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imlivinginyourtrashcan · 4 months

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haha so prison of plastic, right?

I made an au for it. Its a swap au, but I swap both people and epithets! In this au, Molly has the Epithet Augment. She uses the Dream Bubbles/Illusions to make her own little worlds in an attempt to cope, when something doesn't go her way, she throws a fit about it, as any spoiled child would. Using her tears in order to get what she wants, it often works because her Mom doesn't want to hear her scream. Here's a small, improved excerpt from the au:

The archer positioned her bow, ready to fire the arrow into the large Hydra's echoing heart, her attack echoed throughout the land.

"PIERCIIIIIING URRRRSAAAA!"

...ly..

"NOOO!" The hydra's three heads wailed

"That is the attack of the ancient one!" Said one

"It will surely kill us!" Said another

...olly!...

The archer smirked like how they did in those cool cartoons. "THIS! IS FOR ALL THE VILLAGES YOU'VE FLOODED! AND FOR THE FAMILY YOU'VE TORN APART!!! THE ONE WATTERLOGGED BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

"Molly!"

An echo punched through the funtime fantasy world

"Ughh! Not now not now! I was just about to beat him!!"

She whined, impaitently tapping on the ground quickly with the tips of her toes.

The fantasy rippled, swirled and soon seperated, nothing but a fog now. Lorelai Blyndeff sticking her head through it all.

"Molly! You were on dish duty! You can't just bail like that!"

Molly turns her whole body to face her sister, who's head was poking through her Dream Bubble.

"LOOOOOORIIIIII!!! Go away! I was just about to slay the Honeyed Hydra!!!!"

She hissed, nearly screaming as she swatted her away like a disgusting bug on the windowsill. Causing her archery outfit, bow and magic attack to disappear into a fun dip like powder.

Molly Blyndeff, Lorelai's brat of a little sister. She's spent half their life after their Dad's death crying and whining to get whatever she wanted, and if she didn't get it, she'd make more of a fuss than she was brewing. Lorelai could see through her obvious manipulation of the people's heartstrings and has tried to call her out on in on SEVERAL occasions. But she can't win the fight against Molly's puppy eyes, she'd often grin at Lori before calling for their mother and claiming that she was being mean to her when she really was trying to shape her away from being a spoiled brat. Alas, their mother is too swayed by the puppy eyes and crying to take Lorelai's side.

"You've been playing for THREE HOURS, Molly. C'mon, Mom said its your turn!"

Molly grumbled, she can't use her tricks on Lorelai, since she can see right through her. Nor can she seek the help of her Mother, knowing that there's a chance he could take Lorelai's side. She crossed her long sleeves over each other,

"You're so mean to me, Lori! I can never have fun! All you do is ruin everything!"

Ah, the perfect tactic, guilt tripping. If she can't get any help, she'll pin the blame on the person 'ruining everything'.

"Nice try, Bear Cub, I'm not doing the dishes for you this time, I've got things to do too"

"UGHHHHHH!!!!" Molly grinned, falling to the floor dramatically the entire time she did.

Lorelai stared in disbelief at the little girl Molly was growing up to be, she stepped fully into the Dream Bubble, the scenery fogging away wherever she stepped. She lightly kicked Molly to get her to snap out of her rage fueled funk.

"Get up, no matter how much you pout, you still have dishes to do."

"NO!!!! No no no no no!"

Molly screamed back in rage, snapping her head up and kicking her legs. She stopped briefly only for the bear to be unleashed again,

"JUST GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!! YOURE RUINING MY LIFE!!!!"

Lori wasn't going to let some brat kid boss her around, she was going to say something, though she couldn't get it out before a screaming and crying Molly was pushing her out of her customized safe space. Then, out the door Lorelai was, hearing a click behind her. She knew what that meant, so she turned around and pounded on the door.

"HEY!!!"

BANG BANG BANG

"MOLLY!!!!"

...

Now for Lorelai! Now she has the Epithet "Dumb", like Molly in the actual show/book. You know what it is, now for another excerpt!

