#every now and then i see someone's blog that makes me wonder why you're following me

[tetedurfarm]

periodic reminder that while i'm probably not gonna be very political on this blog, i am still a masc-leaning agender bisexual leftist and if that's gonna be a problem you may want to fuck off ✌

also i'd really rather you not involve my photos in your fetish content. just ...just don't.

#every now and then i see someone's blog that makes me wonder why you're following me #if you think i'm your tradwife dream or your brother in arms you are VERY mistaken!! #it's queer as fuck on this farm #and it's been a while since someone's been weird about my rabbit photos but it's happened enough times that i felt like putting it out ther #*there again

[corrodedbisexual]

The ultimate shadow ban survivor guide

I've seen multiple people I follow, or their mutuals affected by shadow bans lately (makes me wonder if it's @staff's attempts to fight bots going totally haywire). As someone who survived a 2-month-long shadow ban on my main this winter, I thought I'd make a post.

First step of being shadow banned: calm down and take a breath. A shadow ban is just a stupid glitch in tumblr's anti-spam system. You're not losing your blog. You're gonna need a whole lot of patience, and deal with inconveniences, but it's fixable.

Read the incredibly useful post All About Shadowban by @that-damn-girl. It outlines the symptoms quite well. The only thing I'd point out is "your original posts won’t be visible to your followers either" - afaik that doesn't happen. Everything you post and reblog will still be visible to your followers, and also they can interact with your posts - like them, reblog them, reply to them.

Just like the post says, contact support. I recommend using a different email than what your banned blog is registered to; not because your ticket won't go through (mine actually did, as I found out when they finally replied), but because you might not receive an email confirmation for your ticket (it's somehow tied to the anti-spam thing, I think), and you're going to worry and try to send more tickets, like I did.

Now wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. They are SLOW. I've seen some miraculous 1-day unbans in the #shadow ban tag, but most people, like me, wait around a month for support to reply. Those are the same guys going through thousands of bot reports every day in addition to user tickets.

If you're going to wait, might as well keep blogging. Now if this is your sideblog that's shadow banned, consider yourself lucky. Make a new temporary sideblog, use it to post your original stuff so it goes into tags (mind that it might take a few days for a new blog to start showing up in tags). Reblog everything to your shadow banned blog so you still have all content in one place and your followers see it. If it's your main that's banned, you can still do that, but there's the extra pain of not being able to reply to posts or send non-anon Asks, since that is only done from main. Might need to register a separate account for that.

Some more fun facts under readmore.

Fun fact #1

Trying to send support follow-up emails in the request confirmation email isn't going to do anything to speed up the process. But I did tweet at them using this tumblr support summoning picture by @cornmayor and offered a raccoon blood sacrifice to resolve my issue when it was like a month with no response. This is what they replied.

3 hours later I got an email that my shadowban was lifted. I honestly don't know if it was a coincidence, but I mean, this is tumblr staff. Maybe they do accept blood sacrifices.

Fun fact #2

If you're wondering why my shadow ban lasted 2 months if I got a support reply after 1 month, well. It's hard to say exactly how their ban/unban system works bc support replies exclusively with pre-written template sentences, but basically they fucked up. The first time they told me my blog has been restored, I gained pretty much all functions back, except that my posts were still not appearing in tags. Which means probably that being hidden from tags is some kind of different flag on your blog that they forgot to remove. So I had to send a follow-up ticket and wait another month.

My advice is, when they tell you it's fixed, don't take that at face value, go and check all the functions you'd lost (replies, messaging, asks, tagging, appearing in notes, getting mentioned by others).

#tumblr #shadow ban #shadowban #tumblr support #reference

[juliapark13]

https://www.tumblr.com/juliapark13/738698380775178240/i-love-how-2-groups-of-people-are-pretending

Y'all be like kids istg hjshsjsj💀

Taejoon decided to go together real afffff

Not a tkkr here. Remember that not all ppl who come here as a matter of eye opening to you, is a tkkr. There're many people who aren't shippers. Nor "supporters" bc there's literally nothing to support here. As of now,there's no official couple of bts. Many people don't support headcanons and assumptions. Bc simply it's none of our business and it's really uncertain thing to dedicate time for, wich also, not everyone has this much time for.

May you stay delulu if this keeps you sleep at night. The fact none of armys know anything personal about the members and each of armys look at things in a certain way and see anything as something "eyebrow rising" or a "sign" or whatever while it simply be to fuel shipping propaganda (especially when ml ships are pretty popular In korea and internationally even) and also something not as deep or "romantic" in their life as YOU make it so.

I hate seeing you guys being as toxic as tkks but you're always somehow covered with the fact that you're not actually a tkkr. Since toxicity is only directed to tkks, but this is not actually true. Toxicity exists in jkks and jnkks too. As far as I saw.

I'm actually one of your followers, and many other jkk blogs. That's why I'm writing you here this to express the way I'm sick of y'all. Y'all are grown up right?

Taejoon decided to enlist as companions to be together for whole 18 months too? 😮 I had to miss it anon, my apologies 🤧

…

Sometimes I wonder if you’re this stupid for real, or you just can’t find anything to say anymore, so at the end it only makes you toxic and look like you aren’t grown up.

They don’t have to be official couple for me to believe they are, because it can’t be more obvious they are. They were showing it without actually saying it for years.

I really don’t care if people think they’re only friends unless they don’t downplay everything they do. And you know why they do it?

When we say everyone sees what we see, but it makes them uncomfortable because they are either homophobic or y/ns or ship them with someone else, it’s not a joke. They feel jikook is too real, so they have to downplay their bond every single time.

For example everyone saw the „bite mark” was a hickey and everyone knows what it means. They were shocked and they could never accept it. If they truly believed Jungkook and Jimin are only friends, they wouldn’t have such a huge problem specifically with them.

They don’t even want them to be friends, that’s why they were furious when they found out Jungkook and Jimin are going to enlist together as companions.

Lastly, the only BTS ship pretty popular in Korea is jikook, because koreans aren’t blind and they know their culture.

Happy unfollowing me 👋🏽

#jikook #jikook companions

[nickfowlerrr]

waiting

pairing: dark!andy barber x curvy!reader

warnings: 18+ only. angst angst angst. mommy issues. mentions of pregnancy. allusion to thoughts of abortion (this blog is firmly pro choice btw). self loathing. everyone is just really mean to poor reader. ☹️. oh and a mention or two of mr. ransom drysale 😶 if i’m missing something important pls feel free to let me know.

words: 5.3k

notes: i’ve had this fic in my wips since july and finished since the beginning of this month, i just never posted it lol but i’m so excited to share it finally. this definitely isn’t for everyone and really was just an indulgent write but if you do read this, i hope you enjoy the angst. comments and reblogs are more than welcome and appreciated. i’d love to hear what you think. thank you for reading 🖤

The flickering light in the nearly empty emergency room was unsettling. Your mind was taunting you as you sat in the waiting area, the chair beneath you growing harder and more uncomfortable with each passing minute.

You had jinxed yourself.

Cursing your fate mere hours ago and dwelling on how horribly things were going lately, thinking it couldn’t possibly get any worse.. Of course, it could.

In all honesty, you didn’t really know why you were here. Maybe just as an excuse to try and avoid the inevitable.

Maybe it was some sick sense of guilt hanging over you..

A part of you now desperate to remember the sense of comfort you could find in her - even if only for a few moments. As hard as you’ve tried these last 24 hours, you just couldn’t seem to remember what it felt like. You started to wonder if there was really anything to remember at all. But there had to be, right? She was your mother. There had to be. And then your phone rang. You didn’t let yourself think before you told whoever was on the other end that you would be there soon. You just called an Uber and went right down. Now here you were.

Whatever it was that drove you here - fear, guilt, obligation, a need for reassurance - that maybe this all wouldn’t be so bad, it brought you to this moment. Waiting with baited breath for your name to be called, for someone to escort you to her room, to finally see the damage she had done with her refusal to help herself. You felt bad, though you knew you shouldn’t. The damage she had done to you could be seen every time you looked in the mirror.

Stare too long at your reflection and you're lost again to the darkness that has managed to follow you all your life. You felt hollow a lot of the time, but the more apt word would be numb. Because you weren’t hollow by any means. No, you were full to the brim with hurt and anger and despair. You didn’t like feeling that. So numbness was better.

Just try to forget. Don’t let your mind sit in silence for too long. It was prone to wandering. And so were you. Maybe that’s why you were in the position you were now. You could never let yourself be content. Always searching, always reaching for something more. Something that could finally make you feel. Force you to feel. You just didn’t realize that it would lead you to him. That anyone could ever make you feel as much as he did. That you could ever feel like this.

The flickering of the light was bad, but the seemingly deafening silence was worse.

Until it wasn’t.

The entrance door slid open and you vaguely heard the footfall of whoever had just entered approaching behind you while the chilling breeze from outside came rushing in with them.

The shadow loomed over you and you didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. The creaking of the old chair as he sat directly behind you was irksome, as was his unwanted presence. Maybe if you just pretended he wasn’t there, you wouldn’t have to deal with him right now. Maybe he’d just go away for tonight. Maybe he’d be kind enough to leave you alone.

You could have scoffed out loud at yourself.

Kindness wasn’t really his thing. Not lately. And if you’d learned anything these past six months it was that the times you most wished he’d leave you be, were the times he was sure not to.

Waiting for him to move or speak or to do something, anything at all, was even more frustrating and did nothing to help settle the anxiety that was already turning your stomach. You couldn’t take the silence a moment longer. You spoke with your back to him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been calling you all night,” he responded without answering your question. You could hear the edge in his tone and it only served to piss you off. He had the audacity to be upset when he knew what was going on. You weren’t stupid enough to just not show up when he expected you at his place, you texted him and told him where you’d be and why. It wasn’t like you were hiding from him. At least not in a way he could prove.

