#bungou stray dogs fandom | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mydisenchantedeulogy · 1 year

Text

Kaleidoscope || Ryuunosuke Akutagawa

A/n: this is a sequel to Thine Own Self Be True. I got the inspiration to write it after watching season 4, though it doesn't take place during this timeline. Please enjoy.

Warning(s): mutual breakup, confusion, sadness, hurt/comfort, female reader, make-up sex, rough sex, teasing, mild jealousy, slight public sex, special skill use, and aftercare.

No Minors Allowed!!

At moments like this, you realize that your relationship with Akutgawa is not meant to be. Taboo for obvious reasons, you consider yourself an irrational dupe for meeting with him in secret for so long, especially when unpredictable scenarios pit him against you.

A yellow aura engulfs your hands as you activate your special skill, To Thine Own Self Be True, sending a crescent-shaped beam at the man in question. His Rashoumon halts the attack, eating at the space around it until it vanishes, but it doesn't matter. This is a decoy.

Atsushi rushes him from the side, using his Beast Beneath the Moonlight skill to manifest his forearms and legs. You continue to pelt Akutagawa with aura beams, dodging shadow-like tendrils as the ombre-haired mafioso keeps you at a distance. He knows your capabilities; he knows that if you touch him, you can turn the tides of battle in your favor.

Not quite like before, humorously.

It had been your power that got you into the mess that you were in with him; whatever this relationship was. Had it been one time; one time that you had kissed him or one time that you had fucked him, then maybe it wouldn't be like this.

But it was.

Springing into a backflip, you dodge another tendril but in doing so, you miss his assistant, Higuchi sneaking up on you. She fires at you with a pistol, which hits the asphalt near you to your annoyance. You have no time to deal with her. Indeed, Atsushi doesn't need your help, but to avoid an unexpected incident with the Black-Fanged Hellhound, you intend to draw his attention toward you.

With your aura, you manifest a shield to protect you from the bullets, but unexpectedly, a force hits you so hard in the side, it sends you off your feet, knocking the breath from your lungs.

You hear Atsushi shout your name, but you aren't able to respond, being wracked with coughs.

What just happened?

The absence of Rashoumon bombarding you from all sides makes you wonder if Akutagawa had struck you down.

Sitting up, you realize it's true. The wide-eyed expression on his face catches your attention and for a moment you are shocked. He can't be concerned, can he?

No. It's not in his nature.

You stand up, gripping your side in pain. There's no harm done; it's a battlefield after all. But the unexpected look on Akutagawa's face sticks in your head even when the fight concludes.

–

Resting at your desk in the comfort of the agency, you tap your finger against your knee as you wait for Kunikida to report in.

The job, on your end, had been a success. Rampo had deduced that the client would be hunted by the Port Mafia after the poor soul had an unfortunate run-in with them that they managed once to escape. And as usual, he had been right.

You and Atsushi were put on bodyguard duty, a cover for the real plan, which was to confront the Port Mafia as Kunikida drove the client to a safe house. Once he was out of their reach, the confrontation between Akutgawa and Higuchi came to an end, and the 4 parted ways.

The sound of the door opening draws your attention to the far side of the room as Atsushi enters, giving you a welcoming smile. His long belt swishes behind him as saunters over to his desk and sits down.

"Kunikida is within the city limits," he mentions.

You hum, resting your cheek against your fist.

"So our mission was a complete success. That's good to hear."

You hope that Mori doesn't scold Akutagawa too much for failing to catch the agency's client. Or worse. As much as you don't want him to get in trouble, there isn't much you can do.

"Are you OK?" Atsushi asks in concern. "That hit you took earlier looked bad."

"I'm fine, other than a few scraps. My armor kept me from taking the full force of Rashoumon," you retort.

You are certain there will be bruises on you tomorrow, however.

"It's nothing to concern Yosano over," you add with a grin.

