#comparing gay people to our oppressors as a joke

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia” but where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss? When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet? Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be.

I got my laptop out for this, goddamn. Where would i even start?

"You’re pissed that no one took any accountability for their supposed “aphobia/arophobia”" This tells me everything about you, you possibly don't believe in aro/ace identities. You don't believe people can hate on, or be hateful to, aro/ace spec people. And yes I am pissed. Because it was fucked up.

I would try to justify it with "if this was transphobic/homophobia you wouldn't be acting this way" but im guess you don't care about that as you obviously don't see it the same way.

you were also probably someone who sent asks like this (but more hateful) in 2016 and before, you were probably also someone who posted and reblogged aphobic content and said it was "just a joke" later while still sending asks like this to people. Take of that anon and show your face coward.

"where is the accountability for the constant inhumane and disgusting homophobia, biphobia and transphobia STILL spewing out of ace spaces like puss?"

where is the accountability for the homophobia, biphobia and transphobia still spewing out of ALL lgbtqia+ spaces? Where is the accountability in the REAL world? Where is it anon? Where is the accountability for the acephobia, the arophobia and so many other "not real sexualities/gender identities" -phobias?

You saw a post about aphobia, and instead of being like "yeah that was f-ed up" or "i dont care" you went "but what about meeeeee" which is very all lives matter of you. (I am not comparing racism to homophobia, however the "what about me" bs can be summed up very easily using all lives matter as an example) For the fucking record, all spaces have assholes, all of them. On behalf of the "normal" aro/ace spec folks, i apologise for any homophobia, biphobia and/or transphobia you have experienced from us. "When will you all realize you feel that way because you are directly adjacent to the oppressor class and have next to nothing in common with the LGBT community as a whole but nearly everything in common with the average cishet?" This is a main aphobe talking point so thank you for doing this by the text book so i can break it down easier!

Three pages about asexual hate crimes which im sure every average cishet has to deal with (assuming their white and male) 1 2 (a booklet for asexual people to be actually fucking included) 3

An incredible interview is here but im going to quote a few things from it as theres a 99.9% chance aphobes wont click a link

"We know aromantics and asexuals have existed for as long as humans have. However, it’s only through the terminology recently going mainstream"

"Because of Freud’s influence, many of us grew up learning that our sex drive is the primary motivator of human behavior, but that isn’t the case."

"That mindset replicates itself within the community so that when a new identity emerges, or when people try to explain themselves, there is resistance and pushback from within the community with the mindset that “if we let these kinds of people in, then that will dilute the access to power and resources we have.” And it forces the community to maintain adjacency to white supremacy, patriarchy, capitalism, ableism and classism, all while leaving behind entire groups of people."

" Do you think there will be more identities joining the LGBTQIA+ acronym? JP: Yes. The more words we have to describe ourselves, the better we are understood."

"The biggest comparisons are the lack of visibility and exclusion from communities on the basis that they’re weird, different, othered or “don’t belong in this space.” Every queer person has experienced this narrative and as more join under the umbrella, the newbie will experience the same challenges, discrimination and misunderstandings as those who came before." and here is another article that has a quote i just live by

"When did trauma become the mark of queerness?"

but back to the aphobe ->

"Y’all aren’t queer for not wanting to fuck, only fucking sometimes “if you emotionally connect”, or being emotionally unavailable to romantic partnership. "

if you think queer = sex then so help me. queer does not equal sex, queer is sexuality. and guess what that is NOT always sexual. sexuality is who your attracted to, whether it be romantically OR sexually.

and Asexuality is a spectrum, some asexuals never have sex, some don't want to have sex but have had it due to trauma or peer pressure, some don't care for it, some did it for a partner but just dont care about it.

same with aromantic. Its a spectrum. By your process here, so so so so so many people are removed from the lgbtqia+ community but you couldn't possibly mean that-

"And if you aren’t also gay, trans, or bisexual, you never will be."

-oh you did.

So none of these are part of the community either then? Agender, Bigender, Intersex, genderfluid, pansexual, omnisexual, Omnigender, Questioning, transgender and queer?

interesting anon.

Anyways i hope my followers enjoyed that! Let me know what you think if you finished reading all this!

Love;

An aegosexual, pansexual, aromantic, trans guy with to much fucking time on his hands.

#tw apobia #ask #asks #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aro #ace #aro pride #pride #lgbtqia #ace pride #ace problems #aro problems #cw aphobia #aphobia

[parseisflat]

yes i agree the correct way to respond to homophobic hate groups is to call them gay

#/s #tw westboro baptist church #tw homophobia #like it was kinda funny at first but #the more i think about it the shittier this trend is #comparing gay people to our oppressors as a joke #as if we haven’t already been the butt of jokes for years #it’s just another way of rebranding homophobia as woke😍 #i have more thoughts but i don’t want to rant lol #if anyone wants to bitch with me! feel free <3

[hadeantaiga]

Your take on that post about radfem lesbians really gives lesbophobe vibes. You comparing lesbians to abusers was just 🚩🚩🚩

But it’s normal for other people in the community to treat lesbians like they’re the oppressors right? Y’all normalize that.

There’s obviously lesbians who’re radfems, I’m not denying that, the issue here is that you and other people seem to treat all lesbians as radfems.

1. I wasn't talking about lesbians in general, I very clearly specified I was only distrustful of radfem lesbians.

2. I'm not comparing all lesbians to abusers, I am quite literally talking about the specific radfem lesbians WHO HAVE DIRECTLY ABUSED ME. I'm not talking about nebulous concepts, I'm talking about specific individuals who have very directly oppressed me.

Let's do a test to see if I can trust you:

Do you:

Agree bisexual women are part of the WLW community?

Think trans men are real men and transmasc people are valid?

Agree transmasc people face abuses unique to our experiences?

Think trans women are women and transfemme people are valid?

Agree transfemme people face abuses unique to their experiences?

Agree it's NOT "deception" if a trans person doesn't disclose their genitals during a date because it might get them killed?

DO believe lesbians can be attracted to trans women and gay men can be attracted to trans men, and this doesn't make them "bisexual"?

Agree that "genital preference" is actually a "genital requirement" and the responsibility should be on the cis person to disclose their requirements?

If you agree with the above, then we're on the same page, and I can trust you.

If you DON'T agree with the above, you may end up calling me slurs, because these are ALL things radfem lesbians have sent me death threats about. I'm not fucking joking.

If you go back and actually read what I wrote, I put my "take" in the tags, not the body of the post. You'll also note the whole post was about radfem lesbian abuse and about dealing with and overcoming abuses faced by non-lesbians by radfem members of the lesbian community and how not all lesbians are responsible for the abuses of those members, and how those radfem members are in fact victims in a way too.

That doesn't absolve radfem lesbians of harm, and it doesn't mean I instantly have to trust and love radfem lesbians.

My thoughts in the tags aligned with the post, with the addition that I, personally, have been too abused by radfem lesbians to feel safe around radfem lesbians.

Lesbians in general? Of course I'm not going to assume every lesbian is automatically biphobic or transphobic. I'm fine with lesbians in general. Lesbians are great!

But lesbians who identify as radfems? Sorry. They've lost my trust through repeated violent verbal abuse. If you need proof just look at my #anon tag on my blog. I've literally been told to fucking kill myself by people who are radfem lesbians.

And I was fucking clear in my tags that I was only talking about radfem lesbians.

#anon #anonymous #reading comprehension #no one on tumblr can read

[colorisbyshe]

I want to start by saying I hope I dont come off as combative or rude. I just want to know how, as an asexual person, how I can not be toxic to the LGBTQ community. Like im bi and ace and I've been told I can join a lgbt group and they cited a post you wrote. They said I couldnt join cause im not part of the LGBT community cause asexuality is toxic. But I cant tell if thats what you meant or not and im genuinely just confused and trying to understand whats going on? Obviously don't answer if you don't want to, you don't owe this a response lol.

So, either you or the people you cited have misread my post and badly. I have never said all asexual people are inherently toxic to the LGBT community or don't belong in the LGBT community even if they are otherwise LGBT.

I have simply said that cisgender, straight aces/aros or cis aroaces do not belong in LGBT spaces and that LGBT aces should be aware that some ace rhetoric is harmful and endeavor to never use it, whether it be for themselves or around LGBT people.

Basically, just don't make LGBT spaces about your asexuality and just... THINK about how terminology you learned in ace spaces affects LGBT people.