“Yeah, well, I've been a little preoccupied.” you said harshly. Biting your lip as you instantly regretted your tone. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but you couldn’t deal with the repercussions you’d get for it from him right now. You were already on the verge of breaking completely.

“Sweetheart,” he leaned forward in his chair as he spoke, voice hard, getting even closer to you as if his presence wasn’t already all together suffocating.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered. “I’m sorry, I just- I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. I’ve been waiting since I texted you. They won’t let me back there.”

Truthfully, you were more upset about the news you’d gotten yesterday than you were about the wait - you weren’t even really sure you wanted to go back there. Their ignorance of you was more helpful than you were sure they realized. You couldn't be accused of not showing up, it’s not like it was your fault they never got to you. You were still there.

You didn’t speak that aloud though, and he wouldn’t have given you any time to if you’d wanted.

He clicked his tongue and got up without saying a word and walked to the receptionist. You watched as they spoke, his charm shining through as the young woman was in complete admiration at the man before her. If only she knew the real him. If only anyone knew what he was really like. But no. He saved his true self for you and you alone.

The shrill laughter of the woman pierced your ears as Andy smiled, charming oozing off of him. You were reminded of the first time you met him. How easily you had fallen for his act, much the same way. Laughing shyly at his compliments and smiling softly at that same smirk you now dread. The one that haunts your dreams at night after he finally grants you some peace. He’d taken over everything. Every aspect of your life. All of you.

He didn’t care. Not really. Not about the situation. Not even truly about you. He could pretend all he liked, but you knew the truth, whether he accepted it or not.

He didn’t care, he just wanted people to believe he did. That’s what it felt like. And damn did they believe. You had, too. Until you got too close. Finally saw him drop the facade.

Sometimes you could convince yourself it was better this way. To really know him, to know the truth. It helped you not feel so much like a fool anymore. And the way you saw people react to him, falling for every kind smile and caring word, that helped too. You couldn’t blame yourself, he was just so damn good at hiding it.

The woman behind the desk pressed a button and the door leading further into the hospital buzzed open. Andy smiled at her again, giving her a soft ‘thank you’.

He stood at the door, looking at you while holding it open, waiting for you to get up. You stared blankly a moment, your body not wanting to move. This was stupid. Seeing her wouldn’t change anything. It’d do no good for either of you. In fact, it’d probably just send you spiraling even further. You never should have come here in the first place. Never should have answered the phone to begin with. You had bigger problems to worry about. This was too much. It was all too much. Maybe you could visit her after she got home, but you couldn’t do this, especially not right now. Your heart was starting to race and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You opened your mouth slightly, wanting to speak but no words would come out. You vaguely heard Andy call your name, but didn’t respond to it, not until he loudly cleared his throat and broke through your trance. You looked at him immediately, his annoyance clear in what used to be such kind eyes. You couldn’t find the softness or warmth you did before. Only harsh blue staring a hole through you. You forced your body to move, albeit slowly, standing up and walking toward him. When you were close enough and he was sure no one was watching, he gripped your arm tight and pulled you through the threshold of the door. You stumbled forward, gasping slightly, and tried to pull your arm away, grimacing as his grip was too tight. You looked up at him, pleading without words, eyes begging him to relent. Instead of just letting go of you, he threw your arm away from him and out of his hold. Another needless aggression.

“Stop acting so goddamn catatonic,” he snarled.

“I shouldn’t have come here,” you murmured. “I can’t do this,” you breathed as you tried to move past him, back through the door you’d just entered through.

“Now you want to leave? The second I get you back here? You’re that fucking stubborn. You won’t let me do any nice thing for you, you just like when I’m mean to you, is that it?”

“Andy, please,” you tried to calm him. “It’s not you, I just, I can’t do this, okay. I can’t see her. Please. Let’s just go, I’ll go with you, alright? Wherever you wanted to go tonight, let’s go,” you pleaded. You really couldn’t fathom having to face her. Now that you were so close, you just couldn’t do it. Hell, you were begging the man you’d been trying to keep away from to take you anywhere else, you were that desperate to avoid this reunion.

Your head was down now, staring at his solid chest as he continued to keep you blocked from the door. You felt his hand come up, moving some of your hair out of your face. His touch, deceptively gentle. He moved to tilt your chin up, forcing you to meet his eyes.

“You are leaving with me, you already know that. But we’re not going anywhere until I say we are. You’re gonna be a big girl,” he said, voice dripping with condescension as he gripped your chin painfully, “and do what you came here to do. You can’t run from your fears forever.”

You felt tears welling in your eyes but you fought them back with everything you had.

I hate you I hate you I hate you.

That was all that was running through your head as you blinked away the tears threatening to spill. He didn’t deserve your tears. Neither of them did.

You backed away, lips in a tight line and eyes hard.

A nurse was passing by as you did and Andy was quick to put on a show.

He grabbed your hand gently and it took everything in you not to rip it away. He pulled you back closer and wrapped his arms around you, burying your face in his chest. “It’s alright, sweetheart. Everything’s gonna be okay,” he spoke softly. You couldn’t see his face, so you didn’t know for sure, but you would have bet money he smiled at the nurse as they passed by. Another phony display of comfort.

You weren’t even sure he realized why he was doing it, or how hollow of a gesture it was. You wondered if he really was that deluded that he could think this was a sincere intimate moment between the two of you. His heavy hand was rubbing your back in an attempt to be soothing, and seemed to confirm your thoughts. He turned you in his hold, your back to his chest as he ushered you in the direction of the room number he had been given.

Your feet were only moving because he was pushing you forward. You didn’t know what room you were going to, but when Andy stopped in front of a cracked door, you figured that must be it. You swallowed hard, turning to face him again. Having to see her on your own was enough to leave you feeling sick, but with the news you got yesterday still weighing on you and Andy hovering so close, you felt nearly immobile. The more you thought about what was about to happen, the more anxious you got. You started to think about the last time you’d had to introduce your mother to the person you were seeing. It went horribly, even he agreed. And Ransom had a pretty low bar set for family as it was. Not that he had any room to judge.. Thinking about him and everything that had gone down those few years ago gave you chills even now. How the hell did you constantly end up in these convoluted, fucked up relationships. You worried it said more about you than it did any of them.

“You, you can’t go in,” you said, shaking your head as you avoided eye contact. “She’ll…it’ll be a whole thing,” you tried to explain.

“She doesn’t know about me?” he sniffed.

“I haven’t seen her in over a year,”

“You don’t call?” You cringed at his tone. Accusatory, like he always was, already putting the blame for the rift you had with your mother on you without knowing any of the details. You swallowed the renewed lump forming in your throat and took a stabilizing breath before you responded.

“It’s been a while,” you choked, your voice thick and throat tight.

“Well I can introduce myself just fine,”

You moved to block him from entering the door, earning a stern glare in response.

“I’m only going to say this once,” he seethed. “Move.”

“Let me just talk to her first,” you refused.

His jaw ticked as he stared down at you, eyes narrowed. He huffed, agitated. You thought for a second he was going to listen, but you should have known better. He took a step closer, bending down and grabbing your face in his large hands.

“You’re gonna remember this exact moment later tonight. And you’re gonna regret it.”

His voice was calm, his eyes sure - and you believed him. Your shoulders sagged as you deflated. You weren’t gonna win this one. He brushed past you and entered the room with a knock on the door as he pushed it open. His previous irritation was quickly replaced by his mask of goodheartedness.

You heard her before you saw her, the lilt of her voice paralyzing you.

Suddenly you were a kid all over again, teary eyed and broken hearted at the words that spilled from her lips as she held up clothes to you in the department store, vicious in meaning but so gentle in her delivery. If you didn’t pay attention to the words, you could convince yourself she was reassuring you instead of tearing you apart. That’s what it looked like to passersby, you were sure. The unadulterated spite and barely concealed hatred was saved for you behind closed doors. Living under her roof was your own personal hell and once you got out from under her thumb, you refused to settle back down anywhere. Never believing you were secure, wanted. You just kept searching for what you were longing for, never accepting when you’d found it, or just too scared to stay. Always wandering to the next. You couldn't stay too long or they'd grow to despise you, too.

Who would have thought you'd find yourself trapped again after all these years, all the time you spent desperate to avoid it. It was almost comical. It had to be cosmic. It was like you ran right into him. You wanted to know what you had done in your past life to have cursed yourself to such a fate in this one. How did they keep finding you and what had you done to deserve it? Another devil holding you down. You should have seen it coming. Maybe you did. Maybe it just felt so familiar, the only love you knew as a kid. Anything else you'd received felt like a joke, like you didn't deserve it. Or maybe it was even simpler than that. Maybe you were just tired of trying to outrun fate.

The people you found yourself closest to were always the wolves in sheep’s clothing. Seeming so gentle and loving from the outside, but ready to tear you apart the second they get you alone. Exposed. Vulnerable.

Maybe you did deserve this. The second you started to believe things were finally going right for you, that maybe you could finally be happy, that seeming reality was shattered for you by the very hands you thought were helping put you back together after spending so much of your life feeling absolutely broken.

You didn’t really hear the words they were exchanging as you walked into the room after a moment, taking a heavy breath. When you finally focused in, you heard the end of their brief introductions.

“There’s my daughter,” she announced as you approached. “Look at you,” she intoned, looking you up and down before landing on your face. “You’re all done up. Got all your makeup on.”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest uncomfortably as you took a breath, looking away from her. You could hear the judgment clear as day laced in her words.

“It looks pretty,” she tried to compliment when you looked to her, face solemn. “I wish I could do my makeup like that,” she said smiling.

“Thanks, mom,” you replied, taking a step further into the room. You could feel Andy’s gaze on you, watching you intently, waiting for you to make your way to him, you were sure. “...How are you?”

