#at least smth is going right this year

[daz4i]

hate when i vent abt my pain and ppl tell me "everyone has stomach aches, it's normal" okay but are their pains bad enough to make them cry or unable to stand..... at least once a week...... bc i think that if this was normal society might've collapsed by now. but what do i know

#at least I'm on the way to get another test to see if it really is crohn's or not :') #my other tests came out negative but the last doctor i saw said it's worth checking again :') #bc. he claims. you're never gonna guess it. these pains are NOT normal ✨️ who could've thought! #sorry for the bitterness. as you may be able to infer from this i am in severe pain and having a hard time standing up or moving at all #btw through this doctor i went to i found out i actually had internal inflammation back in 2018 too and i was just. never told abt it. #like i was in the hospital and they ran a test but bc it was for smth else they didn't think to point it out?? #why do i have to learn 5 years later that i had smth wrong with me that probably got worse with time and that's why I'm like that now 😭😭😭 #(i wanna apply good faith to this. they probably thought it was a result of my other stomach issues so it'll pass once they do. #but like. if it really didn't go away and in fact got worse with time. i feel like i have the right to blame them yknow?) #vent #possibly a tmi one idk ajskflglh #sorry. i am very tired

[rubberbandballqueen]

favorite part of work today was when i told the kids to get into two lines, n this one guy was like "i don't want to" n then started talking to his buddy in mandarin, n so then in chinese i was like, "hey, come here."

n he n his buddy looked at each other n then looked at me with like that faintly displeased expression that means they've realized they can't get away with not being that good at english (or feel terribly isolated from n indifferent to the adults bc they don't speak their language) anymore

and then when i told them to line up in mandarin they groaned abt it for sure but they did drag themselves into a line

#i walked in n this one kid handed me a book to read like a big hardcover graphic novel type thing n said i could look through it #so for kicks i started reading it out loud with all the silly voices n sound effects n blocking #and so then obviously the other children started to swarm me and god. kids have so much body heat #n you can feel it bc they have no personal space qwq #n anyway so i led them all to a different corner of the room and ended up reading 15 out of the 16 chapters of the book #out loud to a big chunk of the kids for like an hour w/a 5 min break halfway through for water #and when i came back the kids were organizing the chairs themselves into a semicircle to give me enough space to perform #i was sweating more than i have in Quite A While by the end bc again. children are So Warm n also being dramatic takes energy #the same kid who handed me the book today last year handed me some pokemon cards n i ended up spending all of spring camp #drawing pokemon from cards as references for kids to color n stuff bc i didn't want to go to the computer n print out coloring pages #so! i should probably stop spoiling/“yes and--”ing kids at work w/my nonsense but it gives them smth memorable at least #but also i am so fucking tired today lol i had to leave class as soon as it was done dash home to drop off my jacket n backpack #i didn't even have time to take off my shoes before entering the house so I Did An Unforgivable Sin (walked around w/shoes on) #n then put on my work jacket n dash out the door again to go to my 5.75 hr work shift o(--( #i don't regret it!! i did tell my boss i was free for afternoon camp shifts specifically bc i wanted these shifts even tho timing'd be tigh #successfully taught a kid to tie his shoelaces today though!!!!! what's w/kids n always using the very tips of their laces to mimic you tho #when you are very clearly handling the parts of the laces right next to your foot. it did click for him tho eventually #the worm speaks

[bahrmp3]

.

#my mum suddenly going 'you are not going to do any more piercings right? changing your appearance against how you were created is wrong-' #'you shouldnt do that and its my role to give advice' i told her 'i dont plan on doing anything on my face maybe my other ear too #(and its not like there is anything wrong with lip or eyebrow piercings either bear in mind) but i plan on doing som #more likely in a year to give my helix enough time to heal and instead she was like 'isnt that too much? you will look too ugly now :/' #then she tried to bck track when i told her smth like 'hey at least chose nicer words' with how 'im so pretty! i dont need piercings' #or smth i dont really remember lmao when i told her lots of ppl have piercings now she pulled a sheep following herd card of sorts #i can never really win huh? at some point shutting up is the only best response :/// #personal

[orcelito]

my heart fucking dropped here. Vash compartmentalizing like crazy, and then the reveal of him having used nearly half of his remaining life power...

using his literal life force to give himself time to bury wolfwood and recover...

for His Sake... eat and regain strength for Him...

aaaaand i started crying here for the Fifth Time at the callback to when vash and wolfwood fought over the sausage while eating spaghetti

aaahahaahahaha

and that's the end of volume 10! ahah ha ha h ha

Ha.

