#but from a personal point of view he was simply someone riddled with grief | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honey-milk-depresso · 3 years

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reader that was in squid game x twisted wonderland dorm leaders please?

*pink soldier theme intensifies*

AYEEEEEE ANON- GUESS WHO CRIED IN THE SECOND FINAL GAME- OH MY GOD- HOW DARE THEY STABBED SAE BYEOK LIKE THAT FCK HIM-

(Also I made fanart for TWST x Squid Game here and a very short comic of Adeuce Angst revolving around Squid Game here-)

*ahem* Okay, getting too emotional ;-;;;

But to put ourselves into the shoes of a winner in Squid Game, is that you're traumatised forever. Seeing countless of people die, you cling on to dear life everyday while "playing" the twisted and life threatening games of the facility.

You've seen the few of your closest friends die, and at one point of time, one had die within your hand all because of a simple game with marbles. You've become numb to the dangers of life, you have lost interest in wealth, and you've learn to treasure those you love, yet somehow to remain deeply sceptical of everyone.

Your hate for the rich had risen to such degree, ever since you've found out they had watched you like puppets playing in a theatre, merely dolls for their entertainment. Not a heartbeat for a single soul, only cringing when they died as they had bet on them.

Sometimes you look back, to the 455 contestants that have died, you stand alone alive with the prize, yet the blood of all of them stain your hands in the vision of your eyes. The guilt washes over you. Even in another world...

TWST Dorm Leaders with the Squid Game Winner s/o

(sorry there's no Malleus, Idia, Vil and Kalim because I got lazy ;-;;;;-)

***Tw: Some mentions of suicide but vague.

Riddle Rosehearts

He’s one to notice your harsh and cold attitude towards others and himself, but since you’ve never really broken any rules before his overblot, he didn’t really care much at first,

perhaps only irritated by your attitude towards everyone, but left you be.

What unsettled him is your calmness in every overblot, how you didn’t seem afraid to die, even with no magic, you brought yourself to take it down with the help of Grim, your friends and your camera.

You put yourself in the line of those powerful overblots, without a single regard of your life.

As his s/o, Riddle is worried for you. Are you…. suicidal? Or do you not care about your own life. He treasures you a lot, and it would break him if you one day just…. fade from him.

Riddle made his way to Ramshackle, to find you lying on your couch. Then he heard a sniffle, that broke into a quiet sob.

He panicked, gently shaking you awake. “S/o? S/o! S/o what happened?!” You were startled wide awake, taking in a moment to see Riddle by your side, big grey eyes laced with worry.

You… we’re shocked, to be shaken awake from a traumatic past of events quite saved you. You looked into Riddle’s eyes with great grief. “I miss them..” “Miss who?”

You explained, having a close friend of yours who participated in this.. “Squid Game”, and while simply playing an innocent game of marbles, your friend had let you betray them in order for you to win, which killed them upon elimination.

Riddle was stunned, shocked. Something so cruel to happen to someone he adores. This was truly…. His train of thoughts snapped when he sees you tearing up again. Without knowing what to say, he took your hands, his eyes wanting to say something to comfort you, but he lost all words to say. This was his first time even hearing about someone going through something like that.

His warm, grey eyes, however, was enough to tell you he’s here for you. <3

Leona Kingscholar

Leona simply didn’t care about your attitude at first.

He just took it as you being you; cold and harsh, no nonsense type of person. So long as you don’t wake him up, he was fine with you, and just didn’t care.

But of course, when you’re Leona’s s/o, things seemed to be viewed differently by him when he sees you.

Before, he lightly observed the fact you hated how spoilt he was during his overblot, and hated it even more when you heard he was of royal and wealthy status.

But with Azul, you hated him even more. You hated Azul for exploiting all those students who were desperate for help and turn against them, even he didn’t hate him THAT much for it. It just triggered the same thing you felt while “playing” that wretched game.

Leona notices all this, and, well, decided to blatantly ask you about it as if this was an everyday topic to bring about.

You we’re pissed, not at Leona, but the question he asked which triggered the horrible events of when you and your other friends in debt participated in “Squid Game”. Those millionaires watching all the contestants struggle or die in each game as if they were puppets on play, all for their amusement in the game that risked human lives.

Leona could only stare in shock about your explanation, someone like you, have faced such…. disgusting circumstance. Now he understand why your hatred for Azul is so deeply rooted, because you dealt with it in possibly the worse way possible.

Leona doesnt really know what to say, except to wrap one arm around you and pull you in towards his torso. “I’m here now, it doesn’t matter.”

You knew he meant it with deeper and genuine intentions for you. <3

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul was quite intimidated by your cold and cynical attitude towards others, including himself. You seemed to be a lot more angrier with him though, a particular PASSIONATE anger towards him during his overblot events.

Of course, as time went by, you two have come to accept each other, and eventually come to like one another, thus you being his s/o.

But you’ve always hated when he bribes someone to do a contract, even if it was a tease, which was most of the time, in fact, you hated when Leona comes by to flaunt his attitude and sometimes his wealth at others,

he notices it made you considerably pissed. Very pissed.

Azul decided to take a gentler approach in asking what happened, and why are you so irritated by such to help you.

At least, he thought he can.

As he replayed how he wanted to ask you, he was met by your sleeping form back in Ramshackle, quiet on the couch. At first, he wanted to leave, he doesn’t want to disturb you after all.

But then he hears the soft whimpering coming from you, which has broke into a silent sob. Like Riddle, he panicked, and tried to shake you awake. The tiny beads of tears dispersed away from your eyelids, eyelashes letting them flutter away from your face as you looked at Azul woth red puffy eyes. You had a nightmare, a nightmare of the same dream where you had killed your friend, and you gushed it all out at Azul.

Your sadness had turned to anger when you stated the cause of your friend’s death. That game. That stupid “Squid Game”. Where the rich and wealthy watch people die for their entertainment. You hated every moment of it.

Azul just sat there, he felt like throwing up. Dying brutally, getting burnt in boxes when eliminated? Your friend getting killed, and they had their head…..

He didn’t think such horrible things would happen to you, truly horrible and disgusting things.

Azul had no idea what to say, he was too stunned and at a lost for words. All he did was take your two hands and gently rubbed them in soothing, circular motions. “I.. I‘m truly sorry about what life had done to you back in your world. Please, please know that I’m with you here always in another.” <3

Reblogs help! ^^

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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Dick has said it out loud explicitly, to Damian, that the mantle of Robin was his to pass on. Why do people still feel entitled to talk over him?

IMO? For the exact same reasons that people harp on so much about it being a retcon that Robin was Dick’s mother’s nickname for him and that originally he based the name on Robin Hood. To be perfectly honest that doesn’t make a damn bit of difference in regards to the fact that either way the point is still that Dick created Robin and it wouldn’t exist without him.....but the constant attempts to minimize its emotional significance to Dick and any kind of special attachment to it that he has and that the others can’t claim to share....

IMO these are just attempts to distance Dick from the mantle and make him seem less relevant or important to its very existence....freeing up people to focus on the importance of Robin as a symbol and a mantle to everyone else but without having to attribute any special credit or significance or respect to Dick as the originator of the mantle and the character that the other Robins are literally the legacy characters of.

It’s pretty annoying and very shortsighted IMO as actually, emphasizing the connection Robin has to Dick’s first family just enhances the weight and poignancy of Dick ultimately giving each of the other Robins his blessing when he didn’t have to and thus literally choosing them as his new family even without having to rely solely on a connection to each other via Bruce.

Of course people don’t seem to really want to do that either....given how rarely Dick’s blessing even gets acknowledged amid all the angst about who replaced who and who was fired and who wasn’t. It’s kinda ironic...I know so many fans HATE the version where Bruce fires Dick and so whatever they can not to acknowledge it and dismiss it as a retcon....and the ironic thing is? I get it. I totally see why it’s not something they want to run with and to be quite honest I can take it or leave it myself. I like exploring versions of events where Dick was fired, I like exploring ones where he wasn’t. Both have room for digging and delving imo.

My only beef with people who are soooo loud and quick to always dismiss the firing as just a retcon that doesn’t count.....is that in the pre Crisis version of events where Dick voluntarily gave up Robin and decided it was time to move onto a new identity....he gave Robin to Jason himself. The significance of that version of events isn’t JUST that it was Dick’s own choice to move to a new identity and that there was no conflict between him and Bruce about it...it was equally of significance that the Robin mantle was still viewed as inherently his, made by him, and his and his alone to pass on to a successor.

There is no version where Dick gave it up voluntarily but had no role in choosing Jason. The very premise of that mix and match honestly makes no sense because why make such a fuss about Bruce not having overstepped and fired Dick when it was never his place to say what he could claim as his identity or mantle on his OWN (fire him as his partner, sure that was always Bruce’s right, but tell Dick he couldn’t be the hero persona he created for himself? Fuck off Bruce LOL).

