#even if it IS just The Devil or whatever theres a purpose to that being written... like u do know nathaael isnt real and as such

[rosandguilarehead1968]

i enjoy it a lot when its unclear if something is happening or not actually. what do you think is there supernatural involvement or is the narrator just losing his mind i don't care!!! i don't!!!! it's left ambiguous for a reason!

#wizardspeak #this is about eta hoffmann sandman again im getting annoyed at my classmates from like 2 weeks ago... #'yeah he was Obviously Crazy' 'no it was Definitely The Devil' stop it. stop we have more important things to talk about... #this is a story it's meant to fucking be like that most ppl dont write abt the supernatural just to be like would that be fucked up or not #even if it IS just The Devil or whatever theres a purpose to that being written... like u do know nathaael isnt real and as such #cant be haunted by a demon for realsies OR hallucinate for realsies. also this is Unexplained Stuff & Fragments Literature Movement...

[yxine]

— KOREAN GIRLFRIEND. ❞

Kirsten Dodgen x Reader!:

— in which Kirsten finds out her Korean girlfriend joined the show with her own crew.

— where everyone just find out that kirsten has a girlfriend who is in the show with them.

note: I do not own kirsten or any of the crew, women or the whole show. This is purely made for entertainment purposes!

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Kirsten was chuckling as she looked at the screen of her phone, she could be seen texting someone. Whoever they were made her quite giggly. Interested on why their leader was giggling to herself, Ling leaned over Kirsten's shoulder to see who she was talking to.

"Ooh~ who you getting all fuzzy for capt—WHO IS THIS 'LOVE'?" Ling exclaimed as she finally saw who she was texting to. Kirsten has a boyfriend and she knew this now?! After all these years, she only found out today.

"Shh! Not so loud!" Kirsten covered her teammate's mouth, they were the only ones in the Jam Republic room since the other three members were in the bathroom retouching their makeup and whatever they need to do in the bathroom.

"But yes...we have been for 3 years now." Kirsten said to Ling who gaped like a fish. The Asian woman felt a bit hurt to know that this has been hidden for a long time now and she only found out today. Now that she thought about it, she's seen her leader chuckle and even get a sudden call when teaching her classes, she always picked it up immediately and excuse herself. So it was her lover, huh?

"So, where's he from?" Ling asked Kirsten who sighed while looking up on the ceiling.

"She's from here in South Korea, one of the reason I agreed to join this show." Kirsten responded before chuckling at the sudden shocked gasp from Ling.

"SHE?!"

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A group of tall attractive women could be seen walking from the front of the studio on where the show is being held. Each scene of the camera revealing very attractive faces of the women, they all looked qualified to be a model.

"Woah, can't believe we're actually here." One of them mumbled in awe as all of them looked around. Her name was Lee Dohee, a tall woman with a brown pixie cut hair and cute-like features. She is the maknae of the group, age ranging of 19.

"I know right? It's a bit nerve-wracking now that we're here." KZ another member of the crew said as she shook her hands. She is a woman a bit taller than Dohee with black long hair and ash red highlights stopping just at the middle of her back, her age ranging of 26.

"Oh! Do you think we'll have international groups? I heard that swf is planning on inviting some! Do you think they'll get famous dancers from other countries? Someone we know? Someone that's like an underdog? Ooh! Maybe someone from Royal Family?! But that's a bit hard to do though especially when they have a tour going on around the world right now." Hollie the hyper one in the group said multiple things in wonder. She had two high up pigtails for her long navy blue hair as she made big gestures while talking.

"Calm down, Hun. I'm sure we'll find out when we enter the studio." Kim Sarah, the second oldest member of the group told the young woman. She had platinum blonde hair that's in a boy-cut, contrast to her looks, she was the mom of the group while their leader was like the dad.

Said leader only chuckled to herself as she led the team through the small hallway to get to their assigned room.

Sin-ergy

The banner was colored red with devil horns and their crew name on it, it was their room next to Jam Republic whose banner is bright compared to theres.

"Jam Republic?"

"Looks like they did invite people we know from overseas."

"Do you think Kirs-unnie is in there?!"

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Kirsten who heard her name called outside the room perked up, that high-pitched voice sounded familiar. Where did she hear that from again?

"Wow, they are loud." Latrice chuckled, liking the energy the women outside their room let out. (They don't know what they're talking about since their translator went out for a bit, so the translation isn't working for now that's why I said Latrice likes their energy.)

"At least we aren't the only ones here to just have fun and experience." Ling said with a slight smile as they all kept listening to the crew outside.

Kirsten on the other hand, kept contemplating on if she knew them or not. She can't help but feel like she should go outside and greet them but she decided not to.

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Every crew was already downstairs, now they were only waiting for the last one.

As if on cue, voices from upstairs rang out to the bottom as everyone put their gazes up to where they heard the voices are.

"Woah, this kinda looks cool!" Hollie exclaimed as she skipped across the large hallway as her team watched fondly at her.

"We should take pictures here later." KZ said as the others nodded in agreement.

"we're approaching the stairs, get ready." Y/N ever the dominant leader said as her members either hummed or nod in agreement while she led them from the front.

"Woah..here they come." Mannequeen's Yoonji muttered as she straightened herself in anticipation for the last group.

Sin-ergy stepped down the states as everyone stared at them in awe mostly at their tell structure and the energy they let out. They were even more intimidating than Wolf-lo and that's saying something.

"They're so tall!"

"They all look like they could be models."

"Oh my, look at Y/N!"

"Wait doesn't Y/N's outfit look kind of familiar?"

That statement that was said out loud made everyone realize where they saw that top before, their heads then snap towards a certain leader of Jam Republic noticing how similar their outfits looked. Though it's a bit absurd that they assumed such a thing, the way Kirsten stared at the leader of Sin-ergy in such shock and a look of knowing who she was made them think otherwise.

The tall group of women finally arrived on the stage waiting for the critiques of the other groups.

"Their team doesn't really stand out, it's only because of their heights."

"They're too tall for a dancer, i mean how do you move those long arms? Throw them around like some sort of stripped paper?"

"I don't see the point of them being a crew when it all just looks like Y/N with a bunch of back-up dancers."

Y/N just stared at the screen with a unnerving gaze causing the ones who made those comment to shrink in their seats as they were intimidated by her stare.

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"How dare they.." Kirsten muttered as she seethed silently in her seat. They dare talk to her woman in that way? They must have a death wish.

"How dare they what?" Latrice who was behind her asked her leader. She was confused on what she meant as they don't even know those tall women. Kirsten stiffened a bit as she didn't realize she said it out loud so she just waved her off.

"It's nothing, just remembered something." She can't just say her girlfriend just got dissed and now she's pissed off y'know? Can't she?

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"That's funny.." Y/N muttered amused by their comments, her team was also amused as this wasn't even diss, it's like eight grades bullying each other. Though they don't let it show as they kept giving a uninterested stare that kind of came off as them being mad due to the dominating aura they give off.

"Let's go." With that one command, the five of them went towards their spot just across Jam Republic.

"Wait, are my eyes messing with me or is Kirsten across us?" Holli grabbed KZ's arm as her eyes widened, the same could be said with the other members as they look at Kirsten who only smiled in return, amused by their reactions.

"Looks like we're against each other." Dohee said as she nodded in greeting to Jam Republic who returned it.

"This will be fun." Y/N said as she hotly smirked at the Jam Republic Leader who shyly smiled at the tall woman.

"A battle between lovers, now that's an interesting plot."

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user1234: WHAT? THEY'RE TOGETHER?

leyley__: MY TEAM LEADER HAS A LOVER AND I JUST KNEW NOW?!

-> kirstendodgen: surprise?

iluvkirs: IT'S ALWAYS THE HOT WOMEN THAT'S TAKEN I SWEAR

-> luvluvy/n: I KNOW RIGHT?

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taglist!: @ssivinee @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @kayascar @tikitsune @thefrostedwinter

#street woman fighter 2 #swf2 #street woman fighter x reader #swf #kirsten dodgen #jam republic #kirsten x reader

[nevarroes]

do either cas or gort get insecure/worried about the other leaving them? i don't know if gorts the type to be insecure, and while cas seems overconfident he also seems very... unstable in that.. would either of them ever say something (accidentally or on purpose?) to make the other self conscious/paranoid they'd leave?

yeah they both have quite the issues with it to be honest😭

for Cas it’s very, very extreme tbh. yeag he’s cocky and a narcissist but he’s insanely insecure and unstable as a person. This is not about like superficial things it’s about the fact that due to him pretty much only ever having been valued for his looks and you know sexual skill as an incubus he’s actually subconsciously always scared of not being enough as a person if the looks or the sex ever falls away since knowing that would also be the one thing that could totally break him. with that in mind Cas is like… extremely jealous to the extent where it’s a big reason of why he’s trying to make Gortash fat too. And on top of that it doesn’t actually matter how often Gortash might tell him that he’s the only one that could ever matter to him or whatever because Cas will never quite believe that due to his own issues with himself and stuff, so he’s also extremely erm… volatile when it comes to Gortash mentioning others or even past lovers, anything really. And yes Gortash does this sometimes even if he ends up regretting it mostly but there’s something to be said about him just being used to use a person’s weaknesses against them so it just… slips out sometimes tbh😖

Gortash has insecurities regarding this too but it stems from different things namely the fact that he, deep down and he would never admit this, knows that Cas is kind of out of his league. And I don’t just mean this look-wise right I mean that Cas is a literal devil that is on his best way to overthrow a god. It’s not that I see Gortash as an insecure person really, he’s incredibly arrogant and proud of his achievements as well but theres something to be said about Cas being the person he loves bringing out that tiny bit of doubt and inferiority within him, if that makes sense. Aside from that Cas isn’t someone that would make him doubt that he’d leave him for someone else or smth like that because with Cas… u can really tell that he’s not even giving anyone else time. To me Cas has many people around him nd flirting with him and whatever at all times like when they’re at events and such (especially since he’s not seen as a ruler) not even just for looks but he also has a weirdly attractive charme to him due to him still vaguely acting like an incubus. But even with that it’s like… he always manages to make Gortash be the only one that feels special, he’ll always just be around Gortash and he’ll always just turn his gaze to Gortash and he’ll only ever smile for Gortash. So it’s nothing that he says that kinda makes Gortash worried it’s Gortash's own feelings but also, aside from that, the fact that Cas is a person that tends to just leave and run away to avoid things. As in if they fight or if Gortash hurts Cas he will literally vanish off the face of the world for a while and I suppose theres a part in Gortash that is afraid that one day he will fuck up and Cas just never returns again

#blakemail #long post #gortcas lore #cas probably considers chaining him to the bed once a week lets not lie here

[dateamonster]

what’s powering this whole Angel/demon system? Are humans a part of it? Is god harvesting humans for sin and regret?

tbh i prefer to leave the more like blatantly theological aspects a lil ambiguous for funsies and to leave things open to interpretation but the gist is that, regardless of what the objective Truth may be, angels are beings who believe themselves to be the messengers, architects, and when necessary, soldiers of capital g god.

but new orders havent been coming in for a looong time, so angels, being sort of singleminded beings by nature, have just sort of been retreading the same ground over and over since bible times. studying the scripture, spreading messages of love and light, polishing up the ol holy swords in preparation for the day they are called to use them at last, etc etc etccc. its like if you combined a nun with a doomsday prepper. theres also the matter of the angel hierarchy that dictates who exactly does what to keep celestial society running on like an internal level but thats the basic vibe.

angels mostly exist within the celestial realm but they have outposts in the mortal realm as well (because demons started setting up shop there and they didnt want to be shown up). while angels are only supposed to go to earth for business purposes, theres not always a whole lot of oversight on their activities and in modern times there are plenty who are just kinda. living normal lives amongst humankind.

