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psiroller · 2 days

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in which chilchuck tries to get some but ends up a sucker to his caretaker instinct once again

i just wanted to write something where chilchuck unironically indulges laios' hyperfixation, lol. im folding this into something larger but it kind of stands on its own for now, so here.

“Hey,” Chilchuck slurred. An arm crawled around Laios’ shoulder, stirring him from his reading. “What are you doing up? It’s my shift.”

“Just research,” Laios replied cheerily. His eyes were drawn back to the book and away from Chilchuck, something that elicited a soft huff of irritation. “I’ll still be good to take over for you. I’m kind of wound up, you know? Couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah,” Chilchuck snickered, his hand brushing across Laios’ chest with just a bit too much pressure to be purely friendly. “I’ve been wound up, too.”

Laios met Chilchuck’s lascivious gaze with concern. “Are you starving yourself again? You wouldn’t have such bad insomnia if you ate well.”

“I got wine, there’s nutrients in that,” Chilchuck giggled, giving Laios’ tit a fond pat. Laios smelled the drink on his breath and the hair on his neck stood on end.

“On an empty stomach? Chil…” “What you getting worked up for? I’m fine. I know what I’m doing.”

Laios’ brows furrowed. Chil stared up at him, waiting for him to back down, and the smug smirk only widened when he didn’t.

“You gonna force-feed me or something? I didn’t take you as into that kind of thing.” “Knowing how depraved you are, you’d enjoy it if I did.” Chilchuck scoffed. “Oh, yeah, you’re one to talk—”

Laios closed his book. “You’re being reckless,” he declared, in that know-it-all leader tone. Rarely used—Laios hated using it—but terse enough for Chilchuck to tilt his head and shut his mouth for a minute. Not long enough.

“Being a little tipsy doesn’t mean my eyes and ears don’t work,” Chilchuck groaned, pulling away and slumping onto the next step up from the one he was perched on. “It’s not my job to fight them anyway. All I gotta do is throw the bottle at your head and I’ve done my part.” “I’m not talking about the party, Chil.”

Chilchuck shrunk away from Laios and crossed his arms.

“When did you become such a nag?” Chilchuck groaned. “I’m older than you. I know my limits.”

Laios turned from his seat on the floor, rising on his knees, invading Chilchuck’s space. He braced his arms on either side of Chilchuck’s lap.

“Do I have to say why?” Laios rumbled. “If you don’t want me to care, stop making passes at me.”

Chilchuck clucked his tongue. “Didn’t have to hit on you to get you to take a few quills to the back for my bony ass.” “So much for never talking about that again.”

Chilchuck grinned. Laios’ eye twitched, knowing that Chil knew he’d taken the bait. Chilchuck reached up to cup Laios’ face; Laios let him, unfortunately.

“You can relax, big guy,” Chilchuck said, and the softness in his voice made Laios deflate all at once. “I got by just fine until you hired me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I want to believe you,” Laios murmured. Chilchuck could feel the muscles of his jaw working as he spoke, the weight of his heavy tallman skull in his palms. “I do. But you don’t know—" “I’m fine,” Chilchuck asserted. “What’s got you so…?”

He stopped, bit his tongue. Laios looked up at him with those insufferable, upturned puppy dog eyes, deep amber in the low firelight, and he remembered. Chilchuck let out a long-suffering sigh, stroked up his cheek into Laios’ hair and scratched his scalp.

“We got this,” Chilchuck said. “It’ll be alright.” Laios slumped forward into Chilchuck’s lap, thick jaw slamming down onto his legs like a harpsichord lid, and Chilchuck squawked. Laios turned his face into the loose-fitting, threadbare slacks Chilchuck normally wore to bed, sucking in a long breath that made his back rise and then letting it all out through his nose. It reminded Chilchuck of Leed’s wargs after a good dinner, resting their big, wrinkly heads on any friendly knee and whining for attention.

Chilchuck scratched at his sideburns. He knew propositioning Laios would be risky in the dungeon, but this wasn’t the kind of disaster he’d envisioned if it went wrong. His hand came to rest on Laios’ back, and he rubbed it along the length of Laios’ spine. Laios’ broad body sunk that much further into his lap. Chilchuck’s calves were going numb, but he held deathly stll, as if he’d scare Laios off. As if he didn’t want to scare Laios off and get out of this mess.

“We’ll find Falin,” Chilchuck said. “We did it before, and we’ll do it again.” Neither of them believed it, really, but it was a nice thought. Maybe if they chanted it enough a spell would be cast. No mana sickness yet; they’d have to keep at it.