#speculation nation #fanny reads trigun #trigun spoilers/ #last image. is how i feel right now. #literally. 5 times crying. LITERALLY i have cried only three times total this year besides this #so now i have cried 8 times. and FIVE OF THEM. were for wolfwood. #(yes im keeping track. i cry so rarely it's very easy to keep track of how many times i cry.) #i am. never going to be the same person after this. #my entire vashwood experience up until now was Knowing this was going to happen #recognizing the Painful Things. the Couch. the 'I wanted to share my tomorrows with him'. and so on. #but i really was not prepared. i reaaaaaally was not prepared. #i shouldve fuckin saved this for a time when i dont have a presentation in the morning (that i havent even started) #it's... it's fine... i'll be fine. #ultimately this was happening NOW and i couldnt really stop it. #volume 10. fucking Volume Ten man. nothing else has hit me harder. #really this is a new record. previous records for things that have made me cry were tales of xillia 2 that made me cry twice #critical role calamity made me cry twice. nabari no ou made me cry at Least once & i was fuckin bawling so that counts for smth #but. five times. tears down my face sobbing Five Times. nothing has EVER made me cry this much before. this is literally insane. #oh wolfwood.............

[piplupod]

me when i realize that pretty much everything in my life has actually only gotten worse since i graduated highschool, and all the times i was told things would get better were absolutely false !!!!!!

#i am going fucking insane. this is so stupid #i had a social life. i had friends. i had a job i could keep up with outside of school. i had a solid routine and schedule. #i had insurance. i didnt have to worry about money. i didnt have to buy groceries. i didnt have to cook every day. #i had enjoyable group activities. i had ppl telling me i was doing a good job. i had AUTHORITY FIGURES telling me i was doing a good job!!!! #i had a place to go to be away from home every weekday!! i had hope for the future still to some extent (not a lot but more than i do now)! #I DONT HAVE ANYYYY OF THAT NOW. I do have friends but not in-person!!! zero social life except hospital out-patient bullshit!!! #anyways the highschool is doing one of my fav musicals that i came THIS CLOSE to doing my grad year #but the vote was indecisive so they did some bullshit that nobody was happy with lmfao #i fucking petitioned hard. lobbied HARD. to get us to do that musical. i worked so hard to get everyone on board #but everyone was just waffling about it. and then we ended up w smth that nobody was happy with #AND NOW THIS YEAR. THEYRE DOING THAT FUCKING MUSICAL. THAT HURTS. LIKE A LOT. A LOT A LOT. #like to the point where i have now genuinely cried after hearing that theyre doing it #that was my one fucking chance in highschool to be part of a musical i actually cared about and enjoyed and i lost it #i had watched my brothers be in these fun musicals when they were in school but for my three years I got NOTHINGGG #it hurts so fucking bad. i had been looking forward to that ever since we moved to this town. and then i got fucking nothing. #and now that im out of there and realizing how my life is absolutely fucked and i have to kill myself then they finally do it. #gallons of salt in the big fat gaping wound. insane. #genuinely feeling kind of shocked. how the hell do things line up so perfectly to hurt me this badly so often fjfkfl #maybe im just fucking pathetic and overly emotional idk victim complex or smth awful #i just kind of want to be done like right now. but i have to wait at least a month before i call it quits so i dont wreck this time of year #for my family for the rest of their lives lmfao #my siblings and dad dont deserve that. my mother probably does but whatever #im tired!!! im fucking exhausted!!! this sucks so incredibly badly!!! #suicide tw

[shepherdenjoyer]