and in the other corner, demons. contrary to common belief, they are not all or even mostly fallen angels. theyre their own thing, occupants of the infernal realm and dealers in human misery and avarice. back in ye olde days it was just you know every once in a while one of these funney little guys with pop in the mortal realm to fuck with humans or trick them into selling their soul for a piddling bit of magic or whatever, but over time they industrialized and now hell is a massive sprawling enterprise with a highly competitive and highly confusing economic system and no clear idea who is at the top.

its an mlm. its just literally a really big slightly more evil than normal mlm scheme.

angels and demons have had beef from the very beginning, not least of all because team infernal keeps bringing those angels who cant stay the path over to their side, but also just about every non-infernal beastie in existence thinks devils are kind of a bunch of little yuppie shits. actually, neither side is particularly well liked by the rest of creature-kind come to think of it.

btw shouldve mentioned earlier but humanity in this world is like. vaguely aware of the paranormal and such. angels are more of a rarity because one of the many many rules they abide by forbids them from doing anything that could bring harm to humans (gods specialest little guys) which over time, following several Incidents, has been expanded to mean "dont reveal yourself to humans or ideally even interact with them unless absolutely necessary", meanwhile demons whole deal kind of requires direct interaction. they might keep the horns under wraps until theyve got your signature for obvious reasons, but at this point everyones got a cousins best friends uncle who did some shady shit at a crossroads and came back with a crazy story and a blurry photo of some cloven hooves or smth.

tldr god is not rly a factor here. demons deal in mortal souls for power and promotions back in hell and angels intervene wherever they can. otherwise everyones just kinda doing their own thing. its more in line with like the pop culture tradition of angels and demons as fantasy creatures of a kind more than anything specifically religious, though i think its sort of impossible and tbh kind of boring to try and avoid all the source mythology.

anyway this whole post is barely legible sry lol ill try and make a more coherent lore post on this someday

#ask #ocs #angels #demons

[thegeminisage]

doing a dog sidequest in zelda and i STILL cant pet them. got the ember trousers tho!!! i bet the whole outfit rules i cant wait to see it

wait wait these guys found a bottle...dont tell me its another gerudo love letter lol

oooh clues to the fierce deity armor...i found some already but that's COOL. and i gotta come back to get the sword even tho i snagged it with amiibo already lol

i've decided to clean up some shrines i've neglected to do...i promised myself i'd do more story but i never have TIME to sit down and enjoy it!!

this shrine by snowfield stable was absolutely delightful. 10/10. it feels like such a proper zelda dungeon

omg lol the well here is frozen

FAIRIES........man thats so cool. the way their light works in this game is absolutely stunningly beautiful. i wish they came in different colors like oot

always gotta grab a few seeds wherever i am but now it's time for A Different Shrine

i've got maybe 6-7 shrines i activated but did not do, and 2 shrines i did do but didn't get the chest at.....in hebra lol that was early game bs. "oh i want to have fun now i'll get the chests later" the literal devil talking smh

GOT MY LAST STAMINA WHEEL........taking a break 4 now but man am i ever stoked!!! my "being is overflowed with vigor" apparently. nice.

omg i never realized it but yunobo got added to the goron city statue!!

daruk looks like he's dabbing lol (i'm taking a pic of it for a sidequest)

death mountain intimidates me so i'm biting the bullet and heading to lanayru - i'm working my way from hateno up around the south/east side of the mountain. and i guess from there gradually towards kakariko, although i'm saving the ones in kakariko proper for later

IT'S NAYDRA HEY GIRL

good lord that horn went all the way back down to the ocean lol

omg my map says there's a letter in a bottle here...i see it now, but i can't believe i didn't see it when i was getting korok seeds before

i cheated and i know where the cave is, so i'm not gonna follow the brightbloom seeds. i'm going that way anyway on my korok journey and i don't want to do it twice in a row. koroks robbed me of doign this quest organically!! oh well. it's my own fault for looking at "user contributed" on the map lol

dragging my bike around in this cave with me bc my supplies are so desperately low lol. idw it to respawn i JUST made it

oh........................i don't know if i can get it back out lol

i did it!! it would have been less trouble to make a new bike which sort of defeats the purpose but whatever

mapla point, my old enemy...when i had 899 seeds in botw, here was the missing one

i can see the brightbloom seed trail from here! it's quite beautiful actually, especially at night. the reflections on the dark water..........

i wish i could shoot arrows while riding the bike/any vehicle. that would fucking rule

if theres one thing i do like about koroks its how the boulder rolling puzzles from botw became these put the boulder OUT of the hole into the tree puzzles. really good subversion since rolling boulders into holes is now completely doable with ultrahand without any effort or thinking at all. and thank god for that frankly.

i thot maybe this cave guy would turn out to be a yiga but he was legit lol good for him

ok, before i tackle lanayru proper i need more FANS........always out of mf supplies around here smh

the gacha i use for fans also gives out portable pots and flame emitters, at what feels like a higher rate...i don't use flame emitters often but it's nice to know there will never come a time when i'm not able to cook lol

49 fans, but only 9 steering sticks! if only there was a gacha that gave out nothing BUT fans and steering sticks...bc soon i'll have to go load up on THOSE

kinda good that i need fan refills so often tho bc from there i go straight down to this construct camp and then into the mining cave to trade zonaite for crystalized charges AND there's zonaite mining in there...a good thing to do regularly. i don't have as many problems finding zonaite as i do with that middle step of trading it for crystalized charges lol. i kind of wish they hadn't added that in there

ugh, off to lanayru we go.

it's fine. i have snowboots now, and so many fire arrows

WAIT DROP EVERYTHING STAR PIECE

lmao. warp into lanayru warp out of lanayru

oh my god i left at 2:55am i can't BELIEVE i made it in time. thank you, bike. thank you, dark link armor

ugh. ok. back to. lanayru

first stop of COURSE back to the wisdom spring. girl i finally have that claw

done. one down two to go........i have the claws i just never wind up at the springs lol. i never want to go near the quarry again <3

AWWW addison is here shivering in the cold...he says he eats food to deal with the weather conditions but man!!! buddy!!!!!

love it when he gives me muddlebuds. king

accidentally dropped my bike off the side of the mountain lol. i used recall on it just in time but it went too far before i canceled and dropped into a lizalfos camp. life is so textured

spotted naydra coming out of her hole (and doing just fine). beautiful! sadly not chasing her at this time though rip in peace the mats i could have farmed

plotting my next few korok seeds and apparently there's not one but THREE sets of gloom hands near one of them (purifier lake). no fucking thank you i'm quitting before i get to that one. a problem for tomorrow me

maybe if i'm careful i can fly over them...? eugh there's a shrine near there too. why do they make certain areas scary in both games!! there was a lynel here in botw!!!!

oh it's zelda 🥺🥺🥺 she's so far away though, i can't go chasing her either...babygirl i miss you

ugh fine ok it's the next seed and i don't wanna quit yet...i'm just gonna fly over them. you have to be kinda close for them to spawn...hopefully it will be fine...

yea tho i walk through the shadow of death or whatever i fear no evil if i can fly the fuck over it

successful landing. no hands so far. if i don't move much while i solve this block puzzle. OF ALL THINGS. maybe it will be fine

I DID IT......

AND it looks like the shrine is underground. huge win for me

wow! and one long trip thru an underground road later here i am at the good old promenade. a great place to either start or fuck off from tomorrow <3

#personal #loz blogging #totk lb #totk spoilers #sorry i did the whole day in one post again

[solardick]

Uh. The Vatican has its own country of 500 people.

India 1,4 billion. China 1.4 billion. Canada. 38 million.

So what came first, the chiken or the egg? It’s so odd. Create the image, influences then come to being. … how does that work?… at any rate, the card works. Works as a powerful transmuted christian image. Helpd to pull the carnivorous nature of reptiles, dinosaurs and monsters into a positive momentum. Bearing semblance to magestic creators. Fear in knowing the dangers of its rebuke. If thats not too harsh of a word. Not knowing the still pressence of what should be radiating light. Warm rays of sunshine on a cool departure. Intimidation. Engagement is perplexing.

This card placed ontop of the deck. Centerd between the two 5’s of ten. The pope raising its hand. Two fingers to the sun. Pointing up about to infinity. Save that it can replace the pope card. Breaking out a barrier. balancing the equation between sexes.

Adds definition to strength as harmony. Clashes horrendously with waites magician. Belittling the serpent as a belt to hold up his pants with. Is that its purpose? Well people back then were fucked. Thats the generation that started ww 1 and 2….

It becomes the center card of the deck layout. And the pope card doesnt lose any signicance as it is p’aced above on a spot on high. A throne. Which he is clear’y occupying.

Anyway the two infinity cards from the tarot become the parents to the serpent. Showing the emperor’s holy lineage. Ideally the devil card 15 from tarot modified to the likness of the serpent shows from what the empress is descended from.

Connected to my personalize oO death card numbering 15 connects it again to the sex. Symbolizing that wanting inrush of potency towards the creation of kin. Or to what id expect it to be in reality. Those glowing red cheeks. Mmmnn. Theres nothing more beautiful.

So i was watching some gay porn just the other day and, i felt bad for the bitch. Poor guy. So i went and jerked off to a hot russian getting banged in a sports bar toilet stall.

Well think im just going to start smoking whole cigarettes now and stop ripping them in half, so the girl has less reason to swoon over me. Hate being psychic like that. Since her nature is like that. She locks on to a small detail of something that isnt up to standard or whatever and goes obsessive. Seek and destroy based on her own delusional egotistic set. But. Everything i do is wrong and over agrandized. Its like they all pretend to be my mother. While others do the same. Its on’y a problem if its coming from me. Hows its always been. Time to eeupt. Hurt me some more. Whole other around do worse. Yup. Thats life.

Oh no i no i daid atupid. Time to start freaking the fuck out in bits of over energized destruction! « Hey mom can we” ehat! I said can we…? What?! I said can we? Ehat?! I dont understand you! Blag blah blah. Ok start beating in my face. Sorry i suggested soemthig helpful and posiitve. Oh well, guessnom never talking to you again even ifbit was a life of seath situation. You would listen anyway. Just beat on me some more. While playing to good christian. To all the girls and boys. Fuck off.

Not allowed to escape that reality by the maneuverings of other people. Im here for the sole purpose of being fucked. Laways was. There is no such thing as justice in life. Only punishment. Theres bothign to learn in life except not to try. “Shouldn’t we try to fix this family? Maybe go see a family therapist?” Oh yeah right. No one else cares. You wouldnt even send me to thearapy to save my life. Why did i try?

Your all fucken dead to me. The only differenve i dont go out of my way to fuck your lives. And gere i am 39 years later still being raped by existance. Its all its ever been. Nothing to learn. No wag to grow. Just the same bs from others. The way its alway been. I do t want to be alive anymore. All life does is fuck with me by criminal minds. Unyilnyou lose your sanity and then get fucked some more vause theres actually a good excuse this time. Hahahahahha the world Always sides with evil. There’s noyhing in life for me and theres nothing to do. Dint really have much choice in the matter, being abused into suicide.

While i spend my days serounded by the corrupt, the criminal, the degenerates, the effeminate, the violent and the brains washed gay’s. God forbid if i rather not spend soemtime with members the opposite sex or the proactive masculine.

Now excuse i have to go get high for breakfast and waste the day. Its ok. Im used to it. 25 years and counting. And excuse me if i have flair ups soemtimes. Its alot of pressure. While i wait for yhe first aid training and possibly the organization of health and saftey. After all i may need to save your fucken lives one day. Yay!

