#do i still have a million WIPs? yes. should i be working on the published WIP that has some very lovely people awaiting new chapters? yes.

[spaghett-onaplate]

a celebratory post: i have just experienced the most fruitful writing 24 hours of my entire life. at 3:30am last night, i started a new fic, wrote maybe 3k in the hours before I slept? continued the next evening at 5pm, and since then the document has reached the grand total of... 12.5k words!! :D

#im proud of myself ok <3 #does this mean my writing well will dry up for 5 months after this? maybe. maybe. probably #this fic spawned out of me plucking at my head hairs and being suddenly Struck with inspiration btw. related to the hair yanking #it's surprisingly hard to pull out individual strands of hair when it's short. anyway #we are 3 and a bit chapters in and i'm happy with the pacing too #haven't gone over to edit yet so we'll seeee how that goes #anyway hopefully this sudden motivation carries me through the whole fic. hopefully the whole holidays #do i still have a million WIPs? yes. should i be working on the published WIP that has some very lovely people awaiting new chapters? yes. #is this likely to become yet another unfinished WIP? most definitely! but that's Ok because i am having Fun and that is all that matters #when it hit midnight i was still writing and made sure to add the wordcount to friends words doc #at long last my month-long streak of 0s has been interrupted #yea i also upped my word goal from 7k considering i was at 9k by midnight pdhdf

[longbobmckenzie]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @rebelrayne!

How many works do you have on ao3?

I've got 40 which is still wild to me

What's your total ao3 word count?

970,161 - I'm inching closer to the million word mark (and have the remaining 30k needed in my drafts just waiting to be published)

What fandoms do you write for?

Love Island the Game, and I'm working on my first oneshot for the Romance Club fandom (Song of the Crimson Nile)

Top five fics by kudos:

Whiskey & Scotch (it'll never be surpassed)

it's just a crush

Amelia Can't Win (the S6 effect, I still can't believe this one is top 3 already ahead of a few of my other chaptered fics)

not the only one

Convince Me (the only oneshot in my top 5, the effect of writing a smutty oneshot while season it's about is still ongoing)

Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have a few contenders here but I'm gonna go with anatomy of a heartbreak. it's literally in the title, so you were warned

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

erm, most of them? some of them even end with a happy ending, if you know what I mean 😏

Serious answer though, probably it's just a crush, because not only did it end the misery I put my readers through (it's a slow, slow, slow burn, folks), but I think it's the only one of my fics that ends with a proposal (I think. I've written 40 of them, you can't expect me to remember them all, can you?)

Do you get hate on fics?

Yep, every time @mrsbsmooth reads one of my unfinished drafts and gets mad that it's not finished yet /j

But actually, surprisingly, no. Either I'm not relevant enough for the haters to notice me, or everyone's scared of me.

That or I don't write anything controversial enough to warrant strong opinions 🙃

Do you write smut?

Yes, although I hate myself every time because I suck at metaphors and pretty words and all the stuff that really elevates other writers' smut

Craziest crossover:

When the Dead Come Knocking is LITG x The Walking Dead

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but I'd probably be more flattered than anything (nah probably not, I'd come after you with guns blazing)

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

*sigh* I started a collab on a oneshot before but my cowriter ghosted the fandom. It was a Kassam x Felix undercover spy ETL with Chelsea as a crime boss and it would have been hilarious

All time favourite ship?

I mean, obviously Henrik/me. I mean, Henrik/MC. But if we're talking 2 LITG characters, then Henrik/Lucas is OTP

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Technically this is not applicable - I have every intention of finishing my 3 active WIPs (Whiskey & Wildflowers, Amelia Can't Win, and Luc & Hen's Sexcellent Kinkventure), and I prefer not to start new chaptered fics until I finish other ones (which often means my fics are in the idea stage for literally years before I even start writing them).

That said, I have a few chaptered fic ideas in various stages of production that I'm not sure I'll end up writing. idk if those count as WIPs (one of them is half-outlined and I've jotted down a few paragraphs, but I have to rework it)

What are your writing strengths?

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. I've been told I'm good at pacing, and I've been told I'm good at angst - but what strengths make me good at those things are, I don't really know.

Oh, wait. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation. I rock at those.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue, for one. My biggest struggle in all of my fics (and what I find extremely daunting when starting something new) is dialogue. I never know what my characters should talk about when it's not distinctly plot-related, especially group scenes. Some people are so good at writing fresh dialogue that just breathes so much life into the characters and displays their personality and keeps the reader engaged, and that's something I'd love to do better (both in fics and in real life, tbh - I'm a wallflower)

Secondly, character development. I've literally written over 500k words for one of my OCs, yet I hardly know who she is outside of the villa. I know her struggles and much of her backstory, but I don't know what her hobbies are, what gets her up in the morning, what she likes to eat, what she listens to, etc. I think this also plays a part in my dialogue struggles - it's hard to write characters if I don't know them

Third, and related to number two, is character arcs/relationship arcs. Sure, I can come up with a storyline and write it in such a way that it's enjoyable. But what makes a story extra compelling is the character arcs, watching the characters grow and learn things about themselves and seeing how that meshes with another character and their flaws/strengths and it all comes together like puzzle pieces. I'm not good at that, but I want to be

tl;dr - my biggest weakness is that I'm not Emily Henry

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

My favourite love interests are Swedish and Portuguese 🤣 and yes, I love having them slip into their native tongues every once in awhile, or use terms of endearments, etc. I try to be as accurate as possible and give the readers a glossary (though sometimes I'm lazy with that), but it's also usually just little things that you can kind of tell what they're saying from the context

First fandom you wrote in?

Love Island the Game. Other than RC, it might be my last, too

Favourite fic you've written?

I hate this question 🤣 I have 40 fics and I love them all in their own way. It's like asking someone to pick their favourite child

tagging @eskiix, @lucas-koh, @squirrel-fund, mymindalwaysgoesblankwhentaggingpeople, sojustdoitifyoureinterested

#longbob gets tagged #writer asks

[puppetmaster55]

Fanfic Review

Tagged by @ave-aria

How many works do you have on ao3?

190 fics, and not including the ones that are still on here.

What’s your total ao3 word count?

...oh wow. 1,015,710. I crossed the million words. I knew, because this isn’t including the original fic and the stuff on here, that I crossed a while back, but I didn’t realize I’d done so on ao3.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Oof. That’s... Danny Phantom, Supernatural, Rise of the Guardians, My Hero Academia, Voltron Legendary Defender, Bleach, Naruto, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Fullmetal Alchemist, Gravity Falls, Gundam 00, Mystery Skulls Animated, Scooby-Doo, Pokemon, Skulduggery Pleasant, Bungo Stray Dogs.

So... a lot of fandoms.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Black to Blue- Voltron

Blue to Black- Voltron

Reincarnation Blues- Bleach

Texas Hold-Em- Voltron

Check Out These Scars- Voltron

....I wasn’t expected that last one. Kinda funny that it’s the Lance/Matt rarepair that made it into the top 5 kudos.

Which of your fics do you want more attention for?

Let’s Do The Time Warp. I know that writing for Voltron after the way it ended makes things really rough for anyone to read, but I would love if this got more attention.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I... don’t. I probably should, for some, but I have the tendency to gush about my writing and that can lead to spoiling the story, which isn’t something I want to do.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh god, that’s... either The Ticking Clock or Bad Morning. That they both are Danny Phantom and have the same premise says much about writing for the Phandom.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! The craziest one has to be... Blood Ties. Making Tsuna into a Quincy is the funniest and most chaotic thing and makes me laugh.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Long ago, but way way back on ffn I have.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Oh. Oh yes. Quite a lot, and quite a bit. Mostly m/m, but once m/f.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

So far, I haven’t.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not. I don’t think I’d be very good at it?

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Shance. I might adore KyuuNaru but Shance is the one to hold my heart.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Cure For Wellness. I had this whole entire story more to write, but somehow the muse for this lasted all of the three weeks it took to write out what’s been published and I never got to the rest of it. I’d love to have the muse return to write out the remaining story but I don’t think I ever will.

What are your writing strengths?

Almost everything? Like, I would definitely put down battles, but also I enjoy dialogue and character body language and describing settings.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely internal thought processes. I don’t do well when it’s one character alone and ruminating on their thoughts because it feels so tedious and recap-y, despite working so so well in everything else written ever.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

It’s... I mean, I’ve done it, but I don’t enjoy doing it all that much? Like, yeah it’s natural but feels rough to work around.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naruto. Definitely Naruto. I just can’t remember if that was Lucidity or some unpublished smut I lost years and years ago.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Favorites? In this writer? That’s so– I have to choose? Can’t I just say “all of them” and be done with it? No?

...Bound to You. The arranged marriage shance fic, and it is so soft and intimate and I just... love it. A love story built in a single room, where they can only rely on each other and the things they can do for each other. Love is stored in the little acts of intimacy and domesticity.

What fic are you most proud of?

This one. This one is tough, but... Black to Blue. Writing both realities in alternating chapters is constantly a challenge, especially when they’re both along the same timeline and covering the same events. I have to be so aware of what’s happening and sometimes I can’t help but accept that dialogue would not change and do a copy-paste. I think I’ve managed so far, though, which is incredible and that it all comes together and works blows my mind.

Am I tagging anyone? Oh, I’m tagging @dreamwraith and @sapphireswimming and @lexiepiper and @alexkablob

[sinsbymanka]

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.  

#manka writes #writer tag game thing

[harmony88]

writer’s tag game!

Oh, this is so fun! Thank you @loupettes and @inkwardspots for the tag. ♥️ You two are simply lovely. 

how many works do you have on a03? 82! 

what’s your total a03 word count? 1,001,775..... genuinely had no idea I’d passed a million words until this moment. How is that even possible? 

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Undercover & The Lost Soul are somehow tied for #1?! Ahhhhh! 

2. Interlude Part 1 (oh the unspoken words...) 

3. Oodles and Oodles (a bit of adventure and domestic fluff with Jackie, Pete, Tony, the Doctor, and Rose!)

4. Reunions (hi donna) 

5. Projections Part 1 

do you respond to comments, why or why not? Always, always, always. It might take me a day or two, but comments, quite simply, keep me writing. Knowing that people are reading and liking these stories is just so mind-boggling that when I see someone reacting to what I wrote I just want to write more. SO THANK YOU! 

