Tumgik
#ao3 is literally what's keeping me going right now
clubdionysus · 3 days
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[BAD DECISION #32] Question...?
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warnings: i love this pair so much it's disgusting, freckle kissing, oral (m), praise, head pusher jeon jungkook!, fingering, interrupted </333, the starlovers are randy all the time apparently!! discussions of a chicken shop shag, to the love motel they go!!, acc v cute, the lil games they play, kissing :D, v needy, unprotected sex, missionary, titty sucking, kissing through it :(, creampie, yearning for some 1 right in front of u!!, off-screen second shag that's even heavier sigh, a desperate attempt at communication that falls short </3, silly fools!
a/n: for those of u who never knew me on wattpad, the first line is a reference to another story of mine hehe
wc: 16.7k
bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)
AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI
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JK: you up?
The message lights up the screen of your phone with such vibrancy you want to claw your own eyes out. It's resting on your pillow thanks to the alarm that had gone off half an hour ago - of which you'd subsequently pressed 'end' on faster than the speed of light.
The rumble of a sleepy Jeongguk stretching out echoes through the walls. Paper-thin, secrets are hard to keep in houses like these. It's the only reason Jeongguk didn't even attempt to get you in his room last night.
Perhaps that's a lie. Perhaps it has less to do with his parents' perception of your friendship, and more to do with Jeongguk's own confusion over it all. Perhaps .
You ignore the message. Groan a little. Had gotten home - or should that be gotten to Jeongguk's home - far later than you had been expecting. Definitely will need coffee at some point in the near future. Sooner rather than later.
A little dehydrated, you're thankful you're not hungover. Had managed to sober up enough before coming home. Sea air helps. So does kissing boys you shouldn't.
And then you're thinking about it .
Thinking about his hands, and how his muscles just know how to hold you perfectly. Thinking about his lips, and how they feel when they press down on yours. The smile on them. The short, sharp breath from his nose against your cheek. How silky his hair is, and how your fingers manage to get knotted in it regardless.
Whining as you press your face into the pillow, you know that you shouldn't be thinking this way. Know it's a recipe for disaster. Know that Jeongguk has a history of blurring lines with his best friends.
His lips in your head are replaced with a ruby red pair; scathing as they hiss out a reminder you never needed:
I just know Jeongguk. I know what happens to the girls he becomes 'besties' with. I wasn't the first 'best friend' he had, and I doubt I'll be the last. Doubt you will be, either.
If there's one thing for certain about Hayun, it's that she leaves a mark. Scarlet. A handprint across your face. A stab wound in your back. Hickies on throats.
Yet as the door of Jeongmin's room crashes open, and a bleary-eyed Jeongguk traipses in without even uttering more than a grunt in lieu of 'hello', you're pleased to see the hickies on his throat.
Yours. All yours.
The hickies, not the man.
Although as Jeongguk chooses to simply pile on top of you, it could be debated that maybe you hold a few more cards than you realise.
Hayun plays a good bluff, but what use is it when you've got a royal flush?
"Oww," you grumble, as Jeongguk quite literally rolls over the top of you.
Jeongmin's bed is a single. There's not enough room for two. If Jeongguk's shoulders were as slim as Danbi's, then maybe - but he's built like an upside-down Dorito. You suppose delicious probably wouldn't be a bad way to describe Jeongguk. In fact, now you come to think of it, it's perfectly apt.
He squeezes into the spot between you and the wall - because he's always on your left whenever you're together in bed - and doesn't bother to get beneath the duvet.
"Morning," he eventually mumbles, shuffling onto his side. Lips pouty, cheeky swollen, nose dewy, he's well rested. Hooks his arm over your duvet-covered body. Doesn't hug you, just keeps you enclosed.
"Mhmm," you mumble right back. "What time is it?"
Jeongguk is slow as he responds, just as sleepy as you. "Just gone 10."
"Fuck."
"Mhmm," he hums in agreement with your curse. "Gonna waste the day away, B."
Part of you doesn't think spending a day in bed with Jeongguk could be considered a 'waste'. In fact, it'd be a day well spent.
"Breakfast?" you suggest regardless, knowing that Jeongguk will never turn down food.
The grumble he lets out this time is primal. "Ugh. Yes."
"Watcha want?
"Don't think I'm allowed what I want."
"Pussy isn't breakfast."
"You're telling me you've never had pussy for breakfast?" He snorts, knowing you'll be full of shit if you say no.
"That's none of your business," you remind him - and he's kind of grateful for it. Doesn't wanna hear about your previous hookups. Hearing about other guys doesn't really bother him so much. Knows he can compete. Knows he can win.
Girls, though? Fuck . He knows how much he likes women. Knows he could never compete against a good pair of tits and a nice cunt.
Issue is, the thought's in his head, now.
They say that jealousy is a disease, and Jeongguk's suffering seems to be chronic. The symptoms simmer down for a while, but they always flare back up eventually. It's a miracle he's been able to keep a lid on things for long.
Except he definitely hasn't. You remember exactly how pouty he was when Seojoon came and introduced himself. His jealousy is always subtle. Subdued. Far more internal than it is external. Not always easy to decipher.
But Jeongguk's thinking about you now; thinking about the fact other people have had you like this. Warm. Cosy. Content. Someone else has likely held your waist like this; made you feel the exact same way he's making you feel.
And he wants to make you feel better .
Wants to be the best .
If there's one thing Jeongguk knows he's good at, it's giving head. Too much of a perfectionist not to be. Discards all traces of dignity when his head is between a pair of legs.
"Let me go down on you," he implores, dignity already slipping. His voice is sleepy, a little croaky. Dehydrated. You'd be doing him a favour. "Slow pace. Nothing fancy. Don't need anything back. Just wanna taste you."
You smile into the sheets. Shuffle a little. Stretch. Get your body even more accustomed to the loose embrace he's got you in.
"You sound like a vampire," you smile, finding his sleepy desperation all rather sweet.
Jeongguk's brain hasn't fully woken up yet. Doesn't fully understand what you mean. Reaches a dreadfully incorrect conclusion.
He asks, "Oh, are you, like, yanno... on ?"
The poor puppy dog of a man doesn't say it explicitly. Isn't really sure how to refer to the menstrual cycle, or periods, or anything like that. Never wants to be ignorant of shit women go through, but also has never really had to educate himself on it all. Hayun would never speak about it, and he'd not really been with Jiyeong for long enough for it ever to be mentioned.
If he were a woman, he'd know all this shit. Would know what to say, what to do. Life would be easier for you. Another shortcoming of the fact he was born with a cock. Makes him a little insecure. Your life could be easier. You could choose an easier path.
Fails to factor in that maybe you'd be willing to climb mountains for sunset skylines. You'll weather a treacherous road if the destination is worth it, and he's an idiot to not realise this.
Still, he is an idiot, and unfortunately they don't have a ' seducing girls while mistakenly thinking they're on their period for dummies' guidebook. Instead, he regurgitates some of Jimin's bullshit. After all, Jimin is a top shagger. Would never leave a girl wanting more. Couldn't be him.
"I hear fucking helps," Jeongguk assures you, quickly when you don't respond immediately. He's panicking. Worries he's put his foot in it. Also does wanna fuck you but that's neither here nor there. He's just woken up. Is just horny. That's all. "Cramp and stuff. Fucking helps that. Apparently."
"I'm not on," you laugh a little. He's not totally wrong about his claims, but still. "Idiot. Although... would you?"
"Would I what?" He asks, throwing questions back on you to deflect from his missteps. "Fuck you on your period? Or fuck you now?"
If your eyes were open, you'd be rolling them. "Not now. I mean if I was on. Would you?"
Jeongguk shrugs, shoulders sinking even deeper in the duvet. "Don't see why not."
"Have you done it before?"
"Few times," he says nonchalantly.
It's normally accidental, and dark rooms are often to blame, but he's done it intentionally before. Towel down, duvet kicked to the floor, sheets in the wash and an immediate shower afterwards. There's little Jeongguk won't do when he wants to cum. Little he won't do to make the girls he likes cum.
"I quite like it," you admit. "The mess? I could do without it. But the feeling? Yeah, it's pretty good."
"We'll do it," Jeongguk sleepily says without much care for the consequence. "Whenever you're next on. Just say the word. Now can you stop being difficult and just sit on my face?"
The heartiness of your laugh lets Jeongguk know that you absolutely will not be sitting on his face any time soon.
It's not that you don't want it. Quite the opposite in fact. You want it almost too much - but also know your head was feeling all sorts of fucked up the night before. If holding his hand for a little too long can have you reevaluating the friendship, then who knows what sitting on his face would do.
There's a vulnerability that comes with the position. A vulnerability that scares you - and the way you were up for hours upon hours thinking about the night before scares you enough as it is.
"Such a randy bastard," you say fondly, pushing the duvet off your body and across to him. He doesn't object. Pouts to himself a little bit as he feels your body weight leave the mattress. Keeps his eyes closed, and snuggles in the duvet. Smells like you.
"Your fault," he mumbles.
Doesn't realise you're not in the room anymore.
Not until he cracks an eye open because of your silence. Panics. Knows exactly where you'll be. Darts off the bed and stumbles out of Jeongmin's room, swinging himself around the doorframe into his own room.
"You little-"
"These are so cute," you giggle, pointing to the little origami hearts beside his posters of Girls' Generation. Why he didn't take them down, he'll never know.
"Stop," he whines, pulling on your waist to drag you away. Turns you to face him. "I was, like, a child."
"Your mum said you moved out when you were nineteen," you remind him of her comment from the night before at dinner. It had been mid-conversation, just another snippet of Jeongguk's life before he knew you.
"I did," he confirms, looking down at you with those big brown Bambi eyes of his. Dewy-skinned, his hair is a mess, a small tuft sticking out awkwardly at the front of his face. It's cute. Give him a boy-next-door charm that he really doesn't need.
"So? Even if you made them as a kid, you still had them up at nineteen," you laugh, pushing away from him to go and look at the rest of his nicknacks.
He can't even counter your argument. Just growls a pouty "shut up."
"Soooo cute."
The walls are lined with relics of his youth; pictures with friends, wristbands from festivals, and notes scrawled on the lined paper of classroom workbooks.
"How'd you meet?" you ask, nodding to a picture of him and Jimin. Far younger than they are now, they're all smiles in a photo booth. There's no QR code on the bottom, because it was taken before they really became a thing. The picture itself is the only memory of such a time. Jeongguk is wearing a lobster hat, and Jimin a fish. Their cheeks are puffy, and their eyes look wired on sugar and a lack of sleep that only teenagers can get away with.
"Parents are friends," he explains, sitting now on the edge of his bed. "Have just known each other since, like, forever."
It's for this reason that Jimin gets an exclusive window into Jeongguk's head. He trusts him. Has never given him a reason not to. Thick as thieves, they grew up together. If anyone ever gave Jeongguk a hard time in school, they'd always have the threat of Jimin pulling them into line. He was older. Cooler. Not really smarter, but they both had their individual strengths.
You notice how frequently Jimin appears in the pictures on Jeongguk's walls, and part of you feels bad. They've a friendship that spans decades. Has seen the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Has seen lovers come and go (or in Jimin's case, just go). Has seen the test of time and passed with flying colours.
There's a very real version of events that could have ruined everything. If Jimin was a little more possessive, a little more jealous like Jeongguk is, then you could have ruined everything.
While you don't regret it, you know that if you had the chance to relive your life, you would never sleep with Jimin.
Part of it bothers Jeongguk, you think. He can pretend it doesn't all he likes, but he does have a jealous streak. It's never malicious and rarely does it ever impact you, but it is there. Is noticeable in the way his jaw sometimes tenses, and how his pout prevails when competition shows up.
"S'what I mean when I told you he's more like family," Jeongguk adds as you continue to take in the museum of him. "You're my best friend, though," he says quietly. Sincerely. Wholeheartedly. "You know that right? Best friend in the whole world."
You narrow your eyes. Furrow your brows together. "What do you want?"
He rolls his eyes. Laughs quietly. "Nothing. Always such a sceptic, aren't you?"
"It's not my fault you're always up to no good," you banter back. "I've learned to keep my defences up."
"Shut up," he says fondly. "You know you can trust me. You know I'm not lying about shit like this."
And it's true. You believe him without hesitation. Believe in his words as if he's reciting bible oaths, and as if you even fuckin' believe in a higher power. All you really believe is that there's a serenity that comes with being around Jeongguk.
Had never really considered the possibility of a twin flame before, but enjoy the way he doesn't burn you out.
Can spend hours in his company, and not need to recharge. Get lost in the endings of you and the beginnings of him. It's all so effortless. Kinetic sand collapsing in on itself; the colours merge. You'll never be able to pick it all apart. Forever intertwined, yet still separate enough to be distinguishable.
That's the thing about Jeongguk; it doesn't matter how often you get lost - in him, in your own head, in the big scary world around you - he always finds you. Never lets you stay lost. Will dapple your skin in glitter to make sure you shine throughout the darkest of nights. Will never lose you in a crowd. Will never eclipse you, like others have done in the past.
And so you simply shrug your shoulders. Smile. "Don't need to say it. I already know."
"Was just making sure," he mumbles.
"Do you worry?" You ask, thinking about his history, and how badly losing a girl he considered his best friend bothered him. "Do you worry that what happened with Hayun will happen with us?"
He's quiet for a moment. A million words screaming in the silence.
Jeongguk will never lie about the sincerity of his feelings, but he will hide the true nature of them. It's self-preservation 101. Can't get his heart broken if he's the one holding onto it. Made that mistake before.
And so he smiles.
"I literally just friend-zoned you, B," he teases. Doesn't want the focus on him, and his emotions, so deflects. Puts the spotlight back on you. "Plus, you've got a boy hitting up your DM's don't you? Who would I be to stand in the way of true love?"
"One date does not equate to true love," you remind him. "I barely know him."
"Might not equate to it, but could very easily start with just one date," he counters. "And so? That's what dating is all about. Testing the waters. Seeing if you work together."
You're quiet for a moment, until eventually, you whisper, "it scares me."
"Why?"
You shrug.
The question you had asked him about Hayun? Projection .
You're scared of repeating mistakes you made with Seokjin. Scared of giving your all, only for the best of you to be left in tatters; scared, because love has only ever frightened you. It goes boo in the night - although 'boo' is far less scary than the alert tone of a dating app you don't recognise, coming from the phone of the man who used to sleep beside you.
It's been spoken about enough, you think. Fears and insecurities are important, yes, but Jeongguk has had to listen to you whine so much about your own. You must sound like a broken record by this point. You're sure of it.
You're the one who has to change the record. You know he'll just let it play out, otherwise.
Reaching over to the back of his desk chair, you smile. Pick up the striped baseball shirt that matches the myriad of shirts in his brother's room.
"Giants fan, too?"
Jeongguk notices your change in topic, but chooses to let it slide. Will never force you to talk about things. Built a friendship off of mutual respect for one another's boundaries. Ain't gonna push them now.
Instead, he smiles. "Busan born and raised. 'Course I am."
"01," you sound out loud, tracing the number on the back with your index finger. "For your birthday, right?"
"Right," he nods, nibbling down on his bottom lip. Feels nervous, for some obscure reason.
This? Right here? You exploring his childhood bedroom? This is intimacy, to him.
It's why 'take a girl home' was on one of his birds.
The way he's feeling right now has no logical fucking explanation. Can't make sense of it. Doesn't understand it. Just understands that anything you do now will only deepen the complexities of how he's feeling.
And so when you turn, and give him a look he knows all too well, he knows he's done for.
"Don't give me those eyes," he warns. Has missed them.
"What eyes?" you flirt, totally unaware of the fact Jeongguk thinks he might die if you do keep giving him 'those' eyes.
He laughs. "Your bedroom disco ball eyes."
There's not that much glitter on you now. It's scattered all over your cheeks, remnants of the previous night's glitter still staining you. It doesn't matter even if you don't deliberately wear glitter - you're always covered in it regardless. Just another thing for him to obsess over when he's alone at night and thinking about you.
"Close your eyes, then," you tease.
He's in no position to let himself get carried away.
So he does.
Sits prettily, posture perfect, hands in his lap. Still just in his sweats, there's something about Jeongguk like this that makes you wanna make bad decisions.
When he hears the crumple of your shirt hitting his bedroom floor, he closes his eyes even tighter.
"Fuck you," he grins.
"What?"
"Fuckin' undressing in front of me when I'm trying to be good. It's like you want me to have a raging boner."
Laughing, you tell him that he can open his eyes. "I'm covered."
He doesn't believe you. Turns his head slightly. Cracks just a single eye half open. Whines.
"What?!" you feign innocence, knowing exactly what you've done. It's written all over the smug smile etched into your cheeks.
Raking the sight of you in, Jeongguk only groans more. Flops down onto his bed. Buries his head into his pillow, and groans even louder.
"What?" you repeat this time with a giggle, as you finish buttoning up the front of his baseball shirt. It finishes midway down your thighs, a little shorter than most of his shirts. Slightly more fitted. Is a little tight across your chest.
"You would have been less hot if you were naked ," he whimpers rather pathetically. Sits back up. Looks at you as if you've just put one of his Girls Generation posters through a paper shredder. A little bit of anguish. Betrayal, almost. "Fuckin' Lions girl in a Giants shirt ."
Saying it out loud is too much. He groans again and flops, once more, back down into his sheets. Pretends to cry.
"You're torturing me. This is torture . Look it up in a dictionary. Torture. Will just be a picture of you right now. Tortuuuuuure. Won't let me fuck you, but will go and do shit that you know will give me a hard-on." He pouts. Pulls his head up a bit to look over at you. "This is very unfriendly, B."
"What?" you tease. "Me wearing your shirt? Or you having a boner because of it?"
He frowns. Huffs. "Both."
"You need to learn self-control," you deadpan. "Consider this training."
"Consider this the end of our friendship."
Laughing, you don't take his petulant little remark seriously.
You really should do.
Not because your friendship is going to end, but because Jeongguk doesn't think your friendship can ever be the same. Not now.
And that in itself is a terrifying prospect.
The fact you don't even seem to realise?
It's the kinda shit that's gonna keep him up at night.
"C'mon," you call, satisfied with your teasing, unaware of the limbo he's in. "Breakfast."
You're already out of the room and walking down the hallways by the time Jeongguk gets himself together. Shaking his head, he rubs a hand over his face, pushing it back into his hair.
Just like you're fearful of making the same mistakes again, so is Jeongguk. He can already feel it happening, and he hates himself for it. Wrecked his friendship with Hayun 'cause he couldn't control his feelings. Is terrified the same will happen with you.
He's gotta rein it in. He has to rein it in. There's no other option.
After Busan, he tells himself. I'll sort myself out when I get back to the city. Will get my head straight. Stop myself from ruining things.
But for now?
He'll let himself indulge in his romanticisation of you. Will express his desire without care for the consequences. Will show you, once and for all, that intimacy can be fleeting without it being harmful.
Eventually, Jeongguk comes to stand beside you as you wash your hands in the kitchen. Washes his too. Says nothing. Just smiles. Flicks you with the water instead of drying them off.
"Asshole," you smile, not fussed in the slightest, but wary to fight back. You weren't born yesterday. You know how shit like this goes - so you don't wet him. You dry your hands off normally, much to his disappointment. "What are we having?"
He shrugs. "Not fussed. Could just cook some ramyeon?"
"Fine with me," you nod. Aren't really much of a breakfast person, so you'll just have whatever he wants. "What kind?"
Jeongguk walks over to a tall cupboard beside the stove, opening it up to reveal supermarket-level organisation. Years of living with two teenage boys meant his mother had created a robust storage system. She had to, given the amount the pair of them ate.
Standing behind him, there's a cautiousness to your hands as they gently hold onto his waist. Your nails scratch ever so slightly, in that same way that always makes Jeongguk melt into your touch.
"Hey," he says quietly.
"Hi," you smile, as he continues to peruse the cupboard. He's already spotted the ramyeon he wants. Doesn't wanna lose your touch, though. Will pretend to look for a little while longer.
Jeongguk's toned back is all you can see; the valley of his spine so deep you think it'd be a great place to get lost in. Warm skin, hard muscles, he's a myriad of complexities that not enough people appreciate. Deserves to be adored.
"You have so many teeny tiny freckles," you observe fondly. Have always liked it about him. Think that if they really are kisses from angels, then it only makes sense Jeongguk has so many.
"You think?"
"Mhmm. Loads."
"Where?"
It's a silly question. He knows it is. Just wants to keep you exactly where you are.
"Right..." You raise to your tippy toes. Hold his waist a little tighter to keep you balanced. Let your lips softly against his shoulder blade. "...Here."
One of his hands rests against yours. "That's only one. You said there were more."
You let his fingers lace with yours. Smile against his back. Sink down from your tippy toes. "There are."
He's so quiet, so sincere, as he says, "Show me."
Your lips trail down his back. Press against the small dark fleck a little lower, slightly closer to his spine. "There."
The way he inhales as your lips apply a little pressure lets you know he's trying to control himself. His urges. Wants. Needs. Desires.
"Where else, B?" he whispers.
Your lips trail even further down. Move to the other side of his back. Plant a pretty kiss on his skin, and yet it's his heart that blooms.
For all Jeongguk knows, you could be lying. Never really looks at his back other than when he's checking his form in the gym. Doesn't pay attention to the freckles dappled on his skin.
"Any more?" he asks, not wanting you to ever stop.
There's no objection from him as you turn his body around. His sweats are tenting, the loose fabric now strained - and yet you ignore it. Make no mention of it. Don't even let your eyes drop.
And so he doesn't mention it either. Just watches you. What you do. The way your lashes splay on the top of your glitter-stained cheeks as you press a kiss into the freckle on his ribcage.
On your tiptoes again, your lips find the freckle beneath his collarbone. In the dip of his muscles by his shoulder, there's something about this one that you especially love. You're not sure why. Maybe it's because you know very few people will know where to find it. Maybe it's because you like his chest just as much as he likes yours.
You reach for his hands as you do so. He doesn't object. You aren't holding them. Just holding onto them. Wonders when the fuck you would have noticed the freckles that he knows must be coming next.
Sure enough, you pull away. Don't look up at him. Just look at his hands as you raise them to your eye level. Check them over. Find what you're looking for. Just below the knuckle of his pinky is yet another freckle. Oh, he's covered . Adorned in so many tiny little blessings. His cheeks, by his eyes, down his chest, on his thighs; mapped out like constellations, they're endless. His very own glitter.
You're not certain if it's intentional, but Jeongguk's head tilts. Exposes his throat a little for you. Gets his neck freckle in prime position.
You ignore it. Save it for later. Keep his hands elevated. Kiss his palm; the pad beneath his thumb.
"How do you even notice them?" Jeongguk says fondly as he looks down at you with ever-adoring eyes. "You're so obsessed with me."
Shaking your head, you lower his hands. "Just observant."
Using his hips to balance yourself, you lower yourself, now. Jeongguk's breathing is a little irregular, lungs beating all out of sync. Just makes that freckle on his ribcage even more precious, now.
"Oh yeah?" he encourages. Brings that freckle-adorned hand of his down to stroke your cheek. "What else have you observed?"
Your hands slide from his hips to his thighs as you crouch. Eyes parallel to his crotch, you're sure he doesn't really want the current answer. Thick and firm, his cock is a sight to behold even when it's hidden beneath his grey sweats.
"Let me see your skin," you say instead. Glance up at him. Don't even realise you're wetting your lips. Are too consumed with anticipation - and so is he, judging by the way he fucking twitches.
Jeongguk could push his sweats down. Could give you total access.
But he knows you. Knows you're a fucking tease, and that the only way he's gonna get what he wants is if he plays you at your own game.
Hand still on your cheek, he uses the other to palm himself. "Don't think I've got any freckles here," he lies.
You're impatient. Forget that you're the one taking your time. "You should let me check."
He purses his lips together, as if to feign uncertainty. Is a little insolent in his tone. Deliberately bratty, 'cause he wants you to beg for it. "But I'm hard , B. You don't want my big hard cock in your face."
Oh, on the contrary.
"A sacrifice I'm willing to make," you assure him, as if you aren't salivating at the thought of it.
His tattooed thumb strokes your cheek. Brushes against your lip. There's no freckle there, but you press a kiss to it regardless. Part your lips. Let him sink his thumb onto your wet tongue. Eyes wide and focused up on him, the air around you both seems to get thinner. 
Neither of you breathe properly. 
Shallow breaths keep you alive, but only just.
Lips closing down around his thumb, giving him the kind of visual that'll finish him off in ten seconds flat if he's not careful, Jeongguk shakes his head. "Sounds like you don't want it."
It's in times like these that you hate Jeon Jeongguk. He knows how much you want him. Knows you wouldn't be in a position like this if you didn't. Knows that he's asking you to swallow pride.
Sliding his thumb from between your lips, oh-so-satisfied with the way it feels, Jeongguk shrugs. "Tell me what you want, B. Big girl words."
The urge to roll your eyes is resisted. Fine. You'll be pliant. Be good for him. Get him all stuttery and whiney, then you'll remind him who's really in control.
But for now you pout. Get a little closer. Study his outline. Press a kiss midway up his shaft where you know a freckle hides.
"There," you whisper, looking back up at him as he releases the claw clip from your hair. Wants it loose. Wants his fingers in it. "I'm pretty sure your freckle is there. Just let me check. Please, Jeongguk."
He takes a moment. Wants to make you beg more - but fuck. He's so fucking hard. A full day since he initiated this little stalemate, and he's regretted it ever since.
And so he nods.
"Yeah. Yeah, okay, baby." His hand pushes into his sweats. Wraps around his firm length. Keeps it hidden. Strokes once. Twice. Rasps, "show me how good your memory is. Smart girl, aren't you? Smart, pretty baby."
You nod. Feel so pathetic, and needy, but it's been so long since you've been this desperate, and he's saying all the right things. You love it when he gets a little derogatory, granted - but when he compliments? Oh, you really will be smart for him. Would do fucking equations, if he asked.
"Tell me," he husks before he reveals himself to you. "Tell me how smart you are."
He likes it when you're kind to yourself. Always makes your eyes glow a little differently.
You shake your head. Say, "don't wanna tell you. Wanna show you."
And who is he to refuse?
One of his hands stretches his waistband a little, as the other pulls his cock free from its cotton restraints - and you fucking whine . Oh, it's perfect . Your disco ball eyes fucking glimmer. Shine.
As soon as he lets go of his cock, your hand replaces his. Grips around his base. Strokes a little. Thick and engorged, he's so pleased to see you. His slightly flared tip is so pretty and pink, his small slit dewy and wet from the excitement of the build-up.
"Just checking," you whisper as you slowly begin to wank his shaft. One of his hands is already in your hair. His tongue swipes across his bottom lip as he watches you, catching on his lip ring.
He nods. Encourages you to keep 'checking'. Can't even remember what the fuck you were checking for, now.
"Like that," he mumbles. Almost chokes on his own breath when your tongue licks against his head. A wet strip of your spit cools in the air. Feels in-fucking-sane. "Oh, fuck."
You do it again. Whatever he says this time is incoherent. Seems like he's forgotten how to talk.
And when you pull back a little? Ease his foreskin back? Get him all exposed and pretty for you? Gather enough spit in your mouth to make your hand feel like your pussy? Yeah . You know he's gonna forget how to breathe, too.
He squirms a little when he's fully retracted. Loves the grip you have on him. Doesn't know what's coming next - which is probably a good thing. He'd nut if he had to think about it for more than a split second.
You line yourself up. Tease a little wetness through your lips and onto his head. Stroke it across with your thumb.
"Fuck."
The noise that Jeongguk lets out when you finally spit on his cock? Heavenly.
You've never been one for religion, really, but think that God must have spent a little while longer crafting Jeongguk. It's why he's got so many damn freckles. Marks of a great creator, or some bollocks like that. A stamp of approval. One for each body part. Wouldn't be surprised to find a freckle on his big toe. They're bloody everywhere else.
Spreading your spit with the hand wrapped around his cock, you begin to pick up the pace. Wank him off like he deserves. Get him twitchy and whiny - but you both know he deserves more .
"That's it," he manages to say as you begin to tease him with your tongue. Up his shaft; around his sensitive head. Wet, needy kitten licks are paired with long, slow stripes, your wet lips kissing against him as if you don't have an aversion to such an intimate act.
One hand wrapped at the base, your other is gripping into his tight to keep you balanced.
It needn't be, for as soon as you take him in your mouth, Jeongguk's hands are in your hair.
"That's it," he rasps, head thrown back briefly as he pulses his hips to fuck himself a little further into your mouth. He can't look away for too long. Needs to see how pretty you are with his cock in your mouth - and yet as soon as he does, he knows he can't look at you for too long either. Too gorgeous. Too much glitter. Too fucking good for him. "Fuck yeah."
Your pace increases for him. You wanna keep him feeling this good. Keep him moaning. Keep his lip shaky and his tummy tense. He's so pretty when his brows are pushed together, chest heaving. His lip ring catches in the morning light that pours through the kitchen, as his deep dark eyes drink you in.
Working your way up and down his shaft, it's impossible to keep your eyes on him, and you hate it. All you wanna do is watch his face as he comes undone, but this isn't about you. It's about him, and making him feel good.
"Shit," he husks as he hits the back of your throat for the first time. You're surprised it took this long, but he's only just started to fuck your face like he wants to. Hands in your hair, hips a little erratic, he's the one in charge of the pace. "Such a good girl for me."
You whine, the sound vibrating around him. Pulling back, you release him, desperate for fucking air. It's not like he was cutting off your airways, you just sort of forgot that you had to breathe for a bit.
"Oh, fuck," he rasps, entranced by your breathlessness. The way you don't really stop? Spit on his cock again? Work your hand up his shaft? Yeah. He's obsessed. "Good girl, aren't you?"
Nodding, you hum in agreement. "So good for you, Koo."
You're surprised by the way Jeongguk encourages you up. Edges you back. Gets your ass perched against the island counter. He dips. Lifts you. Cleans up the evidence of a sloppy blowjob from your chin with his thumb.
Knows that if he'd have spent even a moment longer in your mouth, he would have cum.
It's too soon for that. He wants this to last, now that you're finally giving up on the bratty act. Spent a day going insane; delirious almost from his need to fucking finish. Funny, how now that it seems like an attainable goal, he's putting it off.
Of course he is, though. His favourite thing about fucking you isn't his own orgasms. It's yours .
There's no thought to your movements as your legs spread, just like there are no thoughts in his head as he stands between them. Hands on your thighs, Jeongguk's eyes are on yours. There's a fire burning behind them; a desire to ignite you, too.
The flames are too bright, you think. He'll scorch the earth. Reduce everything to ash.
And yet you don't take your eyes off his. You let him scar your soul. Time and time again, you let him.
It's the only proof you have that Jeon Jeongguk wants you. Wants to have you. To fuck you. To belong to you. Belong with you.
You shake the thoughts from your head. Know it's getting dangerous. Know that you just need little relief to start thinking normally again. You may have been torturing him by not putting out, but it hasn't been easy for you either.
His deft hands stroke up your thighs, a finger hooking beneath your underwear. He doesn't care for niceties. Get your pussy exposed. Is so fucking pleased to see how soaked you already are. Doesn't even need to tease you.
He just sinks his fingers straight into you. Two of them. Thick. Strong. Curved just right. Gets you gripping his shoulders, a gasp being bitten down into his skin. There's no wasted time. Jeongguk doesn't let you adjust. Doesn't ease the rhythm. Just picks up pace. Always fucks you so well with his hand, and now is no exception.
"Fuck," you whimper, because it's all you can manage.
"God," he husks, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Grits his teeth as he says, "you're so wet for me, B. So fuckin' wet. All from having my cock in your mouth, huh?"
"Gguk," you rasp back, breaths stuttering on account of how well he's edging you. Hands reaching for his cock, you're pleased when he moans into your touch. It's gentle, and half the speed at which he's pumping into you - but you aren't trying to make him cum. At least, not yet.
His breathy sigh of pleasure vibrates against your ear, his head shaking ever so gently. He's not saying no; simply expressing disbelief that it's possible to feel so fucking good. The sensation is suffocating; steals the air from his lungs, and yet his heart has never beat faster.
"Let me fuck you," he begs quietly, breaths heavy. "Let me fuck this cunt."
His thumb begins to work against your clit. He strokes. Caresses. Touches you just right. Gets you mewling. Gets you wanting more. You whine his name.
"Yeah?" he husks. Presses a kiss to the top of your ear. "You want that? Want me inside you, huh? Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me."
All you can do is nod. Whimper.
There's a tremble to your lips; a plea waiting to tumble from them.
Until all rather suddenly, Jeongguk's fingers ease. Brows furrow. He glances behind himself, and curses. Withdraws. "Hold that thought." Taps your knees. "Down, baby."
Panic written all over your features, you hop off the kitchen counter as Jeongguk lunges to flick the kettle on and rip open a packet of ramyeon. He's covering his tracks. Trying to make it seem like he wasn't about to do inexcusable things with you in his family's kitchen.
"Your cock is literally out," you hiss quietly, frantically smoothing down the shirt of his that's over your shoulders. You move quickly. Reach for the claw clip on the counter. Twist your hair up.
"Fuck," he curses, hissing just as quietly as you, both trying to restore some form of dignity. His sweats are quickly tugged a little further up, but his boner is still just as present. "Hands, hands, hands."
You're not sure if he's talking to you or himself, but he darts to run his hands under the tap, ridding his fingers of you.
There's a beep. The keypad of the front door slides up. Four more beeps. The passcode is being typed in.
"Shit," he whispers. Looks across to make sure you're decent and thanks the lucky stars you caught on to his panic as quickly as you did. "Take over ramyeon duty. I gotta stand behind the island."
He doesn't need to explain. He's still hard. Has to hide it.
You do as you're told.
Jeongguk's shirt covers you decently, but you're not a total idiot. You know how it looks.
"Oh!" The sound of Jeongguk's mother rounding the corner almost makes you grimace - but you've got a role to play. Gotta pretend like you haven't just had her sons- No. Shut up. Don't think about it. "Didn't realise you two would still be home!"
"Mum," Jeongguk smiles, sitting on one of the island stools while you add boiling water to the pot by the stove. "You're home early?"
There's a rustle of bags on the counter, the sweet smell of her rose perfume filling the air. "No, I'm not - it's midday!"
"Since when do you only work until midday?!" Jeongguk questions, absolutely baffled.
"Morning," you interrupted, turning to give his mother a smile. She reciprocates, and laughs when you say, "or is it afternoon? I never know what midday is."
"Afternoon, I think," she says, then pauses. Shifts her weight to one hip. Looks into the distance. Hums in consideration. "Actually, I'm not sure now you mention it."
Jeongguk looks between you both in the same way he'd look at two puppies chasing their tails. Arguably the two most important women in his life - fiercely independent, incredibly smart and generally better than him - and wonders how the fuck you don't understand how days work.
"Think I'm losing brain cells," he simply states, to which his mother scolds him. He widens his eyes. Pouts a little. Hides a giggle. "Sorry."
"And anyway, young man!" She changes the topic, and begins to put her shopping away. It's just a few bits and bobs from the mart across the road; peppers and a bottle of sauce that Jeongguk's father loves. "Why are you making our guest do the cooking? We both know you'll be the one scoffing it all down!"
There's something incredibly considerate about Jeongguk's mother. She didn't have to refer to you as 'our' guest. She could have said 'your'. Instead, she groups herself in with Jeongguk. Likely groups the whole family together in that statement. Is a woman of inclusion; sunshine on a cloudy day.
Jeongguk whines; behaves exactly as you'd expect him to when at home. Is the youngest child through and through. You knew he could be pouty, but it's tenfold, now.
"Honestly, I raised you better, Jeon Jeongguk," she tuts - but she's smiling. Throwing you a playful glance.
It's a back-and-forth: Jeongguk's mum pretends to tell him off, and he pretends to be upset about it.
"Does he make you do all the cooking back home, too?" she sighs, turning her full attention to you - and that's when she notices what you're wearing.
You're in a striped baseball shirt. Lotte Giants. At first glance, Jeongguk's mum is incredibly confused - but then she notices the 01 in place of the 12 that is on Jeongmins shirt. The name arched above the number? Jeon Jeongguk.
You think nothing of the way her eyes flicker over to Jeongguk, a knowing smile on her lips. Think that she's still just mucking around.
Jeongguk interrupts again, because of course he does.
"Back home?" he scoffs at the implication. "We're not dating."
You laugh now, too, because the suggestion seems absurd.
Before his mum can call bullshit on him, he adds, "she does make a mean pasta though. Shit's delicious -"
"Language."
"Sorry. I mean, it's really good. Next time you come to visit, I'll hire her as our personal chef."
"Do I get a say in this?" You laugh, taking the ramyeon off the heat. "Strainer?"
Jeongguk's mum pulls open a drawer in the island, where the sieve is sitting on top of some pans. Realises you're a little too far to reach it, so kindly passes it to you.
"No," Jeongguk says, then turns his attention to his mum again. "You got plans this afternoon?"
She nods. Snacks on a grape from the punnet she picked up in the mart. "Remarkably, my life doesn't revolve around you."
"I'm literally your child."
"You're twenty-five years old."
"That is beyond the point," Jeongguk scoffs in faux offence. "So it doesn't matter if we're not around?"
She shakes her head. Finishes her grape. Reaches over to the sink draining board to get you both a pair of chopsticks as you dish the ramyeon up into a stainless steel bowl that Jeongguk had already set out for you. "Of course not. It's a nice day, you two should go out. I've got a hair appointment and then I'm meeting your auntie for coffee. Won't be around until this evening. Do you two fancy dinner? I could see if your cousins are around?"
Jeongguk shakes his head as he begins to chow down on the ramyeon before you've even hopped up on the stool next to him. He can be the most considerate man in the world, but as soon as he's presented with food? All manners evade him.
"Don't put yourself out," he eventually says, pushing the bowl a little further over so that it's between you both equally. Kicks you gently with his foot as you take your seat. Doesn't let his satisfaction show when you kick him back. "I'm not sure what we're doing yet, so don't worry about making plans. We'll figure it out."
"If you're sure?" she offers, but Jeongguk insists. "Alright then, I best be off. Clean up the kitchen before you go out, hm? You, Jeongguk." she emphasises, before she smiles at you. "Not you, sweetheart. He needs to learn how to give and take." Sighs. "Boys."
"Hey!" Jeongguk protests, mouth half full. Swallows it down. Rants. "I always wash up when she cooks. Every time! She never has to ask!"
His mum simply raises a brow. "So you do cook together back home?"
For reasons you can't pinpoint, your cheeks flame. That mouthful Jeongguk had just swallowed? Yeah. He chokes on it.
She doesn't wait for a response. Just heads for the door with a chuckle. "Clean up!"
"Heard you the first time!" Jeongguk stresses back, but the door is closed behind her before any more can be said.
As soon as the lock whirs, confirming it's shut, Jeongguk tosses his chopsticks down. Slouches his posture, and lets out a breath so deep it's like he hasn't been breathing the entire time. Shakes his head. Laughs.
You do the same.
He looks over to you, face a little bunched up. There's a small grin on his face, but you know it's from relief more than anything. "I'm so fucking sorry."
You laugh, now too. Nudge his knee with yours. Don't object when his hand rests on top of it, thumb stroking your skin.
"She so fucking knew ," you whine, pouting as you lean forward to rest your forehead against the island counter. Groan. "Mortifying."
Jeongguk shakes your leg in his grip and lets it go again. Strokes your back now, instead. Soothes you.
"She didn't," he deludes himself. Considers it for a moment. Decides, "well, at least I don't think she knows we were like... yanno. She definitely thinks you're in love with me, though."
You sit up. Pull away from him. Look at him with the utmost disgust.
"ME?!" You roar. "In love with YOU?! Oh please."
"You were cooking for me, wearing my shirt, in my house," he reminds you. "It's like you've got a little crush, B. So cute."
"Please," you scoff, getting to your feet, and heading back to Jeongmin's room. You wanna get changed and ready for the day. Think that maybe going out would do you good. "Wouldn't fancy you even if you were the last man on earth."
Jeongguk just smirks as you walk away. "Weird. If you don't fancy me, why was my cock in your mo-"
"SHUT UP!"
Quietly laughing to himself in the kitchen, Jeongguk curses suddenly - because apparently even the mere mention of you sucking his dick makes him twitch. He throws his head back. Groans. Whyyyy .
He decides against trying to reignite the fire that was burning between you earlier. The moment is gone - and you really ought to do something with your day.
"How do you feel about a hike?" He calls through to Jeongmin's room as he walks into his own.
"How do you feel about masturbating with a cheesegrater?" You reply, because like fuck are you hiking in these temperatures. It's still winter. The air is dry and the winds burn.
"What is wrong with you?!" he shrieks, clearly putting a little imagination to your question. "That's grotesque."
"So is a hike in this weather!"
"It's nice!"
"The sun is shining. That's all. Still bloody freezing."
He knows you're right - he just really likes one of the coastal trails, and thinks you'd like it, too. He's not gonna push for you to do it, though. You can always just do it next time.
"Alright then," he concedes through the wall. "You wanna be tourists for the day?"
"I've never seen Gamcheon," you admit. The culture village - a myriad of colourful houses and murals - is a little far out. A steep hike up hilly streets or a rickety green bus is the only way you can access it. You hate those buses almost as much as you hate hills - and it's a shame, because you know it's iconic. You just always choose to spend your time in Busan down by the coast, instead.