A wise serpent without a dove isn’t very gentel now is it?

What?! Sorry i capuld hear you you spoke at the same time as the crows. All i heard was “Caw! Caw! Caw!” Oh, we’re going to be partnering up? Awh…… no. Considering you’re relying on a drug dealer to drive you home everyday. And thats the guy i get paired with. Well either that of the “dipshit” as everyone calls them. Talking about gays and dildos, and sagitarian rape court case and a pimp civic under various trafgic violations whom doesnt take working seriously? Uhm. The gay guy, the criminal, or the combination of the two? Uhm, well, i lose. While i get sexually harassed by a “22” year old whith a similar sounding name as the lygbbq organization that continued suggestion i was a cocksucker after i repeatedly asked her to stop. Durring 2022… ok. Sure why not. What door number is that. The exit door number 22? What is that the fireextinguisher convineently olaced next to the males washroom? Exinguisher number what? 22? What? My ninimum credit payment is what? 22? At the same time as they pulled this shit? Ok.

Am i supposed to learn somethign here? Or is my spyche getting drastically raped by evil? What card is number 22? Nothing by the tarot. Maybe the fool. Maybe the world card. Maybe that magically missing number 22. In the typewritter its thr star card. A naked woman pooring out the spirit. The bestowment of a hope to meet the dream. Passivity to the reception from the collective.

Im not allowed to have a life free from captivity and malicious influences. Why try? I literally don’t know anything else. They’r eproba ly just framing me up to spend the second half of my life in prison.

Om now the small buzz in bottoming and i think my coffe is wearing out. Think i beed to go take a nap.

If one used the wheel. Thinking astrologically. As the twelve seasons. Then thr minor arcana would all occupy a quarter season. The four A-1’s place in the center of the circle facing out. On yhe wheel. One is traveling up. While the current is pulling down faster then one can move. Is consistent the lunar/solar cross sections with that of a serpent. While one swims agaisnt the current, one will only slow the final destination. Until one circles around the circle to the last quarter of fears and dreads, now helplessly trying to swim away from it. Creating this complex based upon repression of lies and delusions as the explanation. To the coming fate. I hate astrology. A fear. And the will to not accept whats (not really) inevitable. Give in to the lie. For when one passes that descendant point the half way. One tries to swim for that balance. Towards the 6th card of the lovers. But, its a lost cause. While one is helplessly being pulled away from it.

… the right side of the circle is comprised of the wands to swords. The left side coins to cups. The angles are A’s and each zodiac house is assigned three cards. The semi-square angle holds a conflict card. The left side of the circle is the individual. Number one. He is surrounded by life affirming cards and accomplishments hard work and discipline. And the bounty of a happy home life is where it ends. One can rise to career or descend to the self and family. Resources ideals, dreams accomplished. On the right side of the chart is all the bad. A relationship to bs. Starts with a desire to leave home. See the world have fun with friends. And where one has to pay the penalty for being alive. It’s pretty depressing. As all things tarot. Which is here shown by the split natures of white and black both cancer and Capricorn share.

Maybe since there’s already an arian plan in opperation all future arians are forced down and oppressed from any divergence. Which isnt set and bound for them to attend. Mostly its just a trophy. Good’lad heres a loolly pop. There’s only death and sorrow if you go any further. Better save it for the militant going on and beyond the capricorn point. To death and war.

So when doing a reading with the minor. Its best to see where in the zodiac it is placed and see what planets are aspecting those degrees. The self then has an added layer of information that isnt neccesarly allocated to “fate”. One then takes the major arcana and plug in the proper card to the appropriete number based on cyclic repetition. Thats what a circle is. The only problem here is that circles are only found in nature in the form of pulses. A ripple in water. The ring of a tree. Its never singular. Beyond that of the sun and the moon. Or a bubble. Circles are never still. Always in motion. Growing outward until it fades. Relying on that drop in its center.

Now the minor arcana is paired to a planet and to a major arcana. Precision grows more clear. Complexity adds reaction. And the star card always fallows the threat, and violence. Which may lead into a world of metal illnesses. As the child tries to distract it’s attention into something else, for the violence goes counter to its well being. Creating a world of delusions and retractions from the world. Adopting a passivity to action. And further reception to something more pleasing. It being a dream. These conditioned dreams based from the collective reception of information, all gets poured into the same cup. There’s no segregation, no separation. One becomes what it is being fed. A desire to do good. And a motivation to be receptive. Like i said. Theres nothign to learn in life. There’s just punishment. Fromoutsode violebce while it being twisted as an echo to be villainized by. Where the origin of the destructive acts take a place of innocence. On and on. From time memorial. Do now the next moon card comes in and the one is screaming at the world. Causing a ruckus. Howling at the moon. To be futher punished by the “good”. Or to praying to god for salvation, or getting shitfaced drunk or using other intoxicants. Which are made abundant and always is easy reach. From time memorial. Cant even be int he seclusion of solitude. Without it. Sorry mom i’m smoking my brothers pot i found hidden behind my poster. In the same room im forces to share with him. Eith this dominant pluto opposition aspect. Fun fun. And well the world as shown me profusly that im just a bitch. Nothigs changed.

What i got an attitude problem needing correction?! No thats ok. Ill a nother beating after they just jumpednon my face. Ok. Sire why not.

Hey! Ho. Stop tellign at your daughter! Your other one detaching from reality right noe becaus eof it. No! I font want to sleep woth you. You have a boyfriend. Fuck off. Stop insisting.

God dames women stop being sexually suggestive! Im trying to socialize jesus! If i wanted to see you naked id just go watch some poor they’re way hotter than you. And if that was the case. I aint no single stand. Cant sleep eoth you even if i wanted to if i don’tt know what im dicking. Kind of hard to enjoy. Maybe the lesson here , Is that i should. Hey stranger. You got a pretty mouth. Wanna fuck? Why you making it sexual for. Now im turned off.

It’s fun to play with power words like this.

God

The son the father and the Holy Ghost.

Draw out the chariot! Move!

Careful what you eat.

-I expect there to be a top qualité Asian movie involving a dove and a dragon coming out. Hopefully it won’t be toO fif.

And thé on l’y appropriate letter to assign to infinity is temperance. Letter R. Not of it directly. But as the minusculed r. Becoming EFr. But this is a new area for me. So I don’ know. The minuscule R serves quite well as temperance’s white dove wings.

DEF as mother, son and father. As the 0-5 card speaks for itself. Def., equals absolute. A definite act. From nothign. O. If one extends on this the holy ghost as the emperors foundation is balances by the empresses dragon/devil card.

As E moves into F. F moves into the equalavent of a capitalized minuscule sembling letter r. Above and beyond that, one finds a straight line. Resembling the capital i as the sun and the minusculed L of the hermit. Or as the number 1 and another journey.

I cleaned her up, coloured her in and her prettier her’d up while, she did the laundry. 14-18

Though it becomes curious when one stops and writes. BRP and again it shows symbolism in motion.

- Doesn't this card just say R. The mirrored angle for the water is neat.

Chicken and the egg and all that. Temperance. On the study of letters.

#tarot #qwerty #tarotblr

[someprettysweet]

cool story bro

let me tell you the story of me falling in love with my best friend. it starts off with us actually being exes and a year later we kinda make up and are okay with each other. we gradually start calling each other every night and i didn't realise it but i started to fall for her again. lets call her LUCY. there was this one time (this was when i didn't know i liked her) where i got her a goodie bag filled with chips and chocolates and her favourite drink because she was on her period. i mean it was sweet but when i did it, idk why but i thought it was just because we were friends but she kept calling me a simp and stuff. cool whatever. then we went out with 2 other friends and that's when i kinda realised that i liked her. i can remember it so clearly i was talking to the other guy who went, and i was saying how that was my favourite ever hangout. i remember feeling that there was just something about that hangout. maybe because it was the first time i drank. or maybe because it was the first time i tried shisha. or maybe it was just because of her. later on we went on our first hangout where it was just the two of us. it kinda started then. we got our nails done. she got this beautiful blueish green colour with some gems on it and i got the cactus plant flea market logo on both my thumbs and then the Vlone logo on my left ring finger and the devil on my right ring finger. we went to eat sushi before that and just hung out. she had to leave early but it was funny cause both our siblings were there and they all suspected we were on a date or we were dating but both of us played it off. this is when it kinda got weird. we started school and it was cute, we would make tiktoks together and everyone would ship us. and that's kinda when i knew i liked her. i remember waiting outside my classroom every morning just because i knew she would walk past me, each time hoping she would strike up a conversation. a while later she told me that one of those times she got butterflies when she saw me outside. it was kinda obvious we had a thing for each other, it reached a point when she was even like i'll just tell everyone we're dating since everyone thinks so and we can just pretend.

a moment which really made me fall was when i went to a seniors house to do a bit of acting for her film and i asked if i could invite Lucy and my other friend (us three later become a trio which is still active to this day) three of us are lying down on this bed and lucy and i are really close. we later move rooms and go to the seniors bedroom. all four of us are sitting on bean bags and lucy is sitting in front of me. this is when she wanted to play around so she tells the senior that we are dating. i go along with it and it's fun. we laugh about it and everything. lucy and i are sharing a blanket the whole time and we are playing with each other. like we are kicking each other, rubbing our legs together and so on. later when the senior gives a tour of her house theres a second house which she also owns (shes rich as fuck) and when we go in lucy pushes me on the bed and looks down on me and that's the exact moment where i fell the hardest i could. later we go to our friends house and lucy decides to continue this fake dating scenario. so my friend are trying to stop us cause lucy and i are basically cuddling and everything on her bed and our friend is getting inbetween us so we keep getting closer and stuff. it was cute we were basically a couple but not.

another hangout with just the three of us (lucy, our friend and i) involved all three of us sitting down on a bed watching a film and our friend purposely sat in the middle just to be a cock block and it was annoying yes but lucy later said that nothing would've happened anyways. but i was upset about that but then later lucy and i were just by ourselves and idk what i said but i said something which made lucy suspicious so she dragged me to another room and pushed me against this wardrobe thing and asked me if i actually liked her. i said no of course. i didn't want to lose face and she said 'thank god'. ( just thinking about that moment makes me want to die loooool ) but then i asked if she likes me and she said no. so cool okay. (later on i told her that i really wanted to kiss her then and she said that i should've. she would've kissed me back) cool moving on.

her ex comes back to school. this is where it kinda falls apart.

before her ex came, it was always lucy and i. but once he came back it was lucy and him. it reached to a point where i had to text him for her, asking about his hair or asking what time he's doing this and that. she liked him again and that kinda fucked us up. if there ever was an us. but it got to the point where i always did everything for her and nothing was reciprocated. we had a new years party and i was taking care of her since she was drunk. she non stopped talked about him and that was the moment where i was like 'yeah i gotta stop'. i had a thing with my ex after which pissed her off (but that's another story).

ever since then there were moments where i felt like a like her, like when she went to my house for a bit and we just hung out and talked or another time when i went to her house. in my opinion, recently it feels like we have a thing again but she then would talk about that same ex cause they also have something going on at the same time. like each time i see her and there are pillows we pillow fight, but she'll highlight how we fight for blood, when i'm fighting for love. (corny fuck). overall, i think i just have a soft spot for her and i always will. she's the type of girl who doesn't realise she's the prettiest one in the room. she's the type of girl who you would want to be your forever. but she's not that type of girl for me. and that's ok.

when i talk about later we talked about if i should've done that or how she felt in that moment, it was just because we both talked about how we liked each other at the same time and how it was cringy and whatever. we are still friends till this day and i wouldn't want it to be any different.

love you lucy, for real

[shadowfae]

There's gotta be people who lie in the middle ground between otherkin and copinglinkers, right?

