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thesinglesjukebox · 3 months

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SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR - "MURDER ON THE DANCEFLOOR" (2001) (2024)

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23 years on and this groove's still got some life in it...

[7.11]

Thomas Inskeep: Sophie Ellis-Bextor should've been the next Kylie — and for a couple years, almost was. Her 2001 debut album Read My Lips spun off a trio of top 3 singles in the UK, including this one, which has over time become her true classic. Dua Lipa's entire career was birthed in this single, the dictionary definition of ebullient dance-pop. (It's fitting that Lipa's "Houdini" is currently the most-played song on UK radio as this single is re-ascendant.) SEB has never gone anywhere: she's still making music, touring (based on her 2022 Sophie Ellis-Bextor's Kitchen Disco (Live at the London Palladium), she still sounds great), and is now a DJ on BBC Radio 2. She just didn't become the massive pop star she deserved to be. Now, thanks to its placement in a climactic scene in Saltburn, her greatest single is getting its flowers, climbing back up to #2 in the UK (so far — my fingers are crossed it can make it that final notch higher). "Dancefloor" still sounds fresh, certainly fresher than the glut of '90s-sampling dance-pop dominating the UK charts. This single sparkles, SEB giving a knowing wink as she sings, especially on the line "gonna burn this goddamn house right down." She knows what she's doing here: making magic. [10]

Edward Okulicz: I bought this on single back in 2002, which tells you something (other than that I am old): it was an irresistible bit of sparkly disco radio pop back in the day. Move it forward or backwards a few years and it might have been an indie rock song for someone else, a filter house record, or (gulp) a Ronan Keating record. Fortunately that never occurred, and it's a delight to see a classic gain new fans from age groups and territories that didn't get it on saturation rotation. Part of it's the solid song by Gregg Alexander, who at his best was a master craftsman of a much-maligned form. Another part of it's the much nimbler, slinky production compared to the rest of his soft-rock oeuvre. And a very, very large part of it is the Debbie-Harry-but-English pose of Ellis-Bextor, too cool to do anything but be filmed dancing from the waist up while she stomps her heel into your eardrums. "Murder" really has everything — a catchy chorus, the tinniest guitar solo ever, hooks that fall as much off the words as the melody — and so is perfect for every occasion, even a movie I am never, ever going to see. [10]

Alfred Soto: Like the Pet Shop Boys' "Rent," waaayyyy too good for Saltburn — perhaps Emerald Fennell thought their incandescence would rub off on her as if it were glitter. Part of a vanished climate of French house-inspired crossover pop like Kylie Minogue's "Love at First Sight," Sophie Ellis-Bextor presages Katy B's regular-person anonymity: she surveys the strings and rhythm guitar licks like a party hostess keeping an eye on the band while sipping her prosecco. [8]

Alex Clifton: I haven't seen Saltburn and frankly have no interest in it, but this film has led to the Sophie Ellis-Bextor renaissance which is a net good for society. "Murder on the Dancefloor" is just brilliantly composed and produced; it feels as fresh today as it did twenty years ago. There are so many thrilling little moments from Ellis-Bextor's vocal delivery: the way her voice curves into "about your kiiiiiind," the little rasp in "there may be others," the little trill of "dancefloor" in the bridge. I feel so biased writing this review because I've literally been listening to this song since I was a kid, but I'm so jazzed about "Murder" finally receiving the love it deserves. [10]

Ian Mathers: How can you not love pop music when it'll randomly do things like this, suddenly giving us a song to review from before the earliest days of the Jukebox, that is here purely because of its use in a movie that I have not seen but am informed was probably picked on the basis of Ellis-Bextor's plot arc in the music video. And if I'm not willing to go to bat for it quite as hard as I would for "Running Up That Hill," I did love "Murder on the Dancefloor" in 2001 and it still sounds great now. I don't find myself having any reaction more complicated than happiness at hearing it again and that particular joy of people liking something you like. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: If you told me this came out in 2021 and Emerald Fennell asked Sophie to use it in her movie set in 2001 because it was just that on point in depicting the time, I would agree. Then after taking out my phone, I'd be punched in the face and meekly give up my phone. Then, after watching you sprint into a nightclub, I'd immediately thank goodness you didn't ask for the passcode and run like hell for the closest subway. I am three stops from home before I remember this did not actually come out in 2021; there are other Sophie Ellis-Bextor songs and jailbreaking is a thing now. [10]

Leah Isobel: RIP Mark Fisher. You would've written a hell of a blog post about Saltburn. [7]

Mark Sinker: Necessary digression 1: heraldry as a science in Europe is roughly 900 years old, a bright and stylised easy-read guide, highly rule-bound and policed, to class and land and title — which is to say to material history (its jargon-field is still mostly words not otherwise used in the UK since the 14th century; even property law is less lousy with extinct Norman French terms). And like many very aged things, it has necessarily also passed through phases and fashions, as technologies of display arrive and depart. In fact the first inkling I had that I wasn’t going to get on with Saltburn was the typeface chosen for the title on-screen at the outset. It’s a font with a fairly specific ill-set ungainliness to it: it wants to have the weight of "pleasingly and weirdly old; not how we do things now," but it might just as well be some off-the-peg super-modern studio confection — or even (though I slightly doubt this) something custom-fashioned purely for the film. There’s no discernible care to the choice. Necessary digression 2: back in the late '70s when Peter Saville was busily and insouciantly borrowing from this or that actual-real document or design, of such-and-such era, part of the point was the severity of the decontextualisation — except there was a rigour to the carelessness. The item was being supplied with an iconicity (the very word) pulling you in towards whatever the item was that Factory Records was then placing on the market. The surface glamour of the original was to be funneled through in such a way that its weight amplified only the new relationship. In fact (in its stylised easy-read way) Saville’s work was ruthlessly the opposite of heraldry, so very good at managing the ambient melancholy that suffuses the wider Factory moment; all the blocks and counterspells necessary to conjure here beyond the end of creative time as the context for the music to have presence. Anyway, long story short (lol) Saltburn – which would love to believe it has accessed the aura, for example, of the cover of New Order’s Technique — is attempting to juggle the same double burden. It wants to conjure a play between the decontextualised pull of 24-hour-party-people hedonism and the real ineluctable unremovable weight of actual history and actual class and actual land and actual title. Except for its story to work it needs both dimensions (hedonism and weight; heraldry and careless scribble) to register, as Saville absolutely didn’t. No block, no counterspells, nothing to dampen the disturbances — so when poor old Sophie EB’s voice and poise are scalpeled out of their 20-year-old chart context and abruptly c/p-ed into whichever late-stage scene it is, well, here they are, as a clumsy synopsis (calculation, side-eye, dancing, death) the structure really shouldn’t require, in a role the song is the wrong mood (a faintly gauche trifle, a chirpy hustle) to deliver. The movie never works out where it gets its deep reveal from, or what shape its politics are (if politics is even a useful word here). Ill-set ungainliness all over again: the carelessness floods back into the borrowed adornment, and breaks it in pieces. I don’t even love this song that much but I hate how it gets what value it has so gracelessly driven out of it. [2]

Jacob Satter: At the risk of killing the groove, this is a pretty boring choice for a manufactured revival track. Call me back when the kids discover "It's In Our Hands." [4]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: I'm glad everyone's having fun here but the more I try to enjoy this — either on its own terms or as an icon of nostalgia — I get nothing. Unremarkable in any year. [4]

Lauren Gilbert: It was a [10] in 2001, it's still a [10] now. [10]

Katherine St. Asaph: The thing about it being 2024 is that in the intervening 20-plus years since "Murder on the Dancefloor" came out, approximately ninety million more disco-revival tracks came out. Some of them are by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, even. And so many of those tracks are smooth where this is stiff, magisterial where this is timid (and not in a winsome Katy B kind of way; Katy got better arrangements), charged where this is inert and just generally unmurderous. It's actually startling how inessential this sounds by comparison. [3]

Oliver Maier: Even as a youth, before my brain was burdened with indulgent critical vocabulary, I felt like this song just didn't work. I can't pin down whether "Murder" is knowingly a little chintzy (dare I say camp?) or if it's just cheap tat trying sincerely to sound boutique. Benefit of the doubt granted or not, Ellis-Bextor sounds like she's doing karaoke off the sofa. [4]

Michael Hong: When Ellis-Bextor pauses, it's easy, like a quick and graceful end to a conversation rather than the expectant response to her more spirited word choice. She's committed to this casualness, easily slipping away at the hint of a faux pas, which makes the occasional lingering word more charming. "About your kind," she sings, as if looking you up and down, wondering if she's got it wrong this time; the word "others" is trailed as if she's daring you to eliminate the competition. In that way, "you better not kill the groove," delivered with such nonchalance, becomes a fervid instruction. [7]

Will Adams: It's cute, Sophie is ever-charming, but there's real problem when you've got songs in your catalog with titles like "Bittersweet" and "Heartbreak Make Me a Dancer" that offer way more palpable drama than the one with the word "Murder." [5]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Every other line is threatening here. “Stay another song,” “Don’t think you’ll get away,” “You better not kill the groove.” Sophie Ellis-Bextor isn’t demanding fear, though. That’s what makes “Murder on the Dancefloor” so irresistible: she sounds like a friend, albeit one who’s deathly serious about having a good time. When you hear her, you believe it can be this good for you too. [8]

Taylor Alatorre: Wow. They were allowed to make these slick disco-pop reimaginings with actual guitar solos back then? We must retvrn. [8]