You felt stupid for even asking, but you didn’t really know what else to say.

“Oh, ya know,” she tried to play off. “I’m fine, honey, I’m fine,” she assured you when you looked at her with a slightly raised brow. She took a breath. “I haven’t seen you in over a year. Haven’t heard from you nearly at all, either, I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah. Sorry,” you said, feeling guilty.

“Hey, that’s life, though. Gets hard. Trust me, I know,” she said before she considered you a moment. With just the tilt of her head you knew she was about to say something provocative. “You look so different…. A lot can change in over a year, though, right?” she continued, looking over to Andy deliberately.

“Uhm. Mom, this is Andy Barber. Andy, my mother,” you introduced them only out of obligation. Manners were important to both of them. Something else they had in common.

“So he told me,” she smiled. “I’m assuming you’re… dating?” You swallowed hard as you looked at her before looking to Andy.

“Six months now,” he responded for you, walking to where you were still standing, smiling softly as he put his arm around you. It was deceptively sweet, comforting. You almost wanted to let yourself relax into him, use him as a shield against the vitrole you knew would be coming eventually.

“Six months? Wow. That must be a record for you, right?” she baited you with a laugh. You didn’t respond, just looked down to the one teal tile on the floor amongst the sea of white. You could feel her eyes on you before she realized she wouldn’t be getting a response, turning her attention to Andy instead.

“So, what do you do for work?” she prodded.

“I’m an assistant DA,” he answered her.

“A lawyer?” your mother said, shocked evident in her voice as she looked at you. “Well, better make sure this one lasts,'' she told you. “And if it does last, you’d better get a prenup,” she laughed again as she nodded to Andy.

You stiffened as Andy did beside you and bit your cheek, eyes narrowed and brows furrowed. She noticed your face and her scoff made your stomach turn. You looked up to see her rolling her eyes as she looked away like she was exhausted by you already. “You just always have to have an attitude don’t you?” she said almost under her breath, frustrated. “Why are you so sensitive? You’re an adult. Stop taking things so personally. Lighten up, grow some skin. I’m trying to have a conversation and it's like everything I say you have an issue with.

God, y/n, ya know, why are you even here? To make me feel worse? Remind me how much of a fuck up mother I am?” You knew it was coming. It always did. And yet you were still jostled by her flip. You felt Andy’s hand squeeze your waist as you unconsciously backed further into him, pressing closer to his side like a frightened puppy trying to hide yourself.

“Mom, I didn’t say anyt-”

“Why are you here?” she enunciated each word loudly, interrupting and talking over you.

“They called when they brought you in. I’m your emergency contact, remember?”

“Remember? Don’t talk to me like I’m senile.” she nearly sneered.

You bite your tongue and cursed yourself for feeling tears well up already.

“Yeah, that’s great. Bring out the waterworks. Put on a show, make me the bad guy. It’s always me, right? It’s always my fault,” she continued. “What do you have to cry for? I’m the one who was abandoned by you. You show up after over a year of rejecting my calls and one word text responses, what to make yourself feel better? Where were you when I needed you, huh?” she questioned, words like knives in your heart. You felt so small under her angry gaze. You felt like the worst person in the world. You felt like a child. A weak, scared, sorry child.

“Andy was it?” she asked, pulling her eyes from you as she turned them to Andy.

“Mr. Barber is fine,” he corrected, voice hard and defensive.

“Well, Mr. Barber,” she mimicked, “I’m sorry you have to see this, but let me just warn you. If I know my daughter, I know she's not much for sticking around. She’ll run as soon as she gets the chance. She’s like her father that way. The second she gets tired of you. The second you can’t offer her anything anymore,” the bitterness was dripping from her every word, “she’ll be gone.”

You gulped down the lump in your throat and squeezed your own hand to try and keep yourself calm.

“If you don’t believe me, just ask her ex. He’ll tell you the same thing,” she said.

“What are you talking about?” you said dumbfounded and exasperated.

“What do you think I’m talking about? Ransom,” she said as if it was obvious. The mention of his name had you frozen. “The second you found out he was written out of that will, you left him like it was nothing.”

“Are you serious? You’re gonna bring that up right now? He went to prison for murder, mom!” you raged. “And you know what, my relationships are none of your business,” you seethed.

“You slept with him for his money, you and I both know it. Just because it turned into something more after doesn’t change the way it started.”

“That’s not true,” you whispered angrily.

“I don’t believe you,” she told you, voice eerily level as tears renewed in your eyes.

“What is wrong with you?” you asked, voice breaking as Andy pulled you behind him.

“That’s enough. It’s clear this was a bad idea,” he stated, making you want to scream. As if you hadn’t told him as much before he forced you in here. You turned to the side as you held your head in your hands, trying to regain your composure.

“Oh my god,” your mother breathed as she took in your side profile for the first time. Her voice was full of worry and your head shot over to her immediately in response to your name being spoken in near reprimand. “Are...are you pregnant?” she asked out of nowhere.

“What?” you breathed.

“Your stomach looks bigger. Like there’s a bump there. It’s been a year but I know what you look like when you put on weight,” she started, eyes locked on your tummy. “And I know what baby weight looks like.. Yo-you’re pregnant aren’t you?” she asked again. She sounded..scared.

You were looking at her, confounded as Andy turned to you, looking much the same. He eyed you up and down before you felt his gaze settle on your stomach. Your hands came up to your lower belly self consciously.. Or maybe it was protectively.

You didn’t know how she knew. You’d only just found out yourself. You didn’t think you were showing noticeably in the slightest. Your periods were always irregular. Skipping cycles wasn’t anything you would think twice about. You were on the pill. You thought maybe you were just more bloated lately. Gaining weight wasn’t anything new for you, either. You didn’t piece any of it together right away. You had no reason to. You were protected. Or so you thought. And you had zero plans of informing Andy of the news. Not yet. You were still trying to process it. You couldn’t be a mother. You couldn’t become your mother. But what were you supposed to do? You could deny it easily enough, put the conversation off, but you knew Andy wouldn’t let it go. He’d want a test to know for sure either way. He’d find out the truth. You were planning to make your appointment next week to find out how far along you were. See if you had any options left.

“Are you pregnant?” Andy asked softly, walking closer to you.

Your mouth was dry. You didn’t want to answer him, but you knew you’d have to. You licked your lips before you spoke.

“I don’t- I- I think.. maybe,” you breathed, words fumbling while you were avoiding eye contact with both of them.

Your attention was caught by your mother lamenting your nickname, pained and sorrowful. “Don’t do this to yourself,” she pleaded. “You’re so young, you’re not ready to be a mother. You-”

“All due respect,” Andy snapped, “- which is near none,” he added, sneering as he turned on your mother while you watched in sudden shock, mouth slightly agape while your mind spun, “you have absolutely no say here. In fact, it’s none of your business. This is a private matter between your daughter and I - no one else. But if you really want to worry about anyone’s ability to mother, I’d focus on yourself first. You’ve done a real bang up job so far,” he said sarcastically.

“Andy,” you reproached, walking quietly to him, wanting to calm things before they got worse.

“We’re leaving,” he said to you while sending daggers to your mother who looked at you with tears in her eyes, “You never should have come here.”

You looked at your mom, discontent clear on your face.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” she said, voice cracking. You had to look away before your own tears started to fall, lip wobbling. You weren’t sure what she was apologizing for, but it was the first time you ever heard her say those words sincerely. And it broke your heart. Andy grabbed your hand in his as he pulled you to the door and out of the room. The second you were past the door, you immediately broke down in tears. Everything hitting you all at once. Suddenly you were gasping for air as you felt like your legs were about to give out beneath you. Andy’s arms wrapped around you, turning you to pull you into his chest, his strength keeping you up as you leaned fully into him. One hand was holding your head while the other was wrapped around you, rubbing your back as you cried. He placed a kiss atop your head while he hushed you quietly, both of you standing in the empty hospital hallway.

You caught your breath after a minute and let yourself believe he was holding you so gently because he really cared. Because he was sorry for not listening to you. Because he wanted you to feel better, to comfort you. Whether it was true or not, it helped. Slowly you pulled away from him, and his hand came up to brush the tears off your puffy cheeks.

“How far along are you?”

“I really don’t know,” you said honestly. “If I had to guess, at least ten weeks,”

“How long have you known?” he asked quietly, thumb still stroking your cheek.

You looked at him doe eyed, lips set in a small pout. You opened your mouth to speak before he cut you off,

“I’m gonna tell you right now, don’t lie to me,” he warned, an ocean storm brewing in his normally brilliant blue eyes as he forced you to look him in the eye.

“Since yesterday,” you murmured. “I swear.”

He nodded slightly then took you by surprise, pulling you closer for a slow and deep kiss. Your brows were furrowed as he pulled away to allow you both a breath.

“You should have told me right when you found out,” he reproached.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed. “I was still trying to wrap my head around it. I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I don’t know how this even happened,” you confessed. But Andy knew.

He’d been switching out your birth control for nearly four months now and had long since stopped wearing condoms with you, though that you were aware of. He didn’t think it was important to tell you about the swap he’d made with your pills, so he decided to keep that to himself. No need to get you worked up again. Especially now that he knew you finally were pregnant. He’d have to figure out a way to keep you as stress free as possible. Keeping you home would be easy enough, he basically had you living with him already, but he’d have to make that change slowly, you would surely resist his attempts to keep you at home if he made it too obvious.

