#eddie doesn’t understand why he feels the need to protect the bird with his life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theoniprince · 3 years

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If you had to pick one name/alias/moniker to go by, fandom-wide, what would it be?

Where, besides Tumblr, can people find you doing fannish things? (Obviously only mention sites and usernames you actually want to be found at. Don’t expose your secret identities on my account.)

What other names have you gone by on these platforms, including Tumblr, if any?

When did you join the IT fandom? And what got you into fandom, to begin with?

What are your favorite ships, or characters, if any, and why? What do they mean to you?

In what ways do you participate in fandom? (ex. Posting memes, reblogging/commenting on content, writing fanfic, making fanart, creating fanmixes, etc.)

Do you have any in-fandom inspirations? Other members of the community that drive you? (And if you have the time/energy, in what ways do they inspire you?)

Name and link some of your favorite works, please!

Do you have any works of your own that you feel particularly proud of, or wish more people would’ve consumed? Please provide links if possible.

Have you ever participated in a fannish event (ie. IT Week, a fic Big Bang) or applied to be a part of a fanzine? If so, which ones, and can you please link them?

Without any form of bashing or lashing out, what is something you feel this fandom is missing?

First of all thank you so much for asking me!!! 8D It was a pleasure to answer all these questions. During this I got quite emotional (haha Stanpat, Eddie). It showed me again how much I love this 8DDD

( I apologize in advance for all misspellings and my sloppy English =_=)

If you had to pick one name/alias/moniker to go by, fandom-wide, what would it be?

Oh, what a start XD I'm not that into nicknames. Generally people using my first name to address me or my username which is mostly onyprince (in reference to a character from Hakuouki) ID Sometimes they say Oni or J(ay) (Nickname for my first name). Do as you wish (though I like ‘J’ the th most) 😉

Where, besides Tumblr, can people find you doing fannish things? (Obviously only mention sites and usernames you actually want to be found at. Don’t expose your secret identities on my account.)

Twitter. But everything I post there is also here. Feel free to follow my account, but you don’t have to. https://twitter.com/oniprince_

What other names have you gone by on these platforms, including Tumblr, if any?

Oniprince_ (Twitter) yeah… you see, I am pretty boring XDDD

When did you join the IT fandom? And what got you into fandom, to begin with?

Actually 23 years ago (haha I am old XD) When I was eleven I saw the miniseries with my cousins for the first time. The horror factor wasn't that important to me or maybe I didn't see it that way. It was more like an adventure story with an unfunny and nasty clown. A group of friends who had to endure an adventure. In any case, it entertained me well, even if I was not aware of some elements like that it’s a story about growing up, friendship, love and all these issues around becoming an adult XDD Then with 13 I read the book. It was a new experience, and I loved every single word. Over the years I talked with friends and Kingsianer (XD) about it and read it for a second and a third time. At this point I could start a list with things I don’t like about the movies, but I’d rather mention on thing I really appreciate about them: they are a good opportunity for a new generation to explore this universe. Every adaption like the book itself is a reflection of a specific decade and what is more yeah… immortal, universal and diverse than a story about growing up. It was a discussion with a dear friend about book to movie adaptions some weeks ago that probably brought me back to this fandom

Nevertheless there are things from the book I would have loved to see in the movies. Let’s be honest at this point if you want to adapt such a brick of a book you simply have to cut some elements. You can’t please everyone

What are your favorite ships, or characters, if any, and why? What do they mean to you?

Ships:

Stanpat - orz q__q they are such a sweet couple and it is so heartbreaking, they never ever had a real chance to become parents. They would have been excellent parents. Imagine them on a beautiful summer day. They have a picnic with their children and Stan would watch birds with them. He would tell them all about the birds and keeps a journal about their observations with his kids

Reddie - Despite the constant teasing their realtionship seems like a natural, casual und easy thing from the start. And Eddie likes the nicknames. These secret names are like another identity. He can be someone else. They take care of each other. Their relationship is a deeper friendship that runs mostly on an emotional level and is sometimes expressed through small, physical gestures. The chemistry between them is indescribable. It is cute when 90s Eddie immediately starts to giggle as soon as Richie makes a dumb joke at their reunion. And thing about the little moments when Richie pokes Eddie and calls him cute. I am won’t quoting this one passage in the book that leaves much room for speculations, but there is no doubt their special bond is official. In any case, the decision to make Richie gay in the movies gave the ship another push. I don’t complain. I love it. Though I still think Eddie would have been a better option. There are already some scenes in the book which are like an invitation to speculate about his sexualityTheir chemistry is very obvious and believe me, there is nothing I would more appreciate than a happy end for them Q__Q

Benverly „Your hair is winter fire

January embers

My heart burns there, too

This is one of sweetest things I have ever read in a book and that is all I need to explain why I love this ship.

Fav, Characters: Hmm when I read „IT“ for the first time I had a crush on Bill. He ist the born leader and in my childish, pre-teen way found his stuttering cute. There is something about him that cast a spell on you. It is perfectly understandable that he was a role model and an inspiration for his friends – especially for Eddie. In my personal opinion book!Bill ist the best Bill.