This just reminds me of the "can people choose to be trans" discourse and personally I've never found the value in trying to find a clean dividing line between people who "choose" to be trans and people who "are" trans, like obviously some people feel dysphoria much more than others and it's important to recognize that, but that doesn't mean theres some "how miserable would you be if you were forced to be cis" test that can decide who is a Valid Trans Person or not. It feels to me like it might be the same with the broader otherkin spectrum, but admittedly I don't know much about the community?

That said, the otherkin community has been really cool and like, when I go digging in early internet history I often find beautifully preserved histories and narratives from otherkin blogs about communities and sites that people frequented. And that's something I'm forever grateful for. I'm glad that there are still folks out there who pass on that history and find value in those communities.

Okay so I waited until I’d officially gotten out of bed (yes, everything I’ve done today was on my phone in bed) to answer this properly.

The thing that I’ve never much mentioned in my place of this argument - and I feel that if I’m going to, I should have a few personal essays to publish first in order to make my point clearly - is that at least for me, my kintypes and my linktypes feel so different there is absolutely no way I could mistake them for each other.

That’s why I’m not calling whatever’s going on with the Xweetok stuff a linktype, because there’s no choice there, it’s just me getting hit in the face with Xweetok animality and trying to figure out what it all means.

My kintypes are intrinsic to my personality. If you leave me alone for a bit, or put me somewhere where I feel totally, completely safe, I go so feral it’s not even funny. I growl. I hiss. My ears, tail(s), and wings do all my body language for me. I walk as digitigrade as a human is capable of. I settle into the mentality of an animal, except for when I slide into dignity and divinity, or when you hand me a piece of technology and then I’m as gruff as a pirate and humming to lyrics nobody else can hear.

My linktypes? Something happens. Panic, anger, fear, terror. I am [insert linktype here], here is what it is correct for me to do, here is what I will do, I navigate my way out of it with grace, I handle it as my linktypes would. Things hurt and I settle into their skin, if only for a little while. When their skin is hard to settle it, I simply change it. Being Kiyoteru was a way for me to understand my own sexual awakening when I’d never been safe enough to recognize my own animality, until I fused it with Luteia kinfeels into the world’s worst coping mechanism (don’t do that, kids) and did some things I’m very much not proud of.

Being Yukari was an answer to dysphoria and social ostracization that served me for quite a long time, and that I no longer need, because I am slightly more comfortable in my own skin. It was a matter of personality and aeslinking: she was a moon-girl who liked warm tea on snowy days and pretty poetry and rabbits. I never had her connection to rabbits, they’re just pets to me, but when I needed it I could pretend to be near a bunny the way she probably was bunnyhearted, and I could be a moon-girl until the sun came up for me.

My kintypes are deeper than that. Ranisson and Pale do seem a matter of personality, being as they are the closest to human, except for all the places where their experiences built them from the ground up. As Pale I was a Devil without his powers that didn’t quite know it enough to stop reaching for more power. As Ranisson, I was a girl in a war that was going to end with everyone I cared about dead, and I almost didn’t care, because we’d all be in the hivemind and I’d never be alone again.

Kiyoteru and Yukari were not that way. They were blank canvases that I could change as I needed to, for the purposes of saving me from myself. Even if they’d had actual stories, even if they were more than pretty faces and aesthetics, I would have made them do as I pleased to get me through.

From the inside, linktypes and kintypes seem so fundamentally different to me that I honestly find it hard to see a middle ground there. I’m not everyone, for some there absolutely is a middle. For some, they really can just ignore their own nonhumanity and walk away unscathed. There will always be a gray area, a fringe case or seven, a middle ground where nobody can define where it stops. And I’m not going to be the one to lay down what that middle ground is, because it is antithetical to my entire existence and experience, and it’s something I will never understand for my own.

I insist that everyone be clear about the terms that fit them to the best of their ability because I don’t like being lied to, especially after I’ve placed my trust in people to tell the truth. I don’t trust a salesman, but I’ll try any answer on StackOverflow once. You give me an answer on SO to a complex problem that fucks up my computer, I’m going to be pissed. You lie to me knowingly about your nonhuman/fictional identity in our tags, I’m going to be pissed.

If people say “this is an identity and I don’t know how voluntary it is” I go “yeah okay fair enough.” If they say they’re one or the other, I say the same. If they say they’re one and their experiences match the other, I’ll point that out. If they proceed to insult me and tell me I’m a gatekeeper, I am going to be pissed.

And then if they proceed to throw death threats in my face, I will be furious. I think I have every right to be in that case, and I have no use for those who would side with that sort of person. That’s all anyone’s been asking. Be where you are but be honest about your experiences, and we’ll find a place for you. Even if you say “I’m a linker, but I feel better in this space for otherkin, are we cool with me being here?” the answer will be yes, and then we’ll probably bring you our questions about your experiences. That’s what we do. We ask about others’ experiences and we nitpick how they work because they’re fascinating.

We preserve our history because we have to know where we come from. We have to know we’re not alone. I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to read the history of the community they’re from. Now maybe it’s that I have no ties to my own heritage by blood, and those who do aren’t so interested, but if anything happened to our history I don’t know what I’d do. We need it to say no, if we’re crazy it’s not for this, that this is truly what we are, that we are not the first to have walked this path, and that those who came before us survived to tell the tale.

I am what I am. Everyone else is what they are. So long as people say that, then I have no issues with anyone about it.

#asks #anonymous #on wishkin #on terminology #on copinglinking #on experiences #you'd figure i'd have a catchall tag for my experiences #but i fuckin don't #Anonymous

[excvlsior]

about: *leo fowler.

basics.

full name: leopold kristoff fowler meaning of name: leopold = ‘people’ & ‘bold’, kristoff = ‘bearing christ’ nickname: leo, tadpole by some family members age: 23 date of birth: november 12, 1996 hometown: tallahassee, florida nationality: american ethnicity: dutch gender: demiboy sexuality: pansexual spoken languages: dutch, english profession: in lovell he’s a part time student and works at fowler’s flowers, but just the latter in st. louis

appearance.

height: 6′2″ eye colour: blue hair colour: auburn??? i feel like that’s the version of if someone had strawberry blond hair bt . strawberry brown instead??? idk it’s reddy-brown voice: pretty deep, surprisingly smooth jst feel like he has the personality of someone with a rougher voice bt . alas...... obnoxiously thick southern accent tattoos: c’est la vie on his ribcage, kristoff on his hip, ‘x’ on the inside of his middle finger done in shitty stick and poke, ‘L’ done in stick and poke on the side of his wrist, heart with a knife through it on his chest, tattoo inside his lip that says ‘pussy master’* :pensive:, ‘ouch’ on the bottom of both soles of his feet*, a hand giving the middle finger on the back of his left calf, dolly parton’s signature on the top of his thigh from when he got it at one of her concerts, a smiley face on his ass* >_>, a melting popsicle on the back of his right bicep*, ghost face mask on his right shin; * = he did them on a dare LKHSDGKLHLSDG piercings: lobes, right cartilage, industrial bar in his left ear, nostril, had an eyebrow and lip piercing when he was younger clothing style: pretty dishevelled and purposely ill prepared outfits, sometimes u can catch him in just plaid and khakis but more often than not he’s in something weird, his prized possession is a leopard print shirt that has a heart in the center, steals clothes from his aunt and uncle when he has nothing clean/can’t bother finding anything, been seen in marj’s skirts and leggings bc of this, and then on the other hand he’ll wear like a lime green tank top with a monster baseball cap worn sideways his style is just carefree and eclectic

health.

physical ailments: n/a neurological conditions: bipolar i disorder allergies: n/a sleeping habits: pretty much only falls asleep between the hours of 3-5 am, doesn’t matter if he works the morning or afternoon shift....... if he doesn’t work at all he’ll just sleep until his body naturally wakes up which is also usually around 3-5 pm KLSDGLKHSDGLKHDG exercise habits: doesn’t exactly have one..... he’s a pretty active and energetic guy so he’s usually up and about doing whatever anyway, also rides his bike everywhere since marj and steve r usually out with the only car they have sociability: loves being around people but he’ll eventually grow cranky, doesn’t necessarily need to be alone but at least with a different group of people if he gets to this point, the only time he actively doesn’t really want to see people is when he’s having a depressive episode but those don’t last too long as is drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

personality.

positive traits: adventurous, courageous, determined, funny, gregarious, independent, quick-witted, tough, versatile negative traits: belligerent, cantankerous, foolhardy, harsh, impulsive, parsimonious, sarcastic, tactless, unpredictable, vulgar goals/desires: lowkey he’d never admit it but he just kinda wants his parents’ approval in the end, and also maybe to find something better than supervisor at a flower store (no offence to marj and steve its just not his dream) fears: staying committed and missing out on different opportunities/people that could change his life, the fact that he probably can’t do any better than be a supervisor at a flower store tbh hobbies: drinking, drawing a bit tbh, thrifting, loves collecting random knick knacks and is personally loving buttons rn, harassing his friends<3, making stupid tiktoks that somehow have gotten him a kind of big following habits: swearing obnoxiously without caring, yells in dutch when he’s frustrated which he’s mostly picked up on cuz everyone else in his family does it, stares more than what is socially acceptable tbh, refuses to walk under ladders

favourites.

weather: sunny with some clouds colour: dark green music: likes a lot of 90s and early 2000s rap and rock, old school country like he loves dolly parton LKSDHGKLHSDGLK rly enjoys elvis presley too, some edm or anything that he can jst dance wildly to movies: old school slasher films, screams his fav movie series ever food: spaghetti bt specifically w marj’s Phenom homemade meat sauce<3 drink: grape juice, whiskey sour

relationships.

father: steven fowler is his uncle but currently his legal guardian, he’s a co-owner of fowler’s flowers and is kind of a mess but in like the fun way....... LKSHDGKLHSLDG he just spends a lot of the day in nothing but boxers and socks w their cat on his lap watching the weather report if he’s not working, has the weird energy of someone who would be running like a joke shop instead of being a florist. archibald fowler is leo’s biological dad but he sucks Big Time, giant business typhoon i hvnt . figured out 100% wht sort of business bt hes got Money bt doesnt even rly want anything to do w leo he jst sees him as a massive disappointment bc archie’s nothing but a loser fart of a square. mother: marjorie fowler’s his aunt and other legal guardian also the other co-owner of fowler’s flowers, literally the sweetest woman on the planet like she’s never done anything wrong in her life n u can take tht to the bank. she’s a bit weird n super spiritual, their house constantly smells like random herbs and rly intensely of flowers and plants bc she makes so many home remedies bt she’s an angel a fkin ANGEL!!!!! renata kline’s leo’s mom n she’s like . fine ig she was pretty negligent n her best friend is a bottle of wine....... she rly peaked at a young age when she was a pageant girl n she still coaches n stuff now bt she’s obvs rly sad so leo tries not to lose it on her too much even tho he thinks she’s annoying LKSHDGKLHSLDKGKLSDG siblings: augustus is his oldest brother and he’s pretty cool, probs the brother leo is closest with even tho he considers him boring bt it’s only bc he’s . actually responsible n wht not they had a lot of fun growing up together tho when leo visited new york. mikhael is the devil, he’s actually a bit of a cunt n both him n leo have expressed their hatred fr each other without missing a beat i think they actually dnt hv any love or affection fr the other in the slightest SKLDHGLKSDHG. vaughn n leo r closest in age he’s not tht much younger n he’s probs the shiest of them, pretty soft spoken n well meaning, him n leo dnt rly keep in contact too much anymore bt theres a special place in his heart fr vaughn he’s pretty protective even tho he bullies him a lot bt thts besides the point. willhelm’s the youngest n it kinda shows he’s pretty idgaf attitude n rly blunt bt he’s also funny n probs the biggest partier outside of leo so he gets a pass whenever he rolls his eyes in leo’s face. pets: mitzie’s an 8 year old tortoiseshell cat who lives primarily on ppls laps shes literally more lap dog than cat significant other: n/a family’s financial status: middle class

extra.

zodiac sign: scorpio<3 mbti: estp - the entrepeneur enneagram: the epicure temperament: sanguine hogwarts house: gryffindor moral alignment: chaotic neutral primary vice: pride primary virtue: dilligence element: fire

#muse | leo fowler. #dabs my forehead #this took me a thousand years bt the deeds #finally done.