“I’m pretty confident about that,” said Laios, muffled in Chilchuck’s legs. His breath puffed warm on his thighs in short, controlled breaths. “But if we do and we don’t get her, if the Mad Mage takes care of us, then—it’s not just Falin, anymore.”

Chilchuck’s breath caught. His fingers curled in Laios’ shirt and tugged fitfully. Laios didn’t budge.

“She used to be all I had, you know.” Laios hugged Chilchuck’s pins-and-needles calves, which further trapped him but also returned some level of blood flow. Small blessings. Chilchuck wished he were dead. “That was fine. It was—better that way. Less to worry about. Then I found a nice girl, and I proposed—"

“Wait, what?”

“—she was so cute, so nice to me, but when my father said Falin would have to leave, I couldn’t just leave my little sister to rot somewhere, so—I broke it off. It didn’t matter, if I could earn enough money and Falin would be okay—”

Try faking a heart attack. You have the plausible deniability. “He… sent Falin away?” He was dimly aware of Marcille and Falin having met at magic school. “You were supporting her?”

“—but I didn’t even—need to. She was happy where she was. And I still—I still dragged her here, let her get eaten, let the Mad Mage take her. What kind of brother—”

Chilchuck gripped the back of Laios’ skull and pulled at his hair, not enough to move him, but enough to shut him up. He let go and ruffled it instead, soothing out the tension in his scalp. Laios melted, limbs melting to the stone tunnel floor.

“I see why you’ve been so wound up,” Chilchuck said. “You’ve just been sitting here and spiraling. Are you even reading that book?”

Laios squeezed Chilchuck’s legs to his chest. “Not really. I’m looking at the words but I’m not… retaining anything.”

That’s bad. “Let me see it.” Laios looked up at Chilchuck with confusion, then distrust. “Please?” That only confused Laios further, but he lifted the worn old tome from the floor for Chilchuck to take.

“Dragons of the Eastern Archipelago,” Chilchuck read out. “Another cookbook, eh?”

The jocular tone whiffed right past Laios’ ears. “It’s… not really research,” he admitted. Chilchuck thumbed through the pages—there were many detailed technical sketches of long-bodied, short-limbed dragons with horsehair and deer antlers, strange boggling eyes and stretched lips. More impressionistic doodles filled the margins, with scrawled-circle eyes and jagged teeth, little flared scratches of the broad side of a pencil representative of dragon fire. Their fat snake bodies had wobbly, uneven sides and sloppily looping scales—but some were a little more distinguishable as a dragon than others.

“Ah.” Chilchuck cleared his throat. “Nothing wrong with a little light reading, I guess.” He tried on a smile. “The, uh, pictures are nice.” “I kept telling Falin that long don’t breathe fire,” Laios said, voice tight, “but she kept saying it would be cooler if they did.” “That’s what they’re called? Longs? Seems kind of on-the-nose.”

That managed to get a laugh out of Laios, but it sounded more exasperated than anything. “It’s just one of the native words used for them, but it’s not Shuro’s language, apparently. The word he uses is ryu.”

“I haven’t seen anydragons other than red and green. Maybe it’s just the dungeons I’ve been to.” Chilchuck said. He winced, realizing he’d just stumbled over a lecture topic, but Laios stayed folded across his lap, seemingly having gotten comfortable there, and stayed quiet. The silence made Chilchuck’s hair bristle. Chilchuck nudged him, knuckles against Laios’ temple.

“C’mon, man, I set you up. Go on.” “Now you’re just making fun of me.” “Seriously, Laios. I really want to know this time, and you’re gonna sulk about it?”

Laios turned up from his lap to read Chilchuck’s face, though he never seemed to be able to get it right all the other times he’d attempted it. Chilchuck heaved a melodramatic sigh and patted Laios’ head, an action that lowered his hackles. It really shouldn’t have worked that easily, but Laios closed his eyes and hummed.

“There are… so many kinds,” Laios said dreamily. Dread began to creep in on Chilchuck’s charitable mood, but he’d talked himself into a corner. “They’re super adaptable. Pretty much anywhere you have a dungeon or an ecosystem robust enough to support one, you can find a dragon.”

“I’ve, uh, heard about white dragons. Furry ones, kind of like these guys, but with wings and the stocky body type. Never seen one, though, so it could have been bullshit.” “Oh, they’re real. Pretty common up north.” “Do they really breathe ice? How does that work?”