Do you use the term biromantic instead of saying you're a bisexual ace? Don't do that. Bisexual is not a term inherently describing sexual attraction. The "sexual" in bisexual (and heterosexual and sexual orientation) refers to sex/gender, not sexy sex. When you bring in terms like "biromantic" you are hurting other bisexuals in that space, since many of them may struggle with being sexualized, reclaiming their seuxal attraction, or might just be ace/sex repulsed.

Do you use terms like "sex positive" and insist you can have sex without sexual attraction? Think about how that mirrors conversion therapy rhetoric. LGBT people are regularly told they can have healthy sexual/romantic relationships to peopel they feel no attraction to. LGBT people are pressured into sex "to make their partner happy" all the time. Accept that if you wanna fuck someone, that is sexual attraction. There is nothing wrong with feeling sexual attraction. Denying this is sexual attraction just harms LGBT people who have struggled to accept what they feel and desire.

Do you use the term allosexual or insist aces are oppressed? Do you genuinely think LGBT people are privileged for feeling sexual attraction over you? That is erasing how LGBT people face violence, discrimination, and isolation for their romantic desires. LGBT people have no capacity to oppress LGBT aces or cishet aces. Terms "allosexual" group us with our oppressors on a front we do not have privilege on. You might balk and go "Doesn't cis do that with cis men and cis women who they oppress!" And the answer is NO. Cis women have privilege over trans men and trans women on the basis of their cisness--they benefit from being cis, even if they do not benefit from being women. LGBT people who experience sexual attraction do not have privilege over cishet aces or LGBT aces. It is not comparable.

And the list goes on.

If you insist children can be asexual because "OMG they can be gay right???" realize that children do NOT feel sexual attraction, therefore it's harmful to classify them as sexual and non-sexual and that is not comparable to children being gay or bisexual, since kids can still have crushes without it having anything to do with sexual feelings.

Do you want to go into LGBT spaces to talk about your experiences as a bisexual or derail meetings to talk about your lack of sexual attraction? LGBT people go into LGBT spaces to talk about LGBT issues, not how you feel sexually.

But that isn't to say your asexuality is a complete nonstarter in LGBT spaces.

You're welcome to talk about the combination of being bisexual and ace makes it even harder to date and find an accepting partner. You can talk about how being ace affected realizing you were bisexual.

Just do these things while thinking about how you say it affects people who are struggling or have struggled with accepting their sexual desires. Don't make sex is gross jokes. Don't insist cishets are LGBT or that your asexuality is "queer" or "LGBT enough."

None of this should be hard. Just be respectful. You're LGBT and you're "bisexual enough" for LGBT spaces. You aren't immediately an enemy to LGBT safety. You just gotta be aware that the ace community is knee deep in rhetoric that can be harmful to LGBT people and make sure you don’t perpetuate that harm. Including to yourself!

#ask #anonymous #ace discourse

[lgbt-stims]

No hate but like about the transmisandrist flag: I can't help but feel you're painting transmascs as a whole as the main perpatraitor of transmisogyny when from what I know it's Terfs and Cis folks, like I read the tags and understand you're apparently joking but even so, it's painting transmascs as a group in a bad light and in my opinion playing right into terfs hands, we need solidarity not to be at eachothers throats. Not to be one oppressed group making jokes at another's expense, with that kind of logic a group of native americans would be allowed to make a racist joke about a group of black people, there's a massive difference between reclamation and just working for our oppressors, even on accident. For example, for the trans lesbian mod, all gender aside, howd you feel if a gay man made a "useless lesbian" joke? It's very much in the same vein, but anyways, thank you for your time, I hope you hear my opinion

A trans woman being accused of being a “transmisandrist” for just existing as a trans woman, and taking this and making a joke about it is not in any way even remotely on par with outright racism and lesbophobia. The flag compiles things that transmascs do to trans women to label us as transmisandrist, ie literally just existing as trans women and expecting to be treated as people, and making a joke out of the idea that trans women wanting to not be hurt by transmascs is somehow actually bigoted. The flag is literally “for when youre tma and youre an evil transmisandrist or transandrophobe because ummmm youre tma and dont like transmisogyny thats all that qualifies someone as being bigoted towards trans men apparently”. This is in no way comparable to a nonblack person being racist, nor is it even comparable to “useless lesbian” jokes. These two examples are just mockery of Black people and lesbians. This flag is a mockery of the idea that trans women are “transmisandrists” for wanting to be treated as human, not a mockery of trans men.

The idea that this is “working for our oppressors” (t/rfs in this case) is absolutely wrong. No, trans women joking about the way trans men mistreat them is not helping t/rfs in any way. The notes have literally been full of t/rfs vehemently defending trans men and being vile about trans women. If you think t/rfs saw that post and thought poorly of trans men, you’re dead wrong. Every single one of them has been defending them and praising them. You are not the object of t/rf hatred, despite the fact that you are an object of transphobic hatred. There is a major difference.

Furthermore, the idea that transmascs (both binary and nonbinary - mlm and wlw) are not a main perpetrator of transmisogyny could not be more false. Transmascs are absolutely one of the main perpetrators of transmisogyny, both online and in person, all tme trans people are. They are probably the most prevalent and most dangerous transmisogynists, because unlike cis people, they are inside the community and have an immense amount of leverage against transfems because of it. If a cis woman says “Trans women are predatory and scary, they try to infiltrate our cis women’s spaces and force us out so they can have a dickhaver only space. They’re so oppressive and they aren’t even that oppressed compared to us”, most trans people will recognize it as transmisogyny. If a transmasc says the exact same thing, it’s excused and even praised because they are also trans, and “you're painting transmascs as a whole as the main perpatraitor of transmisogyny when from what I know it's T/rfs and Cis folks”. Transmascs constantly traumatize and endanger transfems, just like t/rfs and cis people, but they do it while hiding behind the fact that they’re also trans and so they get away with it. Tme trans people often don’t care about the bigoted feelings of a cis person towards a trans woman, but they obsessively cater to the bigoted feelings of a transmasc (or other tme trans person) towards a trans woman. Tme trans people are still absolutely capable of transmisogyny, and often are transmisogynistic, and trans women have every right to talk about transmisogyny in the lgbt community without being accused of bigotry. Which, ironically, is exactly what the flag was talking about.

#this was a very long response. i hope this all explains it #ask #anonymous #mod rose #transmisogyny

[kissimirrit]

Hi there, just wanted to open up this ask with if you don't have the energy to answer this then that's totally fine, but not too long ago I saw someone group together het trans ppl and cis gay ppl in the sense of like "ugh (group)'s insufferable bad takes" which struck me as both odd and possibly yikes because. Obviously there are going to be bad apples in any group but when I hear about bad het trans takes I feel like it's more of an anomaly compared to cis gays, and wondered if the grouping came from the idea that het trans ppl are less queer than non het trans ppl. I tried to respond to what the person said, but as a straight trans person yourself I was curious if you'd be willing to share your take on it? (I've learned more about the straight trans perspective from you so thank you for that and your time ^_^)

heyo!! i just got off work, so i'm sorry if it's been a hot minute since you sent this!!

OK. so you're right that people are equating transhets as less queer, and implying (sometimes even outright saying) that we oppress trans people who are not straight. and even say that as transhets we are not oppressed for our orientation, only our gender identity. that is *absolutely* where that grouping comes from, they are putting us in an oppressor class due to the black and white thinking of "straight = oppressor" and it deletes any nuance that comes with that.

straight trans people are just as oppressed for our sexuality as trans people who are not straight. to cishets, we are the "wrong" kind of heterosexual, to cishets we are still GAY because they perceive us as dating the same gender still. we do heterosexuality "wrong". our heterosexuality and the way we navigate and the way we experience heterosexuality is not the same as an cishet people. literally no orientation is more, or less, oppressed when you are trans, because no matter what orientation we identify with, we are doing it "wrong" in the eyes of a cishet society. there is no orientation where you can win.

just because for cishet people their straightness is not oppressed or a minority, does not mean the same goes for transhet folk. because we are queer, our straightness is also queer, and cishet people even see OUR straightness as queer and therefore "not the right kind of straight".

transhets are literally mocked in the queer community and people genuinely do treat us as jokes because we're straight. i've even seen my straight transfem friends have people belittle them for liking men and try to coerce them into liking women.

we are the "wrong kind of straight" to cishets. and "the wrong kind of queer" to not-straight folk.

we struggle with our straightness in cishet society. we struggle with our straightness in the queer community. we do not win either way. for a lot of us, our straightness is our transness and our transness is our straightness. mine are not separate.

people deny our oppression for our orientation solely because we are straight and therefore "an oppressor class", while ignoring that to cishet ppl, we are not straight.

sorry if this was a bit rambly and repetitive, but i hope it answered any questions you have! you're always free to ask about anything.