"Never seen-" he shrieks again, this time in disbelief. "Alright. We'll go there. We'll get the bus, though. Ain't parking up there. It's a nightmare, even in the winter."
You agree, because you know no matter how much you dislike those buses, Jeongguk being there will make it so much better. He has a way of alleviating your stresses. Makes everything okay. Just like a best friend should.
And so you set off on your afternoon. Follow his lead.
He's your unofficial tour guide for the afternoon. Shows you around the myriad of colourful houses. Tells you bullshit stories about their origins, and you pretend to believe him. He shows you a mural of some idols.
"Not sure who they are. Handsome, though."
You agree. "One of them looks a bit like you."
"You think?"
"Mhmm."
"I'm better looking."
"Sure you are."
The afternoon is lost and found in a maze of patterns and paintings; mosaics and murals. He takes you to his favourite cafe. The coffee is shit, but the owner has pet ducks that waddle around, so it makes it all worth it. You get every stamp on the little map around the village. A hundred photos are taken. Jeongguk photobombs a solid 50%. Laughs at himself every time. He doesn't mind it when you photobomb his. In fact, he prefers those pictures.
By the time you're done with the village, you're starving . Have been on your feet for so long that it feels like they might fall off.
The area you're in is a little run down; paint peeling off the walls of old retail buildings. There's half a dozen hostess bars, and just as many motels to accommodate the illicit deals that are made in the dead of night.
There's a KTX station just a few blocks over, so it makes sense. Just because red-light districts have been outlawed doesn't mean they don't still exist. The neon signs are just pink now, and the girls do technically work in the service industry - they just earn their tips from a slightly different service.
"Okay, I know it seems sketchy, but trust me," Jeongguk promises when you walk past a Greecian-themed motel, complete with nude statues by the entryway. "The neighbourhood is questionable, yes, but I swear it's got the best chicken in Busan."
Again, just like earlier, you follow his lead. Blindly trust him. Let him drag you into a chicken place that looks like it was built in the middle ages - and that's how you know it's good.
"Not sure what I want," you muse, checking over the menu in front of you when you eventually pick a table towards the back of the shop. It's outrageously large. A3 sheets. No menu needs to be so huge. Kind of irritates you - but everything does when you're as frustrated as you are right now. Your eyes flicker up to his, a smile resting on your glossy lips. "What's tasty in Busan?"
Jeongguk looks at you. Shrugs. 
Throws you an expression that you just know means trouble.
He doesn't even bother to look at the menu before he replies.
"You should know. You've already had a Busan delicacy in your mouth this morning."
Such a boy.
"Was it really that good?" you banter back. "Can't remember. Think I'll have to try it again."
"Can't remember?" he snorts. "You couldn't stop going back for more, B. You know you loved it."
"Did I?" you toy with his ego a little, just because you can. "Maybe I just didn't want the chef to feel bad."
"Oh really?" he laughs. "Well fine. In that case, I'm sure you won't mind if someone else tries it, instead?"
"Someone else?"
"Anyone else," he nods. "Just cause you didn't like it doesn't mean someone else won't. Might even become their favourite food."
Sounds like a threat - and for some reason, it works.
"Said I'll try it again," you insist. The idea of him letting someone else have him? Yeah. You don't like it. "Don't deprive a girl of a perfectly good meal just 'cause she isn't sure if she likes it. Sometimes you need a second taste."
"Is that what you want?" Jeongguk asks as he reclines into his seat. Your mind flashes to his bedroom; his tie around your wrists. Fuck . "You want a second try?"
You shrug your shoulders. Recline, too. Mirror his body language.
In tandem, your bodies feel naturally inclined to reflect one another. It's innate. Intrinsic. Night and day.
You think he's midday; sweltering heat and nothing to hide. Think that maybe you're midnight; a shooting star to make an ill-fated wish upon.
If Jeongguk were to ever learn of these thoughts, he'd probably agree - but thinks you're midnight for a dozen different reasons. None of them bad.
He thinks, primarily, that you're the embodiment of every star that has ever burned through the height of midnight. You're all of the secrets ever hidden away, illuminated only by moonlight, whispered between friends. You're nervous touches in darkened rooms, and the cosmic entities that dapple his brain whenever his eyes are closed.
He met you at midnight, and time has never really functioned normally since.
The concept of days are lost on him. He doesn't count in minutes nor hours. Now, it's simply time passed since he last saw you , or time yet to pass until he sees you again .
And in those fleeting moments when he's looking at the cosmos herself? 
Well, time stands still. Ceases to exist.
Romanticisations of you are typically reserved for moments alone; when Jeongguk's brain is empty of everything except the scent of your perfume and the loss of your touch.
More often than not, it occurs at midnight - and that just solidifies his conclusions of your character.
The restaurant you're in is busy. There are people chattering, vibrant oranges coating the walls and rogue neon lights polluting his vision. Fryers sizzle, alarms ring, tills ding. There's chaos. Pandemonium. An overload for anyone's senses.
And yet, Jeongguk's brain is working just like it does when he's alone. It's you, you, you. That's all he can focus on.
"How hungry are you?" Jeongguk asks, reading into the way you're mirroring him.
He isn't asking about food. You both know this.
"Fucking starving."
His head tips back, lips pressing together, his silver ring flipping ever so slightly in the corner of his mouth as he withholds a satisfied laugh.
As he looks back down at you, he edges forward in his chair. Rests his elbows on the table. Clasps his hands beneath his chin and glances to the side. Checks who's within earshot. Figures the rest of the people in the restaurant are too far away to hear. Is so hard in his jeans that he doesn't give a shit even if they do hear. Let them.
"Me too."
"Oh yeah?" you tease, sultry in how your posture remains as it was. "Watcha fancy, huh? Watcha wanna taste?"
Stupid fuckin' question, he wants to laugh, but now isn't the time. If he didn't know better, he'd think you were flirting.
And so he shrugs now.
"Same thing I wanted this morning, B."
Again, you both know the insinuation - but you wanna be vulgar. Wanna be direct. Wanna get him all hot beneath his collar and hard in Calvins. Aren't aware he's already throbbing.
"Oh," you purr, subtleties well and truly abandoned. "So you wanna eat my pussy?"
He has to stop himself from groaning. Thinks he might die.
Looks around himself again. Hates that you're in the booth seat. Wishes he was on that side with you. There's a safety that comes with it. A little extra darkness. The ability to hold a hand and have no one know.
Not that hand-holding is commonplace for you. Yesterday was an anomaly. A bird. Might be revised one day, but it's best not to make a habit of it.
"Say it," you smirk regardless, clearly enjoying the tease. Lift your chin a little. Challenge him. "Tell me how much you want it."
You're not even sure why you're doing this. Just enjoy the confirmation that you're still wanted. You like how you're able to get Jeongguk hot under the collar, even if you don't make his heart beat faster.
Though you may not have his heart, you have his attention - and after everything the pair of you have weathered, it's comforting.
"B, there are people-"
You don't care. "Tell me how much you wanna eat me out."
"B," he warns. There's an agitation in his voice. Frustration.
You pout. Give him your best wide-eyed gaze. Make sure you're extra whiny when you beg, "Please, Koo."
"Fuck," he curses. Adjusts in his seat. Presses down on himself. Thinks if he was ever gonna cum in pants, it would be now. "Don't call me that."
If you do it again, he'll surely die. Decides he can't risk it.
"Tell me-"
"I wanna fucking drown in it," he grits, interrupting you so harshly it actually shocks you. Makes you gasp. Tongue ties you - and oh, how Jeongguk loves it when you're lost for words. So he continues. Get nastier . Whispers. This is just for you. All for you. "I wanna make you cum, B. Wanna make you cum like I did on New Year's. Wanna make you squirt . And then? And then I wanna fucking drown in it."
It's only when he stops talking that he realises his chest is heaving a bit. So is yours.
He smirks. "Better?"
You look around now, too. Aren't really sure what you'd been expecting, but it wasn't that .
Letting out a small laugh of disbelief, you run your fingers back through your hair. Regain your poise. Pretend to be unaffected. Pretend like you didn't feel yourself getting wetter.
From the look on his face - Smug. Arrogant. - you know that he already knows. Asshole .
"We should order our food to go," you say, nodding as if that will make him agree. Don't know where you'll 'go' to, just know that you need privacy. A room with a door that can be locked and curtains that can be drawn. Soundproofing is preferable, but not essential.
He nods back. Thinks you should have suggested it from the get-go.
"B I'm not fucking kidding. Been fucking hard for like, 48 hours. I gotta-"
"I know," you laugh fondly. It's been aeons since you were this ravenous. Love his outfit, but Christ . You wanna tear it off of him right this instant. "I'm not kidding either. Order to go."
"My mum's at home."
"So? I never said we'd go home."
"So what? You wanna get me arrested for public indecency?" Jeongguk smirks.
"Cuffs are kinda hot," you tease back - and then you're reminded of his room, and that stupid fucking tie that acted like a pair of cuffs and fuck . You don't even care about the food any more.
"You're not wrong," he says, then calls over to the server. As he approaches, a pleasant smile on his face, he's none the wiser that Jeongguk's cock is so hard it feels like he may die. Kind of makes you smile. He masks it well. Cute. "Can we order to take out, instead? Had a change of plans."
It's no problem. The waiter is happy to accommodate. Tells Jeongguk there'll be a ten-minute wait on the food.
"It's fine," Jeongguk smiles. "No rush."
And yet as soon as it's just the two of you again, Jeongguk whines.
"Swear if it takes even a second longer than ten minutes, we're going to the bathrooms."
"You're not fucking me in a chicken shop bathroom," you deadpan, realistically knowing you'd let him fuck you anywhere he likes.
"It's that or the table," he assures you, face just as straight as yours despite his ridiculous claim.
"Then you really will be arrested for public indecency."
"So will you," he reminds you. "How very Bonnie and Clyde of us."
"They die, yanno," you remind him right back. Think that he needs to brush up on his failed romance lore. "We'd make the local news."
"And I'll die if I don't cum in the next half an hour," he assures you. "We better not end up on the news for a chicken shop shag. My parents would disown me."
"That'd really blow my chances with your brother, wouldn't it?" you sigh. "Maybe we shouldn't."
Jeongguk doesn't like this suggestion. Frowns. Clarifies. "Shouldn't fuck? Or shouldn't fuck here?"
"Oh, just here," you assure him. Bite down on your bottom lip, cheeks rosy from just how indecent this entire conversation is. "Think we'll both die if we don't orgasm soon."
"Don't think I'm gonna last even, like, a minute," Jeongguk pouts, admitting his biggest worry. Wants you so bad, but doesn't think he'll be able to savour it like he wants to.
"So like normal, then."
"Fuck you."
You resist the urge to make another joke. Tell him to behave himself. You've only got a little while to wait for the food. Need a plan of action. Need to decide where the fuck you'll be able to relieve yourselves of the pent-up frustration. It was fun while it lasted, but it's unbearable now.
"Look, I won't lie, B," Jeongguk sighs. "There's only one solution here."
"Abstinence?"
"Are you fucking mental? No," he shakes his head. "Worse."
"Worse?"
"Worse."
You know what he's gonna suggest, 'cause you considered it too.
After all, the district you're in is known for them.
"You're not taking me to a fucking love motel, " you whisper in judgemental horror.
You know Jeongguk; know how particular he is about his laundry and cleanliness. He might be filthy in bed, but he's always the filthiest in the shower. Likes being able to wash away his sins. You think a motel would kill his boner instantly.
But it's the forbidden nature of them that makes him a little curious. He's never used one. Never needed to. Not until now. Used to be far better at controlling himself.
You kind of make him go a little crazy.
He can't remember ever choosing sex over food. Would always eat first.
But then again, you were never an option before now.
"Private room or public bathroom," Jeongguk simply shrugs, a little impatient. He's not in the mood to be making deals. "Take your pick."
"You'd rather die than use the bathroom," you say.
He agrees, but also says, "gonna die if you don't let me fuck you, regardless, so who cares?"
There's something oddly charming about that, you think.
There really isn't it. You're just too horny to fully comprehend the language anymore. Everything Jeongguk says sounds like a sonnet. He'll continue to whisper Elysian words worthy of Shakespeare himself until you reach post-cum-clarity.
And then you'll realise his words are just those of a boy desperately trying to get laid.
Until then, you'll bestow upon him admiration reserved for the greatest of poets. Will convince yourself no man has ever used language in the way that he has; that the twist of his tongue sounds as pretty as it feels when it's on your skin.
"And if I agree?"
Jeongguk looks at you like the answer is painfully obvious.
"You get fucked?" He shakes his head a little, confused at how you didn't already reach that conclusion. "Oh, just one thing, though."
The way he begins to grimace lets you know that you're not gonna like whatever it is. Still, you encourage him to continue.
He grits his teeth. Winces. "Gonna have to use your ID for check-in."
The facade slips, like glass shattering all around you. His status as your cheeky, yet infuriatingly charming best friend returns.
"What?!" You pout, voice all distressed and pathetic. "Why?"
"Because," he stresses. "What if the owner knows my parents?!"
"You look just like your dad," you remind him. "If they know your parents, they'll know it's you regardless of your ID."
"Plausible deniability," he counters. "But if they see my ID? No denying that I'm a Jeon."
You laugh, because you think Jeongguk's got the kind of face that stands out. Think that anyone who had met him even once would be able to pick him out from a crowd. He's not the type of person you just forget. One little flick of his lip ring? Yeah. Ain't no way anyone could get him out of their head.
"Look, we can make up a cover story," Jeongguk offers, clutching at straws. A playfulness returns to his eyes. "What if... we're a young married couple on the run. Nothing sleazy."
"On the run?!"
He grins. Finds your slight horror funny. "Yeah. Dangerous. Sexy."
You narrow your eyes. Decide to entertain him, 'cause how can you refuse?
"Fine," you eventually giggle. "How long have we been married?"
"6 years," Jeongguk says. Doesn't even have to think about it. Has always been good at playing make-believe. "Eloped as soon as we could. Our families don't approve."
"Oh?" You question, a little surprised. This doesn't bode well. "Still? After six years?"
"Still," he grins, enthralled by your willingness to play along despite your incessant need to challenge him. "I'm the son of a powerful businessman. You're the cleaner's daughter."
"Oh, a Cinderella-type story," you purse your lips. "But also fuck you. Feels very gender-role-conforming. How did I win your heart?"
It's a funny story... he thinks, but shakes his head. Now is no time for the truth.
"Firstly, it's not about gender - you're the smarter one. You work harder. Are the underdog of the story," he assures you, but you don't really buy it. Think he's just stupid. And a boy. And realise that actually maybe it's fitting. "You used to come with your mum to my parents' house. Would rearrange my sculptures-"
"Dolls."
"Shut up. Would rearrange them just to annoy me, and it did."
"But then?"
"Then I started arranging them back," he nods, pleased with the little story he's concocting. He really is a true romantic, you think, even if this is all just one long-winded attempt to get laid. "One thing lead to another and - boom - in love."
Okay, so maybe he isn't a fine detail kinda guy (although he totally is), but it's the thought that counts. He twinkles his fingers when he makes the sound effect, his big brown eyes just as sparkly.
Laughing, you can't help but find the whole situation ridiculous. Your order is getting bagged up by the front desk. You should get up. Should go.
But you don't.
You indulge in the fallacy of him, and his big ideas. Grand plans. Revel in them. Adore them.
"Okay," you begin to clarify the tall tale. "So we eloped. Been together for 6 years. Why are we in a motel?"
"Like I said, baby. We're on the run," he grins. You burst out laughing, so he just continues. Both pretend like he didn't just call you baby. Will chalk it up to him already being in character. "We're wanted by Interpol."
"Interpol?!"
"We scammed a Vegas casino," he tells you with a face straighter than a spirit measure. "Fled to Busan. Now we're darting into a motel because we think we're being tailed."
"And are we being tailed?"
"No," Jeongguk says. "Just paranoid. It will be our inevitable downfall - but for now, we're high on adrenaline and maybe a little something else, I don't know, so a motel seems like a safe bet."
"And once we're in?"
"I'll shave my head and you'll dye your hair," he deadpans. Has seen it in half a dozen films that always end in disaster. Naive of him to think yours won't. "Secure our new identities."
"And then?" You encourage once more.
"Well, then we'll fuck," he says nonchalantly, as if he hasn't just declared his intentions to the restaurant around you. Not like anyone heard. Not like he'd care even if they did. Let them know. Let them think about the way he'll claim you as his own. Let them imagine your pretty little face as he gets you coming undone. Let them know. "Re-consummate the marriage under our new identities."
He's looking at you with an intensity you don't quite recognise. You don't realise the thoughts behind his dark eyes. Are unaware his brain is as territorial as his cock is hard.
"Can we skip the hair part?" You whine. Don't want him to shave his head. Like his hair, and how it feels to lock your fingers in it.
"No."
"Please."
"No-"
"But I wanna fuck you," you pout softly. It takes him by surprise. Had momentarily forgotten how bold you were both being earlier. Was too lost in his fantasy. "Dying hair takes the best part of an hour. I can't wait that long. I'll die."
The way you stroke his ego makes his heart swell. Cock, too. A rush of blood pumps through his body. He's all testosterone and bad decisions, but he doesn't give a fuck. Won't give a fuck until he comes.
"God, you are horny," he teases. Likes it when you play hard to get, but likes it just as much when you're desperate.
"I was on my knees for you earlier," you remind him. "There's a reason we hadn't done that before."
"The reason being?"
"Gets me a little insatiable. I put the worship in cock worship," you sigh, an air of indifference to your tone. Despite the flirt, you're still able to pretend like you don't really give a fuck - and that just makes him want you more. "You put in the cock."
"Thanks," he laughs. "Guessed that much. You really like giving head, huh?"
"I like power," you simply say.
The truth of the matter is that yes, you like it. Love it. Adore the way men sound when they're all whiney and pathetic just as much as you like a guy who takes control with it.
"Power?" He raises a brow.
You smirk. Won't give him the truth. Instead, will reclaim your status as just a friend.
"One bite and I could ruin your life."
Jeongguk's smile explodes onto his face, a stunted laugh catching in his throat. "Okay, so I'm never putting my cock in your mouth again."
"No!" You say a little too quickly. "I mean, I wouldn't - but I could ."
"Yeah, nope," he just laughs, now. Is glad you're diverting the conversation a little. He needs to be able to stand up, soon. Needs his boner to soften a little. "Never again."
"But-"
"Absolutely not."
" Koo ."
"Don't call me that."
"You know you liked it," you remind him with a teasing grin. "You know you wanna fuck my mouth again, Koo ."
And God, you want it, too. Want his hands in your hair. Want his raspy little moans soundtracking the lewdness of him hitting the back of your throat.
"I'll stick it down your throat just to shut you up," he deadpans.
"And they say romance is dead."
"You're the one who loves sucking on my cock," he smirks. "Not exactly romantic."
"There's nothing more romantic than swallowing spunk," you say all very stoically. "You think I'd let just any man finish in my-"
"Y'know, sometimes I think you don't actually want to fuck," he laughs, cutting off your train of verbalised thought. "The shit you say is just so..."
He doesn't finish. Doesn't need to.
Unhinged? Confusing?
Either could apply. They'd both be correct.
"Put your cock in my mouth and you won't have to hear it."
He shakes his head. "Don't trust you not to bite, now."
"Pussy," you pout, realising you may have fucked it. Shouldn't have threatened violence against a cock as nice as his. Rookie error. Desperately try to claw back control. "Live life on the edge. Take a risk. Gamble a nibble to win a swallow. Worth it."
Regretfully, he thinks it is.
"Are you always like this?" Jeongguk asks, a little bemused. Gamble a nibble. You really are something else. "Like, is this how you seduce boys? Just confuse them into obsession?"
You shrug. Grin. "Sometimes. Not often, though. I'm not actually trying to seduce you, idiot. Just messing with you 'cause you're my best friend."
"Do you offer to suck all your bestie's dicks?"
"Danbi doesn't have a dick," you remind him. "Now, pussy on the otherha-"
"I don't need to know," Jeongguk decides. He's already got Jimin confirmation. Doesn't wanna have to think about you fucking anyone else he already knows.
"I'm just joking," you laugh. "Dan is straighter than a ruler."
"They're quite bendy, actually," Jeongguk corrects you.
"Maybe," you admit. "But they always snap back to a straight position."
He can't fault that logic. Thinks it's probably the best way to describe himself. Has his own curiosities and wonders, granted, but can't really imagine himself exploring them with anyone who doesn't have long-term partner potential - and when it comes to romance, he really is straighter than a ruler.
Kind of likes how open you are about your experiences. Makes him feel safe in exploring his own desires with you.
The conversation is ended by the server coming to retrieve you both. The bill is rung up, and Jeongguk pays. You let him. Will just transfer him half of the balance a little later.
Curiously, as he holds the door open for you, Jeongguk grabs onto your hand. Slides his fingers between yours.
"Making it believable," he just says when you chirp slightly. "We don't have rings. Gotta make the couple thing seem legit."
You don't have to do that in the slightest. It's perfectly acceptable for two young people to show up to a love motel together and rent it for a few hours.
Yet he keeps on holding your hand.
And you let him.
There's a motel a few blocks up, but you're hesitant.
"It's on the main road," you hiss just above the noise of traffic. The tips of your fingers are icy cold, but Jeongguk's keeping you warm for the most part.
"The quicker we get inside, the quicker this is over and done with," he assures you.
"Rude."
"Didn't mean it like that," he grins. Squeezes your hand. Pulls you a little closer as you continue down the path. Rests his lips against the crown of your head. Is quiet as he says, "gonna fuck you for hours, B."
You withhold a small laugh. "You're gonna nut as soon as you get in the room."
"Maybe," he admits with a soft grin. Presses a kiss against your head and pulls away a little. Restores his posture. Is confident in his strides. "Got a pair of hands and a mouth, though."
The mention of them almost makes you groan. "Fuck it," you concede. Pull on his hand to guide him towards the entrance of the motel.
You're no-nonsense as you get to the front desk. Let go of Jeongguk's hand. Get your ID and card out as he stands a little sheepishly behind you.
The place is dreary. Drab. Dark. Sin lines the walls and desire laces the air; a cesspit of human acts that are as hedonistic as they are hellish. The room rate is tacked up on the wall, thick black lines putting a price on privacy. Half a dozen numbers have been scribbled over, the price increasing with every stroke of the pen. Far more expensive than the going rate online, but you don't care. Will pay anything at this point.
There's no price that can be put on how it feels to be desired by Jeongguk. No monetary value could ever compare to the whisper of his lips against yours as he finishes. Priceless .
Card charged, ID photocopied for their records, you're given a key. Room 305. Your check out is the next morning, 'cause you couldn't bring yourself to ask for a day rate.
Silent as you step into the elevator, Jeongguk stands across from you. Food takeout in one hand, there's a casual arrogance to his stance. He leans back against the wall. Rakes down your body with his eyes as you press the button encouraging the doors to close.
Glancing up, you spy the camera in the top corner. Know it's flickering onto a grainy screen behind the front desk. There's an audience. Just one slightly older man who's probably seen far worse offenders than you and your 'husband' for the afternoon.
Jeongguk bites down on his lip. Grins. Lets his lips ring to do the thing. Shakes his head as if he can't believe his luck. Lets his eyes drop to his feet a little before the focus is back on you. Wants to speak. To say something impressive. Something that will make you want him.
But he's stumped. Just continues looking at you; your glitter, your pretty little smile, your sparkling eyes.
And so you're the one to break the silence. "Come here."
He does as he's told. Stops just an inch away from you. Looks down. Presses his lips in on themselves; makes sure they aren't dry. Whispers, "here."
Your hands trail up his throat, arms wrapping around his neck, as your feet press up to their tippy toes. His empty hand cradles your back, keeping your balance neutral.
"Missed a freckle earlier," you whisper. He hums. Encourages you to continue. Knows exactly which one it is. You lean closer. Let your lips graze his. "It's right here. Just below your lip."
So close, your nose nudges against his. Eyes close. Lips press down.
He reciprocates. Whines a little into the kiss. It's a luxury. One he knows not to waste. Grips your waist. Parts his lips. Lets your tongue stroke against his.
Hands in his hair, you know that anyone watching the CCTV stream would believe your lovebird story.
There's an unbridled desire between you both, one that can only be remedied naked - although you're pretty sure he could take you right here in the lift, and it would be just as satisfying (but then you really would get arrested for public indecency).
He pulls back slightly. Rests his forehead on yours. Keeps his eyes closed. You're breathing him in to stay alive.
"I didn't think we did 'that'," he husks. Didn't want it to stop. Just wants to be sure you want it.
And so when you press your lips back against his, ever so briefly, he smiles.
"We don't," you simply shrug as the elevator pulls to a stop. Loosening your grip, you smile. Wait for the doors, and pull him down the corridor as soon as they open. "But we aren't 'us', remember?"
Oh, how Jeongguk loves that you're always so willing to play. You'll feed into his make-believe, and pretend as if it doesn't affect your reality. The game is dangerous, but Jeongguk is safe.
The scrunch of his nose as he enthrals in your acceptance of his childish nature is evidence enough that making Jeongguk happy is the most rewarding task on the planet.
You think, for this reason, that you shouldn't blur the lines between friendship and fucking - but the key is in the door, and Jeongguk's lips are on your neck.
There's only one way this will end.
Turning to face him as the door clicks open, you let his lips find yours again. Will worry about the consequences later. Maybe.
"Gguk-" you mumble against him, eyes closed, following his guide as he pushes you both into the room. Your words are interrupted by the intrusion of his tongue licking against yours. He's desperate. Wants to be yours in every capacity he can be.
The way you grip a little tighter onto him, nails digging into his skin lets him know you don't mind.
Still, he takes a split second to grunt, "What is it?"
You're the one cutting off his words now as you press back up into his lips. Let his hands run all over your body. Pause only when the back of your legs hit something. You assume it's the bed. Are proven right when Jeongguk manoeuvres you both onto it. There's little discussion. Moans. Grunts. Nothing of any substance, yet it says so much more than any fucking word could.
He prizes your shirt off of you while you frantically unbuckle his belt. The sound of clattering metal unleashes something in you. Gets you so desperately needy. Has you taking your own trousers off as Jeongguk quickly stands to rid himself of his jeans.
"So fucking hot," Jeongguk praises as he prowls back on top of you, lips finding yours instantly. His tattooed arms keep him supported by your head, while his over dips to rub your clothed cunt. Precision nor accuracy matter. Above anything else, he just wants to be holding you. Claiming you. Your moans are an added bonus.
His lips break from yours to scatter wet kisses up your throat, tongue massaging the spot that always gets you panting. Beneath his body, you're squirming, overwhelmed by the way he's making you his.
He's rarely ever this quiet. You think it's because he's busy - and he is - but it's not why. It's because he doesn't trust himself. One lost thought spoken too soon could ruin everything, so he keeps his lips busy. Nips at the soft flesh of your chest. Wishes you weren't wearing your bra still. Is oddly perplexed to notice the set you're wearing. It's black. White banding. Calvin fuckin' Klein stitched into it. You're fucking matching him. He finds your lips again, 'cause it feels like his head is gonna explode.
Your hand clasps his wrist. Can barely make it halfway round. You're not stopping his movements. Just need a little control, or you're gonna finish too soon.
"Fuck me," you beg into his lips. "Please fuck me."
"If I fuck you I'm gon-"
"Fuck me," you reinforce your plea. "I don't care. Cum inside me. I don't give a fuck."
You really should. You know such a primitive human act is one that's gonna leave you feeling all sorts of fucked up - but you already feel that way, so what's the harm? Maybe it will help.
Jeongguk pauses. His chest heaves. Pulls away from you, hands stroking all over your body. God. He'll never get bored of this. Of you. Of how this feels.
The lights are off and the blinds are closed. Neither of you has inspected the room like you really should have done.
Small streaks of light sneak through the Venetians. They paint you in gold. You glitter. Of course you do.
Eventually, after what feels like a lifetime of him drinking you in, glossy brown eyes all star-drunk and cosmic, he nods. Whispers. "Gonna fuck you."
You nod, too. Watch as he takes off his boxees. Rid yourself of your bra and he strips you of your panties. No words are exchanged. Why would they be? You both know what you want.
He climbs back onto the bed. Presses a chaste kiss to your lips as one of his hands grips your cleavage. His fingers are tight. Possessive. Intolerant of the idea that you might not be his.
So fucking keen for you, the tip of his cock rubs up against your folds without his guidance. Has done this dance with you enough times now to know the right steps. Sink a little lower and he could push himself into you without any assistance. You're wet enough. Fucking soaked. Will be leaving evidence of your desire on the sheets. His cock is no better. Precum is smeared in his boxers and all over his slit. You're both pathetically needy right now.
Reaching your hand down to stroke his cock as his lips latch onto one of your nipples, you find yourself whining. There's nothing you don't love about the way Jeongguk fucks you. Doesn't forget a single part of your body - and how could he ever forget your tits? He's a changed man because of them.
He sucks harder as you encourage the head of his cock to press against your sopping-wet entrance. Just a little push is all it takes - and yet he doesn't relent just yet. Regretfully eases the suction his lips have around your nipple. Kisses you again. Husks, "Gonna cum so fucking fast."
You just nod. Kiss him again. Cradle his jaw. Nudge up against his nose. "Want you to cum. Fast is okay."
He swallows back a feeling of uncertainty. "Sure?"
"Please just fuck me, baby."
Oh, it's sin . Filth . Gluttonous, how badly he wants you; how insane hearing you call him 'baby' makes him.
He doesn't kiss you, but instead watches your face as he finally fucks his thick cock into you. Wants to see everything. How you gasp. How your brows furrow, eyes wide. How your cheeks blush. The way the heartbeat in your neck matches the heartbeat in your chest. How you whisper his name and desperately pull him back into your lips.
Jeongguk had a hundred and one things he wanted to do to you in these four walls, but with every stroke of his cock into your pussy, one of them melts away. Eventually, all that's left is his need for you to know every atom of his being wants to melt into you, too. Close will never be close enough. He has to fuck his cum into you because he has to fool his body into thinking maybe he could become at one with you.
"Shit," he husks, barely a few minutes into it. Hooks one of your legs over his elbow. Encourages it further. Gets it over his shoulder. Ruts himself ever deeper inside of you. "Oh, shit, baby."
"You good?" you check, to which he just nods. Pants. There's a sheen to his skin. Sweat. Like his very own glitter.
His hips stall a little. Brows furrow. He's trying to hold back - but you don't want him to, so sink your finger down to rub at your clit. Want him to see that it's okay. That he can cum. That you're just as close.
Because you are. All it takes is a little extra help from your hand - and then you're squeaking. Keep his gaze locked on yours. Letting the ripple of what it feels like to cum undone around him make itself known.
Jeongguk curses. "Keep doing it."
You do. Don't stop. Get yourself pulsing around him. Torso shuddering. Cunt desperately trying to milk his cum - and then all rather suddenly, Jeongguk whines.
"Yeah. That's it. That's it. Oh, fuck, baby. Fuck." His hips thrash against yours; his cock using your tight walls to reach his orgasm. You watch his pretty face as he comes undone; mouth open, whines stuttering from his throat. "I'm cumming. Fuck. Oh. Fuck. I'm cumming, baby."
His speech is a mess, and so is he. So are you.
Thick and creamy, his cums spurts into you with unrelenting force. The build of the last twenty-four hours means there's so much more than usual - and it's all yours. Every last drop.
The sound of your cum-filled cunt as he continues fucking himself into you is lewd. The kinda shit you could only imagine. He keeps going. Pushes his cum deeper and deeper into you. Has no desire to leave your walls. Keeps fucking into you until the overstimulation gets so unbearable he could fucking cry - and yet it's still so good.
He curses as he pulls out, body spent on top of yours. Is gasping for air as if he's just gone three rounds in a boxing ring. Buries his head into your neck as you wrap your arms around him.
"So good," you praise, 'cause you think he needs it. Think he deserves it. "Always make me feel so good."
He nods against your skin. Agrees. Presses a kiss to your neck, but can't bring himself to do anything else. Just needs to be still for a little while. Just needs you to stay with him, like this. Needs to know that the little piece of soul that he's just given up is safe with you.
A full five minutes pass before he rolls off you with a sigh and a deep-rooted desire to fuck you again. Harder, this time. For longer. Better. He's not ready, though. Not yet.
Not ready for anything. Hasn't processed any of his feelings. Just knows he doesn't even need to give you a verbalised response when you ask, "Shall we shower?"
He presses a kiss into your shoulder. Nods. Sits up, taking your hand in his. Leads you to the bathroom, which is surprisingly nice for a place like this. Has a tub. He dreads to think of what horrors it's seen.
Neither of you really speak much. There's a heaviness. An understanding that whatever just happened isn't what usually happens. Yes, it was sex, and yes it was still just you two, but something about it was just... different. The silence isn't uncomfortable. It's just noticeable.
Just like it's noticeable when Jeongguk gets hard again a little while later. Just like it's noticeable when you straddle his lap and sink down onto him. Just like it's noticeable when he directs your hips to grind instead of bounce. Just like it's noticeable when he kisses you through a climax. Just like it's noticeable when he cums inside you for the second time that afternoon.
It's not bad. It's just noticeable.
"We gonna talk about it?" You ask as the pair of you sit on the bed, a shitty cable movie on the motel television as you finally snack on the chicken you'd picked up earlier.
Jeongguk plays it cool. Keeps watching the TV, as he says, "about what?"
You're not sure if you should continue. Jeongguk is in his underwear. You're wearing his shirt, and that's it. You both know you aren't done with the sleazy motel room. Part of you worries that your question might lead to an argument. Post-sex conversations have a way of doing that with you two. Emotions are always heightened. Both of you always try and act like stars don't align whenever he's inside you. Think that by playing it cool, you're playing it safe.
Issue is, you care too much about Jeongguk to be playing things safe now. You need to play honestly. Openly. Without fear of losing.
"Well," you hesitate. Dust off your crumbs into the container. Don't look at him. Are scared his gaze will put you off. "What is this?"
The childish part of Jeongguk wants to answer 'fried chicken,' or something dumb like that. Thinks it would be funny. Know you would laugh. Instead, he nibbles on his bottom lip. Briefly glances over to you. The way you're avoiding his eyes makes him nervous.
"What do you mean?" He asks. Knows exactly what you mean. Still wants you to spell it out for him, just in case he's jumping to conclusions.
But he's not.
"Us," you say quietly. "This. What is this?"
It doesn't surprise you when the silence returns. Jeongguk doesn't want to misspeak. You know him well. Anticipated such a response. Don't push for more, because you know it will just take a little time.
Your friendship is well established. He's your best friend, and you are his. It had been agreed upon.
"It's just us," he eventually states. "We're best friends. Right?"
"Right," you nod. Feel a little deflated. Ask, "but, like... the fucking?"
Jeongguk thinks his lungs might collapse, just like your slightly misguided sense of hope. Is certain if the conversation continues, that he will simply die.
"Oh." He hums. "Right. Yeah. That."
You've done this before, his brain taunts him. Don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up. You know how this works. You'll lose her. Don't fuck it up.
"I'm not, like, in love with you, if that's what you're worried about," he laughs a little sheepishly. Is a terrible liar, but you're too much in your own head right now to realise.
"Oh. No. I didn't mean - I'm not accusing you of anything," you insist - and you really weren't. Was just searching for clarity. Kind of wish you hadn't now.
"No, I know," Jeongguk says back with a kind smile, not that you're looking at him. "I just didn't want you to get the wrong end of the stick, or anything like that."
"I haven't," you promise, finally looking over at him.
Neither of you really appear convinced. Not with yourselves, not with one another.
"And, I mean, you've got that guy," Jeongguk doubles down. Pretends to forget his name cause he just can't help himself. "We've been working on intimacy stuff literally so you could date again, right?" He waits for a response. You don't give him one. "So you're doing it. And that's great. And I'm happy for you... and, like-"
"Do you not think it will cause issues?" you blurt out, a little frustrated with how cool Jeongguk seems to be about it all. You don't realise it feels like his brain is on fire. He's masking it well. The only giveaway is the nervous sweat that's building beneath his arms - but you're hardly gonna notice that.
"Will it cause you issues?" he simply counters. Never wants to be the first to admit things. Has been burned too badly before.
You take a moment to think of a response, but realise nothing will do your feelings justice.
You think of your friendship with Jeongguk, and how he's somehow gone from a once-in-a-blue-moon bartender that would serve you magic in the form of a tiny purple shot to a permanent fixture in your life.
And it scares you, too. He was temporary once. Maybe one day he could become that again.
It doesn't feel like he will be.
Feels like you'll stoke one another's fires and keep your twin flames alive for years to come - but there's no promise that someone won't try and seek warmth from his burning embers. He's a good guy. Wouldn't wanna leave them to go cold. Would forget about you in the process, 'cause he's so used to having you there. Your flame could die out before he realises. Would spend forever trying to reignite it, but ashes just don't burn.
It's unlikely, but it's possible.
And so it seems silly depending on him as your only source of flame preservation. Perhaps you should see where things with Seojoon go.
"How... How does anyone know if they're making the right choices?" You ask a little sheepishly. Feel just as confused as you did at the start of the conversation. "How can they be sure?"
"They're not," Jeongguk simply says, reaching out to nudge your knee. Is as warm to the touch as he usually is, but kinda feels like he burns, now. "We take chances, and hope that they work out. That's all we can do."
"But love-"
"Isn't what we think it is," Jeongguk interrupts.
He's had so many ideas of love in his lifetime, yet refuses to believe any of them were real. Thinks he knows what it is, now. Finally truly understands the concept of setting the ones you love free.
He's trying to do that for you. Doesn't want to hold you back.
"It's not the wind blowing in some dude's hair, or roses appearing behind a pretty girl," he doubles down. "It's not that heart beating out of your chest shit that happens when you first see someone you like. Love isn't what's peddled to us in the movies. It's not."
"No? So what is it?"
"It's peace . It's not struggling to breathe, or panicking, or nervousness. It's none of that. Love... love feels like coming home. I know your ex fucked with your head a bit," Jeongguk says quietly. Looks at you. Feels right at home. "But love isn't supposed to hurt."
And yet as he speaks, Jeongguk's breaking his own fucking heart.
Better me than you.
Just doesn't realise he never had to.
All you ever needed was security. Safety. The rest would come with time.
But you're nervous, now. And you are a little hurt.
So whatever foolishness you were letting yourself indulge in with him is promptly abandoned. You're not about to wreck things. By his own admission, you can't possibly be feeling anything as heavy as love - and the friendship you have with him means more to you than, well, anything.
"We're okay, right?" You ask, a little desperate for things to feel normal.
Jeongguk smiles. Grabs the half-empty chicken box and tosses it down to the floor. Reaches for your hand, and drags you up to his lap. Messes with your hair. "We're fine, B."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Jeongguk's a terrible liar.
"Okay. Good."
And so are you.
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AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI
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shia-the-buff · 2 years
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don't let me down, guys
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xhanisai · 11 months
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I do kind of feel a bit spoilt with how the fandom pre-pandemic would share my work easily (fics getting hundreds and even thousands of notes on tumblr and on AO3 immediately and arts getting thousands of notes too). Back then, my work was so eUGH compared to the work I create now which is so much more polished and well thought out.
And now? It’s such a struggle for my art to reach even a hundred notes on this app alone and my fics take a long time to accumulate some attention on ao3. At first I thought it was because my creations have gotten WORSE lol but then I realised it’s been happening to all my friends too online.
Kinda sad tbh.
#delete later#i know that X amount of likes or notes on work doesn't necessarily mean that it's great quality#but i like seeing and knowing that people out there on the internet are enjoying what i put out#and i want more people to see what i can do if that makes sense?#my mentality is a little fucked right now because in the past i created mainly for me and i enjoyed what i did to an extent#but now i'm at that stupid stage where i hate everything i draw and get bored of my own writing and i don't like that#so validation online sort of helps with that mentality to go away#i can't keep up with internet art trends to get the attention on my work that i want that is not a realistic and healthy way of life#and i refuse to touch any salt or negativity in the ml fandom just to get the hivemind to find my work#my most popular work on ao3 is only popular because of lila karma and that makes me so mad because i write 100000x better than that LMAO#but people just wanna see a 14 yr old italian nightmare girl get expelled from school over and over again and i'm just tired af of it#as for art with twitter it's a bit of a russian roulette#you don't know what will be a banger and what won't unless you pay special attention or have a decent following or are always grinding#i don't think my art is for tumblr#i do appreciate the few people who always love and reblog it but i've always known from the start that my art isn't what would be popular#on this hellsite#oh well it is what it is#also don't worry i'm never gonna stop drawing nor am i ever gonna stop writing those two are literally my only outlets of my life#and the only way i can get emotions and feelings out of my body without exploding#and i am still madly in love with ML and will always be obsessed with it#i just miss how the prepandemic fandom would interact with my work and let me know what they thought and all the asks they sent about the#aus i created#it was a good period on this hellsite for me
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niennanir · 11 months
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Listen to your elders
So last week I posted abut the importance of downloading your fic. And then three days later AO3 went down for 24 hours. No one was more weirded out by this than I was. But while y’all were acting like the library at Alexandria was on fire I was reading my download fic and editing chapter eight of Buck, Rogers, and the 21st Century. And also thinking about what I could do to be helpful when the crisis was actually over.
So first off, I’m going to repeat that if you’re going to bookmark a fic, you really need to also download the fic and back it up in a safe place. I just do it automatically now and it’s a good habit to get into.