"Uhhhhhh... guys?" Lorelai called

"What? You find somethin?" Giovanni called back

"Yeeeeahhhh..."

Giovanni and Rick trotted over, with Giovanni shoving Rick out of the way in order to see what Lorelai had found.

Lori found a dead body.

Or, at least that's what it appeared to be, the most notable thing about the body, aside from it appearing dead was the jingling bells decorating her hair. Most of the jelly fish had wriggled their way into the bells on the bottom, the rest all laying beside her in the sand, ready to sting her at any second.

"Is she... truly dead?!?!?!" Rick shivered, not even able to comprehend the thought.

"Not sure" Lorelai replied back, looking at him, and then to the dead looking girl.

"AHHH!!!" He squeaked, unable to handle this situations severity. But to be fair, who would be? "No-one can know about this" Finishing his words with a disturbingly grim tone, he starts rushing toward the body in a cartoonish run. He bends over to pick it up before Giovanni stops him.

"Wait wait wait wait!"

"WHAT?!?"

Rick shouted back, still halfway bent down to drag the body back into the ocean.

"We should see if she has anything valuable! It's like a video game! Ya gotta loot every dead guy, gal, or nonbinary pal ya find!"

"HAH!" Rick barked, already sweating buckets, as he faces Giovanni "If you'd like to get arrested, perhaps!" He turns back to the body, going to grab for it "Your finger prints will get all over it that way!" in a twist of irony, he latches his arms onto the body.

Giovanni snrks, "Y'know you'll get your prints on it if you grab it too, yeah?'

Rick gasps, dropping the body's lifeless arm, looking at his hands as if he HIMSELF had committed the murder.

"You're right!"

Rick falls down onto the sand like an anime character, burrowing his fists harshly so that they make two fist sized craters in the sand. He begins to cry big dumb tears

"I'm going to the penthouse!" Rick wails, letting out a squeak at a pitch only dogs can hear. "Please, dear friends! Bail me out!"

"Psssh, Rick, you're such a weenie."

Giovanni grabs a stray stick from the beach and pokes the body with it as to not get his hand prints on the body like Rick did. She was surrounded by jelly fish as if it were rocks on around the pond.

"Huh! Well wouldja look at that!"

He chirped, eye brows a good distance away from his eyes.

"Looks like you win Lori!" He says, tossing the Apple Cider flavored lip balm over to Lorelai. Suddenly the body sprouted to laugh, coughing up a jelly fish that had crawled its way down her esophagous

"Haugh-ha-ga-ha- w- win!?"

Rick perked his head up and The trio instinctively screamed

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

The body screamed right back

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"ZOMBIE!!!!" Rick shrieked, backing away in fear, picking up the stick that Giovanni had tossed away once he saw the body sprout back like a plant someone thought was going to die.

"Zombie?!" The body replied, twirling her head around rapidly, jelly fish being flung from her hair at intense speeds. The trio quickly ducked to avoid the potential of being stung. "Where?!?!"

She quickly got up and started throwing her hand swiftly as if she were throwing several baseballs, Lorelai took notice of what came out of the small girls hand as she jingled through each attack. "Hm!" she remarked, staring at her hand. "Well, that's quite troubling! Perhaps this is a surface interference, from the surface world! That would make the most sense!"

Giovanni got up from his crouching position, getting hit in the face with a jelly fish. Thankfully, it was long dead and didn't sting him. He slid it off his face.

"Hey, wait a sec, this chick ain't a zombie! Way too much skin! Look, I get zombies CAN have skin and all but that's only if they're fresh, and I'm guessing that she's been there for a while. So my conclusion is THIS!!!"

Giovanni did an over the top point to accentuate his reveal.

"SHE IS CLEARLY.... A GHOST! A... magic- GHOST! YEAH! Or- or the reincarnation of a Sheep Jellyfish hybrid! A SHELLYFISH!!! HAHA!!!! I know your secret now LADY!"

