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redroses07 · 20 days

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Day Off // Deke Shaw

Deke Shaw x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader is stressed out with shield agent life, and Deke encourages her to take a day off and discover earth with him.

W/C: 2k

Warnings: Kissing, violence, end of the world, yk just basic stuff.

A/N: Hey guys!! This took much longer to write than anticipated, my apologies I've been insanely busy recently. I've really been wanting to write for Deke though because there is a LACK of fics for him on this app. Anyways, I really hope y'all enjoy, love you guys! ₊˚⊹♡

You and your Shield team had finally arrived back from the future, and you were relieved to say the least.

Being trapped in an unfamiliar place was horrifying, not that you and your team hadn't been through worse.

Just because you were back didn't mean you were in the clear, and discovering Daisy was the one who was going to cause the destruction of planet earth only made things more distressing.

Even though Daisy didn't currently have her powers you could see the fear in her eyes. You were worried for her, and so was the rest of your team. You had all been working tirelessly to stop the end of the world, and as important as it was the exhaustion was beginning to catch up to you.

Right now you were heading down the hall to meet with your team about the ever concerning anomalies that had been appearing in the lighthouse.

As you rounded the corner you felt yourself slam into something...or rather someone.

"You okay darling?" The all too familiar voice mused from above you.

Deke, the boy from the future. With his gray eyes and rugged features, who you had somehow managed to fall for. You knew he felt the same, but between the plethora of near death experiences the two of you hadn't had time to address your feelings.

"Shit! Deke, I'm sorry." You jumped back, examining where you had slammed into him.

Thankfully there was no noticeable damage.

You ran your hands through your hair, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Hey, it's okay! It barely hurt!" Deke spun around quickly, and did a silly little dance.

"See, I'm in tip top shape." He put on a goofy smile, causing you to give him one in return.

"Where are you off to?" Deke asked, you forgot that the team didn't always include him in their meetings.

"Oh, just, uh, meeting Daisy and everyone,"

"But I honestly just need a break, I'm so tired of running around all the time."

You leaned against the wall, the stress you were under feeling heavier than the weight of the world.

Deke gave you a sympathetic smile and lightly squeezed your hand.

You began to lean into him, and you began to feel as if you were handing him some of the stress you were carrying.

"Hey I have an idea." Deke exclaimed, taking your hands and turning you to face him.

"You should spend the day with me!" He suggested, his face just beaming with excitement.

"Deke...I don't know, they're expecting me-"

"Please! If they ask, just tell them you got sick or something." Deke pleaded, giving you the saddest puppy dog eyes you had ever seen.

You thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of your decision. Yes, you would waste the day having fun when you could be helping your teammates. Although, you would be getting a much needed recharge, and with your favorite person at that. And by the way, how could you say no to that face?

"Okay fineee." You gave in.

Deke pumped his fist in the air with excitement, earning a laugh from you.

"Oh my god, you can show me all of the cool earth things I've been wanting to try! Like every flavor of ice cream, and football! You know, since I only got here like a week ago.."

You truly didn't understand why he got on everyone's nerves so much. He was just excited to have a chance at living the life he always dreamed of in the future, and there was honestly something so refreshing about that. Deke didn't take advantage of anything, because he knew what it was like to have nothing.

"Of course, let me get dressed and then we can go. We've gotta be sneaky about it though."

"You've got it babe." Deke replied, shooting your finger guns and a wink. You rolled your eyes and walked off.

Once you got changed out of your casual clothes, and packed a small bag you hurried to meet Deke outside. You were sure to dodge any Shield Agents that were coming your way.

When you arrived at the exit, Deke was already waiting. When He saw you he excitedly pulled out a notebook and flipped to a specific page.

"I made a list of everything I want to do today! I know we might not be able to do it all but i put little stars next to my favorites." Deke pointed to the tiny stars he had drawn next to several items on his, not so short to do list.

"You make me laugh you know that?" You said, snatching the notebook from his hands to look over it.

"Is it too much?"

"No, It's perfect." you looked up to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, causing his cheeks to turn a bright pink shade.

"Okay lets go!" You pulled him behind you as you headed toward your car that was parked in the nearby parking garage.

"I think this is my first time in one of these." Deke exclaimed as you drove towards your first destination.

"Well, is it everything you dreamed it would be?"

"Honestly, it's kinda underwhelming."

You let out a laugh, quickly turning to the side to make eye contact with Deke who was also laughing.

"I totally agree."

When you arrived at your first stop, Deke was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"You brought me to the beach?"

"I noticed that one had two stars next to it." you replied, pointing to the notebook laying on your console.

"I know it's not warm enough to get into the water, but we can at least walk on the sand and put our feet in."

"Are you kidding? This is amazing." Deke reached over into the driver's seat and hugged you tightly.

He quickly jumped out of the car and started racing towards the shore.

"Be careful! It's easy to fall on sand." You called, remembering how you had to get used to the way your feet sunk into the sand when you were a child.

Just as the words escaped your lips Deke fell face first into the sand.

Your heart raced worriedly as you rushed over to see if he was okay.

"Oh my god! I told you to be careful!" You snapped, leaning down to examine Deke who was still laying flat in the sand.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Deke rolled over, spitting sand out of his mouth.

You reached out your hand and helped him up, rolling your eyes as you did.

"Please watch yourself from now on." You said, refusing to loosen your grip on his hand.

After that care, not that the two of you hadn't gone through worse, you kept Deke close.

Were you really concerned, or were you using it as an excuse? That wasn't a question that needed to be answered.

As the two of you strolled towards the sore, hand in hand, you couldn't help but let your mind wander. Wander back to the unspoken feelings between the two of you. It's not as if nothing physical had ever happened between the two of you, holding hands and cuddling wasn't uncommon and you had even shared a kiss a few times, but nothing was ever really discussed.

Now was your long awaited chance, just the two of you, without impending doom hanging over your heads.

Well for the moment at least.

"Hey Deke..."

"mhm?" Deke stopped and looked up at you, tracing his thumb over your palm as he did.

"You know how I feel about you right?"

"What?"

"Everything that's happened, it's not just nothing. I really like you, just between the end of the world and time traveling I don't think I've remembered to tell you." You said all this without taking your eyes off Deke's.

You loved the way he looked at you, with such adoration.

For once, Deke didn't respond with his words but rather his actions. Without hesitation, he cupped your face and pressed many kisses to your lips, cheeks, and forehead.

He stopped to look at you, a giddy look on his face.

"Wait? So are we like, boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Deke said half jokingly.

"Only if you want to be." You got your answer when Deke kissed you again, this time with much more force. It was unlike any of the other kisses you two had shared, there was a sense of raw emotion behind it that hadn't been there before.

On your walk back to the car you leaned comfortably into Deke, no longer needing to worry about if it was 'too much'.

You began driving to your next activity, something that was a favorite of yours that you hoped he would really enjoy.

You pulled into the parking lot of your favorite dockside diner, and you could already smell the greasy french fries, and sizzling burgers. You watched as couples and groups of teens strolled down the dock, holding ice cream cones from the shop nearby.

Once you and Deke walked inside you found a waiter to get you a seat. You were seated quickly, and ordered drinks.

"So, is this somewhere you come a lot?"

"Yes, this is my favorite restaurant, and you haven't lived if you haven't had greasy American diner food."

Deke looked around at the place, excitedly examining everything. Once it came time to order, Deke couldn't decide between a bacon cheeseburger or chicken and waffles, so you agreed to get both and have half each.

Once your food arrived, you both ate quickly. Deke continuously snatched fries from your plate, stating each time that it was his last one. You ended up having to swat his hand away, claiming the rest of the fries.

Once you were finished you paid the bill and led Deke out to the dock.

You noticed him eyeing the ice cream parlor, so you asked him if he was up for dessert.

He happily agreed and ordered as many flavors of ice cream as they could fit on the cone. You doubted all those flavors would even taste good mixed together but as long as it made Deke happy.

You walked slowly down the dock, ice cream in one hand, and Deke's hand in the other.