Atsushi nods in understanding. It's silent after this. You scroll through your laptop searching the recent news updates until you feel your phone vibrate in the pocket of your uniform. Taking it out, you steal a peek at the screen to see that you have a message from Ombre.

Ryuu.

An air of excitement consumes you.

We need to talk.

This can't be good.

Sending him a quick response, you ask him to meet you at your apartment, then you put away the phone and return to your laptop.

–

The remainder of the afternoon passes by somewhat fast. You sit patiently in the cab, enjoying the ride across Yokohama to your apartment the best you can.

This talk Akutagawa mentioned is weighing down on you. No conversation starting with 'we need to talk' ends well. But it's expected.

I knew this would never last.

You consider messaging him, telling him that you understand; save him the trouble of coming over, but a part of you wants to see him one last time. The thought makes your stomach churn, but you do your best to ignore it.

Once the cab stops in front of your apartment building, you pay the driver and walk in. As expected, Akutagawa is waiting by your door. Tightening your jaw, you unlock it, letting him in.

"I'd offer you some tea but–"

"How is your side?" Akutagawa asks, interrupting you.

A soft smile pulls at your lips.

"It's bruised as expected." To tease him, you pull up the corner of your shirt just a bit, showing off your skin. "Do you want to see it?"

Akutagawa averts his eyes; his cheeks flush in response but he does not comment on it.

"Ryuu," you utter. "I get it. We talked about this before and I understand we can't keep doing this."

He glances at you.

"Then you know what I have to say.."

"Yeah…I mean I've heard it before. But it's in the past for a reason," you explain.

Sauntering over to the couch, you sit down.

"I do like you, Ryuu, but our work is always going to put us in a position like earlier. And as much as I enjoyed it - whatever it was - you're right," you add.

Akutagawa clears the gap and offers you his hand; his eyes avert to the floor. You know what he wants, and to keep things platonic, you link your pinkie around his. An orange aura connects you to him as you activate your special skill.

Puzzlement… pangs of sadness.

You hum. It's strange to feel sadness from a man such as Akutagawa, especially when it comes to you, but it's nice.

"It's mutual," you utter, releasing him. "Thank you."

With nothing left to say, you watch him turn and walk out the door. Your life feels a little more empty now.

–

The month slowly passes by and your focus remains solely on work. Every minor job that reaches the agency you take. It keeps you busy, but you don't mind.

You find it hard to keep Akutagawa from your thoughts, transiting from seeing him once or twice a week to none at all. But it's strangely tolerable. And ironically, the agency has not had a run-in with the Port Mafia since the mutual agreement.

Things are slowly turning back to normal, however, there is a hole in your life that you can't quite fill.

Your laptop alerts you when it's your turn; the piece Dazai moves is dangerously close to your king, putting you in check. You hold back a groan knowing that Kunikida will scold you both if he finds out you are wasting time with Dazai playing online shogi when there is paperwork to do.

Tick, tock. A message in the corner of the screen reads followed by an emoji of a croc.

How cute. You grin and make your move, saving your king.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, you type back.

Dazai replies with a laughing emoji and then quickly makes a move. You frown in response. How is he so good at this? As you contemplate your next move, a message that nearly takes your breath away pops up on the screen.

How is Akutgawa-kun? 🤎

You feel like a deflated balloon. You indeed can lie and act like you have no idea who Akutagawa is, but there's no lying to Dazai; he knows better.

How did you find out?

You came into the office last month wearing the same white button-down I saw him in the previous day. He replies.

Your face turns red. Dazai is extremely perceptive. Moving your piece first you take an uneasy breath before typing back.

We aren't seeing each other anymore. It's in the past.

Shame, Dazai comments. He's less of a grump.

You can't help but grin.

It can't be helped.

With a single move, one you didn't see, Dazai puts you in checkmate.

Can't it?

What does he mean? You sit back in your chair in defeat. It can't be helped. You attempt to ask him how, but a sudden vibration from your pocket alerts you of a message.

Meet me at the restaurant near the ocean. You know the one.

