#except the shit he is trying to figure out

[apdreadful]

I’ve decided that from here forward I’m writing Tommy and Buck/Evan as long term canon. In the words of Buck himself “Who cares?!”

I get the feeling that Tommy is difficult to get really angry. Mostly based on his past. And his general roll with the punches attitude thus far. So I don’t foresee a lot of strife or fighting in his future with Buck. Except the first time Tommy experiences the after of that big marshmallow Evan Buckley doing something really dangerous and reckless..again.

And Tommy who never gets angry, who never shouts at Buck, who flew a helicopter into a goddamn hurricane in the middle of the ocean, really loses his shit this time because Buck cannot understand why Tommy is so upset that he dropped into a dangerous situation against orders AGAIN.

Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose to keep from shouting “Bobby told you not to go in. He told you not to risk it. That the floors were too unstable”

“There could have been someone left” Buck replies “Someone needed to check. It had to be me”

“Why? Because you’re fucking super human? The great Buck Buckley from the 118 who scoffs at danger, has survived a tsunami, getting trapped beneath a fire truck, throwing a blood clot, and was officially dead for three minutes after getting struck by FUCKING LIGHTNING!”

“How do you know about all of that?”

“That isn’t what matters”

“I think it is” Buck takes a step toward Tommy “Have you been stalking me babe?”

Noticing the mischievous smile Tommy shakes his head “Oh no no no. You are not going to adorable your way out of this”

Bucks shoulders sag and he sighs “I’m ok Tommy. Not even a scratch”

“I can see that” Tommy lets out a deep exhale “I understand the risks of the job. I’m not like your exes who would get all distraught over you removing a cat from a tree. But for fucks sake, you are worse than the EOD guys when I was in Afghanistan with the walking - or in your case running or jumping- right into the worst case scenario with no thought of your own safety” Rubbing his forehead he continues “Evan. You’ve got a savior complex and it’s noble and selfless..”

Buck cuts him off “It’s not a savior complex. I’m not stupid. I understand that sometimes no matter what you do you can’t save them. But sometimes maybe you can, and in those cases, I just make the most sense”

Tommy crosses his arms to keep from strangling him or kissing him stupid again to shut him up “How is that? How does you possibly dying make any sense?”

“They all have people that need them. They all have someone they belong to and..” he trails off with a small shrug

And Tommy hears the words he doesn’t say. He is…expendable. And just like that all of the anger drains out of Tommy to be replaced by a something else. “Evan” he says softly.

“I know” Buck interjects “I know that people love me and they would be sad, especially Maddie. And I don’t want to die. But I don’t want someone who has someone they need, and that needs them, to die either. I couldn’t live with that”

Tommy closes his eyes. This man..How can he be so adorable and selfless, yet so completely stubborn and a pain in the ass about his own safety?

Once he calms his thoughts and finds the words he wants to say, he opens his eyes to see Evan looking at him calmly. Like he expects Tommy to see the sense in what he said.

“Evan. I know we haven’t really put a label on this. On us. But that’s because I don’t want to pressure you. I’m the first man you’ve been with and you’re still figuring out who you are, and I understand that. But let me clarify something for you. I need you to come back to me. Ok?”

Buck blinks “Huh”

“I need you to come back to me” he repeats “Like Bobby needs Athena, and Karen needs Hen, and yes like Maddie needs Chimney.

“And Jee-un. Jee-yun needs her dad”

“Yes, and in that same vein, Christopher needs Eddie” he agrees, trying not to give in to his exasperation. “I need you. I am that person who needs you to come home Evan”

Evan stops whatever he was about to say. Startled awareness creeping into his eyes..Tommy sees a mix of emotions flit across his face. Surprise, joy, fear, everything just races across that expressive face and then Evan sinks onto the barstool at his kitchen island. His hands coming up to cover his face.

Tommy’s stomach clench’s. He pushed too hard, too soon “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I do care and want you to come home but..”

Buck looks up at him “Don’t you dare take that back”

“I’m not taking it back. I just don’t want to push you”

Something else crosses Evans face at that..but he tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth. “You aren’t pushing. You aren’t pressuring me. I am in this just as much as you. I just don’t know how to say what I want to say without it sounding lame and emo as shit”

“Did you just hear me? You can say anything to me Evan. Whatever it is”

Buck rolls his bottom lip between his teeth again. “I’ve never questioned why I do this…I mean it’s the whole reason I was born. To save my brother. To save Daniel. That’s what I do, that’s who I am. It’s why I became a firefighter. To be the one who saves people. The 118 is my family. And I would do anything to protect them from harm”