But let’s talk about some other scenarios. Last October I lost power for over a week after hurricane Ian. Apart from not having internet or A/C I did find plenty to do, I collect books so I had plenty to read, but maybe, unlike me, your favorite comfort reads aren’t sitting on a bookshelf. So let’s do something about that, shall we?
In olden times many long years ago around 1995 we printed off a lot of fic. It was mostly SOP to print a fic you planned to reread and stick it in a three ring binder. And that’s totally valid today too, but you can also make a very nice paperback with a minimum amount of skill and materials.
Let’s start with the download; Go to Ao3 and select your fic, we’ll be working with one of mine. This method works best with one shots, long fic tends to need a more complicated approach. Get yourself an HTML download
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Open up the HTML download and select all then copy paste into any word processor. Set the page to landscape and two columns, then change the font to something you find easy to read, this is your book, no judgement. This is all you have to do for layout but I like to play a little bit. I move all the meta, summary, notes to the end and pick out a fun font for the title: 
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No time like the present to do a quick proofread. Congratulations, you’ve just created your first typeset. On to the fun part.
Now you’re going to need some materials:  8.5x11in paper ruler one sheet of 12x12 medium card stock (60-80lb) scissors pencil pen or fine tip marker sheet of wax paper white glue two binder clips 2 heavy books or 1 brick butter knife
You’ll also need a printer, if you’re in the US there is almost a 100% chance your local library has a printer you can use if you don’t have your own. None of these materials are expensive and you can literally use cheap copy paper and Elmers glue.
Print your text block, one page per side. Fold the first page in half so that the blank side is inside and the printed side out:
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use the butter knife to crease the edge. Repeat on all the sheets. When you’ve finished, stack them up with the raw edge on the left and the folded edge on the right. I used standard copy paper, because you’re only printing on one side there’s no bleed to worry about. Take the text block and line everything up. Use the binder clips to hold the raw edge in place.
Wrap the text block in the wax paper so that the raw edge and binder clips are facing out. I’m going to use my home built book press but you don’t need one, a brick or a couple of books or anything else heavy will work fine.
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Once the text block is anchored down, take off he binder clips and get out the glue.
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You can use a brush but you don’t need one, smear some glue on that raw edge.
Go make a margarita, watch The Mandalorian, call your mother. Don’t come back for at least an hour
In an hour smear some more glue on there and shift your brick forward so that the whole book is covered. This keeps the paper from warping. While glue part 2 is drying we’ll do the cover. Get out your 12x12 cardstock
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Mark the cardstock off at 8.5 inches and cut it. Measure in 5.5 inches from the left and put in a score line with the butter knife (the back edge not the sharp edge)
Carefully fold the score line, this is your front cover. You have some options for the cover title, you can use a cutting machine like a cricut if you have one, you can print out a title on the computer and use carbon paper to transfer the text to the cardstock. I was in a mood so I just freehanded that beoch. Pencil first then in pen.
Take your text block out from under your brick. Line it up against the score mark and mark the second score on the other side of the spine
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Fold the score and glue the textblock into the cover at the spine. Once the glue dries up mark the back cover with the pencil and then trim the back cover to fit with your scissors.
Voila:
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I’m going to put this baby on the shelf next to the Silmarillion.
The whole process, not counting drying time, took less than an hour.
If you want to make a book of a longer fic, I recommend Renegade Publishing, they have a ton of resources for fan-binders. 
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cry baby
bucky barnes x fem reader
words: 7.3k
warnings: **18+ ONLY** smut, edging, overstimulation, crying during sex, mentions of flushed cheeks, friends to lovers, misunderstandings, lapslock.
a/n: this is arguably one of my absolute fave fics i've ever written. she is near and dear to my heart :') i've provided the link for ao3 if you prefer to read it there! it's originally posted in two parts but i've combined them here. any and all mistakes are mine. feedback is encouraged & appreciated ♡
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“the boys are running late,” natasha informs you when you make your way to the table she’s conquered in the busy cafe. “sam texted a couple minutes ago and said he and bucky got stuck in traffic.”
it’s the second tuesday of the month, which means it’s brunch day. it’s a running tradition that’s stood for the four of you since your college days. the time and place has changed over the years, but everyone does their absolute best to attend every time. these tuesdays are your favorite, naturally.
you plop into an empty chair across from her with a heavy sigh. “good, that means i have time to bitch about how fucking horny i am before they get here.”
she snorts, taking a delicate sip of her latte. “what’s new?” she wonders sarcastically.
“you don’t understand,” you begin, leaning into the table, gripping the edge tightly. “it’s been months, and not like, a few, i mean it’s coming up on a year.”
natasha’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “a year? what about that guy you went on a few dates with a while back? didn’t anything happen with him?”
“no,” you grumble, sitting back in your chair and crossing your arms. you huff. “and even if something had happened, i doubt it would have been satisfying. i can probably count on one hand the amount of times sex has been even kinda pleasurable for me.”
“sounds like you’re picking shitty partners.”
you scowl. “i know that, but it’s not my fault. all these stupid men keep promising they’re gonna fuck me ten ways to sunday and not a single one of them can even get me to wednesday.”
natasha laughs. “you poor thing.”
“you’re really not helping me here,” you whine with a pitiful pout on your lips. “you are getting routine dickings, you have sam! i am not so lucky here.” you notice her attention flicks to somewhere behind you, but you’re not finished with your rant. “nat, i’m serious. all of my sex encounters are the equivalent of asking someone to scratch my back and then they scratch literally anywhere but the spot that itches. i want to be fucked so good that i cry, just—completely reduced to tears. is that too much to ask?”
nat is hiding her smile behind her hand, amusement painted across her sharp features. someone clears their throat behind you and you pinch the bridge of your nose. sam and bucky occupy the empty seats, sam next to natasha and bucky next to you. they’re both sporting wide grins, looking far too pleased about stumbling into this conversation.
sam opens his mouth, no doubt to make a smartass comment, but you cut him off before he can get a good inhale in.
“not a fucking word,” you grouse with a finger pointed in his direction.
he presses a hand to his chest, expression offended. “i would never make a joke about your truly tragic excuse of a sex life.”
bucky snickers quietly, but turns into a cough at your glare.
“i’ll murder you,” you promise.
“leave her alone, boys,” natasha says, rolling her eyes, though she’s visibly biting back her own laughter.
you huff, digging your wallet out of your purse. “i hate all of you,” you announce before getting up and going to stand in line to order.
bucky follows a moment later, coming to stand at your side and throwing an arm around your shoulders.
“that bad, huh?” he asks.
you don’t have to look at his face to know he’s probably smirking right now.
“fuck off,” you retort, not bothering to push his arm away since you know he’d only put it right back.
“aw, come on, don’t be like that,” he jests, “you know we just like to poke a little fun.”
you roll your eyes, throwing him an exasperated look. “yeah, but that was something only nat was supposed to hear. i hate talking about sex with you and sam because you two wouldn’t understand.”
“that’s not true,” bucky insists, which makes you roll your eyes again. “it’s not!”
“first of all, sam’s got natasha, so we both know they’re more than satisfied.” bucky tilts his head in acquiescence. “and you don’t have to worry about if you’re gonna have an orgasm when you hook up with somebody. men have it so easy.”
it’s probably not the best thing to talk about in line of a busy cafe (especially since you haven’t decided between a blueberry muffin or the ham and cheese croissant, and there’s only one person ahead of you now and you’d really rather not be discussing your lack of sex in front of an innocent barista) but it sort of feels good to get this off your chest, even if it’s to bucky.
“okay, definitely not true,” he replies with a frown. “i’m not always guaranteed an orgasm.”
you give him a skeptical glance. “i find that hard to believe.”
this time, it’s bucky who rolls his eyes. “whatever, whether or not i come when i have sex with someone isn’t what i was gonna talk about when i came over here.”
the person in front of you finishes their order and then you’re stepping up for your turn.
“hi, what can i get you today?” the young barista asks with a smile.
“a large mocha iced coffee with sweet cream and a blueberry muffin, please.” you pause, contemplating, then add, “and a ham and cheese croissant.”
if you can’t get fucked within an inch of your life then food will become your lover, you reason.
“just a black coffee for me, please,” bucky tells the girl, taking his wallet out of his back pocket and handing over his card to pay before you can stop him.
“i could’ve paid for mine,” you mumble.
“you also could just say thank you,” he replies with a short laugh as he ushers you to the side to wait for your order.
you pinch his hip, pouting. “thank you.”
“why does your gratitude come with violence?” he asks, rubbing the sore spot.
“you know how i am when people do nice things for me.”
“you should be used to it by now,” he points out.
“well, i’m not,” you huff. “anyway, what did you come over here to talk about then?”
bucky reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, uncharacteristically shy all the sudden. “uh, well. i dunno, i just thought… you know, since you’re not—i mean, not that you couldn’t be, just—you haven’t been, so maybe… fuck.”
“spit it out,” you say with a giggle, wondering what in the world’s got him so tongue-tied.
“why don’t you let me?” he blurts, averting his gaze immediately after.
you tilt your head in confusion. “let you what?”
he sighs heavily, working his jaw in frustration. “you know…” he begins, digging his thumbnail into a knick on the countertop in front of you. “let me fuck you until you cry.”
“what?”
just then, your order is called. bucky quickly grabs it and turns to make his way back to the table, but you grab his arm to stop him.
“i don’t think so, you come back here right now and explain yourself,” you demand.
his eyes lift heavenward. “it’s just an idea, okay?”
“bucky, you’re talking about crossing a huge line. you can’t just throw that out all willy nilly!”
“i know,” he replies earnestly. “and it’s not—“ he grimaces at the phrasing, “willy nilly. you’re one of my best friends. i wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything, and i wouldn’t offer this if i thought that it could. this is something that’s obviously affecting you negatively in your life and i’m willing to help. i trust you, and i’m pretty sure you trust me, yeah?”
“of course i trust you,” you say, frowning.
he shrugs. “so, then it’s just… a friend helping another friend.”
“you make it sound so simple,” you muse in wonder.
“think about it?” he implores.
you swallow roughly, biting the inside of your cheek. “fine. i’ll think about it.”
he nods and walks back over to the table where sam and natasha are waiting. you hesitate for only a split second before following.
needless to say, you’re distracted for the rest of brunch.
***
you: what even makes you think you could fuck me until i cry anyway?
it’s been nearly a week, and as much as you hate to admit it, you’re actually considering taking bucky’s offer. it’s all you can think about since he brought it up. you can’t lie, you’ve always thought bucky was attractive, but ever since you were gently but firmly placed in the friend category back in university, you never allowed yourself to think of there ever being more between the two of you. he’s a wonderful friend to have and you’d have been an idiot to pass it up. bucky is kind and generous and just enough of an asshole to keep things interesting without it being a problem.
but this… this has left you reeling. why would he make such an offer after only ever keeping things strictly friendly and platonic in your relationship? and more importantly, where does he get the confidence to think he could follow through?
bucky: experience?
you make a face at your phone, furiously typing your reply.
you: ew. do you realize how douchey that sounds?
bucky: well, it’s not douchey if it’s true.
you: says you
bucky: and a few other people :)
bucky: you’d know it too if you’d let me fuck you
you exhale harshly through your nose, tapping your foot on the floor anxiously, carefully thinking of what you should say next.
you: it’s apparently a tall request, and thus far, nobody’s been able to deliver. you can understand my skepticism…
bucky: if i don’t leave you shivering and twitching with aftershocks of pleasure, in a mess of sweat and come, and tears stained on your cheeks, then i will have failed you.
your thighs squeeze together at the mental image that brings you. jesus christ, if he’s half as good at fucking as he is dirty talking then he just might do as he’s promising.
bucky: so? what do you say? wanna give it a try?
biting your lip, you give yourself a moment to weigh the pros and cons in your mind one last time.
it doesn’t take you very long to make your decision.
you: okay. we’ll try.
***
it’s a slightly overcast sunday when bucky comes over with the direct intention to fuck you. it should be weird, but strangely, all you feel is anticipation. maybe it’s because you know him so well and know that, no matter what, he’d take care of you.
(or, maybe it’s because those repressed college-aged feelings are doing their best to resurface, even though you steadfastly continue to ignore them.)
you’d taken a thorough shower earlier to ease the little bit of nerves you had when you’d woken up. cleaning up the small mess your apartment gathered over the last couple weeks helped, as well, and soon you found yourself standing in front of your lingerie drawer with your lips pursed.
you weren’t sure if you should even bother with it, but it felt you wouldn’t be putting in any effort into this encounter if you didn’t at least pick out nice underwear. so, with a pleased nod, you settle on some simple black lace panties and a matching bralette. not too much, but enough to satisfy yourself, and hopefully bucky. you pick out a simple sundress to put on over it, since you won’t be wearing much of anything once bucky gets here. that thought has you flushing, but you ignore it to put on some makeup, just to freshen up your face.
by the time he knocks on your door, you’ve already finished a glass of wine and are pouring yourself a second.
he smiles when open the door, a bit boyishly, greeting you with a quiet, “hi.”
“hi,” you return, just as soft. you open the door wider. “come in.”
he walks passed you, stopping to toe his shoes off and hang his jacket on one of the hooks.
“do you want a glass of wine?” you ask as you head to the kitchen to retrieve your own from the counter.
bucky follows, stopping in the entryway with his hands in his pockets. “no, thank you.”
you nod, taking a sip from your glass, trying to figure out what to say. the air feels a little awkward and you’re not sure how to fix it.
“nervous?” he wonders curiously.
you shake your head. “not really.”
he quirks a brow. “then what’s wrong?”
“i don’t know,” you murmur. “i guess i’m just worried we’re making a mistake.”
he hums. you take a larger sip of your wine.
with cautious steps, he comes closer to you. “what if i promise that things won’t be weird after?”
“you can’t really promise that, though.”
“sure i can,” he says, smiling. “it’s me and you. we’ve been friends for so long. plenty of people have sex and stay friends after.”
you’re not just ‘people’ to me, you think.
you sigh, frustrated with yourself. you can’t deny how badly you want this. it’s all you’ve been able to think about since that day in the cafe. but the thought of losing bucky is heartbreaking, and you don’t want your stupid horniness to be the reason that you ruin a friendship, even if he was the one to offer sex.
“why don’t we go make out on the couch for a little while first?” he suggests after a moment’s pause.
you snort, in spite of your thoughts. “like a couple of teenagers?”
his eyes crinkle on the sides when he grins. “yeah. we’ll just see how we feel about that, and if it leads to more, then…” he trails off, shrugging.
“that’s not a bad idea,” you concede.
“great! finish your wine.”
you laugh and do as you’re told, downing the little remaining wine in one go, sitting the glass down on the counter resolutely as you swallow.
“let’s do this,” you say, determined.
bucky huffs a laugh, grabbing your wrist and tugging you behind him as he makes his way to the couch. he settles slightly facing you as you tuck your legs under you beside him.
“do you wanna talk, or do you want to jump straight into it?”
“if we talk anymore i’m gonna change my mind. just kiss me already, bucky.”
“yes ma’am,” he sasses before doing exactly that.
he cups your cheek with one hand as the other is placed on your knee. he guides your face to his and kisses you chastely. you’re not sure where to put your hands at first, but you tell yourself to quit being a goober about it and place them on either side of his neck, your thumbs brushing under his jaw.
it’s an okay kiss, you have to admit, but it’s not really doing anything for you yet. he has soft lips, softer than you thought they’d be. you’re beginning to wonder if maybe this confirms you shouldn’t go any further when he tilts his head, and… hm.
he parts his lips, taking your bottom one between his, kissing it, then nipping it. you wouldn’t say the sound you make is a gasp, necessarily, but it’s close. his tongue lightly caresses the seam of your mouth and you don’t even think before you open up for him, letting his tongue sweep in, flicking against yours. you hum, scooting a tiny bit closer to him, chasing the feeling. his kisses turn insistent then, teeth biting at your bottom lip and tugging, soothing the ache with his tongue. he kisses you like a man quenching his thirst, like you’re the best goddamn thing he’s ever tasted, and it’s leaving you dizzy. you sway more into his space and he pulls away from your mouth.
“c’mere,” he whispers, gripping behind one of your knees to drag it over his hips so you’re straddling him. “much better.”
you don’t have a chance to process anything about the moment, his mouth back on yours in a blink. your fingers wind themselves into his hair, getting a good grip on it as you lick into his mouth. he lets out a soft noise at that and you try your damnedest to pry it out of him again, pressing your chest to his so there’s not even a sliver of space left between you.
his hands travel, down the sides of your torso to your thighs, back up to your hips where he holds on tight. it doesn’t take long after that before you find yourself grinding into him. you both moan at the same time, breaking the kiss to pant for breath.
you swallow roughly. “okay,” you murmur, “i think it’s safe to say this could work.”
bucky laughs quietly. “yeah? wanna move to your bed then?”
your squeeze your thighs around him, shifting minutely on his lap and feeling the beginnings of his erection beneath you. “yes,” you breathe.
quickly, you rise from your position and step back, allowing bucky to stand, then grab his hand and lead him to your bedroom. once you’re standing beside your bed, you turn to face him. he meets your halfway, pulling you into another, filthier kiss. you reach for his belt buckle, unfastening it and sliding it through the loops, tossing it to your floor. next are the button and zip of his jeans, shoved down his legs until he steps out of them and kicks them and his socks aside. he obediently lifts his arms when you slide your hands under his shirt and begin pushing it up, breaking the kiss to nearly yank it off, making bucky huff in amusement. once it’s tossed with the rest of his clothes, bucky grabs fistfuls of your dress and pulls you into him.
“my turn,” he says against your lips.
carefully, bucky helps you out of your dress, eyes raking over every bit of new skin shown to him. he bites his lip when he sees your lacy underthings.
“you got all dolled up for me?” he asks.
shifting under his stare, you nod. “wanted to look nice,” you admit.
he hums. “beautiful.”
he kisses you again, a little softer than before, but no less passionate. the urgency returns as he backs you up until your thighs hit the mattress. gently, he guides you onto your back, never breaking the kiss as he follows you down and settles over you.
you soon find yourself in need of air and pull away with a gasp. bucky is undeterred and instead presses his kisses down your jaw, to your neck where he decides to bite and suck until he’s left a mark you’ll have to reprimand him for later. he licks his way up to your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth, drawing a whine out of you.
“bucky,” you whisper, hands gripping his sides as you squirm below him.
“hm?”
you close your eyes tightly when he makes his way back down to your collarbones.
“please,” you whimper.
“please what, sweetheart?” he asks, pushing himself up to look you in the eye.
“t-touch me,” you beg, cheeks flushing.
his lips quirk into a smile. “i am touching you.”
“bucky,” you whine.
“where do you want me to touch you, hm?” he wonders. one of his hands trails across your shoulder and down the center of your chest. “here? or… here?”
when his fingers glide, barely there, over your pebbled nipples, you push into the touch eagerly.
“or…” he continues, his feather light touch making a path down your stomach. your breath quickens in anticipation. “here?” he murmurs as his fingertips stop on your pantyline.
“yes, there, anywhere,” you agree hastily, “just —please. please, bucky, don’t tease me.”
he kisses you again, deep, full of promise. “you beg so prettily for me.”
he rearranges your positions until he’s between your spread thighs, sweeping his hands across the inside of them. he nods to your panties.
“may i?”
“yes, please,” you reply, lifting your hips to help him take them off.
he doesn’t give you a chance to close your legs in shyness, firmly grasping your knees in each of his hands and spreading them once again. the way he’s looking at you makes you feel unbelievably desirable, has excitement crawling up your spine.
“don’t forget,” you remind him, making his eyes flick up to yours in question, “you better make me cry.”
a slow, dangerous smile graces his lips. your stomach swoops eagerly.
~
a whine, high pitched and drawn out, escapes your lips. after you unwittingly challenged him, bucky took it upon himself to torture you—with sex. so far, he’s only used his fingers on you, in you, thrusting them steadily but never enough to bring you to climax. he’s taking his time and being a smug prick about it. you go to complain, again, hoping if you beg enough he’ll let you come, but before you can do more than open your mouth he’s quickening his pace.
“oh!” you gasp, clutching the sheets in your hands.
bucky slides his hand down your thigh, bringing his thumb inward to swipe around where his other fingers are buried inside you to gather your wetness and using it to rub circles on your clit. your back arches, head thrown back against your pillows as you feel your orgasm build. it’s not tears, but damn, it feels good enough.
just as you start to clench around his fingers, legs spasming, he stops.
your eyes open in a hurry, brows furrowing in confusion. “no, please, don’t stop,” you plead.
bucky smiles. “i gotta get the right build up.”
you groan in frustration. he laughs quietly and lets the inferno burning within you simmer down to embers, then starts inching his way down until he’s lying on his stomach, mouth poised above your pussy. the feel of his warm breath makes you shiver, and with no warning whatsoever, he leans in and sucks your clit into his mouth.
“fuckin’—oh my— bucky!”
you’re pretty sure you black out for the next several minutes, the only thing you’re aware of is the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears and the feel of bucky’s mouth on you. you’re lost in a mindless haze of pleasure, unable to think or feel anything else. you feel your orgasm cresting for the second time, and just as before, bucky pulls away before you can succumb to it.
“why,” you hiccup on a moan, wanting nothing more than to just come already, but he’s not letting you.
he shushes you, softly kisses your knee. sitting up to take his underwear off, bucky keeps his eyes on you, expression hungry.
“gonna take care of you, sweetheart,” he promises. “just a bit more. you’re being so good for me, yeah?”
“please,” you whimper, feeling completely pathetic.
he makes quick work of putting a condom on and then settles between your thighs. you sigh in relief when he wastes no time and pushes in, being careful not to go too fast. once he’s fully inside you, he pauses, wanting to give you time to adjust, but you’re back to whining.
“bucky, please, please just—fuck me,” you beg, squirming beneath him.
he takes mercy on you, finally, and sets a hard pace. your hands fly up to push against the headboard, moaning and gasping from his harsh thrusts, loving the stretch of him inside you. his thumb is back on your clit and you cry out, clenching hard around him, but his thrusts don’t falter. all too soon, you can feel yourself getting close. you hear your own voice chanting please, please, please, mixed in with bucky’s grunts and the sound of him fucking you.
you whimper, eyes squeezed shut as your climax hits the point of no return, crashing over you in waves. you think you might scream, but it’s hard to pay attention to anything other than the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. part of you thinks this’ll be it, bucky will come now and then you’ll have had one of the best orgasms of your life and he’ll be on his merry way home. but no, that’s not what happens.
instead, bucky keeps thrusting relentlessly into you, dragging out your pleasure to the point of oversensitivity.
“s’too much,” you breathe, gasping for air.
bucky shakes his head, face contorted in concentration. “one more,” he tells you, voice gruff and deep.
unbelievably, you feel tears beginning to gather in the corners of your eyes. bucky’s still rubbing your clit, still keeping a steady rhythm of his hips, and fuck, he’s so beautiful. you watch him fucking you, wondering how the fuck you got to this moment, how you got lucky enough to bear witness to the sight of bucky fucking, let alone be the one he fucks. his body is ridiculous, looking like it’s carved from marble. you know how much strength it holds, as well, know that if he really wanted to, he could probably fuck you against a wall.
it’s with that thought, with the added bonus of the way bucky touches you, looks at you, like you’re something treasured and gorgeous, giving you such intense pleasure, that the tears threatening to spill over finally fall from your lashes.
bucky notices, because of course he does, and he thrusts into you just a little faster, a little harder, and your body seizes up and then you’re falling into another orgasm. it spreads through your veins, slow like honey, making sure this one settles deep into your bones. bucky groans as he, too, reaches climax, hips twitching into you in aftershocks until he stops moving altogether.
you both pant for breath, sweat gathered in every crevice on your bodies. you think you won’t be able to move for the rest of the weekend.
“need to pull out,” bucky says softly, breaking the moment.
you nod and he carefully pulls his hips back, grunting. you poorly suppress a whimper and close your legs, already hating the empty feeling.
“well,” he starts, plopping himself on his back next to you, “i think i deserve some kind of reward.”
when you turn to face him with an exasperated look, he’s got his arms crossed behind his head, a smug smile across his lips.
“how about i don’t kick you in the balls? how’s that for a reward?”
“i literally just did the impossible.”
“what, made me come twice? i can do that all on my own. you’re not special,” you retort with a huff.
he scoffs. “i fucked you so good you cried.”
“you can’t prove it,” you say to the ceiling.
“keep up this attitude and i won’t do it again,” he threatens, poking you in your side.
you wiggle away from the ticklish touch while trying to tamp down on the hope bubbling in your chest.
“oh, we’re doing this again, are we?” you say as casually as possible.
he rolls his eyes. “of course we are. now,” he sits up in your bed, stretching his arms as he stands and picks up his underwear, “i’m starving. wanna order takeout?”
well, you guess if you’d been worried about any kind of awkwardness before, you shouldn’t have. this is bucky, your best friend. he’d never let things change between you.
***
except, things kinda change between the two of you.
it’s not very noticeable at first, changes so subtle you miss them, until one day he showed up at your apartment and greeted you with a kiss. you stood frozen in your doorway as he rambled about how stressful his day had been as he kicked his shoes off. it was only when you heard him calling out from the kitchen that he was gonna eat your leftovers that you snapped out of it, yelling back that you’d kick his ass if he even touched your dumplings.
another day, he facetimes you and asks if you want to go to see that new movie you’ve been talking about.
“oh,” you’d said. “are nat and sam coming, too?”
he’d given you a funny look, replied, “no, i thought it would just be us two.”
“oh,” you said again. “okay.”
so you’d gone to the movies, let him buy you buttery popcorn and peanut m&m’s and a soda bigger than your head. he shared with you, despite your protests, and halfway through the film you felt his hand settle on your thigh. you blinked and stared at it for a beat, turning to him in question. he only smiled at you briefly before focusing back on the movie.
in between all of this, you continued calling him over for sex. honestly, how could you not? as much as you didn’t want to admit it to him, he was the best you’ve ever had. and if he’s so willing, why shouldn’t you take advantage while you can?
a week ago, though, you’d texted him and asked him to come over, replying to his question of what time and then started getting ready. you’d purchased a new piece of lingerie, a periwinkle babydoll nightie, that left very little to the imagination. it had a matching pair of panties and felt soft and luxurious on your skin. you’d taken extra time to do your hair and makeup, wanting to look like sex on legs, and you’re pretty sure you succeeded.
but when he got there and you answered the door in your sexy outfit, he didn’t see it right away. in one hand he held his phone, typing something on it, and in the other hand he held a grocery bag that you eyed curiously.
“i brought stuff to make spaghetti—“
when he did finally look up, his eyes widened and traveled the length of your body several times. you bit your lip, trying and failing to hold back your smile.
“how about we skip dinner?” you’d said, fisting his nice button-up shirt and dragging him inside your apartment. you grabbed the grocery bag from his hand and sat it on the floor, absently noting he was wearing his date jeans.
whoops, you’d thought, hope i didn’t pull him away from someone important.
you hadn’t let yourself dwell on it, standing up on your tippy toes and kissing him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. he’d returned the kiss, licking into your mouth, drawing your tongue out so he could suck on it and made you moan embarrassingly loud.
“wait,” he’d murmured, “we should eat first.”
“or, you could eat me,” you’d retorted with a giggle.
he groaned like it pained him to say no, gripped your hips hard and put a tiny bit of distance between you. the look in his eyes had made you want to find the nearest flat surface and bend over.
“why don’t you be a good girl for me, hm? let me cook dinner for us and after we eat i’ll fuck you however you want me to. okay, sweetheart?”
you whined, but ultimately agreed, knowing he’d make it worth it.
and then there’s tonight, where he came over unannounced, armed with groceries again and promising to cook you the best meal you’ve ever had. to say you were confused would be an understatement, but you also didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
it’s just… well, bucky’s not really acting like a friend with benefits. sure, you hung out alone with him all the time before, but he never once cooked you dinner, and he certainly never helped wash dishes after. you guess the hello kisses could be explained away as part of the new aspect of your relationship, but something about that didn’t sit quite right with you.
after a truly delicious dinner, you find yourself on the couch with bucky as he scrolls through netflix to find a movie to put on.
“what do you want to watch?” he asks.
“mm,” you mumble, shifting closer to start kissing his neck, “don’t care.”
as he narrows down his decision and finally picks one, you make your way up to his jaw, sucking a small mark into the skin there.
“baby,” he protests softly, “let’s just watch the movie, yeah?”
you pull back, confused. first at the pet name, then at his words. he’s never denied you before, which isn’t to say that he can’t, it’s just that he’s always seemed on board. and, you know, you thought that was kind of the whole point of this thing.
“okay,” you reply after a moment.
he gives you a smile and a sweet kiss, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his side to cuddle. you can’t help but frown, feeling like you’re missing something, but not knowing what it could be.
it doesn’t take long for drowsiness to creep up on you. before he showed up, you had planned on probably ordering out for dinner and going to bed early since you’d had a pretty rough day. in fact, you remember texting bucky about it just that afternoon. your eyelids get heavier and heavier, finding it harder to keep them open as the seconds pass. your head droops and in the next blink, you’ve fallen asleep.
you’re not sure how much time has passed when bucky wakes you, but you groan, pouting and burrowing into his shoulder more.
he huffs a laugh. “c’mon, sweetheart, let’s get you to bed.”
“don’ wanna move,” you mumble tiredly.
“i’ll carry you,” he offers. “up you go, baby.”
you half heartedly argue about being jostled, but let him carry you to your bed where he carefully places you, helping you out of your sweatpants and pulling your blankets up around you. you sigh in content, feeling yourself already drifting back into sleep. you hear bucky shuffling, but think nothing of it until the bed dips beside you, then feel his warm body slide in underneath the covers and press in close.
“goodnight, darlin’,” he murmurs.
you’d ask him what in the word he’s doing, but sleep is just far too enticing to ignore. you fall into slumber with bucky’s warmth along your back, his arm draped over you.
the next morning, you wake to the feeling of his fingers playing with the tiny bow on the front of your panties and his lips placing gentle kisses on your shoulder. you hum, eyes still closed, in the back of your mind thinking this is a nice way to wake up. at the sound of you, his touches get firmer, more insistent.
“good morning,” he rasps, breath tickling your ear.
you don’t really get a chance to reply. he dips his fingers into your panties, making you inhale sharply, moaning as you buck into his hand. he fingers you for a while, kissing along the column of your throat, biting and sucking marks into the skin there. when you’re begging him for more, he relents, eases your panties off and lifts your leg to slide in from behind. the angle is so nice it has you gasping.
you clutch the sheets weakly, burying your face in your pillow and muffle your whines and moans. bucky keeps a slow, lazy rhythm, acting as if he’s got all the time in the world to draw this out. it’s good, so good, and you can’t hold back your whimper when he kicks up the pace a little, tells you to touch yourself. you come seconds before he does, shuddering through it and humming happily.
as you both lie there and catch your breath, awareness trickles into your mind. you swallow roughly, staring blankly at the wall as you realize your feelings have grown far too much for this to be only casual anymore.
bucky kisses your shoulder again. “i’m gonna go make breakfast, okay? i’ll call you when it’s ready.”
“okay,” you whisper, blinking rapidly to keep tears from forming.
hearing bucky bustle around your kitchen makes your heart clench with want; want for something you can’t have.
***
bucky: dinner tonight?
you bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at the text. you know you need to cut things off with him before you get anymore hurt than you already are. it’s not fair to either of you if you continue with this arrangement when you’ve caught real feelings for him. you have to tell him, and soon. with that thought in mind, you type out a reply.
you: sure. what time?
bucky: reservations are at 8pm, i’ll pick you up by 7:45.
reservations? where was he taking you? you get another text before you can ask.
bucky: dress nice ;)
with a sigh, you text back an affirmative and try to start mentally preparing yourself for the conversation you dreaded having. you could only hope and pray that he agrees to still be your friend after.
by the time there’s a knock on your door that night, you’ve worked yourself up into an anxious mess. you open the door to see bucky standing there with a single peach colored rose and a bashful grin.
“hi,” he greets, leaning in to kiss you on your cheek. “this is for you.”
he hands you the rose and you feel your heart crack in your chest. you muster a small smile.
“thank you. let me go put this in a vase and we can head out.”
he nods and waits patiently at the door. as you fill a vase with a little water, you take a deep breath, giving yourself a mental pep talk.
this was going to suck.
the drive to the restaurant doesn’t take too long, and when you see where he’s taken you, your eyebrows shoot up. this is one of the nicer places in the city, definitely not on the affordable side. he helps you out of the car, leading you inside with his hand on the small of your back. you’re led to a small booth in a far corner with overhead lighting that feels too intimate. maybe you’d have to wait until you left to tell him…
conversation is light, a bit surface level, and you get the feeling that bucky is a little nervous. you wonder if maybe he’s gonna let you down gently first, hoping that he doesn’t, because you’d rather not cry in such a fancy restaurant.
after the waiter takes your drink orders, bucky sighs.
“okay, let me just… get this off my chest.”
oh fuck, here it goes.
“i know i’ve never really come across at the most romantic guy, especially since i’ve never felt the need to be.” he runs a nervous hand through his hair. “you’ve always been so important to me, and this last month has been so, so wonderful.”
“bucky…” you trail off, attempting to somehow stop him, but he powers through.
“i just—i never thought i’d find somebody, you know?” he says, earnest, gaze locked on yours. another crack in your heart. “especially not somebody who was my friend first, that i already had a solid foundation with. the attraction had always been there, but the friendship meant more to me, and finally allowing that to blossom into this amazing, new, fun relationship has got to be the best decision i’ve ever made.”
did he start dating someone and not tell you? oh god, has he been sleeping with someone else? at the same time? your stomach turns, eyes burning, hating yourself more and more as he speaks.
“so, i guess what i’m trying to say is,” he says, rolling his eyes at himself and smiling, “happy one month anniversary, sweetheart.”
you blink, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. “what?” you croak, beyond confused.
bucky, however, looks concerned. “baby, why are you crying?”
“i…” you blink some more, eyes flitting around the room as if you’ll get some kind of clarity that way to the situation currently happening. “what?” you repeat.
“did i come on too strong?” he asks, looking embarrassed now. “i wasn’t sure if you’d even want to celebrate, but i’ve just been so happy with you—i’m sorry, baby, i should’ve asked.”
“bucky, what are you talking about?” you finally manage, unable to keep the bewilderment out of your tone. “anniversary?”
bucky frowns. “i didn’t get the date wrong, did i?”
“no, i—this isn’t—i’m not talking about—ugh, i mean, when did we even start having an anniversary to celebrate?”
bucky’s face goes blank, sitting back in his chair. your heart is pounding wildly in your chest, so fucking confused, so fucking hopeful.
“we… we’re dating,” he says, slow, unsure. “aren’t we?”
“since when?” you ask probably too loudly, cheeks flushing.
he opens and closes his mouth a couple times. “when i asked you out?”
“bucky, oh my god, you’re gonna have to be more specific before i lose my goddamn mind. when did you ask me out?”
he huffs, his own cheeks flushing. “at the cafe! a month ago, at brunch with natasha and sam.”
your eyes widen in disbelief. “when you asked if you could fuck me until i cried?” you hiss, ignoring the scandalized look on the waiter’s face as he brings your drinks over.
smiling apologetically, you thank him and wait until he’s gone before sending a glare bucky’s way.
“that’s not how you ask a person out,” you seethe.
“i asked if you wanted to give this a try and you said yes!” he replies desperately. “i’ve taken you on dates!”
you pinch the bridge of your nose, thinking of all the times you thought he was being too romantic, more-than-friends type of behavior. you’re a fucking idiot, but god, so was he.
“at no point did you say anything even remotely close about us starting a relationship. i thought we were just fucking, bucky, i didn’t realize it was more than that!”
“you don’t—“ he starts, then stops, looking down at the plate in front of him. “you don’t want to be with me?”
“i didn’t know it was an option,” you say carefully.
“well, it is.” he meets your gaze, cautious. “i just spilled my guts to you. you know how i feel now. how do you feel? about me?”
you lick your lips. “bucky, i… i was planning to end things with you tonight.” his expression drops, even though he tries to mask it, so you’re quick to explain. “not because i don’t like you, but because i do like you and i thought you wouldn’t want anything more than just sex with me.”
“it’s never been and never could have been just sex with you,” he replies, quiet and relieved. he reaches across the table to take your hand in his. “i meant it when i said you’re the best decision i’ve ever made. i want this—the sex, the dinners, dates, all the gross and sappy shit i never wanted before… i want it all with you, if you’ll have me.”
you can’t fight the smile spreading across your lips. “of course i’ll have you, bucky.”
he smiles in return, a laugh bubbling out of him, which makes you giggle, until you’re both laughing so hard and loud that patrons from other tables are sending dirty looks your way, which only makes you laugh more.
“do you wanna get out of here?” you ask, laughter dying down. “there’s pizza and sex calling our names, i think.”
bucky moans dramatically. “i knew i liked you for a reason.”
he leaves money on the table and then the two of you quickly make your way through the restaurant, giggling and holding hands the whole way, even in the car.
6K notes · View notes
rottenaero · 1 year
Text
What if Steve got kicked out of his parent’s house after season 2?
He was already on thin ice after s1, with the beers and his fight with Jonathan, but after he got into ANOTHER fight with Billy they’re just kinda like, ‘pack your shit and leave’
And after a few weeks of living out of his car in the school parking lot, Eddie notices him after Hellfire and just kinda like, offers his house as a place to stay.
Of course Steve is like, ‘nah, ill be fine’ because he doesn’t want to freeload, but Eddie is absolutely not having it and convinces him that he wouldn’t be, and that he can pay him and do chores and shit if he really feels that bad about it.
Then Steve just starts living with him, of course there are rules, don’t invite people over, don’t talk about Eddie’s business, and don’t talk about the shit in his room.
The rest is the standard criteria, don’t bring animals in, don’t burn the house down, blah blah blah.
Course Wayne is a bit mad about this random guy with the last name Harrington at first, but the guy makes him coffee before he leaves for work, and is willing to put on a goddamn sailor costume to pay help pay the rent, so eventually they become acquaintances.
Eventually turning into the two watching sports on the tv and laughing at Eddies antics.
Thing is, during this whole thing, no one knows they live together. Dustin and the party don’t get much more than i moved out with a friend after the first time they ask to hang out at his house, and Hellfire just knows he has a roommate, not that its Steve, because all his shit is in the living room and hes always working when they’re over.
One day, mid-lunch, they decide to hang out at Eddie’s after school and he's all cool with it but is like ‘wait, my roommates off, let me go ask them if its okay’ and they're like ‘sure, okay, I wonder who it is?’
Then he waltzes straight up to Steve Harrington, who’s sitting by Nancy and Jonathan, and asks.
“Hellfires coming over afterschool, you good with that?”
“Yeah sure, do whatever, its your damn house, I can get out your hair if you want?”
“Nah nah, its all good, want you to meet ‘em anyway. Hey hey, wanna sit with us today?”
“Sure.”
Then Eddie heads back to the now silent Hellfire table (actually the whole cafeteria is a little silent) and sits down in his seat, Steve sitting in the empty one next to him.
Hellfire is absolutely confused, not just because Steve lives with him, but because of the very talked upon rumors about Eddie being gay, and how very true they were, and the fact that as a former-king, Steve should know that.
Steve however, seems very unconcerned with those rumors because for as close as Eddie keeps getting to him, even holding his bicep at some point, he acts very chill and relaxed, even leaning into him at some points.
Hellfire eventually calm down, and go to his house after school, and around 10 they decide to just stay the night. Eddie gives them a thumbs up, and turns to Steve.
“You’re bunking with me tonight.”
“Cool.”
Gareth starts panicking because there is a very obvious pride flag above one of his posters and he may not have seen it before and Eddie is so getting beaten up.
Except none of that happens. They wake up early that morning and Steve starts getting ready for work, and is about to leave when he turns to Eddie with a smirk.
“What, no goodbye kiss? Too dorky to do in-front of you friends?” And Eddie strolls right past the flabbergasted Hellfire and plants one on his temple.
“Goodbye o-great-king-of-assholery!”
Gareth quite literally chokes.
(What makes this even better? They’re not even dating, thats just Steve-being-Steve)
Part 2
Ao3
4K notes · View notes
gimmethatagustd · 3 months
Text
wanna stream a porno | kth
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At this point, attempting to deny that you have feelings for Taehyung is laughable. Even his subscribers can sense the chemistry between the two of you.
○ Pairing: Dom!Taehyung x Sub!Reader
○ Rating: Explicit/18+
○ Genre: Frenemies to lovers, sex work, fluff (?), smut
○ Word Count: 4,846
○ Warnings: Sex work (cam), MC uses they/them pronouns, Tae refers to MC as bunny and bun - aka rope bunny which is the term for the person being tied up in a shibari scene, bdsm, bondage, impact play, spanking, use of degrading language - that isn't actually meant to be mean, voyeurism, exhibition kink, Tae makes MC call him daddy so they won't dox him lmfao but it's not a kink - he's doing it as a joke to tease MC, blow job, vaginal fingering, sex toys, crying during sex, subspace/dropping, unprotected vaginal sex, forced orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, implied aftercare
○ Notes: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, BESTIES 🫦 I hope you enjoy the final installment of The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles! Photographer Tae will be missed 💔 I definitely did not proofread this, so abandon all hope, ye who enter! My brain is literally broken.
○ Post Date: February 14, 2024
○ Masterlist | AO3 Crosspost
○ What was Jai listening to? One Of The Girls (Sped Up) - The Weeknd, JENNIE, Lily-Rose Depp
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The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles (mini-series) Masterlist
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“Too tight?” Taehyung murmurs against the curve of your ear, his breath tickling your neck. 