He found your mother’s warning funny, though. As if you’d ever be able to run from him. You’d tried, but he was always two steps ahead. You didn’t go anywhere without him knowing, whether you knew that or not. You were his now. You had been since the day he first laid eyes on you. You weren’t going anywhere. As he thought about the changes he’d have to make now that you were pregnant, he remembered the punishment he’d given you a few nights ago. It reminded him you had another one coming tonight, too. He’d have to go about them differently now, though. As much as he loved discipling you, his tactics would have to change, he’d need to be even more careful with you. And more lenient, he realized. He loved your responses to spankings, but he was looking forward to changing your punishments up with edging or overstimulation now instead. Either way, he was sure to make you cry. Make sure you’d learn your lessons. And he’d get started tonight. You brought out the darkness in him, but you brought the softness out, too. He wanted to remind you how good things could be. There was just one more thing bugging him at the moment that he’d have to let out.

“Come on,” he instructed. “I parked in the garage.”

You walked with him to the entrance before he led the way to his car.

He opened the door for you and helped you in before he went around and got in himself. He sighed heavily as you sat in silence for a moment before he turned to you.

“Who the fuck is Ransom?”

#andy barber x curvy!reader #andy barber x plus size reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber #andy barber x plus size!reader #dark!andy barber x reader #dark!andy barber #soft!dark andy barber #andy barber angst #soft!dark andy barber x reader #tw abortion #tw pregnancy #tw mommy issues #chris evans characters #andy barber fic #andy barber fanfiction #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber x curvy!reader #dark!andy barber x plus size!reader #soft!dark andy barber x curvy!reader #dark andy barber x reader #dark andy barber x curvy reader #dark andy barber x plus size reader

[osaemu]

mini-announcement, i probably won't be posting/interacting over the weekend because i have a big tournament and i'll be spending time with my team !! just a heads up in case you're wondering why i haven't replied to you or your ask yet :,) sorry about that 🤍

cw: discourse under the cut.

i didn't want to have to make this post, but lately i've been receiving a lot of anonymous asks about a certain blog and unfortunately, it's gotten to a point where i feel like i have to address it. don't take this post as being hateful in any way—this is just something i just wanted to get off my chest. this isn't a big deal, so no reblogs either, thanks.

the bottom four asks all came within a span of five minutes, so i think it's a reasonable assumption to make that they were all sent by the same person. as for who that is, i'll get into that at the end of the post.

but first of all, i can say without a doubt that i have a personality of my own. case closed. nobody's actually said how we're similar in any way, so i'll assume these are all from no-lifes who couldn't find anything better to hate on.

second of all, my netflix banner was actually inspired by another blog, who i won't namedrop for the sake of their peace. and either way, our banners don't even look similar, nor do either of us own netflix. x x

and finally, those are actually the two most braindead asks i've ever received. are we copyrighting letters now? does anyone own the letter e?

don't compare blogs/writers—it's never ended well, and it never will.

even after getting these asks, i still didn't say anything about it because.. i don't really care. everyone's entitled to their own opinion, and what you think of me is up to you.

moving on, i think tee left tumblr sometime in between that time and now, and i was told by a mutual that i was mentioned within the post. if i'm being completely honest, i didn't read all of it because we have each other blocked anyways and it was a lot to read through.. so i skimmed over the bit about me, but didn't really see anything of interest, which is why i didn't address it.

i also had anons on at the time, and i did think it was interesting how i didn't receive a single ask about tee from then up until today, about a month later. up until a couple hours ago, i hadn't even thought about her because, again, i don't care. this is tumblr dot com, not my love life. most of the drama here is over pixels anyways, so i don't waste my day thinking about it.

neither of these are particularly interesting, but the fact that you weirdos are still associating me with someone who i'm not even mutuals with is.. not to my liking.

idk what false accounts the second anon's talking about, because i don't go looking for drama. if you need proof, here's how many sideblogs i have... (click the image)

zero!

as for the idea that i'm jealous of tee, i'm perfectly fine with the amount of followers i have now. i've always been open about my satisfaction with my interaction rates, and that hasn't changed.

and obviously, tee's a good writer—when have i ever said otherwise? if it was based solely off of writing, i would say that she deserves every single one of her followers, maybe even more. i don't think anybody on this app would disagree with me when i say that she's genuinely one of the best fanfic writers i've come across.

however, i won't support someone just because i like their content. i've stopped listening to many artists because i didn't like who they were as a person, and similarly, once i read the reblogs on a certain callout post, i stopped consuming tee's content as well.

there's a reason i avoided making this post in the past—because i don't really have anything to say. tee and i have never had a directly negative interaction, as i'm sure you all can see in her archival post. the reason i don't support her anymore is because i didn't particularly like how she never spoke up about her followers sending death threats to other followers. that's it.

while i have my guesses as to who sent those anons, i don't care enough to find out. and i think it's better that way. this conflict's been dragged on for long enough, and this is my way of saying that i'd like to be excluded from this narrative from now on.

tee, if someone sends you this post at some point, feel free to contact me if you'd like to clear anything up. we're both adults, and i think we can agree that nothing monumental has happened between us to cause any of this. honestly, the only people dragging this on are the weirdo anons in my inbox.

to whoever's reading this post, thank you for listening to my side of the story—it was nice to be able to get this off my chest. wish me luck at my tournament, and i'll be back after the weekend !! 🤍

#sabs posts! #cw discourse #mutuals can ask for my discord in dms btw <3

[helphowdoiusethis]

This is going to be a long post because I have a lot to say

I want to start this, with a message towards my moots and all my followers. Really, thank you all for making this past year one in a million. Thank you for everyone who likes one of my stupid silly posts and even re-blogged it, because that is a reward to me, for something stupid, from someone else that agreed with me. You all brighten up my day and it makes me so happy whenever I see you all my inbox and I see the notes that you will leave. Thank you.

To more specific moots. You know who. This is specifically a message to you guys.

Thank you! You're all there for me whenever I need it and god of I needed some days.

Thank you, I never thought when I made this in almost two years ago in 2021 that I would be here having some of the best frienda making silly little posts and expressing my love for middle aged gays, I never thought I would be here and I know however many followers I have isn't a big number but it's big to me because people are seeing my things and loving what I say so the point where they follow me that makes it such an important thing and I don't think people understand that so thank you. Thank you, every last one of you and I hope to keep bringing whatever sort of Joy or Despair into your life thank you!

Now, you may wonder why I'm doing this. I'm not leaving, I've already made a post about what I will say when I leave or if I leave Tumblr but I'm not. This is merely an appreciation post to everyone that sees this, even if you don't follow me or you're not one of my moots.yyou deserve to be appreciated because you're alive in a year that was starting off the way it did and ending exactly how it has your here and you're important. you changed, you're different but in the wide scheme of things you will still this person who has lived whose kept breathing and has changed. But that has not changed, who you are to the people on here and people say that on Tumblr, because you don't know what everyone looks like it's not real how we get slammed, because we're not a wide known thing but on here there are families of close knit individuals and some are more important than families at points and better than them so whether you're on here because you're looking at pictures of your favorite characters or you're on here for a bigger reason.

You are important and don't ever let anyone bring you down because you are you, that's all you need to be.

#helphowdoiusethis #long post #important #needs to be said #moots #lovely things said

[thebdsmsofurlife]

I’ve been edging myself to your posts…I love your blog. It's hot!🔥

Words truly can be perceived in a way as our inherent programming language and people like me who understand the power of words and often can make them sway at their whims can often use them to cause the very people who read those words sway along with the words as well.

As you continue reading this, be a good little slut and click on these black boxes whenever you see them, well technically I don't have to say this because after the first one your fingers will just gravitate towards those boxes knowing how they shall bring waves of pleasure to you.

I bet it gets exhausting having so many thoughts on your mind, so many rules to follow, so many responsibilities, so many people to impress and keep happy. But allow me to show you how good it would feel to have to worry about none of that. You think too much, you worry too much and that is what I offer you, a way out. A way to shut off your mind temporarily and hand over control to someone you trust, someone you want to be controlled by. Once you experience how good it feels to just surrender your mind to me and shut it down every once in a while, you may feel yourself becoming enthralled to the idea. That is why you come here after all isn't it ? You wish to get away, to truly feel what it's like to have no control, albeit in a safe space, that is what I offer here. A chance to shut off your thoughts while you allow me to make you relive your fantasy in absolute vivid detail.

I know you, I know why you want this. I can tell, because if you're still reading this, this stranger whose mere words are describing you so well knows you better than most people in your lives. After all, most of those people only see parts of you that you want them to see. While I see the real you, the darkest parts of yourself, the part of you that just wishes to surrender yourself to someone and just be used.

Consider this, right now, you could have been watching some porn. Watching someone give another a blowjob. But you don't want that do you. You would rather read me describe a blowjob. You can almost feel it happening, it's almost magical the way you feel it right now, isn't it? There's my good slut If you have a cock you can almost feel it twitch as you feel those wonderful lips wrap themselves around it. If you would rather have a cock in your mouth you can almost taste it as it slides effortlessly in and out of your mouth.

See I do know what I'm doing. That is why I said that it's too late for you. I already have begun to turn you my good little slut. After all that is what you need to don't you?

