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#even if someone makes a bad decision

jtl-fics · 9 months

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Fluent Freshman - 38

If it weren’t for the fact that he and Riko had stumbled across a truly traumatizing video of his birth that they had watched secretly in Tetsuji’s office when he was away on a business trip one weekend Kevin would believe that he was born with an Exy racquet in his hand. But the image that is seared into his retinas to this day has proven that he came into this world empty handed.

That doesn’t change the fact that Kevin has spent the majority of his life utterly and completely submersed in Exy. He was trained as a Raven, he was court, he was a champion as both a Raven as a Fox and if he had his way he’d leave college with more Championships under the orange and white than the black and red.

Exy was everything in the world to him.

He could overlook many personality defects if someone brought something to the Court.

Apathetic five foot nothing who was more likely to stab him than shake his hand? Well, he’s the best goalie that Kevin had ever seen in his entire life (and that was saying something).

Tight ass who has anger management issues and will not shut the fuck up about his girlfriend now that he’s not even allowed to have? Well, he is a very solid backliner who has excellent ball handling skills (even if Aaron keeps telling him to stop saying it like that or why he keeps yelling that he’s straight).

Overly touchy, too emotional, will not shut the fuck up about his fiancé in Germany? Well, he is a very solid backliner who is great at rebounds (Kevin doesn’t get why Nicky gets mad when he says that or why he brings up Erik).

Guy who actively dislikes him and is dying for any chance to punch him and also being overly attached to his friends? He’s a great enforcer on the court and had the stamina to play far longer than the other two backliners (Why Dan always said “yeah he does” whenever Kevin commented on Matt’s stamina he will never understand, and he also doesn’t want to.)

Suspicious kid from Millport with a mouth that could strip paint and a past so shrouded in mystery that it even had Andrew perking up in interest? Well, he’s the fastest Striker in the game and the only person that has ever kept up with Kevin’s obsession with the sport. (There was the minor downside that he was the son of the Butcher and almost died before the championships, but Neil pulled through.)

He tolerated all of them and now they’re his best friends.

There are some who he does find personally objectionable but so long as Jack and Sheena manage to continue to be good on the court he doesn’t care about the many many faults in their personalities. They’re his teammates, they aren’t his friends.

He accepted that he might not like any of the others that came onto the team. For the most part he had never given a shit about before the Foxes, content with his brotherhood with Riko even if it wasn’t…perfect. Then he became friends with FF and FF had done him a truly large favor and Kevin wanted to pay that back the best way he knew how. Through his truly infallible health advice and through perfectly crafted smoothies.

Then Daniel appeared with the truth that FF truly met all requirements to be a Fox and Kevin tasted his own smoothie for the first time.

He considered both revelations to be equally upsetting.

Still…

FF was one of the best dealers Kevin had ever had the pleasure to be on Court with. The man knew his position well and interrupted offensives with an enviable ease that made Kevin wish to possibly strap some sort of device onto him and figure out how he did certain things.

It wasn’t that far off to believe that a man raised in the same environment as FF could possibly have similar talents and since Lisa fucked off back to some small town cult they really did need a good sub. Sheena was a good offensive dealer but they had games coming up where defense would be imperative and FF did not have the stamina for a full game and likely would not for quite some time considering he’d be recovering from being stabbed.

So, he’d defended Daniel’s right to try out.

At first, he had felt vindicated. Daniel kept up quite well during the initial warm-ups. Kept pace with Jack, Sheena, Aaron, Andrew, and Nicky. Kevin had been bringing up the rear mostly to make sure that Andrew didn’t stab the guy during warm-ups.

Then it was time for the first precision drill.

The other thing about how Kevin was raised is that he was raised surrounded only by the best of the best. The Ravens were at the top of the Collegiate hierarchy. The National Court used their stadium for practice.

The worst Exy that Kevin had ever seen in his entire life up until the moment that Daniel took hold of an Exy racquet was still only the worst team in Collegiate Division 1 Exy.

Then Kevin watched the ball go so wide that the entire court went silent.

All of the drills that followed were as bad, if not worse.

Kevin felt himself start to vibrate with anger the longer it went on. He started to shout corrections at Daniel but the younger man merely rolled his eyes, “I think I know what I’m doing.” He would say before pointedly proving that he did not.