It’s embarrassing how your body reacts to the sound of his low, velvety voice. You'd snorted when Taehyung first told you that people on the internet paid money to listen to his dirty talk and watch him jerk off. There was no fucking way; he had to be lying. You’d been sure of it. 
But now… 
Taehyung reaches around your body and tugs on the rope he’s just tied your wrists with. It looks rough, black, and twisted but smooth as it rubs against your skin when you move. 
You shiver and shake your head, forgetting what you’d discussed earlier in the day until it’s too late. The smack to your ass stings, and you bite your bottom lip to keep from making any sound. 
“What did I tell you, bun?” Taehyung asks softly, running his palm across the skin he just smacked. He squeezes your asscheek and jiggles it before removing his hand. 
“I have to use my words,” you speak up like he told you to, even though your voice is hoarse with desire and nervousness. Because, fuck, are you nervous. 
“Mhmm…” Taehyung hums in agreement, though he sounds distracted. 
You can’t see him from where you kneel on the floor in his bedroom, but you can feel it when he gets up. If you wanted to, you could twist around to face him. It would be difficult, though, with how much of your body is tied up. 
Taehyung spent at least twenty minutes carefully weaving intricate patterns against your naked skin, crossing the rope in what almost looks like a star formation across your back that wraps around to the front of your body, keeping your arms tied to your sides and your hands bound in front of you. The rope cages your chest like a harness and extends down to wrap around your legs, forcing you into a kneeling position and making you unable to straighten your legs. 
It took you three weeks of practicing before Taehyung could fully tie you up without you going into a panic attack. 
“It’s not too tight,” you announce after clearing your throat. 
You watch as Taehyung circles your body until he stands in front of you. He reaches out to flick his middle finger against the underside of your chin, prompting you to tilt your head back to look up at him. 
“My little rope bunny looks so pretty, all tied up for me,” Taehyung says with a sparkling grin that makes your whole body flush with heat. 
“I want to tell you off so badly right now,” you hiss through gritted teeth. Your frustration only makes Taehyung’s grin widen. 
“I bet you do. It’s a shame you can’t, but rules are rules.” Taehyung shrugs, not at all nonchalant in his mocking tone. 
You close your eyes as he trails his finger down your throat and past your collarbones until he reaches one of your nipples. Usually, it would take more than a gentle brush of a fingertip against your nipple for you to feel aroused, but there’s something about being tied up that has heightened your senses. Every minor touch has your nerves sparking and fraying at the ends. Taehyung isn’t even doing anything, and you’re already wet and aching. 
“Taehyung,” you do your best to sound steady and fail. 
“Let me fix the cameras and figure out what I’m gonna wear, okay? I’ll be quick; I promise.” 
Taehyung rearranged all the furniture in his bedroom to leave an open spot in the corner of the room where he set up cameras and photography lighting. His laptop rests on an end table nearby, the screen showing a mirrored image of you kneeling on the floor on a pale pink silk sheet, fluffy pillows surrounding you in a half-circle. It’s all very Y2K, softcore aesthetic – not what you’d expect from Taehyung. His followers are mostly young women, though, and he says he likes to play up his soft side for them. 
It sounds ridiculous, but there’s something about being tied up in such a gentle environment that’s making your pussy throb. 
Taehyung is quick, as he promised. He returns, shirtless and wearing a pair of black joggers to match the black rope wrapped around your body. You drag your eyes over his torso, admiring the flat plane of his abdomen and the swell of his pecs. Smooth – it’s the best word to describe Taehyung. His voice, body, and charisma when he murmurs sweet seductions in your ear are always so smooth. 
When he catches you staring, Taehyung winks at you. It makes you flustered despite your desire to remain neutral, and you quickly look down to find something else to focus your attention on. In Taehyung’s hands is a long, rectangular purple box. He sets it down next to you on the floor and opens the lid. 
You gasp when you see what’s inside. 
“Taehyung…” 
“It’s for later. Don’t worry about it,” Taehyung says softly, pressing his index finger against your parted lips to quiet you. 
On instinct, you close your lips around Taehyung’s finger and suck it gently, swirling your tongue around it. Taehyung’s eyes flutter closed for a few seconds until he pulls his hand away. 
“You’re such a slut.”
“Fuck you.” 
You can’t help but grin when Taehyung sticks his tongue out at you. He’s an idiot, but you love it. You love him, maybe. To be determined. 
Or never. Never is also fine. 
“So… what the fuck is gonna happen now? I’m starting to cramp,” you complain as Taehyung messes around with his laptop. 
“What?” Taehyung spins around quickly, nearly sending one of his floor lamps crashing when his elbow collides with the stand. “You’re in pain? Where? Let me loosen–” 
“Oh my god, Taehyung, I’m fine. I just don’t feel like kneeling naked on the fucking floor while you dick around!” 
With a snort, Taehyung turns his back on you. 
“I’m just trying to take care of my little movie star, alright?” 
The nickname, if that’s what you can even call it, makes your stomach flutter. It doesn’t matter that you’re trying your best to stay unaffected by Taehyung’s bullshit; Taehyung has you under his spell like he always does. 
“I know what to say…” you insist with a pout, flexing your fingers. “Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for good…” 
It’s elementary, but all the prep Taehyung made you do leading up to this moment showed you how important having a system is, be it a random safe word or the colors. What you don’t want to tell Taehyung is how comforting the rope is. You don’t want him to have the satisfaction of knowing that you like being restrained. It’s like a tight embrace, and the rope causes goosebumps to spread across your body when its silkiness rubs against your skin every time you shift positions. 
Watching you over his shoulder, Taehyung calls you softly, “I’m going to start the session if that’s okay?”
You nod, adrenaline buzzing through your veins as you hear the little pings from Taehyung’s laptop, indicating that people are paying to join the livestream. It’s still shocking that Taehyung has such a large following. However, it makes sense now that he has been so interested in erotic photography and film for his projects as a university student studying art. Funny how your roommate, Hoseok, never bothered to tell you that his friend does amateur porn – though Taehyung was quick to make it clear that he has never had anyone else on his stream before you. 
You’re special.
You wonder who might be sitting on the other end, paying to watch Taehyung pleasure himself every Wednesday night. 
“It’s hump day,” Taehyung had said with an exasperated sigh when you’d asked why he chose Wednesdays, as if you were the stupidest person on the planet for asking such a question.
The worst part is wondering if someone watching Taehyung’s stream will recognize you. Taehyung doesn’t shy away from showing his face, but he’d offered you a mask or only to use camera angles that wouldn’t expose your identity. You’d turned down both offers, though you can’t remember why. You can’t remember much of anything, your mind going blank the moment Taehyung addresses the anonymous subscribers waiting for porn. 
“Hey everyone, it’s nice to see you all again this week,” Taehyung greets his followers with a deeper and richer voice than you’ve ever heard him use. It makes your body tingle. “For those of you following me on my socials or who joined last week, you’ll know I promised to do something special for Valentine’s Day, right?” 
You can’t see the laptop screen; Taehyung is standing in front of it. He’s also blocking the camera, so the people logged into the session can’t see you yet. 
“I have a special guest,” Taehyung shifts to the side so you’re in view, “This is Bunny, and it’s their first time on camera like this, so please be kind.” 
Unsure of what to do, you wave your fingers in a greeting, unable to do much else since you’re all tied up. It must be enough because Taehyung smiles when he looks at you, and you feel your face heat up from the gentle gesture. 
Luckily, Taehyung’s attention quickly returns to the livestream chat. Apparently, Jimin is hanging out in his bedroom, moderating the chat to ensure no one posts anything inappropriate. Knowing Jimin will be watching excites you a little bit. 
“Ah, no, we’re not dating,” Taehyung chuckles, and it’s strange to be able to say that you know Taehyung well enough to know that this laughter isn’t genuine. “Don’t get any ideas, though. Trust me. Our little bun might look harmless, but it’s a ruse.”
You can’t help but snort. You’d think Taehyung is stalling, but you’ve learned that his subscribers expect a sort of parasocial relationship with him. He usually warms up by feeding into that. As weirdly cute as it is, your nerves are making you impatient. 
“Even though it’s my bun’s first time, I don’t think we need to take it easy on them,” Taehyung smirks into the camera, and more pings ring through the bedroom. 
Each ping indicates that the livestream viewers are leaving messages in the chat and sending Taehyung money to request specific actions – actions he refuses to tell you about because that would ruin all the fun. 
“Hmm…” Taehyung murmurs, eyes dragging from the streaming platform’s chat feature to you, wrapped up like a pretty present for him. The look is weighty and dark, which Taehyung has never had while looking at you. 
Suddenly embarrassed, you drop your gaze as Taehyung approaches where you kneel. 
“Are you ready, bun?” Taehyung’s question is softer than the look he gives you. 
You nod in return and hope your nerves aren’t visible to Taehyung’s loyal fans. It would suck to fuck this up for him, as much as he annoys you. Admittedly, ever since that impromptu threesome with Jimin, Taehyung has been acting different around you. He’s been almost… sweet. 
Taehyung takes out a black, wide-end riding crop from the purple box. He hits the palm of his hand with it a few times as though testing it out. He looks good, the muscles in his biceps shifting and bulging every time he winds up to flick the crop. Your entire body shudders when his dark eyes flit down to meet yours. 
“How many times do I have to tell you to speak up, hm?” 
Taehyung falls into character quicker than you expect. It gives you whiplash watching him push back his hair, now a light minty color that looks pretty against the pink surrounding you, his gaze an oppressive force crushing you harder than the rope ever could. Your attention briefly falls on the laptop when a few pings ring out. 
What if people don’t like you? What if you don’t do well? You’d agreed to do this because Taehyung wanted to expand his portfolio, just like every other time you agreed to spend time with him. You both know that isn’t why you’re here, even if neither of you want to say it out loud. 
“Bun.” Using the flat end of the crop, Taehyung lifts your chin to look at him instead of the laptop. “Don’t think about them. Just focus on me, okay?” 
“Okay,” you breathe, suddenly feeling lightheaded. 
Taehyung drags the crop down your chest, tapping lightly at your tits to watch them bounce against the black rope. Goosebumps rush across your skin like waves in the wake of the crop’s path down your body. 
“How many should I give you?” 
You blink a few times, eyes suddenly bleary as you watch Taehyung walk around to stand behind you. The camera captures your side profile, allowing viewers to see you and Taehyung clearly. Despite Taehyung’s reassuring words, it’s hard not to think about the anonymous people watching Taehyung caress your body. 
“How many what?” Your breath hitches when Taehyung’s hand replaces the crop to run up the length of your spine until he reaches the back of your neck. 
“For your punishment, bun. How many hits do you deserve?” Taehyung asks, his voice with a deep timbre. “Lean forward.” 
Taehyung squeezes the back of your neck and pushes, forcing your upper body down a bit further while you stay kneeling. Lifting the crop, he smacks your ass three times in quick succession, each hit a sharp sting that makes your body jolt. 
“Oh, fuck,” you gasp as you struggle to keep your balance. “Is that really necessary?” 
Taehyung clicks his tongue, and even though you can’t see him, you’re sure he has an infuriatingly smug look on his face. 
“Count them,” he murmurs loud enough for the stream to pick up. 
It’s strange how pliant you become with each hit. Something about the pain zaps something in your brain, sending your nervous system haywire until the stings turn into pleasure. Taehyung focuses each hit on the same spot until your skin becomes tender, but he doesn’t stop until your entire body shakes. 
“T-twenty,” you count with a shudder, tears lining your eyelashes and fingers squeezing the ropes on your chest to give you something to hold onto, though it does nothing to ground. 
“Very good.” It’s a simple statement, but Taehyung’s praise does something to you. Either that or it’s the feeling of the crop being dragged over your sore asscheek to dip inward. 
You gasp when Taehyung pushes the crop through your pussy, spreading your lips open and running the crop along your folds. You’re soaking wet and on edge from him spanking you, so the glide is easy for Taehyung as he begins rubbing your clit. The crop is warm from your body heat, and though the shape is sharp and angular, any amount of stimulation feels good. 
“Please,” you beg, bending forward further to expose more of your pussy. 
The ropes around your legs keep your thighs spread, putting you on display for easy access. Even though you can’t see it, you’re sure your arousal glistens in the bright lighting, and you can feel your juices leak down your folds. 
Taehyung runs his thumb through your pussy lips, swishing your arousal around, dragging up and down your clit before he eventually sinks his index and middle fingers into your pussy. 
His name almost slips out when your thighs begin to shake. You want to call out his name and beg him to fuck you, even though everything in you doesn’t want to give him that satisfaction. It’s just too good, and you haven’t fucked since that time with Jimin. Taehyung said it would be better that way to help with your nerves, but now you’re feeling desperate, and you hate the feeling of needing to be filled. 
“Fuck, look at you. You like being tied up like this, don’t you?” Taehyung smirks when he tosses the crop to the side and uses his other hand to stimulate your clit while he continues fucking you with his fingers. 
You moan loudly, completely forgetting about the people watching Taehyung getting on his knees to finger you, twisting each time he pulls out, just to plunge back in and press downward to stimulate your front wall. 
Remembering the rules, you swallow your pride and do what Taehyung wants. 
“Yes, daddy.” 
It’s humiliating to call Taehyung that. You hate it, but you can’t say his real name on air, and this was what he’d told you to call him – or else you’d be punished. He won’t let you cum if you don’t behave. Though you can’t deny how good Taehyung sounds when he groans at the name, nor how good it feels when he speeds up his fingers. 
“Say it again,” Taehyung murmurs, leaning forward to press his bare chest to your back so he can reach your ear. “Baby, say it again.” 
“Yes, daddy.” 
“Fuck.” 
Grabbing your hips, Taehyung yanks you back so he can switch places with you, now kneeling in front of you. Being on this side gives him a better view of the livestream chat. Whatever he finds there makes him smile, something lopsided and suspicious. 
“They do have a pretty pussy, don’t they?” Taehyung grins into the camera, reaching forward to cup your pussy. He crowds your space, forcing your face against his crotch when he leans in. 
Despite how embarrassing the action is, you mouth at the bulge in his joggers.
“Hurry up,” you whine, knowing Taehyung might scold you but uncaring. “Fuck me already.” 
A slap to your tender ass makes you cry out in pain. 
“Our friends think I need to do something about your bratty mouth, bun,” Taehyung points out with his arms crossed against his firm chest. “They’re right, of course. You’ve always been so bratty with me.” 
“Fuck you,” you hiss quietly, both hoping no one hears you and also that they will.
“You’re cute when you’re acting like a slutty little bitch.” 
Taehyung tongues the inside of his cheek and turns to the box that had held the riding crop. The insults scratch some itch in the back of your brain, and your pussy betrays you by pulsing with need. 
From the box, Taehyung pulls out a pink cordless wand vibrator. The head is smooth and fat, the rest of the wand sleek like Taehyung’s fingers as they grip around the handle. Anticipation burns in the pit of your stomach while you wait for Taehyung to turn the wand on and press it against your swollen, neglected clit. 
Instead, once the wand is on, Taehyung presses against the bulge in his joggers.
“Oh my god,” you moan as Taehyung drags the wand up his cock until he reaches the head. He circles it slowly, hips subtly thrust forward. 
It makes sense that people pay to watch Taehyung masturbate. He’s pretty when he does it, staring directly into your eyes as he whimpers, breathy and sweet.
Each of his little moans makes you wetter, and your body continues to tremble with need. It’s so unbelievably hot how he tilts his head back, exposing the V of his jaw and his Adam’s apple, bobbing each time he swallows. 
“Do you think I’m pretty, bun?” Taehyung smirks, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he finally removes the wand from his clothed cock. It’s hard to see the wet patch in his clothes from how dark the material is, but you know it’s there. 
“Yes, daddy,” you whisper as Taehyung grabs a hold of your jaw and gives you a quick but firm squeeze that pushes your cheeks inward.  
“I know you do.” 
Letting go of your face, Taehyung hooks his thumbs in his joggers and pulls down far enough to take out his cock. It bobs and hangs heavy in front of your face, close enough that the tip brushes your cheek and smears precum across your face. 
“Be a good bun and suck my cock, yeah?” 
Not needing to be told twice, you lean forward to lap at the precum dribbling from Taehyung’s slit, making him groan. His body trembles slightly as you suck him into your mouth, and it feels good to know you’re not the only one affected.
Reaching for the wand again, Taehyung runs the tip along his shaft as you suckle the head of his cock. You can feel the vibrations in your mouth, and the sensation seems to travel down the rest of your body as your pussy pulses. 
“Fuck,” Taehyung moans, throwing his head back as you take more of his cock down your throat. “Don’t go any faster. Keep it nice and slow.” 
He only lets you suck him off for a bit longer, just enough to get his cock nice and wet from gagging around him. Then he tugs on your ropes, pulling you off of his cock as you gasp for air. 
“You okay?” Taehyung brushes his thumb against your bottom lip, wiping away spit and precum, you’re sure. It’s disgusting, but he’s so gentle when he does it that your face grows hot.
“I’m fine.” 
“You look pretty like this,” he murmurs. “I can’t wait to fuck you, baby. Been thinking about it for weeks.” 
It isn’t until Taehyung cradles the side of your face and slots his lips with yours that you realize you haven’t even kissed. You usually don’t, too caught up in the carnal need to consume each other in other ways.
But kissing Taehyung feels good.
He holds you gently as your lips glide together, Taehyung tasting himself on your tongue and moaning into your mouth when he does. You pant against each other in between kisses, Taehyung using the opportunity to bite and suck on your bottom lip until you’re pushing yourself against him, seeking more. You just want to be close, closer. 
“Turn around,” he breathes against your spit-slicked lips. It isn’t easy, but he helps you move until you’re facing away from him. 
Without being told, you begin to lower your upper body onto the floor, but Taehyung stops you with an arm around your chest. 
“Wait.” It’s spoken against your ear, his breath hot like your core as it pulses when you realize what Taehyung is doing. 
He turns on the wand to the lowest vibration setting and carefully slips it through the rope wrapped around your hips. Placement presses the head of the wand directly to your clit. 
“I can’t,” you squeak, hunching over as the subtle vibrations ripple through you. Normally, the setting would be too low to get you off quickly, but Taehyung has been edging you this whole time. 
“It’s okay if you cum, baby. I wanna see how many times I can make you cum.” 
Taehyung bites the curve of your ear before shoving the middle of your back until your upper body rests on the floor and your ass is in the air. He’s gentle when he presses his cock against your entrance, the glide easy from how sloppy wet you are. You can hear him bottom out, the sound of your arousal gushing around his cock with each wet slap of his thighs against yours as he thrusts in and out of you. 
It only takes three deep strokes before you cum, pussy fluttering around Taehyung’s cock and your body shaking underneath him. The ropes prevent you from wriggling and writhing, and the vibrator on your clit prolongs your orgasm. You feel like it never ends, just wave after wave of pleasure, making your body lock up. 
“Oh fuck, fuck, Tae-” You’re cut off by Taehyung’s hand slapped across your mouth. 
“Behave, bun,” he growls, never letting up his pace despite how violently your body reacts to the prolonged orgasm. 
Grabbing the rope tied around your back, Taehyung pulls on it, forcing you to rock back and forth on his cock at the pace he wants. You’re so wet that he slips in and out of you with wet squelches loud enough to be heard by all his subscribers. 
“Oh my god,” you moan as your body rocks against the pretty sheets and fluffy pink pillows. It helps stop you from chafing against the floor, but you don’t care. All you can focus on is how good Taehyung feels, his cock filling you up and his hands tightening the hold the ropes have on the most sensitive parts of your body. 
“God, you’re always so fucking creamy,” Taehyung groans, slapping your ass to watch it jiggle on his cock. 
You feel another orgasm ripple through you, having barely recovered from the other one. Taehyung fucks you through it still and then fucks you through the next one. 
By the time you’ve cum for the fourth time, tears stream down your face. 
“Please,” you sob, the buzz of the vibrator and Taehyung’s moans flooding your brain until there’s nothing left. 
“One more, bun,” Taehyung grunts as he reaches over to pull the wand out of the ropes. He tosses it to the side and replaces it with his fingers, rubbing quick circles over your clit. “Come on, give me one more so we can finish together.” 
The remaining pressure inside of you bursts the moment Taehyung starts playing with your clit. You feel your pussy gush around his cock as you cum even more than before, so much that you can feel it leak down your thighs and soak the bed sheet below you. 
A flurry of pings reminds you that you’re on camera. You can barely think straight long enough to understand what that means when Taehyung lets out a broken moan behind you. 
“Oh fuck, you just squirted, fuck baby, why are you so hot.” Taehyung’s grip on your hips hurts when he finally cums, still thrusting even when you’ve both been pushed beyond overstimulation. 
When he finally pulls out, you sag to the floor. Your entire body aches from being tied up and pounded into, not to mention how sore your ass and clit are from the constant stimulation. 
“You’re trying to kill me,” you accuse weakly as Taehyung takes a deep breath, head thrown back, chest sweaty. He’s still wearing his joggers, and his soft cock hangs over the waistband, shiny with cum. 
“Fuck,” Taehyung groans, running a hand over his face, “Alright, that’s, that’s all for today.” He crawls over to the laptop and gives the camera a salute. “See you all next week, assuming I’ve recovered.” 
The final pings ring out from the laptop before Taehyung snaps it shut and falls back on his butt. He finally tucks his cock back in his pants and turns to where you lie, weak on the floor. 
“Shit, let me get you out of this.” 
You’re in a haze, something floaty and free, like a cloud, and Taehyung caresses your wispy body as he unwraps you. Your head lulls to the side, and you let Taehyung lift your limbs and shift your body until he’s finished with all the ropes. 
“How are you feeling?” Taehyung asks, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead. 
Content. Satiated. Happy. In love.
“Tired,” you mumble as you stare up at Taehyung. His eyes are bright, and his cheeks are a soft pink, youthful, and pretty. 
“We can take a bath and then go to bed. You’ll stay over?” His voice is a hopeful lilt when he asks, and your stomach flutters. 
“Yes, daddy.” 
Taehyung’s mouth morphs into that lopsided grin you pretend to hate so much. 
“I love it when you call me that.” 
“I hate you,” you spit out, but Taehyung kisses you before you can pout more.
It’s a slow kiss, far too gentle for what you’ve all just finished doing. Taehyung sighs into the kiss, tilting his head to deepen it, though his lips glide languidly rather than rushed with need like they had before. 
You slip your arms around his broad shoulders and appreciate the stretch of being free from your restraints. 
“You did so well, seriously. I’m really proud of you. You were so sexy and, fuck. I’m…” Taehyung trails off as he helps you stand up, keeping you cradled against his body when you start to sway. “Thank you for doing this with me.” 
You nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck and find no bratty comeback, only a flood of happiness that nearly chokes you. 
“Maybe we can do it again if you wanna,” you offer with your lips against his neck. His skin is salty with sweat, but you flick your tongue against him anyway, just to make him squirm. 
Taehyung pulls back slightly to stare at you. “For real?” 
“If you keep asking, I might change my mind!” 
You try to wiggle out of Taehyung’s arms, but he keeps you close. It’s fine; you don’t really want to be anywhere else but here, pressed against Taehyung’s broad frame, blanketed by his gentle attention.
Even if he is annoying. 
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Disclaimer: All my writing is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. None of these characters are meant to actually represent the real people mentioned in the stories. 
All rights reserved © @gimmethatagustd​ - Do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my writing. Do not use my writing for any AI purposes whatsoever. Do not use my fics for anything aside from reading and commenting on them. My fics will only be posted on this Tumblr and on AO3 (gimmethatagustd & daddytaehyungie). Request an AO3 account here.
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gloomwitchwrites · 20 days
Note
hi!!! i literally started reading your blog and FR YOU HAVE TALENT. Got me giggling and kicking my feet cus of that girl dad!tf141 fics.
I was reading one of the links you put in for prompt ideas and I read that one six words sentence from link five: "I can't risk losing you again." hello?? potential angst to fluff?? I couldn't get it off my head and i was wondering if you could write something from it :>
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Thank you so much! That's so sweet of you! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading the Just Like Dad stories. I had a lot of fun writing them.
"I can't risk losing you again" is such an open-ended prompt. There is a lot you can do with that. I hope my humble offering is enough. I certainly went more angst than fluff on this one, but I really do love sad things with twinges of hope thrown in.
Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): canon-typical swearing, mild blood, non-graphic mentions of violence, angst, fluff, pregnancy, mentions of pregnancy complications
Simon "Ghost" Riley: An enemy of Simon's harms you, forcing Simon to make a tough decision. (wc: 315) Kyle "Gaz" Garrick: Kyle decides there is only one way to keep you close. (wc: 323) John Price: Price worries after you tell him you're pregnant when the first pregnancy had complications. (wc: 329) John "Soap" MacTavish: Johnny learns that falling in love with a teammate can only lead to sorrow. (wc: 542)
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if series masterlist
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Simon "Ghost" Riley
Busted door. Shattered glass. Overturned table.
The lights aren’t working and rain enters through the open patio door. You are safe and whole and far from this. But is it enough? Will Simon be able to keep you safe?
What was once doubt is now cold truth.
It’s not your trashed home but the state Simon found you in. It was your heavy-lidded eyes and bruised face. It was the pools of red that Simon didn’t know belonged to you, the dead man facedown in the carpet, or both. It was your smile of relief when you realized it was Simon drawing you into his arms.
Simon knows the man who did this—no. He knows who fucking ordered it.
And when he finds Makarov, he’ll show that fucker just how trigger-hungry he can be. The lead will burst and fuse to his lungs, and Simon will bathe in the aftermath.
All that’s left is your safety. If Simon knew that his career would lead to this, he would have taken steps to protect you years ago. You are always his one bright spot, that candle in the dark that is his life.
With you, he became more than his trauma. More than his guilt. More than his past. With you, he found peace. He found happiness. You are the sugary candy that sticks in the teeth but is too addictive to give up.
Departing is agony. The return is his reward and his longing.
You are everything.
And that is why he let you go.
Why he said, “I can’t risk losing you again.”
He put his head in your lap, his fingers digging into the sides of your thighs and failed to push down the tears.
Laswell will take you far away. She will keep you somewhere safe.
Makarov won’t find you.
And maybe—perhaps in the future—Simon can return to you.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Kyle is a nervous wreck.
The tiny box sits heavy in his pocket, burning an invisible hole. His plan is not the most romantic, but the two of you aren’t the type to go big. It’s all subtle, and Kyle only wants this moment to include the two of you.
This is his last chance.
Kyle’s final opportunity.
In this relationship, Kyle has kept you second. Not on purpose but out of habit. Work is his lifeblood. It drives him, and every successful mission is a point of pride. But in keeping up with that, Kyle left you behind.
His absences lengthened, and over time, he noticed you were pulling away, closing off. But that isn’t your fault. Kyle created the perfect brew for you to drink. These are the consequences of his actions, and he needs to make it right.
There was a time when Kyle nearly did lose you. When he came home and thought you had packed up and left without saying a word. That broke him. Made him realize just how distant he’d become.
Change is difficult.
But Kyle did it. Slowly.
Your smile returned, and when he comes home, your greetings are full of passion.
I can’t risk losing you again.
Kyle takes a deep breath as the deadbolt on the front door disengages. There is a slight tremble in his hands. Kyle is never nervous. Never. But fuck—taking this next step is driving him up the goddamn wall.
He pushes off from the couch, turning just as the front door swings open.
You step inside, face turned away as you go to shut the door. When you finally glance into the room, all the nervousness inside Kyle’s chest evaporates.
Your smile is so sweet, and you don’t hesitate. Dropping your bag, you rush toward him, and Kyle cannot help but meet you halfway.
He’s making the right choice in asking you to stay with him forever.
John Price
“You’re not happy.”
John is happy. He is. But old worries bubble up, seeping into the joy. It’s tainting everything, and that is clear by how your smile starts to fade.
“I am happy,” he says, but his mouth is a hard line. John knows he’s frowning.
You shake your head, one hand resting over your stomach. “Don’t lie, John.”
This is supposed to be a happy moment. He should sweep you up in his arms. He should kiss you until you’re begging for air. But all John can think about are all the doctor appointments he attended with you, and the grimness of what might not happen.
From that came a daughter. John loves her. Adores her. But bringing her into the world nearly killed you. He grappled with that stress while being as present as possible with you. Growing your family has always been a dream, and John doesn’t fault you for a second. There is no family without you.
John grasps the sides of your face and moves into your space. Your own hands close over his, keeping him from retreat.
“I am happy,” he reiterates. “But we both know what it took to bring our daughter into the world.” John shakes his head absently and breathes deep. “Don’t do this for me.”
“John—”
“I can’t risk losing you again.”
This time, your smile returns. There is a hint of sadness lingering behind it, as if you too are reflecting on all that happened.
“Everything will be fine.” You release his hand and gently cup his cheek.
John kisses your forehead, his thumb absently tracing your jaw. “Are you sure?”
The decision is ultimately yours, and John will respect whatever you decide.
“I’m sure.”
“Okay,” he nods.
John pulls you in, lips finding yours. When you melt into him, accepting all that he’s giving, a wave of peace settles over him.
This is right.
And whatever happens, the two of you will face it together.
John "Soap" MacTavish
Johnny drips water all over the floor. He is soaked through. Shivering. But he could give a fuck.
“Where is she?”
“Soap—”
“Where the fuck is she, Price?”
Captain Price sighs heavily and crosses his arms. “She needs rest.”
Johnny swallows down his retort. He’s not upset with Price, and shit like this happens all the time, but he needs to know if you’re okay.
You took a fucking bad fall, and Johnny couldn’t stop to run after you. The mission comes first, and it wasn’t his job. Other people stepped in and whisked you away. But from the height you plummeted from, Johnny feared the worst.
Still does to an extent.
If you were dead, Price wouldn’t hide that from him. But he might hide how bad you’re injured as a way to protect him. Price has always been fatherly in that regard. Right now, it’s driving Johnny fucking nuts.
“Captain. Please,” Johnny clenches his fists and then releases them. “Let me see her.”
Price’s frown smooths a bit and the middle of his brow wrinkles with concern. “For a few minutes. All I can spare.”
Johnny has to keep from rushing to the hospital room doorway when the words leave Price’s mouth. He has Johnny walk with him to your door. Thunder rumbles in the distance and rain steadily hits the large window at the far end of the hospital room.
Just as Johnny takes a step inside, Price’s hand is on his shoulder.
“She’ll make it,” is all he says before he shuts the door.
Johnny lingers right inside. All the lights are off except a small lamp in the corner. Your eyes are closed, and your face is peaceful. There is bruising. A few bandages. The machines next to the bed beep softly.
He was so eager—so determined to get to you. Now, Johnny deflates.
On quiet feet, he grabs a chair and brings it over to your bedside. You don’t stir. Simply sleep. Johnny eases down into the chair and leans forward, his forearms crossed as he rests them on the side of the hospital bed.
Still, you don’t move. And Johnny doesn’t dare wake you.
Rest is important, and all he wants is for you to recover.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “That I didn’t come sooner.” The rain picks up and Johnny smooths back his wet hair. “But I can’t keep doing this. Every time you’re hurt I—” He sighs heavily and rests his forehead on his crossed arms.
“I can’t risk losing you again,” he murmurs into the bedding.
It’s become too much. You’re not supposed to fuck your coworkers and you shouldn’t fall in love with them either. But Johnny did both. With you. And he cannot take that back.
He’d give anything if you’d set this all aside.
Your fingers brushing against his scalp startle him. Johnny lifts his head, only to find you watching him. There is a soft smile on your lips, and his instinct is to grasp your hand and bring it to his lips, kissing each knuckle and then your palm.
The moment your mouth opens to speak, there is knock at the door. Johnny frowns and looks up, finding Price in the doorway.
“Time’s up.”
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berry-potchy · 10 months
Text
Indulge Me
Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x f!reader Rating: Explicit (18+ only please) Word Count: 7,072 Summary: You're a Spiderwoman who has ended up pinned underneath Miguel O'Hara in his lab one too many times. You're not sure what you are to him or what to call your relationship. And that would've been fine until your neediness kicked in and made you catch feelings. Surely, Miguel taking you to his room for the first time means something right? In which your lack of understanding of Spanish and denial of the hints Miguel drops are keeping you from realizing you already have what you want. Tags/warnings: pwp, p in v sex, rough sex, praise + light degradation, multiple orgasms and overstimulation, face sitting/riding, breeding kink, soft dom!Miguel, needy reader, recording, mirror sex adjacent, implied chubby reader, undefined relationship but soft feelings sprinkled in there as a treat, no use of y/n so lots of Spanish nicknames to make up for it, reader does not understand Spanish, brief sexy use of spider webs A/N: this is quite literally just a self-indulgent fic with most of my favorite Miguel x reader flavors. Not beta read but I hope you still enjoy it! (Translations are the end!)
Also on AO3
Edit: turns out some parts got messed up while I was posting here on Tumblr D: it's fine on AO3 though which is weird because I copied from this post instead of my doc because this has the correct spacing. Everything should be fixed now.
•🕷️────✧˖°˖🕸️˖°˖✧────🕷️•
Miguel has you standing in front of him between his parted legs as he sits on the edge of his bed. Even in this position, you were barely any much taller than him, only needing to tilt your head a bit to meet his red eyes. He looks at you from your face, down to the swell of your breast where his eyes are joined by a taloned finger on its journey downwards. You can’t help but let out a soft sigh as the sharp talon cuts through your spandex suit, fully exposing your soft chest to the cold air of his quarters. He would argue that the stretchy translucent mesh with a spiderweb lace design on your chest area didn’t do shit to cover the fullness of your tits anyway so he didn't understand why you even bothered with it. It was for style obviously but riling up Miguel O’Hara was a great bonus. You let out a shaky breath as he continued further down until he stopped right below your navel.
“Que linda,” he says in that low sexy voice of his, very different from the usual grumpy tone he uses to chastise you. He snakes his arms around your hips, bringing you closer to him and his hands find your plush bottom, giving them a rough squeeze. You are getting so worked up by how much attention you are getting from your usually sulky boss. Your heaving chest is right in front of Miguel’s face and his lustful gaze almost feels like it is burning you. The heat spreads from your chest downwards until it pools in the pit of your stomach and between your legs.
“You ruined my suit,” you pout, not really that upset about it. You think it was hot honestly but you just want to tease him “Am I supposed to go on missions with my whole chest out now? Walk around the HQ flashing everyone?”
“Of course not,” he says, rolling his eyes. He continues to take in your figure, hands gently kneading soft flesh on your sides “I’m making you a new suit. Should be done very soon. It'll be the same design but it will offer far more protection than this flimsy thing.”
“Making me a suit just like yours? What so you can control it hm? Deactivate it whenever you want to fuck me?” You laugh, wiping the imaginary tear in your eye until you realize Miguel is silent and looks like he’s been caught red-handed. You lightly slap him on his arm, flustered. “You’re a pervert, you know that?”
Instead of answering you, he brings his head forward to close his lips on a clothed nipple, his tongue flicking the sensitive erect bud. Your mouth opens as you let out a soft gasp at the sensation and you can feel the corner of Miguel’s lips twitch into a slight smirk. He teases your nipple alternating between flicking it with the tip of his tongue and giving it an audible suck. He pulls away for a split second only to give the same attention to your other nipple. You weave your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to your tits. Your other hand is holding onto his shoulder for support as you urge him to keep going with your whimpers. His hands haven’t stopped exploring your body. His wide hands warm against your hips, ass, thighs, everywhere he can touch, squeezing your softness, committing every curve to memory.
“Migueeeel,” you whine, rubbing your thighs together to try to relieve the ache between your legs. You appreciate the attention to your nipples but your cunt was throbbing with need. You are so close to ripping the rest of your suit and panties off because the way the fabric is sticking to your wet pussy is becoming too uncomfortable.
“Miguel what, muñeca?” He pulls away, licking his lips. Those red eyes are now looking straight into yours and you feel yourself shiver. You try to look away but Miguel grabs your chin to keep you facing him. “Eyes on me. What do you want? Use your words.”
“Please,” your cheeks burn in embarrassment but Miguel just raised an eyebrow at you, unamused. “Stop teasing please.”
“Ah I see okay,” he says, taking his hands off you before standing up and walking to his closet.
“W-wait what are you doing?” you almost trip on your feet, knees feeling weak, as you chase after him. You grab his arm, tugging at it to get his attention as you pathetically look up at him.
“You said stop teasing so I’m getting you a shirt so you can go back to your world and get some rest,” he says as he looks through the neatly folded shirts in his closet. He’s stalling, pretending he was trying to choose one but he’s messing with you. There is no way he would let you go home tonight without getting at least a couple of orgasms wrung out of you. You aren’t leaving until he made sure you were stuffed full and dripping with his cum. You aren’t leaving tonight. Period. He knew you were too far gone with lust to figure that out yourself.
“Miggy, that’s not what I meant please,” you sob, pressing your body against him. Just the thought of being left unsatisfied was painful. “Please, Miggy, I need your mouth. And your cock please”
He finally looks at you and pulls you closer to him by your waist. You run your hands along his still clothed chest, feeling his heart beating with yours. You look up at him with glassy eyes, begging him to finish what he started. He coos at how desperate you were for release.
“You want my mouth and my cock?” he hums, still teasing. He easily lifts you up with one arm supporting your ass to carry you back to his bed. He’s carried you multiple times before but it never ceases to amaze you how he does it so effortlessly. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, hips bucking trying to get some friction against your still unfortunately clothed cunt. “Where do you want them, muñeca? You have to be more specific. Which one do you want first?”
“On my pussy, please. I need your mouth on my pussy. Miggy, I wanna cum on your face” you sobbed against his neck “And then- and then I want you to fuck me. I want you to fill me up with your cock. Only you can fill me up so good, Miggy. I need it.”
“Good girl,” he whispers right next to your ear, making you shudder “Now, was that so hard to do? Was it hard to tell me what you wanted?”
“Yes!” you bite his shoulder and you feel satisfaction when you hear him break character and snort. He shakes his head, smiling fondly while he sets you down on the bed.
"Qué voy a hacer contigo?" he brings his lips to your temple to whisper more softly "Qué haría sin ti?"
Your heart skips a beat at the gentleness of his tone. You’re not sure what he said but the genuine affection is evident. Intimate moments like this with Miguel are slowly becoming more and more frequent and you decide that you don’t mind it. You even crave it now. A satisfied sigh leaves your lips as you lean further toward him.
He pulls away but the fond look on his face doesn’t waver. He slaps your thigh, making the soft fat jiggle just how he likes it, as he moves to get settled in his bed.
“Put those lovely hips and thighs to use and ride my face, conejita.” He lies down, anticipating, patting his chest to encourage you to sit down.
You didn't need to be told twice. You rip off the rest of your suit, your heated skin meeting the cold air of his room making your nipples pebble painfully. You quickly take off your panties and toss them aside with your ruined suit. You squeal as you scramble to get on top of him. You position yourself on top of his waiting mouth, straddling his face but just hovering over his face, hands on the headboard to keep yourself steady. The smell of your arousal is almost too much for Miguel to bear at this proximity. The urge to lock you in his room for the next few days and not let you out until you’re thoroughly fucked and bred is getting hard to ignore. His fangs extend as his animalistic urges surface, yearning to bite you and mark you as his.
“Are you trying to tease me now? How can you ride my face if you don’t sit?” Miguel’s tone is deeper than it was just a second ago. There’s a certain roughness to it, a growl in his voice that makes your hole clench around nothing. He grips your thighs, fingers digging into the soft flesh, waiting for you to sit down or he’ll make you. He’s trying to be patient, turning his head a little to mouth at the fat of your inner thigh. He licks a stray trail of your slick up your thigh, stopping just a breath away from where you both want his mouth to be. You feel him sigh, savoring your taste like he just drank the finest nectar, a promise of what’s to come.
“But Miguel–” you yelp when he suddenly pulls you down by your thighs and you immediately feel his tongue lapping at your aching cunt, his nose bumping deliciously against your swollen clit. He wasn’t going to hear your excuses. The only things he wants to hear coming out of your pretty lips are your moans and whines for more. The way Miguel is sucking and devouring your wetness so eagerly makes your head spin and your grip on the headboard tighten to steady yourself for a moment. He teases your hole, licking around the small opening before plunging in as far as he can, feeling you clench around his tongue. He grows impatient at your lack of movement and starts rocking you back and forth on his face by himself. He flattens his tongue for you to grind your pretty folds onto.
“Miggy, feels so good,” you whine, bending over to look at him from under you. He’s so pretty like this, forehead scrunched up from how focused he is eating you out, and when you get a peak of his nose and his cheeks, they’re shiny from being soaked by a combination of your wetness and his own spit. You take one of your shaking hands off the headboard to brush the hair away from Miguel’s forehead only for him to guide your hand into a fist, grabbing his hair, urging you to use it as leverage to ride his face harder. And who are you to say no to that?
You move your hips to try to match the pace he set for you, your thighs burn but you pay it no mind. Not when you feel that familiar delicious knot forming in your core. Your head lolls to the side and your eyes screwed shut as you immerse in the pleasure, grinding your cunt harder on Miguel’s tongue, nose, chin, anywhere you can get some friction, getting desperate to reach your orgasm.
“‘M gonna cum, Miggy. Gonn’ cum on your face” you whimper. You take your hand off the headboard and bring it to your tits, squeezing them, pinching at rubbing circles on your pebbled nipples. Miguel doesn’t stop lapping hungrily at your pussy, shaking his head from side to side as much as your grip on his hair allows. He groans as he watches in awe as you chase your own pleasure.