#bd/sm daddy #daddy k!nk #daddy’s babygirl #bd/sm kink

[koinotame]

\o/

hi! it's me, nana / koinotame!

if you're wondering why i went inactive and then deleted, my mental health kind of (really) tanked... and i ended up deleting my blog in a fit.

it's getting better bit by bit though! and i've been wanting to get back into writing (and talking abt my unhinged/yan ideas i can't really talk to anyone else abt), so. here i am! for now, at least

as for my previously posted writing, there's some good news and some bad news: the bad news is that everything i wrote directly into tumblr (99% of snippets, a lot of ask answers, most exact content warnings, etc) is gone. the slightly less bad news is that iirc there were very very few posts of mine that weren't reblogged by anyone at all, so they're probably still out there? feel free to send them my way if you find any and i'll rb them. @/midnight-remembrance also has reblogged a couple of them! there's a couple snippets i have saved in some places, so i might repost those on my own as i find them, but there's very few of those. the good news is that anything longer (proper writing — oneshots, hcs, yan alphabet responses and so on, prompt responses, etc) is safely backed up where i originally wrote it! some of it is also on my ao3, which is the same username. feel free to send me asks about any you'd like to see again and i'll repost them! i might not post them if i feel too embarrassed about/wish i hadn't posted them, and i might rewrite/heavily edit some of them, but i think there's only a handful that fall into the former category and none of them were particularly popular. either way, no harm in asking!

as for some other updates: i'm a little divided on whether i want to keep posting explicit nsfw or not so we'll see. i might just keep it out of main tags. idk yet. regardless of what decision i make, this blog is still strictly 18+ and that will not be changing. since we can reply from sideblogs now, this is a sideblog and not my main now. why? sometimes i prefer to check up on a blog frequently instead of following them for a couple of reasons, but this felt very awkward when they were following me. so this being a sideblog relieves a bit of that stress. if this makes it sound like i have severe brain worms, it's because i do. to that effect though, if we interact every so often feel free to consider us mutuals regardless of whether or not i'm actually following you =w=b tbh i.............. am not really into genshin anymore. i might post about it here and there but i just Do Not (really) Care about it anymore. scara aside to some degree i also have no clue what's going on post inazuma lol whatever projects or commitments to writing or etc i had made beforehand. i forgot all of them so just pretend that never happened ok? ok i'll also probably be posting more sparsely, but we'll see! and (this is obviously the most important bit) i have no clue where i put the mika edit so we're back to my og classic pfp. the header scales terribly and is temporary, please ignore that too

all that aside, as a treat for anyone who sees this in time,

*roughly 6/22 done, but fairly quick to write. roughly one paragraph per character (sneak peek line: "it's not too hard to be discreet with his unique magic when someone really deserves to fall face down a flight of stairs. or three. oopsie. odd they don't remember it, huh? well, he had nothing to do with that.") **more realistic isn't quite the right word(s)... probably won't post this one to the main tags regardless. won't be doing all of the characters (only important/relevant ones) and won't be writing more about/expanding on, so this one is just like. a one off experiment sort of thing. overall less violent than most takes on the au + leans a bit (or lot, depending on how you look at it) more on the religious aspect of self aware aus. i wrote a couple paragraphs a while ago, then rewrote them, but i'll only finish/post them if there's interest for it (sneak peek line: "aether has deluded himself and cast You aside entirely on his own—and when You finally grace them with Your real presence, zhongli is certain aether will be the first to fall from Your grace.")

i have one other new thing immediately ready for posting that'll get posted in a couple of days but that one's pretty silly

#koinotame #and hi to the three people that found this blog before i posted this o/ #long post #i ended up writing a lot. ehem. #<- the type to always have trouble getting essays down to the max word limit #if nobody ends up seeing this. well. it'll be here still when i post some actual writing #q

[nobodysdaydreams]

THIS WAS SO GOOD OH MY GOSH! (or my reaction to Wolf359's "Change of Mind")

Well dear readers, you've been hyping this up a lot, so I'm pleased to finally be able to bring you my reaction to "Change of Mind", because I, Bods B. Nobody, have finished my finals, so I get to relax now.

Hahahaha...just kidding. No, no, I have a TON of stuff that I've been putting off to study for finals and write essays that's almost as bad as the finals themselves. Almost. Man I hate logistics. Doug and I really are the same person. I think it's the ADHD, but of all the fictional characters I've seen, he is one of the most surprisingly relatable.

I'll be reacting to this while doing chores, but please enjoy! And I apologize in advance if I don't react again for several weeks, I'm visiting family and friends for the holidays and won't be able to sit down for a while. But I hope to listen to season 4 soon!

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Change of Mind:

Oh hi Lovelace. But which one are you? Alien robot clone Lovelace, or the original?

Or maybe someone or something else?

And do you know who you are?

Oh a lucid dream!

Flashback to the old crew! Interesting...Hello Hilbert. I'm not learning how to spell "sell burg". Selburg. is that it?

I see what we're doing. You're gonna make me like the old crew and make me listen to them die and all of Lovelace's trauma? Oldest trick in the book: utilizing flashback land at the right time. Why don't you just take us back to Doug's car crash well you're at it? Oh! Or maybe we can listen to Minkowski's husband hear that his wife died? Oh, no, wait, take us to when Hera tried to escape Pryce's facility, I actually want to see that.

Oh she and Lambert seem to have a bit of a rivalry going on. It's like Doug and Minkowski. They annoy each other, but if anyone else tries to hurt them, they'll go nuts (and probably feel real guilty no doubt).

"Everything alright?" When is it ever alright? This entire show, I don't think we've had one alright day.

Only a matter of time before Hilbert pulls some BS.

LOVELACE IS DOING THE INTRO I LOVE IT! I love when they change who does the intro (I say as I'm sure to eat my words when Cutter and/or Pryce does it).

I'm sorry I have a hard time keeping track of the names. At least Lambert has a distinct voice.

Oh do these two other characters have a bit of thing going on? I love the accents. It's a good way to help me distinguish them, even though I still can't tell who is who. oh yeah Hilbert I know. And geez man no need to be a buzz kill.

Lambert, the people who wrote the manual are sadistic lunatics who need to be imprisoned.

Ah Australian accent guy!

preach it Australian accent guy: "Zip it sir!"

"There's good stuff in these manuals, or they wouldn't be up here either."

Hm. Not sure about that one Australian guy. But we can't be right about everything.

Oh but he is right about Cutter. Cutter DOES get creepier every time. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

"I AM NOT" ...wait. Is Lambert voiced by... (*quick and careful google search to avoid spoilers*) ...Zach Valenti, yeah I heard it that time. Well that explains the nasal voice.

I love how Doug and Sam are both communications officers, and yet so different from each other.

I love Rhea. But I do wonder. Why does she only communicates by beeps? At first I assumed it was because she was an earlier model, and Hera was an upgrade with a voice for easier communication. But then Pryce had that line of "There is a reason I give these things my voice...". But it seems you didn't always have to do that Pryce. I wonder what Rhea did that made her so nervous?

Message from Command? The empty man again? Oh..."your complaints will be processed upon Lovelace’s return to earth?" Cutter was probably giggling to himself when he wrote that.

BOX 953? BOX 953? FINALLY!!!!!

I swear. Cutter and Pryce intentionally send up the most organized, by the book, responsible person they can find up paired with the most ADHD, I don't care, I don't want to be here person they can find just for the purpose of making Hilbert miserable when he has to listen to them fight.

"Who will fight for what is right?" Yeah, I'm sure Lambert and Lovelace will, unlike you Hilbert.

Ah yes the big box. The mysterious big box. We're finally gonna open the great big box. 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎊🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Is it an alien? Is it a death machine? OH THE SOUND IS BACK!

Right the bolts. But we can do it, please please do it, I've waited a long time just open the box. Shut up Hilbert, no one cares what you have to say, I just want the box open, and you are gonna betray everyone anyway because you're crazy and think Cutter is gonna use Decima for good stuff, but he's gonna use it for eugenics, calling it now, because, guess what? When I was studying for my final, I realized from my lecture notes that "Goddard" is the name of a eugenicist who later apologized for his work, but not before other eugenicists took it and ran with it. And I don't believe that's a coincidence.

🎶 Opening the box. Opening the box. We're finally opening the great big box! 🎶

And..........

.....it's a....machine thing. A weird mechanical machine thing.

...

Okay!

6 openings on the machine...PUT YOUR HANDS INSIDE?

No. Nope. Not doing that. Don't like that. Don't do that.

Oh that sounded painful. That sounded...

Gross. Cutter.

THE WAITING ROOM?

...

THE WAITING ROOM?

I SWEAR THAT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR TMBS PARALLELS IN EVERY MEDIA I CONSUME BUT COME ON. IT HAS THE SAME NAME. THE SAME NAME. And I suppose the first fandom you join tumblr for never truly leaves you, does it? I've only spent about a year on this site, still learning.

Mental blank space? Oh gosh this is gross.

"Of course it's inside your head. But why should that mean it's not real?" Dang it Cutter I was gonna use a similar line in my fic and now I can't. You just can't stop giving me reasons to hate you can you? It's like an Olympic sport to him. Props to the writers though.

Imprint of Cutter's personality? That's the worst personality you could have picked.

Oh I see. Lambert's complaints did this... oh dear... well he's gonna learn his lesson about complaining now...

Complaining = Cutter's torture box.

He's taking them on a "Field Trip?"

With Cutter? I doubt it. *camera cuts Doug moaning*

What happens if they don't solve the mystery before time? And is there even a real timer? And why do I get the feeling YOU KILLED THE CREW CUTTER?

"Talent show went wrong or some sort of incident" I love the irony. I also wonder whether or not some of these crews are clones or whether these trips have happened before. It's a possibility.

Oh great. Australian man has people he cares about on earth. You guys really want to rip my heart out on this one don't you?

Oh who is this? What captain? Who's surrender? Explosives? For who's plan? Who is paying for it? What?

Well. What a nice obliging fella. I love Australian man. He's one of my favorite characters. I'm sorry about name thing.

"From A to E, all my love" Interesting. I wonder that too. Not sure we have characters by those names. Well, Alana, but she's dead and that doesn't really fit her.

Oh a diary. Emily. Who is coming? Are these people supposed to be "fills ins" for them. Like to show them what might happen if they went crazy or rebelled against Cutter? This is messed up.

Someone would do that? ...oh. If this was a real event, Cutter is making Hilbert live through it all over again. Which means Hilbert has to act like he doesn't know what's going on but also does because they are being timed.

I hope they use that for comedy: Hilbert: "oh look! Clue! I mean um...I think, I was not here this did not happen I do not know."