“I’m not asking you to stop. I would never ask that. I just want to remind you that you matter to a lot of people, and you also have someone who is waiting for you”

Bucks voice is thick “I know that. I get that. But…Nobody has ever. I have never belonged to anyone, like that”

In a sense of deja vu Tommy closes the short distance to Buck. Tipping his face up, he kisses him. Not soft and gentle like their first kiss in this kitchen. But bold and deep. Branding Evan with his mouth. Pulling back he says fiercely “You belong to me like that. For as long as you want..you belong to me and I belong to you, like that”

“I will ALWAYS need you to come back to me Evan”

#yes I called him both Evan and Buck #it makes situational sense in my head canon #yes this idea was part of my 3k word barf #but I’m breaking it up into bits #911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #buck x tommy #evan x tommy #911 spoilers #bucktommy #kinley #this ship will be canon goddamn it #wrote this on my phone

[tgmsunmontue]

Where do I know you from? 3/?

Hangster crackfic. There are too many Jakes and Bradleys for Jake and Bradley to be dealing with. Or the Universe is just as fed up with them being blind.

PART ONE PART TWO

PART THREE

                Rooster Nine arrives in chef whites, which he guesses answers the question of what he does for a job, although he’s getting asked a whole raft of questions by Three and Five.

                “What are you two writing down?”

                “Well, every Bradley here has a Jake in their Universe. I think we’re meant to find you yours.”

                “We don’t need to find him. I know where he is.”

                “You’ve met him already?”

                Jake stares at them both.

                “Considering you’re both meant to be super smart, you’re thick as bricks. I recognized you all,” Jake says, waving his hand at the accumulating Roosters, who seem to be arriving at an even faster rate. “Of course I’ve met him. I’ve saved his life. We see each other nearly every day.”

                Rooster Three and Five exchange looks.

                “And you’re not together with him?” Rooster Five asks, raising a skeptical eyebrow and of course he looks exactly like Rooster, but it’s not him and Jake scowls.

                “I think I’d know,” Jake snaps.

                “Maybe that’s why we’re here. To get them together. Me and my Jake had to swap bodies before we figured our shit out.”

                “It’s as good a theory as any,” Rooster Three concedes and Jake pulls a face.

                “I don’t need alternate versions of my… work colleague, trying to hook me up with him,” Jake says, and then wonders if that even made sense.

                “Bob would probably know.”

                Jake is about to ask why Bob would have any idea about this kind of thing but the door is swinging open and he knows it’s going to be yet another Rooster.

                “Oh wow… what is going on here. It’s like there’s a rip in time and space and only I can use it. This is super weird. Hey Jake…”

                The way he greets Jake and says Jake’s name is syrupy warm and a few of the other Roosters snort in amusement. Rooster Ten is stepping close and giving him a hug, brushing a kiss across his cheek and Jake pulls back.

                “What the fuck man. I don’t know you.”

                “Bet you want to though.”

                “No. Apparently his Bradley is just a work colleague.”

                Nearly every Rooster in the close vicinity scoffs and this many Bradshaw’s are really starting to get on his nerves. Rooster Ten rests his hands on his shoulders, massages them and as nice as it might feel Jake is not having it.

                “Get your hands off me.”

                Immediately Rooster Ten is backing away, hands up in easy supplication, although his eyebrow is quirked in that same challenging way Rooster has and he has to resist the urge to punch it off and he needs to calm down and deescalate the situation. He grits his teeth.

                “Surely your Jake wouldn’t want you, uh, touching another Jake.”

                “Oh, I know for a fact that he’d be more than okay with this. We have discussed this fantasy in detail.”

                Jake doesn’t even know how to begin addressing that, just turns toward Three and Five, because despite their nerding-out over the science they haven’t tried to hit on him. Other then Three giving him a wink, which compared to the other shit happening is completely benign. Still, Rooster Ten doesn’t seem too put-off, settles in the chair next to Jake and just watches, accepts the beer from Rooster Six.

                Rooster Ten went to USNA. He’s the first Rooster here who went to USNA and Jake wonders if that’s what makes him more confident. Except all of the Roosters are confident in their own ways. Of course, that’s when Rooster Eleven arrives, and he looks like he’s wearing body paint, he doesn’t have the same bulk as some of the others, but he’s still well muscled. Jake can tell under the body-paint-esque workout attire that Rooster Eleven is wearing.

                Rooster Ten reaches over and closes his jaw, dabs at the corner of Jake’s mouth with a napkin.

                “Just a work colleague huh?” Rooster Ten murmurs, and Jake gives him the finger.

                “What do you do?” Rooster Three asks the new arrival.