I've been thinking to myself hey I maybe I should email this breeder, just bring up our potential interest in a future puppy and also I guess ask if they think their dogs could have the potential for assistance work, but first of all I might as well have never written an email in my life bc I have no idea how to go about this!!! And second of all, especially for the latter but I could always leave that out for the first time lol, if they answer negatively in some way I would likely not recover (I am not a well adjusted individual and rsd is a lovely little thing). I know myself well enough to know I would find it very discouraging and the embarrassment would probably also make it harder to contact them in the future 🥲

#not to mention i likely will be taking a somewhat unusual route since im not even sure PSDs are properly recognized here #like if i do end up training a dog for that (bc organization trained isnt an option) i likely will have some administrative bs to deal with #and being young and doing smth out of the norm never gets you good looks haha #im trailing off here idk what i was going to say anymore really #smth smth i mainly want to know how tf you go about emailing a breeder?? like what do u say #hi i like ur dogs. ummm. yea. have a good day #what should u mention in a very 1st email? what should u ask?? what should u avoid? #keeping in mind this is all for years in the future #if nothing else id like to meet their dogs at least since they're open to that w arrangements #i would be delighted to say the least #also the SD stuff : if other things align right i wiuld still 100% want a dog from them even if they wouldn't be suitable for SD work #+ theres at home tasks i would teach to probably any nd all dogs we have in the future lol #this is a mess of tags thanks if u read through all of it? i guess? #im going to sleep now #mine

[supercantaloupe]

i guess i just wish i had more friends who lived in this city full time who i feel close enough to that i can like. message and ask if they want to hang out or do something together. y'know

#given that it's summer and also my year just graduated and like. most of the people i know left. #the only person i really know who i caan like hang out with is one of my roommates #but she's out of town right now and has been for a lot of the summer so far. at least overlapping with the time that i've been home #going home to my parents myself or visiting my aunt certainly helps but they feel like. stopgap measures. yknow #i wish it wasn't an exaggeration how much of my social life is online but gd it really is #especially in the summer when i don't have a job or class or orchestra or whatever #and yet i can only get like. one of my online friends at a time to even watch a movie or smth with me. #sigh #i wanna talk about me #i don't mind passing some time on my own but lord i don't like living this way all the time

[arcadian-vampire]

[just chilling in bed when I suddenly 'smell' saline solution + those lil sanitizing wipes] huh. is this a fun hallucination, a trauma thing, or Both.

#pikaposts #medical anomaly blogging #< tagging bc that's what it's related to + what i'm gonna say in the tags here #so. i feel like going to a medical facility (smth already triggering for me) at Least once a week for like 3/4 of a year. can definitely #be traumatizing. especially since it involves nurses (already triggering) and needles and pain i now completely tune out and #bruises. like i have five gross bruises rn bc two weeks in a row i had to get poked five (5) times before they succeeded #that can probably definitely be a lil traumatizing i think. but as of right now idk if it's an issue for me or not #probably similar to how i didn't realize How Bad the [redacted] affected me until i got home and everything was Wrong #i guess i'll find out if it's Bad when i no longer have to deal w it. who knows when that will be lol #it's been like 3/4 of a year and my doctors haven't figured anything out. better doctors keep rejecting me. #idk when this'll end lol. idk if this is even necessary really but there's really nothing to be done abt it rn #i'm just chillin. getting lots of practice scaring nurses enough that they don't scare me #.....oh but the blood incident for sure is A Problem. the blood incident was such a problem it's affecting my littlest brother months later #it's affecting my nurses months later hdkdgdjd #[strikes a cute pose] AOE PTSD!! ptsd with splash damage... like a m.inecraft splash potion of harming #anyways. i'm fine rn!

[cheemken]

Okay since the announcement of legend Z-A I decided to play X again bc it's been like ✨10 years✨ since I played it (and by that I mean, I was a baby pkmn player and couldn't beat the gyms so my sister played it for me so I don't know or remember the plot)

But anyways, I was looking up when you get certain mega stones so I could figure out what I want my team to be and tell me why MOST OF THE STONES ARE POST GAME???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE MAIN GIMMICK IS BASICALLY POST GAME?????!!!!! HUH???????? this is gonna be like gen 4 isn't it? Where I just don't understand the hype for the generation....