[bellalaloca]

this is a big ass rant triggered by another sentence claiming that ace people are soooo oppresed, so it goes under a read more

every single day i have to read on this god-forsaken website or on facebook just how oppressed asexuals are (specially by members of the LGBT community) and it’s just bizarre to me that anyone would think that.

i volunteer at an LGBT non-govermental organization, and we have cases of lesbians or FMT people who have been raped to try and 'fix' them, people who have been beaten to a pulp because they were walking down the street holding hands with their significant other, who are thrown out of their houses by their parents when they come out, people who can’t find jobs, trans people who can’t change their name and gender in legal documents, and all of that because they’re LGBT.

and not a single problem of those is faced by ace people. they’re commonly shared by lesbians, gays, trans and bi people, and that’s why these communities have come together to fight against them.

asexuals do not face them, and that’s a great thing, because it means ace people already have their rights respected! there’s no systemic oppression against asexual people, and that should be celebrated!

but instead of being happy they don’t face those obstacles, they claim they’re oppressed because of micro-aggressions, like someone saying they’re gonna meet someone who’ll make them like sex, or people saying they should check a doctor - which isn’t that far-fetched, since hormone imbalance and certain illnesses like depression (and even its medicine - SSRI) can affect libido and perception of sex.

or, worse, when people say aces are oppressed because other LGBT people say they don’t belong in the community. they really compare being murdered - a threat every LGBT person faces - to being excluded from a community whose goal is to fight for rights that ace people already have. that’s why it’s ridiculous when they say that ‘particularly members of the LGBT community are prone to oppressing asexuals’: for the rest of us, it’s particularly cishets that are prone oppressing us, since they’re the ones killing and beating us. and you say we oppress you because we think we’re different communities? saying you cant be part of a community and actually stripping people of their rights - including the right to live - cannot be compared.

this isn’t to say that asexual people don’t go through hardships because they’re ace - of course they do, like people trying to change their sexuality or not understanding it at all (hearing ’you’re just a prude’, ‘you’re confused’ or ‘you just havent met the right person’), or even lack of visibility. but those problems don’t constitute oppression because they’re not systemic - maybe some people actually hate ace people and try to strip them of their rights, but it’s not a system in our society, it’s just a few, particular people. also, those problems are also shared by other people who have nothing else in common with the community, like kinksters. just because we share some problems, does that mean that a cis, straight person who loves bondage faces the same problems as LGBT people? or at least problems just as serious? was dear blowjob queen nancy reagan a beloved member of the LGBTQ community? of course not. 

i very much understand it can be hard when you notice your similarities to the oppressor, because that means you have the power to oppress people (and therefore can be part of the problem), but that doesn’t mean that you have to grasp at straws to pretend to be opressed (or actually believe you are opressed) in order to be on the right side - you can just be an ally. that’s it. 

i also think this stems from the fact that a lot of people (specially teenagers and young adults) see being LGBT as something cool and different - like it’s a club where people have the time of their life - since we have a different culture than cis, straight people (like our own jokes, movies, books, parties), and this culture can be so rich and fascinating that people want to have some claim to it, but that’s now how it works. you can just respectfully appreciate it without pretending you’re part of the group that created it.

and one day i’ll snap again and write a whole text on how the ace spectrum makes no sense at all and is only used to try and pretend more people who aren’t LGBTQ are part of the communuty. an ‘allo spectrum’ makes sense, but an ace one doesn’t. but that is not gonna be today.

signed, a fucking gay demisexual

#lgbt #gay #ace #ace discourse

[horrible-monstrosity]

Those last three episodes of Steven Universe: a mini-essay

JUST FUCK ME UP

kevin party, donner party, what's the differenfe

hey guys, remember when lion disappeared? i legitimatedly don't. he ran off with connie or something and even though lars is probably in mortal peril and lion's the only way to get to him... naw don't need him. even though now steven's all worried bout lion he didn't give a shit enough earlier to search for him just for lion's own sake. nothing matters.

the party sadie and co fucked off to in the last episode and the tit-ular kevin party are not one and the same. why not? because none of this matters. nothing fucking matters. just... some stuff happens and none of it ever fucking lines up or amounts to fucking anything. why is this show still airing?

Kevin thinking Steven's name is Clarence is the best if not only joke this show has produced in the last like twenty episodes. Or thirty. How long has this season been going for? How many episodes does this show have?...

kevin is allergic to dog but lion is still here ok. the joke is he think lion it dog but the fact he hasn't like broke out in hives should maybe tell him something?.......

So the crux of this episode is, Kevin gives Steven this patriarchal man male romantic advice which basically amounts to "have a good time and don't be a sniveling soyball" and is entirely reasonable. But since this is Steven fucking Universe, it's clearly absolutely fucking terrible. I mean, maybe it's not the perfect solution for *this* particular situation, but why the fuck would he know that? Is he supposed to read Steven and Connie's fucking minds? Why does the feminist solution to problems so commonly require the male reading peoples' fucking minds? It's a perfectly fucking reasonable piece of general advice, and Kevin even seems to be at least the littlest bit actually concerned about Steven's love life issues beyond getting the cool quantum-tranny Stevonnie at his party... but no, he's gotta be wrong, because he's the designated small-time patriarchal oppressor and 84opposition to the gender revolution.

connie assumes that steven doesn't want to talk to her not because she's been bitching at him and been doing shit like accusing him of being friends with kevin leaving him to wonder what he's done wrong... but because he's friends with kevin, obviously. female accountability and logic at 0%

kevin doesn't know how to friends. are we supposed to hate him or feel sorry for him? ... never mind, both of those options are equally depressing with the way the show treats him.

connie likes steven's maximum soy pink polo shirt, because the way to get grils is to treat yourself like a defective woman who needs re-estrogenizing and soy yourself up. just fucking go cry at her and wear the soy clothes she bought you and drip snot upon her. bitches love snot and then even though steven said kevin had his heart broken and it looks like they have some sympathy for him connie goes "lol ofc he did" and he falls in the pool and they shit on him. fuck this gay earth the rebellion was a mistake homeworld did nothing wrong

So... what the fuck was the conflict here again? Seems like the only thing keeping Steven and Connie from making up was bad timing and mutual awkwardness. Did anyone learn anything from this, aside from Steven discovering he needs to get even more soyful if he wants to inject his gem cummies into a strong big-nosed short-haired minority female someday? Did any of this fucking matter?

Also, I've no idea if this is just fan conjecture or what, but apparently the "Sabina" (because yeah that's a name normal people hsve) who fucked Kevin up is actually the le mysterious pink-haired person mute lesbo who hit it off with Pearl forever ago and probably showed up again at some point in the last X episodes but I don't fucking remember it. You... you... how did you manage to make this even worse? So not only is Kevin terrible and wrong and evil for existing, and for hitting on hot five-gendered quasi-minority manchicks at parties, and for giving reasonable advice... he hit on a thicc pink turbo-lesbo and we're supposed to hate him for that, too. Just... how the fuck do I put this? It's like... stupid fucking cis straight normal fucking a white male, thinking this world is full of other normal people like yourself- the real Earth's population is 99% minority queer demigender faggosexuals, how dare you think you can get into a normal heterosexual relationship with a female of the species? He tried some normal human courtship instead of feminist-approved all-gendered-yet-female-oriented interactions fit only for mentally-deficient degenerate aliens, so he deserved to have his heart trampled on. She's a stryng fymyle fat womyn person, you fucking piece of shit, not some thing for you to treat like (an object/your property/an animal/whatever) by treating her like a normal human being. You're shit, normies are shit, and treating a transcendant gender-goddyss as equal to yourself is oppressive. Or... some fucking shit like that. fuck i don't know whatever

-

c'mon plot it's time to go the fuck back into space already!!! It occurs to me that Connie (probably, I don't fucking know) knew all this time Lars was trapped in spacedanger and Lion was the only thing Steven or anyone else on Earth could use to rescue him, but she decided to fuck off with him anyway. Because why? Because her selfish little emotional snit over Steven valuing her life is more important than Lars' own fucking life? Remind me, why are we supposed to like Connie again? Also why did Lion stay with her this entire time anyway? Usually he just fucks off and does whatever he wants. He never wandered back to Steven?

