12 years old. During the summer in my country kids used to go out to the streets in the afternoons armed with water balloons and target innocent victims or start water balloons wars in the neighborhood, it usually was a boys vs girls kind of thing. So, early in the afternoon, we would go to war, then we would go back home and get changed, and then we would go out again to play. Anywho, there was this one boy in my neighborhood who had a crush on me. I wasn’t into hi. Like, at all. At first, I tried to let him down easy, but he wouldn’t get the memo and I was annoyed and uncomfortable because he wouldn’t stop declaring his “love” and asking me to go out with him and following me around and showing up where I was and staring and etc etc etc.

So, this particular afternoon my friends and I did the war thing with the nieghborhood boys, we went back home and changed, and then went out again on our bikes to ride around the neighborhood. War was over. But the boys had other plans. They cornered us at one of my friends’ house and threw a ton of water balloons at us. Anyway, I finally made my way out of the shoot-out on my bike, and I was riding really fast and when I turned a corner, I saw The Boy getting ready to come at me with yet more water balloons. At this point, I was royally pissed off. At the other boys - because they had bombarded us and now I had to go home and get changed again. At him - because he was bordering on stalker behavior by now and I was beyond tired of it. So I made a decision. I started riding my bike faster and headed towards him. Like, right towards him. And I crashed my bike against him at full speed. Basically, I ran him over with my bike. Of course, I fell off my bike in the process. So I got up - still royally pissed off - and he was lying there on the floor tangled with my bike like WTF - he couldn’t process what I’d just done - and I towered over him and started telling him to fuck off once and for all (not in those words, but I’m sure my words weren’t pretty.) I was like: DO YOU GET IT NOW? DO YOU GET HOW MUCH I DON’T LIKE YOU? The coolest part is that I remember everyone gathered around me and the run-over boy and they were like HOLY SHIT LOOK AT HER! SHE RAN HIM OVER! FEAR HER! I’m not proud of what I did, but at the same time, I kind of am, you know? 

Spoiler alert: he didn’t actually get it. 

TL;DR: once I ran a boy over with my bike because he got on my nerves.

anon hour

#personal #anon hour #palizinhas #replies