#but I don’t care if it breaches containment | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

grippingbeskar · 2 years

Text

had you said the words

obi-wan kenobi x fem!reader

word count: 7.5k

warnings: ADULT CONTENT MINORS DNI (oral m and f receiving, general sexual content, obi-wan is a virgin but they don’t actually fuck but yeah) swearing, think that’s it??

a/n: obi wan i love youuUuUuUu. okay in honour of the show coming out i am finally letting go of this lil thing I made. i wrote it months ago but never felt like it was good enough to post but here we are!! im feeling okay about how it turned out so i hope u enjoy and if you didn’t just lie and say you did!!! also this is inspired by that one line from the clone wars u know the one. okay that’s enough goodbye!

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“This is ridiculous! You can’t do this!” You shout to the Jedi council. In front of you is some of the galaxy’s most respected members, the most seasoned generals from the clone wars, and yet not a single one seems to be able to see reason.

“We must. For the good of the Jedi.” Mace Windu says from the corner of the room, not meeting your eye. Your face drops, unable to comprehend their callousness.

“How could you? You know me. I would never jeopardise my career. This is what I’ve done my entire life! I-’

“This isn’t permanent, however the council has made a decision. We cannot afford to have a Jedi falter in their cause - not now, in the middle of a war.” Plo Kloon says, empathy guarded behind the crushing words. So that was that. All this over one decision.

You made one mistake.

One.

During the heat of battle, you lost sight of your focus, lost control, all because of one particular member of the council who sits in front of you now, saying nothing. Obi-Wan cant even look at you, and you dont know if its because of disappointment or if he just doesn’t care as much as you thought he would. Maybe he agrees with them. A sense of anger washed over you and you see him fidget in his chair, locking eyes with you for the first time since the council called session.

“He would have died.” Your voice shakes as you tilt your head towards Obi Wan Kenobi, leaving his gaze to find the rest of the council staring at you. “I saw the situation and reacted. I only did what I had to - to save him.”

“Had to, you did?” Master Yoda croaks from next to Mace, and you shudder a breath under his accusation, but nod.

“Yes.” The council all look at you, well, all except Kenobi, who’s knuckles are going white gripping the side of his chair, and nod. You bow your head, knowing you are fighting a losing battle, and spin to leave the room.

“You are one of the best of us, child. We know you meant no harm, but this is the Jedi way.” Kit calls and you dont get a chance to respond as the doors shutter behind you.

You were heartbroken. All day you had been turning over the events of yesterday in your head, trying to see a way out - another way you could have saved his life without compromising your career. There was none.

It started out as any battle did, the longevity of the Clone wars hardening most Jedi to become seasoned generals. Anakin and Ahsoka took troops around the back to catch the droids from behind, while you and Kenobi engaged the main platoon. It was going well - even perfect, you and Kenobi working seamlessly together, able to read each others minds, know the others thoughts without ever having to look at each other. It had been that way since he found you on Corellia, a teenager with a strong connection to the force and an attitude to boot. He trained you - in spite of everyone who told him you were a lost cause, showed you the ways of the Force and watched you grow into one of the best Jedi in the Republic - you were part of the reason he took a chance on Anakin.

Either way, no matter how well you knew each other, you never could have expected what happened next.

Breaking the droid lines, you breached their hold. This was the main prize, for it contained the systems that held hundreds of documents detailing the battle regiments of the droids entire army, including exact numbers, weaponry and AT-AT deployments. What neither of you knew was that they had one last surprise set up.

As Obi-Wan entered the hold, you could both feel something was off immediately. You told him as much, and said you should wait for Anakin and Ahsoka to arrive so you could go in together and scan for entities. Obi Wan was convinced there was no time, the droids already beginning to regroup outside the hold. He wasn’t wrong, you could feel them caging you in, but he had always taught you to be patient; to clear your mind before rushing into battle. The role reversal threw you off guard as he pushed forward into the hold.

You still felt uneasy, but you didn’t argue and stepped inside with him. It was huge, monotone walls shutting you into a sphere shaped room, two steel doors that shuttering behind you. As Obi-Wan took one more step, you both heard the click at the same time, heads snapping to find each other’s eyes, and you didn’t even think before you reacted.

Obi-Wan turned and threw himself at you before you even got a glimpse of the explosive. Within seconds you knew he would be blown to pieces, but his body would shield the blast from you and the board of computers behind you, which contained the information the entire mission was hinged on. Time stood still. This is what is was to be a Jedi - to sacrifice yourself for the greater good, the bigger cause, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Obi-Wan looked down at you, and his eyes were so piercing - so satisfied in his decision to die so that you will live, and you felt him through the Force, a warm longing drifting into your heart. You knew what he was saying; all the words you could never speak out loud, the thoughts you were too afraid to have in fear he would reject them. It was his final goodbye - and you couldn’t take it.

You threw out your hand, finding the explosive through the Force and flinging it behind you, right behind the computers main frame. The blast went off a split second later, shattering the entire set up and motherboard. The information would be gone, a shimmering snow of computer parts and wires falling around you. All you could focus on, though, was how Obi-Wans’ hand had come up to cup the side of your face, and how warm his skin was against your cheek, the failure of the mission worth every second of contact.

“You saved me.” He had said, voice a whisper under the still falling pieces of the destructed technology. You just nodded, and he didn’t move from on top of you, reminding you how it would have been the other way around had you acted half a second later, and he would have been dead.

His eyes were filled with an emotion you have seen a few times before, but you don’t know what it is. You only know that when he looks at you like that, your heart beat shoots into your throat, and every feeling you tried to lock away when you became a Jedi fights its way back to the surface.

Once Anakin and Ahsoka arrived, they found you both in amongst the rubble, and it wasn’t until the shock had surpassed that you realised you were both all cut up from the debris. They brought you back to the main base, and you weren’t thinking straight, immediately spilling about how you sustained these injuries. You put Obi-Wans life above the Jedi cause, and even though you knew you would get in trouble for it, you couldn’t hide from the truth.

What you hadn’t expected was Obi-Wans complete silence. He hadn’t spoken to you since you arrived back to base, and you were sure he was just preparing for the council meeting where he would back you, abide by your decision, or at the very least say something. He didn’t. Anakin and Ahsoka tried their best to influence the council, but neither of them held the power to do much. Anakin was still not yet a Master Jedi, and Ahsoka; although she had the attitude of one, was not yet a general.

So now you were marching back to your room, empty halls of the ship seeming colder and colder the further you get from Obi-Wan. You knew what you did betrayed the sacred oath you made the day you put on your Jedi robes. Jedi did not make emotional connections, the order had to be put first, and the good of the galaxy depended on it. You knew you risked countless lives by losing that critical information, and you knew you would be reprimanded.

You didn’t regret it though.

You were always a rule breaker, a little bit of a rebel in regards to the orders strict guidelines on that kind of behaviour - how were you to truly care about the galaxy if you had no one in it to protect? It was human nature to form connections - and practically impossible not to care in the case of Obi-Wan’s life. Did they expect you not to attempt to save him, even when there was a way to do so?

Obi-Wan was one of the many times you broke the rules. You were infatuated with him ever since you met him - he was significantly older than you, yes, although not by so much it would be deemed inappropriate. You were both adults, so it was more your occupations that kept you from admitting your feelings. He found you on Corellia, sacrificed his time and patience to mould you into the perfect fighter, fought for your right to train beside the Jedi even with your training being so late. He stuck up for you your entire life, and it made his silence that much more painful.

You finally trudged through the ship far enough to find your room, and as you go to enter, you feel two familiar figures come up behind you, and a female voice calls your name.

“We were waiting outside, but they made us leave after they called the session.” Ahsoka says, and she reaches out to hold your arm, careful to miss the bandage holding you together.

“It’s fine. Nothing happened we didn’t already know would happen.” You knew they would remove your titles - take away your leadership of your battlement. It was a glorified way of grounding you, sending you to your room as if you were a child.

“What of Obi-Wan? There has to be a way to change their mind. He has to be trying.” Anakin says, shaking his head. Him and his master have always gotten along, and their bond is one that rivals brothers, but you know Anakin takes after you in the attitude department, so as he paces up and down the corridor, you know he’s as pissed as you.

“What of him? He couldn’t even look at me. I don’t think he even blinked the entire session.” You scoff, and even Ahsoka shakes her head, more confused than angry.

“He’s going to have to speak up sometime.” Ahsoka says, and releases your arm.

“He will if I have anything to say about it. Padmè will talk to the council about the diplomatic influence, she’s already speaking to the other generals. We will have you back out there in no time.” Anakin’s eyes are fiery, and you smile at the man who was once a boy, small and unsure now so confident and clear.

“If he wanted to, he would of. Thank you, both of you for your help, but I’m just going to have to ride this one out. There’s nothing I can do about it now.” Both of them look at you with the same sympathetic frown, and you would laugh at how similar they are if you weren’t feeling so defeated.

“For what it’s worth, I would have done the same thing.” Anakin says, and he steps forward. You know he’s talking about Padmè, and you nod, a mutual understanding of the conflicting emotions of the Jedi way. They both turn to leave, and you can hear the hushed conversation of their plan as they round the corner.

You enter your room and fall onto the bed, the air rushing out as soon as your head hits the pillow. The past few days have been entirely exhausting, and you weren’t just thinking about the cuts and bruises that now littered your skin. This little incident has forced you to really own up to your feelings towards Obi-Wan. The way you felt when you were faced with the possibility of him dying tore you to shreds, and the strength of those emotions were impossible to draw up to just an admiration of a friend, or a small crush born of gratitude. You were in love with him, and you had been for a while. You knew it was wrong and you wanted to fight it, fight the feeling you drowned in whenever he was in the room, whenever he smiled at you or pulled you away to talk about battle plans, knowing no one else would understand the way he thinks but you.

It also forced you to think about how he may feel about you. He reacted so quickly, throwing himself on top of you when the explosive dropped, and the look in his eye told you he wouldn’t of regretted dying for you. His Force - the energy you knew so well felt different - like he was reaching into your body and touching everything inside you, giving you no option but to yield to him. The intensity of it - it was nothing you had ever felt before.

It made it hard to breathe, thinking about that. Would he have ever felt the same? He was one of the most accomplished Jedi in the galaxy, surely there was no way he would return those feelings, right?

It was impossible - you and him, for so many reasons, the main one being how you were now banned from fighting, banned from council meetings and practically shunned from the Republic just for presenting the idea that he meant more to you than you let on. One mistake, you said to yourself, but you weren’t entirely sure it was a mistake.

Your eyes began to close, and even with everything in your life being pulled apart, you can’t help but drift off. Your energy is drained, and maybe that’s why after you fall into a deep sleep, you don’t feel Obi-Wan’s presence at your door before he knocks, softly, almost as if he doesn’t want you to hear it.

You know its him as soon as you open your eyes, able to recognise his energy anywhere, but when he says your name, you throw the blanket off and move to open the door.

Dull lights from the hallway don’t show you any emotions on his face. It has to be the middle of the night. His hair is out of place and he looks so unlike himself. He is almost always put together, in his robes and armed with his lightsaber, but he stands in front of you in just a few layers and no weapon to be seen.

“Wh- What are you doing?” He shifts his weight onto the other leg and finally looks at you.

“I needed to see you. The council held me all day. May I?” He motions to behind you. Was he asking to come in to your room, at three in the morning? After what has just happened?

“I don’t know if thats a good idea, considering.” Your voice is small. The truth is that you do want him to come in, more than you’ve wanted anything. To have him in close quarters, all to yourself - it’s what you’ve wanted for years, and you hate that you have to sound even slightly hesitant.

“If you don’t want to see me, I understand. I’ll go.” He steps backwards and your hand shoots forward to grab the wrist of his robe before you can think.

“No! I do.” Damn, you folded fast under those puppy dog eyes he was giving you. You step out, looking left and right. The hallway is completely empty, and you dont have long before the skeleton crew of night guards come back through on their rotation. “Come.”

He moves swiftly past you and closes the door behind him, you going to sit on the edge of your bed. You sigh, trying to get a hold of the swirling array of emotion twisting in your stomach. It felt similar to wanting to puke. On one hand you want to scream at him, demand him to answer for the way he acted, or rather didn’t act in the council meeting.

On the other, you want to take advantage of this time. You have already lost the one thing that kept you from admitting your feelings to him, what more could you lose? You don’t get a chance to decide, because he speaks first, standing in front of you.

“I wanted to apologise. The way that I behaved today - it was cowardly. I should have spoken sooner.” You were nodding, but when he says sooner you look up at him and tilt your head. “When the council dismissed you, I felt the true consequence of my actions. I ordered a reconsideration.”

That makes your eyes widen a little. The thought of the Obi-Wan Kenobi arguing with the entire council on your behalf makes the heat in your cheeks heavier, and you look away, hoping he can’t sense it.

“A reconsideration?” You repeat, and he nods.

“Yes. I was afraid I may of found my bearings too late, but I explained how your actions were only fuelled by your respect for me, and that you would have done the same for any council member had they been in my place. I know how much you respect the order and your superiors, and I told them as much. We have a… unique connection, something other people might not completely comprehend. I explained as best I could.” You blink, trying to take in every word, but you are stuck on the first part. Your actions weren’t fuelled by respect. Your heart acted before your mind did, and he had just lied to the council for you, because he knew it too.

“I find it hard to imagine you had anything to say, considering you stayed so silent during the three hours of my own hearing.” Anger bubbles up your chest at his dismissing statement, and he rubs his hands over his face.

“I apologise. I was - not in the right mind to speak. I was afraid I would only make the situation worse.” His voice shakes slightly as he stops talking.

“So, you lied.”

“I did not lie. You deserve your place, on the battle field and on that council one day. I will not let this incident ruin your career. Not over something like this.” The unsaid words hang in the air, thick as smoke.

Not over me.

“You did lie. You told them I did it out of respect.” You can’t look at him, nerves starting to break up that anger you felt as his voice gets softer. He says your name again, and you take a deep breath, preparing yourself for his response.

“I also told them about what I did. You are not the only one who acted on instinct. I was unprepared; arrogant even. I should have listened to you.” You scoff and shake your head. “Tell me how I can make this right.”

“Look, whats done is done. Thank you for speaking in my favour, but the council has made up their minds.” Defeated, and convinced you weren’t going to hear what you so desperately wanted to hear, you move further away from him on the bed and let your back rest against the wall. He was quiet for a moment, letting you sigh and sink into the wall. Maybe he thought you were going to continue - he seemed to be anticipating something. After a while, though, he starts to fidget and shifts his weight to the other side again.

“I know you have more to say to me. Argue with me; yell at me, if you must. Just speak to me.” He finally speaks. You dont remember ever seeing him this unsteady. You sigh again and find his eyes, already looking at you, pleading.

“You threw yourself at me. You would have died today if I hadn’t thrown that explosive. Do you really expect me to believe you also did that out of respect for the Jedi?” His face doesn’t change, he doesn’t even move. “Because I didn’t. I didn’t think about the Jedi, or the information on those computers. I wasn’t even thinking about myself. I thought of you. I wanted to save you.” The confession sheds a weight of your shoulders you didn’t even know you were carrying, and your mouth is suddenly dry as Obi-Wan continues to stare at you. He goes to speak and his voice cracks, so he swallows hard and tries again.

“I wanted to save you too.” You think you stopped breathing. “If you had gone in first, you would have.... It would have been my fault. I couldn’t bare it; to lose you would destroy everything.” Your eyebrows furrow together and you slide off the bed, standing only a few steps from him.

“Destroy your plan to get me on the council?”

“It would destroy me.” You see it beginning to crack; the fragile glass ceiling that kept your deepest secrets below. You suck in a breath as his voice cracks and he keeps talking somehow. “What you said, about lying to the council. You are right. You know I respect you as a general, and I want all those things I spoke about for you. I want to provide that for you. To think you would lose that because of me - it couldn’t happen.”

It couldn’t happen.

This, the heat swirling in between you in the dimly lit room, it couldn’t happen. It would mean the destruction of both of your lives, and you knew that. You never expected him to say any of this in front of the council, but a small part of you dared to hope he would say it to you.

“I understand.” Your head drops, and you see his hand rise up, and a finger coming underneath your chin. Your breath hitches as he gently brings your face back up to his, the warmth of his skin a welcomed return. This was it. The crossing of the invisible line. It felt so much easier to do now that you were here. You resist the urge to press into his touch.

“I lied to the council, but I am not sure how much longer I can lie to myself.” His eyes search yours for any sign of confusion, or resentment, or anything other than the heavy longing that has been building over years and years of close proximity. However, its you who hesitates this time, although you dont pull away.

“Obi, this - I won’t let you risk your position for this. Mine is already at threat, we can’t - I know what the order means to you. I couldn’t - ”

“Had you said the words, I would have left the Jedi Order.” Your heart flutters and your stomach drops. Left? “I nearly lost you yesterday and I - I don’t know what to do. How can I continue on this path when I feel this way? The one thing that feels right - how can it be viewed as so wrong?” You step towards him this time, wanting to be closer.

“You mean you-”

“When I threw myself over you yesterday, it was because I couldn’t imagine living in this galaxy if you were not by my side. You are the only thing worth more than this. Any of this. I want - truely, I want to serve the republic - the planets, bring aid and peace where I can and protect those who cannot fend for themselves. It is all I’ve wanted my entire life. I never knew I could- that I would want anything else- until I met you.” You bring your hand to cover his own on your face, and he closes his eyes when your hands thread together.

“You won’t have to leave this behind. I swear. I’ll talk to the council, admit it was my fault. We can figure this out, together.” You can’t compute his confession, not yet, not when he’s going down this road of throwing everything he’s worked for out the vat - for you.

“You will do no such thing.” Your face is screwed up with worry and your anxiety of the danger of confessing your feelings is creeping up, but you feel his energy mixing with your own, and he is so calm and steady it makes your hands stop shaking.