Richie - I love this chaotic megane dude. He is this silly type who use jokes, pranks to protect himself. His voices are like safe heaven (the same goes for Bill, whose stuttering almost disappears, when he pretends tob e someone else). He hides himself and his insecurities behind them. It is a shame that he doesn’t know what an impact he had on his friends. Richie seems to never ever shut up and sometimes his trashmouth is still talking, when he better should be quite. And I am famous to fall for funny characters. He can lights up the mood immediately ( and OMG…. I love Harry Anderson in the miniseries. A real entertainer, BUT BILL HADER…. Bill Hader…just to make it clear BILL HADER did such an amazing job. He rocked the movie and I still think, not just because I love this dude since over a decade, without him… the movie wouldn’t have been so entertaining)

Eddie - He is in these abusive relationships. First with his mother, who keeps him small and makes him believe that he is weak. At the end her own fears of beeing left behind prevented her son from becoming a self-confident adult. Eddie always thought he is weak and fragile. Although he knows that he doesn’t need all this medication, his childhood experience were the reason for his coping-behavior as an adult – he still uses his inhaler. He married a woman who is like his mother. Mike's call was something of a turning point. Until this call Eddie could not overcome his fears and had to face them again as an adult. I can remember. While reading the book there were several moments of silence and I stopped reading and thought: poor Eddie.

Ultimately, his story is about a hero who surpasses himself, overcomes his fears and by sacrifice himself he protects what is most important to him - his friends. It just touched me. Eddie gave his life for his friends and I think you can say he's my favorite character. His death may be a tragedy, but it was necessary for his character arc. My theory is that Eddie represents someone who has lost track in his life and prefer to stick on old but unhealthy patterns.It is almost like Eddie stands for missed opportunities, but at the same time it is never to late to change something. He is a hero. There are so many things I would like to talk about, therefore I should start an own thread XDDD

Oh and Bev - I could always identify with her (not bc of abuse or domestic violence. My childhood was amazing). She is the only girl around the losers and I was the only girl in my favourite clique too. We spent most of our time outside - it was great. Of course I had other friends (female) as well, but with my boys… it was always special).. As you know as an adult she falls back in old patterns. Her husband is tyrannical man like her father. Again Mike’s call is a turning point. Maybe the Benverly arc is the most satisfying. I was… I am very happy that Bev got her happy end.

Last but no least - I like Ben, Mike and Stan too. They have all there unique character treats and you sympathize with all of them. The Loser’s club is bunch of adorable idiots who just doing their best to become adults. I think it is normal that their friendship feels more intimate in the book – I highly recommand the book.

In what ways do you participate in fandom? (ex. Posting memes, reblogging/commenting on content, writing fanfic, making fanart, creating fanmixes, etc.)

Mostly fanarts, but recently I thought about posting my own theories and sharing my hcs and random stuff about the characters and the different relations.

Do you have any in-fandom inspirations? Other members of the community that drive you? (And if you have the time/energy, in what ways do they inspire you?)

The fandom is full of amazing artists and writersand actually it would be a, but i want to name those who inspired me the most (mainly artists – hopefully I copied the links correcty):

https://tonyofthetrees.tumblr.com

https://meowsteryyy.tumblr.com

https://slashpalooza.tumblr.com/ ( you have to check out ‚Loose Ends‘)

https://coldcigarettes.tumblr.com

https://vvanini.tumblr.com/

https://eggocrumbs.tumblr.com

https://twitter.com/10_sgan

https://twitter.com/kasphacked

https://twitter.com/tac_nor

(oh.. the list got longer than expected IDDD)

Do you know this?

https://ragnarozzys.tumblr.com/post/189890790551/those-early-hours-after-a-sleepover-when-you-wake

Have you ever seen something as cozy and cute before I///D? – me neither XD

Trust me they are all worth a visit and I am sure most of us already know them 8D

Do you have any works of your own that you feel particularly proud of, or wish more people would’ve consumed? Please provide links if possible.

My art I provide on tumblr can be found here:

https://theoniprince.tumblr.com/tagged/myart

Honestly I like these the most:

https://theoniprince.tumblr.com/post/649446311120273408/my-first-reddie-sketch-now-scanned-the-quality

https://theoniprince.tumblr.com/post/649548606679007232/close-to-you-now-scanned-with-coloured

https://theoniprince.tumblr.com/post/650697175346593792/hammock-iconic-richie-is-reading-a-monthly

Have you ever participated in a fannish event (ie. IT Week, a fic Big Bang) or applied to be a part of a fanzine? If so, which ones, and can you please link them?

Oh… unfortunately I am not feelin‘ very confident about my own artworks. Sometims I have the feeling I am not creative enough and that my ideas are more or less boring. Nothing special ID Totally dumb – I know. As I mentioned before I came back lately to the fandom… I guess I missed many amazing IT weeks. I participated in some weeks/mainly shipweeks in other fandoms (Yakuza/Ryu ga Gotoku, FFXV) If I find an interesting annoucement I can imagine to participate in the future ; )

Without any form of bashing or lashing out, what is something you feel this fandom is missing?

In general… the fandom is really friendly – I hope so. Lately I have seen some salty comments on different stuff, topics… and well.. I have just an advice: life can be exhausting enough and time is always running. Don’t spend time on things you don’t like. Discussions can esclate quickly and worde can hurt too. So, just thing about before you jump in.

Thanks again! <3

(Special lil sketchy piece of art I did for this ask)

#ask me stuff #personal #it book #stephen kings it #be nice to me #this is my opinion and I like to talk about this stuff

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moonandthesiren · 4 years

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My own It/Losers’ Hogwarts house headcanon

Bill : he’s obviously a Gryffindor. Like he’s the most Gryffindor to ever Gryffindor’d like ever. Is pure-blood but his family are not bigots. His family was ready to adopt Eddie when he ran away from home (Eddie already spends all his summers and Christmas’s there anyway). He’s childhood friends with Stan. Fiercely protective of his friends and his little brother. Is chosen as a prefect and then a head boy. Plays quidditch and is a Chaser. Also has pretty good grades because he’s hard-working too. Is Hogwarts’ Champion in the Tri-wizard tournament. Subject he’s best at is Charms.

