#err little cameos from

[hmm-paper-clip]

wip of a s2 teens lineup/desktop background bc i have been so fixated on stardew valley i forgot the finale is coming out TOMORROWW dangitt !!!! and some spare doodles ^_^

norm from 52 ^

jodie and baby taylor ^ bc i desperately wana think hes a nice grandpa .. and i thought nicky mentioned him visiting ?? idk. :(

and also a cass and baby taylor ^ he makes me sick

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #dndads fanart #dndads s2 #taylor swift dndads #taylor swift not that one #lincoln li wilson #scary marlowe #terri marlowe #terry marlowe #personally a terri believer #normally oak swallows garcia #normal oak #hermie unworthy #hermie the unworthy #guys they make me SICK !!!!! ill miss them forever #err little cameos from #cassandra swift #jodie foster dndads #I LIKE HIM SOOOOO MUCH I WISH HE WAS NORMAL !!!! I WISH HE WAS JUST A FUNNY GRANDPA #sighhhh its ok #ALSO ONE NOTE i drew scams horns as like antannae once. like a walky talky. i liked it #like howww elseee did he call the dads... so i might give one to herm #also so undecided on normals design (mostly hair) and which joker to use for herm .. 2019 is fine but objectively lego could be so funny

[amorest-viesse]

[ETERNAL GOD] - Haruto Asuka SR Card Story Translation

Ft. Haruto, Madoka, and Shift with cameos from Tsuzuru, Reni, and Oruto

A Playwright's Observation Diary (Haruto Ver.) - Chapter One

Tsuzuru: Right, once again, thanks for collaborating with me on the play. I really appreciated the opportunity.

Madoka: The feeling is mutual. Thank you for everything as well.

Tsuzuru: I wanted to talk more at the closing party, but the atmosphere made me a little tense, so I could barely get my words out as it was.

Tsuzuru: That’s why I’m glad we had a scriptwriter-only party today to celebrate our collab. 

Madoka: I agree. I wanted to talk to you as well, so I’m glad we met up again.

Madoka: Like I said at the party…

Madoka: I was able to learn a lot from you while co-writing “Twin Kingdoms," so it ended up being a lot of fun.

Tsuzuru: I wholeheartedly agree. It was a great experience for me too, and I also had a lot of fun during the process.

Tsuzuru: There were so many times you caught me off-guard with your ideas. It was exciting watching you come up with scenes and lines I never would've imagined myself. 

Tsuzuru: In the end, I pulled a lot inspiration from you.

Madoka: I thought your contributions were incredible as well.

Madoka: I can only hope to be as good as you someday.

Tsuzuru: Haha, thanks. I'm a little embarrassed to hear that.

Tsuzuru: I hope we can continue to inspire each other as fellow scriptwriters instead.

Madoka: O- of course!

Madoka: Although... I’m just starting out, so I’d like to learn a little more from you if that’s alright.

Madoka: Could I ask you a question?

Tsuzuru: Err, I’m still learning myself, but I'll try to answer it if I can.

Madoka: Ah, thank you so much.

Madoka: So… As an in-house playwright, what do you usually consider when writing a script?

Tsuzuru: Hmm, that’s a good question…

Tsuzuru: If I had to say, I probably think a lot about what each actor’s life is like.

Madoka: All of them?

Tsuzuru: Yeah. The more I know about a person, the more roles and storylines I can come up for them.

Madoka: I see...

[God Troupe Practice Room]

Reni: Alright, let’s begin the practice session.

Troupe Members: Yes sir!

Madoka: (Minagi said that the more I know about an actor, the more inspiration I’ll get, right?)

Madoka: (Hopefully by observing the troupe members during their practices, I’ll learn more about them.)

Madoka: (However, it’s kind of hard to focus on all of them at once. Maybe I should just pick one...)

Madoka: (Today, I’ll focus on…)

Madoka: (Got it! I’ll observe the actor everyone in the God Troupe relies on the most—Asuka Haruto.)

Haruto: For this scene, I think you could incorporate the characters’ relationship into the line delivery a little more.

Troupe Member A: Gotcha, let me try saying this one more time…

Haruto: There you go. Now, let’s discuss the blocking for the next scene…

Madoka: (As always, Haruto is ready to give advice and offer feedback to the other troupe members.)

Madoka: (He’s really become the heart of the God Troupe's practices, how amazing…)

Shift: Haruto! Give me advice too!

Haruto: No.

Shift: Whaaa~ Oh wait! Is it ‘cause I’m so good that there’s nothing for you to say?

Haruto: Don't even think of gettin' cocky with me, ya nitwit.

Troupe Member A: Ahaha!

Troupe Member B: Those two sure get along. Haven't they gotten really close lately?

♡♥♡

Troupe Members: Good work everyone!

Haruto: Hey.

Madoka: Oh, Haruto, that was a good practice session.

Haruto: Just now, it seemed like you were watching me awfully closely. What’s up with that?

Madoka: !

Madoka: I’m really sorry if I bothered you. It’s just... well… recently, I had a talk with Minagi from the Mankai Company and...

Madoka: He told me that in order to write a good script, it was important to observe and understand the actors.

Madoka: That’s why I was sitting in on the troupe's practice today: to get to know everyone better.

Shift: Oh I get it! So it was Haruto’s turn today!

Haruto: Don’t just butt into other people's conversations!

Shift: Anyways! Since today’s practice ended early, the three of us should hang out, so you really get to know him!

Haruto: What.

Madoka: …! Haruto, please let us come with you!

Haruto: D- don't look at me with those puppy-dog eyes.

Haruto: Argh… fine! I get it! You guys can tag along.

Shift: Yes!!

Madoka: Haruto, thank you so much for this.

A Playwright's Observation Diary (Haruto Ver.) - Chapter Two

Shift: Alright! We've achieved the first objective of our mission~ Arriving at the supermarket!

Haruto: What do you mean "our mission"?

Madoka: Umm… what are we doing?

Shift: Hehe, let me explain. One of the older guys in the troupe gave me some takoyaki plates that he didn’t need anymore!

Shift: Oruto loves takoyaki, so we were gonna make some together.

Shift: The catch is... I’ve only made takoyaki a few times before. That’s why, I thought about asking Haruto since he seems like the kinda guy who knows his way around a kitchen.

Haruto: This has nothing to do with Madoka’s observation though…

Shift: Well wait until you hear about this—Our little takoyaki party is officially sponsored!

Madoka: O- officially sponsored?

Shift: After practice, I told Reni about our friendship bonding mission, and he gave me some money for it.

Shift: Mann, I didn’t expect him to do that, but I’m really glad I said something.

Haruto: What!? How shameless are you!?

Shift: But it's for our sake! Reni thought it was a good idea for us to get to know each other better too and gave it his stamp of approval.

Haruto: …! Well, I mean, if Reni said so…

Shift: Alright! "Mission: Make Takoyaki" is a go! Let’s get those ingredients!

Madoka: Yes, we probably should.

Haruto: Jeez, how do I keep getting roped into these things?

Oruto: Whoa, that's amazing! You're really making takoyaki!

Haruto: The dough’s all ready… Now we just need to heat up the takoyaki plates and add a little oil…

Madoka: Wow Haruto, you’re really good at this.

Oruto: And you're doin' it super quick too!!

Haruto: Hey, pass the chopped ingredients over here.

Shift: No problemo! Here they are!

Haruto: What the—When did you have time to buy more ingredients!?

Madoka: Other than the octopus and crunchy tenkasu bits… there’s also cheese, kimchi, pollack roe… corn, bacon and tomatoes, konjac jelly…

Oruto: Ooh, pickled plums and natto too!

Haruto: The octopus and sausages are traditional fillings… but whaddaheck is the rest a’ this junk!

Shift: We’re having a takoyaki party! Trust me, it’ll be more fun this way!

Haruto: You’ve got a lot of nerve putting this shit in front of someone from Kansai…

Shift: It'll be fine, trust me! Let’s start making the takoyaki!

Haruto: Wh- Stop that! Jeez, you really do whatever you want…

Shift: Oruto, Madoka, feel free to fill them with whatever you like too.

Oruto: Gotcha! I'm gonna add this and that~ Then mix it real good!

Madoka: It’s like this, right?

Haruto: You guys too...!? Fine...

Haruto: Have it your way, but you're responsible for eating your own garbage.

♡♥♡

Haruto: I’ve just gotta carefully flip the dough and... There we go.

Shift:  Whoa! You’re crazy good at this!

Oruto: Wow!! So cool!

Madoka: They’re so nice and round… Your handiwork is amazing…

Haruto: It's no big deal.

Haruto: Alright, I’ve just about finished, so now all we have to do is add some sauce, a bit of dried seaweed…

Shift: And shake things up a bit!

Haruto: Now what the hell are ya doin'!?

Shift: We're playing Russian Roulette!

Madoka: The takoyaki's all mixed up… We can't tell what's inside what anymore…

Shift: It’s more exciting this way, trust me!

Haruto: Count your days.

Oruto: This smells so good! And it looks super tasty too!

Shift: Alright everyone, hurry up and pick one so we can dig in!

Oruto: Right behind ya!

Madoka: It looks good.

Haruto: Fine… Whatever.

Shift: Hot! Hot! Mmm...Delicious!

Shift: It’s still hot, but the outside is nice and crispy while the inside is all soft and tender. Nice job, Haruto!

Oruto: This tastes amazing! Mine had sausage inside!

Madoka: Hot, hot… But mmm, it really is delicious. Mine was octopus.

Shift: Mine was cheese and pollack roe! They went super well together!

Haruto: …! ...Sour! What is this!? Pickled plums!?

Haruto: It’s not… Inedible at least…

Shift: Ahaha! Haruto, you got it! That one's my fave!

Haruto: The heck are ya puttin’ in these!!

Madoka: They really are delicious though. It is kind of exciting to try them.

Oruto: Yea!

Shift: Alright, next time I’ll be the one to make takoyaki for you! It’ll be my special recipe filled with all kinds of ingredients!

Haruto: Keep it to ya self!

Madoka: Ahaha!

Madoka: (It’s kinda nice seeing Haruto and Shift go at each other like this.)

Madoka: (For the next script, it might be fun to write a comedy scene with Shift throwing curveball after curveball at Haruto.)

#a3! #a3! translation #madoka ikaruga #haruto asuka #shift arakawa #godza #god troupe #my first non-mhyk tl on here lol

[the-himawari]

A3! Rurikawa Yuki - Translation [SSR] marionnette noire (3/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Yuki: …I know I said that, but I can’t come up with any good ideas. I drafted a lot of different designs, but none of them seem to fit.

Option 1: “I think all of them are cute though.”

Izumi: I think all of them are cute though.

Yuki: That’s natural, since I’m the one who came up with them.

Izumi: You’re not wrong.

Yuki: If it’s a dressy, antique dress, then I can’t really see how I can improve on it. It’s not that the designs don’t suit her… But I haven’t felt like, “this is it!” Would it be better if I just reconsider it from scratch…?

Izumi: (It looks like he’s having fun worrying and going through trial and error like this though.) (He sure doesn’t cut corners even when the subject’s a doll.)

Yuki: …Why are you grinning?

Izumi: Fufu. I was just thinking I can’t wait to see how the clothes turn out.

Option 2: “Why don’t you try a kimono?”

Izumi: Why don’t you try a kimono?

Yuki: Then she’d be like a traditional Japanese doll. That might scare everyone even more.

Izumi: I can’t deny that…

Yuki: But it might be possible to take a step away from an antique dress and think of a different pattern. What kind of dress can give that doll a fresh start… Hmm…

Izumi: Sorry I couldn’t come up with any good ideas.

Yuki: I didn’t expect any, so it’s fine. However, discussing it together was a nice change of pace. Thanks.

Izumi: Fufu. I’m glad I could help, even a little.

*footsteps walk in*

Izumi: Ah, it sounds like Tenma-kun’s home.

Yuki: …Crap.

Izumi: Eh?

Tenma: GYAHHH!!

Izumi: That scream just now…

Yuki: …*Sigh*, called it.

Izumi: Called what…?

Yuki: I left the doll in our room.

Izumi: Ahh… say no more...

-pause-

Yuki: What’re you freaking out for?

Tenma: I-I’m not! I was a little surprised, that’s all!

Yuki: Oh right. On that topic. Hey, what part of her is scary? Look.

Tenma: D-don’t bring it near me!

Yuki: Whatever, take a proper look.

Tenma: … …Now that I have a closer look, she has a cute face.

Yuki: Right?

Tenma: How do I put it… her clothes are too ostentatious. Err, like I said, it’s not that scary or anything!

Yuki: …I see. That’s what it is, huh?

Tenma: …? What? What’s it?

Yuki: What you said. Your scaredy pants come in handy once in a while, huh?

Tenma: HAH!?

-pause-

Koshiro: I… wondered whose doll that was.

Yuki: For her new dress, I went with a lovely design that utilizes a combination of floral patterns and slender ribbons. I also switched her headdress for a lace and cameo hair ornament. Her fancy dress was nice, but these sweet, feminine clothes suit her better and shows off her cute face. I think she looks better in this outfit… But did it change too much from the original?

Koshiro: Wow, I can hardly recognize her. This is much cuter. And more importantly, her face looks happy.

Yuki: That’s true. Alright, we’ll get back at all those who said she’s a shady doll.

---

previous |

#a3! #a3! translation #rurikawa yuki #act! addict! actors!

[imthepunchlord]

Actually, I've wanted to ask but wasn't sure if you'd ever wanted to answer it since it was outside of ML...how did you feel when you discovered they were done with Ash's story once and for all? Which generation did you first start following Pokémon? How long have you watched it? Did you play the games at all? Read any of the manga? Have the trading cards?

Err...Sorry. That was probably too many at once.

No, no, that's fine.

Starting with the anime and Ash, I've watched the Pokemon anime since it first came to the USA, and stuck with it all the way to Advanced, watched a little bit after but then I was kinda done and stopped watching the anime all together. Not that I wasn't enjoying it, it's just, I was tired of Ash as a lead. As a kid I didn't like Ash enough to want to keep following Ash's story through the different regions, so I stopped.

And oh man, I remember watching the start of Advanced and being so excited cause it opened up with May, Sapphire is officially my first Pokemon game and I really liked the girl's design and I wanted more action-adventure shows with girls as the leads that wasn't stuck with overly girly themes and romance and so I thought Advanced was going to be May's journey and she was going to be the lead and then there was Ash and Pikachu and I just deflated. And I've never been interested to keep watching cause I just didn't care/like Ash enough to see more of him and his adventure.

So, personally, I was thrilled to learn that Ash was finally retiring, and we're finally getting some fresh faces for the anime. I've always thought they should've just gone ahead and swapped around leads with every new region, and just switch up whether the lead was the playable boy or playable girl. It really would've added some nice personality to them as they're blank slates in game wise. And have Ash occasionally cameo, like they had Misty cameo a few times.

So for the first time since Advanced ended, I'll actually be watching the Pokemon anime again, cause I'm excited for fresh faces. I've been wanting fresh faces for so long.

So, as the anime wasn't giving me the enjoyment I wanted as a Pokemon fan, I largely stuck with the games. I've played almost all of the main line games, with SwSh being the only one I haven't bought (it wasn't worth the money to me), I have also played almost all of the PMD games with Rescue RB and Explorer's of Sky being my favorites, played 2/3 of the Rangers games, Shadows of Almia and Guardian Signs and gosh, I hope SoA is one day remade, that was one of the best pokemon games I've ever played. I've played Legends Arceus and I hope Legends will become it's own series cause that was fun and fascinating, I really want one set for Jhoto, Unova, and Kalos. And I've played Gale of Darkness.

Pokemon cards I collected as a kid, and they were like a surprise treat from my dad when he came to pick me up as at random, he'd have a pack for me. I had no idea how to play so I just enjoyed collecting them.

Manga wise, I read the first following RBY, but didn't read any after it. The manga series is too dark for my taste, and some of the choices made for characters I found to be weird. So I decided it wasn't for me.

So, as a Pokemon fan, it was largely sticking to the games for me, but I am excited for the new anime, ready to follow some new faces. Personally I think it's long over due.

#ask Punchie #pokemon #personal

[incorrect-exe-artist]

I have Sonic.ERR’s au design. I promised a ref sheet of either Lord X and/or Sonic.ERR (Disclaimer: I do not own ERR, he belongs to his original owners. This is just an au version)

He doesn’t actually have a unique scar. The flesh in the middle of his eyes have been torn away and can’t heal, and he can not form more than one eye (punishment for shooting Piracy’s eye. The fur of his legs and arms are less because more was ripped off byAnna.

Him hurting Piracy was on reflex (an accident leading to a fight), but he now lost the ability to handle weapons and firearms.

He has genuinely apologized to Piracy and both try to befriend each other, either resulting in Anna pulling one of them away, ERR chickening out of a possible confrontation and/or Piracy’s fear or PTSD getting triggered by ERR.

Piracy is usually the one trying to be friends with a much higher tolerance towards ERR, though the accident has made ERR enemies with Fatal Error, Null, EYX, Cyclops and most of all his arch enemy, Anna.

X-Terion is a little more understanding as he gave some more thought to it and was one of the ones who tried to comfort ERR (before whachking him across the idiot and calling him an idiot for the fourth tike that week).

PS: Draw the Swuad next: With a cameo from another persons’s oc (Don’t worry! I will credit!)

Sonic.ERR belongs to @nathandarkson984

#character design #sonic.exe #my art #ERR #yes #he and Piracy are neutral #Piracy actually adored him back then #thought he was cool except for all the killing #sonic.exe au #AU Sonic.ERR #Au ERR #character lore #Character Backstory? Character backstory

[romirola]

first of all- congrats on 100 followers ! your writing is absolutely phenomenal, so thank you for sharing your work with us ! <3

second of all, i’ve never done this before, so please correct me if i’m wrong, but may i request number 18 from the otp prompts, “ we’re inseparable. till the end. ” for avior and starlight or number 1 for the sensory prompts, “watching a meteor shower” for david and angel ?

thank you, and again, congratulations !!💕

Thank you so much for requesting, @hellenhasdied! These were great prompts and I hope you don’t mind that I decided to combine them (with David/Angel appearing in a small, technically unnamed cameo appearance.) My first time writing for Avior and Starlight! Hope you enjoy!

Rating: T, WC: ~1K, Prompts: “We’re inseparable. Till the end,” Avior/Starlight, featuring some David/Angel watching a meteor shower

Starlight stared at Avior, their left eyebrow dipping a bit in that perfect way that always enhanced their bright, alert eyes. “So, you watched me all that time. Err, all your time,” they quickly corrected. Starlight used their hands to mime little boxes to keep their racing thoughts organized. “Which was seconds for me, but months for you? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“That’s what I’m telling you,” Avior confirmed. He let his knees bend, slowly sliding to sit on the floor of the all-too-familiar hellscape. The inchoate crossed his legs and brought an elbow to his knee. When he sighed, he let his chin rest in his palm. Preparing himself for having this conversation with Starlight had been exhausting, even with his magic constantly replenishing.

“But why?” Starlight wondered aloud.

“Why?” Avior repeated, utterly exasperated. “Why? You’re asking me ‘why?’” He burst out laughing, but an edge of panic echoed in his mirthless chuckling. "Starlight, give me a break, okay? For once, can't you just give me fucking break?" He jumped up from his seat, seizing them by the shoulders and pulling them closer so they were inches from his face. “I don’t know!” he cried. “I don’t know anything anymore! I haven’t known anything since I first got stuck in this hellscape reality!”