Kevin only realized nearly an hour in that he had wasted his entire practice shouting himself hoarse at the actual waste of human life that was Daniel Stanton.

Kevin could accept being bad at Exy and having an inoffensive personality. Kevin could accept being good at Exy and having a bad personality.

Kevin could not accept being bad at Exy and having a bad personality.

Coach Wymack called the practice to an end and Kevin thought that he’d manage to keep his anger mostly inside (he is ignoring the near hour of practice he spent screaming directions) when Daniel decided to deliver the Coup de Grace.

Sweat soaking his bangs, panting, and without a single thing done correctly (even the way he was currently holding his borrowed Exy racquet set Kevin’s teeth on edge) the man had the gall, the gumption, and the absolute AUDACITY to come up to the coach.

“So, where do I sign?” he asks.

Kevin sees red and unleashes hell.

***

This was the most fun Andrew has had at a practice since he started having to come to them.

The look of embarrassment on Daniel’s face as Kevin accurately tore into everything he did wrong on the Court and every personal failing that Kevin could home in on. His attention shifted away to FF sitting in the stands near the University official who was shaking her head at the obvious poor showing. The University may have wanted Daniel around to spruce up the Fox’s marketability but even they couldn’t let someone so obviously awful onto one of their few Division 1 teams.

FF was sat sipping one of Kevin’s god awful smoothies looking completely unshocked by Daniel’s showing.

Kevin turned his attention to FF, “You said he was good!” Kevin points at the freshman as he continues to sip the drink.

Andrew interrupts, “He never said he was good.” He remembers the conversation so exactly and there are few things he loves more than having the opportunity to rub it in Kevin’s face when the man is wrong, “He said ‘Daniel has always been athletic’ never anything about him being good.” Andrew reminds.

Kevin whips back around to Daniel, “Have you ever even played Exy?” Kevin demands.

“I didn’t think it’d be hard to pick up.” Daniel argues crossing his arms defensively.

It sets Kevin off on another furious rant.

Andrew had thought that FF didn’t have a mean bone in his body and he’s quite pleased to have been proven wrong. The thought that FF had let Daniel get all the way into embarrassing himself in such a way?

Andrew had to give him props.

“How does it feel getting to watch this idiot crash and burn?” he asks coming to the glass.

“Really thought he could manage it if I could.” FF says with a shrug that has Aaron bark out a laugh.

“You really figured?” Aaron asks coming to stand next to Andrew.

FF just shrugs again, “I mean I also started not knowing how to play and now I’m on a pretty good team.” He says as if FF starting as a child not knowing how to play is the same as someone walking in demanding a spot on a college team.

Nicky lets out a laugh.

“Oh, Smithy I could kiss you.” Nicky laughs and makes his way towards the Court entrance to likely do exactly that moving past a Daniel who was so red in the face with embarrassment and anger that he looked as if he was about to turn purple.

Andrew tuned in.

“…small pond. The only reason you ever felt like you were worth anything is that Smiths was too nice to put you in your place before now!” Kevin was probably talking about medium-sized fish in a small pond but Andrew didn’t really care to know.

“Are you going to let him talk to me like this?!” Daniel finally turned to Wymack.

“Kevin, you shouldn’t talk to the public like that.” Wymack says without a hint of chastisement in his voice.

Kevin still straightened at the reminder, “You’re right. Sorry coach.” Kevin sneered at Daniel, “Get off the court before you taint it.” He hisses.

“You’re really not going to sign me?!” Daniel demands.

“Why would I?” Wymack asks with a raised brow.

“You took a chance on John!” Daniel points towards FF.

Andrew watches as Wymack’s face does something he’d rarely seen it do, it goes utterly and completely cold. “I don’t take chances with my kids.” He spat, “I give my kids a second chance. Get the hell off of my court.” He hisses.

Daniel’s face purples further before he stomped off of the Court.

“Don’t you dare walk off with that racquet! It’s worth more than you!” Kevin shouts after him and Andrew in that moment realizes that Daniel is going to do something stupid.

And FF is on the other side of the Plexiglass with only Nicky at his side.

It’s like watching a train crash.

Daniel might say something, but Andrew doesn’t know. He sees Neil rushing as well, his sense of danger always well-honed but Neil had been in Captain mode in the moments before walking some of the sophomore and freshmen through what they had done wrong.