So close.
You’re so close you swear you can almost taste it.
Miguel could tell from how your hips stuttered and your pace growing frantic, rougher. He gives your clit another suck and that finally pushes you over the edge.
You feel the sweet release consume you like wildfire, your body tensing, back arching, toes curling. You can’t even hear yourself scream Miguel’s name, curling into yourself as he continues to suck on your oversensitive, pulsating clit. His hands held your shaking thighs steady, not letting you close them. It’s all too much.
“Miggyyy,” you sob pathetically, pawing at his head and his grip on you. You finally manage to pry an eye open only to see him watching you intently “Too much. I can’t-”
He doesn’t stop. He continues to lick stripes at your puffy folds and flick the sensitive bud with the tip of his tongue albeit slower this time. He takes one of his hands away from your thigh and plunges two of his thick fingers knuckle deep inside your needy hole. He manages to find your sweet cushiony spot and puts enough pressure on it to make you see stars. That burning hot coil is back just mere seconds after your climax and if you could think at that moment, you’d think it’s unfair how he seems to know your body too well, knows just where to touch to make you unravel.
He adds another finger into your cunt, stretching you out for his cock, curling them inside you, and hitting your sweet spot over and over again. You know that it’s not enough, that it’s nothing compared to what’s coming for you. No matter how much prep you do it's going to be a tight fit and you can’t wait to be stretched to your limits once more. You stop fighting him, needing to chase after your orgasm, grinding your clit again on his tongue as he pumps his fingers in and out of your slutty hole.
Soon enough, you feel your second orgasm wash over you. You spill over his face, making a mess on his pillows and bedsheets. Your limbs go numb and this time you can’t even form words, just sobbing, babbling nonsense as your body shakes on top of Miguel. You would’ve fallen over if it wasn't for Miguel supporting your back with his free hand. You frantically tap his hand as you hiccup a pathetic “no more.”
Miguel relents and lets you catch your breath for a second. He kisses your puffy cunt one more time before moving you to lie on your back on the bed. He lifts your head to turn over the soiled pillow and fluff it up before getting you settled comfortably. You watch as he catches the dripping wetness from his chin with his equally soaked fingers and sticks them into his mouth, eyes rolling back and moaning at your sweet taste. You feel your cunt throb at the lewd action and you can’t help but let out a needy whimper from the back of your throat. It’s so unfair how much he affects you.
“Ay, pobrecita,” he coos at your flushed face with fat tears running down your cheeks as he nudges your legs apart with his knee and settles between your parted legs. “too much for mi conejita to handle? I know you can take more. Your pussy is so slutty, isn’t she? So needy. I doubt two orgasms is enough.”
He cups your face with one hand, thumb wiping away a tear on your cheek, his other hand brushing your hair away from your face, knowing how much you hate the feeling of it sticking to your skin. Your lower lip is jutting out in an adorable pout that he can’t help but kiss, catching your lip between his teeth. You scrunch up your nose and push his face away as you try to steady your breath.
You can see his naked chest rise and fall faster than usual, his mouth open to catch his own breath. You didn’t even notice when he disabled his suit but your eyes are thankful as you drink in the sight of his warm brown skin, stretching across the expanse of his unfairly defined body. He looks like he was sculpted by the gods themselves, taking extra care to give him the most perfect proportions. How lucky are you to see this masterpiece up close? It would be a sin to not enjoy the view.
Your eyes trail down from his strong broad shoulders to his massive tits, and even further down to see his cock standing up proudly against his navel, the head dripping beads of precum and smearing it against his abs. Pride blooms in your chest as you realize that he’s just as affected as you are.
Your throat suddenly feels so empty. You lick your lips as you tear your eyes off his cock to look up at his face only to find his hungry gaze meeting yours. His eyes glint with danger as he takes in the sight of you in your post-orgasm haze, seemingly plotting his next move.
You didn’t have to wait long because, of course, he can’t keep his hands away from you.
He moves closer, making you spread your legs further. His hands grab at the back of your thighs to push them towards your torso, your knees almost touching your chest. Your dripping cunt twitches as it’s exposed to the cold air. Your hole clenching on nothing, begging to be filled.
“Que rico. Podría acostumbrarme a esto,” he says, his voice deep and rough with lust as his hands rub up and down your thighs, squeezing, feeling you. He drinks up the sight of you, so bare and exposed, all for him to take. “I could watch you like this all day. Maybe take a video of you right now so I can watch your pretty cunt pulsing, crying for me, anytime I want. Or…”
He takes his cock in one hand, running his thumb on the swollen tip to spread the beads of precum around, pumping his shaft with a few languid strokes. You yelp when he slaps his thick, heavy cock against your puffy folds.
“I could tie you up like this and keep you here for my own pleasure.” He starts moving his hips at a torturously slow pace, sliding his length along your wet folds, getting it lubricated by your own slick. He brings his hands back to your thighs and pushes them even further until you’re practically folded in half. “Keep you here to breed. Fill you up with so much cum and you’ll stay like this so it will surely take, yeah?”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Miggy” you hiss as the tip of his cock keeps bumping into your throbbing clit “What’s stopping you from doing so huh? You have your web and your little surveillance bots. Put them to good use.”
“Of course, you’d love that, my pretty little slut,” he chuckles, shaking his head as he lines up the tip of his cock with your hole. Your eyelids flutter as you hold your breath in anticipation, waiting for that delicious stretch of being filled by his massive cock.
“Eyes on me, cariño,” he commands and you obey, looking up at him from under your lashes “That’s it, good girl.”
He starts to slowly press his cock into your greedy hole. Inch by inch, he sinks in, knocking the air out of your lungs. Midway, maybe, you can’t tell, there’s just so much of him, you start to feel a little faint, your shoulders tense and your mouth stuck hanging open. You feel so full of him, almost like he’s going to split you apart.
“Breathe for me,” he coos as he slowly presses more of him into you, filling you up more than what should be possible. He drapes your legs over his shoulders, his chest pressing against the back of your thighs as he uses his now free hands to cradle your face. You suck in a breath as he instructed and try to even out your breathing. “There you go. Keep breathing. Relax for me. Thaaat’s it. My sweet girl. So good for me.”
You preen at his words, warmth flooding your chest and going straight down to your pussy. His hands stay on your cheeks, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your skin as he pushes the last few inches in. You put your hands on top of his as you lean into his touch. He starts to grind his hips slowly, gently, getting you used to his size. The coarse dark curls at the base of his cock tickle your sensitive clit and the head of his cock softly probing at your cervix makes you roll your eyes back and whimper from the fullness.
“Eres tan hermosa. No sabes lo que me haces, cariño,” he leans in to capture your lips into a deep kiss. Soft and gentle until both of you wanted more. One of his hands finds the back of your neck to tilt your head as he pleases as he tries to devour you. His tongue licks into your mouth and his fangs graze your lips with every movement. You hum against his lips as you feel him start to pull his hips back, letting his dick slide halfway out before snapping his hips forward to plunge himself back inside, his balls lewdly smacking against your ass. And he keeps doing it over, and over again making you moan oh so wantonly.
“Estás tan rica. Estás hecha para mí, mi amor,” he whispers against your lips. The breathlessness and the hint of desperation for release in his voice make you shiver. His pace picks up, thrusts growing rougher with it. The wet sounds of him sliding in and out of you and skin slapping against skin echo around his room. The only other sounds you can hear are your combined sounds of pleasure, calling out each other’s names.
You pull on the hand that Miguel has on your cheek to lace your fingers together, his large hand easily dwarfing yours, his talons folded back to not hurt you. Your other hand slips between your bodies, travelling downwards to feel where you two are connected. There’s a deep rumble coming from Miguel’s chest and he presses your sweaty foreheads together, looking at you through half-lidded eyes. Your tight heat is milking his cock so perfectly and at this rate, he’s not going to last long.
“Miggy,” you whine, keeping your eyes on his. His irises seem a little more brown as he looks at you so tenderly, making you feel like you are going to melt into a puddle of goo. He brings your joined hands to his lips to kiss your knuckles and you think you really just might turn into goo.
His thrusts get messier and more frantic You feel the familiar coil building up in your stomach. You lift your hand from between your legs to press firmly against the area below your navel and the sensation is electrifying. You can feel his cock pistoning in and out of you from where you are touching. You can feel him rearranging your insides, molding your pussy to accommodate him and only him, ruining you for anyone else.
“Mi niña hermosa, mi niña linda. Mía. Toda mía.” he moans into your ear, almost whiney and you know he’s near the edge. He starts peppering kisses on your neck, licking, sucking, grazing the sensitive skin with his fangs but not sinking them in yet. He takes the hand you aren’t holding to rest on your hand on your lower stomach. His thumb reaches further down to stroke your clit earning him a shaky whine from you.
“Cum for me again, hermosa,” he lifts his head to look at your flushed face. You’re sure you look like a mess but to him, you’re more beautiful than the brightest twinkling stars on a clear night sky. “Let me see your pretty face when you cum.”
And with that, you’re gone, pushed over the edge, screaming his name, squirting clear liquid up to his chest. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your hold on his hand tightens, and your legs on his shoulders shake and flail from another intense orgasm. There’s ringing in your ears but you faintly hear him cooing at you, whispering sweet words you can’t quite understand.
Miguel is still fucking into you with messy, frantic thrusts and ragged breaths but it doesn’t take long for him to follow, not when your velvety walls are pulsing, contracting on his dick. He puts a large hand on the space beside your head for support, his claws tearing through the pillowcase, as he drives his hips into yours a few more times before spilling inside you with a deep growl. He paints your insides with his cum as he rides his high with a few more shallow thrusts. You clench around him trying to squeeze as much cum out of him with your tight hole and he whimpers your name.
Both of you pant in unison, trying to catch your breath after that life-altering orgasm together. You turn your head to the side to kiss the inside of Miguel's wrist next to your head. Miguel doesn’t want to move. Everything is too perfect at that moment. You’re perfect.
But he has more plans for you tonight.
He takes your legs off his shoulders to wrap around his waist as he adjusts the both of you so he can lay down comfortably on top of you, putting most of his weight on his elbows on the bed. His dick still plugged in your hole, keeping his seed inside and refusing to part with your tight heat.
“Miggy,” you softly call him, looking at his relaxed face resting on your shoulder, eyes closed.
“Hm?”
“... pull out.”
“No.”
“Please?”
“Fine, but only because I want to,” he grumbles, clearly not wanting to pull out. He gets on his knees again so he can at least watch your sloppy hole fluttering as he slowly pulls out. A thick milky ring of your combined fluid sits at the base of his cock. His eyes darken as he sees your cunt trying to clench at air and his cum starts to drip out of you. He can’t have that. He collects the trail of cum with his fingers so he can stuff them back inside of you.
“Miggy, come back here,” you pull at his hand and when he doesn’t budge, you add “You can just cum inside me more later. I need cuddles.”
That gets him to leave your fucked out hole alone. For now. Miguel kisses your stomach up to the valley between your breasts to your neck and lingers on your lips. He goes back to his earlier position on top of you. You drape your arms around his neck as you hum in contentment against the kiss. He smiles and moves to mouth at your sensitive neck, planting soft kisses, licking and sucking as he moans and pants in your ear.
“Miggy, I’m sleepy now,” you turn to look at him. You know what he’s doing. You know that he’s trying to turn you on again. And it’s working.
“You can do one more, mami. One more for me,” he says. He’s almost pouting, almost begging “You said I can cum in you again.”
“I didn’t mean right away. I just came three times already” you whined wrapping your arms around his broad chest. you want to feel him close.
“Mmm, you can cum four times. Maybe more because you’re such a needy little whore,” he murmurs into your neck, not stopping his ministrations. “My cum slut who loves being bred. We’re not going to end the night without your tummy full of cum I promise you that, cariño.”
You roll your eyes at him but you don't push him away and instead start playing with the short curly hairs at the back of his neck, ignoring the way your pussy shivered at his perverted words. You find comfort in his warmth and weight on top of you. You inhale his familiar deep masculine scent and it almost lulls you to sleep until you feel something wet and hard poking at your thigh.
“How are you hard again?” you say in disbelief as you look down and sure enough, Miguel’s dick is erect and ready to go for another round.
“It’s been a while since we had sex and my hand could only do so much to make up for your absence, cariño,” he huffs as gets up on his knees to turn you over and slap your ass. The sound of his palm meeting the sticky wet skin of your ass is undeniably lewd. “And what about needing to get you pregnant does not make sense to you? Get on your hands and knees for me. That baby is not gonna make itself.”
You plant your knees on the mattress and present your ass to him but you don't bother to lift your upper body from the bed. You keep your face down against the softness of his pillows. You didn't want him to see the giddy smile on your face from hearing that he hasn't slept with anyone else. His cum starts dripping out of your hole, coating your clit with creamy white and Miguel almost cums again on the spot.
“Don’t make me repeat myself.” His large hands grab at your ass, kneading them. His thumbs spread your puffy lips apart so he can watch your cunt try to keep his cum inside. You groan as you force your arms to lift you up. “There’s my good girl.”
He smacks your ass which earned him a yelp from you. His lips curl up as he watches the flesh of your ass jiggle from the impact.
“Get on with it,” you whine, wiggling your ass to entice him to move faster. For someone who wanted to stop at the third round, you sure are impatient to be filled again.
“You are going to be the death of me,” he chuckles as he guides his cock back inside your wet heat. “There you go, mami. Back where it belongs.”
You moan loudly as you feel him grinding his hips, driving his dick as deep as he can reach inside you. Your eyes flutter close, as you savor the stretch of your hole around his fat cock once more. You couldn’t agree more with his words.
You hear Miguel from behind you input a command on a device. It beeps obnoxiously like it’s mocking you. It’s the last thing you want to hear while he is balls deep inside you, his girthy cock stretching you deliciously and filling you up so good. You think to yourself what was so important that Miguel can't put his gizmo down and enjoy the feeling of your warm, tight pussy on his dick? Right after insisting you can go for one more round?
You are about to snap at him for being ungrateful until a hologram appears in front of you. It shows a live video feed of his very own bed and a clear view of your fully naked self on your hands and knees getting ur insides rearranged by your boss. Your hair is a mess and your makeup is all smudged from how he made you cry from all the begging and overstimulation earlier. And he looks so big compared to you, having to bend low to align his hips with yours. You didn't even notice the recording devices planted around the room until now from how your brain was so fogged by lust. There seem to be at least three around the room from different angles. Well, it turns out he wasn’t just bluffing when he said he could record you earlier.
You wonder if he always had those set up. You haven’t really been to his room before. The few “encounters” you had with Miguel happened in his laboratory on his silly little platform, both of you too consumed by lust to think about moving to a more private area. It’s rather unlikely that they’re for actual safety reasons when they all just record the same area. You entertain the idea that him taking you to his room tonight is not just a spur-of-the-moment thing, that he might have all of this set up for tonight for when he has you writhing in pleasure on his bed. How thoughtful, you think. It makes you clench around his dick.
"You really are a pervert," you quip to annoy him. Clearly, the urge to mess with him hasn’t been thoroughly fucked out of you yet. You didn't even get to laugh at your own childish remark when Miguel abruptly starts thrusting his hips without warning, harder this time, dragging out a surprised whimper from you. His tip is bullying your cervix, testing the line between pleasure and pain but you love it. Your eyes meet Miguel's intense red glare on the screen.
"You're still talking," he tuts, his head shaking like he's some kind of pet owner trying to reprimand a disobedient pet "Let me fix that, cariño.”
He brings his large calloused hands back on you – where they belong, you think to yourself, echoing Miguel’s words. His left hand is firm on the flesh of your waist, you are sure they are going to bruise once he’s done with you. His other hand fondles your breasts, the sharp talons on his fingertips lightly grazing your soft skin. You know that when you look at yourself in the mirror tomorrow morning you’d look like you barely got away from being mauled by a feral beast, evidence of how Miguel O'Hara had his way with you and how you enjoyed every single second of it.
You cry out his name, chanting it like a prayer. He’s so deep inside you that you can almost feel him in your chest, his thrusts fucking the air out of your lungs.
“Miggy, Mi…. Mig– ah, ah Mi– haaaa –guel ahhh”
Your eyes roll back at the continuous assault on your sweet spot and your cervix with every deep thrust. High-pitched whines come out of your throat as your arms give out from under you, making you fall face-first on the soft mattress. It all feels so good but overwhelming. You think you’re going to pass out.
“Que rico, mami,” he pulls your hair so you can face the screens. “Look at yourself. Beautiful. Taking my cock so well. Don’t worry. I have this all recorded if you’re too cock drunk to watch yourself now, cariño.”
You can't say anything back. You try really hard to come up with something but the only word that comes out of your mouth is “please” over and over again becoming progressively needier each time. He wraps his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, his chest flushed against your back, allowing him to rock you back against his forceful thrusts.
“Gonn’ make sure I put a baby in you tonight, cariño,” he growls in your ear. “I can’t wait to see your tummy swell in a few months. You’ll look divine, I won't be able to take my hands off you even more.”
His eyes are back to a glowing red as they meet yours that are glazed over by tears and lust. His hand tightens his hold on your hair making you tilt your head further, exposing more of your neck for him to suck bruises on. Your tits are bouncing freely at his aggressive pace. Coupled with the high-pitched moans coming out of your mouth, it’s all so pornographic. It makes you feel like liquid fire is running through your veins and pooling into your stomach.
“You’re gonna cum for me? Let go. Come on. cum for me, mami,”Miguel grunts in your ear, his hand on your hair letting go so he can greedily grab at your tits. “I wanna feel your cunt pulsing on my cock. Can you do that for me? Of course, you can. Going to milk me dry.”
And just like that, you throw your head back on his shoulder, eyes screwing shut as another wave of orgasm crashes down on you. Miguel follows closely, filling you up with more cum that drips down your thighs and on the bedsheets. Your body slumps back against his, too tired to keep yourself upright. You don’t even have the energy to open your eyes, content with feeling Miguel’s warm body against yours.
“I got you,” he says, wrapping his arms around you and moving you to lie down on the bed. You hum in contentment, letting him care for your tired body. He bends down to plant a kiss on your forehead before he pulls away. You miss his touch already.
A beeping sound lets you know that he turned off the monitors. You feel him taking the soiled bedsheets, getting up from the bed to get fresh ones. You have half the mind to reach out to him and tell him he can clean up later so you can cuddle now. Your mouth, however, doesn’t want to move so instead you groan as you blindly reach your hands out.
Miguel chuckles at your antics, walking back with fresh sheets and a damp towel to wipe off the sticky mess from your body. He sits next to you on the bed and brings the towel to your tear-stained cheeks, gently dabbing the area around your eyes to get rid of the messed up traces of mascara and eyeliner. You take your hand to rest on your chest trying to calm your wildly beating heart.
The comfortable silence, unfortunately, doesn’t last long. You hear the unmistakable voice of Lyla cut through the air.
“Heeeey, bossman! Heeeey, girlie!” she drawls and your eyes snap open as you snatch the sheet from Miguel’s hands to cover yourself.
“Ay, coño! I thought I said no alerts tonight,” Miguel looks pissed, rubbing his face in frustration before moving to turn off his watch. “It can wait until tomorrow.”
“Wait, wait! Sorry to interrupt the big night, Miguel, but it’s an emergency. Trust me you’ll want to fix this now,” Lyla raises her hands in surrender before Miguel presses a button. She turns to you, looking apologetic and asking for help “Then you can go back to babymaking, right, dollface?”
“I–” you flush, choking on your own words. You begrudgingly turn to Miguel, your lower lip caught in between your teeth. You lower your eyes as an ugly feeling crawls up your chest.
“It sounds important. You should go,” you whisper, not trusting your voice to speak up any louder. “I’d say I can be back up but I can hardly move so you’re on your own, big guy.”
Miguel sighs and gets up, telling Lyla to send him the information and that it better be worth his time.
You are already sexually satisfied and tired – that’s what four orgasms could do to you – but you are a little upset and sulky that Miguel has to be called in for work right now. Stupid anomaly or whatever it is. It’s probably important and a universe out there might be in grave danger. But you can't help feeling like shit about it though.
You like how soft Miguel gets when he cleans you up after sex. You like it when he picks up your tired form and whispers soft words to you in Spanish. Plus, you were looking forward to cuddles. What’s the use of having sex in his room on his bed if not to cuddle afterward and wake up next to each other the next day? And then, suddenly, in the early morning light, realize that you’ve been madly in love with each other all along. Okay, you are more than just a little upset.
Miguel notices you pouting and your eyes getting glassy with tears as you try to roll off the bed. He shoots his glowing red web at you, trapping you where you are before going back to readjusting his watch.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asks, walking back to the bed as he makes sure his suit is all good and ready for the mission. He kneels on the bed to drag you to lie on your back.
“What are you doing? I'm going to take a shower,” you sniffle trying to avoid his eyes “I’ll take care of myself. you should go”
He hums as he takes both your wrists in one hand and forces them above your head to secure them together with his webs.
“Miggy?” you look at him and there’s a spark of mischief in his eyes. He darts his tongue across his lower lip and you feel a shiver run up your spine.
He doesn’t respond. He only keeps looking at you like he’s going to devour you once more. He brings your legs up to the position he had in before, knees to your chest, cunt fully exposed to him. You blush and your heart starts pounding in your chest. He shoots out more of his web, making sure you’re comfortable and your legs are securely tied in that position.
“Good?” he whispers and you nod in response “Words, cariño.”
“Perfect,” you moan, your chest heaving with need. He smiles at you fondly, caressing your cheek with a curled finger, and plants chaste kisses on your temple, your nose, and the corner of your mouth until he reaches your lips. He hums in contentment as he savors the feel of your lips against his. Then, he pulls away reluctantly and puts on his mask. He sets his watch to the right coordinates opening up a portal to wherever the universe needs saving.
“I’ll be back as fast as I can. I’ll make sure that anomaly regrets ever being made for interrupting my plans for our night,” he grumbles and gives you one last kiss through his mask for good luck. “And then it’s going to be all about you for the rest of the night, hm? I promise.”
He walks into the portal backwards so he can look at you until it closes and takes him away. Your heart flutters in your chest, anticipating what’s to come as you feel the webs digging deliciously into your soft flesh.
•🕷️────✧˖°˖🕸️˖°˖✧────🕷️•
Translations:
Que linda - how pretty
muñeca - doll
cariño - dear/darling
Qué voy a hacer contigo? - What am I going to do with you?
Qué haría sin ti? - What am I going to do without you?
conejita - little rabbit
pobrecita - poor thing
que rico - “[you] look good” (literal: tastes good)
Podría acostumbrarme a esto - I could get used to this
Eres tan hermosa. No sabes lo que me haces - You're so beautiful. You don't know what you do to me
Estás tan rica. Estás hecha para mí, mi amor - You feel so good. You were made for me, my love
Mi niña hermosa, mi niña linda. Mía. Toda mía. - My beautiful girl, my sweet girl. Mine. All mine.
mami - mommy (as an endearment for a partner)
coño - pussy
A/N: so many thanks to my friend who helped me with translating and giving me tips on some better Spanish terms to use 🙏
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daveth-isnt-dead · 4 months
Text
Tentatively
Summary:
You don’t want to tell him the truth, that most of your friends have grown up and don’t talk to you anymore, that while you love your family it’s too difficult to find time to travel and see them, that you are incredibly lonely.
Contains: Fem Reader, Death Mention (but only as much as you would expect given the source material) Word Count: 2,235 Read on AO3
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You still feel strange a few hours after leaving the chatroom. Grim, who despite all evidence to the contrary, is actually the Grim Reaper, left pretty abruptly after telling you there is something incredibly wrong with your soul and you are unsure if you should be concerned or offended about the whole thing. 
After a disappointing meal of microwaved leftovers and an attempt at enjoying a relaxing bath despite your apartment’s abysmal water temperature, you find yourself laying back on your bed and staring up at the all too uninteresting ceiling as you wait for your hair to dry. The window above your desk is open and the cool breeze is pleasant, but you’re already getting the sense that you will have trouble getting to sleep tonight, despite Grim’s uncharacteristic insistence that you get some rest after today. 
There’s something so lonely about these summer nights, lonely enough that you find yourself scrolling through your contacts list, looking for someone ( anyone ) to talk to. Calling your parents this late will only make them worry, and all of your friends from uni have much better sleep schedules than you do and will already be out cold. You toss your phone onto the vacant pillow beside you and let out a sigh, that really only leaves one option. 
Hoisting yourself from the bed, you walk over to the desk and grab your laptop. Quickly tapping open the chatroom app and turning off your camera before hitting the call button. You push your lamp and pot-plant out of the way to leave room for the laptop on your bedside table and lay back down as you wait for an answer. 
You spend the first seven rings worrying that he won't pick up, by the eighth you are proven wrong.
“I thought I already told you to go to sleep.” He says in lieu of a greeting. 
All the lethargic energy in the room suddenly dissipates, and your mouth tugs up in a smile, “Hello to you too”
“I was being serious.”
“Yeah, but you aren’t my boss.” He huffs, “I am your reaper.” “Oh?” You reply, smirking to yourself, “ My reaper, are you? Just mine?” “No! I- I’m just assigned to you. That does not mean-”
You laugh, “Sorry, sorry. I’m just teasing, thank you for picking up, I mean it.” It’s quiet, but you swear that you hear a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the call, “I- well, I just wanted to be certain that you were not suffering any side effects from the soul connection.” He clears his throat, “You…aren’t…are you?”
“I’m having trouble sleeping, but I don’t think I can blame that on you. I suppose I feel a little jittery? But that makes sense given my emotional state right now.” “What is it?” “What’s what?” “Your uh- your emotional state.”
“Oh.” You say, feeling your heart beating a rapid tattoo behind your ribs, “Well, I dunno. I’m a little overwhelmed, I suppose. I really just thought you were an edgy cosplayer, and I mean, you still are but you are also literally the Grim Reaper, so I’m still just dealing with that I guess.”
“That is perfectly normal, then. Though you should have been feeling frightened the moment I contacted you, your reaction was quite delayed.” “Hey! I never said ‘frightened’ I said overwhelmed! That’s a completely different emotion.”
He chuckles, “Unable to stop thinking about me, then?” “That also isn't what I said.” Though, he isn’t entirely wrong, “I’m just worried about how I'm going to focus at work tomorrow when I’ll be spending the whole day looking over my shoulder to make sure some white-haired twink isn't about to commit murder upon me.” 
“White-haired what? ” “Twinnnnk~” You reply, “Look it up, I’m sure that will keep you busy for a few hours.” “I hardly need to be kept busy , I have important work to do.” “Like stealing my soul.” “Yours and others, I do not just follow you around all day.” He says dryly, “You are not that important. Also, I will not be murdering you. I am pushing you in the correct direction, one you have stubbornly been avoiding for far too long.” You hum quietly to yourself, reaching out to pat your cat where he sits next to you on the bed, “How was I meant to die anyway? Just out of curiosity, since you seem to know everything about it.” He doesn't answer for some time, and the deafening silence makes you regret even posing the question. 
“Do you really want to know?” He finally asks, “Most people never find out, because unlike you they die when they are supposed to.” “Hit me with it, Grimmy.” He groans, “Do not call me that.” then you hear him sigh, deeply, contemplatively, “You were supposed to die of food poisoning.” “Oh.” You reply, feeling your heart sink a little, “Damn, that sucks. That’s so…boring”
“Death often is.” “I guess, well, I guess I was hoping that the way I die might be interesting at least. What food would have poisoned me anyway?” “Ham sandwich.” “Yikes. Was the ham poisoned or something?” “No, just expired. On a related note, you do need to clean out your fridge more often.” He’s right. Your fridge is pretty nasty, and it kind of always has been. It’s a very low priority on your list of tasks.
“Grim?”
“Yes?”
You swallow, unsure how to phrase the real question hiding in the recesses of your mind, “could you…I dunno, kill me gently, if it comes to it? I mean, I just-“ you roll over onto your side, making eye contact with the black screen of your laptop, “If I have to die, I don’t want it to hurt.”
There’s silence for a moment, and then he replies, “I don’t want it to hurt you either.”
“That’s…sweet, Thank you.” “Lacking desire to see you suffer does not make me sweet , it makes me considerate .” He sighs irritably, “More importantly, does this mean you’re finally willing to hand over your soul?” You laugh, “ No! I just- I dunno, I had a weird day and I'm feeling kinda existential now.” You look through your window, staring up at the night sky, “Do you feel that way sometimes, or is it just a human thing?”
“I do not see how that’s any of your business.” “C’mon, Grim. Just play along for once, get silly with it.” You hear him huff on the other end of the line, you can picture the exact pouty face he must be making right now, “I have been a reaper as long as I can remember, and will continue to be one for the rest of my life, there is little for me to be existential about.”
“Hm.” 
“What?” He says brusquely, “What are you ‘hm-ing’ about?”
“The thought of having one job for the rest of my life is exactly the sort of thing that makes me existential, that’s all.” “Well you don’t have to work at the same job for the rest of your life, so what exactly are you complaining about?” “I mean, the rest of my life might only be a few more days.” You say, “Provided you win our bet of course, which you will not be doing.” “Do not doubt me, Sunshine. You may come to regret it.” You giggle, “Doubtful.” There’s a rustling sound on the other end of the call, you can only assume that he is also lying in bed right now, “I am quite literally death, and I even gave you concrete proof of this fact this evening.” his voice turns quiet, dare you think it, wistful, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” You shrug, even though he can’t see you, “You aren’t very scary.”
“I am going to take your soul .” “You are going to try and take my soul.” a smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, “And even if you do, you’ve already promised to do it gently .” “I promised not to hurt you, I never said anything about being gentle .” 
“I’m sorry, I just don’t see the difference between those two statements.” He groans, and when he speaks again his voice is muffled. You suspect he has his face buried in a pillow, “You are infuriating. When I leave the chatroom for the evening I assume that I am done with you, I was not prepared for you to insist on continuing our conversation well into the night.”
“What, are you tired?” All goes quiet for a moment, and then, “No. Are you?” “Nope.” “Hmph, you should be at this hour, especially after a day of work.”
“I- well, I dunno…”
You don’t want to tell him the truth, that most of your friends have grown up and don’t talk to you anymore, that while you love your family it’s too difficult to find time to travel and see them, that you are incredibly lonely. You are tired, you have to be up at 5:00 to get ready for work tomorrow morning, but the idea of saying goodbye, of hanging up, makes something ache deep inside you. Something inside the very soul he wants to steal. 
“You don’t know, what?”
“Huh?” Grim huffs again, “You said, ‘i dunno’ and then stopped talking, which is very out of character for you, by the way.” “Oh? Did you miss me? Were even those brief seconds of silence enough to make you realize how much you love hearing my voice?” “I will hang up.” 
“Don’t.” You say before you have time to think better of it, “Please.”
“I-“ he clears his throat, “Only if you can act normally for the rest of our conversation.”
“I’m plenty normal, you’re the weird one.”
“What’s weird, how am I weird?”
You roll onto your back, staring up at the celing, “Oh i dunno, just the whole ‘I am death incarnate! I have come for your soul! I will connect my soul to yours! ’ schtik” 
“You know fully well that it is not a…what did you call it? A schtik?” He pronounces the word completely wrong, “Whatever that is, it is not one of those. I am death incarnate, I am here for you soul, and you were literally an active part in the soul connection.”
“Oh, about that soul connection thing, by the way.” He scoffs, “Your ability to change the subject at a whim is still strong as ever i see.” 
“I know, I’m very talented- anyway! I wanted to ask if you can do anything cool now that we have a soul link or whatever.” “I have already told you, I cannot control your body. As entertaining as it would be to embarrass you publicly, even my exceptional abilities could not do that” 
“Oh kay , how about something easier, then?” You feel the warmth of your cat as he snuggles up against your side and instinctively reach out to pat him, “Read my mind, go on!” “I cannot do that.” “C’mon, Grimmy, give it a go!” You squeeze your eyes shut, “I’m thinking about something real hard right now.” He sighs, “Are you thinking about your cat?” “ Whaaaat? How did you know?!”
“I didn’t know , i guessed. I can’t read your mind, but i am still attuned with your soul.” His voice has turned uncharacteristically soft, he’s almost whispering, “It… flutters …when you are happy, and your cat makes you happy. So I guessed…”
“So you’re a soul reader, then?” You ask, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach also feels oddly fluttery right now.
“That is not a thing. You’re just making things up now.”
“Try again.” You say, your mind unwittingly flooded with thoughts of soft white hair and judgemental red eyes. Of hands you wish were bare, of sharp toothed smiles. Your heart slows to a languid rhythm, and something you aren’t ready to put a name to curls warmly in your belly. You close your eyes, softly this time, and breathe, “What am i thinking about now?”
He goes silent for a long time, you can hear the slow, even draw of his breath. You can picture him laying back on his bed, hair splayed over the pillow, brow creased in concentration and you wonder if he is thinking about you too. After what feels like an age, he finally answers, “your…plant?”
You burst into laughter and any tension in the air shatters, “My plant?! What about my soul was screaming plant just then?”
“Well, I don’t know! It was just happy again, happier, even and I assumed that you were smart enough not to just think about your cat again.” 
“Yeah, you got me.” You lie, “it was my cat again.”
“Hells, every single day you find a new way to get under my skin.” He sighs, and despite his earlier statement, his next words come out almost fondly , “You need sleep, mortal.”
“Yeah.” You reply, feeling that ache tug at you again, “I probably do.”
“I will talk to you tomorrow, that is, if you survive until then.”
That gets a laugh out of you, and you can’t tell if that was his intention or if he was being completely serious, “I look forward to it. Remember to murder me nicely, Grim.”
“As nicely as I can, I swear.” You can hear his smile, “Goodnight, Sunshine.”
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loveindefinitely · 5 months
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༊*·˚ FOREVER WINTER (IF YOU GO) — task force 141 x reader
03 — MY COMPASS, MY TRANSPORT
featuring. simon 'ghost' riley + johnny 'soap' mactavish + kyle 'gaz' garrick + john 'bravo six' price + (non-endgame phillip graves)
warnings. nsfw, fem!reader, fmmmm, enemies to lovers, slow burn, polyamory, ghostsoap, pricegaz, alerudy, heavy angst, requited unrequited love, graphic violence
series masterlist. read on ao3. fanfic playlist.
<- previous part | next part ->
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“I have nothing else to live for.”
It’s a truth. A deep, earnest one – and it’s the only option you have.
Without Graves, without your Shadows, you have nothing. No income, no family, no support. You're left with the clothes on your body and the shoes in which you stand, with no hope of finding your footing.
In the darkness, the only light shines from the headlights of the truck, and the red of the radio. It’s silenced, of course, but it serves as a beacon of something between you all.
“I don’t – I have no other choice,” you say, voice trembling. You would not break in front of them, but you could feel yourself cracking; porcelain underneath a harsh grip. Turning yourself so you’re completely facing the two, your expression turns desperate. “I want to help you both, and I want to save Phi– Graves.”
You correct yourself at the final moment, wary of your slip up.
“Save ‘im? From what? Feckin’ charges for war crimes? Getting his ass handed to ‘im?” Soap chokes out, incredulous, eyes wide where they meet yours. He winces when he moves forward too quick, straining his arm.
“He’s…” You look down at your hands, merely watching for a moment as they close into a fist and open again. Blood crusts underneath your fingernails. “He’s all I have. I’m sure he just needs a wake up call, someone to snap him out of it.”
“He tried to kill us,” Ghost speaks up, matter-of-fact, but quiet. As if at any moment, his words will wake up the entire city. If there were any civilians left in it, you supposed. Your eyes burn with unshed tears.
“...And I had to kill some of my men.”
It’s a confession of sin. Like poison on your tongue, yet at the same time, an anecdote to an evil in your veins. You’d killed your men. You’d… done that.
You still haven’t quite allowed yourself to realise it, not yet.
But if it’s enough to keep you alive right now, so be it. You hadn’t gotten this far just to give up over something as inconsequential as pride.
“Ye will tell us everything you know about ‘im. And’ll help us until we figure out what to do. We’re our own bosses now, Sweetheart,” Soap commands, that fucking nickname of his seeming to stick. You don’t dispute it – not right now, not when this is quite literally life or death.
“I promise,” you say, resolute and stern. There was no time for self-pity or wallowing, only time for action and conviction – something you had in spades. “I’m yours for as long as you need me.”
You hadn’t known how true those words would be – not then, and not for a good while. But they were a prophecy, if such a thing could at all be possible for a woman like you.
Soap and Ghost share a look; a brief, yet important one, before Ghost gives the Scot a short nod. Soap turns once more to you, his face betraying the answer of their silent agreement.
“...So?” You suggest, impatient considering the consequences of the next few moments. 
Bringing a hand up to stroke at his stubbled chin, Soap makes an act of pretending to ponder – and it succeeds in stoking the flames at your core, fury burning through you like a liquor-soaked rope.
“I dunno, lass,” he says on a sigh, his ocean eyes betraying a mischief in their depths. “Yer kinda mean to me.”
You might choke him.
Actually, check that, you will choke him. He’s impossible – an arsehole to the nth degree – somehow worse than Ghost in his… foolishness? Was that the right word? Or just straight frustrating-ness?
Seeming to sense your thinning patience, Soap’s hand falls from his jaw with a mirthful smirk, proud of himself. 
“If ye say pretty please, ye can join our lil’ duo.” He finishes the statement off with a wink, and you don’t realise that your hands have curled into fists until the sharp pain of nails digging into your palms force you to resort back to your senses.
You let out a slow, loud breath. 
Neither of them move a muscle, except for the twitch of Soap’s dimple. You hate that you recognise such a small movement, but you easily blame it on the fact that it’s a drilled-in mentality.
“...Please,” you acquiesce, however quiet. 
Ghost’s eyebrow raises. How you’re aware of that, considering his mask, is a props to him. 
“That’s not what he asked for.” His voice is a low, husky thing, and the title of guard dog suddenly doesn’t sound so incorrect.
With your teeth gritted and cheeks straining, you mutter out, “Pretty please.”
Soap’s responding smile is nothing short of beaming, and you almost immediately wish that you could take those words back. Was death really so bad? Would it even be a mercy, compared to deciding to share a threadbare camaraderie with these weirdos?
Too bad time control isn’t exactly a well-researched military weapon.
“Let’s go then,” Ghost slaps his gloved hand against the steering wheel, before looking one last time towards you with purpose, “Sweetheart.”
Soap laughs.
You get out and slam the door in his face.
“Och! You feckin’ bastard, lass,” you hear him screech, before the door opens once more and Soap hops out, fuming.
Turning away, you fall behind Ghost, and quickly take a look around at the vast, empty area that is barren suburbia. Not before responding, however.
“Next time you get shot, I’m not taking care of your ass,” you threaten. “And I’m giving the rest of my sweets to Mr. Melodramatic.”
Soap’s returning mock gasp is, in all fairness, pretty comedic. “You have more sweets? Gimme those and ye lovely bedside manners ‘nd I’ll get a cavity!”
Your returning glare could cut steel. “Keep that up, and you’ll end up with bigger issues than a cavity.”
“I think ye are already the bigger issue,” Soap snaps back, but it’s not inherently malicious. It’s… borderline playful, and that sudden thought has you internally slapping yourself.
“Both of ya – quiet,” Ghost warns.
You both shut up immediately.
With wary steps, the three of you go to step up towards the front door, when Ghost swings out a hand, stopping the lot of you in your tracks. The night doesn’t allow for any of you to see well, but he must’ve picked up something that you hadn’t.
The thought is an immediately terrifying one.
“Pressure plates,” Soap murmurs under his breath, eyeing the square linoleum tile. “Nice catch, Lt.”
Ghost doesn’t respond, instead motioning for you to follow him towards a glassless window. Gravel crunches underneath your light footfalls, easily heard in the deathly quiet, as you move to swing your leg over the access point and drop to the floor inside.
Landing with a soft thud, you go to unfurl from your crouching position, before a loud warning shout from Ghost has you freezing.
Flinching where you stand, your eyes dart to where Ghost has flung one of his daggers, the sharp metal splintering a wooden beam further into the dark room. Realising that Soap sits at your flank, you shift your gaze to spot a red light focused in on his forehead – between his eyes.
“¿Quien esta ahi?” An unfamiliar, accented voice calls out from behind the beam. You could slap yourself for being so careless, in not realising that someone else was in here before Ghost had saved your arses. 
“Rodolfo!” Soap calls out, relief flooding his tone as he rights his position, shoulders back.
A man peeks out from behind the wood, eyes wide and slightly panicked, before they soften at the sight of the two men behind you. “Soap! Ghost! You’re alive!”
Stepping out from around the beam, he reaches for Ghost’s dagger, pulling it away from where it had dug into the oak with undeniable ease. His appearance is striking, with a set jaw and gentle features – he’s quite pretty, but not at all in a way that you find yourself attracted to the man.
“Affirmative,” Ghost responds, accepting the knife back when the man – Rodolfo – hands it to him hilt-first.
“Good to see you, amigos,” Rodolfo smiles, before his appraisal sets on you, confusion sparking in his deep brown eyes. He looks to the two men at your side for an explanation, hesitant in the way he does so.
“This is…” Soap trails off, before coming to a realisation. “Feckin’ hell. I never even asked for yer name, Sweetheart.”
Rodolfo blinks. Once, twice, before his eyebrows furrow and his mouth settles into an uncomfortable grimace.