Beverly : I see her going one of two ways, she’s either a Gryffindor, because she’s feisty and brave. Total leader material. She just attracts people to her like the sun. Also a prefect and a head girl. She’s also on the quidditch team, is a Beater. Everyone thinks she and Bill are dating and who knows, they totally could’ve been at some point. Or, she could’ve been a Slytherin. She escaped her homelife and her father’s abuse. She’s a survivor. Probably wasn’t a prefect or head girl then though. Always seen with Richie, everyone thinks they’re just a couple of stoned troublemakers but honest to god they mostly just wanted to get stoned in peace. And she’s NOT dating Richie lmao why does everyone keep asking her? But either a Gryffindor or a Slytherin, she’s muggle-born (probably the main reason why the Slytherin headmaster/mistress didn’t want to choose her as prefect/head girl). She’s the best at Transfiguration.

Richie : is a Slytherin. He’s very charming and just has a way of making people simultaneously furious and smitten with him. But he’s an outcast because he’s half-blooded. His mother came from a pure-blood family but ran away to marry a dentist. He would never admit this but he’s secretly a mama’s boy (Eddie knows this very well though). He actually brought weed from his muggle friends and introduce it into Hogwarts. Never seen studying, always gets himself and Eddie kicked out of the library for being obnoxious but is somehow always top of the class. Probably could’ve been the Champion, but honestly he’s too lazy and even more honestly, Bill just looked better as the school’s posterboy. Very good at Charms and Potions.

Eddie : also could’ve gone one of two ways. He could’ve been a Gryffindor, wanting to prove himself strong and independent after breaking free from his mother’s hold, absolutely adores Bill and Bev (nobody knew exactly which of these two he had a crush on, but if anyone ever got Eddie to actually admit it, the answer would’ve been Bill). Or he could’ve been a Hufflepuff (the Hat’s first choice for him). He’s kind, gentle, supportive and loyal to a fault to people in his inner circle. Best friends since childhood with Ben. He’s actually a half-blood to his own surprise, his father was an Auror who lost his life during a mission thus causing his mother to resent the wizard world and tried to convince him he was just a sickly, ordinary boy. Once he found out the truth, he left for Hogwarts and never turned back. Is a very good flyer and is a Seeker. Has pretty good discipline when it comes to studying but needs lots of help from Richie to get decent grades. He’s very good at Herbology though and is Prof. Sprout’s favourite student.

Ben : definitely a Hufflepuff. He’s just so nice and well-mannered and helpful nobody can hate him. Has a huge crush on Bev whether she’s a Gryffindor or a Slytherin that he thinks is unrequited but to be honest he just needs to actually make a move (in the words of Eddie). Wasn’t very interested in getting in the quidditch team but he does play some with the other Losers and actually makes a damn good Keeper (it’s kinda baffling to Eddie because dude you would’ve been a great addition to the team, we need to win sometimes and hey, don’t you want to impress Bev?? I know she was impressed when you blocked all of Bill’s hits that time). Would rather spend his time in the library (he spends so much time there and is on such good terms with the librarians, he doesn’t get kicked out due to Richie’s shenanigans much to the protests of Eddie). He’s muggle-born. Bonds with Mike thanks to History of Magic and Care of Magical Creatures classes.

Stan : this one can’t be mistaken for any other than a Ravenclaw. Total bird nerd. Has 3 owls, one snowy owl named Eos, one barn owl named Iris and one tawny owl named Morpheus. Didn’t bring any of them to school tho because he felt it would be unfair to the other 2 but instead brought his pet munchkin Sniffles. He’s also a pure-blood and has been friends with Bill since wizard kindergarten. Had a crush on Bill since they were third-years too but would never be caught dead admitting that. Is the responsible friend. Ever since he met Eddie they have become each other’s confidant especially when it comes to embarrassing feelings discussions. Often competing with Richie for the top of the class spot. Contrary to his logical and methodical exterior, he’s taken a liking to Astrology and Divination and is rumored to have the Sight.

Mike : could’ve been a Hufflepuff. He’s the kind of friend that can always brighten your day with his kind smile and thoughtful encouragement. He always seems older than his age but not in a jaded, pessimistic way. He’s also a muggle-born. His grandparents don’t really understand the wizard world but are proud of him nonetheless. He didn’t know Ben before Hogwarts but they bonded quickly over their shared love for animals (whether they’re magical creatures or not). Or he could’ve been a Ravenclaw, spending his time debating philosophy with Stan and researching the history of the wizarding world and the Dark Arts, whatever little bit of information he could find. He’s the top of the Defence Against the Dark Arts class. He wants to become an Auror.

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searchforthescars · 4 years

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I actually dare you so hard to write an IT fic bc that shit was made for Siken

Sorry for sleeping on this so long anon - I’ve been in Editing Hell w my own manuscript but I needed to shake the cobwebs off today so dashed this off real quick

AU in which Richie comes out and gets to become the chaotic bisexual we all know he is and also the losers figure it out too I guess? idk I don’t actually know what else this is so just,,,,enjoy, I guess?

CW for internalized bi/homophobia. Poem snippets from You are Jeff and A Primer for the Small Weird Loves.

The boy in the red trunks is holding your head underwaterbecause he is trying to kill you,and you deserve it, you do, and you know this,and you are ready to die in this swimming poolbecause you wanted to touch his hands and lips and this meansyour life is over anyway.You're in eighth grade. You know these things.

You’re used to this panic by now. It doesn’t even faze you...much.

When you feel it next, it’s during the last swim of the year. It’s September, the day before school starts, and the water is cold enough to make Stan and Bill’s fair skin erupt in red splotches, and for your own to goosepimple up in an almost painful way.

Eddie is piggybacking you, legs wrapped around your waist, heels digging into your hips, stomach or wherever else he can grip to keep his balance. Eddie’s wearing those terrycloth red shorts he practically lived in all summer. His mom said he was outgrowing them, so Eddie retired him to the bin in his closet you know are reserved for clothes that are okay to get dirty.