Neither of them will make it in time.

Daniel throws his racquet, and he throws it right at FF barely 5 feet away in the stands.

The Racquet blows past FF’s head and Andrew lets out a breath.

Then before it could crash into the seats behind him and break FF’s hand wrapped around the shaft of the stick and stopped it’s trajectory.

“Your aim really isn’t getting any better by not listening to Kevin’s advice.” Smith says as he twirls the racquet in his hand so that the net was on the ground. “Also, don’t break the equipment, like Kevin said it’s pretty expensive.” He says.

Daniel let out a primal scream but where Andrew had stalled out to watch the miraculous catch Matt Boyd had not. Daniel was tackled to the ground by the backliner, “Absolutely not.” Matt said with a scowl.

“Smithy are you okay?” Andrew hears Nicky ask.

“Yeah, why?” FF asks as if he hadn’t just been attacked but considering everything that Andrew had seen it wouldn’t shock him if Daniel’s attacks were just par for the course back home for FF. “The racquet looks okay too.” He adds.

“Coach Wymack,” The University representative made their way down looking flustered at the outburst of violence.

Obviously not someone who regularly watched Exy or paid attention to their team.

“This is why I wanted absolute control over who does and who doesn’t get a shot here.” Wymack hisses pointing at Daniel as he struggled under Matt.

“You have our sincere apologies for this.” She says looking at Daniel, “He didn’t… we thought he’d be good for the team’s culture but it seems like we may have misjudged-“

“That guy just tried to take Smithy out!” Nicky interrupts.

“I told you he was dangerous.” Neil adds.

“Can someone call campus security?” Matt asks from the ground, “This jackass keeps aiming for kidney punches and I would like to not be pissing blood during winter break.” Matt requests.

“O-of course!” the University representative says fumbling for her cell phone.

Andrew looked at Matt and figured that the backliner had a handle on that particular mess at the moment.

He made his way over to FF and Nicky who was checking over the freshman.

“Nice catch.” He says.

FF shrugs, “It’s my racquet he was borrowing.” He says, “I didn’t want to get a new one.” He adds.

***

FF watches as campus security took custody of Daniel as he continued to spit and scream. There are talks about pressing charges, but FF just wants Daniel off of the campus and away from him. It’s Jack of all people who says that getting a restraining order is a great way to make sure Daniel stays the hell away from him and FF nods consideringly.

Honestly, he’s still mostly in shock he managed to catch his racquet the way he had. His reflexes weren’t quite up to snuff since he’d been trying to catch the netting, but his hand only closed around the shaft.

Embarrassing.

He really hopes no one teases him about his slower reflexes.

“He needs to be charged for assault at least.” Kevin hisses as they watch the security officers take Daniel away.

“It’d be attempted assault.” Aaron corrects.

“He assaulted my eyes with his Exy.” Kevin insists.

“If that counted as assault, don’t you think I would have pressed charges for all the times I have had to see you dance at Eden’s?” Neil asks. “Also, you’re the one that insisted he try-out.” He reminds.

“Smiths told me he was good!” Kevin screeches.

“No, we’ve been over this Day. Smithy said he was athletic.” Nicky reminds. “Are you going to do what Jack suggested?” he asks turning to FF.

“I’d like to see significantly less of Daniel.” FF admits.

“You know he did actually commit assault, if I pee blood I’m making Kevin go buy me pads.” Matt says.

“Whatever.” Kevin says as they continued to make their way back to the dorm to get ready for the day.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

#Fluent Freshman AU #Up next is the Winter banquet and Winter break #looking forward to that as well #I'd like to thank Snow for their help with some decisions made in this chap #and declunkifying some of my phrasing #I would also like to thank the new Jujutsu Kaisen OP for being a banger #also Unfathomed Force from Trails to Azure OST for continuing to be a banger #Grandma Smith is heading home in the next part which makes me sad even if she hasn't featured a lot in the drafts since the hospital #Daniel absolutely ends up punching a security guard #And ending up in like a holding cell at a real police station #He has one call #And he calls Smith's number demanding he come and help him get out #too bad the only number he has is a phone sitting in Wymack's desk #Guess someone else is gonna have to come and pay bail and help Daniel outta there #also my apologies for putting Daniel on u Elle Woods but it's for the meme #Also also I would like to give a shoutout to Matt Boyd who made the 'save of the day'#Its an award usually for goalies but u da real MVP today #AFTG #AFTG OC #AFTG AU #FF - 38