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Um.... oh man. I’ve been working on a large alternate universe set of series, and there are quite a few that end angstily because they are solving a rather big problem. But... probably Never Let Me Go.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 

The Lost Soul, Projections Part 5, And the Baby, As It Should Be. I can’t pick. 

do you write crossovers? Sort of?? I don’t think they’re crossovers in the traditional sense, but I take fables or myths and adapt them to fit into this Doctor Who universe I’ve made. Can’t explain it really, if you’re interested, check out The Lost Soul, A New Meaning, Curiouser and Curiouser, and As Dreamer’s Do. 

have you ever received hate on a fic? I wouldn’t call it hate, just passive aggressive feedback and always from people who don’t seem to have ao3 accounts. And one of them took it back? So... idk. 

do you write smut? if so, what kind? Yes. Not into overly graphic or super vocal type of stuff, though. I write feeling driven stuff. :) 

have you ever had a fic stolen? No.

have you ever had a fic translated? No but that would be amazing! 

have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but when I wrap up my final series and have the capacity to start something new I would LOVE TO! 

what’s your all-time favourite ship? Um. The Doctor and Rose. Ten and Rose are my bread and butter, but Nine and Rose make me sing. Nine makes some appearances in my stories, I simply couldn’t write their love story without him in some way. Nothing about his appearances are traditional, but still. 

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I had one on Teaspoon and an Open Mind called “Once Upon a Time” or something where the Doctor lands in a dying Kingdom and meets Rose who is the princess, but I kinda took that idea and LOOSELY changed it into Burn Like the Sun which I like a million times better, so I doubt I’ll ever go back to it. 

 what are your writing strengths? I think emotions, action, and banter? lol 

what are your writing weaknesses? Oh, I think there are lot personally. I feel like I’m too wordy, and I can’t for the life of me write a story that sticks to canon even though I really, really, really want to! 

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I wouldn’t even attempt it. I don’t want to mess it up! 

what was the first fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter AGES AGO! Like... ages. I deleted my old fanfiction.net account those stories used to be on, and I switched to Doctor Who but never published anything until November 2020. 

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Oh, that’s hard. I think ‘Til Kingdom Come because it was a behemoth of a story but everything came together and I am quite proud of it. 

I tag @deardiary17 @lizziea2 @melusine0811 and @lastbluetardis (and anyone else who wants to do it!) 

#fanfic #ao3 #ficasks #questions #thank you!

[possessingtheproperspirit]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @thequibblah and @clare-with-no-i! <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

35.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

205,171. Half of that is just The Price We Pay.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On AO3, two - The Mindy Project (Danny and Mindy <3) and HP. Way back before the dawn of time, I had another account on FFN which I posted ER and Without a Trace fics on. That got deleted in a fit of embarrassment sometime in the past ten years.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. The Price We Pay

As the summer before their sixth year comes to an end, Sirius, Remus, Lily and James consider how things may be different on their return to Hogwarts. When Sirius finally breaks free from his toxic home, it should be a fresh start - but unfortunately, it's the start of a spiral that will threaten the foundations of friendship, and change their lives irrevocably. Canon multichap. Rating: T

2. Uninvited

With NEWTs looming, friends gather at the Potters' cottage in Wales to study and let off steam during the Easter holidays of their seventh year. Canon, oneshot. Rating: T

3. Drawn

It's nearly the end of the year, and once again, Lily finds herself drawn in. Maybe now is a good time to stop resisting. Canon, oneshot for Summer of Jily prompt #5: stargazing. Rating: G

4. Quidditch Injuries

Their first time had been gentle, almost peaceful, a delicious waltz in amongst his tangled bed sheets. Afterwards, she’d laid in his arms, and carefully catalogued each emotion, each delicious brush of skin.

This was not at all like that time. Canon, oneshot. Rating: M

5. Expectant

Given her organisational skills, and her Swiss-watch of a uterus, she’s surprised that she’s only just realising this now. Because, as she tracks back in the diary, flicking through the weeks…yep. She’s late.

November 1979 through to July 1980, Lily experiences the highs and lows of pregnancy. Canon, oneshot. Rating: M

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes because comments make my day!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Probably Not Waving But Drowning. That one really poured out of me in a sad little rush, haha.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

A lot of the oneshots are happy (not all of them, though, haha), but I think that Not in a Million Years or Something Good have the happiest, most hopeful endings.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

No - I just about manage the one universe to write in.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not yet! Let's hope that streak continues...

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

In the loosest sense, yes. Expectant and Quidditch Injuries are my examples of smut, so not like, off the charts stuff, but a bit saucy, you might say.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I know of!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I'm not against the idea. I would pity the person having to co-write with me though 😂

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Jily and Wolfstar are neck and neck.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I think it's sweet that you think I have the willpower to start something and take my time with it. I write things in a mad rush and then publish them without giving it too much thought. TPWP is my only WIP, but I feel like that doesn't count because I'm publishing as I go.

What are your writing strengths?

Characterisation, dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I do not plan very far ahead, and am then prone to panic when I realise I have to actually, y'know, take this fic in an actual direction instead of meandering along at a rambling pace.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I am not strong enough in any language, except maybe French, if we were being generous, to do this.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

ER! Carter/Abby, baby. ❤

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I love Not Waving But Drowning and am always a bit sad that hardly anyone has read it. I am also extremely proud of The Price We Pay because I have never maintained a WIP for this many chapters before, and still enjoy writing it (even if chapter 13 felt like pulling teeth for the first three-quarters).

Tagging: @mppmaraudergirl, @theresthesnitch, @emeralddoeadeer, @aeridi0nis

#fic #writing #tagged #jily #wolfstar

[mercurypilgrim]

Fanfic Tags Meme

I was tagged by @chaoticspacelesbians​ (thanks ^_^) I’m bad at tagging people but... @darkshadeless​ , @greyias​ , @randomlytypingmonkey​, @a-muirehen​ and anyone else who wants to do this! :)

1. When did you start writing fanfiction: 

Oh wow, like a million years ago! I think my first fic was written when I was barely in double digits, and it was terrible.

So, probably around 15 years? I had a big break in the middle there where I read but didn’t write, but still. I used to write on ff.net, but moved away some years ago.

2. Of the 19 works I have on AO3 :

10 finished

4 on hiatus (I am so BAD at sticking with things, honestly) (YES For The Sky is on hiatus but only because I suck at chaptered fics and my prompt series suck my time away)

1 abandoned (Fairweather was crap anyway)

10 one shots (If we’re going by 1/1 on Ao3, anyway. If we’re thinking about the spirit rather than the letter of it, we should include Droplets and Cloudbank. That brings us to 65. ... I think I have a oneshot problem)

0 haiku

3 series. (For The Sky is the overarching one within SWTOR, but there will be various subseries within it focusing on various OCs, such as V’lante, Cipher Nine and Nox)

12 are ship fics (heh)

4 are general

0 sibling

1 friend ( Ashara and Nox are besties)

0 misc

3. I have written (I’m going to add ‘and published’ otherwise all my WIPs will destroy everything because numbers don’t go that high):

13 Star Wars: The Old Republic

2 Fallout

2 Detroit: Become Human

1 Deus Ex

1 Vampyr

4. My longest completed/unfinished fic is:

Droplets, coming is at 140,654 words (The whole For The Sky series is weighing in at  315,650 words and counting!)

5. My most popular work (by kudos) is:

Uncanny with 1726 kudos (I have no idea why, it’s bloody awful but it was posted in a booming fandom at just the right time I suppose. It was posted in mid 2018, and I still get a few kudos notifications a week. I’m glad people still enjoy it, but I do wonder how they find it in the depths of the archive)

6. My most common additional tag is:

I just had to check on the My Works page of AO3 and... 

* buries head in hands *

I can’t even write proper smut! Please someone find my where I've used the word ‘cock’ in a smutty fic, because I genuinely don’t think I have managed it yet.

At least it’s tied for first place with ‘Cute’, which is better.

7. My AO3 user name is:

MercuryPilgrim

8. Bonus Facts to get to lucky number 8:

I do most of my writing on my phone.

I abandoned Ven’fir’s playthrough halfway through to play other classes, since I got bored of him. I came back by chance months later and really enjoyed playing him again.

I can draw, but I don’t post any because i’m self-conscious about it and I prefer my writing.

I use music to get myself in the right mood for a particular fic. If i need to be sad or happy or angry, I have playlists for each and it only takes a song before I’ve swapped zones.

I have dropped so much actual money on SWTOR that I’m pretty sure I’ve paid half of Bioware’s salary budget.

I often wake up from a doze with an idea, quickly pen a summary and give it a title before falling asleep again.

I try and give Republic characters americanisms and Imperials britishisms.

Droplets has a ton of hints and references to later chapters and twists. SPOILERS: For example, there are a lot of seemingly innocuous references to a random Chiss in crowd scenes. That Chiss is actually Cipher Nine, who we find out in Chapter 47 of Droplets was not who he said he was, and had been spying on Ven’fir and his crew for a long time. Another one is that Malavai has a half sister that is mentioned, and it’s someone we know.

#tags #fanfic tag meme

[eyesontheskyline]

(about the whole fic writer asks, except those answered now) the story specific ones have to be about 'but if you really hold me tight' - I love all your cxg fics and it's the longest one :D) it's just I'm thinking of getting back to writing and since you're of my favorites authors out there now i'd love to get some insight. kudos for being cool about it!

Hello!  Okay first of all thank you so much, that is a ridiculously big compliment and my face hurts.  And yes yes yes you should definitely write if you feel like writing - just go for it!  If you have any specific questions or you want a pep talk or whatever, message any time :) 

Okay I’m gonna put these under a Read More because wall of text.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?Right now only Crazy Ex Girlfriend.  I wrote for Criminal Minds under a different name then had a gap of several years.  I’m pretty far removed from CM now but I can safely say writing for CXG has been a nicer experience community wise (partly a smaller fandom thing and I suspect partly a demographic thing), and there’s more established character stuff to work with because all the character development isn’t like…  Crammed in the five minutes they have to work with either side of the crime solving.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.I don’t really do either, but reader inserts are kind of a squick of mine honestly, so I’m gonna say OCs.  I’ve only written OC kids though.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?I am not entirely sure what this means…  Fic genre?  Original media genre?  I have only ever written romance or friendship stuff for TV shows, an odd balance of fluff and angst?