“Basically, yeah. It’s super-cooled air. They have huge lungs and a fuel organ like a red dragon, but instead of burning the waste matter inside, it liquefies it into a kind of slurry—” Chilchuck grimaced, but Laios was already talking with his hands and not measuring Chilchuck’s enthusiasm. “—that undergoes a rapid chemical reaction when exposed to the air the dragon exhales.”

“Huh.” Chilchuck absently stroked the back of Laios’ neck. Laios squirmed, but didn’t complain. He slipped out of his kneeling position to sit flatter against the wall, head still flopped over Chilchuck’s lap but looking outward toward the fire. The angle looked uncomfortable, so Chilchuck dropped a step lower, letting Laios slide over just a bit more, lay more solidly in Chilchuck’s lap. Laios’ ears had turned red. “Y’know, I always just figured magic did it. I never knew any of the biology until I met you.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong for thinking that way,” Laios half-shrugged. “They wouldn’t exist without some kind of mana source, so they’re still a product of magic. But to sustain the kind of huge, complex bodies dragons have on mana alone would starve the ecosystem, so they have to develop organs and bones to keep them upright and moving to serve their purpose.”

“To destroy whatever enters their lair?”

“To survive.”

“Same as the rest of us, then.”

Laios hummed. Chilchuck’s wrists had begun to hurt from holding the book, so he propped it up on the crown of Laios’ skull. He didn’t seem to mind.

“So what’s this big pearl they keep drawing the long dragon with?” Chilchuck asked, even though the answer was right beneath it, indicated helpfully in a list of figures.

“Oh, that’s an egg, believe it or not.”

“No kidding.”

“Dragon clutches start out pretty big, but because of how demanding the hatchlings are, most of them don’t survive to adulthood. Some species of dragon choose a ‘favorite’ out of their eggs to focus on and raise instead…”

Chilchuck smiled into the palm of his hand as Laios rambled, flipping through the book to keep his eyes open as Laios talked, listening as the spaces between words grew and his tangents unspooled, dissolving into dreamlike nonsense. The weight of Laios’ head got heavier in Chilchuck’s lap until the static crept back in, but Chilchuck had no intention of moving him anymore. It was well past the scheduled watch shift change by the time Laios began to softly snore, but Chilchuck didn’t rouse him.

#chilaios #dungeon meshi #ficroller #if you recognize the dragon egg factoid i know what you are

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mr-stottlemonk · 1 month

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made a timeline for monk tv for the folks cause it makes no sense sometimes.

[more in the tags]

[update: stottlemeyer's timeline found here]

#tried my best #math really churned itself out here #fic writing resources ahoy #feel free to use <3 #monk 2002 #monk 2002 timeline #this only counts adrian's age #i got tired of plotting a fic and going “errr wait when does this happen and does this thing im mentioning fit with this period of time???”#esp now that im going crazy about pre-series monk ideas #monk wiki says stottlemeyer is 17 YEARS OLDER THAN MONK #im just??? wot???#how can... that makes no sense. how can stottlemeyer be 81 and the head of security for some rich ass guy in mr. monk's last case? it dont #add up at all. ive always headcanoned that stottlemeyer is like 6-9 years older than monk #what were the writers thinking these ages are wacky #trudy is 4 years younger than monk too.#if we follow how she died when she was 34 #and theyd been married for 7 years... that makes her 27 but like. they met in uni. what age were they then???#monk def had to be 23-24 when he met trudy. which makes her 20 :“)#its whack man. making sense of this makes my head hurt #anyway im here to stop all that suffering #here we go #A BETTER TIMELINE #ill update with stottlemeyer's own age timeline soon :>

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moeblob · 1 month

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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

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leafuxxtea · 1 month

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god the announcement of hnk (houseki no kuni/land of the lustrous) has got me in shambles,,, i haven't read the chapters after the 10 000 years hiatus so i gotta catch up (actually I'll probably re-read the whole thing)

‼️rambling incoming‼️

imo, hnk is one of the best series for deep psychological analysis,,, it had such a deep impact on me when i first read it (like 3 years ago) and still remains in my top best/favorites series 🥹🥹 i could ramble abt it for so long,,, the process of one losing bit by bit the parts of themselves and replacing it with something else (both physically and metaphorically) in an endless need to help others, but also as an own selfish wish to become better than who they used to be. Then looking back, and realizing things were so much simpler back then, and mourning that past self. (The fact that all of this revolves around their self-hatred and the belief that they're worthless is just. It's so heartbreaking to me. They've become so desperate for affirmation and yet still keeps getting hurt, by others and by themself too.)

i have too many feelings about the manga 😭😭 im losing myself to the brainrot, help-