Katherine who? Who destroyed the samples? ...four glass tanks.

What um...what happened to the fifth glass tank? The spiders? Something worse?

Oh my gosh. The heartbeat coming from the box when Doug found it. The fact that it was so large...no wait, this is a simulation, never mind. I thought I had something there.

Cutter you can't edit the simulation that's not fair. Back on the Hephaestus? Why do I doubt it. Oh Rhea. Good work Rhea! But um...I have my doubts...

"A shame not to know" it is, but it would be even more foolish to investigate.

"I have a weird feeling we're not at rock bottom yet...I don't want to crash into it..." oh you have no idea Lovelace.

"It could be important" not in the way you think Lambert. Not in the way you think Lambert.

"There's a thing following us" I knew it wasn't over yet.

The empty man cometh.

...Oh great. Lovelace that's not funny. Doing stuff like that triggers the dramatic irony.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

The Dramatic Irony Cometh.

Ah! Here it is. Who said "Tell me about it?" Was that Doug? How would that even be possible? Was that Cutter? This is weird. I can't tell whose voice it is exactly.

Oh Australian man is getting closer to the truth. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it Hilbert?

"Is anyone there?" Someone is always there.

Aw poor Rhea. She knows what's happening to Fischer. :( Or she's mocking Hilbert.

"How did I end up back here?" You're still in the simulation.

Who is there? The empty man. He escaped his box! Or you're still in the simulation. Or both.

Rhea is calling out your BS Hilbert.

Dmitri?

How does she know his name? And why do I think Rhea isn't the one doing this. I do like the idea of the ship's architecture changing.

No change in the star. Yet something is happening.

Empty men time!

Or...empty...dog? Time? What's with the growl?

Wings? Tentacles? A what? Monster YOU imagined?

Well then. We're still in the simulation.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you haven't figured it out." Who is that?

Is that Cutter? Why did he sound almost normal for a second. Oh no that is him.

A singing telegram would be nice.

"So we never made it out?" ...in more ways than one.

Yeah. Rhea can't be here. She's not connected.

Called it.

...um. Who is THIS?

57 COPIES? Aries. Don't like her. Is that how it's spelled? Aires? Eres? Erase?

If it's in your heads she very much CAN hurt you.

And the temporal stuff is interesting. A story out of order. So technically...oh my gosh there are so many theories I can make out of this. But I gotta keep cleaning so I'll just let the episode play out.

The next room? When does this end?

Ah Hilbert. I was wondering where he was.

A week of time? TIME DIALATION?

Okay...if anyone has seen black mirror and saw my entry for Pryce on my post about Christmas music that reminds me of Wolf359 characters, you'll know that I already know that Hui is about to come out of this a scarred and desperate man. (some of you might already understand what I'm talking about...)

This is terrifying. Hui has to be horrified. Lovelace...oh and they're making Victoria ask for the clues, this is cruel. The speed up sound effects make it so much worse. It really is like Black Mirror.

Also... is this aging him? And a week of time...is that an earth week? We're talking about earth weeks right?

Took something from the person who killed them. Okay. Another clue.

Are you sure Selberg? If this is an old memory that Cutter is showing him, then I think he would be...unless this is different than what Hilbert experienced before.

"Everyone would have gotten spaced" ...right. Is there gonna be a big twist where they all got blown out the window on talent show night in season 1 and everything we're seeing is a simulation of their consciousness.

Ah the alien clones are here! Which means Cutter has known about them for a while.

They could also both be fake. Or both real, if they make an AI copy of his consciousness.

Additional medical exams? oh really getting into the questions now.

"I'm not Fischer" ... okay, but you have to have them both do it though...

...or not.

Okay so Fischer is the Australian one. But he could be fake too you should test him.

Good, asking them both questions. Smart. Good work Lambert.

I hate dark rooms too.

Change of Mind?

Sudden Death?

"If both of you press don't, you get to go up to the bridge"

IT'S THE PRISONERS DILEMMA ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE ALL MY FANDOMS CONNECTED?

Lovelace Do, Lambert Don't, delete all Lambert's memories of manual, brain rejects desire to read? Don't do it Lovelace. Don't do it.

Lovelace Don't, Lambert Do, all crew will think he's the commander.

Guys this should not be tempting.

Both press "Do" they get liquified.

Okay. So I was right about the dilemma. Eres shut up. Stop trying to liquify their brains! Now this is an AI I believe was created by Pryce and Cutter.

Oh she's making Lambert tell the truth. Lambert this is the part where you tell her it's okay to press do because you'll press don't. It's not worth it, throw in the towel. NOT TIMES UP!

Let's not be stupid.

Lambert: Don't. Good job Lambert. Thank you Lambert.

Lovelace: Don't. Good job Lovelace.

End of the game? Why do I not believe you?

End of the line? I don't like that. Why is Lovelace by herself? I don't like rooms that are just for one person. Those never go well.

Ah. The bridge. Is that Eres? She sounds young. Oh she's apologizing. Aw, she hoped they'd make it and was only programmed to hurt them. This is...so sad. Oh dear. A gun.

"You should fight this" "And what?" "This is what they made me for. This doesn't have to be sad."

"Just because someone made you something doesn't means that's all you're going to be" VERY true, both for the alien clones and the AI.

Oh great it's Cutter. Oh HE kills her. Why am I not surprised.

Another message? ✉️

"Training program might not be up to international law. By ripping up this paper, you are absolving us." I'd save that paper forever.

So the training program was wiped? Eres is gone.

Rhea: "It's just the way they programmed her, back off."

Oh poor Rhea 🥺

Aw Victoria is trying to cheer him up. I wonder what he does remember. A bad dream? Interesting.

That's nice, they're reading together. Not much time left in the episode. I wonder what's left.

So...wait. What was in the box when Doug went to open it? Was it the same machine? He said he heard a heartbeat.

At least Lambert and Lovelace seem to be getting along. Those kinds of experiences really do bring people together.

Ah more music. 🎶🎶🎶🎶

Cutter???

Why this day? Cutter you idiot. It's obvious. And she is going to mess you up someday Cutter. Dramatic irony cometh Cutter. Dramatic irony cometh.

Ah Doug is back! Kepler shut your mouth, I still need you to grab your redemption arc or drown in Whiskey. And you better make your choice quickly, because we only have one season left. Tik-tok errand boy, tik-tok.

Ready or not. Empty man cometh!

#bods wolf359 reactions #I hope you guys liked this! #wolf 359 #w359 #alexander hilbert #wolf 359 spoilers #doug eiffel #hera wolf 359 #wolf359 Hera #isabel lovelace #Wolf359 #wolf359 podcast #w359 podcast #wolf359 spoiilers #podcast wolf359 #podcast w359 #hera #Rhea wolf359 #wolf359 rhea #sam lambert #Mace Fisher #Victoire Fourier #Kuan Hui #marcus cutter #warren kepler #Eris wolf359 #Change of mind

[sailorgundam308]

okay but you're right about the petite tav thing (also idk if you know but someone's lame ass "callout" post about you being a bully and how you'll never get commissions is circulating)

like in a game where you can create nearly anything with a tav it's boring as fuck to make them look copy pasted of every conventional girl irl. ive always thought that, it's why I can't read certain super popular fics in this fandom because the tav absolutely rips me out of any enjoyment (cough, the arrangement)

but it's not fair for people to be harassing you over your opinion, it's your blog if they don't wanna make themselves upset maybe they shouldn't be lurking on your page

It's what I think. I have no interest, never had, in any media, when a protagonist is the pretty standard petite girl. It doesn't resonate with me at all and, therefore, they come across as very boring to me.

About the post circulating about me, I know about it. It was made by 2 girls who didn't like when I said I don't like pairing Astarion with the aforementioned pretty petite tav type. They then devolved into, apparently, some sort of Alex Jones, calling into question my values as a person, made up what I said and whatnot. They've been flooding me with hate messages for a while, stopping short only of telling me to kill myself. But then, of course, I'm the bully in the story. lol

It's very much their problem. Anyone following me, reading what I say, knows what I stand for - and what I don't, cause I tend to say it pretty clearly.

And I agree with you, too: tumblr is a collection of personal blogs of people with differing opinions. Unless someone is attacking or harming a real person, or being an actual bigot, it's all a matter of thinking differently about things. And that's not an issue.

You'd think people who claim to be so inclusive would understand that not everyone has to agree on things - and that you shouldn't dig the internet for content that will piss you off because you feel like going on a moral rampage for the sake of feeling superior. You WILL find content to make you angry. Thing is, some of that will be justified. Some, apparently, will just be me saying im not into X type of pairing.

Sound's pretty easy to do, but some folks are actually pretty incredible in regards to the amount of effort they'll put to go after someone they (don't know) but decided they dislike.

One of the girls saying she "took a screenshot" of what I said is from a discord I'm also a member of, and I think she got jealous cause I only posted Karlach x Astarion art and they shipped him with a different character. The other one is just a hardcore harasser. I got all their hate messages saved. Maybe one day I'll post it so people can see what kind low level stuff they said to me. It was WILD.

In any case. I never deleted the post where I said I think Astarion doesn't look good with pretty cutesy girly tavs cause I DO think that, and there's nothing wrong with me saying it. I'm not talking about any real person, nor even any tav in particular. But people like to distort shit to make waves then feel morally superior.

Thankfully, my commissions are doing great! I don't beg anyone to hire me, and as with everything else online, no one is forced to anything - commission me or even interact with my blog. There is a block function here and I use it often - it works wonders.

Anyway, thanks for saying that. Truly. This whole thing was pretty upsetting at first, but I soon realized there was no conversation to be had with thesef people - they don't want to talk. They want to tear someone they don't know apart to feel superior and "win".

It's nice to know not everyone bought into the gaslighting shit these two (and probably now more ppl) are spouting.