Starlight’s arms stiffened in Avior’s grasp and they flinched at his words. Avior noticed their small, fearful movements, but even worse, he felt their fear. He felt their fear as it snaked its way around their heart, wrapped itself around their lungs, and chilled their blood.

He never thought Starlight could ever be afraid of him. He suddenly felt sick.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out brokenly, releasing his grip on them and taking a few deliberate steps backwards to show them that they were safe. Or, at least, as safe as they could be here. Avior longed to be in a position where he could keep Starlight truly safe from anything and everything in either of their worlds. He squelched that protective urge to embrace them and shield them from the world. The last thing he would ever want was for Starlight to misinterpret his frustration as anger directed at them.

Again.

“Please, Starlight,” he begged, not even really sure what he was pleading for. Understanding? Acceptance? Belief? Dare he even hope, love?

Starlight shook themselves off and squared their shoulders. “No, that’s not what I meant,” they sighed. “I meant, ‘Why, if you can pick anywhere in the world, err, my world,” they corrected automatically. “If you can pick anywhere in the world to watch, why did you pick only me for what felt like such a long time for you?”

Avior gaped, his jaw tensing at their question. “Oh,” he said simply, letting his hand rub at the back of his neck in a sheepish gesture. “Well, it seems that I was wrong. I do know one thing in this hellscape. I know that I love you.” He ached to close the distance between them, so he dug his heels into the ground to keep himself still. “That’s why I had to see you, even in that skewed way. I had to see you because, you and me? We’re inseparable. ‘Till the end. I don’t know anything else about how or why or when or anything related to this messed up scenario. But I sure as hell know that much.”

“‘Till the end,” Starlight said thoughtfully, like they were trying on the phrase to test whether or not it rang true for them. It did. They strode forward, bringing their palm along Avior’s jaw, slowly trailing it up his cheek, to his temple, and even along the edge of his horn before backtracking. He leaned into their touch, and ever so gently let a hand come to their waist.

“Starlight,” he murmured. “I missed you so much.”

“I think I did, too, even though I didn’t know exactly what I was missing. Just that I was missing something,” they recalled. “It was you.”

Avior laughed again, but this time out of relief and even giddiness. It had been way too long he’d felt any other emotion but despair. Even if he and Starlight were stuck, he felt that with them, there was nothing they couldn’t do, including finding some way to escape their hellish trap.

“Can… can I see?” Starlight asked tentatively. “Just a glimpse of my world? Anywhere. I don’t care. Just, the chance to see people living their lives, to see that the world is still be there for us when we get out of here.”

Avior’s ears perked up at their vocabulary choice.

Us.

When.

He could’ve wept on the spot, but Starlight still had more to say, so he listened carefully. “But only if it doesn’t strain you too much.”

“For you? Nothing’s a strain,” he replied confidently, waving his hand into the space slightly above him and Starlight.

Suddenly, in the air, a still image formed. Starlight could make out a man, considerably large, laying in the back of a truck bed with someone else, probably his partner, with their head on his chest as they both stared at the sky. The man had his hands resting on the smaller person’s stomach while the person excitedly pointed into the sky. Starlight’s eyes followed the outstretched finger and found the sky contained a dazzling meteor shower, frozen in time. If they looked closely, Starlight and Avior could see that the couple was moving, but it looked like a recording playing painfully slowly. Still, with how wide the man’s smile was and how excited the other person was as they watched the meteor shower together, Avior and Starlight didn’t mind the sluggish movement of time.

“It’s so pretty! Thank you, Avior.” Starlight let their own head fall towards Avior’s chest. They stared intently, like the moment was the most gorgeous painting they’d ever had the privilege of seeing. “They’re in love,” Starlight observed.

Avior kissed Starlight’s cheek. “I know the feeling.”

#redacted asmr #redacted fanfiction #redated avior #redacted davey #david shaw #redacted angel #thank you! #Requests are still open! #redacted starlight

[sinisterexaggerator]

To err on the side of caution; or, “Look! I’m taking another enormous risk!”| Shriv Suurgav

Ao3

Chapter 1

4.3k+ words 

Warnings: Angst, fluff, smut, romance, slow burn.

This Chapter: None! - Consider it a history lesson / origin story of sorts. ( Cad Bane and Maz cameo! )

No one ever listened to Shriv. It was an ongoing theme throughout his life. Though he was in his prime, he wasn’t just some nerve burner who sat around twiddling his thumbs all day.  He had thought about things; important things, while doing his transport runs between the Core worlds and the noxious surface of Duro and its orbiting waystations – he had been one of the numerous pilots of CorDuro’s measly fleet. His ship had been scantly space-worthy, but it was a job, and better than toiling in the factories.

Those factories weren’t always there, though.

Shriv had been forever branded a pessimist considering the state of things - there was just so much to complain about! The Clone Wars had ended a coon’s age ago, but nothing ever seemed to get any better. There was also the fact Duros had been barred from direct representation in the senate after the Empire redrew the sectorial boundaries on a whim  – what a load of Bantha poodoo! But it was common knowledge - no one wanted to endure what they said were “the gripes of a jaded Duros who ought to be thankful for what he had.” when he talked about the corrupt, laserbrained despots who were in power.

They sure as all Sith hell’s hadn’t listened to him back on Bburru Station either when he said Duro was next to incur the Empire’s wrath. It seemed obvious.

“Bet you a thousand credits.”

You better hope you’re right  -  you don’t even -have- a thousand credits.

Not that I -want- to be right about something like that…

By his calculations, and Duros were known for their computational prowess, Duro was in for another oppressive regime bearing down on it any day now.

First, it was the Rakata who enslaved the Duros until a plague wiped them off the face of the known galaxy. That was eons before Shriv’s time, and he was thankful for that bit of good fortune. Sure, something positive had come from it; the Duros were able to reverse engineer their hyperdrives to become avid space explorers, but that was minus all the times the Rakata had eaten them for dinner.

Then, it was the Mandalorian’s who laid Duro nearly to waste during their pointless war over something or other. And guess what? Slavery! Again, he had missed out on all the fun as luck would have it. Those Basilisk war droids had been a blast… literally.

Then, it was the Confederacy of Independent Star Systems led by General Grievous who did a little number on Duro’s already battered surface. No slavery this time, only radioactive fallout. Shriv had been there for that one, unfortunately.

Operation Durge’s Lance, as it was so loving referred to after the fact, had been an overwhelming success. Hoolidan Keggle, Duro’s chief representative officer, had been quick to give up, but the campaign was brutal; merciless. By the time the red tape - also known as excessive bureaucracy - and other sorts of formalities were so unceremoniously attended to behind closed doors, Duro was a cesspit.

Yessir, a few handshakes and bows of supplication later and Duro’s already fragile geography was in tatters -  the orbital bombardment had eradicated the planet’s last safeguards against the rampant toxins and air pollutants that permeated over every square inch of the Duros’ “home world:” its “natural” environment. It was problematic to live on Duro by this point without protective full body gear; though Shriv never went down there more than he had to anyhow, and he had only been a youngling at the time.

Scared the snot out of Corellia, that was for sure…

What these naysayers did was lament not listening to him when the Star Destroyer finally came to parade itself like a matrix-armored peacock within their sector. He won that bet, though. There wasn’t much left of Duro to begin with, but what the Duros had you can be damn sure the Empire coveted for themselves.

The Imperial Navy had wasted no efforts in seizing control, driving most of the companies that wouldn’t cooperate with their insipid desires out of business. They commandeered entire holdings, erected hideous plants and workshops, forged mines that contaminated the oceans of Duro – they unapologetically decimated the remainder of Duro’s natural resources within a span of a few planetary rotations. Although the residents of the orbital cities were safe and sound, the planet itself was mired in waste and solid duracrete, its streets filled with puddles of pure, concentrated poison… Shriv hated it down there – it had no functioning ecosystem to speak of, and that was after everything else horrific that happened in his species’ tumultuous history.

Then, the Empire claimed the shipyards and orbital facilities themselves. Engineers were “commissioned” to build huge, hyperdrive capable cargo carriers to haul goods between Imperial worlds such as Coruscant, or Corulag.

Bburru City, Shriv’s birthplace, was the largest of these orbital habitats created by the Duros and claimed the title of being Duro’s capital. It was a sprawling, architectural and industrial marvel with a majestic network of spheres and domes joined together by a near-symmetrical lattice of spokes and shipyard arms, all glowing and basking in the orange luminesce of their sole sun. Most of its residents occupied towers with a decent view of the stars instead of the gloomy world below, though Shriv lived on a level closer to the planet’s surface where the city’s reactors and drive units were located, the generators for the planetary shields, and the cargo docks ninety percent of the population worked at day in and day out.

Though, Shriv had felt his job wasn’t entirely without merit. He was doing his part to help preserve what was left of Duro’s past by transporting priceless Durosian artifacts from the surface, although he was not aware of CorDuro’s secret contracts involving smugglers and black-market consortiums. If someone would have told him that was their end game, honestly, he wouldn’t have been surprised.

He had always wanted to be a Luk; or a “pilot” as Humans called them, though it had been a far Raraza cry from the kind of thing he had in mind in the days of his bygone youth, daydreaming while he walked through the artificial forest of Bburru station, or gazed out of a transparent dome at the stars above and beyond his reach. In fact, there was only one native tree left in all of “Duro”, and Durosian scientists had desperately tried to clone it and failed – maybe they should have asked the Kaminoans for assistance – seemed like their cup of caf.

Finally, he had said “Kark it.” and went out on his own. Shriv was one of the first that joined in on a mass exodus the world over after things took a turn for the worse (If things could get worse, that is.) - brought his transport vessel with him. It was basically stealing, but he had given CorDuro enough years of his life that his thievery had been justified. It was only fair – they stole something of his – his time, so why not take the hunk of junk as recompense?

There had been a battle; a rather unexpected course of events to say the least, but it had garnered his attention. Rebel cells had come together to attempt to free Duro of Imperial Control using BTL Y-Wing Starfighters after intercepting a distress call from someone planet side, an archaeologist as it turns out. This particular Duros was sick of all the looting; there was hardly anything left in the Valley of Royalty - one of the “Twenty Wonders of the Galaxy.”

The Rebel cells had focused their firepower on the orbiting city of Vnas where several capital ships were docked. The BTL Y-Wing was an old Clone Wars era fighter-bomber from the looks of it, and they were definitely used as bombers during the assault alongside B-Wing Starfighters and Z-95 Headhunters. Shriv was impressed with the pilots who agilely and skillfully evaded the droves of TIE Fighters that burst forth from the hangar bays of the Imperial cruiser like a swarm of angry bees.  He had wished he was one of those guys whizzing around out there, which why the kriff not? He could be …

What’s stopping you, Suurgav?

Oh, just the fact it’s almost one-hundred percent certain you’re going to get yourself killed.

Ultimately, they had lost; disbanded; zipped off into hyperspace like crippled animals to attend and lick their wounds, but not before putting up one hell of a fight – it’s the thought that counts.

You’re going to die one day, either way…                                                                 

He had left his family without so much as a goodbye; they’d understand, though he’d brought a few friends along; a few dissenters if you wanted to get technical – a couple of other transport pilots, and a member or two of the poorly trained CorDuro security force who concluded their lives would be better spent in some other part of the galaxy far, far away from the center of all the action.

That’s not exactly how things worked out…

Had he told his life-giver what he planned to do, she would have hooted like a cloud ape and guilt-tripped him into staying even though he was already pushing thirty – he would always be her “little larva.” To say that she was overbearing would be an understatement.

Shriv could remember it like it was yesterday, though it had been years ago – the conversation he had overheard that had inspired him to want to join this ragtag group of Rebels, as if he needed any more convincing, beyond a shadow of a doubt. He knew the planet he was on, the exact place he was visiting, the day of the week, the very hour it all went down, the drink he was partaking of, and the company he kept – including the company he hadn’t meant to keep, but looked back on with fond, yet unsettling memories.

Takodana; Maz’s Castle; Zhellday, the 8th hour of the evening, and he had been sipping on a tankard of Parkellan Sling with Mair and Ziler. The other two, Ilod and Hanal had long since parted ways – one cried homesick, and the other took up a job working for a Hutt as part of his security detail. Seems they were always hiring … huge turn over.

“Did you hear about what they’re calling the Ghorman massacre?”

“No, what happened?”

“The Empire murdered a bunch of peaceful protestors in cold blood.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nope. They were protesting against Imperial Taxation. They blockaded that guy Tarkin’s warship and didn’t want to move off the landing pad…”

“Oh, geez …”

“He literally landed his cruiser on top of them.”

“No way!!!”

“Yeah, most of them died instantly…others, seriously injured.”

“That’s insane!”

“I hear they’re plotting open rebellion now…”

“Well, I don’t blame them… The Empire is...”

The dialogue had died off into a whisper, but their words lingered in Shriv’s head like an echo rebounding in a cave. He had slammed his tankard on the table right next to Maz and complained grouchily. “There’s gotta be something someone can do to stop these sleemo’s, right?!”

“Why don’t you do something?” Maz loved playing devil’s advocate to say the least – that stuck with him too, kept repeating, her simple question invading his thoughts over and over as the night dragged on even though he was halfway to drunk, barely cognizant -  she had a very convincing way of communicating.

Why didn’t he do something? More importantly, what could he do?

Shriv recalled having one too many Parkellan Slings, finding himself up on his soapbox, talking to anyone who would listen about the atrocities of the Empire and the travesties they had committed against Duro and his species.

“Who does the “Emperor” think he is?!!  – A dried up Sriluurian raisin if you ask me.” Yes, he stooped that low. Shriv wasn’t one to unjustly pick on someone for their personal appearance, but this guy deserved it.

“Star Destroyers – pfft. More like compensation for something, amiright?  Just how big can you make them, hmm?” Shriv wouldn’t know what that was like.

“And why would you give your infantry white armor, anyway? Anyone can spot a Stormtrooper from a mile away – what about the element of surprise? Is that supposed to be some kind of power move?” Honestly, either this guy Palpatine was a genius, or a sadist who liked to watch his own soldiers die – maybe both, considering plastoid was a terrible aesthetic and functional choice in terms of battle armor.

It seemed Shriv was getting under a few people’s skin or microscales - his friends had warned him to keep it down. He didn’t listen, naturally, turning on a Duros in the corner who had his feet propped up nonchalantly while chewing lazily on a toothpick.  A little droid had been idly chattering away into his inner ear until Shriv felt the need to interrupt to get this man’s sentiment. They were the same species! Surely he would back him up!

“Hey, you! Old-timer wearing the excessively large hat! You get it, right!? It’s kriffed up what they did to us!” It was beyond a normal or acceptable circumference as far as hats would go, and Shriv couldn’t understand why he’d want to conceal himself behind it; it’s purpose – did it have one? Did he think it added something to his already distinctive, somewhat threatening appearance?

I’d look kriffin’ asinine wearing something like that! - Why do I feel like I know this Duros? -  Just where the hells does this guy shop? Where do you even BUY a hat that big?

Normally, he wouldn’t have been so brazen in referring to an elder Duros in such a careless, ill-mannered fashion, but alcohol did something to Shriv; that’s why he usually stayed away from it. People already seemed to think he was no fun to be around, and much less so when the filter that so loosely bridled him vanished resolutely into the ether somewhere at the consumption of a few distilled beverages.

That toothpick swiveled to the corner of this Duros’ mouth, his neck craning upward as he took in Shriv with a gaze that scrutinized, his brow ridge having curved inward to impress a scowl across his face. “S’a nice haat.”

Oh, so that’s why he wanted to hide … He had one mean mug, though Shriv wasn’t that put-off by him, at least at first. He wasn’t anymore terrifying than those stories of the cannibal arachnids they told back on Duro, anyway.

Thank Maker they all went extinct before I was born…  

“Did I say excessively large hat? I meant just the right size.”

Apprehensive? Sure. Overly cautious? Absolutely. But afraid?

The Duros had shifted, placing his feet upon the ground. He unfolded his arms and stood, rising like a gangly scarecrow to a height that could tower over a field of corn and him the crow. Shriv swallowed, realizing he had two blasters holstered at his hips and something he hadn’t noticed before; forearm gauntlets with a plethora of buttons; too many to take a count, and rocket thrusters attached to his … boots, apparently. There was a menace in his crimson, horizontal eyes that chilled Shriv’s green blood by a few degrees, his instincts driving him to take a step backward for no reason other than he was invading his personal space.

Ah, kriff, you’ve done it now.

OK, yes. Afraid.

Well, not so much afraid … but maybe more like, intimidated.

“I mean, it makes sense if you think about it, as you have such a large head. You need a bigger hat.”

A few people had glanced around; some laughed. Maz tsked, thinking this idiot was going to get himself killed before the sun came up.

“Not you in particular, I just meant … Duros. Duros would need larger hats compared to other humanoid hat wearing species with heads not as large as… ours, though you are the first I’ve seen to wear such an unusual piece.”

Oh boy, you really backed yourself into a corner with that one.

“Not unusual in a bad way… Of course, I think my head’s even bigger than yours if it makes you feel any better! It’d just make me look…ridiculous. That’s to be expected… not that… you look ridiculous.”

The other Duros had stood there, glaring, but not saying a single word. He bared his fangs in a display of irritation before he removed his toothpick and callously flicked it on the floor.

Well, that’s a bit unsanitary…

His fingers had moved; latched onto the edge of his no-fight holsters lined with fresh gas cartridges and power cells – he had enough to take out an entire army. Shriv wondered what he required all that ammunition for.

“You know, you kind of look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before? Wanted posters, maybe?”

“Master Bane, remember the rules! Maz does not approve of fighting in her castle!” the little droid piped up.

Holy karkin’ snot! That’s why he looks so familiar!

“On closer inspection, I’ve never seen you before in my life …”  

Shut. Up. Just shut up, Shriv!!”

“Can’nit, Todo. D’ere wouldn’t  be’a fight … just’a quick death, dat’s all.”

Take a deep breath. Deeeeep breath.

“I am so sorry. I meant no disrespect. I am not deserving of your time, believe me – just a worthless Duros pleading for his life at this very moment - in case you were unaware that’s what this is - me, pleading, before none other than the greatest bounty hunter of all time. - It’s a pleasure to meet you, by the way… A living legend with an impeccable sense of style might I add.” The first part was true, but he could only hope the sarcasm dripping off his lack of lips in regard to his fashion choices was masked by the flighty, psychological response that was kicking on in the background. Surely Cad Bane could smell his stress levels.

“You could rival my old buddy, Lando! He favors a cape, though. Ever thought about wearing one?” Now he was just rambling; past the point of redemption - he talked too much – stream of consciousness – Shriv could hardly help it; sometimes his internal dialogue just … escaped. Something he might find himself needing to do rather abruptly in the next few minutes, give or take – that, or patiently await his demise.

“I suppose it might uh… just get in your way… not very … useful…”

Lando’s cape sure as hell isn’t useful.

“This fellow’s all right, Bane – just doesn’t know when to be quiet!  You should listen to your droid. He’s smart.” Maz had stared the other Duros down without a hint of fear. Shriv applauded her, mentally, realizing he needed to rein himself in a bit and that he was perhaps lucky he wasn’t dead already.

