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promptthebear · 1 year

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Hi, I would love if you could just tell me anything you think about Edmund Pevensie 🧺 literally could be anything I just want to hear your thoughts ❤️

💗Edmund Pevensie Fluff Alphabet💗

A/N: Okay so I know I’ve been doing like all the alphabet templates lately but honestly they’re a lot of fun for me and people seem to enjoy them so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

CW: I don't think there is anything for this? It's fluff, so not much in terms of triggering content. The reader is female and referred to as Edmund's wife and queen.

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

For Edmund, I think he’d admire someone who’s smart, has a strong moral compass but isn’t so rigid that they can’t see the grey areas, and a good sense of humour is a must.

Ultimately, I don’t think he’d set out intentionally looking for a partner to rule Narnia with him but he’d end up choosing someone with those qualities subconsciously. His sense of duty to Narnia is just too strong to avoid that.

It would start off in small ways, he’d tell you about some messy political issue he’s working out and want to know your hypothetical opinion on the matter. He’d also bring up lots of philosophical subjects casually, and maybe even ask if you’ve engaged with any Narnian legal texts.

You don’t have to have a highly educated background to impress Ed or keep his affections, but he would appreciate if you listened and tried to contribute. At the very least you can act as a sounding board for his ideas, even if you wouldn’t be comfortable ruling in your own right. Someone who’s going to brush his concerns aside and accuse him of bringing down the mood or interrupt the conversation to focus on more frivolous topics isn’t going to be a good fit. You need to do at least a little bit of thinking to keep up with Edmund, he’s going to want a stimulating conversation now and again.

However you also can’t be so stuffy that Ed can’t joke around with you. Our boy may not be the little shit he once was, but he needs a partner who can see the funny side to things especially when he’s dealing with anything heavy. Humour is his primary coping mechanism, and if you don’t understand that then it’s not going to work out.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Edmund’s not really a superficial kind of guy. I think he’s more concerned about what you’re like as a person that what you’re like physically. However, I can also see him being a sucker for someone who smiles a lot and has pretty eyes. We already know, he’s a jokester and if you look extra nice every time he makes your face light up, well that’s just an added bonus.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

I can see him liking having his partner’s head on his chest while he’s got an arm around their waist or shoulder. He also likes being the big spoon, I have a personal head canon that he grew up lanky as fuck so it’s easier that way regardless.

Generally Edmund likes feeling as though he can protect and guard his partner, that’s what happens when you’ve been king since age 10. But, sometimes he’s tried and in those rare moments of vulnerability he’s going to want to put his head in your lap for awhile. When he gets like this I’d also advise rubbing his back or stroking his hair, he’ll melt in seconds.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

To me, Edmund’s always been a bit more of an introvert and what he likes to do for dates reflects that. He’s not the type to throw a massive party or feast just so he can be your escort to it. He’s much more likely to arrange a private picnic somewhere on the grounds, or take you out for a ride with Phillip on a trail with nice scenery or to a play put on by a local performing troupe.

It’s not that he won’t take you to tournaments and things like that. He loves having you on his arm and showing you off to the public, but it’s exhausting being King Edmund all the time. If you want to really get to know him, take him up on those quiet, simple dates. He’ll be much more relaxed and you’ll have a lot more fun too.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

Oh goodness, I think this really depends on when and how Edmund meets you. If you’ve known him since childhood, you’re going to get the full range without a lot of filters. Ed would know that you know him too well to try and hide anything, and he’s always been the type to speak his mind even if he’s gotten more pragmatic about it.

If the two of you meet for the first time when you’re both grown and he’s been ruling for awhile, you’re going to get a lot of King Edmund at first. That includes all the performative bull crap that comes with the title.

He’s going to be all smiles and up for a friendly chat, but still somehow very aloof and every answer he gives is couched in pragmatism so you don’t really know what he’s thinking about certain topics. To the rest Narnia, he’s their grinning, boyish King. But if you’re close enough you can see, the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, they’re flat and empty or even a little sad sometimes.

If this is the scenario, Ed probably won’t really let you in until the two of you are married or officially courting. It’s just too much of a risk, he’s got his people to think of and they need to know they’re in the hands of a strong leader. There’s no place for insecurity or vulnerability on the throne.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Honestly, the answer to this is yes and as soon as possible. When the two of you are married, Edmund would want to start trying for a baby right away. Or, if a biological child isn’t possible, then looking into some options to foster or adopt.

Unfortunately for Edmund, being a dad is kind of a deal breaker. If you don’t want kids yourself I can’t really see him wanting to commit to you long term. And there’s a couple reasons for this.

The first is, personally, that he really wants to be a father. He’s wanted this ever since their first visit to Narnia after his own family got him back from Jadis. In that moment he understood the blessing of the love he’s been given and as he got a bit older, he wanted to share that love with a family of his own.

The second reason is the Prophecy from the first book. There was never an addendum about what would happen if there were no longer human rulers in Narnia, but I can see Edmund doing a lot of research about it anyway. In the end, he’d probably decide it was better safe than sorry for him and Peter to have a few children each to act as heirs.

Somewhere in Edmund’s heart, he’s always been a bit paranoid about Jadis coming back. Not because he’s worried about himself or being tempted by her again, but more so because of what she promised to do to Narnia and the people he cares about if she ever got the chance. Making sure there’s always going to be Pevensies on the throne is just added security against that.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

So with Edmund, I feel like he’s the type to prefer a little, meaningful gift over a big, expensive sort of gesture and his own habits around gifts reflect that.

Yes, he’ll go out of his way for major occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas. But the rest of the year, you can expect little surprises from Edmund. The next book in the series you were reading just because, maybe a sachet of your favourite tea the next time he goes to market. He’s also not very artistic, but I can see him writing you love notes and giving those to you as gifts. He’d put lots of effort into those, with fancy paper and flourishing letters and coloured inks.

When it comes to getting presents from you, Edmund would just absolutely die from happiness if you made him something. It doesn’t have to be big or fancy or even well made. He’d accept a woven bookmark you cobbled together from scraps of ribbon or thread and treat it like it’s his most precious treasure. Just the idea that you cared enough to try and also made something that’s specially for him that nobody else has, it would make his heart soar. Also you can bet he’s going to be showing off whatever it is you made to anyone within earshot for ages afterwards.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

All the time lol.

With Edmund being King, the two of you don’t have a lot of privacy and PDA is generally frowned upon. Holding hands is the most acceptable way Edmund can show his love for you in front of everyone.

If the two of you are watching a tournament, he’ll reach for your hand and bring it over to rest on his leg with his own hand on top. If the two of you are rubbing elbows with courtiers at a ball or feast, he’s going to be holding your hand the entire time. If you’re sitting next to each other in the throne room and listening to appeals or the like, Edmund’s going to be holding your hand.

In part, it’s because he wants to show the two of you as a united front to the rest of the world. It’s also because he finds your touch soothing and it can ground him when things get out of control. If you find he’s getting a bit overwhelmed, maybe his shoulders start tensing or his jaw clenches, just give his hand a squeeze. You’ll see the anxiety leave him in seconds, and he’ll squeeze your hand back to let you know he understands what you’re trying to say. You’re here, you love him, and it’s going to be okay.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Burn the whole world to the gr-

I’m kidding I promise. But if you get hurt, oh boy, everyone watch out.

With you, Edmund is going to be the gentlest, most anxious man. He’s going to want to take a look at the wound himself even with the best doctors available. He’ll be reading up on treatments both magical and mundane, herbal remedies, all of it. Anything he thinks may help or ease your pain.

Be prepared for lots of fussing, tea and massages if you’re sore. There’s also probably going to be times where you glance up and see Ed watching you with this puppy dog kind of look, and you know he’s worrying about you AGAIN even if you’re on the mend. Try to be patient and reassuring, he just loves you and doesn’t want to lose you.

When it comes to the person who hurt you, however? All bets are off. Edmund is THE definition of “looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you”. Whoever hurt you better PRAY that you or Ed’s siblings are there to pull him off or they’re in for the beat down of their life. He’s been Peter’s second in fights for years and while he doesn’t usually start them, he knows plenty well how to finish them.

Expect at some point for Edmund to leave your sickbed, saying he has “something that needs his attention” only to come back to you with a split lip and bruised knuckles. If you press him for an explanation, he’ll play coy and act like he’s got no clue what you’re talking about. Whoever hurt you, IF they survive or aren’t run out of the kingdom on a rail, won’t so much as look in your direction ever again. You’re Edmund’s queen, and so long as you walk in Narnia you’ll be protected as such.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Oh my god have you MET this man???

Edmund is mischievous to a fault, he never quite grew out of that smart aleck streak of his and now it’s your problem.

You can expect everything from foolishness like swapping the salt and sugar for your tea to more elaborate schemes that he’ll drag his siblings into. There was probably more than one incident involving some minor spells that backfired and caused more chaos than they were worth. Ie. Edmund finds someone to cast a glamour that makes him have a crow’s head or something so he can jump out and scare you. It works a treat, but then he discovers that he still SOUNDS like a crow hours after the physical glamour wore off and he’s got to give an official speech to the council like WHOOPS.

He is also the KING of snark, sarcasm and inside jokes. The two of you are going to have a whole litany of nonsense that will send you into giggle fits but just confuse everyone else. Edmund also loves to make you laugh at moments that are maybe less than appropriate.

Peter has stopped letting the two of you sit together at any kind of serious event because you cannot behave. It’s not your fault though, Edmund keeps pulling faces and saying “Egg tart” which makes you think about that one time on that picnic with the centaurs and…okay Peter doesn’t get it but if he’d been there he’d understand why you’re giggling.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

So obviously Edmund likes giving you kisses on the mouth. He could do that for hours and never get bored. However, I can also see him enjoying giving you “courtly” kisses on the back of your hand or your knuckles. If the two of you met when you were grown ups, this is probably the first kind of kiss he ever gave you and even if it was just a social expectation, it’s still a memory Edmund cherishes. Nose kisses are also a big thing with him, but only because they make you giggle, which he loves.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

I mean first and foremost, Edmund is going to tell you he loves you about a million times a day. He’d probably be a lot like Wesley in the Princess Bride novel, where he’d be having the most mundane conversation with you like “Yes it’s supposed to rain a lot over the next fortnight so Peter wants to gather some workers and help sandbag the farmlands to avoid flooding and also I love you.” He says it pretty much any time it pops into his head.

He’d also try to show you in lots of other ways. Spending quality time is a big one since he’s busy and has so many people needing his attention. He relishes the quiet moments the two of you have together, evenings spent reading or playing chess, peaceful mornings snuggled up in bed. These don’t happen as often as he’d like, so if you suggest wanting to “stay in” on the rare occasion he does have some time off, he’ll eat the opportunity right up.

Acts of service would be another one, he wants to try and help with whatever you need. If you write poetry and need someone as a test audience? He’s your guy. If you knit and need someone to hold your yarn while you spool it? Ed’s there. Any hobbies you have, he’s going to want to want to be an active participant and barring that, he’ll be as helpful as he can.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

Honestly this is so cheesy but probably your first kiss.

If the two of you met and had an organic relationship, that memory to Edmund reflects the moment you started to belong to each other. Before that, the two of you were just friends. Close friends, but Ed always secretly hoped for more. And then with that one little action, everything changed. The two of you went from friendship to all the possibilities a new romance brings in a matter of seconds.

He thinks about it all the time, the way his heart was in his throat, the warmth in his gut when your lips met his, the pretty flush on your cheeks afterwards. He’d replay every moment leading up to the kiss too, trying to sort out exactly when you may have decided to kiss him or let him kiss you. Sometimes he gets himself all flustered and silly just thinking about it, and then he has to go and find you just so he can recreate the experience all over again.

If the two of you were in a arranged marriage though and your first kiss happened at your wedding, Edmund still treasures that memory. You were little more than strangers, but he still felt his heart skip a beat when he lifted your veil and saw you looking back up at him with bright, sincere eyes. And when he felt you kiss him back, chaste and quick as the kiss was? It was in that moment Edmund started to fall for you. Neither of you had asked to be put in this situation, yet here you were giving him your trust and kindness anyway. How could he not love someone like that???

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

I’ve talked about this a little before, but honestly for Edmund it would and always will be Jadis coming back.

He knows in his heart that he’s safe, at least. He trusts Aslan enough to know that no matter what happens, Jadis isn’t ever getting hold of him ever again. But when it comes to his family, his romantic partner and any future children he may have? Well, that’s when things get a little dicey.

As he and his family got older, they’d see Aslan less and less. And while Edmund still has a lot of faith in him, he’s also only human. When you care about people, you worry about them, and worry can lead to doubt.

He’d try to ease his anxiety by gathering any and all knowledge available on Jadis and her history with Narnia. Obviously a lot of what’s available in print has either been suppressed or destroyed, so he’s relying mainly on oral resources or archival materials related to Jadis as a secondary topic ie. anything about the Deep Magic.

This wouldn’t be an easy way to get the information he’s looking for, a lot of it is contradictory or parts of it written in languages that are no longer used. Still, Edmund would do the best he could to try and glean SOMETHING from what’s available to him. As far as he’s concerned, when it comes to your safety and the safety of his family, he will go to the ends of Narnia itself to ensure it.

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

When Ed’s in love he’s…well, distracted. If he’s sparring with Peter, his brother may score a couple of easy hits Ed would normally block. Lucy might have to say his name a few times before he notices she’s trying to ask him something. Susan would find lots of abandoned teacups around the library, their contents half drunk and gone cold.