At this point in the day the sun was beginning to sink below the clouds, and the temperature had dipped even lower. You realized you had forgotten to bring a jacket, as you had not planned to be out this late.

You began to shiver, and Deke took notice quickly. He pulled off his jacket, the one he wore nearly every day and offered it to you.

"Well won't you be cold?" you protested.

"Nah, temperatures were crazy in space, a little wind doesn't bother me."

You gave him a sympathetic smile and allowed him to wrap the jacket around your shoulders.

You decided to end your day sitting at the end of the dock and watching the sun sink between the clouds. Deke slipped his hand around your waist as the stars began to fade into view.

"It's so beautiful here, there weren't many beautiful things to look at where I used to live."

This filled you with sadness, and reminded you of the suffering Deke experienced his whole life.

"Deke, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to live a life like that." You whispered softly, nuzzling your nose into his neck.

"Well it may have sucked, but you know what? It led me to you."

You looked up to make eye contact with your boyfriend. He tucked a few loose pieces of hair behind your ears, and kissed you on the forehead.

"And you are more beautiful than all the stars in the sky combined."

Taglist: @nikki-is-a-nerd @somestardeww

#agents of shield fanfic #agents of shield fanfiction #agents of shield #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.#aos #aos fic #deke aos #deke shaw x reader #deke shaw #deke shaw fanfic #daisy johnson #marvel #aos fanfic #aos fandom #jemma simmons #leo fitz #agent coulson #phil coulson

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bonesandthebees · 2 months

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hey. it’s been a while :) not sure if you remember me but i just wanted to pop by and say that i will forever cherish your writing. your fics gave me a lot of comfort through a very dark time of mine, and reading about the silly fictional brothers made me feel a lot more excited and joyful in a world where i felt very lonely.

whenever i would read your stories, i couldn’t contain my very very dramatically fun reactions that i would say out loud to myself in my room (jumping up and down, screaming, crying, gasping, monologuing to myself, etc). i read so many different AUs and oneshots of yours and i couldn’t get enough! your work is so wonderful and i am AMAZED and how you can create such high-quality writing in a surprisingly short timeframe.

i loved clinic so much that i entered a 30 hour state of hyperfocus where i COULD. NOT. put it down. ruined my sleep schedule but it was so worth it!! and then i read it all again 2 days later. and then i read it AGAIN out loud to my friend over discord so he could enjoy it too :) i recommended world forgetting to a friend and it destroyed her (/pos). i kept recommending all of my friends your fics because they were all so wonderfully entertaining and had a level of quality that was hard to find elsewhere.

i loved clinic, world forgetting, stars, 17 hours, the vampire au, the mermaid au, and starman (?) (the horror one with the giant eye) and i’m sure there’s plenty more that are slipping my mind.

i’m currently in a place where i cannot decide if i’m even able to separate a content creator from his character. even the characters have been soured for me and it’ll be very tough to separate them. i hope i can, because they brought me so much joy in the past, and so did your writing :)

over the past year and a half or so i’ve been so lucky to be blessed with an absolutely wonderful girlfriend that i love very much, and i feel a lot less lonely and a lot more lighter. i’m more active in the real world and i’m doing more things that i love. because of this i’ve distanced from dsmp and unfortunately haven’t had enough time to fully understand qsmp (which is a shame because i love quackity and have been watching him quite literally since 2013 and he is very dear to me). but!! i still rant and rave about your stories to my girlfriend and i even got her to read clinic :)

ANYWAY… very long ramble hahah but all of this is to say that your work was very important in my life and even if i’m going to distance myself from this fandom, i will always love and cherish your writing!!! thank you for your labor of love and i won’t be forgetting about you anytime soon!!

i hope you’re doing well. take care of yourself!! have your favorite cookie!! sending hugs! <3

and ps, the scene where siren has his identity revealed is still one of my fav scenes in writing EVER and i still think about how beautifully tragic it was <3 i think about it a lot. u made me cry for like 45 minutes how dare youuuuuu hahah

I hope you know before I even read this ask I saw the url and immediately went "oh my god lostmellohi it's been so long I've missed them!!!" so, don't worry, I remember you very well and I'm so happy to see you here again!

it makes me so happy to hear how much you've enjoyed my writing over the years. hearing stuff like that only makes me more confident in my decision to not take down any of my stuff regardless of recent events. I never want to take away something of mine that has given you and others that much joy. these stories are mine first and foremost, but as readers they're yours too. they've given you so much enjoyment over the years and that can never be taken away from you.

I totally understand what you mean about being unsure if you'll be able to separate the cc and the character in the future. it's not an easy thing and right now I get the urge to wince every time I read wilbur's name, even if it's in the context of c!wilbur and/or a fic. I believe it'll get easier for all of us with time, so don't worry about it too much right now. it's only been a week since shelby's stream happened. feelings will settle.

congrats on the girlfriend!! I hope she enjoyed clinic lol. I'm so happy you've been doing better though and have been able to do more things that you love. enjoy that kind of stuff whenever you can. qsmp isn't going anywhere and you'll always be able to catch up whenever you have time.

thank you for this it genuinely made me so happy to read. wishing you the best for things in the future and I hope you take care of yourself <33

also, yeah, whenever I think back on the siren identity reveal I'm like damn I did pull that off really well huh. lmao so glad you enjoyed :)

#ask #lostmellohi #wilbur situation

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rggcharacterarchive · 6 months

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intro post

hey! this is a blog dedicated to archiving character interactions in the ryu ga gotoku series. ideally, this can be a resource for anyone looking to find particular exchanges or checking characterization. the focus will be on non-cutscene interactions, but some cutscenes may be included. my hope is that i can begin with major characters (i.e. kiryu and haruka) and branch out to minor characters (i.e. pocket circuit fighter)

DETAILS:

1. posts will be tagged with names of the characters involved and the game(s) the screenshot(s)/video(s) originate from.

if the relationships are particularly frequent/prominent, then i may have a tag like "kiryu and date" for their interactions specifically.

if you're looking for something, check the featured tags.

if you still can't find something, feel free to reach out to me, and i'll see what i can do.

if there is a common merged name for that dynamic (i.e. a ship name, though some people use these to refer to a dynamic generally), then it's likely i'll include that as well, regardless of whether the content is romantic or my feelings on that pairing, so that people can find what they're looking for more easily. if i make exceptions, it will be in extreme instances, and i reserve judgement on those. please don't ride my ass for this, i don't want to have to block you. this is for everyone. play nice.

2. i will be accepting submissions and requests for particular characters and/or interactions, etc.

use the submissions to send in screenshots/footage, and use asks for requests/other communication.

if you're not sure if something belongs on this blog, go ahead and ask/submit! chances are i'll put it there anyway if it's official rgg stuff.

please do not submit fake/doctored screenshots, even as a joke, without explicitly stating that they are fake/edited. i don't think i'll have the time/means to verify all of these myself, so please just... don't do that. don't shit where you drink, y'know?

submissions are especially welcome for hard to access dialogue (i.e amon victory dialogue) or games that are hard to access (i.e. kenzan or the kurohyou games).

it'll make it a whole lot easier to fill this archive with others helping out, but feel free to be browse-only!! even if i populate this blog on my own, i'm very excited and happy to be able to do this. :D

3. submissions will be accepted for all games under the rgg banner, but i will likely be unable to fulfill requests for games i haven't played/don't have access to.

in such cases, i will likely put out requests to the broader community to see if someone can provide what you're looking for. i'd suggest not making such asks anonymously so i can @ you if i get it, but it's up to you. i'll try to keep track, but forgive me if i don't.

currently, i have played 0-7 and LAD ishin. i have the judgement duology, but i have not played them yet.

4. please be patient with me!

im writing this at the blog's creation so im not sure how it'll go, but requests will likely take some time to fill, especially if they require a lot of time (i.e. late-game hostess or real estate dialogue).

additionally, if i get a lot of requests, response time will likely be slow.

i'm a full-time college student, but i'll do my best!!