Connie immediately shows her ignorance and downplays the situation as a fun and funny adventure, steven and connie in space o ho ho! an attitude which hey you know might be conducive to PEOPLE THINKING YOU'RE NOT FUCKING FIT TO HANDLE YOURSELF IN SPACE AND THEY SHOULD LEAVE WITHOUT YOU TO PROTECT YOU... Pretty fucking retarded thing to say after all that bitching about... no, wait a minute, Connie never said anything about being treated like Steven's equal or being coddled, did she? I mean, she barely said anything about anything because this was an underdeveloped aborted fetus of an arc, but the entire crux of this disagreement really was just... #

god fluorite still creeps me the fuck out. She's basically some magna-tranny that's gone through eight different transitions of like three genders each and gained a new fat roll for each one. Is this supposed to make me like "diverse" people? Because it's not working. Every single second of her vocal drone grating across my eardrums makes me want ever more to perpetuate a holocaust against the legbutt people. Eugh. two children are all we need to save lars, don't bother bringing garnet or any of those other fucking main characters we have lying around or anything naw fuckit

On some level I almost enjoy how few fucks Lars has come to give, even doing shit like spouting the aesop he was just given as a kewl one-liner as he (kind of) trounces the bad guy... but still, it's all off-screen development that raises a lot of questions. Maybe it's just the change in environment and the lack of anyone to try and impress (the shitgems sure as hell aren't the cool kids) that's brought this out of him- that almost makes sense, but there's nothing indicating that's the case... or anything's the case, really. Maybe it's just some kind of tangential stockholm syndrome where I'm happy to see something actually fucking happening, I don't fucking know.

also how did they steal the ship? they """explain""" but... they really don't. They're just that good because take our word for it lars is really happy for those clean pants. how much did he shit himself over the past couple weeks

And then shit gets terrible again. Lars is more triggered over sadie than his own parents... because of fucking course he is. No, she wasn't worried sick, she was faffing around whining about having to do your work for you or having to work at all and then fucking quitting her job to go become a marxist rock guitarist. Hey, remember the purple cake incident? Lars was legitimately fucked up over his social anxiety and his inability to hang with the cool kids despite wanting so badly to do so, so Sadie just fucking around with them like it's nothing because she really is barely worried about his wellbeing... yeah, I think that shit's gonna fuck him up a little bit.

But no, Steven basically just... tells him to get the fuck over it. Because, like, he's not there so she can do whatever the fuck she wants, immediately. Fuck is this shit? Like all of five minutes into the episode Steven just starts fucking explaining this shitty twisted aesop to both Lars and the audience. Yeah man, you go die in space, your gf can immediately go do everything you ever angsted over with ease and I'll come rub it in your face and you should just fucking get over it because u totes love her that much, lol. *You* aren't entitled to your own emotions.

Oh and then Steven compares Sadie's faffing to Lars's fucking comandeering a space ship in order to keep himself alive. Because the woman's feelsies are equivalent to the man's fucking life. Guys, what the fuck am I watching?...

I think this is one of those... things... this show does, where it at first vaguely approaches something that would pass for a normal human cognitive outputting, but then turns, farts in your face like that sexy alien from Star Wars and flits off like Tinkerbell leaving you confused and asmellied. Where in an attempt to create an unthought new aesop never before cognizized by mankind it ends up with a bizarre twisted mess.

At the very least Steven maybe shoulda thought twice before bringing some of those photos. "Oh, look how well your abusive not-gf has been doing without you! Befriending everyone you ever wanted to befriend but couldn't because you need a fucking therapist! Yeah that'll make him feel better". Hey, remember when Steven was empathic, you guise? I mean that being thrown the fuck out was part of what defines this arc, but come on...

It also severely hurts the thing that it's played out so fast. Lars is #triggered by the photos, okay, but then Steven immediately gets on his case and REEEEEs at him for... trying to destroy Sadie's something or other, because I don;t fucking know feminism is the radical idea that a man's emotional freedom is so disgusting it'll destroy a pure beautiful deserving woman from a distance of a thousand light-years in a fucking instant- Calm your fucking tits, Steven Sugar, we're in the middle of fucking space, Lars has no way of destroying Sadie's whatever the fuck it was he was supposed to be destroying. Let him have his knee-jerk reaction. Also, all of a week or a month away from your best friend slash romantic interest is enough you should expect she's moved on from you completely. Okay.

... Hey, wait a minute, I thought Kevin Praty taught us that sniveling was the way to get all the pretty wymyn? What might have changed between then and now, a difference of one entire episode? ... No, really, I have no fucking clue. This time, the contradiction is so fucking incoherent I can't even turn it into "because Sugar and feminists like her place female emotions above all else". The only way I can see it is if shitting on certain types of males is equal to or higher than muh womans, as the Kevin Party incident was twisted specifically to work at Kevin's expense. ... It's funny how this runs completely opposite what I'd think most people would find healthy. If the person you're hurt over is nowhere fucking near you then get it out of your system, but don't go dumping all your emotional baggage on them at a fucking party. This show wants us to bottle up our emotions when there's no fucking reason to at all but mainline emotional diarrhea in the most inappropriate of situations. what is this shit?

lol the crew are made so fucking useless just by a single fucking photo phone just take it from him One of the shitgems calls Stevvie "friends"... plural. they aren't a singular "they". SOC JUS FAUX PAS

man i can;t believe stevonnie;s fucking dead to bad the show ended here guys i guess homeworld can just go take over the world now. it's better this way

-

This was apparently some sort of special event called "Stranded", but the stranding only lasts one episode. Oooooookay.

This one is entirely just a nitpick, but I find it so strangely interesting from a writing perspective that I just can't leave it out... The "everything is broken" joke is like three lines long and two lines two long. Stevonnie is like, man what's broken and we're shown the readout from the ship showing everything flashing red, okay... and then she's like, ohhh man wow look almost everything it broken?? who expect that ha ha. And then she says, at least the screen works... and that immediately gets broken. Ha haaaaa. I dunno bout you, but I woulda laughed more if they'd just cut it short- have Stevonnie see the screen and go "oh, everything" or even just "oh", in that high-pitched, slightly breathy tone of voice that says "well, shit". Then crash. Boom, short sweet and to the point and gives you like ten more seconds this episode to spend on the plot of the epi- oh wait

Stevonnie is stranded on spaceplanet because no communications, but... xei have magic. Just... shoot some magic fireworks or start a magic fire for smoke signals. Or a normal fire, even. If the problem is that random new green gem will also find you if you do this... actually mention that. Steven and Connie don't even seem to consider sending a physical signal of any kind, even though it should be an obvious idea.

And then Stevenconnie just... finds a random alien species? And casually eats it? This... this just raises so many questions... Throughout the entire run of this show up until this date, the only alien species we've seen has been the gems. The center of the entire show, something that's been continually developed (if not consistently, coherently or well)- there's a decent amount of thought put into how these lifeforms that're completely unlike anything on Earth function, both in biology and society, with some degree of interplay between the two. The show was kept focused on the effects of Rose's rebellion and events related to it, and we avoided all the extra thought, logic and possible scientific plot holes that would be brought into existence by trying to create and balance multiple forms if alien life from multiple different origins. But now they just... dumped this stuff on in there? Because why

This is at once the first new alien species we've seen since the very beginning of the show, the first organic species, the first animalistic/non-sentient species, and the first found in it's alien habitat... and not only are a fucking bunch of them all introduced at once, they're thrown in casually and Stevonnie fucking eats most of them. What the fuck? There's no thought put into these things either, they're just a bunch of wacky squacky animals mainly comprised of random Earth animal parts. There's no logic to how they work, why they exist, how they evolved like this, they're just... wacky funny animals for no reason. Fuck you. After the series up until this point has focused on developing one species with an entirely different biology, history and culture from humans, with all of those things to at least some degree influencing or connected to each other, seeing these critters introduced just at random with no logic or context is incredibly jarring. This was such a fucking bad idea...