#leaf yapping #hnk #any hnk fans here?? 🥺🥺#I MEAN IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS THE SERIES WAS GOING TO END SOON ANYWAYS #god I still remember the infamous 2 years hiatus #all because ichikawa got a ps5 #i have so many thoughts on so many characters #rutile...ghost quartz...diamond...yellow diamond...antARCTICITE...CINNABAR??? CAIRNGORM???? 😭😭😭#and last but not least. lets not forget our endlessly suffering protagonist. gods sacrifical lamb.#IM NEVER GOING TO SHUT UP ABOUT PHOS‼️‼️#this series made me so mentally ill...like i was already mentally ill but it made me worse #i rewatched the anime recently actually and it made me super emotional 🥹🥹#ichikawa. when i catch you ichikawa.#THE TRANSFORMATION PHOS WENT THROUGH IS SO INSANE ACTUALLY #ur telling me the silliest little guy is now...some imposing shapeless deity figure???#lets not forget about when [spoiler incoming]#they lost their legs. then lost their arms. then lost their head.#then got destroyed and slowly reconstructed into a horrifying mix match of broken pieces #not the mention how they get shattered by the alloy when they have a mental breakdown #WHICH IS SUCH AN INSANE DETAIL BTW???#the way they just. fully physically break down to pieces. from inside of themselves. when their mind is spiralling.#i think their portrayal of ones trauma is so interesting #ANYWAYS IM STOPPING MY RAMBLING FOR NOW

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scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde · 6 months

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I made a meme do you leik it :)

#i am SUFFERING out here #i have a presentation and essay for one module a presentation for another module and an object to make with a 1000 word explanation??#for another module all due within the next two weeks #and i am unable to get out of bed 👍🏻#fantastic timing dont you think #theres been trouble with my antidepressents so im off those too which ahahahahah doesnt help #and i cant got to the doctors for them cause ill have to fight for it and then that will give them reason to not give me testosterone in #december when im due to get it cause im 'unstable' and my doctors surgery isnt very fond of me starting anyway #im not about to give them a reason to stop me from getting the perscription #so ive just got to fucking raw dog life for the first time since i was 16 how great #no i cannot complete these very important assignments that count towards my degree im trying not to throw myself into oncoming traffic soz #and also trying to manage to feed myself and perhaps leave my bedroom for a total of five minutes at least a day #this has not been entirely achievable but yk im doing my best 😀👍🏻#depressive episode #did any of yall see those two girls with a podcast that said i love my mental illness it makes me who i am #because i think about those two far too often and im so glad everyone was in the comments so much so they deleted the video lmfao cause bro #depression #can suck my dick #in a bad way

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bandomgay · 9 months

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I'm to dissociated to rationalize anything about the situation still but like man...we know there's a fanonized reality vs like real one and like that's just like how it's been?? It's no body's fault that those lines blurred for yall

#like i get it shes a bad person its a bad situation its an even stranger situation for him #but everytime something happens its just so exhautinggggggggggg to be in here like whatever ur allowed to express whatever but do u guys #even know where your coming from with all this #its just so whateverrr #i cant say what i really wanna say but like im so sick of everytime something foesnt happen to our liking everyone gotta suffer about it #well whatever anyways uhm also stop using miles as a thing to focus on when Alex qoute on qoute dissapoints u thats weird im not rockin with #that but uhm yeah besides all this ONE MAN BAND SOOOON!!!! AHH #and please dont sent me anything about this lmao like #please like..leave me alone not judging or being rude about it just like...im not in the mood for that #james talks

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feral-ass-raccoon · 8 months

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fuck it, i have finally reached the point where im jus gonna start rb-ing whatever the fuck catches my eye regardless of the fandom im in rn. i am a crow searching amongst the pebbles, and all the little bits of glass i like will be dropped upon my followers whether they like it or not

#why yall here btw #i have like- 40 minus the bots and idfk where all but 3 of you came from #anyways #i had coffee this morning lol #sorry guys #yall gonna suffer today (:#raccoon's thoughtstm #im fucking dying rn but the tumblr chaos never stops folks

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pepprs · 2 years

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ok mutuals i know this is cringe i am so aware and i am so sorry. but this is my…………………… warrior cat oc who represents me (i am so so so so sorry. i am so sorry.) and im doing some tweaks to her design rn and i can’t decide whether she looks better with or without this like spiky cheek fluff that’s supposed to make her face look more starlike. so what do u think. vote now on ur phones (without fluff on the left, with fluff on the right)