“I care for you, too. A little too much, I think.” He smiles for the first time in days, absorbing the heat of your words and letting them sink into his skin. “We- we just need time. We can figure this out. Let this whole thing settle down first.” You nod at your own plan and hold his hand tighter to your face, not wanting the contact to end.

“Whatever you want, I will make sure of it. I will not silence myself again, I swear it.” You smile this time, and his thumb comes to run over your bottom lip. His eyes widen with the contact, as if he’s surprised by his own actions.

“I know why you did now. You didn’t want them to think it was true. Because you already knew how I felt about you, didn’t you?” You smile a little and he mirrors it.

“You were never all that proficient at hiding how you feel. It took everything in me to cover your anger during the session.” You think of how he was so concentrated, looking almost in pain as he watched you in silence. “But yes, I have known of your feelings for a while, although I wasn’t sure if they were aimed at me.” You step forward again, and you can feel his chest against yours, robes brushing your bare arms.

“How long?”

“A few months. My own - affections, however, have been stirring for quite longer, if I am honest with myself.” He almost sounds ashamed, and you want to punch every single council member for making him feel that way.

“If it makes you feel better, I have definitely had a crush on you for longer than that.” He breaths out a laugh, and you feel it on your cheeks.

“Is that so?” You loved this side of him, teasing and lighthearted. It was rarer these days, but it made you feel warm inside that he let you see it.

“Don’t let it go to your head.” You roll your eyes and grin at him, and he closes the distance between you. He doesn’t kiss you, but he’s close enough that if you stuck your chin out just a fraction, your lips would touch. Your legs feel like jelly and you are sure he can feel how nervous you are through the energy you must be putting out, but you never hide it. Not from him. You hear him swallow, and you keep your eyes closed.

Just in case.

“I don’t know what this is.” He says, his honesty making you feel a lot more at ease. Neither of you have any idea how to play this, of what is too far. All you know is how badly you want him to kiss you.

“Neither do I.” He nods and leans his forehead to yours. Now all you would have to do is tilt your head, and you could finally feel him against you how you have wanted to all these years. “We can just- go slow. Okay?”

“Slow.” He says and you can feel him sigh, and then he moves. He tilts his head. You stay deadly still, afraid to scare him off. As much as you both are completely inexperienced, you are pretty sure he has less an idea than you do. You were 19 when he found you, and didn’t become a Jedi until two years after, so you had some time to experiment in that department, but from what you know, Obi-Wan has been dedicated since childhood - something you admire about him.

His breathing picks up and his lips brush against yours. He was right there, all you had to do was move. He makes a small sound in the back of his throat and you cant contain yourself anymore. You move your head to capture his mouth in yours.

The kiss is as perfect as any first kiss you could imagine. It was sweet, no tongue, just slow, simple movements as you both explore the feeling of each other. His free hand comes to your hip on instinct, pressing you harder against him. He clearly wasn’t prepared for his own action again, a moan of surprise vibrating against your lips as your bodies come together. You move both of your arms around his neck, one tangling in his messy hair.

As you start to find a rhythm, the hand on your hip gets tighter, needing you to be closer, to touch more of him. You need it too, and as much as you wanted to rip his clothes off right now, your sense of urgency is dulled by the unknown of if this would ever happen again, so you were going to be as slow and explorative as possible.

You swipe your tongue along his bottom lip, and you feel him jolt a little under the movement. It sends warmth through your entire body to know how affected he is by you, and it only makes you want to give him more. You owed everything to him, your entire life, and you wanted to show him just how much you appreciated him.

He opens up to you and you slide into his mouth, the feeling of him moving against you making you moan. The sound mades him tense, and he gets a little more desperate with his movements, kissing you a little harder and walking to back you up against the bed. You spin and push him back, and his legs give out so he sits on the edge.

He looks up at you, chest heaving. He extends his arms and you take the hint, straddling him and bringing your mouth back to his. Both of his hands stay off your ass, one coming back on your hip, which you think he likes because he can create the tiniest amount of friction between you, the other resting on the small of your back. You keep your arms around his neck and he twists his head a little, inching your hand back up into his hair. You smile a little and oblige him, twisting your fingers through the soft strands.

You start to feel him harden underneath you, but you don’t want to push him. Instead, you just follow the grip on your hip and start to move when he does, grinding against him ever so slightly. He moans instantly, a deep, low sound that vibrates to your bones. You do it again, and he gasps, so you tear your lips away from him to let him breath. His mouth chases yours and you giggle.

“I don’t think I will ever get enough of that.” He murmurs as he kisses your nose. You roll your hips again and his spine straightens, capturing your lips in another kiss. “Or that.”

“So greedy.” He laughs and kisses you again, and you can tell he’s not really sure where to go from here as his grip begins to loosen on your hip. “Have you ever..?”

He shakes his head, and drops his forehead to your chest. You let the tips of your fingers lightly scrape against his scalp and he ‘hmms’ under his breath, enjoying the sensation but also hiding from you.

“Thats okay. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be with you right now. Whatever that means.” He looks up and kisses you again. You know what this would mean, the final nail in the coffin for him.

Technically, its the emotional connection that the Jedi do not allow. The physical side of things is not forbidden, as long as there is no relationship, although most Jedi observe celibacy as a general rule. You have since you met him, it would have been impossible for you to have one without the other.

The movement of your hips is not the problem for him, though. It’s the fact that you both know there is more here than just a physical attraction. You admitted it. This would be breaking the code.

You only care right now if he does.

“I want- Maker. I want to. This is-“ He talks and cuts himself off by kissing you, never finishing a sentence. You look up and laugh and he just kisses your throat, turning to kiss your neck when you look to the side. You stop laughing when you feel his arms wrap around you tighter and a slight scrape of his teeth against the spot that makes you shiver. He pulls back to look at you, and then does it again, kissing and scraping his teeth, biting experimentally.

You can tell he’s enjoying it, and he spends a while moving himself up and down your neck, finding all the little places that make you gasp and hum.

“Oh, Obi. Shit.” Your head drops to his shoulder and your hips start to move on their own. He keeps kissing your neck, starting to suck and bite in the spot he seems to have deemed his favourite. He moans against your skin, and a small fire in the pit of your stomach sparks and warms your entire body. You pull on his hair again, and his hips buck slightly.

“This is okay?” He says against you and you nod and roll your hips again.

“Yes. Yes.” He continues, and that same shiver goes up your spine.

“You are so soft.” His nose drags along your throat and your mouth drops open.

“Can I- Can I touch you?” You ask desperately and he pulls away from your skin, nudging your head up to find your eyes.

“You want to?” He seems genuinely curious, and you nod. Your hands come to his chest and you slide them up to his shoulders, bringing the two layers of robes off his shoulders slowly, giving him ample time to stop you. He helps to pull them off, and then you bring his hands to your shirt. His eyes widen a little at the thought, but you see him try to regain composure.

“Do you want to?” He grabs the hem of your shirt and fists the material.

“Please.” He breaths out and pulls your shirt over your head slowly, goosebumps appearing where his fingertips brush your skin. When the shirt finally comes off he lets his eyes trail along your now exposed skin, just a small bralette holding you from him. You lean back a little so both of his hands can find your ribs, and they run strong lines up and down your sides.

“So soft.” He repeats and you begin to melt into his lap.

You bring your hands to the hem of his shirt, and he clearly is not as patient as you, his own coming over the top and whipping the shirt over his head. You have seen him without his shirt before, sometimes after training he would tear it off before he disappears into his room and you would get a glimpse of his back, but now you were up close and could look as much as you want.

He was built; bigger than he looks under all those robes, and you run your hands over the hard muscle, wanting to remember the feeling of every inch. He keeps one hand on your rib cage and brings the other to your chin to kiss you again.

“You are beautiful.” He whispers, and your heart sparks at the compliment.

“So are you.” You return and he smiles into the kiss. Your hand finds the hem of his pants, fingertips dancing along the seam and he sucks in a deep breath. “We don’t have to do anything. Tell me if you want to stop, okay?”

“Have you done this? Before.” As much as you want to tell him no if only to make him relax, you can’t lie to him. You nod your head.

“Not for a while. Not since I met you.” This sparks something in his eye, and you would never have picked him for a possessive guy, but it seems he likes the idea of him being the reason you haven’t.

“I have not. I am not sure I know-“

“Anything you do is perfect. Just relax, okay? Let me make you feel good.” He tilts his head as you slide off him, and sits up a little to come with you. You just stop him with your hands on his thighs, and slip your fingers into the waistline of his pants.

You aren’t sure how you manage to be so patient with the way he’s looking at you - eyes wide and bottom lip between his teeth, but you wait. Wait for him to say stop, or to bring you back into his lap and change the direction. He does neither, and you pull ever so slightly, revealing skin you’ve never seen before. You tilt your head up at him and he just nods repeatedly, moving his hips in a silent plea.

“Oh, Maker. What do I d-” With another deep breath, his eyes flutter closed and then back open, trying to figure out if he wants to watch or just feel you. You slide his pants down a little more and you can see how hard he is already. You look up at him again, and he’s staring so intently that you feel he would have said something if he wanted you to stop. His energy is warm around you, like nothing you’ve ever felt and it is full of curiosity and heat. You pull his pants down past his knees.

Sliding in between his legs you bring your face closer to his length, and your breath is hot against his skin. His pants drop to his ankles and he quickly kicks them off.

You start slow, placing a kiss to the inside of his thigh, and his hips jolt in response. You laugh breathlessly, and decide there will be plenty of time to tease him later.

You were going to make this so good for him that he will never be able to think of anything else when he looks at you.

You start at his head, kissing him gently. Then, finding his eyes you lick a long stripe up him from base to tip. He strangles a moan, and his eyes never leave you as you take the tip of him into your mouth and suck gently.

“I-oh maker. Fuck.” You can see the way every part of his body relaxes under your manipulation, and a rush of heat floods your body. Something about Obi-Wan swearing, coming undone because of you makes your own arousal begin to grow, but you try to focus all your energy on him. You stay there for a while, gently sucking and letting your tongue swipe over him, enjoying the little moans he makes every time you do so.

When your sure he’s relaxed, you look up at him again and spit, bringing your hand up to coat his length, making it as wet as you can. His eyes roll back at the image, and every time your hand works him his hips buck to meet you.

You take him into your mouth and hollow your cheeks, letting him fuck your face as much as he wants. He was acting off pure instinct, it’s still slow and a little uncertain but he starts to go a little deeper when he feels you moan around his length, a wordless plea for him to take what he needs. A hand finds your hair, not to push you down but just to hold, a reminder of where he is. The other arm supports his weight as he no longer holds himself up, and you pull off of him after a few strokes, saliva coating your mouth.

“How does it feel?” His eyes are squeezed shut and his abs are flexing so hard he almost looks like he’s in pain. You don’t know why it didn’t occur to you before, but he’s probably also never had an orgasm. It makes you want to work even harder, make him feel even better, so you take him back inside your mouth before he answers.

“So go-ah! So good. Stars- You feel so good. How are you so good?” He’s completely lost in his own pleasure and it makes you feel all tingly in your stomach. You try to keep your eyes on him and work him faster, grip him harder as you push to get him over the edge. You keep pumping him in your hand as your mouth comes off him to catch your breath for a second.

“I can make you feel so much better.” You take him back into your mouth, and the sounds of him inside of you are only muffled by how loud he is, moaning your name and strangled cries every time he hits the back of your throat. Small tears start to form in your eyes but you keep going, every sound he makes only making you feel hotter. You can feel him everywhere - and when you start to take him as deep as you can, he hits the back of your throat once and he shudders.

“Wait! St-stop. Wait.” Immediately you pull off him, and you can see how fucking close he was, the tip of him leaking pre cum and his entire body shaking.

“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” He nods, trying to catch his breath. You wipe your mouth with your thumb, and slip it into your mouth wanting to savour the taste of him.

“Something feels - strange. I don’t know wh-” He’s breathing so hard it takes him a moment to get the words out in a way you understand - but you know. You know exactly what he’s going to say, and save him from his clear embarrassment when you lean up to whisper on his ear.

“Good strange? Or bad?”

“I can’t- good. Overwhelming; I can’t feel a-anything else.” He sounds a little worried, but the pleasure is evident in how he drags out his words. He’s worried because he can’t feel the familiar safety of the Force when his mind goes blank.

“It’s- it’s okay. I promise. Relax, okay? I’m right there with you.” He nods rapidly and even though he’s noticeably a little nervous his body scoots further off the edge, closer to your mouth. You smile and lean in, and he instantly falls right back into his building orgasm.

You work him hard and fast, swirling your tongue and taking him as deep as you can. He gets louder as you get quicker, and you can’t help but moan around him as he thrusts into you with less composure.

“Hol- yes, that’s- right there oh gods-“ His entire body shakes as he cums in your mouth. His orgasm takes all the strength in his body and he falls back, arm giving out as he flops onto the bed. He says your name over and over and it’s like it hits him in waves, you just keep pumping him into your mouth and taking whatever he gives you. His abs are flexing every time you take him into the back of your throat and the slight reaction as he stops moaning your name makes you slow down.

His hand comes over his abdomen and you watch as he begins to come back to his body, the rise and fall of his chest becoming a little more even as you slide him out of your mouth.

“Come here.” He says, his voice so low and thick that you move faster than you thought possible. You come up next to him, and gasp as his hands find your wrists and he pins you against the bed, both of you vertical on the bed and your head perfectly centre on the pillows. He looks over you, completely naked and kisses you deeply, his tongue sliding into your mouth. He was a quick learner. The taste of him is still on your tongue, and the mixture of his mouth makes your head spin.

“Was that okay?” You ask under him and he presses a short kiss to your lips and then laughs.

“You are joking, right? That was the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.” You blush at the way he looks at you, completely enamoured. “I want to make you feel like that.” You freeze and all the blood in your body rushed to your core. A look of determination you’ve seen from training covers his expression.

“You don’t have to, don’t feel like ob-“

“Let me make you feel good.” He purrs your words from earlier in your ear and your eyes flutter closed as he pulls your pants down your legs. He leaves your underpants on, and shifts so his body is between your legs. He hangs above you, and the way his eyes drop down to your underwear and slowly work their way back up to your face makes you feel hot all over. He stays like that, above you as he does something you can only describe as admiring you.

One of his hands brushes over your stomach, fingers tracing aimless lines along your skin. You try to stay as still as possible, but the way he looks at you, how he runs his hands so so close to the hem of your underwear, and then slide away to explore somewhere else. It isn’t long until your squirming underneath him.

“Please, Obi-Wan.” He blinks a couple times, focusing back on what he was doing.

“Sorry. Your beautiful.” He leans down to press a kiss to your stomach, and then copies what you did to him, moving down your body, kissing your thighs and it making your back arch. “Show me.”

“Wh-what do you want to do?” He looks up at you and, after seeing you smile at him encouragingly, slowly drags your underpants down your legs, making sure his fingertips touch all the exposed skin they can on the way. Then he lays down between your legs, and looks up at you, awaiting instruction. “Fuck. O-okay.”

You open your legs a little more and let your hand tangle in his hair. He leans into that touch, and he ‘hmms’ again as you run your fingertips through it. He kisses your thighs again, and his tongue darts out to lick the skin there a little bit. You realise he’s still waiting.

“Just- anything. Please touch me.”

“Hmm. You never were a good teacher.” Your jaw drops open and you laugh without making a sound, way too distracted with how sexy he looks between your legs.

“Give me your hand.” He does as you ask, and you run his hand down over your stomach. His hands are softer than you thought, and when you bring one of his fingers over your clit, you let out a long moan of his name.

You show him how you would touch yourself, but somehow it feels a hundred times better with his hand. He follows your motions and you let go, fisting the blankets as he copies you. It takes him a moment but he never takes his eyes off you, watching as each time he touches you right your body reacts, and faster than you were prepared for he starts to build a perfect pattern.

“Like this?” He applies more pressure and you arch further off the bed. Of course he would be a fast learner. You feel him move closer, his breath hot on your arousal. You nod frantically and moan in a loud, long release. “What about this?”

“Oh fuck! Yes, just like that!” He flicks his tongue over your clit. You don’t remember a time you’ve been this sensitive so fast, but then again you’ve never had someone as incredible as Obi-Wan Kenobi between your legs. He swirls his tongue in the same pattern he was creating with his fingers and the feeling intensifies, your nerve endings buzzing with pleasure.

“Need more. Wanna feel you.” You break out between gasps and he unfortunately takes his expert mouth off you to answer.

“Okay, darling. Show me, okay?” He brings his hand up again and you quickly bring two of his fingers into your mouth and suck on them. He never takes his eyes of you, the image of you sucking his cock earlier surely running through his mind. You run his hand back down and guide them to your entrance and he slides them into you.

“Move them- oh, shit - up. Just a little.” You prop yourself up on your forearms but your head drops back as he curls his fingers inside you, and you practically sob when he does it again while returning his mouth to your clit.

He starts slow, and you are too enveloped in your own pleasure to give him instructions, but it’s like he reads your body. You both work so in sync with each other on the battle field and in meetings, it makes sense he would be able to give you exactly what you were so desperate for without having to speak. He can feel every time he does in the right way, when his tongue and his fingers sync up, and he chases the form every time.

Once he figures out a pattern that makes you squirm he goes faster. The pace makes your eyes roll in the back of your head thinking about how good he makes you, and only you, feel.

“Right there. Oh m-“ He takes your clit into his mouth and sucks. If you thought he was loud, you were definitely louder as you cry out, begging him not to stop.

“So- stars; so pretty.” He says and you can feel the heat of his words on your wetness. “And so wet. For me?”

“Yes. Always for you.” He groans and goes faster and faster, his entire mouth exploring the taste of you while still hitting that spot that makes you cry out.