Also Stevonne eats the fucking fruits and animals and drinks the water because all planets just have human-compatible food species and good old motherfucking H2O I guess

stevonnie has more stubble than steven ever did because i hate life and i hate everything. this is disgusting. It's even distributed weirdly; instead of being on ziouir's chin it spreads up either side of zoidrgh's face and actually on to the cheeks. And we just have to see it's fugly little cheekstubble for the entire fucking rest of the episode. gagh

And then we get to this... really weird dream sequence where some really weird writing decisions are made. It starts off in Connie's house with Connie's mom... uh, rising up out of the carpeting, but Stevonnie identifies them as "my house" and "my mom". Stevonnie is both Steven and Connie, but given we're used to Steven being the main character and usual viewpoint throughout the entire series this comes off as though it's Steven saying this is "his house/mom". But, you know, they're not. And for any fan who's not devoted enough to commit to memory which character's household interior this is, it's misleading until Connie's mom shows up and then confusing after that. Why the fuck did the writers decide to write the scene like this? Why not have Stevonnie go "my, uh, your, uh, Connie's house" or some shit? Or just remove this part entirely because it gets really weird when the mom starts talking about EXTERMINATING ORGANIC LIFE and setvonnie notices nothing. Then the mom turns into this... weird brownwashed minority fusion version of YD with a big ol' jellyglob of Conmom's hair slapped onto the back of her head. What is this shit? if you're going to make it a meaningful dream you can't just do random shit like that. stop mixing messages. Just... stop. why did they choose to do this, and with Conmom specifically? If it's supposed to imply PD and YD's relationship is like Connie and her mom's... well first of all, that doesn;t fucking work because PD is nothing like Connie at all. But ignoring that, if it's supposed to imply YD is some sort of a parental figure to PD... why Connie's mom? She's not particularly important, and we don;t know her all that well. If it's not a comparison to her specifically and it's just that she parent... why Connie;s mom? Of all the parental figures in the show, because... I don't know, this is dumb fuck this

Though once that shit stops I actually almost like this dream sequence. Having our main character taking the place of PD in the dream, reliving her memories, it not being clear we "are" PD and that Stevonnie is acting out this memory rather than acting under xfer own will until we get to the mirror scene, where Stevonnie punches the reflection of PD while their own appearance remains the same... that's pretty fucking nice. This might also be a manifestation of that Stockholm syndrome I mentioned earlier, though. PD wants things and is frustrated with her current situation. She tries to get what she wants by bitching at someone else to give it to her, sure, but the way she storms off on her own and punches the mirror implies she wants to change things, there's just something holding her back. She has a trajectory. Apparently the fnadom hates her for being a brat, but I almost like her. ..... bets are open on how long it takes for the writers to completely fuck this up.

and then steven and connie just go home and who fucking cares nothing mattersfuck this show

... It seems the fandom has latched on to PD being an off-color because she's small (because height is a color what the fuck is that term why is it that). Like the rich family that hides their embarrassing retarded offspring in the basement, I guess. (i still crackship lars with kevin by the way)

#steven pooniverse #anti steven universe

[meusyou-blog1]

Discovering Me

I haven’t posted in a while. Things got too busy, but something has changed since the last post. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and the most important thing I’ve learned has to do with this month, Pride Month. 

Buckle up. This will be a long ride. But don’t worry. There will be a tl;dr at the bottom.

CW: Discussion of Erasure, Discourse, brief discussion of rape (#6 on lists), some foul language, let me know if I missed anything.

This past year, I learned that I am asexual. Not only am I asexual, but I’m questioning my romantic orientation. Maybe I’m heteroromantic, and maybe I’m biromantic. Questioning is what started my journey to discovering my asexuality, so I’m embracing this next step in my journey, to fight against my internalized behavior and view on certain subjects and break free to discovering me. But this post isn’t so much about that. That will be a different post, maybe tomorrow or maybe next year. Who knows. Discovering Me Part 2 is on the way.

This post is about my experience within my first year of embracing Asexuality. No one else, though part of my observations have included many people within the Asexual community. If you want to skip this paragraph, feel free, but this is a quick summary of the discovery process. Many moons ago (cheap way to get out of actually having the figure out the years) I met one of my closest friends on a website. We began discussing many subjects, and eventually landed on the subject of sexuality. It was at this point that I learned what Asexuality was. It was the first time I’d ever heard of it. Outside of biology, of course. I had so much to learn, and in learning, I discovered that we had a lot in common. It took me years to figure out that this was because I was, in fact, asexual. My whole life, I’ve been asexual, and never knew. 

Since coming out as Asexual, I’ve never felt better about myself. I’ve learned that there is nothing wrong with me, because there are others like me and I am valid. It’s okay to not feel sexual attraction and it’s okay to not want to engage in sexual activities. Even more so, sexuality is a spectrum and one can be fluid. It’s now my belief that sexual and romantic orientation can be static or fluid equally, and it depends on the individual.

Now, the reason for this post. It’s the end of Pride Month. My first Pride Month. I was so happy to be me, and I was so happy to be able to celebrate with the other Aces I’ve met through group pages on Tumblr and Facebook. There was a lot of positivity for each other in these groups. But what I found outside of them?

Quite frankly, a lot of the behavior has been disgraceful.

Now wait. I’m sure there are plenty of people already writing responses to say how I’m ‘making something out of nothing’ or ‘trying to play the victim.’ Hell, I’m sure there are people who already stopped reading to tell me how I’m not valid. But see, that’s the point of this post. 

Let me list a few things I’ve learned this month about Asexuality specifically. If I talked about everything, this would be the longest post ever, and no one is going to read it anyway so I might as well just cover the one thing. I may or may not agree with these things, we’ll get to that later. This is just a list of what I’ve observed. I will edit as necessary.

1. Asexuals are not oppressed. 

2. Asexuality isn’t a real sexuality.

3. Cisgender, Heteroromantic Asexuals do not belong in the LGBTQIA+ community.

4. Asexuals likely suffer from something (trauma, low libido, blahblahBLAHblahblah, what have you...)

5. Asexuals, by creating their own community, are threatening the LGBTQIA+ community. 

6. The use of the term “Corrective Rape” is inappropriate and an insult to lesbians for which the term was originally used.

These were the biggest ones. There were others, and if anyone is reading this, please feel free to continue this list if you like. Discussion is the point. Also, before we continue, yes, I know not all LGBTQIA+. We have a ton of supporters in the community, and we’re all aware and grateful for the support, just as you are of your supporters. But the others. Those who don’t support. They often have the loudest voices. I’m sure you know. 

Now, I’m not trying to overshadow anyone else’s problems. Trans and Bisexuals in the community are getting a lot of hate from the community as well. I recognize and understand that. Most of us in the Asexual community do. So let’s just start with one easy fact we can all agree on, yes?

For most of us, we feel we were born this way. Of course, other situations can play into our current orientations. But most of us believe that the way we are is the way we’ve always been, at least to some degree. That’s part of the joy of being ‘out,’ isn’t it? So I can’t blame a gay man for only liking men in that manner. Nor can I blame a trans woman for being a woman. No one can blame me for not feeling sexual attraction, or a demisexual for only feeling sexual attraction after creating a strong emotional bond. See, sexuality and romantic orientation are almost impossible to lump into groups. Everyone has a different experience, and that’s why spectrums exist. We need to respect that while someone is under an umbrella term, they may not identify entirely with the majority. One small change is all it takes to be viewed as an outsider. Or at least that’s what I have observed. All sexualities are valid. This does not include anything outside of sexual attraction, though. Do not be confused, and do not tell me pedophiles belong in the lgbtqia+ community. That is a different discussion. Moving on. Let’s talk about the list. 

1. Asexuals are not oppressed. Wrong. NOW WAIT! Before you start typing away, here’s why: Oppression comes in many shapes and sizes. No one is saying we are getting killed in the streets during daytime because we don’t feel sexual attraction. Literally no one, and I’ve been looking. We are not comparing ourselves to other members of the community. We are not systematically oppressed. Sure. But we are oppressed to some degree (This is not to say we are oppressed by outside hate groups). Oppression isn’t a race to the finish line. It’s not a ‘who has it worse’ game. Oppression sucks no matter how much you experience. Telling me that I have never been called an abomination just walking down the street, so that doesn’t make me a member of the community, is the most ridiculous fucking thing I’ve ever heard. “Did you get threatened today? I did. Out with you!” Hi. I have news for you. Perhaps we are not getting death threats from as many straight people as you. But guess what? If you’re about to type in the comments “If you’re not systemically oppressed, you don’t belong in the community,” Many people would say YOU’RE THE OPPRESSOR HI HELLO.

We want other people who AREN’T THE SAME AS US to say “Hi. You’re Asexual? That’s neat. I’m ____. Wanna be friends?” Instead of “Hi. You’re Asexual? Here’s why you’re not.” This, friends, is erasure. It takes many forms, but this one is pretty common. “Oh you just have a low libido/you haven’t met the right person yet/have you tried having sex/etc.” Basically, people are telling us our sexuality is not valid, and more of a ‘phase’ that can be ‘cured’ in some shape or form. Is erasure oppression? A little bit, I’d think. Doesn’t it sound familiar? I mostly think that because other groups have brought up their own erasure as a form of oppression in the past. So....? Let’s move forward.