#my art #i have been doodling this silly little cat all over the place for almost 10 yrs btw. and i VERY much suffer from same face syndrome with #both cats and ppl and ive been trying to add like unique variations and stuff when i draw but it’s rly hard. (also ive been getting back in #into drawing if u couldn’t tell. i straight up stopped when i was in college bc i just couldn’t function and this was not the thing i #thought i would come back to once i got out of school but here i am swimming in warrior cats stuff again at age 23 💀💀💀) BUT ANYWAYS. i am #adding butterfly and star motifs to this character who is also me. like u can see her ears are kinda wobbly bc they’re supposed to be shape #like butterfly wings! but the star thing isn’t as evident so I thought maybe the cheek fluff would be nice but then it’s like.. the ear #wobble is already a change and im just worried i will forget the cheek fluff when i doodle her and stuff. ive been rly lenient w how i draw #fluff on cats and stuff and i want to get better at it but i feel like i’ll annoy myself if i mess around w it. but it looks good and is #symbolic so idk 😭 ofc like i would be the best judge of this bc I know what my comfort level is and stuff but … do u like the fluff is what #im asking i guess. and do u think i should carry it forward and make it a thing even if it takes a while to get used to #purrs #i feel so cringe posting my warrior cats characters but idk. it’s my blog i get to post whatever i want so this is what im posting 🤸🏻‍♀️#ALSO plus when i doodle i already majorly simplify her markings so it’s just the freckles. and the markings im whatever about but i feel #like the physicality is really important smth i would always capture no matter how intense the drawing is and smth i kinda want to #challenge myself to get better / more consistent at a little bit. so yeah. idk #pepe

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stinkrascal · 1 year

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i have one more straud post to finish editing and then i think i’ll finally begin posting my legacy again!!

#i forgot how long it takes me to edit posts aha #but i really love the way theyve turned out! i think theyre a lot of fun #i still need to work on the vlad/brie backstory reprisal and write some more stuff out #but in between working on that i think posting straud will be a nice break! i missed my teens so much #after im done editing this last post i'll definitely work on the backstory reprisal for a bit. its been too long #and whenever im at a point where ive begun posting the backstory i'll stop posting straud for the time #to focus on the backstory #but until then!! STRAUD LEGACY TIME!!!!!!!#i don't think anything super serious will be posted in straud that's contingent on the backstory's lore so it should be okay #i mean except for the mentions of breanna having autism and vlad likely suffering w some sort of ocd. but i already talked about that here #so i'm not too bothered to mention it in the legacy. i just want it to be elaborated more in the backstory yeah!!#anyways AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i missed my sims so much u don't know how happy i am #or maybe you do bc this is all i've talked about for days now lol

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soldier-poet-king · 2 years

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Alone at work this afternoon bc all the full time staff are at an appreciation event and I'm....sad....get to be sad alone in the office for another 2 hrs .....

#yes im a dumb bitch i did this to mysekf #also tmi but PMS is an excellent bday gift im going to CRY #also i listened to les mis at work as a treat and now im just full of determination and despair #it means so much more now than it did a decade ago #when i was even more cringe and obsessed with romance and eponine #and now. i just want to be good #it is about radical empathy and solidarity #not to b like vhugo had it righter than most Christians i know BUT #dorothy day u are the only valid mf out here #(also st francis i love u i am giving u a kiss)#but yeah. im tired. im itching with this need. i know i need to read and think and act #i will. stop whining. this isnt about me who care about ur lonely soul etc etc etc #it is no matter if i am the only one suffering as thara says #anyway. head full heart full #we are entering a tomb all flooded wirh the dawn #swords to ploughshares #its about peace broadly not happiness specifically and personally #and that is what i did not understand a decade ago

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sensitivegoblin · 2 months

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I'm just spamming venting shit to get it off my chest and keep my hands from slipping and sliding if you get my drift

#wanna cry scream throw up break things #but I'm stuck in my head so I'll just stay here half frozen #smoking until I can't feel anything or think #my whole life has been a waste and I just wanna be done #im playing a game I no longer wanna play #I have no chips I have no bone in this #im just so done but im being forced to stay #I feel like im being half drowned #head just above water enough to keep me alive #otherwise im suffering n just want it to stop #im just so over it #anyway you want me baby that's the way you got me #I'd do anything to be filled with validation and peace and comfort and...just something to make the pain stop #my story's gonna end with me dead from your poison #what's the worst part of this hell?#I can only blame myself.#full of poison I'm sick of the poison #fillin up my glass but it's always hollow #im tired of thinking this doctor or this thing or this way of thinking is gonna fix things just for it to let me down #turning 25 just reminded me of all the times I had hope and it was for fucking nothing #I used to be a happy hopeful glass half full person #but im just fucking done #so many people have promised they wouldn't leave me and then they DO #WHY LIE TO ME #STOP LYING TO ME IF YOU DONT LOVE ME JUST LEAVE ME #so many people........all gone or just -barely- in my life by a string #I'm tired of being lied.......so many friends gone #i remember at age 13 a guy said he wouldn't talk to me unless o sent pictures so I did #i remember praying to God that he was 'the one'#...I'm such an idiot