The lady put a hand to her mouth, chuckling inaudibly into her hand. "You're quite a funny one, Mister bright hair!" She twirls around towards them, putting her hands together with a bright smile. "I am no Shellyfish zombie-ghost! I..... am a magical girl!" She did a Sailor Moon esc pose, the trio stared at her in disbelief.

No-one thought she was serious.

The girl panicked "Uh- uh- uh- HERE! Let me show you!" She twisted her whole body back and flung forward an invisible force like a boomerang. When she saw that nothing had happened, she tried again. Lorelai did notice a small string of black energy coming out in a faded boomerang position, before poofing away pathetically. She didn't say anything, knowing the kid probably just wanted to impress a bunch of people older than she was.

The newly revived little girl was around 12 years old, which, when around a group of 17 year old's was practically the same as being a baby. The "magical girl" was pale, with eyes bluer than the ocean itself. Her blonde hair decorated in little bells, accompanied by a tattered pink dress with now dirtied white fluff in other areas. She nervously chuckled

"Ahahaha! C'moooon magiiiiiic! Work! Work o pretty please work! A bunch of adults are watching!"

She mumbled to herself in desperation, but alas, her magic did not cooperate. She wailed in shock,

"WAHHHH-HAH-HAAA?!? What?!? But- It usually WORKS!!!! What is going ON today?! Are my friends not friending?! I NEED ANSWERS!!!"

The little girl stomped over in the most non threatening way possible.

"Excuse me, kind older folk! Would any of you care to be my friends?" She batted her eyes innocently. Giovanni immediately shut her down

"Nuh uh kid, no way"

"Awwww... why not?!"

"Because you're like, a baby, and we're like, way older than you? And it'd be really weird for a bunch of 17 year old's to hang around a kid???"

"Haha! Wow! Owie! Ow! Owchie!" The girl forced out a chuckle, putting her hands on her hips to distract herself from the fact she felt like crying big stupid tears. "I- I'll have you know I am VERY mature for someone who is 12 years of age!"

Rick stepped out from his friends, "Hold on, you, you said you're magic, correct?"

"Yes! Indeed! I am a Magical Girl, after all!"

"Perfect! How fortunate! HAHAH!" Rick echoed a belly laugh, grinning somewhat creepily at her, making her kind of regret ever meeting him. Lorelai tapped Rick on the shoulder.

"Rick, you're doing the thing again."

"Haha! Oops! Sorry!"

Rick now smiled in a more normal looking way, "My name is Rick Shades, the XV of the Shades clan! I assume you've heard of us?"

"Nope!" Exclaimed the magical girl with innocent pride, Giovanni snickered again which made Lori elbow him. Rick felt like he could turn to stone at any moment, but continued with his tale.

"The people in my family are MOST powerful witches and wizards! Every five years, the oldest heir is destined to do BATTLE with the UNHOOOOOOLY PUPPETEER!!! And if we do not... we must prepare for the ENDDDD!!! The adventurer must pick up a faithful knight!"

Rick gestures to Lorelai, "A skilled alchemist" he gestured to Giovanni. "As well as a Tanky sort of fellow, to take the hits for us, as well as a skilled, wise mentor!" Rick put his hands on his shoulders, bending down to the girl's height.

"Would you perhaps be interested?"

The girl pondered the thought, humming. Lorelai had quickly picked up on the 'Rick is being a weirdo' signs, dragging him and Giovanni away. She never blamed Rick for his lack of social skills, ability to pick up on social cues or discomforts with large crowds. She knew he never got out much when he was young, but sometimes she has to put her foot down when he's doing something the public could perceive as weird, such as trying to build a friendship with a 12 year old when you're way older.

"Oh... oh no... sorry to put a stop to this but- we gotta go! Oh- oh nooooo...We- we got a class! And... we REALLY don't wanna miss it... oh nooooo"

"W- wait! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!!!!" The little girl shrieked, quickly running up to them, skidding with a halt. "Shouldn't you keep me in your fun fun friendship magic circle? Y- you know?? In case you need me to- to mentor you?????"

"Hmmmm..." Rick thought about it, squinting through his dorky looking shades. "Well, that make sense!"