[princelestatdelioncourt]

Part l “Just a Day”

*fanfic*

-sighs-

Seated alone in my cold room. Only the fire place provided with the enough warmth at least close to where I was seated at. That old medieval chair. The dogs were sleeping by my side and they were the only companion I had for so many days and nights. I stared at the fire, crisp, listening to the sounds of the logs being burned down and the cracking. Hypnotized by these flames. I thought about many things at the same time I thought about nothing.

Lately, things at home were much more cold, distant and irritable. The relationship with my brothers and Father became more like that since that day I started to go out hunting a few years ago at the age of 16.

They go to church, pretend to do good, spent all the money on my brothers weddings and marriage arrangements, they pray and do all these monarch things one is suppose to be doing. Me? Everything on the contrary. I go hunting, I didn’t believe in God, I questioned, I drank, I committed sin…all in the purpose to break my routine, to what I believed or perhaps to be happy with myself. But I was really happy? I can’t answer to that. I don’t have a proper answer. Yes I was, No I was not.

What was good at this point in my life? I was alive, I went hunting, I provided food, I fixed the vineyards or whatever it was needed to be fixed or at least taken care of, while they seated in their rooms and complain or pointed at me “Lestat!”. I protested, I fought I was upset but yet there I went hunting and providing and the fact to see the food on the table was provided by me and they had food to eat and not to starve, so I was content when it these things happened.

Self-love… Good job Lestat. I said to myself. Now what? Grab your pistol and go hunting again or to go your room and eat whatever it was left in the kitchen if anything or go to the tavern and drink and commit sin to whoever approached. 

No one knows know how much I loved to ride my horse as fast as I could and feel free. That freedom, the mountains, the horse, the dogs, the sun in my face or even if it was snowing or raining, I was always outside, I felt free...It was just me and my happiness. Away from these thick walls, having to listen to my brothers, to fight with them, to stay quiet in my room under key but at least I had my mother. The only one reason to keep me sane at home.

Not even if we never spoke much but we understood each other. Always. One gaze, one gesture…we knew, we understood. And she was the only one who stopped the fights and beatings. What I or where I would be if she wasn’t there…dead perhaps.

Wasn’t much different today after all these thoughts in my mind staring at the fire, in my room.

I finally stood up and grabbed my jacket and decided to go to the Tavern to break once again the daily routine, I had time to do that before starting once again my duties.

I kissed the dogs and left my room towards the barn and down the old road I went with my horse to the Village.

It was a sunny but windy day. Not bad. I enjoyed the cold air yet it was freezing me. I looked down at my hands, no globes, holding the reins and I realized…I was wearing the same clothes again. Not that I had much. Two pair of boots, shirts, jackets for winter and for summer. I just gave a small sigh and didn’t care much about it anymore.

Upon arrival I went in to the Tavern. Wasn’t too crowded. Good.I didn't feel dealing with anyone but just drink cold wine.

I sat at the very end, on a corner table away from people. Yes I am a loner. I didn’t want to interact with anyone, I saw their eyes on me, Of course, I was the Lord for them. I never cared. I hated it actually. It made me feel more alone to be treated like that. Yet I was craving for attention and love and understanding.

I sat there and my lovely friendly servant came with a jar of wine.

-Monsieur- she said with her lovely voice, giving a quick look around so the people present was aware of her modesty while pouring wine to my cup and finally looking at me with a smile.

-Oh please don’t call me that- I replied with no giving importance to the title. As I said I never cared.

-But you are- she said and seated beside me on that bench.

Yes I knew her. Yes we knew each other. Yes we committed sin together many times. There was our connection.

I looked at her and drank from my cup. The wine was cold and it felt so good, I drank it all at once.

-You are going to end up drunk drinking that fast- she said grabbing the cup from my hand and pouring more

-Does it matter?- I gave a shoulder shrug and a smile

She leaned closer and kissed my neck. I closed my eyes for a moment. I knew what was coming. It was actually that my duty? To bed with the girls from the Village because I was the Lord? And once again these questions in my mind…what that good, what that bad? Is there a God that will condemn me to Hell for my sins? Is there actually a God? A Devil? Yet I felt miserable.

I stopped myself to all these questions and I came back to the place I was. At the tavern seated on that old bench and the servant kissing my neck and the surrounding sounds of people talking , drinking and the fire cracking.

Her hand now on my chest.

- Lets go to my room Lestat- She whispered into my ear on such tender way how I could say no to that.

I didn’t say anything, neither I moved. I stared at the infinite but I was fully aware of my surroundings. Avoiding these questions in my mind. Now she wanted me to go to her room. And that will generate a very brief happy encounter. And there I was questioning myself again…I was about to do good? Or bad? She wanted me happy, I wanted her happy, I wanted to give her my love, with no harm. It was for me, for her, for us. In that Village in the middle of nowhere in the mountains. We had each other. At least for these brief moments.Our happiness if that was actually one to be happy.

I leaned closer to her and nibbled my face on her neck. I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to use her, I didn’t want to hurt her but I was craving for love, for care. I never knew what true love was but just all these affections coming from whoever I slept with. My dogs. My horse, Hunting. The sun, The Moon. My mother’s eyes…that was l the only love I knew of.

She smelled wine, chimney smoke, flour…

-I can’t stay long…- I replied to her brushing my lips over to her warm skin

-Come – She grabbed my hand. She stood up first and then made me to move pulling from my hand. – come…- she added with a smile

I finally obeyed.

We walked towards her room, which was actually an attached house to the Tavern. Bottle of wine on hand, there we walked to her home. And one could still hear the noises from the Tavern, just right next door.

I sat on that old blanket by the fireplace, elbows resting on that hard floor, knees vended. I drank from the bottle of wine while I was looking at her walking towards me. She went down to her knees between my legs. Her hands rubbing my legs. I drank some more. At that point I could feel my body responding to her hands over my legs. She finally leaned forward and kissed my lips. I allowed a few moments to feel that sensation. Her moist lips over mine. Wanting mine to return that kiss. And so I did.

I returned her kiss slowly, tasting her lips. Her hand went under my shirt –Your hands are so cold- I protested with a slight movement of my body.

-Soon they will be warm- she said against my lips

We kisses over and over again. I could feel her body opening for me and mine ready to take her. We were not even naked, there was not time for that. Just enough fabric to be pulled aside for our bodies to feel each other. Under her dress.

Not even 10 minutes later it was all done. These few moments came and dissipated like nothing ever happened before.

-You couldn’t wait too long today huh?- she asked me seated on my lap.

I was all spread over that blanket. I was relaxed. I was smiling. Just wanting to be there, to sleep on that hard floor by the fireplace. Away from the chateau…yes sleep…but I could not.

I looked at her, still seated on my lap. I could feel her naked skin against mine. In purpose she moved herself on certain ways to provoke me again.

-I can’t stay- I told her with a smile knowing she was doing all of that to make me stay. My hands holding her hips. I wanted to stay but I could not… I didn’t want to. I made us roll over the blanket and kissed her lips. Laying down on top of her for a brief moment. It actually feel good and I truly wanted to sleep but I had to go.

-You feel good. Your body on top of mine- She said to me with her fingers tangled in my hair.

-hmm yes you feel good as well- I kissed her once more and I moved away. Fixing my pants and standing up. I looked down at her and smiled -but I told you I cant stay-

She stood up and embraced me. I grabbed the bottle of wine and drank some more. We walked towards the home door that connected with the Tavern. She was shorted than me, perhaps around 5′2 or somewhat around there. I looked down at her eyes and wrapped my arms around her waist, against the wall and I kissed her once again. I told my body to stop before I could see myself going back to that room and take her again.

-Listen,  come to the Chateau tonight...ok?- I asked her

-To the ..Chateau?- she asked me with surprise

-Yes. Unless theres another Chateau around here which I dont think so yes, the Chateau- I chuckled

Obviously she never stepped into a castle before. She only knew about it from the Village. Never , no one from the Village came up hill to the Chateau unless it was for a debt or a father upset becasue he found out I slept with his daughter. But for a woman to come up there, no never.

-I will wait for you outside...bring cheese! and wine- I requested while kissing her neck and lips, as gentle as I could. Why I invited her to my home? I dont know I simply did with my good intentions. To sin again. To have cheese. And her company I suppose. I dont know. I simply invited her.

-Ok yes yes sure! yes... - she was excited. I could feel her excitement.

-Good. I will wait outside by the bridge as I said. I need to finish some things this afternoon but I will await there after dinner. Past 10 when everybody already sleeps- I told her and I kissed her lips once more.

-Monsieur- A man approached. A farmer. -Monsieur I do need of your help

I looked at him. I was quite surprised to his words.

I de tangled from her embrace and spoke to the man.

-Of my help?- I replied curious to know more

-Yes Monsieur. My sheeps are all dead. A wolf, maybe two. Killed them all- he said to me with the same tone a Villager will talk to his Lord.

-And what can I do about that?- I just simply replied

-I am aware of your precise hand and hunting. Good arm of yours. The wolves will continue to come down to the Village and kill everything we have to provide you my Lord and our families- He said with the same tone.

-Ok...I will go up to the mountains and kill that wolf. Be assure of that and you and your family will live in peace- I replied as much polite as I could. Remember I never cared to me a Lord but raised myself , alone, outside...so my modesty wasn't as good unless I wanted to.

-Thank you my Lord..God bless you- He said to me politely almost bowing

Oh how much I hated that, the Lord, the God,  the politeness...I hated it.

I simply bowed my head trying not to make a face of hating all of that. And as soon as he left I returned my attention to my beloved servant.

-Lestat, be careful. I am scared about the wolf- She said worried about the Village words and knowing I was going to kill the wolf

-Its just a dog- I replied not giving importance

-Its not a dog Lestat, is a wolf- she said

-Its a dog. How many legs has a wolf? 4 right? then its like a dog. I will be fine. Oh come one, now,I know how to hunt. You dont get worried about me because I will go kill a wolf...its just a wolf- I replied with not caring much about the situation

-Lestat!- she replied

-Enough...!- I stared at her, I was getting annoyed about all of this wolf thing so I changed the point of that conversation -Tonight, ok? Tonight, us, the Chateau..past 10 ok?-

-Ok yes, yes tonight..- she replied

-Ok good- I grabbed the bottle of wine and drank some more leaving it to the table next to us. She had her arms around me. And I was starting to feel claustrophobic with the Tavern smells, the noises, her arms and now the wolf situation.

-I have to go...- I de tangled her arms around me as gentle as possible not making any sign of my annoyance -I will see you tonight. Dont forget the cheese...- I smiled at her and kissed her lips once more

-I will not forget- She looked at me and smiled

I gave her a small bow and smile and walked towards the door.

Fresh air once again. Yes. I needed that. I mounted my horse and went up hill as fast as I could for a few moments. I needed that freedom before returning again to be closed inside these thick walls.

I approached the castle, went to the barn. De mounted the horse and covered with an old blanket I used it for the cold night and went back to my duties. Grass, vineyards, fences...at least we had food for that night....