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callingmelili · 1 year

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I'd love to have a boyfriend who would slowly break my will down and gaslight me into his obedient little breeding doll. Like he'd start with little things bc 'of course' he respects how I don't want children and put my career first, he just likes to tell me that he' going to breed me and how good I would look with my tits leaking milk. It's a kink, and we're both mature people who can diferentiate, right?

But then he starts edging me in the mornings to those exact words, and he doesn't let me cum until I come home at night. I tell him I know what he is doing, and it isn’t funny. But he just says he doesn't know what I'm talking about, he's just being attentive bc he loves me, and that it gets my cunt wet anyways. It's still just a kink, I'm on birth control, what could go wrong?

But then the more time passes, the more I feel dumb and confused when I'm out. We didn’t always use condoms but now somehow we are slways out. He sends me out of the house dripping cum everyday and somehow sll I can think about at work is my cunt. He laughs at me every night I come home for making a mess in my panties and tell me he's glad I'm getting with the program when I practically jump him once he walks through the door. I wake up a couple of time to him fucking me late at night, pounding me deep and not even caring that I protest bc I'm leaking around him, and I come so hard I can't fault him.

My performance at work suffers, and he convinces me to cut my hours. It's too much stress, and he earns so much more anyway. The day I do, he takes me the second I get home bending me over and filling my womb twice with his fingers in my mouth so I don’t say anything silly. He fucks me until I'm overstimulated and incoherent and makes me beg him to get me pregnant and I'm so out of my mind and used to the words by now that I do.

The next day, when I go find my brand new birth control, I can’t find it. He tells me plainly that he flushed it down the toilet and that he replaced the last batch with aphrodisiacs. When I try to fight back, he strides over to me and shoves a hand, doen my panties, two fingers sliding into my wet cunt immediately. "But you asked me for it just last night baby. And you cut your hours. Look at how sensitive you are, I can bet you're already knocked up, but we'll make sure of it don't worry." And then he fingers me until my legs are shaking, it doesn’t matter that I'm crying. When he knows Im getting desperate he pushes me to my knees and stuffs my mouth with his cock. "Don’t worry your little head trying to get out of this, no one's going to believe you with the video of us I have from last night. We can watch it later, you look so good begging me to put a baby in you." He fucks my face, harder with every word. "You know maybe you should stop working altogether, our kid is going to need a sibling, and I want you right here doll."

The next day he fucks me while we wait for the little plus sign to show up on the test and makes me ask him to make me a mommy all over again.

#forced impreg #bd/sm breeding #fantasy #somno fantasy

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love-songs-for-emma · 2 years

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every time i have an inconsequential opinion, i simply (painstakingly) try Not to interact with Anyone online about it

#its a burden but it's my lantern to carry #my cross to bare. so to speak #(i am Suffering)#no bc its So easy to just Say things online #& so difficult to stop.#the same goes for irl really. can't take back what's been said. some words are meaningless while others change Everything #& anyway. fighting w strangers online abt little things just isn't worth anyone's time #conversations w ppl who Hear u & whom u are Hearing in resp are great!! never discouraged!!#but strangers who Search for specific words using whatever platform just to fight ppl and said topic are... beyond reason or help #(& yet is so easy to give in & get worked up over Whatever)#this is abt me seeing a post abt living in an apartment complex and Implied Rules of living in one that i just... didn't agree with.#& instead of trying to hashtag educate others with my hashtag Correct™️ thoughts/perspective/opinion in the comments #or making a post of my own on the subject #i am here unpacking internet conversational dynamics #it rlly be like this #the zoom out is nice tho #every now and again i. i see the growing ive done. & its really.#im so dramatic but this is making me kind of emotional. ive changed. & it feels like it's for the better. & ill be doing this forever #& so will u & everyone. all our lives. & its beautiful #i'm such a romantic poetic sap. gosh #new personal tag btw?:#maria is literally just rambling. hi #.txt

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always-a-king-or-queen · 6 months

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C 👏 S 👏 LEWIS 👏 WAS 👏 NOT 👏 MISOGYNISTIC