5. interactions will be from my main, @skrunksthatwunk . come say hi there if you wanna :3

Sometimes I'll post analyses/meta posts in the reblogs of things from this account. I'm trying to keep the archive neutral on analysis and intepretation, but I loooove analyzing and interpreting rgg so that's where that'll be. I'll put it under the "archive response" tag on skrunksthatwunk if you want to find them.

6. i'm open to suggestions on organization or content, especially right now, since the blog is very fresh. it's a community resource, and it exists for us.

i may take away this feature or not implement suggestions based on my judgement in the future, but right now it's all good, and i don't think i'll stop it unless shit gets really caustic or out of hand.

7. there will likely be a delay on new games, and i don't know how quickly i will put out content.

i expect it will be a very gradual process, but we'll see.

8. i'll add tags for characters to the tags i use as i post.

if there isn't one, chances are i haven't made a post with them yet, but feel free to ask me directly.

ok update i didn't know they limited featured tags so you'll just have to search for some of them

9. some characters/dynamics may be difficult to tag. in such cases, i'll try to come up with a system for:

types of characters (i.e. "hostess: rina" or "hostess: yuki")

or groups (i.e. "morning glory orphans", "ichigang", "shinsengumi", "majima construction")

if there's nothing else, i'll likely put the game if it's a one-off character (i.e. "mayumi (yakuza 5)")

this might be a bit shaky, but i'll try to make it all very clear and send out updates if/when i change things.

10. i might end up tagging certain things "archive: x" so i don't clog up popular tags (i.e. "archive: kazumaji"), but we'll see.

11. some posts may require threads. i will tag the final posts in these "🧵" to indicate it is the final version, and i will edit the top of the chain with a link to its finished version for user convenience.

my hope is that this'll make it easier to find the full post without having to dig through reblogs, especially if the post gets popular (because people may not reblog the whole thing, and may reblog an earlier version without the link. which is totally fine btw).

if a post gets popular, i may add another tag called "popular", to make it easier to search for these posts specifically. search for this along with 🧵 or character(s) and game(s) for the best results finding older, popular posts.

again, if you're really struggling, reach out, and i'll do what i can to help you.

12. various other infrastructure tags:

"text only" for pure transcriptions (i.e. transcribing a cutscene, no screenshots)

"screenshot" for posts that have images (these will include alt ID transcriptions, but "text only" is intended for screen reader use. i do not use screen readers myself, so if there's anything i can do to improve that experience, i would love to know)

"video" for posts with videos, which will have transcriptions under a readmore (and will likely have text only transcriptions, which i'll try to link to such posts)

"cinematic"" if the content is from a fully animated cinematic (i.e. ones you can rewatch from the menu)

"cutscene" for those scenes that are mandatory to progress the plot and often happen between cinematics, but are posed in the typical dialogue format (i.e. scrolling text in boxes)

"overworld" for dialogue that occurs in other circumstances (i.e. speaking to an npc, substory dialogue)

"objective" for objectives located on the pause menu, which are characterized as the player character's inner monologue

"substory" for content from substories (these will likely also separately be tagged "substory #: title"). if they are from a particular minigame's line of substories, i'll tag them something like "mesuking" to distinguish them

"maps" for maps

"menus" for store inventory and bar/restaurant menus

"location ref" for references of particular locations, especially interiors (i.e. tojo HQ)

"location: x" for various locations, i.e. serena, purgatory, prison, restaurants, etc

"inventory" for items (corresponding to the game's classification of them)

"equipment" for weapons and armor (corresponding to the game's classification of them)

"abilities" for ability descriptions, categories, users, and costs

"messages" for emails, pager messages, etc (excluding phone calls, which have their own tag)

"phone calls" for phone calls, both cutscene and overworld

"misc" for other stuff, in case you're having trouble

[will do my best to update these as i get all this better]

13. when applicable, i'll indicate chapters. cinematics will be labeled "CHXCMY", where X = the chapter number and Y = the cinematic number. this way they can be reviewed in order

anyway, i hope you enjoy!

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paradeoflaughter · 2 years

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Under the cut cause I ramble on about shit and am sad.

It's 1AM and I have to get ready to go to work in 5 hours but I'm wide awake and have been crying cause my mom isn't around to do wedding stuff with me. This year marked the year I've spent more years without her than I did with her and yet all this wedding stuff is making it feel like it was just yesterday. It's been a long time since I've sobbed over missing my mom and yet here I am.... I found a couple of blog posts from other motherless daughters planning their wedding and it made me realize one of the reasons I've been putting off doing wedding planning even though we've been engaged almost a year now - I don't know what I'm going to do without my mom. Sure I was only 16 when she died and we certainly weren't in that friend stage yet but that doesn't mean I don't grieve the fact that she can't go with me to pick out my wedding dress or be there for the big day. I honestly have no idea who I even want to go with to find a dress. My best friend is my fiance and I can't go with him. My dad got remarried but she's not my mom - I don't think of her as a mom. My future mother in law is wonderful but she's also not my mom. My family is super supportive but they also just don't feel right to go with. I don't have any super close girl friends. Like I have some girl friends but a) one of them lives in another state and the last time I sent her a text opening up about stuff I felt vulnerable about she didn't even reply, b) the other sort of close girl friend I have is leaving the country soon and I don't know if she'd even want to go with me, c) the other girl friends I have I don't really ever talk to outside of when I see them at group stuff so that just feels weird too. I've been toying with the idea of just going alone but I don't know if I'm just going to end up feeling really sad and alone and just start crying and it being super awkward for the people at the bridal shop. I still feel iffy about covid shit anyways so I'm not even looking forward to trying on dresses and wearing a mask and being worried about getting covid from dress shopping.

I can't wait to be married but I wish I was more excited about the planning part. I used to dream about planning a wedding and how fun it would be and now I'm just sad because I don't have my mom and I'm anxious about covid that is still very much a thing no matter how much people want to just go back to their pre-covid lives.

I'm also really not looking forward to this weekend. It's my grandfather's funeral and there's gonna be a ton of people there I haven't talked to in ages and I kind of just stopped talking to cause I was covid depressed and then there's my family who is probably just gonna bombard us asking about wedding planning stuff even though I've been too sad to plan anything. (In full transparency we also bought a house earlier this year which was super stressful and I wouldn't have wanted to plan a wedding at the same time but now that we're more settled the only thing holding us back is me and I don't know what to do) and it's gonna be inside and I don't want to get covid. I've avoided it this long and I really don't want to get sick.

It's now 1:40AM and what the fuck am I doing with my life. I'm gonna be so tired when my alarm goes off even though I'm not tired now.

It's crazy how earlier today I was in such a good mood and then I was watching someone's stream that I'm a sub and vip in and they didn't say hi or respond to anything I said and I know from past experience they've said that sometimes they say hi to someone in their head or just think they've already said hi when they didn't actually so it was probably nothing personal at all (like I'm a VIP that they chose to give me themselves) but it still always makes me feel so left out when I talk in someone's stream and no one acknowledges it and deep down I wonder if everyone blocked me. I'm almost 33 why the fuck do I even care about this shit.

I just want people to like me and I also miss my mom. What a complex.

#my life #personal #wish me luck getting to sleep

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lovecolibri · 3 years

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I love Alex and want him to exist outside of Malex obviously, but I really hated to have an episode where I honestly couldn't tell if Michael crossed his mind at all. Even in s1, when he wasn't ready to be with him, we were constantly getting reminders that Alex loves Michael and that his actions are heavily influenced by those feelings. I know there were quite a few episodes like this in s2 with Malex in a bubble and us not knowing if Michael ever thought of Alex at all, but it's the last thing I want this season. Discussing joining Deep Sky and Max dying with Kyle felt incomplete without addressing the Michael of it all. Of course all of Alex's decisions shouldn't revolve around Michael, but Malex have had a major impact on each other's lives, and I am tired of seeing that constantly downplayed for at least one of them.

