#but like… my guy…….

[betty-fazbear]

oh my god i just saw a comment where some dingus just called (Summer of ‘87) Circus Baby, “Poppy” 💀

#poppy playtime #five nights at freddy's #og #like the name does fit sure! #but like… my guy……. #it’s fnaf art….. please….. #the comment said verbatim #‘Poppy sure does look funny’ #i literally cannot tell if it’s a joke but if it’s not pLEASE BRO AIDNAKDN

[spineless-lobster]

I am not the divine masculine or the divine feminine I am the divine comedy and you will address me as such

#danteposting #I hope you guys like my stupid history jokes #the divine comedy

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers #they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy #but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure #respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys #I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years #anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period #i was always at my besties house lol #i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever... #bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️

[mybreadsmybutters]

when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance

#dan and phil fanfiction changed me #come into my lady door #and teen me saw that and went “i need to be that so fuckan bad” #i wanted to be dan but now that im a mature adult i understand that phil is better. phil guy 5ever nowadays #do i tag this as dan and phil. i still dont know tumblr site tagging norms and im like a year in now #dan and phil #dnp #phan

[crabussy]

IM GOING TO PUNCH A HOLE IN SOMEONES CAR

#WHAT THE FUCK MAN #caps #you're not evil dont worry I love you #BUT WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like sisyphus now #if I just blow my nose again it'll be clear right. right guys. if I get the mucus out I can breathe #IM GONNA BE ILLL IM SO ANGRY

[theharlotofferelden]

Genuinely loved the experience of being at camp for the first time and seeing all the companions with their tits out like they're all gonna go clubbin or some shit

Then there’s Gale

Who's just. So utterly swagless that his clothes smell like dusty old books. My man doesn't give a fuck about the drip he's getting his ass ready for bed

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate iii #gale dekarios #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate gale #game: baldur's gate 3 #c: gale #i am once again shitposting about gale #he's just a guy #just a silly lil guy #personal: my posts #dragon age #personal: shitpost #post so good it was stolen by a popular blogger #pinning this post until i make a new art piece #i made that work of eufemia back in 2021 it's been like 3 years lmao

[seagiri]

they turned mickbell into a girl in the latin spanish dub so... congrats mickbell???

#my art #dungeon meshi #mickbell tomas #it was so fucking funny because a minute earlier i told my friend “(other friend) just finished the manga and he discovered mickbells a guy #and they went “HES A GUY??” and i burst out laughing #and then kuro called used fem pronouns. i was left like a fool

[mo-mode]

AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

#EVEN BETTER if Mr D tries to keep his cover by actually treating him like a son #Clarisse doesn’t mess with him cuz after the toilet fiasco Mr D is like “I will feed you to my cult young lady!! good job Peter :) #Percy is like “hey dad why can I control water “and Mr D is like …ever heard of that guy that turned it to wine?? #Mr D: PLEASE just help me I can’t keep it a secret for much longer Mr. Brunner: you told him his brother was JESUS??? #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson the lightning thief #dionysus #Mr D

[wewontbesleeping]

the weirdest fucking thing to me is how men will be like "it's so hard being a man. no one cares that i'm sad. the loneliness we experience could NEVER be understood by a woman" and then also be like "btw i never talk to my friends and i don't know their names and i love hanging out with men because they don't talk about their stupid emotions all the time. women could never understand a bond like this." like ???

#this thread was so rancid lmfao #my favorite was 'we don't care if someone wants to relax on the couch!!! STOP NAGGING US!!!' like ???? #go take care of your kids you deadbeat???? #also SO many guys complaining that no one compliments them #ok so compliment another man..... #oh no you only want a woman to compliment you? ok. #women compliment each other that's why we get compliments lol #we do not want men to 'compliment' us hope this helps

[fesenmoon]

no fucking way

#sketches #comics #the far side #crocodiles #my art #i don’t know how to tag this. #also i should probably say. i tried to look into it further and i haven't seen hard hard evidence that they do this on purpose #personifying animals is tempting but ultimately i think it's just hot speculation atm. crocodilians are famously tough to research too #like the advantages may be a coincidence or just pure curiosity/play. which is also really cute...love those guys #sorry for the misinformation! light theory only afaik #comic