"RICK!" Lorelai protested, but it was too late.

"Very well! My name is Phoenica Fleecity! Shall we be..." She extended her hand. "Friends?"

"Indeed we shall!" Rick held her palm with the awareness of a dog about to eat a brownie, Lorelai and Giovanni had both tried to stop him, and ultimately failed. The sky tore asunder, several amounts of black shadow sheep extended in tidal waves, circling the two with loud jingles.

JINGLE

BAAAA

The sheep fell onto each other, the two sets forming into arrows, one piercing Rick's chest, and the other piercing Phoenica's.

"The pact... has been sealed! Hehehee..." Phoenica chuckled into her hand, face contorting into mischief, the mischief erupting into madness and lightning crowded around the group. "Heheheeh....hahaha...AHAHAHHAH!!!" The last laugh came out in a squeak, then her hands came behind her back, pushing herself to and fro in a sway, stopping with her toes off the ground, tilting her head with a smile. "Pleasure to meet you!"

Baaa

The world was as it had been previously, not a person in sight on the beach. It was only those four,

"Wait.... did that actually just happen?" Lorelai thought aloud to herself.

"Now now now!" Phoenica removed her hand from Rick's grasp, raising it daintily like a private school girl. "Would anyone else like to shake the hand of friendship?" She asked, waving her hand robotically.

Giovanni and Lori quickly stepped back, trying to maintain a safe distance from Rick in case Phoenica had cursed him.

"R...rick?" Lori uttered in discomforted fear. "You uh... you okay there, buddy?"

"I... feel... AMAZING!!!" Rick jumped up, running around, kicking and squealing like a kid who had just gotten the latest gaming console, stopping dead in his tracks beside Phoeinca.

"After all, I had gained a new friend! Phoenica Fleecity!"

Phoenica nodded to confirm that they were indeed friends "Indeed! We are the friendy-ist of friends! Bound by the soul! Soul-MATES, if you will!"

"HA!" Rick barked, throwing his head back with his hands on his waist, tilting his head back down. "Friendshaped AND hilarious! Its a two in one deal!"

Giovanni scrunched his face. "Kid, work on your phrasing"

Phoenica tilted her head sideways like a puppy who you had just told was bad, but didn't understand why. "Huh?" she gasped. "Ohhhh! No! no no no no! Nothing at ALL Like what you're thinking! He's like, fourty anyways!" She waved off whatever thoughts we were thinking, Rick felt as though he actually got stabbed with the shadow arrows this time, falling to his knees again, pressing his hands into the sand.

She clasps her hands, gleefully turning to Rick "Well then, I suppose since we *are* friends, I can tell you my secret!" She turned back to face the others "My Epithet is... Soulmates! Meaning, I keep all my mates, or, friends, as is most commonly said riiiiiiiiiight here!"

She points to the right side of her chest, the wrong one. Giovanni raised an eyebrow.

"Your chest?"

"Oh no no no!" Phoenica shook her head "My heart!"

"Your hearts on the other side"

"Oh!" Phoenica looked down, realizing her mistake before quickly fixing it. "They're kept right here!"

"So, what? Is Rick like...in a friendship cage or something?"

"Nnnnnnope! Just means that I can do, what HE can do! Observe!"

She skipped eagerly over to Rick, bending towards him. "Mister Rick Shades, what can you do?"

Rick pondered over it before Lorelai dragged him back towards herself and Giovanni quickly before he could stupidly get himself caught in a situation nobody wanted to deal with.

"Rick, don't. Y'know all those Ztreet Zmartz for Kidz videos they showed us? I think NOW is as good a time as any to start puttin' em to use"

"What is a Ztreet Zmartz?" Rick batted his eyes

Lori groaned, oh right, Rick was homeschooled half his life. "Basically safety PSAS warning us about strangers."

"Ohhh!" Rick's eyes widened at the realization, falling closed in laughter as he shook his head, opening them back up. "But Phoenica is no stranger! She is my new friend!"