“So fucking warm. Thought about this - feel perfect.” The lewdness of his words make your legs begin to shake and you can’t see - can’t feel anything but the earth shattering sensation filling every part of your body.

Pleasure builds faster than ever and you can’t prepare for how hard you cum in his mouth. Everything flashes in sparkles of heat and melts your mind until you can’t think - pulling his hair and riding his face through your pleasure.

Your leg muscles were sore already and you manage to open your eyes to see your thighs have seized up around his head, keeping him in place. He doesn’t seem to mind, and although he has taken his fingers out of you his mouth remains, aimlessly tasting you seemingly for his own enjoyment. He has no idea the effect he’s having on you, and his tongue brushes over your clit occasionally, the overstimulation making your lungs burn.

“Oh Maker. Obi please come here.” You say, and your shakey legs drop open from his head. He looks up at you, and takes a final taste of your pussy before crawling up your body, kissing you.

“You taste sweet.” He whispers into your mouth. There’s something about how dirty the words are mixed with how proper and polite he always is that makes your legs shake for a different reason, and you pull him down next to you, curling your body into his.

“You are amazing.” It’s his turn to blush, and you see a little red come across his cheeks in the dim light of the room.

“Hardly in comparison, my love.” Your heart is slamming in your ears. That was your favourite nickname, you think. He brushes the hair out of your face, a finger tucking it behind your ear so he can see you better.

“Can you stay?” He shouldn’t. You know he shouldn’t, because if anyone sees him leaving tomorrow everything you both said at the council meeting will be worthless.

“Of course I will stay. As long as you want me to.” You smile into his neck as you bury your face there.

“I want you all the time.”

“Then I will stay all the time.” You both smile, enjoying the simplicity of this moment, knowing it will not last.

“We don’t have to talk about it right now, okay?” You can sense his worry - and you are relieved you sense no regret like you were so sure he would feel. His muscles relax under your words and he nods, pulling your back against his chest so you can feel his slowing heart beat. Somehow - as if it was possible, you feel more connected to him that before. Your energies were always intertwined, but now it’s like they were fused. You could still tell who was who, and they could be taken apart, but together they formed something greater - stronger; and you knew he could feel it too.

You both fall asleep soon after, knowing tomorrow will bring forward a thousand new challenges, with a million new consequences.

You don’t care.

The world could burn down around you, and you would happily watch it, as long as you could do so in his arms. There will be nothing they can take, nothing they can say that will diminish how you feel, and no Jedi Order could convince either of you that what you felt for each other was wrong.

If anything, it made you stronger, and maybe one day you could prove it to them.

#obi wan x y/n #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan fanfiction #obi wan kenobi #obi wan x you #kenobi x reader #general kenobi #star wars fan fiction #star wars fanfiction #obi wan fic #obi-wan x you #obi-wan x reader #obi-wan kenobi x reader #obi-wan kenobi x you #star wars tv #star wars #obi wan series

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multifandomfanficss · 3 days

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A Pretty Damn Good Solution

Egon Spengler x Reader

Prompt: When Egon finds out you’ve been having nightmares all week, he decides to find a way to help you by conducting a sleep study.

Warnings: Nightmares, panic attacks, sleep deprivation, and insomnia.

A/N: This is GN!Reader with no pronouns specified. The Egon brainrot is so real so please enjoy this incredibly self-indulgent fic I wrote to the cope with my work stress induced nightmares. Crossposted on my AO3 adriansglasses.

You woke up breathing heavy, in a cold sweat. You hear quick, clumsy footsteps running through the hallway of the firehouse. At first you’re confused. You’re still out of it and you’re scared. Suddenly Egon is busting through your doorway. His glasses are crooked, his pj shirt is buttoned incorrectly, the buttons not matching the holes. He has a proton pack slung over his back. He must have been in a hurry to get to you.

“Are you okay?! I heard you scream.” He looks at you with confusion. “I thought one of the ghosts had breached the containment unit.”

“I’m sorry. I just had a nightmare.” You apologize, still trying to collect yourself. You’re shaking like a leaf.

“Oh.” He looks at you sadly, taking off his proton pack. He sits on the bed, straightening out his glasses. The bed dips, shifting you towards him.

“I apologize for my appearance and demeanor. I was under the impression you were in danger.” He looks down at his shirt, fixing his buttons.

“I’m sorry I worried you.” You say, sheepishly.

“No, don’t be.” He draws out the o on the no, speaking softly, inflecting his tone upwards to try to bring you comfort. He gives you a soft smile, to match his tone.

You sit in silence for a few minutes. Egon isn’t quite sure what to say, but you don’t mind. Despite his awkwardness, he was still deeply comforting.

“I forgot to ask. Are you okay?” He breaks the silence.

“Not really. I’ve been having nightmares all week.” You begin to fidget with a string on your blanket.

“(Y/N), why didn’t you say something?” He asks.

“I didn’t wanna bother anyone.” You shrug your shoulders.

“You’re living in a building with several scientists who care about your well being. I assure you that you wouldn’t be bothering us. We could have helped you. You should have at the very least spoken to Peter. His concentration is psychology.” Egon tried not to lecture you, but he was confused as to why you were suffering alone instead of asking for help. He didn’t like to see you in pain.

“I guess I thought I should be able to deal with it on my own.” You avoid eye contact. Egon finally puts the pieces together. It wasn’t always easy for him to read social que’s, but he could read his friends easily enough.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. Everyone has nightmares. They could be caused by a number of reasons. Typically mine are caused by stress, but I’ve since figured out how to get a handle on them through scientific means. Where they used to be constant, they’re now more rare for me.” He sympathizes.

“I didn’t know you had nightmares like that. I’m sorry.” You respond.

“They’re handled.” He pauses for a moment, thinking. “I believe it would be beneficial for me to conduct a sleep study on you starting tomorrow night, with your consent of course.”

“Do you really think it’ll help?” You look at him, desperate for an answer to your problem.

“Yes. I’ll have everything ready tomorrow night, but do you need anything before I go?” He asks.

“Can I please have a hug?” You request. Usually you’d be embarrassed, but right now you didn’t care. Egon had been the greatest comfort you’d had in the last several nights.

“Of course.” He smiles, a small blush creeping onto his cheeks. The hug is awkward at first, but you both relax into it. He’s warm and his pajama shirt is soft. While Egon’s presence is always calming, his steady breathing and heartbeat do wonders to bring you back to a more relaxed state. He begins to rub your back. “We’ll get to the bottom of this and just remember you’re not alone.”

————————————————————————

The next night you’d shown up to Egon’s lab as requested. You’re surprised to see he’s set up a cot with your favorite blankets and pillows. He was nothing if not observant.

“I gathered some things from your room in an effort to make you more comfortable.” He speaks, walking around the room, pressing buttons and moving things around.

“Thank you.” You smile. You sit down on the bed and Egon begins to fit wires to your forhead.

“May I?” He asks, gesturing to your chest.

“Um yes- yeah uh that’s okay.” You blush. Egon moves your shirt over and attaches wires over your heart. “I really appreciate you doing this.”

“Of course. It’s no problem, really. Do you need anything before you go to sleep? Can I get you a glass of water?” He asks.

“No, but can you explain how it’s gonna work again?” You lay down, attempting to get comfortable.

“While you’re asleep I should be able to see any changes in heart rate, breathing patterns, or brainwave activity. I can collect all the data I need and all you have to do is sleep.” He explains.

“Seems simple enough.” You give him a smile, despite your nerves.

Egon leaves the observation area and the lights dim. You close your eyes and fall asleep.

About 2 hours into the study Egon starts to notice a rapid elevation in heart rate and your breathing becomes heavier and inconsistent. He scribbled down notes, watching your brainwave patterns until you shoot up gasping. You start to pull at the wires attached to you, not remembering why they’re there. Egon enters the room with his journal and pen in hand. He approaches your bed.

“You’re okay. You’re in my lab, remember? I have to say that was quite interesting. How long did it feel like you were stuck in that nightmare?” He asks.

“Uh I- I don’t know, like hours?” You debate, trying to catch your breath.

“You were asleep for about 2 hours, but you only entered REM state about 15 minutes ago, which is when you started dreaming.” He takes down more notes.

“Only 15 minutes?” You ask, your voice and body shakey. Egon pulls a chair up to sit next to you. He lays his journal on your bed and takes your hand in his. He begins to feel your pulse. You instantly start to calm by his touch. He’s observant of this. He decides to keep holding your hand even after he’s done checking your pulse in an effort to keep you calm. He writes with one hand and holds your hand with the other.

“Can you tell me a bit about the dream?” He asks.

“I was alone in the firehouse and the containment unit broke and I was being chased by a demon. I woke myself up before it caught me.” He gives you a look. On one hand he feels bad that you were so scared, but on the other hand he’s intrigued.

“How did you wake yourself up?” He asks.

“I have like this thing I do if I need to escape a dream. I feel like I’m pushing and pulling and clawing my way out of reality, like I’m trying to swim through molasses until I wake up.” You tell him.

“That’s amazing. From my end your adrenaline spiked enormously. I didn’t realize you were doing that on purpose.” He scribbles down some more notes.

“Yeah. I guess that’s a thing I do.” You say awkwardly. “Did you get anything useful?” You ask.

“Yes, but I’ll have to run more tests throughout the week.” He closes his journal, turning to you. He realizes he’s still holding your hand. He doesn’t let go. He was so excited by the scientific aspects of the experiment he forgot why he was doing this in the first place. “We’re going to figure this out, but until then I’m here.” He smiles at you, giving you a look of sympathy.

————————————————————————

The next two nights went similarly to the first one. You would have nightmare and Egon would remind you everything was okay before sitting down next to you to take notes as you recounted the dream. Your dreams were often about being chased or not being able to save someone. You would usually use your emergency escape out of your dreams. Talking about your dreams helped. It gave you an outlet and it aided Egon’s studies. The two of you had fallen into a routine and it was starting to help.

Tonight was different. Egon watched as your heart rate spiked and your breathing patterns began to change. Your brain activity was off the charts. He knew you’d be up soon. He watched as you tried and failed to pull the emergency break. You begin to thrash in bed. He wonders why you haven’t woken up. He enters the room just in time for you to shoot up screaming and covered in sweat. You begin to hyperventilate, crying out. “Egon!” You cry for him. Tears start to stream down your face. He runs to your bed.

“It was just a dream. You’re okay. You’re safe. I’m here. Everything is okay, (Y/N).” Egon tries to keep his voice calm, but he speaks with urgency. He places his hands on your shoulders, trying to ground you. You can’t get your breathing under control.

“I- I couldn’t get out! I couldn’t get out! I was stuck and I couldn’t get out!” You’re speaking a mile a minute.

“(Y/N), look at me. You’re awake now. You’re safe. I won’t let anything hurt you. I need you to try to breathe with me. (Y/N), what’s three things that you can see?” He asks, trying to bring your focus back to reality.

“I can’t” You sob, unable to focus.

“Yes, you can. What’s three things you can see?” He repeats.

“I see your journal. It’s in the chair.” You try.

“Good that’s two things.” He smiles.

“Your pen is on the floor.” You continue.

“I dropped it when I rushed in to check on you. What’s two things you can hear?” He asks.

“The clock is ticking really loudly and- and I can hear… the heater is on.” You tell him, listening closely.

“Good. What’s one thing you can touch?” He asks.

“Can I touch you?” You ask, hesitantly.

“Yes, thank you for asking.” He smiles. You grab his hand, beginning to trace all the lines and wrinkles on it. You learn every detail of his fingerprints. Tracing the indents and following the patterns comforts you.

“Are you feeling a bit better?” He asks.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I’m just having one of those moments where it’s hard to tell what’s real and what‘s fake. I woke up from a nightmare, but it was just another nightmare. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a dream inside of a dream before. I thought that was just in movies.” You keep tracing his hand.

“No, it’s real unfortunately, but so am I and so are you. This is real.” He gestures between you. Part of himself means that the two of you are real and your interaction is real, but another part of him meant something different. The care you have for each other is real too, very real.

“I hate that I’m still tired. I don’t wanna go back to sleep, but I know I have to.” You sigh.

“Would it make you feel better if I stayed in here with you?” He asks. While he’d usually be too awkward to ask this, his solution is based in science. All of his research points to his presence being a comfort. This gave him more confidence.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” You hope you’re not being an inconvenience.

“If I minded I wouldn’t have offered. I want you to feel like you’re not alone.” He gives your hand a squeeze.

“I think that would help me a lot actually.” You start to shift, laying back down in bed. Egon gets up to turn the light back off, kicking off his shoes and lab coat before getting back into bed with you.

“I figured it might.” He smiles. He always loved when his scientific theories were proven right, especially one that benefited both of you so much. It brought both of you comfort to be in each other’s arms. Egon’s presence was enough for you to sleep soundly for the rest of the night and he was happy to know that you felt safe and calm. Even if it was only a temporary solution to your problems, it was still a pretty damn good solution.

“Goodnight, Egon.”

“Goodnight, (Y/N).”

#egon spengler oneshot #egon spengler fanfiction #egon spengler imagines #egon spengler fanfic #egon spengler x reader #egon spengler #harold ramis #Harold Ramis fanfiction #Harold Ramis fanfic #ghostbusters #ghostbusters oneshot #ghostbusters x reader #ghostbusters imagine #ghostbusters fanfic #ghostbusters fanfiction

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chalkrevelations · 10 months

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There are things I say to my partner in the privacy of our living room when I’m blowing off steam that I would never in my life say to friends or other family members or bosses or work colleagues or fellow community members. I do this not because I’m two-faced but because I’m human. I get frustrated, but I’m also a grownup who realizes that my frustrations and fears in that moment are not the entirety of who I am. I have a right to express them, but I do not have the right to inflict them on the people who would be hurt by them. That’s why those conversations happen in private, in a safe space of trust, where my relationship allows me to show my partner parts of me that aren’t perfect and allows my partner to show me that I don’t have to be perfect in order to deserve to be cared about. I get support through my petty moments until I can be a better person.

This latest attack on Build is a horrifying violation of privacy and trust that leaves me feeling literally nauseated. I once again reiterate that I don’t trust third-hand amateur fan translation to be accurate and contextual, particularly given the provenance of the material, but Build himself is apparently distressed enough by at least some part of the material to make a public apology. So, that being out there, I will say: This was a private matter that should have stayed private, out of respect for everyone involved. Whatever was actually said is nobody’s business except Build’s and now, unfortunately, any named individuals who this was inflicted on and who may have been hurt by it. Which, rest assured, was the intention - to hurt not only Build with this, but also, particularly, Apo and Bible, both of whom Poi has shown her dislike of and ill-will toward in the past. I suspect some people also don’t know how abuse works, and it shows, given that what was purportedly said is a reflection of Poi’s own views back at her.

Whatever the context, I see that purity cancel culture still insists on freezing people in amber in their worst moments - without recognition of any capacity for change or growth - as long as it provides ammunition for a smug, gleeful Particicution. You’re stuck on some unkind things Build supposedly said more than a year ago? Let me tell you what I’ll remember for the rest of my life: The small, broken sound of Build’s voice just a few months ago as he tried to protect Bible and Bible’s career from a sociopath, in a telephone call that he felt he needed to secretly record as evidence of how he was being manipulated and abused.

Meanwhile, I see that swathes of KP fandom continue to be complicit in Poi’s campaign of public and dehumanizing abuse of him, which now includes not only borderline revenge porn, but separating him from his friends and isolating him. This is what abuse looks like. It’s happening in front of your eyes. Do you even care? Do you actually, legitimately care about abuse, or is it just a tool for you to use to win petty shipwars and make yourself feel righteous? Because here it is. Take a good look. This is a textbook play. And if you’re participating in reposting those screenshots of private conversations and mocking Build’s relationships and spreading vituperative language about him and acting like he deserves to have his life and career destroyed, you’re enabling an abuser. You are aiding and abetting her, as the very scenario she threatened him with - in order to maintain access to him, to keep him under control and compliant - continues to get spun out. YOU are a bully and a hypocrite and an abuser, helping to prove that the most dangerous time for an abuse victim is when they leave.

But I guess some victims do have to be perfect, huh?

(ETA: 7/18/23, 1520 - This post is being linked on Twitter by @cherryluminary with my permission. I'm not over there, but I increasingly feel like it's important to name what's happened, and continues to happen, to Build online as what it is - abuse. Similar to to my last post that breached containment, I'm going to ask people to remember that the behavior of Build's fans reflects on him - however fair that may or may not be - and should remain above reproach. I understand being angry - I'm angry, and at more people than I've discussed publicly, at this point. But if I find out you've been descending anywhere near the level of the ugly little sociopath in my inbox who openly admitted they want Build to kill himself, I'll block you.)

#build jakapan #do NOT show your ass in my inbox or anonymous will be turned off

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ijumpbridges · 7 months

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Scp x Child!Reader

This is platonic, dont get yourself confuse.

Looking at all of you proshitters

(Ft. 035, 049, 073, 076, 682, Deleted Bright it can be found on wattpad, Dr Celf, Kondraki, Glass)

Scp 035:

'They good with kids, but don't let them babysit them"~

He is good kids, but bad a babysitting them.

One time he left in the middle of breach thinking you were behind him.

He hella freak out when he turned around and didn't see you.

But a good think is that he is really protective of you and othe scp kids too.

When he expires from a host he worries and tries to hurry you up to get a host because he really is scared something happening to you and not being able to protect you.

He is also a bit of a bad influence, he does stuff like curse infront of you which some of the foundation members dont like even though some of them do the same thing + plus sometimes treat you really shitty.

They kinda have like mood swings too sometimes, so there will be times that he doesn't feel in the mood of you either being around them, or not wanting to play with you or just someone to listen to him.