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spacedlexi · 3 months

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i just think a "friended/romanced + saved + trust aj" violet does such a good job rounding out the plot and characters of S4 and i dont say that lightly

she walls people off out of fear just like S3 clem did and learned to grow out of through the compassion of others. feeling like she could have done more to save minnie being what initially makes her step up to lead, but her accepting her love for clem (and clem choosing to save her) is what leads to her Truly accepting the school and everyone inside it as her Home and gives her something to fight for ("i tried my damnedest not to care about either of you. and i still couldnt tell you why." "i know where youre coming from. after losing so many people, sometimes its easier to keep everyone at arms length." "and then you wonder why you fight so hard to stay alive. i dont wonder anymore."). this being the reasoning behind violets detachment from the school, as well as a negative home life impacting her idea of what a home even was. but together they turn ericson from a prison into the home theyve BOTH been looking for, renaming it together, and envisioning it for the future together. the two of them understand each other deeply, from what theyve lost to how its affected them and the poor ways theyve decided to react to it. but through their support of the other, they BOTH get to evolve into more relaxed and confident versions of themselves, who know Exactly what theyre fighting for

her troubled relationship with brody and getting to learn more about what happened with the twins/violets reaction to it and how she ultimately blames herself/brodys guilt about her part in it and how she misses violet. getting the chance to mend that relationship before its too late. the 3 of them becoming closer because of it. and getting to develop clems friendship with brody leads to a more impactful moment later in the basement

her relationship with tenn reflecting clems relationship with aj, in the way they both made the decision to look after their respective boys after their primary guardians died (ajs parents, tenns sisters). both of them can understand the responsibilities they have taken upon themselves, and how hard it can be to do right. the 4 of them become a tight knit group quickly. especially in EP2 as vi supports clem while tenn supports aj through the marlon fiasco

her confused relationship with minerva introducing interesting conflict both within her relationship with clem (who has her own personal conflict with minerva, which vi still ties into through her relationship with both minnie and tenn) and the over arching plot, which has themes of learning when to let someone go because they are no longer who they once were (clem and lilly "we were family once", mitch about ms martin "you get all caught up in who people used to be, and you cant deal with whats in front of you", violet about minnie "the real minnie? shes been gone this whole time and i have to stop mourning her")

having a saved violet on the boat expanding the conversation with minerva about her motivations with the delta. violet apologizing for never looking for her, minnie saying she knows she would have but that its too late now, so sure this is just the way things have to be. getting to hear minnie say "you can be rewarded, just like i am", giving us insight into her character. and clem getting the last word before she rams the door down, her and violet fighting minnie Together. and violet saves clems life, making the Choice to shoot minerva, which in and of itself is a huge moment for violets character in regards to her relationship with both minnie And clem

and aj shooting tenn on the bridge brings things full circle, by putting violet in the same position louis was in EP2, where aj has killed the most important person to her, in an effort to save her life, and now she must reckon with those feelings the same way louis had to about marlon. not so easy now is it violet? ("so youre mad, but sad" "can i be that for a while?" "yeah, its ok")

just... ough... violets whole character just fits into Everything so well, but in a way that elevates the characters and plots around her, while also developing her into her own

#plus tenn dying with minnie feels like looking at a clem and aj Bad End and that feels intentional #and vi being there fighting minnie for tenns life....the boy she took it upon herself to look out for.. and losing him 😭#ALSO i feel like the whole point of S4 is raising aj into someone clem trusts. like did you do a good job raising him or not??#like through the decisions i made i Did naturally trust him in that cave. but after seeing other routes i can def see why some didnt #but even if clem doesnt trust him in that cave he still proves later in the barn that he knows when to make his own call #its more about what clem has to lose/how long it takes for her to trust aj. he knows what hes doing now. clem says as much #none of this is me saying picking louis' route is BAD. im just pointing out the ways violets works on so many levels for me #esp since the season is already so short. all of this really helps to flesh out the plot and side characters in those 4 eps #but anyway this is why i cant stand violet slander especially when people say she was underdeveloped compared to other characters #i just think youre not paying attention to her #but what else is new for female characters #twdg #it speaks