Cad Bane had growled low, a sound issuing forth from the recess of his throat. He turned to Maz, regarded her, then back to the man who couldn’t keep his trap shut as the droid named Todo chirped.

“Well, at least someone appreciates me.” Shriv felt like he could relate to that.

Try to cover your tracks a little better this time, huh Suurgav?

“What I meant to say before all that other stuff was … Duros just can’t catch a break, huh? You look like you’ve got a few stories to tell! What do you think about all this?”

Cad Bane had not hesitated. “Duro’s a sscughole – but de Empire will fall as Empire’s al’ways do – you sso angry, mebbe y’should step up t’da plate an’ quit yer yappin’ – get off yer chubbies an’ make yerself wurth sometin’ since you’re so… wurthless.”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Shriv had homed in on his accent; it was unique. He thought he must be from some dreadful place like New Tayana that he had never had the pleasure of visiting  - he was a “Capital City Slicker” and somewhat grateful for it. He had been “raised right” without any of his wants or needs having to go unfulfilled, yet far from spoiled – to use Human terminology, perhaps he was “middle class.”

“You might be onto something, er, sir.”

That’s two in one day … It -has- to be a sign.

He had watched sheepishly as Cad Bane paid his tab, tipped his giant hat to the proprietor of the establishment. His little droid followed him outside as he called back to Maz, waving his fingers in the air above the wide brim of that ungainly bolero atop his head. “Keep outta trouble, lil’ lady – an’ teach dat boy t’learn when t’shut up b’fore he gehets ‘imself mur’dered in ‘is ssleep.”

He had insulted Cad Bane and lived to tell the tale. “Was that a – was that a threat? Should I be… worried?” he had whispered to the pirate queen.

That’s when someone yelled out to Maz before she could respond. “Maz, turn on the holoprojector! Senator Mon Mothma is talking mad snot!”

Shriv had plopped himself right back down on his well-worn barstool – stared into the holovid; the projection of the Chandrilian senator causing the whole castle to go silent, including him.

"This is Senator Mon Mothma, I have been called a traitor for speaking out against a corrupt Galactic Senate. A Senate manipulated by the sinister tactics of the Emperor. For too long I have watched the heavy hand of the Empire strangle our liberties, stifling our freedoms in the name of ensuring our safety. No longer! Despite Imperial threats, despite the Emperor himself, I have no fear as I take new action. For I am not alone. Beginning today we stand together as allies. I hereby resign from the Senate to fight for you, not from the distant hall of politics but from the front lines. We will not rest until we bring an end to the Empire, until we restore our Republic! Are you with me?”

Did the stars just align, or am I crazy?

There had been a hustle and bustle about the castle, people whispering, cheering, nodding in approval. Shriv watched as chairs scrapped along the floors of duracrete, pushed back out of eagerness to leave. He looked to Maz – Maz looked at him. He felt something – a kind of magic in the air. He glanced to Mair and Ziler who were desultorily drinking their choices of libation; they hadn’t noticed the hubbub or didn’t seem to care.

“Well, let’s go then!”

“Um, where?” Mair asked, unfazed. Shriv hadn’t thought that far ahead.

Maz had leaned into him from behind the bar, whispered low into his ear canal. “Dantooine.” she said, Shriv not knowing Maz had plenty of experience advising people when it came to issues regarding the Rebellion. She made her own moves in secrecy – she heard everything. “Tell them it was my idea.”

Shriv knew better; he had kept his mouth shut instead of blurting out; convinced his fellow Duros to follow him to these new coordinates: L-4, Raioballo Sector, Outer Rim Territories. Vague, but it would get them there.

“Well, I’m flying. You’re wasted!”

“No, I’m not!”

“You basically told Cad karkin’ Bane his hat is stupid.”

"Am I wrong?!”

“…”

“It’s not like the hyperspace lanes are crowded, Mair, and it’s my ship!”

“I swear to Maker if you kill us…”

They had arrived amid a mass of other ships, among them a Modified VCX-100 light freighter who sat at the head of all the other vessels - fascinating. There were Nebulon-B Frigates, Blockade Runners, a few MC80 Liberty Type Heavy Star Cruisers – Y-Wings, B-Wings, and Shriv in his older model Mneffe-class Superluminal Cargo Transport by DuroTech; he had removed the hyperspace tracker right off the bat – Shriv had a way with ships; a right mechanic.  

The Superluminal was comprised of a long, central fuselage slung beneath a semi-circular wing. Despite its awkward build, it was capable of carrying up to six passengers and twenty metric tons of cargo. It usually required a pilot and a copilot to operate, though it could be flown with a skeleton crew of one, which Shriv often flew solo on his short-range transport gigs.

For defense, it was bare bones – something he’d have to remedy. The vessel had only a turret-mounted double laser cannon – it could use some on its dorsal. If he was going to be a true member of this Rebellion he’d need to supe it up. He had the know-how if these guys could help him out.

A voice had cut in on the subspace radio; he nearly panicked, not expecting to be hailed so quickly. It was a woman; she sounded forceful, suspicious, though for the most part innocuous – still, she had an air of regality to her sharp tone.

“Superluminal – identify yourself.”

“Just three Duros looking to join your Rebellion, ma’am. Maz Kanata sent us.”

Silence. Shriv nearly broke a sweat, but that would have been impossible - he didn't have the glands to do so. Ziler had chuckled to himself as Mair gave his friend a side-long glance.

“What do we call you, then?”

Shriv had racked his brain for all of five seconds; said the first thing that came to mind. He knew after it left his mouth that he’d have to live up to it in due time.

“We’re uh … Danger Squadron.”

Could have been a little more original, Suurgav.

The suspense was killing him – Mair had flashed his fangs in disbelief. He mouthed their new title back to him silently, snickering.

“Standby for further instructions, Danger Squadron.”

It was official.

“Well, l hope sitting’s OK!” he had said with a forced bit of laughter on his end as all three Duros were snuggly ensconced within the confines of their own, respective chairs.

…

What the kriff is wrong with you?

“Didn’t catch that Danger Squad, please repeat.”

Shriv had cleared his throat, put on his best impression of someone with authority. “Standing by.”

#Shriv Suurgav #Shriv #Star wars fanfiction #Battlefront 2 #Star Wars #Duro #Duros #maz kanata #mon mothma #rebel alliance

[spongebob-connoisseur]

what if looney toons peter lorre met slappy

Oh that's easy! I'd simply pass way

Jk jk but ohhhh!! Finally! I can use my book of notes for this! Because as of late I've been blowing off energy writing about slappy and where specifically other peter lorre parodies in cartoons came from + roles he played that contributed most to the typical lorre caricature we have in mind that so often shows up in media. Also because slappy only has small cameos and stuff and this is how I get more content lol *snorts some slapcrack*

Okay! But there is noticeable differences between the typical looney tunes lorre characters. There's 5 looney tunes shorts I've seen so far with some type of lorre character. Two with a mad scientist-esque character and one with a gangster, some with some dude Mr. Greenstreet (ha get it? Get it?) who's obsessed with new tastes (get this man some 🐔), and one where it's just himself along with other parodies of Hollywood stars. There's also his appearence in tinytoons where he was an evil train conductor named boxcars. There's more but that's all I've seen so far.

Though I think we'll stick with mad scientist lorre because he appeared twice in the original plus had a little comeback in the movie looney tunes back in action. Also they've got an official name! Dr. Lorre 👀

I know for SURE they would've wanted experimented on my boy slappy. A talking fish? How could they resist? Maybe they'll finally find his wishbone?

Of course they wouldn't be getting it easy. While I don't see slappy really fighting. He has his way of getting around (his mysterious transportation onto that stunt ride mobility scooter in Pat-a-thon or him just there watching pat through the window in lost in couch) he just shows up and disappears. Not to mention, in actual trouble. He can manage via unorthodox methods (stair wars) Ngl I wish I could settle all feuds like this lol

Also slappy seems to have a very small (but very much there) awareness that he's a weirdo/people find him creepy. He doesn't seem to mind. But can also easily do what he can to make people further repulsed by him. (I assumed so from his first episode and lost in couch but now I am certain in the halloween special)

Who would win? Will it be a battle to the death? Err no. The scientist ones has one detail that Slappy doesn't have. The thing about how a lot of peter lorre characters are depressed and tortured. Dealing with inner demons ans suffering from loneliness and thus are unable to control their actions. Which sounds dramatic but a staple trait to add to any of your Lorre inspired characters 👀 (like for an example, I just finished watching The Stranger On the Third Floor. Peter Lorre plays a criminal, in the final scene talking to a lady and said the only one who's ever been nice to him was a lady, and that he doesn't have any friends. He's clearly sad. But he's a killer who's been slashing people's throats. It should've been obvious. Still I think it was mcstinking cute!)

Anyways they don't get why people turn away from them while doing horrible things that make people run away in fear.

Which is something the looneytunes lorre characters have that slappy doesn't. Slappy is pretty happy go lucky. He's certainly weird but doesn't mind it at all. He enjoys things his own way and is friendly (to the best of his abilities) I mean look how Unbothered he is!!

I can see slappy befriending the looneytunes lorre characters. He's the only one I can see that wouldn't judge them for their heinous actions and would probably be the most understanding. Eh, knowing them, they'd still probably try to steal his wishbone but it wouldn't bother him much.

Now I can really see them having almost like a group session where they're talking about their feelings and slappy is just there listening xD slappy is the least likeliest to make a therapist but also probably the best..?

Why do I kinda feel like he'd find their heinous acts amusing? He loves a good failure after all. Probably listening to how they let people come to their untimely demise is to him like listening to how people failed to keep their lives? Perhaps for his own macarbe amusement? Or maybe it's just innocent curiousity? Or maybe he genuinely wants to help? Who knows.

Thank you so so much for this ask! It was such a joy to answer! I really enjoyed it since I got to infodump about slappy/lorre!! Which is always such a treat. But fr I mean it! I'd ramble on and on if ya didn't stop me so it's nice to know someone enjoys listening about it!!☺💖💖

#Ask #This was so much fun! Made my day erm.. I mean night #It is pretty late #But still ya get what i mean!! #spongebob #spongebob squarepants #sb #the spongebob connoisseur #spongebon squarepants #spongebob meme #the patrick star show #Slappy laszlo #Slappy spongebob #Laszlo spongebob #Peter Lorre fish #Looneytunes #Dr. Lorre #The patrick show

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Jockey For Position

Now that we’re done with that long cameo, it’s time for our feature presentation for tonight, and it’s a doozy!:

We open with Pinky frantically running on a spinning globe while Brain stands above him on the…globe holder? I don’t know if that part has a name or not.

“[winded gasps] Can I stop now, Brain?”

“Not until I finish my demonstration.”

Brain, that’s just… Well I was about to say it was mean, but given that Pinky understands the details of his plans better when Brain demonstrates it or draws elaborate diagrams, maybe it’s for the best? I doubt Brain could make that large globe spin just by using his hands, and Pinky’s been seen a lot of times running on the mouse wheel in their cage so he’s gotta be pretty in shape. Still, it feels like Pinky’s been running for a lot longer than he needed to…

You know what? I change my mind. It is a bit mean, Brain.

“When I build my reverse geotropic arrestor, Pinky, and throw it from the North Pole like this…”

The word “geotropic” doesn’t quite sound right. I wonder…

…Okay, yeah, Brain’s getting worse at naming things.

“…In a matter of seconds the cable will become taut, gravity will cease, and everyone will fly off the face of the Earth!”

Oh my GOD, Brain. This has got to be the stupidest plan you have come up with yet! Nothing about this will work.

Well, there goes poor Pinky.

“Leaving us alone to assume control.”

It’s still “us”, huh? Noted.

Long Pinky.

“Egad, Brain, brilliant! Haha hehe heh—!”

Pinky, sweetheart, I know praising Brain is kind of your thing but this is one time I’m going to have to call you out on your bias because this is super not brilliant and I’m actually a little worried for Brain’s mental state.

“—Oh wait, no, no. What’s going to keep us from flying off the Earth?”

That’s one flaw of many, Pinky, but I guess it’s as good a start as any.

“We will duct tape ourselves to a tree.”

Because the tree will totally stay in the ground when the Earth abruptly stops spinning. Not that it will stop spinning, because none of this makes any sense.

Brain, did this idea come from, like, a dream you had or something? Is that why the plan is working on dream logic?

I know this is a comedy cartoon and this is all a joke but sometimes Brain’s plans are so fucking out-there I just have to roast him for it.

“Unfortunately we still need to raise money to buy a one billion ton magnet. But I have a solution!”

Oh boy, can’t wait to hear the solution to this one. It’s gonna be stellar if the whole plan today is anything to go by.

Oh nice, Brain’s the one sewing for a change! Usually this is Pinky’s area of expertise, but it’s always nice to see that Brain can do some classically domestic things too.

“Tomorrow is the running of the Kentucky Derby. Do you know what that is?”

Most of my knowledge on it comes from “My Brother, My Brother, and Me” goofs, so my mind keeps autocorrecting it to “Kenfucky Derby”, but go on.

“Umm… Oh! A very large hat?”

“Promise me something, Pinky. Never breed.”

“I’ll try.”

Well, that’s going to come back to haunt them.

“The Kentucky Derby is the biggest horse race of the year. There’s a one million dollar purse going to the jockey riding the winning horse.”

“And I am going to win that purse!”

Okay, first off: Pinky, are you just going to stand there and stare at Brain as he gets changed? Like, I understand they’re naked normally and this is the exact opposite of stripping but umm…

Secondly: Brain, did you really have to get that up close to tell Pinky this? You two are making this too easy for me.

“Zort, Brain! A million dollar purse?!? Ooooh!~ You’re going to need matching pumps and earrings for that!”

Pinky’s got his priorities in order.

“Focus, Pinky, focus!”

“Now watch.”

And now Brain’s ordering Pinky to watch him dress and I just…I have no words. This is all so suspect. Why do you two even need a dressing screen if you’re usually naked anyway? And it shouldn’t matter if anyone sees you get dressed unless this is some weird reverse nudity taboo you two have developed and if that’s the case, why are you allowing Pinky to watch? And if it’s for a dramatic reveal WHY ARE YOU ORDERING HIM TO WATCH YOU CHANGE???

This episode is already so goddamn wild.

I am really not sure how I feel about that pan-up of Brain when he’s thrust his pelvis forward. At least the outfit is cute, though.

“Narf! Oh, Brain, I get it! You’re a beautiful lawn ornament!”

“Beautiful”, huh? Also noted.

“Look at me, narf, I’m a pink flamingo! Ahahaheh!”

Oh LORD, Pinky, how are you—?!?

“I’m a cement deer! Ah hah!”

PINKY, STOP, YOU’RE SCARING ME! D:

“Oh, I’m one of the seven dwarves, Brain!”

That’s more acceptable but Pinky, sweetie, warn me if you’re going to nightmarishly shapeshift again, okay?!

I guess we can add that to the list of random abilities Pinky has.

“Stop it, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.”

You are much calmer about this than I would be if this happened in front of me, Brain.

“Oh. Right-o, Brain. Narf.”

“Now let us make haste, for we have much to do before the race begins.”

“Poit.”

So then we cut to Churchill Downs, and I can only assume another roadtrip adventure was had off-screen.

“First, Pinky, we must visit the stables.”

“Inside, we will find the winning horse.”

“Err… How are we gonna do that, Brain?”

“The racing form, Pinky.”

My bet’s on... [squints] hLUUNO the horse.

“By analysing the velocity-based pace line, mile turf win and bayer speed figures, we’ll find a grade one stakes claimer who’ll give us a key horse situation.”

“Key Horse Situation” would be a great band name. Also, whoops, little bit of an error on the name plaques, background artists.

What do your mouse eyes see, Pinky?

“Err, can’t we just ride the pretty one?”

SHE!

So here she is, one of the few characters debuting in the Animaniacs run that will matter to PatB lore going forward aside from our main duo.

A fun fact for you all: Phar Fignewton’s name is a triple reference joke. “Phar Lap” was a champion thoroughbred race horse in the late 1920s and early 1930s. Fig Newtons are small pastries filled with fig paste. Lastly, “Fahrvergnügen” was a slogan for Volkswagon starting in 1990. Translated, it means “driving enjoyment”.

Phar Fignewton makes a whinnying noise and ends it off with a goofy laugh.

Brain is not impressed.

“Heavens, they’re multiplying…”

Pinky is instantly smitten with her.

BONK!

“This is a business trip, Pinky!”

“Oh. Right. Sorry, Brain.”

“Here is our horse.”

“’Daddy’s Little Angel’…”

I guess it’s an ironic nickname.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Whu… I think so, Brain, isn’t Regis Philbin already married?”

…

Now I’m wondering if Pinky is suggesting that one of them marry Regis or if he’s suggesting that Regis marries the horse. Either way, what the fuck?

Yeah, same.

“The race, Pinky. By combining the statistics and my low body weight, this horse cannot lose! The prize money will be ours!”

GAH! Brain, I’ve had enough minor heart attacks from this episode because of Pinky’s eldritch morphing ability, I don’t need another one of your bizarre close-ups to do the same!

“Now I must take the place of the real jockey.”

“Hello?”

“Is this the Jockey who’s going to ride ‘Daddy’s Little Angel’?”

“Yeah.”

“This is Ed Mcmahon from Publisher’s Smearing House. You’ve just won ten million dollars.”

Pinky delightedly and silently listening in and chuckling in the back is precious.

And honestly, Brain, I don’t know why you’re crouching here, but it’s also cute.

“I won ten million dollars… I WON TEN MILLION DOLLARS! I am outta here! Later!”

The mice are lucky that he’s so excited about winning all that money that he forgets to do basic things like ask when and how he’ll get the money.

“Louie! Louie!”

“Later!”

“Who’s gonna ride my horse? I mean, Louie is the smallest, lightest jockey in the entire world!”

Did you know that there’s a weight requirement for jockeys, but no height requirement?

“Not anymore!”

“[GASP]”

Whoops, I just noticed another error, though it’s minor: Brain’s jockey outfit throughout this scene is light tan and purple instead of the pea green and purple that it’s supposed to be.

“You’re a jockey?!”

“Actually, I am a mouse in the early stages of an elaborate scheme to take over the world.”

The more this happens, the more I’m starting to think that Brain does this shtick on purpose to emotionally and mentally disarm people who would otherwise suspect that he’s not human. The fact that it works shows you just how idiotic the human beings of this world are.

“Well, fine, we all need a hobby but…will you ride my horse?”

Oh, sir, I think it’s much more than a hobby at this point. If only you knew…

“I shall ride! And win!”

His design is a little odd here, but it’s still a good pose.

So Brain next has to be weighed to make sure he meets the requirements.

“Saddle: Seven pounds. Saddle and rider: Seven pounds 3 ounces.”

So if you can recall from the previous rewatch post, a house mouse on average weighs 19g, and a common wood mouse weighs 23g (it can be up for debate which type of mouse Brain is).  Converting Brain’s 3 ounces of weight to grams would result in him weighing 85.0486g.

Brain does have a bit of a cute little potbelly thing going on, but he’s also consistently much smaller in height and width than the average adult mouse in the series. I think the incredible difference in weight is mostly coming from the heft of Brain’s, well, brain and skull…and the muscle mass packed into that tiny body to help keep him upright.

“A genetically perfect jockey! This is fantastic!”

Please don’t phrase it like that.

“…Let’s look into early retirement.”