I’m going to bring number 6 up as it’s own, so have patience. We’re gonna skip right over to the community here. We covered erasure. Let’s next talk about the definition of Oppression. Feel free to look it up on google. Here are some keywords/phrases: Burdened by troubles, adverse conditions, anxiety, etc. The exercise of authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or unjust manner. 

Oh, Tumblr. How guilty you are. Not just you, of course, but let’s just jump right into the toxicity of many loud bloggers. Cisgender Heteromantic Asexuals often experience not only erasure but straight up bullying. Yes ladies and gents and those in between, cyber bullying. This is not my main blog. This is my ‘who cares what anyone else reads or says of mine’ blog. I have been told I don’t exist. I have been told I don’t belong. I have been told I don’t belong in the community. I have been told I must be a bad girlfriend, unable to provide. I have been told I will never find love, and will die alone. What was that definition again? The exercise of authority or power in a what manner? Get this! most often than not, I am not asked my romantic orientation. I am not given a chance to say “I currently identify as heterosexual, but I’m questioning if I may be bisexual.” That is an afterthought, after all the acid has been spewed. 

I have been told I just need a good lay to be normal. I have been the butt of jokes, because being Asexual is apparently funny. I have been coerced into sexual activities with their partners, even though I didn’t want to. I have been told that I can be ‘fixed’ if I just open up to a therapist (which, btw, for those who don’t know, I’ve been told multiple times that Asexuality was considered a mental illness until like 2013). I have been told, many times, that I should just ‘kill myself’. Not only by straight people. That’s right. Members of the community. All of these Ace Hate pages? Yes, hello, welcome to the party. You are the oppressors! 

I also want to point out that, again, everything is a spectrum. There are Cisgender HETEROROMANTIC Bisexuals. It happens. There are Cisgender Heteroromantic Homosexuals who may choose not to identify as bisexual, and that is their choice. So what makes me straight if I identify as a Cisgender Heteroromantic Asexual? That is not heteronormative.

2. Asexuality isn’t a real sexuality. Well, maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I’m not the authority on this, and you sure as hell aren’t either. I didn’t sign up for this. But let’s talk about sexuality. When we label our sexuality, we are effectively saying “this gets me going.” We’re saying I am sexually attracted to ____. So Asexuals are saying “I am sexually attracted to nothing.” Now, that’s a generalization because again, spectrum, but you get the idea. So maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s just a name for nothing. But where it gets tricky is when we talk about sex-positivity, sex-neutrality, and sex-repulsivity. These are a part of the spectrum of Asexuality, and I’m sure you’re all smart enough to figure out what it means. Basically, you either view sex positively and may like to participate, you don’t care either way, or sex is gross for whatever reason. Everyone perceives sex differently. That’s okay. I think by saying Asexual isn’t a real sexuality, people are erasing that some Asexuals do actually have sex. I don’t know. Could just be me. Either way, I consider Asexuality a real sexuality, because otherwise, I am nothing. I’m not straight. Just a bit of space dust on a rock. :) 

3. Cisgender, Heteroromantic Asexuals do not belong in the community. Why? If you read the last couple paragraphs for my explanation of number 1, as well as my response to number 2, this shouldn’t still be an argument. Let’s discuss what it means to be straight. You must be 3 things to be straight. 1) Cisgender. Check. I bring this up because, while it has been pointed out this is a transphobic statement (which is not my intention,) it is used in arguments literally all the time against asexuals, and therefore, it is only my observation that people are using this to reinforce being ‘straight’. Many people in the community are cisgendered, so watch out! You could be straight, too! Hold on, calm down, two more to go. 2) Heteroromantic. Check(ish?). Phew, some of you are safe! But, still, not all. See, as I stated above, being a certain orientation sexually is not always mirrored romantically. For instance, and this is a real person I know, I have a Heteroromantic friend who is quite Bisexual. There’s totally nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s great. Because, again, spectrum. So look out! You’re not all safe yet! Here we go.....drumroll....3) Heterosexual. Ouch! Missed by one. How’d everyone else do? If you said yes to all 3, you’re straight! If not, guess what! You’re not! And that’s awesome. Everything is awesome. Be who you are proudly! But most of all, stop shitting on everyone else. Now, I understand some straight people are shitty. But some people in the community can be just as shitty. Please see my response to number 1. ;) Basically, if you ain’t straight, you’re in the community, friend! It’s based off of an early principle of the community - You are welcome if you fall outside of heteronormativity. 

4. Asexuality is likely a result of abuse, trauma, illness, etc... Okay so most of the time I hear this from straight people. I’m not surprised. It’s okay to not understand something. But know when to listen and have an open mind. At the end of the day, you need to stay in your lane. It’s cool. It’s a learning process.

Now, for community members who say this. Are you for real? Don’t you remember when people were saying that about you? Treating your orientations as a phase? Telling you it must be from all that abuse, or because mommy let you join choir instead of football, or daddy didn’t let you date? Don’t you remember when everyone thought it was a mental illness? They still say it! You’re still hearing it! Or have you forgotten so quickly? Why do you say this to us? And for those of us for which this statement is true, why in hell does this make us less valid? Whether it was the result of abuse, trauma, etc., or not, it’s not your job to tell us why we are the way we are. Instead of shaming us for the result, try welcoming us and treating us as friends. Again, we’re not getting killed in the streets. No, I don’t fear for my life because I say I’m Asexual. But our emotions are valid, and emotional trauma as well as physical trauma is tragic when happening to anyone. Just because asexuality =/= death (yet, since it’s still barely known who knows what could happen), doesn’t mean we don’t need a space. It’s a smaller space. We’re fine with that. 

5. Asexual communities are a threat to LGBTQIA+ communities. How? Somewhere I read that Asexuals currently make up less than 1% of the population. Maybe that number just came out of someone’s ass, but we’re definitely a minority. I know 2 people irl who identify on the Asexual spectrum. 2. In 25 years of living. Honestly, who knows how many of us are out there, because many people don’t even know what Asexuality is yet, as evidenced by the “you can’t reproduce by yourself” messages some Ace groups get. They’re quite funny. Anyway, yes. We have our own community. It is the Ace community. Are you Ace? You’re in the community. Welcome. Are you Trans? You’re in the Trans community. Are you Gay? You’re in the Gay community. See how this works? And, are you not straight? Welcome. You are in the LGBTQIA+ community. 

Nay-sayers have been telling us to create our own community since we’ve been vocal about our sexuality. “You don’t belong here. If you want a safe space, make your own.” We made our community a little more solid. “How dare you try to overshadow us and steal our resources!” Okay. You’re ridiculous. 

The fact of the matter is, you’re not going to be happy so long as we exist. It’s a lonely world out there, especially when you feel like you don’t belong. Or did you not experience that? Must be nice. Maybe you’ve forgotten. No one understands us completely except for other people like us. So of COURSE we have a community. Just like you do. It’s nice. It helps us feel valid. It’s a support system for when something else in our life falls to hell because, surprise, we’re not ‘normal’. But we’re so. small. We want to be part of something bigger so that we can feel accepted and bond over our shared experiences, instead of being reminded of how we’re different. Isn’t that what you wanted? Did you forget? 

One last note on this. I have seen a LOT of arguments about whether or not the A stands for Ally or Asexual, or both (I mean, the Q is Queer or Questioning, right?) but some people (in and out of our community) feel that straight allies receive less push back than asexuals in the community. Strange. Now, I haven’t seen this because I steer clear of most LGBTQIA+ events. Why? Well I would love to participate, but I’m afraid of being harassed by people who think I don’t belong. So I can show up as an Ally, but I can’t show up as an Asexual? What if I want to be an Ally? I want to help your fight. It’s awful what happens to you. I can’t be, because I’m Asexual? Because I’m not going to keep my Asexuality to myself. I’m proud of my Asexuality. So evidently, I can’t be both. Isn’t the community about several smaller communities coming together to fight for rights and visibility? If the Asexual community wants to join your fight and help the larger community, why is that so terrible?

6. Corrective Rape is a term that was created specifically for Lesbians is how this was first put to me. I nearly choked on air. Yes, Lesbians and female bisexuals (males as well? Let me know if this is the case-) are treated horribly by many societies. Yes, they are raped to teach them the ‘correct’ way to be. It’s disgusting. Everyone knows it’s disgusting, and as a woman who was assaulted in a very different situation, I can tell you firsthand it’s one of the worst things that can happen to a human being. 