This doesn't happen a lot cuz you guys don't see each other a lot, but it rarely happens.

But still he is okey.

Scp 049:

Now, he is great with kids, but his problem is that he cannot control himself around you or other scp kids.

If you are immortal or you can regenerate you are fine, but if you are not then you are not safe with him.

Don't get me wrong he is really good with kids, but also cannot take care of them.

He is like 035 they spend some time with you, but can't stay long or babysit you.

Let's remember he goes crazy the moment someone, sniff, cough, sneeze, etc... And even if fall down and you are still fine he chases after.

Because he thinks something is wrong, and he needs to fix it, to cure it and he won't stop himself on doing so.

He will do it, he will try to fix you, but when he realizes he cannot do it himself he breaks down.

He sits in a corner crying because he did something bad to you he hurted you and it was the first time he did it.

He knows it isn't good and he feels bad about it.

Even if he harms you he still apologizes about it.

He is good with kids, he is also protective in a breach he would never leave you alone, might even lock you in his cell with him and other scp kids so nothing bad happens.

Overall he is good with kids, but cannot babysits them cuz he harms them.

Scp 073:

He is good kids and a good babysitter.

If you dont like vegetables you can purposely go near him and say that they got rotten.

He reads books to all of you.

Sometimes he lets all of you go out for a walk around the facility.

He keeps yall save too in case of a breach.

But his bad thing is that he cannot always be there for you.

You see even if Cain takes care of you, looks out for you, but he is never there, he is a busy man, cuz he does a lot of favors for the foundation to the point that your meetings end that you guys have.

If he doesn't know you at all he makes awkward conversations with you, but he slowly tries to make less awkward.

He tries his best on making a small connection with you.

But still isn't always there for you.

Scp 076:

No.

Just no.

Look, i cannot say he is good, but i cannot say he is bad with them i guess tries, but does not do a good job at it.

Let me remind y'all that he did hit scp 134 because of a fit of a rage, cuz she was too 'slow'. (Y’all don’t know how much i hate him for doing that)

So him with a kid is just no.

More cuz of his anger issues he causes a lot of breaches.

If he was with you, he wouldn't open up to you at all.

But he would definitely keep you and the other scp kids safe.

But if he is the one causing the breach he wont contain himself and might try to harm you himself.

And when he realizes this he will start avoiding all of you.

To the point that he sees you and he is like stray out leaving.

So yeah, not good at all.

Scp 682:

What kind of child are you to let this lizard just simoly leave you alone.

Cuz he is hostile to children, you must be someone hated like abby to be around him.

He would protect you and also causes breaches with you.

He isn't good, but he is patient i wouldn't say he is a good influence.

He doe and wilm manipulate to do some thing for him.

He tries to make a relationship with him and to make you go against the foundation.

Either way you don't get to see him a lot.

He also intimate you and more when he is mad.

You can ride his back and he lest you use him for playtime, like putting him a some nail polish on his... nose?

Overall this lizard will give you some trauma.

(Deleted Bright - it still can be found on my wattpad)

Dr. Clef:

He is in the middle.

He can be really good and really bad the same time.

Let me remind you that he killed 239.

So he has no mercy on you in case if he tries something.

Such as a cruel prank or simply kill you.

Babysitting is not his thing, he will try to carry you and will slip away from him.

And then he doesn't know what to do.

He will definitely leave you at a random corner.

Might not protect you.

Definitely do not trust this man.

He brings you a snack and levaes you in a safety zone.

Also bad influence.

Overall no, just no.

Dr. Kondraki:

He is okey with kids.

But babysitting them is a no-no.

You don't want an alcoholic taking care of you.

Even sober he cannot take care of you.

Although he would protect you from something happening to you.

When he is also drunk he asks you to buy him a tampon.

He does really dumb stuff when drunk.

He might even confuse you with anything that he grabs.

He could grab even air and think.

Had tried to give you alcohol.

"Last night at 10am i went to put on my shoes cuz i needed to go to the cafeteria to buy a sword, but them when i went in i remembered that they dont sell sheets so that's why the president is a robot"

Overall another no.

Dr. Glass:

He tries his best.

He is a good Caretaker.

Of course he is cuz he is a therapist and also a retired agent.

So, that mean he can keep you safe.

He will give you some activities to do.

He gives you some snacks.

He also tries to check on you too.

In a breach he is able to protect you.

He tries to engage with you.

But he will not tolerate an attitude.

So behave.

And i mean it.

He might seen sweet and kind, but he has a really bad side so behave.

Overall he really is good someone not to worry about in case of taking care of a child.

---

I feel kinda did this a little sad, while also listening to bimbo y2k music. Im living the best life.

#scp x reader #scp 035 x reader #scp 049 x reader #scp 073 x reader #scp 076 x reader #scp 682 x reader #dr clef x reader #dr kondraki x reader #dr glass x reader

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anonymous-rendezvous · 6 months

Text

Dancing in Red

❤️ Vox Akuma x GN!Reader

✦ — Written by Mod S 👿. Beta Read and Edited by Mod I ✨.

✧ — Contains: Established Relationship, fluff, NSFW 🔞, semi vanilla, light dirty talk, & multiple rounds

✦ — Word count: 13k+ | Ao3

Intimate moments with your demon lover, Vox Akuma, weren’t far between. Him being as affectionate of an individual as he is. The two of you have been dating for a while, yet you haven’t tried taking anything further in your relationship. That may change when you ask to visit his home for the first time.

Mod S 👿: There needs to be more soft Vox, so I’ve taken matters into my own hands. Enjoy this 13k mountain of softness and smut.

Reference for his room, and we semi-reference the first few minutes of his first date scenario.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

The trees and scenery around you passed in a blur as you drove down the long road. “Come on, me.” Your grip tightened around the steering wheel. “Don’t be so nervous. Your boyfriend has invited you over to his house for the first time. No need to panic.” It took a few moments before your own words seemed to process in your head. “Oh god–” Your eyes widened and your breath caught in your throat. “I’m going over to his house for the first time!” Quickly and carefully, you pull over to the side of the road, putting the car into park so you could get your breathing under control. Once you start to calm down, you can’t help but chuckle at yourself. Putting the car back into drive, you continued on your way.

Although slightly ridiculous, you felt valid in your feelings of nervousness.

Vox Akuma, voice demon and clan leader of the former Akuma clan, was your boyfriend. As fierce as he is as a demon, he still manages to maintain an incredibly soft and comforting demeanor. Always the first to give encouraging words to those he cares about. When you think about it, it was truly inevitable that you’d fallen for him all those months ago.

The previous times the two of you had spent time together, it was either out in public or in the comfort of your own home. When you had questioned him about it, the demon had explained that he’d wanted you to be comfortable and feel safe when you were together. As a result, you had never visited his home before; waiting till he knew you’d be comfortable. It hadn’t been until last week when you breached the subject that he knew for sure. Asking if he would be okay with you finally gracing his home. Vox seemed ecstatic at the idea, giving you a designated hour and everything. Said he needed time to make his house as welcoming as possible for you. The concept was incredibly sweet, which only caused the butterflies in your stomach to double.

You took in one final deep breath as you watched his house come into view. Even from a distance, you could tell the building was very intricate on the outside. A large garden encompassing the front with a lovely bench placed on his front porch. It was very traditional Japanese in appearance. Which made sense, of course, with him originally hailing from Japan. Though you still couldn’t help but think it was immensely fitting. Parking your vehicle in the driveway, you text Vox about your arrival. Sliding your phone back into your pocket and exit the car, locking it as you make your way up to the front door.

As you approach the door, your hand raises, fully prepared to knock when the door suddenly opens. Your eyes widen slightly as you watch your demon lover casually lean against the door frame; almost like he had been waiting for you. A gentle smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, eyes dancing with delight. “Hello love, I hope the drive here wasn’t too hectic.” His voice was deep and smooth like always, but there was a sweetness in his tone that he reserved only for you. Vox opens the door wider, stepping aside so you have room to enter his home.

The surprise melts away quickly as you offer him a smile, shaking your head fondly. “It was a pleasant drive, actually. The forest on the way here is very pretty.” You stepped inside as you spoke. After shutting the door, he helped you remove your coat, hanging it on the coatrack beside the door. Slipping your shoes off before setting them away, out of the way next to the door as he responds.

“I’m glad it wasn’t a hassle. I admit, one reason I was hesitant to invite you is because my home is fairly out of the way.” He reached out to place his hand gently on your arm, silently asking you to follow him. You give him another smile in silent acceptance, allowing him to guide you further into his home as you continue to converse.

“Well, since you make the effort to come all the way to my house, I should make the effort to come to see you as well. It’s a two-way street Vox.” He smiled at you so warmly that you swear you felt the heat radiate onto your face. Or maybe that was just you getting flustered. Unable to hold his gaze, you look away bashfully. Vox can’t help but chuckle at your reaction. He had merely smiled at you and you were already embarrassed. ‘Utterly adorable,’ he thought to himself.

However, instead of teasing you about it, as he typically would, he just leads you to his living room. As this was your first time here, you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander, taking in all the furniture and decor. It wasn’t long before you noticed that he had two mugs, presumably with tea, sitting out on the coffee table. Ready for both your enjoyment as they steamed lightly. What truly caught your eye, though, was the controllers next to them.

Unable to help yourself, you playfully roll your eyes. “I didn’t think you were gonna invite me over just to kick my ass, babe.” Your lips twitch as you attempt not to smile, keeping your fax seriousness. “That’s pretty ruthless.”

Vox pauses before chuckling, shifting his hand from your arm to lightly pat your shoulder. “It’s only me kicking your ass if you suck today~,” He only laughs harder as you turn to pout at him.

“You’re lucky I like you.” You grumble, lightly smacking his arm.

“Yes, I’m very lucky indeed.” He leaned over to plant a small peck on your temple. His giggling picks back up when you make a sound equivalent to a keyboard smashing. With an embarrassed huff, you quickly stride toward the couch and drop down on it. God, he can be so infuriating. This can’t be good for your heart. As you reach for one mug, Vox takes a seat beside you, making himself comfortable. He picks up his mug, taking a drink before speaking again. “Don’t worry about being bad at any of the games we’re playing.” He takes another sip before looking over at you with a teasing smirk. “If I really wanted to teach you a lesson, I’d have put in ‘Smash’.” He sets his mug back down on the table before picking up the controllers.

Setting your mug down, you accept the controller he offers to you. “If you did, I would think I had done something wrong.” Both of you laugh at that. As he gets the system set up, you take the opportunity to settle further into the couch. With a tilt of your head, you watch him for a moment before asking, “So… what are we playing? We rarely play co-op games.”

Before he could answer, the game popped up on the screen. ‘Clubhouse Games’. A decent collection of some classic games. Vox leans back with you, slightly scooting closer to you as he did. “I’ll let you pick the games. I just want you to have fun while you're over here.” You couldn’t help the way your expression softens, yet another smile tugging at your lips. He was so sweet. Even when he teases you, he wants to make sure that you were still having a good time. Not that this was abnormal behavior for your boyfriend. No matter how much he teased, taunted, or egged on those he was close to, he never wanted to push to a point where any of you were genuinely not enjoying yourselves. Not for the first time, the nagging thought prodded at your subconscious that you had yet to find a way to repay him for all the kindness he has shared with you.

Though knowing the demon as you do, he’d likely say your company was repayment enough. Some way or another, you would still find a way to return his love in full.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Time passes quickly as the two of you have fun. Neither of you realize how late it was getting; the room getting darker as evening crept around the corner. Your only indication of the time is when your phone alarm sounds, causing the two of you to pause. You finish stretching before leaning down to retrieve your phone. Sitting in the same position for so long has started to cause your back to ache. It’s only when reading the time on the alarm that you realize how late it’s gotten. “Oh, crap…” You had set an alarm reminder for when you should probably leave. You still had a work-related project to finish. Even though there was still a lot of time before it was due to turn in, you wanted to finish it quickly so you could spend your time on other things. Turning off the alarm, you couldn’t help but feel this sinking sensation in your heart. ‘I… I don’t want to leave yet…’ you thought with a sigh. A warm hand resting on your shoulder snaps you out of your thoughts.

“Everything okay, love? Is it for something important?” His golden eyes were warm, yet you could tell he was thinking the same as you. Vox didn’t want you to leave either, which only made the decision to leave harder.

“It’s fine. I had set that for a work thingy. So I should… probably go soon. I still gotta cook something for dinner and then–” The more you thought about work, the tenser you got. You had so much to do and, jeez, you just did not want to do it. Not today. Why did you constantly try to make yourself as busy as possible?

Vox could feel the way your shoulders tensed beneath his hand. Shifting his hand from your shoulder to your arm, he began rubbing gentle circles with his thumb. “My dear, you know better than anyone that I can make you dinner. Not an issue at all. Plus, if I’m being frank with you…” He pauses for a moment before continuing, “I don’t want you to depart just yet. And,” he brought his other hand up to caress your chin, gently coaxing you to look at him, “I don’t think you want to either.”

Your lips trembled slightly as a lump formed in your throat. Exhaling, you avert your eyes from him. “Your way too good at reading me,” you sigh, albeit fondly, “but yeah I… I don’t wanna go. Not yet. I mean, I gotta milk how comfy your furniture is before I leave.” You joke in hopes of stopping the butterflies ever-rising in your stomach from how naturally romantic he is. His gaze was already fairly intense on a normal basis – maybe that just comes with being a demon – but it always caused you to feel a mixture of emotions.

Vox smiles and removes his hands from you, turning to collect your mugs. As he stands from the couch, he lingers, tilting his head as he looks over at you. “You know,” He seems to hesitate for a second, wetting his lips before continuing, “I wouldn’t mind you staying the night. Like I said earlier, my house is fairly out of the way. I don’t want you stressing yourself while driving so far when it’s pitch black.” There's a slight shift in his expression. His eyes lidded as his lips quirked in a faint smirk. “My bed is enormous enough for two.” His tone shifted with his last sentence. If you had thought longer on it, you likely would have caught on to the implications of his words. Yet, you were too worried about inconveniencing him to pick up on it.

“Oh Vox, I couldn’t–I don’t want to–” He gently interrupts before you could speak any further.

“Love, it’s okay. If it was inconvenient, I would just drive you home myself. I’m okay with you staying in my home.” Mouth opening and closing a few times, you can’t think of a solid argument. You huff, unable to stop yourself from pouting up at him. The demon chuckled at your expression, eyes filled with love. “If you’d like–” he gestures towards the corridor– “you can go rummage through my closet for some clothes to sleep in. I’ll get started on a quick meal for us.” Still unable to verbally respond, you give him a nod before scurrying your way to his room.

Though not even a second later, you re-entered the room. “Umm… which one is your room?” The laughter that pulled from Vox was boisterous. Once he gives you the directions, you make a hasty retreat.

As soon as you reach the room, you can’t help but stare in awe. It was a very beautiful, somewhat traditional, room. The floor was covered in a nice dark wood that reflected the few beams of sunlight that managed to sneak in with the setting sun. Your eyes can’t help but travel to the slightly elevated part of the room where a large pristinely made bed sat, tatami mats covering the surrounding floor, sliding doors able to hide the area from view. Taking a deep breath, you noted the scent of lavender and leather was much more prominent here than throughout the rest of the house. The sophisticated state of his room caused you to feel a twang of embarrassment over the times he’d seen your room in its occasional hazardous state.

Shaking the thought away, you maneuver your way toward Vox’s closet and drawers. Finding a fair-sized red hoodie and some shorts that were adjustable by a drawstring you could wear. Moving to his bathroom, you quickly change your clothes. Folding up your clothes, you set them aside on the counter before moving on to wash up. Once finished, you head back out to meet Vox in his dining room, where he was already serving the two of you dinner.

Sensing your arrival, golden eyes flicker up to greet you. However, it takes him a solid moment and a double-take before he fully takes you in. His eyes slowly trail over your body. Seeing you in his clothes affected him in a way he hadn’t truly prepared for. It wasn’t even in a lustful way. Seeing you move around his home, in his clothes as he prepared a meal for you… it felt so utterly domestic and his heart swelled with love. ‘Someday,’ he told himself, pushing those thoughts back for now. But someday? He would love nothing more than to make this permanent.

Blinking himself out of the slight daze he’d fallen into, he realized you were still standing in the doorway, shifting on your feet. His staring made you feel a bit embarrassed. With a soft chuckle, he gestured you into the room with a smile. “Sorry, love, you just look really cute in my clothes.” For a second, you could have sworn his expression changed. Yet, once you blinked, it was back to his gentle smile.

Clearing your throat, you finally move further into the room and take a seat before ducking your head to hide your sheepish expression. “U–um, the food looks really good, Vox.” The demon's smile grew at your praise as he took his seat across from you. “Thank you for the meal. Let’s eat!”

The pair of you eat silently at first, enjoying the food. Yet it’s not long before you start looking around, as though looking for something. Vox notices this, cocking a brow at you. “Something the matter, love?”

“Nothing wrong, just,” you sit back fully in your seat with a confused tilt of your head. “I’ve been here a couple of hours. Is Onigiri out today?”

Vox makes a sound of understanding before explaining, “Oh no, he’s actually gone home this month. Spending more time with his wife.”

“Aww, that makes sense.” You can’t help but smile at your next thought. “At least he gets a break from you, then.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He scowls at you, except you can see the corners of his lips twitching. “In reality, I’m the one getting a break from him!” Your bright laughter fills the room.