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?Mmm let the sun inside has a special place in my heart because it was the thing that got me back into writing after a really long gap and turned out pretty much how I wanted it to.  Writing it was just a very intense ‘I am writing again and my brain is on fire’ experience for me.

7) When is your preferred time to write?I would love to have a less dysfunctional answer to this, but probably between 1 and 4am unfortunately?  That can’t be a thing on work nights because I get up at 6.30.  If I can get myself on a roll early afternoon in a coffee shop though, that’s a better feeling.  Just… Less common than ‘the rest of the world around me is asleep and my brain just woke up’.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?Oh everywhere.  The media I write fic about.  The stories I read.  My life, my friends.  The world.

9) In but if you really hold me tight, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?Oh god I really don’t know.  This story is really hard for me to have perspective on because of the ridiculously time pressured way I wrote and published it.  I’m probably proudest of chapter 12, where they discuss the ‘do we want a baby’ question properly, because that just…  Is an important conversation that you don’t really see in media?  I’m not sure it’s the best writing in the story, but I’m glad I didn’t chicken out of it.  I also enjoyed writing Rebecca meeting Plimpton Senior in chapter 19, because that feels like an opportunity the show missed and I will never see enough versions of it in fic honestly.  (Do you have a favourite?)

10) In but if you really hold me tight, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?That one was pretty much always going to end where it did – just because of the format, it was always going to end in a fluffy happy place around midnight on the 1st of January 2021. The last chapter was going to be longer originally, with more characters getting a moment, but it was just getting kind of unfocused – Rebecca POV can handle tone shifts pretty well I think because of the way her brain is wired, but at some point it all just got a bit messy so I pared it back.  I think I’m pleased with how it turned out, but the chaos of writing it is still fresh enough that it’s hard to tell!

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?Nah, but I’ve fixed typos (thank you @what-the-elle-n!)

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?I find Valencia and Paula pretty difficult.  I love them, but I struggle.

14) How did you come up with the title - You can ask about multiple stories.(Since it says multiple and since I only have 3 currently…)  Everything I’ve published for CXG so far has had song lyric titles – mostly because I am not good at poetic turns of phrase, and I like lyricists who are.  (I’m also not a particularly romantic person, and I like lyricists who are!)

let the sun inside is from Ribcage by elbow.  The full line is ‘I wanted to explode – to pull my ribs apart and let the sun inside’, which feels to me like that feeling of having bottled everything up for so long that you just can’t feel anything anymore until you kind of break down and come out the other side?  And Rebecca = sunshine, so.  That is basically the premise of the story, so that was a stroke of luck.

the landing light is from K2 by elbow (I swear I listen to other music, they just have words that really lend themselves to fanfic titles lol).  I have a whole meta thing written to publish alongside the last chapter about why this song for this story, but basically the line is ‘Dickhead’s done a runner and he’s wondering if anyone cares – is the landing light on?’ which is just someone far from home feeling a bit stupid and homesick and wondering if there’s anybody waiting at home for him.  And of course Nathaniel comes home to a totally miserable situation and there Rebecca is.

but if you really hold me tight…  It had to be a lyric from a Christmas song, preferably one Frank Sinatra sang at some point, because that was the playlist I started listening to in mid-October while outlining this madness.  So it’s from Let It Snow, obviously, although that exact line is not in that version, ssshhhhhh (he sings ‘but if you’ll only hold me tight’).  I chose it because R&N being a team and getting through stuff together in a mostly-fluff-but-not-entirely way was kind of what I was aiming for, and it just felt like it fit.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?I kind of have an OC coming up in a story I’m writing now, and I just… Knew who named them, and tried to choose a name those people would choose.  I don’t really do OCs much in fic, but in not-fic (it’s been a while!) I try to go for a name that (1) means something, and importantly (2) I can imagine their parents having named them.

16) How did you come up with the idea for but if you really hold me tight?So a writer I used to read a lot from the Criminal Minds fandom did a Christmas fic a couple of years in a row – one short, mostly fluffy chapter for each day from the 1st-25th of December.  So that was the plan.  Except as soon as I started outlining it, I knew I couldn’t write an entire month fluffy and problem-free for these two (for anyone, but especially these two), so short and fluffy didn’t stick!

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.“I’ve gotten better at a lot of things since you’ve been away, but my self-deception skills have taken a real hit.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?Yeah, I abandoned a few Criminal Minds fics.  I still feel bad about them actually – I get comments on them occasionally. (On the offchance anyone reading this is someone who feels nervous about commenting on old stories – these delight me in ways you cannot imagine.)  I ran out of steam in a lot of ways – I started them without any real idea where I was going and wrote myself into a corner, mostly, but also I was starting to really struggle to write unprompted.  I am not the most mentally well person, and I just got my brain into this spirally tangle where I thought nobody wanted to read anything they hadn’t asked for, so I filled a lot of prompts but couldn’t convince myself to write anything else.  It feels really weird to think about that now, which I guess is a good sign…

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?I toy with following the emotional arc of S4 but following let the sun inside sometimes – that was the plan, when I originally finished it and was panicking that I would never get another idea.  Also, but if you really hold me tight created a world of warm domesticity for R&N that I felt really sad leaving behind, so I would probably like to write in the timeline again.  And the landing light might get a oneshot sequel, depending on whether I end it the way I think I’m going to or the way I was originally planning to…

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?No, not in this fandom.  I’ve only written two endings though!  I’ve ended on some real cheeseball final lines in the past though.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?@heartbash, who can do plot and slow-burn in a way my impatient ass will never be capable of.  @justwanted2dance who deserves a million flame emojis and writes BDSM stuff in a way that makes my anxious brain comfy enough to enjoy it (literally nobody else has achieved this).  @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace who writes the loveliest fluff and is a badass individual.  @notbang and @anthropologicalhands and @catty-words and @akisazame and @romansuzume who write beautifully and can do those poetic turns of phrase I am not good at.  I’ve got to be forgetting someone but wowww there is so much talent and creativity in this lil room.  So many people to be inspired by.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?God yes, but not in this fandom.  It’s fine, 19 or 20 year old me, you were learning.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?Silence.  Or like white noise or the Hufflepuff Common Room 10 hour ASMR video on youtube or something lol.  Anything with words just ruins me – my attention span is laughable.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?Ha yes actually, but I’m really not entirely sure why.  Sometimes my brain is just a really weird place to be.

26) Which part of but if you really hold me tight was the hardest to write?It depends how you measure hardest, I guess.  Several of the smut scenes just said ‘[insert sex]’ for the longest time, sometimes with descriptions?  So like ‘[insert feelingsy sex]’ or whatever lol.  In terms of getting voices right (like to the point of still being unsure whether it’s any good), this gurl group chapter.  

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?It really depends.  Usually I know roughly where I’m going and how I’m getting there and that’s good enough for me, but my NaNo fic got an outline because of the format and timescale. And I’m planning a thing with an actual plot arc (gasp!) so that’s getting an outline, in the hope of making it look vaguely romance novel shaped.  Basically it depends on the length of the thing for me, and how plotty it is.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?Writing advice: if you’re struggling to move past a particular point, the thing you need to change is probably a few lines back.  It’s rarely the last line that painted you into the corner. If you think something needs to come out, paste it into an outtakes document – you might want to put it somewhere else later, or salvage lines from it or whatever, and it’s just easier to let go if you’re not actually hitting delete.

Posting advice: remember fandom is community – everyone is here because they love the thing you love.  They’re gonna be excited there’s a new story to read, and they’re rooting for you!  (Write the thing!)

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?Nahh I mean, it’s a smaallll fandom.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?Again, smaaalll.  (Also I try not to publicly eye roll at things other people love even if they are my things – there’s nothing quite like loving a song just for the band to be like ‘ugh I fucking hate that song’, so I always try to keep that in mind.)

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)You did not send me a rec!  Feel free to send me one now!  In fact, open call, everyone send me fic recs, even if I’ve definitely read them.

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?Mm no I don’t do OCs.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?I mean, I enjoyed hearing that someone read my story in the corner at a party lol, especially because it was a chapter I was pretty pleased with and nervous about.  Also any time anybody says something I wrote is a headcanon or ‘this should have happened in the show’ is a glittery feeling. When somebody notices a little clue or detail that isn’t obvious, it makes me ridiculously happy.  Humans reading my thing then saying something about it is still crazy, so, yeah.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?Story time: my old fandom has this one character who has a lot of pretty hardcore stans.  I mostly dislike the word stan but like…  Yeah.  So anyway, I got an email saying I had a new comment on my ficlet collection (keeping in mind I was in my ‘very unhealthy relationship with feedback’ stage at this point), and clicked on it all happy, and all it said was ‘I didn’t read this because another comment said it doesn’t contain enough *stanned character* and you really should warn people upfront that he isn’t gonna be in it, I’m glad I didn’t waste my time on it’.  Which was just…  A bizarre comment.  Like, commenting to say you didn’t read the thing is weird in itself, but also you list the characters who are in the thing, not all the ones who aren’t?? Anyway, I then went on my tumblr and I had several anon messages that were just straight up hate along the same lines and…  Yeah.  The Criminal Minds fandom was a strange place. On a related note, have I told you today that I love you, CXG people?  I love you.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?I am basically always up with talking stuff through with people.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?This is actually difficult to do right now.  There’s a baby?

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?I mean, I made myself laugh a couple of times in my festive fic, but I’m more of a ‘this one line is funny’ writer than a ‘this story is funny’ writer.  I’m too angsty!

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.This question is faaar too terrifying.  I’ve actually never collabed with anyone, I’d love to though.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?Third.  I think because I’ve only written for TV shows, no matter how closely you’re following one character, if you’re seeing them on a screen, you’re in third person.  So it’s just an extra struggle to make that jump to another POV for me.  I have written my not-fanfic mostly in first though, and I’ve read some lovely fic in first and second.  I’m just not good at it.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?One person.