Tara Hillegeist: It feels like a time capsule from another era in pop music entirely, because it is. There was a time when Ellis-Bextor's stately, imperial, nigh-inhuman precision of a delivery felt like nothing so much as the edifice within which pop star royalty could be crowned, particularly in the world of UK pop; it's still hard, even now, to deny the simple pleasures of someone who knows what her job is and then executes it flawlessly. But it's been over two decades since this song originally bowed, and it must be said that it was the impact of songs like, yes, "Murder" itself that raised pop music's skill floor high enough that such icy professionalism now feels like the most tiresome part of it — Dua Lipa does this regularly, after all, and with equal anonymity. No, what saves it, and ensures the song remains nothing so much as a delightful diversion (conditions of its resurgence be damned, I say), are the sampled whoops that come in beneath the guitar solo; notwithstanding that such a slice of controlled disco can credit itself with having a guitar solo to begin with, but the canned hype is such a stupendously goofy touch. It humanizes the song instantly, stripping the archness of its artifice aside to reveal the awkward smile underneath. The moment passes, of course. But the smile lingers. [7]

Anna Katrina Lockwood: I've been waiting 20+ years for an opportunity to issue a dissertation on the songwriting genius of Gregg Alexander and by god am I ready. Though it's hard to imagine it in a different form, "Murder on the Dancefloor" was apparently a cast-off single for Alexander's New Radicals debut, replaced by the equally glorious "You Get What You Give" — like, imagine being such a talented songwriter that you can just cast off a song like this, knowing you've got an equally great one to replace it with! "Murder on the Dancefloor" is just perfection in Ellis-Bextor's hands, with a galaxy of terrific choices in its production to go along with the amazing melodic structure. I still can't help but burst out laughing at the initial vocal hit in the intro on occasion, a perfect, delicately harmonized coo of "Murder!," cutting through the disco instrumental setup occurring all around. It's as great a moment of pop songwriting as I'm aware of — setting the expectation of the song's vibe from the outset. Ellis-Bextor's lyrics are outstanding, cleverly arch but not too shiny, in the thick of it yet also gliding past suavely. The song is incredibly detailed, a carefully calibrated piece — it lopes by with a relaxed stride rather than a reckless dash, a well-tailored Savile Row suit as opposed to an H&M tunic, cut to the millimeter. Yet it's also very clearly of the disco, built for singing along, difficult to avoid dancing to when it comes on. It turns on its heel at moments' notice, with layers of melody playing off each other throughout. Matt Rowe's efforts in production also deserve notice — this song sounds great, so distinctive that it is still eminently listenable 23 years on. I honestly have not a single thing to criticize about "Murder on the Dancefloor," and it's been a long time that I've considered it to be one of the truly great pop songs of my lifetime. It feels like incredibly just desserts to see it garnering so much praise now. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#sophie ellis-bextor #saltburn #music #pop #pop music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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deadcactuswalking · 2 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 30/07/2022 (Central Cee’s "Doja”, Billie Eilish)

How can the UK be LF SYSTEM-phobic? “Afraid to Feel” is at #1 for a fourth week. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Now, hopefully, this will be a quick one. There’s no “Off the Charts” section this week because there’s not much coming out this week so I figured I’d give myself the leeway with the massive stack of releases I have to cover from last week and during this next month. There’s also not THAT much going on in the charts this week, it’s like a mess of other, separate medium-sized stories rather than one or two big stories so I think I can go by my arbitrary RTC dictionary and declare this a “slow week”. With that aside, let’s start as we always do with the notable drop-outs. These are songs exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, and we do have a handful this week: “Flowers” by Lauren Spencer-Smith, “Happier Than Ever” by Billie Eilish, “she’s all i wanna be” by Tate McRae (I sense a theme there) and finally, “One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa.

Our one returning entry is “Wet Dream” by Wet Leg, but in terms of notable gains, we have “Words” by Alesso featuring Zara Larsson at #62 off of the debut, “Dandelions” by Ruth B. going nowhere at #60, “Big City Life” by Luude and Mattafix at #37, “SNAP” by Rosa Linn granting her the first top 40 hit of her career at #26, “Stay with Me” by Calvin Harris, Justin Timberlake, Halsey and Pharrell Williams (in some order) at #22, “Bad Habit” by Steve Lacy at #18 and that’s actually pretty much it. I should probably note that “Seventeen Going Under” by Sam Fender is down from #16 last week to #17, meaning that it is indeed 17 going under, but other than that, it really was kind of a cool week.

The top five this week consists of “Last Last” by Burna Boy at #5, “Green Green Grass” by George Ezra at #4, “As it Was” by Harry Styles at #3, “Doja” by Central Cee at #2 (we’ll get to that mess later) and of course, “Afraid to Feel” at the very top.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “KU LO SA” (A COLORS SHOW) – Oxlade

Produced by ???

Now this is interesting. As far as I know, “KU LO SA” as an official recording has not actually been released, but a semi-live performance in the form of “A COLORS SHOW” – a live performance series on YouTube specialising in hip-hop and R&B, who have had artists on such as JPEGMAFIA, Rico Nasty, Doja Cat and Unknown T – has actually charted before the official release. Oxlade is a Nigerian singer and this is pretty much your typical Afrobeats single, with a slick acoustic guitar, sandy tropical percussion and a slightly weedy performance from Oxlade here, who doesn’t fit well into an odd mix that’s likely a result of the live performance setting. Oxlade delivers a pretty simple song about wanting to be closer with a recently-distanced relationship and whilst the lovey-dovey content isn’t particularly gripping, it’s delivered with as much conviction in its falsetto, and I can’t say it’s not a bad, tropical foundation for him to do so. I can see this getting on peoples’ nerves due to his performance alone, but the amount of Auto-Tuned layers kind of make his convicted love a bit more compelling than it would be if taken all that straight so I appreciate this as is. I wonder how the official release will end up sounding – it’s very possible that the label has purposefully planted this performance to gain some kind of feedback on the song, but if the “COLORS SHOW” performance is doing well, you might as well release it now.

#63 – “Under the Influence” – Chris Brown

Produced by Kiddominant

It’s that time again... Piran, Dillon and Jade suggested that instead of me wasting my time with this hack, I listen to “Something About Your Love” by SG Lewis instead. English dance producer SG Lewis has never interested me, especially not after his snoozefest that was a debut album, Times, which had some decent cuts but ultimately kind of grooveless and disposable. It’s safe to say I didn’t exactly come in with high expectations, so I was kind of taken aback by how much I liked this, thanks mostly to that incessant riff that pretty much chugs throughout the whole song, initially starting with as many filters as possible in typical French house fashion before crashing into that hypnotic four-on-the-floor beat. I could do without the vocals from SG Lewis, as he’s no Romanthony, who sounds about as void of personality as possible, whining over the instrumental which really could have survived on its own. That’s actually the opposite to the problem I had with Times so at least he’s finding new ways to squander talent. The little intricacies in this track, like all the drizzling synth cascades, are pretty effective in creating this semi-obnoxiously lovestruck tone... but whilst that might be the most euphoric feeling at that moment, it does start to drag and you’ll look back at it remembering how annoying you were. That’s kind of the vibe I get from this song: it’s decent, definitely well-made and I like it in comparison to what else I have heard from him, but I’m not really grasped by it entirely and I don’t see this five-minute track growing on me given that.

#49 – “Fantasy” – D-Block Europe

Produced by ???

Guys, is it that hard to credit your producer? They don’t even have their tag on here, for God’s sake. Either way... this is not what I expected. When I see a new song from DBE, I fully expect a badly-mixed trap beat, humorous yet weedy singing from Young Adz and a worryingly substance-dependent ramble from Dirtbike LB... not a slice of tropical-house influenced Afrobeats that... kind of works for me? Sure, that lead mess of a loop is kind of scratchy in the intro, but it’s soon drowned out by the basic pianos and the predictable groove that for whatever reason just clicks, especially with how Young Adz barely cares about being on beat when crooning. It’s also just a straight-up love song, as Mr. Adz harmonises with himself about the fantasies he has wanting to live with this woman, and to be fair to him, it’s not just pointless platitudes. He gives out the kind of detail that I like in these kinds of songs: the mundane and the routine, which contrasted with how beautiful he finds her kind of create the sense that it’s only him that finds her THAT beautiful, and she’s not just some model that he would complement on any other song. That chorus is really way too infectious for its own good, and I kind of love the watery drop as the keys twinkle over Adz. Dirtbike LB is here too, I guess, with a verse that splits the difference between cute and condescending like he’s Drake or something, but he doesn’t detract from the song so... yeah, I’m actually pretty happy with this, and I think that this out-of-genre experiment might just pay them off in the long run. I hope it sticks around.

#47 – “Are You Entertained” – Russ featuring Ed Sheeran

Produced by Fred again..

The attempts by Russ to cross the mainstream in the past few years have just been kind of funny to me, but with “BEST ON EARTH” and “Handsomer” he’s actually been mildly successful, so him bringing on Ed Sheeran is just another laugh to add to the pile of mid-level pop-rap that goes directly against Russ’ more pretentiously independent persona that I think he left behind in the late 2010s, for good reason. You know, I actually like Russ’ debut onto the UK charts a decent amount too. The song is pretty much just them flexing, with both men rapping about how they made sure to get their friends with them as they became famous. Sure, the Russell Crowe sample is kind of on-the-nose, and this kind of song has always felt defensive, but the drill-adjacent trap beat goes pretty hard with the warping 808s and skittering percussion. I do think that Russ’ flow was good in the first verse before he meanders into the melodic nonsense, and that really, he’s second in everything here to Ed Sheeran. People forget that Ed can actually rap, and whilst the subject matter isn’t anything to write home about, he flows with way more conviction and hunger than the actual rapper here, and the backing harmonies Ed has mastered as of recent are present both in his verse and the chorus which actually trades off between the two. It’s nothing all that unique, but it’s a decent enough pop-rap single, and considering that I had practically nothing good to say about Russ beforehand, consider that a compliment.