“Richie, hold me up!” Eddie complains, scrabbling for purchase on your bony shoulders. You’ve shot up a good five inches in the past couple months, and no one hates it more than Eddie.

You hooks your arms around Eddie’s, and your heart drops at how close your hands are to Eddie’s thighs, those stupid red shorts riding way too far up for your liking. You can’t keep your eyes away from the contrast between Eddie’s tanned skin and your own sickly-pale color.

You lift your eyes when Bill coughs. You two lock eyes across the quarry. Bill’s clear blue ones are narrowed slightly, his head tilted. You okay? You can’t read minds, but he’s been reading Bill’s face for years.

You nod and let Eddie go with a splash, crowing when the smaller boy shrieks. Eddie springs upright and hauls you back and down by the shoulders, grappling you down to his knees and pushing your shoulders down, down, down until you’re underwater-

And your eyes are open, so he sees it all: the flat planes of your best friend’s stomach, his dexterous fingers and above it all, both in sight and importance, the eager brown of his wide eyes, his messy hair and gleeful smile.

You think, wildly, that you should probably just die now, accidentally, so Bowers and his friends wouldn’t even have a chance. A boy who loves boys in Derry is as good as dead, and you even more so if your friends, your only protection, ever found out. Would they forgive you this? Would they-

Your panic is interrupted when Eddie pulls you up by the arm. “You were just floating down there!” His voice is panicked. You wrap your arm around his shoulder and he sags into you. “I thought- I’m sorry, Rich, I-”

“I’m all good, Eds.” Eddie snorts at the nickname. “Just waiting for you to get enough of attempting to murder me.”

“Shut up, Richie.” His lips curl up. You wish you could touch them. Your thumb burns as if you already have. You duck underwater and swim away, fast, letting out the rest of your inhaled air in a long, low scream.

If It can hear you, you hope It knows there was never any danger of you being brave.

-----

You know how to ride a dirt bike, and you know how to dolong division,and you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unlesshe keeps his mouth shut, which is what youdidn't do,because you are weak and hollow and it doesn't matter anymore.

“What would you do if you liked someone you shouldn’t?”

Your feet skid on the grass, kicking some of it up as you stop your bike and look back to stare at Stan. “What? You found yourself a Gentile girl or something?”

Stan rolls his eyes, shoving messy curls out of his face. Bill noted once that both of your hair, while similar in texture, matched your personalities. Stan’s, while wildly curly, is tightly-coiled and forced into orderliness. Your dark strands are hopeless, a wild mess of waves and curls that no one can ever hope to tame.

“No, Richie.” He’s the same serious kid he was at fifteen than he was as a kid. You’re a little more serious now, too. High school does that to a guy, you suppose, and if you have a prayer of getting into UCLA and getting the hell out of Derry, taking school seriously had to be a priority. You’re not a fan of the seriousness bleeding into the rest of your life, but oh well.

“Then what?”

Stan looks around the Barrens furtively, as if someone’s listening. You roll your eyes. “Come on, Staniel.”

“Not here.” He sets off for the clubhouse, walking his bike when he can’t ride it. You two don’t speak again until you’re underground, the hatch closed. “I mean...what if you like someone everyone would hate you for liking?”

“Stan.” You kick off your shoes and settle into the hammock. “I don’t think your dad is going to care-”

“I think I like boys.”

Stan says it in a rush. His eyes are huge, owlish and afraid. Your heart sinks to the pit of my stomach and sits there.

Even Stanley is braver than you, whispers that voice in your head that sounds like that fucking psycho clown.

“Oh.”

Stan’s shoulders slump. “Is that all you have to say?”

You sit upright in the hammock. Shove your glasses up your nose. “I don’t... It doesn’t matter to me. You’re still my friend.”

Stan’s whole body relaxes, as if his strings have been cut. “Are you sure?”

“Am I- Stan. Come on. It’s going to take more than- Wait!” You lean forward. “Is it Mike? Please say it’s Mike, Eddie’s going to owe me so much money if its-”

“Fine! Yes, Trashmouth, it’s Mike! Happy?”

You whoop, falling back and swinging back and forth. “You’ve made me a rich man, Staniel!”

Stan flips you the bird. You flip him one back. Then, because you’re trying to not be a total asshole, you sit up again. “Thanks. For telling me, I mean.”

Stan gives you a small smile. “Thanks for not hating me.”

Your voice trembles when you speak again and you won’t, won’t, won’t think about why. “I don’t think any of the Losers could ever hate you.”

“Why are we hating someone?” Eddie asks, climbing carefully down the ladder. You obediently slide over when all five-foot-nine of him settles into the hammock beside you.

“We’re not,” Stan says. You smile at him over Eddie’s head.

“Oh. I thought someone was bullying Bill again.” Eddie takes off your glasses.

“HEY!”

“They’re poking my face and I want to nap,” Eddie says imperiously. You hold still as Eddie makes himself comfortable, forehead against your temple and chin on your shoulder. There’s a burning knot coiling low in your stomach. It’s nauseating. It’s thrilling. You never want to feel it again.

But you will. You’ll feel it tonight when you climb in Eddie’s window. You’ll feel it tomorrow when you walk to school with him and he pops open the first button of his shirt to reveal a small strip of collarbone and skin. You’ll feel it the next day and the next and then next. You might even die from it someday.

Could you ever do what Stan did? Throw out such a deep, dark secret into the world and hope it didn’t throw it back at you with enough force to bruise? Could you be that brave?

No. You’re not brave. You never have been.

You time your breathing with Eddie’s. When you inhale, you breathe in coward. When you exhale, you breathe out secrets.

-----

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired.

“Richie?”