Uuuuuugh, the fact that Alex was constantly talking about Michael, by name, not just "Guerin" and defending him to other people even when he wasn't around vs....whatever the hell that was in 3x01. I'm going to nab the conclusion that is just sitting right there and put that on c*rina writing this episode because, just like with f*rlex, it's supposed to be a flipped script from season 2 and m*luca in order to drag out more relationship drama and keep Malex apart. I'm really hoping with her gone, that will change in future episodes. I am Tired(TM) of Malex existing in a bubble and hopefully this season we will get everyone else not just possibly "knowing" they used to be a "thing" but acknowledging exactly how important Alex and Michael are to each other. Like, Max and Liz never kissed or even dated and didn't speak at all for ten years and everyone is going on and on and how much Max loves Liz and can't move on, but even after finding out that Michael was Alex's museum guy, Liz and m*ria brushed their connection and relationship aside like it was nothing despite the fact that they have kept up with each other all this time ("in all our years of doing this") and were together before Alex left. Isobel pushes the m*luca thing so hard that her moment in 2x13 during the song felt totally unearned because she never once ask Michael about Alex or how he was doing or if maybe he was throwing himself into something unhealthy to avoid dealing with Max and his mom dying and what he found out about Sanders and everything he went through all last season. No one brings up Alex except to throw it in Michael's face and I am soooooo ready to be done with that shit.

Sorry, season 2 still makes me want to throttle someone. ANYWAY, I am very excited to see the journey Alex is going to go on this season because I feel like we are going to get more background on his military history and stuff! And I think we'll get to see him thinking about Michael as he does things or makes choices without them entirely about Michael if that makes sense.

#my sweet nonnie friends #roswell nm #season 3 spoilers #alex manes #michael guerin #malex #anti maria deluca #anti miluca #season 2 just really fucked everything up in a way that is nearly impossible to fix #and i will absolutely die mad about it

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nctaezen · 3 years

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Hi there love! Tis I, glitch anon. I am just popping in to see how are you? I haven't seen you around my dash :c I hope all is ok, you are eating yummy food and enjoying everything that nct have been doing! Love ya! *throws glitter and skips away*

Hey my lovely! How you've been these days? I know, it's been quite a while since we last talked and oh boy, I was caught up in so many things like, could my summer be better or worse?

Long-short story I was gone for a couple of days after my covid vaccine, I got like all the worse reactions, similar to an actual infection which literally put my body to a huge challenge, it was something I never imagined to happen but I wasn't the only one, so yeah I had to deal with it. My mind really wanted to be here and in other places, but my body wasn't ready for you that, you know? Anyway, not dragging this too long, I'm fully vaccinated and healthy, thank goodness and I hope I could keep that for a long long time.

Before that, as I mentioned in my last ask I had lots of birthday coming up and stuff, it was a month full of celebrations. It was my birthday as well. Oh and yeah, talking about how I spent my birthday. I went to this Korean café in my town and I had some delicious snacks and I have to say that I completely fell in love with their bingsu. The red bean, traditional one. I never had such a delicious ice cream before like, oh god. It was like heaven to me. I'm eager to go there again and taste the matcha one as well. It was a calming friendly day, nothing too fancy, but sweet hehe

I'm starting to eat a bit better these days, because I couldn't before with all this sickness caused by the vaccine and this week I tried to make a recipe of peach cobbler, which I saw on TV and it turned a huge success! I never knew of such desserts before and I might try to make more in the future. I have to say that I love US for all those oven and pies recipes. Literally the best, since I have a huuuge sweet tooth haha

I took a sneak peak at the last message you sent me and we talked about comebacks and stuff and damn now I’m back into NCITY and it’s on fiiiireee

wayv, dream and 127 bombing us with content is so sudden but so exciting to me, I missed my hectic days into this kpop hole hahah of course there are other comebacks I’ve been looking into as well and there is still more to come. It’s that time of the year when music awards are approaching as well, we have to get our souls and mind ready for it.

i didn’t do much these days since I mostly had to lay down and sleep so there isn’t much update on me, but by the end of the month I plan to do a small trip inside the country, i’ll be on holiday during the month of september so I will be around for that time to hype up all the future comebacks so we will talk more frequently :)

How did you spent these days? Are you planning to do some kind of trip or vacation? Not sure how the situation is over there, but here things are getting much better so we have no more restrictions, gladly we have more freedom to travel these days. Hope to hear from you soon. Have a nice sweet day ♡♡♡

#anon #glitch anon #reply

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mytastessuck · 3 years

Text

Gorillaz: Humanz

SHere it is, the comeback tour! I was so excited for this album, I sucked all the singles that came out before I could download the album. This album basically reminded me of the reasons I love Gorillaz. All of them. One particular reason a little too well...

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. This album is a bit controversial among the community for playing a little too hard to one of Gorillaz' strengths: showcasing cool artists. There are more than a few tracks where Damon doesn't even show up. Hell, my favorite track doesn't even have it on him. Me, I honestly don't care about that as long as I get to hear good music but for the rest of you die hard Gorillaz fans? Just think of this as a compilation album like NOW That's What I Call Alternative/Indie Hip-Hop/R&B/Electronica/Pop.

See? Rolls off the tongue. Now let's get started.

1. Intro: I Switched My Robot Off

Nice. Real ominous. Gorillaz really know how to build up a presentation. Feels like you're walking through the doors of the doors to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Anybody remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Were there doors on that stage? Anyway, awesome.

10/10

2. Ascension

Holy hell, Vince really knocks it out of the park on this one. Different beat, nice flow, social commentary...He was not fucking around on this track. Damon's barely on the track but Vince makes up for it with his existential rhymes and chorus back-up. Man, Gorillaz has gotta take advantage of gospel more often.

9/10

3. Strobelite

That didn't take long, did it? Anyway, this is my favorite song on the album. Peven has an incredible voice, the music psychically compels you to dance and...that's it. Sometimes, well usually with me, you just need to go with Simple Yet Awesome. Have a good voice and a good beat. This song has both and I'm pretty sure that one day, a scientist will hear this song and will be inspired by it to cure diabetes.

100/10

4. Saturn Barz

Ah, the lead single from the album. Remember the 360 house, everyone? Yeah, you remember. Glad to have Gorillaz welcome back Reggae into their line-up with Popcaan manning the helms. He and Damon tag-team the eardrums with the power of dread as the instrumentation makes you feel like you're in a haunted house. Welcome back, guys.

25/10

5. Momentz

WELCOME BACK, GUYS! De La Soul returns to say some real shit about time and how you should, respect and stuff. Seriously, awesome track. Kicks so much ass and you can even dance to it as you wonder if this MOMENT will be one of the last times when you feel really happy. Nice...

9/10

6. Interlude: The Non-Conformist Oath

Hey, Steve Martin! I like to imagine a bunch of assholes listening to this and...just not getting it. Not us though. We get it. We're smart. Smarter than those guys...

10/10

7. Submission

This song had to grow on me but years after I got the album and after I learned to appreciate Danny Brown a little more like all humans should, this song became one of my favorites off the album. Don't worry Kelela, he doesn't carry the whole song. Her voice is so beautiful that it can calm a charging rhino or a coked-up Connor McGregor. These make the song a lot classier than it had any right being.

90/10

8. Charger

She's beauty, she's Grace...she's also Jones. Man, I haven't heard from this woman since Corporate Cannibal and she has clearly been keeping up practice. God, how can a woman's laughter both scare and arouse me? Damon's no slouch on this track either, singing about the monster that keeps us all tethered: the charger. I kid, I kid. Hey, did Damon really get a boner on stage when he sung this or are you guys messing with me? Message me if you know.

9/10

9. Interlude: Elevator Going Up

On a recent trip, I tried to go up the elevator but it was card-activated so a desk lady had to help me. That's it.

8/10

10. Andromeda

Damon has to do the heavy lifting here and his muscles have not completely wasted away from lack of use. He tells us to take in our heart and you know what? I did. I took this song directly in my heart...and my playlist.

50/10

11. Busted And Blue

Yeah, this song is a bummer. A good bummer. It's Broken's younger brother who joined the army to make his parents proud after he couldn't get into university like his older brother who managed to form a separate family with his squad and began to think that maybe he was good enough after all before his squad gets bombed and, as he lies legless dying painfully on the ground, a blue butterfly land directly on his outstretched busted hand...