#33 – “The 30th” – Billie Eilish

Produced by FINNEAS

Billie Eilish released a two-song EP of sorts called Guitar Songs with primarily acoustic tracks that debuted in reverse order this week on the charts. The first one we have is “The 30th”, a song that details – or rather, cryptically refuses detail – an event that happened on November 30, hence the name, which is believed to refer to a car crash in LA. The song is actually pretty devastating as a result, with Eilish’s signature borderline whisper feeling more enunciated than ever as she coos about talking to someone who was hospitalised, with the uncertainty of everything that could have happened to lead to a different result wherein the victim may have not survived serving as much of the thesis for the track. The little observational details perfectly capture that frenzied mind state that one would have in an uncertain, potentially dangerous situation like this. All of those “what-ifs” develop in the bridge and make that final chorus shattering, but kind of reassuring in that the fears were ultimately just “what-ifs”, with that orchestral tension in the bridge accompanied by Eilish’s rapid questioning and the industrial bleeps curating a truly resonant moment before the acoustic guitars come back in, sounding exhausted. Eilish’s falsetto is higher and less controlled, but it’s that out-of-breath relief that makes the song hit as hard as it does. Is the other one just as good?

#23 – “TV” – Billie Eilish

Produced by FINNEAS

The answer is no. Sorry, this one might be the more conventional but is just less resonant to me, mostly because of how lacking in specifics it feels in comparison to its B-side. “TV” captures a certain sense of doom that many a young person feels right now, with the common thread being having to “leave your friends behind” because Eilish is “in love”, though I really think that’s the surface level here, as the theme of love is – at least how I see it – probably a metaphor for being generally enraptured too deep into other emotional commitments that you’re unable to actually manage your relationships with others. It makes sense given the content which I understand is topical but is basically a listicle, with some of the pop culture references feeling a bit tired and thrown in (though it’s likely they’ll be considered profound in retrospect). The folksier tone of this one doesn’t really get me as much as the other track, and this is definitely still a decent song, well-recorded and with a great performance from Eilish, but it’s a tougher sell, especially with the crowd recording that will never not feel tacky on a song like this that tries to tap into that sense of universal dread, and it’s especially odd for a song that really feels like it’s not saying much about the cultural references it wants to tie in.

#2 – “Doja” – Central Cee

Produced by LiTek and WhYJay

Do I even have to dignify this one with a review? I mean, come on, it’s a glorified shitpost by an artist who has established his credibility well enough to make it seem like this is just... something he can do, gleefully, with no concern for how it’ll be received because he has the money for a Lyrical Lemonade video and the “Let Me Blow Ya Mind” so it’ll be a worldwide hit regardless. Okay, to get some formalities out of the way, Eve’s original track featuring Gwen Stefani, which is slick and confident as hell, peaked at #4 back in 2001 when it was released, meaning that with just one week, Cee has overtaken the classic with a pretty lazy sample flip. To be fair to his producers, the sped-up loop doesn’t sound awful, and the subtle synth and vocal inflections they add are pretty decent-sounding, but there are two reasons why anyone cares about this. One is the sample being placed under a stiff UK drill beat, and the second is the main reason: whatever Central Cee is saying. This isn’t the first song this year about wanting to have sex with Doja Cat, considering that $NOT and A$AP Rocky did it a couple months ago with a song that’s just as bad – maybe these kinds of songs are always weird, gross and half-assed, who would have thought? The only logical conclusion from Central Cee’s bizarrely defensive chorus is that he’s hiding something, which is the exact opposite of what he was trying to get at here – ignoring the fact that lesbian fetishism and weapon-related wordplay has been used for years in hip hop when it comes to gay punchlines. Through the singular verse in this song that’s less than two minutes, he tops everything off with this sense of paranoia about his status as a “respected figure” which honestly is just embarrassing. I’m not offended by this – it’d be ridiculous to fall into that trap – but I feel like I can’t respond to this with anything but a sigh. It’s a tired shitpost by a rapper who doesn’t care. The fact that it could have hit #1 incriminates the public more than it does the person who created the art in the first place. At least Eve’s getting a cheque out of this.

Conclusion

Worst of the Week should be obvious, right? Central Cee gets that for “Doja”, but I don’t have a Dishonourable Mention here. Instead, we can have a tied Honourable Mention for both “Fantasy” by D-Block Europe and “Are You Entertained” by Russ and Ed Sheeran, with Best of the Week going to – apologies for the predictability – Billie Eilish for “The 30th”. Next week, we’ll see what Beyoncé has to say. Thank you for reading and I’ll see you then!

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duastuffs · 4 years

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like or reblog

#dua lipa #dua lipa headers #dua headers #headers dua lipa #headers dua #headers #dictionary headers #headers dictionary #dua lipa dictionary #dds

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empireofeditions · 6 years

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® HEADERS Dua Lipa

dont copie.

/karol

#headers #headers aesthetic #aesthetic headers #headers random #random headers #headers collage #collage headers #aesthetic collage #collage aesthetic #headers word definition #word definition headers #word definition #headers dictionary #dictionary headers #dua lipa headers #headers dua lipa #dua lipa

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dangerouspacksz · 6 years

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dua lipa + shawn mendes

like or reblog if u save, please

icons aren’t mine; headers: 1(?), 2, 3, 4(?), 5

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coepiteamare · 3 years

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catch up tag games

i love tag games, but i haven’t been around, so things have piled up. in a frantic attempt to do everything AND not spam the dash, i’ve (once again) compiled.

tagging (if you haven’t done it and if you want to): everyone tagged below + @monvante @cutechim @augustbutwinter @propinqxity @hansolmates @zibermuda

10 questions

Tagged by @triviafics

rules: answer 10 questions and tag 10 people you want to get to know better!

relationship status: single. painfully single

favorite color: pink and blue!

three favorite foods: tacos, creme brulee, honey lavender ice cream

song stuck in my head: levitating by dua lipa (yes i’m late to the party)

last song I listened to: it’s okay if you forget me by astrid s

last thing I googled: ...barbie movie with the weasel

time: 8:46pm

dream trip: visiting all my friends (irl and online), south korea at one point

anything I really want: for my loved ones to be okay. to be happy.

WIP FOLDER TAG

tagged by: @bratkook @joonscore @triviafics @dinamitae @underthejoon @jinpanman

rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. then let people send asks with the title that most intrigues/interests them and you’ll post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it!

1) favourite crime - jk x oc

2) dreamwalkers - jk x dreamwalker!oc

3) maybe the sea calls you (the way you call me) - jk x mermaid!oc

4) the day the world stood still - taehyung x oc

5) the dictionary of lovers - jk x oc

6) untitled, (things you didn’t say at all) - namjoon x acrobat!oc

7) welcome to wonderland (we’re all mad here) - yoongi & jungkook x alice!oc

8) turn back (look how far we’ve come) - jk x oc

the “butter” song challenge!

tagged by @triviafics @opaljm

choose five songs that spell out the word BUTTER and link them, then tag 5 mutuals or the last 5 people in your notifications.

B - brutal by olivia rodrigo

U - urs by niki

T - true crime by epik high

T - the same by ashe

E - ex by kiana lede

R - rain by bts

Zodiac This or That ✨

clean ones here!

tagged by: @triviafics

Sagittarius (sun): Teal or Purple. Topaz or Turquoise. Dandelion or Daffodil. Ginseng or Cilantro. Horse or Stag/Buck. Plane ride or Road trip. Learn Hindi or Learn Japanese. Ginger or Wasabi. Climbing or Snowboarding. Teleportation or Super Speed. Carnival or Circus. Sake or Tequila. Duffel Bags or Suitcases. Time Manipulation or Basic Precognition. Tambourine or Triangle. Backpacking or Whitewater rafting. Aquarius or Libra.

Virgo (moon): Navy Blue or Olive Green. Peridot or Sardonyx. Peony or Sweet Pea. Hops or Rosemary. Chess or Checkers. Carrot Cake or Fig Bar/Cakes/Cookies. Knitting or Crocheting. Grammar Checking/Quality Assurance or Critiquing a piece of work. Golf or Tennis. Buttercups or Morning Glory. Herbs magic or Earth and plant bending. Mice or Bees. Cabernet Frank or Micro-brews. Enchanted Garden or Magic that can perfect skills. Bunnies or Deer. Cancer or Scorpio.

Leo (rising): Gold or Orange. Cat’s Eye or Ruby. Sunflower or Marigold. Aniseed or Elderflower. Oranges or Peaches. Dance or Theater. Cosplay or Creating Fan Fiction. Sunbathing or Hot Stone Massage. Light Magic or Magical Statues/Monuments. Saxophone or Trumpet. Chardonnay or Gin. Super Strength or a Power like Occlumency. Lions or Tigers. Being a Queen/King or Having Immortality. Being the hero or Being the headliner. Tickle or Pillowfight. Libra or Gemini.

This or That

tagged by: @triviafics (lol i love you isi)

love at first sight or slowly growing fond of someone? love letters or mixtapes? hand kisses or kisses on the cheeks? understanding each other without words or finishing each others sentences? gazing into each other’s eyes or looking away blushing? longing to be with someone again or spending every second together? laughing together or crying together? someone run their fingers through your hair or gently playing with your hand? surprise kisses or long tight hugs?

check-in tag!

tagged by: @yeojaa

1. why did you choose your url?

coepi te amare means i have begun to love you in latin. i first heard it from a rixythewraith ff with double b and i’ve used it in a lot of things ever since.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them

estbellumsacrum - my personal. there’s just a lot of art and things that are too sad to be here.

3. how long have you’ve been on tumblr?

uhm i had my first tumblr in 2014? in 10th grade. but this one, i made in January 2020.

4. do you have a queue tag?

yup! exqueue you

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i started writing fanfics in highschool, but stopped. i wanted a way to keep myself writing and accountable and motivated, so i started this!

6. why did you choose your icon?

because i love jungkook. hehe

7. why did you choose your header?

because i love him. but also, it looks kind of whimsical and magical.