Of course, they all immediately know what’s going on and will tease him relentlessly. Or rather Peter and Lucy will do it openly, while Susan insists she wouldn’t stoop to such lows but really she’s just more subtle about it.

I imagine the conversation going a little something like this. Lucy would say Edmund’s name several times in succession but he’s staring out the window or into the fireplace at the fire, clearly off in his own world. Peter would go “Never mind, Lu, I’ll take care of it” followed by “Oh HELLO Y/N”

Edmund would immediately snap to attention, turning to face the doorway with bright and eager eyes. Peter and Lucy of course dissolve into giggles, which makes Edmund huff and cross his arms. Susan would try and scold them for picking on Edmund, but she’s smiling too so it doesn’t really have the desired effect.

This all comes from a place of love, of course, but Ed also knows he is NEVER going to live it down.

When it comes to you and realizing Ed has a crush on you depends on how well you can read people in general. If you’re perceptive enough, you might pick up on it. If not, he’s going to be the same Edmund as always. I can’t see him really being the type to flirt or try to seduce you, at most you’ll see him more often.

Like he’s suddenly just around a lot more and while you can’t place your finger on why, that doesn’t mean you aren’t happy to see him either. Despite you knowing how busy he is, he magically has all the time in the world where you’re concerned.

Planning to go to the market later? He’ll tag along. Want to take a trail ride? He’s there. Need something off a high shelf? Oh look here comes Ed just in time. He’s 100% blowing off royal duties and the like to be with you, but don’t worry too much about it. If Peter catches you two, Edmund’s the one who’s going to be in trouble anyway.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Probably just the typical stuff. Darling, sweetheart, dear, dearest, love. The only one I can kind of see being different for him is beloved if the two of you have been married for awhile, and probably only if you’re either very upset and need comfort or if the two of you have been…doing what married couples do lol.

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship

With Edmund, I feel like the most beneficial “quirk” he has is his ability to negotiate and work through arguments.

Is this more of a slowly acquired skill than a quirk? Yes, but you can’t deny it isn’t both incredibly helpful and also sometimes incredibly annoying.

If you’re the type who wants to argue to blow off steam, Ed is going to drive you up the wall. When you come at him, sassing off and ready to GO, he’s not going to match your energy. Instead, he’s going to be calm and reasonable which will probably just piss you off more but he’s going to keep being so rational which will in turn just amp you up but again he refuses to give you the reaction you want which just makes you angrier and...well, you get the idea.

You're probably going to want to take up some kind of athletic hobby if this is you, like sword fighting or something along those lines. Trust me, it'll be much easier to take out your frustrations on a training dummy then it would be to goad Ed into getting angry with you. Better yet, go rattle Peter's cage a bit. He's always down for a good ol' fashioned argument or snark off, plus there's the added entertainment value for Edmund.

If you aren't the confrontational sort though? Well, the two of you are going to be perfect together. Edmund is an excellent communicator, he won't ever raise his voice to you and is generally pretty good at keeping emotion out of the equation so he can consider every aspect of the problem. Whether this is an issue that involves the two of you directly, or a problem you're having with someone else, Edmund will help walk you through it.

Please go to him when you're all worked up, he loves nothing more than to help you and has mastered telling someone to go fuck themselves in a way that still sounds polite. With him on your side, you'll never lose an argument ever again...except maybe sometimes to him lol. But again, he states his point so well and so sensibly that you don't find yourself minding too much either.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

I almost wasn't going to do this one because CS Lewis never actually published any music that exists within the Narnia universe, unlike say GRR Martin or Tolkien. HOWEVER, I am also extremely stubborn, a former English major and a choir kid at heart. This means I have a weirdly expansive knowledge of English and Celtic folk songs, and I finally settled on this one.

Now, obviously this is a modern recording (from 1996) BUT this is an old af song, and it sounds like to me that it would be sung around Narnia as a folk ballad because why not?

I figure your connection to Edmund through this song is because the both of you have heard the other one humming it on some occasion. Then, one day, maybe before the two of you get together, Edmund drops a yellow apple into your lap.

You didn't ask him for it, and he didn't say anything about giving it to you. Suddenly, there it was sitting on the open pages of your book or atop your embroidery or something. And you look up at him, and he gives you that wry smile that makes him look like a boy again, and you just know. This is his overture, his way of telling you he loves you without actually saying outright lest you break his heart. And you take a bite of that yellow apple, and it's so sweet and crisp and perfect, and from then on, that's who Edmund was to you. Fresh apples, chaste kisses and ballads hummed softly on warm, sunny afternoons.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

Give it time, and there won't be a lot Edmund hides from you. Lying and keeping secrets has gotten him in trouble before, and he's sworn he's never going back. He realizes now, that honesty is the best policy and needing help doesn't make him weak. Plus, if you've been together for long enough you'll be able to read him so well he won't have much luck hiding things from you anyway.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

I think it depends on the situation, really.

If the two of you grew up together, well, years in that case. The two of you were always very affectionate, but it didn't turn romantic until the two of you were in your late teens. In that particular situation, falling in love was just the natural next step. It's familiar, cozy, and nobody is surprised when Edmund announces he intends to court you officially. That courting period is also really just a formality, your family always knew you were going to end up with Edmund from the first time he came to visit.

If the two of you have an arranged marriage however? Well, that's going to change things. Did you want to get married? Do you actually like Edmund at first or did you get a poor first impression? Do you have an old love you're still holding a torch for? These are all going to influence how your relationship with Ed goes past the wedding. Depending on any of these factors, you could be looking at anything from six months to a few years.

Proximity would really be key in deciding how that relationship plays out. Edmund probably knows the chances of romantic love happening instantly in a romantic relationship are slim to none. But he hopes to be friends at least, you're stuck with each other so why not make the best of it? He isn't looking for anything else, but he's also such a charming, sweet man that in the end you probably couldn't help yourself.

After being around him for so much time, you'd eventually ease into loving him properly. From then on, the charade you have for the court as a married couple stops being a charade and becomes a little glimpse for everyone into what the relationship actually is behind closed doors. All it takes is the right spark for this to eventually blossom into a full blown romance.

If the two of you meet when you're grown and form a relationship without the pressure of impending matrimony, then that's what's going to have the shortest amount of time between when you first meet and when you become a couple. Edmund would make his intentions clear within a couple of months of knowing you, and from there a typical courting period would follow.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Hugs. So many hugs. Anyone remember that scene in Zootopia where Judy walks over to Nick and bumps her head against his chest while she's crying? That's Edmund. You can work out the details later. At first, his main priority is going to be to hold you close and put himself between you and whatever's got you so worked up. He won't mind in the least if you want to cry on him either. If anything, that just makes him squeeze tighter with maybe a few "It's alright, love" or "I'm heres" murmured into your hair.

Once you've calmed down a bit, then he's ready to listen. Just pour your heart out to him, he won't miss a single detail and he'll be sure to help you work through any problem no matter how convoluted or insignificant it seems. He will also probably get someone to bring you some tea or make a cup himself while you're filling him in. What can I say? The English are like us Maritimers in that aspect, nothing can't be fixed with a good, warm cuppa.

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

Edmund's proud of a few things, even if he's a little more subtle about them. His family, for one. He loves his siblings so much and every accomplishment of theirs is worth celebrating no matter how small.

He's also very proud of his kingdom. Narnia is his home, his salvation and his joy. He wouldn't be who he is without it, and he wants you to try and understand that the best you can. Expect to go on lots of trips to little out of the way wonders you didn't even know about, and lots of scenic locations on dates. Admire each and every inch with Edmund, from local folk festivals to sunsets to fields of wildflowers. There's nothing about this country he doesn't love, and the only thing better than experiencing it on his own is with you.

Edmund would also love showing you off. Whether you dress up or are just going casual for the day, he wants everyone to see you. To admire your beauty the way he does. The only thing he loves more than Narnia is you, and damned if he's going to rest until the world realizes it. Expect him to take you to lots of council meetings, political events and the like.

They may not involve you in the slightest, in fact you may sit there the whole time knitting or writing or sketching and not paying much attention, but that's okay. Edmund just wants you there for moral support and also again, so everyone can have a look at you. Each subtle touch to his arm, each whisper in his ear or kiss on his cheek. He relishes those little moments because it shows everyone he belongs to the most amazing woman in the world.

Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Edmund really, really doesn't want you fighting. He's seen the mess war makes, and wants you as far from that as possible. However, if you can hold your own in battle, then he'll at least concede once he witnesses it for himself. From then on, he's happy to fight alongside you, maybe even listing you as his second in tournaments, not that anyone can ever beat him lol.

If you're not the fighting type, however, then Edmund makes it his personal mission to be your knight in shining armour. Expect him to ask for your favour when he goes to fight or joust in tourneys or before going to battle. He may not want you anywhere near the bloodshed, but having those little reminders of what he's fighting for means he's all the more likely to come back to you in one piece.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

So very well. Good luck keeping secrets, because this man will be able to read you with a glance. This comes from Edmund's own pragmatic nature, as well as the fact that he needs to be able to read a room moments after entering. If you're even the least bit on edge, Ed will be pulling you aside for a quiet moment and won't rest until he gets to the bottom of things.

He'd also know you're pregnant the second you're sure of it yourself. All it would take is the slightest shift in your expression or the way you carry yourself, and boom, that's it. He'd be asking you about your health and baby names and won't leave well alone until you tell him. Like I said, good luck keeping secrets. He's clever and stubborn, not a winning combination for someone you're trying to hide things from.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

So with Edmund, I feel like there are two different proposals.

The first is going to be your private proposal. It may involve a ring, it may not. Case in point, Edmund is going to try and have quiet moment with you to ask before all the chaos that comes with a royal wedding beings.

He may take you to the spot where you had your first date, or arrange a special dinner or even just do it in the comfort of your own chambers. He'll probably either light some candles or get jars of fireflies or make use of some naturally bio-luminescent plants that grow around for mood lighting.

He'd probably also wrap a blindfold around your eyes or have you cover them before guiding you in. He's surprised you with things before, but you'd really have no idea what he's planning until you open your eyes or take the blindfold off and see him kneeling in front of you.

He wouldn't even be able to get the whole question out before you're down there with him, exclaiming "Yes, yes! Of course I will!" I between the many, many kisses you're giving him. If he gets a ring, it'll probably be a very simple silver band he had one of his dwarven friends make for you. You'll get a fancier, bejewelled ring later on when things are officially announced, but again Edmund still wants you to have something that's just for the two of you to share before the whole kingdom gets involved.

The formal proposal would come later, which would be a big ceremony with all the fanfare and everyone invited, royal, noble or otherwise. You'd be standing next to Edmund in front of the four thrones when he makes the announcement. A raucous cacophony of cheers would follow, the sound so loud you can feel it reverberating in the hollows of your collarbones.

This would be the one and only time anxiety would set in, because you'd realize that this means you aren't just going to be Edmund's wife, but a Queen of Narnia. However, before you can start to spiral Edmund would give your hand a squeeze, and your mind quiets. In spite of your doubts, he believes in you and your ability to rule alongside him. That and his love is more than enough to keep you going.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Spending time with you, his family, any children you may have together. Going for trail rides with you, or practising his swordplay.

It isn't often Edmund actually panics or gets stressed. He and Susan are the most clear headed of all their siblings. They're more likely to think or talk things through then they are to submit to blind emotion.

However, Edmund is only human, and sometimes the weight of the world literally gets to be too much. In those rare moments, he wants nothing more than to seek out the things that ground him and make him feel like a normal man.

If he suddenly gets very sooky and cuddly with you out of nowhere, or pulls you and the children away from what you're doing to go on a sudden day trip or you find him hacking away at a training dummy at odd hours? Check in with him. Odds are there's something bothering him, and he's trying to seek out support from you without worrying you directly.

#easter askbox event #edmund pevensie x reader #Edmund pevensie imagines #Narnia imagines #edmund pevensie

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rhoorl · 7 months

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Working Title | Chapter 13

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x OFC Belle

Rating: Mature, 18+, for the love of all things please don’t engage if you are a minor ok?

Word Count: ~8k

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Chapter 13 on AO3

Chapter Summary: We are back on set. Dieter also completes the second half of his photoshoot/interview.

Chapter Warnings: There’s some anxiety and angst in this chapter as well as allusions to intimacy issues.

A/N: I really struggled with this chapter for some reason, especially the end. I even employed Mr. Rhoorl to read parts of it. But with that being said, it is largely unbeta’d so any and all mistakes are on me even though I re-read this thing too many times.

You wake up a bit startled, realizing you had been too blissed out the night before to set an alarm. A glance at the clock makes you breathe a sigh of relief seeing it’s only 3 a.m.

Oh, thank God. Still have one more hour.

You turn back around to see Dieter fast asleep facing you. He looks so peaceful and it takes everything in you to resist the urge to thread your fingers through his hair and twirl his curls or kiss the little bare patch in his beard.

Images of what happened mere hours ago start to replay in your mind which makes you squirm, forcing you to press your thighs together to get some relief. You're trying hard to not wake Dieter up, but he must have sensed your rustling. He drapes his arm over your midsection, running his thumb up and down your back. His eyes are still closed but you can see the corners of his mouth turn up, so you shuffle a little closer to him.

“Hey,” his voice is raspy with sleep.

“Hi, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” you whisper.

He opens his eyes and looks at you, bringing you in for a kiss. “It’s ok…shit! What time is it? Are you late?” He moves to get up but you push him back down.

“All good. I didn’t set an alarm ... my body just knows,” you laugh.

His hand moves down to cup and squeeze your ass, making you giggle. “So, how much time do we have before you have to leave?”