You raise a brow. The number is unknown but you know the restaurant in which they speak; it's the same one you had met Akutagawa at with Atsushi.

Is it him? You don't understand why he wouldn't use the previous number you have programmed into your phone, but perhaps there is a reason. They could also very well be a member of the Port Mafia.

I'll be there, you reply.

Perhaps Atsushi won't mind standing by again.

–

You stare in awe at the beautiful woman sitting in front of you. Her long wavy black hair falls down her back, a contrast to the knee-length white dress that she's wearing. You've never seen her before. How she knows you concerns you.

A waitress brings her a cup of tea, in addition to your beverage, before she turns her attention to you.

"You brought the weretiger with you," she mentions softly. "He's sitting a block away from here and no doubt you have him on call in case this turns out to be a trap."

Who is she? Her assumption is right. Your phone rests on your lap with your finger over the button.

"Is it a trap?" You ask.

"No. I have no orders to go after you," the woman answers.

She takes a drink of her tea and hums.

"Then what reason do you have to call me out here?" You ask. "This meeting is a bit suspicious considering I have no idea who you are."

"I'm here because of my brother," she mentions.

You raise a brow in question. Then, as if you are struck by lightning, you put two and two together.

"Ryuu? He never… never told me he had a sister."

Her eyes brighten; eyes that look like his.

"It's as I thought. I've seen him with you before. But how long?"

"After the incident with Shibusawa," you admit.

It doesn't surprise you that he didn't tell his sister.

"Sorry, but… it's obvious you know my name. Should I not learn yours if we're going to speak so personally?" You ask.

"It's Gin," she replies.

You hide your smile behind your drink.

"I wanted to know what you know about him," Gin mentions.

That's a good question.

"Not much obviously, or else I would have known that Ryuu has a sister," you admit. The conversation puts you at ease, but your finger remains over the button. "I know he likes tea and I found out the hard way that he doesn't like baths. And… I know about his lung disease - he told me that much.

You frown at the last comment. A warmth spreads across your face.

"You know his skill's weakness," Gin points out.

"And he knows mine," you retort.

He had divulged that information to you the first time you spoke with him, in exchange for information about your special skill.

"But you've never exploited it," Gin presses.

Is she concerned that you will use it against him? As strong as his Rashoumon is, it has its disadvantages.

“My Rashoumon eats through all in its path, even space itself. However, its space-rupturing capabilities need time to activate, so guns and fire can harm me,” he had explained. “Use it to your advantage.”

You hum and run your finger along the glass's rim.

"I could. He told me to use the information to my advantage. But I have no intention to."

Gin doesn't buy it; you can see it in her eyes.

Raising your free hand, you offer it to her.

"If it puts you at ease, I can show you that I mean it. Though I can assure you, there's no reason for me to exploit him. I do…care for Ryuu."

Staring at you a moment, Gin sighs and lifts her teacup to her mouth.

"I believe you."

You're grateful. As unexpected as this encounter is, you are enjoying it.

"You know, I bought a cute tea set with cats on them for Ryuu a few months back since he complained about drinking tea from a mug and he left without taking them," you mention. Warmth spreads across your face as you realize how ignorant you feel for bringing this up. "If he wants them, he can have them. I don't have much use for them."

"I think you should keep them. He would only complain again if you didn't have any at your apartment," Gin utters with a soft smile.

You have no words. It isn't like you don't want to see Akutagawa again; to kiss and tease him, but you can't. Mori would exploit him. Both of you know more than anyone, which makes it hard that those who know, have a stronger opinion on it.

We both agreed… it's over.

You plan to honor that agreement.

–

"I heard good things about it," you retort with a smile. It's much easier than you had expected to balance your cell phone against your shoulder with groceries in your arms. "But listen…Atsushi I'm almost home. I have a few things to put up."

"Do you want to go with us? Naomi and Jun'ichirō are going too." Atsushi asks on the other end.

Technically you had bought groceries for an easy lunch, but you don't mind not having to cook.