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

uhm probably “you have (1) new voicemail”

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i have no idea tbh

10. how many followers do you have?

300 something!

11. how many people do you follow?

233

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

uhm not on here, but yes. yes i have

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

uhhh i used to be on it consistently. now a days, maybe once or twice a day?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

not to my knowledge!

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i feel a lot. i’m not just going to reblog things for the sake of reblogging, especially when i’m not educated on the topic and could be spreading false information. when i think it’s important, i’m going to do my research and educate myself. i do understand the importance of signal boosting, so i can understand where the “you NEED to reblog” part comes from, but at the end of the day, social media is also (especially tumblr) a form of escape. let people have whatever blogs they want, as long as they’re not hurting or harming anyone.

16. do you like tag games?

yuh

17. do you like ask games?

yes yes yes

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

uhhhh tbh, everyone? all of my mutuals are really talented, and i think all of them deserve the world. but uhm...i asked my friend who doesn’t have a writing blog on tumblr and she knows @underthejoon and @bratkook

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

don’t we all? (but in all honesty, she inspired “love letters i cannot send”)

#tag games with violet #violet thoughts on the horizon

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choicesreal · 3 years

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About me.🗣

🗣Well, first of all..I was born on 30th of October. It’s a pretty boring and uneventful day lmao. I’m not going to say the exact birthdate, however it’s in the 2000′s.🤸🏽‍♀️

🗣My pseudonym’s Silsha, and my real name also starts with a “S”, I’m just keeping it secret ‘cause I want to keep that mYsTerIoUs vibe going on, is it working?🥺

🗣I’m from the Philippines, born and raised. I am also full Filipino (or at least I think so? My mom said we have a lil bit of French blood in there, so..🥐oui 🥐 ).. I was actually supposed to be raised in the US, but my mom’s visa got declined. She went to US last year though! (not me getting jealous but ok.)

🗣I’m an ambivert. There are times where I’m shy as fuck, and times where all the nastiest in this world’s dictionary comes outta this big ass mouth. There are times where I grab any opportunity to keep away from other people and just stay in my room with my trusty book and earphones, while there are times that I go out with my friends and go to the mall or chill in their houses. (ofc, before COVID happened.)😷

🗣I’ve played Choices since early 2018, and boy, if my past self would look at how addicted I am to it now, past self would run screeching to the ends of the Earth. 🏃🏽‍♀️ 💨

🗣My favorite books from Choices are Open Heart (this is the one fucking reason why i’m stuck going crazy over one blue-eyed spoiled child diagnostician called Ethan Jonah freaking Ramsey), The Heist Monaco, A Courtesan of Rome (the main reason why I’m OBSESSED with ancient Roman history, and why I want to go there on my birthday.), Platinum, A Royal Masquerade, Perfect Match (though I wasn’t able to finish it..) Blades of Light and Shadow (my bb Tyril 😿) Distant Shores (FUCK YOU PB, FUCK YOU.) Queen B,(yeah, I know it was such a mess, but I kinda liked Ian ;-;) and last but certainly not the least is....Most Wanted!

🗣The other games that I’ve played and stayed for a while was Romance Club (please, please, please support and check this app out! It’s really worth it and won’t disappoint you!) and Chapters (this was the game that I’ve also been obsessed about too! Aside from Choices, when I took a little time off of Choices and went inactive with this account, this was my only safe haven then, with all of those schoolworks pouring in, it was really hard to take a breather.)

🗣What does Choices mean to me? It means the world to me, the absolute world. Hell, because of it, I got to meet so many nice and appreciative people here on this platform itself.(Thanks, Tumblr. I’ll make sure to give you a five star rating if I don’t forget it again😭) I got included in a community that I felt really comfortable to be in, and most importantly, it made me happy. I consider it as my safe haven, from being depressed and anxious. I’ve never really acknowledged myself as one, but it’s noticeable, even to myself. I just don’t show it. Our education system here sucks, just..no words.

🗣My favorite singers are (internationally): Sabrina Carpenter, Camila Cabello, Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa, Adele (queen, please come back🕊),The Weeknd, and many more that I can’t remember.

🗣My favorite songs now are: (pls try to listen to them if you have the chance!) Skin by Sabrina Carpenter, Earned it by The Weeknd(yeah no actually, every song of his is my favorite, sorry not sorry.), Tango by Abir, This City by Sam Fischer, Safety net by Ariana Grande (all of her songs in her newest album, no actually all of ‘em!), Loves Control by Camila Cabello (another artist who’s powerful enough to make me love all her songs.) and so many more LMAO i’m just lazy to type all of it, it’ll go on for decades.

🗣I almost forgot- I’m a she. It may come of as a shock to others, some not, but yes. LMAO. I think it’s pretty obvious from how I talk online.

🗣I’m a pretty chill not chill student. (not me lying to myself to make me feel better.) But really, I don’t put that much effort when it comes to education, and I didn’t even review when it comes to quizzes and exams back from 1st-6th grade. What changed? Well, the fact that became older and became more self-conscious about it (my grades). But, I still don’t give it my all partly because of my belief that we should enjoy our youth. Studying too hard may hinder that. And so, I did just that. I’m not particularly a naturally intelligent student. I’m just observant and can be pretty hardworking if necessary (groupings for school projects and stuff.) I’m not the type who goes and becomes a leader in one group cause I can’t handle the pressure and I don’t give enough authority vibes to be listened to (I can though, if y’all push my buttons too far.), however I act as an assistant leader, who also helps in anyway I can and handles all the research (’cause I love learning new things online, and I love to research.) And so, I kinda became a With Honors type of student. (sHocKer.) And honestly? I don’t regret putting a bit of effort in school, because I get to see how proud my parents are for me.

And if you’ve made it this far...you’re a complete sTalKerR!! Nah, just kidding you’re cool. LMAOO. Thank you for reading this short-filled information about me, or also known as @choicesreal. It’s been really fun to type this out, because I might come off as kind of a closed book around others in the community. This is a text to let you learn a few bits and tiny details about me! Part 2? Maybe. It really depends KDJHAKDJH. And now it is time for me to end this post as my eyes are stinging.

With that, Paalam muna. (From my native language, it’s translated as “Goodbye, for now” in English.)

#not choices #it's just me spilling facts no one even asked about LMFAOOO #yeah this is me bored #kajdhkasjdh #personal #about me

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atelophobicdreamer06 · 5 years

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21 Tag Game

Tagged by: @tapedtothebackofthecloset

Answer 21 questions and tag people you want to get to know better

Nickname: Grandma/Grandmother, Egghead, Honey(bear), Dico (short for dictionary in French)

Zodiac Sign: Virgo ♍

Height: 160 cm// 5 ft. 3

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Last thing I googled: SAT dates 2019 :(

Favourite Musicians: The 1975, The Cab, The Chainsmokers, The Neighbourhood, The Pirouettes, The Script, Alan Walker, Alec Benjamin, Arctic Monkeys, Astrid S, Bastille, Bebe Rexha, Blackbear, Blackpink, BTS, Bülow, Clean Bandit, Coldplay, Cœur de Pirate, Dodie, Dua Lipa, Ed Sheeran, Fall Out Boy, 5SOS, Halsey, Hayley Kiyoko, Holland, Hoshi, Hozier, Imagine Dragons, King Princess, Lana Del Rey, Lauv, Lee Hi, Liam Payne, Lindsey Stirling, Little Mix, Lorde, Louis Tomlinson, Mamamoo, Marina (and the Diamonds), Mitski, MCR, Niall Horan, Nina Nesbitt, NF, Oh Wonder, Olivia O'Brien, One Republic, Panic! At the Disco, Pomme, Rauf & Faik, Sam Smith, Selena Gomez, Shawn Mendes, Stray Kids, Taeyeon, Taylor Swift, Tessa Violet, Troye Sivan, 21 Pilots, Vendredi Sur Mer, Videoclub, Wrabel, Zolita

Song stuck in my head: 17 - Julia Michaels

Followers: not that many lol.. I don't post much.. I just look at cute lgbt posts haha

Following: 99

Amount of sleep I get: 3-5 hours, 6 if I'm lucky

Lucky numbers: 6, 36, 2, 5

Dream job: probably a teacher.. or a psychologist ( I just wanna help others)

Wearing: hoodie + jeans

Favourite Songs: oh wow I have so many.. I'm only gonna list a few

Mansion - NF ft. Fleurie

Paralyzed - NF

Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood

Fallingforyou - The 1975

Weak - AJR

Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko

Mercy/Gatekeeper - Hayley Kiyoko

West Side - King Princess

Je pense à toi - Hoshi

Mistral Gagnant - cover by Cœur de Pirate

Empty - Olivia O'Brien

1-800-273-8255 - Logic ft. Alessia Cara

Marry Those Eyes - MKTO

I lost you - Havana ft. Yaar

Je vais t'aimer - Louane

First Love - Suga

Love Song - Bülow

Instruments: I've been playing the piano since I was 7. I also played the violin, guitar, and drums for a bit.

Random Facts: I'm a polyglot (I know many languages). I can also make a duck & hedgehog sound🦆🦔

Aesthetic: uhh classy, elegant & gay lol.