“Hmm…let’s see,” you turn your head to look at the clock. “A little less than an hour.” You grab your phone to double-check that you didn’t get a last-minute message from Meredith telling you to come in earlier. You did, however, catch a text from Indy. All she sent was a gif of the Minions celebrating and shouting, which makes you laugh.

“What is it?” Dieter comes up behind you, playing the role of big spoon as he nuzzles your neck.

“I think Indy may have heard us last night,” you giggle.

“Good,” you can practically hear his smirk as he kisses your neck.

You both lay there and cuddle for a bit, basking in the heat radiating off of Dieter's body while you trace the outline of the triangle tattoo on his forearm.

“You are like a furnace.”

“Well, you’re an icicle,” he laughs. “Glad I’m around to warm you up, but this thing is kind of hindering my skin-on-skin contact,” he tugs at the bottom of your top.

You turn your head to look at him and roll your eyes playfully as you take your top off, thankful that the bed sheets were providing some cover. He presses up even closer to you, your back feeling his firm chest as he breathes.

The hand resting on your stomach moves up to cup one of your breasts, slowly teasing your nipple as he starts to kiss the spot under your ear he recently discovered was very sensitive. You whimper and feel his cock twitch and get harder.

You wanted nothing more than to abandon all your insecurities and tell him to fuck you. But there was still something holding you back. It seemed silly really when you were pressed up against each other half-naked, having already shared some intimate moments. But deep down, you were scared to give him all of you. You were trying to live in the moment and not think ahead, but is there something here or is this just a fling? You don’t know how you’d deal with the latter since you were already developing feelings for Dieter you’ve never felt before.

Ever the sweetheart, Dieter doesn’t initiate anything further without checking in with you. He sees your face scrunched in thought.

“Hey, what’s going on in there?” He kisses your temple.

“Sorry…I…” you move so your back is flat against the bed and look up at him. “I want to…do more with you, but I just…”

“Belle,” he says with a bit firmer of a tone than you’ve heard from him. He sits up, the covers pooling around his waist. “Baby, we don’t have to jump into anything right away. I don’t want you to stress out thinking you, we, have to do things in a certain…sequence. Do…do you wanna have sex with me? Sometime?” he looks nervous as he asks, rubbing the back of his neck. You nod and his face softens. “Good, cuz I wanna have sex with you, I think about it quite a lot actually,” he chuckles, coming back down next to you cupping the side of your face as you turn to him. “But I want you to be comfortable with it, to be comfortable with me…”

“I’m comfortable with you, it’s honestly not you at all, it’s…me…”

He stops you before you start to ramble and kisses you. You spend a few minutes making out, trying to let your bodies express what words couldn’t. Suddenly he pauses and looks up at the clock, quickly getting out of bed to grab his shorts, pulling them on low across his hips.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back… stay here,” he smiles, giving the top of your head a peck as he scampers out of the room.

You fall back into your pillows, smiling as you watch him walk out and close the door most of the way behind him. After a few moments, you decide to get up, grab your robe, and head to the closet to pick out your clothes. It was going to be a pretty long day on set, so you needed something comfortable. You were going to be splitting your time between Indy and Sam who were simultaneously shooting scenes with separate crews. In the morning, Indy had an action scene and Sam had a walk and talk with Dieter.

Dieter didn’t want a morning to go by without the little routine you both had developed, so he rushed over to the kitchen to make some coffee.

As the coffee brews, he busies himself with finding two coffee mugs and a box of cookies. Behind him, he hears someone clear their throat. Spinning around he's met with Sam’s sleepy frame and messy hair as he rubs his eyes. The two men, both wearing just shorts, smirked at each other, clearly satisfied from the previous night.

“Hey, D”

“Hey man, wasn’t expecting to see anyone else up, much less you,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, well, I got a pretty convincing reason to come over last night and one thing led to another….same for you?”

“You can say that,” he winks at Sam. “These two seem to be trouble if they’re left alone.”

Both men laugh and then silently get to work fixing coffee for their respective ladies. Sam knew just how many sugar packets to grab and poured exactly the right amount of cream into Indy’s cup. Dieter tucks a box of cookies under his arm and walks back to your room, careful to not spill any coffee. He softly kicks open the door and sees the bathroom light on.

You hear him and come around the corner in your robe, your face lighting up when you see Dieter carrying coffee and some cookies. The domesticity of this small moment wasn’t lost on either of you. The whole morning so far seemed so natural, easy, and familiar.

“You made me coffee?” You grin from ear to ear, bouncing over to him and wrapping your arms around his neck to kiss him.

“We have to start the morning off right,” he winks as you take the coffee cup from him.

“This was really sweet, thank you. I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick and then I’ll be out.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn't know. This is gonna get cold,” he nods to the cup.

“No, it’s ok,” you call from the bathroom as you turn the rainfall shower head on. “I’ll only be a minute since I'm not washing my hair!”

Dieter tries to think of something, anything, that isn’t the image of Belle naked in the shower. All he wanted was to barge in there and have his way with her, but he refrained. He wanted nothing more than for her to feel comfortable and safe around him, so he tried to be respectful even though his dick betrayed him nearly every step of the way.

Belle was true to her words and within minutes he heard the water stop and the shower door open, presumably for her to get a towel.

Looking won’t hurt anything, right?

His feet take over as he makes his way to the bathroom, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe just as she wraps the towel around herself, startling her a bit.

“Hi!” She tugs the towel a little tighter to tuck it in.

“Your coffee,” he smirks as he hands the lukewarm cup back over to her. “You sure you don’t want me to go heat it up for you?”

She rolls her eyes and takes a sip, “I’m fine. I’m used to drinking tepid coffee, I’ve actually grown quite fond of it. We don’t all have assistants who bring us hot cups of coffee whenever we want,” she smiles.

He sits on the side of the tub, watching her get ready as they talk about their schedules for the day. He’s in awe of her, how she retains so much information, and yet he has to rely on Danny and his phone to tell him where to go next.

“What time is your interview today?” she asks him as she finishes up the last of her coffee, coming to stand in between his legs and play with his hair as he hands her a cookie. “Should be after my first scene," he wraps his arms around her waist, hands resting on her ass. "Sounds like I’m gonna need to change real quick so Rob can get one more shot and then I’m chatting with Maria over lunch.”

“Nice!”

“Are you gonna be able to stop by?”

"You want me to?"

"Of course, I do, baby," his hands trail down her body to where the towel ends and start to creep up, making Belle giggle.

“I’ll try…shit, I gotta get dressed!”

In her rush to get dressed, she dropped her towel onto the bed and started to rummage through a drawer. Dieter's eyes roam every inch of her as he bites his bottom lip, remembering how she tasted and craving it again. He watches her put her bra on followed by her underwear, which he wants to take off with his teeth.

“Dieter?”

He snaps out of his trance, walking towards her, “Hmm?”

She smirks at him as she throws a dress over her head. “You seem distracted,” she teases.

“I wonder why that is hmm?” he wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her. "Especially since I'm gonna have to go the rest of the day knowing what's under your dress." He deepens the kiss as her hands thread through his hair, something he cannot get enough of.

An alarm from Belle's phone goes off.

“Guess, that’s my cue to go,” she pouts, twirling one of his curls along the nape of his neck.

“I should probably head out, I don’t want another awkward run-in with Sam,” he says as he throws his sweatshirt on.

“Wait, Sam is here?!” She whispers as the two head out of the room.

They stop in the living room, hearing a gasp followed by a moan coming from down the hallway, and cover their mouths to stifle their laughter. Neither of them says a word until they're safely in the hallway.

"Well, looks like there are going to be four satisfied people on set today," he teases as they slowly walk down the hall, holding her hand. He was in no rush to get back to his room and away from Belle.

"Satisfied, huh?"

He grabs her by the waist. "Mhmm, very. And I'm hoping that becomes…a…regular thing," he says between kisses.

"Yea? It was ok?"

Dieter steps back and playfully rolls his eyes and cradles her face with both hands. "Having my dick inside your mouth? Going down on you? Yeah, I’d say that was more than okay." They both laugh. "But seriously, baby, I lo- …ah…loved how you…ah…took some initiative, it was so hot. But my favorite part was that I got to wake up to you."

Belle pushes up on her tiptoes to kiss him, before moving to whisper in his ear, "Then we'll have to do it again." His breath hitched as she palm his dick through his shorts. "And I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a tease, but if I don't leave now Mare will be so mad."

"And we don't want that," he smirks. "I'll see you soon, baby."

And with one more passionate kiss, Belle makes her way down the hall to the elevator. She gives Dieter a little wave as the door closes and he rests his head against the wall to catch his breath.

Walking through the trailer you are greeted by Meredith and Brianna, the latter of which is dutifully prepping your station.

"Hey! How was yesterday?" Brianna looks over excitedly.

"It was awesome, Dieter looked great, with or without me,” you laugh. “And the place we went was beautiful, I want to go back there sometime," you smile before looking over at Meredith. "Thanks so much for letting me go, Mare. How were things around here?"

"Don't mention it, you did me a favor," she winks. "Things were quiet, only a few scenes. Today is gonna be a doozy though."

The three of you make quick work of prepping as the other stylists file in and get their stations ready. There's an excited buzz in the air.

Before the first call times, Meredith gathers everyone for a quick huddle to discuss the day since the crew was going to be split up. Right as she was ready to wrap up she made one final announcement.

"Ok, so at the end of the week, the resort is putting on a special luau for us all. Production is also taking the following day off so you can all let loose, unwind, and get a long weekend."

Excited murmurs fill up the trailer as everyone starts talking about what they're going to wear and their plans for their unexpected extra day off.

Indy is the first of the principal actors to come into the trailer that day and she was absolutely glowing. She was also carrying an iced coffee so you knew she had a good night and was in a great mood.

“Oh hey B,” she winks at you, sitting in your chair and pulling her hair out of her clip so you can start to brush it.

“Why hello sunshine, did you have a good start to your day?” you smirk at her in the mirror.

“Absolutely divine. And I'm betting you did too,” she smiles back.

With Brianna doing her skin prep, you start to work on her hair, putting in loose waves with a curling wand. You are just about done when you hear the door open and you know it was Dieter without seeing him. The atmosphere changed and your stomach got instant butterflies. You are in your own little world as you turn to look at him, not realizing that your hand is about to touch the hot barrel of the curling wand.

“Ah fuck!” you pull back, quickly unraveling Indy’s hair from the wand.

Indy turns around, “Babe are you ok?” She gets up and grabs her iced coffee, putting it to your hand. The coolness is a welcome relief.

“Shit bab-,” Dieter clears his throat, “Belle. Are you ok?” He lightly touches your shoulder, trying to look at your hand.

“Bravo, you’re here less than a minute and you're already distracting your girl,” Meredith smirks, playfully slapping Dieter on the chest.

Dieter straightens up and removes his hand from your shoulder, running it through his curls while blushing. Neither of you knows what to say and it feels like all eyes are on you. Before either of you can say anything, Aubrey walks through the door.

“Hey Mare, do you have a sec? Oh Dieter, perfect, wanted to talk to you too.”

The three of them go over to Meredith’s station to talk through Dieter’s look for the photo shoot and how they want to style him for the scenes today.

“Psst, you ok?” Indy whispers to you as you return to her hair and Brianna finishes up her makeup.

“Yea, I’m gonna need a Band-Aid or something, fuck this thing is gonna hurt later.”

“Did you and Dieter have the conversation? Are you his girlf- ow!”

You pull on her hair slightly to catch her eyes in the mirror, looking over at Brianna who is busying herself with cleaning off some brushes and pretending to not overhear your conversation.

“Can we talk about this later? I’m interested in your night too.”

“You got it, babe,” she winks, getting up and moving to the mirror to give herself one final look. “Amazing as always, I like what you did to my eyebrows Bri!”

The girl smiles and gives Indy a sheepish thanks.

As Indy steps around your chair to leave, Aubrey walks by. The two of them stare each other down, Aubrey giving a fake smile before she leaves, never having acknowledged you or anyone else in the trailer.

“She’s going to end up getting pushed into a pool, mark my fucking words,” Indy mutters to you as Brianna snorts.

Sam walks in as Indy is leaving, the two sharing a quick kiss before Indy heads to wardrobe.

“Hey doll, how’re you? What’s up D?” he calls over to Dieter who gives him a small nod as Meredith attempts to trim his mustache.

You make quick work of Sam’s hair, slicking it back in a neater style than what he normally wears. Just as you are finishing up, Dieter walks by giving your waist a squeeze and a wink in the mirror as he walks out.

“Things going well? He treatin’ ya ok?” You understand why Indy is obsessed with Sam’s low, Southern drawl. It's so soothing.

“He is, Sam. Very much.”

“Oh well, I have no doubt.” he winks. “I don’t wanna embarrass you darlin’, I didn’t hear anything. Now Indy on the other hand…” he chuckles. “But seriously, he does anything out of line you let me know ok?”

You smile, “I will Sam. You’re a sweetheart, you know that?” Your stomach grumbles loudly.

“I save it all for you. Hey, have you eaten today?”

You smack your hand to your head, “fuck, no. I got busy.”

“Well, when you’re done we’re going to craft services.”

You roll your eyes playfully at him in the mirror and make the last finishing touches. “Ok done, please try and not mess with your hair too much.”

“I got it, I’ll try.”

“Hey Mare, I’m gonna go grab something real quick to eat if that’s cool?” She nods over to you. “Bri you good? Wanna come?”

“Oh no, I’m good, I’ll get your on-set kit ready and I’ll bring it to you.”

“You rock, I’ll see you out there.”