TO BE CONTINUED...PART ll “JUST A NIGHT”

#Mortal Lestat #//this is just a story to what I think it could has been a day in his life #fanfic

[ariesbilly]

i said i was done but im not cuz this shit is genuinely pissing me off to my core and its just highlighting a bigger problem that is riverdales inherit sexism ESPECIALLY when it comes to the adult characters AND how the jones men SPECIFICALLY always get let off the goddamn hook and like

i know i might be jumping the gun here but that article just read to me like theyre gonna try and make seniors ass a sympathetic character and i can already see some shit going down where jughead tries to bring fp and senior together (or even if fp and senior have to work together in regards to jugheads disappearance or whatever is happening in the flash forward) and... HARD FUCKING PASS

no matter what narrative you wanna go with (senior kicking fp out at 16 or senior BREAKING FPS ARM and forcing him into joining a gang) senior is NOT. A. GOOD. PERSON. and since the arm breaking is the newest canon we have. that makes this whole thing ESPECIALLY ugly.

meanwhile you got characters like gladys, jugheads own mother, who got treated like the fucking devil (and will no doubt be shown as an even bigger problem when/if she comes back cuz oh no flice is a thing now and how dare she disrupt the peace! coming back to her own family.... what a monster...) when, lets face it, she truly did not do anything wrong. like okay she sold drugs. to make money to feed her family and buy them a nice ass house. like spare me the fucking half assed morality after jughead done cut up a womans arm for no reason.

meanwhile you got characters like penelope who were adopted into being a child bride and that trauma is never brought up at ALL and shes forced into being homophobic so ras can have his gross ass conversion therapy plot that served no fucking purpose beyond getting ch*ni together and further pushing the “penelopes a villain” narrative WHILE HER ABUSER GOES ON UNSCATHED AND IS EVEN PROPPED UP IN THE NARRATIVE CONTINUOUSLY! 

AND THE FUCKING KICKER IS NONE OF THIS EVEN NEEDS TO BE HAPPENING BECAUSE SENIOR WAS DEAD AS OF LAST SEASON! THERES NO FUCKING REASON FOR HIM TO BE BACK AND ALIVE! RAS JUST CANT KEEP A FUCKING STORY STRAIGHT!

this entire narrative is a waste of everyones time and if they truly go out and play a ~woe is me~ schtick with senior and if theres a redemption arc for him of any kind im gonna blow a fuse. 

“i know i broke your arm when you were a teenager, son, but lets let bygones be bygones, ammirite?” 

fuck outta here

#ok NOW im done

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.

#quill's swill #quill's swill 2018 #worst of the year #review #opinion

[barberwitch]

I'm new to witchcraft and was wondering if you had any resources that I could dig into? There's just so much available online, and I'm afraid of getting it wrong.

First off, everyone’s path is different, so getting it wrong isn’t something you need to worry about. If it resonates with you then awesome! That’s your path. I can understand finding something that does resonate with you can be overwhelming when there’s so much out there now, but starting is half the battle.*

To be perfectly honest, a lot of my path is based on folklore, traditions I’ve read up on and reference books on matters that aren’t directly witchy! An important part of witchcraft is realizing you will always be learning.

One book that’s big, but covers numerous topics is The Element Encyclopedia of Witchcraft, by Judika Illes.It covers pretty much every topic in witchcraft in one way or another and can give you enough information on even random topics to let you decide if you want to do additional research.

Plants of the Devil by Corrine BoyerAnother wonderful book that is has sources listed on every page and pretty neat artwork at the beginning of each chapter. It covers herbs and plants that are “dark” in nature either by being associated with witches, demons or creatures of the night. It, again, gives you enough information to see what you want to further research and look up. References plants and their stories of either invoking aforementioned creatures, or protecting against. It’s small and relatively cheap.

Grimoire for the Green Witch, by Ann MouraAlthough it leaves a…distinctly Wiccan aftertaste, it is another great book. It lays out pagan holidays, symbols, tarot meanings, runes and orgham alphabets, rituals and spells that you can adapt, correspondences for common herbs, planetary symbols and signifiers, and plenty of other stuff. Take what you like, and leave the rest.

Aside from that, since my path is pretty specific, I have a ton of other books that aren’t witchy in purpose. I’ve got books on death and forms of burial in different cultures, mythology from different places, scientific books, chemistry, diy and craft books, gardening and woodworking etc etc.

Read reference guides on plant identification and field guides especially if you’re interested in wild crafting or harvesting stuff in nature.Read up on the laws in your area to make sure if you decide to use vulture culture you aren’t collecting something illegal (for example, in the US, it’s illegal to collect anything from wild birds as part of the migratory bird act. It’s also illegal to own parts of any raptor birds unless you have a license as a scientific research center, or First Nation people as specifically related to on reservation traditions.)

Become familiar with the local flora and fauna and see if anything pops out to you, see if anything connects.

Look up local folklore and legends in your area for Information, and read up on your own culture. If you’re of Italian background, read up stregheria, Hispanic, curanderismo, theres Appalachian folk magic, hoodoo and voodoo, Jewish mysticism, Christian witches, German American Pow-wow, hundreds of cultures have something magical about them.*just make sure you are being respectful when asking about the cultures and practicing them. If it is a closed culture or practice and you aren’t a part of that group, then respect it, learn about it if they allow you, and move on. With so many different cultures and backgrounds, there’s a tradition you can lean on whatever or wherever you’re from so don’t feel like your missing out because you can’t participate in one specific path.You do a disservice to yourself if you box yourself in like that and assume that each branch of the magical tree doesn’t have merit.

🦇cheers, Barberwitch

SPECIAL NOTE: I understand books can get expensive, I want to credit the authors and give them my money for their work, but I’ll be honest, I do have a few PDF’s that I didn’t buy off the kindle website. I’m not condoning the stealing of PDFs or books…that’s why I can’t post links to online resources of the above books. If I download something, if I make it through the first 4 chapters, I buy the physical book. If I buy a physical book and it’s huge, and i don’t want to lug around 30 lbs of books, I see if there’s a pdf of the book I can read on the go….morally ambiguous witch here…Please send me a DM Anonymous, if I know more about what sounds more you, I can direct you to good researched books, and online sources, or even witches of that background that are more qualified!

#witchy asks #witchblr #books on witchcraft #witchy books #witch #witchcraft #witch research #new witch #ask a witch #witch advice

[jujuismental]

Religion. Sigh.

I do understand the need for some sort of religion. Sometimes you need to escape to something. Life is fudgeing unbearable otherwise. You need to make sense of all the people dying and injustice in the world. You need to make yourself feel better about all of that (things will be better and more fair in the afterlife). And most importantly you need to hold people accountable to good and bad (subjective but basically morals). If not for religion, some people (not all) would be doing whatever the fuck filthy things they wanted. Take all these problems you don’t have solutions for and solve them with something called religion.

Religion comes in many forms and every religion claims to be “the right religion”. Especially Islam. Even if the religion acknowledge other religions.. still people fight to death over religion. Because so many religions were created, the world has been divided further beyond race or nationality. The part that no one really seems to question... is the religion you have today is the one you grew up with.... the one you will naturally believe in.... You will laugh at other religions, and dismiss them as silly or wrong. But what’s quite interesting is that if you were born in another place and time you would be born with a different religion and possibly laughing at your current religion.

I grew up muslim and never thought about its credibility because my parents weren’t that strict. All it meant for me was to not eat pork and not kiss boys (boys weren’t my type anyways). I wasn’t concerned about it that much till I started taking religion classes and at the same time dealing with my sexuality. I grew up really confused with my sexuality, and I finally came to terms with it in Gr. 12. But that meant I fit nowhere in my religion. I was reading in the quran that I was to be stoned, and eventually go to hell in the “afterlife”. God suddenly became so evil-like to me. The more I turned the pages, ironically the more I saw him as the devil. Why would God want to burn people whom he has created, over who they love? Why would God silently observe people suffer on Earth over a game of hell or heaven? And jeez, why are women perceived less important than men? Why do they need to cover their hair and their faces and bodies? All this rage led to me watching athiesm vs islam debates on youtube at 4am for half of grade 12. It ended with me deciding to be athiest. But not for long..

A few months later, my dad passed away suddenly. It was the worst time to be athiest.. that would mean I would never see my dad again. He died and thats it. He’s nothing. I found myself needing religion again. I had to revisit the topic. I wanted to see my Dad again. And I realized how important religion was for this very purpose. Yet I still couldn’t agree with its principles and ideas. I still couldn’t fit into any religion, even though I saw the value it brings in times like this.

So..

I compromised to being agnostic. It gave me more peace, knowing that I don’t know if I will see my dad again but I hope I might. The main idea of being agnostic is that you don’t know what you don’t know. You cannot claim the world was created by a God just as much as you cannot claim the world wasn’t created by a God. Ideally you want to believe there’s a God and a meaning behind all of this, because it makes you happier. But just because you want it, doesn’t mean it’s true. I realized that theres no way to tell for sure, so I am at peace being agnostic rather than athiest. It’s not that I don’t believe in a God, I don’t believe I can rely on God.

Something that will always affect me is the idea of death. One day somebody is alive and laughing, the next day they could completely dead in their grave. One by one each organ shuts down. Are we just a mere body in the end? If the soul lives on, does that make sense? But suppose someone gets into an accident that damages their brain. They forget everything, and are almost somebody else. We are nothing without our brain, and the brain is just an organ. Is the soul just an organ?

Although religion isn’t important to me at all, I still struggle with the idea of death and what it means to lose someone permanently. I wonder how I will be able to cope with these things without a religion in the future. I wonder how long my lack of faith will last. If I were to believe in a God, I’d have to invent a more loving one, one that loves me for who I am. One that actually cares about all the people out there. One that doesn’t hide out for millions of years watching silently. One that isn’t obsessed with people worshipping him or her like slaves. That would be a God I would believe in. And that God doesn’t exist (yet). But how come the opposite does? Is God a reflection of humanity or is humanity a reflection of God?