Eddie’s not looking at you. His head is leaning against the window of your car and he’s staring out at the dark night ahead of you. It’s summer in Derry, a dry heat and too-quiet nights to keep you company on the drive out to the Hanlon farm, where tents and a movie night await.

“Yeah?”

“I... I need to tell you something.”

Something about his tone strikes you. You pull over and put the car in park. “What’s wrong, Eds?”

He looks over at you, lips parted. His breath comes short. You think about reaching for the inhaler you started keeping in the glove compartment when you started driving. He hasn’t needed it in years, but you hang onto it anyway. Just in case. “I...”

He can’t say whatever it is. You wait. His eyes are impossibly wide, his shoulders heaving with his breaths. There’s color high in his cheeks. You wish, vaguely, like you do every time, that you could kiss him there. Or better, that you could shut off that urge entirely. That would be better.

“Eds.” Your voice is weirdly soft. You don’t even know if Eddie can hear you. “You know you can tell me anything, right? I’ll love you no matter what.”

How many times have you told him you love him? He’s your brother, your best friend, your confidant. Of course you love him. Why wouldn’t you?

Not like that, though, you know it’s not like that, and it makes you dirty and wrong and terrible and-

“I- I love you.”

“I know.” You frown. “I love you too.”

You figure out what he meant a split second too late. His eyebrows knit together, and you understand, and you feel like you’re going to die, or maybe throw up all over this car because “oh. Oh. OH.”

“Forget it.” Eddie sounds miserable. He curls in on himself. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Don’t be sorry.” You unbuckle your seatbelt. Lean forward to touch his cheek. It fits so well in your hand. “Eds. Thank you for telling me.”

Eddie opens his mouth, then closes it. “Bill,” he says instead, pointing out your window. “Behind you.”

Bill is leaning against your car, balancing on Silver. “Are you c-coming or not?” he asks through the glass.

Your heart in your throat, you answer. “Yeah. We’re coming.”

Eddie bolts from the car as soon as you park, rounding the back of the farmhouse in search of Mike and Stan. Bill is waiting for you when you get up to the porch.

“He t-told you.” is all Bill says, but you know he knows.

“Yeah.”

“P-please tell me you weren’t Trashmouth about i-it.”

“Bill, please. Have a little faith.”

Bill sees through your bravado. You know he does. He’s been like your brother since you were born. “Did y-you tell him?”

“Tell him what?”

You’re going to throw up. If Bill knows...If he knows, then you don’t know what you’re going to do. Run, probably. Run so far away your secrets can never catch you.

“Rich.” Bill steps down so you’re eye to eye. He’s not taller than you anymore, but he’s still your Bill. Your leader. Your brother. The almost-man you would follow anywhere. “You’re in love with him. Aren’t you?”

You hate everything about this. The tears in your eyes. The tremor in your hands. The fear that chokes you. The urge to run run run.

But you nod, because you’ll be damned if you don’t try to live up to every ounce of bravery you always tried to instill into Eddie.

Bill smiles. Soft. Fond. “I l-love you, R-Richie.”

He pulls you into a hug. You don’t notice you’re crying until you pull away and his jacket is stained with your tears. “Sorry.”

Bill brushes his fingers through your hair. “D-Don’t b-be s-sorry. Be h-honest with E-Eds.”

As If on cue, Eddie rockets around the side of the house, shouting something incoherant. He bolts past you and Bill, then pauses at the doorway.

“You’re crying, Rich.”

You shake your head. Push up your glasses to wipe your face. He’s even pretty like this, blurred into soft browns and tans, pink and red. “I’m okay, Eds. I’ll tell you later.”

Eddie disappears inside. Bill follows him and, despite the catharsis of crying into your best friend’s jacket, you go around to the back of the barn and puke your guts out.

-----

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.

“Do you hate me?”

You stare at Eddie as if he’s lost his mind. It’s so dark you can’t see him without turning on the car’s dim overhead light. “Wh- Why would I hate you, Eds?”

“Because I’m gay.”

“The- What? No! I meant it, I love you no matter what.”

“Oh.” He sounds so small. You hate it. Eddie Kaspbrak should not ever be small.

You pull over again. The stars glitter above you. Eddie looks up at them and smiles a soft peaceful smile you’re used to wishing you could kiss. “Eddie.”

He hears you breathe his name and looks over. “Yeah, Rich?”

“I...” Fuck. “I love you too.”

The roles are reversed. “I know, you just said- Oh.”

Nothing feels real in this moment. Your body is shaking. Your hands are cold and your face is warm. You want to run. Want to take it back. Apologize maybe, because you’ve ruined everything and a boy who loves his best friend is a dead boy, and It was right, this is why you would go missing or die alone, because you’re wrong and disgusting and-

Eddie kisses your cheek.

“Thank God,” Eddie whispers. “I love you so much, Rich, I thought I was the only one who-”

“Beep beep, Kaspbrak,” you say, leaning forward to kiss him properly, dry lips against soft ones, both of you shaking from fear and relief and probably a little bit of want.

When you pull away, he’s smiling so wide his cheeks might burst. You pinch one between your fingers. “Cute, cute, cute!”

“Shut up, Richie.” He folds up the center console and rests his head on your shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

You sigh. “I was scared.”

Your cheeks light up like a firework when he presses a kiss to your arm through your shirt. “Me too.”

You look down at him, his delicate hand knotted in the front of your shirt, his lashes fluttering against his cheeks. Something in your heart settles into place, clicking like a lock.

“I love you,” you say again, just because you can. Your heart soars and carries you both home.

#idk how to end fic who cares #it #reddie #(that's their ship right? eh)#Anonymous

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beepbeeprichiellc · 6 years

Note

17, 24, 31, 45

17. “Please.”