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moregraceful · 3 months

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folks tonight we discovered what hitting my breaking point looks like and it is: impulse three day vacation in palm desert for ahl hockey in february by myself. does anyone have any recommendations for stuff to do in coachella valley?? like restaurants or hikes or museums or anything. i don't drink and i love museums and i will have a car and my only two commitments are evening hockey games. i should probably buy my lesbian parents alcohol, snacks, and/or spices for looking after my dog and i would like to buy local. also love a local ice cream shop or creamery. literally any recs you have would be great!! no recommendation too great or too small!!

(also podcast recs that aren't true crime or horror since i have two 7+ hour drives and if i listen to my sports podcasts the entire time i will become a worse version of myself than we started with, which is already bad lmfao)

#i'm so excited i have not been on vacation since 2021 and i have never been on vacation by myself ever #we will not discuss the circumstances that led to me making this decision in 15 mins and having a room booked and the tickets bought #within an hour and a half tonight but. know that it has been very very very bad for at least a month. lol. lmao #also i am so sorry to firebirds fans where the fresh hell does your team get off charging you $30+ dollars for ahl hockey #obviously i went apeshit and bought $80 tickets close to the bench for observation purposes but like. $30 for ahl hockey??#not even sitting close to the glass??? that's insane. i hope i get to see someone beat brisson's ass for no reason #OH FIREBIRDS FANS ALSO. WHICH LITTLE GUY SHOULD I ROOT FOR #big fan of going to minor leagues games choosing a guy at random and throwing all my emotional energy in to his game narrative #but i feel like i have. at least two firebirds fans following me maybe one of you can choose a guy for me #fresno oilers.txt #IS THE BOTANICAL GARDEN FUN

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thejasontoddarchives · 10 months

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DC is just so silly! This:

Batman #423 (1988)

Came exactly one issue before this:

Batman #424 (1988)

But we get this little reminder at the end of 423, of what the core of Batman really is and what we should ultimately keep in mind:

Meanwhile the latter was left to be framed in this light:

Batman #425 (1988)

Ah yes. The established empath calling a SA victim foolish.

If we take what Jason says at face value then what he did to Garzonas the rapist isn’t much different from what Batman did to that addict/thief (and what he does to countless other opponents he doesn’t deem deserving of salvation). The difference is Jason didn’t have a police officer pat him on the back and vouch for the goodness of his character for wanting to protect women and children.

#tw suicide #tw addiction #as if compassion and empathy aren’t at the heart of Jason’s rage #I know this storyline was part of the larger plan to make Jason out to be irrational and irresponsible before his death #but it really doesn’t read that way #even if Jason pushed Garzonas I can’t say what Bruce does is morally superior #making someone wish for death/torturing them until they feel hopeless and broken is equally fucked up.#Jason doesn’t sugarcoat and present himself as a good person/hero (neither does the narrative).#but fans perceive him as such based on the decisions he makes.#re: the streets run red panels. he explicitly calls himself a ‘bad person’ for doing the things he does.#does he care about child victims and their wellbeing? absolutely. does he think that absolves him of his self-proclaimed wrongdoings? no.#personally? yeah I think Jason's good at heart. in fact him keeping himself in check automatically elevates his character #but the point is *he* doesn’t go around parading as a ‘hero’ after committing acts of terrorism lol #jason todd

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screambirdscreaming · 28 days

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At the bus stop one time there was a gaggle of preschoolers waiting to catch the bus for a field trip day, and someone walked past with a couple of friendly little dogs, to great general delight.

But after a little bit, the dogs were getting overwhelmed, and the preschoolers were gently coaxed to back off so the person with the dogs could continue on. Specifically, one of the preschool teachers said, "Sometimes, when you're small, being surrounded by big people can be a bit scary and overwhelming. Even if they are friendly."

This was recieved as great wisdom: after all, the preschoolers were also small, and understood how scary and overwhelming big people could be! And the dogs were indeed even smaller than the preschoolers, so it made sense.