IM SO SICK OF THIS TAKE

“But he said girls shouldn’t fight in battles—" No, actually. What he said was “Battles are ugly when women fight.” Which literally translates to “in a war where women are required to fight to help win it, it means the war itself is really bad.” And this literally just means that the war has gotten so bad that women have to fight, not that women shouldn’t fight. Just that they shouldn’t be forced to. Anyway, remember Lucy?? Lucy who rode to battle in The Horse and His Boy?? Lucy who fought as an archer?? “But Susan didn’t—" Yeah. Because she didn’t want to. No one was forcing her not to fight. She had free will to fight or to not fight, and she chose not to because she didn’t want to, not because a man made her stay home.

“He punished Susan for growing up—" S i g h. This is the one I see the most often. “He did Susan dirty” “he made her suffer because she liked lipstick” “etc etc blah blah blah” First of all Narnia is a children’s book series. For CS Lewis to delve into why Susan forgot Narnia, talk about her dealing with the death of her entire family, discuss her grief, and write about her eventual return to Narnia (more on that in a second), it would’ve made for a pretty dark and heavy children’s book, and Lewis said that he didn’t think that was something he wanted to write. But he also encouraged people to finish Susan’s story themselves, and said she might eventually make her own way back to Narnia. Not only this, but Susan’s name means lily, and the waters around Aslan’s country are covered in lilies. Coincidence? I think not. I think it symbolizes she was going to go back. (Especially considering I think Lewis was very careful in choosing each of the Pevensie’s names, since they all relate to their character).

Also, Lewis did not condemn Susan simply for growing up and liking makeup and clothing and boys. If so why would he have written about Aravis and Shasta/Cor, or Caspian and Liliandil? Why would he have written about Susan and Lucy being beautiful and having many suitors? So no, he wasn’t condemning her for that, and in fact he wasn’t condemning her at all. It’s extremely probable that her family’s death would have brought Susan back to her senses. Because here’s the thing: she forgot. She threw herself so much into the world and approval and convinced herself that her life as a queen and her acquaintance with Aslan was all a silly game they played as children, that it wasn’t real. But, she very well could remember again, and I 1000% believe she did.

“All his female characters were weak and did nothing—" My friend. Lucy Pevensie was a female. She discovered Narnia. It was because of her. Her siblings would never have found it without her. Lucy is one of THE most important characters in the entire series. And her title? The Valiant. Lucy’s very title as queen denoted her bravery and fortitude without one even knowing her. As for Susan, she was not any weaker for being “The Gentle.” I would say gentleness is honestly one of the strongest traits a person can have, because it takes a lot to live and be gentle. Also remember Aravis? A major character in The Horse and His Boy and future wife of Shasta, Aravis literally nearly killed herself to escape an arranged marriage. She was not someone to be dictated to; she made her own choices and escaped rather than submitting. And in the end, she’s still fiery, just a little more humble and with less of a chip on her shoulder. Then there’s Polly, who is the more logical person in The Magician’s Nephew and tries to stop Digory from ringing the bell that wakes the White Witch. A boy causes her to awaken, not a girl. It was Digory’s fault she woke up, not Polly’s!!

Also, Peter and Edmund do not ignore their sisters because they’re girls. They listen to what they have to say and speak to them as equals. They don’t forbid them from fighting; Susan chooses not to, but Lucy goes straight into the heart of the battle with them! So don’t even say Lewis made his female characters weak. They were the backbone of much of the series and without them much of the plot would never have happened!!

So don’t you ever say to me that CS Lewis was misogynistic because it’s the furthest thing from the truth

#I REALIZED I ACCIDENTALLY TYPED JILL INSTEAD OF POLLY #IF YOU SEE THAT PRETEND IT SAYS POLLY #cs Lewis #narnia #lucy pevensie #susan pevensie #Polly plummer #aravis tarkheena #the chronicles of narnia #I could’ve mentioned Jill but it was long enough #ramblings from the void

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cieloclercs · 8 months

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what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 5/? (read part 4 here)

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

pairing. charles leclerc x artsy!reader

warnings. it’s GROVELLING time !! sad charles, sad reader, swearing, everyone still kind of hates charles (as they should) angst but not quite as angsty as the last part

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note. i hope this is enough suffering for you guys 😭 i’m weak tho so there’s a tinyyy bit of progress at the end 👀 i feel like this one’s a bit messy so i’m sorry about that?? it’s also kind of just setting up the next part but oh well 😭 anyways, LAST PART COMING UP NEXT ☹️ i’m gonna miss this series :’(