24. “Are you drunk?”

31. "Are you jealous?”

45. "Make me.”

The fire was well fed, reaching upward towards the sky with outstretched arms. People were scattered throughout the field, huddled in small groups or sprawled out on cars with bodies pressed tightly. The so called event was well advertised, almost the entire body showing up and partaking in the festivities. It had been Beverly’s idea to go, having found a flier pinned on her dorm door, and the others just followed right along. Richie had been forced-well more like dragged-along with his friends, the outing was supposedly going to “cure” his broken heart but all it did was make the hole in his chest ache. Two weeks ago the love of his life had ripped his soul from his body and crushed it under her four inch heels.

So here he was leaning against his truck, loathing in his self pity. Every now and then one of his friends would stop by and console him but would turn tail the moment they realized that they were getting nowhere. Currently he was with Stan, both of them nursing their beer due to having volunteered as the designated drivers. His friend was talking about something unimportant, the words going in one of the trashmouths ears and out the other. Usually, Richie would be a better friend but due to his current break up he was finding it hard to keep up the charade when all he wanted to do was go home and curl up into a tight ball.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Richie blinked, suddenly aware of Stan’s judging stare. “What?” He sputtered, crashing back down into earth with a autiable bang. “I-I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

Stan snorted, “Seriously Rich, you need to get out of this slump. It looks real bad on you.” It was a little harsh, coming from one of his closest friend but it was warranted and sharp. “You’re driving everyone crazy, I know you like the girl but-”

“Liked?” Richie laughed, the feeling painful in his bones. “I loved her! She was the one okay? The one I was supposed to be with forever! You guys just don’t understand, I mean when was the last time you-”

“Choose your next words carefully.” Stan warned, pushing his body off of the truck and turning his body towards him in one swift motion. “I know you are hurt but we are trying your best to help you. For fucks sake Richie we have all been listening to you rant on about Abby but guess what? She was a fucking bitch!”

“Take that back!” Richie hissed, a burning anger bubbling just under his skin. “Take that back right now!”

Stan looked as if he had been slapped, stepping back and breathing fire. “No. She cheated on you with your roommate! In your bed! Why are you still hung up on her? God, Eddie’s been throwing himself at you for years and yet you still chase after these bimbos with an IQ of a rock. For fucks sake you-”

“Eddie’s been what?” Richie cut, shaking the buzz from between his ears. “What did you just say?”

“Uh-” Stan started, swaying slightly in confusion. “What?”

“You just said that Eddie-” But Richie didn’t finish because at that moment Stan bolted, dropping his beer and running swiftly walking through the cars towards the fire where the others stood. Whatever he said then made Beverly punch him in the arm and Mike throw his hands up in the air. It would’ve be considered amusing if not for the sinking feeling it left in the trashmouths gut. Lifting himself from the truck he turned to follow, but stopped the moment a slurred voice called out to him.

“Hey R-Richie, did-did you see that? Stan ran a-away.” Richie turned to watch Eddie giggle into his hand, a half empty beer still in between his fingers. The small boy looked like shit, his usually put together look was torn apart, his clothes askew and his hair a curly mess. When he looked up to Richie his eyes were dulled and distant, a glimmer of pain hidden behind the deep pools of chocolate. “W-what’d you do? Insult his b-birds? You kn-know he’s sensitive about th-them.”

“Are you drunk?”

“Pfft.” Eddie took one final long drink from his bottle, tossing it to the ground beside his feet. “Na, little Eddie Spaghetti can’t party, didn’t you hear?”

The words burned Richie’s ears, it had been an echo of what he had said earlier out of anger. Everyone had been pressuring him to go to the bonfire and Eddie had piped in with his opinion so of course-being the amazing friend he had been lately-Richie bit his head off. “Listen Eds, I didn’t mean to say that. It’s just with the whole Abby thing I’ve been kinda-”

“Please.” Eddie whined, covering his ears. “St-stop talking about th-that whore. I hated h-her so fuh-cking much.” It had been the first time he had spoken bad about Richie’s ex, the words both harsh and loud. “I kn-knew she was no good. I t-told Bill that, jus-just ask him. I said-I said, this girl is going to bruh-break Richie’s heart a-and he s-said that it wa-was none of my buis-business and th-that you had to fuh-fuck up on your own.” He laughed, the dunken sway he had intensifying making him slam into the side of Richie’s passenger side door.

“Fuck, Eddie stop-”

“Make me.” He challenged with determined eyes. “Oh w-wait you can’t! Bec-cause you are too b-busy screwing a-around with everyone e-else to n-notice-” There was no fishing, only giving a heavy sigh and a burp instead. “Whatever, do-doesn’t matter.”

“Eddie?” Richie whispered, “Are you-” Eddie’s head rolled against his shoulders, breaking their eye contact. “Hey, look at me Eds.” The trashmouth reached out, grabbing hold of his friends face rather firmly, one hand on each side so not to hurt him. The action seemingly made Eddie melt, his body leaning against the warm touch. It took all Richie had not to pull away in surprise. “Are you jealous?”

Eddie’s eyes snapped open, his body jerking away as a sense of sobriety washed over him all at once. “N-no, I’m n-not-” He shook his head, stepping away from where Richie stood. “Why would y-you even ask-” There was a snort, a forced chuckle, and a crackle in his voice. “So st-stupid.”

“Is it?” Richie asked, feeling suddenly bare and vulnerable. “I mean ever since I started dating Abby you’ve been distant and then we broke up and-then you were there again, like nothing had happened. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before you-you lov-”

“Shut up!” Eddie yelled, the sudden change in his demeanor making Richie jump. “Sh-shut up okay? Y-you don’t kn-know shit.”

“What don’t I know?” Richie couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t let it go until his friend admitted what they both now knew. “Tell me Eddie, tell me the truth.”