"I might," you mention, turning the corner to the hall you live down.

As you do, you are greeted by an unexpected sight. The ombre-haired mafioso you hadn't spoken to in over 2 months stands against the wall next to your apartment door. His empty gray eyes turn to you as you slowly approach.

"I'll um… call you back later with my answer Atsushi," you utter.

Not able to get your keys, you offer the bags in your less dominant arm to him, thankful when he takes them albeit to his annoyance. You hang up your phone and open the door, allowing him to enter before you saunter in, shutting the door behind you.

"Kitchen please," you state.

Setting the groceries on the counter, you take an uneasy breath and turn your eyes to him.

"What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Gin spoke to you," Akutagawa mentioned.

It had been a while, but it was true. You nod to confirm.

"About what?" He asks.

"Boys and slumber parties," you joke.

Akutagawa glares at you, making you snort in response.

"We spoke about you as if you needed to ask," you mention. To keep your nerves in check, you start to put away the groceries. "It wasn't a work conversation and based on your question I assume Gin didn't tell you the entire thing, so I won't repeat what she asked me."

With a sigh, you lean against the counter.

"What are you doing here, Ryuu? I don't believe for one bit you came to talk about your sister. She seems to be on good terms with you, so I'm sure she'd tell you about our conversation if you were to ask her."

Offering his hand, you smile and link your pinkie with his. An orange glow surrounds both of you and a mix of nervousness and confusion floods your senses; the former from you.

"You're confused… about this… about our situation."

"I don't have time for these feelings," Akutagawa mentions. Anger spills into the mix. "They're a distraction; a head full of adoration is irrational."

You separate your hand from his, not liking the intense emotion pouring off him.

"We agreed, Ryuu. I don't–"

"It's more of a distraction when we're apart," he interrupts.

Your face heats up in embarrassment.

"I know… but it can't be helped."

Can't it?

Dazai's words had popped into your head so quickly that it made your body shake with nerves.

"Fucking Dazai," you utter with a snort.

Akutagawa widens his eyes.

"Dazai-san knows?"

"Did you think he wouldn't notice? He…asked why it couldn't be helped. But honestly, I don't know. The agreement was mutual because of the steaks, but when we first met, I knew how much trouble this could cause us, but I ignored it," you explain.

You felt ignorant for even saying any of this. Love is irrational, especially on the battlefield, but you sort of liked being with him, even if it was only once or twice a week.

"I… didn't feel lonely."

You close the gap and hesitantly reach for his hands, activating your skill. A wave of contentment rolls off him, so you continue, wrapping your arms around him.

"Every time I touch you, it's like a kaleidoscope," you mention. Your hands slide up his back; one continues up until your fingers thread into his hair. "So many colors… It's stunning."

Akutagawa shivers in response.

"It would be easier just to kill you."

"And you can certainly try once you've made good on the promise you made to Atsushi," you remind him with a grin.

What feels like jealousy permeates the air at the mention of the weretiger's name.

"You were on the phone with him when you walked up," Akutagawa mentions. His warm breath tickles your neck.

"Making plans for lunch as work associates sometimes do," you state with a grin. "You should try it sometime."

Akutagawa hums.

"I don't need friends."

You snort in response. Of course, he doesn't. You'd feel terrible if you weren't hugged up against his chest.

"You've gone out to lunch with me before," you mention. "Am I to believe we aren't friends?"

"Your jokes are tiring," Akutagawa states with a sigh.

He knows you have a point. You lean back and grin at him.

"I can make so many lewd comments."

An absence of emotions from him concerns you.

"Don't struggle," Akutagawa orders.

An electric red aura surrounds him and before you can react, two shadow-like tendrils wrap around your wrists. You don't struggle as they lift your arms above your head.

"I thought we agreed that you'd warn me."

"Don't struggle is a clear warning," Akutagawa merely points out.

You narrow your eyes teasingly.