NOW PLAYING | Singapore 2023 post-FP1 interview: Charles Leclerc

COMMENTS 32k

username i’m still charles’ number 1 hater rn but he looked so sad at the end… ☹️

username girl no we need to be strong! don’t fall for the sad puppy dog eyes (i know he’s cute but srsly don’t) 🫠

username you’re right, you’re right 😔 haters until the end 🫡

username sir don’t try and blame your shitty mistakes on y/n 😭😭

username HE LOOKS SO SAD I CANT 🥲

username i really hope y/n sees this and realises he’s actually sorry

username no way that’s too easy. charles needs to apologise properly !!

username oh my GOD the way he started smiling when he said y/n is his ‘lucky charm’ AND THEN THE WAY IT DROPPED WHEN HE REMEMBERED THEY’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE IM GONNA SCREAM 😭😭😭💔💔💔

username charles do you see what you’re doing to us charlesy/n stans?? PLEASE JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL FFS 😫

username i swear if these two don’t pull their heads out of their asses soon I WILL COMMIT MURDER

username so real bestie 😔

username it’s such an invasion of privacy to ask about this though 😭

username fr the press don’t know when to keep out of it 😒

username i think he knows he’s in love with her now, he’s just not sure how to fix things ☹️

username i’m scared this feels like right person wrong time you know? 😃

username don’t say that 🫣 i’m just praying y/n forgives him. as soon as he apologises properly ofc, can’t make it too easy for him mwahahah

username i want to keep hating him but i’ve never seen him look that sad 🥲

username CHARLES YOU DONT GET TO ACT LIKE THE VICTIM WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CAUSED THIS

username so true. he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and apologise 🙄

liked by yourfriend and 47,837 others

yourusername always on my mind ☁️💫

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username SHE’S BACK IN MONACO GUYS EVERYBODY STAY CALM

username MOTHER HAS RETURNED !!!

username wait is that f1 she’s watching on her phone? 🤨

username omg it is 🤭

username SHE WATCHED THE RACE OMFG

username charles podium as well 😩😩

username it’s like he knew she was watching 🥹

username i hate how quickly everyone’s switching up on the charles situation just because of that interview but at the same time i can’t deal with my parents fighting anymore i need them to make up 😫

leclerc_pascale Bienvenue à la maison, ma fille ❤️ / welcome home, my girl

yourusername 🥰

arthur_leclerc YOU’RE BACK

yourusername did you forget? i literally saw you twenty minutes ago 😭

username the caption 🤔

username we can all agree she’s talking about charles, right?

yourfriend ma femme 🤩 / my wife

yourusername mon amour 😘

username she is everything.

username forget her art SHE IS THE ART RIGHT THERE

charles_leclerc belle / beautiful

username EXCUSE ME??

username SIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE PHAHAHA

username charles get tf out of here 😭

username i love how y/n’s just straight up ignoring him 😭

username CHARLES IS HERE GUYS HOW ARE WE FEELING

username i’m so conflicted rn

username like i want them to make up but at the same time he needs to SUFFER like he made y/n suffer

username fr, make him squirm a little 😌

username idk guys, if charles leclerc commented ‘belle’ on MY instagram, i’d be on my knees in an instant 🫣

username girl please 😭

username charles babe please go away you’re ruining the vibes x

username i swear to god if he’s here just to fuck with y/n’s head again i’ll fucking kill him

username he wouldn’t do that

username @charles_leclerc if you want to win her back this is NOT the way to do it

arthur_leclerc @charles_leclerc what did i tell you? 👀

username HAHAHA ARTHUR STOP

joris_trouche @charles_leclerc you should listen to our advice mate 😃

yourfriend @arthur_leclerc @joris_trouche shut up both of you 😒

joris_trouche yes ma’am 🫡

username they’re all ganging up on him 😭

liked by formula1updates and 9,736 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc and Y/N Y/L/N spotted at the same night club in Monaco 👀

view all comments…

username OH MY GOD IS IT HAPPENING??

username there’s no way this is coincidence charles is boutta beg for forgiveness i’m calling it

username y/n’s actually smiling tho 😭 charles please don’t ruin it x

username we need y/f/n to scare him off before he can ruin her night 🤞

username AHAHAHA YES

username what i’d give to be in that club rn 😔

username fr y/n better be roasting him 😭

➜ part 6

taglist: @cxcewg @incoherenciass @formula1mount @allywthsr @meabhcavanagh @driveswiftly13 @zzblooda @gaslysainz @be-your-coffee-pot @siovhanroy

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