But my point is that mix and match makes no real sense because why preserve Bruce’s character from stepping between Dick and the mantle he created to honor his first parents....only to then turn right around and have Bruce still treat it as a Wayne family hand me down that Dick had outgrown when it was only EVER a Grayson family hand me down whose only connection to the Wayne family was through Dick being a member of both families and a bridge connecting them?

Whether Bruce fires Dick as Robin and gives it to Jason or JUST gives it to Jason without Dick making that choice....the one isn’t any better than the other because in both cases the actual offense is still the same: it was never Bruce’s to do ANYTHING with other than what Dick wanted done with it. Take on a new partner? Sure. But give him the mantle made of Dick’s work, Dick’s past, Dick’s every action as Robin? Nope.

So really the mix and match only serves one real purpose, for anyone who is intent on dismissing the firing as just a retcon but sees no need to uphold Dick choosing to give Robin to Jason instead of Bruce doing that...when Bruce doing that is literally part of the exact same retcon they’re so intent on discarding!

The only real purpose that mix and match serves is to keep Bruce centered in the Robin succession with his choice to give it to Jason being the basis of Jason associating Robin with Bruce. It keeps Bruce as the person Jason thinks of and feels connected to every time he thinks of why he’s Robin at all....because Bruce is the one who gave him the symbol that was already well known and full of meaning when Jason stepped into those shoes.

And then of course at the same time the mix and match also ‘lessens’ Bruce’s offense to Dick in taking Robin against his wishes WHILE also suggesting that Dick has less basis of feeling resentful of Bruce passing it on to someone else without his say so because it’s not like he was using it anymore right? And that was his own choice right?

But so what if it was? That doesn’t make it any less his creation and his legacy. It doesn’t make it any less a Grayson family connection and somehow more a Bruce Wayne family connection.

And that’s my beef. That’s the big irony of how flat out counter intuitive the mix and match retcon thing is and always has been. It only accomplishes half its objective....keeps the later Robins more connected to Bruce via it than they are to Dick via it....because it ultimately still runs through Bruce. But it fails to accomplish its secondary objective simply because refusing to acknowledge that Robin is intrinsically tied to Dick Grayson and not Bruce Wayne like....doesn’t actually make it any less true.

And that’s why imo the question should never have been “does your fic go with the version where Dick gives up Robin or the retcon where Bruce fires Dick” ...no, the right question in my mind should have always been “does your fic go with the version where Dick gives Robin to Jason or the retcon where Bruce gives it to Jason.”

And here’s the sticking point:

People always point to Bruce and Dick’s initial connection as the basis of their entire Dynamic Duo partnership. They understood each otrher via their parallel experiences losing their parents to murder. Bruce saw himself in a young Dick Grayson and he wanted to help Dick figure out a way forward to life after his parents’ death by drawing upon his own experiences.

But at the same time, they aren’t the same. Even with Bruce guiding Dick forward through his trauma and grief by following a map made of his own prior experiences, the end result was not the same for both....but it still used some of the same road marks on their respective journeys.

And this is why the Dynamic Duo were always emphasized as partners, as complementing each other, balancing each other....things they could only do because they were not the same and even using similar coping mechanisms to deal with their PARALLEL tragedies....produced entirely different results.

Both used their tragedies, their traumas, their PAIN to fuel their pursuit of justice and desire to help protect people. Both built new personas for themselves to use in their shared missions here....personas which embodied what they wanted to accomplish in these guises while at the same time reminding them why they were doing this.

But the personas they created ended up looking very different despite being born of similar crucibles...because they prioritized different things....and because they were honoring different people.

No matter how much Bruce and Dick have in common due to circumstances they are very different people who are both products of the families and places they come from....and thus even when using similar PROCESSES to build something out of their parallel tragedies, what emerged from the fires once they were done creating from their traumas.....don’t look the same. Aren’t interchangeable.

And neither are their creators.

Bottom line, it in my opinion flat out does not work to attribute more connection to Robin and the succession of that mantle to Bruce than Dick.....because Bruce would never, COULD never create that specific mantle out of his grief and pain any more than Dick ever would or could have created Batman out of his. Because they are too different. They needed different things out of their journeys forward, they were commemorating having had different journeys behind them, they were walking a shared path side by side but you can’t switch the clothes they made to wear going forward anymore than you can switch their footprints beneath their feet....they don’t fit into what the other made because it wasn’t made BY them and it wasn’t made FOR them.

So riddle me this, Batfandom: how does it make sense to focus on their parallel tragedies and how they moved forward from those in similar ways and on a shared trajectory, emphasizing how this is the entire basis of the Batman and Robin partnership from its very inception.....

Only to then view the role Bruce’s grief, his loss, his pain played in birthing the Batman mantle as something sacrosanct, undeniable....these things go hand in hand, there’s no separating them even when others end up wearing the Batman mantle as well, even through multiple generations....

But at the EXACT SAME TIME....treating Dick’s grief, HIS loss, HIS pain and the role all THAT played in birthing the Robin mantle....as something that barely comes up as a footnote the second you put the costume on anyone other than Dick? Something the others never even feel inclined to THINK about when reflecting on the mantle they’re wearing and where it came from and why it exists?

Why is the one rated as so less significant than the other....if the entire point of Batman and Robin is that both heroes were born from the ashes of tragedies so similar they understood each other in ways most other mentors and sidekicks never came close to?

How’s that work exactly?

Look, you’ll never catch me arguing that Bruce isn’t and shouldn’t be central to the Batman mantle, mythos, succession, etc. And I loved Dick as Batman too. But it ultimately should always come back to Bruce no matter how many people add to it in their own ways. Because it’s not just about what Bruce made.....it’s why he made it that matters too. The act of creating Batman is as important to the story of Batman as the created Batman.

And those very same reasons are precisely why Bruce shouldn’t be regarded as central to the ROBIN mantle, succession, etc.

To dismiss the Graysons as not being definitive to the greater Robin mythos is to say Thomas and Martha Wayne bear no special significance to the Batman mythos.

I love that being Robin connects these siblings and ties them all together as part of the same family. I love it being a shared family tradition that encompasses all of them and marks this family of choice as having been specifically chosen by not just it’s patriarch but each other.

But it’s not Bruce’s family tradition and it’s not a Wayne or even a Batman hand me down.

Because it doesn’t even come from Bruce’s family.

It comes from Dick’s. He brought it with him. It’s what connects him to what came before life with Bruce because as everyone knows but so many people often forget to give MEANING....

Dick Grayson, for as much as he is Batman’s son and is undeniably Bruce’s family, had a life of his own before he ever met Bruce.

He didn’t begin with Bruce Wayne. He didn’t come from Bruce Wayne.

And neither did Robin.

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kstewdeux · 3 years

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Five Stages of Grief

Struggling to breathe, Inuyasha clutched Kagome’s battered body tightly against his chest - one hand pressing against the wound on her back while the other pressed her ever colder hand against his heart. This was his fault. Completely his fault. That attack had been thrown and he ducked without taking into account the miko’s position. By the time he realized where she was, there was no time to take the hit for her and...and...

“You’re okay” Inuyasha choked as tears streamed down his cheeks and he buried his face in Kagome’s blood soaked hair, “You’ll be fine. It’s just...it’s just a flesh wound. Nothing deep. Just...just stay with me, huh?”

A whine escaped him as the scent of death began creeping into her scent. With trembling hands, he had tended to her wounds as best as he could but it wasn’t enough. At a certain point, he could barely feel his own fingers and every clumsy attempt to stitch up the numerous wounds wound up hurting her more. It wasn’t like this was his first time tending an injury that way. He’d done it thousands of times on himself with even cruder implements than what his miko carried with her from the future but his hands wouldn’t cooperate just like everything else in his body. Amber eyes - usually able to see every blade of grass - could barely see what they were doing. His lungs were barely taking in air and it took everything he had left in him not to simply pass out.

So he stopped trying since all he was doing was making her worse. Oh, he applied bandages and ointments and forced her to swallow those fever pills but she was bleeding out before his very eyes. There was nothing he could do for her. He had failed her in every possible way and now all he could do was pray.

To add insult to injury, the smell of graveyard soil had been steadily growing stronger over the last agonizing hour. Kikyo knew. She knew Kagome was dying.

“You can’t have her,” Inuyasha spat hatefully as the last person he wanted to see came into view, “She’s going to be fine. You’ll see. So...so you can’t take her soul. I won’t...I won’t let you.”

Closing his eyes, Inuyasha tried to find the will to stand and fight but it simply wouldn’t come. With Kagome slipping through his fingers so too did his own desire to live to see another day. He didn’t want to go back to a world without his miko in it. He simply wouldn’t survive.

Squeezing Kagome’s hand as tightly as he dared, Inuyasha tried to muster up more strength from the simple touch to no avail. So he restorted to desperately clutching her to him with both hands like he could hold in her soul through that action alone. The motion aggravated her wounds but with as far gone as his miko was in that moment, she didn’t even react and that sent his panic to all new heights.

“How was she hurt?” came Kikyo’s softly spoken reply and Inuyasha shook his head - burying his nose into ebony locks as his own heart struggled to beat. The scent of Kagome’s impending death was suffocating.

“Inuyasha look at me,” the undead miko commanded in a gentler tone than he’d heard in quite some time. When he merely whined and more tears fell, Kikyo tried to cross the distance between them but stopped at the menacing growl he used to warn her.

“You can’t have her,” Inuyasha managed shakily as he clutched Kagome tighter still. Like the action itself would keep the soul inside its vessel, “She’s mine. She’s mine and I promised...I promised to protect her.”

His voice cracked on that last word and the undead miko felt her unbeating heart crack at the sound.

“She needs new bandages,” Kikyo sighed, “And you’re in no state to...”

“Don’t touch her!” Inuyasha barked as yet more tears fell - one clawed hand blindly swiping to maintain distance through intimidation, “Stay...stay back. I’m warning you!”

Kikyo took another step and Inuyasha’s face contorted in pure unbridled rage.

“Take one step closer and I’ll destroy you,” the hanyou snarled between clenched teeth as his eyes flashed red, “I said you can’t have her bitch so back the fuck up!”

Kikyo let out another sigh before glancing at her soul collectors who nodded subtly and began gliding towards the grieving half-demon who watched with somewhat panic stricken eyes as they moved closer.

“Get those things away from me!” Inuyasha snapped desperately as he tried to get to his feet but any strength he had had long since fled his body, “What...what about you can’t have her did you not understand?!”

“Inuyasha I’m not going to...”

It was becoming terrifyingly obvious that something was wrong with him. Despite his best efforts, his body wouldn’t cooperate and every attempt to scramble to his feet and run resulted in his crumpling to the ground. His worthless ass couldn’t protect her.

He already failed but....

“If...if you need to take someone take me,” Inuyasha bargained desperately as one soul collector gently wrapped around his elbow and his body suddenly wasn’t his own. His grip weakened and he watched with heartbroken eyes as another soul collector wrenched Kagome from his arms, “I’ll go with you. I swear I’ll go with you. You can kill me or...or do whatever. I don’t care. Just...just don’t...”

A soft cry escaped him as Kikyo knelt down beside the one person who made his life worth living and gently rested one hand on Kagome’s stomach.

“Kikyo please....please don’t hurt her,” Inuyasha begged miserably as the soul collector immobilizing him pinned both arms behind his back. Kikyo was going to make him watch?! Didn’t she see he was already broken enough already? Why...why destroy him completely? What would be the point?! Did she really hate him that much? He...he’d never done anything to her. Defended her even at the expense of his own happiness. Even though it killed him inside. Every time he returned he had to face the betrayal in Kagome’s eyes which was more painful than any injury he’d received. Ruined every chance he had to be loved for the sake of someone who wanted nothing more than to make him suffer. Hadn’t he done enough? Sacrificed enough?

Inuyasha closed his eyes and willed his heart to give out. He couldn’t watch this. Another tear slipped free.

“These wounds are deep,” he heard Kikyo hum in a worried voice, “The stitches are too loose. Do you have more thread?”

Letting out a shaky breath, watery amber eyes slowly opened to find Kikyo looking at him expectantly.

“I’m not going to hurt her. I want to help,” Kikyo informed him in a slightly chiding tone before adding quickly, “Kagome is essential to defeating Naraku.”

Exhaling slowly, Inuyasha bit back tears as he tried to find his voice but failed. Kikyo gave him a strangely sympathetic look before glancing at the yellow monstrosity Kagome called a backpack and nodding to one of her soul collectors who clumsily tugged it closer.

Inuyasha felt his soul curl up and die as Kikyo began rummaging through the bag. This was a trick. Make him think she was there to help and then do something awful when his guard was down. There would be no holding Kagome one last time. No ability to say goodbye. She’d leave this world never knowing....never knowing how much he loved her. Swallowing thickly, Inuyasha tried to find the courage to say what needed to say before it was too late but his fear that Kikyo would make Kagome’s death more painful stilled his tongue. Two more tears trailed down his cheeks as he tried to remember how to breathe. Kagome had made him believe, if only for a little while, that he could be something more. That he had worth in his ability to protect and care for others but everyone was right about him. He had failed the one person in the world who thought differently of him from the very start. He was every bit the worthless half-breed everyone had always told him he was. Maybe he should’ve been drowned at birth.

It didn’t even register with him that Kikyo was, in fact, helping. Years of sewn distrust blinded him to the possibility that things were not as dire as they appeared. Whether Kikyo was helping or not, though, the scent of death lingered.

Letting out a shuddering breath, Inuyasha tried to struggle against the invisible bonds as his hardwired instinct to protect Kagome finally kicked in. It had shriveled up and died for a brief moment out of a belief that it was too late to do anything but now that the world has shown him once and for all things could always be worse, the instinct came back full force.

“Stop moving so much,” Kikyo sighed as she continued stitching the unconscious miko’s wounds, “You’ll aggravate your wounds.”

Inuyasha, of course, didn’t even know he was injured so that comment went right over his head. It hadn’t even registered that he also had been the victim of a direct hit that had shredded his fire rat robes and that half the blood that drenched Kagome was his own. Inuyasha honestly placed absolutely no value on his own life and the undead miko sighed sadly at that realization as she finished her task before reaching for the bottle labeled disinfectant. Which by the smell of it would probably hurt quite a good bit once applied.

Kikyo flicked her gaze up at the utterly heartbroken and obviously struggling boy watching with agony riddled eyes for just a moment before deciding she could multi-task.

“Inuyasha fear not. I have no intention of letting her die,” the undead miko began softly before looking at the spray bottle with a confused, appraising eye, “You must calm yourself.”

Again, Kikyo underestimated how very far gone Inuyasha was in that moment. His mind filled with panic induced static that was only growing thicker by the moment. Inuyasha was incapable of hearing anything outside of his own heart pounding in his normally sensitive ears. Breathing had gone completely by the wayside for more reasons than one and kiss goodbye his sense of smell with how congested his nose had become. The slow trickle of blood leaking out of the corner of his mouth was flowing completely unnoticed as his vision blurred and his head lolled. The effort he was expending tried to break free was dimming and his body was refusing to cooperate.

“Set him down,” Kikyo ordered softly as she spritzed the sanitizer a few times and hummed in understanding, “But be careful. Don’t aggravate his wounds.”

Inuyasha felt his body being laid out as he continued watching Kikyo do whatever the hell she was doing. Kagome was so close. If he could move, he could almost reach out and touch her. The undead miko glanced up then followed his gaze with a sad little smile before reaching over, grasping his hand and pulling it a hair away from Kagome’s wrist. Taking the miko’s wrist then Kikyo placed it atop his palm before helping curl his fingers around the thin flesh so his thumb lay just over her vein.

“Can you feel her heartbeat?” Kikyo asked softly as Inuyasha looked up at her with unfocused amber eyes before those same eyes lowered to where his hand was curled around Kagome’s wrist. For a moment he didn’t react at all before a shuddering sigh of relief gave her the answer he couldn’t give out loud. The steady thrum under his fingertips brought him comfort that couldn’t be voiced with words. At least he’d be with her at the end. Small comfort though that was. Maybe he’d be lucky enough to die soon so they’d be born together in the next life. That would be alright. To find out that soul and him really did have a destiny. Just wrong time and place this go ‘round. Vision blurring Inuyasha closed his eyes and focused on Kagome’s weakening pulse.

“It’s okay ‘Gome,” Inuyasha mumbled tiredly as another tear snaked down his dirtied cheek, “Its okay...”

It had to be several hours later that Inuyasha slowly regained consciousness even though his eyes stubbornly refused to cooperate. He was cocooned in something warm and soft. There was a pleasant pressure running along the front of his body too that one arm seemed to be keeping in place. Kagome was nearby, though, which meant he was being protected and cared for. And...and...

Oh no. Ooooh no. Nope. Not good. Definitely bad.

With a painful sounding groan, Inuysha finally forced his eyes open and nearly died on the spot. A short distance away a calm, indifferent looking Kikyo sat petting her soul collector while her two weird child minions maintained a barrier that surrounded him. As for the pressure against his front, one glance down told him that it was a pajama clad Kagome spooned up against his bare chest while the warmth came from the sleeping bag they’d both been stuffed into.

The rest of that day crashed down onto him moments later.

“Shit,” Inuysha breathed as he suddenly buried his nose into Kagome’s hair and inhaled deeply before whining in relief when the scent of death couldn’t be found. A tear welled in the corner of his eye as he squeezed the miko to him as tightly as he dared. He could smell the somewhat fresh blood from her stomach wound even now and...and his own dried blood? Had he been hurt too? He hadn’t noticed...

“Once you were both stabilized, I had my soul collectors arrange you this way,” Kikyo explained impassively as she glanced over at him, “It seemed the logical thing to do.”

Inuyasha set his jaw - nose remaining in Kagome’s hair as amber eyes watched the undead miko wearily. Had Kikyo been trying to help him? That seemed so absurd he didn’t even know where to start.

For some reason, this was the moment he suddenly remembered that Kagome hadn’t been wearing pajamas. And it would appear his undergarments were gone. His eyes widened in horror for a moment before he pushed that thought as far back in his mind as it would go. W-who cared it Kikyo saw them both naked? That didn’t bother him. Nope. Didn’t bother him at all. It was...

This was fine. Fine. An absolutely fantastic turn of events that wouldn’t keep him awake at night due to the crushing awkwardness. The only solace he could find was that Kikyo may have done a mortifying thing but it was done in the course of a not shitty thing so...

The fact that she had done such a thing when both he and Kagome were unconscious did seem to be the thing that convinced him Kikyo didn’t actually mean them harm. She’d had ample opportunity to kill them. They’d both been so far gone the jostling that must have occurred didn’t even wake them.

That didn’t help the blush on his cheeks or the mortification he felt - although the utter relief he felt that Kagome was alive muted both negative emotions considerably.

“Why help her?” Inuyasha asked suspiciously as his hand slid up to pull Kagome’s torso more fully against him.

“Kagome is essential to defeating Naraku,” Kikyo explained before smiling faintly and running one hand across a nearby silver serpent, “And if something were to happen to her, someone I know would be very sad.”

“What?”

Kikyo subtly nodded to herself as she realized that statement went completely over his head. Of course he wouldn’t understand the significance of her repeating back those words Kagome had said to her. Her reincarnation sheltered him from the ugliness of the world and if he had known that he almost lost both of them....

It made all the sense in the world to keep what happened that day a secret. Inuyasha had always been an anxious creature and at that time, he was endlessly torn. Kikyo wasn’t a stupid woman. She knew Kagome hadn’t admitted what should have been obvious. That day that seemed so long ago, it had been Kikyo’s intention to kill the competition and yet her reincarnation refused to say as much. This strange girl made it her job to protect Inuyasha from threats real or imagined. To shelter him from ugly truths he was ill equipped to handle like how the woman he still adored was now a being of evil. Kagome loved him for the good man he was and made it her mission in life to convince him to love himself. A strange girl made for an equally strange boy.

“When I was dying, Kagome risked her life to save mine. On more than one occasion,” Kikyo interrupted vaguely as she looked up into the starry sky, “It seemed only right to repay the favor.”

Inuyasha considered this before relaxing somewhat and rearranging to rest his cheek on Kagome’s hair with his eyes partially closed. It was still insanely hard to focus and his head felt ridiculously heavy for no reason. Still, Kagome was alright and that’s really what mattered.

“I love her you know so...so thank you I guess,” Inuyasha mumbled cautiously as he inhaled deeply and relished in the knowledge that Kagome would live.

“I believe that has been made abundantly clear,” Kikyo admitted with a humorless laugh.

Inuyasha snorted softly but didn’t bother arguing. Whether or not Kagome loved him in return was a question he’d prefer to explore with literally anyone else. Hell, he’d even ask Naraku for his thoughts on the matter before he’d ever try to talk about that remote possibility with Kikyo.

“Thank you,” Inuyasha mumbled after a long period of awkward silence, “For saving her. I...I don’t know what I would’ve done if...if...”

The half-demon couldn’t even finish that statement as visions of him permanently turning into a full demon and wreaking havoc across the land entered his minds eye. In his heart of hearts, he knew what he would’ve done. He would’ve gone insane. Just would’ve lost his damn mind and ran around killing people for no...

“It was the least I could do,” Kikyo sighed as she glanced over at the injured pair, “I will protect you until dawn and then I must leave. I believe you will have healed enough by then to take Kagome to a second location.”

Inuyasha nodded against Kagome’s hair as he gave the living, breathing, not dying miko as light squeeze. Of all the things that had ever happened to him, not one had been as terrifying as that morning. He needed to be more careful in the future. Be more aware during battle. Or, alternatively, he could just throw Kagome down the well and destroy it so this would never happen again. That was definitely an attractive option.

“I know you are a man of few words,” Kikyo offered barely above a whisper, “But perhaps it is time you told her. I have no intention of dragging you away from her. You have done enough.”

Inuyasha wrinkled his nose at that comment but otherwise stayed silent and nodded. Truth be told, holding Kagome against him was rather nice even if his undead typically murderous ex-fiancé was watching. If he didn’t just say screw it and throw Kagome down the well, he might insist they do this more often. If, of course, Kagome woke up and discovered he was holding her. What he’d do if he managed to pull this off without her knowing was an issue for a different day.

“I love you,” Inuyasha whispered in Kagome’s ear as he settled into a somewhat more comfortable position and nuzzled the skin just above her jaw. The warmth and contentment flowing through his veins soon rocked him to sleep and for the first time in his life, Inuysha slept well.

Kikyo watched on with a melancholy sigh as Inuyasha subconsciously snuggled up against his miko in his sleep.Yes, she was a creature born of evil. Yes, she had made many, many mistakes since she’d been so rudely brought back to life. And yes, her feelings toward the injured half-demon consisted of a mixture of love and hate. But something about his scream this night had triggered something she didn’t know she still possessed. A part of herself all but forgotten. She’d literally flown most of the distance toward him and walked the rest. Cautiously, of course. There most certainly a risk he would strike her down and honestly, she wouldn’t blame him.

When she opened her eyes that fateful day, she’d been in denial over so many things. Mind bucking against his insistence that he had nothing to do with her demise. That she had been cursed into this half-life consisting of little more than pain and misery.

Naturally what followed was unbridled rage at the world. Of course, everyone with eyes knew where that path had led her.

After the anger had subsided, more or less, she’d began to plead with any god who would listen. Obsessed with the desire to return to the ground from whence she came, defeating Naraku became her number one priority. She promised to kill the wicked Onigumo - not out a warped sense of duty but rather because she hoped and prayed that by doing so, she would be freed from this hell. Maybe even gain the affection she once had and even be accepted by the people who once loved her. Inuyasha was a lost cause by that point but Kaede...

Kaede may forgive her yet.

It was the realization that it would be impossible to defeat Naraku on her own and thus not win any favors from the powers that be or forgiveness from her sister that brought her crashing back down to earth. Numb to the world around her, she no longer cared what happened to her or anyone else. No longer cared whether Naraku won or lost. Yes, she still wanted to be the one who killed that horrid beast but...but she knew...she knew that she would not be there to witness her former love’s victory of defeat. There would be no redemption for her. There was no point even trying to do more than just wander aimlessly and help on occasion if she was in the mood to do so. By and large, however, she didn’t do anything productive any longer.

That was, until today. Something about Inuyasha’s anguished cry made something in her snap. It was the sound of a heart breaking with such devastating force that the world itself stood still. Never, never should he be allowed to make such a sound. Bygones being bygones, Kikyo was determined to stop whatever was the source of his pain. It was unacceptable in her mind for whatever reason.

And with this action, she accepted that this was her fate. Such a bizarre thing to realize at the end of an era. There was no one still living who loved her any longer.

She was truly alone.

“Kikyo,” Inuyasha muttered in a concerned tone as his amber eyes blinked open, “I didn’t know you could cry anymore. What’s wrong?”

Or maybe not.

“You must be imagining things,” Kikyo lied smoothly as she stared into the distance, “Such a thing is impossible.”

“Yeah okay,” Inuyasha snorted softly as he settled back down. A few moments passed before he cleared his throat and offered something he hoped brought the undead miko some peace, “Kaede’s been asking about you.”

Kikyo subtly furrowed her brow and glanced in his direction.

“Why do you say such a thing?”

“There are people who still care about you,” he continued hesitantly, “Just because I don’t love you like that anymore doesn’t mean I still don’t love you as a friend. Kaede I know misses the hell outta ya. Go see her. Old bat’d love a visit.”

Kikyo’s lips twitched upwards as she nodded and sighed.

“That was unkind,” she chided gently, “You should not speak of your elders that way.”

“I knew her when she was a brat and I’m still older than her. I can call her whatever the hell I want,” Inuyasha laughed good-naturedly as he settled back down and gave Kagome’s still form a light squeeze before frowning suddenly and clearing his throat to make a peace offering, “Just...just so you know I’m sorry for what happened. Back then I mean. I should’ve known. I should’ve....”

“It was a very convincing plot,” Kikyo interrupted, “And exposed issues that were already present. I failed you more than you have ever failed me.”

“Is that why you helped Kagome?” Inuyasha asked hesitantly and the undead miko shrugged slightly.

“To be honest I do not know why I assisted,” she lied, “This existence is most strange.”

“I bet,” Inuyasha acknowledged wearily before furrowing his brow, “Does it hurt?”

“This form?”

Inuyasha nodded.

“Not any longer.”

#subtle futurama joke #if you get it you get it #trapped in a world of plot holes and spelling errors #leave earth for no raisins #inuyasha #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fandom #Kagome #Kikyo is not a bitch this time #inukag

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doctorjennawinston · 3 years

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Stats

Name: Jennavecia “Jenna” Marjorie Winston Age: 33 Birthdate: April 16 Occupation: ER Doctor at Tulsa General Hospital Sexuality: Heteroflexible Relationship Status: Single Bio under the cut! tw:pregnancy, tw:miscarriage, tw:parental death, tw:drunk driving

Jennavecia Marjorie Winston was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on the West Side of town. Growing up, Jenna lived what many would describe as a charmed life, having a silver spoon in her mouth from the moment she was born. Her father, Paul Winston, was a renowned surgeon, who essentially built the surgery department at Tulsa General from the ground up. Her mother, Marjorie Taylor-Winston, was a partner in one of the biggest law firms in Tulsa. Despite growing up as a Soc on the wealthy side of town, Jenna’s parents were insistent that she grow up as humble and kind as possible. They instilled values in her that seemed uncommon for the time, not wanting her to view herself as better than anyone else simply because of her circumstance. Jenna worked hard for everything she has, and was forced to learn many tough life lessons along the way.

Jenna had a wonderful relationship with her parents- they both loved her more than anything, and she was the apple of their eye, especially as an only child. Despite the fact that they both worked insane hours, they made certain to always make as much time for family and each other as possible, taking frequent family trips and vacations, and doing as much together as they could. Even though her parents were never necessarily absent, much of Jenna’s time as a child was spent with her nanny, the woman the Winstons hired to look after Jenna while they were at work. Jenna loved her nanny just as much as her parents, and viewed her as family- an extension of her parents in a sense. The two got along fabulously, and all was well with the world.

Then, when Jenna was 12, tragedy struck. Paul and Marjorie were making their way back home from a Charity Event the hospital was holding, one Jenna hadn’t attended with them due to having come down with the flu, when they were involved in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. Both were killed instantly upon impact, leaving 12-year-old Jenna an orphan. The only blessing in the whole mess was that her parents had been smart- they owned their lavish home, they owned their vehicles, and had made a point of funneling as much money as possible into a trust for Jenna, should anything have ever occurred. Due to this, Jenna was placed in the custody of her nanny, who was allowed to remain permenantly in the home, to continue raising Jenna.

Although her parents’ deaths rocked her to her core, Jennavecia did her best to remain positive, keeping the forward momentum and drive they’d instilled within her. She excelled in school, both in academics and in her extracurriculars. When Jenna was 14, she met Elijah Cane. The two wound up in a Biology class together, and became partners for the required labs. Within only a few days, Jenna was enamored with her partner, attracted to something about him she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Within only a few weeks, the two began dating. While Elijah and Jenna were very much in love, the relationship proved to be tumultuous at best. As the old saying goes, opposites attract, and this was absolutely the case with the pair of them. Jenna was type-a, organized, driven, focused, and as put-together as could be, while Elijah played the game of life fast and loose, living on the edge and rebelling against the Soc society as much as he possibly could. Riddled with arguments, disagreements, alcohol, drug use, and very little solid commitment, the relationship was on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again for many years.

Despite her relationship troubles, Jenna managed to graduate top of her class, and moved quickly on to college, followed by med school. Throughout this time, she and Elijah continued to go back-and-forth in their relationship. Jenna wanted her love to settle down, to work with her to build the life she’d always dreamed of. But, commitment just wasn’t something Elijah could provide. He often left Jenna alone, not coming home, being late on bills if he paid them at all, and certainly not even being willing to discuss wedding rings or bells. More than anything, Jenna wanted the life her parents had- to be so in love with her partner, to build a family, and to really settle down and into a normalized, comfortable life. At the age of 27, Jenna began to accept that Elijah Cane might never be able to provide her with any of those things. He might never be ready for the type of life she so desperately craved. So, she made the hardest decision of her life. She left him, for good.

Heartbroken, Jenna did her best to continue pushing herself through school, focusing on her studies and throwing every bit of energy she had into making sure she was the best doctor she could be. During this time, she met James, another med student who was in many of her classes. The two began studying together, then seeing each other more frequently for non-school related meetups. While Jenna’s heart was still with Elijah Cane, her mind forced her to move on. Within a few short months, James and Jenna began dating. With James, Jenna could see the future she’d always wanted, and while she couldn’t say she was as madly in love with him as she’d been with Elijah, she did love him. He was intelligent, respectable, and serious, and he seemed like everything Jenna had ever wanted. The pair dated for three years.

When Jenna was 30, she became pregnant with James’ child. Beyond excited, she was certain the event would open the door to the life she’d always dreamed of. But, when she told James the good news, he didn’t react as she’d expected. He became sullen, withdrawn, almost angry, and Jenna knew something was wrong. Only two months into the pregnancy, Jennavecia learned that James had been seeing someone else- someone he’d apparently fallen in love with, someone he planned to propose to, just as soon as he’d ended things with Jenna (which he’d apparently been looking to do for some time). It was then that James walked out on her, on their relationship, on their future, and on their unborn child. Heartbroken once more, Jenna struggled to cope with the stress of everything happening in her life, as well as the despair she felt at having her dream snatched from her once more. Eventually, the stress became too great, and in her third month of pregnancy, Jenna suffered a miscarriage.

She’d told no one, aside from her nanny (who still lived in the family home with her) of her pregnancy. Following the miscarriage, Jenna became extremely depressed, though she did her best to push forward, not wanting to discuss what had happened with anyone. Though, in her time of grief, it occurred to her that more than anything, the only person she wanted was Elijah Cane. Still, she did not reach out to him at that time, and to this day Elijah is unaware of what occurred between Jenna and James, aside from the fact that they broke up. About a year ago, Jenna found herself back in semi-contact with Elijah, having civil conversations and occasionally reaching out to check up on his welfare. Although he’d moved to the West Side of town, having completely rid himself of his Soc life and persona, Tulsa is small, and gossip travels fast. She’s aware of Elijah’s antics, knowing that following their breakup, he’s spiraled quite a bit.

Jenna graduated from med school, finishing her internships and residency, just after her miscarriage. She took an open position in Tulsa General’s ER, as working Emergency had always been something she’d been interested in and driven to do. She has held her position there for nearly three years, and her life revolves primarily around her job. Still fairly withdrawn following her experiences, Jenna is polite and friendly with everyone, but has struggled to form any new connections, having many trust issues and now believing that the dream of a wedding and family she’d always held so dear to be nothing more than a pipe dream. Oh, and there’s the fact that she’s realized she is still and always has been very much in love with Elijah Cane.

#bios:all #bios:jenna winston #tw:parental death #tw:miscarriage #tw:drunk driving #tw:pregnancy

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averyscarlet-blog · 4 years

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Percy’s Story Pt. 1

The Naive Knight

Warning: Slightly R-18

Theme(s): Coming of Age, Power & Corruption

Type: Original Story

Featured Original Character(s): Perseus/Percy and Rei

Other Character(s): Rayner, Jankin, Tybaut

Inspiration: The Tale of King Arthur

Summary: Not everyone gets the chance to obtain what others have sought for for years. In Perseus's case, he was able to obtain everything he was looking for. But at what cost? Was there truly no other way to obtain one's knighthood? That's what he asked himself. By the time he had obtained what he sought for, many of his closest friends had died in his place, backstabbed by someone he almost viewed as a brother.

Since I was a child, my grandfather had always wanted me to achieve great things. Far greater than my father, him, and his father before him. There was only one thing I could think of that could place my name in history, and that's by taking over Camelot. The Saxons failed because of the lack of proper equipment to fight against the Britons strong defense. The only reason the King fell was because his failure to properly maintain his important bonds, especially with his own queen and his most trusted Knight. I could rule the land King Arthur and his Knights had sacrificed their lives in protecting, bring the peace they dreamed of. With the recent loss of their monarch, the kingdom is open for the taking, anyone could claim the throne if they want. Aside from that, there is another issue to be dealt with, the remaining knights of the round table.

Without their King to guide them, they became a flock of lost little sheep. I’m not even certain if they are willing to allow anyone, let alone an outsider, take the throne. In order to gain their trust, I need the very reason they followed King Arthur.

All I needed to do was tearch for the weapon that once acted as a beacon of light, the weapon that made many kneel before its bearer and slew those that went against them. Excalibur. The magical blade which was lost after the Battle of Camlann. I’ve heard stories of where it was left, but the only person that I know is still breathing and out in the open that could tell me. And that person is the former Queen of Camelot, Guinevere. Last I heard, she was taking up residence in a convunt. If all else fails, I have to locate the so-called powerful wizard himself, Merlin.

He disappeared into the magical forest, Brocéliande, after the King's death. In order to start my journey, to test if I'm truly strong enough to face such trials, I had to fight and kill my grandfather. I didn't want to, but he was right, I'll be facing foes far stronger than him on my journey, and if I want to prepare for such encounters, I have face of someone that I'm on the same level as. And that's my grandfather. Before we started, he told me to put a blindfold on. I didn't understand why I needed one, especially since I have long since passed that part of my training, but I did as I was told. My grandfather wasn’t as young as anyone initially believed him to be, though I can understand why.

Despite being in his eighties, his platinum blonde hair never turned gray, the skin of his was almost absent of any age lines, and most curious of all, remained just as strong after all those years. Honestly, whenever I compare myself to him, appearance and personality-wise, I had some difficulty believing that we were of the same blood. Hell, I even questioned his age. He was rambunctious, a flirt, short tempered man that rarely acted as an adult when around strangers. The fact he could hardly hold his alcohol after two cups reminded me of myself when I was younger. I could hardly drink through half a cup on my first try. I could hardly get through half a cup.

Still, despite his flaws, people were always drawn to him. I could never tell if they were attracted to his personality, that large grin he wears even in battle, or both. An oddly youthful-looking elderly man who held the valor and pride of a knight; and is also one of the strongest swordsman in all the land.

That’s how I always viewed him as, until my sword pierced through his armor. It was only a split second, but when he accidentally sliced the cloth from my face, the same mysterious eye color we both shared was filled with grief. By the time I realized what I had just done, I had already plunged my sword in his heart. I can still recall the surge of emotions I felt that day. My only issue was I didn’t know how to express them all at the same time. The one thing I could stare down at his bleeding corpse with expressionless eyes.

My entire body felt numb. My mind was clouded, only his face appeared in my thoughts on repeat. I don’t even know how long I’d been standing there, watching as the pool of blood began to reach my feet.

Only my eyes knew how to react, and that was by crying the same tears as my grandfather. Despite dying with a smile, for the first time since my father’s death, he cried. Not because he was going to die, he cried because he was going to leave me by myself. That when I realized the true purpose behind my blindfold. It was to hide the fact that he was holding back by using his non-dominant arm. It was to keep me from seeing his true feelings, preventing from feeling any remorse for pointing my blade at him. He wanted me to be free of such feelings, to walk the path he had laid out for me.

He wasn’t the strongest knight. He was a simple man that, rather than wasting his life by serving under a crown, chose to use his strength to protect others, use his charm to lift the spirits of many. Upon performing the burial rites, I raised my sword and vowed to follow his example. I may not be successful, I may even scare off several people for trying too hard to be like him, but I will in memory of him. Although I do not know what has happened in Camelot since King Arthur’s passing, but I had hoped the Knights of the Round table were able to maintain some form of stability when I arrive.

Sadly, it wasn’t the case. When I arrived, everything was in a disarray. Poverty riddled the land as far as the eye can see. Homes appeared as it they would crumble from even the slightest touch. Shops were either abandoned, destroyed, or had little to no customers inside. I had hoped to encounter at least one patrolling soldier that could point me in the right direction, but all I met were apprehensive stares and fearful cries when approached. I can understand if the Knights of the Round table had some difficulty maintaining certain parts of the kingdom, but never in my dreams did I imagine things to turn out like this. As I wondered around what I assume was the marketplace, I ran into a girl, an exotic one at that.

She had partially dark skin, silky brown hair and... Yellow eyes. The same color as mine and my grandfather. I didn’t have the chance to approach her as I was taken by her striking beauty. Her outlandish appearance did help me chase after her, but when I was so close to reaching her, she disappeared. I’ve never seen anyone with such an appearance before in my life. Could I be a descendant of her people? I hope that once I obtain my sword I am able to find her.

As I resumed my search for answers, I stumbled upon a church. It was the only structure that was properly maintained. In hopes of receiving a point in the right direction, I met with the priest and prodded as much as I was allowed. And ironically, the woman I was hoping to meet enters the church. Despite no longer adorning the attire of a noble and only wearing black clothing, she carried herself with high regard as she walked into the room. The way she moved, the way she maintained a neutral face, it’s no wonder she was chosen as Queen. Her beauty was not as well described from the stories I heard.

From what I know, many had approached King Arthur, begging, hoping they’d look their way. The only one that was able to capture his attention was Guinevere, whom he met after helping King Leodegrance defeat a rival king. When I approached her, I had recalled her past; her affair with Sir Lancelot. I felt ashamed to approach her with the sole intent of finding her deceased husband’s sword. She was clearly still grieving, hence the pulled back veil and the black dress. While I do not know the details that led to the end of the affair, I am certain that many still hold some malice towards the former Queen for her ‘betrayal’ towards the King’s feelings.

Still, with a nervous breath through the nostrils, I greeted, “How fair thee Your Majesty.”

Taken aback at the formal address, she merely laughs. “Your Majesty... it’s been quite a long time since I was called such a title.”

“Ah... I’m sorry...” I apologized and bowed my head.

“There’s no need to apologize. I’m simply merely pleased to know there are still others that hold me in such high regard.” Her smile, although real, held a hidden sadness. “I see you’re a swordsman,” she noted.

“Y-Yes!” I stammer, failing to hide the two weapons which hung from my hip.

“May I see them?” Guinevere requests.

I do so without objection. At first, I felt a surge of pride when I handed her my blade. I made it myself when grandfather had me become an apprentice of a blacksmith, hoping it would put some muscle in my previously thin arms. The sword had a basket-shaped guard with a blade almost similar to a rapier.

“My, what an interesting sword... I can tell just how much love was put into its creation.”

I felt a little bashful at the comment. When I was about to reach for the other, I hesitated. My grandfather’s broadsword. Even if he was holding back, it’s a wonder how I was able to fight against him. After exchanging weapons, I panicked when she suddenly began to cry.

“This is.... Rayner’s weapon.”

Realizing that she knew my grandfather, I bitterly took advantage of the situation and told her of my heritage and my purpose for travelling to Camelot. She wasn’t upset as I had anticipated nor was she disappointed. Rather, she seemed relatively calm to learn someone was searching for her husband’s blade with the sole intention of taking the throne. I could have lied to her, but I felt I had an obligation to be truthful towards her after learning she had known my grandfather. She was saddened to learn of his recent passing, but she understood his reasons.

Guinevere admitted that while she doesn’t know what had happened to the sword, she knows who was the person present for when he drew his last breath. Sir Bedivere. That was all I wanted to know. Not wanting to linger any longer, I said my farewells and took my leave.

Before I did, she called out, “If you happen to encounter Lancelet during your journey, please tell him... I’m sorry.”

I stopped midway from the door. I told her, “I may not know what had happened between you three nor do I want to know the reasons. As a man inexperienced in love, I may yet understand what had led you to make the decisions to did back then, or I may never will. I do know this, if you truly love someone, you do not give up on them and wait. I’m certain Lancelot is waiting for you somewhere, so rather than having a stranger pass on the message, please face him yourself.”

My search for Sir Bedivere was far more challenging that locating the former Queen; his whereabouts were unknown. Everywhere I went, no one knew exactly where he is. They didn't even know where he lives. All I heard were rumors; rumors that did not match up or make any logical sense. The most outrageous one I heard was that he had travelled across the neverending sea to fight against mythical creatures in honor of the king. On my way, I met various people along my travels. While many still saw me as a mere boy, they respected my skills with the sword during combat.

Eventually, I made several friends along the way, some of them agreeing to join my journey. Jankin, born from a line of knights, was the oldest but not the wisest man. He always picked fights left and right, even when sober. That’s how we met, inside a tavern completely before we ended up butting heads for no particular reason. Even now, I still have no idea how I invited him to join, he just approached me after my hangover and told me he was ready for the quest. Tybaut was a well-known thief of the next village I visited. He attempted to steal mine and Jankin’s swords, but the man, just as quick as he is in drinking a mug of beer, snatches back longsword before he got far. He was a surpisingly lean man for someone that could move so swiftly.

Instead of arresting him, I offered him to join our party. Since I had unknowingly invited Jankin while drunk, I thought it’d make sense to expand our numbers. Plus, I saw what happened to criminals when caught, they lose their hands. While I understand the reasons, I found no justice in such a cruel act. I promised to provide all of his needs so long as he swears to never steal for himself ever again. He was uncertain at first, especially since I was still a teen, but he agrees and joins us. The last two were siblings, brothers in fact.

One of them would become my long time best friend, as well as one of my greatest foes.

#Original story #long post #Original Character #Backstory #coming of age

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redscullyrevival · 7 years

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Fool’s Quest: Fitz and the Fool Rundown

And now we wait together @sonnetscrewdriver!

Plot/Setting/Narrative

I’m so embarrassed for my son Rap-a-taskal.

Getting ahead of myself here but take a chill pill kid.

Calm your Tellator tits.

Actually, screw it! lets start at “the end”:

I’m officially caught up now and I’ve been digging around the internet lurking on forums trying to soak up art/discussions/opinions I’ve been avoiding for months.

And the most interesting fannish thing I’ve uncovered is how lots of people are treating Tellator and Rap as two different people - I’ve read several discussions and threads where Tellator was being thought of and referred to as almost like a parasite or something.

I personally didn’t get that vibe when reading Rain Wilds.

I don’t view Rapskal as an innocent bystander taken over by an insidious and other entity, but I can totally see how folks can see it that way so power to them I suppose.

Time and Parenting really come to a point at the end of this book, bounded tight within the thrill of having these two Realm of the Elderlings character axis’ finally meeting!:

And we the reader are, now, FAR more knowledgeable about the magics and histories of the Realm than any one character present! Funny how time and managing our narrative children will do that, huh? ;D

I’m of the personal opinion that the Elderlings are going to be too thankful and indebted to Fitz to really head the level of retribution Rapskal will demand - but that doesn’t mean Fitz won’t make matters worse with his paranoia and how he expects to be treated (Fitz’s “I-deserve-to-suffer” self loathing really reeks in this book and I have no doubt it will harm more than help in the early stages of Assassin’s Fate)

But oh! I can’t wait to see my Elderling darlings and Six Duchies nerds mingle more!

And yes, I do think Rapskal will continue to be an asshole.

I’m invested in Rapskal though and I can’t wait to see what his deal is and how he’ll affect the story.

I don’t know about y’all but I feel Rap is being set up to have some big part to play - but I’ve no clue if it’ll be direct or indirect lol. TIME WILL TELL!

If I had to guess right now (and I’m going to because why not) I’d guess that at the moment Rapskal probably struggles, that he is antagonistic, because he is outside of the narrative’s “Reflection & Parenting as Change” theme and may never fold into that current because of his choice to skip adolescence via-memory stones.

Rapskal doesn’t have a lot to reflect back on, or maybe the issue is he has too much memory or doesn’t reflect at all and only looks forward forward forward. And we know he isn’t a parent as Nortel told us.

Frankly I hope Rapskal can learn from Fitz and/or Amber, I’d like to see him fold back into the narrative flow rather than swim decidedly against it (not that he isn’t uninteresting for doing so, quite the opposite really).

Maybe Rapskal will find something to reflect back on? Maybe he’ll refuse?

But enough about Rapskal!

THYMARA’S WINGS ARE SO BIG NOW. *gasp* I love her.

Do you think when our Six Duchies party leaves Kelsingra they’ll ride down the Rain Wilds River on Tarman?!

*muffled screeching*

Okay okay okay I’m sorry, back into a Fitz and the Fool Rundown not Kristie has deep love for Rain Wilders Giggling.

Fitz

This dummy.

Don’t get me wrong; temperament wise this older Fitz is still my favorite but he’s also so full of grief and self loathing he’s practically useless mid-book.

And that’s fine, Hobb as always does a great job with making me understand Fitz.

But still - OH MY GOD.

You’ve done a lot wackier and intensely strange stuff than admit your daughter is the result of your BFF, your wolf-brother, and yourself’s souls mingling Fitz!

You even come to terms with that fact, even if simply choosing to ignore it for the most part that still means you’ve acknowledged it - you’re willing to painstakingly mine information from any and everyone but you don’t tell Beloved about your daughter’s dream journal?

Um??? WHAT???

Wake up dude.

Just poor decisions left and right.

Needless to say I was very frustrated with Fitz for a while but we worked through it.

Oh my god I friggin’ cried when Starling sung her Epic and Fitz was recognized by the court though, oh man that was so satisfying and mystifying and wondrous.

I’m glad Fitz has for the most part gotten over his issues with Amber and the Fool’s various identities and seems very accepting of Ash and Spark.

Bee

Nooooo!

I mean, “No” to Bee still being on her own but mostly “No” about Bee slowly being blocked out of the narrative perspective!

NOOOO

I’d be fascinated to find out how long she was in the Pillar. Based on the narrative we read and assume she’s wandering about around the same time Fitz and company are but we’ve been given nothing in evidence of that.

INTERESTING

Stay safe my little piglet!

The Fool

Yes.

YES.

I’m very intrigued to learn more about Beloved’s dragon blood transformation and what knowledge will come with it.

What will happen if the dragon is truly dead, who will guide their transformation?

ME THINKS FITZ

But, uh, yeah.

While it was uncomfortable I was rather happy that Fool got angry at Fitz and had no trouble telling him to step off.

I wasn’t very pleased with Fitz myself at the time, I was a bit smug about him getting a tray full of food plopped in his lap.

Well done.

I really hope to witness more of Ash and Spark and The Fool’s bond!

Beloved has been alone for so long, has had the opposite later life to Fitz and his massive family.

And what better than taking in and giving shelter to a son and a daughter?

Good stuff.

Shun AKA Shine

CALLED IT.

Oh Shine, you poor dear.

Shine will become an asset to Nettle, I imagine, and I desperately hope she heals and that Kettricken can guide her well and that court does Shine good.

I’m livid and just overall done with Chade, I’m serious.

I feel as though I’ve given Chade benefit of the doubt over and over again and it isn’t like he is an evil person or claims to be something he isn’t - but uuugh what the hell?

If you’re mister cloak and dagger spider web master maybe reel in some goddamn self control and think ahead on the consequences of your personal actions instead of just those of your King and various eyes within the kingdom, come the fuck on dude.

What an idiot sending both his children to a grieving Fitz and for not following up with any information for his children OR for Fitz.

I’d be so upset if I were Shine, I would’t be surprised if she drugs him.

It’d be poetic in a twisted away.

Why did Chade hide Shine from others as well as from herself? What was he thinking, that she’d have to become less shallow, vain, and self-centered before he’d bestow upon her the depths of her lineage?

Chade moans about being denied learning to Skill because he was a bastard but zip! he seals up his bastard daughter’s power because ???

????!!!!!

ANYWAY

I’m glad Shine is safe and that she and Bee came to a functioning relationship even if not one ripe with mutual meaning and growth.

Lant

Chade-light 2.0 and I aren’t hitting it off so well but I’m trying to keep a level head about this sassy lost child.

His biggest sin is that he is boring.

Or, well, I think my real issue with Lant is that he’s young.

So young.

Oddly young.

Older than Per or Ash or Spark yes but younger than them somehow; he doesn’t see, he doesn’t listen, he doesn’t seem to even think for himself.

Rolling about in his self pity that he can’t bang his sister doesn’t help endure him to me either but you know, I’ll take Riddle’s advice and let time and space do it’s thing so maybe by the time the third book comes out I’ll have cooled on Lant.

Ash/Spark

OH SHIT.

I love themmmmmm.

Oh my god.

I’m really really really hoping that Ash, Spark, Per, and Bee are going to be Gen 2 of Elderling mayhem and stories.

That’d be golden.

Smart as a whip and willing to make their own choices, that’s Ash and Spark.

Brilliant.

Perseverance

Talk about stickin’ to your name!

Per is a sweetie and I really need to stop but I can’t help but see him as my son Charlie.

Which is amazing - but gutting at the same time lol.

What have I done?!

Per is perfection and I really hope Fitz does right by him and of everyone traveling now I feel like Per will help Fitz the most as far as his inner space goes.

Per has a understanding and relationship with Bee outside of Fitz’s understanding of his daughter and I think Fitz’ll need to hear about that and mine Per’s perseverance as their quest wears on.

Highlighted Passages

I smiled as the royal family passed, tears of pride stinging my eyes. Our doing, the Fool’s and mine.

“Vengeance?” I asked quietly. “It’s a poor motive for doing anything. Vengeance doesn’t undo what they did. Doesn’t restore whatever they destroyed.”

“Sometimes thanking someone is more important to the person giving the thanks than the one who receives it.”