I have a story that some of you may not want to read, so skip this if you feel you may get upset. It involves a woman who is Asexual, and a man who is not. The woman trusts this man. He is a father, or brother, or relative, or husband, or date, or stranger. This woman tells this man that she does not feel sexual attraction. Maybe she needed to tell someone. Maybe she needed to tell him so he didn’t create expectations. Maybe she’s just very open about herself and very proud of who she is. Then, this man laughs at her and tells her she’s silly. He tells her she just hasn’t had a good fuck. She becomes offended, and tries to explain her sexuality, but he continues to laugh at her and says he knows how to ‘fix’ her. Maybe he tries.

Get the picture? I won’t continue. We all know what happens next. What does that sound like, to you? Does it sound like a normal rape story? Sure. Except for one keyword. Fix. What about if the man suddenly became irrationally angry? Does that make it more convincing? That happens, too. Either way, in some way or another, it is done with the goal to ‘fix’ her. Or him. Or them. Whoever it may be in this story. Because there are a million different ways this story could go. So tell me. What does this sound like to you? Does it sound like rape with the purpose of correcting? 

Some people argue that the term was ‘coined’ (as was said to me) for Lesbians. But this term is describing an event. Look up the definition. Whether or not that is the case, this is the best way to describe this situation. And it happens. Like it or not, you can’t change that. No one can. And to look someone in the face and say that despite your experiences, you’re not valid? 

Like it or not, if someone is not Cisgender, Heteroromantic, and Heterosexual all at the same time, they are not straight. That is what straight is. You can’t change that definition to *gasp* exclude someone. It’s not your job. This community is about providing a safe space, for everyone to feel welcome and included because we don’t fit in with straight people. Yes, some groups experience more dangerous oppression than others, and they deserve all the resources they require. Yes, other groups needs to recognize when they do not need certain resources. But we all need to realize that oppression in any form is toxic. It is painful, and we could all use love and acceptance. This is working together to understand that we all hurt, but some of us are privileged in being able to have only emotional hurt, instead of physical and emotional hurt. That doesn’t make the hurt less valid. Ever. But it certainly means we have a space, and we need to stay in it. Everyone in the community should be of this mindset: “Come in, join us. You belong somewhere. You are valid. Here is your space. Please stay in your space.” This is working together to create a better community than we left. A better community than the one that rejected us all. 

Happy Pride Month, everyone. I’m PROUD to be a Cisgender, Heteroromanticish Asexual, and I am PROUD to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community! 

TL;DR: 

You know what? I can’t condense that. It’s all too important. But I WILL leave a reminder: I am but one person speaking on my own about things I have observed in and out of the community. These are my thoughts as it stands, and of course are subject to change. I am open to discussion, and more than willing to learn more about other people’s experiences. 

Finally, most of this post WAS aimed at the minority. Most people in the community do not sit around and hate on Asexuals. I said it earlier and I will say it again and again. But hopefully this post was informative for somebody.

#asexual #pride #pride month #lgbtqia #oppression #ace #ace discourse #ace erasure #ace pride

[jonghyyn]

why do you assume everything is for "the gays"? and why do you use titles like "the gays" or "the heteros"? people like you are the reason there is so much separation and hate in our society. i'm not saying "the heteros" (so i can use your language) aren't just as bad, but you do not contribute anything positive to this issue either.

first off everything is for the gays so jot that down. the trees? for the gays. that traffic light you drove past? gay property. the website myspace.com? you need gay authorization to enter.  the air in ur lungs right now? produced for the gays and for the gays only

but besides that dude like just fucking stop and consider for a second. Just One Single Second. what ur saying here. people like me, people on tumblr.com saying things like “haha  yeah croissants are for the gays” is what causes separation and hate in society. not the rampant anti-lgbtq discrimination, not the parents that kick their kids out for being gay, not the system of homophobia that forces gay people into the closet, not the places in the world where its literally illegal to be gay. not the centuries of historical precedent that Exist of gay people dealing with oppression. none of that no! its jokes on tumblr.com about stuff being for that gays thats the Real Hate and Oppression. 

“hte heteros” arent Just As Bad, theyre literally miles fucking worse. straight people have set up systems in society where its Literally Dangerous to be not straight. literally!! homophobia fucking exists dude and theres nothing comparable like “heterophobia” in the world. theres not a single country in the entire world where there has Ever been legislation against being straight, where it has Ever been dangerous to be straight. theres no history of straight people being oppressed. you literally cannot compare jokes on tumblr dot come to systems of oppression that harm people every single day. the idea that you can is so ridiculous i just dont have any fucking words for it. it genuinely baffles me how straight youve gotta be to log into tumblr, see gay people make jokes about things being gay, then decide that Theses Jokes Made By Oppressed People As Reactions To Their Oppression are the real harm. these jokes arent backed by societal power. me saying paper is for the gays is not magically going to play into a law where straight people are banned from writing on paper.  on the other hand, straight people saying “the gays can’t have this” isn’t just some funny joke because in the Real Actual World, gay people are barred from accessing things!! they are shunned from spaces!! “the gays can’t have this” isn’t just some absurd hypothetical but a reality.

you need to look into the concept of punching up versus punching down. when people don’t have privilege + power bc of their identites, them making jokes about ppl with privilege aren’t harmful on wide scale bc they don’t have the power to actual enact these things. its like if a rich person makes fun of a poor person vs a poor person making fun of the rich person. one person in this dynamic actually has power and is not being hurt by societal systems. its not comparable things. 

you cannot separate things from historical context. i, as a queer person, am existing in a world where i have had my sexuality demonized. i look and everywhere i see i am confronted with homophobia. in response i make jokes about it and /im/ the one creating hate? its like if someone punched a person in the face, and the person who was punched made a joke at their expense. are they the one causing hate? or is it the person who punched someone in the first place? why do we put the onus on people who are Affected By Oppression to never make jokes about their oppression, instead of on the oppressors who are causing it in the first place. we don’t exist as isolated points, free from societal context where our words don’t impact larger systems at play. 

while queer ppl can, of course, be queerphobic and perpetuate systems of homophobia, by and far the people who uphold homophobia are straight people. do you think lgbtq ppl looked at themselves and decided their identities were Bad like does that make any fucking sense. the idea that being gay is bad originated from straight people and its a notion taught to everyone, which is why lgbtq ppl can perpetuate bigoted ideas. when gay people make fun of The Heteros, theyre coming at it from having to deal with heteronormativity that harms their life. if a straight person was to do the same, what they do is play into a system of queerphobia that literally causes lgbtq people to be murdered. 

this is a whole fucking lot but honestly dude i dont even know what to say to you. do you really think that i, making jokes on tungle dot com, am in any way impacting peoples lives? do u think this is comparable to lgbtp ppl being Literally Being Murdered By Straight People For Being Gay? why the fuck am i not allowed to make jokes about stuff that harms me. these jokes arent for the benefit of straight ppl bc not everything us gays do is For Our Cause like goddamn we’re allowed to have intercommunity jokes amongst ourselves to be able 2 laugh !! why is this such a baffling thought. why do i have to cater every single moment of my life to making straight ppl feel comfortable. why am i not allowed to make jokes about my oppression. also literally all of society???? deems everything for straight ppl ??????? Literally heteronormative isnt just the default but its the Enforced Default. why do straight ppl who Actually Have The Power to force everything to be for the straights assume everything is for the straights. heteronormativity Exists and the idea that everything is straight is deeply embedded into our societies, and jokes about things being for The Gays™ don’t exist in some space that is separate from heteronormativity. these jokes are shaped by the society they come from. ignoring context and Why certain jokes are made/certain jokes are acceptable and the real-world influence they have literally leads u to the shallowest understanding. it leads u to equating things that have no business being equated, bc they are not being done in the same context. 

anyway i literally cant believe how straight ppl are so fucking threatened by someone saying “music belongs to the gays” as if the collective gay militia is gonna break into ur home and personally take ur headphones out of ur ears instead of recognizing it as A Joke and not comparing it institutional oppression that gets people murdered every day but Whatever. straight people are beyond parody

#long post #i didnt proofread this at all bc honestly i just... its so ridiculous to leave that anon #the specific phrase 'the gays' is like... ironic #bc calling gay ppl The Gays is something those conservatives would do to sound dehumanizing #the (nouns) is a typical way in english to make something sound derisive #hte reason lgbtq ppl use it is Irony like #yeah u know what we're the gays we'll Take That Phrase Back #L I T ER AL LY i cant believe i read 'the reason theres hate is bc someone say something belongs to gays' #AS if a person whose vp thinks its okay to electrocute gay kids hasnt been elected like go Outside #what actually exists in the real world and impacts people #queer ppls entire lives are Politicized like not every single action of mine is about helping 'the issue' im allowed humor #stop seeing lgbtq identites as inherently political and coloring every action of theres by whether they help The Cause or not #and read up about punching up vs punching down !!!!!!!!! #man i think i usually try to reign in some amount of my snappiness but i just...cant here dude. go outside and look at the aggressively het #eromornative world #anon #ask

[scalira]

honestly just curious here, but what exactly are you so angry about regarding shadowhunters season 2? besides the whole malec sex thing which was horrible yes and perhaps the izzy drug thing?

