When Sein was first introduced, I was a little worried because I loved the dynamic between Frieren, Fern, and Stark so much, and I thought we didn't need another character potentially messing that up. But, I was worried for absolutely nothing because I fell in love with his character almost immediately and he rounds out the group beautifully. They all play so well off of one another and he really feels like he belongs, even if he was only around for a short while.
I guess the point of all this is that I really miss Sein...
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the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.
being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.
it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.
so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.
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sitting in my little corner of “as much as i love love love prime bros, i also love the idea of nine being a character to fought so hard to get something, anything, and in the end, he got nothing”
i love me a tragic character who fought so hard to get his happy ending but never did because life just wasn’t fair to him
the cards weren’t in his favor and he lost
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tonight I’m thinking about how in practically every one of ND’s drawings of Ambrosius and Ballister as young knights/squires, they’re absolutely all over each other. Arms around shoulders, head in lap, Ambrosius jumping onto Ballister’s back or looking over his shoulder at a desk by plastering himself to him. Hands in hair and on waists.
and then thinking about how strange it must be to go from having that all the time to being completely alone
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