"YES INDEED I AM A FRIEND!!!!" Phoenica screamed. "YOU CAN TRUST ME!!!! I AM INCREDIBLY TRUSTWORTHY!!!!!!!"

"Don't worry! I believe you!" Rick shouted back, worming his way out of Lorelai's hands, Lori couldn't help but face palm at his stupidity as he paced around, trying to discover what he was best at.

"I'm quite good at school work! The best, even! Dispite being homeschooled for so long! I'm great at it!"

Phoenica laughed along with Rick's claims, she had no idea what schoolwork was, but she didn't want her newest buddy chum chum pal friend buddy chum chum chum pal to think she was uncool. Rick shimmied his bookbag off of himself, grabbing out last nights homework, holding it up dramatically like Macbeth would a skull. "BEHOLD!!!! THE DREADED ALGEBRA II!!!" he bellowed, passing it to Phoenica. He had also handed her a pencil, "Here! You try!"

Phoenica nodded, scribbling a few nonsense numbers as if she were on auto pilot, giggling the whole time like a gremlin being fed after midnight. She soon finished, passing it back to Rick with a smile. "Done!"

Rick took the paper, and Phoenica began her monolouge.

"Now you see! That challenge for Hi....skewl...ers.... would've proven too much! But, with the power of Soulmates, friendship, and MAGIC! I got it done in a matter of seconds!" She clapped "Thank you Rick for bestowing your mathly knowledge onto me!"

Rick gasped dramatically, gripping the paper. "You- you used my knowledge to do this! Thats- thats CHEATING!" he stood up, pointing a finger. "You're a cheater cheater pumpkin eater! I cannot be friends with a girl who PUMPKIN EATS!"

Phoenica gasped, a tear starting to fall. The sky tore open again as the arrows reversed out of their hearts, reverting back into sheep that scuttled back into the sky. "NOOOOOOO!!!!" Phoenica wailed, burying her shameful cheating cheating pumpkin eating face into her hands. "MY KNOWLEDGE!!!! WAHHHHHH!!!"

A kitchen timer went off in Giovanni's head, causing him to laugh "Wait? Your- Your weakness is people- NOT being friends with you?! Hah... huh ha... huh HAHAHAHAHAHA!! OH MY GOD THATS RICH!!! HAHAHAH!!! WHAT A DORK!!! HAH!"

Lorelai harshly jabbed his arm with her elbow, making him yell out an "OWWWW!!". Lorelai couldn't help but roll her eyes, Phoenica whimpered as she stared at her now wet hands.

"Is this why all my previous friends had stopped friending?! Is it because I am a... pumpkin eater?! Why didnt anyone TELL me! I would've stopped eating pumpkins right away!! Now everyone's ignoring me!!!" She sobbed heavily, falling to her knees.

Rick couldn't help but feel bad, coming to her side and wrapping an arm around her, he was crying to.

"Oh, Phoenica! I am SO terribly sorry! It just..." He sniffled "I HATE cheaters, you know? They grind my gears so hard that I can't think! But... if you vow to never use your knowledge for cheating... I would be honored to call you friend!"

Phoenica gasped, wrapping both arms around Rick and squeezing him as tight as she could. "Rick!!!!! My dearest surface friend! I pinky winky promise to never EVER cheat again! If I break this promise then..." she whiped her eyes, looking into his with complete sincerity. "You have all the right to break my pinky!"

Rick looked touched, starting to regain his smile "Phoenica..." he fully accepted her hug. "That is all my heart ever wanted to hear!"

The sky ripped apart like paper, the sheeps returning, forming one big arrow that pierced through them both. Phoenica shot up, deciding that her crying time was over!

"Nooooow! Have you two changed your minds???? Would you still like to be friends?!?!?!? Please??? Pretty please???"

"Uhhh.. yeah no I'm good." Giovanni steps back

Lorelai also steps back, "Me too, sorry kid."

Phoenica looked absolutely heartbroken, before shaking her head. "Uhh... well... what about the winny thingy?