I tag: @sadvisuals @hellabii @takenbysleep23 @notcrystalbutkrystal @cha-writer @chilltm

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stephahaa · 5 years

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Fandom and Fan Activism

According to the Cambridge Dictionary (2012), Fandom refers to admirers, the state of being an enthusiastic fan of someone, something or multiple things such as books, comics, television series or shows, movies, comics, video games and many more. There are multiple websites and clubs that cater to specific people who are interested in the same particular item, group, society or person. Websites like Fandom and Tumblr are two examples of websites that cater for these community. Fandom.com is a global entertainment media brand that caters for the community that is very much into the world of pop culture like games, movies, television series, videos and many more to explore and contribute to. They have a global audience of over two hundred million monthly uniques and also represent more than four hundred thousand communities. Tumblr is also currently the preferred social space for fans. Fandom there is full of gatekeeping, drawing boundaries between true fans and casual fans. It is way how people engage with source materials, or self-imposed exile saying that they are not real fans because they cannot afford to attend to that convention. Even the most confidence among all will not be in fandom when they feel like they do not love something enough. Communities on Tumblr that are into a particular interest love joining, posting and reposting something that they find interest in. Locke (2017) mentioned that fandom is not about what you love, it is about how you love it. So are media representation of fans as ‘weird’ and ‘overly emotional’ fair? We are a human being and each human beings are different, respond differently and handle things differently. Others may seem weird to others when they are not in that position where they like something so much. Some become overly emotionally as some people are very sensitive when it comes to their feeling and emotions. Some people just smile and giggle when they are happy and some just burst out crying when they are overjoyed. So we cannot really judge people by how they react or act even though it may seem weird. For myself in general, I am a fan of an English singer and songwriter name Dua Lipa. I love her songs, clothes, character, looks, and voice especially. But then again I am not that obsessed to have posters and pictures of her on the walls all over my room or even have items or merchandise that has her name or picture on it. I think that is a little bit too much for me. Just average, not overly obsessed. Fan activism has been a ‘buzzword’ for the media as well, as fans take to social media to voice their discontent on current political and social upheavals. Some fan activism has gone too far and has become an excuse for persecuting difference. A good example of when a fan of the BBC’s Sherlock Holmes drama who supports the hypothetical queer romantic relationship between Sherlock and John Watson. One of the casts named Mark Gatiss then responded which was against what was mentioned then caused a serious fandom meltdown, accusing Gatiss which is an openly gay man of being insensitive to queer fans on the day of a major tragedy within the LGBT community (Romano 2016). Different people have different interest, a different perspective, different feelings, and different points of view. Some find it weird and some may find it normal. So we could just take it as it is.

References:

Fandom 2019, Dictionary.cambridge.org, viewed 19 May 2019, <https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/fandom>.

Locke, M 2017, '5 Things I learned studying fandom', Medium, 14th of September, viewed 19 May 2019, <https://medium.com/s/5-things-i-learned/5-things-i-learned-studying-fandom-2bb857fdef03>.

Romano, A 2016, ‘Social justice, shipping, and ideology: when fandom becomes a crusade, things get ugly’, vox.com, 7th of August, viewed 19 May 2019, <https://www.vox.com/2016/8/7/11950648/fandom-shipping-social-justice-ideological-warfare>.

#mda20009 #digital communities #week9 #fandom and fan activism

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kpoptrashxo · 5 years

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💜Get To Know Me Tag💜

I was tagged by @kingparkjinyoung 💜

———

Name: Beth (full name Bethany)

Nicknames: Beef, Beffy

Gender: Female

Zodiac: Aquarius but I’m two days of being a Pieces so I sorta switch between the two

Height: 5”8

Time: 21:06

Favourite musicians: BTS, GOT7 Akdong Musician/AKMU, EXO, BIGBANG, iKON, Day6, Stray Kids, Monsta X, 2NE1, Winner, Jay Park, Dean, Zico, BLACKPINK, Eric Nam, Ariana Grande, Ed Sheeran, Zara Larson, Justin Bieber, Post Malone, Khalid, Drake, Avicii, 5sos, One Direction, The Weeknd, Shawn Mendes, Dua Lipa, Celine Dion, Phil Collins, Twenty One Pilots, Spandau Ballet, Panic! At The Disco, Bruno Mars, Hoodie Allen, MAX, Paloma Faith, Sam Smith, Wham!, Calum Scott, Cardi B, Anne-Marie, Bruno Mars... There’s loads and I’ve probably forgotten some😂

Song stuck in my head: Dinosaur - AKMU

Last movie I saw: Mamma Mia: Here we go again

Last thing I googled: I searched for urban dictionary so I could see what a crack daddy was. Blame Kian and Jc for that

Last song I listened to: Dinosaur - AKMU

Other blogs: @fxckkbeth (side blog) @kpopmemeparty (meme/pack account)

Do I get asks: only when I ask for them or when I open my requests😫

Why did I choose this username: self explanatory really. I’m a hoe for Hobi🤷🏼‍♀️

Following: 1810 and I have 492 followers😭 (you guys are amazing)

Amount of sleep I got: honestly I don’t keep track. I usually go to sleep at like 2-2:30am and wake up at 10amish? So that’s like a solid 8 hours

Lucky number: I don’t have one but the first number that came into my head was 4 so let’s go with that

What I’m wearing: Lady and the Tramp pjs😎

Dream job: I wish I knew lmao. I want to go into nursing but something in media would be a back up plan

Dream trip: I want to travel all across East Asia so China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines etc. I’ve always wanted to go to New York as well

Favourite foods: Asian whether it’s Chinese, Korean, Indian etc. I also love Italian, but can’t go wrong with a classic proper British Sunday roast👏🏼

Instruments: I can play like two songs on the piano, I used to play the ukulele and violin but I haven’t done that in 6+ years so it’d sound awful😂

Favourite songs: as of now

Dinosaur - AKMU

Just Right - GOT7

Love Scenario - iKON

Ghost of you - 5sos

God is a woman - Ariana Grande

Loser - BigBang

No Interruption- Hoodie Allen

Relationship status: single n ready to mingle (but @jacksnschild is my main hoe)

Favourite colours: baby pink, white, black, grey, red and khaki

Three books: I don’t read I’ll do ones that have always stuck with me

Wilde Like Me - Louise Pentland

Don’t Try This At Home - Kian Lawley and Jc Caylen

Matilda - Roald Dahl (yes I am 18)

Three TV shows:

Wild at heart

The Simpsons

Friends

Book I’m reading now: does fanfic count?😂

How many blankets do you sleep in: one... the tog changes for the season and I have a blanket if I’m really cold. I sleep with 6 pillows tho😂

Anything I want: happiness and a good year

———

I tag @jacksnschild @jungkooooooookie @btsreactionmemes @ikonsmagicshop @mary-the-wise @bluemoonamjoon @serpentstyles and anyone else who wants to do it! (Remember you don’t have to do it guys!)💜

#beth talks #hoe4hobixo #tag #get to know me

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franchescacruz · 6 years

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In Squares: 01/18

Hello! Welcome to the first part of this series for the year 2018. I'll take you to a recap of how this month went for me. This series has a new format wherein I'll make bullets for the highlights, favorites, music discoveries, and achievements for the whole month. An additional list of goals for the next month will also be included--just for me to keep track and actually do all of these, hahaha.

The year started out with so much happiness, hope, and love. I’ve been able to accomplish so much in such a short span of time (though some say that January felt like forever). Some days were okay but for the most part, I’ve become so much more positive and it made me learn about myself and how to perceive the world in a different perspective. The month of January will always be a month of discovery but also a time for comfort as well. Aside from being the start of the year, this is my birth month which may be the reason why I’m mostly in an upbeat mood every first month of the year.

Below are the lists that sum up my January.

Highlights:

Disney on Ice with the family

Catching up and exchanging gifts with my high school best friends

A date at the planetarium with my favorite hooman

Birthday weekend celebration at Tagaytay

Thrifting in Manila and Tagaytay

A very bad case of impulsive buying (Why is this such a highlight? Well, I love almost everything that I got!)

Rebranding, giveaway, and other stuff for the blog

Cafe, museum, and a quick shoot with Tin

Favorites:

Thrifted maroon jacket (as seen above)

Adidas Superstar BW3S Slip-On shoes in white

Artwork Yes It’s Okay yellow tote bag

Hoop earrings in general

Colourpop’s Yes, Please! eyeshadow palette

3CE Mood Recipe Matte Lip Color in 114 Rows

Muji pen and planner

Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleo

The End of the F***ing World

Dua Lipa’s album

keshi

Burbank

Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

Astro Poets

Reading about my Natal Chart via Cafe Astrology.com

Shopee

Monthly music discovery playlist

Achievements:

Thesis book revisions, printing, binding, submitting

Graduation errands

Blog errands

Going back to reading books

My photo and its printed form got posted on Woman, Create’s Instagram account and Facebook page

Submitting photographs for a magazine (fingers crossed on this one)

Getting accepted as an artist for the Winter 2018 exchange of the Postcard Collective

Created my Facebook page

Created a Bloglovin’ for Soon the Moon

Goals for February:

Accomplish errands that I wasn’t able to do this month

Monthly room cleaning and closet organizing

Hold a closet sale to save money (comment or message me if you’re interested!)

Donate old clothes

Monthly errands

Go out and expose myself to more art

Ship out the postcards for the Postcard Collective

If you managed to read it to this part, thank you so much! I hope January has been well for you and that February offers you nothing but happiness and positivity.

#in squares #mobile photography #monthly favorites

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deadcactuswalking · 3 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 15/05/2021 (Coldplay, J. Cole, Trippie Redd & Playboi Carti)

I’m awful at predicting this chart, I really am, but most of that is probably down to how I only make vague predictions at the end of each episode without even considering most releases that’ll actually chart. Let’s just say I didn’t expect nine new arrivals this week. At the top, however, little has changed as the absolutely huge “Body” by Russ Millions and Tion Wayne with a remix featuring whoever the hell is spending its second week at #1. The rest of the chart, however, gets a bit more interesting. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

The biggest story to effect the chart this week is of course 2021’s BRIT Awards happening this Tuesday, which I’m sure boosted a lot of songs during the mid-week. I also actually covered the awards show on that day if you’re curious, with some of my observations, predictions and opinions. We can very clear see – or hear, for that matter – the impact of the BRIT Awards in this week’s chart, as it did cause a lot of gains and new arrivals that shook up the chart right in the middle of the tracking week. Firstly, we do have some drop-outs from the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, only one of them, “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy, being all that important given it was a top five hit but we do have a handful that lasted five or more weeks or peaked in the top 40, like “Medicine” by James Arthur flopping embarrassingly, “Addicted” by Jorja Smith dropping out to prepare for the rebound next week given her album release and “Solid” by Young Stoner Life, Young Thug and Gunna featuring Drake.