That jockey on the left is going through some shit, man. He looks like how I feel after working an eight hour shift on the holidays.

And so we skip to the beginning of the race!

That poor, poor jockey…who changed colour schemes for some reason.

There’s Phar Fignewton with a jockey who honestly looks like he’s high.

And here’s our little mousey fella, who has somehow managed to make this aggressive horse obedient.

“Camptown race is five miles long, do-dah, do-dah.~”

He’s so happy he’s singing to himself! This is honestly so precious that I completely forgive him for not getting the lyrics correct.

Coincidentally, Daddy’s Little Angel is positioned next to Phar Fignewton.

“Ooh, isn’t this exciting, Brain?”

Uh oh.

“Pinky, what are you doing here? Your weight will disrupt my winning calculations!”

I don’t know if it’d be that off, Brain. The combined weight of two mice is still much less than that of a human jockey.

“But Brain, it’s too exciting! I—“

[TARGET LOCKED]

“Oooh! Heh. Hello.~”

I think I’m going to save my thoughts on this whole…thing until the end. Right now I will say, however, that I wasn’t quite expecting the tongue-hanging-out-of-gaping-mouth lovestruck/horny??? reaction.

“Pinky, the race is starting!”

Too late, Brain.

And we’re off!

Bye, Pinky.

“There’s baloney in our slacks…~”

Pfft.

So as the race goes on, we get to know a few more of the horses’ names: Isle of Yap (a nice callback to the first PatB short), Flamiel (which is apparently the WB writers’ favourite word?), and Leggo-my-Egoiste (a double reference to an old Eggo slogan and the name of a cologne).

The other jockeys are more than a little surprised by Brain and his steed taking the lead early in the race.

Phar Fignewton is trailing way behind.

Meanwhile, Pinky’s woken up from fainting, seeing the oncoming horses—

--and promptly freaks out and stumbles back down again.

“Victory, she waits for me! Oh, the do-dah-day!”

You really have to stop tempting fate like this, Brain.

Phar Fignewton’s very tired, but what’s this?

Is that…Pinky in harm’s way?

ThePowerOfLove.mp3

Determined and fueled by her inexplicable crush, Phar Fignewton starts gaining ground on the other horses.

Brain didn’t calculate for this!

…Oh! Hi, Warners! Looks like they’re cheering Phar on.

“Oh no! Yah! Yah! Yah!”

I didn’t think whips were allowed in races like the Kentucky Derby, but apparently they are. Their use was only restricted—not banned—in the summer of 2020, which is alarming to say the least.

On a different note, I know some of you folks are now jotting down the fact that Brain knows how to use a whip. I see you.

She makes the save!

And she also wins the race! Way to go, Phar Fignewton!

“In the words of the great Willie Shoemaker: ‘Nuts!’”

It was a good try, Brain, but honestly I’m glad you failed this time if only so that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself with your actual world domination plan’s failure later. Maybe take a couple nights off to rest up a bit and formulate plans that aren’t totally bonkers, hmm?

I might as well go ahead and talk about this now. I…am conflicted on this whole Phar Fignewton thing. It makes for a very strange one-off joke about Pinky instantly falling in love with a distaff counterpart of his that’s a horse for whatever reason…but the fact that she’s not a one-off character is baffling in and of itself. Like I’ve said before, she’s mentioned a couple of times going forward as being Pinky’s girlfriend, or as a bizarre joke at Pinky’s expense about him being in/having been in a relationship with a horse. There’s even a small running gag about Pinky’s reaction to people’s disgust about it: “People can be so intolerant!”. I don’t know if the joke is supposed to be one about racial segregation or a wink and nod to queer folks in the only way that the writers could get away with in a cartoon at the time (in a “see, Pinky’s down for a relationship with anyone, even outside of his species!” type of way).

Phar Fignewton herself is a sweetie but besides that she has no personality to speak of and we’re just meant to assume based on physical appearance that she is equivalent to Pinky. And like, she hasn’t been uplifted to human levels of intelligence and sapience like Pinky has because of Acme Labs, but she seems to be naturally sapient for some unknown reason and just simply unable to speak English.

On top of all this, the relationship is very shallow and the only reason we’re given as to why Pinky likes her is because he finds her pretty. It’s perfectly in character for Pinky to easily fall in love, as he does so with other animals a couple more times in the spin-offs, but it just feels weird that this is the one that sticks around purely to become a running gag that gets mentions that are sometimes literal years apart from one another.

And listen, I know the writers most likely made this a thing just because they thought it was a funny joke and a few of them managed to remember about Phar and would use Pinky dating her as a gag. I know this. But it doesn’t make it any less confusing and weird. I remember the jokes about Pinky and horses from way back when I first watched Animaniacs and the PatB spin-off when I was a kid and I never had any context for it because I don’t think I ever saw this specific episode. Coming back as an adult and seeing all these episodes in order and watching this one in particular and finding out the context is “Pinky thinks a horse is pretty and the horse and him are in love and long-distance dating now” is both underwhelming and leaves me with more questions than answers.

…Also, if my earlier theories on why the writers made this joke are correct, does this mean Phar Fignewton is metatextually a beard for Pinky?

I just don’t know, folks. You’re welcome to leave your thoughts on this in comments.

Let’s wrap this up.

So as we can see, Brain is, as usual, back to work on another plan that involves—

—a goddamn cannon, holy shit! What is he using the glue for? That’s a little ominous, given what’s been involved in this episode.

There’s a hammering noise in the background and we see Pinky putting up a photo of Phar Fignewton.

“Pinky, will you please stop that? I’m trying to concentrate on tomorrow night!”

Wow, you’re more irritable than usual, Brain. I didn’t think some delicate hammering would annoy you that much.

“Mwah!~”

…Despite my ramblings earlier, that’s very cute of you, Pinky. I’m sure you could’ve gotten a better photo, though.

“Why, Brain, what’re we gonna do tomorrow night?”

Try to take over the world, of course! Right, Brain?

“Guess.”

…

Umm, wow. That’s a first. You look like you’re absolutely enraged, Brain. All this over some hammering sounds?

This had me taken aback a bit when I watched it the first time, not gonna lie. We’ve seen Brain after a plan’s failure plenty of times before. He’s been frustrated, sure. Humiliated at times, or maybe he just sighs in resignation and walks off into the sunset. It always ends with him simply using these feelings to fuel the fire in him to do better tomorrow night.

This is the very first time we’ve seen him jumpy and irritated at the most minor of things and so angry that he literally refuses to participate normally in his and Pinky’s shared catchphrase. And this was for a plan that was just to fund the real plan! So why is this time any different?

Oh.

OH.

Okay, that’s… That makes a lot of sense, actually. Damn.

Hey, fanfic writers? Ya’ll ever use this as the very first time Brain experiences romantic jealousy? Let me know.

“Oh yeah, try to take over the world. Right.”

I think even Pinky’s put off by this development, if his hesitant and quiet finishing of the saying is anything to go by.

And that’s what we end off with.

All in all, this episode is a wild ride of strangeness in small moments and bizarre additions to lore and ends on the first subversion of the long-running closing gag of the series. It’s not exactly a great episode, but that ending is intriguing enough for one of the main purposes of this rewatch. In short, I’m just baffled.

Luckily the next episode is much better. Next time, the mice head on down to Tennessee to seek world domination via country music.

See you then!

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #Jockey For Position

[magiccallie]

So I wrote down my thoughts as i watched through most of Season 2 of Scooby Doo Mystery Inc, and would like to share them, major spoilers below cut

Notes of Season 2 of Scooby Mystery Inc Shout out to this jock bully(?) who upon encountering a monster threatening a girl, did no hesitate to take on said monster, recuse said girl, and protect her as they escape Fred really needs to talk to someone about his new parents, who are now living in his house with him???? The house of the man who took him from them?????? Bronson might not be exactly straight looking at how he acted around the old mayor vs the new one, but *shrugs* Jock Strikes again, is this gunna be the twist? That''s a really douchy twist to pull a stunt like this Love how-I mean this is just the plan. He wanted girls too so he set up the same scenario. Is this extra set up by the parents to get him to trust them that is some next level douchery/ Scratch that on Bronson, omg Oh shit starting with a furry attack this is going to be a weird episode the gang's meta knowledge coupled with their sure willingness to go along with tropes and shit makes for great dialogue oh *oh* this is the episode where we get a peak to see just how big the picture is, love the lore building. knew this episode was gunna be good is that a demon? the furry isnt the mosnter??? ummm...weve been getting hints, are things getting real? so we've established motive for why someone whould want this plavce closed, but actually tangent but dont a lot of these monsters that they encounter seem like, weirdly powerful and mobile for costumes oh there's the furry that red aura is a...the things that happen around it are something deeper it seems. fascinating. is the red just representative of fire hallucinations? those seemed a bit real in effect for hallucinations... this guy, like my manager, needs to hire a little more staff occult magic book falls from the library to gang, and no one is as concerned as they should be nazi robot nazi robot get BJ on the phone Cassidy is the kinda retired PC that the players can strive to be Shit is getting real quick isnt it. Wait is that a seal. does Cassidy die? I know about a certain other death that makes me sad, but i dont want Cassidy to die too this episode is a rollercoaster of odd events weird hologram disguise for Paraclese is nifty Seeing the tragic fate of past groups is...well obviously sad oh dear, she does die huh its super low key, but it plays at the terrifying corrupting ordeal of the eldritchstuff really well with the lore notes bear troubles oh that badge...is that where they buried him? that's...kinda grim they have stealth suits and killer nazi robots? why have the evil guys not won yet? there is a bomb and they are not evacuating. There is a BOMB and they are not evacuating oh the bear can talk, how dare i assume that a bear is incapable of speech the bear is a twunk, scratch that, still a bear, is...he doing a christiphor walkin impersonation? aaand that’s enough for tonight, starting fresh later We're back, 13 more episodes oh so were getting into why i don’t like astrology Enigma machine omg. sorry, im a sucker for bits like that i wanna have long white hair too, i could rock that look How does Paraclese still have an accent after all these years? It is like destiny's Rasputin and just a stubborn superiority complex? something about visiting villains you can talk to in a prison is-ohp thats just all of um huh, cameo episode- err, anyways, it just paints a delightful scene about the relationship of the protags and antags and villainy as a whole in the world well this is horrific, throw some brownish red stuff around and it would be a silent hill scene update: still gay Thirteen more episodes and they have the disk...that does not bode well for what is going to happen the writer's willingness to reference other hannah barbara characters/shows is great oooo anticaptilism, BF is scoring points excuse me???? cyborg dragon girl???? he cant even call her by her name through most of the episode wtf??????? see now im at the point i gotta ask, is this a real ghost thing, or a fake ghost thing? ah i understand now youd think he would be more willing to explain to th-there we go so the animal companians are more suceptible, but they all have the risk Paraclese talking about these cattle is every gm talking about their homebrew monsters omg writers wth was that conclusion for the cattle im dying sk-ska zombies. ska. zombies. i can pick it up oh like the dancing plauge but worse, nifty these ghosts are rude boys, like, thats actually one of their names. And just caught that it the band name is skatastic oh they mentioned the dancing plauge, thank you wtf 101 the 'lighthearted' tone of this episode speaks dark tidings about the horrors to come aaah, hex girls, omg oh damn, update again: still hella gay bards duels be like, but for real loving this more and more young me is crazy about having the hex girls interact with a magicy thing like the disks, the rest of me is concerned at the events that are taking place scooby agrees, and his dog girl friend...well that was something Ricky displaying increasing regrets is not going to do good things for his lifeespectancy ohp then he drags in the other two well, i didnt see that coming for the criminal identity this little girl just had her mom ditch her for a stranger that robbed them, the heck i should probably eat dinner at some point, or like, anything at somepoint... calling it now, this guy is a circus performer/stunt driver, and if he is the random hired british poolboy it is a fake accent he's lureing women away with emotional intemacy. thats funny in itself, btu that they accept so readily still isnt normal oh and apparently kinks, lured with kinks so hes going to be the librarian dude then?? maybe? k, so at least i got that o.o O.O, well, that was quite the lead up and explanation food on plate, depresso in heart, ready to continue so they have to know right? like, this is a planned trap since Fred is 'the only one who knows where it is' doesnt explain Fred though, or how the fake acts "jeepies you found my scarf" oh there it is, they are after the info from him and its all fake, not some hell vision to show why he has to suceed Fred knew first? good on him plastic surgery, holy crap, next level villainy here holy shit they're all in puragoty thanks to the corrpution?????? Going back to early about the horrifying nature of all this. it is just so immensly sad watching them go through these bits. Cool, but sad. Velma demonstrating why thinking and understanding are not always good in eldritch horror games so he's got a guilt complex? heart felt talk with Mayor Dad awwww, poor Velma doesnt think she's pretty guessing...well id say the wife of Enrique but that seems too easy some how, stiill shes the only offered suspect beside Enrique himself thus far *deep sigh* i will never guess any culprit i bother to write down correctly would be a real move of the writers to Uzumaki the town two day deadline given, props to velma for having the foresight to model the disks in a digital format incase theyre lost mad max mystery machine sounds like a doom metal synth wave fusion song things are going too well... How many giant evil doors will this lair have? alchemy. of course. should have guessed. is...is this the episode where Marcie...oh no oh at least shes trying good on her, she's going down in style and flame... oh. ya know, even knowing it was coming and talking it up a sentence before, not a happy event this is a nifty dungeon last episode, hell of an opening/recap wh-what fghaseguk this went batshit didnt it. i wish i had the willingness to write at unhinged as these writers one more media that i am surpised didnt end in a poly relationship this climax is eerily familiar to the live action movies at times and then they all died and went to heaven aww Rickee and Cassidy *and* Velma and Marcie, aww, my heart will heart to think about that one for long, but awwwww Miskatonik University, or however the heck it is said. i thought it was going to be a one off joke but wasn't expecting that.

#scooby doo #scooby doo mystery inc #scooby doo mystery incorperated #mystery inc #mystery incorporated #scooby doo mystery incorporated

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

Ok so reasons why i Love Warcraft the Beginning, and why its perfect and i hope for more. Might be a little incorherant cus i'm just doing my thoughts as they come. i  dont have the time to spend hours writing articles i'm not being payed for.

Yes Warcraft is a great, i say Perfect movie. "But it has flaws". Everything does. That perfect movie you love so much? someone found it boring, someone found it pretentious , someone found it stupid. Perfect pizza? someone doesnt like your toppings, someone thought there wasnt enough for it. A movie, a show, a book, art in general cannot be judged by an arbitrary list of items it must meet to sufficient quality. "no plotholes, great acting, good effects" are not good qualifiers. Most ppl dont know the meaning of plotholes, different tons of story require different acting (Casablanca is seen as a masterpiece but i dislike movies of that era because the acting is over the top, stiff, and campy. however that does not make them bad, it just means i dont like it). Really the only way a piece of art can be judged is by judging it based on what it TRIED to do. If your character is suppose to show they are angry in this scene and they just seem constipated then you did fail and that was bad acting. But if your character is suppose to be angry and some of the audience thinks they should have acted a different way, then thats just a difference of opinion between author and audience.

So what did Warcraft the Beginning TRY to do? Pay homage to the original franchise, tell a heartfelt complex story, give a larger than life epic, and reinterpret the story into something thats better than it was and can be accepted by a general audience

-So i love how much the art, style and themes embraced the franchise. The intro was PERFECT. The little cameos and everything were well done. For some weird reason a few thought that was cringe but part of good cameos is world building. They arent putting "this way to the stoutelager inn" so fans can go "i get that refrence" they are doing it to create  a scene that involves a sign to an inn and might as well be a real one from the story, right? The franchise STARTED as Err orcs bad humans good but it has since evolved past that, and you saw that with the  theme of the H and A heroes banding together against guldan. The armor and costumes were perfect, using the major flair of warcraft without being overly done. Llane's and Lothar's armor is perfect example.

some people have a problem with what i'd say was the "family friendly epic fantasy adventure" aspect of the movie. yes pacing was quick but when you go into a weird story you just suspend disbelief and take things as you go. They never explain how the Flashy Thingies in men in black work, they just do. you accept it and move. And there was some slightly heavy handed themes and moments. but thats what we call Camp. Its a fantasy adventure, you have snark, a few cheesy lines, hope vs darkness and all that good stuff. I remember when Wonder Woman came out an interviewer asked about the....hammy? ending. i think they used  a different word. but the idea was that it seemed...bad? that the ending revolved around Wonder woman's faith in humanity, faith in goodness and trying to do good, was naieve. And Patty Jenkens said that she thinks the world needs more hope like that, not everything is doom and gloom and the point of a hero is to be hopeful.

A GOOD movie, a PERFECT movie doesnt need to be high art. Ppl talk about inception cus it was so intense but IMO if half the audience doesnt know whats happening then its not so good is it? and like i said So many "great perfect movies' in history are boring, or weird or unlikable to many people. And i think its a great detriment to the world that people got to act like only high art movies that win awards are any good.

And then there is the story and charactes. I loved Lothar and Llane, very relatable and good example of heroic men. The mirror between the father Lothar and Durotan was great. I loved how well they did the orcs, just everything about them. Like their meeting and having it so that you could only understand the side you were listening from, if you listen when its focused on the orcs and Garona is translating you can hear Llane speaking something that is NOT english. But like even with the kinder orcs they kept the furiosity. Durotan makes it clear that their world is dead and they cannot simply go back, and thats very realisitc. even were it not for guldan if he was fighting to save his people he'd willingly fight the humans if they tried to stop them. It was great seeing them touch on the idea of the fel infused orcs with Medivh's ability to create spells that specifically target them. Oh and geeze his whole arch. the actor and directing i think did a great job of showing him struggling to do as much as he could to help the alliance against the orcs. He seemed addled, like he was losing it or on drugs but you find out it is really because the fel is taking hold of him. thats what was great about the last guardian is the whole Inner monster storyline. Betrayal of one's self and all that. And it showed the variety in the orcs, yes you had dark ones who embraced the pillage too, and its a shame that the campfire scene "but you're...Green" scene didnt make it. Kadgar, did a good job with the whole "he's smart enough to notice when his 'betters' are wrong but he's young and inexperienced and doesnt know how to assert himself" was great.  Its funny cus some didnt like he didnt age, but far as i can tell nothing in warcraft even addressed that. Like he mentions once or twice in the book and in click dialogue that it sucks losing his childhood but there is no angst about it. you wouldnt know he's only in his 40s now. Even his little cinematic before legion focused on him taking up the mantle of the guardian.

