#because goddamnit Peter! Tony Stark does not use public toilets!

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: Isn't it amazing! Seven continents, eight billion people on the planet and a whole lifetime of choices and possible outcomes and in this particular string of decisions, in this particular moment... it had to be you stuck in the bathroom I walked into so I could pull this pole out of my thigh!

Tony: HOW ARE YOU STILL TALKING!? HOW ARE YOU BREATHING!? HOW ARE YOU COMING UP WITH THIS SHIT ON THE SPOT, WHILE YOU HAVE A POLE IN YOUR THIGH!?

Peter: It's a gift

Tony: WE ARE LEAVING! NOW!

Peter: I am gonna tell everyone you were stuck in a public bathroom, you know that right?

Tony: *sarcastic* What bathroom? You think I use a public bathroom? Me? You're delusional from the blood loss kid

Peter: No I'm not!

Tony: But no one will believe you

Peter: you sick son of a bitch

#this post was a rollercoaster ride #but I stand by it #Peter would do anything to distract Tony from the fact he has a pole in his thigh #amd would most definitely use Tony Stark getting stuck in a public toilet as leverage #what was Tony doing in a public toilet? #that is a story for another time #but it may end in him crash landing right outside it #and panicking that someone followed him #so he went in and the lock jammed #but he can't yell for help #because goddamnit Peter! Tony Stark does not use public toilets! #I will never recover from this if it gets out! #tony stark #peter parker #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #incorrect tony stark #incorrect tony stark quotes #incorrect peter parker quotes #incorrect peter parker #incorrect marvel #irondad #incorrect marvel quotes #textpost #funny #incorrect mcu quotes #incorrect mcu #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes