#but i ALSO understand that engaging with a text in this way takes extra energy that we don't always have

[iggy-hands]

I only watch the ofmd fandom from afar but some people give the impression of not conciliating well how the show is light hearted and comforting but also deals with heavy subjects in a general violent contex. the fact I've seen people say there's no homophobia when it's the central driving force of the plot is the most exaggerated example. but it's also in this attempt to flatten characters into "uwu baby" and "who's right vs who's wrong" (or at worse who's an abuser) when the show clearly does its best to create a likable flawed cast. Stede is extremely insecure and a horrible father/husband even before he abandons his family. Ed is an abuse survivor and he struggles with anger. Izzy is an asshole and it's funny- I mean he's a brit working class caricature. those things interact and its what makes the show human and interesting. why try to smash it into a simplistic dichotomy. it won't work 😭😭

and obviously you know all of this. so I guess it's: thanks for having braincells 😘😘

I don't actually know how old this ask is, but, it's been in my inbox for a while lol, sorry!

I think observing from a distance might be the most enjoyable way, it's been years since I was this close to the centre of a fandom and it's wild.

But yes, you're absolutely correct, it's a show about flawed characters and their ability to realise they're in the wrong, and change themselves - if that's what they want! Obviously not every character is given this opportunity, nor should they be, but I think my main issue with people coming down on the characters either way is that currently, they're unfinished!

...maybe Izzy will get worse next season, maybe his racism/general abusiveness and manipulation will become his main character traits, maybe his arc is that he rejects offers of kindness and belonging because of his own prejudices/self-importance and in the end this destroys him. I'd love to see that play out, but I'd love to see whatever they do with him play out too.

Taking a break for a while really made me realise that actually, this is a comedy show about pirates? What Are We Doing??

I love the meta and the drawn out explanation - I am an English Literature and Media Studies graduate, like literally I dedicated years of my life to this stuff! But one of the main reasons for these analyses is that it's supposed to be a discussion, there are supposed to be disagreements and alternative theories, and you should look at whether the evidence is actually in support of what is being said.

It isn't about deciding what is moral/immoral content to consume. Especially in a comedy show, where the character people are angry about is so cringe-fail within the show itself, and who's worst traits seem only to be evident through close-reading.

One of the first things you learn if you take Lit/Media in higher education is that you can be wrong about a text. You can't just say whatever you want without actual textual evidence (and, pet-peeve, but I personally do not count interviews etc). And sometimes, completely contrasting information can be true - because of the ambiguity! Whether these meanings are intentional or not - this is unknowable. And of course you can have your own personal opinions or readings of a text, but it's weird to decide that because you are right, everything else must be wrong.

I also see posts that essentially read - "this character is deep and multifaceted and we should look closely at them. But this character sucks and if you engage with content that looks closely at them then you suck too!" And I can't help but feel that that's worse than if we weren't to engage with textual analysis at all. Ignoring the actions of "evil" characters, who shape the narrative, feels very dismissive to me - disrespectful both to the text itself but also to the real world issues that it draws from.

I suppose in conclusion, everyone continue to think critically, consume media critically, but also, touch grass sometimes. and maybe read a book too.

#woes of emily #hhhh should i main tag this?? #ofmd #is that. was that. a mistake? #long post #thank you for this ask/ a reason to say all of this essentially lol #i probably am wrong about some of this and that's fine. a lot of it is quite simplified and not universally true #thats because this is a response to an ask on tumblr and not an academic essay #i do think that fiction can affect real life. i think this is why things like copaganda exists #media is also a reflection is real life - whether we intend it to be or not. it's impossible for it not to be #but i also think the only way to combat this is to consume critically #and not write things off as problematic and simply ignore it like it's not there? #but i ALSO understand that engaging with a text in this way takes extra energy that we don't always have #especially when its for a silly. comforting. diverse. comedy show #that also just happens to deal with some big issues in a really engaging and often subtle way.... #it's a complex issue!! #im a big fan of giving people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to things #and maybe that's one's on me but #I'd personally rather assume that other people also. have braincells. as the anon worded it here #than swathe entire sections of the fandom in accusations of supporting racism/homophobia/abuse etc etc #🤷‍♂️ idk #it's a complex issue i guess and i dont have the answers #and ive not even been actively looking for them #I'm just a guy #ask #anon #ask to tag

[harperhampton1]

Characteristics Of Dating

Quite often when you are attempting to check out places to be able to fulfill brand new craigslist personals alternative individuals, it eventually finally ends up costing you cash because of beverages, food, and so forth. With a dating site you certainly will spend one time each month and also you will definitely be succesful fulfill and converse with as many people while you’d like. That's the time when agriculture lastly is totally established; the demise of a hunter-gatherer site would thus match on this common picture.  נערות ליווי בחיפה קריות והצפון  I'd wish to spend just sufficient time collectively that we do not get sick of one another. Yeah, I get a little goofy. I get a bit of nervous, I should admit. These variations in upbringing undoubtedly have an impact on how every technology approaches issues like dating and love. Now certain, there are a lot of overlaps between Millennials and Gen Xers - each of them are fairly well tailored to utilizing the internet to meet and keep up a correspondence with new individuals - however there are positively differences as well. Dating other folks is a superb technique to learn extra about yourself, as well as what you want or dislike in a relationship.

It's a good way to meet people, but not sustain a relationship. After all, it’s all subjective, and there isn't a approach one might simply develop an analytics instrument that will merely count the percentages and give you a precise and unprejudiced answer. However, there are things you can be taught both by doing or by taking advice from clever sources (meaning, not your drunken frat good friend). Not having sufficient vitality to do one thing generally is a bit of a letdown for youthful people who find themselves bursting at the seams with excess energy. Finding out who is dating Chloe Powell is relatively straightforward, however keeping track of her flings, hookups, and breakups is tougher. I would need somebody who could make me chuckle. Although you would possibly want a little bit of route in relation to figuring out your finest romantic asset, know that you a minimum of have overcome a huge hurdle in the dating world - you understand what individuals want! You need to know one another really well and that takes time.

Really is determined by how nicely you click on. It actually is dependent upon the particular person. Relies on why you're sending texts. It sounds as in the event you and your husband are at a stalemate, or why write to me. Ugh, that appears like a nightmare! I like that emotional connection. I want an intellectual connection. Why do it is advisable to textual content? Why? Because they've had vastly different experiences in referring to others, in attending to know them, and in falling in love. There's no approach to know. So the query is, which era is more closely aligned with the way you view love and really experience being in love? 2002. Swapping back and forth from a male result in a "Bachelorette," the fact Tv sequence follows the journey of one particular person dating a minimum of 25 people, with the hopes of being engaged to one among them ultimately. In the event you cracked 100, you're being bizarre. I do not know the way.

Dating an introvert doesn’t must be tough or scary, and now that you recognize me a little better, maybe you’ll take a chance on me. For the most part, but I've my faults. Can I have all three? OkCupid is among the very few apps you can use that don't require a Facebook profile. Yeah, I may be. Yeah, that might stink. Yeah, so long as you're not too over-the-top. Oh yeah, you want to ensure it is excellent. Yes, I virtually at all times make the primary move. There needs to be a decent number of dates to make it official. All these fashions and strategies have shown to be helpful in numerous studies, but they're computationally intensive, making it just about unimaginable to deal with the larger information sets available right now, even when utilizing sophisticated implementations and highly effective computer systems ( Ayres et al. Relationships are tough to predict, even once they exist between two completely odd folks. I'm not even positive anymore.

[aerialcedrick]

PINTEREST | MUSINGS | INTRO | TASKS

[ DA’VINCHI, HE/HIM, CIS MAN ]  —  [ CEDRICK CHANDLER ]  is a grandchild of  [ HERMES & EROS ]  with the power of  [ ENHANCED SPEED & WING MANIFESTATION ] .  they were born in  [ 1998 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2016 ] .  with the change, they [ ARE TRAINING IN ]  the  [ HERO ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ LIFTING WEIGHTS OR TEACHING YOUNGER NEMEAN LION KIDS SPORTS ] .  if you’d like to meet them try the  [ SUN ]  building .  

GENERAL

Full Name: Cedrick Chandler  Nickname(s): Ricki  Age: 23  Date of Birth: December 13, 1998  Hometown: Baltimore, Maryland

FAMILY

Parents: Jenelle Chandler (mother) & Leroy Chandler Sr. (father, non-biological), Hermes (grandparent) Eros (grandparent) Sibling(s): Leroy “Roy/Junior” Chandler Jr. 16, Zeke “Zee” Chandler 9 (younger brothers, non-demigods)  Pet(s): Female Doberman Pinscher named Kahlúa    Family’s Financial Status: Middle Class

BIOGRAPHY

Ricki’s parents had him young. Jenelle, a child of Hermes, had chosen to live a life separate from her godly relatives. She had the power of omnilingualism and was studying foreign policy in undergrad, keeping the secrets of her skills to herself. College is the time for experimenting, and a threesome with a child of Eros left Jenelle and Leroy with a baby they didn’t know what to do with. Jenelle took a leave of absence from school to carry but never returned and Leroy finished his degree. The couple tried to look at Ricki’s conception as an act of love, something they both took part in, and decided against a paternity test in favor of raising him as their own. 

Ricki was 6 by the time Junior was born and wasn’t showing any signs of being a demigod. His speed felt like a gift and they put him in sports young, having played little league, soccer, and eventually running track in high school. Jenelle had a feeling he’d inherited his speed from her lineage, but never put that pressure on Ricki. Ricki was always a popular, likable guy and is incredibly close to his father. He loves kids and would do anything for his little brothers. He was a gifted athlete and though the Chandlers knew his skills were likely genetic, from Hermes, they chose to keep their kids out of the know.

Junior year of high school was when his wings were discovered. An uncontrollable itching in his back made him claw and scrape at his skin, unaware what the issue was. A few x-rays showed wings growing under his skin. That’s when his parents looked at each other and realized the truth: Ricki was not Leroy’s son. 

It took Ricki a long time to process this but he tried not to be distant, instead spending more time at the gym and hanging out with friends as a distraction. He started cutting class and lingering at the mall with the wrong crowd, even started stealing and getting into trouble. The day his parents told him they were sending him to NL he almost caused a riot. He’d worked hard, and having to admit that work wasn’t his own felt stolen. If it was up to him, he’d ignore the stretch in his back as long as he could.

When he got to NL he finally began embracing his powers out of a need to make an impression and show off. He liked being fast and knew with the right training from the right people he could be faster, better. Something about becoming a hero made him feel strong and important and special and he liked that. He got closer to Hermes, but still struggled to get close to Eros, and didn’t make any immediate efforts to work with his wings.

The growing pains got so bad that half way into coming to Nemean Lion Ricki started taking pain killers to help with the pain, but they made him distant and spacey. He didn’t take them long enough to form any strong reliance, and is going into this year trying to embrace his wings and learn to control them. He hopes to ask to shadow Levi, finally ready to take charge of his power. He wants to be proud, to learn how to soar. Also, he kinda can’t graduate from the hero track until he does.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Da’Vinchi  Height: 6 ft 3 in  Style/Aesthetic: Athletic, track jackets, varsity jacket, jeans, basketball shorts, cleans up nice and always has his chain on. Has his ears pieced and one either has a silver hoop, little diamond, or hanging cross. Always has a fresh fade and always clean shaven.  Extras: Ricki is a HUGE sneaker head, the type to stand in line early when a special pair drops, and has a section in his room where some never worn sneakers are on display. He buys really expensive running shoes and has a few custom pairs he wears on special occasions. He’s serious about his kicks. Also he gets manicures with a clear coat so his nails are always on point/clean and he’s best friends with his manicure lady.

PERSONALITY

Positive Traits: charming, outgoing, approachable, compassionate, understanding, hardworking, optimistic, fair-minded, honest, spontaneous Negative Traits: inconsistent, reckless, overly confident, occasional bursts of anger, forgetful    Hobbies: Collecting sneakers, playing sports, he’s a bit of a show off, going to the gym, hanging out/needs to be around people  Habits: forgetful/will sometimes agree to double plans, has a hard time not moving and has a LOT of energy so if he’s still too long you’ll catch him bouncing his leg or pacing. Has issues with focusing for too long and has a short attention span. Over exerts himself.

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius  Temperament: Sanguine. Sanguines tend to be more extroverted and enjoy being part of a crowd; they find that being social, outgoing, and charismatic is easy to accomplish. Individuals with this personality have a hard time doing nothing and engage in more risk seeking behavior.  Moral Alignment: Neutral Good

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

Hometown friends/family friends 

Best friends/Good friends met at NL. Ricki is really social and definitely rolls with a few crews

A ride-or-die. I imagine Ricki has a lot of friends and is friends with almost everyone because he’ll go up and talk to anyone but he needs at least one day 1. I imagine Ricki has a close main crew that has a group chat and acts up together and would love to get a few chars together (4 or 5) to make that friend group dynamic a thing. Bonus: giant text threads hehe

Someone he’s super protective over, he would pull up in a second.

Additionally, someone who is super protective of him.

Others on the hero track he can train with.

A few enemies. I imagine some people think he’s annoying or a bit of a show off, he’s that kid that’s good at most things. Past friends who are current frenemies! Some friendly or unfriendly competition. Ricki doesn’t always feel the need to prove himself but unfortunately he never backs down from a challenge because he’s not a little bitch so he WILL agree to stupid dangerous shit.

People that were close to him when he was taking a lot of painkillers and would recognize a similar shift in his behavior.

Romances. Past flings or partners, someone who has a crush on him, someone he has a crush on, give me all of it! An almost-something-now-nothing. A friend who wants to use him to make someone else jealous but he’s in on it. Your char is his friend and he doesn’t like their partner/he’s your partners friend but your char doesn’t like him! Past lovers to friends, past lovers to enemies (bad breakup, now it’s all attitude). FWB. ALL OF IT. Ricki isn’t necessarily a player but he’s not that committal. He’s the type that comes off as boyfriend material but then forgets to text back and skips dates to train and then wanna act confused when you’re mad. Then he go and buy you ice cream and flash you his smile and you let him inside anyway.

Roommates/apartment mates in the sun building! 

Anything and everything!! Ricki is super versatile.

#ive never hated myself more than in this moment skmdng #nlintro #intro #ricki #nicer to read on his blog bc the headers are orange <3 #addiction // #not exactly but just in case <3 #pinned!

[pbandjesse]

I just got so super tired in the last hour. I don't even know why! But it was an excellent day overall. I felt a lot better. I mean I am still stressed but like. I think that stealed me up for this morning.

I slept. Fine. Getting to sleep was terrible. I cried a lot. I was just so tired but also so upset. I eventually fell asleep. And woke up every couple hours because I was anxious.

I woke up and got dressed and felt very powerful. My outfit was just so good and also my boots were great. Made me feel strong. And very quickly we were off and on the road to the dealership.

On the ride there I quickly got an estimate for our car for a trade in value. I wanted a number in my pocket. I texted with dad. It made me feel a little better to have him hear what the plan was.

And then we were there. Ryan, the dealer, was very nice. He said to take a drive while they got paperwork set up. And it was fun. Also terrifying. My blind spot in this car is very different then the old car. I almost merged into someone! WIth only 7 miles on the whole car! I was a little shaken up so me and James switched and they drove for a while. We did some just driving and checking out about the car. It was fun.

We got back to the dealership and that's when the stupid game starts. I don't understand why cars are sold like this. It almost feels like if it was written in a story it would feel fake. First thing we talked about the trade in. The Camery is 10 years old. Is covered in scratches. Has a dent in the side. Has a torn seat. A wear thing on the dashboard. The ceiling fabric is thumb tacked up. The breaks screach and it thumps when you break. So they offered us $.1500. But I have the estimate number in my pocket. And so with that I was able to get them to give us $3000 instead. And then the interest rate we were able to get down almost a whole percent.

And then!! After we signed everything we went to finalize it with the financial guy and we were able to get a few more extras for discounted. I was super proud of us. There was one issue of me not knowing where the title was. I am sure we will find it here. Just wasn't something I was aware of, I thought the registration and the title were the same sheet but it is apparently a blue sheet somewhere. I think I know what he is talking about but honestly. Not sure. They just ordered a new one. It was like $20. So its all good.

We went outside to take our last things from the Camery and put them in the Crosstreck. A few people were complimenting the car. Felt neat. Ryan took our picture with my instax. Got a kick out of that. We chatted for a few more minutes and then we had our new car. Felt so weird.

We left there and went right to target to get a few groceries and things for camping next week. I called dad and we talked. It was good to hear him. He sounded a little weak but it made me feel a lot more secure. I love him. I don't want him to be hurting.

Once we were off the phone me and James just worked on getting thing things we needed. Including new pillows. But mostly camp foods.

We got pretty much everything. But we would have to stop at our local grocery store as well when we couldn't find a couple things. Ah well.

Between those two stops we got lunch at a diner. The food was excellent and the waitress was really nice. But we both lost a lot of energy. All the adrenilin from the morning was gone. And we were both very tired.

We would go downtown and James would run in the post office to get us postcard stamps so we could get the first batch of engagement cards in the mail. We would go to the grocery store. And then it was home.

We unpacked everything. James put things away. I would work on figuring out what we should keep in the car. We kept to much stuff in there before. I found a cargo net that dad must have had in the camery. So I went to install that. And put our air compressor and some bungee cords and jumper cables and a picnic blanket and some grocery bags. And then I put some stickers on the brand new baby car because I cannot be stopped or tamed.

I would work on some packing for camping after that. James helped me bring everything down and I would reorganize everything so we wouldn't have to worry. I am pretty pleased. I love packing.

I would do a little styling. And working on gathering addresses. James was making us indian food. And once it was done the flavors were great even if the chick peas were a little to hard still. The naan was great.

And then we were making the cards. We had a great system. James printed all the addresses and names on a business card template. So we could just cut them out and tape them on. I would put the stamps on, James would cut tape, I would attach the addresses. It was an excellent system. We have way to many cards but whatever. I am really excited about them regardless. We will just use whatever left over for something else. Save the dates maybe? Just would need to print something new for the back. Or we will just have to many and know better for next time.

I took a bath while James went for a bike ride. And then we would play video games for a little bit. But I was having trouble even keeping my eyes open. So now I am going to go get ready to go to sleep. I hope tomorrow is a beautiful day.

Sleep well everyone. Goodnight!!

[bbq-hawks-wings]

I want to express an unpopular opinion. I hope for your understanding, because such things don't like to listen. Why does everyone think that Hawks is a bird? I couldn' fit my logical arguments into the askbox :( (about how he sits on a pole "like a bird", supposedly likes jewelry and so on). Even his quirk is called Fierce Wings, not a Hawk, not a Red Bird. Do you remember the names of the quirks of Hound Dog and Tsuyu-chan? We haven't evidence to believe that Hawks is behaves like a bird.

I do believe very much he’s a bird, and if you would let me friend, I would love to try and prove it to you because I think the evidence is overwhelming. I’ll make a TL;DR at the end but I’d really like to take the opportunity to perhaps teach others at least one method for literary analysis since it can be a really dry and boring subject to learn in school but is SO useful not only for getting good grades but getting into colleges as well as interpreting both entertainment and genuinely important information like the news, history, laws, and scientific papers. Using fiction - especially such a rich, engaging one like HeroAca - is a great way to try it out without the pressure of a grade. I don’t have the qualifications to teach in any formal capacity, but as a “peer” tutor I hope I can be helpful.

I’m going to put everything under the cut from here because this is going to get LONG, but I promise the TL;DR at the end will be very easy to read. If you liked this sort of unofficial tutorial please let me know. I’d love to help make “academic” skills like this more accessible for those who might benefit from it and enjoy it, but it doesn’t make sense to put in all that effort moving forward if I’m garbage at it.

Before we get too into things, I want to lay out a few notes to keep in mind as we go.

I will only be using the official translations from Viz’s Shonen Jump website when available. Fan translations are more than close enough to casually enjoy and follow the story, but professional translators are paid to know and get various nuances correct and some of the trickier cultural background behind certain phrases (for example, the phrase “where the rubber meets the road” might make zero sense in a foreign language if translated literally, so an equal cultural phrase should be used instead) that give more exact information. Rarely is this too important, but sometimes it helps, plus it supports the source material.

If you’ve followed my blog for a while you might know I’m very fond of doing this kind of thing in my spare time and that I’m a huge fan of YouTube channels like Game/Film Theory, Overly Sarcastic Productions, Extra Credits, and Wisecrack that do this kind of thing with popular media as well. If you like this sort of content, may I encourage you to check them out after this to see how else you can apply these kinds of analytical skills to things that aren’t homework.

My writing style tends to meander, but I do my best to cut out the fat and only include relevant information so even though there’s a lot of information here, please know that I’m trying to be thorough and explain things to the best of my ability. If I seem to go off on a tangent, I’m trying to set up or contextualize information to explain why it’s relevant and then come back to the point. In other words, please be patient and bear with me as I go.

Now, to start, I want to explain at least my method for analyzing a text/piece of media. There is a set order and number of steps to take, and it’s as follows:

Read the material all the way through.

Come up with a hypothesis about something you’ve noticed when reading it. (In this case, it’s “Is Hawks actually supposed to be a bird?”)

Collect as much relevant information as possible and test the evidence to see if it supports the hypothesis we’ve made.

Step back and look at everything again with those points in mind.

Determine if we were right or wrong with the evidence we have.

If we were wrong, go back to step 3 to figure out what fell apart and see if we need to go back to step 2.

If that sequence sounds familiar it’s because it’s the scientific method! Aha, didn’t think we’d be pulling science into all this, did you? Don’t worry, we won’t be putting numbers or formulas anywhere near this discussion - the scientific method is just a way we can observe something and test if what we thought about it is actually true; and it applies to almost everything we as humans can observe - from the laws of the universe, to arts and crafts, to philosophy and religion, and so on! When you think about it that way, whole new possibilities can open up for you when it comes to understanding how the world works.

So with that set let’s (finally) begin!

Steps 1 and 2 are already done. We’ve read the manga and want to prove that Hawks is a bird. (We’re going to try and prove he IS a bird because in the context of the series there’s a lot that *isn’t* a bird and less stuff that *is* which will make our job easier.) So now, we’re onto: 

Step 3 - collect data and see what conclusions we can get just from our evidence.

Now, to pause again (I know, bear with me!) there’s a few different kinds of information and considerations we have to keep in mind as we collect. There are four kinds of information that are important to know about in order to determine if it’s good data that will help us with the testing phase in Step 4. The kinds of information to keep in mind are:

Explicit information - this is information that is directly spelled out for us. For example, Hawks says, “I like my coffee sweet.” and his character sheet says “Hawk’s favorite food is chicken.” That’s all there is to it, and it’s pretty hard to argue with. This is the easiest type of info to find.

Implicit information - this is info that isn’t directly spelled out but is noticeable either in the background or as actions, patterns, or behaviors that can be observed. For example, Hawks has mentioned in at least three very different places his concerns over people getting hurt while he tries to get in with the League:

Chapter 191 when confronting Dabi about the Nomu he says, “You said you’d release it in the factory on the coast, not in the middle of the damn city!”

Chapter 191 again in a flashback with the Hero Commission he asks, “What about the people who might be hurt while I’m infiltrating the League?”

Chapter 240 when discovering how much influence and power the League has gained, “If someone had taken down the League sooner, all those good citizens wouldn’t have had to die!”

Hawks never says in so many words, “I never want innocent people to get hurt under any circumstances!” but the pattern of behavior and concern is consistent enough to form a pattern and clue us in that this is a key part of his character to keep in mind.

Peripheral information - this is information that isn’t directly to do with Hawks or maybe even the series as a whole but is still relevant to keep in mind for his character and the questions we’re asking. This may include extra content that isn’t the “series” proper, but is still an official source like interviews with Horikoshi, etc. but it can go even further. For example, while we try to prove that he’s a bird, we should have some knowledge about what makes a bird a bird, some specific and notable birdlike habits/behaviors/features, etc. This is just to show how wide-ranging we need to cast our informational net.

Contextual information - this will be important when we get to Step 4, but it’s good to keep in mind now. This is when we compare evidence against the broader scope of the series and consider the circumstances under which we find the information. For example, if I told you, “Harry kicked a dog.” you might think “What a jerk! What decent person kicks a dog?”; but if I said, “Harry kicked a dog while trying to keep it from biting his kid.” suddenly it re-frames the story. “Is the kid ok? Why was that dog attacking? Harry put himself in danger to keep his kid safe - what a great dad!”

I’ll go chronologically to make it easier to follow my evidence as I gather and give references as to where I found that information. I’ll go through the manga first, and then any peripheral sources that are either direct informational companions to the series (like character books or bonus character information sheets) and interviews with Horikoshi. Please note the categories these details fall into may vary based on opinion/interpretation, but I did my best to list them out for reference.

Chapter 185 - Explicit Type: Feathered wings - regardless of the specifics of his quirk it’s undeniable his wings are made up of feathers which is a distinctly birdlike quality. There are many mythical creatures and even dinosaurs that also have feathered wings, but this is our first big piece of evidence.

Chapter 186 - Peripheral Type: Large appetite - birds have an incredibly fast metabolism because flying takes so much energy. They’re constantly eating. Plenty of young men are big eaters, but it was specifically pointed out and works towards our hypothesis so we’ll keep it in our back pocket for now.

Chapter 186 - Implicit/Peripheral Type: Fantastic vision - Hawks senses the Nomu coming before the audience even is able to make out what’s headed their way. It could be implied his wings caught it first, which might be the case, but he looks directly at the Nomu and brings Endeavor’s attention to it. Birds have fantastic long-range vision, especially birds of prey that mainly swoop in from high in the air to ambush highly perceptive prey. Also good to add to the pile.

Chapter 192 + Volume 20 Cover - Implicit/Peripheral type: Wears jewelry and bright colors - birds are well documented to be drawn to bright colors and are known for decorating their nests with trinkets. Scientists actually have to be careful when tagging birds with tracking bracelets because they can accidentally make him VASTLY more popular with the ladies by giving him a brightly colored band to the point they can’t resist him! Male birds are also known for having bright, colorful displays for attracting and wooing mates. While Hawks isn’t the only male character to wear jewelry in the series, he’s the only one (to my recollection) that wears as MUCH jewelry so often both during and outside of work. It may not be obvious, but the illustration on Volume 20 is actually an advertisement for his line of (presumably) luxury jewelry. In other words, Hawks on some level is synonymous with style and flair to the point he can make money by selling jewelry with his name on it.

Chapter 20 Volume Cover - Explicit Type: Hawk emblem on the watch face - If the name “Hawks” didn’t give it away, he’s very clearly trying to align himself with more avian qualities if his merch has bird motifs. In other words Hawk = “Hero Hawks” and “Hero Hawks” = bird.

Chapter 192, 244, clear file illustration - Peripheral Type: birdlike posture. Chapter 244 isn’t quite released yet on the official site as of writing this, but when Hawks swoops in and beats the kids to the punch apprehending the criminals trying to subdue Endeavor, his hands are clenched in a very talon-like manner similar to a swooping eagle. When walking with Endeavor in 192, he holds his resting hand in a similar fashion. On the clear file illustration he’s not only perched on his tippy toes in a pose that has been famously called “owling” (remember that trend/meme, y’all?) but his wings are slightly outstretched to catch the breeze to keep from falling over which a lot of birds can be seen doing when they don’t have great purchase on a surface in a place that’s a little windy. The fact that he seems to gravitate to high places like birds are often seen doing might also be a noteworthy indication.

Extra sources:

Hawks Shifuku: Horikoshi describes Hawks as a “bird person” and says that his initial design was based off of Takahiro from his old manga. 

Takahiro’s design:

Current character design: The banner image on my blog was commissioned from a friend of mine who doesn’t follow the series. When I showed her reference images of Hawks, you know what she said? “Oh! His hair is feathers!” Even his eyebrows have that fluffy/scruffy texture to them that his hair has. The markings on his eyes can also be seen on him as a young child in Chapter 191 which means it isn’t makeup meant to tie in a theme or look. He has those dark, pointed eye markings like many birds do. So on some genetic level he resembles a bird.

Step 4: Testing our hypothesis with the gathered evidence.

There’s already a lot of compelling evidence that already closely aligns him to birds which is promising. However, to really prove our point we should try to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt he is a bird. To do that this time around I’m going to see how the series treats people with animal-based quirks and see if it’s consistent with the way Hawks is portrayed.

You bring up Hound Dog and Tsuyu, and they’re fantastic examples. Let’s start with Hound.

He’s pretty straight forward - he’s like a dog. He has a dog face, has dog-like tendencies, and dog-like abilities. Superpower: dog.

And in Tsuyu’s case - quirk: frog, just frog. She’s stated explicitly to have frog-like features, frog-like tendencies, have frog-like abilities, and even comes from a “froggy family.”

So with these two very explicitly animal-like characters the common theme seems to be “If they’re considered to be like a specific animal, they have to physically resemble that animal, act like that animal at times, and have abilities like that animal.” Let’s see if another animal-quirk character matches up and then put Hawks to the test.

Spinner’s quirk is Gecko. Based on our criteria, is he a gecko?

Does he look like a gecko, even vaguely? 

Yes, he’s covered head to toe in scales, and his face is very lizard-like.

Does he occasionally act like a gecko? 

Unclear. We haven’t really seen any evidence of this, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t. For the sake of our argument, we’ll just say no and move on.

Does he have gecko-like abilities?

 Yes! Though most of his abilities are limited to things like being able to stick to walls, it’s still gecko-like in origin and qualifies.

Spinner hits clearly hits ⅔ criteria and our standards seem pretty consistent, so let’s see how Hawks stands up.

Does he look like a bird? 

Not all of his features may explicitly scream “avian” at first, but upon closer observation and with his clear previous inspiration this is a resounding yes.

Does he act like a bird? 

Many of the mannerisms and behaviors he displays can just be chalked up to him being a little eccentric, but with the sheer number of them that also parallel birds in some way this is also a pretty convincing yes.

Does he have bird-like abilities? 

While most of the emphasis is on his wings and what they can do, it does seem that he not only possesses things like heightened senses which could be attributed to avian abilities but he also very much possess high intelligence and incredibly fast reaction times which birds are also known for.

Even if we only gave Hawks a “maybe/half a point” for those last two, he still meets the 2⁄3 that Spinner did. So we have another question to ask: Does a character have to have an explicitly named “animal” quirk to be considered to be/resemble a specific animal? Let’s look at Ojirou and Tokoyami for reference.

Ojirou’s quirk is just “tail,” but he’s been described by his peers and classmates as a monkey and does seem to share some more monkey-like features. It isn’t lumped in with his quirk because the only notable monkey-like quality he possesses is a tail. He doesn’t have fangs or an opposable toe - he just has a tail. For quirk classification as far as hero work goes, that’s the only important thing to note.

Tokoyami, on the other hand has an entire literal bird head, but nothing else. He has a beak, feathers, and even in illustrations of him as a baby he had fluffier feathers on his head. Even with only those details, he just screams “bird!” However, his quirk is classified as “Dark Shadow” because that’s what sets him apart for hero work.

Back at Hawks we see his quirk classified as “fierce wings” but like Ojirou and especially like Tokoyami, the emphasis on his wings is what sets his abilities as a hero apart. Otherwise, he’s just a guy who looks and acts a LOT like a bird.

But astute observers may have noticed I’ve left out a detail that’s more or less a nail in the coffin on the whole matter, so let me ask a question: Tsuyu in particular has something else of note that solidifies in our minds that she is, indeed, a frog - she explicitly calls herself a frog. Could we say the same about Hawks?

Chapter 199 - Explicit Type

Bingo. Hawks has known himself for as long as he’s been alive. He knows his habits, his impulses, his family/genes, and so on. If he calls himself a bird, are we going to call him a liar? In fact, he calls himself a bird not once, but twice!

That’s pretty much it. With the evidence stacked to that degree, I’d be hard pressed to NOT believe he’s a bird.

That was a long amount of text to get through, so if you’re here at the end thank you for sticking out with me to this point. I really appreciate it. This is more or less the process I use when analyzing anything and everything whether it be HeroAca related or not. Maybe it’ll help you if you’ve struggled with literary analysis, or at the very least I hope you got some enjoyment out of it.

TL;DR If Hawks looks like a bird, walks (acts) like a bird, is based on a bird (character), and calls himself a bird, he’s probably a bird.

#hawks bnha #bnha hawks #hawks #hawks mha #mha hawks #she writes #let's talk hawks #bnha meta #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #manga spoilers

[steadytacochild]

vShare Download and install

Having Tons of Engaging Content is Vitally Important

Having a continuous flow of fresh, human-readable text is the best way for your website or blog to gain search engine exposure. Content is King, as they say! It is an extremely important as of search engine optimization. In this manner, Spinbot can be a vital tool for anyone who wants to market their website or product online as quickly and efficiently as possible. With all the unique, quality textual content you could ever want, you will quickly gain legitimate web visibility, both in terms of human readership and search engine exposure.

How can I get rid of these ads?

If you want to remove the ads and captcha requirement, you can purchase a monthly or yearly subscription that will give you unlimited usage through the website. Without greater space to enter and read your content, and no captcha or ads, you can really speed up your brainstorming or writing process.

Harness the power of the Spinbot API

There is also the option to integrate your own website, app or any web-connected software via the Spinbot API (for developers only).

Content Creating Awesomeness

Using Spinbot you can instantly spin, rewrite or paraphrase a chunk of textual content up to 10,000 characters in length (or about 1000 words). 10,000 characters is typically longer than an average website page or freely-distributed article. With a single click you can turn your old blog post or website article into a completely new one, thereby doubling the payoff you get in return for the time and energy you have already invested into creating quality website content. Spinbot is lightning fast as well as free, so there is potentially no limit to the amount of free web content that you can create using this tool.

Other Uses / Applications

You can utilize Spinbot's text spinning capabilities to facilitate brain-storming, or figure out new ways of discussing subjects that you are tired of talking about. This text rewriting tool will instantly provide new ways to update your twitter feed, website updates or blog posts,   vShare. You may also just want to find out another way to say a whole sentence or simple phrase within a certain context. This can be especially useful if English is not your first language, and you want to understand an English idiom. Depending on the context, and idiom could have a wide range of meanings. Be careful!

An Online Marketer's Dream Come True

For many bloggers, twitter users and online marketers this free article spinner is a dream come true. The long, arduous task of gaining search engine dominance in your niche just got a whole lot easier! You can instantly take an old marketing post and paraphrase, or rewrite, it to create an entirely new post. This will ensure that your content stays fresh, interesting and growing over time.

Get New Visitors and Keep them Happy

The simple fact of the matter is that, as an Internet marketer, you need something better than artificial link building and pages of useless, jumbled nonsense to get long-lasting traffic referrals from major search engines (i.e. Google). Google in particular pays special attention to your visitors' behavior. So if visitors are quickly navigating elsewhere because your site is full of junk content, then you will get fewer traffic referrals from Google over the long run.

One Click and Done. No Strings.

Spinbot is a one-click article rewriter that requires no sign-up or registration if you want to use the free version. This software does not spit out "spintax" formatted results, nor does it require you to enter spintax to create newly rewritten content. All you need to do is enter human readable text and you will get human readable text out.

Say "Goodbye" to Clunky Article-Rewriters

There are some "free" article spinners out there that require you to enter your text with properly formatted "spintax" in order to create the end result. But now you need a totally separate tool to create this machine formatted text, so there are extra, time consuming steps involved. However Spinbot does all thinking for you, from taking in the context of every phrase to creating additional textual content that is as readable and meaningful as the text you originally entered.

Other article spinners also require that you enter your own custom synonyms manually or individually approve lists of potential synonyms as they are presented to you. This is another way of expecting you to do most of thinking, as opposed to expecting the software to be smart enough to instantly make judgment calls for you. Thus, one of Spinbot's main goals is to make the article spinning process as quick and painless as possible.

Include Capitalized Words if You Choose

There is the option to rewrite capitalized words (assumed to be proper nouns or titles) as well as leave any number of words unchanged, depending on whatever you enter into the "ignore" field, separated by commas.

Spinbot is simply the best free article spinner on the internet today. It beats any other article rewriting tool on the web, in terms of intelligence, human readability, speed and convenience, hands down, every time.

[drbacklinks]

Buy Backlinks

Dr. Backlinks

There are a ton of approaches to get modest backlinks for your site. You can go to destinations that will pay you for them or get them from any semblance of Search Engine Optimization firms. In this article I will discuss another approach to get modest backlinks, by utilizing gatherings.

In spite of the fact that it’s not actually equivalent to getting them from a Search Engine Optimization firm, the points of interest exceed the impediments. On the off chance that you would prefer not to squander cash on something that may be squandered in any case, why not exploit others’ mix-ups and show them what you’re made of?

The incredible thing about this is that it works the two different ways. However long you have a type of online presence, and are in a situation to make great recommendations, the odds are that some discussion individuals may have the option to allude you to their companions, or prescribe you to their companions, who may have the option to do likewise for you.

Suppose you’ve begun a site selling PC games. You need a backlink to guide your site traffic to your primary site. You may discover discussion sheets which have a ton of gathering individuals who are keen on similar kind of items as yours.

You ought to have no issue discovering discussion individuals with comparable interests. On the off chance that they don’t exist, make one. Maybe sign up, and join and start a string with your subject of decision.

By posting addresses you will check whether there is somebody effectively in the gathering who is keen on the very subjects that you are. Odds are you’ll find a solution rapidly, and it won’t take long for you two to frame a fellowship.

Be cautious however, as not all discussions are made equivalent. Not all discussions have individuals inspired by very similar things. You may locate that a few discussions have individuals who have communicated no interest in similar items as you, and you could be burning through your time attempting to get them to purchase from you.

It’s a smart thought to investigate the individuals and check whether they truly share your inclinations. On the off chance that you have a specialty, and simply like the possibility of new items, you should seriously mull over engaging in the discussion which rotates around your specialty.

You’ll have more decision as far as the items that you will talk about. You can likewise get suggestions from the people in the discussion, and you will get extra connections from different individuals.

You may likewise have the option to get free giveaways to additional lift your openness. They additionally may have the option to acquaint you with new individuals, and the chance is there that they will purchase from you.

Most gatherings will have a “leave me a remark” choice. In the event that you need to leave a connection, it will be valuable to give them your complete name so they can connect with you.

Once more, by helping other people, they will help you. It’s a mutually advantageous arrangement.

13 Easy Ways To Get Backlinks

Site improvement (SEO) can be clarified as the activity of planning, composing, coding (in HTML), scripting, and programming a full site to guarantee you will locate there’s very acceptable possibility that website page postings will appear in web postings for chose catchphrases. There are a few strategies or keys that should be found to viably utilize SEO.

Basic to that seeing, in any case, is actually an acknowledgment of how a backlink functions and how a top quality back connection could be best made. Backlinks are basically interfaces which a site proprietor embeds on different locales. Each connection contains anchor text and furthermore an immediate connection time for the standard site. The best anchor-text of these connections utilizes the site’s catchphrases.

It’s very basic truly… not every person might be #1. Take web composition organizations for example… there is unquestionably certainly no deficiency of them, and they are altogether investing such a huge amount of energy in the SEO to top the positions. Yet, from a colossal number of organizations, just 10 will achieve the main page, and only 1 will probably be inside the top. Furthermore, arriving’s just a large portion of the fight… you should some way or another figure out how to remain there in light of the fact that I promise you that #2 will probably be prepared to grab it of your stuff!

Luckily for you actually, it’s actually much more secure to do than you might suspect. Truth be told, there are various strategies to acquire joins that keep Google’s prerequisites in your brain. These incorporate discussion posts, online media, addressing inquiries for Yahoo! Answers, and others. I’ve discovered that an enduring quality backlink can be bought from joins being remembered for site postings. Surely these are the essential best quality backlinks you can work to your site(s).

Another downside today concerns the way that most of us aren’t adequately keen to know about a couple of the web promoting instruments and furthermore the language which include internet searcher showcasing, directed points of arrival, change devices, contributing to a blog, informal communication and progressed examination. In any case, it’s essential to understand that there are individuals who are completely conscious of all subtleties of these significant devices and they likewise can help you have a very resurgence of business. Because you can’t figure it right without anyone else, you ought to consider how the clever website admin can address each factor of internet advertising, subsequently making certain your webpage shows up high in any event higher on significant web indexes like hurray.

Top 18 Websites To Buy Backlinks In 2020 + $50 BONUS

For the motivation behind why Google tallies your all productive backlinks in light of the fact that the votes cast to remain in the most eminent position of the web index. Backlinks are one from the reasons individuals chase for areas that have lapsed. This is the place where the expert SEO administrations are truly gainful to totally free topics, there are an assortment of areas where these sorts of administrations help organizations draw more customers for their sites, which winds up in extended business. For the most part there are much of the time .edu.xx locales as well anyway they at present have less significance than .edu destinations. Not exclusively would your message be dispersed to numerous individuals who are thinking about finding out about it, by the by, you may deliver the sort of buzz that may bring about more reports (in addition to significantly more openness). Try not to do an excessive number of catchphrases it may hurt your rankings. Bullet point articles are simpler to compose and will in general be suggested as these let you coordinate different watchwords and furthermore focus on them. In the event that you are hoping to buy backlinks modest you will need the url building administrations of Rankers Paradise.

Besides, also it is an extraordinary webpage to offer the Backlinks and bring in cash from the Rankers Paradise site. Guests basically clicking alternatives straightforwardly accommodated your web webpage. Here are sites to make good cause gifts. YouTube Video Marketing – It is a lot easier to get traffic to, and furthermore to rank, YouTube recordings in the web indexes than conventional sites. We can undoubtedly have a rundown of web catalogs on Google or any the significant web crawlers that includes a key term “Indexes”. Prize tip: When exchanging content associations, use key articulations on the grounds that the certified associations. Coordinate this valuable information into quality, unique articles that convey gains to perusers as instructive substance. By adding inward connections focused on your web, build up the possibility of their perusers and assist them with settling on very much educated buying choices. Moreover, you have the capacity to tweak the anchor text which interfaces the site. In the event that your site is filed by Google, you will have the hop, and afterward the page score will make sure about the adaptation office. A crate that shows up at the absolute best of, or around the correct rail (work area just), of Page 1 of Google’s serp’s for applicable questions.

The technique you use is completely your choice alongside the email address subtleties are staggering. Sites which are in everything places don’t make on the grounds that an immediate impact except if they have a real string that goes through the substance that is made. Work on Quality Content: Thin entries are at any rate poo. This is around the grounds which it was rebuffed for inferior quality associations. Sites inside the most prominent 3 pages in the significant web crawlers like yippee like hurray pick up 90% of web internet searcher traffic. I would take traffic from Google over another strategy to acquire traffic about the web, beside traffic got from my articles on different locales, just as that traffic likely comes from glancing in Google. In the menu structure to the url structure and the page’s plan, a decent minor detail may affect an individual encounter. Or then again, they may have you recorded under a dull expression or articulation.

That implies your web webpage can in any case be ordered however streamline it to get versatile as well. In the event that you need to realize where to procure backlinks, you can go to these sites and get the necessary degree of connections for the specialty destinations. This can be a touch and it typically takes some time before you choose to see any noticeable pay. You can separate the earlier and offer positioning of the site by contrasting the report dispersed by them with the goal that you can generally very much want to utilize them. This implies that every single time you have another short article, supporters will get a notice. These are the approaching connections in your blog. Never buy joins from public organizations or PBNs. You can’t utilize them to get a couple of connections. Is it protected to purchase backlinks? You can really utilize gatherings to get backlinks modest. The greater authority backlinks you will locate the greater power your site will presumably be. It will look characteristic and pull natural traffic.

Purchase Backlinks – The Easiest and Quickest Way to Make Money

There are numerous approaches to purchase backlinks to your site. Yet, on the off chance that you need to capitalize on your endeavors, you ought to likewise consider a portion of different methods of purchasing backlinks also.

BUY BACKLINKS

#backlinks seo buybacklinks

[helenalikesbtsnow]

The Ongoing Struggles of Being A Mall Gay (Part 2/3)

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN or here on tumblr below the cut!

Summary: Hoseok works at Build-A-Bear and Yoongi works at the Orange Julius that gives them discounts. Warning for gratuitous overuse of American mall culture.

Part 1 (Tumblr Link)

***

Yoongi listens to rap music. He also really loves Slam Dunk. Hoseok doesn’t watch a lot of anime, or any at all really, but he adores the idea of Yoongi watching a basketball anime. He’ll watch it with him anytime he wants.

Hoseok doesn’t dare ask how old he is, because it’ll shatter the illusion. If he knows how old he is, it’ll only fuck things up. He doesn’t want to saddle anyone with the burden of dating him. Still, he just wants to sit on a couch with him and maybe cuddle him and watch Slam Dunk with him. Is that so much to ask?

Yoongi has started responding to texts in the group chat. This is more progress than they’ve made with anyone else they’ve tried to add to it. People always just remove themselves after a few weeks, so it’s beyond exciting for Yoongi to engage with them. It’s starting to seem like he might stick around and that is the best news ever. No longer six of them, they’ll have a seventh. That’s a perfect number for playing board games. Hoseok has been trying to host a board game night for months, but they all have busy schedules. It’s something that they have to plan for two weeks in advance so that Seokjin and Namjoon, the two who make the schedules, can coordinate.

“Do you like mafia?”

“The… the mafia?” Yoongi asks.

“No, like the game mafia. Not the actual mafia.”

Yoongi blinks at him a few times. “I don’t know what that is.”

Hoseok smiles. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to play.”

“Are you going to order something or are you just harassing my coworker?” Jimin asks him teasingly. Hoseok shrugs. He supposes he could go for a smoothie right now.

“Sure, just make me whatever,” he says. Hoseok likes pretty much all of the smoothies at Orange Julius so he’s not picky.

“Yup,” Jimin says turning around to make him whatever. “Extra fruity because you’re gay.”

“That’s homophobic,” Hoseok says. Yoongi’s ears or heart or face or something turn a violent red. Hoseok is… gay? Which means that he… has the capacity… to like Yoongi? In a gay way? Well this isn’t going to be good for his poor little heartstrings.

Jimin gives him a glare. Yoongi starts to feel like an idiot in this moment. Namjoon and Seokjin: married. Jimin: openly gay. Taehyung: has that personality. Jungkook is… Jungkook. Jesus Christ. All of them are gay. Why didn’t that occur to him? Is he literally a victim to heteronormativity? He was so caught up in the fact that most people are usually straight that it didn’t even process in his brain that they all gravitated towards each other to form a mall family. Because they’re all gay. Wait… if they wanted Yoongi to join their ranks does that mean…?

“Wait – so all of you are gay,” Yoongi states. He doesn’t think that he means for the words to come out of his mouth. They just tumble out of him without his consent.

“Uh, yeah,” Hoseok nods. “Was that not clear?” Now he’s trying to determine what tone of voice Yoongi is saying that with. Please oh please don’t let this beautiful boy be a piece of shit. Hoseok will be heartbroken if someone as pretty as him is an asshole. It’ll break his heart in two. Now obviously, Namjoon isn’t allowed to fire anyone for their moral beliefs or complete lack thereof, but it will make things a little uncomfortable. But then again, Yoongi does work under Namjoon, a very transparently gay man, so if he was a homophobe, you’d expect that to have come out by now.

“Is that why you invited me to the group chat?” he asks. Hoseok makes an “oh” sound. That makes sense. He doesn’t give off any energy at all that suggests towards anything, gay, straight, or something outside or in between. But now that he’s looking at Yoongi, he understands the confusion.

“Oh,” Hoseok draws out the word for a long moment. “You too?”

“I keep telling you!” Jimin bursts out. “We’re magnets for the gays! I don’t know how this keeps happening!” Jimin has noted a few times how peculiar it is that the six of them gravitated together, completely ignorant of each other’s sexualities at the time until they had already been assimilated.

“This just means that Yoongi will stay, right? You’re not going to leave our family, right Yoongi?” Hoseok asks, looking brightly at him. Yoongi blushes and shakes his head. He’s pretty sure he looks like a strawberry right now from how embarrassed he is. Of course he isn’t going to leave their circle, he thinks they’re the most charming people he’s ever met. Especially Hoseok with his cute nose and energetic personality. “Oh my god, is this why we drive away everyone else? Why did that never occur to me, holy shit. Straight people think we’re weird!”

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

“I think it’s because you’re you,” Jimin says brightly. “I wouldn’t want to be friends with you.”

“I think you’re alright,” Yoongi says, and then has a look of sheer panic, which looks good on him in a bizarre way.

Hoseok’s not going to be okay. He’s going to combust from how much he likes Yoongi. Every little thing, ever last tiny thing, it’s perfect. If Hoseok were to create a boyfriend in a laboratory, not only would that boyfriend look a lot like Yoongi, but he’d also act the same. He doesn’t want a boyfriend who’s loud like him, because they’d annoy everyone and drive people away. He wants someone who can get invigorated when talking about the things he’s passionate for but is soft spoken and wise in casual conversation. He wants someone doesn’t sugarcoat their feelings and opinions. He wants someone who’s sarcastic and too smart for his own good. He wants someone exactly like Yoongi.

Also, Yoongi’s got those holes in his ears where piercings go when he’s not at work, and Hoseok is unreasonably turned on by that. Literally everyone he knows has a slew of earrings, but it’s way more attractive on Yoongi than anyone else. He wonders what Yoongi looks like when he’s not at work. Does he look like Jungkook, all black outfits and stomping boots? Or maybe like Seokjin where everything is three sizes too big? He can’t possibly dress like Taehyung who wears prints and styles that can’t ever look good on anyone except – miraculously – him. Call him vapid, but Hoseok cares a lot about fashion, and he just knows that Yoongi must look good in anything. He can make an ugly Orange Julius uniform look good, because he’s got that face, so surely, he must look like a million dollars in street clothes.

Hoseok absently looks over the counter, he tries to be subtle about it, but he checks Yoongi out. His pants don’t flatter him, but he must have toothpicks for legs based on what Hoseok can see. Hoseok could probably lift him, and he isn’t that strong. Jungkook could probably lift him with one hand.

The only problem is that Yoongi is too young. Why couldn’t he just be a few years older? Maybe if Hoseok were in his thirties and Yoongi was in his late twenties it wouldn’t be so bad, but he’d feel like a creep to date someone who’s barely out of their teens or still in college.

Yoongi catches his eye. Maybe he knows that Hoseok is looking. Maybe Yoongi can sense the change in the atmosphere now that Hoseok knows he’s gay. Maybe that’s why the look they share is so heavy. Yoongi shouldn’t be allowed to be that beautiful, yet there he is.

“Oh my god, I have a job,” Hoseok’s eyes bulge and then he turns around to run back to his store, not even bothering to take the smoothie that Jimin sets on the counter for him.

***

Hoseok walks through the definitely not haunted employee entrance of the mall. He has his apron over one arm, because it’s been a little too long since he last washed it. In his defense, he hates supporting the evil capitalism that is coin laundry machines.

He can’t prevent himself from thinking about Yoongi from earlier. This isn’t good news for him. Yoongi is gay, which means that hypothetically speaking, Hoseok could date him. Hoseok isn’t going to be able to scrub his brain of thoughts of Yoongi now. Yoongi might actually let Hoseok cuddle him to watch Slam Dunk if he were to ask, which he is not going to do because then he’d have to face the terror of being in a relationship.

As awful as it makes him sound as a person, he doesn’t want his first relationship in seven years to be with someone who he likes and respects so much. He’d rather get practice on someone who will be inconsequential to him. Then again, he doesn’t want to date someone that he’s not interested in, so he’s come to a standstill. Maybe he’ll just die alone. Ugh, that won’t work, because Hoseok really does need someone to sleep next to him at night, be his best friend, go on vacations with him, fuck him, cook dinner with him, watch movies with him, and have arguments over the dishes with.

He pushes the door open and is exposed to the summer night. The night is chillier than the day was, but it’s nothing you’d need to put on a layer for. The streetlamps lining the mall parking lot wash the world in a calm, yellow light. Someone nearby is having a bonfire or cookout, because the smell of wood burning is in the air, and it makes Hoseok hungry. Maybe he’ll stop by the store and get a nice cut of meat for dinner.

He considers this when he sees a familiar figure standing on the sidewalk a little way down from him. Hoseok approaches him, his face lit up with a faint blue light from his phone.

“Yoongi?” Hoseok asks.

Yoongi turns to looks at him and gives him a half-there smile. “Hey, Hoseok.”

“What are you standing there for?”

“Oh, my Uber is like twenty minutes away still,” he says with a shrug. He turns to look back at his phone like he expects that to be the end of the conversation.

“What? No, fuck that. I’m your Uber driver now. But you don’t need to pay me,” Hoseok says, assuredly.

“No, it’s fine,” Yoongi says, waving off the suggestion.

“Um, yeah. I’m going to drive you. Cancel your driver so that you don’t get charged for it, come on.”

“Hoseok, you really don’t need to-”

“Yoongi, remember when I told you that we’re a family? That wasn’t for show, we really are like a family. I’m not going to have you paying for a ride when I have a car that will take you places. Now come on, I’m not going to argue with you about this.”

“It’s just… we barely even know each other.” At this point in their friendship, that doesn’t even seem like a very accurate statement. They’ve eaten lunch together a few times, and even if it only has been about a month and a half, that doesn’t mean that Hoseok doesn’t trust and care for him. Especially since he’s possibly crazy about him.

“Then we can get to know each other when I drive you home,” Hoseok says. “Are you scared of me? I promise I’m not scary, but if it seriously would make you uncomfortable, I’ll leave you alone. I just hate the idea of you standing out here by yourself, and I also hate making you pay for a ride when I’m here and I’m free.”

Yoongi sighs and looks down at his phone. “Alright.”

“Awesome!” Hoseok says, excitedly. He watches as Yoongi opens the app and cancels his driver, before he gestures for him to follow. “We’re going to become best friends, Yoongi. It’s a requirement. I’m pretty likeable, though, so it won’t be too difficult.”

He turns to look at Yoongi and sees the briefest of smiles on his face, this one genuine rather than put on. Hoseok’s smile is a thousand times wider and brighter than his which makes Yoongi self-conscious.

“We’ve got to go all the way out to the far ends of the earth to get to my car,” Hoseok says, pointing at one of only a few cars left in the lot, which is at the very outer reaches of the mall parking lot. “I can’t even begin to tell you how many parking tickets I got when I first started working here.” He tried bribing mall security, but they weren’t into that, so now he parks where he’s supposed to very dejectedly.

“How long have you worked at the mall?”

“I started when I was in high school, 16 actually. And then I just never left. My first job, believe it or not, was at the Orange Julius with Namjoon. He and I were both just crew members back then like you are now.  But then, when they put the Build-A-Bear in, I knew that was where I belonged. Had to work up the ladder, but me and Jin got the store to ourselves a little over five years ago.”

“So, you’re a lifer?”

“Probably,” Hoseok says, nodding. “I really like my job. I get to stuff bears and make people’s lives a little better every day. There’s nothing in the world like watching a little kid hug the teddy bear you made them for the first time. It just gets my heart beating.” Hoseok is content at this point in his life. He’s not sure if content is really what he wants, but he’s at least happy. Sure, he did basically give up his one true love in this life, dancing, but at least he’s making money and has his best friends around him. That’s enough, right?

“That’s sweet,” Yoongi says. He thinks about Hoseok making him his bear, who has kept his name of ‘Little Hoseok’. The way energy and joy radiated off of Hoseok that day is still just as vibrant now as it was when he was on the clock. He doesn’t stop looking at Hoseok until they finally arrive at his car. It’s a beat-up old thing Hoseok bought secondhand from someone else who bought it secondhand which has somehow lasted all these years despite being old enough to get a license and drive itself.

“What about you, Yoongi?” Hoseok says unlocking the car, which he has to do the old-fashioned way, with a key that you put into the lock instead of one of those magical buttons. Also, the passenger’s side door doesn’t unlock automatically so Hoseok has to climb into the car and stretch across the seat in order to unlock the other side manually.

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

“Um I’ve worked at Orange Julius for about a month now,” he says when he’s able to open the door, and Hoseok smiles, realizing that Yoongi just made an honest to god joke. He’s obviously shy because he doesn’t know Hoseok very well, but he’s happy that maybe he’s coming out of his cocoon a little bit. Usually, Hoseok finds people to immediately fall in with him, but if they’re shy like Yoongi or Jungkook, it can take a little while.

“You’re cute,” Hoseok says casually, and since he’s the one who’s getting the car ready to drive, he doesn’t notice how Yoongi blushes magnificently at that. “Where were you at before you landed here? Tell me your life story.”

“I work at Applebee’s too,” he says. “But they cut my hours, so I had to get a second job.” Yoongi instructs him on where to go as they pull out of the parking lot. He lives right next to Applebee’s, about fifteen minutes away.

“That’s a bummer,” Hoseok sighs, and then looks over at Yoongi. He’s got his seat belt on, which is always what Hoseok checks whenever someone new enters his car, because you can never be too cautious. “But at least you chose the second-best place to work. Build-A-Bear is the best, of course.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi blushes again, and Hoseok notices it this time. “Namjoon is really nice.”

“He’s the best in the world,” Hoseok corrects him. Ever since his crippling crush on Namjoon, he tries never to feel things for his friends. It’s mostly been easy, because none of his friends are really his type. There’s something different about Yoongi, though, which makes him feel a little weird around him. Yoongi has a vibe to him that makes Hoseok’s heart go boom.

“I think the job just takes getting used to,” Yoongi says.

“You’ll be fine. We’re all amazing and I can tell you’re already fitting in. You already have one thing in common with all of us,” Hoseok says. “Jimin is pretty great to work with. He’s my roommate, I would know.”

“Oh? So, you’ve all known each other for a while it sounds like.” Yoongi is desperately intimidated walking into a circle where there are already deep bonds. Seokjin and Namjoon are literally married, Hoseok has known Namjoon for years. Now Jimin is his roommate, he feels like he should’ve known that already. He doesn’t think there’s going to be anyway for him to ever fit in with people who have all known each other for that long.

“Some of us, yeah. I’m always open to meeting new people, but my personality can be a bit much, so people don’t always want to keep me,” he shrugs. Yoongi wants to scoff and tell him that can’t be true, but he hasn’t known Hoseok for very long. He likes how extra Hoseok is, but he doesn’t actually know what other people might think.

“How did you and Jimin meet?”

“Well, I met Jimin in college. We both studied dance and we also conveniently both needed a roommate at about the same time. There was a little while where we literally and figuratively danced around the idea of dating, but we chose not to,” Hoseok shrugs.

“Oh, okay,” Yoongi says, clearly processing his thoughts. What it is he’s processing, Hoseok doesn’t know. He smiles a little bit at the way that Yoongi’s face is so soft. He looks delicate, like if you were to poke him, he’d just fall apart. “You dance?” Yoongi is intoxicated by the idea of Hoseok dancing. He barely knows this man but Hoseok is the most alluring man he’s met in years. Hoseok’s got his hand on the wheel and eyes on the road which means that Yoongi pretty much gets to look at him all he wants. He’s very pretty to look at. It’s very nice being up close to him and this is the closest he’s ever been to him.

“I do!” Hoseok says, laughing. “Jimin’s the successful one, though. His job at the mall is only part time, he teaches at the community center.”

“Do you still dance?” Yoongi looks all doe eyed and cute when he asks. Hoseok looks over at him briefly and wants to just pinch his goddamn cheeks.

“Here and there,” he shrugs.

“You miss it though,” Yoongi says with total confidence.

“I do?”

“You don’t give up things like that,” Yoongi says. “When I left college, I never thought I’d get stuck still working at fucking Applebee’s. I thought I’d be the biggest rapper in the world by now.”

“When you left college?” Hoseok asks, more than a little caught off guard. Yoongi carries a backpack around everywhere. Maybe Yoongi graduated from college really early?

Then again, if Yoongi is working two jobs, where would he even have found the time to have a college career anyway? Does this mean…?

He’s been sure that Yoongi is like 19 tops. Any more than 19 will require a lot of reorganizing in his brain. If he’s out of college that means he’s got to be at least 22? 23? More? “Wait, how old are you?”

“I’m 27.”

“Whoa, what the fuck! Seriously?” Hoseok asks, nearly screeching the car to a halt in surprise. This guy? The guy that Hoseok thought was a teenager? The guy who he was absolutely positive he was older than? Who he thought was definitely too young for him to flirt with? That guy?

“Yeah… how old did you think I was?” Yoongi looks over at him, eyebrows furrowed together. Sure, he’s younger than he looks, but no one has ever had a reaction like this before.

“I definitely didn’t think you were older than me.” It would be embarrassing if he told Yoongi that he thought he was nearly a decade younger than he actually is.

“I think that’s a compliment.”

“You’re actually 27?” Hoseok asks looking at Yoongi again trying to detect a lie. He really doesn’t look like he could possibly be that old. Not that Hoseok should complain. 27 is the perfect age. No, Hoseok, stop thinking like that. His age isn’t the only reason why you haven’t asked him out yet.

“I am,” Yoongi says with a laugh, “Do you want to see my ID?” Now that Hoseok knows he’s not like 6 years older than this guy he looks at Yoongi sitting beside him a lot differently than he had before. He likes the way that Yoongi laughs. A lot. He decides he likes a whole bunch of things about Yoongi now that he’s 27 and not 19. He likes his cheeks, his smile, his eyes, his thighs.

“I thought you knew that,” Yoongi says. When Hoseok glances between him and the road several times, he sees Yoongi blushing.

“You carry a backpack everywhere!” he responds. “I just assumed you were a college student.” It’s entirely possible that he projected what age he wanted Yoongi to be in order to prevent himself from feeling things. He’s not going to let himself think about any of that.

“Well, I’m not,” he says. Christ, Yoongi wonders if this is why Hoseok hasn’t made a move on him yet. Not that he expects him to, but it’s felt like there’s been something there since the day Hoseok stuffed his bear.

Yoongi’s liked him for a lot long than that. Hoseok is beautiful. All of the people he works with are beautiful, but there’s something about Hoseok that just gets to him more than anyone else. It’s probably because of how vibrant and smiley Hoseok is. He’s completely irresistible.

Yoongi bites his lip and only realizes now that they’re on his street. He points to his house and Hoseok, who’s oddly silent, follows his instructions until he pulls into a driveway.

Man, he can’t believe Yoongi has his own little house. He probably rents the place, but it’s still cool to think about living in a house, not sharing your walls with three other apartments. Damn. Namjoon and Seokjin have a house, but that’s because they’re a married couple and married couples are allowed to live in houses. Yoongi living in a house makes Hoseok feel like an even bigger idiot for thinking that Yoongi was so young.

“Thank you for the ride, Hoseok.”

He takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he’s a normal person who’s just talking with his friend. He can do this. “Yeah, any time, honestly. I can also pick you up before work if we have similar schedules too, Yoongi. I don’t like thinking that you have to call an Uber just to get to work.”

“Well, I usually take the bus,” he says. “But it doesn’t run this late, so…” Yoongi isn’t sure why he’s not getting out of the car. Maybe he’s waiting for Hoseok to lean over the gear stick to kiss him goodnight. He knows it isn’t going to happen even as he daydreams about it.

“Thanks again,” Yoongi says after a silence fills the car for way too long. Hoseok smiles at him, and for some reason, his smile doesn’t seem entirely genuine. Yoongi wonders why that is. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong, and yet he feels as though he must have. Hoseok is always so alive and bright. Maybe he’s just tired, Yoongi assures himself.

Whatever the case, he pulls his backpack up from the floor by his feet and opens the car door. If he can’t spend the night with Hoseok than he might as well go spend the night with Little Hoseok.

***

Jimin is beating the shit out of him at Mario Kart. Hoseok can usually beat him with one hand behind his back, but he’s been very much off his game the past few days. He’s too distracted by the bag of chips resting against his thigh to look at the screen for too long. He’s also distracted by the fact that the excuse he made for why he can’t like Yoongi has fallen apart. It’s been very inconvenient for him to recognize the fact that there are no barriers between him liking Yoongi anymore.

Honestly, it was so easy to just assume Yoongi was too young for him. Assuming he can’t is a whole lot simpler than wondering if he can.  

“Did you break your hand and not tell me about it?” Jimin asks, looking over at him.

“Hmm?”

“You suck,” Jimin says, pointing to the screen. “It’s no fun when you let me win. I’d rather you beat me fair and square.”

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

“Oh,” he says, and blinks a few times, trying to invest himself in the game. It’s pushing one in the morning and all he can think about is how Yoongi spent his lunchbreak at Build-A-Bear today. He’s starting to melt into their circle like butter. Even though the store had been busy as all hell, Yoongi still sat by. Hoseok offered to let him sit on the floor in the store, and he sheepishly accepted, just so that he could escape being around people for a little while. Hoseok stood in the middle of the concourse helping to stitch up animals while Yoongi looked up at him eating his food. He looked like a goddamn dumpling and all Hoseok could think of was squishing his little cheeks. Also, he admitted to liking Daily Dog Digest and that’s the most Hoseok could ever ask for in a man.

“Did you know that Yoongi is 27?”

“Yeah,” Jimin says, unfazed.

“What? Really? You knew?”

“Uh, yeah,” he says, like it’s obvious. “Did you not know? Wait, how old did you think he was?”

“I thought… I don’t really want to admit,” he says.

“So does you thinking he was younger have anything to do with why you haven’t asked him out yet?”

“Please don’t do this to me again,” he sighs, putting the controller down because he simply cannot think with all of this Yoongi in his head. “It’s just… I haven’t dated anyone in so long. The last time I had a boyfriend was in college, Jimin. We talked about this a few weeks ago, and it’s starting to fester rather inconveniently for me. You were the last date I went on. You! You and I went on one date and gave up halfway through. Hell, we split the goddamn bill! You don’t split the bill on a date. I don’t even know what it’s like being in a relationship as an adult; I don’t know how to do it.”

Jimin blinks. “So… you see yourself wanting a relationship with Yoongi?” Is that really all Jimin got out of that?

“I’m just terrified of disappointing someone since I don’t know how to be in a couple. I don’t know what to, what to say. I just don’t know.”

“It’s not that hard, you know. Treating someone well is the easiest thing in the world, and you’re already my best friend so I know you can do that part,” Jimin says. “Dating is just like having a best friend, except closer, physically and emotionally.”

“You can call it easy because you’ve done it!” Hoseok says. “My longest relationship lasted for a month.”

“Bottom of the line, Hoseok. Do you like him? Do you want a relationship with Yoongi?”

“That’s what I think about whenever I see him, yeah. He’s completely my type, and he’s so goddamn pretty,” Hoseok thinks about Yoongi’s pretty lips and his neck and his goddamn hands. Also, the small smile and embarrassed laugh he does when you say something nice about him, and the fact that it’s hard to catch him not sneaking sips of iced coffee when he’s at work. “But Jimin, I don’t think you understand how scared I am that I feel this way. I thought I liked being single. But now, here I am, and all I can think about is him. I don’t even know how to ask someone out.”

Jimin makes a thoughtful face. “You could try just asking him?”

Hoseok’s eyes bulge out in terror. “But what if he doesn’t like me back! What if I ruin our friendship and then he leaves the group chat, and then he quits his job all because I made things awkward between us and we never see him again?”

“Did that happen when you and I dated?” Jimin says, giving him an eyebrow.

“Well, no, but-”

“Just ask him,” Jimin says. “Here’s what happens if he doesn’t like you back: you ask me him out, and he says no. You’re both adults who can be mature about it. We went on a date, it didn’t work out, now we’re best friends. You’re literally the friendliest person I know, you’ll be fine. Just ask him out.”

“I don’t know how!”

“Do you want me to do it for you?”

“I’ll cut your balls off in your sleep,” Hoseok says. Jimin just blinks at him, not particularly surprised by this threat.

“I could at least make sure he’s single for you?”

Hoseok considers that. He really is terrified. The feelings he has inside of him are new. College boyfriends aren’t real boyfriends, just like Jimin said. Or at least, they weren’t for Hoseok. Most of his boyfriends were stress relievers between tests when he just needed to fuck something, or he’d pull his hair out. He’s moved on from that life, thank god. His stress levels are actually minimal which is an amazing feeling that he never thought he’d achieve. Yoongi’s presence has made his stress levels heighten back to the days when he had projects and tests due.

What would dating him be like? Does he pay for meals, open car doors, hold hands? The most important of all questions: does he like to cuddle? Christ, he wants to cuddle someone so much. That’s what he most wants in a relationship actually, someone to cuddle him. He wants to be a big spoon and hide under a blanket when it’s cold outside and hold his boyfriend like a teddy bear. Maybe that’s why he has such an addiction to buying bears; he just wants to hold someone.

“Only if you do it subtly.”

“How about ‘when was the last time you got laid?’” Jimin asks. Hoseok blinks at him. “Alright, I’ll workshop it.”

“I will kill you if you fuck this up for me, Jimin.” Hoseok is saying things without consulting his brain first. Caution is being thrown at the wind. Right now, he just needs to get the ball rolling with Jimin before he chickens out and tries to pretend he doesn’t have feelings for Yoongi. Besides, if Jimin finds out he’s not single, maybe that will put his crush to rest. Or even if he is single, that doesn’t mean that Hoseok has to go for it, right?

“So, you are going to try with him? You’re not just going to say you will and then chicken out?”

Hoseok makes a face. Jimin’s words are deserved, but he feels a little like a child, and he’s supposed to be the older one. “We’ll see.”

“I just want you to be happy, Hoseokie. You’ve never acted this way before. You’ve never had an actual crush since I’ve known you. I think it would be awesome for you to have someone in your life. Maybe I’ll even get a boyfriend too, so we can go on double dates. Oh, or triple dates if we invite Jin and Joon.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. If Jimin just opened his eyes a little bit, he’d realize there’s someone who would trip over his own tongue in order to date him. If Hoseok were to date Yoongi, wouldn’t that mean Jimin has to open up about Taehyung?

Maybe they’re both hopeless.

***

Yoongi rests his head on his hand, bending over the counter with the most bored expression conceivably possible. Across the hallway, Seokjin is helping a family with three kids while one of Seokjin’s high school employees is spraying and wiping down the store. It’s almost closing time, but since it’s a Tuesday, the mall is completely dead. Namjoon is the kind of manager, god bless him, who doesn’t start closing the store down until 8:01. The other two managers get ready to shut things down ten minutes before close, but Namjoon is very by the book.

Nevertheless, he has started counting the register while Yoongi daydreams about his bed. He misses his bed, but Yoongi missing his bed is the baseline of his existence.

Yoongi looks over at Namjoon who’s trying to get work done but can’t seem to tear his eyes away from his husband across the hall. It must be hard seeing him all day and not getting to be with him. He supposes that he understands both Namjoon and Seokjin’s perspectives in how easy it would be to fall in love with either of them. They make a lot of sense; you just can’t tell until they’re stood beside each other. Namjoon is a great person when Seokjin isn’t around, but once Seokjin is around him, they both lose most of their braincells and resort to jokes, giggles, and helpless ease. Namjoon is less serious around Seokjin, who is never serious to begin with. Seokjin only gets louder and more confident. They’re the love story that you don’t believe is possible until you see it.

He wonders what Hoseok is like in a relationship. He’s already at a level 100, he might make people go blind if he were to be in a relationship, but Yoongi would like it. He wants someone who’s personality is that bright to counterbalance his tendencies toward laziness. Yoongi’s hand would probably fit very nicely into Hoseok’s. He wouldn’t be the cute one in the relationship, but that’s okay. He’d be able to show off his boyfriend to everyone and they would be jealous of him.

“Can you count this for me?” Namjoon asks him, pointing at coins in the register. He nods and focuses on the coins instead of on the very real hollowness in his chest that soars through him every time he thinks about Hoseok. Yoongi confirms the number with Namjoon and double checks all of his other counting when he asks.

Namjoon starts closing down the register once everything’s counted and Yoongi turns to look around. He already cleaned up everything because they’ve been so slow. Now it’s just a matter of waiting out the clock.

“Namjoon, you’ve been friends with Hoseok for a while, haven’t you?”

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

“Nearly a decade,” he nods, not really looking up from what he’s doing. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” he shrugs. Then he starts to doubt himself. He could just ask… he could just be honest and ask Namjoon what he thinks. Namjoon seems like the kind of guy who can keep a secret. And yeah, he is Yoongi’s boss, but only during work hours. With the number of times he’s seen Namjoon use memes in the group chat, it’s very difficult for him not to think of him as a friend.

“Actually, maybe I do have a reason.”

Namjoon looks up at him. Instead of asking a question, he just gives him an inquisitive look. Namjoon has too much control over his eyebrows.

“Is he single?” Yoongi asks, not bothering to decorate the question.

Namjoon is taken aback. He blinks at Yoongi like he’s a new species of animal that has never been seen before. “He’s very single.”

“What does ‘very single’ mean?”

“That he hasn’t dated in over five years. His life sort of revolves around his job,” Namjoon says. “Do you… well, I guess I mean obviously you do or you wouldn’t have asked. You like him?”

Yoongi nods. “Yeah.”

“Well…” Namjoon considers it. He likes Yoongi, he’s a very nice guy, but Hoseok is obviously his best friend in the world besides Seokjin. But he could see it. Actually, he can see it easily. He can picture a way too loud Hoseok clinging to a quiet, concise Yoongi. They’d be a perfect balance of calm and energy. “You’d certainly be taking on an interesting case. He’s certainly out of practice when it comes to dating.”

Yoongi’s mouth forms a straight line. “I don’t think I care.”

“Well then,” he nods. “You don’t need my blessing or anything, but I think you two would make senses. He’s my best friend, Yoongi. I would do anything for that guy, literally anything in the entire world.”

“So, you’ll kill me if I broke his heart, basically?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

Yoongi laughs. “You’re not very threatening, Namjoon.”

“Fair,” he shrugs. Namjoon looks at him with a pleased expression. Maybe Namjoon actually really does want him to go after Hoseok? Everyone wants their friends to find love, though, right? And if Namjoon says they would make a good pair, well that’s the best he could possibly ask for.

“You’re not going to tell anyone, right?” he asks.

“Of course not,” Namjoon looks almost offended. “Not even Jin. You have my word.”

“Good,” Yoongi nods. “Then I also have another question.”

“Yeah?”

“A little while ago, Jimin asked me if I was single. You don’t think he likes me, do you? Because it’s not that I don’t like Jimin, but I just, like I really like Hoseok, and-”

“Jimin is definitely not interested in you,” Namjoon says. “But in just the same way that I won’t tell anyone your secret, I can’t give you any more information than that.”

Yoongi nods. “I see.” So, if Jimin, the roommate of Hoseok, wants to know if Yoongi’s single that might mean that Hoseok asked him to find out, right? In which case, Hoseok likes him back? Not like that part isn’t obvious. Yoongi scrunches up his face. What is he going to do with this information?

***

“You’re still making music?” Hoseok asks excitedly. They’re sitting at the food court, Yoongi with his Panda Express which Taehyung turned him onto, and Hoseok with a packed lunch, because he’s thrifty.

“Well, it’s not… it’s not good music.”

“Are you a SoundCloud rapper, Yoongi?”

“What? No!” He gets very defensive at the thought of it. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with people who are, but he has big plans. He has big, big plans. He’s not going to be a lifer at Applebee’s or Orange Julius. He’s going to be the next big thing. Well, he’s going to be the next big thing after the next big thing who’s after the next big thing. It’s a work in progress. It’s hard to become a famous rapper when you haven’t even finished a demo tape yet.

“I don’t need to ask you if you’re any good,” Hoseok says, taking a bite out of his food. “I already know you are.”

He blushes, “how could you possibly know that?”

“Because you’re Yoongi.”

Yoongi doesn’t bite his lip. He absolutely does not bite his lip. He looks at his food, messing around with the chopsticks and trying to calm his heartbeat. Why does Hoseok look into him like that?

It’s very unclear why neither of them has made a move on the other. How many months have they known each other? Two? Three? They’re both too stupid to know how to deal with their feelings for each other. Yoongi is a hard person to read, so Hoseok truly doesn’t know if Yoongi feels anything for him. Hoseok’s heart is on his sleeve, there’s no getting around that. Everyone who knows probably knows that he likes Yoongi. But Yoongi talks way more to Hoseok than he does to anyone else in the group so it’s more difficult for him to figure out if it’s mutual. Now Yoongi does of course suspect that Hoseok likes him, but there’s a whole lot of tumblers that need to move into place before you can tell someone you like them. Unless you’re Seokjin in which case balls to the wall.

“I haven’t finished anything yet. I’ve been working on demos for years now. They’re either never right or they’re never finished.”

“Hm, but see,” Hoseok says, “the more time you spend on something, the more you see what’s wrong with it. If you take a step back or let someone else see it – or hear it, as the case may be – they won’t see all the problems that you see.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you want to hear my music?”

Hoseok gives him a look that is almost annoyed. “Um… duh.”

“It’s really not polished or perfect or anything like that.”

“You’re selling yourself short. Have you ever played your music for anyone before?”

“No… or I mean, I guess I played it for a few professors in college, but that was really rough stuff. I’ve kind of tried to erase that from my memory. And computer.” Yoongi went to school for sound design and a hodge-podge of various music production minors. All this is something they’ve discussed before, but he’s never told Hoseok that he’s actually still making music. Hoseok might have guessed it, but there’s something special about Yoongi saying it out loud. Like he trusts him.

“When are you going to become famous and forget me, Yoongi?” he says wistfully.

“Oh, I’ll never forget you.” Well that sounds a little gay.

Hoseok doesn’t notice it, he just grins.

“You’re going to play your music for me someday. Right, Yoongi?” Usually, it’s Yoongi who likes to say Hoseok’s name too much. He can’t help it, Hoseok’s name tastes just right on his tongue.

“Maybe someday…”

***

Hoseok hates waking up before eight in the morning, but here he is, sitting across from Seokjin on a phone call with their district manager. They didn’t meet their sales goal the last month and every time that happens, they have to have a meeting with her, but thankfully, she’s far too lazy to travel to them.

Hoseok is running on a cup of coffee which tastes like the dredges of the old coffee maker that he and Jimin refuse to replace. Seokjin looks like he was pulled out of a sewer recently, because if there’s anyone who is less of a morning person than him, it’s Jin. It’s a mercy that the store doesn’t open before 11 or they probably would have killed each other by now.

“We’ve been working on our DPT, but no matter what bait I throw into the sea, I can’t force the fish to bite it,” Seokjin explains. “We’ve been working with all our associates on this, and I’ve been seeing a subtle increase the first week of this month.”

Hoseok doesn’t speak the same language that Seokjin does. Hoseok makes bears, asks customers if they want to put things in the bears, and gets them all dressed up. Sure, he can define retail terms for you, but that’s not where his expertise lies.

This phone call is a lot of Seokjin talking and Hoseok nodding in agreement which she can’t see over the phone. The district manager complains and they both roll their eyes at each other, because she’s never even worked in a store before. Both of them have literally worked at Build-A-Bear for longer than she has, it’s just that they’ve both turned down any promotions that would land them into her spot. What’s the point of working at Build-A-Bear if you don’t get to literally build bears? That’s like working at a zoo to water the grass.

“What upselling techniques are we using?” she asks like she’s talking to two children. Hoseok is just glad it’s a phone call and she’s not here personally, because she and Seokjin do not get along very well. People that don’t get along with Seokjin are a very rare breed, but it’s happened a few times.

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

They give her the answers she wants to hear. She talks at them rather than to them for another several minutes, detailing the metrics for specific days like they’re both supposed to remember what happened on the sixteenth of last month that made them miss goal. She also tries to single out individual employees which they don’t stand for. Even if their high school employees aren’t their best pals and refused to join the group chat, they are still their hires and their people. Unsurprisingly, she praises Taehyung’s numbers because Taehyung could sell water to a fish.

Eventually they get off the call with her and Seokjin makes an exasperated sound and then puts his head face down on the table. The mall is empty right now and it will be for another hour or so, which is good because Seokjin’s sound echoes throughout the lonely hallway.

“I can’t with that woman,” he shakes his head. “It’s not my fault that the Kang family doesn’t want to spend sixty bucks on scents and accessories.”

“It’s fine. It’s whatever,” Hoseok says. Seokjin has a spreadsheet in front of him looking down at things he’s highlighted. The store isn’t any actual danger. It’s not like missing a month is going to shut them down, but the iron grip of the higher ups gets tight whenever they’re even a few dollars off. They only missed their monthly goal by less than three thousand, which is almost nothing at all. Bureaucracy needs to understand that they don’t have complete control over what customers want.

Seokjin puts his hands to his temples and tries to rub sleep out of his eyes before shaking his head like a dog. “The children have exams coming up.” He often calls their high school employee’s children, because why not? He still sometimes still calls Jungkook a child too. “I got a whole bunch of availability changes which are going to fuck with our hours.”

“It’s not like I have much of a life outside of here anyway,” Hoseok laughs. He doesn’t have a boyfriend, so what’s he really missing out on by being at work? He’d rather be at the store doing something and getting paid for it than to be in his apartment doing nothing and making nothing. Also, whenever he has free time, Jimin pesters him for not coming to the community center to practice dancing.

Seokjin on the other hand has a husband. They coordinate their schedules so that they can see each other as much as possible. Changes in scheduling are always tough on him because of that. This means that Hoseok usually takes on more hours than he probably should, but as has been well established, he doesn’t have much of a life anyway.

“We’re going to need to start hiring for the holidays,” Seokjin says. “I’d like to get four or five seasonal and keep on three of them.”

“Got it,” Hoseok nods. Between the two of them, Hoseok is the one who would better be termed as the ‘hiring manager.’ He’s a good judge of character and tends to see the potential in everyone. It’s a lot easier to hire at Build-A-Bear than it is at Orange Julius, because there aren’t two assholes scaring people so much that they quit.

“I also think I’d like to hire on Yoongi. See if we can’t steal him from Applebee’s.”

“No!” Hoseok says so quickly that he surprises himself. “You can’t do that.”

Seokjin raises his eyebrow. “Why not?”

“Don’t make me say it.” Is Seokjin playing dumb or is he actually dumb?

The two of them look at each other for several seconds. Seokjin’s tired, puffy eyes meet Hoseok’s more alert ones.

“Say what?” Seokjin asks, and it occurs to Hoseok that he might genuinely have no clue. Jimin sees right through him, but that’s because he lives with the guy. Jungkook can also tell, because Jungkook is kind of superhuman.

Hoseok groans, knowing that there’s nothing he can do to avoid admitting it at this point. Yoongi is obviously a perfect candidate for the job. He hates working at Applebee’s, he’s already a part of the family, he has great work ethic, and he’s easy to get along with. He’s a hiring manager’s dream.

He wishes he didn’t have to tell Seokjin, because he’ll give Hoseok endless shit for falling for one of their friends. Now, to be fair, he’ll give Hoseok endless shit for dating anyone since he’s had one boyfriend in the time Seokjin has known him, but that was too many years ago to count on one hand.

Hoseok sighs and looks at a spot behind him. “It would be totally inappropriate for a manager to date one of his employees.”

Seokjin’s eyes open wide. He’s normally a much smarter person than this, Hoseok honestly can’t believe he didn’t figure this out. “You and Yoongi are-”

“No, we’re not. But if he works for us, we won’t be able to, and I need… I need…”

“Okay, absolutely. No hiring Yoongi,” Seokjin says, resolutely, but only because he wants all the dirt now. “How long have you liked him? When are you going to ask him out? When are you getting married?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, and I don’t know. Maybe I’ve liked him since I met him? I just think he’s pretty and funny and sweet and serious in all the right ways.” It’s been well over a month since Jimin reported back to him of Yoongi’s singleness, and Hoseok has done absolutely nothing at all to change that fact. Yoongi should not be single. But also, no one should ever be allowed to date Yoongi besides Hoseok.

“How did I not know about this?” he asks. Seokjin looks fully devastated. How could he, the man who prides himself in being in everyone’s business, not have realized that his own friend, his own coworker, his own godfather to the adopted children he doesn’t even have yet, is in love with one of his other friends? This is just unbelievable. He needs to step up his game. If he doesn’t have gossip to fling, then what is the real purpose of his life?

“Are you in love?” he asks. Seokjin tries to use a tone that sounds teasing to cover up the mild panic he has over that fact that he didn’t see straight through Hoseok in the first place.

“No, of course not!” Hoseok says. “We haven’t even gone on a date. I don’t even know if he likes me. I mean, I think he might like me, but I can’t know for certain. All I know is that my feelings are super legit. Like, I feel serious about this.”

“You having a crush on my husband serious or…?”

“Okay first of all, I knew Namjoon first, and second, no, it’s not like that at all. This feeling I have is so serious it hurts. It’s ‘I feel like I’m going to die whenever I’m around him but I kind of like it’ serious. ‘He makes my ears blush whenever I even think about his name’ serious. ‘I think about him in the shower’ serious.” All of those statements hit home, but probably the shower one goes the furthest for Seokjin.

“Whoa.”

“Yeah.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah!”

“You’re not just going to sit on your tail and do nothing, are you?” Seokjin asks. “You’ve got to make a move. What are you waiting for?”

This is why he didn’t want to tell Seokjin. He doesn’t want to deal with both Jimin and Seokjin knowing at the same time. He could easily take care of their constant pestering him if he were to just go and make a move on Yoongi, but making a move requires confidence and balls, and he’s not sure if he has either.

“It’s scary! What if he doesn’t feel the same way and I ruin our friendship? I’m terrified! I haven’t dated anyone in years. It’s just nerve wracking.”

Seokjin shakes his head. “I asked Joon out like two weeks after meeting him.” Hoseok remembers that. He was gutted. He was even more gutted when he saw how much they were made for each other, in a way that he never was made for Namjoon. He feels differently about Yoongi, because he can look back on the way he felt about Namjoon and it feels very juvenile. It feels like a little kid had that crush on Namjoon. He was basically a kid back then, he was still in high school and had had one boyfriend in his life, which lasted about two weeks.

Yoongi is different. A lot different. His hunger for Yoongi’s words, body, voice – his everything rampages through Hoseok’s entire body. He forgets how to breathe around him.

“I’m not you, Jin! I’m not as confident!”

“Well, obviously. No one is. No one has the right to be, I’m perfect,” Seokjin loves talking about himself and his sentence drifts off until he remembers that they’re discussing Hoseok, not him. “You have to rip the band aid off, Hoseok. Just ask him out. Tell him he’s pretty. Buy him chocolate. You know how I asked Joon out for the first time? I marched on over to Orange Julius, told him how pretty he is, and we went on a date as soon as his shift was over. That’s how you’ve got to do it.”

“Okay, but I’ve already known Yoongi for a few months, so I think it’s a bit late for that.”

Seokjin is more aggravated now than he was on the phone call with their district manager. Seokjin is a punch-you-in-the-face-“that’s life” kind of a guy.

“You just have to do it,” he says eventually. “There’s no pomp and circumstance. Just tell him you like him. Do it however you want. You’ll probably be a fumbling mess and it’ll be cringey as all hell, but you have to. What if Yoongi is your Namjoon? If I was you and I thought even for a second that I could feel the way I do about someone that Seokjin does about his husband, I don’t think I could waste a minute. That’s how I landed the best man in the world, Hoseok.”

“You’re probably right,” Hoseok says, shaking his head. “Yeah. You probably are right.”

***

Hoseok is waiting for Jungkook’s shift to be over so that they can go get noodles. It’s Jungkook’s turn to buy and Hoseok has been waiting literally all day to get some goddamn food in his face. All he’s had so far is a very sad packed lunch and smoothie that Jimin may or may not have spit in because Hoseok ate his leftovers last night. He certainly threatened to spit in the smoothie, but whether he did or didn’t is largely dependent on where Namjoon’s eyes were at the time.

Hoseok is hiding in the back of Hot Topic next to the socks, pretending like he works here which anyone would be able to tell is not true because he isn’t wearing a black T-shirt with a band logo on it. Jungkook, who actually does work here, is ringing up two white girls who very clearly have a thing for him, so Hoseok crouches down because he doesn’t want to deal with them seeing that he is also a very pretty boy. He has girls like that at his store all the time, and it’s very weird being flirted with by girls when you’re building a teddy bear for them. Jimin has the worst of it, because he’s Instagram famous and sometimes gets recognized. Hoseok needs a boy to hold hands with to scare off girls whenever the situation arises. Jimin will do that for him anytime he asks because of their shared problem, but Hoseok also wants to be able to kiss whoever’s hand he holds, and he doesn’t want to kiss Jimin ever.

Staring at the wall of clothes, he wonders vacantly if he would look good in fishnets when a voice from behind him says his name. Hoseok’s entire body clenches and he turns around to see the prettiest boy of them all. He constantly thinks about Yoongi when they’re not near each other. It’s hard not to. He still doesn’t know if he’s going to attempt anything with him, but he knows that he certainly wants to.

“Hey, Yoongi, how are you?” he says, trying to act casual. Why is he trying to act casual when Yoongi is his friend and he acts casual around him all the time? That’s what having friends is like. So why does it feel like this all of a sudden? He hasn’t been avoiding Yoongi, but he certainly hasn’t been seeking him out. It’s been a little over a week since he came clean to Seokjin, and he has very much gotten used to Seokjin’s heavy gaze on him. It feels like the clock is ticking now with two people – and also probably Jungkook – knowing about his crush.

It’s not like things have changed. He’s given Yoongi a ride back to his house twice just in the past week and that hasn’t been weird. A little uncomfortable when he looks too closely at his face and feels his insides melt, but he’s living through it.

But right now, well… Yoongi isn’t in his work clothes right now. Hoseok has never seen him outside of work clothes before, because he would remember it if he had. Usually, Yoongi is in baggy black pants that don’t show off his assets, and he has the signature blue shirt – Hoseok has always wondered why it’s not, you know, orange.

This Yoongi is a breed of creature he was not and will never be prepared for. His jeans are black and way too skinny, with giant holes in the knees, and Hoseok confirms that Yoongi has indeed been walking around on chicken legs this entire time. The rest of the look isn’t intimidating in anyway, it’s just very nice seeing him look like a normal human person who is attractive and knows how to dress. Hoseok nearly has a heart attack when he notices that his piercings are in. Hoseok needs a life alert, because he is about to fall and he will not be getting back up. His heart is going to give out. He’s going to die right here in this Hot Topic because of Yoongi, and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Yoongi!” he says, his voice sounds breathy and he hates it.

“You into stockings?” he laughs, pointing at the display directly behind him to a pair of stockings with cats on them.

Hoseok blushes furiously, and shakes his head, “no, no, no. I’m just waiting for Jungkook’s shift to end.” He points over at Jungkook who is trying to bat off the girls as politely as possible without pulling out a spray bottle.

Yoongi gives him a wide smile. “I know, I was just teasing you.” Something is different about Yoongi today. Maybe it’s because he’s in human clothes rather than work clothes. He seems happier, brighter, more excited. Hoseok is barely able to stay sane being around Yoongi when Yoongi is bored out of his mind at work, so how is he going to handle a Yoongi who’s this sexy?

Hoseok is now self-conscious that Yoongi is here looking like an entire buffet while he’s in black dress pants and a dull white T-shirt. No one wants to fuck a guy dressed like this, and he wishes to god that Yoongi knew he has an actual fashion sense when he’s at home. Not like he ever gets to show that off because he works almost every day of the week.

“What, uh, brings you by?” Hoseok asks.

“Well, I actually work just a few stores down,” he says. Hoseok fakes a laugh that is so plastic that it makes Jungkook turn his head as he’s trying to shoo away the girls. Hoseok wants to bury himself in a very deep grave.

“It’s just- you’re not… I mean you’re dressed a little differently,” Hoseok tries to play it cool, but that mission failed several minutes ago before Yoongi even walked up to him.

“Well I had to buy a few things before my shift started, and I hate walking around like a corporate whore,” he says, and then gestures to his backpack. “I’ll change before I actually have to clock in.”

“Oh, okay,” he nods. “When is your shift? Jungkook and I are getting food.”

Yoongi pulls his phone from his pocket to check the time. “An hour. The bus schedule doesn’t really take into account my own schedule.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he nods. In his right mind, he should be far away from Yoongi when he’s looking this dangerous, but he can’t help himself. He wants all the time with Yoongi he can get, even if it means he just looks at his piercings and exposed knees. “So, would you want to get food with us? Me and Jungkook, I mean.”

“Yeah, absolutely!” Yoongi says, because he was waiting for Hoseok to ask him that since he mentioned food. Hoseok smiles sweetly at him and is saved from trying to form words when Jungkook pops up behind Yoongi. Jungkook is too smiley to be too punk rock. Also, he listens to a lot of pop music. He gets made fun of for his music taste a lot at Hot Topic, but he’s still intimidating because he’s Jungkook and you can even see how ripped he is through most of his shirts.

“I’m off the clock!” He says happily. “Hi Yoongi!” Yoongi waves back at him. Hoseok doesn’t see them interact too much because Jungkook doesn’t work down the hall like the rest of them, but they seem to get along just fine whenever they’re together.

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

“Jungkook, is it, uh, okay if Yoongi comes to get food with us?”

“Sure,” Jungkook says, unphased. Hoseok doesn’t know why he thought he might say no. “Just give me one second to go grab my things,” he says, and then squeezes past Hoseok in the trademark Hot Topic aisles which are way too narrow. Hoseok looks to see that the two girls have left and one of Jungkook’s coworkers who has more facial piercings than Hoseok has brain cells is now manning the register.

If Yoongi is coming along, they’ll have to eat at the food court. He and Jungkook were going to get black bean noodles at a restaurant on the other side of town, but if they were to do that, they wouldn’t be able to get back in time for Yoongi’s shift, and he desperately needs to be near Yoongi right now so that he can fully drink in this look of his. If for nothing else, he needs to engrave pierced Yoongi into his mind.

“Did you have a good day?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah, kind of long, though. Glad it’s over. Er, sorry,” he says, remembering that Yoongi’s shift hasn’t started yet, and the poor guy must be closing if he’s going in at this hour.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yoongi says. He can tell what he’s doing to Hoseok. Hoseok is trying to be subtle about it, but he’s very much checking Yoongi out. And Yoongi knows exactly how to drive the nail into Hoseok’s coffin. “Cool if we go over there? I’ve got to go get some earrings, that’s actually why I came in.”

Hoseok gulps physically and audibly. Yeah, Yoongi had a feeling that would work. Hoseok follows after him as Yoongi goes to look at the display case with all the various earrings. Hoseok’s mouth is very dry as Yoongi crouches down to look at them. Hoseok isn’t okay, he wants a pretty boy with piercings and squishy cheeks and who wears jeans with holes in them. Does Yoongi even know how pretty he looks right now? Does Namjoon know what he’s robbing the world of by not letting him have his earrings in? Hoseok doesn’t feel good.

“Ready?” Jungkook again pops up, and Hoseok startles, both because he’s a scaredy cat, and because he was too concentrated on Yoongi to hear him approach.

“Can you open the case for me to get some piercings, Jungkook?” Yoongi asks, standing up straight again.

Jungkook gives an exasperated sigh, “I’ve already clocked out for the day, Yoongi.” Yoongi pouts his bottom lip. Jungkook isn’t bothered but Hoseok’s lifespan reduces by at least a year at the sight.

“Fine, fine,” he says, and then goes over to his heavily pierced coworker to ask for her keys. He returns and Yoongi points to the ones he wants. Hoseok decides that the ceiling looks lovely this time of year. He drifts off to stand near the doors, trying to recover while Yoongi pays for his things and Jungkook stays to let him use his employee discount, which he’s not allowed to do, but Hot Topic employees ain’t snitches.

Hoseok has to breathe deeply. He can do this. He sees hot guys all of the time, they just walk around the mall. But this is a hot guy who also happens to be his friend, so he knows he likes his personality. Hoseok will be fine someday. He just needs hot tea and a fireplace to sit beside while he grapples with existence.

They meet him at the door and Hoseok smiles at Yoongi, completely disregarding Jungkook’s existence.

“All set?”

Yoongi nods, and Jungkook stares at the two of them with a facial expression that doesn’t have a word. He’s judging them both for their very obvious attraction towards each other. Yet neither of them has said anything, because surely, if they had, everyone in the mall would’ve heard about it by now. Inter-mall dating is a serious topic. That time the girl from the Foot Locker started dating the guy from the Go! Calendars store was monumental. Namjoon and Seokjin are sometimes revered as gods amongst men.

“It’s my turn to buy food,” Hoseok says.

“I thought it was my-”

“Nope, it’s mine,” he says, giving Jungkook a pleasant but evil stare. Of all the people who could find out about him having a crush on Yoongi, Jungkook is the least worrying. Jungkook isn’t going to tease him, he’s Jungkook.

Hoseok looks at Yoongi’s hand as they walk out of the store. It looks like it would be nice to hold. It’s either intentional or pure luck that Jungkook decides to walk behind the two of them. Jungkook just wants to see what will happen.

“How is your demo coming along?” Hoseok asks.

“It’s pretty much the same as it was a month or a year ago, I’m just trying to make it more and more perfect,” Yoongi shrugs. He works on his music pretty much every day, but he’s only one person, so it feels as though every second of every song takes an eternity. Someone who has access to support and money would be able to make something of all the effort he’s put into his music, but he’s literally all by himself in his house doing his best. The only reason he lives in a house is so that he can make music at all hours of the night without neighbors complaining about the noise levels, and that means he has to work two jobs. It’s a nightmare. Maybe he’ll date Hoseok and then he’ll move in with Yoongi, and then they have two salaries so he won’t have to work two jobs, and then he’ll release his solo album and everyone in the world will buy it and he’ll be famous and he’ll show off Hoseok as his date on red carpets. He’s getting a little ahead of himself.

“I’m sure it’s better than you think it is. You know, if you spend so much time with something, you begin to find flaws that aren’t there. It’s like looking at your face in the mirror every day. You see your nose and think, ‘huh, I wish I had a better nose’ but then people around you think you have a really great nose. It’s just that you don’t see it, because you have to look at it every day and you get tired.”

“I like your nose,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok rolls his eyes and nudges him. Not wanting to be the only one on the chopping block, he says, “You, Hoseok, should dance more often.”

Jungkook pitches in, “he’s right you know, Hoseokie.”

“Okay, I dance! I dance all the time.”

“You don’t,” Jungkook says, shaking his head. “Jimin said you never stop by the community center anymore, and it’s not like you’re stomping around on your third-floor apartment, are you?”

“It’s just… I mean,” If Hoseok were a computer, he would need a hard-reset right about now. “I didn’t know I was going to get this sort of pressure put on me today.”

“Come on, how do you keep that kind of passion inside?” he asks. “As an artist, it’s hard to keep your creativity down.”

“I just invest my life and soul into that store,” Hoseok says. “I really, really do. I care so much about my job. I know it’s stupid. People who are married to their job are usually in offices or whatever, and here I am, making teddy bears for a living, but I love it.”

“You don’t need to work so much,” Jungkook says. “You never have days off.” Hoseok purses his lips. He has days off! One a week usually, but that still counts! Right?

“It does seem like you work too much,” Yoongi says. Hoseok really didn’t think he was going to get interrogated on his way to the food court. He spares himself from having to talk about it anymore when the smell of food hits them like a wall. Hoseok uses it as an excuse to jog over to the small food court to give a quick survey of his options. Panda Express, arbitrary not Panda Express but wishes they were, arbitrary burger place, arbitrary healthy option, and arbitrary pretzel place. Hoseok’s feet decide on a burger before his brain does.

He doesn’t check but Yoongi follows him while Jungkook aims his sights on the Panda Express wannabe, because they have better noodles. Hoseok said he was buying, but apparently it’s only Yoongi he’s paying for.

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

“Is there a reason for why you work as much as you do?” Yoongi asks.

“I think I just work in order to have something to do,” he says. The line to the burger place is a few people long so they have a few minutes to talk. Yoongi doesn’t even know if he wants a burger. He’d probably prefer a pretzel. His biggest preference is being near Hoseok.

“You could spend that time dancing,” he says. “I’ve seen a lot of people do dance covers on the internet. I wish you would do something like that. I think if I were to try to keep my love for creating music inside, I’d probably be just… well honestly, I’d be so depressed. I wonder if you ever feel like something’s missing?”

“I really do just spend all of my time at work. Like, all of it. I don’t think I should even tell you how much overtime I put in, because I think you’d choke.”

“You need to relax, Hoseok,” Yoongi says. Maybe you should find a boyfriend. Someone who’s standing right beside you perhaps. “You know you’re going to burn out eventually if you do that for too long.”

“I guess someday,” he shrugs. “I’ll find a good reason to take a few steps back from work.” Like maybe a boyfriend. Maybe someone who’s standing right beside him.

They order their food and find Jungkook at one of the tables on the edge of the room. They usually sit in the same section of the food court if not at the same table every time. Jungkook is already halfway done with his noodles, watching a video on his phone. Jungkook always looks like a little kid when he’s eating, there’s just something about the way his cheeks puff out and he chews in a pout that makes Hoseok want to give him Werther’s Originals.

“Jimin posts videos of himself dancing to Instagram, Hoseok. You should too,” Jungkook says. Yoongi beams, because he just said the same thing!

“Let me see,” Yoongi asks, gesturing to Jungkook’s phone. Yoongi makes a little aw sound in his throat that he hadn’t planned on when he sees Jimin dancing his goddamn heart out in a big studio with a mirror on the wall. He makes a mental note that he’s going to have to download Instagram now.

Hoseok gets very jealous of Yoongi looking at a video of Jimin, because he’s just as good as Jimin. Yoongi should be watching videos of him dancing. Oh jeez, does he need to download Instagram now?

“He’s good,” Yoongi says, not like it needs to be stated. He is a professional. So is Hoseok, but he doesn’t brag about it, and lift his shirt up for the views.

“Yeah,” Jungkook says looking happy, and taking his phone back.

“Let’s all stop trying to convince Hoseok to drastically change his life today, okay?” Hoseok says.

They nod and move onto other topics such as the woman who came into Hot Topic to ask Jungkook what gauge her nipple piercings were and then proceeded to flash him so that he could give her an answer. He hid in the backroom for like twenty minutes, and hissed at anyone that tried to disturb him, which sounds kind of on brand for Jungkook.

“You know, you could always come back to Build-A-Bear,” Hoseok says. “Jungkook 2 has been keeping your apron clean and ready for you.” Jungkook makes a noise, but it doesn’t sound like he’s brushing him off nearly as much as usual. Wow, nipple lady really got to him.

“The worst thing is that this isn’t the first time this has happened,” Jungkook sighs. “Why do… ugh. These people could just ask when they get pierced, you know? They could ask the piercer what gauge it is before it goes in their body. It’s a Hot Topic, we sell anime and heavy metal shit. I’m not a piercer? I don’t know these things. Why would I know these things? I don’t want to see your nipple. And why do they never ask if it’s okay before they just pull their shirts up? I feel like that’s the kind of thing you need all parties to accept is going to happen before you do it.”

“Ah, the ongoing struggles of being a mall gay,” Hoseok says and holds up his drink as if he’s about to toast to it. Yoongi snorts and covers his face, but Hoseok would probably find it sexy anyway.  

***

“This has come out of nowhere,” Jimin says. He’s very sweaty and out of breath as Hoseok finds a seat on the floor of the studio. It’s Jimin’s room every other weekday from 5 until the community center closes at 10. Perks of working here. Jimin gets to earn money teaching and then has several hours of time where the room is all his, and that’s how he managed to get a few hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram, posting videos that Yoongi thinks are amazing. That and because of Jimin’s abs which people are into apparently. Hoseok doesn’t have an Instagram because Jimin intimidates him a little bit too much. Jimin is just too good at being perfect. Hoseok has known him for years and still isn’t sure he can name any of his flaws.

“I’m having an emotional crisis,” Hoseok says.

“You’ve been having an emotional crisis ever since I met you. Your whole life is an emotional crisis.”

“I have not! I’m usually never stressed,” Hoseok says.

“Nah, you just think you’re not stressed because you distract yourself with work,” Jimin says. He takes a very long sip of water and then goes to sit beside Hoseok on the floor. Jimin’s the kind of asshole who smells good when he sweats. Piece of shit.

“Christ, did you guys have some sort of summit? Have you all been conspiring to tell me I’m a workaholic who doesn’t have a personal life?”

“Who said that to you? I need to give them a hug.”

“Fuck,” Hoseok says, resting his head on Jimin’s shoulder. He’s sweaty but Hoseok is in distress so he doesn’t care. He could use someone to cuddle; ideally someone with black hair who raps and has cute cheeks and a sweet little smile.

“Alright, low blow. Talk to me, Hoseokie,” Jimin says, putting an arm around him. “What’s got you so panicked?”

“Okay, so Yoongi and Jungkook basically told me that I don’t make enough time for myself, and that I’ve basically given up dancing because I spend too much time at Build-A-Bear,” he says. He dropped Jungkook off at his apartment an hour ago, stewed in the apartment for that hour staring at the TV without turning it on, and then drove directly here. Jimin’s got another class to teach in about thirty minutes, but that’s enough time to vent. It’s enough time to get half of his venting done, at least.  

“I really hate to be an asshole, but you know they’re right, don’t you?”

“I do know they’re right,” Hoseok says, nodding. He hasn’t been here in nearly a year now. He can’t dance in their apartment, because the floors are just too thin, so it’s been about a year since he last did, he always credits dancing as being his favorite thing in the whole world. There’s a saying having to do with a dancer’s true death being when they stop dancing. His excuse is that he’s been working more and more, but he’s the one who keeps choosing to work more and more. He hates confronting this, but it’s about time he starts. How long is he going to be able to be a happy person if he isn’t doing his favorite thing? He spent many thousands of dollars to go to school in order to be the best dancer in the world and he hasn’t even been inside the goddamn community center in a year.

“Does this mean you’re going to dance again, Hoseok?” he asks. Hoseok picks his head off of Jimin’s shoulder to look at him. Jimin notes that he certainly looks like he’s having a hard time. He’s not crying, but the sadness is there on his face anyway. It’s almost like defeat. The dam can only keep the water at bay when the walls are strong.

“Stay for my class, okay?” Jimin says. “Jump in or just sit here, but you’ve got to stay here. And when the class is over, we can just dance for hours, okay? I think you need that. You’ve got to un-rust these joints.” Jimin slaps at Hoseok’s knee and pretends like he’s going to stretch his leg out for him. Hoseok laughs sadly and slouches further against the mirror. It’s heartbreaking, actually. Hoseok is the brightest star in the entire sky, so his light shouldn’t ever flicker. It’s harder to be near a sad Hoseok than it is be around a sad anyone else, because Hoseok is the first person to cheer everyone else up.

“Jimin, Yoongi saw one of those videos you posted to Instagram,” Hoseok says. “He saw it and he was like… ugh, he looked very into what you were doing.”

“Uh oh, that’s why you’re like this,” Jimin says. “It’s not just because you’re finally seeing sense. It’s also because you’re jealous. We both know that I don’t like Yoongi-”

“Yeah, but what if he likes you? What then, Jimin? You asked him if he was single, and now he’s watching a video of you dancing and being all sexy. You’re his coworker so he talks to you more than me, and also you’re… you’re Jimin.”

“But you’re Hoseok,” Jimin says, saying his name back to him like it has the same gravity as his own.

“Jimin,” he whines.

“Maybe he was just trying to make you jealous. I think it’s possible that he already has a crush on you,” Jimin says. Jimin actually doesn’t know Yoongi that well yet. They’re certainly friends, but that doesn’t mean he can read the inner most workings of his mind like he can with Hoseok. Jimin never works at Orange Julius for more than a few hours, and his shifts usually only overlap with Yoongi’s for an hour at the most. Hoseok certainly does spend more time with Yoongi than Jimin does.

“I hate you,” Hoseok pouts, and then puts his head on Jimin’s shoulder again. He’s thankful the mirror is at his back so that he doesn’t have to look at himself right now. He probably looks pitiful. He’s not the crying, balling on the ground kind of depressed right now, it’s more of a dull, sharp feeling that makes him feel like he’s never going to achieve any of his dreams and also, he’ll die cold and alone. He does not need this right now, he really thought his life was going great a few months ago, but now he’s realizing that he’s missing so many things and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

“I’ve got an idea, Hoseokie,” Jimin says, and the very way he says it makes Hoseok know it’s an evil idea.

“What might that be?” Hoseok doesn’t actually want to know. Jimin’s got a very strong, very defined Slytherin streak running through his veins and it’s best to always be careful around him.

“You said Yoongi liked my video,” Jimin says. “Well, what if we were to post a video of you dancing?”

“I don’t even have an Instagram, dipshit,” Hoseok says. Jimin already knows this. Hoseok doesn’t have the time or patience for social media. He stalks celebrities and dog videos on Twitter and that’s the extent of his social media usage.

“Well, but I have several thousands of people who follow me on Instagram. So, what we’ll do is make you an account, and then I’ll take a video of you on my Instagram and tag you in the video. Then I’m going to send it to the group chat to make Yoongi thirsty and voila, you and Yoongi are walking down the aisle. Simple as that.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Jimin sighs exaggeratedly and then looks at Hoseok for several moments. His head is still against Jimin, and he doesn’t seem to be paying all that much attention. Jimin grabs Hoseok’s phone on his lap. He doesn’t even do it sneakily, Hoseok is just too apathetic to argue. He lets Jimin use his face to unlock the screen and accepts the reality that Jimin is making him an Instagram without fighting him on it. It’s hard to fight Jimin. He’s too cute to be mad at, and also he gets scary when he’s mad.

“Let’s see, password… Yoongisfuturehusband69.”

“I hate you,” Hoseok says, covering his face. “Just because you’re making an account doesn’t mean I’m agreeing to anything.”

“Okay, but we both know that you’re super sexy when you dance. If Yoongi were to see that, I don’t think he could even contain himself anymore. I think he’d fall in love as soon as he saw your bulge, I mean eyes.”

Hoseok punches him in the arm.

“Come on,” Jimin says, standing up. He pulls Hoseok onto his feet which isn’t hard when you’re as lanky and pathetic as Hoseok. “Time to stretch and get ready to make Yoongi fall in love with you.”

“I still haven’t agreed to anything.”

“You will,” Jimin says, sounding sure of himself. When Jimin is sure of himself, it’s best to assume he’s right. Hoseok doesn’t know how he’s going to manage to pull it off, but he’s sure that he will.

***

Jungkook : holy ship

Jungkook : *holy shit

Jungkook : hoLY SHIT

Jungkook : HOLY SHIIIITTTTT

Jungkook’s texts to the group chat come in at about midnight and Yoongi rubs at his temples, sitting in front of his keyboard, looking down at the incoming texts with confusion. He picks up his phone and tries to determine what’s happening. It’s hard to tell if these are good “holy shit”s or bad ones. There are certainly a lot of them.

Read on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

Everyone else starts to ask what he’s talking about before Yoongi has to, so he waits as little dots appear under people’s names. Seokjin is first to ask, and then Taehyung. All Jungkook sends is a link. Yoongi clicks it, because Jungkook is being far too mysterious for him not to be intrigued. It sends him to an Instagram video which he can’t open because he doesn’t have an account or the app. He rolls his eyes. Whatever it is, it can’t be that important. He doesn’t really want to create an account just to find out what Jungkook is freaking out about.

Taehyung : IS THAT HOSEOK?!?!?!?!?!

Hoseok : …

Jungkook : HOSEOOOOKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

Seokjin : Dude

Seokjin : Bruh

Hoseok : …

The dots appear by Hoseok’s name repeatedly, but he doesn’t respond to anything. At the sight of Hoseok’s name, Yoongi immediately goes back to click the link and creates an account so fast that he’s worried he spelled his own name wrong. It takes him the three longest minutes of his entire life to create an account, but he’s finally led to Jimin’s page, the same one where he saw the video that Jungkook showed him. The most recently uploaded video, though…

Yoongi immediately runs out of the spare bedroom he uses as his studio. He doesn’t know why but it’s vitally important that he’s on his bed when he watches this. Once he’s on his bed, lying on his side, trying to mess with the orientation of his screen so that he can see the video as big as it’ll get, he clicks on it and unmutes.

There he is. Beautiful, pretty, sexy, gorgeous Hoseok. Dancing. The music is all beat, no real tune, perfect for dancing to. Yoongi’s mesmerized by it. Hoseok moves like water, but his movements are firm and coordinated. He looks like every bit of a professional dancer as Yoongi knows he is. His clothes are baggy, not at all what he’s normally in at work. There’s no real figure to his body in those clothes, it’s all in the way he dances that shows Yoongi how hot he is.

Yoongi doesn’t even realize the video is over until it starts over again by itself. It’s far too short, because Yoongi could watch this video for hours. He watches it again. And then again and again. Then several more times. It’s probably on his tenth watch that he finally reads the caption. “he hasn’t danced in over a year and he’s still better than me.” Jimin links to another account, which has to be Hoseok’s, only for Yoongi to hurriedly click it to find that it’s a completely empty Instagram. Not a single post, not even a bio. The only thing that gives away it’s Hoseok’s account is the fact that it’s his name and the profile photo of Hoseok which Jimin most definitely took without his permission.

He’ll have time to worry about all of that later, right now it’s more important to watch Hoseok dance several more times. He pushes away notifications from the group chat every few seconds as he watches Hoseok over and over again. Oh god, he is not doing okay right now. He is not well. He’s got a fever or an alien virus. Something is wrong and he needs a paper bag to breathe into.

It’s on the twentieth or thirtieth watch of the video that he realizes that Jimin is literally in the background filming Hoseok. He’s sitting on the floor, visible in the mirror. He also appears to laugh excitedly at one point, clearly having the time of his life watching Hoseok be the sexiest man on the planet. Has Jimin been in the video this entire time? Hoseok literally eats the cameras attention so much that there could be a Godzilla attack out the window and you’d still only notice Hoseok.

Yoongi doesn’t know how Instagram works. He clicks like, and then tries to see if there’s a way to download the video to his phone, because he needs this in his life until he dies. He’s not technologically savvy so all he can do is just follow Jimin on Instagram, follow Hoseok, and then send the link to the video to his email in case he ever loses it for any reason.

Then he notices how many people have actually watched the video and his grip tightens. Thousands of people? The video was only posted like an hour ago. How many of those views were Yoongi? He blushes, and then checks to find out that apparently lots of people follow Jimin on Instagram and a quick scroll through his feed makes it easy for him to determine why. Jimin looks alright without a shirt. He looks more than alright.

So, what are people saying about Hoseok then? Yoongi looks at two different comments thirsting over Hoseok before he decides to turn his phone off and lie on his back. He closes his eyes and lets his phone rest on his chest. The phone has stopped vibrating and he wonders when that happened. How long has he actually been in his bed watching that video? Enough to know that Hoseok probably doesn’t have bones and also is probably the sexiest man on the face of the planet. He whimpers softly to himself. He’s not okay right now.

He opens his phone up again after taking a minute to breathe. Lots of people are thirsting over Hoseok. Too many people. Yoongi’s jaw tightens. He knows that most of these are just horny girls scrolling through Instagram before sleep, but he feels himself disliking every single one of them. It’s not like they have a chance when Hoseok is as bent as a boomerang, but he still feels uncontrolled jealousy. If he didn’t already think Hoseok was the prettiest boy in the universe, he certainly thinks so now.

Yoongi opens up the messaging app again to catch up on all the missed texts. Everyone is freaking out over the video. Everyone’s names appear in troves, except Hoseok himself. They’re all ragingly excited that Hoseok has actually danced for the first time in forever. None of them appear to be excited about his body or the way he uses it nearly as much as they are excited for him to have danced at all. Yoongi can’t say anything about how attractive he finds Hoseok in the group chat. That would be inappropriate and embarrassing.

Yoongi thinks about the conversation he had with Hoseok only a few hours ago, which, now that he thinks of it, surely is the cause of this video’s existence. Yoongi and Jungkook maybe put the pressure on him a little too hard, but this is what happens? He goes out and posts a video on Jimin’s account of himself dancing? They must have really gotten through to him. Hoseok wanted to prove to them that he could still dance, and that he hasn’t lost a single one of his skills even in all the time he was away. He certainly achieved his goal.

Yoongi whimpers again. He doesn’t know how to respond to the group chat but he knows that he has to. Everyone else is proud and happy for Hoseok, and yet he’s been radio silence for… fuck, it’s been over an hour since this all started.

He labors over it, trying to contain all the excitement and desire he now feels. He’s going to watch the video for a lot longer and then wait agonizingly hoping that Hoseok posts more videos to his own account. Yoongi’s heart will probably give out, along with thousands of girls, but Yoongi’s broken heart will hurt the most.

Yoongi : Wow. Just wow.

It only takes a few seconds before Hoseok’s dots appear. Yoongi holds his breath. Hoseok responds with a smiling emoji and that’s it. It’s his first correspondence all night. Yoongi wonders if the video was posted specifically for Yoongi to see it. He closes his eyes and puts his hands over his face again. Yoongi scoffs. Jungkook doesn’t even know the meaning of “holy shit.”

IF YOU ENJOYED PART 1 & 2, LEAVE A COMMENT ON ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN AND SUBSCRIBE TO KNOW WHEN I UPDATE. I’D ALSO LOVE IT IF YOU REBLOGGED THIS POST OR FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR SO THAT MORE PEOPLE WILL GET TO SEE MY FIC. THANK YOU ALL, I LOVE YOU

#jhope #hoseok #yoongi #suga #sope #yoonseok #yoonseok fanfiction #yoonseok fic #yoonseok fanfic #sope fic #sope fanfic #sope fanfiction #suga fanfic #suga fic #suga fanfiction #yoongi fic #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fanfiction #hoseok fic #hoseok fanfic #hoseok fanfiction #jhope fic #jhope fanfic #jhope fanfiction #hoseok x yoongi #yoongi x hoseok #bts suga #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts

[alternativewinxcontinuity]

What are you planning to do with the Winx earning Enchantix in your rewrite? Will the Omega arc be included?

The fine details are subject to change until the season is finished being written but I can give you a vaguer outline of what's happening, the Enchantix are pretty entwined with the plot but for the most part, there are similarities from the canon. The one I've changed the most is Bloom, who is actually earning her Enchatix rather than 'Main Character privileging' her way to a half assed form.

Season three (The very abridged edition) spoilers below (the plot points mentioned are the ones that affect the Winx and their Enchantix

Enchantix Master list:AishaGuest FairiesStellaMusa + Guest FairyFloraTecnaBloomWinx's B-teamFinal Word

Life or death situations and discussions there of:

Aisha gets her Enchantix is a similar way to canon, but the context is changed by the fact that when she set out to rescue her aunt, she set out to rescue her aunt and the other survivors, there was no intention of finding the Coral Sceptre to restore her eyes.

The chance to heal herself is a there and dismissed moment, part of a larger “I'm doing what I have to for my people, I'll worry about myself later” moment. It's a more quiet sacrifice, and one that can easily be passed by, but it felt more true to the girl that climbed Darkar's fortress by herself and tried to punch a magical force field down.

It's also less... I don't know if forced or contrived would suit better, but the fact that in the show she went specifically for the thing that she had to give up only to get what she was after all along... it doesn't sit quite right in my head sometimes?

-

Nova got her Enchantix when she agreed to stay behind despite the obvious danger to herself, but I didn't say so explicitly in the text.

Next to get her Enchantix is actually the first to get her Enchantix, special guest star 'princess' Varanda of Callisto. (She'll be joining the team on Solaria for a bit.) Her earning is left at a vague 'I made the right choice to stay on Callisto instead of attending Alfea, some shit went down, now I'm Enchantix.' (off screen back in season 1)

-

Stella is up next, and her Enchantix is a little more than canon, but also some of the same focus. With the ritual interrupted, Solaria is suffering an instability, and while some people are doing what they can, it hasn't been enough because Valtor was using the instability to make a play for the Second Sun of Solaria. To do that he needed to weaken it to the point where it was itself becoming unstable.

So someone has to fix it, and as the Heir of the Sun, that someone is king Radius, freshly freed from Cassandra's grasp. Stella steps in with a screw that, because more than her duty to her people, is her love for her family and she's not going to let her father die, even if it kills her. She makes the potential sacrifice so her father won't have to. Unlike the show in which Stella 'ran out of magic' and desperate-act! threw herself in front of her father, this is a deliberate choice she considered to be the best option. (This is also where Stella picks up her extra Transformation (Cosmix/Astralix) which will come into play later.)

At About this time, the Winx split their party further as they realise that Valtor is trying to collect powerful artefacts and spells and go to warn various people.

-

Musa travels home to Melody to speak with the royal family, expecting more resistance, only to find princess Galatea recognises her from the concert several weeks prior. Having been at the concert and having seen Musa in action, the princess is prepared to give Musa the benefit of the doubt and the duo set of to ensure the Magical McGuffin of Melody is secured. When they arrive they find suspicious activity and discover Valtor inside. Both Galatea and Musa give their all, Galatea thinking of her people, and Musa thinking of her friends and all those she'd seen suffering as a result of Valtor's return, both know they cannot back down, and both decide their lives are nothing compared to what they're trying to protect. (It is one of only a few very rare instances of multiple fairies earning their Enchantix at the same time.)

Since the girls are still on break, it didn't make sense to send them back to Alfea just for the Enchantix, and given that Galatea was prepared to die to protect a legacy (the Alfea Library), that pays off this time. Musa refusing to back down in the face of danger though is very her, so I just adapted that to the new location.

-

Flora on the other hand has called Helia, whom she recalls mentioning during a double group hang out knows princess Krystal. Helia is with Saladin when the call arrives, so he understands that Flora's not messing around, and agrees to make introductions. With Helia by her side, Flora is able to convince princess Krystal that things are dire, and she in turn tells her parents. Then while the adults are taking care of things, Krystal and Flora perform a convergence type spell to vibe with the planet and locate any trouble that might be Valtor. They locate the Trix by an Ancient Tree known as the Black Willow, this is bad but it will take time for a task force to get mobilised, so Flora and Krystal head out to scout the situation. On the way they meet up with Miele who has noticed the plants feeling troubled and gone to investigate. Flora tries to play the big sister card, but Miele gets her way, so the trio go on. Obviously they end up fighting with the Trix and Miele goes into the water which has Temporal properties. And Miele can't swim. The Trix realise they won't be getting what they're after and take off.

Flora's Earning is more personal than combative, her sacrifice isn't some greater good, it's her sister. Her sister will drown if she does nothing, but if she jumps in the water it will cause a reversal of time in her, stripping her of everything she has become and she still might not make it to Miele which Krystal reminds her of before Flora can dive in.

But it's her sister so of course she's going to try, Flora shoves Krystal away and dives after Miele.

In canon Flora went to save her sister and then... chose to stay behind and drown? Maybe? It felt a little unclear what she thought she was doing, but it seemed a little dumb and completely avoidable, so I'm making the stakes a little more clear cut and relevant to Flora's character arc. Alt Con Flora's sacrifice is the willingness to give up everything she has become, every piece of character growth, every memory she's made in order to save her sister. Unlike the other Winx, Flora's sacrifice is about one single person, no added bonus of saving the world. (“Besides, if I can't save one of my most important people, if I'm not willing to even try, what the hell good am I as a Fairy?!”)

Flora's Enchantix happens, mystical Tree shenanigans ensue and everything is fine, Flora finishes at Lynphea and heads back to Andros to regroup.

-

While on Andros a few b-plots happen and the Winx get a call from the Magix guard who questioned them after the big wave, just to touch base and see if they had any more information on the situation. Through her, the Winx realise the Museum of Magix might be a target and split the party once more to go see about some security measures.

Tecna stays on Andros with Musa and Flora, while Aisha goes with Stella and Bloom to Magix. Aisha's just been told about the engagement and is pissed because the middle of a crisis is neither the time nor the place and it's not okay - even if it was the time or place - for them to engage her without asking, so she wants some breathing space.

The reason the girls split is because Tecna has been working with some other folks to see if they can fix the problem with the Tidal Gate (the forced connection to Omega) which has been warping the energies of the area and making combating the bad guys way harder than it needs to be.

You can probably guess what happens now.

-

Tecna leads a team out to the Tidal Gate to close it, the way the Gate was forced open from Omega damaged the Gate. Omega doesn't have an Ocean Gate, it is completely cut off from the system, and more, Omega devours magical energy not native to it, which is basically everything. The Trix show up as the team begins to close the portal to screw things up.

They manage to take out most of the team, leaving Tecna to try to finish closing the portal by herself or release the half completed spell. They ran the numbers, they hypothesised the risks, logic tells her to stop and try again under better circumstances, but Tecna feels the energy flow.

She knows that the numbers and calculations of risk were wrong, if she stops now, if the portal isn't closed, the damage to the Tidal Gate caused by the backlash of this attempt will ensure the forced connection becomes irreversible. The natural protections around Omega that make it the perfect prison also protect the rest of the Magical Dimension from the world's effects, and the portal has none of them. The Tidal Gate will effectively become a black hole.

Logic tells her one thing, her instincts tell her another. Tecna trusts herself and calculates the best way to close the portal alone, able to see that the Trix aren't going to let up. She realises she'll have to close it all the way back along the path, back to the other end on Omega. Tecna sends a goodbye message to her friends over the comm bracelets and dives into the portal, fully expecting to come out the other side dead.

In a way Tecna's Enchantix is the closest to canon, and again there's more of a deliberate choice even though there's no choice at all. The only issues I really had with the canon version was that it called into question the die hard rules the canon set for Enchantix, and it took so long for the gate to act up that it was obviously contrived, the girls have had enough time in canon to go back to school and do several other side quests things. It felt like it only happened so Tecna could get her Enchantix, "the Enchantix is the cause the portal is the result" rather than "the portal is the cause and the Enchantix is the result".

In the Alt Con the whole season takes not very long at all, it's very much an on going issue, very much a crisis. So the biggest change here was just trying to make it more natural.

Since Tecna left a message, the Winx know exactly what she's doing, understand why she's doing. They also know this means she'll be popping out on Omega (potentially dead) and they decide “bugger that for a joke, let's go get our girl”, and make plans to take The Sparx to Omega to find Tecna.

(Seriously everyone but Timmy giving her up for dead/lost when they knew where the portal lead and how to get there was DUMB!!! and done only so Timmy could score shipping points I s2g.)

-

The Team on Magix were joined by Ophir and they discovered the Museum had already been robbed, and Bloom is getting 'proximity sick' because Valtor is still on planet, Aisha discovers Ophir is Nabu (her surprise fiancé) who explains “parents will parent” and they get over it and decide to try dating once the crisis is over.

Shortly after Tecna's message, Bloom gets the very strong sense that something is wrong with Daphne.

Bloom tells the others to go get Tecna while she goes to check on Daphne, the Winx try to argue but Bloom reminds them that Tecna will need all possible help if she's going to stand any kind of chance of surviving (if she's managed to survive the portal).

(Bonds of friendship mentions re:finding a single fairy on a hell planet is why they don't call recovery experts who may already be busy with the Valtor Crisis, and no one is crazy enough to willingly go to Omega. Also Stella's new Space Form is the only thing that's going to get them back out of Omega.)

Bloom puts in a call to Alfea on her way to Roccaluce, and finds Griselda and Faragonda are there trying to organise help for Andros and a way to find and stop Valtor. Bloom tells them what she's been sensing, and they promise to meet her at Lake Roccaluce.

Bloom Arrives first to find Valtor has summoned some kind of freaky ass shrine and has Daphne somehow pinned to it. Valtor seems confused by Bloom's presence, but determined to finish what he's doing, so Bloom tries to free Daphne who's in intense pain.

Daphne explains that Valtor is trying to pull Daphne back into the corporeal world, that he's using a device that will keep her alive if he succeeds in returning her... but he'll also try to take the Vault of Domino which Daphne has in a subspace pocket, and worse, he'll have the Crystal of Power Kiko had accidentally stolen form Relix. There's some back and forth and light, almost combat, and Daphne says that Valtor is way more insane than last time they met, and Valtor reveals that if Bloom wants to free Daphne, she'll have to destroy the device holding the spectral fairy, which would kill her super dead, like no more ghost dead.

If Daphne dies the vault will be locked, lost forever, out of Valtor's hands. But Daphne will be Dead.

If Daphne is restored to life, the vault can be forced open and its contents taken. But Daphne will be Alive.

Daphne and Bloom have a heart to heart and Bloom sees not just her big sister who loves her more than anything, she sees Crown Princess Daphne, Leader of the Nymphs of Magix.

Faragonda and Griselda arrive just in time to shield Bloom as the young fairy destroys the device.

Bloom's canon Enchantix gain was dumb, the idea that it had to be a person from one's own home-world was dumb, especially when Tecna saved hers by proxy of saving the universe. It was done to show what a special princess Bloom was, it wasn't even a “the Dragon Fire Privileges” thing, it was an "MC privilege" thing. Let's Be Honest.

Alt Con Bloom manages to earn her Enchantix fully, in the most horrific way of all the Winx, because Bloom's sacrifice was Daphne. The chance to get her back, to save her, to hold her, the chance to ever learn anything from her again.

It mirrors her interactions in Stella's Enchantix, where Bloom had to let Stella sacrifice herself to save solaria, but in that instance all Bloom had to do was stand aside and do nothing (except hold back bad guys), and she never truly believed that Stella wouldn't come back.

In Bloom's Enchantix she takes an active role with hard line consequences she has no reason to doubt. There are two horrible options before her, one of which could have turned out good maybe if they were implausibly lucky, but Bloom has to weigh the options and do whatever has the best outcome for the most people, even if it sucks for her. (It's what Daphne wanted, but that doesn't make it easier.)

-

Diaspro and Mirta won't be getting their Enchantix this season. Diaspro is going to be facing a “die or be used to hurt your people again” situation and “would rather die thanks”, and Mirta... I would like for her to have a similar scene to episode 311, where she tried to shield Lucy (only it was an illusion) because I feel like she got robbed in canon when that didn't earn her an Enchantix (because on noes, fake!Lucy! so it doesn't count).

-

The thing I think is the most different between the Alt Con and the Canon Enchantix is that the Alt Con isn't something you can luck into. Canon felt very “I reacted and luckily my Enchantix”, where as I'm trying to add an insinuation in the Alt Con that the sacrifice needed to earn the Enchantix is... not necessarily deliberate, but definitely a choice. Fairies, by nature of who and what they are often making sacrifices and give of themselves for others, typically as a reflex ie. jump in front of someone with a shield to try and catch a spell. Not every selfless act of sacrifice earns an Enchantix or there would be far more of them. Enchantix is earned when the stakes are high and a fairy has to face how far they would go, deliberately make the choice.

One other note: Fairy Dust and Miniaturisation, once earned can be used from any form, it's just trickier.

#Winx #winx club #Winx Alt Con #Winx Alternative Continuity #Enchantix #I GOT AN ASK! #Asking Alternix

[wayfront4]

7 Soft Skills You Required To Achieve Occupation Development.

5 Ways To Get Fit In 3 Months │ Benenden Health And Wellness.

#toc background: #f9f9f9;border: 1px solid #aaa;display: table;margin-bottom: 1em;padding: 1em;width: 350px; .toctitle font-weight: 700;text-align: center;

Content

Why My Personal Trainer Is Worth It.

Why Is It Essential For An Individual Trainer To Collaborate With Clients To Agree With Objectives And Also Goals?

Five Means Fitness

Just How To Come To Be A Fitness Tutor (2020 Update).

Choosing The Right Personal Trainer.

Layout Your Own Program.

Level 3 Personal Trainer Diploma.

See listed below for an annotated work summary from Sports Direct, one of our corporate companions, and also what an interviewer may ask you pertaining to the advert. When it involves including muscle to your framework, you need to ensure you're giving your body a lot of time to rest between stamina training sessions. Doing the same amount of workout day after day can hinder healing and also cause you to shed muscle in time.

Can I get in shape in 3 months?

If you're serious about getting fit, choose an exercise you really enjoy and carve out the time for a regular workout. Stick to it for three months and you'll reap the rewards, be full of energy and feeling great.

Most of all, your early questions to a customer are to guarantee their safety and security. Think about the info you need to know prior to planning a fitness program. Connection building is one of the most important component to being a wonderful personal trainer. Customers just buy from individuals they like, as well as who they feel engaged with. Just as, don't claim that you intend to use this work to develop skills in order to have a desire job with a straight competitor.

This implies they should be experienced, thoughtful as well as responsible with ambiguity in the workplace. While it is certainly a valuable ability to closely follow comprehensive instruction, it is also necessary to be able to establish what it requires to accomplish the desired end result. Finding work/life balance is important to maintain motivation in your task.

Why My Individual Trainer Is Worth It.

I just wore a polo shirt and blue jeans, I was offered a job withinin half an hour of the interview. This is vital info, so you understand what to anticipate after you leave of the interview area door. If a 2nd meeting is pointed out, make certain you recognize when you must listen to back by.

As alluring as it may be to distinguish yourself from other candidates, do not tell a hinge on your meeting that could come back to haunt you if you get the work. Whether it's knowing just how to utilize a certain software application or experience with a social network's ad system, a lie could harm you if the truth appears later on. You have restricted time in your meeting to make a great impression, so utilize the moment you have to speak eloquently and thoughtfully. Self-confidence is a big part of preparedness, as well as the duty you're interviewing for will certainly most likely need you to be decisive and also positive so you can obtain things done. So don't say you fidget-- it will probably make youmorenervous, as well as it will not do you any kind of favors with your recruiter, either.

If this is true for you, make sure to show this to the job interviewer in your story. Tell the recruiter about exactly how stress or tension can motivate you to really buckle down, focus, and work vigilantly to obtain projects done. To provide a good solution to this question, you ought to supply instances of exactly how you have actually dealt with anxiety in the past as well as just how it's made you a much more effective worker. Recruiters ask concerns similar to this since they need to know just how pressure impacts you as well as what you do to manage it.

Speak to clients at active times on reception to completely involve with them. Offer cost-free suggestions and check up on gym-member that appear to be battling. It is additionally music to an interviewer's ears if you state that you want to go on a sales/marketing program to improve these skills if you are not solid on these areas. Much like taking notice of your responses and way of speaking, paying attention to your body language and also disposition can bring wonderful benefits.

Even the most flexible people can have trouble dealing with others that have certain characteristics or personality traits. Having good team effort skills likewise implies having a solid recognition of just how you deal with others as well as ways you can readjust your technique to far better offer the company. An occupation in the fitness sector can be what you make from it, yet it makes sure to be enjoyable, flexible as well as fulfilling regardless of where you work or who for. Whether you like functioning outdoors, inside, a team setup or solo, there are a variety of settings within the fitness industry to fit.

Why Is It Important For A Personal Trainer To Work With Clients To Agree With Objectives And Also Goals?

You ought to not overlook medical recommendations, or delay looking for medical suggestions, due to something you review in this website. If this is an obstacle for you, focus on getting little exercises in throughout the day. If your work takes the majority of your time, think about taking 3-10 minute breaks and also stroll at moderate intensity, where you damage a little sweat as well as are somewhat short of breath. Taking these breaks are not only great for physical health, but also for mental health. This indicates that your body has actually come to be made use of to the task you have actually been doing to drop weight.

5 Method Fitness

If you truly want to see results reflected on the range and also remain to make development with time, you require to dedicate to working out at the very least four to 5 days weekly. This is especially so if the quantity of time you're placing in doesn't compare with your objectives. Linda Le Phan is the Senior Material Advertising and marketing Manager atkununu United States, a location where work hunters can obtain an authentic view of life at a business and also where employers have a relied on platform to much better involve ability. When she's not developing material regarding the modern-day workplace, firm culture, and also life & work hacks, she is most likely heading out to get an iced coffee, raiding the treat cabinet, or obstructing to kununu's Spotify playlist.

they line up well what you shared on your resume, as well as shows preparedness in case a recruiter does not have a copy. Whether you're interviewing to flip hamburgers or run a country, turn up dressed to excite. While a fit is no more the only way to dress well for meetings, it is still a great go-to in most circumstances. To be lean muscle gainer , ask the firm before the day of your meeting what their dress code is or do a bit of research study on your own regarding proper meeting clothes for various scenarios. At the end of the day, however, It's always, always better to overdress than underdress.

Just because you think of a prepared a specific response does not automatically indicate the answer is the best one. You do not intend to be captured by shock by a concern and also do not have a decent answer. If you lack experience, researched points so at least you can discuss the topic.

If you aren't contacted by then, be sure to ring up and also ask why you weren't successful and also how you can boost your possibilities for next time. This is an excellent question to ask to gage your working problems and also to see how your toughness would certainly profit the business. It will additionally make the company restate your formerly pointed out toughness, which will stick to them through the employing process. Constantly seek the guidance of your medical professional or various other qualified health care supplier. Constantly consult your health care service provider prior to starting any type of new treatment, or if you have any kind of inquiries regarding a health problem.

Prior to you leave the meeting, deal to give the recruiter with any kind of extra details they need to make their choice. Added details can include a list of recommendations, a copy of your profile or a duplicate of instructional and also expert certifications. " Many thanks so much for your time, I truly delighted in finding out more regarding you as well as the firm." " My greatest weak point is public talking, something I haven't had several opportunities to do in my existing function, so I'm hoping to expand on those skills dealing with a bigger group at this firm."

Is Personal Training Profitable?

If you learn how to sell and grow a big business, you can usually make up to $25–35/hour in those situations. So, if you aren't good at marketing and sales, it's not profitable. If you ARE good, and you're a good trainer, you can make as much as you want with the right clients.

The most remarkable prospects regulate their need to fill up every area with impulsive answers as well as hesitant "um" s and also "uh" s. When asked a question, take a moment to think through your response or identify an appropriate story and after that start talking. The pause is great as well as it also reveals your capability to be tranquil as well as made up.

If they do smoke, ask if they 'd fit sharing how many cigarettes per-day they smoke. Obviously, you ought to constantly encourage your client to give up cigarette smoking for their health, yet this can be a turn-off to some clients, so choose meticulously just how much you wish to harp on this. Rest can have a significant influence on achieving fitness results, so you'll need to know just how much sleep your client enters a normal evening in order to help them.

Our bodies are clever machines and also come to be really efficient gradually when the exact same activity is executed. Weight lifters should do reps per muscle of their selection, and the weight made use of differs based upon your fitness degree. You are much less likely to utilize amateur language throughout an interview when you decrease, take your time to consider your action as well as concentrate on talking plainly. You can additionally prevent using filler words by practicing changing them with a quick time out or deep breath.

Individuals picking an as soon as a week routine will certainly require to carry out work on their own as well as can not anticipate to reduce weight without technique.

If you are comfortable with your regular and feel as though you do not require even more training, an as soon as a week training may suffice for you.

These sessions are normally shared with two to 4 other individuals working together under a similar program.

Lots of people that select to deal with a trainer will certainly select an as soon as a week meeting.

If we think about the function of education and learning, accreditation and also certification, we recognize it as a means of quality control.

Various other people value the organized atmosphere that having a personal trainer produces as well as pick to train with them forever.

For instance, you may assume you need to meet your trainer 5 days a week to lose twenty pounds, for an extensive duration, yet in truth, a couple of sessions weekly for a month or more is possibly adequate.

Commonly, people that select this kind of training currently understand just how to make use of the equipment effectively and also understand how to exercise properly.

The length of time with your individual trainer will depend upon a number of various variables.

Several fitness professionals pick the sector to avoid a desk-based work and also have the capability to move as well as remain on their feet. With the rise of the health as well as wellness trend in Australia over current years, fitness is at the leading edge of more Australian minds and service is surely thriving as well as readied to remain to follow this pattern for fairly some time. If you're considering a career in fitness, the bright side is your future can be loaded with excitement, adaptability and financial rewards with a lot of chances to expand as well as establish an effective occupation. Help work hunters learn more about the firm by being objective and also to the point.

How To End Up Being A Fitness Tutor (2020 Update).

Free Courses & Certifications Take courses on the most recent company trends, instructed by sector professionals. Client Assistance Get help if you have questions about utilizing HubSpot software application. If you can be made up as well as offer examples of how you take care of anxiety, you're practically assured to provide an effective response. Do not state that you don't function well in difficult circumstances or mention a time when you could not do your work effectively since you were burnt out.

Do excessive, as well as you take the chance of overtraining and also shedding your hard-earned muscle. On the other hand, if you do not up the strength as well as put the moment in, your muscle gains will be minimal.

If you're not getting muscle as rapidly as you like, you could be dealing with the feared plateau. When you educate the exact same body parts with the exact same exercises as well as amount of weight over an extended time period, there's a good chance your body will certainly quit responding. Finding the right equilibrium of cardio exercise as well as strength training is key when it pertains to placing on lean muscle.

Obtain our complimentary digital book guide of example responses as well as professional interview suggestions emailed to you now. For example, if you have a client who wishes to lose 50 extra pounds yet operates at an inactive desk work for 10 hours per day, after that you're mosting likely to require to amp-up those exercises to make certain maximum calorie and also fat melt. On the various other hand, a client who works as a building employee is already getting more exercise throughout the day, to make sure that ought to be thought about when identifying the best fitness plan. An additional way of life information that you should find out about your customer is whether or not they're a cigarette smoker.

Your recruiter has actually listened to every one of these in guide, so do not try to fool them into believing your "greatest weak point" is anything but an unique ability on your resume. It's alright to not recognize the response to an inquiry, but don't leave it at that!

Attempt to make the inquiries look unrehearsed as this will produce a far better impression of you. You require to show a little of character as well as your story in order to make your response credible.

Selecting The Right Personal Trainer.

Check out on the internet fitness publications so you positively know what hot trends are arising. The fitness world stays one that is rooted greatly in trends and, yes, fads. Whether cardio kickboxing or bootcamp training is the warm thing, studios require to satisfy customer demands or they likely go somewhere else. Not all fitness workshops accommodate people that desire hardcore workouts. Neither is every fitness center wanting to educate individuals who aren't thrilled concerning working out also hard.

How Can You Become An Individual Trainer In Just 6 Weeks?

Providing a response such as this could make the recruiter believe that you won't connect to your employer, also if there's a trouble you require aid with. As an example, if component of the work summary is servicing multiple jobs at once, claiming that you have anxiety attack when you have to handle numerous tasks at the same time is an excellent way to make on your own look poor. Do your best to stay clear of stating that you were emphasized by a scenario that you'll on a regular basis run into at the work you're interviewing for.

Exactly how to Respond to" What Is Easy Fit Personal Training " With Example Responses The blog offers the information required to plan for an interview where the general meeting concern "What is your biggest accomplishment? can be asked. If this is the weakness you are presenting in a meeting, discuss the success you have actually located adhering to instructions yet additionally your occupation capacity when locating convenience with uncertainty. You ought to also explain the steps you are taking to define your day when given ambiguous tasks or goals. Lots of tasks need candidates who are comfortable individually defining tasks and working in the direction of objectives.

When you have actually safeguarded a position, consider making use of company administration software application to track clients, courses showed, etc . Ask for a trial of our All-In-One Fitness Service Management Software today.

Speak to the other personal trainer straight and listen to their sight. Recognize factors of contract and dispute and also prevent routing blame. A recruiter will want to find out about something that actually tested you here. You could have had to find out a brand-new modern technology, or overcome challenging issues in a tough amount of time-- it has to do with exactly how you approach adversity as well as how you conquered it.

She likewise has greater than 15 years of experience training as well as advising supervisors at organizations from American Express to the City of New York City. This candidate has some wonderful teaching fellowship and also part-time experience, but she's a new university grad and doesn't have any type of permanent placements to discuss. She has a great deal of self-confidence and has the ability to concisely sum up how she satisfies the position's leading needs. This solution is a little bit basic as well as can probably be more reinforced with instances.

Personal Trainer Work Summary: What You'Ll Do.

Make sure your solution acknowledges a space in your understanding in a way that still provides you authority. easyfitpersonaltraining.co.uk can provide a solution like, "It's challenging to hit goals when leadership top priorities are constantly changing," but honestly, we don't advise claiming anything that could be regarded as an individual minor. If you're mosting likely to toot your own horn, see to it you have some data or evidence to back it up. Any person can claim they excelled in a previous function, yet numbers or instances will make you attract attention to your interviewer.

Where do most personal trainers work?

Personal trainers typically work in gyms and health clubs. They are self-employed and can also open their own fitness studios. Personal trainers can get creative and work almost anywhere.

While it is definitely respectable and also reveals a solid work principles to spend your energy and time on job, it is also necessary to focus on resting, taking place trip, spending quality time with your family and also taking pleasure in hobbies. Doing so can assist you really feel rejuvenated when you go to work and can raise inspiration, creativity and sustain a favorable expectation.

For optimal results, a workout program should consist of cardiovascular as well as stamina training workout. This permits you to raise your metabolism and melt calories at a greater price, also when you're not working out. How much weight you lose depends upon the quantity of workout you want to dedicate to and also exactly how carefully you stay with your diet regimen.

Design Your Own Program.

A lot of grownups require in between 6 and also 8 hrs per evening to function at their top; if your client isn't getting adequate rest, your very first examination may need to include discussing some methods to improve sleep. Your customer requires to comprehend that the hours they'll invest in the gym won't indicate much if they're not looking after themselves in your home. Run those responses by individuals you trust such as a customer or fellow trainer.

Level 3 Personal Trainer Diploma.

Personable responses that respond honestly will constantly trump reading from a manuscript. Nevertheless, if you were nervous concerning any one of the questions you could obtain, try out a couple of these methods. If there was one thing to look out for, it would be time restraints. You can not bring all of your clients to the table, so select your ideal ones, and also make certain you can talk about them in detail if questioned.

How many personal trainer sessions do I need?

Fitness Goals For example, you may think you need to meet with your trainer five days a week to lose twenty pounds, for an extended period, but in reality, two to three sessions per week for a month or two is probably sufficient.

#Easy fit personal training #Training the easy fit way #About us Easy fit personal training #easy fit about us #customer charter easy fit personal training #easy fit personal training customer charter #privacy policy easy fit personal training #easy fir personal privacy policy #contact easy fit personal training #easy fir personal training contact #benefits of a personal trainer #personal trainer benefits #training aylesbury #workshop training aylesbury #skill training aylesbury #training waddesdon #workshop training waddesdon #skill training waddesdon #training wendover #workshop training wendover #skill training wendover #training tring #workshop training tring #skill training tring #training halton #workshop training halton #skill training halton #training thame #workshop training thame #skill training thame

[lowishigh]

20 Things I accomplished in 2019

I thought 2019 has been the shittiest year of my life. But then I thought about it again, this time thinking a little bit harder, and realized that it isn’t so terrible after all. It’s been a year of growth and transformation. Yes, it came with a lot of pain. I mean A LOT OF PAIN. But now I look back, it was worth the ride and I feel nothing but grateful for everything I went through.

Here are the 20 things I think I can really be proud of or content with accomplishing in 2019:

1. Work out regularly

This was my number one goal for 2019. I didn’t believe that I could persevere, especially not with exercising, but I actually made it a habit and I feel so much healthier and stronger now. The best thing about working out regularly is that it helps me to reduce stress and feel a lot more positive about my body. Most importantly, I’ve decreased my body fat percentage by almost 5%!

2. Overcome a breakup

I ended a 2.5 year relationship with someone who I really once believed that I could love forever. I got dumped with a really shitty accusation through texts and I wanted to kill myself when it happened. I didn’t think I could recover from it at first. I begged for that person’s love and another chance to show him that I can be good enough for him. In the first two weeks I couldn’t eat and felt numb most of the time. But gradually I regained my strength with the help of my friends and by focusing on working and engaging in activities. I found my inner peace and started to examine this relationship from different perspectives. The more I reflect on it, the more I understand that it wasn’t meant to be and I’m blessed that he at least was decent enough to let me go so I can have the opportunity to meet the next person who’s got what it takes to build a healthy, mature, and happy relationship that I deserve with me. This experience was priceless and I’ve learned so much from it. I feel like I know myself and what I want/need better now. And this grounds me for getting ready for a relationship that’s worth my best energy.

3. Undergraduate diploma

In fact, I’m not particularly proud of this but I still spent five years working on it and life could be a lot harder without a diploma so I still want to put it on the list to sort of celebrate it. It’s also for acknowledging the fact that I’m not a student anymore.

4. Let go of an unrequited love

This is a weird one, I know. How could I possibly be in love with someone else for over a decade while feeling like I was drowning in sorrow because of a breakup?

It dates back to a long time ago and we have a long history. I’m not gonna go into it but this person has always been really important to me and he always will. We missed each other multiple times at different stages of life because of a lot of things we weren’t in control of. And I had always wanted to tell him how I felt but never found the right timing nor the courage to do it. So it was a big step forward that I finally did it this summer.

I’m so glad that I did it and am even happier about our friendship growing stronger after having a brutally honest conversation about everything. I’m also really relieved because now I can really move on and stop wondering about the “what if”s. I’m forever grateful for the purest form of love he had displayed to me in the past and the continuous support he offers whenever I need it. Cheers to a lifelong friendship and honesty!

5. Scuba diving license

It was an exciting adventure and made me realize that there’re still so many fun things out there I want to explore and experience. I also got to see how beautiful my country is and spent some really wonderful time with my friends. Through getting this license, it really empowered me to get out of my comfort zone and feel excited about the unknown. This means a lot to me also because my ex boyfriend held me back from trying scuba diving in the past for his own fear of getting deep into the sea. I felt like in a way I was shaking off the chains he put on me when I finally got my license. It meant freedom and independence. 

6. Made new friends

2019 has always been a year full of new friends. These new friends expand my worldview and pour in fresh ideas to my mind. It’s amazing to review how many new people I have met this year and how much I have learned from each of them. I also received so much love and care from people who barely knew me but were generous and kind enough to offer help, support, advice, and guidance. I’m thankful to them for showing me the best side of human beings and I want to do this for others, too.

7. Reconnect with old friends

New friends are indeed fresh and exciting but catching up with old friends always makes me feel extra blessed. Especially with international friends, you never know when and where you’re gonna see each other again the next time, so it’s for sure the best feeling when you get to hang out together again. I’ve had several opportunities to do this with some old friends I made overseas this year and I’m truly grateful for this. It’s never easy to maintain contact with people far away from you but I always try my best. 

8. Travel

I love traveling and compared to the previous years, I haven’t done much traveling in 2019. But I’m still super glad that I got to spend 2 weeks in London and a week in Portugal this year. All the places I visited were amazing and worth revisiting. Moreover, London truly inspired me to do anything I can to move away from Taipei so I won’t feel stuck constantly. It’s a pity that I didn’t make it to Vietnam or New York like I planned to earlier this year. And I might not get the same luxury to travel so much like in uni as I have work responsibilities now and less money to spend freely. But I will definitely still try to do a trip or two every year in the future!

9. Joining VO1SS Taiwan

I came across this opportunity by randomly scrolling on Facebook. I got introduced to the founder and got the position of editor in chief of VO1SS Taiwan right away. It’s always really encouraging when people tell me that they immediately see my potential and think my personality is suitable for taking on an important role. Although this is an unpaid job at a non-profit organization, I truly appreciate having this opportunity to work with passionate and driven people with the vision of connecting people around the world together with a digital interactive media. I’m constantly learning about what it means to be a good leader in this role and I’m so grateful of all the advice and feedback I get from my teammates. 

10. Showing up for my family during the toughest time

We’ve had plenty of ups and downs this year in my family. When unexpected things hit, the only thing you could do is stick through it with your loved ones and react in the calmest, most reasonable way possible so you don’t hurt even harder with the train wreck. Each of the challenges was super tough for me but I did my best to show up for everyone anyway. I’m not saying that I did everything perfectly, but I did what I could do and what I thought I had to do to offer help and support. Most importantly, I also had to hold myself together and lower the impact of these things to my mental stability as much as possible. It really was very difficult for me and for everyone. Through these hardships, I learned that there’re always gonna be things that you have no control over in life and it’s okay to not always know what to do. It’s scary as f*ck which is why it’s important to have a strong support system and safety net with people who truly care and can offer good advice.  

11. Becoming aware of sustainability and cruelty-free

I started paying more attention to the harm of over-consumerism to the environment and also to our peace of mind after watching the documentary film “Minimalism”. I took a good look at how I was living, how much unnecessary purchase I made, and how much waste I produced obliviously over the years. So I decided to change my habit of consuming and reduce the harm of it as much as possible. I’m constantly looking for affordable, environmentally friendly, and cruelty-free products. I think twice before buying anything now. I’ve stopped spending money on things because I “want” them but because I truly “need” them or see the value of them. 

12. Listening to podcasts

For some reason, podcasts never really interested me up until this year. More and more friends around me told me that they’re listening to podcasts and each of them recommended something that they really love listening to. That’s how I got into the world of podcasts and I find a lot of the contents up there really informative and helpful. Now, instead of music, I sometimes listen to podcasts on health, spirituality, and language/culture learning during commute and shower. It has certainly opened another window for me to absorb knowledge and connect to the world. 

13. Doing online courses

Another thing that I really got into this year is online courses. Ironically, when I was still a full-time student, I could never really finish any online courses because learning was a mandatory thing. Now that I’m working, I find learning such a luxury and I’m loving every second of sitting down and learning something new for a couple of hours. I’m also really glad that I pushed myself out of the comfort zone to take the courses that contain some math and science which had always been something I was so afraid of in school. I even started learning how to code which is absolutely something I would never have imagined for myself a year ago. It feels really good to know that I can learn anything and that there’s no limit in learning. When I feel stuck in life, going back to learning always makes me feel alive again. 

14. Becoming  more responsible and careful with money (investment in funds)

I’ve never been so stressed out about money in my life like this time right now. I’m earning very little and don’t have much extra money to save up. However, I made up my mind to save as much as possible regardless of how little the amount might be. 

15. Discover my passion in public health

I was very lost, resentful, and disoriented when I graduated from university. It suddenly struck me that I was way too naive and didn’t seize the opportunity to better prepare myself for the challenges and predicaments in the world of harsh competitions, low salary, and limited choices. Meanwhile, a few things also changed my mind about working in films. For a very long time, I’d always thought it’s something I wanted to do, and losing grip of that left me in a very confusing situation. Luckily, through working on a project related to healthcare and medical services, I discovered that public health is a field that has a lot of potentials and interests me in various aspects. I felt like I have finally found my calling in life and it sets my purpose and direction for the future. 

16. Finished two scripts for short films

Despite my decision of not working in the film industry after graduation, I still want to continue writing stories and creating because it’s always going to be my passion and I believe in the power of storytelling. I was very lucky to have the opportunities to finish two scripts, although one of them wasn’t made into an actual film at the end. The creative process of writing scripts and shooting the movies really reminded me of how much I enjoy presenting a story visually.

