#been hard to focus lately!

[zarla-s]

Do you get anxious whenever you start drawing comic pages? Is that connected to ending of Handplates? It's like you're trying to find any random activity to avoid drawing comics. And your usual sketches get less and less dialogue. I'm asking because I'm worried and I don't know what's happening. D:

Hmm... I haven't really thought of things in these terms? I was like "eh that can't be right" but then I did a quick look back and it does look like I've been doing solo shots or single/two panel comics for a while, haha. I've just got a lot of small ideas or images I wanted to get out recently. And I've been writing a lot of fic! Which I haven't done in a while, which is nice. Writing a fic (particularly lengthy ones, like the Hell jailbreak or the hanahaki one) is a lot more time consuming than people might think. I started the hanahaki one in early December and only just posted it a few days ago...

I was doing Handplates for such a long time, like seven+ years and all, that I'm assuming the vast majority of you out there never really knew me when I wasn't doing it. The thing is that Handplates is a massive outlier - I never did any project of that scale before, or one that updated that consistently or took that much constant effort. Never! Most of the time before when I'd start a big project I'd get distracted and never finish it, or there'd be huge hiatuses between updates (Vargas). It was super weird to have such a big project I so consistently updated and worked on. It's not common for me! I'm amazed looking back on it all that I was so committed to it when so many other ones fell flat.

Handplates took up a LOT of my time, so with it over I've been doing some other things I wouldn't have had much time for before. Playing some games, taking screencaps, writing fic, web design, little small experiments like all my pixel stuff. Just trying out different things! I don't think I'd say I was anxious about doing a comic page... it's more so that I'm just tired, I think. I was doing these huge elaborate pages that'd take days to finish for so long - now that I don't have to do it anymore, my brain just wants to relax, haha.

The reason for the slow updates on Defrag is really that I keep getting stuck lol. It's not really focused like Handplates and I still don't really know how it'll end. I keep getting stuck on what should happen next, so I keep putting it off. It's just me being a lazy writer rather than having anxiety about doing a page. |D

At least, I think that's what it is...

#asks and answers #morning8magpie #to be fair i kept getting distracted while doing the hanahaki one #case in point #been hard to focus lately!

[hellovivirose]

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MAX (01.06.2024)

Hey look I drew

Trying out new styles I guess

#beyblade #bakuten shoot beyblade #max mizuhara #max tate #beyblade v force #hellovividraws #do we like the style? #it’s been hard to focus lately #hope y’all had a happy new year

[cadaverousdecay]

i’m so overwhelmed by things that shouldn’t be overwhelming...

#among them‚ i’ve fallen behind on drscula dauly for the first time this year and it’s stressing me out cuz i really really wanted to keep up #this year that was the one goal i had for the year is keep up with it. last year i fell way behind when my brother died and it was so hard #catching up and the entry on the 30th was a little longer than they’ve been recently and i’ve been busy and also slipping back into depressi #on real bad and i’m just not in the mood for it and i feel like it’s just gonna snowball #and this is such a non issue. it’s a book. that i’ve read before. but still it’s just stressing me out. among other things #like library books that are overdue and i haven’t finished or journal entries i want to write or a letter i’ve been wanting so badly to writ #e and a short story idea that i wanted to write down but is escaping me and fucking. tumblr notifications #these are non issues!!! but it feels like there’s a timer for the world to end again all the same. #ugh #and i should be able to focus on one thing and get it done! these things shouldn’t be hard! they’re even meant to be enjoyable! but i can’t #get myself to do anything lately #and on top of all that i’m not able to fall asleep even with my sleep meds. #what even ever‚‚‚ #anyway sorry for the rant i’m basically fine

[transmascissues]

my personal life: hey, turns out you might have to go no contact with a very close family member because their transphobic reactions to you getting top surgery in the near future are starting to get dangerous

me: cool cool cool...i’d love to distract myself from being bombarded by potentially life-altering anti-transmasculinity irl, let’s go on the internet and see what the trans people on there are up to, surely interacting with my community will make me feel better

the internet: so basically a bunch of trans people have spent the last few days very loudly defending their right to not care about or even think about trans men and a disturbing amount of people are actually buying it