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

10/10

12. Interlude: Talk Radio

You ever wonder how we get voices in machines? I know you think it's a complicated process but I know a dude who picked up the radio in his electric fan once. Think about it.

8/10

13. Carnival

Again, this song had to grow on me but one day, while I was thinking about Gamzee for a godforsaken reason, I thought "Geez, he talks about the Dark Carnival and the Dark Carnival isn't even some of ICP's best days. What's a good song about a carnival?" Anyway, Anthony can spin a person's mind and mind around just by singing. He's wild.

80/10

14. Let Me Out

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Mavis was Vince's mother? She's not but that would be funny as well as cool. Her and Pusha T bang on the walls of this track as they rant about the politics at the time of this song. Yeah, they're talking about Trump. That car horn can't protect you forever, you orange bastard.

9/10

15. Interlude: Penthouse

Dear Penthouse: Hi. Does anyone check in on you, just you? I'm here to say I think you're important and you provide a necessary outlet for men to brag about being perverts. At least before the Youtube comment section existed.

Thanks for everything,

mytastessuck

8/10

16. Sex Murder Party

Ooooo, this track puts me in a funky mood. Like, there's a part but there's sex there...and MURDER. So you know it's an awesome party. Kick-ass, right? I know it's kick-ass. Keep dancing, people.

11/10

17. She's My Collar

Pretty sexy song. Gotta love people vauging about being used in a song. That's why we love Offspring, that's why we love Damon on his knees onstage. Hey, there was a post that said Noodle wrote this song about her girlfriend. That was an excellent post. Well done.

9/10

18. Interlude: The Elephant

I SAID GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARD!

8/10

19. Hallelujah Money

Ah, the technical first single. Remember when they said that they weren't going to put this song on the album? Anyway, this is exactly the song we needed after The Incident occurred. Benjamin manages to calm down an entire populace while Damon just fearfully wonders what our future will be like...and he's in the UK. This song is one long terrifying lullaby to an entire country...until the end, anyway.

75/10

20. We Got The Power

A great way to remind listeners that no matter what's happening, no matter who's in charge, we have the power change everything. An excellent message for people who were still recovering from The Incident.

10/10

21. Interlude: New World

Okay, the bonus tracks. Should be nothing special here, right? Just some B-sides and I've never shown favoritism towards B-sides, right?

8/10

22. The Apprentice

A nice song from the same Rag n' Bone Man who brought us "Human". Zebra manages to lay down some nice rhymes as Ray BLK backs them both up with the force of her voice. These guys should form a team with how well they work together. Oh, they should make a virtual band! All they need to do is find an artist...

9/10

23. Halfway To The Halfway House

A very nice song if a bit overshadowed by the others on the album. Still, Peven can't be beat when it comes to crooning and he raises a song from a solid C to a B.

8/10

24. Out of Body

This song had to grow on me also but when it did...lord, this song is weird. Hypnotic suggestions, telephone tones, the song starts then Zebra jumps in to help then who is this person?! Why are people applauding?! Who are you people?! Why are there so many crows gathering outside my house?!

60/10

25. Ticker Tape

Well well well, look who's back. Damon returns with his old friend Kali to join the accuser of the vain Carly Simon to beg us to stay on the album. Sorry Damon, but I got places to do and people to go. There's nothing you can do to convince me to stick around after how long this album already is.

9/10

26. Circle of Friendz

Huh. Seems like a riot is going on. Weird for Gorillaz to get this real. What, this guy is just going to keep saying Circle of Friendz again and again? Is this supposed to affect me? Get real. It'll take a lot more than a nice voice and implications to...

To...

...

...Maybe I should listen to the album again.

11/10

Album score: 25/10

Damn, that took a while. Shouldn't be the case next week when we cover The Now Now. See you then!

#gorillaz #humanz #music #review

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x-exo · 3 years

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Hehe but why would I not do such nice things and reblog your amazing creations like ??? I must share, I must show love

Dhkadnsk I felt that xD and then shortly after we got wonho's comeback and I screamed because oh my gosh yesss!! This song is just flippen amazing, I really love that 80's vibe we are getting (it reminds me of songs my parents listen too from that time) and the dancing. I LOVE how just smooth he is dancing, apparently he wanted to appear like water for the dance and he pulled it off. I'm proud for both boys, they put out amazing works of art that has me both dancing and crying in the club

Exo wise, kyungsoo is amazing like you said, the way he is casual about his solo album talk is making me laugh but be excited like I'm curious what style he will go for? Sehun has a movie coming out soon I think (catboy for the win lol) and lastly chanyeol. Welp it seems to be an exo trend where the boys surprise us with something good and then they say "peace out" lol. This makes me laugh a bit, idk I'm weird cx but while I do wish we could have a bit something more from chanyeol (or him address the chaos from a while back) i hope he will do well at the military! It was going to happen soon for him and soon baekhyun so now nor never right?

Yeah I couldn't send an anon :c asks are on but not anon, not sure if it was a glitch on my end. But for mingyu, its getting a bit more chaotic if you have been catching up (I know you said you are taking a break which i support! I will miss seeing you active but take a break for sure! Your happiness and health is important and this news with mingyu is alot. Come back when ready of course! I'll be here and others as well!) But one thing for sure is pledis DID their job and put out an announcement! They confirmed one of the accusations to be false, they are working on getting things more cleared up and in the meantime mingyu is on a hiatus. Its a good step and I'm guessing for the more series stuff they are getting evidence and talking with everyone they can and put it out like starship did for kihyun. As a mingyu stan I'm happy one part is cleared up BUT this isn't far from being fixed which is what I'm seeing many fans say "oh we should have believed him in the first place" and I am sitting her confused because like no, it isn't? We don't know any of these idols, they are meant to just entertain us with music really as you said. They still need to clear up the first set of comments so I'm happy things are being done, its far from being finished so I'm staying in the middle still. All I know is there's the issue with mistranslations that also are causing problems

Ok i wrote alot I'm so sorry dnakdba but I hope you're doing good!! I may hope off on anon sometime in the future! Dont wanna bother you with shoving myself into your dms lol. Ps fudge kakao m as well

sorry again for taking ages to answer 😔😔 i’ve been away from here for a while but omg thank you again for being so nice :’)

I’ve been OBSESSED but like OBSESSED with Wonho’s Devil OMG it’s literally one of the best songs that have been released in the last few years HIS MIND ??????? i love it so much wow also CHANGKYUN all his songs are so good and mysterious and sexc and so him i love them so much (all the content i’ve been getting from him these past months... chef’s kiss!!)

Chanyeol is finally in war and Baekhyun is leaving next month! I’m happy they can take a break and focus on other things other than being idols tbh and they’ve prepared things for when they’re away! I’m really looking forward to every 27th of every month omg pcy and his big ass brain! i wonder what’s he prepared! also he’s got a station coming out tomorrow which i’m v excited about (even though sm for some reason won’t give him his well deserved solo but that’s to discuss another day smh...) ALSO DID YOU SEE OBSESSION XIÜMIN???? MY GOD the concept was tailored for him omg i’m so glad he knew we wanted him in there and he delivered!!!!

As for the mingyu thing...things have been kind of “cleared” out now but i feel weird still idk i’m still waiting for him to say something on the matter tbh idk if it’s ever gonna happen but..yeah but at the same time i miss seventeen and gose so much i hope they come back soon

BUT...

HOSHI

HOSHI!!!!!! omg hoshi ???????? i’m in love with spider and the mv and the concept it suits him so well AND THE CHOREO???? i can’t wait for studio choom and to see him perform it live on music shows (i think he’s going to attend a couple???) he looks so good and seems so happy to be releasing his music! nd also the seventeens hyping him up at any given chance??? we love to see it!

but anyways i hope you’re doing well too! and hope out of anon whenever you want to ☺️ also we got the songs back!!! yessss but still fuk kakao m for being petty

#ask

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sandyfeetshshop · 3 years

Text

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simmancy · 6 years

Note

I was wondering how you first started your berry legacy? Did you make a new simblr for it? How did you first start posting and getting into a routine? I really want to make a legacy myself but i'm scared that it would look really mediocre and unorganized! Any tips on how to plan out the storyline and start posting? Thank you!! (asking this to a few different blogs so sorry if yo see this question somewhere else)

I’m honestly super honored that you’re asking me! I’m still a pretty small simblr compared to a lot of people.