41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?Hmmmm who is minor, really?  I find AJ difficult but fun.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?I don’t write anything plotty enough for this to be a thing!

44) What is the last line you wrote?“Mm, because you know how irresistible your weird old timey voices are.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?I want people to read the thing, honestly.  It’s a ‘reach out my lonely haaand’ moment with a little less melodrama.  I want it to be out in the world doing what it’s meant to do.  I also want it to be finished so I can read it – I get a very particular kind of happy feeling from reading a good sentence I wrote.

46) I really loved but if you really hold me tight. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?Lol it felt really weird to type that in there when you didn’t actually say it directly, but you said all so here we are!  I’m just gonna take that compliment even though I wrote it…  When I started coming to the end of writing that story, I started to feel really sad about leaving behind the warm domestic feel of it, so if I ever feel more domestic fluff coming on, probably it’ll be set after that.  

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?You did not insert a made up title!  Although insert a made up title has potential for Rebecca hounding everyone she knows to help her title a song she wrote.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?Is ‘let’s have an actual conversation about this’ a trope because that’s my brand so far!  I haven’t written anything particularly tropey, I don’t think, although the pull of ‘omg there was only one bed’ is strong right now!

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?Yes!  It was a Criminal Minds fic, Hotch/Prentiss, canon compliant (ish) missing scenes kind of deal.  I can’t remember the first CXG fic I read, which is ridiculous because it was a lot more recent.  I started writing CXG fic before I started looking for it, because I hadn’t been inspired to write in so long that I didn’t want to scare myself away.  I read some before publishing, but I can’t remember where I started.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?I can only dream of being mentally stable enough to have a consistent answer to this lol.  Angst comes more naturally to me, but writing angsty characters into happy situations is one of the ways I make sense of the world, so…  Fluff, maybe, as long as I can keep the characters screwed up, because they just…  Are.  And like, same.

#anon #ask meme #aggressively writes fanfiction

[silvereddaye]

This may seem strange to ask, but as a writer, what do you do when you face a writer's block on your story? How do you find the time to write? I've always loved to write, and I was inspired by other fanfic authors (one being you) to begin writing my own fanfic. But life has been a rollercoaster and when I finally think I have time to write, I am always so exhausted or have zero ideas.

(Continuation) And while I have written one chapter down and published, I’m stumped on what to do next despite having an outline for the plot. And I feel bad that I haven’t updated in months when others can easily have multiple chapters done in just a few weeks. I am determined to continue writing and I’ve taken time to improve too from the first chapter that I have done. Is there any writing advice you can give me at all, please? If you can, of course.

Wow. Lots to break down here. 

1. When do I find time to write? I don’t always find time to write. That’s been a problem of mine lately with working two jobs. I work a job in the morning, have a few hours off, and then work a job in the evening. Then I come home and usually head to bed. (Though I often waste time on my phone before going to sleep.) Those hours between my jobs are usually filled with chores or napping. Very rarely will I write during this time. Most of my writing is done on the weekend, which is also filled with chores, being social, and relaxing. So yes, finding time to write can be an issue. It has to be an active choice of mine. Would I rather read or write? Would I rather watch TV/movies or write? I have to decide if I’d rather write over other free-time activities. 

A big thing is that I enjoy writing. I enjoy what I write. It’s something I want to do in my free time. That helps when you’re exhausted and should go to bed early. 

2. You have to love (or at least like) what you’re writing.  Continuing off what I said last time. You have to like what you’re writing. I have always been an imaginative person. As a child, I created imaginary worlds with continuing storylines that then led me to write in colorful little journals starting in middle school. I wrote all through high school, but then college came and I stopped. I had this … this fear of writing. I still had all these stories in my head, but the moment I started to put words down- I hated it. It filled me with dread. I would try to push through it. But it was so hard, and eventually, I gave up. And I was this way for YEARS. 

What changed? Fanfic. I had never gotten into fanfic until much later in my life. I started reading it, and then I decided I could write it too. So I completely understand being inspired by other writers. And all of a sudden I was writing again. I was ENJOYING writing again. 

I am a big supporter of ‘write what you want.’ So what if you have 20 WIPs. Because you have to like what you write. Especially when you’re first starting out. Now that I’ve been doing it a while, I’ve been pushing myself to not give up on my stories and start new ones. It’s hard. Trust me. But ask yourself if you love writing it. You may love the story- think it’s amazing- but find it hard to write. It feels you with dread. You have bad thoughts about it. Try and find something you do like. So what if it’s new. So what if you haven’t updated that story in months. Its fanfic. Sure people are disappointed. But you do this fun. And that is important. 

Writing should be fun.  

And if it isn’t, really think of why you’re doing it. You really want to share a great story? Sometimes we just have to hold on to them for when we are ready to write and enjoy them.

3. Don’t compare or worry and dwell about others. Which is really hard and even I do it from time to time. But the keyword in there is dwell. You can’t dwell on what others are doing. There is always going to be someone better. I am sure almost every fic writer thinks there is someone better than them. At least in some aspects. There are writers who write faster, do dialogue better, angst better, romance better, are able to get that characterization so on point, have a million good ideas, have just one really good idea, are able to do short stories, are able to do long stories, have a wide range, and so on. You can’t dwell on it. Because if you do- then writing stops being fun. You get filled with negative thoughts of “well this writer is able to write so much more than me. I know I can do this as well. WHY CAN’T I WRITE AS MUCH AS THEM?” See how those thoughts can spiral? And make you feel bad? 

4. It’s great you’re determined and want to continue. That is a fantastic start. But also, don’t be afraid to step away from that idea. My first fanfic, The Mantra, I had to step away from. I have officially discontinued it. I have other works I haven’t touched/updated in months and months. It’s ok to take a pause. It’s ok to work on other ideas. The biggest thing I can say is …

Write. 

And enjoy it. 

If you aren’t enjoying. Find something you do like. Because the more you write- the more confidence you’ll get. The better you’ll get. And you can come back to those ideas you struggled with before and suddenly find you’re able to conquer them. You’re only going to get better and more confident by writing, and you’ve got to enjoy what you’re writing to write a lot of it. It can be hard to step away from a story that you love and put your heart into. I would love to come back to The Mantra one day and completely rework it. But I had to move on. 

5. What about writer’s block? Man, ain’t that a bitch. I suffered years of it. I’m currently suffering it right now with several of my fics.  It varies from story to story for me. Some of the stories that I haven’t updated are because I’m too busy. Others are because I’m unsure because I never thought of the plot that far. Ones I do have planned out, I’m stuck with moving them to the next plot point. And one story I’m feeling unconfident about. I got a rather nasty comment on it and has me really rethinking the story. (Not all of it mind you.) And I am struggling with overcoming it. So man, I wish I had a cure-all on how to get over it. I still write. I write little ficlets on here. I’m working on a few other stuff. And they are things I like to write about. Do I feel bad about not updating? Yes. Oh yes. But I can’t dwell. I can’t force myself to write if I’m hating it. I write what I want to. What I enjoy writing. 

I don’t know if this was helpful or not. But you’re not alone. So many writers face this same problem. I have. I currently do. And the best thing I feel like I can do is to keep writing. 

#ask silver #advice #kaitodetective1412

[hydrospanners]

How about multiples of 5 :D Please and thank you

thank you for asking i cry

(psa before you read this iam absolutely drunk and yes it’s 3pm but i get up at 2:30am so it’s really not that early for me)

5. what is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?I’ve been working on this one novel since I was 14 years old. It’s changed and warped and been rewritten so much over the years that what I have of it today and what I scribbled in the margins of my notes in high school are barely even recognizable as the same thing but they have the same... core...??? i guess??????? the same central themes or something just vastly different, more nuanced and (i hope) more intelligent ways of appraoching them. ive gotten better at telling the stories i want to read since i was 14 but this one is deeply important to me and for that reason my bad habit of perfectionism has been rearing its head. ive rewritten the first ten chapters like 80000 times but rarely make it past that. the reasons why are for my therapist to know and me to find out i guess.

10.do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?i try very frequently to have a consistent schedule. for a while back in 2018 i was succeeding. and then this year i had this particular project i really wanted to finish and i sat down and made timesheets and scheudled out my time like it was a second job and id give it 10 hrs/week so i’d still have time to care for my needs and relax and whatever but...... this year has been a bitch for me fam. ive made a lot of vague posts but........ it’s been a bitch and i havent written a lot. maybe i should. maybe it would help. i don’t know but i do everything better when it’s with a consistent schedule. regularity and schedules are very supportive for the way my brain works but organizing priorities with the limited free time i have is a cahllenge. lining up my emotional/creative energy with my physical energy is a challenge. an ongoing one. sometimes i succeed. a lot of the time i dont.

15. in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?absolutely. even if it wasn’t great, even if it missed the point entirely, even if it served the values the whole story is meant to criticize.... of course. i am a vain creature and also i know how humans can take an imperfect piece of media and find so many things in it that i have never seen myself. i’m curious to know what other people would discover in the playground i have built. hypothetically.

20. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? tell us. please, tell us. I, the OP of this ask list, desperately need advice on how to focus.all the fucking time. im a slave to my moods and i always want to write pieces that deal with the feelings or the concepts that are holding me hostage at the time. sometimes im exhausted and so full of emotion that exploring any single feeling opens the floodgates to every feeling ive ever had and that feels to risky so i avoid writing altogether. usually when this happens, i write letters to people in my life that i never mean to send. it’s like an emotional valve that lets out the worst of it and leaves enough feeling for me to work with without it being too overwhelming to confront. i also have 10 million wips and i just switch focus to the one that vibes with my current mood, but that’s why i have 10 million wips and why it takes me 5 years to finish a 500 word fic. i don’t know that it’s a good strategy but it’s the one i have.

25. hey - what are you working on right now?  to be painfully honest the answer is nothing. i havent written a word in three weeks. i was working on a very absurd swtor fanfic that was kind of a pressure valve for me but then i was seized by this concept for a choose your own adventure game that i have elaborately written inside my own mind but have not put a single word to paper due to life circumstances (which is to say ive been pretty depressed for a few months and coming back out of the depression my focus has mainly been on supporting the habits and structures i need to succeed at work and i’ll figure everything else out later). anyway im pretty excited about my choose your own adventure game its good fun in my head.