Craft services had an impressive spread of goodies ranging from grab-and-go items to sandwiches to a tropical fruit display. You and Sam walk up and down to see all of the choices and he greets the woman standing behind one of the tables. She’s petite but sturdy with a sweet face.

“Kalani, this all looks amazing! Have you met my friend Belle? She’s Indy’s best friend.”

“Hi dear, nice to meet you,” she shakes your hand. “Sam is over here quite a lot so we’ve become fast friends,” she winks.

“She’s the bodyguard for all of the delicious snacks. Do you have those…um, what were they called again?”

The woman chuckles, “Masaladas, Sam. And here, I saved a few for you. Those stuntmen were going to take them all!”

“Ah, I love you! Have you had one of these before?” He points to a small plate with little fried dough pieces.

“No, I can’t say I have, what are they?”

“Oh I made them myself,” Kalani says proudly. “They’re like a donut, I’d say. There are some plain ones, but I saved a couple of the filled ones for Sam.”

“Well, which one is your favorite? That’s the one I want to try first,” you smile at her.

“Ah, I’m a little biased because I think they’re all great,” she giggles. “But, I think the haupia-filled ones are good to start with.” She picks up one of the fluffy treats with a napkin and hands it to you, eager for you to take a bite.

“Ooo ok. I was going to ask you what’s in it, but I’m just going to go for it,” you wink. Sam grabs two and starts digging in. Sinking your teeth in, you are greeted by a rich, smooth, velvety custard that has hints of coconut. It’s not too sweet and you wish you had a coffee. “Oh my goodness,” you were relishing the delicious flavor. “This is like one of the best things I’ve ever had.”

“What’s that?” you hear a low voice behind you and you instantly feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

“Um, these are … I’m so sorry, what are they again?” You look to Kalani to bail you out since you were rendered a bit speechless at the sight of Dieter.

He was dressed for his scene with Sam — black slacks and a crisp white button down, the shirt was holding on for dear life as it spanned his broad shoulders. He had a black tie with green and gold stripes and the top button of his shirt was undone. What really threw you for a loop was the gun holster he was wearing along with the handcuffs hanging from his belt which made you gulp.

“Masaladas. They’re like a donut, very popular here on the islands. I made them myself.”

“Oh nice, well then I definitely have to try one,” he smiles as the woman blushes. He grabs one from her and starts to eat it, your eyes trying to avoid staring at his mouth but he doesn’t help things when he wipes his thumb on his bottom lip catching some crumbs. “Wow, these are amazing!”

“What’re those? Donuts?” you hear Aubrey behind you, rolling your eyes as you keep your back to her.

You glance over and see her holding Dieter’s suit jacket in her hand.

“They’re very similar to donuts,” Kalani had a more pointed tone with her.

“Oh well, none for me! Gotta keep in bikini shape. We should go check out the beach sometime, Dee,” she touches his arm.

You ball your fist, your fingernails digging into your hand, no doubt leaving a mark. Aubrey is deliberately trying to fuck with you and all you want to do is dropkick her right there.

Dieter gives her a confused look and shakes his head, moving to wrap his arm around your waist.

“Belle, I think I could use a touch-up. Think you could take care of that for me?"

Aubrey huffs away towards the set as Sam stifles a laugh.

“She’s…what’s the word Indy used? Oh yeah, thirsty.” Sam smirks as you all laugh.

The scene between the boys was over relatively quickly, they only needed a few takes. Once they wrap the scene you collect your things and start making your way to Indy and the team on the other set.

“Hey Belle, wait up,” you hear Dieter’s voice behind you as he rushes to catch up to you.

“Hey, you did great,” you smile as he rests one hand on your hip, rubbing small circles with his thumb.

“Thanks, baby. How’s your hand?” He lifts it up to inspect it, kissing your palm.

“It’s ok, I’ve honestly done worse,” you laugh, feeling warm at how tenderly his lips touch your skin.

“You headed over to see Indy now?”

“Yeah, I’ll try and make it back, we’ll have to see how it goes.”

“I get it, I just want to do something before you go,” he leans down and kisses you.

You blush and tuck some hair behind your ear, before clearing your throat and looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You’re making it hard to walk away right now.”

“Good. I wish we had more time so you could, uh…come and see my trailer.”

“See your trailer, huh?” He puts his other hand at your waist, bringing you in closer. “Now why would I need to do that?” You smirk, basking in this public, flirty banter.

He leans down and whispers in your ear, “Don’t start something you can’t finish baby, I may have to haul you over there and show you.”

The gravel in his voice has you practically dripping as you feel his hot breath on your ear.

Pulling slightly on his tie, you lean in and whisper in his ear, “You are a menace, Mr. Bravo,” before turning on your heel and walking away, leaving him licking his bottom lip as he watches you head to the other set.

Indy was mid-conversation with the stunt coordinator Jay when you walked up. She seemed a bit upset, so you were on high alert.

“Well, just do it the way I said and you won’t get hurt,” Jay says before he walks away, throwing his arms in the air.

Turning to watch him leave you look back at Indy who has her arms crossed in front of her chest, chewing on her nail. “What the fuck is his problem?”

“He’s a diva. We practiced this choreography for weeks and now he’s changing all of it last minute. I’m nervous I’m going to fuck it up.” Indy moves to chewing on her bottom lip as you hand her the fidget spinner you always keep in your bag.

“These stunt guys are pros, I know you’re in good hands, Ind!”

The first couple of takes are a bit rough, but once Indy gets the hang of it she really gets into character. You are amazed at how she can compartmentalize her anxiety and become an entirely different person.

Buzz

You look down at your phone, smiling when you see a message from Dieter.

Dieter: I need your help with something. And it’s legit too I’m not trying to be horny.

You smirk, wondering what this could be about.

Belle: I’m intrigued…

Dieter: Should I wear my glasses for the shoot? Would it make me look too old?

He sent you a selfie, one eyebrow raised, the opposite eye squinted closed as he purses his lips. Even though it’s a goofy photo he still looks so cute. He had on a pair of glasses with thick black frames.

Belle: No! I think you look cute 😘

Dieter: Cute?

Belle: Ok, well I was going to use a different word

Dieter: Now I’m the one who is intrigued…

Belle: I like it when you wear your glasses.

Dieter: What do you like about it?

You shake your head, smiling at your phone.

“Hey! Hey, earth to makeup, can we get some touch-ups?” One of the production guys snaps his fingers at you to get your attention.

You cut your eyes to him and don’t say anything as you take your time walking over to Indy.

“That guy’s a real fuckwad. What’s with this crew, they are no fun.” Indy whispers as you take a blotting sheet to her forehead and follow it up with some powder.

“Yeah, I know. Typical though, you know how it is.”

You both give each other a knowing look before you walk out of frame.

Indy wraps up her scene and heads back to the main set area with you. She’s done for the day and is going to tag along to watch Dieter’s photoshoot.

As you walk up to where Rob is getting set up you see Dieter getting touched up by Meredith while Aubrey finishes steaming his jacket. Seeing him almost takes your breath away. His hair was exquisitely coiffed in a cascade of messy curls which still managed to have some structure. There was order in the disorder of what Meredith created and it was beautiful. He had on a pair of dark wash jeans, black boots, a simple white t-shirt, and the glasses from the selfie he sent you.

He was laughing and talking to Meredith when his eyes drifted over, seeing you. The smile he gave you made the butterflies return. You have to pinch yourself a bit that he is even real and that he is looking at you in this way. When you think of him, you have feelings you haven't ever felt about a man.

Do I lo-, no stop it, it’s been like less than a week.

The sweet feelings are suddenly replaced with lust as your eyes trail down to see the way his hand grips his cell phone. You remember the way his hands roamed over your body last night, the combination of tender care and a little possessiveness. You don’t even realize that you’re looking at him and biting your lip as he looks you up and down.

“Psst, cool it with the eye fucking,” Indy whispers.

You clear your throat and straighten up, smoothing your dress to try and find something to do with your hands. Dieter smirks at your flustered state and returns to talking to Meredith. When she gets the last of her final touches done she steps back from him so Aubrey can hand him his jacket. She takes a lint roller to his jacket once it’s on, finding your eyes as she moves the roller along his broad shoulders.

“We good to get started? Didn’t realize we were going to have such a crowd,” Rob snickers, looking over at you and Indy.

“I think we’re all good,” you hear someone say behind you, turning to see Liz giving Rob a tight-lipped smile. “Hey girls,” she turns to you both and smiles.

“Hi Liz, w-we can go. I just wanted to see what Meredith decided to do, and I-”

“It’s totally fine for you to be here,” Liz cuts you off. “Don’t let him,” she nods to Rob, “let you think you shouldn’t be here. Dee wants you here. Plus, he seems to be a lot calmer and relaxed when you’re around so for my sanity I would like you here,” she laughs.

Meredith, Aubrey, and Danny join you all as you stand behind a set of monitors. Dieter is alone in front of Rob, two large lights keep flashing on either side of him. He goes through a variety of simple poses, putting his hands in his pockets, crossing his arms, and looking at the camera head-on. He laughs for some shots and is serious in others. You could see some of the initial proofs on the monitor and you don’t envy Rob for having to choose which shot to ultimately go with. Dieter looks so handsome in them all.

The day was starting to catch up with you and you realized it’s been a while since you’ve gone to the bathroom and you were about to burst.

“Hey, I’m gonna go pee, I’ll be right back,” you whisper to Indy who gives you a nod.

As you walk out of the restroom you nearly collide with someone.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see yo-...Oh, hi! You’re Belle?”

It was Maria, the reporter you saw at yesterday’s shoot. You introduce yourself with your real name, “Belle is just a nickname,” you laugh.

“Well, it’s nice to meet Dieter’s latest flavor of the week,” she knocks your shoulder with hers as you both walk back to set.

“W-what?” you furrow your brow, a bit confused at what she’s implying.

“Oh, nothing. I’m sure you’ve followed his career over the years dear … never really sticking with one thing too long, even his sobriety,” she says lower so the others can’t hear. "Are you two exclusive? That's not usually how he rolls, you know."

“I. Uh, I…”

“Hey, Maria. Can I help you with something?” Liz cuts in, giving you an apologetic look and ushering Maria away.

“You ok?” Indy is by your side quickly and you recount the quick, but bizarre encounter. “Well, she can get a one-way ticket to Fuck Off Mountain. I see the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. This isn’t a temporary thing.”

Suddenly this sense of panic starts to wash over you. Were you really just a temporary thing? What if you weren’t enough for Dieter, or what he really wanted? You were so different from what his “type” had been over the years. What if this didn’t work out? What even is this between the two of you?

It was becoming harder and harder to breathe, you felt like you couldn’t take a full breath which makes you even more anxious. You want to sprint away, hide, scream, and cry all at the same time.

Dieter was still in front of the camera, but you know he would be able to read your face if he caught a glimpse of you, so you have to leave.

“I need to get out of here,” you whisper to Indy.

She takes one look at you and grabs you by the arm, “C’mon, let’s go to my trailer, get you some water. Have you eaten today?”

You shake your head, “I had a malasada earlier with Sam but that’s it.”

Indy sighs and rubs your back as you both quickly walk to her trailer. She pulls out her phone with her other hand and sends a voice note to Ari to bring some lunch to her trailer.

“The malasada you had, tell me about it, how’d it taste? It’s what Kalani brings, right?”

You know what Indy is doing, trying to take your mind off of things and focus on something else. The panic stays at bay as you humor her and talk through the textures and flavors of the treat.

The two of you reach her trailer, a place of safety where you finally let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding in. Indy doesn’t say anything as you sit on the bed, your elbows on your knees as you breathe.

“What if I’m not good enough,” you finally whisper.

“Excuse me?” you look up to see Indy staring at you dumbfounded. “B, you know I love you and I’ll support you through whatever but sometimes you need some tough love,” she crouches down in front of you. “How could you say you aren’t good enough?”

“Well, I don’t have a great track record,” you mutter, starting at the floor.

“Dieter isn’t Ryan. Don’t do this self-sabotage shit, you know it doesn’t go well. Besides what Ryan did to you all of those years, it had nothing to do with you. That was all him.”

You sigh, knowing she’s right.

Dieter felt like he was on top of the world having his girl there to watch him. Although he wasn’t as vain as other actors, he still knew he looked good, especially today. He made a mental note to tell Meredith to do his hair like this again sometime after he saw the way Belle’s eyes widened at the sight of him.

Flash. Snap. Flash. Snap.

The lights are blinding. Everyone huddled by the monitor looks like one big blob, but he can still pick out Belle among them.

“Ok Dee, let’s try a few this way,” Rob directs him in a few different poses.

Flash. Snap. Flash. Snap.

“Looking great, Dee, a few this way. Gimme that look you know makes the panties drop,” Rob laughs.

Flash. Snap. Flash. Snap.

Dieter looks over and can’t immediately pick out Belle anymore.

Flash. Snap. Flash. Snap.

Rob goes through some standard poses and Dieter obliges.

“Alright, I think we’re good for now. Good job man,” he reaches out to shake Dieter’s hand.

“Thanks, good working with you Rob,” Dieter gives a polite but stiff smile.

Aubrey swoops in to grab the jacket off of Dieter before he stops her and does it himself. “Great job, Dee. These photos are going to be so hot,” she winks.

“Thanks,” he looks past her and realizes that Belle and Indy are both gone. Assuming she had to go get Indy ready for another scene, Dieter calms down a bit.

“I need to talk to you,” Liz bounces over, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to a corner.

“I know I look good, Liz, but now’s not the time,” he smirks.