The tension you had been feeling before faded as the pair of you have a pleasant conversation, enjoying your meal. Once finished, you help Vox with the dishes before moving back to the living room and reclaiming your spot on the couch. He joins you not a moment after, flicking through Netflix for something to watch. You let him pick what to put on as you leaned into his side. You were positioned somewhat awkwardly; feeling unsure about fully cuddling into him. You don’t know if it was because of your embarrassment or just wanting to be considerate and not cling to him if he needed to get up. Ultimately, you didn’t have to worry about it for too long. Feeling the weight of Vox’s arm shift around you, his hand lightly clasping the shoulder not already pressed against him. When you don't pull away, he pulls you further into his side, allowing you to feel just how warm he is. Releasing a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, you all but melt into his side. Basking in his warmth. Feeling extremely satisfied, Vox can’t help but press a light kiss on your head. The hand still on your shoulder runs soothingly over the fabric of the sweater– his sweater.

“You know,” your gaze shifts to find him already watching you, “you do look good in my sweater.”

“Mmm, it is very comfy. I might just steal it from you.” You joke; though you are a little tempted by the thought.

“Cheeky brat.” He mutterers with a fond roll of his eyes.

The two of you remain like that for a while. Snuggled against each other, silently taking comfort in each other's presence. Gradually, you can feel your attention shift from the TV to the demon beside you. Looking up at him slowly, you take in every feature of his face as his focus remains on the TV. Your mind drifts back to thinking of ways you could potentially thank him for loving you as he does. It might seem silly, and you know he would gently scold you for thinking you needed to replay him for such a thing. But you wanted to. The only problem is that there isn't anything you could physically do right at this moment.

Or at least that’s what you thought until an idea popped into your head.

Of the two of you, it was normally Vox who instigated physical affection. It wasn’t that you didn't want to; it was just that your embarrassment and nervousness more often than not overruled your wants of affection. Except tonight, you wanted to change that.

Feeling the heat of your gaze on him, he turned his head to meet your eyes. “Is something wrong, love?” As he spoke, you couldn’t help but let your gaze trail from his golden eyes down to his lips. Vox caught onto that immediately. Testing the waters, he intentionally wets his lips and feels incredibly amused as he watches you grow more flustered. The corners of his mouth twitch in a smile, bringing you back up to his eyes.

“Uh–umm, well I–” You cleared your throat, your attention subconsciously trailing back towards his lips. This time, his lips fully curl into a smile. The hand on your shoulder shifts down to your waist. The motion makes you feel even more bashful.

It’s not as if you haven't kissed before. You’ve done it multiple times. When he visits you. When you separate for the evening. Sometimes he’ll just be feeling affectionate and give you a random peck while the two of you are spending time with each other.

Except, this time, it felt different.

Raising one hand, you gently place it on his chest. The house was silent aside from the comforting white noise of the TV and the sound of your pulse rushing through your ears. Sitting up slightly, you slowly start inching your face closer to his. It’s clear what you want to do, and he’s not pushing you away. Except it seemed like he still wanted to tease you just a bit more. His eyes remained open, staying fixated on you. The expression on his face says, ‘ask me,’ which only causes you to feel more flustered. “Are you…” your voice is barely above a whisper, soft breath fanning against his lips. “Are you gonna close your eyes?” The words are shaky as they leave your mouth. You could feel his laughter more than hear it with the hand you still had resting on his chest.

“Not until you ask me, sweetheart.” His eyes are half-lidded as he peered at you. His gaze filled with love, but once again, that certain emotion you still couldn’t quite pinpoint. The look he’d given you multiple times throughout the day. More prominent now than ever.

He was messing with you again, the tease. You can’t help it when your lips purse into a small pout, but huffing in resignation nonetheless. “May I kiss you… please?” Pushing your face closer with the last word, hoping to entice him out of teasing you further. Your half-lidded gaze pleaded with him to finally let you connect your lips.

Vox chuckles, reaching a hand up to caress your cheek. His voice lowering an octave as he spoke softer. “Of course you can, darling.”

Finally, with permission, you softly plant your lips onto his with the lightest touch, closing the distance. You were still feeling a bit hesitant; not usually the lead in kisses. Vox, however, was calming you down with the circular motions his thumb was making along your cheek. Feeling a bit bolder, you push your lips a little firmer against his. Tilting your head to deepen the kiss as your hand slid up from his chest to his neck. Vox kissed back with the same enthusiasm, yet you could tell that he was fully letting you control the kiss. His motions do not pursue anything more than what you initiate. And you’re grateful for that.

Pulling back after a moment, you drink in the much-needed air, feeling a bit breathless. A mix of embarrassment and intoxication flutters in your chest over just how nice Vox’s lips felt against yours. With your hands still on him, you could feel the way he was also breathing a bit heavier than before. You dare to glance at your boyfriend's expression, only to find his intense gaze already focused on you. Neither of you dared to move. Hands remain firmly on the other, not wanting to pull away fully. A collective thought rang through both of your minds.

‘I want more.’

Moving forward once more, you felt more confident in kissing him this time. He let out a deep sigh of contentment as he moved the hand on your cheek down so that both of his hands rested on your waist. Pulling you closer to him as he fully turned towards you, wanting you pressed against his chest. You also made an effort to get closer as the kiss grew more heated. Both your hands moved to caress his face. Wanting, needing his lips to be connected to yours. It became a priority higher than breathing. Yet you still didn’t feel like you were close enough. Shifting your weight around, you moved your legs, so you were in his lap; effectively straddling him. Being in such a daze, it had yet to dawn on you that you were now making out – Vox’s tongue making itself at home in your mouth.

However, you're abruptly broken from your subconscious state when a whine tears itself from your throat. Frantically pulling away, you cover your mouth as you stare wide-eyed at your boyfriend before darting around the room in a flustered panic. Desperately thinking of an explanation before you heard Vox chuckle, your gaze was drawn back to him. His cheeks were a light dusting of pink, and his lips were moist and red from your previous make out. When you locked eyes with him, you caught sight of that emotion again. And finally, the dots connect and you swallow hard. Lust.

One of Vox’s hands shifted from your waist to your thigh. Sliding ever so slowly inwards towards a very dangerous place causing you to shiver. In anticipation – and panic. Your eyes dart towards the spot as one of your hands jumps to stop him. Immediately, his hand froze in place, and his expression shifted to concern. Removing his hands from you completely, he meets your gaze while apologetically asking, “I’m sorry love, am I moving too fast?” Except you can’t retain eye contact, dipping your head toward your chest. He moved his head forward to try to catch your eyes with his, hoping to get a read of your expression. It didn’t help much though, as you’d shut your eyes tightly. Too embarrassed to look at him.

“U–um yes, but no–I mean–” Your eyes open only to fixate on your hands as you fidget with them between your bodies. With a sigh, you try to swallow around the lump that had formed in your throat. Yet it still doesn’t stop your words from coming out a bit wobbly. “I’ve–uhh, never done anything like this before, so umm..”

Vox looked a bit confused, raising an eyebrow in question. “You’ve never made out with someone before?”

“Umm no, not that! I–uh, I’ve never…” You huffed at your inability to speak properly and quickly blurted out your next words. “I’ve never had sex before.” You were met with silence. The only sounds filling the room was your combined breathing and the no longer comforting white noise of the TV. Your eyes shut once more as you braced yourself for something. Anything.

Realistically, you knew Vox wasn’t going to make fun of, or degrade, you for being a virgin. Except your anxiety was begging to convince you he’d be disappointed. I mean, he’s a 400-year-old demon. It’s practically inevitable that he’s had partners before that were way better at this than you. You just didn’t want him to have a bad time. You heard a huff from him and almost deflated on the spot. Yet you weren’t expecting what came out of his mouth next.

“Darling, look at me…” Vox gently raises his hands to hold your face, guiding your head to look directly at him. Blinking your eyes open, your breath nearly hitching in surprise. You feel a swell of emotions build up within you at the sheer amount of love you see in his eyes. “I know what your brain is doing. I am not disappointed that you have no experience.” He rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs and you put your hands on top of his, wanting the comforting feeling to stay. “I just wish you had told me a bit sooner. We could have had a whole conversation about what to do when you felt ready. If you ever feel ready.” He shrugged his shoulders as he continued. “If sex was not something you wanted, it would not make or break our relationship. I am more than capable of taking care of my own needs.” He laughed lightly, trying to lift your mood.

You take in a shaky breath, trying to calm your emotions. Though your eyes well with tears, you smile at him. He was so perfect for you and to you. Who knew a demon could be a better partner than most humans you’ve met. “I’m sorry, I really should have told you earlier...” Your eyes drift away for a second as you collect your thoughts. “I guess I just felt slightly embarrassed. Especially since I wouldn’t know where to start asking… I’ve never really had anyone I could talk with about it before.” The last part is spoken more so to yourself.

“It’s alright, love. Remember, you can talk to me about anything. There are no stupid questions in this matter.” He shifted the both of you slightly. “Here, lay back with me. We can just chill for the rest of the night.” He starts to remove his hands from your face. But, with your hands still covering his, you swiftly keep hold of them. Vox looks back at you with confusion, tilting his head slightly to express his feelings.

You can feel a lump in your throat but are determined in your feelings, wanting to be honest with him. “Vox, I–” The way your heart pounded so fast in your chest, you swear Vox could hear it himself “I’m ready now,” He looked at you seriously, pulling his hands away to place them on your shoulders.

“Are you sure? Don’t feel like you have to just because we got heated earlier.”

“I’m sure, I promise.” You tilt your head, pressing a kiss on the palm of his hand as your eyes remain locked with his. “I’ve been thinking about it for a hot minute, but like I said earlier… I just… I didn’t know how to ask.” Vox didn’t say anything else, but you could see the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed. He lets you go so he can reach over and turn off the TV. You were about to ask what he was doing, but squeaked suddenly when you felt his large hands on your ass. You’d all but forgotten that you were in his lap. He stands from the couch, causing your arms and legs to wrap around him in paranoia. He can’t help but chuckle at your cute reaction. The demon starts walking down the hall, taking the same route you did earlier, and it only takes you a second to realize he was taking you to his bedroom. You could feel heat begin to well up in your stomach.

Vox set you down as soon as he entered his room, closing his door behind the both of you. “Sit on the bed, love. I have a few things to say before we do anything further.” Confusion washed over your face, but you did as you were told. Moving across his room and past the sliding doors before making yourself comfortable on his plush bed. There's a subtle tension in your body as you watch him remove his suit jacket and put it on a dresser before rolling up the sleeves of his maroon dress shirt. Not really understanding why; you felt the heat between your legs flare up as you watched him, causing you to clench your thighs together.

The demon then proceeded to make his way toward you, sitting so close to you that his thigh brushed against yours. His hand rests on your shoulder before sliding down your arm to turn you slightly toward him. These soft touches weren’t helping your already hormonal brain from imagining all the things his hands could do to you. However, you take a deep breath and try to remain as calm as possible as he begins to speak once more.

“Alright, first things first, love. I need you to tell me how much you know about safe words and the color system.”

“Uh,” your mouth shuts as you think it over. “Well, I know safe words are meant to be like a hard stop. The color system is like the traffic lights, right?” Vox nods his head at your words.

“Yes.” His tone was firm but still caring. “These are verbal ways for the Dom, or person leading, to gauge how their partner is doing without having to break out of a scene. Green is an ‘I’m okay’ or ‘I’m good to continue’. Orange works for a variety of things, but it still stands for ‘slow down, check in’.” He brings the hand on your arm up to your head, softly petting your hair, wanting you to be as comfortable as possible as he continues. “And as you said, red and safe words are for all play to come to an immediate stop. Aftercare should be immediately initiated, and at some point, there should be a discussion about what went wrong.” His free hand reaches up to caress your face. “Never hesitate to say red, or to use your safe word. Understood?” Immediately, you nod.

“Now,” he continues, “because this is your first time I will be taking the position of Dom.” Your mouth opened at that, however, you quickly shut it again. Untimely it would be for the best; knowledge from the internet does not equivocate experience in real life. “And because we haven’t had a chance to talk about this more in-depth beforehand, we’ll just stick to the color system for now. We will discuss safe words in the future. Now, Darling, do you know what a non-verbal queue is?”

“Well,” your head tilts to the side in thought, “I assume it’s a non-verbal… safe word?”

Vox smiles and places a kiss on your forehead. “Exactly love. It’s one of the best ways for you to communicate with me just in case–” he pulls back just enough for you to see a mischievous smirk curling at his lips– “I fuck you so good that you can’t speak.” You can’t help the immediate reaction of sputtering at his wording, your eyes widening as you try to look anywhere but at him. Even when explaining serious things, he just can’t seem to hold back from teasing you – the motherfucker. After a moment, Vox cleared his throat, steering you both back on topic. “Usually it's a certain number of taps with two or three fingers. At least that’s the most common one. You could also tell me to watch for a pattern, such as you clenching and un-clenching your fist, or you could blink rapidly.” Vox glided his hand from your hair, this time moving to hold your hand. The feel of his big palm enveloping yours was a desired comfort. “What would you like to use, my dear?”

Taking a moment to think about it, your free hand subconsciously begins tracing the structure of his hand wrapped around your own. Still a bit unsure, you sit up straight and hold up your hand, your fingers mimicking what you were saying. “I’ll hold up three fingers and tap you three times. Is anywhere on the body alright or should it be more specific?” You were still a bit nervous, your voice wavering at your last word. Though Vox answers you with another kiss on your forehead.

“That’s perfect, love. Now with that out of the way…” He releases your hand and moves it to rest on your back. You’re not confused for long, as he repositions himself before softly urging your body to lie back, sinking into the soft sheets beneath you. His body hovers over yours as one hand presses firmly on the mattress beside your head and the other slides out from under your back, making way to the buttons on his shirt. “I’d really like to indulge in your body and show you the pleasures you’ve been pining for.” The demon licks his lips sinfully slow, maintaining eye contact with you as he does, desire fully prevalent in his eyes.

You almost feel yourself explode on the spot, averting your eyes quickly as if his gaze itself would eat you up if you kept looking. This didn’t help how horny you already were. If your thighs were pressed together any tighter, you swear your legs would fuse into one. He finished unbuttoning his shirt with ease, chest becoming exposed to you fully. Your hands twitched forward before hesitating with embarrassment. Vox noticed this, his deep chuckle sending shivers down your spine.

“It’s okay, you can touch me, baby.” His hands guided yours to his pecs, letting you feel the warmth of his skin and the quick beating of his heart. Enraptured, your hands moved over his chest with a feather-like touch, drawing out a satisfied hum from him. He lowered his face closer to yours, causing you to grip his chest as he drew closer before he captured your lips in a kiss. Lips moving against each other in such a way that drew a soft sigh from you. When he tried to pull back, you could help but follow, causing him to smile. “You have no clue what you do to me, love…” Vox’s words came out in a low whisper, almost breathless, before he kissed you again.

Releasing another satisfied sigh against his lips, returning the kiss with just as much vigor. The smacking of your lips together only adds to the intensity, his tongue wasting no time in entering your mouth. Vox tasted immaculate to you – unsure if this was a normal demon trait or simply just your extreme attraction to him. Sliding your hands from his chest to his back, you pull him in closer; needing him closer. This drove another airy laugh from him as his hands finally graced you with a more intimate touch. One reached under his hoodie you were wearing, making its way to your bare chest. The other tugged at your shorts, to which you lifted your hips just enough for him to pull them down.

In between the passionate moving of your lips and tongues, Vox spoke up, his tone husky. “You can be a bit more greedy, love.” The hand on your chest fondled you, his fingers gracing your nipple. You let out a sharp gasp, hands balling into fists against his back. He leaned closer to your ear, breath tickling you with the warmth. “I want you to show how much you want me. I may be leading this, but this is your first time.” He follows his words with kisses down your neck, occasionally leaving nips that make you whine.

‘This man is way too good at riling me up, jeez.’ Your hands moved from his back to the front of his shirt, wanting it off so you could see all of his torso. He seemed to get the signal as you felt him smirk on your neck. He pulled back from you entirely, sitting back on his knees as he lets his shirt slide off his shoulders. You take this opportunity to remove his your hoodie, having some slight difficulty as your eyes are glued to his motions. ‘Why does him taking off his shirt look so hot?!’ You take a deep breath as you get the hoodie off; only your underwear remains.

Vox takes you in as you lay before him, completely intoxicated by your entire being. Every little noise you’d make when he touched you, the way your eyes fixated on him anytime he did something. It was truly a wonder you hadn’t noticed the bulge in his pants. To be fair, he could practically feel your shyness radiating off you, preventing you from making any bolder moves. But he’d help you overcome that. He shifts forward for his hips to press and grind into you, smirking when he hears you gasp. Vox slid one of his hands to grasp the underside of your thigh, drawing it up to press the apex of your sexes even closer together. You reach a hand up to tangle in the base of Vox’s hair, slightly tugging at the strands as your hips twitch forward with his guidance. He laughs teasingly at your reaction, continuing to rub his hips against you as his bulge glides against your most sensitive parts, causing you to moan and gasp. It felt so different. So new. This was unlike anything you’ve ever done in an attempt to pleasure yourself. Physically feeling another person against you was way better than anything you’d imagined or could have tried to replicate.

Vox leans down to attend to your neck again, biting and sucking with the intention of leaving hickeys. Finally, you decided to take his advice and be greedier. Slowly, you start to push back against him, rutting your hips in time with his rubbing. The friction causes him to groan in satisfaction as you let out your own pleasurable sigh. Taking your free hand, you slide it down his chest, making way to the hem of his white dress trousers. You were in your underwear, so it would only be fair for him to match you. With slow movements, you unbuttoned and unzipped him, your hand skimming over his bulge as you do so.

Letting out a breathy moan of his name as he bit down harder at your boldness. “Vox–” You palmed at him, curiosity taking the majority of your thoughts. You wanted to taste him. If you could even fit him in your mouth, that is. He felt pretty large, and you had never attempted to try on anything before; much too embarrassed. He pulls back from your now surely hickey-ridden neck and hisses through his teeth. His eyes clouded with want, the hand on your thigh tightening its grip, lips parted slightly and bruised from putting his lips to work on you.