Speaking of Drake, he also provides the singular returning entry as “Wants and Needs” featuring Lil Baby is proving to be the actual hit from that three-pack from March, coming back to #65. Scaling down the chart, we also have some notable losses, songs that dropped at least five spots on this week’s chart. Those that fell include “Your Power” by Billie Eilish dropping harshly to #15 off of the debut, as well as “Your Love (9PM)” by ATB, Topic and A7S at #18, “Confetti” by Little Mix to #21 off of the return (with Saweetie, the artist quite literally solely the reason it’s had this second wind, still bizarrely left without a credit by the UK Singles Chart), “My Head & My Heart” by Ava Max at #27, “Titanium” by Dave at #31, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted (yes, THEY’RE credited) at #36, “Patience” by KSI featuring YUNGBLUD and Polo G at #42, “Heartbreak Anniversary” by Giveon at #44, “We’re Good” by Dua Lipa at #47, “Way Too Long” by Nathan Dawe, Anne-Marie and MoStack at #49, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #51, “Beautiful Mistakes” by Maroon 5 and Megan Thee Stallion at #55, “Don’t Play” by Anne-Marie, KSI and Digital Farm Animals at #56, “Calling My Phone” by Lil Tjay and 6LACK at #59, “Commitment Issues” by Central Cee at #67, “You” by Regard, Troye Sivan and Tate McRae at #69, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #70, “Hold On” by Justin Bieber getting ACR’d at #71, “Streets” by Doja Cat at #73 and finally, “6 for 6” by Central Cee at #75.

Filling up the room for those losses, however, are the gains, always a tad more interesting, as the songs that rose at least five spots on this week’s chart – or make their first appearance in the top 40, 20 or 10 – are usually having the BRITs to thank to some capacity. The climbers include “Summer 91 (Looking Back)” giving Noizu his first top 40 hit at #31 (and I’ll admit, the song is growing on me), Griff also getting her first with “Black Hole” at #35 thanks to her win and performance at the BRITs, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI rebounding to #13 thanks to that once-again uncredited remix with Miley Cyrus and finally, entering the top 10 for the first time is “Anywhere Away from Here” by Rag’n’Bone Man and P!nk at #9, getting the boost from a perfect trifecta of gains: Rag’n’Bone Man released his album on Friday then on Tuesday had the closing performance of this song at the BRIT Awards with additional vocals from the Lewisham and Greenwich NHS choir, who are also now appearing on a new release of the song the day after, prompting a whole lot of sales, of which I assume and hope are going to charity. It’s Rag’n’Bone Man’s third top 10 hit, P!nk’s 21st(!) and interestingly enough, the NHS choir’s second top 10 hit as they had the Christmas #1 back in 2015. With all of that out of the way, I suppose it’s time to get to our varied array of new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#74 – “Dick” – Starboi3 featuring Doja Cat

Produced by Nius and SoFLY

This week is kind of a weird week if that wasn’t immediately obvious as our new arrivals are kind of all over the place, starting with... well, I think I could say less about the song than the title does. Starboi3 is this SoundCloud rapper from New Jersey who made a song with Doja back in 2019 – I assume she was more accessible for features back then –and it didn’t blow up at all, really, giving Starboi3 some additional traction but not until 2020, in which Doja Cat got her #1 hit and TikTok picked up this explicit single as a new sound. Sadly – or thankfully – the song was never released officially onto streaming until very recently, meaning, surely, the hype’s over by now? The answer to that is no, as it’s climbing up charts in both the UK and the Bubbling Under in the US... so there’s got to be something good about this song, right? Well, no. Not at all. Of course, that is subjective, but I do question your sanity if you’re honestly enjoying this unlikeable nobody shout “Dick!” over a basic, no-melody trap instrumental with heavy 808s not too dissimilar to drill, before going into a beyond basic chorus and verse about, well, you can guess, with rhymes sounding either like an awful freestyle or a kid with a rhyming dictionary. “She not with him tonight, she not with Jim tonight”? Of course, that’s in the post-chorus because if there’s one thing this song needs, it’s a freaking post-chorus. I also don’t think Starboi3 realises that making her scream for her parents is quite the opposite of sexy – or even raunchy and mindless, as it’s actually just creepy and terrifying. Speaking of terrifying, Doja Cat is here and not even she can add a less basic flow with a verse that just ends up going in one ear and out the other, even if I do like the seductive backing vocals that at least try to make this not a slow, joyless slog. However, I do NOT like the Pickle Rick reference. To be fair, this was 2019, but also to be fair, never reference that again, I am begging you. This is a disaster on all fronts and probably one of the worst tracks I’ve had to review in this series. Good start!

#64 – “Freaks” – Surf Curse

Produced by Surf Curse

This new song is actually even older, being released initially as a deep cut from this Nevada duo’s 2013 album. As you’ll probably tell, this is charting off of people streaming after hearing the song on TikTok and, I mean, at least the song’s actually good this time, careening off of a clearly surf-inspired clean riff surrounded by some basic drumming and a good bassline. It’s not great as it does feel increasingly basic as I said, almost like one of those local bands that don’t get much national attention or traction but do play some gigs and get some love at those places, to the point where it’s kind of big if they play shows outside of their region... which makes sense because that is exactly what they are. This is just some band from Reno but here it is charting on the UK Singles Chart and while it’s here, I should say whilst there’s not much here to discuss given how minimal it is, Nick Rattigan’s vocals are fittingly desperate for the theme of social alienation and particularly rejection as it’s pretty obvious he’s aiming venom at himself for a bad break-up, although given the sound and tone of the song, probably his first, with that double meaning of the mantra in the outro, “I won’t wake up this time”, potentially being a crushing line for someone in similar circumstances. That’s not me, exactly, so this doesn’t hit, but I’m glad that Machine Gun Kelly song from last week got replaced with some actually decent alternative rock on the chart. I hope this does well.

#60 – “One Day” – Lovejoy

Produced by Cameron Nesbitt

“One Day” is the biggest track from new English rock band Lovejoy’s debut EP, Are You Alright?, and whilst I was planning on not mentioning the fact that the band is fronted by Minecraft YouTuber Wilbur Soot, that is the only reason it’s charting – and he’s charted with “Your New Boyfriend” a couple months back, a song that I actually kind of liked. It’s also immediately obvious in the writing that this comes from an Internet personality, with some not-so-well-woven detail and increasingly gratuitous self-awareness that eventually cycles back and ends up as seeming like they have none at all... okay, like most indie bands but that’s beside the point. This happens to be Wilbur’s least favourite song on the release – one that I haven’t listened to because even if I’m not too old for mindless pop music, Minecraft YouTuber alt-rock may be where I draw the line – and I can completely understand the distaste for this given that it starts with the line, “Why’d you have to kill my cat?” I also have some qualms with the song sonically as it may be the most derivative rock single I’ve heard on this series, given how obviously it rips from indie rock bands of the 2000s, with an oddly clean mix that doesn’t exactly fit the obvious stream-of-consciousness lyrics and Wilbur’s erratic delivery. Also, there’s a whole lot of trumpet on this song, which I guess is a surprise, but that doesn’t make up for a drummer who can clearly play very well but has to chaotically play over a song with practically no groove. I do like that second chorus in how it builds up to a somewhat anti-climactic guitar solo but as a full song I do not really get the appeal of this that I don’t get out of other post-punk revival bands from decades back who are still pumping out music. This isn’t bad – I swear, don’t dox me – but I just want something more compelling from this. I will always be glad regardless of the quality that we have more rock on the chart, though, even if this’ll be gone by next week.

#57 – “It’s a sin” – Years & Years and Elton John

Produced by Stuart Price and the Pet Shop Boys

One of my favourite performance from the BRIT Awards this year was Olly Alexander of Years & Years sharing the stage with the iconic Elton John to cover Pet Shop Boys’ “It’s a Sin” which had renewed interest from last year as it was the namesake for a hit TV series about HIV/AIDS, for which this fittingly played a role and has kind of been recontextualised as a gay anthem, which makes complete sense if you look at its lyrics about the Church telling Neil Tennant “how to be”. It’s also one of the Pet Shop Boys’ most camp and theatrical songs, so giving it to Years & Years and Elton John to cover for the BRIT Awards make all too much sense. No, they’re not able to live up to the theatricality of the original, especially if Alexander’s vocals are going to be this clearly manipulated at points, but with Elton John’s piano laying a perfect foundation for the rising intensity of the track, we do get a sense of that original melodrama, with the synth-work and house groove coming in before Elton John’s voice, sounding smokier and wiser with age, and in my opinion, more compelling as a vocalist, especially if they’re both going to sell this song with the most convicted of deliveries. I don’t think a cover could ever live up to that original iconic track but if anyone’s going to get close, it’s Elton John. Expect this to rise next week.

#50 – “Never Left” – Lil Tecca

Produced by ThankYouWill, Taz Taylor and Cxdy

I’ll always be annoyed that Lil Tecca blew up as a rapper instead of a producer, as I don’t think this guy has any likeability or charisma about his flow, cadence or delivery, and that’s only after you get over how dry and whiny his voice can get. However, he can make some great and incredibly infectious beats for other rappers, including a song I see becoming a hit soon in SoFaygo’s “Knock Knock”, which I will bet on at least making the Billboard Hot 100 if not the UK Singles Chart. It’s unbelievably catchy. With that said, Tecca is here in the form of some SoundCloud raps over a boring synth pluck and vaguely tropical Internet Money trap beat, sounding and flowing way too much like Gunna for his own benefit, or Gunna’s benefit, if we’re honest, as this shows how easily he can be replaced. I usually don’t write off this type of rap and will absolutely defend it, but this song isn’t even catchy or unique. I mean, I don’t like “Ransom” either but at least it was kind of fun and I still know the lines in the chorus a couple years later. I’ll forget all about this by next week if it doesn’t stick around. At least he shouts out Chief Keef. God, I hope he charts sometime, that’d be funny.