She rolls her eyes. “Seriously Dee, it’s about Belle.” He immediately straightens up. “She’s ok, well, physically I think…I guess…I.” She stops and takes a deep breath to collect herself. “I’m pretty sure Maria intercepted her on the way back from the bathroom. Now, I have no idea what the fuck she told Belle, but she came back white as a ghost.”

“Fuuuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, where is she?” Dieter pulls out his phone, firing off a text. “What the fuck, Lizzie. What could Maria have possibly said.”

“I don’t know, but we have to be on high alert right now while we go to the interview. I feel like she’s going to drop some bullshit question on you. So just, try and breathe and not fly off the handle, ok?”

Dieter drops his chin, looking up at Liz with a skeptical look. “You and I both know that’s not going to happen.”

The interview with Maria was a bit tense. Dieter wasn’t being rude, or at least as rude as Liz knew he could be, but he wasn’t his usual warm, affable self. Maria sensed his shift in demeanor and kept her questions very high level about the show and even asked about Indy and Sam. Liz held her breath each time Maria opened her mouth to ask a question, nervous about the direction she would go in.

“Ok, so we’re just about done, I hope I can ask a couple of more questions…off the record.” She switches off her recorder and closes her notebook.

Dieter furrows his brow, “What, do I know some classified information or something?” He chuckles looking over to Liz who sat up in her seat.

“Ha, funny. No, I believe you’re coming up on five years in your latest sobriety journey. How does that feel?”

“Oh ah, good. I’m not proud of a lot of things I’ve done in my life, but this is something I’m proud of. I feel a lot…clearer, more honest in my interactions with people.”

“Do you think it’ll stick this time?”

Dieter is taken aback, cocking his head to the side and before he can retort, Liz jumps to his aid, “What the fuck, Maria. What kind of question is that? I think we’re done here, Dee.” She motions for him to stand up as he sits frozen in his seat staring off into the distance.

“Just curious, I know your fans are proud of you Dieter. I would hate for anything or anyone to knock you off your path is all.”

“What are you getting at?” he hisses through clenched teeth, trying his hardest to not lose his shit as he feels Liz’s hand on his shoulder.

Maria holds up her hands in surrender, “Oh nothing Dieter. Just, you seem really smitten with that young lady…the makeup artist? Does she know about your past? Would be a shame for her to get spooked and want to run is all.”

“She’s none of your business,” he points a finger at her but still keeps his tone eerily calm. “We’re done here.” He looks directly at Liz and turns on his heel, grabbing his phone.

“Thank you, Ari,” you manage a smile as you sip on some soup she brought.

When Ari received a voice note from Indy to bring some lunch she wasn’t quite sure what to do so she brought a variety of items along. You didn’t have much of an appetite, you could go long periods without eating. But, you decided to humor Indy since she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Soup seemed like the easiest option since it required the least amount of effort to eat.

“Your phone is blowing up.”

“Oh shit.” You open up your phone to see a couple of missed calls from Dieter along with a series of texts from him growing more and more frantic as you didn’t respond.

You hear three quick knocks on the door to Indy’s trailer. She gets up to open it, “Hey Dee, yeah she’s back here.”

Indy moves aside to let Dieter walk into the trailer and he’s crouching down in front of you within seconds, his hands cupping your face. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you,” he tries to smile, but he looks panicked, almost scared to see your reaction.

“Hey, s-sorry I left I-”

“Hey Ari, why don’t we wait outside,” Indy interrupts to give you and Dieter some privacy.

You look up to see Indy give you an encouraging smile as she closes the door. You turn to look at Dieter as his big brown puppy dog eyes scan your face.

“I’m sorry I left baby, I, I got … I felt like I was having a panic attack and I don’t know why,” you look up and see his face soften at the term of endearment you used. “I hadn’t really eaten today so that never really helps my mood and then … I don’t know it was a quick spiral.”

“Hey, it’s ok,” he rubs his thumb along your cheekbone, which you lean into. “Did Maria say something out of line? I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Dieter, I…I…"

You lunge forward and wrap your arms around his neck, hugging him like he was going to blow away. He’s caught by surprise, but you feel his arms come around your lower back, matching the pressure you’re exerting on your embrace.

The two of you stay like this for a moment, neither one sure what to say next. You nuzzle your nose into the crook of his neck, breathing in the clean, citrusy smell of whatever combination of hair products Meredith used.

“Look, Belle, I know I don’t have the best history. Hell, you probably know a lot more about my past than I realize. I'm not oblivious to the fact that I’ve been in the public eye for the last 20 years. But I don’t want people filling your head with thoughts and ideas of who I used to be.”

“I know about the drugs, Dieter. That doesn’t bother me.”

“That’s not all of it.”

“I know you’ve been pretty uh…that you're pretty um, experienced.”

He shifts to sit next to you, turning so he’s facing you with one leg bent and resting on the bed. “Look,” he grabs your hands and can’t meet your eyes at first before he finally takes a deep breath and looks at you. “I’ve done some bad shit over the years. I can sit here and rationalize it away saying I was young and dumb or having a moment of weakness or, hell, blame it on the drugs. After a while, I started to wonder if it was…me. If I'm just a bad person.” He bites his lower lip as he takes another deep breath.

“What kind of bad things?” You were almost scared to ask.

“I’ve…uh, I haven’t always been the most faithful in the past,” your breath hitches, "it was a long time ago, but it still doesn’t excuse it. I know that's probably a giant fucking red flag because of your ex but I don’t want you thinking I would ever ever do anything like that to you. I'm in such a better place now but I just keep getting judged on my past. I know everyone thinks I'm not capable of staying clean or having a healthy, stable relationship, but I want to keep trying."

You swallow hard, trying to keep the panic at bay.

“Can you say something?” He asks with tears welling in his eyes.

“I…I don’t know what to say.” Suddenly your trepidation was realized. As sweet as Dieter has been, this part about his past makes you nervous given your history and insecurities.

“Look, I don’t want to freak you out and tell you that I love you,” your mouth goes dry as he says this. “But I am falling in love with you, and I can’t stop it. Hell, I've done more than fall. I’ve tumbled and am rolling down the hill," he gives a small chuckle. "And I know you feel it, this…us…too. When I kiss you, it's better than any high I've ever experienced in my life. And the way you look at me sometimes? Makes me feel like I'm fucking invincible. I just don’t want you to give up on me and leave.”

This all felt heavier than you were anticipating. You didn't think you'd be confessing your feelings to each other so soon, and frankly, you were in awe of Dieter's words. He was being so transparent and raw, so you wanted to try and let him in a bit.

“I care about you a lot Dieter,” you finally break the silence, but unable to meet his eyes. "And I'm not going to lie and say that I'm even more scared now of…this. Of us. What are we even?"

"Look, I'm not the best at relationships, but I want to try…you make me want to even though I'm scared."

"You're scared?" Now you meet his eyes.

"Fuck yes. How could I not be? You're beautiful, smart, funny, and so fucking good at what you do. You're brilliant and talented. And I just have all of this…darkness…in my past. I know I'm a lot, I come on too strong, but I don't want you to realize what a fuck up I've been and walk away."

You grab his face with your hands, stroking his stubble. "How can you think this way about yourself? You've made so much progress over the last few years. I obviously didn't know you then, but I want you to know how proud of you I am," he gave a half smile. "I care about you a lot, Dieter. You're really special to me too. What scares me isn't you, it's me. I'm not cut out for this, for you. And I'm not trying to think too far ahead but if this just ends here in Hawaii, I'm not sure how I'd…go about life without you."

“Well, I think it may be a little late for that. I can’t turn back, not now.” He grabs your hand as you look in his eyes. "You know earlier when Meredith called you my girl? That made me feel so…important. What we have is…I don't wanna fuck it up."

"I feel the same," you smile as you see his eyes light up. "It might take me a little more time, but I want this, I want…us. But if having a label freaks you out…"

He cuts you off with a kiss before getting up to lock the door.

“Seems like we both like to overthink shit," he smiles. "Let’s not think for a bit and just enjoy this.”

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

A/N: So fun fact, on my last trip to Kauai I discovered masaladas and became obsessed with them. Writing this chapter made me Google where I can find some close to me. Also, did I make Dieter look like Tim Rockford on purpose for his scene with Sam? Yes. Yes, I did and I hope you enjoyed that visual.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate all of the kind comments, reblogs, and likes … it makes my day!

Tag list: @musings-of-a-rose / @legendary-pink-dot / @bitchwitch1981 / @mysterious-moonstruck-musings / @gracie7209 / @amneris21 / @pastelnap / @maryfanson / @sunnywithachanceofjavi / @sin-djarin / @winchestergypsy90 / @for-a-longlongtime /@harriedandharassed / @titlee78 / @midnightraain / @poodlebae / @partyofone3413 / @guelyury

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fanfic #working title fic #dieter bravo x you #pedro pascal fanfic

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eelfuneral · 9 months

Text

Some of the discussion that happens within the Star Wars fandom, particularly discussion of the Jedi, can be really upsetting to observe if you have certain disabilities. In fact, I’m having a hard time even liking the Jedi right now because I can’t help but associate them with some really ableist takes that I’ve seen in their defense.

Let me explain: a lot of people with certain disabilities (such as autism, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and C-PTSD) deal with something called emotion dysregulation, which means that you feel emotions more intensely than the average person and that this strong emotional state sticks around for far longer than it should. When you have emotional regulation issues, an event that might make somebody else a bit sad or mildly frustrated has the ability to put you out of commission for hours or even an entire day. Emotion dysregulation is very stigmatized, even in people who go out of their way to avoid harming people or lashing out while dealing with an episode. People with this specific issue are often told that they are “dramatic”, “attention seeking”, or “future abusers” for what amounts to an automatic emotional response that a person cannot control. This constant pushback forms a metaphorical blister that can easily be popped back open when you see anything that reminds you of what caused it in the first place.

Now, let’s move on to the Jedi. While it can be argued that their teachings were intended to instruct people to reign in their BEHAVIOR as a result of their emotions, several lines in the fist six movies sound an awful lot like they are condemning having negative emotions at all. Yoda literally tells both Luke and Anakin that emotions like fear and anger BY THEMSELVES are of the Dark Side, and these lines were very difficult for a lot of people who have dealt with trauma, neurodivergence, or other issues that cause “big emotions”. These lines, intentionally or not, mirror a lot of the things that real people have said to those of us dealing with emotion dysregulation, and people have every right to talk about this in their own spaces unmolested.

Some of the defenses of the Jedi in the context of how they are instructed to deal with their emotions come off as dismissive at best and ableist at worst. Yes, if you dig through Star Wars canon enough, you can find portrayals of the Jedi and emotions that point to a more nuanced view where choices and actions are the source of evil rather than the emotions, but this does not change the fact that the Yoda lines and other emotionally repressive applications of the Jedi Code very much exist in parts of canon. A person who found the emotionally repressive variant of Jedi teachings to be upsetting due to a disability will likely feel as though you are trying to dismiss their feelings and belittle them if you “correct” them for “misinterpretation of the Jedi”. I get that it sucks to see people bash your blorbos, but if someone is doing it because they are dealing with something IRL like trauma or ableism, then it’s best not to engage and just let that person work through it.

I have also seen people who are defending the Jedi make statements that outright attack people for having intense emotions. I remember a take that basically said that you were a baby or a psychopath if you found the Jedi code regarding emotions to be “too hard”. I’ve seen people dismiss the trauma that Anakin went through and its possible effect on how he reacted to some aspects of the Jedi order in a way that mirrors the invalidation that those of us with emotional regulation issues have experienced for being “too much” for all of our lives. Yes, it is important to avoid harming others when you are in a bad place, and no Anakin was not a great person, but so many of these takes are devoid enough of nuance that they read as if they are just trashing people who have “too many”emotions.

Feel free to defend your favorite characters all that you would like, but please spare a thought for those of us who might not dig everything about them for reasons connected to disability and trauma. The Jedi aren’t real, but we very much are.

#jedi critical #fandom ableism

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awakenedsalamander · 7 months

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Alright, so I’ve obviously given Mage and Vampire some attention. It’s about time I talk about Werewolf: The Apocalypse, you know, round out the “big three.”

Truth be told, I have kind of a love/hate relationship with Werewolf, though that kinda implies it’s an even split of things I enjoy and things I don’t, but that’s not quite correct.

A more accurate breakdown of my feelings would be something like:

- 60% stuff I really love and appreciate

- 20% stuff I go back and forth on

- 15% stuff I dislike but can tolerate (pretty standard for WoD)

- 5% stuff I really, truly, passionately loathe

And it’s honestly that last 5% that I struggle with most. To be clear, a lot of the WoD games have things in them I don’t just dislike, but find sincerely objectionable or harmful. (A certain Vampire sourcebook, the title of which I can’t even comfortably write out, immediately comes to mind.) But I get past those things, because 1) no work of art is morally flawless, and your tastes as a hobbyist or audience member are not your ethics as a human being and 2) a lot of that stuff is from the older editions and has largely been divorced from the game.

So what’s different about Werewolf?

Well, some of it lies in point 2— there are things in Werewolf that are bad and (barring the controversy of 5th Edition’s lore changes, which is a whole other kettle of fish that I’d rather not dive into right now) are still part of the game. Improved somewhat? Absolutely. But the ugliness of some choices still haunts the game.

The ways Werewolf: The Apocalypse talks about native peoples, from Indigenous Australians to First Nations Americans, is a big example. I don’t feel it prudent for me to go into those details, if only because I think it’s not my lane and voices from those cultures should really lead those discussions, but the game has a very weird attitude toward indigenous groups— at one recognizing their history and the atrocities they’ve come through with respect, while still finding ways to exoticize that history, and appropriate much of it. To say nothing of the ways in which it feels comfortable speaking over indigenous groups, even in matters of their rights.