Taking this opportunity, you raise your other hand, pulling at his waistline. You can tell he’s about to speak, but still, you quickly verbalize what’s been in your mind since your hands slid down him. “May I, umm… suck you off? Please?” You bite your lip harshly, surprised that you even got that out of your mouth. And seemingly you caught your boyfriend off guard as well.

Vox was frozen in place for a hot minute, almost like he was fully processing what you had just asked. After it was processed, he took a sudden breath as he appeared to forcefully cease his movements. Almost like he was holding himself back from saying something – or, more accurately put, doing something. You swear you saw his eyes go from the beautiful gold you know to a flash of pink. You almost thought about totally backpedaling your statement, ‘I think I accidentally awakened a beast–’ Except before you could blurt anything out, Vox finally released his breath with a verbal ‘Hah’, before leaning back down to give you a gentle kiss on the forehead. Confusing you even more than before.

He brings a hand up to smooth over the top of your head, pushing your hair back. “Not this time, love. Maybe next time we do this. I want you to experience the pleasure, and I’ll take mine from seeing you feel good.” You gulped hard, but nodded in understanding. You were honestly a bit disappointed, but you fully understood where he was coming from. This is your first time, after all, and he didn’t want you to lift a finger while he spoils you.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Vox thumbing at your bottom lip, your eyes shifting back to his face quickly. He releases another breath and smirks at your reaction, his eyes looking mischievous as you once more notice a bit of the pink hue return to his eyes. “You’ve given me a good idea, though, love. How about I return the favor of you wanting to serve me–” Vox placed his other hand on your empty thigh, hands creeping up slowly to drag down your underwear as he moved his head down to kiss your chest– “by giving you some much-deserved service to your most precious places.” You trembled at the way his voice deepened, hands gripping tightly at the sheets below.

“I–I think I would like that very much…” You glanced away shyly, lifting your hips slightly to help him with his motions. “But… um, you might need to hold me down. I don’t want to kick you…” You knew how your body would react, at least somewhat from the times you’d touched yourself. Though you don’t doubt it’ll be ten times more effective with someone else’s touch.

Hearing a growl, your eyes snap back down to Vox, startled by the sudden sound. You were not mentally prepared for what came out of his mouth next. “Darling, you have no idea how much I would love to do that. You make it so hard to hold back, fuck.” You ascended on the spot, making your body go comically limp as you inhaled sharply. Vox openly laughed at your reaction, bringing his head back up to be face-to-face with you. “Are you alright, love? Am I teasing you too much?”

Shaking your head a bit, you pouted in his direction. “No, it’s just… god, your voice is so stupidly hot! I didn’t think the title ‘Voice Demon’ was literal.” You threw your hands up in exaggeration and huff. “I… I just need to get used to you talking like that, 'cause I know you. You’re not gonna shut up.”

Vox chuckles and you can feel his fingers tracing circles on your thighs. “It gets a reaction out of you, darling. Of course, I’m not gonna stop.” You lightly punch him in the arm, and he lets out his little gremlin laugh before speaking again. “Come now, let’s not stall anymore. I’m supposed to be giving you a memorable first time, love.” Once again, he moves his way down your body, leaving kisses and small bites with his fangs to reignite the fire in your body. Letting out small pants, your hands making their way back to his hair.

Vox makes his way in between your legs, licking his lips as he peaks up at you. His hands spread your thighs apart and up, putting you in a prime position to be eaten as his grip becomes firmer. Without even testing it, you knew if you even attempted to move at all, you wouldn’t be going anywhere, his hands tightly pushing on you. “Is my grip hurting you at all?”

“N–No, this is honestly perfect. Can I, um, can I keep my hands in your hair?” Vox's expression shifts back into one of lust at your question before leaning in and darting his tongue over your sex, making you gasp at the sudden contact.

“Please do.” His words came out more akin to a purr, causing you to shudder at the heat of his breath on you. “Don’t hesitate to pull and grip at it as well. I’ll be trying my best to make you squirm, love.” He punctuates his sentence by pressing a kiss to your thigh.

Biting your lip, your hands react to his words by tightening their grip on his hair slightly. He latched his mouth onto you and you can't help the way your body shudders as his tongue starts to flick and prod against you. Breathing out his name as your head falls back against the pillows and you moan. He can feel your thighs begin to tremble as he picks up the pace, getting into a steady rhythm with his mouth. Fuck, he’d love to sink his teeth into your thighs. Coat them in bruises and bite marks, a reminder that he was the one to bring you this pleasure. ‘Another time,’ he thinks to himself. Another time, he’d allow himself to act upon his wants; for now, this was about what you wanted. You felt like you were on cloud nine. The sensation was entirely new to you. And quite frankly, you couldn’t get enough. As your hands gripped his hair tighter, you eased your hips into him, wanting his mouth to be as close to you as possible.

Vox groaned against you, encouraging your movements. The deep rumble of his voice only made the pleasure increase. He kept his eyes on you, feeling his cock twitch at your expressions and how unashamed you were being with your voice. God, he wanted to break you. Wanted to show you the full extent of his desires. But shushes those thoughts, mentally shaking his head at himself. ‘Another time,’ he reminded himself once more. Vox was fully intent on making this about you. Showing you all the things he wants to do would have to come later on. ‘And what an exciting thing to look forward to.’

He pulls back for a moment and you whine at the lack of contact. Picking up your head to look directly at your boyfriend, desperation written across your face. Vox lets out a long breath, his nails slightly digging into your thighs. “You taste so fucking good, love. Can I make you cum like this?”

You wasted no time in responding, nodding your head vigorously. “Yes! Please please please, make me cum. I need it–I need your mouth–” You would have felt embarrassed over the words you just unabashedly moaned out if it weren’t for you feeling so overwhelmingly turned on. Enjoying Vox’s mouth so much more than you probably should’ve, but right now you just wanted the ecstasy to return, wanted to ride the high of this new feeling until you came. Luckily for you, the demon wasted no time in engulfing you with his mouth again, twisting and prodding his tongue twice as fast as before.

You both moaned without shame as Vox continued his actions, picking up the pace. He growled and groaned into you, making sure to leave no inch of you untouched by his mouth. Your legs kicked in the air, and your body reacted to the build of pleasure by trying to clamp your thighs close. Vox wouldn’t let you, however, his hands keeping you firmly in place as he kept you spread.

“Vo–Vox–oh god! Please, I’m gonna–!” Your eyes started to water as you felt Vox give you the last push you needed, his mouth moving rougher. He watched as your back arched and you let out a euphoric moan, gripping his hair tightly and tugging on it. He swallowed all of you, only making you whimper from the continued pleasure as his tongue slowly lapped you up. Refusing to let even a drop of your taste escape him.

Licking his lips, Vox could feel the way your thighs trembled in his hands from the aftershocks, and eventually, he pulled back. Sitting up, he gently helped guide your shaking legs down as you caught your breath. Your hands dropped down from his hair, reaching up shakily to push your hair out of your face. Even after a few moments, you could still feel yourself throb in aftershocks, and you swallowed hard. Your throat was dry from how hard you had been panting and moaning. “Holy fuck…”

Vox repositions himself above you, letting out a quiet laugh at your words. Reaching up, you wrap your arms around his neck, wanting to keep physical contact with him. You lightly tug him down with your arms so his chest makes contact with yours. Still taking deep breaths as your heart was continually beating wildly in your chest. Though the thing that surprised you most was that you were still very, very horny.

“I assume by that reaction, I don’t need to ask if that was good. Right, love?” All you could do was nod, averting your eyes from his. He couldn’t help but find the way you pout extremely cute.

“I… umm, I don’t know what came over me. God, I said such embarrassing things!” You take your arms off his neck, covering your face, which causes him to laugh.

“My darling, it’s totally fine.” One of his hands moves to play with a lock of your hair. “When you moan like that, telling me what you want–” A deep groan rumbles in his chest, cutting off his sentence. “Well, frankly, it is incredibly sexy. Just hearing the way you enjoy yourself almost made me cum.”

With how flustered you are, it takes a moment for you to fully register what he said. Once you do, your arms slowly move from your face before your eyes widen and you sit up quickly, causing him to recoil a bit as he sits back. “You haven't cum yet?”

He shakes his head calmly as he gives you a gentle smile. Your eyes trail down his body, gulping a bit as your eyes land on his hard cock. He follows your gaze before leaning forward and kissing your cheek before trailing his mouth closer to your ear. “I know you said you were ready, but I wanna ask again. I’ve already made you cum tonight, so if you're done, I will fully respect your decision. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Swallowing hard, you tilt your head to meet his eyes. “I do want to do this, Vox. I want to give you my body, I want to give you all my first…” You reach out to grasp his biceps, pulling him with you as you lower yourself back onto the bed. “...and even though it’s my first time, I want you to feel good, too.”

The look Vox gave you caused your heartbeat to race again. You let out a startled squeak that grows into laughter when he suddenly leans down and starts attacking your face and ears with kisses. He has so much love for you that he can’t even put it into words at the moment. He pulls back from you after one last peck on your lips, smiling brightly at hearing your giggles. “I’m very honored that you're so sure to give this old demon your first. Let’s get you prepped then, love.”

You tilted your head a bit, intrigued, as you watch him lean over and open his nightstand drawer. The first thing he pulls out is a roll of condoms; ripping one off from the pack and setting it away from the others. His hand reaches back into the drawer and proceeds to pull out a bottle of lube before closing the drawer with the back of his hand. Vox picked the condom packet back up and returned to his position over you. He muffles a laugh when he notices your curious expression, but couldn’t hide the amused tone of his voice. “What’s with those eyes, darling? You look a bit confused.”

You clear your throat before biting your lip in embarrassment. You hadn’t realized you were staring so intently. “Oh–umm, sorry. Guess I was just surprised, more so about the lube than the condom. Don't condoms come... lubricated?” The pitch of your voice raises as your sentence finishes, visually unsure of your words.

Vox blinked owlishly at you for a second before chuckling. “They do, but my dear, it’s never a bad idea to use more. Besides, spit doesn't make for the best lube, so trust me, this’ll make the… heh, fucking, a lot smoother.”

You huffed at the way he worded the last part, squinting your eyes at him. “Did you have to phrase it like that?” He chuckled, looking right through your mock annoyance.

“Of course, darling. If I know it’ll fluster you, I have to say it.” He doesn’t even attempt to hide his mischievous smile. “You like it~.” Vox laughs as he feels your hand lightly hit his arm, followed by a loud ‘shut up!’ directed at him. He leans forward, catching you off guard once more as he wraps his arms around you. Your embarrassed state was the perfect distraction for him as he captured your lips in a deep kiss. Your eyes widen for only a split second before fluttering closed as you reach your hands up to gently caress his face. Before you part, you can hear the snap of the lube bottle opening, and then the sudden feeling of a cold, slick finger circling over your hole.

Jerking in his hold, squeaking at the sudden feeling. “Holy shit, that’s cold!” swearing as you instinctively tense. Vox, however, is quick to distract you; peppering kisses along your neck and shoulders while easing his finger into you. Your eyes flutter, one of your hands reaching out to firmly grip his wrist.

“Don’t worry, love, just getting you ready. You’re being very good for me, baby.” The way he whispered in your ear caused you to have a full body shiver; your breaths picking up for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. You mentally smacked yourself for questioning the lube. The coldness was no longer a problem, a newfound pleasure rushing through your body. Touching yourself had never felt like this. ‘The internet actually wasn’t lying.’ You would have laughed at that thought, but, at that moment, Vox added another one of his large fingers. Sliding them deep inside you and moving them in and out slowly to stretch you for his length.

“Darling, if your head isn’t too empty right now, could you open the condom? Your body is being so obedient for me.” Your breath hitches at the way he practically purrs those words. “You're just about ready.” Nodding your head, you let out a breathless ‘yes’. Reaching over, hand shakily patting the wooden surface before finally feeling the plastic beneath your fingers. Grasping the condom, you do your best to carefully tear the plastic from the slot; removing the condom from the packaging and, with a trembling hand, presenting it to him. Vox takes it with his free hand while simultaneously sliding his fingers out of you.

“Goood. Now just give me a moment, love.” You watch your boyfriend in wonder as he quickly and flawlessly puts on the condom. He hovers over you not even a second after, his hands guiding your legs around his hips.

You chuckled almost breathlessly and decide to try to get one last quip out before your thoughts would inevitably turn to mush. “Wow, that was fast. Almost like you’ve done this before.”

“My dear, when you’re 400 years old, you get good at certain things.” There is a heat to the way he stares at you through his lashes, his voice dropping an octave with his next words “Now, let me show you my years of experience firsthand.” All the confidence you had to try to tease him vanished. With your hands gripping his forearms, you let your gaze travel down to his cock, where it rested in between your legs. It felt easier to watch the way your bodies pressed together than to look into his eyes. Though the way his length rubbed against you made you gulp, you were extremely thankful for the prep beforehand, as it would make the process of him sliding inside you much easier.

Vox lifted your chin with his fingers, so it forced your eyes to meet his. “Color, dear?”

Your voice was already out of breath as you responded, “Green.”

He smiles as his thumb soothes your lower lip. “I’ll go slowly, love. You’ll still need time to adjust to me once I’m inside. Take deep breaths and if you need to, claw and grip me as hard as you need. If it’s too much, you need to tell me.” He places a soft kiss on your lips before pulling back to look into your eyes. “Do you understand, darling?”

You nod slowly, soaking in every syllable that comes out of his mouth. You respond with a firm ‘Yes’ and are already bracing yourself as you tighten your grip on his arms. He smiles and before he fully settles against you, grabs a pillow. Gently urging you to lift your back before setting it under your hips. You assume it’s for your comfort, or at least that’s what you’ve heard. You don’t have much time to ponder further on it as you feel Vox push against you, his hand guiding his cock into you slowly. Your mouth opens, except no sound comes out as you feel yourself clench down on him. This differed significantly from his fingers. Hell, this was a completely different feeling from any of the toys you had ever used. Feeling the way he stretched you, the way his cock twitched; it was all your mind was preoccupied with as your head fell back from the pleasure.

Vox let out a deep groan as he pushed into you, eyes darting back and forth from your expression to his cock disappearing inside you. Your borderline painful grip on him only fueled him on, yet the sliver of rationale he had took over for a moment. He stopped about halfway, causing you to look up at him, lips parted as you pant.

You gulp hard before asking, “W–why’d you stop?” The hands you had on his forearms subconsciously loosened, thinking that maybe something was wrong. You’re surprised, however, when he brings a hand up to caress your cheek, able to feel the heat of your skin against his palm.

“I just wanna make sure you’re alright, love. Am I hurting you? Your breathing is too hard. Take slow, deep breaths.”

“O–oh! I’m okay, I promise. I just–it feels… it feels so good.” You do your best to even out your breathing after answering and he smiles at you, pecking your forehead.

“That’s perfect, darling. I’m gonna go all the way in, so prepare yourself.” And as he said, Vox shifts his hips forward slowly until his hips are flush against your skin. Biting your lip hard as you feel a whine build in your throat at the feeling of him fully seated inside you. It’s only now that you’ve finally realized what the pillow under your hips was for. The elevation of your hips helped him reach deeper inside, while also supporting your hips.

“Oh fuck–” Every word from your mouth was drawn out. Tightening your legs around his waist and pulling him in further resulting in pleasing reactions from both of you. Your arms slide around his neck as you meet his eyes, your own eyes misty from just the initial pleasure. “Vox, please move. I’m ready, please.”

Vox didn’t say anything in return, just slid his hands down your body to your hips, gripping them firmly. He thrust once, eliciting a loud moan from you before moving again. Picking up a constant pace and pushing your hips into the pillow and mattress. Every movement spurred a moan or whimper from you, your hands tangling in his hair, needing something to hold on to. The lube made the sound of your skin connecting echo loudly in both your ears, only driving him to move faster in you.

Vox leaned his body forward, wanting to engulf you in his scent–his entire being. His rough grip on your hips moved to your thighs, pushing them back as he leaned forward. He wanted to be deeper, wanted to hear more of your sweet moans that were stirring up the heat inside him. His mouth latched onto your neck. Taking up any unmarked skin with his fangs to leave visible reminders of his love along your body. The whine you let out was music to his ears. The way your hips rolled upwards into him was euphoria. He loved every ounce of your being, and having sex with you was now just another way he could express his love to you.

As he continued to kiss and bite at your neck, you couldn’t help but drown in the feeling. The myriad of sounds coming from your mouth likely would have embarrassed you at any other time, but you were currently too far gone to care anymore. You pulled his head in closer and spread your legs further for him, wanting to take in every inch of his cock. You understand now why people say they could get addicted to this. The ecstasy you were feeling was unparalleled. You moaned out his name as he sunk in deeper between your spread thighs, his nails digging into the skin to show his approval.

He pulled back from your neck but refused to let himself go far. His mouth leaves a trail of kisses and bites down your exposed chest, taking extra care to lick and flick at your nipples. You called out his name more frequently, realizing it seemed to rile him up even more. The coupled feeling of Vox’s cock pushing fully in and out of you, and constant attention to your upper half, had your head spinning. Your stomach began to feel tight, and you felt his rhythm start to waver as he went faster.

“V–Vox, I’m gonna cum!” Your hands slide from their grip on his hair to his back, nails digging in from the immense pleasure. He pulls his head away to look at you, lips swollen and pink from their work on you. The pink that you had seen earlier in his eyes was fully visible now. His expression is half-lidded and just as twisted in pleasure as yours. Yet, even with all of Vox’s visible pleasure and the way his hips rud into yours, he slows to a stop, causing you to let out a high whine.

“Baby,” you drew out the word, voice breathy as you spoke, “why’d you stop? We’re both sooo close…” Vox lets out a breathy laugh, and kisses your forehead, pulling back with a smirk on his stupidly attractive face.