What was funny and charming was that, upon absorbing and reflecting on this wisdom, they all felt the need to tell it to one another. In tones of great insight, they turned to one another and said, "Did you know? Sometimes when you are small, being surrounded by big people can be scary and overwhelming! Even if they are friendly!" Back and forth, without any particular concern that they were all saying the same thing. Have reached comprehension of an insight, it must be shared!

I must say that this behavior is less charming in tumblr users than in preschoolers. Not least because tumblr users, having gained a little analytical skill to misuse, insist on Summarizing and Generalizing and Unifying the insights they repeat, quickly turning any interesting new information into formulaic dogmatic mush.

#i made the mistake of looking in the notes of the beach sand post i reblogged to see if anyone else had interesting comments #And the rate at which it went from like #1) person states with moderate confidence an opinion based on their personal observations #2) multiple people reply with “wow thats so insightful!” (aka it aligns with my preconceived notions of how things work)#3) someone else adds additional personal observations which are not really relevant but which can be absorbed into the narrative #4) people start outright stating the underlying belief on which this bias is constructed as if it were a fresh insight #5) general derisive attitude towards people who haven't seen the Obviously Correct solution to this complex real world problem yet #It's very.......#It's not like it's a high stakes post but it's such a microcosm of the whole dogmatic phenomenon #Also this js a more specific gripe to My Field or w/e #But the degree to which people react to the problems caused by the whole “Control of Nature” era of engineering #with this equally reductive “Nature will Fix Everything” type of attitude #Is sooooo frustrating.#Yes a great many of our current problems could have been avoided if we had not made massive changes to ecosystem processes on the assumptio #That they were simple and we understood them. And that they would respond in predictable ways.#the simplicity in retrospect of “wow we Should Not have done that” does not mean that they are simple to undo!#You can't go back in time. You can't turn back the clock on chaotic processes #Which is. Almost every process ever.#Restoration is hard! Returning to previous regimes of sediment or flooding or fire is tricky and full of foibles!#Moving towards a future which doesn't suck as much even if the past cant be recreated is also uncertain and difficult!#It's frustrating to see people act all high and mighty about how they Respect Nature unlike whoever is making all these decisions #When their understanding of the natural processes in question is AS simplistic as the people who caused the whole mess back in 1910 or w/e #Like I'm not saying there's not bad interests standing in the way of functional restoration on all levels #That's very much a fight to be fought.#But looking at that fight-in-process and saying “wow none of you Respect Nature like me uwu let nature fix it”#Is.#Ugh.

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jinxofthedesert · 2 months

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I recently got out of a toxic and unhealthy friendship on here. I had to be the one to end it; hopefully the other party decides to leave it be and not smear my name due to realizing it wasn't healthy and that I had to end it because of it.

Basically, if someone makes you start feeling like shit, from your life, to your goals, passion, and everything else, then it's not a rewarding friendship. And it's hard to sometimes see it in the moment. Because you want to think the best of peeps, especially ones you care about.

But sometimes the healthiest thing for You is to know when to put your foot down and end it, even if it hurts you and them. At the end of the day, you matter and what you're doing matters and no one has the right to make you feel shit for who you are when you're just living your life. Life is hard enough without adding peeps who make you feel that way or question how you live when, prior to them showing up, you were happy with all of it.

To anyone in a relationship or friendship like that, I hope, like me, you are able to take a stand and realize you deserve better.

I knew I was being manipulated but not how much until I talked to others close to me. I pray you all never have to experience such a thing because damn, you know you did the right thing, but feel so fucking guilty at the same time.

But your happiness matters. You matter. Please remember that.

#personal #me #had to make a post. it's been eating at me since I ended it #you feel so fucking guilty but know it was the right decision.#i feel happier and lighter #its weird cause I've met my closet friends on here who are so incredible and supportive and respectful and I am in return #so to have one spiral into....that....was hard. and hard to realize despite my stomach aching day after day trying to tell me that #this was a shit situation and I deserved better #if someone makes you feel like shit and makes you believe you deserve to feel that way: leave #just leave #block them #life is to damn short to share it with people who will only make it worse and and make you feel bad as a person #i have more self respect than that #and sometimes it's hard to tell cause I want peeps to get along and have a good time when I care for them #i like making peeps happy. it brings me joy. and I tend to do it naturally without thinking.#so it's hard to sometimes see when it's not healthy #i pray for anyone in a relationship/friendship like this #know you are worth it and no one has the right to make you feel like that.#when someone doesn't respect that you have a life and can't be there 24/7 and take it Personally when you can't....like no #I've had so many friendships on here that respect your time and realize messaging comes second maybe even third or fourth #and it sucks when the opposite happens and it just gets worse and worse.#And them using 'i used to be a therapist so I know you better then yourself' should never be an excuse for them putting you down EVER.