:)

#ask #anon ask #tumblr drama #bg3 toxic fandom #toxic tumblr users #online harassment #harassment #bg3

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I've come to ask something from you bc I kinda see you as a mom on Tumblr (and I mean that in the most respectful, honorable way) just bc your fics are top tier quality and I just think you're so fucking cool.

I'm a writer myself, I have over 1k followers (I know it's not much) my top post has almost 2k notes, I have more than I think 3 posts over 1k notes (not boasting this is genuinely with a purpose) but all my latest fics don't go over say like 200 notes. I've tried softer fics, more smutty fics, more thorough, less thorough, I've changed the way I write and still nothing gets me as many likes as I used to get before. So now I'm thinking I was just a one hit wonder?

I even stopped posting and only dropped fics every now and then bc I thought I was annoying people and that's why my likes dropped? But I gain like over 10 followers a day so I really don't understand.

Basically what I'm saying is, I've been considering leaving Tumblr bc of this, because I just feel like I've gotten too greedy and 200 notes isn't enough, I want more like I used to get. I've even become fearful of requests bc I constantly think is this one even gonna make it. I'm talking about spending 7 hours on a fic just for it to get like 50 likes, that's devastating and fucking heart wrecking. I have writers block because I just repeat to myself that it won't even make it so what's the point.

So I've come to ask for your advice, to ask if you think I should push through, or leave, or what should I do bc I just don't know anymore. I'm sorry for the lengthy message I've just been needing advice and I couldn't think of a better person to ask than you.

Thank you for taking the time 💕

not you calling me a mum and cool, pls skdjfskdfjhsfd i'm warm.

okay, first of, i'd like to say 1k followers is a lot ! at least in my perspective. when you imagine how 1k people look like in a room it's certainly a lot hahah. if it eases your mind, i'll tell you that our numbers are pretty similar, at least the ones you described.

with that being said... here's what i think, and it might not really be what you want to hear. mind you, this is 100% just my opinion, and how i personally view this hobby of writing fanfiction. other people might have different opinions to mine, yourself included, and that's fine...

if you're writing with numbers in mind, you'll never be satisfied with anything you do. whenever you set a target audience for your writing that isn't yourself, you start losing the joy. it all becomes a spiral of 'is this good enough?' 'what if this doesn't gather an XYZ amount of notes?' rather than what the story really is about.

notes never ever determine how good a story is. i've seen stories with notes around the five digits that i personally didn't find particularly enjoyable, whereas stories i absolutely adored and made me feel a plethora of emotions still sit within the three digits. it's all subjective, and also a bit of luck. sometimes all it takes is a blog with a moderately sized following to reblog your story on main for that story to blow up, really.

if you're writing solely for the validation that notes can bring you, that's valid, it's fine, but it's, in my opinion, something that is bound to make you question your own passion (like it seems to be happening to you right now). it's a completely volatile and unreliable source of energy, and the moment it starts wavering, it all feels worthless (even when it isn't).

which is why i, personally, write because i just... feel like it. i want to read the stories that pop up in my head, it's why i always mention the 'little lizard' in my brain, because i genuinely just work on what i want to work on and that's it. it's also why my creative process doesn't work for "requests". if someone requests something that doesn't immediately spark my interest, i won't be able to fulfil it, so i'll be both bummed out by that fact, and the fact that i can't give the person what they requested in the first place.

ultimately, i'll write stories even if i don't post them, because i enjoy them. i enjoy doing this. i choose to share them with the world, and if there's people out there that enjoy them, too, that's great, it's amazing! and if a story isn't particularly popular, that's okay, too. it was written for me, and i loved it, so i already feel accomplished.

all this to say, my advice to you is that you sit back and start thinking about why you're doing this.

writing takes time, takes energy, and if you're doing it for anything other than the pleasure of writing and reading the story yourself, it's gonna weigh heavily on you. creativity isn't something that can be forced. so, if you force yourself to write something just because of the numbers it might bring, you're already setting yourself for heartbreak when the engagement you receive isn't the one you expected (because it's never enough. when you spend hours working on something you feel like you deserve a million notes, and you do, but it's not how this platform works, unfortunately). you'll end up just resenting the hobby in general, and burning yourself out because you're forcing yourself to write even if you don't feel like it, just because you want to see the numbers grow.

whenever i feel too tired, too overwhelmed, and too insecure about my work, i try to take a step back and give myself grace. i went on hiatus a while ago because i was starting to obsess over the numbers too much, and that time away made me realise all the things i said above. numbers aren't a direct reflection of your work, nor your worthiness as a writer, you know?

i'm not sure if this will be helpful to you or not, i genuinely hope it is. just know that if you feel like it, my DMs are open if you want to talk about this further (:

#this is so fucking long i'm so sorry #anon #ask

[majorbaby]

you are literally trans. reblogging from a terf and agreeing with her definition of a women i have to laugh. by putting that post on your blog in what i assume is a queer space (for you) is infesting the waters of fandom tumblr with terf ideology. it doesnt matter if its "feminist" that post is not including trans women in it's definition of women. this is actually how terfs work they post innocuous "feminist" posts and that the majority of people will agree with and that will be reblogged onto tumblrs that are not terfs or terf adjacent and then onto feminist tumblrs that may agree but not be terfs and if they are lucky a big blog will reblog and then they will get followers it's how they recruit. they don't even hide that they do this, former terfs have posted and confessed this is what they do. it doesn't matter if you agree or not passing their posts around is contributing to poisoning the waters of fandom space and queer communities online. a disturbing amount of young queers online agree with terf ideology now because of this "i don't vet" "ops post don't reflect them" mentality. i seem to remember a time when queer tumblr blocked and removed terfs from their blogs and didn't give terfs a single inch on here because otherwise they will get see you reblogging terfs and see oh a terf let me follow. and suddenly you have a anti trans terf blog not a queer fandom blog. being accepting of all ideology also means being intolerant of hateful ideology as well. and i'm sorry to sound harsh. but if you ARE genuinely agreeing with terf ideology as elementary as that post was then you may have to take a few steps back and reassess why that is.

do you think if i reblog enough gifsets of trapper and hawkeye dancing together i can infest/poison the waters of fandom tumblr/queer communities online/young queer minds with visions of tender gay sex because i've been doing that like every single day for the past two years but there doesn't seem to a metric i can use to measure if i'm making a difference :(

like you, i consider this to be a distinct and achievable goal that i should be personally responsible for, especially if it's the case that i am literally trans as you say, so i'm going to take a few steps back and reassess how i can do better.

in all seriousness, i actually do not live in fear of being falsely labelled a terf or someone who condones the ever expanding collection of buzzwords and phrases that seem to qualify as "terf ideology" as defined by whoever is screaming the loudest at any particular moment.

i don't think you're sorry for shit, you're just parroting the same paranoid, hypothetical, presumptuous stuff being lobbed at anyone, trans or not, who doesn't performatively follow a set of arbitrary rules for online interaction that establishes them as being morally pure. it sure would be nice if we could only just think of the children and reliably cleanse "online queer communities" of transphobia just by doing that. but since you're of the belief that there was "a time when queer tumblr blocked and removed terfs from their blogs and didn't give terfs a single inch on here" and yet "anti trans terf blogs" have never gone away, then i have to wonder if your proposed solution actually does anything except make you feel like you've done something to tangibly combat transphobia.

#transphobia cw #replies #boring asks

[vivi-the-goblin]

People just don't seem to get that many of the "flaws" of tumblr are by design, sometimes OUR design, and the only thing keeping us safe. Tumblr is a community garden. The mods are half-conscious landlords that own the lot, stumbling around without much clue about what's going on or even who thier tenants are. WE made this place into what it is. We grew this site ourselves, planted every seed, maintained every plot. All the content was grown ourselves and shared via reblogs, they're the heart and marrow of this place. Reblogs aren't theft btw, as I've heard many confused by. To continue the metaphor, reblogs are like spreading fertilizer. You're definitely still contributing, it makes notes explode and motivates people, gives people the energy to keep creating. Reblogs start chains that can increase activity by orders of magnitude. Likes are private words of encouragement that only you and I see, they're quietly saying "good job" as you pass. I appreciate it, I truly do, they're like a cool glass of water that gives me energy to continue. If you wish to help the whole community without ever posting, a quick reblog on something you like seriously helps. Even without tags or additions, that's fine, it still greatly expands the lot we have to work in. We all follow blogs that're just "someone with similar tastes reblogging things," a good half of the people I follow are. That's all I was on my original blog for like 10 years before I started this, no shame. Oh, and I was serious about the maintenance bit as well. We've had bots spring up like weeds in the past and the only thing that ever kept them in check was community effort to block-report them. I mean "got 5 new followers every day even on brand new blogs" sort of bad, but we beat them down through group effort. So if you have no title or reblogs and are wondering why people block you after you follow, it's because people think you're either spam or a burner account about to start sending hate. Personally don't block until something actually happens, especially now that I'm aware many of you just showed up, but I did think that like half of you were bots at first. Chaning your title to anything, even just "not a bot" will fix that if it bothers you though. Or just reblog something. I see an account completely blank except like, a picture of a spinning lancer, I know they're just someone's personal sideblog. This is getting a bit rambly, but point is that the "flaws" people talk about are primarily by design and what we've fought to keep for 15 years. Yes our landlords wander around incompetently, but that's just as much OUR design. We don't want massive corporations paving this place over to make another shopping mall. We want to stay the quirky little farmer's market living off word-of-mouth, not be replaced by "more convenient" superstore of the algorithm. The work we put in makes this place the wonderful, terrible, irreplaceable treasure it is. Enabling our self-destructive staff, maintaining our community, and making sure we're bottom-of-the-barrel for advertisers is how we do that.