“I’m sorry, love. I just had an idea.” He moves his hands off your thighs and places them next to your head. The way he looks hovering above you truly does not help your delayed orgasm. “I was just thinking about how–” he cuts himself off with a groan, clearly lost in his imagery before he continues, “beautiful you’d look riding me. I’d love to see you bouncing on top of me. Of course, only if you are willing.”

You swallow hard, your voice sounding a bit hoarse from all your moaning. “D–does that mean I’ll be taking control?” You wouldn’t lie, you’d had random thoughts about what it’d be like. But those were just passing thoughts. Topping isn’t just about physically being on top, it’s about knowing how to give pleasure and take the lead. It is a very appealing idea, but could you top Vox? You didn’t feel nearly as confident as Vox currently appeared.

Seeming to feel the anxiety radiating off of you, Vox clarifies, “No, love. Being on top of me doesn’t mean you’ll have control.” One of his hands rubs soothing circles over one of your hips. “Unless you want to try taking control. I will not force you to, though. We can just change positions.”

Averting your eyes from him, you take a moment to think it over. On one hand, it’d be good to get experience from it, but on the other… your lack of experience with all of this could cause you to overthink your actions. You know he wouldn’t be upset with you and would likely give you tips if you wanted to, but you still wanted him to get some pleasure from this. After weighing your options, you shake your head and meet his eyes again. “I would like to change positions, but I don’t think changing roles would be good right now. We… We can test it another time.”

He nods and gives you a light peck on the cheek. “Alright, darling. Let me lay back, then you can get on top of me.” Vox slowly pulls out of you, causing you to let out a deep sigh from the sudden emptiness. As you reposition yourself to sit on your knees to wait, Vox grabs himself a fresh pillow, placing it behind his head as he fully lays down. He looks at you with a soft smile and holds his arms out to welcome you to him. The second you are given the okay, you're already crawling over and straddling his waist, his hands resting on your hips as soon as you do. “Color?”

“Green. So, so green.” This causes you both to laugh.

“Go slow as you sink down on me. It’ll feel better that way, I promise.” Vox massages his hands into your hips, eyes filling with anticipation as he watches you closely.

You give a small nod and look down at his cock resting between your legs, still hard, if not harder, than before. Feeling a shiver run down your spine at the sight, you inhale deeply before you take a hold of his length. He lets out a pleased hum at the contact and you gently guide him inside you as you sink down. The new angle and already built-up tension made your hips twitch and your body shake, the ecstasy coming back from the contact.

Vox kept you steady with his hands, lifting his hips to help ease the process. Once his hips were flush against your skin, you both let out soft groans as he lowered his hips back onto the plush bed. Placing your palms on his chest, you give an experimental grind of your hips as you watch your own motions. The demon gripped you tighter, letting out a hiss through his teeth, his eyes fixated on your expression of pleasure.

“Go ahead, love.” Your attention snaps back to his face. “You don’t need to hesitate.” You hold his gaze for a moment before you nod, lifting your hips before pushing them back down to sink onto his length.

Your mouth falls open, eyelids fluttering at the new angle. A pleasurable shudder coursed through you at how much deeper he felt from this position. You could tell he enjoyed it as well; urging your hips up with his hands, needing the sinking feeling again. You start a steady rhythm, letting out hot breaths and moans as his cock pushes deep inside you. The sound of skin meeting skin resonated through the room, coupled with the heavy panting coming from both of you. Balling your hands into fists, your mouth hangs open as you bounce on top of him with vigor. Your moans only get louder as the tightening feeling in your stomach comes faster than before.

“Fu–fuck…Vox, I’m so close again. I–oh–I’m gonna cum!” Your words come out shaky and breathless, as you leaned forward, sliding your hands onto the bed to pick up the pace easier. Vox moved his hands to your ass, groping and digging his nails in as he looked up at your ecstasy-ridden face just inches from his.

“I’m close as well, baby. God, I wanna watch you cum–” He gasps, before groaning in pleasure. “Please cum. Cum for me, sweet thing.” Shifting to get enough balance, he ruts his hips up into you, matching your greedy pace with his own. Vox could feel you tighten around him, trying desperately to reach that peak. He let out a low, gruff sigh, his eyes fixated on you as you moaned out his name. God, the way you moaned his name, like he was the only thing you ever needed, the only thing you’ve ever wanted.

You gripped and pulled at the sheets under your hands, your pace becoming erratic as you finally reach your climax. Burying your face in the crook of Vox’s neck, you let out a cry of pleasure as your body shakes from its second orgasm. Vox, with just a few more thrusts, presses your ass down on him further, reaching his orgasm as well. You shudder from the guttural moan he lets out, and the way his hands grip you, making you stay close. After a moment of collecting yourselves, you lift your head up to look at your boyfriend. You open your mouth to say something, but Vox is quicker, capturing your lips with his. He puts his hand behind your head, kissing you like he’d been waiting to feel your lips for years. You pull back after the impromptu make-out session and look at him in slight confusion.

“What was that for?” You tilt your head slightly to accentuate your question, but he just gives you a lazy smile and strokes your hair.

“I just really love you, darling.” He tries to maintain eye contact with you, but you refuse and sit up, a big pout on your face.

“Vox, please, you being so sweet shouldn’t be hot.” The demon just chuckles and sits up as well, keeping you in his lap as his arms wrap around you.

“Oh? Then maybe I should switch to being more down-bad?” The sweet smile on his face changes to a devious smirk as he moves his face closer to yours.

“I–That’s it. I’m done for. K.O.’ed” You cover your face with your hands. Bad idea, cause it just gives your boyfriend the element of surprise.

With a mischievous look, Vox smugly, purposefully, rolls his hips. “You’re done for? Oh no, that’s such a shame~”

The squeak that came out of your mouth surprised you, drawing your hands down to cover your mouth. With a muffled voice, you try to scold him, “H–Hey! Don’t move too much, I'm sensitive–”

Vox just chuckles and rolls his hips again, making you whine out his name. You were adorable, and he only wanted to mess with you more every time you reacted to his teasing. He shifted closer, lips ghosting your ear, his hot breath fanning against you as he spoke low. “Lift your hips for a moment, darling. I need to change this condom.”

He stroked your thighs as you lifted your hips, letting out a breathy moan as you did. His cock slid out of you with ease, and Vox’s hands went from your thighs to his cock. Even after just finishing, he was still so hard. As he removed the used condom, you lean over and quickly grab another wrapper from the nightstand. Vox chuckles at your enthusiasm, glad he could rile you up again with just a roll of his hips. You both moved quickly; him tying the used condom and throwing it aside as you got a new one out and ready. As soon as you handed it to him, he tugged it on, making sure it was properly secure before you straddled him once again.

“Come on sweet thing, let me inside you again.” The demon’s large hands gripped your hips as you let him guide you down on his cock again. Both let out a shuddering breath at how sensitive you each still were. He wasted no time; not even a moment after you’ve fully sunk down on him does he start thrusting into you again.

You grip his wrist tightly, wanting him to keep guiding you as you desperately try to keep pace with him. Your eyes watering from the overstimulation, and your throat was becoming dry again from your panting and moaning. Your legs felt like jelly, and you could tell you were gonna be sore in the morning, but that didn’t stop you from grinding down onto Vox. His nails dug into your hips, the slapping of his thrust getting sloppy as he felt you clench around him again, ready for another orgasm. Your words came out almost unintelligible, and your tone was desperate as you told him you were going to cum again. “V–Vox! I–!”

With him feeling just as sensitive, he was already right at the edge, ready to cum again. “I know, sweet thing. I’m right there with you.” He quickened his pace.

It only took a few more thrusts before you doubled over onto his chest, moaning loudly as his hips pushed up into you. Reaching your peaks together, hips stuttering as you breathed heavily. Bodies covered in sweat from the multiple orgasms. Vox looked down at you, your head buried in his chest as you tried to get your breathing under control. He moved one hand from your hip to your head, resting it there.

Lifting your head enough to rest your chin on his chest, gaze meeting his. You both stare into the eyes of the other for a moment, seeming to soak in all that just happened. Vox spoke first, having a content smile on his face. “My love… thank you for letting me experience this with you.” He raised his hands, cupping your cheeks with both his hands. “I am extremely honored that you trust me this much to give you the pleasure you desire. I’m happy that I now have another way to show you just how much love I have for you, my sweet thing.” Vox’s voice was filled with care, and you could see in his eyes that he meant every word, saying it with his full heart.

Leaning into his hands, you smile, one of your own lifting to rest over his as your thumb rubs over his knuckles. “I’m just happy you also had a good time. That was incredible and I couldn’t be happier to give you my first. I…” You swallowed hard, looking away bashfully. “I love you, Vox.” You looked back at him when you heard his soft chuckle and he leaned his head toward you to kiss your forehead.

“I love you too, baby… so much.” He leaned his forehead to rest against yours, you both closing your eyes to soak in the moment. Remaining like that for a few moments, reveling in each other's presence, before Vox spoke up again. “Come on, love. Let’s go get cleaned up.” His voice was soft as he nuzzled his head into you softly, coaxing you into motion. “You still need your rest. You have a project to work on tomorrow.”

“Good idea, besides I don't think we both wanna be sweaty and sticky.” You lifted yourself off of him, letting out a deep breath as his softening cock slips out of you. “Will you give me motivation by cuddling me when we sleep?”

“I would cuddle you regardless, darling.” He laughs, pushing himself to the edge of the bed before getting up and properly disposing of both condoms. “But yes, I’ll give you all the affection you want and tell you just how proud I am of you.” He offers his hand to you and helps you get up when you take it. He’s frozen in place for a moment as he looks over at you. His brain conjures up other scenarios; ones where you wouldn't have to leave in the morning. Every day he could look forward to falling asleep and waking up by your side.

You tilt your head, asking if he’s okay. He just smiles; rubbing his thumb over your knuckles and envisioning a ring on your bare finger. ‘Someday,’ he reassures himself again.

“It’s nothing, love. Let’s get you cleaned up now, shall we?”

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

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#vox akuma x reader #luxiem x reader #nijisanji x reader #vox akuma #luxiem #nijisanji luxiem #nijisanji vox #nijisanji en #nijisanji #x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader #Written by Mod S 👿

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kuzcosources · 4 months

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Incorrect Quotes!

pulled from this generator, sourced from various media.

Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

The last time I went to an urgent care clinic, I checked off 'excessive crying' on the symptom list, and then the nurse got really confused and said that was meant for babies.

I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT. DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.

Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

I don’t know how you have your foot in your mouth, your head up your ass, and your nose in my business. But here we are, you fucking wizard.

I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

My expectations are low, but they can always go lower.

Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

‘Technically legal’, the two best words in the the English language, right before ‘cowboy spectacular.'

God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

#feeling VEERY lazy today #rp meme #rp memes #rp ask #rp asks #rp prompt #rp prompts #rp ask meme #rp ask memes #rp ask prompt #rp ask prompts

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rosy-fox-art · 6 months

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Ouroboros AU [CCC]: The Masterpost

Well. Since the Cjverse Chatroom is breaching containment I guess it’s finally time to talk about this au!! Because I’ve been forgetting to and it’s part of that chat. But let me at least give the basic premise and stuff first. This is going to be a Really Long Post. CW for body horror?

“In which Heart gets a little too comfortable in the pit to the point that roots start growing into him, and it al goes downhill from there . The psyche is alive, everyone’s missed their cues, and mind can feel his sanity slipping by the minute. Leave it to soul to…. “Fix” it?”

The psyche in this au is only what I can describe as ‘ alive ‘

Everything is mildly based around organs here. The psyche is all in the vessel’s brain, after all. Your body communicates this from the outside to your brain through its nervous system, and just so the vessel attempts to communicate things like pain, illness, etc. silently through the environment of the psyche —- typically using weather or the natural elements — though the thirds aren’t quite aware of that.. it is a large, seemingly endless field dotted with ferns and flowers and other things depending upon the vessel’s wellness and the thirds themselves. So, you can imagine the loop gets off to a real bad start in terms of the psyche with a Haiku split where the vessel is left bleeding…. Which is exactly what happens.

Soul— Whose name is silence in the Cjverse chat and I’ll be calling him that from here on— does not get the chance to choose to forget the last loop. Dazed and having to take care of the vessel, his attention is taken off of Heart and Mind as he grapples with the existential crisis that is remembering the last loop while Heart and Mind don’t. In fact, Heart and mind begin arguing really early over the state of the psyche. Instead of realizing that their psyche being in a state of discord and soul being largely absent is because of the vessel, they begin to blame one another. This results in the shot, which gets souls attention. Soul banishes heart to the pit, a hole deep hole that has formed in the psyche, manifested from Heart’s hatred towards Mind and want for a grave for the other half. This part goes as typically, Mimd scolding heart while he’s in the pit and trying to rouse heart into improvement through but well meant harsh words, heart wallowing and just wanting out, etc…. What’s not typical is mind giving up on reasoning with heart, leaving heart to scream and yell and plead for Mind and Soul to let him out for months and months on end… only for him to inevitably give up.

Heart—whose name in chat is Rain— begins to function as more of an organ than a construct. He is loving— beating— but not doing anything. Not speaking or moving. Existing quietly, just enough to get them by. Just like mimd wanted. As a consequence, roots begin to grow into heart as he slowly starts to sort of become part of the psyche more than himself. As the roots grow into him, he loses the ability to move speak etc all together rather than simply choosing not to, becoming essentially brain dead. Mind — whose name is Aperture— finally notices the silence and slowly becomes worried. As per usual, he did not know what he actually wanted, and begins to plead with heart to get out of the pit. But he is too little too late and gets no response. This slowly begins to drive mind up a wall as he tries and fails to find solutions as guilt creeps up on him.

Silence returns to paying attention to stuff in the psyche, noticing that things aren’t going as normal. He tries to free Rain from the pit and the roots, but finds that when he goes to cut the roots, Rain screams and the vessel begins ailing in Reality again. This stops him from making much progress and distresses Mind, who now spends all his time near Rain. Mind and soul argue, as Soul firmly believes he has to cut the roots out and Mind is against Soul hurting them more, insisting it is doing nothing for them. At some point it ends with a physical altercation in which Aperture gets lightly stabbed. Silence then leaves Aperture and says he will find some other way to fix this.

Aperture is left alone with his thoughts and to tend to Rain. This slowly proves detrimental, as he is still feeling guilt and struggling on solutions. What kind of Mind is he If he can to find a logical way to fix this? What if there is not a way to fix it? Inevitably, Mind begins to give up as well. His thoughts become too much and manifest in his nerves coming out from his ears as his thoughts become too much for him, leaving him in a similarly vegetive state to Rain.

Now the only one left functioning, Silence wanders endlessly until he inevitably finds a part of the psyche he was never meant to have access to — Whole’s room— and while there, acquires the ability to reset the loop. And so he does!! Rain and Aperture are brought back! But soul is paranoid and can’t forget again. He won’t let himself. This way he can ensure what happened last loop doesn’t repeat itself. In the canon of the AU, this results in soul restarting the loop over and over again every time something goes wrong. He essentially becomes paranoid and loses it a little. Through looping so many times, Rain and Aperture begin to become incapable of forgetting and plead for Silence to stop, as he is now doing it too much.. Eventually Silence has to learn to trust Rain and Aperture and also himself again, alongside realizing that neglecting the vessel is what’s been causing the psyche issues. This results in them being able to form whole and not forget. So it has a happy end.

Usually I only focus on the first loop though, and in Cjverse canon the first loop happens but uh..we’ll.. the constant resetting not so much as a bunch of wild shit happened to give Silence a bit of a redemption arc from his absentee parenting in loop 1. And topography is a ‘ bad end ‘ of Ouro’s first loop where Silence never finds whole’s room, and Rain and Aperture only exist as parts of the psyche, forcing Soul to forever trick in search of an impossible solution through controlling the environment.

HOIGH. That was a lot!! If y’all have any questions I would be happy to answer 👁️👁️, esp in regards to the chat… Now!!

DOODLE DUMP!!

Can you tell I have a favorite child ?

#cjverse chatroom #cjverse #chonny’s charming chaos compendium #chonny jash au #ccc au #cccc #chonny jash #heart cj #mind cj #soul cj #these guys are #so fucked up #but I enjoy them #y’all should know Twine and #Silence are besties

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coeurdalene · 9 months

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looking for some light

masterlist | ao3

summary: he tells raleigh, “i want to come back from this mission, ‘cause i quite like my life.” he means, there’s still so much i want to do, so much i have to do. (aka chuck wants to make it through this goddamn war so he can finally live a normal life, even if he doesn’t really know what that means.)

pairing: chuck hansen x reader

warning(s): character death (sorry), swearing, mentions of canon-typical violence.

word count: 3.86k

a/n: i meant to have this finished by the ten year anniversary of the movie but uh… anyways, here it is now! this is my love letter to chuck hansen and also a projection of my want for a beach house.

The universe gifts Chuck an unwanted Christmas present in the form of a memorandum. He swears under his breath when you trudge into the Mission Control Center that morning with a dejected frown on your face and shove the crisp paper into his hands. His eyes fall on the letterhead, embossed with the familiar spread-winged eagle, and he already knows what it contains. He’d been expecting it for months. He resists the urge to scream, to crumple the paper into a ball and hurl it at the trash bin with every ounce of remaining strength in his body. He doesn’t envy you when you announce the bad news to everyone else, fulfilling your final duty as Sydney’s Chief LOCCENT Officer.

Days later, not even twenty-four hours after the Shatterdome decommissioning and right at the beginning of the new year, the universe offers him—and the rest of Sydney—another unwanted gift.

Mutavore is an ugly thing. Nearly ninety meters tall and weighing over two thousand tons, it’s hunched over as if struggling to support its own weight, blade-like plates protruding from its head and back.