That’s just one example. There’s the way Werewolf conceptualizes ethnicity and ancestry in general, which is weirdly archaic in places despite seemingly trying to criticize that view. There’s its approach to disability and bodies that differ from an assumed norm, which as many have observed can sometimes come across as genuinely eugenicist on occasion.

And of course, the game is about monsters— you’re not meant to agree with the Garou on much of their beliefs, and you’re meant to engage with those very real issues and wrestle with the right way forward.

And honestly? That last part— the reality of the issues at hand— that’s what makes the bad parts of Werewolf so hard to look past. You know, the other games in the World of Darkness deal with real world issues, but they do so in a fairly abstract way. Like, sure I can and do identity the Technocracy of Mage with destructive and cruel systems of power in the real world, but like… there isn’t actually a league of hypereconomists using secret math to influence the fate of the world. That’s just an exaggerated and metaphorical way to engage with the problems at the heart of a late-capitalist world.

But Pentex? Pentex is basically real. The Apocalypse in Werewolf: The Apocalypse is climate change. It’s happening now. When the game tells you that you need to Rage against the dying of Gaia… that’s almost as literal as it gets. And that makes its fumbles, its mistakes, and yes, its deliberate offenses, harder to swallow. The stakes are high enough that when things are wrong, it really hurts.

But… let’s also acknowledge: The reality I’m talking about it? It’s what makes that 60% stuff I like so amazing. The lows of Werewolf are hard to stomach, but the highs are just… exhilarating.

Like, Werewolf is a game that says, “You see the state of the world? You see its monstrous past? Its insidious present that only hides the horror? Do you see the doomed future its on a crash course with? Let’s take it, and let’s rip it to fucking shreds. It these tyrants and thieves want to kill the world, then we’ll kill them first, if that’s what it takes. If the Apocalypse happens, it happens on our terms, on the terms of the people being victimized and shoved to the margins. You and I? We’re gonna build a better world or die trying. All our anger might ruin us, but we have to try. The consequences of our actions are dire, but we don’t go down without making the bastards work for it. Not without a fight.”

And fuck, when the game is saying that? It’s priceless.

In fact, this has all been too down on Werewolf as a whole. I want to get my problems with the game out front, just to acknowledge them and keep space for the critique and change that they demand, but at the end of the day, I am a Werewolf: The Apocalypse fan (if one with a lot of notes). I want to do something a little unusual and show you an outline for an Apocalypse chronicle I haven’t yet had the chance to run, to show you what I love about the game.

So, stay tuned for a glimpse into that later— a glimpse into “Blood Ripples Out.”

#wod #world of darkness #werewolf the apocalypse

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cupoftaae · 1 year

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also could you write one where tae and y/n had a small fight before a party, but they still decide to go, then y/n drinks way too much bc of the fight, and then taehyung takes care of her and they make up the next morning or smth like thatt 😊 I love your writing!🫶🏻

OOO I love me some angst, *rubs hands together*

Thank for the suggestion, and thank you for reading my writing, it means a lot to me anon <3

word count- 2.1k

warnings- alcohol consumption, body image issues, a fight and some yelling/swearing. wicked hangover and mention of vomit.

Enjoy!!

"I dont understand why you are freaking out, y/n. You look fine"

Taehyung sat on the end of your bed while you stood in the bathroom, rambling about yourself. "because, we are already late and im not really in the mood to go to this party. I hate the way I look in this dress, nothing is working out" you exhale, a tear falling down your cheek as you attempt to curl your hair.

Both of you were getting ready to go to Yoongi and his girlfriend's engagement party, something that has been in the works for months and is finally happening.

You knew you were already a half an hour late, which looks bad not only for tae, but you too, considering you and Yoongi's girlfriend, Jihyo, were friends.

"then just stay home" he shrugged, standing to go lean against the doorframe to the bathroom.

"oh yeah just that easy, let me miss my friends party" you sarcastically spoke. "bet you would like that, to go alone because you are so ashamed of me" you went on, spraying hairspray.

Taehyung ran his hands over his face. He loves you, he really does, but its impossible to convince you to see the bright side of things when you got in your head like this.

you slammed down the can of hairspray and stormed out of the bathroom, bumping into taehyung on the way out. "you are being way too dramatic right now, its not a big deal." he sternly spoke, turning his entire body to watch you rummage through your shared closet.

you stood and looked back, "oh okay" you laughed sarcastically. "you are a man, you dont have to think about yourself the way I do" you huff and walk towards the mirror.

"im tired of looking like this, I want to just be able to put something on and feel beautiful for once" you whisper while running your hands over the front of your dress.

"I think you look sexy" taehyung mindlessly shrugged, making you scoff. "God, thats all you think about, huh?" you shot back.

"What? no-"

"lately you've been incredibly invalidating of how I feel and i'm sick of it"

"How the fuck am I invalidating? Im trying to help, Y/N!!"

"no, you arent. you think you are, but you dismiss what I say, every time I fucking open my mouth Taehyung." you yell, grabbing your purse and walking to the door as your boyfriend followed.

"fine then I will just not talk" he mumbled, making you roll your eyes at his childish behavior. "Yeah, you do that. In fact, dont talk to me all night." you mutter and turn to head for the car, leaving taehyung to follow.

He didnt mean to upset you, he really didnt. He just doesnt understand what you couldnt like about yourself. Perhaps there were better ways to approach you regarding this topic, but right now, the priority was at least showing up to the party before yoongi or Jihyo gets upset.

The car ride remained silent the entire time Taehyung drove. You looked out the window and had slapped his hand away the moment he tried to reach out and squeeze your leg lovingly.

He just doesnt get it, he doesnt understand how you feel, and its not like you can talk it out with him because he always shoots back some fucking stupid line thats is supposedly trying to make you "feel better". Its getting old, and the only thing you wanted to do right now was be away from your boyfriend.

Once you both had arrived at the party, Taehyung parked the car along the curb with the other guests vehicles. You hopped out the moment the car came to a stop, practically skipping inside and leaving him in the dust. He scoffed and locked the car, getting out and walking in at his own pace.

"Y/N!" Jihyo smiled and ran over once she saw you inside her home.

You pushed through some of the guests and made your way over to your friend, hugging her affectionately. "Hi, congratulations! im sorry Im late" you pout and pull away to see her. "No worries love, is taehyung coming too?" she asks, pulling you into the kitchen.

"mhm...unfortunately" you laugh and grab a cracker off the snack plate. "unfortunately?" Jihyo smiles and nudges you. "yeah. We had a fight before we got here" you whisper to her, eyes darting to see Taehyung walk into the living room with a wide boxy smile as he greeted everyone.

"Ohhh.." she nods, understanding. "Im sorry, hun" she rubs your arm. "its ok, I just need alcohol." you joke, making her laugh as she dragged you into Yoongi's wine room, something he was immensely proud (and pretentious) of.

"I think he wont mind If we use this one" Jihyo spoke, reaching for the top bottle and bringing it back into the kitchen for the both of you.

"Taehyung!!" Yoongi cheered, walking back downstairs to see his friend standing in the living room. He hands him a bottle of beer and hugs him.

"Hyung! Congrats again, you and Jihyo have a very lovely home. Its changed so much since last July when I visited." He smiled, thanking him for the beer as they engaged in conversation. "Thank you, we renovated the kitchen and expanded it, wanna see?" he asked with excitement, tae nodded, following him.

"yeah so then I came home and he just kind of blurted it out, it was really sweet and intimate, I actually preferred it over a public proposal." you watched as your friend refilled your glass, telling you the story of how Yoongi proposed.

"ah, Jihyo thats so sweet" you put your hand over your chest, taking another sip as you lean against the counter. "I hope I get to experience that"

"taehyung is a sweet guy, i have no doubts he will pull out all the stops for you" she smiled

"hm?" taehyung mummers, walking in and hearing his name.

your eyes dart open, mad he had found you. "yoongi!" you walk over and hug him, congratulating him.

"Y/n! its nice to see you again, been way too long" he laughed and patted your back. "do you like the kitchen? he cuts, Taehyung watching as you sip on your wine.

"its lovely!!"

"indeed" taehyung adds on, stepping in front of yoongi to stand behind you.

"hes always talking about his kitchen" Jihyo giggled and walked up to her fiance, hugging him. "well yeah it was a lot of work" he shrugged and laughed

you smile as you watch them both be cute little shits, reluctantly turning when you feel your boyfriends hand tickling your lower back. "what??" you bit, making his hands raise in defense.

"youre still mad?....baby..cmon" he whined, trying to pull you into his embrace but you step back and leave the kitchen, going to have fun with the other guests in the living room.

yoongi pulls away from his soon to be wife and raises his eyebrows, full of questions. "they had a fight" jihyo giggled and patted his chest, walking out of the room as well.

"ah jihyo, wait" Taehyung runs up, whispering

"hm?" she turns

"make sure she doesnt drink too much, please?" he asked with serious eyes, making her nod. "shes a big girl, I think she will be okay but yes, ill keep an eye on her" she smiled

"thank you, shes not usually a drinker but tends to overdo it sometimes when shes angry..."he spoke, laughing a bit at the end.

Jihyo giggled, "gotcha"

he looked over at you hugging your friend and dancing slightly. you looked so beautiful and all he wanted to do was wrap you up in his arms and kiss you, but he couldn't. He needed to apologize for hurting your feelings, but there was no way you would even let him go near you to do so.

He sighed and sat down, accepting another beer as he silently ate chips.

"IM A GROWN WOMAN, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!!!!" you slurr-sing as you and your friend Chae sing along to karaoke after having a few drinks.

most of the guests had left, and it was nearing midnight, so the remaining party-goers were you, Taehyung, Chae, namjoon and Jungkook.

Taehyung was ready to tap out. He was exhausted, and didnt think he was going to be here this long. The only reason he still is, is well, you. He sat on the couch between yoongi and jungkook, fighting sleep as he watched you let loose with your friends.

You still hadnt talked to him for the majority of the party, but somewhere deep down he was actually glad to see you happy for the first time today.

Jihyo giggled and ran back downstairs as she watched them sing, sitting next to yoongi. He sternly looked at her, "what did she drink?" he asked, taehyung leaning over to look at jihyo as well.

She smiled and mumbled, "some wine..."

yoongi sat up "what wine?"

"your....wine..."she tried not to giggle as taehyung glared. "I told you to not let her drin-" taehyung was cut off as you ran over and sat on him.

He blushed and lightly placed his hands around you, "you ok?" he asked, "im tired" you yell, meaning to whisper but failing to do so.

"okay baby...you wanna go home? good job singing by the way"

you sat up immediately and crossed your arms. "im supposed to be mad at you" you slurred, turning to walk away but stumbling and almost falling, "be careful!" tae spoke, jumping up.

"Ill be whatever I want!" you bite back.

"i think we are gonna go, im sorry guys" tae spoke, holding you up by your arm.

"nono dont apologize please, its late and you guys stayed long enough" yoongi laughed, "yes go take care of y/n, shes gonna feel that tomorrow im sure"

Tae smiled and picked you up gently, managing to get you into the car outside without a fight.

"we are going home now ok?" he whispers as he drives safely down the street. you dont talk, rather mumble in response to everything. Once you are outside your apartment, he holds you up the stairs as he puts his key into the door.

"uehhhh" you whine and pull away, leaning off the railing and suddenly throwing up. "oh!" tae drops his key and runs over, rubbing your back and pushing your hair out of the way until you were done.

"im never drinking again" you slur and fall against him. "i know baby" he consoles, picking his key up and getting you inside to help clean you up and get into bed.

Once he managed to get you into the bathroom, he carefully put you on top of the counter as he changed you into you pajamas. you remained staring with a mean glare, making him laugh.

"what?" he smiled and put one of his old tshirts over your head and onto your body.

"Im mad at you"

"ok...we can talk about it tomorrow ok?" he sighed and washed your face with a cloth before ushering you into bed. he placed Tylenol and water on the bedside table and got close to you, beginning to talk but realizing you were already asleep.

he smiled and cuddled into you, falling asleep eventually.

The next morning, Taehyung was awoken by the sounds of you throwing up in the bathroom. He rushed out of bed to be by your side, knowing how much you hated getting sick.

"you ok, baby?" he whispers, watching you lean back against him on the bathroom floor, groaning.

"I shouldnt have drank so much"

he hums and runs his hand through your hair, kissing your head.

its silent for a moment.

"Im sorry for being such a dick yesterday, it was wrong and I should have been more understanding"

you grab his hand with yours, shaking your head. "its ok, I was also being irrational and mean. you are a good boyfriend, tae" you closed your eyes and breathed deeply, feeling lingering nausea.

"I love you" he spoke

"I love you too" you managed to smile.

"no more fighting?"

"no more fighting" you nodded.

he kissed your hand. "if we ever get into another fight just know I have you singing beyonce at the party on video, blackmail for days"

you whipped around, "no...."

"yes...."

"I will cut your dick off if you do that, watch it, kim" you glare, making him laugh. "now get out, before I puke on you"

#taehyung smut #taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #kim taehyung fanfic #bts fluff #bts smut #bts #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts v #tae x reader #taehyung drabble #tae fic #tae drabble #tae fluff #tae smut #taehyung series

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lurkingshan · 4 months

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For a ship Dean and Pharm.

Please and thank you.

Another complicated one! Thanks for sending, anon. Let me just put on my protective gear because @bengiyo will be getting his bat.

Okay, so here is the deal with me and Until We Meet Again: it's a great show, I like it a lot, but I do have some issues with it (namely the pacing and also... Pharm's characterization).