#religion #athiest #agnostic #god #grief

[illusionlock]

under the cut bc uhhhhhhhhh its a lot

chapter 3 spoilers too

i still like alice, i dont think she is bad, she just seems to be, desperately trying to fix herself, she seems like the kind of person who tried her best to be good, to impress, but when all that failed, when no matter what everything went downhill, she just got tired of playing nice. n i understand, i rly do. just. what the hell tho. do you rly need to go to those lenghts. cant wee just talk alice. cant we

joey you manipulative fuck... pals you just cannot trust men

from my view, susie fused with alice out of pure spite, to somehow prove to joey she could still be alice, but it ended up making a very... fucked up fusion. from the way alice talks even, she knew susie, n susie convinced her to do it, in a possibly manipulative manner, but it happened.

actually, heres what i think: humans rnt meant to fuse with toons. toons n humans can exist separately from one another (even if in imperfect forms, like in the butcher gang or all the other boris’, even the searchers r perhaps prototype toons) but they rnt meant to fuse. if they do, they create an amalgalm, a badly mutated copy of what that toon used to be.

alice kind of explains how toons r born? theyre born spontaneously, burst out of puddles. said puddles probably come from the machine (?) n theyre born in the bundles. alice talks of hearing multiple voices inside the puddles. considering whatever weird supernatural shit joey was involved in, those voices were likely souls conjured up to animate whatever being was gonna burst outta there.

theres a theory about being like, the first ink machine made imperfect toons, n the second made them correctly, which might be why alice said her second form was the angel form. i dont disagree, but i also rly like the idea that toons face some kind of evolution. the searchers would be the most basic stage, the butcher gang we see is probably in its imperfect stages still, until the very later stages, which i imagine the boris’ have reached, though they still seem to come with varying levels of ‘perfection’. thought there r no multiple alices or bendys. what caused boris to be so ‘mass produced’?

i mean alice does say ‘that is the most perfect boris...’ and refers to him as an ‘it’. were boris’ like, just made in the bundles bc they were easy to make n helped around? i mean boris’ personality is very helpful n loyal, like a dog, so i imagine joey wanting to mass produce boris only for the purpose of having lots of handymen who dont question orders

speaking of themes of perfection, theres an interesting line on one of her monologues. ‘and she was perfect... no matter what joey says’. was she still considered imperfect by joey at first? did he disapprove of the first alice n wanted to repurpose her whole character, n when susie refused, probably standing up for alice, he threatened to replace her?

my boyfriend pointed this out, n i agree: i think a lot of the anger alice directs at bendy is actually supposed to be pointed at joey. i mean, joey was the one who manipulated her n made her feel special in one moment n imperfect n terrible in the next. n who was joeys little darling devil, who he hated seeing get at least one little insult? bendy himself. so this anger is specifically spiting joey n his egotistical creation

i think, what happened to make the rest of the employees fucked up is much more complicated. obviously, fusion with a toon grants immortality, but turns you into a mutant with a higher or lower grade of deformation depending on how ‘perfect’ the toon is. so im thinking, something happened to make everyone want to desperately fuse with any toon available, including half made borises, searchers, you name it. n im calling it now: it was the ink machine flooding up the whole damn place. i mean, seriously, dont you think its suspicious that in updated ch2 n ch3 you have to DRAIN the ink to get down the stairs cuz theres so much?? so.. yeah. YEAH.

final point, this just further brings my point of this ‘bendy’ going around being a result of a fucked up fusion of joey n bendy. bendy mightve been considered sufficiently perfect by joey once to fuse n make him immortal, but apparently it wasnt enough, n so the fusion still suffered a great deformation n loss of most conscious perception, only leaving intact what i believe to be vague thoughts, only fragments of what they once were, but not enough to form a fully functional thinking being, only rather a near animalistic thing moved by instinct.

alice also says that although toons cant die, they can be pulled back into the puddles, by getting touched by other toons who r highly corrupted or imperfect. from her words, ‘bendy’ is such a toon.

actually, the more i think about it, the more i think human/toon fusions r based off of liches. you see, in fantasy, liches r creatures that come from a wizard who concentrates all their magic in becoming immortal supernatural beings. however, they usually tend to lose themselves n become a destructive force, UNLESS they have somethign to hold on to. this could explain why some fusions maintained their consciousness (alice n sammy) while others didnt (norman n ‘bendy’).

#don't be scared. i am here with you. #yeah its a lot sorry dfkjgkldsjhfj

[unproduciblesmackdown]

yallnve realized by now that this is a fulltime 100% narnia blog...and as i havent slept since finding out someone somewhere was set on making "the silver chair" into a movie & the dynamic world of narnalysis is the best i can offer,

first of all im like.........ya rly gonna just jump into the silv chair!! im not really interested w the details on what anyone plans to do with the content b/c i donno, ive never been really interested in the book. not because its like bad or anything, actually it's probably the most cinematic in terms of things actually happening at a steady rate. i just like what i like, maybe because its sort of lower scale? whatever. its not like its hard to make into a movie i dont think, is what im saying. that would be either the horse and his boy or prince caspian, probably the latter b/c like a genuine 1/3 of it is an expository flashback. but all of the books are bit tricky to adapt coz theyre just short, you have to pad basically all of them in some way or another. but sure. silver chair. w/e

the thing is that you Have to assume despite starting afresh that theyre doing this one since the first three books have been recently filmed? and this being the fourth. but How Are You Going To Just Jump Into This One. thats an awful lot of exposition thats being built on, at this point in the game we're neck deep in the Lore. you'd really just have to have read the previous books or at least seen the movies. are they counting on the audience to have done that? but at the same time its really not fair to fully rely on that. in the book you can go "read the other books" and wave it off in a sentence of "and then they explained it all" which does tend to happen in the actual text a fair amt. its a bit awkward in movie form though? its a plot point right off that eustace knows who prince/king caspian is. so then you have to sum up dawn treader. and that has to do with what happened in prince caspian, in which the plot of lww is pretty important. like, alright, possibly you could just explain tvotdt & take it from the perspective of the girl who doesnt know crap about narnia yet? but thats not nearly as good a starting point as lww. on account of that ones meant to be a starting point! i'll see scholastic / any publishings that try to push magician's nephew as the first book In Hell, frankly. strongest narnpinion right there. the published order over the chronological order

anyways i'm sure it can be figured out, its just.......Interesting to think how the silver chair intro might be made into Intro To Narnia v.2.0? will they even try or will it be "ok but seriously just have read the books or whatever before you come in here." mystery unfolds

another thing thats interesting is that lww is clearly abt like, hey kids here's a version of the resurrection for you. whereas silver chair doesnt have anything to do w any Biblical Events at all (tho of course neither does prince caspian, tvotdt, or the horse & his boy). it is instead about how atheists will try to steal your firstborns for.................reasons. (no reason, theyre just evil.) this one is just a major amplified version of another particularly ridiculous CS Lewis Apologism Favorite that runs through the books: that when it comes to having no Faith (in aslan but you know also the abrahamic god) everyone who doubts aslan/god is like, actively lying to themselves, because they have that Gut Feeling telling themself that their faith is not only whats righteous but also whats true. the gut feeling of truth is a big theme in the books, shit hinges on it all the time and makes doubt all Clearly Sinful instead of a reasonable result of aslan effing off for centuries or whatever. and speaking of, god only knows if lewis is really suggesting that real life doubt or nonreligiousness is 100% populated by people who are clenching their fists like "i know in my heart jesus is real but i dont want to believe it so i won't, damnit!" which yknow makes no sense for like....life, and uh? i dont know what its supposed to mean for like....other religions? i dont think he's about putting the nuance that not every concept of religious Faith is the same as in christianity into this book, i dunno abt his thoughts irl. lord knows its a mystery how he thinks that "if jesus wasnt lying and jesus wasnt Insane then christianity is real" argument means anything. nothing in the world fits that argument for finding out if something is true or not........and also it hinges on that concept of "insanity" which......like.......i'm sure is all about nice 1940s ideas of how "insane" people act. its shit, throw it out, i mean. and besides? as though theres a Logic argument to prove christianity as truth? have you just Solved religion, lewis? have you? sometimes, i swear..

anyhow so in the silver chair its just a big ol festival of his "atheists are lying to themselves" and "atheism starts by someone who Knows The Truth (jesus is real) lying to others, likely aka the devil or whatever, and the stand-in for the devil is a witch again." and lewis really seems fond of the allegory of the cave. smh! like, in that allegory "knowing" that your faith is true is impossible! but youre also out here arguing its logically provable? and don't forget the gut feelings thing. but it makes NO sense for him to drop it into this book universe because in this allegory the prince captured by atheists & the protags are people who have hopped into the cave and seen the sun and shit!! they dont need to be the people who have only ever seen shadows who need to be convinced that an outside world can exist!!! bitch!!! get your allegory in order. silver chair just.....lord. the lying babysnatching atheists

a n y w a y s . . . thats a weird conflict to put in your third act, and its also a weird argument to make re christianity, that even though you acknowledge its impossible to know that your faith is in something thats real, you're willing to risk it? its sort of like that idea that you might as well be religious even if you dont "believe" any religion is true, because you lose nothing and potentially gain both comfort in life and reward in an afterlife. but its kind of a big deal in christianity that you're supposed to believe that what you believe in Is Literally Real. maybe apologists are allowed to do that sort of thing in their arguments, i suppose. its like in the last battle where he has a dude who believes in another deity accepted into the christian afterlife b/c despite a lack of belief, his virtuous nature is, from a practical standpoint, accepted to be for all intents and purposes to be equivalent to having believed in the christian god, like if he happened to follow all other rules except the Believing In Jesus one then he's good to go anyhow. interesting in that its also supposed to be pretty vital in christianity that one has to accept jesus as god in order to be Saved all up into heaven! i suppose that guy in the book was meant to have been converted right before death or whatever. at that point its very unclear who is exactly dead or not, but probably everyone. still, aslan clearly makes the argument that "basically you might as well have been believing in me, so you're good to go." fascinating stuff. another one to ask lewis abt

uhhhh another point is that i think theyre intending to make other movies also? but not all four remaining ones!! and if i had to guess which one they'd be leaving out uhh lets say....the horse & his boy....................which conveniently is the other sort of sparsely plotted one. two kids ride horses towards narnia, briefly have to have a shenanigansy undercover sneak through a crowded city, ride towards narnia some more, and then one of them stays at some guys house while the other kid goes into narnian battle where he himself doesnt actually do anything, but that fact is described pretty funnily. its still sort of a fun one, on account of the sneaking around hijinx, and the fact that it happens to give ANY of the details of what tf the pevensies did for like the twenty years they reigned over narnia's golden age which the lww just tells you absolutely n o t h i n g about! the answer is: a lot of battling probably, on account of narnia went from being ruled for a century by someone who could kill you in a second and also why would you have invaded narnia at that time, it wouldve been like trying to invade russia. but then a bunch of kids took the throne and upended the whole system and the snow went away, it seems like a destabilizey time to invade or whatever. imo. but then again they mightve bought themselves a few years on account of aslan having shown up and all. but lbr, they were just put into battle right off and coronated three seconds later, theres no reason on that front that they wouldnt shy away from having more battles. and the books said there were a lot of battles. and in thahb, its like, well we've been battling a lot lately and now we're in shenanigans and we'll just have to battle our way out of it, which they absolutely do. edmund straight up decapitates a guy. how ARE they supposed to just transition immediately into english schoolchildren after a couple decades of that mess??? they even have the fancy courtly speech. its magic i suppose

the point is its kind of a fun book, oh also, aslan is TOP shenanigans in this one. he straight up actually attacks one of the protagonists, for Reasons, but still. not that he doesn't murder the pevensies in the last book. i mean, i guess you could argue that its just like Divine Coincidence where what with the unaligned timelines betwixt england and narnia, aslan couldve just picked the moment everyone was gonna die anyway and just tossed them over to X point in time in narnia. but I Donno.....im kinda with that university student who's stressing about whether aslan cause ww2 for the purpose of sending the pevensies to the wardrobe. like, that train accident that killed everybody killed four people on the platform & five people on the train in different carriages and everything, or maybe the numbers are switched because i dont remember where lucy was. im saying, that was a hell of a crash. but sure. anyhow, even more fun, aslan appears as a cat to the Other protag while he's spending a night on the edge of the wilderness, and scratches him for saying he once threw rocks at a stray cat. like, hard #same, aslan!!! wtf dude why arent YOU being claimed by satan

whats also fun is that it doesn't really take place in narnia, which is also the reason besides pacing that you wouldnt really want to make this one into a film? because uhhhh the whole worldbuilding lewis crapt upon everyone for calormen is clearly racist as fuccck. if you arent already familiar with all the books (namely this one and i suppose the last battle) then its like.....i guess its some sort of vague notion of the ottoman empire? its really just a mashup of any number of white-english-variety racist notions. everyone is brown, is it an inaccurate stab at an amorphous amalgam of middle eastern culture? east asian? are people islamic or hindu? just try and guess what he was going for because its just. not based on anyone needing to know anything about reality. lewis was against seasoning food i guess, because it will mention i guess like, people cooking with onions like the heathens they are. (spoilers: this country just exists in the narniaverse to represent Those Heathens). its not necessarily an Evil place, they are noble savages ok!! with their formal seriousness and cutthroat customs.......b/c they are not as advanced and peaceful as the white northern christians, see. closer to the less developed violence of their inherently backwards ways and Cruel Society reigned by violence DONT CONVERT OR YOU'LL DIE, KIDS. but also.....you wont be white? the reason of calormens existence is really never explained. telmarines came from englandverse on accident thru a magic portal just lying around, possibly thats whats meant to have happened there too? its never attempted to be explained. anyways its basically the intro to the disney aladdin.