“I thought you had come here in fury over what I did to you as we passed through the Skill-pillars.” He stepped back from me. “Oh, I’ll leave that to Nettle. If she hasn’t blasted the skin from your flesh with her words yet, you’ve that to look forward to.

I could not think about it at the moment. I tried so hard, but there was just not enough time or enough of me. And trying was not doing.

Safe. As if “safe” were more important than anything else.

With the instincts of all bullies, they knew that eventually she would have to emerge. Then, in the way of their kind, they would peck her to death for being different.

“Ah, Fitz. I can always trust you to have some sort of bizarre problem that breaks my ennui.”

She breathed as if she had run over nine hills. I stared at her. She had been a stranger, a lover, a nemesis, and a betrayer to me. And now she was my historian.

“Why does understanding come so late to us?”

War and hardship had hardened them; I understood that, but it did not mean that I wished to see my own folk mocked or disdained that they were not likewise hardened.

But all fires, of wood or grief, burn down to ashes eventually.

“Doing something stupid and reckless is not a better proof of your love than doing something measured and powerful.”

“Keeping a child from harm is not the same as rearing one.”

“Steady, I’m pregnant, not ill.”

Both logic and love anchored me where I was and doomed me to the suffocation of waiting.

“Every one of them has witnessed what the Servants have done to their fellows. And each has chosen to serve them rather than defy them. Every one of them is more treacherous than you can imagine.”

Once one knows what heartless people can do, it cannot be entirely forgotten. It always remains among the possible things that can befall you.

“Put it behind you, and think about it again in twenty years. Whatever it was, you can’t change it. So stop clinging to it, and let time and distance do their work.”

“I always fail the people I love the most.” “Say rather that you judge yourself more harshly than anyone else ever has.”

“No soup! Anything I can bite and chew. Or crunch! Is there anything crunchy?”

“That I guessed,” Malta said knowingly. “When first I saw him, I felt as if I already knew him.” She smiled at me as if we shared a jest. I smiled back, without understanding.

“Worrying doesn’t solve anything. I know that. In one way I know it but in another it seems wrong. It seems that if I don’t think about all the things that hurt, all the things I’ve done wrong, then I don’t really care.”

#realm of the elderlings #year of book #fitz and the fool #fandom talks

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coe-lilium · 7 years

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sternbeere ha rebloggato il tuo post e ha aggiunto: “Hi, I do not want to be annoying and repetitive (which I sometimes…”

I hate reblogging the same thing twice, but I am…

afraid the comments will get lost, now I have also two further questions: 1. would she turn out the same Huffle-puffish, if she had not been indoctrinated by Euphemia and mainly Rodolphus (at least in my hc it was mainly Rodolphus)

2. I am really curious about her childhood, especially with regards to the missing information about her Ravenclaw traits, I mean we can make guesses, from what she told, but it is a) not enough and b) spiked with lies probably.

Delphi and Sorting - part 2

**First post about the topic can be found here **

**WARNING: long, long post ahead, answering the first question only**

And as we enter “fascinating topic 2″, something I left out in yesterday’s first post analysis kick in at full forces: family tradition. And, in a broader sense, upbringing.

The topic of nature vs nurture is massive and has been debated by geniuses, philosophers, scientist and “normal” people way smarter than I am, so I’ll touch that only briefly. I do think children aren’t a complete blank state at birth and have some inclinations, which can later develop into personality traits or be shunned, or stay buried but still there.

Did tiny, baby Delphi had a natural inclination for loyalty, patience and hardwork? I’d like so, I do headcanon her as such, but while debating canon, with her appearing only in a script -with all its constraints- and a play -where the character is portrayed by different actresses who’ll underline different aspects-, and this script/play giving out so little info about her… we can’t say.

At least we know for sure how much upbringing can affect a child and how different ones can lead to a completely different person (like Scorpius and Scorpion King), so let’s dwell here because things gets interesting.

We do have an alternative life for Delphi in the darkAU (some other musings about it here )

With one for sure, maybe even both her parent alive, she would’ve grown up with them. Maybe not 100% raised by them, Voldemort surely would’ve been busy, but possessive and secretive as he was, in no way I can see him dumping her with some loyal DE and coming picking her up once she’s older. Especially because he himself was dumped and grow up to hate the “dumper” till he managed to kill him. Voldemort was many things, but not an idiot. He would’ve remembered his story and done everything in his power to prevent Delphi from turning on him. And a child who think their parent love and value them, who knows and feels as a welcomed part of their family will behave very differently from one who knows their parents had no time to raise them themselves/ consider them just an asset (nb: Voldy real consideration of her would’ve 100% been this, the point is just not let her know it).

So in this timeline we had a most-likely-raised-by-her-parents Delphi (no kidding, I’d legit be bloody scared of her). This is a Delphi who probably was the most Slytherin you could find. Both Voldemort and Bellatrix embodied and valued their House’s traits and she would’ve learned to do it too. With a reasonable fix to be made in the process: make sure the kid’s ambition is channeled through perfect loyalty and not in a “I can’t wait to be king” way. Apparently Augurey!Delphi is a fan of self-built future, but I have serious reservations that dad encouraged the same behaviour in her.

But following a canon ending, if we remove Rowle and Lestrange from the equation… she either die as a baby (nopenopenope) or is found and raised by someone else.

There’s this baby, and everything point to her being Bellatrix’s. Rodolphus is in prison. No one want the child to grow up messed up (ops) or indoctrinated so she become dangerous herself (ops, again). Give her a happy life and you drop the chances of getting another resentful and vengeful Riddle by 90%. What do you do? No orphanage (that’s insane, been there, done that) or a muggle family, and you can’t seal her magic away (that’s despicable).

The Malfoy? Out of question. Even if -a very big “if”- Narcissa would’ve been up for adoption, they’re not to be trusted.

Maybe Draco and Astoria? When Delphi’s a baby/very young they were a little too young and traumatized to take care of a child, but if they’re already together and Draco had already distanced himself from his parents… that’s an option. With the amazing person and mother Astoria turned out to be I’m sure this Delphi would’ve grow up well adjusted and loved, even if maybe a little lonely as Scorpius did (a dark haired child adopted by Malfoys? Rumors everywhere, I bet it). They would’ve told her she was adopted, who her mother was, and she would’ve been an older sister to Scorpius. I can easily see her develop a fierce loyalty toward the new family and wanting to distance herself from the biological mother who hurt so many people, “dad” included. An ambition similar to Scorpius’s one, in a way, to prove the world you can be better and use your magic for good. Once it get clear she’s not a Lestrange but a Riddle? I can’t imagine older Draco or Astoria dumping her, even if Draco surely would’ve had many confused feelings about it and maybe distanced himself. As her reaction, double the loyalty and the efforts to prove you’re different, and don’t let anyone talk shit about your adoptive parents. Puffish with some Slytherin, channeled in a positive way.

Or Andromeda, if she wasn’t crushed by grief and could/wanted to see past her parentage? (not a simple thing do do at all, btw. Far from me to say that she had some sort of obligations or was a bad person if she would’ve been “nope, I can’t”. Delphi’s the child of the woman/sister who killed her daughter after all. Shit’s heavy). Probably similar to Draco/Astoria, but with a “brother” of her age to grow up with and less eyes on her since Andromeda and her family were firmly on the good side.

Maybe even not related but highly trusted families could’ve been an option, maybe Order members. The common point in all these adoptive families would’ve been…well, a quite usual one for adoption. She’s not of their blood but they chose her nonetheless and treated her like their own.

I know it’s a complicated subject and not every adopted child make peace with it, but in Delphi’s case her parents weren’t simply victims of the war, they instigated it in the first place and took active role in it. Bellatrix could have stayed out of the battlefield and with her, but she didn’t. Maybe it wasn’t 100% like a conscious abandonment, but she surely wasn’t anywhere their top priority list, and without a biased DE’s view per Rodolphus…eh, we can be sure that’s something she would’ve remembered.

Instead of the canonical longing she’d probably feel resentment towards Voldemort/Bellatrix, and gratefulness for who actually raised her.

To conclude all of this? Yes, I think she would’ve been quite the Puff anyway. For opposite reasons and using her parents not as goals but obstacles, but she’d been loyal and hardworking nonetheless, this time with the chance to grow more and better as her own person, and some traits crushed by her canon upbringing would’ve been cherished and blossomed. A healthy dose of self-worth, for starters ^^’

#sternbeere #answer #delphi riddle #delphi diggory #cursed child #hp meta #okay this literally took me two days?#mostly to get all my notes and reorganize them into a proper #a proper coherent piece and im still not very convinced it looks like one #be patient with me guys meta's aren't my thing #even if #aw i love doing this #and it's just the first question!#one of these days i should gather all my delphi posts and make some order and doing a masterpost #harry potter

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