So here is my thing about Pharm, and why it colors the ship for me: I really, truly, deeply hate the blushing maiden trope. Like, BIG TIME. And Pharm is the quintessential blushing maiden. That kiss above? Where he is cringeing even though he is engaging in a desired kiss with the boyfriend he loves? Yeah. DISLIKE.

And it's made worse because it's directly contrasted with Intouch. Now, before you start yelling, let me just say that I GET IT. Pharm's reluctance around physical intimacy, his timidity, his quieter approach to life and romance is a direct trauma response to what happened to Intouch after he dared to live a bolder, freer, more openly gay and sexual life. There is a clear narrative purpose to the contrast and I respect that.

However, the show lost me a little when they had Pharm cringeing and shying away even in private moments with Dean, even after they were in love, even after they had already had sex. It felt like the narrative was singling out sex as the reason for Korn and Intouch's downfall, rather than just the fact of their queerness. I wanted to see more of an evolution there for Pharm, and while it got a little better by the end, it never entirely went away, and that felt more about sticking to bad old yaoi sex negativity and heteronormative tropes for ukes than it did about the story. I really just didn't vibe with it. It will always keep me from loving Dean and Pharm unreservedly as a couple even as I consider this show among the best Thai bls out there.

Send me a ship and I'll share my thoughts about it

#until we meet again #thai bl #ask game #shan answers

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 3 months

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What do you make of the Zuts who claim that Kataang fans are mean to them? Every ship has toxic fans, so I'm not saying it didn't happen, but the worst vitriol generally seems to come from the ZK side of things and KA fans are more frequently defending themselves (and Aang).

They're absolutely right about the Kataang fandom having it's own bad apples. I have seen some of them attacking Zutara fans, unprovoqued, just for liking a popular fanon alternative to their OTP, which is very childish and pathetic.

Here's the thing though. Like you guys know, while I was never into Zutara, also wasn't always into Kataang. During four of my nearly six years of truly being part of the ATLA fandom, I didn't hate either ship, but I didn't really care for them, and I was not shy about saying it.

And not once did I get death/rape threats or "kill yourself" messages from Kataang fans, not even when I was saying stuff like "I don't think their romance would last" or "I think the show would still work if they were just friends" (and that last point I still agree with). Nor was I told I clearly only didn't like Kataang because I had internalized misogyny or was against interacial relationships - like a cartoon couple could have anything to do with real world issues.

Whenever I read a fic that happened to have Kataang as one of the main pairings (like some fics for Maiko, a ship I always liked), the author never went out of their way to make Zuko, or any other character except sometimes Jet, look like an absolute monster just to make Kataang look better, or force a pairing to happen just to "get Zuko out of the way". Same for the metas about the show.

Whenever I saw fanart or fanfics for ships like Toph X Aang or Haru X Katara, I did not see dozens and dozens of "Ew, gross! Kataang 4ever!" or "This is really pretty, too bad is for an awful pairing, it'd be so much better if it was Kataang instead." Not once was I sent a "Even if you don't ship Kataang, this other ship is just objectively awful" ask just minutes after saying "I don't like Kataang, but I do ship Katara with Haru and even Jet"

Not once was did I ever a Kataang fan repeatedly tell me I should stop writting about my OTP and replace it with Kataang, or write both together, after I had already said I didn't like that ship and was not interested in writting anything except my OTP. Not once was any of metas that were COMPLETELY unrelated to Kataang, often not even mentioning either of the two characters, derrailed into being someone's "If you don't support my ship, you make the story worse" post.

More importantly, I could criticize the bad behavior I DID see from some Kataang fans, and be met with support from other Kataang shippers that were also annoyed at it, instead of having them deny it ever happened, or going "But what about what Zutara fans do?" do deflect, or saying "Don't generalize, we're not ALL like that!" even though that was not what I said.

Meanwhile every single one of these things happened when it came to Zutara fans. Repeatedly. To me, to my friends, to friends or my friends, to people I didn't interact with much, to people I didn't like very much. To people that shipped Kataang, Maiko, Jetara, Toko, etc. For God's sake, these people call the showrunners pedophilies just out of spite for not having their OTP become canon.

The Kataang fandom has bad apples, and like any large group, it can sometimes have TONS of bad apples. But a very big portion of that same fandom clearly doesn't approve of it and tries to keep them in check.

The Zutara fandom meanwhile often seems to go out of it's way to have ONLY bad apples, to the point that I constantly get asks from shippers that say they can't engage with the fandom anymore because people "on their side" are a nightmare to deal with. All because they seem to believe they can bully their way into being canon.

The situations are not at all comparable.

#anti zutara #pro kataang

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raytorosaurus · 2 years

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can you pls explain to me what happened on tbp tour? i know the recording was bleak with the haunted manor and all that, but i keep hearing little things about the tour and i can't seem to find any information on google?? like some ppl on here have mentioned some things about frank's health and that he was on pills so idk if it was a drug issue or a chronic illness thing?? i think g and mikey suffered a lot of mental health stuff?? just please gimme the run down?! i love u

okay so this might get a little long so i’m putting it under a cut but basically in summary: they are insane. they’d already put themselves through a lot of emotional pressure writing the album in a haunted mansion where their producer was encouraging psychological warfare among them, and then they threw themselves into a LONG and gruelling tour and honestly made it as difficult for themselves as possible every step of the way. they were dealing with mental and physical illness and they pushed way past the point of exhaustion. they were reaching major life milestones (all of them got engaged at least once, three of them got married) but spending entire years away from home. they became the face of a subculture they didn’t particularly feel like they had anything in common with, and then they got some really bad press that was extremely demoralising because it wasn’t about the music, it was about the actual message of the band, which had been twisted and misinterpreted.

but if you want more detail (cw for sh & sui ments):

so the page for this tour got taken down from wikipedia for some reason but it’s archived here and it’ll give you an impression of just how huge this tour was. legs kept getting added on to the tour because they thought this was the band’s, like, one big chance to take over the world so they didn’t want to say no to anything because they thought that’s what the album deserved. at the start of it they effectively played two sets a night - the black parade front to back and then some revenge and bullets songs as an extended encore. they did it all in thick, non-breathable wool jackets and trousers, and they did it six nights a week with almost no breaks - basically the only breaks they did get were when they were travelling between continents lol. the wiki page i linked lists the dates of the tour proper, but they were also playing album launch shows in multiple countries in the months before it fully kicked off. the spot that looks like they had a nice long break between july and october was actually almost fully taken up by pro rev LOL.

gerard and ray were actually the only members who made it through the full tour. cortez filled in for both mikey and frank at different times. mikey left fairly early - in april 2007, after getting married to alicia backstage after their show in vegas in march. he left for a honeymoon and didn’t come back until september for the final couple shows of pro rev. he also opened up a bit about how hard 2006 had been on his mental health while they were writing the album, so the break was much-needed. frank left a couple of times for shorter stretches, once because of an illness in his family and once because he had a wisdom tooth complication and couldn’t fly to australia. also, yeah, the constant touring took a toll on his physical health at times and he wouldn’t take breaks when he needed them - i’m sure you’ve seen the pictures of him onstage attached to an oxygen tank. bob was recovering from third-degree burns at first and then had persistent issues with chronic pain in his wrist and had to take a couple of months off playing or risk permanently disabling himself, and for at least most of those dates he was replaced by tucker from thursday. beyond that they did have to cancel several dates in may 2007 because everyone except frank and gerard (including most of their crew and the band muse) got terrible food poisoning from some catering chicken (frank escaped because he’s vegan and gerard because he slept through catering that day lol).

projekt revolution saw the band, like...really fucking exhausted. at that point they’d started getting kind of sick of playing the characters of the black parade. ray in particular talked about feeling disconnected from their audiences because of the uniforms and burned out by the repetition (this article’s pretty interesting because ray doesn’t talk about that aspect of the band very often in public). so for the festival shows they gave up playing parade in full and doing two sets every night for a bit, but now they were playing in extreme heat with a shit tonne of pyrotechnics lol. pro rev was meant to be the end of the tour, but they added a couple of extra shows in mexico to ritualistically kill off the black parade because i would expect no less from this band (that was october 7 2007, which is when the black parade is dead was filmed). and then they added another leg, and another...and they essentially ended up doing what basically amounted to a second full world tour without ever stopping the first one lol. it wasn’t only long but also so over-the-top in terms of theatrics and staging that they barely even broke even financially at the end of it. which is like. crazy. they had five full buses of stage equipment and a sound and lighting system that took five hours to set up and three hours to dismantle every night.

so if you’ve watched the infamous reading & leeds show you’ll recognise the “fuck the daily mail” thing, which is because after tbp came out they published satanic-panic-lite type articles calling mcr a suicide cult that promoted self-harm and stuff. you gotta understand that the emo subculture, whether or not it was connected to mcr, was one of the biggest laughing stocks of the noughties. notably, there were a series of riots and hate-crimes in mexico against “emo” kids (largely due to in actuality to homophobia, of course), and mcr would get asked about it so often that they felt like they were being blamed for it and that they needed to apologise for it. gerard in particular has spoken quite a bit about how much he struggled with feeling like tbp was being misinterpreted and taken out of context when it was such a deeply personal album to him. then things got even worse in may 2008, around the end of the tour, when the daily mail reported on the “emo cult” again, this time explicitly linking the tragic suicide of a 13-year-old girl to mcr. obviously this is, like, the antithesis of everything the band stood for, and they took it really hard. it spiralled even further, with gerard making a public statement about it, fans protesting at the daily mail offices, an inquest into the tragic suicide, and the daily mail doubling down and claiming that mcr should be grateful for the extra “publicity” they were getting from all of this. yeah. there’s a long section detailing all of this in not the life it seems, if you can stomach reading it.

the peak of this kind of aligns with the actual end of the black parade world tour in may 2008 in madison square garden. this is another one of those infamous shows - again, there’s an entire section in not the life it seems dedicated to it. it was a dream come true to play msg, especially for gerard and mikey, but they were completely burned out by that point. apparently the show itself was great and they were full of energy, but gerard was speaking to the crowd like the band was about to break up, and apparently the vibes were not great backstage. frank was so nervous about the show that he took a bunch of pills to get through it and has almost no memory of it. after they left the stage, ray found gerard in a dressing room and advised him to take a break or start another band that nobody knew about so it wouldn’t be the end of mcr for good. apparently gerard wrote boy division in the taxi on the way home after that gig but i can’t remember where i read that now so i might be wrong about that bit.

anyway, then none of them really saw each other for several months. frank started leathermouth because he can’t live without touring (ray played with them once too), but besides that the first time they were together again was for ray’s wedding later that summer. according to himself, brian schechter (their manger up until then) was fired over phone the morning after someone’s wedding so i have to assume it was ray’s given the timing lol (unless it was when gerard and lynz had a little ceremony or whatever, idk when that was).

anyway happy ending at least: they got back in the studio in october 2008 in new york to record desolation row for the watchmen movie and had such an amazing time that ray flew down to la (where gerard had recently moved) and he, gerard, and bob jammed around and wrote four new songs in no time. over the next year or two, the rest of mcr followed gerard to la one by one and started working on conventional weapons and they swore it would be a fun album to write and that they wouldn’t put themselves through the black parade recording process again. anyway then they scrapped it last minute to write danger days instead lol.

but yeah like. i think it’s easy to forget now in 2022 just how huge mcr was during parade era, but how they got completely misinterpreted in bad faith by, like, the media and culture as a whole. it’s probably fairly common for bands like them to be kind of misunderstood in their lifetimes but hailed as visionaries years or decades later, so it’s kind of like really fucking exciting to see mcr actually active again during the time when i feel like they’re finally started to get appreciated for what they really are. which is the greatest band in the world if you ask me but i guess i am a little bit biased <3

#spoilers: it did get a little long #most of this information is a summary of the relevant chapters in not the life it seems btw #hope you see this anon! sorry i know you sent the ask a couple of days ago #answered #mcr history #*

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starsworldd · 4 months

Text

𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚣𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟺 🌺

Happy new year!! 🌟

I use an orb of 3 for all aspects except minor aspects and sextiles in transitory chart 🥰 hope you enjoy!

𝙻𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚛 𝚊𝚜𝚌 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚘𝚏 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚜𝚌 + 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝟻𝚝𝚑:

This is probably indicative of a month where I'll be more in my feels but in a good/happy way, especially with the chart ruler in the 5th (even if it is in its fall). I might be engaging with new hobbies/activities that uplift my mood and maybe do some internal reflection as to how I can be my happiest self (Scorpio moon as the chart ruler). The same thing goes for MC since that’s also in conjunction, so easier time in attaining my long term goals and exploring the next step in my life :).

𝚂𝚞𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝟽𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎 (𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗)

I’ll most likely have an easier time making new friends and connections with others. I have new classes for the semester so I can see this placement tying in with meeting new people, especially being in Capricorn which is a sign that deals with going above and beyond traditional order/customs.

𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕/𝚕𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚛 𝚊𝚜𝚌 + 𝟽𝚑 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚞𝚖:

This placement actually really excites me, Mars is exalted on an angle ruling my 10th and 5th houses so this makes me think that I could get a job offer having to do with music most likely.

As for the overall 7h stellium, this is indicative of a social month, I may be making more connections with others that can help me with musical pursuits (Capricorn). I have Pluto @ 29 degrees which makes me think that there will be some permanent changes being made within my partnerships OR external environment.

