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ncsf · 2 months

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Celebrate Metamour Day on Feb 28!

Metamour Day was created to honor the relationships between you and your partners’ partners, however that might look. It is not about forced compersion. It’s about communal appreciation within our family structures and modeling positivity to the world around us. Metamour Day is a recognition of the unique and special relationships between metamours.

Order your Metamour Day cards from Bloom Community: profits from postcard sales will be donated to OPEN (Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy), a nonprofit organization dedicated to fostering the polyamory and non-monogamy movement by advancing cultural acceptance, building political power, and supporting non-monogamous communities and leaders.

You can also celebrate Metamour Day on February 28th by sharing our graphics by Anna D. Hirsch in English, Spanish, French, Norwegian, Maltese, German, Italian and Hebrew.

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awellreadman · 3 months

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One of the most valuable tings we learn from open sexual lifestyles is that our programming about love, intimacy, and sex can be rewritten. - Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton

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lizellyn · 1 year

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Penrose triangle...more than just a shape

#PenroseTriangle #polyamory #consensualnonmonogamy #romancenovels

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atxpolycoach · 2 years

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This class is for singles and couples who wish to explore open relationships. We will learn: * What encompasses open relationships or Ethical Non Monogamy. * Establishing and communicating preferences and boundaries * Realistic expectations, Non Violent Communication, and New Relationship Energy * Real Stories and open discussion Q&A *Link In Bio #polyamory #openrelationships #openmarriage #swinginglifestyle #nonmonogamousrelationship #nonmonogamy #consensualnonmonogamy https://www.instagram.com/p/CgXtAK9FHgl/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#polyamory #openrelationships #openmarriage #swinginglifestyle #nonmonogamousrelationship #nonmonogamy #consensualnonmonogamy

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thetorturedarchives · 2 years

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"After years of searching, we finally found our unicorn. We are so happy to welcome Josh into our marriage and we look forward to renewing our vows with our new thrubby next month. #polyamorous #polyamory #consensualnonmonogamy #enm #cnm #throupledating #nonmonogamy #polygamy #openrelationship #loveislove #polylife #polyamorousrelationship #lgbt #bisexual #throuple #lgbtq #lgbtqcommunity #triad #polylove #openrelationships #nonmonogamous #polysexual #polyam #polygyny #pansexual #relationshiptips #relationshipadvice"

#why are all the promo shoots like this #thg #the hunger games #jlaw #liam hemsworth #josh hutchinson #jennifer lawrence #not ship

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surveycircle · 2 years

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Tweeted

Teilnehmer für Online-Studie gesucht! Thema: "Consensual Non-Monogamy im Gesundheitssystem" https://t.co/u0Hp5FvrDa via @SurveyCircle #ConsensualNonmonogamy #polygamie #polyamorie #monogamie #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq #umfrage #surveycircle https://t.co/j3wEFrdmpb

— Daily Research @SurveyCircle (@daily_research) Oct 28, 2022

#IFTTT #Twitter

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polyamorydating · 2 years

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Polyamory comes in many different shapes. If you are considering polyamory, you should do research about distinct types of polyamory to learn more about the different relationship options and to see what type of polyamorous relationship is right for you.

Understanding the difference between multi-partner relationships, hybrid relationships and swinging is important before entering into a polyamorous relationship.

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leeharrington · 2 years

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In the newest update on my Patreon, I share the slides from a presentation/discussion on “Bullying, Abuse, and Harm in Metamour Relationships.” Co-presented with Sam from http://www.NerdSomatics.life it was a deep working for us, and it was such an honor to run it twice for folks who shared from their hearts. Http://www.Patreon.com/PassionAndSoul This is shared in time for Monday which is International Metamour day. So, what is a metamour anyway? This is a term from the consensual non-monogamy (CNM) and polyamory communities that means "the partner of a partner." These thoughts don’t just apply to polyamory though. Consider looking at these with other relationships in your life - “hunting” for the perfect addition to your gaming group, gaslighting in friendship circles, peer pressure in groups of co-workers. I hope folks find this useful. Metamour Day is important, and really wonderful for a lot of us. But, you are not alone if yours are not or have not been. You are not alone. #Polyamory #PolyamorousRelationships #NonMonogamy #ConsensualNonMonogamy #Bullying #Abuse #Multiamory #Polyam #CNM #Metamour #Metamours #Patreon https://www.instagram.com/p/CagVqiDOxuc/?utm_medium=tumblr