Omfffff you don't see the hype of gen 4 too????? Bro same lmfao

But oughghgh I should really finish playing X now I keep saying I would but my attention span is so shit and my only motivation to really play that game is bc of Diantha hahahah

Real tho the megas are post game?? Or like there's only a handful of megas you can get during playthrough which are the megas for the Kanto starters and Lucario iirc

This has the same energy as GSC like you can only get Houndour in Kanto post game lmfaooo

#on my knees begging tho that the villain of Legends Z-A is Dia's ancestor or smth #i saw a post on fb saying that the timeline of Z-A might be right after the war #as it said its going to urbanize and redevelop lumiose #or its set like before modern kalos a few years or decades maybe after the war?? #idk but aughghgh #pls give me villain dia ancestor or give me death #will never give up on my villain dia agenda lmfao #lowkey wanna do more stuff for that au ngl #anyways #im also hype for the tcg pocket ngl hahahah #i always wished theyd fix and balance live but like.. yeah that game's couldnt be saved anymore lmao #but at least w pocket they showed us we can play the tcg game in it too so thats dope! #sorry just really experiencing the card game brainrot im like playing yugioh duel links again hahaha #an ask and an answer #ducydoo2000

[medicaltechnician]

ive complained bout it before but i’ll do it again, its a problem of my own making

i have ostracized myself from my own friend group by getting sick of hockey. And being terrible at online communication. And texting. it sucks, i did this to myself. But i also just can’t bring myself to enjoy hockey as much as I did last year. Esp since I let it fucked my life up a little bit. And esp since I feel slight annoyance at the sport.

Mix in the NHL being shit league atm with its…. positions on things. And yeah, sort of hard to watch the games. Idk. I don’t know how to explain my position to everyone. And it’d feel stupid to cause, i didn’t really talk to begin with. Like here’s a funnt photo I pulled from like 2016

#ker talks #yes i used to go by adam #i need to clear out my camera roll omg its still filled with hockey like at least 1k photos #this photo sums up my entire social life its a little funny #its also funny that i’m extroverted #as in that i thrive off social situations and go insane without em but i dont talk to people #im a goddamn egnigma #idk how to spell that #im fucking hungry again i give up #yes i need to work on my social skills #scary but has to be done. i just idk #i cant do it online in person its so easy #i fucking hate online convos like idk #my dads the same way i think our brains just aint wired for text communication #i need in person or voice or visual or smth #text to me feels super impersonal (?) dont know if thats the right word #but most of the time I find it hard to gain an online frienship cause it idk feels weird #to the few online friends i’ve got love ya to death truely do think of ya as friends #literatly only started doing this online stuff tho like 2 years ago so. #im a baby

[unluckyxse7en]

As someone who essentially did not experience the pandemic and consequential quarantine it is Bizarre to listen to songs written about it.

#for the record no it's not that i got lucky or anything it's just that coincidentally my family's life had a whole bunch of shit hit the fan #in such a way that Literally by the time quarantine was starting I already had left work to farmsit for like 2 years or whatever #during which I barely went anywhere bc A) I dont drive B) no one who could drive was there consistently and C) I was up to my neck #in farm nonsense. #I DID sometimes go out mask up etc but I was a shut in outside of work anyways and then had to leave for smth so far removed #that like it just. did not impact me overall mentally that a quarantine was going on #like family got sick (tho I WAS lucky that no one i knew got it Bad. i'll admit to that much) #but otherwise quarantine just may as well not have existed at all to my sib and I #like remove the quarantine and that period of my life would've basically played Exactly The Sam3 #so I hear songs or see art or articles or posts reference it and I always Lag #people reference 2019/2020 as a Significant time and I'm always without fail like #ik why it was significant to ME but why was it significant to y'all-- ohhhhhh. right. quarantine #v bizarre to feel so detached from a nigh unmissable event in human (or at least usa) history. esp when it was several fucking years long #(and ofc covid IS still a factor now but by the time I could return to work my area had already 'forgotten' about it so no social impact) #blablablah

[cheekblush]

first day back from my vacation and i'm already crying bc of my brother and mom

#i really wonder what it's like to have a supportive loving and understanding family #it started bc of such a stupid reason but it escalated so quickly into a huge fight with my mom bc she has to make everything about herself #i really can't tell her anything that worries or upsets me bc she will always make it about herself and belittle me #like even if i tell her smth as simple as i'm tired she'll be like you have no right to be tired i work so much more than you i'm the one.. #who's tired.... like it's not a competition... why can't i talk to my mom about simple things like this!? #i don't want to go into detail about what happened today but basically my brother only shows up when he needs smth & that really upsets me #i told my mom about it & that ended in a fight with me crying & her mocking me saying are you depressed again? #that hurt me so much bc i was su*cidal a couple of years ago like i really looked into ways how to do that & she just says smth like this.. #so carelessly as if it's joke #i know i'm such a burden to my family bc with my big age i still need so much help but at least i'm still alive... #at least that's what i thought before but maybe things really would be better if i wasn't here at all #it would lift a lot of burden off my family's shoulders.. they shouldn't always have to accommodate me bc of my mental health issues #my dad does the most for me but he never openly complains even though i know i'm a huge inconvenience to him #he sometimes does say things like what will you do when i die though which also hurts me a lot #but i think he maybe appreciates more that i'm still here after everything i've been through.. idk though #i thought i calmed down but i'm crying again.. i haven't thought about all this in so long #maybe if i was at least a little helpful to my family but they do way more for me than i do for them.. #maybe i really am just a selfish ungrateful bitch.... #☁️

[britneyshakespeare]

i think reading the first three shakespeare henriad plays back-to-back-to-back has broken my brain for the last three months

#and i read shakespeare's book: the making of the first folio (2023) by chris laoutaris in between r2 and 1h4.... #april may and june have been highly shakespearean months for me #i haven't read as much shakespeare in recent years as i had been when i first received the riverside shakespeare so i was feeling #some kind of way. wanted to make up for it. #i always tried to read at least one play a year #but now i have a problem. i've read 20 plays and 7 of the plays i have read are english histories #which is too high of a number for my liking. THE HISTORIES HAVE BROKEN MY BRAIN!!!!!! #tales from diana #i have only read five (5!!) of the proper comedies #7 comedies if you count romances as comedies #oh god. i need to do smth about that number #perhaps i should read a comedy before i go onto henry the fifth even though i reallyam looking forward to it.... #that's like everyone's favorite play in the henriad seemingly #idk this series as been really good so far #i think richard ii might still be my favorite but henry iv part 1 had some really great moments too #henry iv part 2 was a bit slow in the beginning but it had a great ending #i also realized i haven't read a proper tragedy since 2020 lol. w king lear #i honestly barely remember king lear... i should watch a production of it soon #idk i read king lear in the beginning of the pandemic so that's fogged up w WEIRD memories and. idk #i should probably reread it someday but right now there's just so much else i want to get to read first #king lear wasn't my favorite when i was reading it but that might've just been. hard to get into bc of the state of the world #i did in fact read it bc shakespeare wrote it during the plague but. that was not of comfort. to say the least #i told myself i'd take at least a month after finishing henry iv part 2 to read other things that ive been slacking on #particularly other plays. i have a lot of drama i want to read that is NOT shakespeare. i do. i do have other playwrights i like #gonna start by reading some plays from my norton anthology of drama and just. kick back

[chaotictomtom]

technically. adam is the body's name even if im kinda the only one out now and. im thomas so i rlly feel closer to that name, but adam still feels ok as it is. the body's name ig. anyway

#DID fucking a lot with knowing who the fuck i am but at least i know this 👍 pog or smth idk help #anyway still find baffling how i kept getting name-assigned by different people and how much they were right #or that time my parents haven't talked for like 10 years but met to discuss *me* after i came out and #somehow was agreeing on smth since they were separated AND IT WAS TO TELL ME TO CHANGE MY NAME TO THOMAS INSTEAD OF ADAM.. #hilarious #that teacher that called me tom too and my childhood friend going after that “you do look like a tom who's nickname is tomtom” #this name chose me that's all!!!!!!!

[tinylittlebab]

HEYYYYY i have a scale and i didnt even have to buy it!!