#45 – “All I Know So Far” – P!nk

Produced by Greg Kurstin

So, P!nk is back but not with a studio album, rather an upcoming live album in which the two new, original songs are about or featuring her daughter. This is the second single from said album and is probably coasting off her appearance at the BRITs in terms of a relatively high chart debut. I’ve never been that big a fan of P!nk but she has her classics, none of which are in the past 15 years but that’s beside the point. This single in particular is an acoustic ballad dedicated to her daughter in which P!nk provides a rapid intensity alongside pretty great-sounding acoustic guitars, pounding drums and strings that sells the content about empowering yourself, with some nice lyrical detail about always being yourself, basically, which would come off as cliché and preachy if it weren’t for some oddly specific lyrics in those verses and the chorus that basically just tell her daughter that despite the fact the world will constantly try to crack down on her and everything she does much like life does to anyone but especially women, she should stand up for herself and what she believes in. However, none of that cuts deep when she’s being raised by a millionaire, huh? There’s little Hell to be put through when you’re born with a silver spoon, huh, Willow? Regardless, this isn’t a bad pop song and its content isn’t as misguided as it is just sang by the wrong singer, although I’d find it hard to get a singer with as much rasp and wisdom in the mainstream to sell this as convincingly as P!nk does – vocally, not lyrically. This is a couple steps above that last single, “Cover Me in Sunshine” at least, which was just insidious. Next.

#32 – “Miss the Rage” – Trippie Redd featuring Playboi Carti

Produced by Loesoe

Okay, so all of our last three new arrivals are in the top 40 and we start with... o-okay, well, it’s 2021, anything can and will chart and I should know this by now, but it’s still surprising to see a song by these two guys debut so high, especially since Whole Lotta Red produced absolutely no charting hits in the UK outside of “@ MEH”, which doesn’t really count. This is Trippie’s highest-charting song ever in the UK that isn’t fronted by KSI, so I guess streaming must have been that good – also, the charts are still weak. For what it’s worth, I do like both Trippie and Carti to their respective extents, and I am aware that this is only as big as it was because of the hype from the leak, which also featured Mario Judah, and that in itself was a big song but it took years for Carti’s feature to be cleared by the label, as is infamously true for much of Carti’s work and even his last official collaboration with Trippie that was actually deleted after release. I’m still hoping on an official release for his verse on Yung Lean’s “Yayo”, but whilst we have this instead, I might as well talk about it and... Well, let me explain to you what I see as the appeal of these two rappers. That appeal is, mostly, that they don’t rap even though they both very much can. Trippie yells, moans, growls, screams and spends most of his work singing in his typical raspy, venomous voice, whilst Playboi Cart spits and coughs his way through substance-less ad-libs to the point where any actual wordplay or lyrical detail gets you excited for that brief moment. In this song, Trippie and Carti don’t eschew the typical role of a rapper and both just... rap normally, which would not be a complaint if they weren’t so bland in that role, which is the whole point of their unique, phlegm-filled deliveries in the first place. As a result, this song just ends up feeling empty, even if this awfully-mixed, bass-boosted beat with some lovely distorted video-game synths and hardly audible trap skitters does go incredibly hard. Don’t get me wrong: this is still catchy and Trippie flows very well over a beat that sounds made for him and Carti. Hell, Carti has grown on me so much recently that my fondness for this might just be me eating anything he releases up. With that said, he’s the worst part of the song as his baby-voice style emphasises how lacking this song is in just anything. I do like the wordplay at the tail-end of the verse as, yes, that happens, perhaps not as iconic as some of his other oddly profound or clever lines on his last record but at least it’s something. At least this is some interesting American trap, unlike...

#25 – “i n t e r l u d e” – J. Cole

Produced by J. Cole, Tommy Parker and T-Minus

The pandemic has affected the music industry to the point where big-name rappers release album interludes as lead singles. Said album has songs shorter than this interlude, with most of its dull filler feeling like additional interludes, quite unbefitting for such a big and hyped-up album from Cole which frankly is just another boring addition to an already consistently dull catalogue. I’m just not interested in what Cole has to say because he’s never been likeable and I feel like there’s better rappers that bridge the gap between old and new like how Cole sees himself as doing, the “MIDDLE CHILD”, perhaps, like, you know, Drake? If we want to go for a more direct comparison from lesser-known rappers, the direct comparison I use for this new record is Aminé’s latest, also made up of a variation of trap bangers featuring massive, charting names versus introspective, conscious lyrics, yet Aminé is an interesting character with quotable lyrics that aren’t embarrassing, knows how to write an actual hook and whilst he also brings on both classic and modern features, he’s never out-done by them, creating an actual bridge rather than just some guy who thinks he can write his own role in the industry and culture without his own music backing his case. Unfortunately for me, it works – every freaking time – largely because of his continually loyal fanbase but also a general public interest in the guy that I do not understand, especially when more than a decade into his career, he’s still pushing out mediocre projects. He cuts his album’s length by a ton and still ends up with a bloated record. I barely need to talk about the track itself, right? Even if it has as much structure and effort put into it as his normal songs do, it’s labelled quite literally as an interlude. Sigh, well, in this interlude, Jermaine raps over a drowned-out soul sample and admittedly, sticks to the topic of reminiscing on where he came from, the violence in Fayetteville, a similar violence of which was what killed Nipsey Hussle, who he compares amongst Pimp C and Jesus as they all died at 33. Cole himself is 36 so I guess for once he doesn’t think he’s Jesus. It took him a while to realise.

#12 – “Higher Power” – Coldplay

Produced by Max Martin, Oscar Holter and Bill Rahko

I assumed this would debut at #3 until the BRIT Awards performance gave it a boost to debut at the top but I guess everyone else had the same opinion of that awful opening performance as I did, because here it is at #12. Well, that doesn’t matter, right? Coldplay’s last album similarly underperformed... but at least that time, they had a genuinely ambitious album for once in their careers with some genuine experimentation and themes I did not expect to come out of Coldplay. It was a better album but not an accessible one, with its only pop single being a bittersweet anti-war anthem which trivialises bombing in the Middle East to onomatopoeia. It’s a great song but it wasn’t going anywhere, so it’s no surprise that their next lead single is a soulless synth-pop track produced by Max Martin. Admittedly, the synth tone in the intro is kind of unique in all its nasal 80s nostalgia, but, man, I thought we moved past just rehashing for a hit, Coldplay. This is pretty obviously just a crap attempt at being “Blinding Lights” which trades in its machine-gun loco-motive drum pattern for one that is a lot more stiff, and its iconic, memorable lyrics for a forgettable set of love-struck laziness. Oh, yeah, and Chris Martin is far from the Weeknd both in the studio and live at the BRIT Awards – seriously, dude sounded half-alive. This isn’t offensive, just a bore that is clearly a desperate label move ready for when they can tour again, and if their last record proved anything it was that Coldplay seemed like they were finally above that.

Conclusion

Well, that’s our week – again, a questionable one at best and kind of a bad one at worst. Either way, this is a strange array of songs and I do like how the UK Singles Chart subverts everything you’d expect of it so often that chaos becomes the trend, even if not all of it is any good. I guess Best of the Week goes to “Freaks” by Surf Curse, with an Honourable Mention to Elton John’s cover of “It’s a sin” with Years & Years. Surprisingly enough, J. Cole actually doesn’t get Worst of the Week as the album gets a lot worse than that interlude, so he gets a Dishonourable Mention alongside Starboi3’s “Dick” being crowned Worst of the Week, and honestly probably Worst of the Year so far, not that I’m keeping track of that. Here’s this week’s top 10:

What’s coming next week? More J. Cole, Olivia Rodrigo’s newest single and probably – and hopefully – some album tracks from Jorja Smith and Nicki Minaj. For now, though, thanks for reading. It’s a big week next week, and I’ll see you then!

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elboyo-blog · 6 years

Text

About Youtube Rewind

Right so… youtube rewind 2017 is out. Everyone’s favourite end of year tradition, showcasing all the trends people were talking about, and all the topics and creators on the site that cultivated the community around to make youtube stand ou…

I should stop. This is all bullshit as I am aware you all know, yourtube rewind is, was and always will be throwaway ‘look at us we’re unique!’ shite, but this years was especially aggravating. It really boiled down a reality that has been creeping up on us for a while. Youtube rewind 2017 just shows that youtube doesn’t want to be youtube. Of course that could be seen that last year, for example the whole Dwayne Johnson at the start but I believe that can be justified with the fact that Dwayne has a channel just for himself, what isn’t justifiable from last year at least is the fucking talk show hosts like trevor noah and Seth ‘cumstain’ myers. This only gets worse and worse with this years entry however. But I’m getting ahead of myself, lets just break it down (tl;dr at the bottom)

overview (This will be the most chronological so watching along helps)