"That's such a mafioso thing to–"

Closing the gap, he presses his lips against yours. It's surprisingly gentle for a bloodthirsty killer and brief. You sigh as he parts; the sensation lingers, provoking a gleeful smile from you.

"You're not letting me touch you for some reason. Do you not want to show me how you feel, Ryuu?"

Akutagawa grunts in response and averts his eyes to the floor, but the light hue of red on his pale skin is noticeable.

You feel the tendrils around your wrists pull your arms down and toward the counter. At first, you aren't sure what he's doing but moving of your own free will, you realize he's leaning you over the counter with your arms out in front, touching the wall.

Heat licks at your skin and your nipples harden in arousal. Is he set on fucking you in your kitchen? It's honestly been a while. You're eager but also nervous. This sensation reminds you of the first time you and Akutagawa fucked; the excitement and the hormones. It makes you more eager than ever to have him this close to you again.

A hand touches your ass, but briefly as the mafioso removes your phone from your back pocket. He then slides his arms around your waist, pressing his warm body against yours as he undoes the button on your uniform and shimmies the fabric down your legs. You are left in nothing but your underwear; the cool breeze from your ceiling fan nips at your cheeks, making you shiver.

A series of low taps catches your attention and before you can figure out the noise, Akutagawa leans in again and sets your phone on the counter where you can see the screen. To your horror, Atsushi's name and number are showing.

"W-what are you doing?" You ask.

"You never gave the weretiger an answer," Akutagawa answers.

He leans forward and presses the call button to your dismay, putting it on speakerphone. As you wait for Atsushi to pick up, Akutagawa slips his hand between your thighs and into your underwear, spreading your outer lips. He slowly rubs small slow circles around your clit. You moan in response, but it's cut short as Atsushi's unsuspecting voice comes over the line.

What is Akutagawa thinking? Does he seriously want Atsushi to hear this? He insisted that you give your coworker an answer. Is he mad?

"H-hey, sorry for taking so long," you utter. Your hips arch as the slow torturous pace he sets makes your body shiver. "I'm a bit tied up with housework so I'm not going to be able to make it."

"That's fine. Maybe–"

The sound of someone struggling to get the phone from him floods the line and you take a moment to hum as Akutagawa quickens his pace. Waves of pleasure roll from your core to the tips of your toes.

"What do you mean you aren't coming?" Naomi's curious voice asks over the line.

She has no idea how lewd her question sounds to you at the moment.

"I h-have housework," you retort. An embarrassed warmth spreads across your face.

"You can do that later," Naomi argues. "Come out and eat with us."

You absolutely can't and there is no way you can tell her that a dangerous mafioso is fingering you in your kitchen.

"Rain check," you utter. "I can't–"

"Is something wrong? Atsushi says your breathing sounds rushed," Naomi interrupts.

Of course, he can hear you struggling. Those tiger senses are no joke; Akutagawa knows this.

A sudden gasp makes you widen your eyes.

"Are you having your monthly?" Naomi whispers.

You almost snort.

"Yeah, Nomi. I'm in a bit of pain."

This is a complete lie. Your body is a trembling wreck from the slow pleasure creeping across your sensitive nerves. It's almost too much.

"No worries then," the dark-haired girl states. "I'll cover for you. Just get some rest."

"T-thank you. I owe you one," you utter in relief.

When the call ends, you take a deep breath, resting your heated face on the counter.

"You're evil."

"Were you not aware?" Akutagawa asks.

To your annoyance, he removes his hand from your pussy, but the moment you hear the sound of his zipper, your skin breaks out in goosebumps. You spread your legs eagerly.

Not having to wait long, you hum as your underwear is pulled down. Akutagawa trails his fingers up your thigh and between your legs, spreading you once again. A sigh of relief pours from your parted lips as the head of his cock enters you, thrusting deep a second later.

Surges of pleasure tickle your sensitive nerves as the mafioso grasps your hips, starting gently. It's when you arch your ass into him, does he quicken the pace, pressing you against the counter with every thrust.