There are a lot of things that really annoyed me this season so I’m sure I’m forgetting some but let’s try to sum some up:

(Uhm I’m putting this under a read more because this got longer than I thought it would!)

the constant sidelining of Luke. One of the showrunners said it’s because there are “a lot of characters to juggle” (x) but he’s one of the mains?? So that’s a weak ass excuse

In season 1, the narrative was written in a way that urged the viewer to sympathize and identify with the Downworlders. The Shadowhunters were obviously the morally grey ‘protectors’, the people who didn’t really care if a Downworlder life or two were lost on their mission (see the multiple scenes in which the Shadowhunters carelessly kill vampires). We were told again and again through the narrative that Downworlders represent real life minorities and that the Shadowhunters are in many ways their oppressors. But in season 2, however, this narrative completely changes. Suddenly the viewer is urged to forget about the Downworlders and focus on the Shadowhunters instead. All the Downworlders are either sidelined, brutalized, needlessly and graphically tortured, demonized or just completely written out. They are shown to be disobeyant, unorganized, careless and disloyal. Maia struggles with Luke’s authority, Alaric and the pack don’t even look for Luke when he goes missing, Luke acts abusive towards Maia by locking her in a freezer (knowing full well she’s claustrophobic because of past abuse) and tazing her, something we all know Luke would never do. They are intentionally writing the Downworlders OOC so that we would stop identifying with them. There’s a brief mention of a brewing civil war between vampires, only to never be mentioned again. Magnus’ scenes with people that aren’t Shadowhunters can be counted on one hand. The writers are trying really hard to just completely erase all importance the Downworlders hold.

the lack of consent in the Malec pre-sex scene

how little screentime Malec, their only m/m canon relationship, gets compared to hetero messes like r*zzy

how the little screentime Malec does get is often used in promos so that fans will promote the show, hype up their scenes, etc. only to have their scenes cut from the actual episode

they way they’re writing Magnus to basically be Alec’s trophy husband. Hello, he owns a club?? He has a business?? Where are his clients, his Warlock friends, him being shown doing his job??? He’s literally just waiting around for Alec to come home (”go, Shadowhunter. I’ll be right here waiting.”)

Izzy’s complete addiction arc. It was handled poorly and insensitively, there were a lot of racist undertones such as a black character providing her with drugs, a Latina character getting addicted to said drugs and a Latino character later providing her with a different way of getting her drugs

Izzy’s “relationship” with Raphael was needlessly romantized and sexualized. Another showrunner literally called their scenes romantic (x) when their entire fling was purely based on mutual addiction. There was nothing healthy about it.

Raphael’s coming out as asexual was, again, handled poorly. People with lack of knowledge about asexuality wouldn’t even know he’s asexual. I’ve seen people think he doesn’t do sex because he’s religious. Why is it so hard to use words to define sexualities??? Let Magnus say he’s bi, let Alec say he’s gay, let Raphael say he’s ace.

White saviorism

the needless villainization of Raj

Killing off female characters for shock value (Jocelyn, Gretel)

Torturing Downworlders and graphically showing the aftermath (Raphael, Meliorn)

everything is a hetero mess and I’m suffering

we were told that this was our show. It was supposed to be groundbreaking, it was supposed to be a show for LGBT+ fans and fans of color. But all the characters of color are being paid dust (Victor, Raj, Izzy, Magnus, Raphael, Luke, Alaric, Meliorn, Maia) with exception of maybe Simon? But even that’s debatable and we have one (1) gay and one (1) bi character while they had so many opportunities to give us more queer rep

queerbaiting :) (seriously, none of Simon’s ‘coming out’ jokes are actually funny if the narrative is going to continue to portray him as straight)

WHERE. ARE. THE. SAPPHICS!!!!!!!!

speaking of sapphics, clizzy was baited so hard in the first half of the season (I didn’t watch past 2x06 but both r*zzy as cl*mon happened afterwards so I guess the clizzy scenes got less gay) and I’m sure the writers did it intentionally to get sapphic viewers desperate for rep to keep watching. Fucking hell, they even put romantic fucking music over one of their scenes when Izzy comforts Clary and tells her she’ll always have her

ANYWAY this is getting really long so I’m ending it there. I think I covered all the basics, but if someone has anything to add, feel free to do so.

#lana answers #long post #abuse // #torture // #q slur reclaimed //

[colorisbyshe]

I've spent five minutes on your ace humor receipt(?) blog and I had to close the tab because it kept getting worse. Ace tumblr has no coherent definition of asexuality, fine. They don't know anything about the history, terminology and language of the community they claim to belong to, fine. They're all still collectively stuck in their "RAWWWWR! i'm so random (OoO)" phase. Also fine. But none of their "jokes" are remotely funny, just embarrassing. How and why do these posts have so many notes?

I understand teenagers finding some of these posts hilarious, especially if they're a little awkward and they feel like they don't belong/fit in but honestly, if I still identified as ace now in my mid-twenties, I'd feel embarrassed at posting, reblogging or even liking most/all the posts you compiled. I don't get it. It's like they enjoy infantilizing themselves and then claim some widespread aphobia and cishethetallopatriarchy being responsible for that when it's... literally their own doing.            

Yeah, I’ve made posts before how how self-infantalizing they are and how I think it’s a combo of adults doing it to appeal to young people, adults doing it to escape culpability (ie frame the community as some fangless, witless childlike entity that is too innocent to be full of oppressors, bigots, and creeps), and then it’s just... the result of a lot of young people (like preteen/low teens) trying to mold an identity around sexuality. So, 1/3rd actually innocent (despite being cringeworthy) and 2/3rds pathetic at best, evil at worst.

I think what gets me the most after spending an hour in the ace jokes/ace humor tags is just... how repetitive it is? A dozen iterations of “netflix and JUST CHILLING” (many made recently, as in MONTHS and MONTHS after that meme has died), about twelve dozen “There’s an ace up your sleeve, it’s me!” and then some weird combos of “I’m ace so I don’t give a fuck” and “Lmao, I can realize people are PRETTY I’m not BLIND I’m juST ACE.” Then there’s a lot of shit that they call puns that aren’t really puns. It’s like watching the tires spin on a car but it’s not moving. There’s just... not enough to build a community on, even with the most tangible definition of asexuality (not having sex or even not being attraction to anyone).

Ace culture is focused on not having sex. Not having sex doesn’t make you immature--plenty of adults are virgins/celibate/just not having sex for so many different reasons. But when you make that a core part of your identity... I think that does kinda call on a level of immaturity. Just like I think if you centered your identity around having lots and lots of sex.. I’d be like okay if your frat age, fine, but that’s also... immature. If you’re going up to your coworkers making puns about how much sex you have... you’re immature. When that is a core part of who you are, people are allowed to stop taking you seriously at a certain point.

Which is like... if you spend even a second comparing “ace culture” to LGBT culture, the cracks are readily apparent. Or culture is based in love and making light of sex because of our oppression tied to it. It’s mocking our oppressors and music celebrating our love. It’s fashion, it’s art (and complex art, not just a character holding a flag), it’s history, it’s... solidarity and so much more.

Because our identities MEAN something and are complex and nuanced and both innocent and adult. We’re not making a big deal of it for nothing, there’s a reason why our identities araseasee significant even though it SHOULDN’T have to matter.

Before I turned off IMs from people who I don’t follow, someone messaged me to explain how I was wrong and I just got shit like:

This devolves into me saying, “Like gay culture but for aces” and then they can’t name what gay culture is. Whatever

That’s what ace culture is. Hats.

This isn’t sustainable. And this is a fucking joke. Asexuality, as an identity that means 20 different things that directly contract each othat, cannot sustain a community or a culture or a meaningful history.

#ace discourse #Anonymous