#yes it is my mom. in case anyone has seen past posts about her and guessed #if anyone was wondering why i havent been super active lately...thats why #hard to focus on the discourse when my irl life is like. imploding #there really is no escape from this bullshit is tjere #*there #im so fucking tired!!!!!! #hope yall dont mind my posts being a bit more personal for a while and less like. General Theoryish Stuff or whatever #bc i simply might not have the brain power to think about that stuff #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men #transmascs

[chialattea]

Nami WIP + some chibi doodles heheeee

#chia draws #one piece #nami one piece #cat burglar nami #Nami #i love women #this piece is kicking my ass tho #like I’m trying to find my style but it’s all #confusing #like what do I want to achieve with my drawings? what do I want to focus on? #in other news I am now cooking as a way to procrastinate #thank you dunmeshi and the bear #I made bread and fresh pasta and carbonara and lemon curd #I love cooking man #idk why but my butter cookies always end up too hard #I’m gonna make some tangerine dishes so I can pretend I’m cooking for Nami #that way I trick myself into self care #anywayyyys #I love Nami so muchhhh #and idk how people have such cute tumblr layouts I don’t really get httml #I’m a STEM girlie but coding? not my forte #lately I’ve been thinking about one piece from a biotech standpoint #like tf do you mean nobody knows what DNA is besides judge and Vegapunk #they know some diseases are congenital but don’t know about DNA #huuuuuhhhh? #anyways I’m writing a fic about an OC funding a science journal in OP #it’s a lot of fun #art wip #unfinished

[prisonguards]

Joel did not put his whole pussy into being an insane housewife and compete to be the #1 Ethogirl and wear Ethos face on his shirt all season for you guys to say his relationship/allyship with Etho was forced just because it was a soulbond

#boat boys #smalletho #I GET trying to make the bad boys extra important to him I GET IT #but this just. is a misreading thats so popular rn its driving me crazy #HE was SO enthusiastic abt allying with Etho even when Etho was jokingly distressed #in general people have a problem with discrediting Joels relationships and Im like. beating all your doors down to tell you Scar and Grian #were important to him in LL. he wasnt alone in LL. #I would say this is partially my fault for people misunderstanding the focus of my alliance metapost #but that has like under 200 notes so its really Not on me tho #prisspeaks #no hate or hard feelings to the people who have been saying this. I Get why you are I really do #its just smth thats been driving me crazy lately. how quickly we forget… #discourse

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts) #that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?' #its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

[inferno-silentdragon]

I think I’m overdue for a HeroMari drawing

#omori #omori fanart #omori hero #omori mari #heromari #do some people still say marihero for the mario joke? #my art #pixel art #i think i said it before but lately all my attention has been on my own original stuff #for once #and while i know i probably should enjoy myself working on things for me #i can't help but still want to also work on stuff for others (fanfics and fanart) #but i need to keep focus on my animations because honestly it'll probably never happen again #where i actually choose to make things for myself #and also a lot of that involves pixel art and hopefully i'm doing it right #colors are still very hard for me

[saruin]

It's funny looking at my cc cause most days I'm 💀🦠🌧️🕷️🕸️🔪

But my catalogue is all 🌈🩷🤡🌟💖🫶

#ive been saying for a while that i want to make more gore #most days i get home and don't feel like doing anything #summer break is coming up so ill have a lot more time to focus on my aesthetic cc #don't get me wrong i love making cute fluffy stuff #but i haven't been feeling so cute and fluffy lately so its hard to relate to the stuff i made while in a better mood #saruin rambles

[ff2-soda-pop]

I'm starting to question if I should even bother with the stupid paper.... I'm probably just gonna fail anyways lmao