You moan in response, but it's much too fast for you.

"Slow down."

It doesn't hurt, but you don't necessarily want to come so soon; you want to enjoy him a bit more. But Akutagawa doesn't seem to care. Something is fueling him. His pace seems almost possessive, almost like he's making a point. You wonder if perhaps the interaction with Atsushi put him in this mood.

"You're not the jealous type, are you, Ryuu?" You ask, aware of how dangerous this question is.

Fingers slide into your hair at the base of your neck, trailing up midway. You groan as Akutagawa grasps the laces between his fingers and leans your head back. The hold on your wrists thankfully releases and you can rest your arms, keeping them at your side as he presses you against his chest.

"You accuse me of being jealous. Of whom? The weretiger?"

A hand slips between your legs, stimulating your clit for a second time. Your body arches in response.

"I w-wasn't going to give names."

His hand between your thighs pauses, earning a groan from you; his thrusts are deliberately slow. You rest a hand over him, activating your power. Mixed with the arousal is a strong sense of jealousy, as you had expected.

"What do you have to be jealous about?" you ask. "I've only ever wanted you."

To emphasize your point, you allow him a peek at your aura. He sighs in response and circles your clit; you move your fingers in unison with his, turning up your eyes as the sensation in your core grows.

Akutagawa's pace quickens, but it's not as possessive as before. Paired with the stimulation to your clit, his thrusts feel remarkable; just enough so that you are thrown completely over your limit and into an intense orgasm.

Your hips arch and your body tenses to the waves of pleasure that roll over you, shooting down to your toes. For a moment you lean against Akutagawa, out of your mind, and slowly coming down, until he prompts you to lie against the table. Lewd wet noises permeate the air as his thrusts drive deep and hard into your sensitive core. You reach and grasp his hand at your waist, using your ability once again.

The intense desperation and need pouring from him makes your walls tighten.

"I missed this. I needed you so bad," you sob.

Akutagawa pulls back, removing his cock from you, and covers your ass and thighs in his warm cum. It's almost as if your words had a desired effect on him; almost as though he enjoys being told how much he's needed. He's too–

A fit of coughs brings you into reality. You know Akutagawa doesn't like to be pitied, but every time you hear him struggle to breathe, you feel helpless and uneasy.

"I can… make you some tea if you want," you mention, turning to face him.

Akutagawa shakes his head and then removes his hand.

"I'll make it."

You nod in understanding. He doesn't need you to comfort him.

"The tins are in the cabinet where they've always been."

Leaving him for a moment, you go into the bathroom to pee and clean up. Once you are refreshed, you return to the kitchen where you had left Akutagawa, seeing him judging the tea set you bought for him.

"Next time you can buy your own," you retort.

"Next time? Have you not had enough?" He asks.

You snort and grab a drink from the fridge.

"Of you? No. My ignorance knows no bounds."

Akutagawa hums.

"Likewise."

"We may have to hurt one another one day by continuing down this path. That's a tough pill to swallow," you mention.

There's no doubt in your mind that Mori will eventually figure it out. But will he ask Akutagawa to kill you? There's no benefit from your death that the Port Mafia might exploit, so perhaps not, but you can't see him accepting it as the Agency might.

"It's going to be rough," you utter.

"I was under the assumption you liked it that way," Akutagawa states.

Your face heats up. For once you have nothing to say. Lewd statements coming from him are strange.

"I'll admit, that was kind of hot."

He hums.

"This isn't going to end well."

"At least we can say we tried," you utter with a snort.

Closing the gap, you hesitantly slide your arm around him, hugging him from behind. His body remains tense but he doesn't make a move to reject you.

"I missed you."

The ombre-haired mafioso sighs.

"Likewise."

It's all the confirmation that you need. Whatever time brings, at least you know Akutagawa will face it with you.

#bungou stray dogs fanfiction #ryuunosuke akutagawa #bungou stray dogs fandom #akutagawa x reader #female reader

51 notes · View notes