17. Livestream talk show

Over the past few years, the idea of running a YouTube channel has crossed my mind several times. However, I never really persisted because I didn’t find a certain theme or topic of which I had so much to talk about. Starting this livestream talk show with my friend was indeed exciting for me because having someone on the show that can interact with me and exchange ideas with is much more interesting than recording content by myself. I wish to start doing podcasts in the coming year. 

18. Switch to a more positive way of using social media

A lot of people believe that a “social media detox” means that you have to be completely off it to regain your inner peace. This method is doable for some people, but definitely not for the majority of the population. We’re way too engaged in the Internet and the culture of media, after all. But there is an alternative solution. Earlier this year, I checked all the accounts I was following on social media and deleted the ones that simply did not “spark joy” for me anymore. I used to follow mostly accounts that feature fashion, beauty and celebrity news that encourage consumerism. After deleting the accounts that only made me feel that I was lacking of something instead of feeling inspired, encouraged, and educated, I started focusing on the contents about health, spirituality, and self-improvement. Right now, whenever I go on social media, I can always expect to learn something or get inspired. For me, social media isn’t a source of anxiety and depression anymore, quite the contrary, it introduces so much positive energy to my life every day. 

19. Healthier sleep routine

I used to have difficulty going to bed and getting up early. I used to always tell people that “I’m not a morning person”. But now I can really appreciate the beauty of morning and the benefits of starting a day early. I stopped staying up super late and I feel much more energetic throughout the day. I can make better use of my time and get more done in the daytime. This change of habit helps me stay focus and on track in life. I finally don’t feel like an irresponsible teenager that feels tired and lack of purpose despite sleeping 10 hours a day. 

20. Cut my hair short 

This is something that I’ve been wanting to do for many years. I didn’t do it because I wanted to avoid fights with my ex and I was afraid of other people’s opinions on my haircut. So I just kept sticking to what I’m used to. This November, I finally made up my mind and cut my hair short and I absolutely love how I look now. It’s like a ritualistic thing to do to say goodbye to my past. And I’m really glad that I made the decision purely considering how I feel about it, not anyone else’s opinions.

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

oooh I’d definitely like to see mick and xander for the character sheet thing!

Alright! I’ll do Mick on this one and a separate one for Xander.

Dotted orange text is category

Numbered bold text is subcategory (ie. favorite food and favorite color under Favorites)

—————

Name: Makana Kaya Birch

From: Broken Record and Creating a Rift (my Teen Beach Movie fanfictions)

Age: 16 (Broken Record) and 18-19 (Creating a Rift

Appearance: Brown hair, just past shoulder blades. Brown eyes with a green ring. Wears mostly shorts and t-shirts in her world, but wears more dresses and play suits in Wet Side Story.

Preferences:

Sexuality: Straight

Favorites:

Food: Tacos

Color: Red

Animal: Octopus

Weather: Snowing. She visited New Hampshire with her parents for Christmas one year and fell in love with snow.

Season: Summer

Time of day: Afternoon/Evening

Music: Beach Boys

Foods they will/will not eat.

Will: Pretty much anything.

Won’t: Chili and yogurt. (Frozen yogurt is fine, just not regular yogurt)

Religion: The attend church, never said which. It’s up to the reader.

Political Beliefs: Independent. (She chooses whoever seems best, not by their status as either a Democrat or a Republican)

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Personality: Empathic. Laid back to an extent, but mature enough to know when to be serious. She has a good head on her shoulders and has high hopes for attending a college in Florida, the other side of the country.

Family:

Parents: McKenzie Phoebe Birch, née Ellis, and Brady Aaron Birch

Any siblings? No.

Family life:

What was it like growing up? Pretty nice. Mack was the more serious one and Brady was the more laid back one. They evened each other out enough for Mick to have a simple, yet loving childhood.

Anything from childhood that affects them in their present state? Being taught to surf at only 3. Her great-grandfather (Mack’s grandfather) teaching her that communication is important in relationships. Her parents making her watch Wet Sode Story all the time and listen to their stories about being there.

Discipline as a child? If she got in trouble at school/at home she was kept from surfing, dancing and listening to music. If she got grounded for any reason, she was kept between home and school along with the aforementioned discipline. Getting low grades was never something Mick worried about, but her parents knew that if she got a grade lower than a C, she would get a tutor, but that was all.

Rich, poor or in between? In between. They weren’t rich rich, but they had enough to not worry about money much. Due to Mack being a professor and Brady creating new technology along with taking over the surf shop, they were well off.

Cultural history:

Any affects? Not really. She is French, Italian and a touch Scottish. Mack and Brady taught her that she was no different from anyone else and that skin color/cultures don’t mean you can treat/be treated by others differently.

Traditions? Visiting her Mom’s family back in New Hampshire every other Thanksgiving. They visit Australia to surf every year. Brady’s family will take the family for a vacation every once in a while.

Flaws

Overthinker. Mick takes things apart bit by bit until she’s come to her own conclusion, whether it be right or wrong.

Too straight forward. She has no filter to keep things from going directly from her mind to her mouth. Sometimes, she’ll catch herself, but other times, what she’s thinking will make it’s way out.

Over emotional. I think we’ve all seen her overreact to things like the whole journal thing and the idea that Butchy might drop her for someone better.

Wants

Attend a college.

Get married, maybe get a dog.

Visit England and maybe Japan.

Help her dad make new kinds of surfboards.

Needs

Family time.

Medication (EpiPen and inhaler).

Love, both familial and otherwise.

Pictures of cute animals.

Fears

Heights.

Alzheimer’s/Dimentia.

Losing the ability to surf.

Being strangled/attacked.

Losing her best friends/family/husband.

How do they handle:

Disappointment: If directed toward herself, she clams up and holds it against herself for a while. If directed towards others, she will make sure to say she’s disappointed, yet not make it a big deal after maybe a day or so.

Anger: Depending on the range, she can go from rolling her eyes and scoffing to full on assault mode where she can (and will) harm the person *cough* Xander *cough*

Embarrassment: Try to fight it and pretend her face isn’t a cherry look alike.

Betrayal: From a friend, probably alienate herself from them slowly until there isn’t any more contact between them. From others, most likely just say “why?” and try to move on.

Fight or flight: Depends, once again. In an attack, fight. In a situation she really doesn’t wanna be a part of, fly like a bird.

Money: Mick hates to spend money on herself. She likes to save her money and use it when necessary if it’s on herself. She’s all for spending on her friends, though, as long as it’s in reason.

Lack of sleep: Insert Red Bull and energy pills.

Alcohol: Hahahahaha! Fucking drunk off her ass. I could see her going through this, stage by stage, within maybe an hour of drinking:

Injustice: Try to find a way to make things right again. “There will always be a solution as long as we try hard enough.” -Mick from a future chapter...

Mental illness: She gets so frustrated about it, lemme tell you. When she got her memory back, a seed of fear planted itself in her that she may lose her mind someday. She’s not from the perfect world Butchy’s from, she’s scared of forgetting everything again.

Grief: Closing herself off so nobody can see her crying or worrying over existential fears.

Exercise: Other than dancing, surfing, and maybe riding her bicycle, she despises exercising. Her gym teacher in elementary school made them run laps on the track around the football field almost every class, so she developed a hatred of exercise. (My school had a mile long track around the field that our teacher forced us to do. Use that as a guide for how far the teacher made these 5-9 year old kids run)

Defining moment: You’ll see it soon, let’s just leave it at that.

How do they feel about:

Glitter: Every Halloween, Mick will run to the costume supply shop and stock up on all of the glitter they possess. Pressed glitter, yup. Little bottles that you’re supposed to put on as necklaces, you betcha! Glitter eyeliner, ooooh yeah! Glitter witch hats and sparkly crowns, she owns three of them already!

Ferris Wheels: HECK NO.

Camping: In a camper, yes. On the ground, no. Not with all the mosquitoes and other creepy crawlies lurking about. In other words, Mick is our average Glamper.

Coffee: Brown water with ground up beans? Yeah, no, she’ll pass.

Crispy or floppy bacon: Any bacon is good bacon. She likes it in the middle, but anyway is good, really.

Mushrooms: Allergic.

Twilight Saga: Sparkly boys and werewolves and a fucking creepy cgi baby and-, hold up, is that Jay? Like, Mal and Malina’s friend? Wtf??? 🤨🤨

Guns: Owns a mini gun for protection and shares custody of a shotgun with Butchy. Butchy taught her how to use them both properly in case of an emergency or if someone were to break in. She is a licensed owner and never has had to use them before. She believes that guns don’t kill people, the people holding them do.

Extras

Do they have a signature smile? Not really.

Do they have a tell when they lie? Fidgeting with fingernails or scratching her head.

Do they have any nervous ticks? Her fingers shake, she bites her lips/cheeks, and her legs bounce if she’s sitting at a table or something.

Do they speak loudly, softly, or average? Average, leaning more toward loud.

Quality of voice. Smooth, like a lake on a windless day. Her voice rises more toward the middle of her sentences, but can also fall into a deeper tone if she’s not really concentrating on her inflection. It’s almost like watching a pinball rise and fall throughout a game, never sure where it’ll go.

Do they gesture when talking? She’s French. Of course she talks with her hands. Perhaps she should take up sign language, that might help her to stop gesturing so loudly 😆

Do they understand personal space? Yes, very much so. She enjoys her personal space and grants that to other as well out of habit.

How do they greet others? Usually “Hey” “Hi” or “What’s up?”

How do they say goodbye? “See you later/around!”

Something they always have with/on them. The bracelet with Butchy’s initial that matches the one he has with her initial. Her engagement ring. The flower ring. Her lucky shell necklace with a heart bead dangling from the center.

Do they recognize people better by their face or their name? She’s terrible with both, to be honest. She knows the names of people, but can never decide if it’s them or not by looking at them.Reversely, if she were to recognize someone as familiar, she wouldn’t be able to place a name with them until they said who they were.

What do they admire most in others? Honesty. Fairness. Compassion. Love of animals. Love in general. Intellect.

Pet peeves. Silverware grinding on ceramic plates/bowls. Questionably sticky floors. Loud people when there’s no reason to be loud.

What grosses them out? The smell of sliced cheese with nothing else on/with it, the smell of peroxide/rubbing alcohol, moist objects, the smell of diesel radiating off of a truck.

[roxannepolice]

You know, talking in general and not just SW, I think that sometimes the audience surrogate can be a double bladed sword done the wrong way. But there is also this percent of the fandom that thinks that if you don't love the audience surrogate or the other Relatable Character™ you are X thing. (1/2)

It has happened to me with the DW fandom and some people asking me why I like the Eleventh Doctor more than the Acceptable™ Twelfth Doctor. Because you you, the former is a more darker, possessive and selfish character and the later is kinder and all. And I am like... Not my fault if I found one more fascinating than the other because he is a bastard (2/2)

You know, this really carries me back in time to when Philosopher’s Stone was first released on dvd and among extras there was a sorting hat test/minigame and I went positively hysterical when upon first time spontaneous answers I got sorted into Slytherin. It took quite a long time for me to embrace my Slytherclaw self and if the hat had a problem between these two houses I would totally ask for classy underwater mess of a common room now. And I mention that as an introduction to how today grown up, intelligent people are worriedly sideyeing me when I say I'd fancy a Slytherin scarf.

It appears to me that the not-exactly-ostracism-at-least-outside-tumblr towards identifying with villains or even simply not completely cinnamon rolly characters has a couple of deeper rationales. One is that overtly morally unclear characters that are also intentionally identifiable with are a relatively new phenomenon in popculture. Villains could have been sympathetic but not really anything else until quite recently. They could have a point but wallow in how evilly they act on this point. They could even be likeable or awe-inspiring. But there always had to be a clear wall between them and audience, as well as the hero. RotJ Vader is in fact a great example of a villain who is sympathetic but not identifiable with, he exists in a simple paradigm of well he's Luke's dad and he believes there's good in him and he sounds miserable sometimes but otherwise yeah he offers to rule the galaxy because that's what villains do. He's also coded as the parent generation rather than the one the target audience would identify with. And of course, full body armour and mask complete the picture of unapproachability. OT Vader doesn't have motivation, past, psyche or really anything else other than he's Luke's dad, it took 20 years to change that. And now? Now we get good organisations being controlled by baddies, heroes having different opinions on their own ethical status, villains mirroring their motivations... On the one hand it's an interesting breath of fresh air in texts which were slowly becoming their own parodies, on the other there needs to be a balance between these problematic(TM) notions and unproblematic(TM) resolutions and frankly not all creators find this balance as I sometimes worry will be the case with the sequels. And mass audience straight doesn't know how to handle this in discourse, not because they're too dumb only because a tacit understanding even only theoretically present in discussions of more high-brow culture simply hasn't formed there yet. It's a widely accepted fact that some of the most discussed, desirable and given to best actors Shakespeare roles are the likes of Richard III, Lady Macbeth or Iago and there's no need explaining that fascination with them doesn't stem from condoning murder only confronting us with the darker but oh so human aspects of our nature. MCU, SW and BBC discussions have yet to get this memo.

And then there’s the matter of lifestyle commodification, which I think finds its echo even in something as trivial as popularity of online which character are you tests. There is something of a phenomenon of subjecting many elements of our lives to some one hobby or life choice, which sounds obvious until we look at shops trying to sell special coffee only for physically active people - because it’s speculated that it really all boils down to profit being bigger from selling a full lifestyle set (clothes, food, furniture) of some archetypal physically active person (or bookworm, fan or even activist) than y’know, just good shoes and some gear. So the point is that we are tought to think in full lifestyle sort of way rather than dissecting things and taking out only what we want. Ergo, you can’t like, let alone identify with, some aspects of a character and not everything about them - so if the character is morally gray/villainous you need to make it clear you don’t condone murder.

Then there is an old matter which gained new power lately - the moral panic over the influence of media. There’s no denying there exists a relationship between the culture we take in and our psyche, but pratically no serious researcher still believes in the “sponge” model where audience just sucks in whatever the text pours at them (fanfiction is in fact frequently pointed at as an example of actively recreative audience). Can exposition to lots of trivialized violence in tv make us numb to real world violence? Yes, research shows it can. But there’s a difference between sitting all day in front of tv mindlessly watching hours of sex, drugs and violence and engaging in problematic(TM) characters. As it’s frequently repeated, if you go on a killing spree inspired by a video game, there’s probably something wrong with you and not the game played by thousands of other people. Then again, we musn’t forget that part of history when committing a suicide while cosplaying Werther was all the rage among young european men.

And I think this also ties with how everything in contemporary popculture needs to mean something, or even in fact be some aspect of social reality. This is hardly the freshest phenomenon (Roland Barthes claimed already back in the 60s that popularity of aliens, martians more specifically, was due to mental association of red planet with Soviet Union during the cold war), but now it’s become a popular knowledge and, as abstract ideas tend to in mass interpretation, it got simplified to the level where FO aren’t simply visually inspired by pretty much every totalitatian system ever only are neo-nazis. As such it becomes one’s moral duty to waste emotional energy on righteously hating fictional characters in a kids’ movie or else you support nazism. Hence also all the school shooter, creepy stalker, spoiled brat etc. readings of Kylo Ben and all the mess going on around 11 (which really makes me think that new Who audience badly needs to learn what sh*t classic Doctors would pull).

In general I’d say there’s a slightly disturbing blurring of lines between reality and fiction going on before our eyes. It’s almost as if we couldn’t just chill out and let ourselves be transported to Oz without questioning the influence of ruby slippers on munchkin economy anymore. Or return to Kansas without demanding a yellow brick road.

#asks #star wars #dr who #villain discourse #not 100% cinnamon roll discourse #culture ramblings #slytherclaw 4 life

[trossy20]

1/24/2019 Millbrae, CA

So I’ve made it! Here we are in CA. West coast is truly the best coast (and yes my boo CO, that includes you too). Currently I’m in the backyard of the house (Airbnb hostel-like place) under their mini gazebo/patio thing. It was cold last night, so the chairs are all dewy, encouraging me to take a sit on the pavement. It’s not particularly warm, but the sun is out and doing it’s thing just right. It’s 0940ish; I woke up around 0900, having gone to bed close to 0100 watching Californication and Big Mouth which, no Matt, it’s not funnier while you’re stoned. I did a double last night at Marvelous Performance, but that would’ve been more impressive at Terra Nova because at this gym, I’m currently partaking in the Fundamentals level. It felt great yesterday though to have done their crossfit-level workout afterward. I’m excited for tonight, which will be another double: fundamentals strength first, HIIT class after. I’m especially excited though, for this thing they’re advertising (and I can’t seem to find any other info on it than what Matt ((one of the coaches)) told me) called something like 6-weeks to Best Self. I met a dude last night who was cool enough to just walk up to me randomly and introduce himself. I liked his energy and he was a similar height, but built! He’s been a member for a year and said he started with the 6 week thing too-- said it’s worth it especially for the nutritional/educational piece. :3 so i gotta get on registering. Imma ask more tonight. There’s an orange and lemon tree back here, with fruit but a bit too early to pick. According to the other residents, there’s also a cherry and apple tree. Our neighbors have persimmons (my like new fav fruit) and figs! Amazing. This place is a little house, longer in length than width, with about 6 bedrooms. Each bedroom has bunkbeds and from what I understand, there’s a single private room? It works though! Yknow, if you’re not OCD about things/not super bugged by messy people… A team comes to clean supposedly twice a week, but the residents report it’s been more so once a week, which isn’t cool because we’re past half capacity. Still, it works. 3 or 4 fridges in total, a kitchen, living room, tiny dining room, a basement with another tv and computers which I can’t figure out if they belong to anyone in particular or not. 3 guitars or more (mine included). A piano. Plenty of bikes (supposedly one is communal, but every one that brought their own bike is willing to share. A poor excuse for a workout bench but it can work. Communal/free laundry soap (feels weird to smell different). And a solid group of misfits. The coffee here is free (As even indicated by a little sign someone made) and there’s nearly always a fresh pot on. I shared a lot of my mush yesterday which is fine because I’m getting help paying for it anyway ty Katherine, and people are getting hooked but now it’s not even gonna last 24H x). Gotta make more today… So being here: It’s been a little disorienting to find my feelings. Today’s the first day that I’m taking a bit of time to create the space. My last day off was a bit of that, but I was so excited and distracted by my mini adventure to Sprouts that I didn’t make a lot of headway for what’s going on up there. I was starting to wonder if there’s much going on at all, just because everything is new and engaging and something’s always happening (even if it’s just netflix or someone playing video games). It’s all too easy to just let the days roll by. I checked in** on Jan 6th, was it? (**got to millbrae a day earlier and Ren gave me crap later for having us sleep in the car and not Elo/Peter’s place hehe). I wonder too, if it was too quick of a transition. I’m slowly allowing the format of my exploration to change. CO was all about meeting people via apps, but here I’ve already fallen into a group and met people way more easily in person ie Marvelous Performace, a friend of a friend, or even work/fellow travelers. As the experience pans out, I’m at least aware that allowing this format to be different is growth in itself. It makes me wonder how the next place might feel. I’ve also started to wonder about extending here… but that remains to be seen. (Been toying with the idea of WA next). There’s a crow that’s been vocal this morning, little finches chirping at a quicker pace, and another bird I don’t recognize all seemingly celebrating the quiet, warm morning. I’ve notifed just now my nose is a tiny bit stuffy, but I can still smell the sweet baked/fried goodies from whatever  bakery nearby. It carries in the wind to pretty impressive distances, but I think we’re close by. My laundry is going so I’m feeling extra productive/not worried about how I should be adventuring right now instead because I need to stick around to move it over/start the next load, and that made me wonder something new: I don’t feel … inquieto. I think that translates to anxious/restless. I always think it’s appropriate to say “be still, my heart,” if one is feeling inquieto, so I guess the translation fits. Still, i think those english words are a bit deceiving. Inquieto in ronnie world is yes, both of those, but fueled by a FOMA type of energy. I’m very aware of my emotional habit of needing to feel productive/busy all the time or else I’ll begin to feel depressed (something to examine later, though I don’t think it’s necessarily unhealthy of a thing. Bagh, but who knows what I’m hiding now), but (rounding back to the Something New) I think that energy is more at peace here, and that’s what’s mainly throwing me off. “Ronnie, what do you want..?” Uhh… Idk! We can always walk to Trader Joe’s or hop on the bus or train somewhere or read.. “Shouldn’t we be out meeting people? Meetups? Destinations? Missions?” Hm. I mean I guess but I rather just ride the bus or train :3 So maybe my social quota is filled already with these rascals. I expressed to Tracy that I was a little worried I’m not worried about it (am I asexual?), when she asked if there were any new love interests. She assured me that that’s totally normal-- we go through phases of course. She went through a 2 year stretch of not even giving that thought because life was just busy. She was doing her, and that was okay. That resonates with me. I guess I have this perception that around my age, everyone should be out socializing/meeting people/flirting/hooking up/getting trashed… but cmon ronnie, was that ever really you? I do find that fun occasionally, but it’s like I’m super happy to be settling more into my grandpa-like tendencies. I think the 8hr shifts have a lot to do with it too: the life I have within these contracts is probably hugely dictated by the shift I signed up for. These 8hr-ers encourage my grandpa trends, encourage a routine, encourage my days off to be restful and adventurous in MY way. In comparison, CO was 12hr-ers, nights, but took up about 4 days a week of my life. The rest of the days? I guess just chillin with Ren XD but it’s still different. Not in a bad way! Maybe I should look into more introspective prompts. Mainly I just try to gauge the degree of my inner FOMA, or trans-dom x) “*knocks on the mental door* Hey, Ronnie? You okay? You wanna do anything in particular?” -I’m good! “*narrow-eyed look* don’t be so quick to respond now, member?” -I know, but really! We could maybe paddleboard-- it’s supposed to be 60 deg today but if we don’t totally cool because that’s a lot of work opening the basement garage and all. Member, we gotta make more food at some point. *shrugs* meetup for ideas? But yeah, no FOMA :3 “Okay.. how you feeling bout dysphoria?” -Decent. I know we’ll have our class tonight. Should probs take a progress photo and that whole 6 week thing.. :) “Worm, cool. I’m thirsty.” It’s restaurant week! Maybe I’ll text that dude and his fiance to join us :3 1040 now, gonna check my laundry, skim meetups, and look into another pair of shoes because I destroyed the active ones……..

#jan2018 #CA2018 #millbrae