#polyamory #polyamorousrelationships #nonmonogamy #consensualnonmonogamy #bullying #abuse #multiamory #polyam #cnm #metamour #metamours #patreon

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solocyclepolyamory · 3 years

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Be Gentle - I Might Not Deserve It

Conflict is uncomfortable; No matter how you slice it, emotional responses are mostly inevitable and it takes practice to come out the other side with transformation rather than hurt feelings. I have been staring at this blank screen for 5 days now and my fingers have finally found their way to the keys. Being an individual who struggles with perfectionism, simply the thought of discussing my shortcomings in conflict resolution was enough to stop me in my tracks. Admitting to one's self upon reflection that you could have done better is very different from putting such admittance into practice in real time, especially when the heat of battle has your head and your mouth in a state disconnect. Lucky for me, there is no shortage of opportunity to practice the art of making space for authenticity and acceptance of other conflict styles when relating to people outside of common relationship structures.

When I originally sat down write this I wanted to talk about Karpman's drama triangle (in case your are unfamiliar, you can find it here: https://agile-od.com/mental-model-dojo/karpmans-drama-triangle). Understanding this concept has been integral to my personal growth trajectory, so much so that I have the triangle tattooed over the spot one might refer to as the throat chakra. Interestingly enough, as I proceeded through the mental gymnastics of taking an end concept and working it upside down and backwards towards my internal experiences, I had a realization that left me stunned and steeping a few days longer than expected. My intent for this article was to explore the concepts around my tendency to operate from the position of 'the victim.' This has often been the end point of my own spiral, and something I have come up against recently in the processes of the people around me. As I pulled up the drama triangle and started to read, I clicked a link that brought me to another article called "Radical Candor." Then something happened. As I read, a connection was made to a behavior that I have recently become aware of through working with my counsellor. I had no idea that this behavior had a name: fundamental attribution error.

(I am going to paraphrase what I learned from this article and do my best to link it to my own experiences, but you can read the full article here: https://agile-od.com/reflective-leadership/radical-candor)

When I look back at many of my relationships, I can pin point where this concept has been the first step in a cascade of reactionary hardening in my emotional demeanor, and has very quickly lead to recoil and refusal to be physically touched. In those moments I have always placed the blame for my recoil on my partner's behavior; I truly believed that if they had not acted in a certain way I would not have felt the need to recoil. After reading that article, I can clearly see that while my partner's behavior was indeed a catalyst, it was not the reason for this emotional response at all. I can also see that the intent I had for this entry, to examine myself through the lens of 'the victim,' is no longer appropriate.

If I consider this chain of events through the scope of the drama triangle, it becomes obvious that this recurrent dissonance is not a byproduct of my habitual self-victimization. Rather, this is a consequence of my incomprehension around my own defensive routines where I gravitate to the position of 'the persecutor.' There is a monumental difference between these two positions, and I was mistaken in my certainty that my conflict style was to move quickly through persecution and rescuer and land firmly in victimization. In reality it appears that I have been making assumptions about my partners' internal experiences, and in my hard-headed responses I have been oppressing them rather than working with them to heal.

This is where this dance begins.

The more my partner experiences what I perceive to be self-pity the thicker my shell becomes, especially if that partner reaches to me for comfort. As my emotional plasticity evaporates, the harder it is for me to access compassion and gentleness. This quickly slides into blame in order to justify that the behavior I am observing is a character flaw rather than a circumstantial reaction. Where I should be extending compassion and space for the other side sort through their own healing processes, my defensive instinct is to assassinate their character and blame them for my emotional upheaval. This autopilot setting is not solely attached to conflict either. This can also be triggered situationally; I have had this pattern arise when partners have been struggling with self-doubt or depression, and I am aware that it even showed its ugly face while a past partner was recovering from surgery and struggling to reach the dishes in the top cupboards. How awful! This is something I can never unsee, and realizing this has come loaded with shame and embarrassment. What a terrible way to treat people.

I could take some time and dive into the childhood reasons why I behave this way, but justification seems trivial when I know that I have done damage to the relationships that have lived this with me. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I am so sorry if I have added to your trauma. I lacked the ability to see my own patterns and certainly the tools to acknowledge and navigate them.