I’m going to put this under a cut, just so it doesn’t clutter up people’s dashes because I RAMBLE (like seriously, I’m re-reading it all now and I go on and on and on) but I’m gonna cover everything you asked!

TL;DR: get mildly inspired, get involved in the community and have fun with it!

I cannot recommending creating a new blog enough. While it’s definitely easier to just create a sub-blog off your personal, you’ll have a harder go at keeping things separate once things take off. Plus then you probably won’t have ALL your million tumblr things that you’re already following mixed in with your sim stuff, making things so much harder to follow.

Once you start your simblr (whether a sub-blog or whole new tumblr), TAG EVERYTHING. XKIT SAVES LIVES. Not really, but it will save you a lot of time once you install the Quick Tags and make tag bundles. Seriously.

At least once a day, a “reblog if you’re a maxis match simblr” thing comes across my dash–don’t be afraid to reblog those when you’re starting out. (Or the alpha equivalent if that’s your thing).

Seriously, don’t be afraid to reach out to people and get involved. Ask for sim requests, reply to things, join a Discord server–don’t be afraid to talk to people! I’ve actually made a few good friends this time around. It’s awesome.

This is just one of the unfortunate realities about things–if your pictures look good, you’ll get noticed quicker and blah blah. You can get by on just writing, but it’s a lot harder. This is still tumblr. It’s microblogging. LOOOOONG text posts (like this one lmao) are not what it’s geared towards.

Anyway. I play TS4 on Ultra, and that does a lot of work for me. Sometimes all you really need to do is sharpen and brighten things up. Reshade is another good alternative, if your computer can handle it–that takes a lot of the decision making out because it edits for you! I used to use PickyPikachu’s reshade presets. The downside is that it’s pretty resource heavy.

The basic point here is that having good lookin’ pictures goes a long way to making your stuff look “not mediocre.”

Also, and this is a side thing–find a good theme for your simblr, something that looks good for both text posts and pictures, probably something with either a sidebar or header (or both).

This is the meat of the section and it’s all really Kit/Pastille-specific.

I started up the Pastel Pastilles because I saw Berry’s challenge–I had already read Splash of Color a long time ago, and had a (now obviously abandoned) TS3 rainbowcy. But TS4 was fun and ran like a beast and I liked berry sims, so I dove in. If you were to go back in my archives, though, you’d see that I started posting a TS3 LEPacy, and that’s not even my first one.

I’m not going to even talk about the Grims in this post, since they’re really new. But they’re a prime example of using community involvement to stay interested haha. I’m very excited to play with Ruby and her future family because of all the nice sims people sent for her to eat alive become friends with.

Planning with the Pastilles

With the Pastilles, I honestly got a little tipsy one night and did my initial planning based around Halsey’s Hopeless Fountain Kingdom. Like… Not even gonna lie. That was honestly my starting point. You can almost see hints of this in some places. From there, I had certain scenes I wanted to hit.

Gen 1 - Luna - “Hopeless”; it’s about being in a shitty relationship and hoping that changes lmao (“I hope hopeless changes over time”). Luna and Dianthus were meant to have a much more obviously toxic relationship but Luna ended up having four kids by her second pregnancy and I just couldn’t play and write that fast. However, I always knew that Luna’s big moment would be telling Dianthus to get out.

Gen 2 - Verity Vine - “Now or Never”/“100 Letters” - There are a couple things that have stayed consistent in this gen: Veri and her dreams, the peach spouse’s dad was gonna be a dick and they would be separated for years, and they were gonna hook back up at a wedding.

My very first concept was that Riesling was going to be a bit more wishy-washy and bend to his father’s will (hence “Now or Never” being the song). By the middle of the generation, it was clear that Veri would become the distant one (“he said ‘please don’t go away,’ I said ‘it’s too late’”).

Part of writing a sims legacy sometimes is… letting the sims do the writing for you. Meri and Forest weren’t supposed to be the ones getting married (it was supposed to be Chai Tea and Black Cherry) and they definitely weren’t supposed to have the twins but honestly the story is better for it, you know? And obv most of Veriling’s story isn’t the way I initially planned.

All this said, once I knew where I wanted the story to go, I knew I wanted to plan around a few set-pieces: the fountain scene where Riesling trips onto Veri and she realizes “OH SHIT,” the scene where Eiswein walks in, Punk!Veri’s “I don’t dream at all anymore,” and Riesling’s “Hi, I’m Riesling Puck, you might recognize me from your dreams.” Those were all scenes I knew I HAD to get.

Gen 3 - ??? - “Angel on Fire” - it’s about anxiety lmao so I don’t mind linking it, it’s pretty obvious. Gen 3 has an anxious heir, a song about anxiety was on the nose.

I don’t really recommend the getting tipsy part, but definitely do recommend going in with a basic concept.

The cool thing about challenges is that you already have the guidelines as a starting point. One of my favorite parts about this challenge in particular is seeing how people re-interpret the rules–for instance compare the Gumdrops, Frosts, Amours, Pastilles, Fairyflosses, Prisms–we all started from the same basic rules and there’s still a lot of variation, especially once you get past the initial introductions.

Also, SERIOUSLY: don’t be afraid to take inspiration from crazy places–a song you heard on the radio, a movie, your own life, whatever. Like, I decided Veri’s generation would have it’s first Act at Oxtail University because of the “dream of ivy covered walls and smoky french cafes” line in “Beautiful” (from the Heathers musical). The song otherwise has VERY LITTLE to do with Gen 2. It’s just that line became a starting point for me.

Keeping Things Lookin’ Snazzy with the Pastilles

Looking back, you can kind of see Gen 1 was a bit brighter and lighter/different in editing style than Gen 2. I purposefully set out to get a “dreamy” feel for Gen 2′s pictures. It works for me and the Pastilles–it might not for your legacy! Play around with things to see what works.

I’ve also noticed a lot of banners nowadays (they weren’t as big my first go around here on simblr, but they’re everywhere now). I think that helps to keep things “on brand,” organized and consistent too. I personally don’t use a banner for the Pastilles–I didn’t start with one, and now it looks super wrong to me when I try to use one…. So instead, I’d recommend looking at @frost-rainbowcy–she is SUPER on-brand. I can only aspire to reach that level of #a e s t h e t i c.

HOWEVER, I do keep everything on my blog hyper-organized–there’s a main page where everything’s pretty much linked, and the character page.

TBH, you don’t need to go that in-depth. I just like leaving weird easter eggs in places. You might too.

Posting Consistently

So, I started posting the Pastilles officially almost a week after I made the first post with Luna. That’s because I played a BUNCH right at the beginning, so I’d have something consistent to post for a while. It wasn’t initially as story-heavy as it is now. That’s something you probably want to decide before you start posting.

Right now, I’m posting inconsistently because I’m trying to wait around for Cats and Dogs and not give into the temptation to give Veri and Ries the babies they keep wishing for, but….

I’m in game almost every day–I get off work most days between 2 and 4 now, so by 6 PM I’ve eaten/showered/started up TS4. Even if it’s just to make a sim for someone.

I tend to do all my picture editing on Sundays, as it’s my day off. Sometimes it bleeds over into Monday, my other day off. I don’t always write posts up those days, but I at least stick them in the queue so they’re THERE. For me, it helps giving myself that weird deadline lmao

As a result, I almost always have something queued up.

I utilize the queue like MAD. Right now it’s set at 6 posts a day between 3 PM and 12 AM EST, but I change it up depending on what I have going on and what I can crank out. Usually I leave it on 13 posts a day.

Basically, learn what works for you. It does take some trial and error, but you’ll get it eventually.

Now here’s the real truth: you won’t post consistently if you don’t love your game or your sims.

