I will not freak out that there's a house centipede in the apartment.
They eat pesky bugs.
I will not kill it for the crime of being a giant ass fucking centipede. I mean, for the crime of being small.
I will not cry when it's on the wall near where I have to go.
That incident where a centipede fell from the ceiling and into my cleavage was four years ago. I have accepted, recovered, and moved on.
I will not jump at every little shadow I see on the floor.
I am stronger than this centipede so I have a solemn duty not to flex on it by squashing it just because I'm bigger and I can.
I can co-exist with a house centipede.
I can do this.
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Being the token bug guy in the house is so funny sometimes. Today there was a slug on the veranda, so naturally I moved it to a bush so no one would step on it. And everyone was like 😱😱😱😱😖omg!!!🤯🤯💥💥you TOUCHED IT????🤮🤮🤢😭😭😨😨are you ok???🥺🥺😭💔💔💔did it BITE you????😨😢😱😱
Mate, it's a slug
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[ID: an illustration of a bright yellow slug against a purple-ish wood textured background. Surrounding the slug are various leaves, seeds, and lichen. End.]
banana slug banana slug banana slug banana slug banana slug banana slug banana slug !!!
Just a really cool and beautiful little creature.
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Spider Bloom Bag 🕸
Last but not least, from the Halloween collection, this Bloom Bag is perfect for any arachnid lovers out there.
That concludes our 2023 Bloom Bags!
Stay tuned for more posts over the next few days as I finally start playing catchup on event photos from the year. Wish me luck!
Best!
🕷 FOR SALE 🕷
Limited Edition Item. Only one available.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/ArcherInventive
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WELCOME TO PHIO'S EXTREMELY SELF INDULGENT AU HOUR!!!
"Oh, FINALLY, another visitor! It's so quiet in here, it's unnerving..."
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This AU was meant to be posted on halloween but eh.... Happy Thanksgiving? HAHAHHA
still dont have a name for it, but basically, back in october i was suddenly hit with the need to have a halloween au, so now we have ghost-ified prismo and vampire/witch-ified scarab :D ( although didnt finish the scarab reference spread in time because uh, school and i lost motivation unfortunately )
au synopsis and rambling below the cut!!
the premise of this au is simple : scarab is a real estate agent whos known for his manners ( never barges in, always waits to be invited! though it is a little weird how he keeps asking to be let inside even if they already agreed that he was going to come over... ) and efficiency at his job - that is, convincing people to buy high-end housing for a good price. although his social skills need some... work, his ability to persuade people isnt something to be laughed at.
unfortunately for him, persuading the higher-ups is a completely different story - which he learned the hard way after flunking something big for the company. they dont choose to fire him, no. instead, they put him through a trial, assigning him to sell their most unprofitable property : the mansion in a small town locally known for being haunted by an "evil spirit". if scarab manages to sell it (for good profit) within six months, he is excused and is able to go on with his job. if not... well, best not to think about it, yes? after all, he'll succeed with ease - all he has to do is dispel any worries about some fake "ghost" that only exists as a result of filthy rumors. maybe clean up the place. not too hard, right?
meanwhile, stuck inside said mansion is an extremely bored prismo. hes been hangin around this place for like... how many years now? forty? a hundred? meh, all the same, lately the place has been quieter than usual. i mean- of course people dont just walk into a creepy mansion every day, but there would usually be at least a few bold kids or vloggers coming in now and then for him to entertain but even then they wouldn't stay long ( for obvious reasons ). and now, just some unbound spirits or dumb animals would pass by and thats about it. a guy can only entertain himself for so long, yknow?
that is, until today. when some posh-looking business man entered the premises and started snooping around ( whats the deal with that, by the way?? ). must be prismo's lucky day!! this is the perfect chance to pull out all the stops and play the FUNNIEST prank ever! hah!
... oh. looks like things've gotten a little out of hand.
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WOOT WOOT WOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!! im so so happy to finish this because ohhhhh my god this has taken ages for no reason other than the fact that ive been really dragging myself to make presentable art JSNDJSJXNSJX.... i realize that i have never worked in real estate ( or at all ) which means i have probably fucked something up but uhh um ill deal with the backlash later :"D im also realizing how many odd unanswered bits and bobs this au is going to have in the future, which... i am ignoring for the most part for now, but there are SOME things that i DO have figured out like ghost lore... but thats for another time, for now i leave you with this >:)
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