[fox-mulder-gets-pegged]

I just wanna say bc I KNOW you're somewhere on tumblr, to the teenage girl who attended Take Your Kid To Work Day at an office building in Ontario, Canada circa 2013 and had a conversation with a middle aged woman in which you showed her your Black Veil Brides fanart and fanfics and ship content and told her about different fanfic tropes including a/b/o verse bc she happened to know who Panic! at The Disco and Fallout Boy were and thus you felt the need to show her your bandblr ship art, that was my fucking mother and I had to clarify all that to her including looking my mother in the eye and trying to explain a/b/o verse without sounding like a lunatic.

It's been 10 years and I still regularly sent evil energies in your direction. Since you'd be probably two years younger than me and thus legally an adult now, please know if this post reaches you it's on sight.

#she cornered me in the car and asked what shipping was and i almost had a fucking heart attack #imagine being like 16 years old and habing to explain knotting to your mother #random emo music girl I'm glad you had fun talking about your Band Guys to my mother #bc i also attended take your kid to work day at that office and i know how boring it was #but christ alive why did you have to fuck me like that? #anyways i hope this post reaches you so at the very least you know i think about you at least once a week #this has been weighing on me for ten years #im almost tempted to blaze this post

[proxycrit]

I made another one. Sorry guys.

#pokemon #art #my art #unholy grab bag of guys #smeargle #pokemon oc #smeargle oc #pkmn art #oc art #oc #crusty the smeargle #sweaty the absol #critdraws #they fill me with emotions that i can not describe #fear? revulsion? joy??? #anyways crusty can have an airsack as a treat #when it deflates it sounds like a whiney train horn #or a very big bike honk

[kimdokjas]

though the movie might be cancelled, yuri on ice will live forever in our hearts. thank you yoi fandom, it's been real ♡

#yuri on ice #yoiedit #yoi #victuuri #ice adolescence #anime gif #*gifs #animangahive #dailyshounenai #userkarura #usergojoana #userhanyi #useralphonse #usertorichi #usermoonz #usericybtch #userheidi #usergokalp #userartless #homuras #himawaari #this is not goodbye this is still my house!!! #devastated but not surprised tbh but i still wanted to channel my emotions somehow and just. express how much this show means to me so here #this thank you goes out to u guys. the fandom #mappa can eat a brick btw <3 #god i wish i could articulate just how special yoi is to me #it truly resonated with me like very few other pieces of media have (i can count them with one hand in fact) #it was sooooo revolutionary and ahead of its time not just in terms of queerness but also in terms of mental health #it truly changed me as a person and i just. really appreciate how earnest and kind it was above all #thank you yoi. you will be a part of me forever <3

[littlelightfish]

Does... does this implies that... Chilchuck is the tallest of them all...? If they were all haflings, it's oficial that yes. Now, look at me play my game.

Chilchuck is said to be tall for a hafling, and he is. The avarage would be 100 cms, and he's 110 Laios is a tallman, but he's also tall for his race (the average height is 180cm for men, he's 185).

Marcille is 160 (elves are 150 and tall men 170, so we good here, I'd say she's average too). Sehshi is 140, he's actually taller than the average for male dwarves (135). And Itzusumi is shorter than the avatage of female tallmen (170), being only 150.

So far, if they all changed to the same race at the same time, Itzusumi would always be the shortest, followed my marcille. Senshi and Laios should be around the same height since theyre both 5 cms taller than the avarage (I know that as haflings Laios is taller, maybe he keeps being taller than Senshi just because). And Chilchuck would be the tallest. He's 10 cms taller than the avarage of his race after all.

Might this useless information hunt you until the end of your days.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck #chilchuck tims #senshi of izganda #senshi #marcille donato #Marcille #itsuzumi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #guys why the hell did you liked this post so much #i feel honored but what #my shit

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion

[subterra-rose]

Honestly pokemon is the ideal universe not just because there’s cute animals that are your life companions, but because they have walkable cities and adequate biking infrastructure

#texting my patience #pokemon #edit: I’m not American sorry guys #<just bc people have mentioned the healthcare 😔 (not meant in a condescending way) #I have all of these in my area I just like thinking if everywhere was like this