lewis is entirely inconsistent and self contradictory all throughout the series for the sake of the authors convenience. this is part of what makes the stories fun and the worldbuilding charming. it is also what allows him to pull stunts that have you pinching the bridge of your nose in exasperation and writing out essays to try to figure out how narnia is supposed to work. it is also what allows him, five books in, to be like, "here is the country to the south where the demon-worshipping gross scary brown uncivilized folk sit around hating narnia and confirming any racist notion you have about any nonwhite nonchristian country or culture." thanks, clive

its of course ludicrous and, of course, the protagonist shasta just so happens to be white despite being raised calormene. spoilers, he is narnian. or really from archenland, which isnt narnia but is still white and pro-narnia so its alright. i mean, technically narnia is allied with calormen at all points in time of the series? calormen just quietly tries an invasion in that book and also in the last book. so thats interesting. i suppose lewis is anti-crusades, which is big of him. the pevs arent out here trying to conquer calormen and convert them to narnianism. so that must not be the Destiny of the true christian? or are we meant to believe calormenes are beyond help? shasta who is of course secretly not "really" calormene is still representing someone undergoing "conversion," yet again, the guy is white. i suppose being brown is whats hopeless?

theres an inadvertently laughable line at the start of the book where a calormene expositorially points out that shasta is white by comparing him to the "accursed but beautiful" narnians. who are all white? is he just talking about the pevensies? the archenlanders (i cant remember where theyre meant to have come from either.) are like, all humanoid narnian natives white?? wtf, aslan. anyways, the dialogue is unnatural and funny enough, but its also like.....ok lewis, we got it, whiteness is the standard for all universes and everyone wishes they were white. stupid, sexy narnians.

what alllllmost suggests that being a poc isnt an automatic fastpass to hell is that im fairly sure the second protagonist aravis is a nonwhite calormene?? i dont remember it ever saying she was "fair" like the narnians the way the book immediately points out that shasta is. she is of course escaping an arranged marriage (the calormene plot to sort of vaguely try to invade narnia is also based on forcing susan to marry a dude she doesnt like yet who she apparently genuinely considered as a suitor when he wasnt acting like a jerk? so not only a dude who isnt white but a dude who isnt aslanian christian. its a whole complicating element to just toss out in this otherwise flat af worldbuilding, dude!! not to mention? despite the battles and shit, susan was out here considering marriage? how absolutely fucked up would it have been if any of them married and then effed off back to england. moving along) but she is from the start portrayed as equally sympathetically as shasta and nothing about her is pointed out as being Bad and Reprehensible, which the narration has no qualms about doing. she even gets to spend some time with her calormene friend, who is not exactly meant to be as sympathetic or noble but certainly isnt portrayed as at all evil. like...theres at least the occasional exception apparently, in which maybe not every person is inherently evil and violent and cruel. who knows

also aravis definitely later marries the white protag?? but apparently interracial marriage isnt entirely Unthinkable here. wait, also, aravis claims to be somehow a direct descendant of the calormene god tash? first of all, is that true, comma, possible? in the last book its confirmed that tash is real, albeit, like, a demon. dunno what c.s. is telling us with that one. is aravis related to a demon. we can only guess on account of the theme of Inconsistency

anyways. i suppose you could make it into a movie if you just threw out the racist shit. but the "calormen is also distinguished from narnia via its religion" element is also a touch janky. can it be thrown out too? if they intend to produce the last battle, will it be thrown out then. it kind of comes up again. if you get rid of those elements though, the stakes get a little blurrier and more political and more "wait well why would they have any beef with each other in the first place" if you cant just easily point out that the calormenes are shaking their fists at the narnians and their demon worship and their jealousy at not being white. again, are all centaurs white or something? wtf

truly calormene is the most racist ass shit in the whole series, but the concept comes up in less painfully direct ways other times, too. why are there native species in narnia that are considered inherently evil?? sure, the white witch as the stand-in for the devil wasn't originally from narnia. was she creating shit too? i dont remember what she was up to on account of i havent read the magicians nephew in a hot minute. i know they had to take a pegasus into a garden of eden type shit to smoke her out of wherever she was lurking for some reason or another. still. whys there whole types of creatures who are universally and unilaterally condemned? i know we're meant to believe that they just have evil intent according to their nature, but uh....theres no point at which any of these creatures are given a chance? maybe they served the white witch because she was nice to them for once. you're not given the chance to know. EXCEPT for the fact that you get shit like: giants are evil save for the occasional exception, like in lww when a "good" giant is described as having like, a long family line, and "traditions." not like Those Sorts. they do talk in like prince caspian and shit, when their numbers are miserable and theyre discussing tactics, whether to get help from the gross hags and harpies and etc and ppl will talk about Those People and Sorts and Rabble and its like...jfc. b/c apparently sommme of them can be decent! if theyre a giant or whatever. and meanwhile the dwarfs are always chaotic neutral or whatever. not believing in aslan but not necessarily being anti-narnia coz they live there. but sometimes being good guys!! but sometimes being bad guys, and jadis was cool to them apparently. like.................theres definitely cases of Types of narnians who fall outside the "born good / born bad" system, and thats pretty fucked. wolves too? theyre the Talking Beasts aslan definitely created, but on the side of the white witch? how was she having trees be on her side, too? whats going on around here. whats the moral meant to be. smh

uhh well anyhow, you could do a nice essay on gender re narnia. on account of sometimes its staleass typical sexist tropes like uhh, say,, the devil stand-ins keep being women? witches, ok. and the idea of "women need to be protected as pure creatures" as a basic sexist notion, and even lewis taking a relatively subdued jab at the idea of calling that sexist. susan being the miniature mom character type, and of course the infamous last battle bit where, in an attempt to describe her lack of spirituality as a self-insert of what lewis considered his own period of fake maturity via rejection of christianity, she's of course not only described as not believing in narnia (which????? what is anyone supposed to make of that. again, in the allegory of the cave shit, she's been outside the cave!!! she lived in narnia for YEARS AND YEARS and then WENT BACK. how are we supposed to believe she just convinced herself it wasnt literally real? its not quite the same as someone losing their faith in christianity.) but as like, wearing makeup, damn her. even if he wasnt trying to make the point that "look at boys and go to hell" which, i suppose he couldnt, as in narnia susan was being courted just fine as queen, yet i suppose also she didnt marry anyone—anyways, of course its still sexist to slight the way she decides to dress as some form of false maturity, even if its meant to be metaphor. just clumsy af & not great when again, devils are always witches around here. and being younger is to be more spiritually pure which like............mmm ok. this is sort of another one of those weirdly sexless fantasy universes, why do those keep happening. i mean sure this is a christian fairy tale for kids. but nobody even gets married save for in the last paragraphs of a couple books. its left a bit ambiguous whether thats even spiritually acceptable in the narnia rules, unless its to Continue the Line a la the telmarine monarchy from caspian the first to tirian the whateverth. hm

but also of course you get the young girl characters being...somewhat almost allowed to fight (archery mainly) but anyways at least being given equal status to the boys who are there also. theres even mention of once apparently narnia being ruled by a queen w no kings around. fantastic. and theres some non-witch lady characters on occasion. the human characters are where the dynamics are most at, i suppose, but anyways this at least has some nuance & at times seems to go just a bit beyond what you might expect from some old dude in the 50s. still not that surprising or innovative, but not completely flat, and seeming to contain at least a little reflection upon the topic

the essay of race re: narnia would be really short though. Its Racist Af. if you threw classism in too, you might get a bit more length out of it. but really its just so flat in this subject, and totally needless. there's the fact that even narnia is ruled by white english people but.....you can really do without juxtaposing this with the heinous nonwhite country somewhere over there. the rest of the books operate just fine w/o this

tolkien mentioned HIS scary brown backwards civilization to the south a lot more fleetingly in lotr but its....v much the same worldbuilding as narnia??? aka middle earth is pretty much an imaginary proto-england where you dont want to go too far east or south or you run into dangerous &/or inherently evil territory!! ok, jrr.....who was the other people in the inklings?? what did they write. could no one rein these guys in. coz lewis is over here with his Alternate Universe england. with uhhhh wilderness to the north and west and the dangerous evilish racismland to the south. and the ocean and dont forget narnia is a flat earth to the east. also? why are the lone islands like that. can aslan take care of some of that shit. for gods sake. anyways. the all-white good guys / evil poc should be thrown out of everything, thats not what makes the worldbuilding in either lotr or chronarnia at all interesting. yet is it is surely a subsection of the inherent Englishness of both examples........it warrants analysis but not "carrying on into films or anything based on either's precedence in the fantasy genre."

god who knows what im talking about at this point. im just saying "if they arent looking to even bother trying to wrangle the horse and his boy into something not ludicrously racist then i wouldnt be at all surprised." still, do you suppose theres like a curse where unless all narnia books are given some sort of film adaptation, the world won't know peace? more likely the world would end, maybe. the curse of clive. i dont really remember but that elder bbc series sure didnt cover the whole saga

well this is long enough but lets all set off in more endless, doomed narnalysis, such as

my thesis on trying to figure out what. the Fuck any reader is supposed to make out of edmund's role in the lww

whats the deal with merpeople?!

where are all these witches coming from, anyways

seriously if the narnians were just less murderous to the Undesirable species would they have been on the pro-aslan side all along

if there was only two humans staying in narnia at its birth, wouldnt their line like, die out immediately with their kid.

where did the archenlanders come from

where did the calormenes come from

oh yeah and like. are we seriously meant to believe that, at the end of the world, when aslan reveals that being goodnatured supercedes having the Wrong Religion, there is only one calormene in all of a) current existence and b) history who fits the bill? really. why even bring it up, then.

how did narnians react to their four monarchs completely disappearing......for real.....and what happened to the line to the throne?? was there just no ruler until the telmarines came in and took things over for the rest of the few centuries or whatevs.

when was that deep magic in lww written? at the start of narnia? coz thats the magicians nephew. again, how tf did the white witch get any leverage in that one. how was that supposed to be a good idea. wtf. see my thesis

whats the white witch supposed to represent as a stand-in for the devil? not helping that i dont remember the details of magicians nephew for shit, but she's definitely in the Multiverse lore of narnia as being from a different world as narnia and england. wtf is like...her nature

how weird is it in narnia that you have a god who drops in confused alien children to both go on personal journeys and save the world? is narnia-aslan/earth-jesus also dropping other children from other worlds into other other worlds? via other forms? hmm

lewis is all but inviting us the readers to be filling in the blanks with narnia fic. he's basically like, outright actually inviting fic with people wanting to speculate what happens with susan, who must inevitably return to narnia as lewis intends her to represent his own departure from (and obvious inevitable return to) christianity

a weird detail that is also never elaborated on: in addition to the narrator freely inserting loads of opinions into the narration, there's a time or two its made clear that like, the narrator has gotten this info from interviewing the characters. how'd you know about that last battle, "they all died and this happened in the afterlife" shit, huh. just another weird element

sussing out other lewispinions, like how he hates all schools apparently

narnia vs middle earth!! both quasi englands, both pre industrialization, both with christ figures running around some more than others, both with the need for rightful kings, totally different roles for humans tho. well, thats the whole comparison

and, inevitably, more.

#just narnblogging #or narbling #stay tuned for......murder