                “I’m a dance teacher. Are you documenting all this?”

                “For science,” Rooster Three and Five answer and Rooster Eleven just nods, shrugs his shoulders easily. He seems very relaxed.

                “And is Tom Kazansky alive or dead…”

                “Dead… what kind of question is that?”

                “We’re just trying to figure out all the potential pivot points of the timelines. So is Maverick with Penny in your Universe then?”

                “No. He’s with Beau.”

                “Who?”

                “Ah, Admiral Simpson.”

                Jake is glad he isn’t the only one spitting their drink out in surprise.

PART FOUR

#Hangster #Sereshaw #Top Gun Maverick fanfic #where do I know you from?

[void-thegod]

I call myself a loser. But that isn't what I really mean.

I mean I fail at what this world expects of people

And this world is sick. Full of sick people and sick ideas.

Of course, I am sick in my way. Insane with fighting for my own existence. For my own life

That's about as normal as I get, I'd say. Liking hot girls and anime, weightlifting. Looking like a model but being a genius who is a shut in..

Yes. I'm a loser.

Because this world isn't for me. And I'm not for it.

Edit: my life is actually good. Better than ever. But as long as the world is like this? How am I to be content?

#loser #trans #queer #weirdo #creep #hikikomori #shut in #wotaku ni koi wa muzukashii #otaku #if you saw me irl #youd get the wrong idea #everyone does #people still get the wrong idea #the most bad faith takes #instead of just: he is a guy #tryna figure shit out like everyone else #except the shit he is trying to figure out #is a little more complicated #society #democracy #anarchy #anti work #anti capitalism

[sp0o0kylights]

oho? I love playing with character perceptions, so number 11 got my immediate interest!

AND THE LAST ASK for real thank you for sending in so many and another thank you to anyone who sent in any ask at all this was a blast:

Turns out this connected to a different document. I desperately need to clean out my drive ANWAY

11! "A large part of the Steve Harrington lore was that he left his throne, his popularity, childhood best friends, behind for Nancy Wheeler. This was a lie."

Snippet:

A thump as the object rolled out of its bag and onto the floor.

It was a wooden baseball bat, same as one might find anywhere--with one noticeable difference.

"Steve." Eddie said simply, eyes raking over the haphazardly hammered nails, some of which were bent from use, "What the hell is this?" 

Steve at least, had the good graces to look abashed. "Ahhh…" He said, trailing off as he clearly fished for anything other than the truth and came up empty. "A nailbat?"

Spoken out loud it even sounded like a fucking fantasy weapon.

"Is that blood all over it?" Eddie asked, tone amazingly even given the panic that galloped wildly through his chest. 

The fucking thing wasn't entirely covered but there was unmistakable red and black splatter that was either the product of the world's best prop artist, or the real deal.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't think any of the blood is human." Steve said, who overall looked more embarrassed than anything.

Like Eddie has found his porno mags, and not whatever the hell this was. 

"No Steve, that does not make me feel better." Eddie managed to get out, the words a little strangled. "You don't think the blood's human? What the hell do you think it is!?"

Because he had to know. There was no way he could not know, with a literal McGuffin, sitting in between them.  

In fact this entire set up felt like something right of of a D&D scene and once Eddie was done panicking, he kinda wanted to write down a few notes. 

There was a very long, dedicated pause, where once again it became very clear Steve was racking his brain for a lie. 

Eddie let it go on, because he wanted to hear what possible excuse the guy could come up for this. 

Particularly given that Eddie had once shared an English class with him. Steve Harrington was about as imaginative as a child's first chapter book (and frankly, the book probably knew more words.)

"Rabid dogs?" Steve said, sounding more like he was guessing than anything else.  

How he had gotten away with lying to the cops about those house parties of his was a downright mystery.

"Rabid dogs that just might be human." Eddie deadpanned. 

Steve winced.

"I might have swung it at a few people." He admitted.

"No shit." Eddie said, staring at him flatly. It almost felt like he was two people for a moment--a perfectly calm one, demanding answers out of a nervous and clearly spooked Steve Harrington like disappointed mother discovering a baggie of weed--and a person who wanted to fucking book it, immediately.

Before Harrington lost his shit and started swinging the nailbat at him. 

There was no reason for King Steve, richest boy in town and previously its most popular (though given Hargroves penchant for violence, Eddie didn't doubt a lot of people would accept Steve back with open arms so long as the guy stood in between them) to own a clearly used homemade weapon. 

"Okay look, you've caught me in a lot of lies and I'm gonna be real with you, this one came with an NDA." Steve said finally, like that wasn't a wild string of words. "The less you know about it, the better."