And then there are the improvements it made. Rise of the Horde was good but they didnt have time to have the 'non fel orcs being around fel turn slightly green', so it was a good choice to have that dynamic visual change. Lothar's son arc i think gave him more of a personal reason to be invested in this other than "defense of our nation". And it kinda sucks in the original narrative that stormwind just kinda got its butt kicked. I'm sure it will still fall but it will be nice to see more effort put into it. And goodness we actually got to see varian's mother? and she was an important part of the story? she was an interesting character and had influence and was crucial to getting garona on their side. Speaking of , Garona by herself is the best change and alone makes this movie better than the original. She is a product of love, the first human/orc couple, presumably when Medivh was first exploring Draenor. And not a tool created by rape? Its so great that this shitty aspect of the story generated from the naive creator's idea of womens place in stories, was rewritten. Oh i'd be the first to say it wasnt malicious. but between Kerrigan and Sylvannas and Garona, heck this attitude exists today. That a man's humanity comes from his family, that he is violent emotionless and a killer but a wife brings out his peace and children his humanity . so the worst thing that can happen to him is his family is killed, thus bringing the beast back. And that for a Woman she is defined by her love of the man, does she reject him or accept him, does she play hard to get or support him? how freely does she give herself to him. And thus the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to have her body violated, and what many guys who grew up in the 70s-90s fantasy era that was the go to story. Woman is violated (in body) and gets her revenge and feels empowered by killing her rapist. while the man is violated by those he LOVES being killed, and empowered by avenging them and finding a new family (or a way to honor the dead ones)

So yea its REALLy awesome that this story rejected that whole farse and said "no, the key behind saving both peoples is a young woman who exists because 2 people from different planets loved each other"

#decided to leave this hear to repost elsewhere when people are awake #warcraft #duncan Jones #warcraft the beginning #the world of warcraft

[fc5holidayexchange]

FAR CRY 5 HOLIDAY EXCHANGE FIC

The Family That Cooks Together

Jacob Seed, Joseph Seed, John Seed do some brotherly bonding over cooking. This should go well. Cameos of Sibyl Rook and Hope County citizens near the end.

@fadedjacket​

Here’s my gift to you! I really hope you like it. I tried my best to make it as wholesome and happy as possible😊 Happy holidays!!

——————————————————————————————————————

It had only been seven months since the move to Hope County when John came with an invitation. “We’ve been invited to a county social event, and we need to bring a dish!”

Joseph looked up from his books, head tilted in curiosity at his brother’s statement.  He had set up a mini-study upon the kitchen table, much to John’s consternation whenever it was dinner time (“Joseph, I have a library and you have a wonderful space in your room!” “But I can be together with you in this room”).

“Ah, the Rye’s barbecue? Pastor Jerome told me today. So we got a proper invite, hmm? That’s wonderful,” Joseph said, ever placid with a small smile on his face. Jacob had only let out a grunt from his spot on the couch, not even registering what John had said as he kept working on the wooden figurine he was carving.

John held in his disappointment at his surprise being ruined to give a sharp look at Jacob and the wood shaving littering his once-pristine floor. “Could you have done that outside, Jacob? Now I’ll have to clean the floor.”

“But if I was outside, then I wouldn’t be able to hear about the party you and Joseph will be heading to, and what food you two come up with,” Jacob said, a small smirk on his weathered features.

“You’ll be coming too, Jacob. Hope County is a close-knit community, so we should do our best to be friendly,” Joseph said, his brows furrowed.

“Joseph is right. You can’t just be a shut-in at my place and only go out to hunt when it suits you,” John added, lips pursed.

Watch me, Jacob thought, but knew better than to say it and have to deal with Joseph’s disappointed face and John’s worried henpecking. He simply shrugged and went back to carving, pointedly ignoring the stink-eye from John.

John let out a huffy sigh before looking back at Joseph with a smile. “I hope it was alright that I accepted for all of us. The Rye’s seem to be an important family in the county and open to getting to know us better. I’m even going to learn some tips about flying from Nick.” And eventually outshine him, but John didn’t voice that out-loud. Joseph would chide him on the sins of pride and Jacob might burst out laughing, like the first time John mentioned an interest in flying.

“When’s the party?” Joseph said, standing up from the desk.

“Two days, but I’m sure you two will come up with a wonderful dish to bring to the event,” John said with a glowing smile. It faltered a bit as he took his brother’s face: Joseph in surprise and Jacob’s dry scowl. “Was it something I said?”

“There’s no way you’ll be able to whip something up in two days’ time. Do you even know how to cook, John?” Jacob asked. “And don’t shrug your project onto us, since it was you who accepted this invite.”

“Well, how hard can cooking be? And of course I will help out; a simple slip of the tongue. If we put our minds together and work hard, then there’s nothing we cannot achieve!” John said with confidence.

Even Jacob looked impressed. He should be a motivational speaker with that type of confidence and bullshit spewing from his mouth.

Joseph was beaming as he put his hands upon John’s shoulders and bumped heads with his younger brother. “That’s a wonderful attitude to have, John. It will be a wonderful time spent together and with others. You agree, right, Jacob?”

Jacob knew exactly how this was going to play out as he saw John’s beaming, borderline smug face and Joseph’s eyebrow raised as he looked at Jacob with hope. He loved his brothers, but having looked after them when they were children and studying their behaviors and personalities upon finally being reunited gave him an idea about what was about to happen over the course of these two days, and thus began to come up with a backup plan for when shit hit the fan and his brothers needed his help. That’s what older brothers do.

For now, Jacob shrugged and let out a disgruntled sigh. “I don’t know how much help I’ll be in this, but I’ll lend a hand if you need it.”

Joseph and John’s smiles were bright. Not even Jacob could be too disgruntled at them. He would at least see his brother’s happy and get some entertainment from this experience.

“Wonderful! I think this will be a fruitful project to bond. We’ll be ready before the event!” John said with a positive tone.

———————————————————————————————————————

It was no surprise John had given up the following day. The brothers had spent the night looking through websites about what could be a good side for a barbecue. But every time Jacob or Joseph thought they had found a winner, John resolutely shot down every single suggestion. It was evident to both older brothers that the John had been raised with a silver spoon when it came to fine dining. Jacob mused if, had they stayed in Georgia, he would even dare to dine on any Southern fair that wasn’t served up in a five-star restaurant.

“John, you cannot simply shoot down every idea that is suggested. We only have today to prepare a dish for tomorrow’s event. We have to agree on something,” Joseph said with exasperation tinging his voice. Patience was a virtue that Joseph managed well, but John was really trying him at this moment.

“I’m sorry, Joseph, but none of these are good enough! They are all so…unrefined.” John flipped through each page on the kitchen counter, unimpressed with every option he saw.

“John, it’s a barbecue, not a state dinner,” Jacob scoffed. “I don’t think they’ll care much about what they put in their mouths as long as it tastes charred.”

“Well, I want to show these hick—err, country folk, that we have great skills they’ve never seen before. It’s to make a good first impression and take pride in what we can accomplish.”

Oh, John. Pride is the most dangerous sin and you’re practically swimming in it… It took all the willpower Joseph held within him not to snark back, reminding himself that this is his little brother who has been led astray and just needed more subtle guidance.

Joseph put on a placid smile and placed a hand on John’s back, subtly gesturing towards the front door. “You’re right, John. We cannot simply give them a dish. Why don’t you head to the store for some ingredients or homemade sweet tea.”

“Well, sweet tea does sound nice, and buying alcohol wouldn’t be good for baby Rye. But why should I go all the way to the store for a few ingredients for a drink? What about the dish?”

“You leave that to me and Jacob. You have an important task that will help us. I doubt any of these people have tasted homemade, Georgia sweet tea. They will be impressed with the effort and passion you put into creating something from scratch. Will you do that for us?”

The smile and conviction with which Joseph said this lit up John’s face and his blue eyes twinkled at the project his amazing older brother had given him. He went to put on his duster coat and grab his keys, saying with enthusiasm, “Leave it to me, you two! I’ll be back with only the finest ingredients for the best southern sweet tea that Hope County has ever seen!”

“Make sure to get a pound of sugar. None of that Splenda shit, only real and pure cane sugar,” Jacob called. He nodded as John waved a hand in acknowledgement and the younger Seed was out the door.

Once he was sure John was out of hearing distance, Jacob turned to Joseph. His middle brother’s back was to him as he began preparations by digging out a steel pot and a mixing bowl, murmuring to himself.

“That was pretty cold of you, Joe. In another life, you could’ve been the leader of the next Jonestown,” Jacob said.

“I’m not being hurtful. John is simply overwhelmed by this task and I just gave him proper guidance. He’ll make a wonderful sweet tea and this will give me time to create a suitable dish. Now, what type of cheese did she use…“

Joseph took a peek into the refrigerator. “Cheddar and mozzarella. That will have to do.”

“And what are you going to be making?” Jacob asked, genuinely curious as Joseph gathered food supplies with a faraway stare.

“Macaroni and cheese. Faith used to cook a wonderful recipe for the two of us. I can remember some of it, and I figured how difficult can it truly be to recreate?”

Jacob looked skeptical, but decided to avoid any more line of questioning. Joseph’s wife and unborn child, along with their childhood and separation, would only dredge up unhappy memories. Who knows, maybe his old lady showed Joseph a thing or two about cooking.

——————————————————————————————————————

John felt he wasn’t gone for that long. He had run to the closest grocery store and (meager as it was) quickly found some tea leaves and sugar and checked-out. It wasn’t like he followed the road signs either (although, who in Hope County did? When in Rome, as the saying goes), so he must have averaged a speed of 90 MPH for the trip.

It was not, however, fast enough to thwart the catastrophe that took place in his kitchen.

John suspected that something was awry when he stepped through his front door. There was thick black smoke hanging near the ceiling and all of his smoke alarms were going off. Even the one near his bedroom, which he was sure he took the batteries out of, but God worked in mysterious ways.

“Joseph, Jacob?!” The homeowner shouted, making his way toward the kitchen, “What’s going on?! Are you all alri—” He was cut off as he opened the kitchen door. Acrid black smoke poured out to him, and he couldn’t help by cough and gag as it filled his lungs.

“Ah, John,” Joseph, tranquil as ever replied, not bothered by the fact that his clothes where covered in off-white mornay sauce, slightly blackened in some places. “I may have made a mistake somewhere in the recipe.”

“Probably when he tried to melt cheese and flour together,” Jacob said as if nothing was amiss, sitting in his corner carving away at a small soldier figurine. Was he using a wooden spoon as a carving block?! “He kept saying it was the best way to make a beach-a-mal or something, but I don’t think mac n’ cheese should look that black.”

“I’m gone…for 5 minutes,” John said, running his hand down his face, doing his best to keep his wrath in check. “Why did you even try to make macaroni? I don’t think I even have milk in the house or, well, macaroni noodles.”

“I would have thought you would know about making the best of a bad situation, John,” Joseph said. “Besides, we had half-and-half and ziti. It’ll be fine.”

“No, it won’t.” Both younger and older had managed to agree on something for once. Joseph only wished it wasn’t against him.

“I got the ingredients for the sweet tea, but my kitchen looks like the apocalypse ran through!” John said as he began opening windows to let the smoke out. “There’s no way I’ll be able to cook it up tonight when cleaning this kitchen will take an entire day and the party’s tomorrow!”

“Well, we need something for the party,” Joseph said, removing the pot of blackened ziti and flour sauce from the burner. “This looks…edible?”

Jacob and John stared into the pot. After a moment, John spoke up, “I think we need to throw out that pot.”

Jacob grunted in agreement.

“What are we supposed to do then?” Joseph asked. “Bring nothing?”

“Oh my God, who the hell cares?” Jacob said, getting fed up with this stupid party that he didn’t even want to go to. He tossed his completed figurine aside and threw his hands up.

“Language,” Joseph said mildly, sadly looking at his failed meal. Faith and their little angel would be looking down at him with disappointment.

“The invitation clearly states we need to bring a dish!” John snapped, massaging his temples. “I will not be the only one among these hillbil—people to not bring a dish to a barbecue and make a bad impression.”

“John’s right. It wouldn’t be right to be graciously invited, and not deliver a gift to our hosts,” Joseph added, chucking the whole pot into the trash. He sighed and muttered, “Such a waste of food.”

Jacob sighed and looked at the clock as John turned off the alarms and Joseph halfheartedly tried to clean up his mess. It was 6:00. He was sure there was time for his brothers to keep making fuck-ups, but he would rather solve this quickly and efficiently, and just get this over with. “I’ll make the mac n’ cheese. You two get out of here, got get something to eat, and leave this to me.”

“You know how to cook?” John asked. He hadn’t seen his brother touch a pot or pan since they were kids. Joseph also looked surprised, but he seemed more enthusiastic in his brother’s commitment to their culinary cause.

“Who do you think was giving you meals when Old Man Seed was blacked-out drunk and mom locked herself in her room? Also, the army teaches you life skills,” Jacob mumbled. “I got it. No problems.”

“But shouldn’t we should stay and help you?” Joseph asked. “I don’t want you to do this alone.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Joe, but I’d rather you didn’t,” Jacob said. “It’ll be simple. If you guys start chiming in, I’m sure it’ll get FUBAR.”

Joseph still seemed unsure, but John saw this as an opportunity to abscond this hectic responsibility and get his loving, overbearing, catastrophic brother out of his home before he destroyed it. He had already grabbed Joseph by the shoulder and started dragging him out. “Okay Jacob, if you’re sure! Me and Joseph will grab something at the Spread Eagle! I’ll even ask Mary May if we can use her kitchen to make my sweet tea. We’ll grab you a burger!”

Jacob grunted and waved them off. Once he heard his youngest brother’s car peel out of the driveway, he got up from his seat, dusting the wood shavings off his lap, and cracked his back.

“Time to get to work,” he groaned, heading to a door.

John’s basement was more unorganized than Jacob remembered. During the move, instead of tossing out the majority of their old things, Joseph begged Jacob that they keep some of it for keepsakes. Who’d wanna remember our shitty past? But Jacob relented, and now was regretting it. It was a struggle to find any of their old things. He’d have to talk to his youngest brother about putting his toys in order later. Still, he was glad that he found what he was looking for: a green, wooden chest with black letters “U.S.A” emboldened on the top.

Grabbing the chest by the handles on each side, he lugged it up to the kitchen and put it on the dining table. He quickly undid the lock on the front and opened the chest, which was stuffed with piles of opaque, beige cellophane bags.

“Let’s see here…Menu #4 Cheese and Veggie Omelet; only if I want to poison people…Ah, Menu #10 Chili and Macaroni. Perfect. Let’s get this on the tray.”

Grabbing three of the beige bags labeled “MENU #10 Meals Ready-to-Eat (MRE),” he opened them up before grabbing a mess try from his trunk and pouring everything out onto the tray. The contents were more cellophane bags labeled with the contents they contained. He tossed the sides and accessory packets back into his trunk, to save for another rainy day.

“Hmm…Kippered Beef Snacks?” He stopped on one side, observed it, shrugged and opened it up. He began to snack on the jerky. “Alright, let’s get to cooking.”

He grabbed the odd item out in the pack, a green plastic bag known as a flame-less ration heater (FRE) and shoved the three bags of chili and macaroni inside of it. He went over to the sink afterwards and filled up a cup with a little water, and tossed it into the FRE before folding it over. In no time, it started to crackle and puff up as the exothermic reaction began making steam.

“Nice.” Jacob chewed through a piece of kippered beef. After about 20 minutes, the steam stopped escaping the FRE. Jacob carefully opened it and extracted the macaroni packets. Grabbing a knife, he opened the bags and poured them all out onto the tray.

“Huh.” He looked at the product. It was runny and certainly full of chili, but very little cheese. Looking through the contents of the MRE, he saw that he had six packets of “Cheddar with Jalapeno Spread.”          

This’ll work, Jacob thought, ripping open the little packets, and squirting them over his macaroni. He mixed it all together and…it formed into a glue-like paste. Crap.

Jacob looked at the mess on his tray and knew he had to fix it. Looking around the kitchen he had an idea. The old pot that Joseph used today was sitting in the trash, and it clicked in his mind; that’s how he’d thin the mac and cheese! Running to the cabinets, he grabbed another large pot and scrapped the gluey, chili and cheese noodle mixture off of his tray and into the pot before placing it in the sink. He turned the faucet towards his pan and let the water run for 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10!

“Perfect.” With a nod of confidence, Jacob turned off the faucet and stirred the pot vigorous. The result was creamy, if somewhat watery, macaroni and cheese with chili. He then set the pot on the semi-blackened stove (burner turned off, of course), threw his mess tray in the dishwasher and moved his trunk back downstairs before his brothers came home.

“Ain’t no one who can complain about this mac n’ cheese.”

———————————————————————————————————————

“It’s obvious they’re complaining about our dish,” John hissed through a pearly-white smile to Joseph and Jacob, glancing at some of the guests who were staring at the meal and discretely edging to a trash bin. “I saw the way Nick Rye shuddered when he caught sight of the mac and cheese. And how about when that Rachel Jessop drank some of my sweet tea? She looked like she had consumed acid!”

“John, please calm down. We are having a pleasant time,” Joseph said, a happy smile as he basked in the sun, holding his plate. He took a bite of the mac and cheese, and after working through his grimace, he swallowed with a calm smile.

When the brothers had gotten home from their dinner-out, John was excited to see the meal that would go with his perfect sweet tea. Mary May did snort a bit when they explained what happened, but she and her dad allowed them to use the kitchen to cook it up, as long as John kept his hands and pick-up lines to himself. Joseph thanked them and kept his brother out of trouble, even striking up pleasant conversation with the newest sheriff’s deputy, who introduced herself as Sibyl Rook. John actually did well on the tea, though Casey and Mary May side-eyed each other when they saw just how much sugar John added to the drink. Overall, it was a nice dinner and they were looking forward to their brother’s efforts.

However, taking one look at the concoction in the stove, they both quietly gave up and headed for bed, smiling through the pain as they congratulated Jacob for his wonderful meal and how impressed everyone would be tomorrow.

Jacob’s response? “They’d better be. They could have had Vomelet if I had been cruel enough.”

The brothers knew the mac and cheese had not been exactly well-received, though Jacob wasn’t offended like his little brother was on his behalf. He secretly got a thrill watching the party-goers look with hidden disgust and confusion, even holding in guffaws as they bravely tried to eat it. However, he did bond with Dutch, Eli and Jerome who, as fellow military veterans, could spot an MRE when they saw one and they had a laugh over the gross meals. Jacob even shared some of the candies he got from the package with Jerome’s young daughter Joy and some other kids, and actually finding himself enjoying the party.

Joseph and John also enjoyed the day despite knowing they had the worst dish, though John was aghast that only some people liked his sweet tea. He was seething when that boor Boshaw had the nerve to say to his face, “Johnny, no offense, but I get the feeling you’re trying to give us all dia-beetus with this drink. Shit’s hurting my teeth. I’ll still drink it, though, so good job on that front.”

His cousin, on the other hand, couldn’t get enough of the stuff and nearly chugged the entire jug. “Don’t listen to Sharky, amigo. Man, this stuff could have gotten the Monkey King through the worst of it. Do you wanna hear about my adventures with the Monkey King?”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I need to speak with Nick about some important matters,” John said hurriedly, and he spent most of the barbecue avoiding his new best friend.

Joseph watched his brothers from the shade of trees, having made sure to talk to everyone at the barbecue, ranging from polite conversation to offering gracious laughter when it came to ribbing the mac and cheese, responding with passive-aggressive “bless your hearts.”  Although the overabundance of social interaction had worn Joseph out, he felt a warmth in his heart to see Jacob’s rare smiles as he talked with Eli and Dutch about survival techniques, and John being the life of the party as he charmed many people and comically avoided Hurk.

“Ready to head home yet?” Joseph turned to the voice, and saw the young woman he spoke with the other night. Sibyl offered a friendly smile as she came next to him. “I’m pretty worn out myself. Just got through getting called a witch by that old hag Mable.”

“Some people have small minds, though it seems you would feel rather warm in that outfit.” Sibyl did have a unique fashion sense for a deputy. “Funeral couture,” as John had dubbed it.

She just shrugged. “Eh, you can put up with anything for the aesthetic. Still, it’s good you’re being received well. I was new here myself and surprised by how friendly everyone here is. It can get a bit smothering.”

“I’m content being anywhere, no matter how I’m received; I’m just happy to see my brothers doing well. We were born and raised in Georgia and had reunited after…painful separations. I felt we needed a fresh start, but deep down I was worried they wouldn’t like it here.”

Sibyl patted Joseph’s shoulders and gave him a wink. “Well, I think you’re all doing fine from the looks of it. Though I’d suggest keeping your brothers away from a kitchen until you get some cooking lessons in. Maybe you can show me some of your cooking sometime.”

Joseph let out a short laugh. “Maybe after some lessons myself. It seems John’s giving me a look of rescue. Perhaps we’ll call this a day.”

After departing from Sibyl, Joseph rounded up his brothers, they said their goodbyes, and retrieved an empty pitcher and a half-eaten Tupperware of watery mac and cheese (Kim Rye happily insisted on them taking home their leftovers).

As they drove away in their car, John said with a semi-content sigh, “Well, that could have been worse.”

“I know, you made a best friend, Johnny. Gonna invite Drubman and Boshaw to your next dinner?” Jacob teased as he drove on.

“Don’t you start! I saw you being Mr. Social with half the county, so you have no right to talk! Joseph, tell him to stop teasing me!”

Joseph simply smiled and looked out the window. May there be many more watery mac and cheese and barbecues to come.

#joseph seed/deputy #deputy oc #joseph seed #fluff/humor #no cult AU #brief mentions of Joseph's wife and kid #brief mentions of the seeds' past #mild joseph/sibyl #gift: fic #fadedjacket #submission

[amphtaminedreams]

S/S 2020 Fashion Month: A Basic, Uneducated Fashion Heaux’s A-Z of Everything Noteworthy (Part 2/3)

Hi to anyone reading,

Back at it again with the giving my unsolicited opinion on 2020′s spring/summer offering, I’m gonna hop straight into part 2 of my fashion month review!

Sorry to start with an underwhelming few but my compulsive tendencies are making it really hard to break out of this alphabetical structure (cry laughs whilst thinking about how long it took me to face up at my retail job last night because it would give me vaguely homicidal urges and make my fingers tingle every time a customer moved something slightly out of line), so I’m gonna whizz through a handful of collections. First up, Halpern:

Not much to say but I’m envious of the heavy liner (my hooded eyes could never) and I like the colour scheme. As for the 80s style metallic pink dress?

Helmut Lang:

And Hermes:

Of these 3 collections, Hermes is definitely the most interesting. I like the colour scheme and the utilitarian shapes and the tan coloured jackets are an absolute shoot. This is how you make safari look fresh, D&G take note.

Isabel Marant was okay. It’s cute, sure, reminds me of something Mary-Kate and Ashley would’ve come out with/worn in the 2000s, and there’s definitely some things I would wear, but I wouldn’t say it looks all that luxury. Pricey, sure, but like, Free People pricey, not designer pricey. As a collection, it’s not all that conceptual, unless the concept is L.A girl does a Starbucks run after her bikram yoga class. What I will say though is that some of the S/S 2020 commercial trends are becoming clear: white cheesecloth pieces, peasant blouses, cowboy boots, scrappy sandals, neutral tones, and bandana print. 

Now onto the darling of high fashion Twitter: Jacquemus.

As far as presentation goes, this has to be one of my favourite set-ups of the season; a hot pink runway running through a lavender meadow is as canny and serene as those who sing the praises of Simon Porte Jacquemus would have you expect, and the clothes were easy, breezy and beautiful, even if there is an element of getting dressed in the dark going on with the styling which put me off including a few otherwise gorgeous pieces. It might not be 100% my style but you can tell this is a brand of the future which is only going to go from strength to strength.

And everything was beautifully and purposefully crafted on the runway with J.W Anderson this year. The pieces are graceful and timeless whilst still easy to envision as something a modern woman would throw on to (very fashionably) run some errands in the city. This was also one of the handful of shows (IIRC! This might be a case of extreme deja-vu!) where we saw the sandal straps tied over the trousers, I’m guessing to accentuate the ankles, and...I’m surprisingly here for it? Though in a sense it kinda resembles when I accidentally get my work trousers tucked into my slipper socks, it’s an interesting touch and adds a bit of a shape to otherwise billowing bottom halves.

Following Jacquemus’ lead (or vice versa, I’m way too deep into this fashion month haze to work out who went first at this point), Lacoste also put on a co-ed show. Otherwise crisp and preppy as per, the neckerchiefs (even if seeing them all next to one another does give off a bit of a Disneyland Main Street barbershop quartet vibe) and vinyl/wet-look/PVC/I’m still not sure what differentiates the 3 coats were an out of the box touch for them and I really liked it. It’s athleisure, but more like something Hayley Bieber would’ve worn as part of her Princess Diana inspired shoot than anything I’d wear to the gym.

LMAO, as if I go the gym. But you get my point. Next, Loewe:

Delicate, feminine and all around delightful, the S/S 2020 Loewe collection is up there with Chloe and Brock when it comes to most spring appropriate. More chiffon, lace and doily-like detailing, please, the old woman in me lives for this kinda thing made fashionable. Like with J.W Anderson, you can tell the design team wanted to do something different without just throwing shit onto their pieces for the sake of being wacky, and so we end up with these dramatic, slightly geometric waistlines and almost angelic Victorian nightgown inspired dresses that kinda make me wished that 1). ghosts existed and that 2). I lived back in that era so I could die some tragic death wearing any one of the dresses on the left in the top 3 rows and then haunt the shit out of everyone. That would really be an iconic fashion moment. Also wonderful, imo, was Louis Vuitton:

The mix between 60s and Edwardian I never knew I needed, as opposed to Gucci’s forward thinking take on the former decade, Louis Vuitton takes it back even further and throws in late 19th/early 20th century structures and references. I adore the what seems to be a mix between brocade and paisley print and the exaggerated collars are a very cute touch. The jacket on the top left is a highlight, a more neutral version of the similar catsuit seen at the Longchamp show (I couldn’t personally pick enough highlights from that to include it), and I now more than ever really want to try and pull off a sweater vest. The shoes might not be the most exciting thing ever but they’re also a personal favourite, from the knee high boots to the loafers with the LV moniker.

Maison Margiela was very cool and again, I’m in love with the shoes and just the accessories in general, ESPECIALLY those hats. I don’t know if I’m way off base here but this show is almost a modernised, fashionable version of a 1940s period drama about WW2 pilots and evacuees. Yes, maybe I am just getting that solely from the trench coats and the naval influences and the exaggerated collars but I think with that list I made quite a case for that perspective, right? Right.

And completing this holy trinity (appropriating the term I usually reserve for Emma Watson, Emma Stone and Emma Roberts is not without careful consideration) is Marc Jacobs. One of my ultimate favourites of this season, this collection is absolutely EVERYTHING: kitschy, dream-like, whimsical, over-the-top, and totally appropriate for your slightly eccentric aunt who always drinks too much wine and talks a lot of shit every time she comes over for dinner. I really feel like I walked into wonderland looking at this collection, and in the best way possible, it gives me a female Russell Brand in the 2000s’ wardrobe on crack. On the one hand we have these insanely beautiful and ethereal chiffon floral dresses but then we also have fricken top hats. Basically, it’s everything I love about fashion and I don’t know if anything can top it. Periodt (and I type that with a totally straight face). 

Next, onto another personal fave, Marchesa:

Which is as always, beautiful. I was going to write that if Disney princesses came to life and lived in the modern world (so, in other words, Elle Fanning), they would be wearing Marchesa and then I remembered that the film Enchanted exists and had a lightbulb moment and thought OH MY GOD IF THEY REMADE THAT IN 2019, THE DRESS ON THE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE ROW WOULD BE A PERFECT LEVELLING UP OF THE CURTAIN DRESS.

Anyways, favourites of the favourites are the bottom row; I would die for that feather trim. 

BUT where Marchesa is everything opulent, overly ornate and err-ing on “fussy”, Margaret Howell’s S/S 2020 collection is completely stripped back and just as effective, if not as to my taste. Very cool, very current, and altogether effortless (in a good way!), with this show Margaret Howell made mid-20th century utilitarianism relevant. I never thought I’d be praising the combination of bermuda shorts, crew socks and a beanie and yet here I am. Character development.

Next is Marine Serre:

Which I really like! The bottom row isn’t really to my personal taste but I can acknowledge that if I saw somebody wearing any one of those outfits I’d think they looked sick, and as for the first two rows, those mesh tops and the slightly chintzy florals are right up my alley.

Marques Almeida put out a really strong collection, imo. The blending of luxurious silhouettes and fabrics with street wear inspired prints and styling is a really interesting and unique contrast and if Billie Eilish ever decided to stop wearing those tweenie clothes and wanted to actually seduce somebody’s dad (I LOVE BILLIE EILISH AND I KNOW WHY SHE DRESSES THE WAY SHE DOES, IT’S A JOKE, PLS DON’T HATE ME), I’d love to see her wearing something like this. It’s a blend of punk, urban, and 2019 e-girl and has the kind of edge that Topshop has lost over the past couple of years that used to make it so aspirational to my 13 year old self. Of all the shows, it also probably has the most personally wearable accessories, and a shit tonne of cool make up looks I’d love to try if it weren’t for my lack of visible eyelid, lol.

Make up looks were a highlight of the Max Mara show too, for me anyway.

I otherwise wasn’t hugely keen on the collection, it being a little too matronly/Miss.Trunchbull-esque for my liking (wild card fashion inspiration of 2019, apparently?). The light paisley print dresses are very dreamy, though, and I can never resist a good suit. 

As for Michael Kors, dare I say it, but the basic bitch in me loved it. I know as a designer he’s not held in very high regard by the fashion community and I'm not saying it’s at all original but it did what it set out to do well; I mean, it’s quite fitting that he cameo-d in an episode of Gossip Girl because every outfit would be perfect for the Constance attending incarnation of Blair Waldorf, which is probably why I like the collection. Like yeah, it’s a bit of a Polo Ralph Lauren/Lacoste rip off but it’s daintier and more feminine and so I’m not gonna lie, I’m on board with it. 

Next, Miu Miu.

One of the collections I was most excited for, I was a little disappointed. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the collection, but I have never once disliked anything Miu Miu and I usually love it. There are things I love about this line too: the cream, floral lace-up boots, the off-the-shoulder cardigans, the houndstooth oversized coats and of course the fur-lined gilets. My mum used to buy me similar ones when I was a little girl and so they give me childhood nostalgia in the best way possible. I mean, the collection is as girly and eccentric as ever. I think it’s just a little too on the primary school librarian side for me, this time round. Sorry Miu Miu xoxo

Now I’m just gonna speed through a couple, starting with MM6 Maison Margiela, the younger sister to the more expensive regular Maison Margiela line:

And Monique Lhuillier:

So that I can get to one of my other ultimate favourite collections for S/S 2020: Moschino.

Oh my god, where to even start. Firstly, I might be reaching, but if this show is even remotely to thank for art nouveau mesh tops showing up in the Urban Outfitters new in section, then a very sarcastic thank you to Jeremy Scott. You just made ethical shopping a lot harder. HOW am I supposed to not buy an Alphonse Mucha top? HOW!? I mean, I’m sure I’ll manage (I’m on month 3 without a shopping spree I can’t actually afford now and yes, I am very much patting myself on the back), but HOW!?

But on a serious level, if renaissance was the print of 2019, which I’m still very much into BTW, bring on modern art as its 2020 replacement. The Pablo Picasso inspired show not only livened up a generally pretty predictable fashion month but it’s also got me searching up other times art has met fashion on the runway and thrown me down a particularly aesthetically pleasing wormhole I’m not sure I ever want to escape from (https://frontrowmagazine.ca/art-inspired-looks-were-all-over-the-runways-of-fashion-week-a74e8bc7ff0d and https://www.vogue.com/article/spring-2017-ready-to-wear-fine-arts-trends are good starting points!).

Mugler was also up there with the best of them, imo:

See, if the Moschino collection was all about dabbling in art class, Mugler’s S/S 2020 collection is its more mathematically inclined sister, all about sharp lines and deconstructed silhouettes and symmetry all whilst looking hot as fuck. So very Mugler, basically. 

Now, this reference might be slightly off because I haven’t actually SEEN Ex-Machina yet but I imagine if Kim Kardashian were to channel that movie for a costume party she’d end up wearing something from this collection. That sounds like a roast because Kim has worn some questionable outfits but I blame Kanye for most of that and I’m referring to her on a good fashion day, alright!?

As for Off-White, it’s obviously a lot more commercial than most of the lines I’ve reviewed so far. Like, I can see a lot of these outfits on a mannequin in Urban Outfitters (no, I am not being paid to namedrop them, about 3 people in total read this Tumblr so any kind of sponsorship money would be severely wasted on me). That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and I love all of these looks; it just seems unfair to compare them to the the Mugler or Moschino collections, for example. 

The stand outs for me are all on the bottom row: I would buy the utility vest, leather blazer and the all mesh turtleneck under washed-out tie-dye on the spot if I saw them in a high street store. Unfortunately, I feel like that’s kinda where they belong. You just expect collections to be a bit more conceptual, and this one is a little watered down, as much as it’s my style.

Oscar de la Renta was beautiful, of course. Not like I’m shook by how beautiful it is but kinda just what you’d expect from a brand with a name as poetic and fun to say as Oscar de la Renta. The silhouettes are dreamy and the details are as fit for a fairy princess (lmao) as ever. Plus can I just say how happy I am to see butterflies on dresses for adult women again!? And dresses worn by Blanca Padilla nonetheless!? Very here for it.

Next up is another on one of my fashion month highlights: Paco Rabanne.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT!

I mean, don’t get me wrong, something about this collection (I’m pretty sure it’s the knee high coloured socks) is giving me primary school teacher vibes, but I'm not mad about it. It’d be the kind of teacher who’s actually really good at their job and has loads of cool hobbies and a really hot boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband who you secretly want to be then you grow up/and or have a huge crush on. 

Like with Marc Jacobs, there’s obvious flower child elements here, and whilst on the whole the former took my breath away slightly more, this is a lot more wearable. My favourites are the paisley print dress and cape on the left in the very bottom row and all the chainmail pieces (which remind me of the dress Naomi Smalls wore in that whole club ninety-sixxxxx skit on drag race), plus that floral cut out dress with the trailing flute sleeves, which is absolute PERFECTION. 

The 70s influence was clear in Peter Pilotto’s S/S 2020 collection too from the abundance of tie-dye to the knit v-neck dress, zany colour and print being the very on-brand focus. That being said, this is definitely more of a street-style inspired collection than usual and whilst the floral suits and dresses on the 3rd row down are very typical Peter Pilotto, the tie-dye corset and combat trousers on the far right, second row from the bottom, are very Jaded London. As for the reoccurrence of the bucket hat, I’ve remained steadfastly against them for several years now (even when our Lord and Saviour Miss Robyn Rihanna Fenty started wearing them) but the way they’re done in this collection even I could definitely get behind; all in all, the show surpassed my expectations.

The same goes for Ports 1961, which was a lot more eccentric than I gathered is the norm from a few google searches. Honestly, I hadn’t really heard of the brand which, upon reading up on it, I feel very dumb for considering it has been around since (in the shock twist of the century) 1961.

Yes, I know how that sounds! But forgive me, I’m still learning:)

Anyway, the fishnet detailing alone pretty much sold the looks I picked out. Seriously, I got a pair of those bloody tights, like, 2 years ago when they became a thing again and now any outfit where I have my legs out feels incomplete without them. 

Next is Prabal Gurung, which, as far as presentation goes, was fucking STUNNING:

I mean, you could say that I’m easily impressed and that the presence of the bouquets won me over (and you’d definitely have a point there), but it’s also this year’s Givenchy haute couture-esque feathers, the trailing pearl necklaces, the exaggerated shoulders, the dreamy colouring, the everything looking like it could’ve grown off a very fashionably-inclined tree. Like, there’s a lot to love here, from the naturalistic elements, to the context behind the show, an ode to American fashion history and those cast out of it (and the notion of “being American” in general) for so long. 

Going from a high to a (personal) low, however, next we have Prada:

I don’t know, I get that it’s supposed to be simple and stripped back and dignified and whatever and I like the looks I picked but it’s just a bit blah for me. The bonnets that kept cropping up just didn’t do it for me and almost ruined what is an otherwise nice skirt suit (top right). Nonetheless, I like the silhouette of the sheer black dress and the the brocade print suit is really luxurious looking, even if the pattern is a *little* Wetherspoons carpet. 

Anyways, here’s a quick overview of Rag and Bone:

So that I can stop moaning and get onto a collection I REALLY liked: 

I am of course talking about Ralph and Russo. See, this is kinda what I expected from, like, Chanel and yet it’s Ralph and Russo that delivered. Also, it gives me Alessandra Rich vibes which is very much a compliment considering how much I love her designs. I mean, if Valley of the Dolls were to get another film remake in 2019, this is exactly what I’d like to see the female leads wearing, from the pastel suits to the satin kaftan style dresses. The yellow feather trimmed dress is practically a copy of something Marchesa has already done but it’s cute all the same. In my top 10 collections of the season, for sure.

Rick Owens was another strong collection; it goes without saying that it’s not the most wearable but that’s not really what Rick Owens is known for, so I wouldn’t expect anything else. If you want fashion on an alien planet, or something Lady Gaga would’ve worn in 2010, he's your man.

Next, Rodarte:

Obviously the dresses are beautiful and the set is magnificent, BUT...I’m really not a fan of the whole celebrities filling in for high fashion models thing. I like Lili Reinhart and I adore Kirsten Dunst, she’s been in a load of my favourite films, but in a similar vein to Dolce and Gabbana’s influencer show, it’s just distracting from the actual garments, if even worse because I don’t WANT to be distracted here (the same can’t be said for the D&G show, lol).  If anybody has read this far, let me know your thoughts! 

Roland Mouret was nice, and I always like a coed show, especially when a designer isn’t afraid to blur the lines of masculine and feminine. It’s fresh, lightweight and luxurious looking, Cannes film festival street style eat your heart out, and I love the colour palette.

Similarly, colour was my favourite thing about Sally LaPointe’s S/S 2020 collection. 

I would never think that teal and burnt orange would work together, let alone in some kind of faux leather, and yet here we are. Orange is in itself always an interesting colour choice, perfect for the summer with a tan, and I really love monochrome outfits, even though they’re something that ends up being quite pricey to put together; slight differences in tone are okay but if you just randomly throw together a few things and they’re too off, it really doesn’t work and you’d have been better off wearing contrasting colours. For that reason, I’m just gonna admire that all-pink outfit from a distance. 

As for Schiaparelli, it’s one I always look forwards to for the sheer weirdness. RTW isn’t quite as kooky as haute couture but still, the interesting choices are still there; what at first glance appears to be flame print is actually coils of hair, and paired with a water print suit is a sequinned jacket emblazoned with a paradisiacal mirage. Ornament-like facial decorations as seen in the over-exaggerated glasses worn with the pony hair suit are also one of my favourite new things to happen in the high fashion scene in the past couple of months and I can’t wait to see how they get watered down to become more approachable for us...regular, non-structurally blessed folks who can’t pull off anything and everything.