You shoot a glare Soap’s way, before gifting Rodolfo a polite, yet stilted, smile. Extending your hand, you give him your name, and then your official title.
“Colonel? Graves’ colonel?” Rodolfo repeats back, utterly taken aback by such an introduction. He doesn’t seem to know what to do, quickly hissing to Soap in unamused Spanish, “¿Has perdido la cabeza?”
“I saved his life,” you interrupt, before any verbal sparring begins. “And I’m on your team. I don’t agree with what Graves is doing – and I’m sorry for what he’s already done. But I want to help you. I swear.”
Rodolfo regards you for a moment, his internal walls still heavily locked in place. But he seems… softer, now, in a way. More understanding, maybe, less hesitant as he slowly appraises you, inspecting you under his critical analysis.
The silence stretches, before the soldier raises his hands placatingly, the left side of his mouth twitching into a smooth smirk. “No accusations from me, Corazón,” he reassures, the pet name sliding from his full lips like butter over warm toast.
“Aye, none of tha’,” Soap warns, and Rodolfo’s amusement deepens. Whatever the Scot is about to say next is abruptly stopped by Ghost’s booming demand from behind you both.
“Anyone outside of these walls is now considered a hostile – we’re a team now. This happened under my watch, and I’d bloody well do good to fix it.” His posture is stiff, hand unconsciously flexing around the blade strapped to his belt as he delivers the order. It’s the most you’ve ever heard him speak in one shot.
You figure he’s stopped speaking, when suddenly his heavy gaze is on you, any ounce of solidarity snuffed out like a match’s flame. “You fuck up once, Sweetheart, and I won’t hesitate when I shoot ya dead.”
It’s as good of a compromise as you’re going to get from the hulking Lieutenant, but you weren’t made Colonel for your talents in stepping down.
“You forget that I outrank you,” you challenge, chin raised and eyes flinty. “And that I saved your mutt.”
“We don’t have a feckin’ dog,” Soap starts, but when he sees the way Ghost side eyes him, and how you give him an unimpressed look, his jaw drops. “Ye bastard! Shoulda killed ya –”
Rodolfo’s hand wraps around Soap’s forearm, the grumbling man twisting in his hold, but not putting up anything close to a fight. “She’s just stirring you up, hermano,” Rodolfo placates, his large eyes meeting yours with a hint of respect in them. It has you straightening your spine, and your resolve.
“We sort this out as equals,” you state, folding your arms over your chest and bucking your hip. Ghost doesn’t, for a single second, shift your mutual eye contact. “And you will all tell me what the fuck’s going on – and what we’re doing.”
“Alejandro,” Ghost quips, sharp and to the point. Finally, you think, his near-black eyes drift to Rodolfo. “We need him back.”
“He’s the only other lad we can trust out there,” Soap adds, his pout easing slightly. Rodolfo finally drops his hand, clapping it hard against the petulant man’s shoulder with a firm nod.
“Already got a head start, hermanos,” he gestures for the three of you to follow him further into the room, before his calculating eyes glance back at you, “y hermana.”
It’s an unknown, entirely different feeling that erupts inside of your chest at the inclusion. Rodolfo was clearly the most soft spoken man of the three, but he had an intelligence to him that you couldn’t wait to unpack. And he trusted you. Or so you had gathered, anyway.
However.
First things first.
“...Where’s Alejandro? I thought he was Mexican Special Forces?” It was, admittedly, a unique kind of embarrassing – how out of the loop you felt, considering you were a colonel under Graves’ command. You’d heard the man’s name before, but it was usually just paired with barracks gossip and warnings to steer clear. Some joke about how the only one who could kill Alejandro, was the soldier himself.
Moving along with Rodolfo, you’re surprised when it’s Soap who supplies you the answer.
“Your fuckwit of a Commander’s got ‘im,” he curses, the words grating and harsh. Deserved, of course it was deserved, yet it was still odd hearing such disrespect for the man of whom you’d idolised for so long.
Of whom you’d given everything.
Switching a light on, Rodolfo stops in front of a large table, a map laid out across the top of it. Your eyes go wide at the intricacies – focusing as the man leans over and presses a finger towards a highlighted spot, watching the three of you where you stand on the other side. Dust floats near the source of the lamp, and the scent of grime hits you a moment later, a familiar thing.
“Graves is holding him here,” Rodolfo explains, his previously mischievous expression settling into a firm, military-grade frown.
“His own personal black site prison,” Soap scoffs, subconsciously flexing his fingers around the straps of his vest. His focus is utterly devoted to the map in front of him, but his anxiety shows itself through the tiniest of movements.
Rubbing his spare hand down his face, Rodolfo lets out a long, strewn-out sigh. “My men are locked in there, too.”
“Then let’s get them back,” you supply with a small shrug when all eyes shoot your direction.
“That’s obvious, lass,” Soap says, lacking any hint of his previous vitriol when he looks around the room. “How we get ‘em back is the question.”
“By breaking in,” Ghost answers, the retort as simple as breathing.
If you weren’t so receptive to body movements, to the smallest of expressions, you’d’ve missed it. Even then, you doubted that anyone could miss how Soap’s eyes soften when he looks to his Lieutenant, how his breath softly hitches in his throat.
You want to claw out your eyes with a rusty spoon.
By the look on Rodolfo’s face, he feels much the same – until he catches you staring, and then his face twists into something much more cryptic. Like a man trying to solve a puzzle without all of the pieces, being forced to jam spares into spots that just won’t fit.
“We need weapons,” you startle out, the words surprising even yourself. You don’t go back on them, don’t even think to. “If we want to stand a fighting chance – we need firepower.”
“Who said you’re with us?” Ghost questions snarkily, but when you go to reply, you find that Rodolfo’s moved to the corner of the room, switching on even more lights, displaying a wrought iron door.
Sliding it open, you feel like a kid on Christmas morning as you take note of the supplies within.
Rodolfo shrugs, but the small, smug grin on his face doesn’t dispel. “It’s well-stocked. This is Ale we’re talking about.”
The affectionate nickname is something you store away for later. ‘Well-stocked’ is certainly an understatement – guns of all types line the walls within the room, all types of bombs and grenades along with it.
“Alright,” Ghost huffs out, the closest to appreciative that a man like him can get.
Soap is much more upfront about his joy. “My man!” He laughs, his dimples etched into his features like the light spattering of freckles over his upper cheeks and nose bridge. “We’re gonna need new wheels. Preferably up-armoured.”
Digging into his pocket, Rodolfo pulls out a set of keys, tossing them over to Ghost with relaxed shoulders. Turning, shock must be evident on all of you, because Rodolfo lets out a low chuckle. “Your wish is my command, hermanos y hermana.”
To the far end of the room, within the adjoined stables, is a fully-armoured forward drive of some sort – sleek and black and fucking perfect.
“Alejandro thought of everything,” Ghost admires, and when you look to him, you swear that you can see a hint of hope shining in his darkened eyes. Your heart skips a beat on its own accord, and you’re absorbed by the all-consuming want to pull it out of your chest with your bare hands, just so it never does such a thing again.
“Yeah, he did,” Soap whistles, before turning back around to face your small band of misfits. With a determined grin, he says as if it’s an afterthought, “Let’s go get ‘im.”
With a stern resolve and an even sterner disposition, you walk alongside your newfound teammates, and get ready for the most difficult mission of your military career.
*
When you’d, stupidly, recklessly, decided to play good guy and helps out the 141 and Los Vaqueros, you hadn’t taken into account how you’d be at the bottom of the totem pole.
While the three men you were working alongside were all considerably close, you were an outsider. At that, an outsider who had, only a few hours ago, decided to swap sides from enemy to ally.
Being paired with Ghost is, arguably, the most gut-wrenching job in your life. By the time that Rodolfo finds Alejandro through the CCTV system, you’re nearly entirely covered in dried blood, and your head thumps with a headache.
Not a headache from war – a headache from the fucking twat with a shitty DIY job for a military get-up.
“You’re seriously the worst,” you grit out, wiping off a bit of Shadow blood that’s been sprayed on your cheek. “I seriously can’t fucking believe that any one of your mates can tolerate you.”
“Who needs ‘mates’ when I have my boys?” Ghost quips back, wiping off his bloody dagger onto his vest, before slotting it back into its rightful position on his belt. His ability to blend into the night, even with the prison lights on, is uncanny – the only tell the white of his stitched-in skull.
You mock a disgusted sound, sticking out your tongue. “You sound like a fuckboy.”
“A what?” And, although it sounds nothing like a choke, you’re sure that it’s an instinctual question.
The sound of a helicopter up ahead has the two of you pausing in your tracks, feud coming to a quick halt. Looking up, you struggle to see the vehicle in the black of night, but you manage to spot the slowly circling heli above the prison.
“Ghost, Sweetheart, what’s yer status?” Soap’s voice trickles in through your comms. Ghost glances at you, before he answers on your behalf, ever the control-freak.
“Comin’ your way.”
Falling into step side-by-side, you focus on the wet gravel underneath your feet, avoiding making any communication with the man to your right.
“Copy. We’re on the move,” Soap replies, before Rodolfo cuts in.
“Heads up on the helo,” he warns. You find that you much prefer him over the other two – in fact, under any other circumstance, you could see the two of you becoming good friends. Maybe, if everything goes well, that could be a possibility – a positive in your world of negatives.
“Don’t think we’re in his line of sight,” you respond, double-checking your route and the helicopter's position in the sky. Rodolfo had warned you all, debriefing in the drive here, that helicopters would likely show up at some point.
Minutes pass, with small comms between the lot of you, when you finally spot the familiar figures belonging to the other half of your precarious team. 
Soap and Rodolfo stand at the entrance, before the two turn at the sound of your and Ghost’s footsteps. They both seem to visibly loosen their stiff shoulders, seeing you both uninjured – and if you do the same, you pray that no one notices.
“The door’s locked,” Soap informs you all, gesturing to the steel entrance5.
With a small hum, Rodolfo reaches for the pack on his vest. “We’ll need to breach it,” he explains, but before he can grab a charger, Ghost raises a hand to stop him.
“No, Rudy –” And that is a nickname that you’ll be using later, “Knock.”
Rodolfo seems apprehensive, but he agrees anyway, giving all three of you separate glances. “On me…”
All of you getting into readying positions, Rodolfo knocks on the door, the sound echoing loud enough to have your blood pounding in your ears.
A moment later, a Shadow – one you don’t recall having met – pushes open the door and moves to step outside. However, Rodolfo and Ghost are quick to neutralise him, softly dropping his body to the floor.
Pushing through the entrance, everyone except for you shoot a Shadow dead – clearing the room in less than twenty seconds. It’s impressive, how smoothly run the operation is, considering the lack of proper authority or guidance.
You’re the first to spot some more Shadows moving your way, down the stairs – calling it out. “More Shadows from the second floor – watch out!”
This time, you find yourself the cause of two men falling to the ground, blood pooling underneath their lifeless bodies. Your team doesn't give you time to second guess, to mourn, before they’re encouraging you to follow them up the stairs.
“Ale’s up here, let’s go!” Rodolfo urges, his voice bordering on a kind of desperation reminiscent of a boy enlisting for the first time.
Like expected, Alejandro’s cell is down the hall, sat to the far right. Two Shadows guard the steel door, but Soap and Rodolfo are quick to light them up, successfully clearing the entire two floors. You’re ashamed of how relieved you feel, being gifted the small mercies of not having to kill your previous subordinates, unless necessary.
You feel, more than see, Ghost’s heavy gaze on you. When you look back up from the gun in your hands, however, he’s turned completely away – and if you were a less accurate person, you’d have thought you were imagining things.
“There’s Alejandro’s cell.” Stopping at the steel door, Rodolfo adjusts his grip on the gun, before giving you an encouraging jerk of his head. “Open it up, me and Soap will cover you.”
Another small mercy, you think, as Ghost reaches into his backpack and pulls out a set of bolt cutters, regarding you stiffly. “When I pop this lock, you push in,” he directs you curtly, and you bite back a retort. You knew the process like the back of your hand – you had no need for an explanation.
The ‘especially from him’ goes unsaid.
With precise, practised movements, Ghost positions the bolt cutters, and pushes open the door.
As soon as you take one step into the cell, a large hand wraps around the back of your neck, slamming your face into the concrete wall, a blinding pain shooting through your retinas. Letting out a small yelp, your chest rattles as your hands wildly raise in an imitation of surrender.
“Alejandro! Let go of ‘er! It’s us!” Soap calls out, and you swallow unhealthy amounts of air. That hit had taken more out of you than you’d expected – and your harsh breaths were making that incredibly apparent.
The grip on the scruff of your neck slackens when Rodolfo shoots off in quickfire Spanish, “Coronel, relájate, cabron, somos nosotros.”
Your cheek aches and your head pounds as the hand removes itself entirely, allowing for you to take in lungfuls of oxygen.
“Soap, Ghost!” Alejandro bursts out, and as you rise to your feet unsteadily, you watch as he thumps both of them on the back of their shoulders, before turning to Rodolfo with an expression that could only be described as longing. “...Rudy.”
“Didn’t think we’d leave ya, did ye?” Soap chuckles, oblivious to the thread of tension between the two men. 
Whatever silent conversation had occured between the two enforcers is quickly cut as Alejandro accepts the shake of Soap’s hand, a feral grin wide on his features. “What took you so long, pendejos?”
“A traitor with an attitude is what,” Ghost inputs, and really, how much self control can a Lieutenant lack? Wiping at your cheek, you let your hand fall once more to your side as you meet Alejandro’s inquisitive gaze head-on.
“I’m Graves’ previous colonel,” you extend your hand, “And I’m your best bet at getting your base back.”
You expect suspicion, uproar, maybe – or at least questioning, similar to that of Rodolfo’s.
Instead, all you’re met with is Alejandro’s manic smile sharpening, and a slap on the back of your own. Ruffling your hair, he uses his free hand to accept the gun Rodolfo’s extending towards him, shooting you a knowing glance.
“Sounds good, hermana. Welcome to how real men fight.”
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taglist. @lilpothoscuttings @jng-yuan @iruzias @insatiablekittie @1wh4re1nova @kaoyamamegami @supernaturalstilinski @inthemiddle0feverywhere @msecho19 @nogood-boyo @alfa-jor @lalashhyl @letmeapologise @honeybeeznutz @1mawh0re
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rubberduckyrye · 29 days
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Okay in all seriousness. There's something that I REALLY want to talk about as an open discussion with the fandom, but. This is not going to be a very nice thing to hear/talk about.
It's about how Gonta is treated by the fandom.
As a fan of all the V3 characters now, and as someone who has always been a fan of Gonta, and as someone who has many mental disabilities and two diagnosed neurodivergancies... I'm tired of playing nice about it.
You all need to stop being ableist towards Gonta.
I've mentioned in the past that I don't like shitting on personal interpretations. I don't like saying something is or is not canon because narration is just a big web of text that you try to decipher with your own personal biases, experiences, and thoughts. That's why two literary analysts analyzing the same text with the same literary criticism rules can come to wildly different conclusions--why people develop different headcanons from the same canonical information.
But one of the things that challenged my integrity is just how many people view Gonta as this innocent, naive, ignorant, baby boy who can do no harm/never has a complicated/dirty/violent/sexual thought in his life ever.
This incredibly ableist interpretation of the character bothered me for, well, obvious reasons (See: It's fucking ableist, need I say more?) but I never challenged it as harshly as I am now because to be frank, it's not my place to tell people how to HC a character. It still isn't. But I've pretty much given up on my integrity on the subject and have decided to go all in on discussing why this interpretation of Gonta is just. Really bad.
First of all, not to promote my own analyses here or anything, but I think this analysis I did of Gonta explains a LOT in regards to the ableism the cast gives him in canon. I also think that this subtle ableism is why the fandom is so bad with Gonta's characterization in headcanons and fanfic--because they've seen how the cast treats him, and they think it's normal. They don't see the microaggressions, they don't see the subtle ableism in the cast--they just see this big giant idiot who speaks like Tarzan in the English version (which... I don't actually know why people assume Tarzan (Thinking of Disney's version) is stupid. Like as a boy he had to reinvent the spear with no one to guide him on how to do it. He was able to strategize and outsmart "civilized" men in the final showdown. Still I digress) and don't see the literal genius behind his social awkwardness.
There is also another very important point I'm going to make in addition to this, and it's going to be very uncomfortable to Gonta fans who insist he's nothing but a sweet baby who only has pure thoughts. Especially to the fans who insist he "can't be sexual" or think it's weird to ship him with his peers.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but... Gonta blatantly has sexual desire and gets horny right in canon.
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This is further clarified here:
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It wasn't a matter of Gonta didn't want to touch her because touching someone in their underwear was inappropriate, or being flustered because she was in her underwear which is inappropriate...
It was literally a "weird feeling" that made him unable to approach her or touch her. A "weird feeling" that Miu makes pretty obvious as to what it was--sexual arousal.
He literally was sexually attracted to and felt sexual arousal from looking at Miu in her underwear. He had sexual feelings and thoughts about Miu. Why?
Because Gonta is a young man.
Gonta is a brilliant, talented young man who has normal human thoughts for someone his age--sexual desires, upsetting thoughts, complicated thoughts, ectect. He is not a child, he is not mentally stunted (I've been informed that people have literally said this on Ao3 for the NSFW Gonta fics, please for the love of god stop that)
I think the reason why Gonta fans typically want to keep him as a "pure baby child who can do no wrong" is because treating him like the young adult that he is makes it harder for them to justify Chapter 4. Every time I've seen a Gonta fan that hates Kokichi, it's always followed by the sentiment of "Kokichi manipulated and abused Gonta into killing Miu, so it's all Kokichi's fault." They're afraid of nuance and liking a character with the grey morality of genuinely thinking Mercy Killing the cast is a viable option, because it challenges their own morals about the character they adore.
To those people who read this and are upset: You can and should like Gonta! Gonta is a magnificent character who showcases the subtle way microaggressions can manifest and hurt people, he's a good-hearted person and a literal genius, he cares deeply for his friends and loves everyone with upmost sincerity.
But.
You need to re-evaluate your stance on Gonta if you think he's a stupid, naive fool who Kokichi manipulated. You need to re-evaluate why you think those thoughts, why you think Gonta being shipped with anyone is "Kinda weird" or "has weird consent problems" or "give you the ick." You have to challenge yourself and ask yourself uncomfortable questions in regards to why you treat Gonta like a child when canon has proven otherwise, why you think he cannot have violent or sexual thoughts, why he can't think mercy killing his class is the only way to save them.
This isn't an attack on you--but understand that these specific takes on Gonta? They are ableist in nature. They belittle and dismiss him, they treat him like a child, an idiot who can't think for himself--and you have to come to terms with the fact that Gonta is a far more complex character with complicated thoughts and feelings who is a young adult. Not a child. A young adult.
So again, ask yourself this: Why are you treating this young adult like he's a toddler?
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joelscruff · 1 year
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feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART FOUR
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previous chapters | kofi | ok babes, lemme preface this chapter by saying i'm not exactly sure how i feel about it. i wanted it to be longer and i wanted more things to happen but this week has simply been a clusterfuck for me and i wanted to at least get something out to you guys cause you deserve it. i hope yall like sexting and phone sex cause that's all this part really consists of, so if that's not your thing i'm sorry and i hope the next part will be more enjoyable for you. thanks for bearing with me 💕 chapter summary: joel is busy with work but that doesn't mean there aren't other things you can do without being in the same room. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: age difference (reader is in her 20s, joel in his 50s), innocent/inexperienced reader, corruption, praise kink (joel calls reader babygirl, sweetheart, etc), dirty talk, mentions of religion (reader’s family are very catholic), sexting, phone sex, mutual masturbation word count: 4.2k ao3
Now that you have Joel's phone number, it's ridiculously difficult not to text him constantly, especially considering he hasn't reached out since his first initial response. You'd replied to his first message with a heart emoji, something you'd almost immediately regretted but have had to come to peace with. You manage to keep yourself busy for most of the day, reminding yourself that he's at work and probably doesn't have time to be texting some shy and inexperienced college girl. It's not like you're in a relationship or anything; you've known the man for three days.
"Three days," you whisper to yourself, settled in your favorite spot in the backyard, near the pool. Three days and he already has his claim on you, the ghost of his touch still peppered all over your skin. You'd put on a bathing suit in case you decided to go for a swim, but also because you wanted an excuse to look at your body again, look at where his hands had been.
It's been so rare for you to ever look at yourself the way you do now, the way Joel has taught you to. You were almost ashamed of having a body to begin with, embarrassed by your legs, your breasts, and especially what lay inside your underwear. You'd been raised to view them all as taboo, despite them all literally being a part of you. The swimsuit you wear now isn't necessarily the sexiest thing, just a black one-piece you'd bought at the beginning of the summer with modesty in mind, but you find yourself feeling different in it, more confident. Mr. Miller likes this body. I like this body.
Your phone buzzes near your head and you scramble to reach for it, pushing your sunglasses down your nose and peering down at the screen. Disappointment floods you when you see it's just from your mom, but your eyebrows raise in curiosity when you read the contents of the message:
Will be home after your father. Don't tell him about Mr. Miller.
Your mother? Asking you to keep a secret? It's probably one of the most uncharacteristic things she's ever done; you have to read the message a second time to make sure you're understanding correctly. Why doesn't she want your dad to know? He was the one who'd attempted to defend Joel in the first place, wasn't he?
Almost like she knows you're going to question her logic, another messages comes in a few seconds later:
I will tell him on my own.
Interesting.
You swipe back to your "conversation" with Joel and feel your heart flutter at his one-word reply. God, you really are insatiable. You wonder what he's doing right now; lifting heavy things? Ordering people around? You certainly know that he's good at telling people what to do...
Your skin warms at the thought and you quickly shake it away, tossing your phone back into the grass and taking a few steps toward the pool. You plunge into the cold water just to soothe the hot ache you already feel between your legs.
--
Dinner is normal, although the secret hanging in the air between you and your mother isn't lost on you by any means. You definitely didn't get your ability at keeping secrets from her; she's flustered, quiet as she chews her meatloaf and awkwardly questions your father about his day. He doesn't notice anything is amiss though, just scarfs down his food and mutters something about paperwork before disappearing into his office.
"Why don't you want me to tell Dad?" you whisper as you help her do the dishes, watching as she scrubs a plate unnecessarily hard.
"Because," she hisses, eyes darting to his closed office door in the hallway, "Your father will want to ask him over for dinner again and I am not having a repeat of what happened last time." She makes a face at the thought of Joel's previous insult, "If we're going to help this man find his faith we have to take things slow, just like you said. I'll tell your father when the time is right."
You're at a loss for words at the way your lie has somehow already wormed itself into your mother's brain without a shadow of a doubt. She's genuinely convinced you're trying to do the right thing, turn Joel Miller into a God fearing Catholic. It makes you uncomfortable to think about how your lie has already gotten this deep; for a moment you briefly consider calling the whole thing off, changing the story, maybe even telling the truth.
And then your phone buzzes in your pocket.
"Whatever you say," you reply quickly, drying the last plate and backing away, "Um, I'm gonna go read in my room for a bit."
--
How was your day?
The text makes your heart positively soar as you flop onto your bed again like you had this morning, bringing your phone to your face and grinning like an idiot. He didn't forget about you.
boring. i missed you.
You don't care if you come across as clingy; it's how you feel. Your heart does stutter a bit when you hit send but all nervousness fades when he responds just as quickly:
Missed you too, angel.
You swallow around the sudden lump in your throat, heart pounding when his little speech bubble appears again to show that he's typing something else:
What did you do?
went swimming
What an image to put in my head.
You smile, feeling your cheeks warm. Your face falls however at his next message:
What did you wear?
You grimace, eyeing the ridiculously modest swimsuit hanging off your desk chair, still damp from earlier. Should you be honest or come up with a white lie, put a different image in his head? No, you've already lied enough for one day.
a one piece but i don't like it. it's not very me.
I'll buy you a new one. Tell me what you like.
He'd really do that? You bite your lip and weigh the options in your mind, thinking about the lingerie on those mannequins this morning, the things your roommates back at college wear. You want something you'll feel different in, something that makes you feel more like this sexy version of yourself Joel is helping you discover.
bikini. maybe pink or blue?
You got it. Maybe you can give me another fashion show.
You feel a surge of excitement, of intrigue. You'd wondered at the mall what kind of clothes Joel would want to see you in... he'd loved the dresses this morning - especially the white one - so you can't help but wonder what kind of swimsuit he'll choose for you. You're not completely sheltered; you know there are different types of bikinis. One of your friends had worn a micro sling bikini for Halloween last year as a part of her costume for a party she was attending - you'd taken one look and decided you weren't going.
Would Joel pick a bikini like that for you? The thought makes you feel a bit queasy, suddenly unsure if you'd even want to wear something like that. You want to look good for him but you don't want to sacrifice everything about yourself to do it. You stare at his message, wishing he wasn't just words on a screen right now.
where are you?
At a bar with my crew. But I'd much rather be wherever you are right now, babygirl.
You relax a bit into your sheets at the pet name; the word hasn't even come directly from his mouth but it has you acting like it has. Your body goes loose, that familiar throbbing starting up again in your underwear. You cross your legs and duck underneath the covers to type your reply:
i'm in my bed. i wish you were here
And what do you wish I was doing?
You stare at the text for a moment, biting down hard on your lip and trying to think of exactly how to articulate your thoughts in the best way. You've never done this before, never said or typed dirty things to somebody else. You figure texting is as good a medium as any to finally practice.
i wish you were playing with my pussy
The throbbing gets worse as you type the words. You cross your legs a bit tighter when you hit send, already nervous about what he'll say back. He doesn't waste much time.
You like when I play with your pussy, don't you?
Your cheeks warm as you sink even further beneath your blankets, legs parting slowly. You reach down to pop the button on your jeans, slowly typing out a response with one hand:
yes
The zipper of your jeans is down within seconds, your right hand carefully slipping past the open material and sliding down to cup where you're aching over your underwear. Your phone vibrates again and you hear a small whimper slip past your lips.
And you liked having those big fingers deep in there huh?
yes. it felt so good.
So full, right baby?
You circle your clit slowly with your index finger, mouth popping open at his words. The memory of the way his fingers felt inside of you, the way they'd pushed and prodded you so deep...
really full.
I'll do it again real soon, angel. Promise.
You whimper again, still tracing your pussy through your panties. Your brow furrows when the next message comes in a few seconds later:
I gotta head back now but I'll call you later. Stay up for me, don't fall asleep.
You frown. Oh well, you've gotten off without him a few times so far, what's one more time? You watch as the bubble indicating he's typing again pops up.
And don't touch that pretty pussy until I tell you.
Your hand freezes and you feel your lips turn into a pout despite the fact that he can't even see you.
:(
XO
"Meanie." you murmur at your phone, taking your hand out of your pants and tilting your head back to stare at your ceiling. You look down at the message again and can't help but feel your lips upturn; he's going to call you later... maybe meanie is too strong a word.
--
You prepare a little too much for your late-night phone call with Joel.
You take a long bath, soothing and relaxing with some lit candles and quiet music, all the while returning to your previous mental state of pretending you don't have anything between your legs. You're just a barbie doll down there, you tell yourself dubiously, there's nothing to touch or feel. That wishful thinking doesn't last very long however when you find yourself re-reading Joel's texts and feeling your pussy begin to pulse again under the water.
After your bath you comb carefully through your hair, counting each stroke to pass the time. You apply more lotion to your skin than you could ever need and then change into a pair of pajamas, just some simple sleep shorts and a t-shirt. You wonder what Joel would think of your old nightdresses, the ones you used to wear when you were a kid, still folded away in your dresser but probably much shorter and more revealing now. You take a quick peek at an old yellow one, lacy and faded; it practically smells of innocence and the bright eyed Jesus loving girl you once were, and you find yourself feeling sad. You shut it away again.
By the time you're freshly bathed and in bed your parents have already said goodnight and are settled in their bedroom down the hall. All you can do is lay back against your pillows and wait for Joel to call.
Nine o'clock passes; you decide to read for a little bit.
Ten o'clock; no big deal, you turn on the TV and quietly watch the beginning of a movie.
Eleven o'clock; you're about halfway into the movie now, feeling sleepy but still checking your phone every few minutes.
Twelve o'clock; the movie ends but you don't pay much attention to the conclusion, staring anxiously at your phone and waiting for it to light up. But still nothing.
It's almost one when you finally begin to face the reality of the situation. He never gave you a specific time, just said he'd call later, but how much later did he mean? Maybe he's already home now, in bed and asleep. He's probably forgotten that he even said he'd call. You're not that important. You're just some kid.
Tears well in your eyes when you finally turn off your bedside lamp and shuffle further beneath the covers, still staring at your phone. Please call, you think pathetically to yourself, or even text. Just do something.
You fall asleep with your phone gripped tightly in your hand.
--
You wake up to a light buzzing sound and sensation, your eyes squeezing together in confusion. You open them blearily and find yourself facing your bedside clock; 2:23am. It takes a few seconds for you to register that the buzzing is coming from your phone, and when you look down at the screen and see the name Mr. Miller, your eyes go wide. You answer it immediately.
"Hello?" you whisper, burying yourself under the covers again and trying to be as quiet as possible.
"Hey, babygirl," he says softly on the other side, his southern drawl melting smoothly into your ear, "I wake you up?"
"Y-yeah," you mumble, still blinking your eyes and trying to get some alertness back, "Sorry, I know you told me not to fall asleep."
He chuckles and it's the most beautiful sound, charming and gentle, "That's okay, sweetheart. I got back much later than I thought I would, it's my fault," you hear him grunt a little bit, like he's settling onto his couch (or his bed?), "You stay up long waitin' for me?"
You bite your lip, "Um, maybe."
"Aw, baby, I'm sorry," he murmurs, "Poor thing, you must be so sleepy."
"M'not," you say, but your voice betrays you.
"Shh," he whispers, "You go back to sleep, we'll try this again tomorrow."
You try to sit up but you're still half asleep and the blankets are so warm and inviting, "No," you say quickly, "No, I wanna talk to you. I've been waiting."
You can hear the smile in his voice when he replies, "God, you're so fuckin' sweet," he inhales deeply, "What I wouldn't give to have you in my bed right now, angel... all curled up and comfy in my arms."
You smile, eyes closing again as you settle back into the blankets and listen to his voice, "I want that." you murmur.
"I know you do," his voice is so soft and soothing in your ear, almost like a lullaby, "You want so many things with me, don't you?"
"Mm hm," you agree softly, "All of it."
"All of it." he repeats thoughtfully.
The line goes quiet for a moment, both of you just listening to each other breathe evenly. You know you should say something else, try and wake yourself up, but the longer you lie there with the phone to your ear the more tired you seem to be getting.
"Did you touch your pussy, babygirl?" he finally asks, voice still barely a whisper.
Your heart stutters, "No," you reply just as quietly.
"Good girl."
You hum at his praise, melting further into your pillow. You listen as he breathes slowly on the other end. You're starting to drift off again, you can feel it.
"I've got an early start tomorrow," he says softly, "But how 'bout I call you around seven or so, before I leave?"
"Yes," you whisper, "Please."
He laughs quietly, "Okay, sweetheart, you go back to sleep now," he exhales and seems to settle into his bed, just like you, "Sweet dreams."
"'Night," you mumble softly, leaving him to end the call as you fade quickly back to sleep.
--
You don't make the same mistake you made last night; you wake up promptly at six thirty and make sure you stay awake, washing your face and getting dressed for the day. You hear the shower going in your parents room and hope that miraculously both of them will have already left by the time Joel calls you.
No such luck. You can hear them both bustling around in the kitchen when your phone starts to buzz, and you quietly tiptoe back to bed and yank the covers up over yourself, hoping it'll muffle your conversation.
"Hi," you whisper.
"Mornin'", Joel replies; you can hear a smile in his voice, "Why are you whisperin'?"
You grimace, "My parents are still here."
"Ahh, the same parents who think I'm your guitar teacher, right?"
You bring a hand up to your face in embarrassment, "Oh my god, I forgot I told you that."
He chuckles, "So we're sneakin' around, huh? That what's happenin'? Is this gonna end with me gettin' shot?"
Your eyes widen, "I hope not!"
He laughs again, louder this time, "I'm kiddin', babygirl, don't worry. But you're an adult, you don't need their permission to see me."
"I know that, but as long as I'm under their roof they have rules, and I gotta follow them. Plus..." you make a face, "My mom doesn't like you."
He snorts, "Yeah, I figured."
"I kind of told her that um... that I'm... well..."
"What?"
"That I'm teaching you about God," you close your eyes, feeling your skin burn, "That you borrowed my hymn book and you're gonna help me learn how to play some of them."
There's complete silence on the line after you speak and for a moment you're scared he's hung up. You pull the phone away from your ear and look down at the screen; the call is still active. You bring it back up and he finally says something.
"Jesus, you're naughty," he mutters, voice suddenly dark, rough, "Lyin' about all that, just to see me?"
You swallow, "Y-yeah."
"Naughty," he repeats, "Naughty girl."
Another beat of silence. Then-
"Are you in bed?"
"Yes."
"Take off your panties."
You don't need telling twice, you're already throbbing just from hearing his voice change. You hold your phone against your ear with your shoulder and make quick work of hiking up your dress and tugging your panties down your legs.
"They're off," you whisper, voice shaky.
"Rub your clit," he says immediately, and you hear the unmistakable sound of his belt jangling on the other end, "'Til your pussy's all wet."
Is he...? He must be. You swallow tightly and do as he says, trying to focus on the task at hand and not on the fact that he's most certainly touching his cock right now while he talks to you. Getting wet isn't much of a challenge; as soon as your finger touches your clit you can already feel yourself start to drip.
"I'm wet." you whimper, rubbing your clit slowly.
"Already?" his voice is almost pained.
"Is it...is it weird that I get wet so easily?"
"No," he says immediately and you can almost visualize him shaking his head, "No, it's good. It's just 'cause you're so new to all of it," he groans, low and husky, "Fuck, I can't get enough of you."
You whimper again at his words, rubbing yourself a bit quicker and biting down on your lip. You can still hear the dull sounds of your parents from the kitchen below; you have to be quiet.
"Put a finger inside," Joel murmurs on the other end of the line, rough and scratchy, "Deep as you can go."
You bite down on your lip harder as you carefully push your index finger inside yourself, brow furrowing at the sensation. It's certainly nothing like having Joel's fingers in there and you immediately want to add another one, get that full feeling back.
"Push it in and out," he continues, "With me now, in..." you hear a dull slap, "And out," you follow along, eyes becoming hooded as you listen to what is most certainly Joel jacking himself off, "In....and out..."
He's pretending he's inside you. The thought alone is enough to make you moan, and you have to bring your other hand up to cover your mouth as you fuck yourself along to his pace. You add a second without being asked, whimpering pitifully into the phone and spreading your legs wider.
"Oh, babygirl," he whispers, "Those sounds you make..." he groans, low and deep, "Two fingers now, sweetheart."
"I'm already using two," you admit, still pumping them in and out; he groans again, even louder.
"Jesus Christ," he mutters, "Three then, baby. Add your third, that's it." You hear another slap of skin and the sound is enough to make your orgasm begin to build in your belly. You wish he was here with you, holding you, touching you.
"I wish you were inside me," you find yourself whispering, voice shaky and pathetic.
He groans again, "Which part of me, sweetheart? My fingers?"
You shake your head, "No."
"Say it."
"Your cock," you whimper, chest heaving as you feel yourself getting closer and closer, "I want your cock inside me."
"Fuck," his voice is even deeper in your ear, almost like he's right there next to you, "I know you do, angel. Want it so fucking deep, don't you?"
You nod ferociously despite the fact that he can't see you, plunging your three fingers in and out steadily and feeling your legs begin to shake, "Yes, Mr. Miller," you whimper, "I need it."
"You do need it," he groans, "You need this cock, babygirl. Can't believe you never had one before, can't stop thinkin' about it," the slapping is getting faster, louder.
"I wanted it so bad last night," you keen, eyebrows scrunching together in pleasure, "And when you didn't call, I thought maybe-"
"Oh, babygirl," he groans, "Don't think like that, don't ever-" he lets out a deep grunt, almost like a whimper, "Don't think for one second that I don't think about you, about that pussy. Can't wait to be inside you. Gonna fuck you so good, so right," he grunts, his voice becoming more and more strained, "Gonna be so deep inside that sweet little hole, you're gonna feel it in your fuckin' stomach."
Holy fuck. He's never talked this much before, never said things this filthy or graphic. It's too much for you to handle all at once, pussy tightening around your fingers as his words bring you over the edge.
"I'm coming," you manage to squeak out, then slap your hand back down on your mouth as you shake and writhe under the blankets, moaning pitifully into your hand and praying your parents don't hear you.
Joel doesn't tell you he's coming but the slapping sound suddenly comes to a complete stop, and the next thing you know he's groaning loudly in your ear, breathy and rough. You listen to him, closing your eyes and letting his sounds invade your whole body as you come, wrapping around you like another warm blanket. You've never heard him make sounds like this, depraved and guttural and loud. You can only imagine what he looks like right now, what his cock looks like. You know what happens when men come, you know about ejaculation, but the thought of Joel doing that... right now...
"Mmmhmmm," you moan into your hand and feel your eyes roll back, picturing Joel laying in his bed, hand around his cock, "Oh...fuck..." you fuck yourself with your fingers until it's too much, until the sensations are borderline painful. You move your hand away from your pussy and squeeze down on your thigh, trying to get your legs to stop shaking.
There's a few moments of heavy breathing where neither of you speak, both of you coming down from your orgasms and trying to catch your breaths. You open your legs wider and lay there like a starfish, eyes closed, chest heaving. You hear the door slam downstairs, followed by the sound of your father getting in his police car and your mother getting in her SUV.
"My parents just left." you mutter, still breathless.
Joel chuckles softly, "Think they heard you?"
You shake your head, "No way, they'd have already broken down my door if they had any idea what's going on up here."
He laughs again, "Hold on a sec, let me clean myself up here a bit."
You can't help but smile at the image of Joel being vulnerable like that, having to clean up his own mess instead of yours. You shiver at the thought and slowly sit up in bed, body heavy and sated.
"That was... a lot," you say softly, still trying to even out your breaths, "All that... that stuff you said."
You hear the concern in his voice immediately, "Was it too much?"
"No," you say immediately, shaking your head, "No, not at all. I just..." you feel your cheeks burn, "I wasn't expecting....I didn't realize how much you thought about doing that."
"Doin' what?" you can almost hear his smirk.
"...Fucking me," you whisper it, even though your parents are gone, "Putting your...putting your cock in me."
He groans again, softer this time, "I'll be honest, darlin'. It was all I thought about yesterday at work. And it's all I'm gonna be thinkin' about today."
You shiver, lips turning up in a pleased smile, "Really?"
"Really, sweetheart. And I know we're takin' it slow, and that's okay, but fuck if I don't think about how that pussy's gonna feel around me..." he groans again and you feel the undeniable sensation of yourself getting wet again; insatiable.
"What if...what if it doesn't fit?" you ask quietly, unsure just like yesterday, "I know you said we'll make it fit but..."
"It'll fit," he reassures you tenderly, "Don't worry, sweetheart. We'll go real slow, I'll be real gentle, and you just take it," he takes a breath, slow and steady, "You were made to take it, babygirl."
You hear yourself whimper softly, closing your eyes and turning your head into your pillow. God, you could listen to him talk to you like this for hours, just telling you everything he wants to do to you, everything he wants to teach you...
"When can I see you again?" you whisper.
"Well, that's what we need to figure out now, isn't it?" you can hear the hint of a smile in his voice, "When are these guitar lessons gonna take place?"
You wince, sitting up a bit in bed and leaning back against your pillows, "So you're okay with that? With me lying, I mean?"
"If that's what you feel you need to do, then it's okay," he says, and you can tell he means it, "I will probably have to actually teach you some guitar, though."
"I don't mind," you reply with a smile, remembering the way his hands had felt on yours when he'd first shown you those chords, the way you'd settled between his legs and he'd held you so close to him, "...As long as you teach me in your bed."
"Fuck," he murmurs, voice going dark again, "You are a naughty girl, aren't you?"
You can't help but smirk, "It's starting to seem that way, yeah."
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juvenillia · 6 months
Text
~ under my skin ~ John 'Soap' MacTavish x fem!reader [fluff/smut oneshot]
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Summary: Johnny never wanted any more tattoos. Memories and people were more important to him than a little sketch on his skin. He didn't need those to be reminded of what he hold dear, because he kept all that in his heart. This opinion somehow changed when he met you and suddenly he found himself with five fresh tattoos that meant the world to him. Because these five tattoos reminded him of something he wanted to stay for eternity. The ink holding a meaning deeper than the bare eye could ever see.
a/n: this one was supposed to be a sweet short oneshot about Johnny falling for his tattoo artist but somehow it escalated very quickly and it could've been even longer but I stopped right there (for now)
tw/cw: tattooartist!reader, needles (ofc), tooth rotting fluff, smut, suggestive content, petnames, mentions of a past toxic relationship, flirting, mentions of angst, violence (but only the slightest, this is pure fluff), bestfriend!simon, comfort, love at first sight, pinning
wordcount: 10.4k [upps]
》 Read on AO3 《 》 Masterpost 《
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„C’mon Lt. Tell me,” Johnny bragged him for the millionth time today. They just arrived back at base after a draining operation, but as soon as Soap could turn his work brain off, he only had one thought on his mind. For three weeks there was one thing circling his thoughts and he had to pay a lot of effort to shove this one aside during the mission. Therefor he had no intentions in holding back anymore now. Three weeks ago, that was the actual day his world took a sudden turn.