I love playing the Pastilles as much as I love writing them. To the point that I have them backed up in several places just in case. I’m genuinely attached to the family, and that makes it worth it to me. Sometimes that doesn’t happen immediately (I love Luna, and Vino, and even Dianthus that shitbag, but you can tell that I got invested with Veri and Ries–Gen 1 is 30 pages long on my blog. Gen 2 is 92 and counting).

Storywise, I stay interested because I love the fluffy romance bits and snappy dialogue as much as the Drama Bombs, and also (spoilers) I’m a sucker for supernatural stuff. So I tailored my legacy to fit that.

But when I don’t want to play sometimes I just go in game, grab a few pictures of them in CAS and redo the character page for the 25th time. And that’s okay too. I just always try to make sure I have something to post, even if it’s a small (even if it’s just Riesling’s face. Because I know that’s what y’all want. It’s cool. I get it).

I seriously rambled a lot, but I hope this helps!! Once you get started, please let me know too! I’m rooting for you, non, and any nons to come after you.

#ask #simblr tips #oh gosh i am genuinely so stoked to answer this haha #Anonymous #I️ need to edit this is the morning it’s 2:30 AM and I need to sleep haha

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droo216 · 7 years

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Hey, sorry, this is kind of a weird question, but you're the only person I can think of to come with this to. I've also been a big time fan of Peter Pan ever since I was a kid, but I'm about to graduate high school this Saturday. So I just wanted to ask - from one Pan fan to another... how did you deal with growing up?

Okay first of all, please accept my apology for this delayed response. I’m so sorry that it has taken me so long to reply, but growing up has been hard, so it’s a major reflection to talk about.

Second of all, congratulations! I hope the end of your time in high school went smoothly and that you’re excited about whatever may come next!

As for your question.

Dang, I’ve started to tear up already and I haven’t even started typing.

I’ve said before that the reader is meant to identify with Wendy’s role in the story - ultimately, she realizes that growing up is important and a natural part of life, and she allows herself to be excited about her potential for her future. But I get where Peter is coming from too. The future is scary. Psychological studies have shown that most people are optimistic about the future - we tend to believe things will get better rather than worse. We think the future holds a better job, a happier home, a full family, and so on. But I think many of us are left with the question: what if it doesn’t get better?

In high school, I was a pretty quiet person. I got straight As, I was a model student. I shown most brightly in choir and definitely in theatre. I went through many different ideas of what I wanted to do - author, actor, elementary teacher, even a dentist at one point. But I was the theatre kid. I loved theatre, I’ve done it consistently since I was seven years old, I’ve done dozens and dozens of shows. It was, in a way, the path of least resistance.

In college, as is often the case, others were lit more brightly than I was. It wasn’t a shock, I expected to receive smaller roles and understudies in my first year, but other freshmen were playing John Proctor and Abigail in The Crucible while I was sitting quietly in the back as Ezekiel Cheever, who has maybe ten lines in the whole show. I got my share of leading roles as my time progressed and I was cast every semester - but I just wasn’t ever the gem of the department. My friends were.

I went to school thirty minutes away from my hometown. It was just far enough to get away while still having that safety net. Around my sophomore year, a friend of mine did the Disney College Program and I started getting it in my head that I wanted to go work at Disney too. I’m sure my closely-guarded secret crush on him was related to this, but I also love Disney and it seemed like a natural step. Again, the path of least resistance. I’ve always had a connection to Florida anyway because I was born here, and I also needed the distance from my hometown that Orlando provided to allow me to - pardon the horrible cliche - “find myself.” Let’s say, I needed to… figure some things out.

I’ve learned the most about myself and life in general in my time down here in Florida. I still have a hard time thinking of myself as an adult. I’ve lived with many different roommates, with both positive and negative results. I’ve taken on a lot more responsibility financially, but my dad still covers my phone bill and we all share my sister’s Netflix account. I now live in a house - a real house! - but we rent it from a guy in the Netherlands and it takes a total of five roommates to cover the rent and we have almost zero furniture in the shared spaces because we all came from apartments where the other people owned the couches and tables and chairs.

There’s a lot of yucky things about growing up. Bills are the worst part. I hate cleaning dishes. I don’t mind putting the laundry in but taking it out and folding and hanging everything is a drag. I made spaghetti for the first time a month ago and my first ever grilled cheese two weeks ago. I always put off vacuuming as long as possible. Maintenance for my car is beyond annoying.

But responsibility means freedom. Growing up ties you down in many ways but it releases you in others. Don’t want to make the bed? You don’t have to. As long as you’re happy with an unmade bed, you’re allowed to do that. (I love having a made bed, which is probably shocking to absolutely no one.) Want to eat ice cream for dinner? You can. It’s not great for you, but sometimes you just need some ice cream and now there’s no one to tell you no. And the sucky parts of growing up often yield positive results. That grilled cheese I made? I NAILED it on the first shot, it turns out I make a FANTASTIC grilled cheese, and now I think I’m a gourmet chef every time I butter up a couple pieces of toast and put some Kraft slices between them. Keeping up with the car is rough, especially because I don’t know a thing about cars - but I have a car. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. I often don’t. But if I wanted to, I could. I probably don’t exercise the freedom that growing up allows as much as I could, honestly.

Growing up is always on my mind. I’m 27. I thought I’d be married by 25 but I am very single with no potential suitor in sight. My dad was my age when I was born. I still text him every time I have a question about student loans or any money thing, really. I feel like I should know all this stuff by now, but every day I learn a little bit more and get a little closer to total responsibility. I hate that I’m this age and can’t afford my own place or even a couch for the place I do have. It’s like the lovely lady says in Finding Neverland about the crocodile’s role in the play. Time is chasing all of us.

The roughest part has been this year. Receiving a Stage III C colon cancer diagnosis at the age of 27 was surreal. When the doctor said the word “cancer,” I had a Hermione Granger response. I was very matter-of-fact, very clinical. When I told a friend that night and said the word “cancer” out loud with my own lips, I broke down in tears. I’m a fully grown man with a job and a house and a beard and I felt like a child inside. I was terrified. I still am. It’s not done, and it’s never going to be. This is something I’ll have to keep checking in on for the rest of my life.

This is a pattern I have begun to notice about being a grown up. Things don’t go away. You fix the car and something else breaks. You empty the dishwasher and fill it right back up. You go to the doctor and find out a diagnosis and now you have to monitor that continuously. You come out to your close friends, you finally come out to your family, you think it’s done, I’m out, I’m free - but you just escape from a tiny cage and found out that that cage was inside another one that is only marginally bigger than the first, and every time you meet someone new, you have to come out again and again and who knows how they’re going to react. I know there’s another Neverland-related simile here but I can’t think of what it is.

I still think grown-up me is someone that exists in the future, not in the present. I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. It’s changing all the time. For now, I have enough battles to get through, the job is the least of my concerns. And when I think about my future, if someone were to ask me what I want in the coming years, the job doesn’t even come to mind. I think about my relationships and what I want those to look like. That’s not the case for everyone, but it’s something important I’ve realized about myself.

Here’s a thought: Peter Pan loves being a child because he thinks it brings him freedom. But Wendy sees how trapped Peter is, physically and mentally and emotionally, and realizes that she must return to the responsibilities that await her in adulthood in order to grow and earn that ability to make your own choices. That’s what growing up is. Making your own choices.

I honestly don’t know if I’ve answered your question. I have to tell you though, you’re not alone in this feeling. I’m probably almost a decade older than you and I feel the same way. Growing up is an awfully big adventure. It’s daunting. But if we don’t keep moving forward, we will trap ourselves even further.

I hope this helps, and I hope you’re doing well. I’d love to hear from you about how you’re feeling as we hit halfway through your first summer post-graduation. If I remember right, it doesn’t entirely feel like everything is changing yet because the first summer just feels like part of the school cycle that you’re used to. Autumn is when it feels like the next stage has begun.

I think that’s all I have to say for now. I poured more of my heart out than I expected to. I’m sending faith and trust your way - I’m sure we both need them right now.