“I don’t care how many eyes it has,” he says after you read out its classification and measurements, “I’m gonna kick its ass.”

(Six. It has six eyes. Just because he doesn’t care doesn’t mean he won’t pay attention.)

The category four Kaiju plows through the coastal wall like a knife cutting through warm butter and tramps into Sydney Harbour, stopping only to raise its head and let out a guttural screech, as if barging through a metal barrier hadn't been enough to announce its presence. He wonders how many millions of dollars have now been reduced to rubble at the bottom of the bay and how many weeks were spent welding together beams that took only a few seconds to destroy.

Then, its beady eyes—all six of them—focus on Striker Eureka and her brass knuckles glinting in the sun. It screeches again before charging headfirst into Striker’s swinging fist.

Mutavore dies as quickly as it breached the wall, lying motionless in the bay, blood-soaked missiles lodged in its chest and Kaiju blue staining the water.

“That’s Striker Eureka’s tenth kill to date. It’s a new record,” he boasts to the reporter in the aftermath. He ignores the questions about the decommissioning and brushes off the look his father gives him. Don’t get too cocky, he looks like he wants to say.

When they return to the Shatterdome, the J-Tech crew cleans Striker, polishing her knuckles and wiping Kaiju remains from the Conn-Pod. Chuck takes a long hot shower. Then, the move to Hong Kong begins.

The Anchorage Shatterdome—the cold and stalwart Icebox—had been the first to close. He remembers how you had stared blankly at the official PPDC statement for hours while he watched the newscaster on the television read it out loud. The Marshal had been on the broadcast, too, brought on for further questioning. When the anchor asked about the future of the Jaeger Program, he had assured her that, as long as the Kaiju kept coming, the Jaegers would keep fighting. Chuck had laughed dryly at that. The dwindling funding from the U.N. would say otherwise and whispers of better opportunities at the wall hung in the air, getting louder with every passing day.

The closure of the Icebox set off a string of shutdowns: Lima and Tokyo later that month, Panama City in November, Vladivostok and Los Angeles a few weeks after. The clock was ticking and it was only a matter of time before that damned memorandum arrived in Sydney, his fate dictated by its contents.

His beloved Sydney Shatterdome closes at the turn of the year, leaving behind its only remaining sibling in Hong Kong. What had once been a robust network of PPDC hubs was now reduced to one.

And the clock continues to tick.

“We don’t need a stupid wall,” Chuck declares on the flight to Hong Kong, glaring at the news broadcast replaying footage of the Sydney attack. “We need better pilots.”

He’d expressed the same sentiment to the reporter who interviewed him after Mutavore’s attack, too, blaming the fall of the Jaeger program on the mediocrity of those involved. He isn’t sure if it’s that simple—you had explained something to him about politics and funding and morale, government nonsense he didn’t understand—but he sure as hell knows that the Jaegers would be winning if pilots stopped letting the Kaiju kick their asses.

“Have some respect,” his father chides. “Every pilot has fought tooth and nail to protect the people they love.”

And perhaps that’s the truth—it sure is for him. His days consist of sore muscles from training, never getting enough sleep, and always anticipating another fight. He does it for his father, who has been a soldier for as long as he can remember. For his mother, whose untimely death lingers in the back of his mind every time he sets his eyes on a Kaiju. For you, who frequently pulls all-nighters and agonizes over details to make sure the Shatterdome stays running. And for Max, of course. (Silly little dog probably has no idea what a Kaiju is.)

So, yeah, perhaps it is the truth. But it doesn’t change the fact that they only have eight months left of funding, or that the U.N. thinks a wall will fare better than a Jaeger.

“We won’t be getting more pilots. All we can do is work with what we still have,” you chime in, pulling Chuck out of his thoughts. “But, on the bright side, our remaining pilots are some of the best in program history.”

“Including me?” he smirks. You laugh, cheerful and bright, punching his arm lightly. Max shifts in his sleep at the sudden noise. His father gives him that look again. Don’t get too cocky.

He spends the rest of the flight listening to you read briefing notes on “Operation Pitfall,” the Marshal’s shiny new plan to end the war by detonating a bomb at the throat of the Breach. Somehow, the PPDC had procured a thermonuclear warhead from the Russians, entrusting Striker Eureka to carry it while the remaining Jaegers played defense.

Chuck is cynical about this plan. They had already tried (and failed) to drop things into the Breach. A bomb would only bounce back at them and kill anything in range.

He quips sarcastically if the Marshal had thought of that. You respond only by flipping through the file again for an explanation. He knows you won’t find one.

As he steps off the plane and onto the landing pad, he’s met with a grinning Tendo Choi shouting over the patter of heavy rain, “Welcome to Hong Kong!”

The man, wearing a grey suit jacket too wide around the shoulders shakes their hands in greeting before ushering them out of the rain and into the Shatterdome. Chuck sidesteps some J-Techs as he enters, surveying his surroundings.

He had been much younger the last time he visited Hong Kong and much less invested in all the inner workings of the PPDC. He remembers mechanics and pilots shouting and running about, dirt and scuff marks on the floor, and his father reminding him to keep a tight grip on Max’s leash. It had felt unfamiliar then, but he realizes now that it isn’t too different from Sydney. Same high ceiling, same metal catwalks, and almost the same arsenal of Jaegers towering over him. It’s a little older, a little grittier, and a little more worn down, but no longer foreign.

He spots Cherno Alpha in one of the bays, its stalwart form hunkering and heavy. The Kaidanovskys stand at its feet, engaged in conversation. Crimson Typhoon stands opposite it, brilliant red and regal. J-Techs gather around her three arms, inspecting and cleaning the rotating saw blades.

“Striker arrived a few minutes before you did,” Tendo gestures to the shiny silver Jaeger standing in the far bay, metal glinting under the bright lights of the hangar. “The crew is getting her settled in.”

Then, Chuck’s eyes fall on the fourth and final Jaeger. That last he had heard of Gipsy Danger was that she had been decommissioned, damaged beyond repair from a mission gone wrong. But here she stands—untarnished metallic blue, left arm intact, and definitely not lying forgotten in Oblivion Bay.

“What’s that old rustbucket doing here?” he leers, very aware that there isn’t a single speck of rust on her.

“She looks brand new,” you remark.

“She is, sorta,” Tendo replies, “We’ve been fixing her up: a new fluid synapse system, new engine blocks, and a new hull. She’ll be holding the defensive perimeter for you in Operation Pitfall, along with Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon.”

“Does she have pilots?” you inquire.

“Not yet,” Tendo grins. “But she will.”

Chuck hopes that these pilots won’t be incompetent idiots, whoever they might be.

The peaceful moments are rare, but cherished and so welcomed. In these instances, he lets his guard down, breathes deeply, and allows himself to think of anything other than training or fighting.

One of his favorites is somewhere in between Striker’s fourth and fifth kills: a lazy afternoon in bed with your back against the headboard and his head in your lap, sunlight streaming in through the windows with your fingers carding lightly through his hair.

“After this war is over,” he declares, imagining a life without the chaos and destruction that comes with being a Jaeger pilot, “we’ll buy a nice house in the suburbs where we’ll live blissfully for the rest of our lives.”

“The suburbs are nice,” you contend, “but how about a beach house on the Gold Coast? Or Port Douglas?”

He chuckles at that, picturing what living by the ocean without the fear of a Kaiju attack would be like. He would spend his mornings engulfed in the soothing murmur of the sea, gazing out at the unbroken horizon. His afternoons basking in the warmth of the sun, feet buried in the soft sand. His evenings surrounded by music and your melodious laughter, trying not to step on your toes while you lead him through a dance in your living room.

Quiet, he thinks. Serene. The only unrest would be the waves at high tide or the gulls swooping down to steal his food.

“Wherever you want, as long as it’s you and me. And Max. Right, bud?” he grins at the bulldog lying at the foot of the bed. Max lets out a little grunt. Chuck takes that as a sign of agreement.

“Sounds lovely,” you reply, your hand moving to rest against his cheek. He turns his head to kiss your palm, heart soaring at the way you smile softly down at him.

All Chuck knows about Raleigh Becket is that he quit the Jaeger Program. That information alone is enough for him to dislike the guy. He doesn’t trust some washed-up pilot to run defense for him while he carries a 2400-pound bomb on the back of his Jaeger. Doesn’t care that his father fought alongside the guy in Manila or that he single-handedly piloted his Jaeger back to shore. Doesn’t bother to hold back a grimace when Raleigh tells him that he’d been working on the wall for the past five years.

“If you slow me down, I'm gonna drop you like a sack of Kaiju shit,” he hisses at him in the mess hall. He ignores the way his father watches him with disapproval as he stalks away.

His bad mood turns worse when Mako Mori is named Raleigh’s copilot.

He has known Mako for years. They had grown up in Shatterdomes together, met a few times when the Marshal had brought her to Sydney, and briefly bonded over their love of dogs. He’s close enough to her to know that she can fight well and that she has one of the best simulator scores he’s ever seen. (Better than his, although he’d never admit that.) But, she has no experience in a Jaeger and no understanding of what a drift is actually like, which, in his eyes, makes her no better than Raleigh. He isn’t surprised when they’re both out of alignment during their test run, your concerned tone alerting the rest of LOCCENT of the deviation, or when Mako begins chasing the RABIT, raising apprehensive murmurs from the crowd of onlookers. Or when it ends in Tendo pulling the plug on Gipsy’s power.

“Worse mistakes have happened,” Tendo sighs as Gipsy’s plasma cannon goes offline. Chuck scowls. There is no space for even a single mistake in the plan to attack the Breach, especially amateur ones like chasing RABITs. He knows that the Marshal understands this, too.

Later, as he paces in the Marshal’s office, still brimming with anger from Raleigh and Mako’s failure of a test run, he snaps, “He's a has-been. She’s a rookie. I don’t want them protecting my bomb run. sir.”

His father stands across the room, arms crossed and mouth set tightly in a frown. In the corner, you and Tendo are huddled over a tablet, discussing the drift results in hushed voices. The Marshal warns him to watch his tone. Chuck rolls his eyes in response and thinks to himself, He knows I’m right.

He finds Raleigh and Mako standing silently in the hall outside after his father kicks him out of the room. He rounds on the former, seething and jabbing an accusatory finger into his chest, “I want to come back from this mission, ‘cause I quite like my life.”

He turns to Mako, sneering and spitting out some distasteful things, ignoring the feeling that he’ll regret it later.

When Raleigh’s fist makes contact with his jaw, Chuck sees red.

On bad nights, he wakes up in a cold sweat, plagued by nightmares of being painfully ripped to shreds by sharp claws and teeth. Some nights he wakes up angry, frustrated with himself after overanalyzing his fights. Other nights, he relives the moment when he found out about his mother’s death, shaking with body-wracking sobs and shuddering with each intake of breath. But you hold him through it, your soothing hands on his back and comforting words in his ear. He focuses on your voice, steady and calm, and syncs his breathing with yours.

“You’re okay,” you murmur. “They’re just nightmares. You’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” he repeats.

On bad nights, you confess your fear that the war will never end, or that you’ll burn out before it does. Some nights, you feel that you’re not doing enough, that you need to get back to work even though it’s past midnight. Other nights, you worry that you’ll spend your entire life fighting, that you’ll never be able to rest. But he holds you through it, his calloused fingers on your cheeks wiping away your tears. You focus on his touch, firm and resolute, and rest your hands on top of his.

“It’s okay,” you contend, voice shaky but certain. “I have you. This is enough.”

“This is enough,” he repeats.

Yet, he can’t help but want more. He wants the beach house instead of the cold metal walls of the Shatterdome. Wants to wake up to the sun, your smile, and Max’s whining for food instead of doomsday alarms and Kaiju attacks. Wants you to be able to sleep in for once. Wants to spend his days sunbathing and learning to surf instead of training in combat drills and preparing for another attack. Wants to give you some peace, and to find some of his own.

He tells Raleigh, “I want to come back from this mission, ‘cause I quite like my life.”

He means, There’s still so much I want to do, so much I have to do.

Chuck has only felt true fear a few times in his life. Standing on top of his disabled Jaeger with only a flare gun in his hands is one of them. In the moment, he tells himself that he isn’t afraid, that a double event isn’t any different from any other Kaiju attack, and that Striker will come back online in just a second. The adrenaline coursing through his veins overpowers the feeling of impending doom anyway. But, later, as he reflects on the feeling of relief that had washed over when Gipsy’s fog lights enveloped him, he admits that he had been scared shitless. And, he admits (only to himself) that he’s thankful for Raleigh and Mako, even if they’re has-beens or rookies.

He holds you closer that night and knows that you’ve already picked up on all the details of his uneasy expression. Still, he musters up the strength to confess aloud, “I thought we were gonna die.”

You’re silent, responding only by rubbing your hand across his back and hugging him a little tighter. The heavy weight of his lingering fear sits in his chest as he continues, “Dad had injured his arm, our comms were out, Cherno and Crimson were gone, and there was a fucking Kaiju ready to swallow us whole. Shooting that flare at it made it even more pissed off.”

“Not your best idea,” you remark playfully. “You’d think all that training to prepare you for situations like this would help you keep calm and think of something rational to do.”

“It was Dad’s idea, not mine,” he shrugs.

“Well, I’m glad the flare managed to keep it occupied long enough for Gipsy to get there,” you reply, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “And I’m glad you’re not dead.”

“Me, too,” he sighs, the weight in his chest lightening slightly.

When he drifts off to sleep, he dreams of the war ending and a house overlooking the shore.

If, a year ago, you had told Chuck that he would be piloting a Jaeger with the Marshal Stacker Pentecost, he would have laughed in your face and asked why the Marshal wasn’t off doing better things (like convincing world leaders to keep funding the Jaeger Program or figuring out ways to increase pilot recruitment). And, if you had told him that he would hear the phrase “there’s a third signature emerging from the Breach,” he would have rolled his eyes and declared the situation impossible. (“I’d still kick its ass, though,” he would have probably said.)

Yet, here he is, strapped into Striker with the Marshal as his copilot, only three hundred meters from the Breach, watching a category five Kaiju materialize in front of him. He feels his stomach drop as he lays eyes on Slattern’s angular head and the sharp spike protruding from its chest. When it roars, the water around them ripples, and the ground beneath shakes. He barely has any time to think before the massive beast rears its head and charges, swinging its heavy leathery tail directly at them.

The hit knocks Striker off her feet and sends her crashing into a nearby hydrothermal vent. He winces and swears, body aching and head beginning to throb as streams of water push and jostle the Jaeger. Slattern prepares to charge again just as Striker regains her footing and he easily falls into a fighting stance along with the Marshal, fists clenched and ready to strike. This time, when it attacks, they’re ready—dealing out swift punches that send the Kaiju reeling.

He isn’t sure how much of it is the Marshal and how much of it is himself, but the exhilaration that rushes through him as one of Striker’s sting blades slices across Slattern’s throat reinvigorates him. The other blade cuts into its arms, blue blood spilling from deep gashes. It screeches, and he expects it to rush at them again, but it swims away, blood trailing eerily in the water.

He takes the moment of respite to breathe, and to survey the damage. The harsh red light of the many, many warning messages flashes across his vision. He fiddles with some controls, watches as the Marshal does the same, and sighs heavily when neither of their attempts fixes anything. He resigns himself to hoping that Striker can hold on a little longer. She had gotten him this far, surely she could see him through to the end of this war—and to the beginning of his life at peace.

But–

“The attack jammed the bomb release,” he notices. “We’ll have to manually override–”

A yell from LOCCENT cuts him off. Chuck’s stomach drops even further when he hears someone say, “Striker, you have two Kaiju converging on you fast!”

He curses loudly and immediately knows, There’s no time for a manual override.

The Marshal is on the intercom before Chuck can even begin to formulate a plan, shouting to Raleigh and Mako.

“You know exactly what you have to do,” he declares. “Gipsy is nuclear, take her to the Breach.”

“What can we do, sir?” Chuck asks, bracing for the hit.

“We can clear a path,” the Marshal answers firmly, a slight smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, “for the lady.”

Even without the drift connecting their thoughts, Chuck understands.

“Well, my father always said, ‘If you have a shot, you take it,’” he remarks, knowing that, on the other end, his father is listening with pride. Chuck can admit that he was an arrogant dickhead with no respect for any of the pilots around him and that he never bothered to hide his resentment for his old man, never gave him a reason to like the man his son had become. Yet, he knows—and has always known—that his father is proud of him. (He is proud of his father, too, for what it’s worth.)

In the final moments, his thoughts drift to you: swathed in blankets and gathered in his arms on cold winter nights, perched on the seat of a stationary bike and reading reports while keeping him company in the gym, wrapped in his brown leather jacket with Max’s leash in your hand while accompanying him for walks around the Shatterdome. He recalls your bright laughter when he’d crack stupid jokes, your serious voice you’d use only over the intercom, and the mischievous glint in your eyes when you’d pretend you hadn’t given Max extra treats.

“I love you,” he had said before entering the Conn-Pod, so quietly that only you could hear him, holding you tightly and kissing away your concerned frown. The warmth of your hands against his cheeks had lingered as he had stepped away.

“I love you,” he says now, loud enough for you to hear him over all the noise, swallowing the lump in his throat and blinking away the tears threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry we’ll never get that beach house.”

“But, I had you,” he says. “It was enough.”

When the bomb detonates, he’s surrounded by blinding light and a deafening boom. And, finally, peace.

In his dreams, he can’t tell where he is, only that Max is sitting at his feet, his father is somewhere in the distance, and you’re next to him with your hand in his, fingers intertwined.

#pacrim #pacific rim #chuck hansen #chuck hansen x reader #chuck hansen x you #chuck hansen imagine #my writing

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