Simon and he had to go undercover through London. Following a trace of a Russian insider who would lead them to their actual target. Nothing unusual. Something the 141 was used to it. Also, it wasn’t that uncommon that their trace led them to a well crowded area, where they needed to observe and find the target person. Usually, it would’ve been Gaz and Price going undercover, or some more rarely even Soap and Gaz, because they were simply the most unobtrusive, but this place literally screamed for Simon and Johnny to go. It was a tattoo convention. A place where numerous of eager artist presented their skills and works. A place where you found the most eccentrical looks. No one would bat an eye about the behemoth of a man Simon was, plus he already had numerous of tattoos covering his body. While Johnny on the other hand seemed to be just the guy looking for some new ones, next to his quite discreet one. They just blended in perfectly in between the many kinds of humans strolling through these halls.
That way they walked through the halls, keeping their eyes open to find their target. Price and Gaz stayed in touch with them over the comms, observing everything from afar, watching their six for just in case. They looked through all the booths, looked at every artist they could find. They didn’t know much about their actual target, only that he frequented a specific tattoo artist with a unique style. “Find the artist, find the man,” Laswell’s words echoed through Johnny’s head as he scanned through a portfolio of the booth he just stopped by. The works looked all perfectly made, with an amazing eye to details and such fine lines. Some medals and trophies placed next to their winning projects decorating the desk. If he ever would get another tattoo, he’d be sure to find an artist with that level of skill. Still, he really wasn’t into getting another one. Never found something with enough meaning to stay with him forever. In his job most of things were just temporally and those who weren’t, those were kept in his heart. No need to ink them into his skin. He absently browsed through the pictures of various body parts decorated with stunning grey and black artworks. His mind keeping track on the conversation Price and Ghost just shared when Johnny’s eyes just locked onto a picture of a back piece with which he was somehow familiar with.
“Something caught your interest?” a soft female voice dragged him out of his haze, but Soap only shook his head no. Closing the booklet in front of him as his eyes wandered slowly upwards to be met with a pair of bright eyes. Some of the prettiest he had ever seen sparkled into his own. Usually, he’d bring out a cheeky comment, a bold smile on his lips. But as his clear azure eyes stared into yours, no words left his throat. He was frozen in place, completely smitten. You gifted him one of your sweetest smiles, which just grew wider when you noticed another man behind the speechless Scot. “Simon!” you cried out, eagerly rounding the desk to give the man a quick hug, which he returned, somehow a bit tense. Johnny only blinked in disbelief at the two of you.
“Hey…” Simon gave your shoulder a quick pat before his eyes met Johnny’s. A warning hidden in his glare, something the Scot haven’t seen so often aimed at himself. Mostly at enemies while interrogation, but nearly never at himself. It made him swallow, before he calmed himself.
“I hope you aren’t looking for a replacement,” you teased while taking his beefy arm into your hand. Inspecting his tattoo sleeve, or better said your work from a few weeks ago. Letting your delicate fingers follow the black lines down to his wrist. Perfectly healed before he had to leave for deployment again. You always made sure he came as early as possible so that your art wouldn’t get destroyed.
“Why should I leave ‘e best?” he nudged you with his elbow, only the slightest, before you let go of his wrist. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants. His eyes pinned at your figure. Softer than Johnny was used to it.
“Well, won’t argue with that.” You laughed, while pushing your hands into your hips. You wore a simple pair of black cargo pants. Pockets stuffed full of necessities for the day. Your phone, your vape, some little snacks, some business cards, a pocket mirror and your favorite lipstick, a small ring light for your phone, and stuff you could need at a convention. Headphones loosely hanging around your neck connected to your phone, and the crew tag hanging loose from your belt around your hips, where your shirt was neatly tugged into your pants. The simple shirt revealing your own tattoos on your arms. “Besides…” your voice got that teasing, nearly mocking tone again. “I’d kick your ass for cheating on me.” You punched his upper arm playfully. Knowing that you could never even cause him pain. That’s why he was one of your favorite customers, you could just pull through an eight-hour session without him growing tired or whiney. He would just sit it out, listening to your tea, sharing a quick smoke in between.
“’m sure ya do, sweetheart.” He smiled softly beneath the casual black mask. He just got dragged out of this private comfort as Johnny cleared his throat a bit too dramatic for Simon’s liking. “That’s John by the way.” A sigh left his throat as he pointed at his teammate who eagerly stepped forward to you.
“Friends call me Johnny though.” His smile reached his eyes as he reached his hand out to you and you took it, shaking it with a smile. Eventually his thumb brushed over your knuckles during the process.
“Pleasure to meet you. Heard already a lot,” you cooed, squeezing your eyes shut while crossing your arms in front of your chest. Johnny’s smile faltered for a second, thinking about the things his Lieutenant could’ve told you already. Hopefully nothing too embarrassing he thought. Just then you told him your name before he repeated it quietly. Letting its sound roll over his tongue, the same smile from earlier on his lips.
“Would love to chat with ya more, y’know, but...” Simon interrupted the scenery in front of him. His glance searching for the blue ones of his teammate, sending him a knowing glance. “work…,” he said in his usual stern manner but still calm. You only nodded your head.
“And I thought you would drop by to say hi. I’m violated, Riley.” You faked a shocked face before a chuckle left your throat. Simon’s glance softened at your statement. “My work’s also waiting.” You pointed to a guy with a naked upper body half and half-finished chest piece. “Some awards to bring home you know.” You smiled smug patting your flat palm against his chest. Simon only nodded; his brows relaxed.
Johnny couldn’t suppress his bright smile the whole time, his eyes watching every move you made. It amazed him how much at ease you were with Ghost, because Soap knew it took a lot for him to be comfortable around people. Especially civilians. But Johnny couldn’t blame him, you already got him hooked as well. That’s when something clicked in his head.  “Wait a sec.” He pulled a picture out of his jacket. Simon tensed, as the Scot moved to show you said image. “Yer recognizing that style?” his voice was serious but somehow, he couldn’t suppress the adoration beneath it.
“Johnny…” Simon instantly had a scolding tone lingering in his voice. He knew from the beginning that he could’ve asked you about that specific artist. He knew you were quite known in the scene, having contacts everywhere, but he didn’t want you to get involved in all that his life was. Yes, he told you a few things about it. Especially when getting his own dog tags inked under his skin. You knew about some things he didn’t like to talk about. Especially when you decided to grab some dinner after a session, and he grew more comfortable around you. And with that he grew to become one of your closest friends. You knew many things about the ghost he was. You knew that his job was bone crushing and bloody. Still, he didn’t want you to get corrupted by it.
You ignored Simon and took the picture out of the Scot hands. Your eyes lingering on his forearm for a while - you called it occupational disease – before you investigated the work in the picture. It was nothing special for the unknown eye, but you saw anything that wasn’t traditional made. You saw every line that had a personal note in it. “Check out Mad Hatters studio, Misha I suppose. Could also be Sasha, he did learn from Misha though,” you stated while still looking at the picture.
“Thanks, bonnie.” Johnny’s tongue was faster than his mind as he once more caught himself starring at you. You looked at him, your face relaxed again. Your features were like a flame, warming him up from the inside as himself became a moth pulled to it all the way.
“Don’t even wanna know what you need from them. Good luck,” you said looking at Simon, who’s brows were ached in concern. You then turned back to Johnny. Your eyes once more clinging to the small piece on his arm. “I could do better.” You winked at him, the smug grin playing on your lips as you gave the picture back to the Scot. It caused Johnny to really start considering getting another one. He was that impulsive, and if there wasn’t that dumb job to get done, he would immediately jump onto your chair. Just to see how you would do it, just to see you more, feeling your delicate fingers running over his skin. Simon watched the scenery with an unsettled rumble in his stomach, as you walked back behind your booth and pulled some black rubber gloves out of the box. Smiling once more at the men in front of you and with a little wave you turned around to get to your model.
“Boys… focus,” Price cleared his throat and scolded them after watching the whole situation a bit longer than he should have in the first place. But still you gave them the needed evidence. You led them to the person they needed. So, the operation could process any further until they found their actual target three weeks later.
 All those incidents leading us back to the day when Johnny didn’t stop to ask his Lieutenant about his tattoo artist. “Why’d ya want to know anyways?” Simon’s Manchester accent was thick as he rolled his eyes. He already knew why the Scot wanted to know. Simon knew that his teammate didn’t want any more tattoos. They had plenty of talks about it. Always when he came with a new one back from leave, Soap told him ‘not up to that Lt’. And suddenly he wanted to know your name and the studio you worked in, or better said own.
“I really want to get that one tattoo…alright. Made up ma mind.” Johnny’s nearly whiney voice pulled at the little strings that made his bag of nerves up. Simon was a patient man, especially when it came to his team. Still, he didn’t want to get you involved with more of his life. Knowing that Johnny would tell you so many stories that wouldn’t be meant for your ears. Knowing you too well, fearing that this could become more. “C’mon Lt. Please. Dinnea let me down!” Simon only rolled his eyes at him and wrote an address down. You could see his hesitation in his handwriting, but Johnny would find out this way or another.
And a few days later Johnny found himself in London, in front of a cozy looking studio. Warm lights inviting him in. A bell jingled sweet as he pushed through the door. The place lovely decorated with plants, fairy lights and some candles. Framed pictures of stunning works along the wall as he walked up to the counter. “One moment.” A familiar voice clung from the back to his ear and made him instantly smile. It was ridiculous how your voice was already imprinted in his brain from such a small encounter. “What a pleasant surprise. How can I help you, Johnny?” you cooed smiling at him. Relaxing your arms on the counter and your body weight on it.
“Well, isn’t it obvious?” his voice was calm as he leaned against the counter, closer to where you placed yourself. “Gonna show me how ye can do better, bonnie.” The smug grin facing your figure. The first time you caught him off guard. This time he prepared himself.
You exhaled sharp, followed by a chuckle. “That’s not how it works, darling.” You reached to your side and pulled a book in front of him. “I have a tightly filled schedule. Didn’t Si told you how I work?” You raised a brow at him. Johnny only shook his head no, while the smile started to falter. Seeing the gloss in his eyes slowly fading made your stomach turn. Why did he affect you so much? “Damn idiot…” you pinched the bridge of your nose. You opened the book and went through the appointments of the next days. “How big you’re planning?” Your eyes scanning through the upcoming projects.
His eyes instantly lighting up again. He was like a puppy that just got told they were going to the park. It was adorable. “Well, as big as it need to be. But upper arm.” He pulled the sleeve of his shirt up to reveal his perfect toned arm and presented the area he thought of as placement. A veiny hand circling around the spot. Your eyes were pinned onto the flexing muscles as you felt a certain warmth creeping up your stomach. It’s not like you didn’t saw well shaped men rarely, but something about John MacTavish was different to say the least.
“Alright.” You slid your phone over. “Put your number in. I’ll see if I can fit you in the next days.” He eagerly took the phone and put his number in. Before you could say something or even snatch it back, he even dialed it to give himself yours. It made you chuckle as you took your phone back. You looked at the contact, there was only ‘johnny’ written with his number of course. “Lastname?”
“Already wanna take it, lass? I like straightforward.” There was that coquettish smile back on his face. His azure eyes staring into yours. “MacTavish, would suit ye though.” He slowly licked over his lips, as his eyes didn’t dare to avert from yours.
“You’d wish.” You typed his last name in. “Johnny is just a really common name, and you don’t want me to call the wrong one. Don’t you?” you teased, still a slight blush on your face. He shook his head no, while straighten himself up.
“Aye, would be a shame.” He placed his hand quickly onto yours which laid on the counter. Giving it a quick squeeze, before leaving again. “Waitin’ for yer call, bonnie.”
That call came like two days later. You managed to rearrange some appointments to clear a day for the Scot. Telling yourself that it was only because he was a friend of Simon. Not because you found quite a liking in the man and his flirtatious manner. So, two days later he was seated in your shop again. Upper half of his body completely stripped. He told you he was more comfortable with wearing no shirt at all, then pushing the sleeve up again and again. Yes, he could’ve just worn a tank-top but who were you to judge? He was quite a treat for the eyes. You just prepped his upper arm with the stencil as he told you a story how he tried to sneak into the military while he wasn’t even old enough.
“Simon was right, you’re unbelievable.” You smiled while smoothing the stencil paper over his arm. He stayed completely still, while his inside was trembling as he felt your delicate touch on his skin. Even with you wearing those gloves it gave him so much to enjoy. Desperate for more already.
“Hope he only told yer good things. Dinnea want ye to think bad of me.” He smiled sincere. His face turned to you, as you slowly removed the paper. It was close to yours, as your glance found his once more. The smile he wore reached his eyes and again you found yourself with the same warmth on your cheeks, your own lips tugged up in a genuine smile.
“Don’t worry. Only the best.” You chuckled while rolling with your stool a bit away to look at the outline of the work. “Take a look, if we can start or if you want to change a thing.” You took a mirror to let him get a proper look at the piece. “Speak now, or forever hold your peace. Because this is going to stay with you for eternity.” You were used to customers completely smitten by the stencil itself, but with Johnny it was different. His eyes were shining bright, as bright as his smile. But his eyes were more pinned on you, and not onto the future piece of art decorating his skin.
“Dinnea think of anything to change. Dae yer thing, bonnie,” he cooed, and it gave you that feeling in your guts again. Somehow you believed he didn’t even care about the tattoo itself. Still, he used something that fitted him perfectly. Well, as perfect as you could assume from Simon’s stories. And the following hours reassured you. With that you started to let the needles sink into his skin for the next seven hours. Black and white ink forming a masterpiece just after your liking while you listened to all the stories Johnny shared eagerly with you. Asking you many questions about your life beside the studio and customers. Asking about your family. You learned that he had two sisters and was really close to them as well to his mum. He shared openly so much information about himself, that you yourself kept talking about everything under the sun.
Sometimes he had to reposition his arm that you could reach a spot better. What led to a half hour of his calloused palm resting on your thigh. He couldn’t help but let his thumb stroke over the fabric of your pants. You’d lie if you said you didn’t enjoy it. With your job it came naturally to be close and kind of touchy-feely with your customers. But it wasn’t so common for you, that it affected you personally. Especially when it came so casually by him. He kept talking about that one time when his teammate, Gaz, fell out of a helicopter. Even if Johnny wasn’t there himself, he told the story so passionately that you believed you were there yourself while his thumb still caressed your thigh. His gently touch making your stomach tingle as you tried to stay focused.
Soon seven hours came to an end and a boar’s head was now engraved onto his upper right arm. Not like the usual animal portrait you so often had to do. No, it was indeed something more meaningful to him. Connecting the pride for his home country to his family, mixed with your personal note to give the tattoo a specific spice. Johnny loved it as he stood proudly in front of the mirror, investigating every line you made.
“It’s fuckin’ perfect. Bonnie, yer the best,” he exhaled while placing a quick peck onto the crown of your head while turning back to the mirror. His gesture left you breathless for only a second. Emotional outbursts after a finished session weren’t something you were unfamiliar with, but Johnny always added another note to his actions and words. A subtle undertone that gave you butterflies.
“Glad you like it.” You smiled putting on another pair of gloves on to clean the piece and wrap it up properly. “You know how to take care of it?” you said calm while placing the second skin onto the fresh wound. Johnny shook his head slightly and it earned him a chuckle. “Alright, the second skin stays on for like five days. If it loosens before, don’t break your pretty head about it. Then you wash it with usual water and cream it with special lotion. I’ll give you some. No gym, nothing to make you sweat more. No sunbathing and no swimming for the next two weeks,” you said reaching to your supplies to get a tube of tattoo med out. “You should drop by then to let me have a look. If we need to improve…redo some things, or if everything heals perfectly fine.”
“Lass could simply ask me out if ye wanna see me again.” He winked while pulling his shirt back on. His eyes never leaving your figure and finding a liking in seeing you all flustered. He was good looking; indeed, he knew the effect he held against woman. But with you it was different. He just wanted you to like him, to look at him like he thought he looked at you. Smitten.
“Not my kinda style.” You shrugged it off. What somehow demotivated the Scot. The whole time you were flirting back and forth with him, and when he discreetly asked you out, you turned so distant. He wouldn’t give up so easily though. Therefore, he was way too eager, but he called it a day. Paying you your loan and with that you somehow parted ways. The job was done, and you both went after your business.
Unfortunately, Johnny couldn’t stop by after the two weeks mark was passed. He got suddenly drafted in again, he just shot you a quick text.
Johnny MacTavish [09:03] Sry, bonnie. Works callin. Gonna make it up to ye ;)
You [10:36] Don’t ruin my masterpiece.
You [10:39] Come back alive.
Johnny chuckled silently after your second message arrived. Those three words gave him an unbearable urge to see you again. Already sitting on the truck next to Simon. “Ye couldn’t keep her away forever, Lt.,” he snickered, shoving his phone into the pocket that would stay off the fields.
“At least I tried…” Simon sighed half annoyed, but half amused. He knew both of you well enough to know, that you’d fit each other’s liking way too good. It was hard to keep up with one of you, but having both combined would bring him the death of his peace. But he was sure, that it wouldn’t become something more. At least he hoped. You had rules, and on top of the list stood: No flings with customers. Especially not after what happened with your ex. So, Simon was sure that Johnny would become at furthest a good friend to you, just like Simon did. He was as sure as he was that this operation would be easy and that nothing would keep them occupied for too long. But Simon was so very wrong about both.
The mission went south faster than Price could smoke his cigar. Kyle was the worst injured, while Johnny didn’t sustain any injuries. It made it clear again. Clear how dangerous the path was they were following. He loved his job; he wouldn’t change a thing. But to know that he almost lost his teammates, it made something to him. So, while sitting at the train station, that should bring him back to Scotland to spend some time to recover, he pulled his phone out.
Johnny MacTavish [12:29] Yer havin a free spot for yer fave Scot?<3
You [12:39] Drop by the studio tomorrow noon.
You [12:41] Sacrificing my days off for you. Make it worthy.
Johnny MacTavish [12:42] Aye!
And Johnny made sure to make it worthy. Instantly jumping on a train to London, instead of home. Booking a hotel nearby on the way and making sure to collect some stuff on the way. He picked up some good lunch on the way to the studio. Making sure to treat you right. He even thought about buying some flowers, but he didn’t want to make you somehow uncomfortable.
When he wanted to push the door once more open, it didn’t move an inch. Just then you walked up from the inside, unlocking the door and letting him in. “Hello there. C’mon in.” You held the door open for him to slide in. Locking the door once more after him, avoiding passing customers. “So, what’s the idea Mr. I don’t want any more tattoos?” you asked him mockingly, while he placed his stuff at the couch in the waiting area and unzipped his hoodie. You were used that customer often came back after the first one. Literally nobody stayed with only one of your pieces. For Johnny you were overly glad that he came back though.
“It’s even more special than before,” he said calm while pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to you. You took it in, and a little smile played on your lips. “I trust ye with it,” he added before his eyes met yours. You knew that look. It wasn’t the cheeky and playful smile. It was genuine, meaningful and he entrusted you with this, it made your heart flutter. So, you took your graphic tablet and get it to work out. Just as perfect as it needed to be.
You were seated on the couch in your waiting area next to him, while he kept telling your stories of operation and after-operation celebrations. He didn’t talk about the most recent one. You kept listening to his voice as you drew the outline for his next piece. He leaned a bit closer into your side, his head resting on your shoulder as he looked at the tablet. His talk paused. A smile tugging at the corner of his lips. You didn’t move, let him rest against you as you inhaled his scent. He smelled nothing like you’d imagine a soldier. Nothing like Simon when he came to the studio. He smelled just fresh. His mohawk holding a scent of balsam in, but also like a tone of green apple. “Something to fault it?” you asked calm.
“Yer dae even better.” Johnny let his head linger on your shoulder while his eyes scanned over the screen. There was shown a hat, a cap and a skull in your original style. Something so insignificant to others, but something so important to him. You sketched it out and prepared the stencil as he stripped his shirt once more. You stood in front of him as you looked at the piece from the last time. Checking if anything was damaged, a satisfied smile on your lips. Just then you prepared his left chest for the three symbols. His hands twitched as you stroke over his chest, and he just wished for you to ditch those damn gloves. His eyes pinned down to your figure, as you wore a little smile, while your fingers worked over his chest.
It took another good amount of time to get this piece done. You took more breaks this time. Sharing some of the food he brought, and many laughs, while he laid on the flat bed and your next to him. Carefully going after the lines of the stencil, while his arm slipped around you and his hand lingered on your waist so often during the process. You didn’t mind. Neither of you said something about it, just enjoyed the company, the closeness as you shared some more chats. But sooner than later this session come to an end.  That way you found yourself standing next to him, observing his face as he looked at the latest addition in the mirror. A smile playing on his lips. It wasn’t like the bright and toothy ones; it was heart melting and genuine. Something so meaningful. “Tapadh leat,” he said a bit absently. It made you raise your brows. His eyes finding yours, while his hands finding your waist. “Thank ye,” he repeated for you to understand, and you smiled, while he didn’t dare to pull you closer. His huge palms only squeezing your side a bit as you stood in front of each other.
“It’s my job, Johnny,” you said calm. And he shook his head no, while he once more squeezed your waist what made you tilt your head in confusion slightly. But you didn’t give it another thought. You wrapped his tattoo up; he pulled his clothes on again and you went to the front desk for the check out. You broke down the skin routine once more with him, but he interrupted you.
“Go out with me,” he said abruptly before you could even say something more. His voice was desperate, but at the same time so gentle.
“MacTavish…” you sighed while your own heart ached. You had your rules. A rule you broke once, and it was the worst decision you ever made. Simon had to help you back then to free you from the stalker your ex-customer and ex-boyfriend was. And with his leaving you lost many regular customers and friends. You couldn’t bring yourself to do it again, even if you knew that Johnny would be different. Even when your heart screamed to just say yes to him.
“Otherwise, I need to come back every time on leave to get another one.” His voice gave you some hints of a joke, still you weren’t so sure about it if he really was joking. His eyes were filled with a certainty, a determination. You averted your eyes.
“I am sorry…” you said calm. But he only declined it. His face a bit defeated, but still something told you he wasn’t done with the thought. Simon told you once how stubborn this man could be, so you steeled yourself, hoping that you wouldn’t give in. Even if it would be hard when those azure eyes literal begged for you to do so.
“Gonna stay ‘n London for three weeks. If ye make up yer mind. Ye ken how to find me,” he said while leaving your studio.
You exhaled deeply after closing the door after him. Waving after him as he crossed the street. His eyes still bright as always. You cleaned up the studio and went to the front desk for a last time today. As you flipped you through the bills to put them away something different caught your interest. A little paper neatly folded between the notes. You took it and unfolding it. It revealed a sketch of your own face. It was a unique art style, and it made your heart ache even more. Under the sketch was something written in a sloppy handwriting. ‘nae stunning as the original’ You pressed the paper to your chest, while a desperate chuckle left your throat. “John MacTavish…you’re gonna be the death of mine,” you said calm to yourself as you put the drawing into your personal journal.
“He came for ‘nother one?” It was a few days after your gripping encounter with the Scot when Simon was seated in your studio again. Working to add a new part to his back piece. You only nodded, even if he couldn’t see it. “Ya like him, don’t ya?” The Brit said calm. You paused your work for a second. Not answering him was answer enough for Simon, what made him chuckle deeply.
“Si…” you exhaled while continuing your work. You wanted to say so much about that topic because he was right. You liked him. He already reserved a place in your heart for himself and the last days were only filled with that god damn genuine smile of the Scot. You found yourself often at night looking at the portrait he gifted you. Asking yourself how long you’d be able to turn him down.
“Tomorrow, drinks at yer place.” It wasn’t an offer, more like an order and you sighed. Not like you and Simon didn’t spend some time of sessions together. You were close after all. Drinking and talking or just watching some stupid shows together at your apartment. Even if the thought of you meeting his teammate still annoyed Simon, he couldn’t bring himself to watch two idiots pinning for each other when it was way too obvious. And even if he wouldn’t admit it for anyone to hear, seeing two of the people he liked the most falling for each other, it made the coldness of his own heart melt. You only needed a little excuse to ditch your rules. Even if Simon hated to break those. If it meant that you could finally be happy again after your ex, he was willing to help.
Lt💀 [17:09] 1900 at the studio
John MacTavish [17:11] What yer up to Lt?
Lt💀 [17:15] Don’t ask stupid questions.
Johnny knew better than asking more questions, so he got ready and made sure to be punctual. It was Sunday, so the studio was indeed closed as he stood in front of it at 18:56. As Simon walked around the corner, wearing all casual sweatpants and a hoodie, Johnny was even more confused. The Brit had a plastic bag from a nearby grocery store in one hand. “C’mon Johnny.” He punched his shoulder playfully while walking around the studio, aiming for a door in the side alley.
“Mind fillin’ me in, Lt?” he arched his brow at him while trailing close after him. Hands pushed into the pockets of his denim pants. Somehow, he felt overdressed next to the way too casual look of his Lieutenant.
Simon looked at his watch, waiting for another minute to pass. So, it was actual 7 p.m. and he pressed the button of an intercom. “It’s Simon for tonight,” he said, shooting Johnny a glare who only looked more confused but raising his hands in defense. The door started to buzz, and Simon pushed it open, signaling Johnny to follow him. Climbing some stairs before they found themselves in front of another door, which already stood a gap open. So, Simon naturally walked in, kicked his shoes of and Johnny followed his lead.
“Hello there,” you chimed while walking up to give Simon a quick hug, which he returned before ditching his mask. Your eyes switching to Johnny who just wore a stunned smile. He had thought of many things to happen tonight, but not to find himself in your apartment together with his Lieutenant and a various beers and whiskeys.
You all shared some good laughs, some amazing and catching stories. You told them about some cringe customers and very hilarious stories they shared with you. Johnny and Simon entertained you with sharing stories of their daily events. Johnny didn’t know what excited him more, the way he saw his stoic superior so at ease around you. Joking, laughing and even open so much. Or the fact that you were seated next to him, somehow always having one of his limbs touching any part of you as his eyes were glued to your lips.
It was an easy-going evening when you all had way too many drinks. You were just on the way to bring some empty bottles over to the kitchen when you could hear the teasing voice of Simon once more. “For a lad, that didn’t want any more tattoos, ya fast with getting’ new ones,” he joked, and Johnny only scratched his neck. His cheeks tainted red, mostly from the alcohol running through his system you supposed. “Ya know, Kyle even bet ya’d get a trump stamp if necessary.”
Johnny let out a wholehearted laugh. To be honest, if his whole body was already covered in tattoos and this would be the only way to see you again. He’d do it without hesitation. Hesitation was something you didn’t know today either. Just like that you walked over to the Scot. “Real talk now.” Without a warning you sat down, straddling his lap as your arms found his shoulders. Johnny only swallowed, sobered up so suddenly as you pushed your body weight onto him. “If you ever get a tramp stamp and I am not the person to do it… we won’t have a shared future darling,” you said mockingly, while your hands found some loose strains of his hair. Simon only laughed as he leaned back in the armchair, sipping on the beer in his hand. Watching the scenery in front of him in amusement.
“Bonnie, yer the only one for me. Ya ken,” he said while his beefy hands found your waist, helping to stabilize you on top of him. His words held much more meaning in it than you’d realize in your drunken state. His heartbeat quickened up as your fingers played with his hair. The redness of his cheeks rose, just like a certain tightness in his pants. He just hoped to not scare you away. But he was sure he wouldn’t be able to hide it, you simply had to feel it the way you were seated just above the bulge.
You only laughed. Eventually you felt his arousal, eventually you just chose to not pay any attention to it. “Then let’s do it,” you joked, leaning a bit back to look at him properly. He looked flabbergasted back at you.
“Sweetheart, yer drunk,” Simon cooed, and Johnny literally forgot that the Brit was there until this very moment. At this point, he felt somehow embarrassed but also thrilled at the same time.
“Darling. You’d be able to kill a man when drunk. Aren’t ya?” you tilted your head to the Brit with a devilish smile. Simon only sighed, and your smile grew. “See! And I can tattoo then.” You laughed, turning your attention back to the Scot, who by now started to let his thumbs stroke over your waist, drawing lazy circles into the fabric of your top. “What you’re saying, love?” your mischievous smile aimed at him as your eyes pierced into his.
“Fuck it. Let’s dae it,” he said. The alcohol running through his veins was the main reason he agreed, but how could he deny you, when you were so beautifully seated above him. Hands stroking a long his neck and hairline what sent shivers down his spine. His mind was hazy, and he didn’t care for any consequences.
“That’s my boy!” You laughed while slowly standing up. “Benefits of living just above the studio.” You reached for the keys to the studio and signaled the men to follow you. Just a few minutes later you found yourself in the studio downstairs, everything prepared for this very spontaneous and somehow dumb idea. If you’d be sober, you’d never agreed on it. Giving a tattoo to a drunken person is indeed very unreasonable. The body tend to bleed way more with alcohol rushing through it. Quite apart from being drunk yourself. But who said that you made wise decisions in the whole process?
Johnny was positioned on his stomach on the flat bad. His shirt gone once more, and his pants awkwardly pulled down to reveal the required spot. Simon was seated next to you, as you started to draw a tramp stamp freehand on his lower back. For this part you ditched the glove and Johnny couldn’t be happier about it. At the same time, he found himself in quite the misery. This tattoo session giving him a literal hard time, while Simon talked with you the whole time and Johnny only felt your delicate skin onto him. Simon laughed from time to time about the design or the muffled groans the Scot let out. Johnny was certain that Simon did fairly well know about his misery.
In your current state the tattoo took way longer than it would usually have been. But you didn’t mind. The delicious view in front of you made it easier to pull through. And now while your mind was flooded with those inappropriate thoughts, you couldn’t suppress the longing the Scot caused deep in your heart.
“What’d you think, Si?” you placed the tattoo gun down and looked at the artwork, wiping the excess ink away. It wasn’t your masterpiece, but you were more than satisfied.
“Bloody ‘ell. ‘s perfect.” Simon laughed, while looking at the lower back of the Scot.
“Lemme see.” Johnny carefully stood up and walked over the mirror. You haven’t talked about a design, he trusted you to just do your thing and the face he just wore made it so worthy. Even if he would’ve been pissed seeing it. “Haud yer wheesht!” Johnny stood in front of the mirror and looked over his shoulder to see a squiggly tribal leading to the center of nothing else than a unicorn.
“You don’t like it?” you walked up to him, standing just in front of him as he faced you again. There was no regret in his face, only a smile on his lips before he started to laugh wholeheartedly. He pulled you close to his chest as he kept laughing and you just joined him. Placing your hand gentle on his bare back as you started to giggle yourself. It felt way too comfortable.
“Wait a damn minute.” It was Simon who interrupted the scenery. Pulling you a bit away from him. Not forcefully, not to cause any harm. He looked stunned at the chest of the Scot, while his hand was still placed on your shoulder from his earlier action. “Ya fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” he said with disbelief in his voice staring at the three familiar icons on the bare chest in front of him.
Johnny only smiled at him. “Surprise.” His hands stayed at your hips, as all of you three started to laugh at the situation. One of your hands pulling at Simon’s shirt what led to a tight hug shared between the three of you.
Time passed and you haven’t heard of one of them in the next months. You were used to it through your friendship with Simon. But now it was different. It bugged you more than before. Of course, you always did kind of worry for the man, but now there were two men you struggled about. You needed to fight the internal urge to shoot him a message. Asking if he’d be fine and safe, but you didn’t. Not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of him.
It already turned fall when and you started to decorate the studio. The whole place screamed Halloween now, but it wasn’t enough. One of your favorite seasons and it needed to be celebrated right. It was already quite late as you received a text that your appointment for tomorrow cancelled due to sickness. You hated last minute cancellations because you wouldn’t find any replacement. But this time it was somehow fine. The last days were so stuffed full that you could actually look forward to a day off. So, you made plans to go shopping for even more decorations. Enjoying a day off just for yourself. Well, that was your actual plan. A plan that got thrown over as soon as you noticed a familiar face walking through the front door. You turned around and greeted him with a bright smile. Relieve settling in your bones to see him again. He walked strictly up to you and only stopped a few centimeters away. “Johnny.” Before you could even say anything more, he pulled you close to his chest, and you completely engulfed in his embrace. He buried his head into the crook of your neck, as your hands found his back. Drawing lazy circles on his back.
You didn’t know how long you stood there. You didn't know how long until you spoke again. “I can make you some tea and we can talk. If you want to,” you offered with a soft voice, your hand still caressing his back through the thick layers of his jacket.
“Need something stronger.” Was his only response. So, you closed the store and brought him upstairs. He instantly sank down on your couch as you grabbed the bottle of whiskey and purred him a glass. “Thanks, bonnie,” he said calm while taking the glass. You sat next to him; your eyes filled with concern. The usual smile washed away from his face.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Johnny,” you literally begged him. Your hands finding his thigh, what made him look at you. His eyes were still the same azure ones you fell for, but somehow, they looked pale. He looked drained and tired.
He leaned closer to you, until his forehead was resting against yours. Eyes closed, while his hand found the back of your head. “I was scared…” His voice just above a whisper. A quiet confession. “so fuckin’ scared…that I wouldn’t be able to see you again.” His fingers stroked through your hair as you closed your eyes. Trying to suppress the sudden burn you felt in your eyes. His honesty broke your mind and the sheer thought of not being able to reunite with him anymore, it broke your heart. But he was here with you. He was safe with you. Still, you were only friends. You shouldn’t feel those things for your friend.
“I am here, Johnny.” Your voice was soft as your palms found his chest. “I am not going anywhere.” You added a little reassuring tone before he pulled his head only a centimeter away from yours. His blue eyes somewhat brighter than before, staring in yours. You melted right there as his other hand discarded the glass to reach out to your cheek. Your eyes were glued onto the gaze he gifted you. His eyes filled with adoration as the corner of his lips slightly tugged up again.
“Please…” His thumb stroked over your cheek before it took a gentle grip of your jawline. “Let me kiss you.” His glance darted between your lips and your eyes, waiting for your response with anticipation. The slight movement of your head giving him permission was the only thing he needed. Instantly closing the gap between you, as his lips brushed over yours. Gentle and soft, and still you could feel how he held back. The hand on the back of your head pulling you closer. Your hands found his neck as your melted into his touch. You broke away for a second looking into his eyes once more. They were blown with lust and endearment. No way you could retreat anymore.
“Johnny…” Your voice was soft as you pulled him back. You slowly leaned down on the couch and he immediately followed you, hovering just above you. “I am not a person for a one-night stand.” Your voice cracked a bit, but the smile on the Scots face reassured you instantly.
“Who said I’d leave ye.” He connected your lips once more. More eagerly, more lust filled, and you followed his lead. Taking a tight grip onto his neck. If you thought he was hard in the drunken state a few months ago, you were wrong. Nothing compared to the need he felt right now, growing every second as his kisses grew sloppier. Openmouthed wandering down to your neck. A moan left your throat as his teeth gently sank into the soft flesh of your neck. You could feel how everything in you screamed to take him. To feel him.
He leaned back to pull his shirt over his head, revealing his perfect shaped body. A body you had seen so many times before during his appointments, but now everything felt different. He played with the hem of your shirt before he helped you strip out of it. “Like a goddess,” he praised while his calloused hands roamed down your body. Followed by passionate kisses and gently nibbles down to the waistband of your pants. “Let me taste ye hen,” he plead while toying with the hem of your pants.
“Go on, love.” Your voice was filled with so much adoration, it sent electric jolts through his body. He started to fidget with your trousers to free you. Just as your pants landed on the floor, you could feel the cold breeze brushing against the hot spot between your legs. His finger carefully brushing over it. Your panties already soaked, what made him groan with anticipation.
“’st tell me when something feels wrong,” he said soft before pushing the black lace aside to let his mouth take care of your cunt. As soon as he let his tongue slid through your folds you already arched your back. Another groan was heard as his hand took grip of your hips. He ate like a man starved, while you cried out his name.  Johnny had to pull himself together not to cum right there as he tasted you. Everything in him screamed to let go. He couldn’t wait any longer. Not when you were so pretty spread only for him. He stood up, liking over his lips as you looked at him. Your chest heaving. “Cannae wait any longer. ‘m sorry, pet.” He unbuckled his belt and discarded his trousers, followed by his briefs. It made his hardened member jump against his stomach. You parted your lips at the sight. He was an average man, but still shaped like an image out of your wildest dreams. He climbed back on the couch to hover over you. Leaning on one arm, the free one was between your bodies. His hand guiding his cock along your folds. Your hand found his back as your eyes locked again.
“The impatient man you are, John MacTavish.” Your smile enlightened the passion within him even more, as he let the tip slid through your entry. Teasing you with a mischievous smile. Your nails digging into his back as your breath got caught in your throat. “Johnny…” You whined into his mouth while he kept it occupied with his heated kisses.
“Who’s the one impatient now, mo ghraidh?” His smug grin only grew as his lips caught yours in another kiss as he pushed himself inside. You cried out while he gave you some time to adjust. He ditched everything, the prep, the foreplay, he needed you right now and for the loving woman you’re, you couldn’t even try to protest, as it already made you feel that good. You wanted to be good for him, and only him.
“Takin’ me so good,” he praised while pushing deeper in. Feeling your plushy walls around his length already sent him into an abyss. It took him a bit longer to fully button out, letting you adjust to his seize. Showering you with more praise and kisses. As your body started to relax more he started to move. Rolling his hips against yours, letting him slip out and in again. “Hells bells…,” he cried out as he thrusted into your tight hole. His hands holding you tight against him. His forehead pressed to your temple.
Both of you knew you wouldn’t last long. The longing, the desire that grew over the time so huge that it became unbearable anymore. But he promised you that it wouldn’t be just a casual fling. He promised to stay. All the pent-up emotions leading you to the edge so soon. “I’m so close.” He didn’t slow down at your words. Rather pushing his pace up as he felt your walls pulsating.
“I ken.” He kissed your forehead, as your nails dig deeper into the skin of his back. “’st let go, for me.” He assured you while he pulled himself together. Your hands forcing him impossible closer to you as you felt your walls clenching around him as he rocked against that spongy spot inside you. You nodded fast as you buried your head into the crook of his neck, while he pushed his body weight onto you. Kissing your temple as he went deeper and slower. Rolling his hips to keep pushing at that same spot.
The heat building up as it felt unbearable anymore. He pushed you over the edge and you could feel how his length started to twitch inside. You only nodded before he could even ask, while your head stayed pressed against his shoulder. Your orgasm washing over you so hard, that tears started to form in the corner of your eyes. Completely clouding your mind. Somehow, you had to compensate the overwhelming sensation, so your teeth found his neck and you bit in his flesh as he painted your walls white. A deep groan leaving his throat as he rode out his high. You only loosened your jaw as your tongue could sense the taste of iron. You fell back as he collapsed on top of you. He placed another kiss onto your temple. “Dae so good for me, mo ghraidh,” he cooed while your hands clung to his back.
“Will you stay?” your voice was low, brushing over his skin. Somehow scared that this wasn’t real. That his promise wasn’t real. That he wasn’t serious. Even if you knew deep down that those eyes couldn’t lie. And even if they did, you were too addicted of him, you would just accept it that way.
“Inside ye?” The smug grin that reached his eyes was finally back on his lips as he propped himself up a bit. You punched him playfully.
“No, you idiot. In general.” You looked into his now softened eyes. He placed another kiss onto your lips. He slowly pulled out and gently stroked some damp hair from your forehead away. He didn’t need to answer that. Actions were louder than words. He made sure you took a relaxing bath together and afterwards just cuddled up in your bed.
“I’m nae goin’ anywhere.” He kissed your temple while pulling you in his chest. Spooning you and you just curled yourself up, clinging to the strong arm around you. Already on the way to drift away with him being all around you. You couldn’t even wish him sweet dreams anymore.
The next morning felt unreal. As you woke up you found the side next to you already empty. A sigh left your throat as you walked into the living room. After your actions of last night, you slept in nothing more than a fresh pair of panties and his shirt. You stopped in front of the mirror in the hallway to your living room. It looked hilarious how big his shirt was on you. A smile crept on your face as you noticed a low humming.
“Mornin’ bonnie.” Johnny came out of the bathroom, instantly pulling you close to him again. He only wore his briefs. A sight you never wanted to miss anymore. His tattoos by now perfectly healed.
Suddenly something different caught your interest. “I am sorry.” Your eyes wandered to the mark you left on his neck. It was slightly bruised, and you could clearly see an imprint of your teeth. Johnny looked at you and then at himself in the mirror. Examining the spot on his neck and a smile crept on his lips.
“Dinnea need to.” He turned to you, pulling you close to him once more. “Tattoo it.” His words rolled so easily over his lips. You blinked at him in confusion. “’m nae jokin’.”
“Johnny… that’s…a confession…quite possessive”. You tried to find the right words which was hard. You didn’t even know what you actually were, and he wanted you to tattoo your bite mark onto him. Maybe it was like a kink to him? Maybe he was just that cocky. But he didn’t give you space to let your mind wander any more.
“That’s the whole fuckin’ point.” He placed a kiss onto your forehead. “I want the whole world to see who I belong to.” Your heart skipped a beat at his words. It was his way to show you, that this indeed wasn’t just a one-night stand. A love drunken smile crept on your face.
“You’ll regret it sooner or later.” You stated while your fingers brushed over the mark.