"Winny thingy?" Giovanni asked

"Win! Winner! Wining! Something something something you win! That's what you guys were saying when I woke up! What is the game? What is there to win? CAN I even win? Oh, I bet I could win anything and everything ever! Please please please let me win something! Then we can all be friends and skip along with the sheep in the clouds!" Phoenica begged desperately, clasping her hands together.

Lorelai raised a brow. "You sound kinda desperate."

"I AM!!! Thank you for noticing!"

"That... isn't a complement..."

"Oh! Then UN-Thank you for noticing!"

Gears shifted in Giovanni's head as she tried to figure out what this silly little bell ridden girl was talking about, then it hit him, like a homerun at a big league baseball game.

"Ohhhh! You mean the prizes!" Giovanni snapped a finger, grinning excitedly "We were taking a buncha these jelly fish an' throwin' em back in the sea! Whoever finds the most, throws em back in the ocean without gettin' stung wins! Oh! An' if you find a cool thing WITHOUT a metal detector, you get extra points! Whoever's got the most points gets a little treat!"

Not even a moment after the words escaped Giovanni's lips, Phoenica was running around the beach. She tossed jellyfish after jellyfish back into the sea, occasionally getting stung. She would sometimes find a trinket only SHE thought was cool and stuff it into the pockets of her worn out dress. She soon came back to the trio, huffing wildly like a runner who had just crossed the finish line last in a marathon.

"I've tossed 164 jelly fish back, got stung 35 times and found 52 cool trinkets!"

Phoenica took what was in her pockets out of them, what she collected was mostly shells, seaweed, and coins. She put them back in her pockets with puppy eyes.

"Does that mean I get a treat now? I'm afraid I haven't eaten in days!"

"DAYS?!?!?!" The trio shouted with concern, all starting to scrounge through their stuff, except for Rick who was running around and screaming in a panic.

To no avail, all Giovanni had was an old empty thermos of Soup. It was stained from the time he tried to mix a bunch of Soups together with smoothie logic. Spoiler, it didn't taste good and he threw up afterwards.

Lorelai took out the lip balm she had recieved, Phoenica's eyes locked on it.

"Whats that? Is that the treat? Can I have it? Can I? Can I?"

"Uhhhh...." Lorelai looked down at the lip balm, extending it out. "This is a lip balm..."

"Haha! Wowie! Never mind then! Don't want to explode! Haha! Ha! Ha!" Phoenica was sweating again.

Lorelai shook her head, "No no no no" she unscrewed the cap to show her, speaking slowly like you would an alien in a movie. "Baaaaalm.... Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalm, with an LLLLLLL. Its like, lip stuff you put on your lips"

"Wow! Smells yummy! Thank you!" Phoenica knelt down, chomping down on the balm. Regret set in for her immediately as she coughed, it shot down her throat in seconds. "MMMM!!!! BADDDDD!!!!" she cried.

"NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT SWALLOW THAT!!!" Giovanni butted in, grabbing Phoenica by the shoulders, tears streamed down her face quickly. "Too late!!!! ITS ALREADY IN MY TUMMY!!!!"

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Rick dramatically fainted like a goat, clutching the sand like a blanket. "My friend is going to die..."

"IM GOING TO DIE?!?!" Phoenica gasped.

"No! No! Nobody is going to DIE!" Lorelai tried to reassure, but it was hard with a child and someone who was nearly an adult crying in unison. Giovanni started to panic and rummage through Rick's backpack for literally ANYTHING to drink. All he found was an old potion he had given him.

"Is... is that a drink?" Phoenica asked meekly "I haven't drunken anything in days! Well... besides Salt Water! Oh goodness! I believe it *is* the end!"

"DO NOT SAY SUCH DRIVEL, PHOENICA!" Rick shouted.

"Rick, others, we are friends...correct?" Phoenica strained sadly, like a sick kid on a TV show.

"Uhhh... pretty sure?" Lorelai hesitated

"Please.... do not let me die."

Phoenica ragdolled onto the sand, panic began setting in for the trio as they scrambled like headless chickens trying not to squawk in fear.

...

Hope you enjoy!!! :D

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