“The tr-truth?” Eddie repeated, the slur dripping from his tounge. “You wa-wanna know th-the truth? The real t-truth?” Tears welled in his eyes, his lip quivering and arms folding inward on themselves. “I’ve b-been standing by fuh-for fifteen years, w-waiting for you to n-notice me and you h-havn’t! I only exist when it’s co-convenient for you! ‘Oh Eds, I l-love Abby, nuh-no Mark, no Ch-Christine”” The names were spat in disgust, right at Richie’s surprised face. “D-did you ever e-even realize? R-realize that I was the o-only one who was th-there to pick you b-back up when those lovers b-broke your heart! N-no matter how bad it hu-hurt I was there!”

“Eds I-”

“Hey, is everything okay over here?” It was Bill, because of-fucking-course it would be. Richie looked around and noticed that the party had stopped, everyone’s eyes turned towards the two of them, obviously noticing Eddie’s screaming voice. The attention burned his skin, but not as much as Eddie’s scorching glare. “What’s going on.” Bill’s hand snaked around Eddie’s shoulders, the protective gesture speaking volume. Eddie leaned into the touch, dropping the eye contact and biting his lip in shame. “Eddie?”

“I wanna go h-home.” Eddie muttered under his breath, staggering backwards in Bill’s arms. “Please, I ju-just wanna-just wanna-”

“Alright.” Bill breathed, pulling his friend close as if to shield him from the trashmouth. “I’ll take you home.”

“No, Eddie don’t go.” Richie whined, reaching out for his friend only to have it fall back to his side when they stepped out of range. “I’ll take you home, please I just want to talk.”

Eddie glanced up once more, the pain in his eyes agonizingly recognizable. “I’m duh-done talking.” And with that he left with Bill, swimming though the sea of people and fading away from Richie’s line of sight. The party staggered onward, leaving Richie in the dust.

Eventually Stan made it back over to him, hands in his pockets and face turned downward. “Yeah, so how’d it go?”

Richie groaned.

#reddie #it #it au #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #prompt

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hiyo-silver · 5 years

Text

Behind Blindfolds

Nobody expected the world to end the way it does until it starts. It was always thought to happen all in one go but instead it drags on for years of feigning really living when all they’re doing is surviving. In this situation maybe, surviving is really losing.

Summary: The babies are born on the same day. Patrick should never have been trusted.

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 + ao3

Taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @rachi0964 @beepbeep-losers@bigbilliamdenbro@jalenrose11@sleepygaybrough@itandstrangerthingsfanfic@boopboopbichie @peachywyatt@aizeninlefox@sockwantstodie @ahoybyeler@yooonbum @coffeekaspbrak@sedanleystanley

The next morning brings what nobody would have expected. New life and the loss of someone else’s, a true example of the circle that life is. Kay feels the early signs of contractions and labor right around when the sun would be coming up and it tells her that she will be in for a long and painful day. She’s been to all the mommy and labor seminars and has done everything she can to prepare, but she still doesn’t feel ready. She doesn’t think any first time moms ever truly feel ready for what’s ahead of them. She doesn’t tell anyone until it becomes unbearable, she simply elects to sit on the couch and sip at a cold glass of water between the contractions she tries to bite back. Eventually she just knows that she’s close enough, and when she gets to that point she decides to tell someone. She doesn’t want to alarm anyone so she just quietly waddles her way to the room where Bill is staying. He’s a leader figure for the group, he feels like a good person to ask for help. She’s more comfortable with Bev, but Bev is still asleep so Bill is the next best thing.

“William,” she says to him in a hushed voice to catch his attention without making a commotion among anyone else. He looks over at her with his big, blueish gray eyes. “I’m having this baby, like right now I think,” she says with a quiet and hurried sense of urgency. She lets out another hiss of pain as another contraction plagues her. Though she’s been trying to avoid this exact situation, a look of panic crosses Bill’s face before he starts shouting what are probably directions to the others but Kay is too deep into focusing on the pain in her lower regions to pay attention to him telling them to get Bev and water and towels. They get her set up on some towels on the bed in the master bedroom to try and prepare her. Eddie sees the baby’s head and nearly throws up then and there so Bill tells he and Richie to leave the room (knowing Richie probably isn’t mature enough to handle a situation like this).

Bev crouches at Kay’s side, letting her hold her hand as tightly as she needs to. Bev has never been in the room while someone gives birth before, it’s an interesting and unique experience. Kay almost likes the pain, able to feel her pulse nearly everywhere in her body, it’s empowering. It’s almost funny how people used to tell her to “grow a pair” when balls can be so fragile but a vagina can expand enough to let out another human being and still heal and return to normal. It reminds her just how powerful and resilient she is, she really needed something like this.

“Oh m-my God I s-see the head,” Bill stammers out, ready to help any way he is able to. He’s never done something like this but the videos in eighth grade health class are bound to be enough, right? Before Kay can push again to further how far out the baby is, Beverly tries to bite back a scream of her own. They’d had similar due dates, but they think that fate decided that their kids needed to be born on the same day. It’s a stressful miracle.

She can’t hide it that easily, soon assuming a similar position to what Kay’s been in. They hold each other’s hands so tightly that they feel they might break, their groans and screams sounding like some sort of off key duet. The labor and delivery process is a complete blur for all of them from there. Bill cuts the umbilical cords and presses the babies to their moms’ chests. The screams of Beverly and Kay are replaced by those of the infants, it’s a surprisingly serene feeling despite how loud it is. Beverly has a little boy. He seems to have Tom’s nose, but most of Beverly’s other features. Kay has a little girl, a seemingly more healthy baby than Beverly’s little one, probably because of how much more Kay had paid attention to her pregnancy from the beginning, she’d also been under less stress than Bev has been.