#i am too drunk to remember my tags #ask memes #maybe??? #ferociousqueak

[nopickls]

Author meme! 

Tagged by @zevons :****

Author name: redandgold (AO3)

Fandoms you write for: I think it’s been almost entirely football at this point although I have written for the occasional other fandom, especially in the early days; am, like everyone, guilty of some HP dabbling, and have also done DPS / CDC. I have like a million WIPs for the Terror, and a BBC Ghosts / RoL crossover which I really should finish at some point in time. 

Where you post: AO3, pretty much! 

Most popular one-shot: By hits it’s strangeways, here we come which! Thank u! I honestly enjoyed writin this ESPECIALLY since it gave me the opportunity to wank over England’s propensity for being shit at everything (Narrative wise is beautiful but I wish they would stop)

Most popular multi-chaptered story: hahahhahahaha what does it say when all my multi-chapters are because I ran out of space in the footnotes for references 

(I am v bad at writing multi-chaptered things... I feel like I prefer one-shots - it’s tighter somehow? more fun?) 

Favourite story you wrote: oofa doofa i’ve been reading my writing recently for a kick because I haven’t done anything in so long and it feels like im LOSIN it bc i used to write like...good shit... anyway I digress: I honestly like most things I write but have here you are with your faith because I love...the apocalypse.. I love killing off David Beckham. 10/10 would recommend

Obligatory shoutout to if it seems like i’ve been lost, so good it got ripped off 

Story you were nervous to post: ahaahha basically every fwic i write out of my comfort zone be it germ fic for @bayernluvr69 or iker fic for @strikerbacks because i NEVER KNOW if i am doing them justice and also like every xabifips fic in the WORLD but esp summer sang in me a little while because it was like a truly Deep Dive and one i am still unsure if I have surfaced from

How do you choose your titles: remember how the entirety of 2018 i used only billy joel song lyrics? Don’t Ask Me Why

Do you outline: usually! I write by breaking stories up into pieces and leaving a quick line of summary for each piece, and then from there it just spirals into mass disorganisation (I don’t necessarily write the pieces in order) - but I do tend to have the ending in mind already because that’s the most important thing to me (and probably something that comes through in my writing). I dooon’t like writing without outlining because it makes me feel like I’m not in control (as if having an outline does! ha! lies!) and anyway, a lot of my stuff needs to be tightly plotted otherwise it just. devolves into very Little (i.e. a hot mess).Even in terms of character studies, which I adore but don’t usually have strong plot points, I’d plot out what I want to say about this character and then see how I can weave that into a story.

Complete: Literally never published an incomplete work in my life, i feel like it goes against my asian school work ethic

In-progress/ Coming soon/not yet started: (combining these two since i have no in-progress fics up): oh jesus a LOT. Starting with the terror since I have the most for that: 

- hartnell/tozer shut up shut up shut UP - fitzier and the after effects of scurveh (don’t try this at home lads) - blade runner tozer it’s perfect fight me - blanky/hartnell Her au - fitzier groundhog even though people have done this PERFECTLY already - fitzier ghosts????? idk what to do with this yet - an over-elaborate space au - soooome pacrim i am sure that’ll crop up eventually - and I’m sure I’m missing something but I can’t remember what (i tried this at home lads) - OH was it terrebus, yes probably that

fooball wise: 

- beville wwi - wow is that literally it??? alarming

and a completely random, extremely niche the captain / nightingale ghosts/RoL crossover 

Do you accept prompts: always!! I used to do so many more prompts than I do now and I kind of miss it tbh 

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: idk i just desperately need to finish at least one terror fic!!!!!!1 otherwise it makes me feel like a FRAUD i’m going to say fitzier x scurvy since that’s the one i’m closest to finishing (it’s actually space i’m most excited for though. i love space. haven’t got a clue how to write it but. love this game)

#fic stuff #ooo wee doooo

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

2018 Fic Year in Review

@perpetuallyvex kindly tagged me in this. Thank you, Vex. I love and miss you and can’t wait to see you in a couple of months xoxo

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3:

I can’t believe it, but in 2018 I posted 13 stories to AO3. It’s the most I’ve ever written and why I am so grateful to have discovered CMBYN. It inspired me to rediscover my love of writing and for that I will always be grateful.

2. Word count posted for the year: 

Looking up this number blew my mind because I had no idea it was that much, but I apparently have posted 187,055 words in 2018- what??? That is the most I’ve ever posted, even during my Sherlock fic writing years.

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

the feeling still deep down This was the first fic I wrote back in January 2018. Timmy/Armie RPF. It was prompted by discussions in a group chat and became the first installment in my Futile Devices series which is my take on bts vignettes between Timmy’s birthday in 2017 and PSIFF 2018.

eyes like sky Continuation of the feeling still deep down, from Armie’s pov

Buttons an angsty porny one-off about that sweater. You know the one.

save a prayer It was a prompt I couldn’t resist. Rentboy!Timmy and Armie the actor. But it turned out to be so much more than I bargained for. Still a WIP but will be completed because I owe it to these characters for everything they have given me.

Between the Lines co-written with @694699 this fic took on a life of its own. Following the manic success of CMBYN, the boys’ careers are at an all time high.Timmy’s in London, filming The King. Armie’s in New York for his run in Straight White Men. Their friendship as strong as it ever was, they are still being lauded for their work in Italy, directors are fighting over themselves to work with them, they should be on top of the world.So why aren’t they?A peek into their world via all forms of communication.

white ferrari part 3 in the Futile Devices series. Timmy returns to New York but is in a really bad place. Armie continues to struggle.

la muvi star  A slice of life, bit of bts from my fic Save a Prayer.

delicate  It's 'technically' a college AU. Armie is the star quarterback, Timmy the kicker. But none of that is really important or even needed to know in order to read this. It was just an excuse to write these two getting it on. Finally. And, Armie is only a couple of years older than Timmy.

once bitten  A coffeeshop AU of sorts.

pink+white part 4 in the Futile Devices series

special delivery an excuse to write some porn with a twist?

flicker  This time last year, there would have been someone keeping an eye on it for him, taking the glass from his hand, waving off the waiter with a firm blue stare to keep him from overindulging. This year was… different. He was a real boy now. Grown up and on his own. It was fun, just not the same. My first foray into Stylamet territory (Timothée Chalamet and Harry Styles)

collaboration Inspired by Tim and Harry’s interview in i-D Vice mag. 

4. Fandoms I wrote for: 

I guess CMBYN is ‘technically’ the fandom, and Harry Styles fandom?

5. Pairings: 

Timmy/Armie and Timmy/Harry

6. Story with the most hits: 

Between the Lines with an astonishing 34.864 hits!

7. Story with the most kudos: 

I am so proud to say that save a prayer received the most with a staggering 1347 kudos!

8. Story with the most comments: 

Between the Lines has 2693 comments, but 6 and I both tried to respond to everything in the beginning, so the numbers may be skewed a bit due to that.

save a prayer received 1665 comments which I think is nothing to sneeze at for a solo act. 

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I am definitely most proud of save a prayer. I started that fic with the idea to make it a sexy, cute romp but somewhere along the way, those boys decided they really had some issues to work out. It’s not been an easy ride, but it’s helped me in ways I never saw coming. It was the first Timmy/Armie AU in this fandom, and I’ll always be proud of that.

I’m also really proud of the Futile Devices series. There’s something very pure and ‘true’ about this series. 

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

It’s not that I’m not proud of them all, but I know there are some that could definitely be better, given more time, but I’ll leave that up to readers to decide.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

“Really? Then tell me, Armie Hammer , these real friends, how many of them know you can’t sleep at night? How many of them know you are scared fucking shitless about this film coming out?” Timmy steps up close, lifting his chin, close enough they are nearly chest to chest. Armie holds his breath. “How many of them know you want to fuck a rentboy while you have him tied up and defenseless? No wonder you’re divorced. Does your ex know what a fucking pervert you are?”

Armie shoves him before he knows what he’s done and Timmy stumbles back, somehow managing to stay upright, his face a study in shock.

Armie is shaking, fighting the urge to hit something. He’s so much bigger, stronger, than Timmy; knows it would take nothing to really hurt him. He doesn’t want Timmy to become his target— a victim in yet another instance of his life— so Armie moves away, shoving his hands in the pockets of his track pants.

He has no idea what to say. There is no response, not an honest one. Everything Timmy  said, he knows is somehow the truth. No one knows him. Not really. And he hates it. Armie never meant for it to be this way, unclear exactly how it had— isolated and lonely.

“You’re right. No one knows. I don’t even know how you know.”

Floor to ceiling windows flank the fireplace of Armie’s living room. He makes his way over to stand, looking past his own shallow reflection to the ocean beyond, black and endless.

Armie isn’t sure how long he’s stood there and knows he probably could have stood there forever if Timmy hadn’t spoken up.

“Sorry,” his voice barely loud enough to hear from where Armie stands.

Armie shrugs and looks at Timmy’s reflection behind him in the glass. Their eyes meet before Armie lifts his hand, pressing it against the cool, smooth surface— the only safe way he knows how to touch Timmy.

12. Share or describe a favorite review you received: 

Man, they’re all like my children, I can’t pick just one. I do have to say that I’ve never before experienced the kind of feedback and heartfelt messages that I’ve garnered from a lot of my fic. To have people tell me that I’ve inspired them? That they re-read my fics. It’s what every writer dreams of hearing.

13. A time when writing was really, really hard: 

The last half of 2018 was hard for me. Health issues, personal issues, fandom issues. It was a tsunami of funk that left me reeling and without the desire to get words on the page. I waffled on the daily on whether to delete everything entirely, whether it was worth the trouble to try and post anything for this fandom anymore. I think I’ve started to turn a page and have listened to friends and supporters, starting now to remember and understand I have to write for myself first. It’s all for the love of whatever I decide to write. That’s what matters most.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

Timmy in save a prayer surprised me most. He’s helped me in ways I never imagined.

15. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

This is a hard question. I think I’ve learned the value in less is more. Streamlining words for maximum impact. Realising I value substance over flash. I need a story and not just sexy times or that sex isn’t the most integral part of a really well told story. I think, moreso in this fandom than any other I’ve ever been in, that that’s become the case and it’s just not something I’m interested in.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

I definitely plan on finishing things in 2019. Working on original fic and branching out into other fandoms, maybe. I want to get back to writing for the love of a story. That is a feeling like no other and I miss it.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

Hands down that would have to be @iknowthebattle. Her unwavering support and guidance and friendship has seen me through some really hard times. But her writing inspires me beyond anything else and I strive with every word I put down to somehow try to live up to her standards. (I never will because, jesus, she’s the real deal) 

And of course, I have to steal Vex’s answer here too and say, the READERS. Every last one of you that have messaged me with love and heartfelt support, to keep going, the comments and all the lovely praise, it doesn’t go unread or unnoticed and definitely makes me want to keep writing. Thank you all so very much. <3

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: 

Surprisingly, yes. And I didn’t see it coming when I started it, but save a prayer and Timmy’s struggle became my own as I worked through issues I thought I’d long put behind me.

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: 

Cheesy as it sounds- just do it. Who cares if it’s been done before, if it’s a trope we’ve seen a million times? No one has done it the way you will do it. It is true, the more you write, the better you get. Just keep at it. Let life inspire you. Fill the world with your words and love.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

I have a couple of ideas and half-formed fics in my drafts that I hope will see the light of day this year. I know I want to finish save a prayer and try to publish it at some point as original fic. But there’s not rush. I’m not sure where I go from here. Timmy/Armie RPF may not be something I write anymore once these fics are finished, so the world is mine for the picking I guess.

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

I’ll tag a couple of fandom writers that really inspire me- @iknowthebattle @etal-later @dreamofhorses42 @cumpeachx

And, @cristinasea, I know you don’t write, but you are such a prolific reader and just the bestest pal, we need to come up with one of these for readers, to get your perspective. Maybe we can chat about it ;)

Thanks again, @perpetuallyvex for the tag. This turned out like a walk down memory lane. <3

#2018 fic year in review

[chloehl10]

I was tagged by the lovely @pocketsunshineharry​, thank you so much, love!

All answers should be about works published in 2018. (Skip any questions you don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can answer them if they want.)

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3:  29. Oops. Lol

2. Word count posted for the year:  

1,725,628. That’s 1.7 million words. I have no excuse.

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

A Lot Of Fight Left In Me You Bring Me Home Wonder How I Ever Made It Through Don’t You Remember? I Got Me An Appetite Tell Me That You Want Me Tonight Piece by Piece Hallelujah You’re Home Lucky Ones To Carry Love (I Can Show You How To) Slow Dance I Will Answer All Your Wishes You’ve Got This Spell On Me Look How Far We’ve Come My Baby Baby, Honey It’s Coming Home You’re My Only Hope Right Here Waiting Remedy I Knew You Were Waiting For Me With The Strength To Carry On Baby We Could Be Enough Lost Without You We’ve Already Won Feels Like Christmas  Let Me Be Your Star Made From Love Fairytale of New York You Were Made To Be Mine (wip)

4. Fandoms I wrote for:

One Direction 5. Pairings:

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson 6. Story with the most

Kudos: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 2,125 / Let Me Be Your Star (complete) -  1,177 Bookmarks:  You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 532 / Lucky Ones (complete) - 403 Comments: You Were Made To Be Mine (wip) - 3,111 / Let Me Be Your Star (complete) - 1,212

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

There’s two. You Were Made To Be Mine because I love it, and I think I’ve really created a world for these two characters, and Jacob is just one of my favourite characters I’ve ever written. Also Let Me Be Your Star. This was written on a whim after something on Twitter, and it’s just been so well received. I was proud of how accurately I wrote Louis, even before we saw on him on X Factor, and I’m just really proud of how it all went.

Oh and I have to mention my first long fic A Lot of Fight Left In Me. My heart and soul went into that story, and I love it so much. And Piece by Piece, this fic will always be so special to me.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

I don’t want to say. I do have one, and in a way, I am tempted to orphan it. But hey.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

This was hard. I’m going for this from YWMTBM chapter 56. “Lou….” Harry shuffled their bodies until his own legs were out in front of him, Louis’ body against his, silence broken by only Louis’ sobs, and Harry’s breaths. “Louis… you know it’s okay to not be okay, right? It’s not a weakness, sweetheart… you’re just, you’re just human.. Don’t ever be ashamed of hurting because I want to be the one you turn to… not the one you run away from, yeah? I want to share your burdens, wipe away your tears… hold you when you cry. Because I love you, Louis… so much, you have no idea how much.”

“Harry, I-”

“No, it’s my turn. Listen to me, please?” Louis nodded, more tears falling as Harry started to speak. He didn’t know if there was anything Harry could say to change his mind about this. No pretty words to fix it.

“You need to trust that I’m not going to run away when things get a little bit tough. Because I’m not, not now, not ever. You’ve been pushing me away, Louis, so fucking hard, and it hurt so bad because you wouldn’t let me in when all I wanted to do was help. I just want to be there for you-”

“But you nearly weren’t-” Louis whispered, the words falling from his lips. “You nearly left me, Harry… I… you nearly died, and you nearly left me. I had to listen to a doctor tell me that they didn't know if you were ever gonna wake up. I was nearly alone again, like before. I’ve never been so scared, Harry. I can’t bear the thought of you being taken away from me. I don’t want you to leave. It’s been easier to push you away, knowing that you would leave by your own free will, than losing you any other way.”

“I didn't want to leave… you have to know I never would have wanted that, Lou...” Harry was crying again now, reliving those awful memories, things he’d pushed deep down long ago, realising with horror that Louis had never moved on, had never really talked about how he felt when Harry had had his accident… how he’d nearly lost his husband. “But I’m here now, yeah? I don’t want to leave you, Louis. I want to grow old with you, and hold your hand every single day. I want to wake up to your beautiful blue eyes, and I want to share your pain, and your hurt. I want you to trust me, to let me do that for you.”

“You were there for me when I had my accident. You were my rock. You kept me going when I wanted to give up. When the physio was too much, I just wanted to give in, but you made me strong, Louis. You encouraged me… you believed in me. But now it’s my turn. It’s my turn to support you, to believe in you, like I promised when I married you. Please let me be there for you-” Harry’s voice cracked on the last word, meeting Louis’ eyes.

All Louis could see was honesty and love. There was a sincerity in Harry’s words that he just believed, and finally, he reached down, watching as his smaller hand sat on Harry’s, their fingers mingling gently, cautiously, as if they were afraid to touch. Louis bent his fingers, letting Harry clasp his hand in return. What seemed like such a small step seemed enormous to Louis, but he knew Harry was the only person he would ever want to be vulnerable with.

Despite everything… despite how hard Louis had tried to push him away, Harry wasn’t going anywhere. Harry loved him, and he loved Harry, more than he could ever say. He looked back into the eyes of his husband, the one who loved him in spite of his faults, who loved him because of them. Harry didn't see a broken man who he needed to fix. He just saw his Louis. Louis’ bottom lip wobbled as he stared deep into Harry’s eyes, as if he were looking into his soul, seeing the other half of himself.

12. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Some of the comments I get make me want to cry, honestly. I’m not sure people know how much leaving a comment on AO3 means to authors. I’d be hard pressed to find just one, but anything where people can relate to my writing in their real life is always very touching. Here’s one that moved me deeply recently from my christmas fic Feels Like Christmas:

“Im not gonna lie, I had to take breaks reading this because it was SO SAD in parts, in between being so beautiful.Harry was just like an angel of Christmas in this and your Louis seemed, to me, to be VERY realistic. I can't imagine how losing Jay has affected him in general but especially on his birthday and at Christmas. She was such a beautiful mum and it still breaks my heart to read of her. The cemetery scene was perfection but heart-breakingly sad.I loved Harry delivering treats to the "neighbour" who turned out to be Louis. I wish I had a Harry :)Your writing was so sensory - which is something considering I'm Australian and rarely seen snow lol But the smells, sights etc of Christmas were just amazing.Terrific job, loved it :)“

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I went through a period of getting negative comments on YWMTBM and that was very hard to push through and tell the story I wanted to tell. But I did, and I am proud I did, because I write for me and that’s the most important thing. I have a story to finish, and I’m determined to. I also found the scenes in the middle of YWMTBM very hard and emotional, and I got caught up in Louis’ mindset for a while, which was very tough.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: I wrote a section of YWMTBM where Louis was struggling a lot with his mental health, and I surprised myself by delving into a subject like that. It was quite different for me, but I hope I did it justice, and that people could understand Louis’ actions. Also I wrote an mpreg birth scene which I never expected to do lol.

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I feel my writing as a whole got better, I got more confident, and I was more able to craft stories.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

To not take on so much lol, although I love writing so much.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I’ve worked so much with @thecompasspointstohome​, one of my closest friends and she’s so much of an inspiration to me, no matter how much she ignores that I tell her that. She’s amazing, and my work would be a mess without her. I am forever grateful to have her.

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes, a bit of a sad one. A child in my class in battling leukaemia at the moment, and he was the inspiration behind Mia and her story in A Lot Of Fight Left In Me. He still has his down days, but he’s an amazingly strong child and I hope he has the ending that Mia, Olly, Louis and Harry have in that story. 

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for you. That’s the most important thing I’ve found.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

My BDSM fic, and my Harry Potter exchange fic. I also have my fic for the Fanworks for Charity to write, as well as updating YWMTBM. I also have a few other stories in the works so wait and see :) Oh, and my tearjerker fic which I’ve been teasing forever on Twitter, oops...

21. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

Anyone who wants to do it, please do so!

#my fic in 2018 #my 2018 on ao3 #larry fic #lovelarry10

[the960writers]

Cringe Tag

@halfbloodlycan tagged me for this, thank you!