Right so off the fucking bat the vid starts with a Stephen Colbert(Not a youtuber) talking to Lele Pons (A viner and Instagram star who flocked to youtube where that ship sank) and some girl beside (I think she’s popular but I don’t know her), we then see some random girl run into the room and start the cue to ‘Despacito’ which I can see why it is there at least, as it sprung to the highest viewed it can have justification. It then cuts to some people dancing and switching shots locations and people (one of which is that one DJ marshmallow or whatever who, again, isn’t a youtuber). It stops at KSI (Who I’ll get too) using a fidget spinner (which ill also get too) with some some vloggers/IG stars beside him (probably). Oh, hey Rhett and Link. We then get showcased to a slime playground of sorts. I have no fucking clue if this was a trend at all. The only thing I can link this too is all the ‘homemade slime’ tutorials I always hear about. The only thing I really got was ‘Wow! Muselk is thicc’ but other than that the whole thing I think was pointless. Then, for some reason, they put rinestones on their faces? Again, was this a trend? Like, was there a whole underground rinestone craze that slipped under people’s noses? Like most things though, I doubt if it was a trend it even started on youtube. Anyway, they do the dua lipa thing, go to Africa, uuuuuuuugehiehehiihesfiefbfrbeube, do dance crazes during said ‘uuuuuuuugehiehehiihesfiefbfrbeube’ that didn’t originate on youtube and HEY! The eclipse was a thing right? EventhoughthatprimarilyhappenedintheUSthereforealienatinganyrelatabilitythatyoutubewasgoingfor buuuuuut I digress. They do do one thing right which is the whole meme graveyard idea (fitting, I know) parodying the video for the worst tayloer swift yet (nothing beats love story fight me) oooooooh but then the DAB! They hit that DAB! Into yet another ‘uuuuuuuugehiehehiihesfiefbfrbeube’. Oh cool poopy’s there. Don’t know who that other person is but maybe it’s a new character in the poppy lore or maybe its just a person I don’t know or maybe recognise. The whole hurricane Harvey thing they pull next is insulting to the point ill reserve a whole section to it. Skipping that we go to a roof party with the DJ and the fidget spinner, a perfect almagimation of all that isn’t youtube based trends, seriously the dj could maybe be related as he uses youtube as an outlet for his music but fidget spinners were a physical thing! It was a brand! Literally this year’s version of silly bandz! Yes Susan, include this! Very youtube, much wow! Fuck off. Anyway, we see the party is home to the biggest twats of youtube, team 10 and the pauly boys (Note: that’s a nice band name). with them on the roof are stars that again, didn’t start on youtube. Most of them are viners and/or IG stars with like one or two from fine bros React (I shit you not if you look in the back there’s the old guy from elder’s react). We cut to more slime bois (hey Tomska). When they cut back, (yes holy shit it is the guy form elders react! Jfc) and they do their sick moves like the floss, a move YouTube claims to have homebrewed as well (come on guys, Katy Perry tried to claim it first). Hey, look its every 14y/o girls wet dream. More slime boyos. I think KEEM screams the floor is lava but… that trend was an IG trend wasn’t it or like the last vine trend, but it got Ol’ Yellered, like, just because Fine Bros do a youtubers react to it doesn’t make it a YouTube thing! Jeez louis. Big Shaq’s there, that’s neat. Some filler dancing and cuts when they cut back to the graveyard reinforcing that is it a graveyard for dead memes which I have problem with, because that would insinuate that ‘All Star’ died this year. No, it didn’t, and as long as Steve Harwell is still on God’s green earth no it won’t, yes its popularity has dulled but it was actually a meme that just faded away, cropping up every once in a while, its survival is different to similar trends like ‘We Are Number One’ which can make people I know physically wince when heard. All star didn’t die, it’ll be back if it even left in the first place. More vloggers and traditionally attractive people flash by as a whole recap happen of the torment thrusted upon me. The last live action sketch is Lele and her friend greet the non-youtuber rounding out the production. The credits are actually the best part of this however as we see different pseudo-animators (think more odd1s out, less Psychicpebbles), such as Extra Credits, Tabbes, Jaidenanimation, Odd1sout, Rebecca Parham, ItsAlexClark and Simon’s cat. Though their subject matter is just as pander-y shite as the whole vid you can see the effort in their animation and it’s nice to see that youtube finally removed the dildo it has been shoving up most youtube animator’s asses for the last 3-5 years (but by ‘removed’ I really mean they just slapped a sign on it that says ‘here at YouTube, we love our animators!’ and pretend they solved the problem.

Dead fucking memes/(hate to use the phrase but) irrelevancy

The Dab, fidget spinners, shooting stars with more probably but it was hard to see during my stroke, point is, YouTube is out of touch and has zero self-awareness when it comes to memes and trends

I know the word sounds pretentious as hell but seriously, here’s a my honest-to-god reaction of who I saw on screen

· Not a youtuber

· Don’t know

· Despactio guy 1

· Don’t know *3

· Despacito guy 2: electric boogaloo

· Don’t know *2

· Dj boi

· Vannos

· Don’t Know *4 Ft. Lincoln

· Don’t know *3

· Quick flashes of the great unknown

· KSI and his favourite toy (not counting NetNobody’s dick)

· Don’t know *6 (Empire was better)

· Another 3 I don’t know but there is that one guy who screams a lot, think his names guacamole or something

· @rhettandlink and another guy, classic trio

· Don’t know*2

· Don’t know*slime

· Don’t know* rhinestone

· Hey, its @a-kind-ale-war

· Africa – Toto

· Slo mo guys among the dead meme cosmos

· Otherwise, you guessed it, no clue

· Don’t know * field

· Don’t know any of the eclipse crew

· @caseyneistat

· God’ wrath in the form of comets coming to smite us as failed creations

· YouTube Is Shutting Down My Channel and I'm Not Sure What To Do

· His beautiful bastards (nameless in my lack of knowledge)

· 6 zombies that died in obscurity, nameless and unknown, ‘tis a shame

· Why I left Smosh

· The cosmos of people I don’t know

· KSI’s brother

· Poppy

· A DC lawsuit

· Mooooooooorrrrrreeeeee spaaaaaaccceeeee

· A youtube circle jerk of self-righteousness (more on that later)

· People holding hands

· The shitty vine family

· Team 10 bitch who the hell are flipping you

· The other one

· Shitty IG ‘Comedy’ Squad

· Black guys and backpack kid (Note: another good band name, though it needs tweaking)

· @thetomska getting face fucked

· Victims of the great slime massacre (slime control now!)

· Old guy from react

· Don’t know*roof party

· Every teenage girls wet dream/gay ship

· Daniel Keem saying floor is lava

· Lava victims

· A very cold rapper

· Don’t know but has a sword

· More zombie boys

· A cluster of people 2012

· Forehead in the back again (sorry jack)

· @markiplier

· Why I gave the pope Undertale

· A finale of people I don’t know being absorbed by the cosmos

· Neato mosquito animators

As you can see a good majority of the stars I doubt much people know, probably only chosen for the brand friendliness which begs the question…

Exclusions/double standards

A lot of people were excluded from this year’s rewind, which isn’t a surprise in the slightest. This issue was brought up last year as well, but with this year it showcases some hypocrisy with possible reasons to exclude folks. Firstly, KSI, he had the whole beef with NetNobody (the greatest Minecraft youtuber there is) but Netnobody was excluded, it couldn’t be numbers or presence as before retiring, Adam had about 11 million subs, maybe he declined, like most sane people would, or maybe because he neither pulls the views or the family friendly influence that he used to. Its safe to assume Ricegum and IDubbbz got rejected by choice, again sanity, or because of their beef, which is again hypocritical of the site as KSI was allowed on fine and Keem along with the Paul brothers aren’t the angels of Youtube either. Again, it seems YouTube is really trying to push this family friendly goofball persona which is perfect for the weird kids and the cool kids which is true but is only really surface level in the rewind and the reality isn’t really shown otherwise. Also fuck that Nazi racist Pewdiepie amirite ladies?

Hurricane Harvey debacle

I believe this is honestly the most insulting aspect of the rewind. Though it had good intentions it just highlights YouTube’s utter ignorance. Not to pull a PJW but this is dictionary definition virtue signalling. Youtube makes themselves out to be all together, yes youtube, you are the most influential platforms of our generation, cat videos and make-up vlogs can save the world! In all seriousness though this is one of the most botched poorly executed thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m counting HWNDU. For one thing the tone and flow is horrible, the segment is frankenstiened into the middle of the video and puts a halt on the relatively well paced video, and is followed by a radical hip and swaggity dance party yeah! As if the whole was a task by the team and when they were down with it they thought; “right, that’s over with. Back to the fun and cool stuff yeah!” if they kept the pace by putting the thing just before the credits as to highlight the message at the end and while everyone’s lifted by the message they’re treated to the credits and the talents of the wonderful animators. However, that would only make the segment flow correctly as, in my opinion, it comes off as quite nepotistic to big creators. A method they could’ve done is before they filmed or edited anything they could’ve announced to fans and viewers to send in webcam clips and videos of them holding hands in unity or saying unity, showing a UNITY between fans and creators. That said this brings me to my conclusion;

Conclusion

Youtube doesn’t want to be youtube, it wants to be a family and advertiser friendly site for all to come, it wants to be seen as a beacon for ALL internet trends and ideas and it wants to be seen as a user and creator friendly platform. But youtube isn’t this, and youtube hates that. This year has seen the worst year in the sites history for user treatment and contact showing double standards with actual users and companies such as talk show hosts, with things like the adpocolypse rumoured trending tab rigging and trending tab blacklists. Along with this is the, as I said, nepostistic outlook on creators, with youtube success being less and less consistency based and more and more luck based on one video blowing up and staying that way, and trending (along with youtube in general), should facilitate a rise in creators and ideas instead of promoting channels who already have 5-6 million subs and censoring a lot of voice directly or indirectly. With no other options for video site (realistically, nobody uses vimeo or dailymotion and fucking rip vidme) youtube’s current state is more dire than ever and their push for a false identity within an identity crisis for the site is very obvious. This alongside their cowardice and compliance with controversy like in the nazi Pewds situation is showing to be really damaging.

Tl;dr: get a fucking backbone youtube and stop pretending to be something that you’re not.

#youtube #youtuberewind #idubbbz #rant

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