#It's like an apartment complex that unionized #then realized if we kept the landlords drunk they'll just let us do whatever #like we gotta make sure they're happy enough to not sell to the massive agency and mostly fix things ourselves #Because they're a bit puritan #but they're better than the hell that is corporate housing

[reviewinghiccup]

I'm in love with your blog. No one ever goes into this much detail about Riders of Berk or Defenders of Berk and it's long overdue. I'm not too good with words, so I'm really thankful you're able to explain so clearly what makes these shows amazing. Every post is so well written! Can't wait to read more 😊

Hey! Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.

I revisited this series, following a transition in my personal life, and felt like I needed some space for fun. I love reviewing shows / breaking down characters and when I latched back on to this series, I thought I would be alone in the fandom because, frankly, its a pretty old show.

ROB and DOB isn’t as easily available like RTTE on Netflix. And it was my brother’s subscription to HULU and PEACOCK that got me the chance to rewatch them. So, I thought, who else would wanna read or know about this show given the chance, yannow?

I do pour my heart and soul into writing, editing, framing the show into posts and I do feel a little exposed when I talk candidly. I think the HTTYD series speaks to me on a deeper level than just an adventure movie, and I trust it is the same for many of us. It means the world that many of you have been responding so kindly and encouragingly on this platform. We can never have too much of this type of positivity.

Hiccup is a lost boy in a forgotten age, Toothless is a totem of his courage. He is finding himself, in a world where he shouldn’t succeed (naturally), in a world that only wants to take from him, to take from anyone. A world greedy for power, influence and money. Similar to ours.

But Hiccup isn’t interested in that. Though a born leader, he comes into his purpose from the angle of kindness, and it is that angle that makes him such a great heir / chief to Berk. Berk is in a transition. They don’t need a large, strong Viking chief anymore. They need an innovator, a listener, an inventor. Someone smart. He is exactly what Berk needs for the future, the village is just beginning to know that.

The thing about ROB and DOB is, it is where it all started. It is a show portraying the incremental developments of Hiccup from boy to man. His temperament is still immature. His goals, a little superficial. But his heart, it grows larger and larger, because he is open to making mistakes and correcting them. Forgiving and moving on. Sure, it is about training dragons, but it is also about parenthood, friendships, family, relationships, responsibilities. Growth. To miss out on ROB and DOB is to miss out on a lot.

He becomes a strong leader of Dragon’s Edge because of his compassion. He becomes a man worthy of Astrid, because of the same. And that spoke to me, because for a long time, I wondered what the point was in being considered “the nice one”. For many years, I thought it was always weakness to be nice, because you get bullied for it / made fun of for it. But, I see now, that kindness is strength. And in time it will reap benefits. What kind? Too soon to say.

I get that this is a cartoon, it might just be for kids. But as a girl, in my early 20s, still growing, finding myself as I navigate through the cusps of adulthood, I am beginning to realise why we need nice people. I can see how this show relates to me, even if I am no longer the target audience it was created for. But having watched this as a kid, and then revisit it and finding different messages and take-aways can we consider this show timeless? Apt?

Be kind. There will be a few, those treasured few, who would pierce beyond the veil of our compassion and realise, that there is more to life than just gold, treasures, power and titles. It is all about community. And that is in essence, what Hiccup is, a man born to serve his community, the son of a chief. The impetus of change.

I believe that his father saw it, and that’s what lead him to say, at the end of DOB :

P/S : @hiccstridshipper19 thanks for reaching out. I bet if you ever wanted to write anything, you would do amazingly. Tag me, if you ever do any write-ups. I wasn’t too good w words too when I started other blogs, but w time and practice, I started to find my own rhythm and style. A writing voice takes time. I’m still very much honing my skills. One thing I’m working on is keeping things concise (which, as you can tell, am failing terribly at).

All my love to you. Take care.

[my-own-lilypad]

Just wanted to follow up on The Art of Selling Out not being a surprise to me. When it was announced he would star in A Rainy Day In New York I was shocked because even then there was enough negative information available about W.A. that non-celebrities could say, “Something is not right with that man.” Yes, he donated his salary afterwards but that was when I realized his ambition for fame was great. When the “dating” announcement broke earlier this year I realized more distance was needed; just admire his work but not follow his every move.

You don’t have to post but just wanted to add a bit more as you responded. Today was the first day I saw your blog and like what I have seen so far. Have a great day! 😎

That's ok, I don't mind follow ups! And thanks for the compliment. 

Yes, I agree - when I read about the drama around A Rainy Day in New York, I did start to wonder, why did Timmy get involved, it must have been purely for his own personal gain. Then I watched the film and I was not comfortable with the misogyny. Why would any young man claiming to represent people of all genders, colours, sexualities etc, an intelligent artist like him, ignore all of the old-fashioned sexism? Did he think it was funny? Did he think it wasn't gratuitous that the girl was naked by the end? Did he not see how that was some kind of perverted Chekhov's gun -like, here is a cute blonde - don't worry, by the end of the film you're gonna see her in her underwear, for no real reason. Not to mention the whole mother/hooker story line. I thought, Timmy must not have been thinking about the implications when he agreed to star in this rubbish. I passed it off - but part of me did wonder how far he was willing to go to further his career. Yes, he gave the money away, but it would have been better not to have starred in the film at all. Like, just don't support this shit. I don't know what he got out of being in a Woody Allen film but it must have been worth the drama. 

And now of course he is supporting Kylie Jenner - coming out to the public as being in a relationship with her is implicitly supporting everything she stands for, whether it's PR or true love. And not only did he come out as being in a relationship with her, it had to be a big media reveal - someone's filming, quick let me suck your face and grab your ass and then look smug at the camera. That flummoxed me. I was like - what is this shit? Grabbing a plastic model's ass in public? Groping her? - what are you THINKING? - how dare you normalise this shitty chauvinistic behaviour - you of all people!

That was when it fully dawned on me. No principles. Even if he's pressured into things, he's got a tongue in his head hasn't he? A brain in there too somewhere? Not a very intelligent lad in the end, as it turns out. But making a shitload of money, so that's ok then. 

The last part of your message about 'more distance is needed'. I agree, that is what I want and need now. I have loved and admired him (in a fandom way, you know 'fandom Timmy' not the real person obviously) for two years and I need to pull away because that person that I thought existed is not there. I mean, real-life relationships are hard enough to break away from, I don't need a fantasy one to be the same, lol!

If there is a film out that I want to see and he happens to be in it, then I will go and see it, but I'm not going to follow him the way I did. 

Anyway, enough of me rambling, but it did feel good to get all of that off my chest to someone who isn't blinded. Thank you for reading my blog, wish I could return the compliment. 🤓 Have a great day. ☺

[olderthannetfic]

Hello, I’m a very anxiouse proshipper and I’m looking for guidence I guess. For context in 2016, I was a part of the undertale fandom, and the popular problematic ships at the time where frans and fontcest. When drawing fontcest, I got a horiffic message in my inbox, going into detaile about ilr animal abuse related to some fontcest art I drew, and I’ve been turned off to being openly proship since. Throught the years I’ve been feeling very fucked up about calling myself proship, or making anything problematic. At one point I drew vrabbit (fnaf), and HCed him as a pedo cuz that’s the most obviouse vibes he gave off. I never drew him doing anything pedophilic, though I did draw him around his own (killed and robotociced) kids, and got a callout post made on my (that has now since been half deleted, I say half because it was initially a post made under a keep reading, and that og post is gone, but reblogs of the post remain). Recently Encanto came out, and the new ship there was an uncle and neice ship of bruno and mirabel, so of course I drew some art about it, but was scared to post it. And when I finally did, some people got upset at me, understandably so, but instead of ppl just blocking me and leaving, they would confront me directly, saying my art was now tainted, or that they hated me for “normalizing their abuse” (i’ve been abused too, I think, I don’t know if it counts as “real abuse” anymore because it was just sexual assult, and that feels like it’s the bottom of the barrel in comparason to someone being raped on the daily). But it sucks, because I’ve always been into this stuff, I don’t know why, I don’t know if I’m coping, I don’t know if something’s severely wronge with me, I asked my therapist once and they said so long as it’s art, it shouldn’t matter and it’s fine, but I feel like a shitty human being on a near constant basis when I start thinking about it. I’ve remade my blog like 2 times already, I’m wondering if I should do it again, this time just be more clear that I’m proship, or if I should just shut the hell up, because I don’t want more people coming to me about irl animal death. Like I don’t even take these ships all that seriously, I’m just some ace guy putting my kinks onto characters, I don’t care that characters are naked cuz a body that doesn’t arouse me on it’s own, and I want to be able to hc characters as something horrible ontop of how horrible they already are, like vrabbit was litterally murdering children, who’s to say he’s not some repressed pedo trying to counteract that shit with child murder instead? Idk, I don’t know if any of this was consistent, I just want to know if I should even be worrying about this shit or not, if I should start over again, or if I should just give up and forget the ritual of making art and posting it online in the hopes that someone sees it and thinks “ah, I vibe with that”. I’m just, tiered, man. Sorry to come to you with all this shit.

--

Nonnie, I think you need to talk to your therapist again.

Humans have all kinds of wacky fantasies. Nothing especially bad ever happened to me, and I was looking at snuff stories on the internet as a 13-year-old. Nothing you're into is unusual, and the way you're engaging with it sounds pretty mild and no big deal.

If you feel awful on a daily basis, that's about anxiety or self esteem or depression, not any realistic reaction to your art. Your therapist needs to hear how much you're struggling.

I don't think you need to use the word 'proship' if you don't feel like it. I no longer use it for myself because it's far too tame and watered down for my actual views.

Remake or don't, but turn off all anon asks or the equivalent on every platform. Accept DMs only from people you follow. Block early and often. Post your stuff, but make it very clear you have a zero tolerance policy for jackasses.