“But what if…” He placed a kiss onto your head. “…what if I dinnea.” He smiled at you, watching how your eyes scanned the spot.
“You’re an idiot.”
“I am yer eejit.” He corrected you without hesitation. “If ye let me though.”
You pushed your face into his chest, and he wrapped his beefy arms around you. “Let’s get some breakfast first.” Your voice nothing more than a mumble against his chest, which vibrated due to his laugh, nodding before following you into the kitchen.
Did Johnny spend his whole time on leave at your place in London? Eventually. Just as he got a text from his Captain he left with a sad look in his face, but he promised to return safe. He now had a reason to return. Was the time on operations harder? Not really. You worried as much as before, but now you were officially allowed to text him or Simon to look after each other. Did he get teased by Gaz for the new tattoo found at his neck more than the tramp stamp? Equally Simon would say. But Johnny didn’t mind because both held a unique and deep meaning in his heart. Just like his love for his home country shown through the boar on his upper arm, with what he also had the connection to his family on him. Just like the tattoo symbolizing his teammates, his second family, just above the spot where his heart pumped in his chest. And for every man that would mock him for the tamp stramp he’d flash them in the gym, he only smiled wide, giving them a wink. Knowing that this tattoo marked the start of one of the best things happening in his life. An evening with two of the most important people to him. An evening that he’d forever cherish.
At this point John MacTavish was sure that he was done with getting tattoos. He had the things that were most important to him now immortalized onto his skin. But sometimes this man was in the very wrong. Because about two years later, he found himself once more surrounded by the buzzing of a tattoo gun. Two years that were spent in the fields with his team to make the world a better place. Just to return into your arms at the end of the day. In those two years he never regretted any line you placed onto his body. And he never would regret the fifths tattoo he was just about to get. It was different than the times before.
He was surrounded by his teammates, and your closest friends. Really just the closest of the inner circle. Keeping it as discreet as possible. The big day with everyone would be postponed to another date. But as always, Johnny wasn’t a patient man, so he wanted to have something beforehand. Something just for both of you before he had to go save the world again. That way he wore a casual decent but still traditional fit. The red and blue of his family’s tartan painted his kilt. The same tartan the scarf had you wore around your shoulders. A decent dress below, as you let the needles sink into his skin once more. His hand in yours as you tattooed a simple line around his ring finger. A similar one you already had on your hand. The first and only tattoo the Scot would ever give someone was now around your finger.
Just as you finished you kissed once more, while smiling at each other like the love drunken birds you were, as everyone around you clapped and cheered at you. Your studio filled with so much love and joy like never before. A moment you will always look back to in awe.
“I told ye, MacTavish would suit ye.” He teased while holding you close. His words nearly drowning between the noises of your friends and family.
You punched him playfully against his chest. “I love you too, eejit.”
“Don’t they have to say like I do or anything like that,” Kyle mumbled over to Simon, who just shrugged but smiled at the couple, now husband and wife, in front of him.
Even if you were glad that all the important ones were here around you, in the end only on person mattered to you. And that was the man holding you close in his embrace as he leaned his forehead against yours like he did millions of times before. Every night wondering if he’s alright. Every day waiting for his return. Every nightmare you endured. Everything was so worthy, just to have him close next to you and see him smile down at you. And everything started with a tattoo he never even wanted in the first place. A tattoo that led to four more. A tattoo that gave him a life with you by his side, because from the moment he met you, you went under his skin and there was no way he could ever escape it. Not that he even wanted to.
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notjustjavierpena · 9 months
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OKAY HEAR ME OUT Husband Javier and the reader are fighting the whole day but trying to repress it because of their kids- After they're asleep the two are arguing again and then boom makeup sex 😋 thank you angel !!!!
Fight
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Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost
A/N: This request literally had me up all night, and now it has come to life and possibly turned into one of the most sensual pieces I’ve ever written. I’m obsessed with them. 
Summary: You feel overlooked and unappreciated. Javier says the wrong thing and hell breaks loose, but he also knows how to say sorry. 
Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader/You (No y/n)
Tags: +18 Smut (mdni!), domestic life and dynamic, grownups being assholes to each other, hurt/comfort, saying sorry to each other and to your kids because I’m healing my inner child, crying, pregnancy, pregnancy sex, passionate and rough sex, MAKEUP SEX!!!, clit stim, creampie, dirty talk, praise kink, love love love, they are just crazy about each other 
Word count: 4.2k
Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49596877
Fight
Chucho Peña is coming over tomorrow and that’s fine. 
You’ve made plans to make plans at this point though. The list of things you need to do before he arrives still gets longer every time you have a moment to think about it to yourself, teeny tiny details adding up to a day that’ll keep you busy from the moment you wake up. It would have been fine if you didn’t have to get the kids out of bed and prepared for school, and then go to work too, right on top of cleaning, shopping, cooking, and hosting — at 34 weeks pregnant.
Javier is Javier about it, reassuring you that it will be fine and that you just need to take a breath whilst he stands in the door to the garden, back towards you and smoking his morning cigarette whilst you try to tell Inés that she should have cornflakes instead of lucky charms for breakfast. 
“Oh,” Javier says after stubbing out the cigarette in the ashtray that Lucas has made for him in arts and crafts class. He turns around and rests against the doorframe, “Can we have that chocolate cake you made last time? The one with the white chocolate frosting?”
You never personally thought that you’d ever get into an argument about chocolate cake. If you’d said this to the child version of yourself, she would have laughed out loud and told you that nobody could ever be angry about anything to do with dessert. Especially not chocolate desserts. Yet here you are, letting your fatigue get the better of you.
“Sure,” you let out a loud sigh, dragging it out to really let your husband know that you are not happy about his input, “Sure, Javi, I’ll just add it to my ever-growing list of things I need to do for your father.”
You hear it as soon as it leaves your mouth but you’re too stubborn to backtrack, watching Javier go rigid in the door. He furrows his brow in confusion, and then his expression turns into a frown and eventually a scowl. He doesn’t look downright angry but not happy either. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks defensively, body language telling you that he is getting ready for another attack. He enters the kitchen like he is walking on eggshells, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I only asked you if we could. You have every right to say no, and not be pi—“
Inés looks up at him with big brown eyes that are similar to his own. He swallows down the word, replaces it with something more child-friendly, “And not be rude about it.”
“Say no and watch you be a giant toddler about it? Great, I’ll definitely choose that,” you scoff, running on autopilot and clearing the kitchen counter whilst you argue. Out of the corner, you see Inés starting to squirm in her seat but you’re too far gone by now, “It’s not even my father, and I have to do everything for the preparation because you’re oh-so-important.”
“So we’re just never having my dad over ever again?” Javier seethes, mouth twitching in anger and threatening to put on a violent smile. He has some kind of ability to piss you even more off when he is just about to smile during arguments. 
“That’s not what I said, and that’s not the point,” you stubbornly bend down, hand on your round belly, to put your own plate into the dishwasher. Sebastian is due soon, kicking you as your pulse rises due to anger. Javier looks like he is contemplating whether to help you straighten again or not. 
“Then what is the point?”
With a hand on the edge of the kitchen counter, you manage to stand upright once more. You face Javier, finally scowling right back at him and he seems to shrink a little underneath your fury, “I’m exhausted, Javier. When do you think I have had a night to myself? I know you have a busy schedule, I do, but God—“
You drag the last word out, running a hand through your hair in frustration, “But you went out with Steve just days ago. I need to cook, clean, do the grocery shopping, take care of two kids, and - by the way - do it all with someone kicking my bladder every goddamn minute of the day. Which - by the way - is your doing.”
There is no reason to sound as venomous as you do, but you suspect that half of it is exhaustion and the other half is hormones getting the better of you and ridding you of better judgment. 
“Fine, you win,” Javier makes a display of holding his hands up in surrender but he mixes it with a roll of his eyes, and you almost go for his throat, “I’m a terrible husband.”
“Oh, you did not ju—“ You raise your voice.
Suddenly, you hear sniffling beside you. It pulls you right out of your head and makes you observe your surroundings, and with the way that Javier flinches, it seems to be doing the same to him. 
Inés' little voice breaks your heart, the sight of her even more so when you see she has covered her ears with her hands, “Mamá. Why are you yelling at Papá? Don’t you like each other anymore?”
Javier sends you a look that makes your stomach drop, something that tells you that you are not done here. He looks absolutely furious with you, especially after seeing his daughter cry.
But then he sucks in a deep breath and crosses the room to crouch down beside Inés. He rubs her back soothingly, “Nos gustamos mucho, mija.”
Your legs have made you join them before your brain can even get the idea. Ever so gently, you run your hand over Inés' hair, “I’m so sorry, baby. We won’t shout anymore. Sometimes we get bad feelings. Remember when we talked about those?”
Javier looks at you with his mouth still a thin line and you glare back at him without Inés seeing. He straightens to get a piece of paper towel, first dabbing his daughter’s eyes and then blowing her nose afterward. 
Lucas Peña peeks into the kitchen from the hallway. He looks like someone who has just woken up, hair sticking out in the same way that his father’s sometimes does, but it’s accompanied by a concerned expression on his face as he watches the scene in the kitchen, “Why were you fighting?”
“We weren’t fighting,” you reassure and hold out your arm. Lucas goes to press into your side, and you respond to his affection by resting a hand on his head, “Okay?”
“Okay,” Lucas replies but he doesn’t sound convinced. 
From the outside, it probably looks like the perfect family portrait but you can feel Javier is fuming underneath the surface. He leaves Inés’ side to throw the snotty paper towel out, his shoulders still tense.
“Lucas, can you take your sister into the bathroom and brush your teeth?” You say as neutrally as you can muster, faking a smile down at him as he looks up at you, “I’ll be right there.”
“What about breakfast?” He asks.
“I’ll make you a sandwich for the bus ride. Whatever you want, but we’re already late,” you tell him, and it seems to work as he takes Inés’ hand in his own and leads her out of the room.
When Javier and you are alone again, an uncomfortable silence settles between the two of you. Javier stands against the counter, palms flat on its surface and you can hear the sound of the clock in the background, ticking by as the silence stretches. 
You are just about to apologize when Javier turns around. His eyes are wild with fury, not at all as submissive as just moments earlier when you had been the angry one. He points at you, mustache twitching with disgust that you are sure must be directed at himself too, because he says, “Never in front of the kids. I don’t care how angry you are. We don’t do that.”
You can feel your bottom lip tremble. 
Javier leaves the kitchen instead of comforting you. 
You force a smile, trying your hardest to sound cheerful while tears spill down your cheeks, “Lucas, what do you want on your sandwich?” 
*
The rest of the day goes by without any resolve, and it feels like there’s a brick lying heavy on your chest and making you on the verge of tears all day. Despite this, you manage to get everything on today’s list done before dinner and yes, you buy the ingredients for the stupid chocolate cake, making an effort to ‘casually’ leave the recipe on the counter for Javier to see. It results in him emptying and refilling the dishwasher without a word. 
During your bedtime routine, Lucas looks worried. He tugs at your hand when you are just about to leave and you can see the cogs turn in his head as he strings together a sentence, “Mom… It’s okay if you and Dad were angry at each other. I just don’t like it when you cry and… and I want you to say sorry. That’s what you make me do when I get angry at you or Dad. Or Inés.”
Your heart hurts from the love that’s barely able to be contained inside of it. With every single muscle in your body being strained, you manage to bend down to hug his head close to your chest, “Mijo.”
“No, don’t be sad,” he says quickly, hugging you back. 
“I’m not, baby. These are good tears because I love you so much,” you kiss his head, “I’m so proud of being your mom, baby. You know this, right?”
Lucas pulls back and you quickly wipe your tears away. He studies your face for a second, “Y-yes, I love you too, Mom, but you need to say sorry to Dad.”
You nod, struggle a little as you try to get up and say your final goodnight. On the way out, you desperately brush more tears out of your face because looking at the photos in the hallway makes them well up in your eyes once more. 
Javier is tying the strings of his pajama pants as you enter your shared bedroom. He doesn’t acknowledge you when you strip yourself naked except for your underwear, and not even when you pull a tank top over your head that’s barely covering your pregnant belly anymore. You’re unsure of what to say to get a reaction from him. The silence screams. 
“I’m sorry,” you eventually settle for. 
Javier turns to you then. His eyes rest on you for a moment before he speaks, “I’m sorry too. I get it… wanting time to yourself. I just didn’t know that was what you needed.”
He is hugging you soon after, strong arms around your exhausted frame. Your round stomach bumps against his flat one, and he lets go with one arm in favor of resting a hand where Sebastian usually kicks during the evening hours. It’s thankfully quiet right now, as if he senses that you need it.
“I wish you could just see how much invisible work I put into this house,” you say softly into his shoulder, “I feel so underappreciated and overwhelmed sometimes.”
“And I wish you would tell me how you’re feeling instead of treating me like a damn mind reader,” he sighs deeply, and you respond by getting defensive again. You’re just about to pull away with an annoyed groan. 
“No, no, c’mere,” he tugs you back into his arms and you let him because you’re feeling generous. His hands cradle your face, “I don’t wanna fight. Please. I hate fighting with you. I’m sorry.” 
“You make me so furious,” you whine as he bumps your nose with his own, feeling tears prickle at the corner of your eyes and one sliding down to drip from your chin. Javier tuts, catches it with his thumb.
“I’m sorry, baby,” his mouth curls downward as he says it, puppy dog eyes on their highest setting, “I know how much you do. I do. I’m just— you know how I am. Don’t cry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Javier embraces you once more as you blink tears away, dragging in a deep breath. The air in the bedroom smells like him, comforting and safe, and it makes it hard to keep concentrating on your fight and easier to fall into him. 
“I love you,” you mumble into his shoulder, and holy fuck, you do - every single day, hour, minute and second. He is your best friend, your husband, the face of your children, and most importantly, you know that he does his best for you.
It seems that those three words are exactly what he wants to hear because you feel his hands curl around the hem of your tank top. You don’t protest, relishing in the gentle touch of his fingertips against your back as he pulls the piece of clothing up and over your head. 
Your shoulders come down to relax from having been tensed up. You haven’t even noticed how much energy you have been using on straining your muscles, but now that you are calming again, you can feel how upset you’ve actually been throughout the day. 
“I love you too,” he promises. Your heart drums in your chest. The way he says it makes arousal burn below your belly button, a gentle tingling, and swirling sensation pleasantly taking over your whole pelvic floor. 
You look down between the two of you to see that Javier is already half-hard in his pajama pants, words seemingly having had the very same effect on him too. You start untying the strings of his pants slowly until you can tug them down over his hips, and he mirrors you to remove your underwear. 
Both of your bottoms pool around your feet, and when you have both stepped out of them, Javier pulls you close by your elbows. He catches your mouth in a desperate kiss, and you melt into him in a way that an apology could never make him feel. 
He pushes you back towards the bed whilst never breaking the searing kiss. Your hair is a mess in his hands, heartbeat speeding up as everything moves so fast from then on out; he helps you down onto the bed like the gentleman he is, manhandles you onto your side like the man you were swept off your feet by years ago and finally presses his front up against your back.  
“I want you,” you say in unison, and it makes you giggle at how in sync you are with each other despite having spent the day fighting over something already long forgotten. Especially when his arm scoops underneath you to cage you against his chest, hand tightening around your shoulder to hold you in place. 
Javier leans over you slightly to kiss the giggles away, bends your knees a little with his free hand so he can let it wander over you. He touches you up along your thigh as you place a pillow under your pregnant belly, takes his time holding you tightly, “Get hotter and hotter every day, mi amor.”
You press your ass back into his crotch, cunt throbbing with impatience as you hear the tiny groan that he lets out. He is so hard against the roundness of your behind, cocktip leaking steadily against your warm skin when he grinds right back into you. 
“Put it in,” you plead softly. Your hands come up to grip his forearm that is secured just above your tits, “Javi, please. I need it so bad.”
He is silent behind you as he works. The anticipation is unbearable when it is mixed with the unnerving need to have an outlet for all the intense emotions that you have just been through, your pussy quivering in desperation to be deliciously stretched out to transform your feelings into something physical. 
Suddenly, you feel the thick head of his cock between your thighs and you ready yourself for intrusion. Luckily, he doesn’t make you wait, guides himself into you in a slow motion until he is fully sheathed inside you. 
“Fuck,” you whine as quietly as you can, nails digging his arm from how hard you are gripping it.
“I know, ahh fuck, shhh,” he soothes but the way his voice sounds makes you believe that he is just as close to losing his mind, “Be quiet, baby. Just let me make you feel fucking amazing. Need a pillow between your knees too?”
You nod, and he is right there with his own pillow to help you get even more comfortable in bed with him. God, why were you even fighting? Something about cake? Either way, it seems beyond ridiculous. 
His nose is in your neck, his hand travels up to cup your breast and then he moves his body for a very first thrust inside of you. It makes your eyes nearly roll back into your skull when he keeps the pace lazy and deep, barely pulling out with each roll of his hips. 
“You feel so good,” he praises whilst mouthing along the most sensitive spot on your neck, “Makes me never wanna leave. Wanna live here.”
“Inside me?” You chuckle breathlessly. 
“Forever,” he gives you a slightly harder thrust, the first where the noise of his skin slapping against yours resonates through the bedroom. You moan in surprise, and he hushes you once more, “Don’t let them wake up and think momma is in pain.”
“Definitely not in pain.”
Javier lets out the quietest laugh. It’s almost unfair how good he is at keeping it down compared to you, but you don’t think you’ll mind having his big palm cover your mouth if you end up causing trouble. It almost happens when he pinches an overly sensitive nipple, making it harden immediately under his touch. 
“Help me spread my legs a little more,” you beg at a low decibel. 
The hand on your tit gropes obscenely and shakes for a moment before it slips down and caresses your belly on the way. Still lying on your side, he smacks the fleshiest part of where your ass and thigh meet before he cups the back of your knee so he can lift.
The move gives you the access you need to rub your cunt, two fingers going in taut little circles around the swollen nub. You rock with him too, and it goes on until you come with your back arched, releasing a short and hot breath that you didn’t notice you had been holding until it turns into a loud and accidental moan. 
“That’s my girl,” he moans too as you clench rhythmically and choke his dick when you release the built-up tension. When your orgasm reaches its peak, Javier’s hand on your shoulder moves to cover your mouth at the fear of you making enough noise to have the door burst open with unwelcome visitors, “I know it’s hard, mi vida, but - shit - but be quiet.”
You take the opportunity to let out a drawn-out and helpless cry into his hand as the sweet pleasure goes on for a few moments more. Then you slump, and he gently moves your leg down again to put less strain on your body. 
“My God,” he talks into your ear, thrusts never slowing down and you swear that you can feel his cock jump with every weak noise you make, “I love you so much. Love your little cunt too, she takes me so well.”
Javier’s hand comes down to grip the extra pounds on your hips. He tugs at the flesh almost painfully, but your exhaustion and dopamine overload are making you too delirious to notice that it’s to the point of bruising. He holds tight and uses the grasp that he has on you to pull you down onto his cock over and over. 
It takes no time to make a second orgasm stir in the pits of your stomach. Your moans change once more as your body starts responding to him fucking you so hard. 
“You think you can come again?” He rasps into your ear, and when the head of his cock slides teasingly over your favorite little spot inside of yourself, you nod frantically and it feels like you are about to cry actual tears. Fuck yes, you can come as many times as he wants. 
“Mhm, won’t take long,” you whimper and use all your willpower to lift your leg over your husband’s thigh until you are spread widely. Your belly is still comfortably supported in the new position, but now that your front is stretched taut and fully exposed like a well-trained and submissive animal, it enhances the feeling of Javier gliding over your g-spot repeatedly.
Javier removes the arm that he has caged you in with, but whereas it gives you a moment to heave a breath of air into the very bottom of your lungs, he quickly takes it away from you as he reaches up with his other hand to grab your throat. He doesn’t squeeze like he normally would when you are not pregnant, but the anticipation of him doing it makes your head swim. 
And then he is absolutely brutal in his thrusts, and before you know it, you are coming with your clit untouched and a strangled sob. The convulsions are so intense that your thighs shake, your toes curl and your eyes screw shut. 
You reach up to put your hand on the back of Javier’s head, holding on tightly as he pounds into you from behind throughout your orgasm. The way he pants tells you that he is close, and when you yank the tiny curls at the nape of his neck, he starts to chase his release. 
“Javi,” you whisper loudly as he slams into your sensitive cunt, “Give it to me. Pleasepleaseplease. Need you to fill me up.”
“Fu— oh shit,” Javier swears in a low, rough growl as he snaps his hips a few last times before stilling inside of you. He feels impossibly big inside your cunt as he pumps you full of his come, cockhead resting at your cervix and coating you in warmth. 
“Jesus, we’re terrible at being quiet,” you whisper as he pants. You let your leg come down onto the other once again, a giggle suddenly building up in your chest. He starts laughing whilst still inside of you, hugging you tightly into his chest and nuzzling his nose into your cheek.
“They sleep through it, don’t gotta worry about it much anymore, I think,” he notes without care, kissing your cheek repeatedly despite still not having calmed his breath. You smile widely as you stare at the ceiling, overtaken by the love you feel for him every time he gets you to post-orgasmic bliss. 
“We need a date night soon though, Jesus. Perhaps Pop could take the kids home with him tomorrow after dinner and I could… do this again,” he smacks your ass playfully, then strokes your hip in soothing circles, and you almost purr like a cat at the gentle move, “Without a mute button on my pretty wife’s mouth, of course.”
“I’d like that,” you say with a soft and sweet sigh, acknowledging his attempt to make things from earlier up to you, “Been a while since you’ve made me scream. Wanna take our time.” 
Javier reaches down between you to pull out before he is completely soft. You hiss at being left empty when you are so spent, but Javier quickly distracts you with another string of kisses to your cheek and the corner of your mouth. He adds to the fantasy, “And then I’ll draw you a bath and you can spend as much time alone as you want. Don’t gotta be no one to anyone.” 
He moves on the bed as far as his arm that’s trapped beneath you allows him, going for the packet of wet wipes you keep on the nightstand. He had suggested them when it had become too hard during your third trimester for you to get out of bed after sex. He hands you a few and you hold them over your mound, enjoying the coolness of them.
“You know the way to my heart,” you say, wiggling a little and feeling his come seep out. It makes your nose crinkle.
“Well, I did convince you to marry me,” he replies. 
“Worst decision I’ve ever made,” you tease. Javier wraps his other arm around you, hand splayed on your belly. 
The position you are in is uncomfortable; Javier’s arm underneath you has got to be asleep by now and you feel damp with sweat due to him being like a furnace against your back.
Still, you both drift off slowly into the soundest sleep. You don’t wake up until two unexpected visitors barge in at the most ungodly hours of the morning, causing you to scramble for the blanket to cover your bodies up and hide the come-stained wet wipes in the nightstand drawer.
.
.
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pursuitseternal · 6 months
Text
“Persuade Me,” Ascended Astarion tells you, a sub!Astarion, all tied up for you in “The Rogue You Were”
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Ascended Astarion x F!Reader | E | 3.9K persuasive dom/sub bdsm smut
Summary: He’s so terribly stubborn, it will take a lot of persuasion to get him to come around. All tied up, it should be easy, but no matter how *hard* it is, it will be… delicious for you both…
CW: bondage, sub!Astarion, tender confessions, possessive and stubborn Ascended behavior, persuasive bedroom techniques so effective, he tells you the reason he can’t let you out of his sight, why you are not just… some… spawn…
Based on “Just A Drop🩸”
Read on AO3 | Astarion fic Masterlist
How will you persuade him…
🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t seen Lord Astarion all morning,” you give your most convincing look of worry, of concern and confusion. Eyes wide and brows furrowed, painted lips pouting as you close your dressing gown tightly around your body. “Perhaps try the grounds? Everyone knows he enjoys a good stroll in the dawn…”
And with that you shut the door in the poor trembling servants face. A brief flash of relief on their fearful countenance that dismissing them and shutting the door on them was the worst you did. You hear their poor feet skitter away. And then, you turn with a deep, contented breath to view the sight stretched in your bed.
Yours. And his.
He’s waiting. Patiently. Spread wide and tethered to the four posts of your bed frame, and most of all, your mouth waters to see that hardened, twitching, eager cock proudly erect.
Just as you left him.
Only now, his eyes are drawn, half-lidded, his tongue licking his lips.
“They will get suspicious eventually, darling,” he croons, all the tones of confidence as you draw alongside the bed, dropping your thin, little dressing gown to reveal you pale figure again.
“Let them,” you purr right back. “They wouldn’t dare enter without my permission,” you cock your head flirtatiously, “or yours. But since you are… tied up with other matters…”
“Puns, darling,” he groans, face twisting in a sour show of distaste.
“…they will just have to take my word for it.” You laugh slowly, sitting yourself beside his hip, a single finger tracing through the ridges of his stomach. Ignoring his little taunt, savoring his submission as your willing plaything for now.
“Liar,” he croons rolling his body to press against your ass, where you are perched almost out of reach. “You said Lord Astarion isn’t here,” he’s growling. Provoking. Straining against his binds that are restraining both him and his ever-growing magic.
You give him that wide-eyed innocent look, scanning the room, a show of searching, a pantomime that only makes him sneer playfully and shake his head. “All I see is my lover, my Vampire Rogue, who is being rather stubborn about all this,” you sigh as you swiftly roll to brace yourself above him, perched on your hands and knees to hover over his taught form. Tantalizingly close.
He groans, trying to lift himself to touch any part of you. But you are clever, you’ve played enough games on the receiving end of such pleasurable punishments to know just what you wish to do.
“I am allowed to be stubborn when what you ask for is reckless… painful… dangerous…” he’s snarling below you, his chin jutting up to make his shining fangs all the more fearsome.
“It has been months since the end of our adventures,” you reply in calm and steady tones, “months of solidifying our power, of eliminating the traces of our enemies and assuring alliances, even with old friends…” you think of Wyll, new Duke Ravenguard, and the tenuous agreement to turn his literal blind eye on most of what Astarion does. Trusting you to be the one to keep him in check from anything horribly nefarious.
“You think my consort… my queen… should wander the streets of Baldur’s Gate alone? Unguarded? Like some….”
“Adventurer and hero?” you interject.
“I was going to say commoner…” he sniffs, disgruntled.. “You’re so much more than that now, my love. Let me free and I’ll show you just how special you are… how regal and unique…”
You skate your fingers down the hard lines of his stomach, barely ghosting their way towards his straining erection. “Mmmmm my love, you’re always so good at persuading with your body, I’d like to give it a try.”
“You can try, darling…” he swallows his grunt as you finally touch him, just the pads of your fingers tracing up the underside of his cock. “But you’ll find my tongue is better suited to other… pursuits… than merely trying to give you my word.”
“I’ll take my chances,” you simper, you pout, lowering your head to place a gentle kiss at the joint of his hip. “I think all you need is the correct incentive… the sweetest persuasion…”
“What you ask will certainly take a lot to persuade me, darling,” he groans. “If you think I’m about to allow you to go without an escort around the streets of Baldur’s… hngf…”
You suck him hard, taking in as much of his straining, painful erection as you can until it jabs at the back of your throat and makes you gag. But that’s it. You release him with a deafening, sloppy pop. Meeting his eyes, they are glassy, his teeth bared in a grimace of pain. Or pleasure.
“Hells,” he whines, bucking his hips erratically off the bed, even with his legs tethered and spread as they are.
“You want to rethink that assertion, my love?” you preen, crouched beside him, nested in the bedcovers.
“Never,” he growls, a playful smile on his full and pouting lips. “But I’ll join in your game all you want, darling. You’re burning for my cock as much as I am for you and all your deliciousness.”
“Is that so?” You simper, slowly lowering your mouth back down to hover above his aching erection. The closer you get, the more he betrays his anticipation as it twitches. You barely run the tip of your tongue around that ridge of its head. “Just a simple acquiescence to the little thing I ask of you… just to walk beyond our palace…”
“Not without me,” Astarion’s eyes flash, his fangs glinting in the morning light that seeps through the window. “Never alone, my pet…”
You take him in mouth lips again, loose and sloppy, just a bit of wet and warmth to tease him before you dodge away, avoiding the thrust he attempts to make for some relief. “Ah, ah,” you scold with a simpering pout, “we ask first before we start fucking faces, my love.”
“May… I…” he clenches his beautiful white teeth, forcing his words through them, “fuck… you?”
“No, but thank you for asking,” you taunt, running your tongue up that grooved underside, letting it linger along the intricate map of veins that weave around that hard, throbbing length. “Once you agree, then I’ll be more than happy to let you in… somewhere…”
He lets out a ferocious growl, a smile still playing around his lips, eyes craning above his head to inspect your bindings. Even as they tingle with a little magic, a little extra assurance against all his mighty vampiric powers now. “I swear, if I could shift into my newest form…”
“Your cute little bat?” you grin, laughing loudly as you take him deep enough into your throat to feel the vibrations of your throat. Then, you release another strong suck with a pop. “What would you do, make a nest in my hair?”
He laughed at that, low, dark, and rolling. “Tempting,” he hissed back, “nothing short of what you would deserve, darling.”
“To wander without needing to wait for you to be free from your rule… your duties?” you return your attention to that glistening cock with a hungry grin, “I’ll take my chances again.”
He squirms as you barely graze it with your lips again, just little nipples of that smooth, stretched skin up and down its shaft. “Please, darling, please,” his voice grows desperate, edged with need, “give me just a little of your body.”
“And in exchange?” you croon, gracing him with one last lingering suck and swirl around that blunted tip.
“I will take you where you wish to go,” he groans at the continued release, your little reward of rhythmic bobbing over his length as you take him satisfyingly deeper. “To hells with duties, if that is your wish.” Tone softening, he bucks into your mouth, his timing as always impeccable, jamming that slick hardness down your throat as you lower. You sputter and gag, your throat closing around him before you can lift away.
“Naughty,” you chide him gently, frowning with a hint of a smile as you creep to dangle your body over him, all hands and knees and swinging breasts. Breasts he’s licking his lips for as you draw nearer.
“Just a taste, darling,” he flashes those wide, pleading eyes up at you, “I swear I only need a little…”
“Mmmm, I’ve heard such beautiful lies before,” you raise yourself onto your knees, straddling those clenching muscles of his belly. A single one of your finger slips inside your own folds, and you let him hear just how wet you are. It squelches, sloppy and thick as you tease yourself. You ride over his belly, locking your half-closed eyes with his, wide and burning and dilated as they are. “Good rogues get the spoils,” you pant, letting yourself thrust those fingers into your dripping folds harder, faster. You spasm, riding your own hand, feeling his belly rise and fall against your thighs and cunt as you pleasure yourself.
You can hear the bed groaning, the wooden frame creaking loudly as he pulls at every binding. It makes you lick your lips, eyes fluttered shut to savor the way he’s writhing between your thighs, shaking as he comes undone to watch you panting. Always watching as you begin to come, trembling and moaning as you shatter, your arousal pooling over his belly. As you try to catch your breath, you let him look into your gaze, that feral, barely-bridled glow of red in his eyes. You feel his cock throbbing against your ass, twitching as you make the slightest of contact with where his is in deepest agony.
It makes you smile wickedly, leaning forward to proffer your slick and dripping fingers for his lips. You need not say a word, not when he opens, straining against his tethers to suck you clean. Every lap and lick of his tongue, he feasts on your cum, little noises of feeding in his throat, the same he has always made, lips bruising your neck in the wee hours of night.
You tug them roughly from his mouth. “Enough of that from you,” you chide, smiling. Taunting. “I give you a little, and you still have yet to give me my due, my love.”
He grins, licking the corner of his lip. “You still haven’t figured it out yet, have you, my darling… my treasure…? Have you stopped and thought, perhaps, why I won’t let you wander aimlessly into the open, outside of my protection?”
“Because you just can’t bear to be without me…” you tease him, a wicked smile on your face as you place a quick kiss on his insolent lips. He fights for you not to break away, his teeth biting into the swell of your lower lip. “Selfish lover that you are…” you mumble as he tries to devour you all the more.
“Naturally, my little love,” he pants as you raise up, a hand firmly pushed on the base of his throat. “Has it not always been so, darling? Your ferocious rogue always at your side? But now, my sweet consort, have you ever wondered why I can’t resist being just oh.. so… possessive of you?”
You pause, tilting your head, considering. You wait for an answer, but those full, smirking lips of his just press silently together.
“Oh, you wish for me to draw out your answer,” you needle him, an edge of irritation in your voice now.
“Isn’t that the point of your charming, little game?” he presses, tugging at his bonds to make them snap with tension.
“Then let’s play,” you smirk, neck taut as you cock your chin, posturing with all the dominance you can muster.
“Anything to get some wet part of you on my cock, my love…” he arches his body as you slide off his belly. “If you please,” he adds, extra silken temptation in his tone.
“You haven’t been good, but I suppose you require more persuasion,” you hum, “and perhaps you could use a more convincing sight. Until you tell me exactly why you insist on being my constant escort, at least.”
“You’re clever,” he hisses as you begin to turn your back to him, hand gripping that throbbing shaft, his pulse pounding beneath that smooth skin. “If you can defeat the Absolute, the Netherbrain, it should be easy for you to puzzle out why your vampiric lover can’t let his consort out of his sight for a moment…” He groans as you straddle those narrow hips of his, one hand sweeping his cock through your drenched folds. “No matter how powerful… or insolent she may be…” he adds, a deep-throated growl on every word, a snap as he taunts you.
You let him dip slowly inside you, barely taking more than the ridge of his tip between your thighs. Hands gripped on his knees, you feel his legs shaking, trembling to finally find some relief as you fuck him leisurely. A gentle sway, an agonizingly slow riding. And never enough to let him sheath inside you fully.
A mischievous smirk on your lips, you glance over your shoulder. His teeth are grit, his eyes darkened with lust and wide as he cranes to watch your ass, the gradual, rhythmic rise and fall as you pleasure him with total control. “Powerful, am I?” you gloat, taking him just a little deeper.
It makes him hiss, his eyes shutting as sweat begins to dampen his forehead.
“More than you realize,” he gasps, voice grating as he forces his eyes open to drink in the sight of you. “More than I have ever admitted to anyone… to you.”
“Tch,” you suck your teeth in that way he always has, “how sweet, my love. Is that why you keep me here, keep me at your side always? For my power?”
“Don’t forget your beauty that would launch nations into battles for you, my treasure…”
That makes you smile, makes your stomach flutter in expectation, and for your own sake, you take him in, all the way, until you feel the slap of his thighs between your legs.
He roars, pulling on his binds on this hands and feet to make the wood of your bed groan almost as loudly. “Please,” he spits, “do that again, darling.”
“Tell me more reasons, and I just might,” you toss over your shoulder at him, making him feel only the tip of his cock piercing you again.
“Why don’t you think, clever girl?” he hisses, trying to buck into your cunt, to reclaim that little hint of wet and pressure you gave him.
“Because I am your equal?” you grind with every thrust, letting your walls clench as you take him just a bit deeper.
“Yes…” he pants.
“Because you just can’t bear to be so far you can’t smell just how aroused you make me…” you giggle, splaying a hand behind you, over his navel, pressing against those hardened muscles of his belly as you sink all the way down.
“Gods, yes…” he’s groaning, licking his lips as you let him fill you at last.
“Because you’ve given me your power, extended your blessings…” you cant your hips slowly, still drawing him along, but he can only sigh, at last feeling the tightness, the wetness he’s sought for so long now.
“Not just my blessings and power, darling,” he cranes his head back into the bed with a sated sigh as you ride him. Even slowly.
But you pause. Clambering over his hips you spin around to face him, cock still sunk inside you, a hand gripped around the lines of his jaw, his chin, to make him look at you. “What do you mean?” you bite.
“Don’t you recall, clever girl?” He’s laughing under your hold. “That night, your final night… what more did I give you?”
Your mind races, your hips grinding, that need now built inside you too, finally feeling filled to bursting, his cock twitching as it drags right over that perfect, secret spot between your walls.
“Free me, if you please, so I may remind you…” he’s crooning, purring as you fuck him. “Please,” he adds, a little extra seductively, his face twisting in that way that makes your stomach knot as it always has. You spread your hands beside his head, eyes narrowed to see him gloating so smugly under you. His little order sends ripples of anticipation down your spine to pool even hotter where your bodies join.
Your hand shakes, your body now riding him of its own accord, even as you reach for the binding around one wrist to slip it off his pale skin. Instantly, his hand grabs your wrist, pulling it to his mouth as he sinks his fangs into your flesh. You groan, the wave of painful pleasure tearing through you hard enough to make you come. All you feel is his lips drinking you in, his cock throbbing as you spasm and ride him still through the clenches of your orgasm. You’re so full, so taken, so overwhelmed.
And he’s laughing, swirling his tongue over your dripping blood.
“Blood,” you breathe through your climax.
“Not yours,” he growls before biting into his own wrist in the same way. Then, he proffers that flow of his blood for your own lips to taste. “I gave you mine… I made you mine.”
You suck your fill, the tingle of his power, the rush of all that he is, all that he has always been, filling your belly.
“You are not some spawn, darling,” he smirks, that secret dancing over the full pout of his lips. “Your vampire lord gave you his own blood.” His words reach your ear through the euphoria of drinking him in. Suddenly, his hand pulls from your hungry mouth, fingers clawing around your throat. He presses, just enough to make your eyes wide as you swallow under his strength, his hold pulling you down so close to his handsome face. “Even a drop given to you, to turn you, it makes you mine… my consort, my bride, my vampire lover forever, beyond the touch of time itself.”
“Not spawn?” you rasp through his hold on you, a pleased, pleasured smile flickering around your lips as he stares with such longing and adoration up at you.
“No,” he purrs, “but it means I will never let you out of my sight, my power, my protection, so long as we walk this earth. I would rather burn the world to keep you with me forever than risk losing my bride for an instant….” You tremble, you gasp at the ferocity in his gaze as he pulls you down by your throat until your lips crash into his. He feasts on your mouth, groaning at the taste of how your bloods mix and mingle into an intoxicating flavor. Rich. Powerful. United.
Inseparable.
“What a good, good master,” you simper into his kiss. “You shall be rewarded…” You touch the binds again, they all go limp as he shakes them off. He growls his pleasure. He touches you everywhere, fingers sliding from your neck to claw into the hairs at the nape of your neck, nails grabbing for your hips. Legs now liberated, the muscles of his thighs bunch as he starts to fuck hard into you from beneath, feet planted firmly on the bed at last.
“Thank you, my dearest love,” he grins widely, wickedly at you. “I hope I need not persuade you to trust me. Never again forget what it means to be mine…”
“Your bride,” you simper, tasting the title on your tongue, face quirking in a slight and knowing smile. “And that makes you my hus-”
“Your master,” he lifts his head, the weight of his hand at your nape pressing your mouth back down, barely brushing his taunting smirk. “Your lover… your mate or spouse or what have you behind closed doors only.” Then he bites into your neck, fangs piercing like the razors they are. A loud moan slips from your lips as you shiver and shudder in orgasm again from the pain and pleasure. His voice cuts through just as sharply, “And you may only call me husband… three times… for all eternity…” His tongue laps the blood that spills from your veins and down your shoulder now. “Choose wisely, my dearest darling.”
You fight the pull of your pleasure, the need to go limp and just let him fuck you. Not after your hard won victory. So you pull from his mouth, pushing that controlling hand at your neck back down to the bed. “Of course, darling,” you give a naughty smirk, a defiant rake of your brows and flutter of your lips as you press to whisper against his neck instead. “Whatever you say, husband,” you hiss with pure, delightful insolence before you bite him back. Now it’s your mouth that makes him squirm, your control that makes his shudder and hitch as he chases his climax, seeking with reckless abandon the thing that you have kept just tantalizingly out of reach.
“You fuck me like this, my love, and you just might persuade me to get used to it…” he rasps, hands grasped at your hips to keep you steady so he can pummel you mercilessly.
“Ah ah,” you tut your tongue to chide him. “Remember, good masters ask before they come inside their brides,” you gloat, feeling that truth, that connection of your blood and your undead hearts beating all the stronger for it.
“Please,” he begs harshly through gritted teeth, his fucking undeterred as he waits for your word.
He slams up into you with all the more force, his face already screwing and twisting with how close he is.
“Yes, my love,” you acquiesce with a dramatic lilt. It doesn’t take long, not after he watches you smile and feels you clench your walls around him with all your strength. He roars, writhing and spasming as he empties inside you. Buried so deep you feel the tip of his cock twitching against the end of your channel.
You gasp, your sweat dripping down your temple as you watch him begin to still and relax beneath you. But you stay, cock deep and warm inside you, his thighs beneath you soaked with your mingled juices.
“So,” you pant, letting your own body respond with its own basking in the glow of your pleasure, as you slowly lower your body to blanket him. His hand strays absentmindedly through your hair, fingertips softly brushing your cheek with each pass. “You must have lots of ruling to attend to now that you’ve persuaded me,” you murmur, nestled against the hard bone of his jaw, tracing your finger through the pooling of his blood from your bite. You bring that finger to your mouth to suck it clean. “I’ll wait for you before I wish to venture out for the day.”
“Oh,” he grips into your hair, raising your head to look at him again, and your smile widens to see the intensity, the possessive glint in his crimson eyes. “I think all that can wait. Right now, you can choose, venture out and then fuck again until you’re begging me for more? Or fuck first and then venture out into the day, my love?”
You giggle, a grind of your hips to drag over his still hardened cock inside you. “Hmm, a tough choice,” you grin, scoring your own fingers through his hair, “perhaps you need to persuade me this time…”
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