Healing is a lonely process full of looking at the undesirable ways that you have treated people, and yourself. I am astounded that I still have people in my life who care to be around me, and I fully understand the reasons why some people have chosen not to stick around. I am also actively working to extend my past self compassion around my complete absence of self-awareness. It is alarming to realize that I have been actively responsible for many of the fissures in my romantic connections. I own that I have caused harm, and I am working hard to implement accountability for that harm. I am making amends where I can and slowing things down to avoid repetition.

I hate that my past partners have had to make sacrifices for my rigidness. I hope to do better.

I am trying to do better.

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ncsf · 2 months

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Women's Health: “What Does It Mean To Be Monogamish? And How To Know If It’s Right For You, Per Relationship Experts”

🚨📰 NCSF Media Update

“‘Monogamish is a term that describes a relationship where the primary relationship structure is monogamy, but with some allowance for sexual activity outside the relationship under mutually agreed-upon circumstances,’ says sex therapist Shadeen Francis. ‘You can think about it as a monogamous relationship that has more negotiated flexibility.’”

// NCSF Media Updates are a sampling of recent stories printed in US newspapers, magazines, and selected websites containing significant mention of BDSM-leather-fetish, polyamory, or Lifestyle issues and topics.

These stories may be positive, negative, accurate, inaccurate or anywhere in between. NCSF urges everyone to make comments that dispute stereotypes about alternative sexuality. //

#ncsf media update #monogamish #open relationship #nonmonogamy #cnm #enm #consensualnonmonogamy #ethicalnonmonogamy #consensual nonmonogamy #ethical nonmonogamy #consensual non monogamy #ethical non monogamy #consenting adults #ncsf #ncsfreedom

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boredlyricist · 5 years

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Reposted from @polyamoro.us - Useful jealousy (jealousy that is a valid warning sign of a problem in a relationship) is a very different animal from irrational jealousy. Source: https://www.morethantwo.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/practicaljealousy.pdf .⠀⠀ .⠀⠀ .⠀⠀ #polyamory #polygamy #polyamorous #poly #activist #polygamous #lgbt #jealous #feminist #feminism #humanism #polyandry #jealousy #girlfriend #monogamish #polylife #polylove #polyandrous #consensualnonmonogamy #nonmonogamy #theethicalslut #polylife #morethantwo #girlfriend #polytriad #boyfriend #lgbtq #pride #polypride #trio https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw2nni0g601/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=189ut1973noyr

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deserttransman · 5 years

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Oh no, how awful. #polylife #consensualnonmonogamy #polyamory https://www.instagram.com/p/BvWrTtBn7YZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ihkvoka8la85

#polylife #consensualnonmonogamy #polyamory

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surveycircle · 2 years

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Tweeted

Participants needed for online survey! Topic: "Sexual & Relationship Satisfaction in Monogamous and CNM Relationships" https://t.co/BkBKYNcrlH via @SurveyCircle #ConsensualNonmonogamy #EthicalNonmonogamy #relationship #sex #polyamory #survey #surveycircle https://t.co/9ppiOlNEBW

— Daily Research @SurveyCircle (@daily_research) Oct 1, 2022

#IFTTT #Twitter

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sunnymegatron · 2 years

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There's some excellent insight & advice for people in any style of relationship in this episode--even for monogamous folx! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ All relationships are susceptible to hurdles & conflict–resentment, attachment injuries, navigating mental health, unhealthy coping strategies, overcoming societal conditioning, trauma, and more. It’s hard enough between 2 people; in polyamory, we have multiple partners to factor in plus unique issues like jealousy & couple’s privilege. On ep 187 of @AmericanSexPodcast, @opendeeplywithkateloree draws from her years as a polyamorous relationship therapist to talk about strategies for compassionate communication, cultivating self-awareness, breaking unhealthy patterns, and reconciling conflict in consensually non-monogamous relationships. Click on my face to navigate to the link, find it on your fave streaming service or get it here: https://sunnymegatron.com/polyamory-relationship-tips-kate-loree/ #polyamory #consensualnonmonogamy #relationshiphelp #ethicalnonmonogamy #healthyrelationships https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc5tvu0pKFv/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#polyamory #consensualnonmonogamy #relationshiphelp #ethicalnonmonogamy #healthyrelationships

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solocyclepolyamory · 3 years

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Touch me?