And that, Eddie could agree with.

#Eddie: whatcha got there Steve? #Steve #holding a bloody af nailbat #“uhhhh....a smoothie?” #I finally recalled that this one involves Eddie tripping over Steve in a number of weird situations #sort of in the same manner billy tips over him in S2 at the byers house #and just constantly jumps to conclusions #except you know steve has a TBI #multiple concussions #is trying to figure out who he is #and navigate Eddie trying to peg him back into the King Steve persona #while shits happening lol

[biillys]

billiestevies: the question was “why does billy hate lucas so much?” - i think that really probably answers your question in more of a back-story sense, of why was he the way he was. because - his dad.

dacre @ stranger con, chicago (9th oct 22) bonus:

#!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #dacre: billy was SUFFERING okay billy was TRYING he was hurting he was sensitive he was FRAGILE he was scared he was a KID #and he was doing the BEST he COULD. #because he has a piece of SHIT for a FATHER and no fukcing MOTHER. #except dacre put it like. super eloquently. bless #dacremontgomeryedit #dacre montgomery #billy hargrove #camaro 67 #'torments billy everyday' neil hargrove i am killing u repeatedly every minute of every day #the WAY he says 'That PERSON is his father' like dacre is BEGGING ppl to fucking understand #the way billy is!!!!! is not billy!!!! its his FATHER!!!!! because he was raising with that upbringing!!!!!! #and he had to weather it!!!!! and survive it!!!!! and sometimes enduring is turning yourself into someone that you yourself dont recognise #just to survive!!!!! so that when you make it out the other side!!!!! you can finally grow!!! #and heal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and to figure out who you are!!!!! without that weight crushing you alive!!!!!!!!! #dacre: billy was sensitive and i tried to show that through my portrayal #all of us crying and screaming and scratching and biting and throwing up: we know this and we love you so much #m #gifs

[suffarustuffaru]

rating some rezero ships by um. how good they could cover up murder together

(feel free to read my tags for some explanations T^T)

#rezero #um. given the Various Moral Codes of these characters i figured this would be interesting to give my shot at..... and YES garf shaula and #cecilus are too fucking obvious HAH #not otto being in every single Success tier... except for the selling each other out / revenge one. yeah. yeah hes a bitch alright. #ok but i put rein/emilia there bc... ok i know their energy kinda similar to reinjulius but like i put rein/emilia there bc i feel like #theyd be like OH GOD OH GOD WE JUST DID THAT ON ACCIDENT OH MY GOD IF THIS GETS OUT THISLL BE BAD FOR ALL OUR LOVED ONES like theyd be #panicking and shit #while reinjuli would be like hahaha i am SO NOT OK but we gotta take accountability :((((( #ottosuba is like. literally not even a question that theyre all the way up there. theyd like pull similar shit to sunny and basil from omori #like theyd try to take their secret to the grave and theyd never be functional with each other ever again and then theyd go insane over what #theyve done. either that or theyd just murder some totally evil guy with basically next to zero regrets. otto was already the getaway driver #while subaru was killing petelgeuse in the back LMAO #i feel like with felix itd be like. if theres NO OTHER CHOICE hes gonna whip up reinhard and julius into shape and get them to actually do #it. we saw how he was when subaru was possessed by petelgeuse T^T #emilia rem are put that low bc i feel like theyd have no braincells to use to get out of this and of Course emilias freaking the fuck out so #i feel like whenever otto is paired with someone who has like More doubts and guilt and Panic about it otto would be like GET YOUR SHIT #TOGETHER WE HAVE TO DO THIS. which i feel is also what ram does with certain pairs. #damn... now i want fic where some random pair is trying to cover up murder for whatever reason... #i nearly put garf mimi higher up bc i feel like mimi Could and Perhaps Has gotten away with murder before already. but garf would be TOO #OBVIOUS.... #rip mimi. ur a queen for being such a gaslight gatekeep girlboss.

[dutybcrne]

Honestly, I love imagining that Kae behind the bar would make cocktails a la TipsyBartender as a bit, but then get genuinely invested in what limits he could push his own ( and especially Venti's ) alcohol tolerance and what flavors he could end up mixing up. That menu, however, is off-limits for everyone except himself, Venti, Albedo, and Dainsleif.