Simone Rocha was STUNNING. Romantic and ethereal, it’s druid goddess crossed with upper class Victorian woman of leisure, equal parts delicate and grungy, like a modern, fashion version of Lady Gaga’s Scathach in the Roanoke season of American Horror Story. You know, in the flashbacks, not in present day when she was all gross and like...scalping people and shit. Each dress is so ornate and has such an interesting structure, and the fabric choices give off an organic kinda vibe that create a handmade feel; the collection is, imo, really worthy of being shown under a haute couture heading. When it comes to my favourite element of the show, I’m torn between the petticoats and the hair accessories. I’m just gonna give a cop-out answer and say both. 

Stella McCartney on the other hand, is very much a clear ready-to-wear collection. 

It’s pretty, for sure. The pastel blazers paired with delicate white mesh tops underneath are a gorgeous combination for spring and I like the reoccurrence of the chain glasses (Gucci, right?). But I mean, when you go from Simone Rocha to this, it’s a bit anticlimactic. Plus, if I’m honest, kaftans are always going to remind me of Honey Mahogany from season 5 of Drag Race. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she’s a lovely person but her runway looks aren’t really ones I look back fondly on, and you’re lying if you say you enjoyed them for anything other than meme purposes.

Temperley is equally meh, though the return of the Erdem-style boating hats is getting me excited that high street retailers might actually pick up on the trend and bring out some cheap ones for me to embarrass myself by wearing. 

I also love a good 70s suit, the neckerchiefs are cute and there are some really delightful prints here that are a more unique approach to florals for spring.

Coming towards the end now, next is Thom Browne:

I LOVE this. Like, don’t get me wrong Rick Owens was cool but I adore how on the nose the concept is here; time to bring back all the Marie Antoinette puns I didn’t get to use in my Versailles Instagram post. I don’t know if it’s the history buff in me or the Sofia Coppola Stan but I will always be willing to sign any kind of treaty for anything related to the excesses of the 18th century French monarchy, and this is that turned up to 1000 infused with a dash of the Teletubbies, which sounds like a nightmarish concept, I know, but as high fashion it WORKS.

Tory Burch was very commercial, seemingly half inspired by Monterey yoga moms and the other half by Hamptons socialites. 

And then there was Valentino, which was fucking exquisite, imo. LIKE, CALLING DOCLE & GABBANA: THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE TROPICAL PRINT INTERESTING. YOU MAKE THE VELVET MONKEY’S ARM THE FRICKEN WAISTBAND. 

Seriously, though, I am enamoured with this colour palette; all the whites and golds are angelic and fr, I didn’t know until now that you could make neons this elegant. I’m also getting an almost clerical feel from a lot of these looks, with the plaited waistband on the black dress that’s 7th row down in the middle, the stunning red cape and the multitude of exaggerated neck ruffs. I think I’ve mentioned before but I always love religious references in clothing-I don’t think I’ll ever get over the 2018 Met Gala-and so whether I’m reading too much into it or not, this collection really did it for me.

Whilst it’s probably as far removed a collection from Valentino’s S/S 2020 contribution you can get, I also loved Vera Wang this season. It might purely (I PROMISE THIS IS MY LAST GOSSIP GIRL REFERENCE) be because it gives me Jenny Humphrey vibes and *controversial* she did have my favourite style of any of the main characters, but sue me, this is just the right amount of late 90s/early 2000s grunge. Deconstructed trashy goth it girl is an interesting concept to see on the runway and I completely support it. 

Versace on the other hand was very hit or miss. The looks I picked out I really loved but ultimately, for one of the household name brands, a lot of the actual garments were a bit pedestrian. I will say though that for me, it’s a case of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. The slicked back mermaid hair and the pops of colour in the makeup and the interesting necklines meant that when it was good, it was GOOD. However, overall, still a bit too 80s Miami businesswoman, and please GOD, can we leave that hideous J-Lo dress in the past, it should really not be the climax of the show in 20-fucking-19!

As for Victoria Beckham, I liked it, but it’s a bit of a Gucci copy, no? And no way near as interesting?

And on that note, I’m gonna have to cut this off. Super annoying but with only 5 collections left that I want to talk about, Tumblr is being a little bitch and will not let me add anything more to this post. So, see you in 5 for the final post!

Lauren x

#valentino #ss20 #fashionmonth #nyfw #pfw #lfw #mfw #versace #rickowens #rick owens #simone rocha #schiaparelli #moschino #mugler #style #fashion #runway #details #trend #ralph&russo #off-white #oscar de la renta

[slamsams-blog]

Licence To Kill - #24WeeksofBond

My 24 Weeks of Bond continues with Licence To Kill - a story of vendettas, cocaine, and iguanas.  This Bond movie has always been one of my favorites because of the story and the characters, and in my opinion this one doesn’t get nearly the credit it deserves.  Maybe it’s because of how they spelled “licence”?  Maybe it’s an english thing but my wife made sure to let me know that I spelled License wrong on my facebook post. oh well.

Maybe it was fate that Timothy Dalton had landed the part, as it was originally supposed to go to Pierce Brosnan back then, because Dalton shines in this movie.  After 12 years of Roger Moore’s light hearted, snarky portrayal of Bond - Timothy Dalton walks in as a man ahead of his time.  There is nothing flashy about Dalton, nothing over the top, gone were the silly one-liners.  Dalton was a shakespearian actor who took this role very seriously.  Dalton was known for going back to the novels by Ian Fleming and drawing inspiration for his character through them.  If there was any actor in the history of Bond who played the character as originally written in the books - it was Dalton.

We start out with wedding bells, Felix is getting married!  Of course Bond is his best man, and en route to the ceremony - the DEA gets a tip that Sanchez (a huge columbian drug overlord) is nearby.  Sanchez is wanted by everyone so Felix jumps at the chance to nail him - and does (or so he thinks).  After capturing him, with Bond’s help, they skydive right in front of the church just in time for the wedding.  Not a bad day for Felix.

Until Sanchez pays off the local agent tasked to bring him in and escapes.  This part of the movie always stuck with me.  As a teenager watching all these movies it was hard to see a character like Felix put into such a predicament.  Felix was always known as the friendly neighborhood CIA agent who pops in every once in a while to help Bond out for a few scenes.  Since it was ALWAYS a different actor playing him, the writers liked to tease the audience and make us think he was a bad guy following Bond around a while, until he catches up and we hear Bond go...”FELIX!”.  We would all breathe a sigh of relief and have a giggle then.

But that was all he was used for...now they’ve killed his newly wed wife and had a shark bite his leg off.  oof.  Poor guy.  This sends Bond on a personal vendetta mission to take Sanchez down.  In other words...Bond. Is. PISSED.

We all know how dangerous Bond is when he has just clocked in and on the job, but when Bond gets pissed?  He goes and takes out El Chapo all by himself.  Of course he acquires help along the way, but that was the mission.  Bond has gone so rogue that he ends up killing the American agent who took the bribe money forcing M to try to revoke his License to Kill, but Bond says “Nah, I’m gonna get El Chapo”.

Franz Sanchez, Robert Davi, is such a wonderful villain.  With an iguana on his shoulder, he plays the character with such manipulative charm that you almost come to like him.  He talks about loyalty over money, he charms the pants off of potential buyers, and takes Bond in and makes him coffee...even asks if he wants milk and sugar.  What a host.

Bond infiltrates Sanchez’s operation unbeknownst to him and starts playing everyone for fools.  He even goes so far as to walk into Sanchez’s office at his casino to inquire about employment.  But this story is more than a vendetta operation, we learn that there is more at stake - somehow, Sanchez has a hold of a few stinger missiles that the CIA is trying to get back and Bond ruins that.  Hong Kong narcotics has infiltrated Sanchez’s operation and is about to bring him in, Bond ruins that as well.  This story is so straight forward yet so complex.

 What is also fun about this movie is seeing a young Benicio Del Toro playing the evil henchman Dario and a cameo by Mr. Las Vegas himself - Wayne Newton.  I’m sure that got a good rise out of the movie goers back then.  There is so much fantastic action and sombering storytelling making Timothy Dalton a perfect fit for this film.  Pierce Brosnan would not have pulled off this level of weight to the character back then.  The best though, is toward the end when the bad guys have finally had enough of Bond and pull out one of the stinger missiles to kill Bond with it.  Bond is driving one of the tankers and drives up a bank tilting the tanker on one side of its tires to avoid the missile...wonderful.

Licence to Kill is the only Bond movie rated ‘R’ for violence, and they pulled off a wonderful installment in the franchise while showing us a darker side of Bond that we would later get used to with Daniel Craig, but of course back in 1989, not sure if Bond fans were ready for it.  This movie gets mixed reviews mostly because Dalton fizzled out after only his second film.  So while Dalton’s performance in Licence To Kill was wonderful, he was gone by the time he really got his footing with the role. Making his contribution to the franchise a bit forgettable in the long run.

But a killer cast, an intense story, and one awesome Bond theme by Gladys Knight (One of my favorite themes ever), makes Licence To Kill one of the most compelling Bond films in the catalog.  After this movie, however, Bond would go silent for 6 years with lawsuits and things.  So this movie was really the end of an era, but one thing was for sure, if Bond is ever going to go out...its going to go out with a damn explosion.  

That’s it for this week. Let me know your thoughts!!

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom:

I thought it was a great show. But for me it was a bit too gory. Watching a character be slowly eaten alive or pressure cooked in front of our eyes was enough to lose a little sleep over. I did like the unique quality of Timothy Dalton. He was just a little clumsy. And we caught him with bad hair on a few occasions. And then those stumbles he made. Before this, Bond was just too errogent to err. It was somewhat refreshing. It kept me on the edge of my seat for 2 hours that’s for sure.

Jake Benrud:

It was pretty dark, but enjoyable. No wonder why Felix disappeared from Bond until Casino Royale with Craig - he had to grow a leg. I guess it’s not a good idea for double 0s or their CIA counterparts to get married. It doesn’t end well. It’s interesting how the Bond movies tie some things from prior Bonds but completely ignore other things that have happened. In this movie they reference Bond getting married for instance, but I don’t think it’s mentioned in other Bonds (correct me if I’m wrong.)

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

Spectre

#24weeksofbond

[audiogrizzly]

Top 5 Games of 2019

It was a little tricky to construct a top 5 for this year, though there have been a couple of surprises.  I wasn’t expecting the year to be a bit crap as we are no w on the cusp once more of a new generation.  But 2012 wasn’t all that bad of a year (PS4 and Xbox One would release in 2013) and at the moment, everyone is doing alright.  PS4 has sold through over 100 million systems, Nintendo are definitely on an “on” generation with Switch, Xbox has been able to get back into peoples good books with things like Game Pass (on both Console and PC, their PC side they seem to really be turning around), there’s even interesting things happening in the mobile space with Apple Arcade.

This won’t be the last year where my top 5 games are full of current gen titles, I am expecting the new systems to drop in around November, last time it was hard to find a top 5 specific to PS4 (as I listed each platform separately back then).  It IS however, another list of mostly AAA tier games.  If you want to know what smaller more “interesting” games I have been playing, check out my honourable mentions at the end.

Also, follow me on Melee.  It’s this new image blogging service from Imgur which you can download now on the IOS App Store (its just on iPhone at the moment) and it has seemingly been built to help people share gaming related clips and images off of places like Twitter and Instagram (and err, here on Tumblr).  I posted a couple of daft clips of me failing in Modern Warfare and Destiny 2 and it didn’t take long for them to amass a few likes and comments.

That sounded like a sponsored advert but ain’t nobody paying me for this.  Let’s get into my top 5

5. Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order

I was about to select Gears 5 to be my number 5 until I saw sense and cast my memory back to when I started playing Jedi (all the way back in November.  I was impressed by its intense action, impressive visuals and great characters.  I especially enjoyed the 4 armed pilot who always complains.  I did feel that towards the end I got sick of managing large groups of enemies so I dropped the difficulty to get through it, but I still haven’t achieved 100% of activities on all planets so I can still go back to it one day.

4. Borderlands 3

We all knew this was coming but not even I had any idea that we would have been actually playing it in 2019 way back at the start of the year.  For me, I look at the game.  I don’t care about weird magicians or their insane sounding legal woes, all I’m interested in is the work of a team who deserved better for their last title, but am still glad returned to what they do best, looting and shooting.  I enjoyed rejoining these characters I have followed over the last 10 years, all the referenced to older games, cameos from characters from Tales From the Borderlands and The Pre Sequel and was sad to see some people go.  I still have about a year of extra content to go through and I really appreciate the efforts they have made to make the game last longer than just one playthrough through in the Proving Grounds, Circle of Slaughter and Mayhem modes.  Though I have always tended to stick to Borderlands games and create builds for each and every vault hunter, so I will be doing that.

3. Mortal Kombat 11

It’s been a while since I last put a fighting game into my end of year round up.  And I HAVE fallen off MK11 a little bit, but this entry reminded me of how impressive it is for Nether Realms to pack their fighting games with some many things to do and keep people playing outside of just going into matchmaking and fighting others.  The Vault this year is basically another little adventure full of exploration and puzzle solving and the Towers of Time give you plenty of challenge and direction of many months to come.  You also have to give the developer credit for never backing down on the brutality of the game, they must have all got their heads together after DC Universe vs. and vowed never again to make watered down versions of Fatalities.  It is a game that keeps getting better and better.

2. Call of Duty Modern Warfare

I was debating whether or not to include this years CoD.  I always get the same type of enjoyment out of it each year, people complain that it never changes but I’m glad it sticks to a formula.  Of course they are not identikit games, there are new maps, new modes, new ways of building your loadout and new touches, like how in this year you can snap to edges to stay in cover while you shoot, there’s the new special equipment system where you can drop ammo or reduce your footstep noise.  Having doors you can either peek through or smash open adds another level of strategy, there have been times where I have been able to escape being under fire by closing a door, re-positioning and then wasting whoever just wanders in.

The campaign this year, good to see it back, but whatever, the co-op mode is Spec Ops again, like it was back in MW2 and 3 but on a much larger scale, I have yet to complete one of these btw.  But as always, it’s the multiplayer that does it for me and Modern Warfare deserves credit for being what must be the first AAA game to feature cross platform play, not just launch with it.  I know that games like Fortnite are popular, but I don’t see that as a AAA title, it doesn’t have the full package, it’s just a mode and it started off small.  Call of Duty is expected to be big each year, has a lot riding on it and allowing for cross play is a big step.  I especially appreciate being able to play with a keyboard and mouse on PS4 and being able to matchmake only with people playing with controllers on PC, in fact, I have never really given the game much of a shot on PC before as I know people just fall of it, there has often been low player numbers reported on the PC versions of CoD and it looks like it won’t have that problem this time round due to cross play.

Modern Warfare still has to contend with Destiny 2 and Overwatch for my time as my main multiplayer game but it’s still as fun as ever.

1. Control

Put this down as my main “surprise” game of 2019.  A game which was not on my watch list, though I was aware of it as you can’t ignore a game from the makers of Max Payne (I did skip Alan Wake and didn’t care much for Quantum break though).  Bought it at the last minute before its release, downloaded it and was wowed by the sinister nature of the environment you run around in.  This weird fictitious US government agency which looks into paranormal activity which you seem to have become in charge of because you picked up a mysterious weapon from the deceased Director while searching for your brother.  What then follows is about 12 hours of wacky powers and odd video clips as you unearth what has been going on in this strange ever morphing building.

I especially loved how the game never holds your hand too much, the map of each floor is vague enough that you also have to rely on in-game signposting to move around, as well as a bit of memory work.  There is also great humour involved too in some of the PSA posters on a lot of the walls, the antics of the caretaker and the videos you find of Dr. Darling throughout the game.

I did have a few weird technical issues with the game throughout playing, but still found it to be visually pleasing, there was this weird hitch that used to appear after coming out of the pause screen that always threw me, it would be followed by a few moments of low performance before getting back into the smooth action.  But this didn’t stop me from having a great time with Control.  Perhaps the game that will be the most prominent in my head when I think of 2019.

So there you have it, control is my best game of 2019.  But let’s look at the other new games I played throughout the year in my honourable mentions:

Gears 5

The Outer Worlds

Days Gone

Apex Legends

Far Cry New Dawn

Trover Saves the Universe

Concrete Genie

Devil May Cry 5

Tom Clancy's The Division 2

And also a special mention to these old games that were rereleased/remastered/repackaged etc in 2019:

Borderlands Game of the Year Edition Remastered

Halo Reach

And now, a look at the games I have on my watchlist for 2020:

Cyberpunk 2077

Last of Us Part 2

Ghost of Tsushima

Halo: Infinite

Watch Dogs Legion

Phantasy Star Online 2

Gods & Monsters

Doom Eternal

Overwatch 2

Diablo IV

Minecraft dungeons

Marvel's Avengers

Carrion

Streets of Rage 4

Will they all even come out?  Let’s find out, happy new year!

#mortal kombat #modern warfare #control #star wars #melee #borderlands

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Opportunity Knox and Cameo

We’re treated to something a bit special this episode! No, not the art and animation quality, as that’s…kinda weak this time. Or maybe I should say Brain is drawn and animated kinda nightmarishly in a lot of parts? Well, you’ll see.

No, the special thing about this episode is that it’s written by Tom Minton, the writer at Warner Brothers who was the original inspiration for The Brain! The general idea for Pinky and the Brain as characters and as a show came from Tom Ruegger having an office close by to Tom Minton and Eddie Fitzgerald, two writers and storyboard artists who he would often hear laughing and joking around together but usually couldn’t make out what exactly they were saying. Minton usually spoke low and quietly and was more introverted, while Fitzgerald was much more outgoing and loud…basically already like a cartoon come to life (Eddie actually did exclaim things like ‘Narf’ occasionally in reality, which was an aspect that was added to and exaggerated in Pinky’s character). The fact that these two guys who were viewed as total opposites by their colleagues were good friends and spent so much time working together in secret lead to everyone joking that they were secretly trying to take over the world.

That isn’t to say that Pinky and Brain are 100% cartoon copies of Eddie and Tom—our mouse duo definitely veered off into their own distinct personalities very quickly—but the basic bones of their characters came from these two real life men. That makes me wonder about how surreal it must have been for Tom Minton to write for episodes starring Pinky and the Brain. He only did so four times in Animaniacs (and Eddie Fitzgerald never directly worked on Animaniacs or Pinky and the Brain, to my knowledge).

In any case, let’s move on to the actual episode.

We open to a multitude of bubbling beakers of mysterious liquids and one scientist working alone at night in the Acme Labs. She sneezes a few times, and then exclaims that she’s only a few steps away from curing the common cold.

…Man, Acme Labs is a total shitshow when it comes to their work, aren’t they? In addition to all the blatantly cruel experiments on animals that they do, just look at how lax this scientist is about lab safety. I’ll give her props for at least wearing her lab coat properly and tying her long hair up, which is something most media usually gets wrong. The fact that she’s doing this medical experiment while not wearing gloves or proper eye protection or a mask is very troubling. Not to mention that she’s doing all this while being very sick, if her violent sneezes are anything to go by.

Hmm, that cage is looking suspiciously empty.

Well, well! Looks like our mousey duo is up to something.

“Ahehehehe, oh this is gonna be great, Brain! Narf!”

“Quiet, Pinky!”

OH LORD, SHE JUST CHUGS IT HERSELF! Lady, PLEASE! The fact that this “cure” is piss-coloured only makes it worse.