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mishkakagehishka · 6 months

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Different anon, lolthia uses @/edenstarrie now and was online at 4pm yesterday. Some account claiming to be a mutual of theirs from another platform (@/burneraccount6000) made a bunch of posts claiming that Lolthia said that they had a medical condition that could kill them if they got too stressed and that being isolated and alone is causing them tobstress and become extremely depressed. Them being dead is just an assumption since they haven't been online. Ngl, I think everyone is being too hard on the. From what I've been seeing since they moved to edenstarrie they've just been posting regular Eden content and just want to get noticed. I think they deserve a second chance despite everything but maybe I'm just too forgiving?

Tbh i think everyone should make their own decisions re: who deserves a second chance and who doesn't, i will admit i feel bad for them often, but the problem is that they self-sabotage way too much by spreading negativity in the main tags which naturally turns people off. I've no idea what their twt presence is like, i didn't even know they had one, but if they were really just normal there, i hope they did make a friend or two.

But, you know, it's mostly all this anon harassment that somehow always ends up tying back to them that makes me not wanna give them another chance. As i said, since i blocked them, i haven't seen any gatekeeper drama either. And now that i don't block one of their blogs - look what happens. Again, not saying anything. But at least it's an omen that friendship between me and them is not meant to be.

#make your own decisions is the way to go #they're not for me but i'm sure someone would be their friend and be a good friend #bc there's someone out there for everyone #but you can't close yourself off and only post negativity and ''nobody cares about me''#(even when you DO have people telling you they care about you - bc that makes THEM feel bad)#and still expect people to approach you. to stick around - maybe. but that's not how you start friendships #asks #rbs off bc you gave their @s just like that💀💀

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astriiformes · 2 years

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One thing I feel strongly about in the section of Dracula we're hitting is that while it's definitely the part that suffers the most from very 1890s gender politics, if you want to (and I do, because I like all the main cast of Dracula and some of the questions a more charitable reading of them raises), it's very very easy to go full death of the author and ascribe at least somewhat more sympathetic motivations to the guys for trying to keep Mina away from the vampire hunting.

Like -- in Jonathan's case, he loves his wife very much and it's not hard to imagine him wanting to keep her as far as possible from the monster that deeply traumatized him (the effects of which he may not be as recovered from as he's letting on). Some of his diary entries get quite close to stating that explicitly, in my opinion. And in Van Helsing and the suitors' cases (especially the suitors'), they were all recently traumatized by Lucy's death and are likely similarly upset by the idea of putting her best friend in harm's way.

Is it still the wrong decision? Absolutely, and the way the narrative plays out from here acknowledges that too, because the breakdown in communication absolutely comes back to bite them (pun very much intended). But considering they still include Mina in their oath and still highly praise her contributions up until this point, I've always gotten the impression that the group still highly values her as a person, even still, and that paints a picture of a traumatized group of people (and SO much of Dracula is about trauma) making a poor choice out of a misguided sense of it protecting someone they care about -- which I personally think is a much more interesting topic to explore in the context of the story (the ways trauma can cause good people to make bad decisions under pressure, and even push away loved ones out of a misguided sense of it being "better" for them) than just "Yeah, here's where the guys get extremely 19th century"

#i could write a LOT about jonathan & mina in this part in particular #like yeah they're both keeping secrets from each other -- for the first time in the novel! and they both clearly hate it!!#but in general as someone who has not infrequently made poor communication decisions due to trauma #i am much more interested in that type of read of this section #the main cast are all presented as good people who care about each other -- and friendship as a force that saves the day #and i don't think the exclusion of mina has to run contrary to that #i think it's a great look at how good friends can make bad choices under pressure when they're afraid for someone #or even projecting their own trauma onto someone else #and THAT is a topic would love to see explored for many reasons #dracula blogging

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