𝚅𝚎𝚗𝚞𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚂𝚞𝚗:

This really just adds on to the social aspect, but I could be feeling more cozy and popular this month. I may be getting more attention or compliments than usual too! Being in my natal/lunar 6th house, pleasure and popularity could have to do with the work I do or the adversities I overcome :)

𝙼𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙿𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚘:

Okay so it’s important to note here that Mercury is in its exile, ruling the 3rd and 12th houses in my lunar chart and being in Sagittarius…big indicator for procrastination and not taking care of my health and sleeping schedule.

But being conjunct Pluto means that things could be on the mend because Pluto looks deeper as to how we can solve psychological issues so even though I may be less productive or healthy as I should be, I’m doing some psychological digging as to how I can solve these issues that I’ve been having for awhile.

Sagittarius is a hopeful/optimistic sign so I will probably be feeling pretty good about this even if Mercury isn’t doing so well.

𝙹𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚎:

Another placement I’m very excited for!! I actually had this aspect last year and I was invited to do a music video with someone and was introduced to a new community and met a lot of new people (though Jupiter being in Aries, I never really continued these connections).

But in this chart, Jupiter is @ 5 degrees which is a degree that signifies important changes being made. Being in Taurus this is about resources and expanding comforts, pleasures, “growing the garden”, so I do see myself either furthering connections I have already made or meeting a whole new group/community of people.

With the precense of Uranus in this house too, I could see this having to do with social media as well. Uranus is at a “bad health” degree and retrograde so even if something were to happen on social media or with my friend group or something having to do with other communities it may make me stressed out and not bring about as many breakthroughs as hoped.

𝚅𝚎𝚗𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙹𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 (𝟼𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝟷𝟷𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎):

Mutual reception is similar to a conjunction. For those who don’t know what mutual reception is, it’s when 2 planets are in each others signs of domicile (in this example, Venus is in Sagittarius, Sagittarius ruled by Jupiter, and Jupiter in Taurus, Taurus ruled by Venus. Venus is in the territory of Jupiter, and Jupiter is in the territory of Venus).

This is really nice because this includes both benefics AND the Part of Fortune (being conjunct Jupiter). Having to do with the 6th and 11th houses this could indicate success in building a stable following for my music or having comfort/stability with the new communities I create in school this semester.

Regardless in both interpretations, there’s a sense of happiness and success in the communities I’m a part of this month (not to much increased popularity, especially with the 7h stellium which includes the Sun). I may feel more comfortable or have more luck in adapting to the uncomfortable or general circumstances that my social environment poses (having to meet new people in my new classes may be one possible factor I could foresee currently but things could change!)

𝙻𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝙲:

Mental health issues. There’s a potent need for rest and to fulfill my needs whether that be physical/mental necessities. Being in my natal 3rd house, this outburst could have to do with news I’ve heard from other people (maybe getting some difficult news that upsets me?) or it could also be that I really want to stay home still even though I have to come back to school from break (this is a more likely interpretation as for my current circumstances)

𝚅𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚡 @ 𝟸𝟸 𝚍𝚎𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚜:

The 22nd degree is known as the “killed or be killed” degree. This degree often comes up in now or never situations so there could be some sort of offer or event that pushes me to get my music endeavors/experience together (5h) or maybe some sort of event pushes me to be more confident in my self-expression (also 5h).

In the lunar chart, this is making a trine to Neptune and an opposition to Uranus. The opposition to Uranus means that the events are unexpected and the “unexpectedness” will likely be coming from friend groups, communities, and/or social media. The trine to Neptune means that although whatever happens may be unexpected, it’s also a very compassionate experience that makes me feel enlightened and more knowledgeable.

Natally, it is on top of my natal Vertex so it is making all the same aspects as it would in my natal chart. Sextile to Venus and trine to my Part of Fortune, so these external events happening to me could still make me feel happy despite what I talked about in the first paragraph. Venus reinforces the idea that it could do with music or at least hobbies/fun of some sort.

To summarize, I see this in 2 ways: a) will have to do with playing music for an audience unexpectely (opposition from 11h Uranus) OR b) I have to conform and manipulate my self-expression in order to fit in with new friends/communities (22 degrees) but it will still be a “glamorous” experience of some sort (Neptune).

hope you enjoyed!

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woodchipp · 28 days

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So I didn't want to keep blowing up your messages on that post, so I'll try to respond as concisely and respectfully as I can here :)

Some of these are my opinions, some are speculation, and some are pulled directly from the Canon, but feel free to disagree all the same. This isn't me trying to argue, but tbh, I like engaging in debates/talking to people about media that I enjoy so I can get a different perspective on what to do/not as a writer. So here we go.

"That's basically the issue I take with the twist - a good chunk of the foreshadowing could be construed as Sunny feeling guilty about Mari's *suicide*, not his *manslaughter*. We're also not shown much of the process of Sunny's frustration growing until it boils over and he breaks the violin, so it just makes him flipping out at his sister feel out of left field."

I agree and that's where most of Omori's problem comes from. We're never shown the gap between when the photo album takes place and where the argument happens and I always had a feeling that it was tact on. We're told that Sunny was dealing with pain from the violin in a random throwaway line, but that was never conveyed. There should've been more of a build-up for what Sunny did, but I always saw it as more of the heat of a moment thing since the recital was happening, giving Mari a reason to be harder on him, on top of him already feeling nervous because, unless I'm mistaken, Sunny did deal with feeling nervous about the recital and only took up the violin because he wanted to spend time with her, not because he wanted to play. But nonetheless, that doesn't excuse the poor writing.

Again, feel free to disagree with him, but his breaking the violin shows where his priorities lay, and that was never on the violin, but his relationship with Mari. The violin was supposed to serve as a tool he could use to spend time with Mari, but all it ended up doing was driving them apart and having his doubts about himself fully realized because, from what we can tell, he always thought that he wasn't really good at anything (as evidence by what the books say in the Lost Library) and was more a less of a burden on his friends (which things ends up being proven to be true since his killing Mari burdens his friends AND his cowardly running away from the action stunts his growth and turns him into a being devoid of any meaning or purpose in life but to escape from the guilt he brought onto himself.)

So basically, already not feeling good enough was proven because he kept messing up his part, wanting to spend time with his sister and then indirectly driving their relationship into something that can only be indulged in if he's doing something he doesn't want to do. And I get it, "If he didn't want to, he should've said something," but tbh, it's more realistic for preteen kids to try to hang out with their "big kid" older siblings on their terms because they want to feel closer to them. My evidence? Like I said, having siblings with roughly the same age gap as Sunny and Mari.

(Ironically, I also played the violin and there were so many times my siblings wanted to play with me to spend time with me, so eh, funny coincidence there.)

11/12-year-olds are very emotional and reckless at times, and they tend to take a lot of things at surface level. I'm not attempting to justify Sunny's actions, but I've seen in action how QUICKLY rambunctious they get, ESPECIALLY in arguments or physical altercations with siblings.

My issue with Omori is that Mari is displayed as perfect and NOT the typical sibling, which makes their fight unrealistic to me. Sunny at the moment was a realistic child, but you can't honestly expect me to believe that someone as perfectly shown as Mari would've got into a physical altercation with Sunny in good faith, no matter how angry she was.

Mari needed to be aged closer to Sunny and to be closer to the average sibling for the fight to have been believable. Give a reason for the fight to be believable, because fights between siblings resulting in more harm than what was intended occurs A LOT in real life, age gaps be damned, but part of the emotional impact needs to be about the siblings' closeness, so why not just show a normal sibling relationship with ups and downs rather than this idealistic "mother-son" bond that they had?

That's what breaks it for me. In this case, yes, I believe that with how perfectly Mari was displayed, they should've gone for a suicide angle, whereas if they wanted to do a "younger sibling accidentally killed older sibling" they needed to make said older sibling believable. But I guess they thought that if Mari wasn't showcased as perfect, then the audience wouldn't have been endeared to her, which is just stupid logic because Aubrey is a problematic character (tbh they all are), and yet a lot of people still like her? Omocat confuses me sometimes.

Sunny should've had to explore the implications of the suicide while also piecing together that Mari WASN'T a perfect person, but the game seems to want to double down on that for some reason. You can't have your cake and eat it too game; either she was a good person who never would've engaged with her brother to such an angry and jarring degree OR she was a flawed, realistic person who got into a fight with her brother over a stressful thing that neither of them could communicate properly on, but the game doesn't seem to want to explore either of those things. Headspace Mari being perfect makes sense. He killed her. The least he can do is idolize her and make her an "angel figure." But then real world Mari is ALSO idealized? And I'm just like, that doesn't make any sense, but sure, ok...

"Also, from what I've heard (although so far it's unconfirmed), Mari was actually intended to have killed herself and the whole manslaughter twist was added MUCH later on, which would probably explain why it feels so inorganic with the rest of the story."

That makes sense and I also had a feeling that was the case.

"Isn't the whole good ending about how he's free to move on and how he'll no longer feel guilty? I mean, the additional secret cutscene even shows his and Basil's Somethings fading away entirely."

Ok, so here's where I start to disagree a bit. Sunny shouldn't feel shame (which is what I think you mean rather than guilt, but I could be mistaken", he should feel guilty. And I'm sure you going to ask, "Well what's the difference?" (Or maybe you already know, and it's my fault for assuming you don't.)

Shame, in this case, is a selfish thing. What Sunny did was a selfish thing. He killed his sister, albeit accidentally, and then pretty much hid said shame under the guise of an idealistic dream."

Guilt is feeling bad because you did a bad thing to another person, shame is believing you ARE a bad person. The guilt never goes away, it's the shame that does. Guilt is a healthy thing, shame typically isn't (it depends on the action tbh.)

The problem with shame is that it doesn't drive anyone to do anything but wallow in self-pity. If you truly believe you're a bad person, then 9 times out of 10, you're not going to make the effort to prove said belief wrong because shame goes deeper than a thought process. It's an entire evaluation of your character that doesn't even have to exist because you did something wrong, some people just feel shame naturally. Shame is heavily related to OCD (guilt can be too, but people with shame-related OCD usually believe they're bad people rather than they simply did/thought a bad thing).

Whereas you're constantly in a cycle of blaming yourself and feeling terrible and as a result of being in said cycle of shame, you never FORWARD yourself, and if you never do that, then you never take the time to try to right the person(s) you wronged.

Sunny should feel guilty and it's never said that it goes away, he still did a terrible thing to another person and as long as that fact remains, the guilt will always be there. It's the belief that he's an inherently evil person that goes away.

Guilt is healthy, shame isn't, and it's the guilt that drives him to come clean in the first place and the shame that drives him to, well, *glances at a bad ending.*

I feel like this is an issue with Omori fans when they say that Omori embodies the guilt because that's not true, he embodies that shame.

And we can see the logic, "I did a bad thing, so I'm bad and therefore I don't deserve to live," (and tbh I feel like the only people who don't deserve to live when they do bad things are like, r@pists and people into children and serial killers,) not a child who unintentionally killed their older sibling. Now if it was an older child who intentionally killed their younger sibling, I could see an argument there, but like I said, as a big sister, I couldn't in good faith believe that a younger sibling deserves to die over something they did unintentionally when they were twelve.

Whether or not Sunny is an inherently evil person once he's older is up to you when, but again, I can't as an older sibling say I wouldn't forgive my sibling for doing something to me like that. Maybe that's just me, but that's how I feel about it.

I noticed you said that you take issue with Mari forgiving Sunny in another post, but to me, as a big sister, that was the more realistic part of her character. Maybe it's not for everyone to agree on, but I couldn't see myself being angry/not forgiving my sibling over an accident, especially for causing said accident when they were twelve.

Anyway, that's just my thoughts. It's a bit of cluster fuck of ideas and concepts, and you're free to tear into them, but they're all just opinions at the end of the day.

We're told that Sunny was dealing with pain from the violin in a random throwaway line [...] unless I'm mistaken, Sunny did deal with feeling nervous about the recital

I don't think it was either pain or anxiety. He apparently viewed violin practice as a "nuisance" that prevented him from watching Saturday morning cartoons for as long as he wanted to and that's pretty much the only info you're given until the Black Space photo album lol

And I get it, "If he didn't want to, he should've said something,"

Eh, never saw any reason to apply that argument to him. Although I suppose it'd have been kinda interesting to see him initiate their big argument by blowing up at Mari because she got too harsh on him or something along these lines

part of the emotional impact needs to be about the siblings' closeness, so why not just show a normal sibling relationship with ups and downs rather than this idealistic "mother-son" bond that they had?

[...]

Yeah, exactly.

It baffles me to no end. We're told Sunny is quite the unreliable narrator right before the game reinforces his unreliable perception of Mari by portraying her as perfect in tne real world as well and it's just. ?????????????????

But I guess they thought that if Mari wasn't showcased as perfect, then the audience wouldn't have been endeared to her, which is just stupid logic because Aubrey is a problematic character (tbh they all are), and yet a lot of people still like her? Omocat confuses me sometimes.

People like Aubrey because she's *checks smudged writing on hand* an absolute girlboss and cunty. And if you don't like her, you're sexist. Seriously, that's most of the arguments I've seen being used in her defense when people talk about her lmao

I've spent quite a while dissecting this game and trust me, Omocat confuses me all the time. OMORI's writing desperately wants to be taken seriously but kinda just. falls apart when you actually take it seriously and think about it for more than 0.5 seconds

Omori representing Sunny's shame instead of his guilt would make the former disappearing after the DUET cutscene make sense. Huh, that's an Interesting interpretation

Ironically, my issue with Mari forgiving Sunny is that it kinda makes her look even more perfect than she already is. Like she's so perfect that she can't even get angry at her brother for cutting her life short

In any case, this was a pretty nice and civil discussion. Thank you for writing me! :D

#omori #omori game #omori sunny #omori mari #omori aubrey

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