Rules

i. post a quote or short excerpt from your early days of writing (i’m talking old fanfics, slash fics, original fics, etc., that are barely edited and have a ton of technical errors and misspelled words). this is the cringe part. don’t edit anything! let it be horrendous. don’t panic.

ii. post a quote or short excerpt from your most recent works/WIPs. something that you’re proud of. something that you’ve written that makes you smile when you read it.

iii. tag a writer you admire, anyone who you think is amazing, new friends, followers, writeblrs, anyone you’d like to know more about. if you think someone is a great writer and you want to see how they’ve developed their skills, tag them! everyone started somewhere.

I’m tagging @thatwriternamedvolk, @tsfennec, @hklunethewriter, @bymeganwithmeraki and @jfictitional

Ok, ahem, I have a confession to make... I’m actually a baby writer, I haven’t been at this very long. 

My oldest fiction writing (apart from the horse stories I typed up on a mechanical typewriter 30 years ago, those are... I don’t know where) is also my first thing, first fanfiction I have written and it’s from November 2012. That’s not that long ago. I mean, aren’t you supposed to write a million words for at least ten years to call yourself a writer? I don’t know, I never cared for rules.

But the thing is, I don’t cringe about that old fanfic. I know it’s rough and the prose is clumsy and the grammar has german influences, but still. I’m proud of what I did, that I dared to write that first smutty chapter and publish it just like that. I didn’t know anybody, I didn’t know if anybody would read it and I didn’t worry if it was good enough. I had read thousands of fanfics before and I approached my own with the conviction “I can do that too.” (I wish I could have bottled up that confidence for later days...). And it’s not even finished yet! I’m still writing it, 294260 words later.

So here it is, a non-smutty section of my first writing (Mass Effect fanfiction, shakarian):

"Yes, good. Keep going." Dr. Chakwas stepped over to him and scanned Shepard with her omni-tool. "I know this is awkward, Vakarian. I wasn't joking when I suggested that you sing to her. Turian singing uses subharmonics as a second harmonic voice and it looks like those have an effect on her."

Garrus wondered how this human doctor knew so much about turians. 

She turned to him and smiled. "I'm the leading medical expert on turians in the Alliance. I'm fairly certain that Spectre Kryik owes his survival to my knowledge and abilities."

Garrus acknowledged her explanation with a nod, he was quite impressed. While asari doctors were known for their interspecies studies, he had never heard of a human doctor being an expert in a non-human species.

Of course, singing on cue was just as hard as speaking on cue and it took him a little while until his brain came up with the melody of a recent hit song from an asari-turian pop band. He was botching it at first, but he slowly got the sub-harmonies settled and added the rather stupid lyrics with his main vocals. Garrus had never been in a singing class but he'd been complimented on his singing voice before. He actually managed to do quite well on this song.

Dr. Chakwas smiled at him, encouraging him onward while she continued scanning over Shepard's body. For long, agonizing minutes nothing changed. Garrus started the song over, more confidence in his voice this time and laying more power in his subharmonics.

The hand, that he held in his, twitched. He noticed it before he even heard the sharp intake of breath from Dr. Chakwas. She frantically typed something on her omni-tool, while she nodded to Garrus to continue.

Another twitch, a flicker from Jane's eyelids. Her hand suddenly grabbed his with all her strength. It was almost painful. Garrus steeled himself for another attack of nightmarish screaming spasms like they had experienced the few times before when Dr. Chakwas had tried to wake her.

Garrus kept singing the stupid song, the words meaningless, his subvocal hum carrying the tune. It was different his time. She did not spasm, she did not heave in air to scream it out again as loud as she could. Her eyelids fluttered and her breath was calm. She still held his hand, her grip strong but not painful anymore. Garrus let himself hope that finally, this time, she would really wake up.

When her eyes opened and locked onto his, he was relieved to see them as normal as they had always been. The few times before, when she had opened her eyes, a greenish light had shimmered in them and she had not seen anybody. This time, her eyes had the familiar greyish-blue tint that he knew.

She looked at him and the song got stuck in his throat. She tried to speak but her throat seemed to be sore, no wonder after all the screaming she had done before. She began coughing and Dr. Chakwas helped her to sit up. Her hand never left his.

Finally, her throat was clear and her voice was only slightly raspy when she spoke to him: "Hey, my Angel. You're here!"

Garrus's subharmonics trilled out whole songs of his happiness. "Yes, I'm here Sunshine, Spirits, I'm so glad you came back." He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers.

"I heard your voice, I heard you sing," she whispered, "was that an old song that your mother sang to you when you were young?"

"Spirits, I wish I had thought of that," Garrus chuckled, his forehead still on hers. He had no intention of changing his position soon. "It's just a current pop song from an asari-turian band. They sing about how they can't share food and how unfair that is."

Shepard burst out laughing and behind him he heard Dr. Chakwas quietly snicker to herself. "Well, it was the most beautiful song I have ever heard," Shepard said, still laughing. "You should sing more often."

"I'll do anything, Jane, anything for you," Garrus blurted out before he could stop himself. He wanted to pull away but she did not let him. Her hand had creeped up to the back of his head and she was holding his head with her hand under his fringe. Her soft lips met his mouth plates and he felt himself fall into the world of only her and her kiss.

A soft cough from the doctor made them break apart. "If I could get access to my patient now, I need to run some more tests on her. I'm glad that you are back with us, Shepard, but I have to make sure that it stays that way."

#writer tag game #cringe tag #my old fanfic #i'm still working on this! #I forgot about part 2!!

[miriannemiri]

10 Questions Game

Tagged by @radioactivepeasant

1. How many projects/stories have you written/told?

Ah.  Well.  I don’t actually know?  I’ve gone through a couple of incarnations of online presence in a couple of fandoms, though I’ve been Miri for a decade (yes, I’ve been in fandoms for more than fifteen years), but my main focus has always been on original stories.  Of those, I’ve had one on the radio and one published.  And I have no idea how many projects sitting around in various stages on my hard drive.  I can say I have more than two million words total, and that count is. . .out of date shall we say.

2. Do you ever have multiple WIPs at once?

Pretty much constantly.  All the random little projects I post are while I’m still working on Dreamwalker (which is still ongoing, still eating my brain, and nowhere near ready to post, WHY?).  I’ve missed maybe four days of working on it since I started it in January, and I write at least 500 words a day on it.  Any other project I work on is after I write that 500.  I’ve also got several original projects that I’m semi-working on at any given time, though as mentioned, Dreamwalker is eating up a lot of my creative processes.  As is teaching, as I’ve got the equivalent of an extra class this term.  Several fairy tale or fairy tale influenced stories, naturally.  The first world I ever created gets looked over periodically and tinkered with.  I’ve got a novel in late stages of revision I’m supposed to be working on, but the revision is at a sticky point.  I really just need to declare I’m spending an hour on it every weekend and get it done.  It’s that close!

3.  What’s the first chapter book you remember reading?

Ooh, difficult question.  My parents read to me a lot as a child, and there’s a fair amount of overlap between that and what I started reading on my own.  Probably Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede.  I love how she plays with classic fairy tale themes.  And Cimorene is such a fabulous heroine.  Narnia was also very early.  My first brush with Y.A. lit was in third grade with Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness quartet, and I still love her books.  I started her when my parents said I was still a little too young for most of Robin McKinley, who is my favorite author ever.

4. Do you listen to music while writing? If so, do you ever have specific playlists for specific projects?

Mm.  Actually, I need something going on in the background to focus on my writing.  Music works (though it tends to be whatever I’m listening to at the time, rather than themed playlists).  So does setting my students to a writing exercise and waiting for them to finish, though.  (When I was a student, my “notes” were frequently actually creative writing, and when I took a bit of time between graduation and getting a job for health reasons, I’d go sit in on my father’s classes that he taught partly because they were interesting and partly because it was over an hour where I could just sit and write with background noise and guaranteed lack of interruptions.)  I also frequently put on a crime drama in the background while I write, or a baseball game.  I love baseball, but I like writing while watching it, too.

5. What is your favorite genre to write?

Oh, fantasy, always.  There’s a reason legends and myths keep creeping their way into my Star Wars fanfics.  I grew up on the feminist fairy tale books my mom got me, and I completely adore them still.  But hey, I’m a fairy tale specialist.  I teach them.  I analyze them.  I read them.  I love them.  :)

6. Do you ever experiment with other styles or genres?

Sometimes.  I do blended genres a bit.  The novel that’s in revision is near future fantasy.  I’ve got a couple fantasy/mystery blends.  My Star Wars fanfic tends to get fairy tale themes dragged into it. . .  (No, I’m not obsessive, why would you say that?! *laughs*)

7. What is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Touch choice.  It would vary by the day.  Have a line that probably fits somewhere in Dreamwalker, even if I’m not entirely sure where:

“If you cost me my son, I will set the Galaxy aflame before I follow him.”

8. Summarize your favorite scene you’ve ever written in any of your works:

Hm.  Touch choice.  I’d have to choose between a couple for the first world I ever created.  That’s still the mythology for pretty much every original project I’ve ever written, and I have a bunch of bits and pieces about that world itself, too.  I keep rewriting the first novel set there.  It’s the first novel I ever wrote, and it has about ten incarnations at this point.  I keep experimenting with style and tinkering with the plot.

The two scenes are before the beginning and after the end of the whole saga.  Keep in mind, this is the mythology for my worlds; the characters are gods.  So there’s the classic conflict between the two highest powers, and their children are caught between them.  One of the kids knows far more about what set this conflict off than the other and is willing to pay the price he knows it will take to to end this, however many millennia will pass between.  The other kid, the one who’s actually foretold to end things, she doesn’t know, so she sees their mother’s cruelty as cruelty.  So I’ve written a scene set before the ‘verse starts, with the son and the mother discussing the price he’ll pay, if he’s ready to pay it.  And also that the mother’s reasons aren’t entirely pragmatic, that the punishment is also partly because he looks too much like his father.  And even though it probably won’t be included in any story, except maybe as backstory at the end of things, just that hinted knowledge that the reader and the main character won’t have is fun.  I had to write it.  I knew it happened, and I needed to see it, and it really informs my characterization of both of them whenever I write them.  So even though it may never be included, it’s incredibly important to me.

The other is after everything is resolved, when the son acknowledges that despite being willing, the price he paid hurt him, in a way that isn’t easy to recover from.  It’s the first time he’s ever admitted that.