#ive been running around stuck on Babysitter Duty for the past three days and the teacher only gave us any instructions on thursday yet #somehow expected a full paper done and edited by sunday. even if i wasnt stuck on babysitter duty she'd get a shitty paper just due to how #little TIME that is to get things done. but because i am on babysitter duty uhhh..... well so far there's no paper #ive been spending practically full days having to take care of my sister and i cant just Ignore Her so i havent done my paper while watchin #her because again: my focus needs to be on Her. and shes incredibly loud which makes it super hard to focus. fun combo /s #so i was like 'i'll just stay up Really Late and do it then' but that hasn't worked because my sister WONT GO TO BED if im awake. i was up #until 4am last night hoping she'd fall asleep and shut up and i could work but Nope! #and then i got too tired to even care anymore #i've tried explaining this to others and they're just like 'ok well you just need to find a way to make it work :/' which is very much #easier said than done! and im scared about this paper because this teacher doesnt accept late work at all for pretty much any reason #and im sure she wont understand my situation. because shes also the teacher that didnt understand that i didnt have the textbook on time #because it was still being shipped and i dont control the rate at which book ships and she was like #'..........okay well you still need to have the book by tomorrow at least <3' when i told her the book had Just shipped and idk when i'd ge #the dumb thing. so yknow i dont have high hopes about this #also just as extra 'make stuff more difficult' i have zero accommodations because my mom cant keep track of my fucking IEPs and they wont #let me have accommodations unless i have that and idk how to get a copy anymore. so i've also been running around with no help in that area #and it's not great </3 #idk im just stressed out and frustrated and i Want To Cry :) #vent

[hythlodaes]

i thought of some dialogue i really wanted to use on my drive to work today but i didn’t write it down and now. it’s gone. 😔

#it’s been hard to focus on anything lately #but i’m back to writing western au #and the conversation feels very important #esp for where it’ll lead down the line #mayhap it’ll come back when i have a chance to sit down and write 😅 #gg tx

[skyward-floored]

I’m running on nothing but spite and a creame-filled donut

#rambles from the floor #I’m soooooo awake very awake wide awake even #least my headache is mostly gone it was bothering me like all last night honestly the waiting wouldn’t have been bad except for that because #it was hard to focus and it was ridiculously late but the headache was the only real bothersome thing but also I think it was keeping me #awake so that’s good I suppose because by the time I got back it was after one and i didn’t sleep for a while after that so yes sugar is #keeping me awake right now and I dread the moment it wears off

[likelylarks]

✨ larks song of the week ✨

#songs of the week #cried all the way home today!! #there is something wrong with my brain! can’t focus on anything lately #like i’m driving through fog at night and also i keep forgetting who i am and how to be a person #you know when you wear contacts too long and they get a little dirty so it’s hard to see and you feel like you’re missing something? #that’s how my brain has been working lately #anyway if jesus died for all our sins he left one behind the body im in #Spotify

[maudlin-scribbler]

I'd like to say that it's just been a rough few weeks but at this point it's been a rough life. It's just that on top of the shit I have to deal with on a daily basis I now have new shit I have to deal with too

#corin's lore #Not gonna bore people with the details #But i haven't been feeling my best lately #Physically I am sometimes in pain. Which sucks obviously and sometimes it makes it hard to focus on stuff #And I just cannot go to a doctor right now for reasons (I dont wanna bother explaining it rn). + my shitty mental health #So I am just...tired. tired of being in pain. Even if I probably just have a low pain tolerance I just. Dont care #Sometimes it genuinely feels like I have to choose between my health and my studies #And right now everything is so bad I can't bother to do anything about either #And I have this important assignment (among other things) hanging over my head.

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

[paintingformike]

its been months and i really am past the point of debating whether mike was intentionally lying in the monologue or not cause ultimately it just doesn’t really matter in the bigger picture and isn’t what we should be asking ourselves constantly...the whole point was the context in which it happened and how he was propelled into doing it. it would have never happened without will’s tiny little “you’re the heart” motivational push. it wouldn’t have happened without the crucial role of the painting or the van scene beforehand and that should be enough proof it was never meant to be viewed as a fully genuine expression of feelings lmfao

#im not going to go into a tangent explaining this in detail again cause ive already done that before #but yeah ive just been seeing posts going around about it lately #especially about the love at first sight part...which should be obvious to everyone that it wasnt true #but i just feel like we’re thinking a little too hard about this when probably the point really was that he was just rambling #and saying whatever came to mind and what he thought el needed to hear #so the nitty gritty details of what he said arent what the duffers put a lot of thought into #they put more thought into the cinematography and the atmosphere and the way the monologue is happening within the plot #as in the vibes of it being more horror movie-ish instead of romantic and will constantly being in the background #the focus on mike being the heart & how its connected to will’s perspective of him rather than anything substantial to mlvn’s relationship #byler