#i figured there was one in roomates room and i mentioned that i was gna buy one to my sister since shes going to the store and apparently #the scale actually belongs to her and it was just put in his bathroom when i moved here bc they didnt want it to trigger a relapse which it #def wouldve 5 months ago so good call. its in the shared bathroom now. glad i didnt have to buy one and now i can weigh myself. ofc we #talked abt this right after i ate so im not gna weigh myself immediately but i will soon #usually my mom send money directly to me but this time my dad sent it to my sister for me for whatever reason which makes things difficult #im gonna call her tomorrow and ask abt it maybe but shes going to see my dad tomorrow so might be a bad idea. he is getting more erratic #i might not get any of my things back from that house which sucks. knowing him he will probably burn the house down and then kill himself #like hes been threatening to for years. i hope he just kills himself qithout doing any other damges. i want him to die #well. hopefully he doesnt burn everything down and hopefully he kills himself before they divorce so my mom gets stuff from it #tho if he does it after they divorce then it will go to all his kids which would be good. my mom needs the money more though #well. ill see if my sister can give me some cash or smth so i can actually buy stuff. tho based of the amount sent i should get some more #sometime soon so idk. hopefully. shes been reall bad abt sending me money on time and sending the right amount and its hard to buy food #well at least ill have to spend less on it now but i wanna buy a foodscale and blades so. my sister is going with the store with me bc she #wants me to actually go bc i dont have much food in the house. i mentioned what i wanted to buy and she said she can just hang at subway #while i do it so i think itll be ok. i didnt tell her abt the blades ofc. well i guess i can use my change to buy the stuff #anyway. i wanna know how much i weight and how much i eat before i start restricting bc its a very useful thing to know #im at a sustained weight and diet and im not gaining anything now so i can adjust it accordingly

[old-lorarri]

꒰꒰ ‧₊˚𝐆𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐄𝐃 ─ 𝐎𝐏𝟖𝟏 ˚₊· ꒱꒱

─ summary . . . ❨ bestfriends break up but where they really bestfriends to being with? or something more gues we will never know since she moved on to someone who gave her everything he couldn't ❩ ─ pairing . . . ❨ oscar piastri x fem! lando's ex fwb! reader ❩ ─ genre . . . ❨ social media file ❩ ─ author note . . . . ❨ wow this fic was actually so so fun to write it's actually wild hope you enjoy! ❩

❨ taglist | masterlist ❩

Y/NNIE 🤍

hey lan!

where are you?

I thought we were gonna celebrate the last race together

since we didn't spend much time together this weekend

I got us a reservation at the restaurant you said you wanted to go to

lando?

are you busy?

LAN 🤍

I'm with the team rn

how about some time later

maybe next week?

Y/NNIE 🤍

sure

I love you

read

landonorris . 2hr ago

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yourinstagram out with the bad vibes in with the good

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ASSHOLE

I miss you

can you come over

Y/NNIE 🤍

can't I'm with oscar rn

ASSHOLE

why are you even dating that asshole

he can't treat you like I can

Y/NNIE 🤍

well atleast he doesn't treat me like his dirty little secret

at least he deosn't flirt and hook up with girls while I'm around

at least he doesn't treat me like a chore

at least he actually loves me

so you know what Lando your right

he doesn't treat me like you did

he treats me so much better

cuz he gave me the one thing you never could

love

so fuck you lando

Y/NNIE 🤍 has blocked ASSHOLE

─ requested by . . .

anon ─ oh idk if you'll like this request but i had something on my mind for too longlike reader was a childhood friend with Lando and they started smth like friends with benefits (still like friends for the fans and she was supporting him a lot on the races) in his first years in f1 but after some time they ended up not in good relations idk and in some way fans were missing her and after reader come back in the paddock like oscar's gf ((i know it is messy but uh

#꒰꒰ ‧₊˚📁 ─ my works ˚₊· ꒱꒱ #oscar piastri x reader #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 #op81 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri smau #oscar piastri blurb #oscar piastri drabble #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri fic #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x y/n #oscar piastri f1 #lando norris #formula 1 #formula one #f1blr #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 fandom