Sweetie, I think this needs more peer-reviewed, double-blind tests before you can truthfully say that you’ve made a cure for the common cold. You have no proper safety gear on and you’re doing this experiment all alone at night with no one to check up on you.

Oh no. Boys, what are you doing?

So they catapult some powdery substance on her and she goes into a more violent sneezing fit than before. She leaves the room to go “back to the drawing board”, but honestly I’m hoping that she just goes home and isolates herself for a while.

“Success, Pinky!”

“Egad, Brain, what is this stuff?!”

“A new strain of pollen I created myself, Pinky. It causes a temporary but uncontrollable fit of allergic sneezing in man.”

Pinky looks very disturbed by this (although I suppose it doesn’t help that Brain has that very smug and devious look on his face) until Brain says that the effect is temporary. It’s a nice little detail that shows us approximately where Pinky’s lines of morality are. Brain makes his own strain of pollen to cause humans to have severe sneezing fits? That’s amazing but horrifying! Oh, it’s only temporary? Well okay, then. It’s fine if it doesn’t cause any lasting harm.

“No human is immune.”

AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Holy fuck, show, don’t give me a jumpscare like that!

“Do you realize what we will do with this pollen, Pinky?”

“Umm… Open a boutique?”

GAH! I told you to stop doing that! Seriously, what’s up with the way Brain’s draw in this episode?

“Yes, that’s it. We’ll open a boutique and sell ladies’ clothing and pollen.”

“Egad, Brain, what fun! I like this idea, I do! Hehehahahaha!~”

Of course he would. Of course he’d like working in a more domestic setting and selling ladies’ clothing.

…Say, now that I think of it, I think this might be the first time we get a hint as to Pinky’s love of what’s stereotypically thought of as women’s clothing. Hmm.

BONK!

“Focus, Pinky, FOCUS!”

Brain, sweetie, not everyone goes into tunnel-visioned hyperfocus like you do.

“We shall do no less than go to Fort Knox, Kentucky: keeper of the nation’s gold supply. There, we will expose the guards to our pollen…”

Despite the general awkwardness of the animation this episode, I like the way Brain is drawn here from over the shoulder. Very nice work.

Also…”our” pollen? Brain, you made that yourself. I guess this is just another example of Brain subconsciously including Pinky in everything.

“…and while they’re sneezing uncontrollably, we’ll move into the vault and take the gold!”

Brain’s plan blueprints are such a treat. Gold! Gold! Gold!

“For he who controls this nation’s capital, controls the nation!”

Okay, this close-up is a little better.

“Off to Fort Knox!”

“Oh! Wait! But isn’t the nation’s capital in Washington, DC?”

BONK!

“Capital as in money, Pinky!”

Oh come on now, Brain. It was an easy mistake to make. Also “capital” in this instance can mean more than money if you want to get semantic about it.

Brain grabs Pinky’s tail to drag him away again. It’s a wonder that Pinky’s tail isn’t as kinked up and injured as Brain’s is by now.

Ooo, improvised tools time!

“But how are we gonna get to Fort Knox, Brain?”

“We’ll simply borrow one of the lab’s technological resources:”

“The minivan!”

Pinky, are you mildly swooning over Brain acquiring a minivan? I…

This does bring up a point I wanted to make, though. Sometimes fans will question why Pinky and Brain stay at Acme Labs despite being put through so much inhumane and humiliating bullshit. While it’s true that Brain doesn’t much like the experiments he’s subjected to (Pinky is…another story entirely), I’m pretty sure he keeps the labs as his home because it’s incredibly convenient for his world domination plans. These are ACME labs, after all, and regardless of how terrible the experiments are, Acme has access to just about every bit of technology in the Warner Brothers cartoon universe. Brain can find or order whatever parts he needs for his latest world domination plan whenever he wants, and no human bats an eye at mysterious bits and bobs showing up because, well, it’s Acme. Acme is in the business of doing absolutely everything. No matter what daytime tortures Brain goes through, the lab is an incredible asset to him, and he’d be foolish to give that up.

Hello again, Warner siblings! I hope you’re having fun tonight.

That’s an awfully tiny sack of pollen to take for this trip…

“Won’t we get in trouble, Brain?”

“’Get in trouble’? Pinky, we’re going to take over the world!”

I just like the tiny silhouettes in this screencap.

“Besides, we’ll have the van back here by 8 am.”

“Oh! All right, then!”

[Quickly googles how long it would take to drive from Burbank California to Fort Knox]

…Are you sure about that, Brain? Are you really, positively sure?

Oh my goodness, a little winch and pulley system! That’s a little convoluted, but it’s adorable.

“Oi! Nice threads, Brain! But, err, why the disguise?”

“If we are to succeed in our mission, I must pass for an average, non-descript motorist, Pinky.”

I agree, Pinky. Brain always looks good in a suit.

Also he’s on a literal soap box, holy shit.

“So while we’re driving, call me Mr. Perkins.”

A trillby?!? Put it back! Putitbackputitbackputitback!

“Say no more! Brilliant, Brain!”

“Mr. Perkins.”

Oh no, he’s threatening to punch the audience now!

“Ooo, right, right. Narf! Heh, Mr. Per-kins.~”

“Pinky, start your engine!”

So Pinky tugs on a rope tied to the car keys to start the minivan, and I bet we can all already tell that he’s going to be doing most of the hard work for this roadtrip.

“Now depress the brake!”

I half expected a joke here where Pinky would say depressing things to the brake, but that didn’t happen. It’s just as well, I suppose. Pinky’s not usually the type to be mean to anyone or anything.

Instead, he pushes himself into the brake.

This made me curious about how strong real mice are. According to this scientific article, the average mouse can lift approximately 70 g in weight.That’s not a lot compared to us humans, of course, but seeing as the average weight of the common house mouse is 19 g (and common wood mice are on average 23 g), that’s really impressive! Still, for Pinky to be able to depress the brake is quite a feat that’s worlds beyond what the average real-life mouse can do.

Yes, yes, I know. It’s all cartoon logic and physics. That’s not going to stop me from having the headcanon that Pinky and the Brain have both been modified so much by Acme Labs that in addition to becoming sapient and intelligent, they’re basically little mouse superheroes in strength, too.

“Yes! Now I’ll shift the transmission into gear and…you give it the gas!”

Man, Pinky just slams his entire body onto the gas pedal with all his mousey might! You can hear him physically strain against it. Well done, Mr. Paulsen!

“Now Pinky, let us, in the vernacular, ‘take this hog out on the road and see who’s boss’!”

Oh lord, Brain’s on a slight power trip just from being able to drive a vehicle. If he ever does rule over the world one day, I fear he may explode from the sheer ego-high of it.

Anyway, on the way to Fort Knox they get stuck behind a rather slow transport truck. Well, Brain can’t have that! He’s got to get back to the lab by 8 am after all!

“Pinky! Prepare to pass a slow-moving vehicle!”

“Righty-o, Brain!”

Again, Pinky, I’m pretty sure you really aren’t supposed to stick your ass and chest out while saluting. You’re supposed to keep your posture straight.

…What am I saying? Pinky can’t do anything straight.

“Call me Mr. Perkins! Activate left turn indicator now.”

Aww, a little hop!~

Unfortunately it’s the wrong lever.

“…Let’s try that again, Pinky.”

“Narf! Wrong switch.”

He sits down to think and of course he gets it right that way.

Anyone else enjoying a lesson on how to drive from Pinky and the Brain? No? Just me? I mean, I already know how, but this is super cute.

“Exemplary work, Pinky!”

Brain, he just…he just pulled a switch. By accident. The fact that he’s so sincere about complimenting him for this is very cute but also very odd. I guess Brain’s in a good mood tonight.

“But we’re slowing down. Quickly, step on the gas!”

“Gas, check!”

Pinky, no!

Oh lord, he just lets himself fall directly on the gas pedal. You okay there, dude?

“Maintain pedal pressure, Pinky!”

I don’t think he has much of a choice, Brain.

So they get beside the freight truck and the driver of it picks up his CB radio mic.

“Hey, breaker breaker one nine, this here’s Big Red. Eh…what’s your handle, good buddy? Over.”

“The name’s Perkins. MISTER Perkins. Just an average, non-descript motorist.”

Wh—Why is there a CB radio installed in the Acme Lab minivan?

Pinky chooses this moment to lift himself off the gas pedal and then jump back on it in a weirdly showy, semi-acrobatic way. The first screencap has the tip of his tail almost in the shape of a heart, so I had to include it.

Our duo pass by the freight truck. Needless to say, the truck driver is still pretty rattled by his run-in with “Mr. Perkins”.

“I gotta quit eatin’ them double onion chili dogs!…”

Usually people just run with it on this show, but this is one of those rare moments where a human being doesn’t inexplicably fall for one of Brain’s horrible human disguises.

The minivan’s grill looks like teeth here and it’s almost menacing.

Uh oh, Brain’s getting dozy.

“Pinky…I’m in need of some music to keep myself raptly alert. And use the cruise control this time so we don’t lose speed!”

I don’t know why I’m so charmed by Pinky pressing the cruise control button like this, but it’s very cute.

“Cruise control on, Br—aaaerr—umm, Mr. Perkins!”

He is trying his best. :3c

“[yawn] Stellar, Pinky. Now see if you can locate a local radio station frequency.”

“Narf! Wrong knob…”

Smacking the hell out of the right knob make the radio explode into a loud yet incredibly mild generic rock tune. I’m surprised Pinky’s so alarmed. I wonder if Brain—

JEEZUS FUCK! You gotta stop giving me a heart attack with these sudden messed up close-ups of Brain, episode!

“Turn off the radio, Pinky!”

“Heeey! This knob’s loose!”

Aaaand there he goes.

“Oohoo ahaha! What’d’ya know? The lighter works!”

I wonder if Pinky knows what that’s actually for at this point, considering his utter disdain for smoking later in the spin-off?

“The radio, Pinky!”

“Ooo, right. Almost forgot!”

Uh oh.

“Whew. Suddenly I feel downright feverish, I do…”

Pinky has become a Charmander, and he’s not happy about it.

So he’s screaming and shouting his verbal tics all over the place and what’s Brain’s reaction?

“There’s no need for you to entertain me personally, Pinky. I’m quite awake now.”

BRAIN! You wipe that smug smile off your face right now, you little jerk! I know Pinky will be okay because he always is, but still.

One screen wipe later…

“Kentucky, Pinky! We made it!”

“All right, Brain!”

“Mister PERKINS!”

Brain, I think Pinky’s just not into this roleplay tonight. Or it might be your trillby. Lose the damn trillby.

“Fort Knox is mere miles away. Nothing can stop us now!”

Well, looks like you jinxed yourself.

I’ve got no love for cops, but his “what the fuck” expression here is choice.

“Good evening, officer. Was I exceeding the speed limit?”

“By about a hundred miles an hour.”

Oh, is that all? They’d need to be over by, like, a thousand or so miles an hour to make as good of a time as they did getting here.

Maybe this guy is going to arrest them for breaking the laws of time and space.

“I’m sorry, y’see—“

Shining a flashlight directly into your eyes? Yup, this is definitely a cop.

“I’m Mr. Perkins, an average, non-descript—“

“Can I see your license and registration, please?”

And then Pinky immediately interrupts the shakedown with a happy, matter-of-fact “We don’t have any! Zort! :D” and now my mind wanders off into let’s-overanalyze-the-shit-out-of-this-joke-scene territory because… Look at this. A cop pulls over a vehicle from Acme Labs doing about a hundred miles over the speed limit and finds Brain, a mouse in a suit trying to pass as a human driver. Then Pinky, who is dressed in no such disguise because why would Brain ever think of an obviously important detail ever in one of his plans, pops up to say that they don’t have a driver’s license.

…So what does this scene look like at this point from the cop’s perspective? Besides the very rare outlier like the truck driver from before, humans usually take Brain’s word for it that he’s also human, no matter how shoddy his disguise is. There are a few possibilities here, and I honestly can’t decide which is funniest:

1.      The cop can see through Brain’s poor disguise just like the truck driver from earlier can, and knows that these are actually two mice that have stolen a truck and have been speeding down the highway with it.

2.      The cop thinks Brain is a very odd-looking human without a driver’s license who’s been driving down the highway at insane speeds with his loose pet talking mouse by his side.

3.      The cop believes that Brain really is an odd-looking human who has no license and has been wildly speeding down the highway and also there’s an equally odd-looking human man with him who is stark naked for some mysterious reason.

I’ll let you decide which one is the most likely canon scenario as we continue as Brain tries to clear up this scenario.

“If you must know, we are two lab mice out to control the world by seizing its gold assets. But when we assume power, rest assured our budget will result in substantial new funding for law enforcement.”

…

Leave it to Brain to truthfully spell out his global domination intentions for no good reason and then lie his little mousey ass off to try and bribe his way out of going to jail.

Also, again, it’s “when we assume power” and not “when I assume power”. Hmm.

“…Oh.”

“Bwuhyuube… Be--best be on your way, then.”

“Thank you, officer.”

I’d say I was surprised that white privilege extends even to white lab mice here but…that would be a lie.

“Oh man, I do miss them witless teenage speed demons…”

So they finally make it to Fort Knox.

…And I guess the Warner siblings do, too!

The two mice have parked on a hill overlooking their target and gosh Brain, you’re looking extra pudgy here.

“It’s time to make our move, Pinky.”

Judging by the look on his face here, I think Pinky just noticed how thicc Brain’s behind has suddenly gotten.

Nevertheless, they begin their pollen assault on the guards.

Finally, the moment has arrived!

Brain’s head is shaped like a football and is almost as wide as Pinky is tall here, but besides that this is a cool shot.

This bit was also used in the spin-off’s theme for some reason, but now it will forever remind me of the absolute chaotic laughter that erupted when I got some friends to sit down and watch an episode of PatB. The stream decided to stop on this specific shot for buffering and they all just lost it. Most of the reaction was through voice on Discord, but luckily there were some friends using text chat too:

I live for moments like these when we’re streaming shows and movies.

“Egad! This is even better than a Ducktales episode, Brain!”

That’s pretty high praise, Pinky. I love the shadowing done on him here as well.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Wha—I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career? Oof, it’s all too much for me!”

Pinky did…did you see all this gold and immediately begin envisioning yourself using the money to settle down and start a family?!? And so far in this series you aren’t dating anyone and you probably don’t even know anyone besides Brain and…

Okay, listen, I know it’s established later on that Pinky has wishes and daydreams about having a very domestic life, culminating in that one “Somewhere That’s Green” parody fantasy where he and Brain live together like a 50s couple in the Elmyra spin-off but… But…!

Well, you’ll kind of get a family along with your world domination “career” in a few years, Pinky. It’s probably not going to be quite how you envisioned it, though.

“The gold, Pinky! It’s all ours. Let’s move it out!”

Umm…

“One…two…three…and lift!”

I just realized that out of context the poses and faces in this screencap could look, uhh, questionable. But will that stop me from sharing it? No.

“I believe my plan has a…fatal flaw…”

About 27.4 pounds worth of a fatal flaw. You two might have super strength in comparison to other mice, but it looks like you both have a hard limit.

“I am in intense pain, Pinky.”

“Ditto, Brain. Zort!”

Well, okay, I guess it’s good that you are both cartoons, then. You boys should be able to shrug this off pretty quickly, especially Pinky.

OH GOD!

Is this what all those nightmarish close-ups of Brain were preparing me for?!?

“Fear not, Pinky, for the unwieldy atomic weight of gold will not thwart us tomorrow night.”

“Why? What are we doing tomorrow night, Brain?”

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky… Try to take over the world!”

You know, most cartoons would settle for them just being covered in bandages. Not Animaniacs, though. In Animaniacs were have to know that their removal from under the gold bar was so difficult and painful that fur was pulled out and they were left with bare, raw patches of skin. T-thanks, Warner Brothers?

Let’s end with a somewhat longer cameo appearance, as I suspect at this point Tumblr will have another fit if I try to combine two full episodes again.

The very next episode of Animaniacs has a skit called Hercule Yakko, which is a vague parody of Hercule Poirot mysteries. We get a good handful of cameos from the stars of other Animaniacs skits as passengers on a luxury cruise boat on the Nile.

The basic premise is that the Marita, one of the Hip Hippos, awakens in the middle of the night to find her comically large diamond necklace missing. The Warner siblings are a detective team who happen to also be onboard the ship and offer to help the hippo couple find it.

Before you ask, yes, this is the same episode as the infamous “fingerprints” joke.

Eventually the Warner siblings begin to go around knocking on the doors of the other passengers’ rooms to ask questions. They come across Slappy Squirrel first, who knows nothing about the missing diamond and just wants to be left alone to sleep. Then they meet Minerva Mink and, well, you can guess how that went. Then Yakko knocks on the last door.

“YES?”

Smol.

Look at them in their matching lederhosen! That’s absolutely adorable. Bravo to whichever of the mice had the idea for these “disguises”.

“Did you steal a big diamond?”

“No. We are Swiss hikers on holiday.”

Okay so maybe I’ll deduct a few points for wearing lederhosen, which is more associated with Bavaria and Germany, but claiming to be Swiss. Not that people in Switzerland didn’t also wear it, but you’d probably want to make your cover story as unsuspicious as possible, right? And that’s not even going into the idea of wearing a garment made from leather in hot, hot Egypt. These mice must be drenched in sweat…

“Look at me, Brain! I’m Heidi! Yodelehe-NARF!~”

Well at least someone in this duo is trying his best to reference things from Switzerland.

…Brain is the one that fucked up the lederhosen cultural background thing, isn’t he? Goddammit, Brain.

He just bonks the hell outta Pinky and silently slams the door in Yakko’s face.

After briefly talking with Marita, Yakko exclaims that he knows where the diamond is and asks that everyone assemble together in the state room. And so they do!

Aww, they’re sharing a chair because they are so, so tiny. :3c

“You’re probably all wondering why I called you here!”

“To reveal the thief?!?” says everyone in unison.

Minerva, you’re looking kind of weird in that second pic.

“No. It’s because you can’t play charades with three people.”

“That’s it! I’m goin’ back to bed.”

“So am I. I didn’t take the diamond!”

Man, Minerva really got a raw deal in the 90s. She only has two episode skits of her own and makes a few tiny cameos elsewhere, like in this one. I get that she was put on the back-burner as a character because her skits were considered “too suggestive”—and to be honest they were a bit over the top—but there are certainly ways that you can write a character who uses their sex appeal for comedic effect without it being disrespectful. It’s a shame they never tried to tweak the tone of her episodes just a tad.

But anyway, mice!

Brain is looking at Minerva with…worry? Concern? Confusion? Which is a very atypical reaction to Minerva. Gee, I wonder why.

Pinky is Looking Respectfully.

I’m never going to get over how cute they look in these outfits.

“I also am innocent.”

“Umm… I may have done it! I walk in my sleep, you know.”

Pinky, sweetie, I know you’re trying in your own odd little way to help but there’s no way you’d be able to carry a diamond of that size.

BONK!

This is the very last clear shot that the mice are in and it’s not very significant but I liked the angle of it.

Oh, you’re asking who took the diamond? No one did. The diamond was lodged in Marita’s butt fat the entire time. It’s the typical style of “humour” from skits with the Hip Hippos. Now you all know why no one is clamouring for their return in the reboot.

That’s it for this post, though. I should have the next episode that I promised would go with this one up in a day or two.

See you next time, folks, when we go off to the races!

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #Opportunity Knox