9. Do you find editing a daunting prospect? Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Mm.  Revision or editing?  Editing I don’t mind, fixing smaller errors and the like.  I don’t always catch them, another set of eyes is still incredibly valuable even though I’m good at this and teach this, but it doesn’t bother me.  I loathe revising with a fiery passion.  It’s incredibly frustrating.

10. Do you ever draw or doodle the characters in your story to help you visualize a scene?

No, because I’m a lousy artist for people and things.  I can’t manage effective stick figures.  However, I do have a sketchbook and drawing pad with maps of several of my original worlds, because I can draw maps.  And that’s fun.  I’m not a visual thinker, so having an image of a world’s geography I can look at while I plan a story really helps me.

And I’m lousy at playing tag games.  Hm.  Let’s see.  Ten questions.

1.  How did you get involved in writing fanfic?

2.  How much do you like including original legends and stories in your writing, original or fanfic?

3.  How much attention do you pay to the little details, like how long a trip in hyperspace should take?

4.  Do you enjoy creating original characters?  Or is it easier to write other people’s?

5.  Favorite author?

6.  Do you have a favorite fairy tale?  If so, what?  (I’m really convincing on the not obsessive front. . .)

7.  Do you find the visual details of characters or the mindset easier to write when writing emotional scenes?

8.  If you could dictate the topic of a Star Wars spin off, what would it be?

9.  Favorite trope?

10.  Have you ever had a trope that really isn’t your cup of tea get into your head and make you try to figure out how to make it work?  (I’m currently suffering through this.)

Hm.  Who to tag.  Well, completely voluntary, but if @kaelinaloveslomaris, @laivaaja, and @flaminganakin would like to answer?  Or if @radioactivepeasant would like tagged back!  :)

#tag games #fairy tales

[public-works-phl]

Originally published on The Philadelphia Citizen August 9, 2019

It’s 1999, the NFL Draft. Commissioner Paul Tagliabue receives the pick. Eagles fans wait anxiously. “With the second pick, the Philadelphia Eagles select Donovan McNabb.” And just as planned, Eagles fans unleash thunderous boos.

Philly fans, the tired saying goes, are the worst in sports.

So it was no surprise that SportsRadio 94.1 WIP host Angelo Cataldi had organized the “Dirty 30,” a crew that travelled to the NFL Draft to boo any pick that wasn’t running back Ricky Williams. That booing is just one of many incidents that give us the “worst fans in sports” title.

We throw snowballs at Santa Claus. We have a jail in our stadium. We boo our own players.

And over Cataldi’s 30 year career, top-rated SportsRadio 94.1 WIP has become the home of our bawdiest fans. Loud-mouthed and opinionated, Cataldi has challenged former Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel to a fist-fight, asked female callers what they’re wearing, and called a new team staff person each week to be fired. As Cataldi mused on a recent show, “The nature of sports talk is to focus on the negative and pound on it.”

SportsRadio 94.1 WIP is the black heart of Philadelphia sports.

What most of his listeners don’t know is that Cataldi has a journalist’s pedigree: Armed with a masters in journalism from Columbia University, he was recruited from his hometown, Providence, to work at The Philadelphia Inquirer. Soon after he was offered a full-time radio co-hosting position at WIP. And on his first day, Cataldi, in his own words, “took myself very seriously.” He thought he nailed it. After the show, Cataldi was called into the program director’s office, who said “If you do that again, you won’t work here very long. Stop pontificating and start entertaining. This is not journalism.”

“That’s a lesson I never forgot,” remembers Cataldi. “The first goal is to entertain, not inform. To get people to listen, because it might give someone a pleasant trip into work. That lesson sunk in on day one.”

But these days, Cataldi eschews that advice. After Phillies Center Fielder Odubel Herrera’s arrest on May 27, Cataldi tweeted “As soon as the Phillies know for sure that the domestic-abuse charges are true, they MUST release Odubel Herrera.” One week later, Cataldi published an op-ed titled I won’t stop talking about Odubel Herrera, no matter how mad fans get. And they do get mad. Fans excoriate him on Twitter. Fans call into the show to tell him, in so many words, to shut up. “I think it’s a byproduct of the fact that we have a largely male audience—and most of the guys, a lot of the guys, would rather the issue would go away,” says Cataldi. “Tell me who will pitch tomorrow, and if we’ll win the game. Sports is an escape from reality, and the issue plunges one back into reality.”

But Cataldi won’t let up so easy.

“This issue is probably the first time in 30 years, something that is not going to serve the best interests of the audience. It’s not entertaining,” Cataldi says. “I imagine some people don’t want to hear it. But if you do this long enough, you have to take a stance for something.”

How does Cataldi, co-founder of the Wing Bowl and the “Miss WIP” beauty contest, become an uncompromising critic against domestic abusers? “Brett Myers,” says Cataldi. “That’s when it all started.”

On June 23, 2006, Phillies pitcher Brett Myers was arrested and charged with assault. Courtney Knight, a witness to the June 22 altercation, told The Boston Globe: “He was dragging her by the hair and slapping her across the face. She was yelling, ‘I’m not going to let you do this to me anymore.’” Myers was released on bail, and pitched the very next day. Cataldi remembers, “That’s when I started to care. Even when they won the championship [in 2008], I hated Brett Myers. I never embraced him.” (Also, he continued, “terrible country singer.”)

Due to a growing list of incidents, the MLB adopted a new domestic violence policy in 2015. One day after Herrera’s arrest, MLB placed him on administrative leave. At a July 3 court hearing, Herrera’s girlfriend dropped the charges (as often happens in these cases), but MLB still suspended Herrera for the remaining 85 regular-season games of the 2019 season. The Phillies organization has supported MLB’s decision, but has also not released Herrera. Phillies President Andy MacPhail explained,“Our agreement requires that a player comes back, subject to him being evaluated based on what happens on the baseball field.”

Cataldi isn’t impressed. “The team is taking cues from the league. The league is most concerned about protecting the brand. The league’s first priority is not to take a social stand. Most of it is damage control, and making a public display of something to get them out of the current crisis.” Cataldi continues, “These guys have an athletic superiority, and at the first sign of adversity, they strike a woman? Odubel Herrera should never play in this city again. Anyone that strikes a woman should never play in sports again.” While Herrera’s banners were removed from Citizens Bank Park, today he remains a Phillie.

So what can we, as fans, do? The wins and losses for team staff determine job security, earnings, and careers. But it’s sports fans that bear the emotional high of an exhilarating win, and the brutal despair of a close loss, all without any say in team operations. So fans make signs, buy billboards, trying to influence the decisions of their team. Over his 30 years as a sports reporter, Cataldi has a unique understanding of this relationship. He orchestrated the “Dirty 30.” And “Honk for Herschel,” to compel the Eagles to acquire running back Herschel Walker (they did). And voting Phillies Shortstop Pat Burrell into the 2008 MLB All-Star Game (he wasn’t).

“It’s funny to hear them listed like that,” Cataldi told me. “How frivolous the other things were, and how serious this is.” 

I asked Cataldi if the situation will change only if partners press charges. “They should do whatever they feel comfortable with,” he answered. “We should do what justice is. The police should still go after the person. They should find another way to get them. I’m not going to blame them. It’s not going to alter the way I look at the situation.”

Partners call the police when they feel their lives are in danger. But in the courts and back at home, the power reverts back to the players, whose millions of dollars of income creates a power imbalance in the relationship, and must weigh on legal proceedings. Fixing this issue is not the sole responsibility of the partners. It’s our responsibility as a culture that values men’s careers over women’s lives. Unless there is video proof or eyewitnesses, it’s easier to look away from the situation. Forgive, forget, redeem, repeat. It’s time to break that cycle. And it’s significant that Cataldi, the ringleader of the circus that is WIP Sports Radio, won’t shut up about holding abusers accountable. His recent turn alone won’t atone for the last 30 years of morning radio antics. But in the third act of Cataldi’s career, it’s the sign of an entertainer reviving his journalism credentials.

Returning to what fans can do to hold teams accountable for domestic violence, Cataldi offers one suggestion: “Picket these stadiums. Make it so uncomfortable for the MLB, that they won’t tolerate it.” It would be satisfying as a mob of fans to demand that the Phillies release Herrera immediately. But I’m not so sure it addresses a problem this complex.

Psychiatrist James Gilligan once wrote, “The purpose of violence is to diminish the intensity of shame and replace it as far as possible with its opposite, pride, thus preventing the individual from being overwhelmed by the feeling of shame.” To accept this explanation is to also acknowledge that a player losing his career over abuse charges will only exacerbate that shame, and intensify the circumstances that created the abuse. More alarmingly, a leader with the National Network To End Domestic Violence said, “If we would say that the first time your partner calls 911 your career is over, her risk of homicide shoots through the roof.” To accept these statements is to acknowledge that a player ban, while actionable and satisfying, doesn’t address the root cause.

So, how does MLB address a problem as complex as domestic violence? Perhaps the league could treat this issue with the same gravitas it treats the use of performance enhancing drugs. Players found guilty of domestic violence should immediately receive a one-year suspension. An outside counsel should immediately begin treatments. And yes, players should be offered a pathway back to playing. This is not because all players deserve a second chance—I, for one, do not ever want to see Odubel Herrera in a Phillies uniform again. No, this pathway is out of concern for the abused, who may avoid calling the police at all. It also mandates rehabilitation and education, to address the root causes of abuse, so that if and when we see a player back on the field (and that’s a big IF), fans know an independent therapist has guided their recovery.  

Maybe we join Cataldi’s call for a picket, or maybe we compel the league to accept these measures. The league and the team are smart enough to protect their brand by acting just enough to appease the public relations—it’s time for fans to send a clear message to ownership that we will not look away until domestic abuse is not tolerated. If nothing changes, then it’s time that fans begin boycotting games to let empty stadiums do the talking.

“After 26 years of Wing Bowl, the most politically incorrect event in sports history, [this issue has] become more important to me every day, even though I know some people don’t want to hear it,” says Cataldi. “It’s about damn time I stood up for something.”

Photo via Philadelphia City Council

#Angelo Cataldi #Domestic Abuse #WIP SportsRadio #Wing Bowl