#drew answers #anonymous #about me #long post

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fearsomesheep · 7 years

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Listen I'm late to this and not sure what got asked so feel free to not answer all three for the following three characters lol Lucy: 2, 6, 22 Scott(lol I'm biased): 13, 19, 38 Brad: 35, 37, 43 A character of your choice you don't talk about often: 21 YOU - G

Bro you managed to ask completely different ones for these OCs! :D BUT ALSO THIS IS A LONG ANSWER YOU BUTT, BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT.

2. How easy is it for [Lucy] to laugh?

Super easy. She enjoys being happy and showing other people that they are making her happy so ALL THE JOY AND LAUGHTER. She’s a giggly person. c: ………nowadays. Not so much as a babbu :c

6. Do[es Lucy] consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Definitely Flexible. Laws LITERALLY change all the time, man. Stuff that was legal/illegal when Lucy was born is seen as old fashioned in the present so who knows what insight the future will bring even further down the line? Lu is also really really reeeeeally bad at actually knowing what’s legal and what isn’t because between the two different countries and two different time zones she is so easily lost. And like. There’s laws for stuff that didn’t even EXIST when she was born so the poor girl has no hope with those.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in [Lucy] (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

*EDIT : ANSWERED* herp derp :I

Lucy can be kind of childish when it comes to jealousy. Sure she can be coy sometimes but if she’s actually jealous she’d definitely err on the side of possessive more than aloof. She’ll waaaaay over-do it too. Someone has something better than she does? She must improve her own Things. Someone look better than her? She must improve her looks. Someone doting on a person she likes? SHE’LL BE EVEN MORE DOTING, THAT’LL SHOW ‘EM.

13. What color do[es Scott] think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

Scott looks the best in every colour how dare you. Lolnobutrly Scott probably likes obnoxious colours like bright red the most, but he wears whatever tbh. He looks the best in green/blues though because of his eye and hair colour.

19. What is [Scott’s] favorite number?

THIRTEEN. Lol no. … Damnit I kind of do want it to be 13 because I thought of The Thirteen Ghosts of Scooby Doo and Scott would have watched the heck out of that show. Hmm. I don’t think Scott would have a serious favourite number. It probably changes depending on when you ask him. Is he hungry? Fav. # is 3.14 because Pi. In Germany? NINE. Silly stuff like that!

38. What memory do[es Scott] revisit the most often?

Scott figuratively and literally revisits one particular foster family for the longest time. They were just a really nice family and he grew pretty darn attached to some of his foster siblings, but ended up cutting ties because Scott is a drama queen and when his Adults expressed concern over his constant coming-and-going he just went for good. :I Well, almost for good. Like I said, he sometimes literally visists to see how things are going from afar. They live in Philly so it’s nbd.

35. How do[es Brad] treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Are you excited for the Thing? Are you in Brad’s company? Congratulations Bradley is also equally as excited for the Thing. You may both now fangirl to the max for as long as your heart desires.

37. Do[es Brad] have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Uhhh. He probably should but apparently I’ve not put enough thought into this beyond “Brad has a good brain therefore good rememberings yes”. Honestly his synesthesia probably helps a helluva lot with recall. I’ve mentioned before how certain peices of music will look like certain colours, for example, so he’ll be able to tell something is Motzart because it ‘starts purple’. Patterns seemingly naturally reveal themselves to Brad, so it’s probably like that for everything. So like a phone number is super easy to remember because the numbers make a tune in his head, or a person’s name has a certain flavour. Links everywhere! Links make things easier to remember! EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED

43. If someone asked [Brad] to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

TIM-SEXUAL. Ok no but it depends what point in his life it is… Initially Brad associates with being Asexual, but after Tim rears his stupid sexy face Brad slides across that grey-sexual spectrum to feel more comfortable calling himself Demisexual. I mean, in his brain he’s Tim-sexual 5eva, but that’s not a recognised sexuality and also Brad wouldn’t say that outloud to people so he’d explain himself as demisexual for sure.

21. Why do they get up in the morning?

ANSWERING THIS FOR PAIGE :D

Legit. she gets up in the morning because she has 234892734 animals to look after so if it’s not a dog licking her face it’s a cat biting her fingers or a parrot squarking her awake. She needs to see to them so she’ll wake up on her own anyway, but yeah. She loves being able to look after the critters c:

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Lightning Round!

Lucy: Her maaaajor neediness for attention/stimulation. Gurl just plain wears me out sometimes.

Scott: His utter selfishness. I like writing him as an asshole, but I’d be so annoyed if I knew him in real life. xD

Brad: Being a literal Know-It-All? (Especially since I’m NOT and have to figure out how to sound like a supergenius when writing him. >:I Boi.)

Paige: She can be quite the self-depreciating wall-flower when she wants to be and that makes me a Sad :c

#OC meme #oc questions #ask #writetimetodraw #Lucy Eleanor Tayor #Illusion #Scott Swift #Hopper #Brad Cooper #Paige Palmer #Divina #SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG #But it really got me thinking #thanks for the brain food babe :D

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inktae · 7 years

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Ok I want to apologize for this rant, but I haven't told anyone much about this really I want to get it off my chest so yea... well I should start off with hello! I'm not dead (yet)! School started and omg I actually realized how much I do in a week of school gosh :p anyway so we changed seats in math class and I thought I would finally get a decent seat away from the 3 guys that r absolutely annoying but NOOO the computer just had to keep me at the same table with one of guys and (1/?)

Another dude Idk anything about and I think someone else sits with us but goddamn I literally banged my head on the table… today in pe we did yoga and I’ve been feeling tired the whole day. Also, my story…ahh I’m so frustrated with it. I thought it would work out better than it has but it didn’t and now I have to change a big chunk of the story I had originally planned to write bc it’s just too confusing even for me. I’m so stressed over it since it’s weird to say I guess but I kinda (2/?)

Hold the story close to my heart bc it’s gone so far and I don’t want to mess up. I want to work on it and fix it and be able to publish it to tumblr but then school comes in the way and I ALWAY put school work as priority and I feel bad for my story since I’ve been neglecting it. Is that weird to say? I’m not sure but the book I’m reading currently has i Fuentes me that way I guess. The book has books whispering stuff to this boy and it’s so weird but so interesting. Off topic but (3/?)

Whatever. Do u ever feel like sorry for ur stories that you’ve neglected. Like I’m sorry but I have things to do I’ll finish writing u later but then u never do… urge it just makes me fidget thinking about it. I got 2 new story ideas: a bartender idea about a bartender telling all the drama, stories, etc. that they’ve heard and stuff and also a Cupid idea that god accidentally dropped Cupid and she broke her wings so now she’s stuck on earth until she can fix them. I’m sorry for this (4/?)

Strange rant/thingy ＿|￣|○ but tbh, Mari, ure like someone I feel like I can talk about anything with u. Thank u, much love╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ I hope for a lot of luck for ur future writing and personal stuff💞 - tatertot anon (5/5)

dw I know what you mean!! i think that’s a downside from outlining - you plots get so big, and if you’re not careful it can snowball and then you don’t even know where it starts and where it ends ahaha. that is why I always re-read my outline as much as I can before adding something new, so I can be careful of plot holes and anything that might seem confusing.

and yeah, I have my original story on hold because I can’t handle everything right now, and it’s very special to me as well. but remember that they will always be there and that you can pick them up sooner or later, they won’t go away c: you are only abandoning them temporarily after all. and it’s good that you’re focusing on school first! but remember that everything needs a balance, and you can always plan out your free time so you give more time to writing.

OMG, I would love to see that cupid AU!! It is super original and I don’t think I’ve seen it around. I am currently outlining a heartbreaking story for jungkook and even though it’s like 5 lines so far, I literally had to hold back my tears while typing. It is probably just me though - for some reason this plot hits me deep even though it’s nothing personal ahaha. but I am excited about writing it, hopefully it will come out deeply emotional thanks to my mood. :)

it’s okay, you can always rant here!! it makes me happy that you want to confide in me \o/ rlly, take it easy and don’t stress about your stalled stories, they are still yours and you’ll write them one day :))

#messages #Anonymous

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