I am certain that it was a common experience for many through the pandemic to have struggled with isolation, and that isolation looked a little different for every person. Navigating the health regulations as a solo person was tricky and I found myself terrified to ask others for physical contact. Not only did I not want to contribute to the spread of the virus, but I was also aware of the intense level of judgement radiating throughout our community.

As regulations continued to tighten, I leaned into self-discovery and healing practices, of which fetish was a heavy hitter. I had been lucky enough to be in a bubble with a person whose kinky interests were closely matched to my own, but as the year rolled on our emotional load progressively intensified. Eventually, the sheer weight of it all made the vulnerability needed for cathartic engagement feel like too much, and our practice was placed on an indefinite hold. Even though physical touch was never truly off the table, the loss of that framework left me feeling chaotically adrift. This shift gave way to the awareness of my own gluttonous wants for sensation beyond the everyday pleasures of snuggles and sex, along with the fear that I may be shit out of luck for the foreseeable future.

One of the practices I had fallen in love with was rope play. I have always had a sexual fascination with rope and as such it has been present in my bedroom adventures throughout my adult life. Fetish had taken this avocation one step further and given it structure and direction. It presented me with a new type of exploration that was ripe with the delicate flavors of power exchange, and then taken it away just as suddenly as it had appeared. What it had left me with was the understanding that there was more to physical relating than just pleasure; there was pain here, too.

And pain could feel just as good.

I began to search out new experiences. I was well aware that actually touching people would need to wait until the province allowed such activities but now was the time for groundwork. I remember imagining what the world would feel like after the fear of COVID had passed, and I didn't want to miss a beat. When the world opened up, I would be ready.

In my search for loveliness and future indulgence I came across an individual who seemed to know a thing or two, and I must admit my mind immediately paired them with my want for taction. We decided to make the necessary arrangements to share time in private spaces and get to know one another. The more I got to know him the more challenged I felt. There was potential here, certainly, but also lessons to be learned.

This was someone with clear, healthy boundaries which enforced their fundamental core values and needs. Not only had he deliberately been single for a stretch of time before meeting me, but he was also particular about who touched him and when. I was in awe. I found myself in deep states of listening as he would talk about his life. He told me about all the events which had led him to these understandings about himself and the things he needed to thrive in relationship to others. He requested that, for the time being, I ask permission before touching him, and I happily obliged.

I am a firm believer that boundaries are to be respected and am a frequent flyer when it comes to setting them for myself. There was never a moment with this rad new being where I felt that his boundaries inconvenienced me, nor did I ever think to cross them. However. This was definitely a new approach to forming connection for me, and I did struggle with my own comprehension of what made a romantic relationship successful. I was challenged in my interpretation that touch was something I needed rather than something I wanted and had to actively remove my attachment to the idea that the request for physical space would dissolve in the future at some point. Instead, I was choosing to accept that love could grow within the authentic parameters which allowed him to feel safe with me, especially when that meant we did not touch at all.

Over time I began to see how touching the people I love has always been an assumption woven right into the ways I connect. Being asked to refrain from touching without permission became a point of intense focus for me. As it became more routine, I noticed how often people out in the world would touch me without asking. This was the first time I was experiencing societal entitlement to my body with this level of clarity. For weeks this realization was present for me, like I was waking up and realizing I didn't know I had been asleep.

I can honestly say that the lessons I am still learning through loving this new person have come at a time of upheaval in my gender transition. I recently wrote about my realization that I was experiencing bottom dysphoria and my decision to remove sexual interactions from my life for the time being (I explored this process in the posts titled Standing Still and What Is It, Really?) Had I not been learning about how to love free from physical expectations, making the decision to stop having sex would have likely caused me to spiral into uncertainty, self-doubt, and depression.

Life has a funny way of giving me what I need rather than what I want, and it doesn't seem to care if I hold my breath and stomp my feet about it. When it's time to learn, it's time to learn.

When I met you, I thought I knew some things.

Now that I am learning you, I can see how little I know.

And I couldn't be more excited.

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throuplesdating · 2 months

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It’s awesome to be in a throuple relationship.

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