Patrick is downstairs, alone. He pulls out his sketchbook again. It’s so much easier to leaf through and admire when the lights are on. He’s drawn that thing, It. He finds it beautiful. The perfect subject of his art and of most of his thoughts. Though he doesn’t think drawings really do It any justice. He longs to see it again, and he realizes that there’s nobody to stop him. He jumps up and rips the cardboard from over the windows, letting the sunlight penetrate the glass and into the home. He just wants to share it, with all of them, it’s the most wonderful thing the human eye can ever witness.

He sees the birds in the small cage in the room, he doesn’t want them to escape, these annoying creatures in his opinion. They don’t deserve to see it. He covers the cage with a thick blanket, laughing at the panicked chirps that erupt from them.

Stan watches part of this though the window in the door to the garage. He pounds with his palms against the door in his sudden fury, “Hey! What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Cover the windows before we all fucking die!” he yells, straining his vocal cords to sound more intimidating with his commands, while also keeping his eyes shielded to try and protect himself. He knew he had a bad feeling about this guy, and he’s almost filled with a sort of spiteful relief to know that it wasn’t just his own selfishness.

Patrick only turns his head to face him with a maniacal smile that he’ll never forget. His eyes are blank, he’s completely expressionless besides the creepily wide grin. His eyes trail over to the button on the counter that closes the garage. The lightbulb in his mind brightens. He grabs the small remote and prompts the garage to open to let the light stream in. He watches as Stan dies and he can only shrug to himself. Guess he doesn’t understand true beauty, Patrick thinks. The next mission is to go upstairs and show the others, it’s his duty as someone who’s seen the light.

He almost runs up the stairs, giddy with the excitement of the fresh sighting. Richie and Eddie are simply sitting on the floor in the hallway with their backs against the wall and their hands intertwined. They hardly hear Patrick, he’s rather light on his feet for such a tall and lanky man. They hardly notice or acknowledge him until he starts to rip down the cardboard, he ignores their screams and cries for him to stop, they wish the hall didn't have a window at all. They try to cover their eyes but it doesn’t do them much use. They’re still holding hands when their bodies hit the floor. Patrick hears the babies’ cries from the master bedroom and that’s the motivation he needs to go in there, opening the door and stepping inside.

In the bedroom, Kay and Beverly lay side by side on the bed with Bill sitting with his legs hanging over the edge of the bed. The three of them talk softly. Patrick watches the soothed scene in his manic awe. They’re happy, but he thinks he can make them even happier by showing them what he knows. He smiles at them as sweetly as he can, noticing how he’s worrying them with his look. “Babies,” he says in a soft tone, drawing nearer to them. They don’t tell him not too, though Kay gets very visibly uncomfortable when he strokes the hairs on her daughter’s head.

“I have to bless them,” Patrick says, not stopping and then shifting his hand to Beverly’s son’s head. They think he’ll be done there. Maybe this guy is a religious figure of some sort and thinks this is somehow meaningful. But instead he pulls away as suddenly as he’d come into the room. He walks his way to the window, starting to pick at the tape on the edges. When the girls notice it they throw the blankets over them and their children for protection.

Bill springs up from his spot, it seems like he’s abandoning them but really he’s on a mission to find the gun, the same one they’d scolded and punished Stan for aiming at Patrick only a day before. Patrick really does pull all the tape off successfully, the cardboard falling and the light pushing into the room like how it had filled the hallway only minutes before this. Though nobody but him knows it until Bill sees Richie and Eddie there. He wants to break down crying but he knows he can’t leave Beverly and Kay alone and defenseless with their children.

Patrick is very obviously upset about them all avoiding to look at what he loves more than anything. “Hey! Look! It’s beautiful,” he says in an airy and excited voice, gesturing wildly. He wants to show them more desperately than he’s ever wanted to do anything in the world. It doesn’t phase him to see the aftermath when it sometimes makes people die. It’s like when he was a kid, he’s numb to it at this point. He goes over to the bed, yanking at Kay’ side of the blanket because she’s closer to him and the window than Beverly is.

Beverly already goes to grab Kay’s baby from her. She doesn’t know why she does, it’s completely instinctual. Like her brain decides that if she can’t protect Kay as easily she needs to protect her child. She eventually gets the infant pried away from her friend as Patrick exposes her to the light. She’s crying, sobbing really. She’s grown so much to love Kay and feel comfort in her presence. And she can hear her now best friend hit the floor after seeing what she shouldn’t have. She didn’t deserve that fate by any means. Kay proved herself to be a kind soul and one of the most interesting people Beverly has ever talked to. She’ll never forget the time she’s known her.

Bill comes racing back in as Patrick starts tugging at the blanket to get Bev and the screaming infants. He’s blindfolded so he can’t see the windows and he’s holding a handgun from the basement an arm’s length away from his body, he’s not used to the idea of shooting with intent to kill, especially not a human being. He’s not a hunter but he has tuned his ears better to about everything, so he uses Patrick’s movements to find where in the room he is. He shoots once and he misses, and misses two more times before he hears the thud. Bev is too busy crying to know, so when he comes behind her under the blanket so he can remove his blindfold and make sure that she’s okay. She squirms and tells him to leave her alone, bringing back bad memories.

He stops as soon as she seems to be upset, “It’s m-me, Bill, are you hurt?” he asks, and she turns to him, trying to wipe her tears away and loosen the grip she has on the kids now that she assumes they’re safe if Bill is being so much calmer.

“No, not really,” she says with a hiccup over her words, having gone through a traumatic day. Before they can even cover the windows again, they both end up asleep completely under the safety of the blanket, unable to stay awake due the shock and exhaustion, their minds and bodies need a break.

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