#//Or sb like an adeptus or Archon; for instance. But Kae'd be going on instinct/vibes alone to clock 'em #//Or any other being he figures is like them who could have a supernatural/extreme alcohol tolerance #//And then test them with a Creation once he's sure & they ask for one. I smile; thinking of what FACES Xiao would make jdfbgfg #☆ ┆ ( .ooc. ); #hc; kaeya #//Kae being given full reins of the bar like AIGHT; LET'S MAKE A DRINK WITH THE MOST UNHINGED OF ALCOHOL MIXES & UNHOLY OF FLAVORS #//It's like when you made 'magic potions' as a kid; except now he can make his ideal BOOZE. And NO ONE CAN STOP HIM #//Except if Luc suddenly senses a Disturbance in the Force & HIGHTAILS IT TO ANGEL SHARE (Charles in near tears sent for him to stop Kae) #//Near every concoction; Kae ends up spitting the drinks tf out half the time bc sometimes it BURNS and sometimes it tastes GOD AWFUL #//To which he would IMMEDIATELY challenge Venti to a drink off and see who chickens tf out first kdjbgf #//Dude rolls up after coming back from Sumeru w some shit like the Purple Dragon drink or smth #//Charles can only look on in horror as Kae ASSASINATES his own tastebuds & that of any unfortunate victim he ropes into trying it jdfbfg #//He got Luc to try smth he made ONCE; and the man ended up passed out IMMEDIATELY #//Due to the alcohol or how utterly ABHORRENT the taste was; Kae still does not know #//He looks back on it and LAUGHS; bc of Luc's reaction every time he brings it up; but in the moment DEFFO panicked; thinking he killed him #//Mans can be & IS a spectacular bartender; second to none (read: Diluc). But BOY OH BOY; can he be unhinged with it when he gets the Urge

[july-19th-club]

how to make a character who sucks so bad and nobody likes him but he is genuinely a good protagonist (good as in interesting, maybe on a rare day good as in decent but also, just like, an incredible jackass) . i need to make him worse i need to make him MEANER!

#i think the key to getting this kind of character right is that he can't try to be anybody's boss #that's not the fun and engaging kind of jackass that's just reminding the reader of all the bosses they've hated in their time #the engaging and likeable Guy Who Sucks So Bad is a loner who might CLAIM that he will take over the group or whatever and lead #but never actually has any intentions of doing so because part of the things he sucks re: is responsibility of any kind #he does however know that leaders dont like other people horning in on their territory so he will say things like #i'm gonna wreck your shit and then all your lackeys will follow ME! ouahahahahaha . despite having zero plans to follow up with that #the ideal engaging asshole protagonist is a rebel without a good cause: maybe he has a sad backstory; maybe he's just a dick #but if there's one thing about him you can count on it's that he is Opposed To Shit. doesnt matter what it is his primary entertainment #is picking a fight with it for no reason and then saying what the fuck ever i didn't care about it anyway (he didn't) #ideally this is all done in such a way that he is SEXY . but you'd never want to hang with him because he is deeply obnoxious #he is not bossy. he is not controlling. he is maybe even a bit of a wife guy except he hates everyone else and wants to make their day wors #because making someone else's day worse makes HIS day better . the ideal wife for him is the one from ordinary day with peanuts #by shirley jackson #and i have GOT to figure out a way to engineer this guy without copying examples of my favorite versions of him wholesale #i have the scaffolding. but because of my own confrontation-averse tendencies #im terribly concerned that i will never be able to actually make him the asshole he was born to be #q

[botseeksbot]

#images that are for me and lucy #i need the women to be more relevant . i need my woman back and not written out like shit . #thoughts -> #i think she should straight up just be osi still/again (maybe temporarily quit for a bit) #assigned during s4 bc fuck hatred #she wants the boys to have a more normal life -> D is drawn to that -> thats what begins the divide between the boys not whatever s7 was #<- not to say they wouldnt get along during then its just when they start being less together #and i think that would allow more stuff w H + R especially seeing how much H values TV + his dad's approval in general #god theres just so much lacking w H + R in general like their dynamic is so tossed aside its just jokes and uncaring #like the hospital talk in s7 could have been something but it wasnt . i just really like H's relationship w his dad #theres just so much potential w it thats not there #B should have the same rivalry he had s SgtH except better this time and not just for one ep #i think they should be at each others throats whenever they see each other bc they have such different expectations from the boys #and the family in general #very much tries to be a mother figure to the boys which H rejects (like how he started w SgtH) and D has complicated feelings abt it #i think she goes back and forth abt hating R because she hates that their clones but is happy theyre alive but hates that theyre trapped #in the life they have and wants to try to make it more normal #but they would start going on adventures again (which freaks B out) because god damn . i miss their adventures #which ik isnt 'normal' but i think she would also have a different view on 'normal' being osi #basically i need my woman back . bring her back . for me #i think her being around would also push the want for finding their 'real' mom more than like . the reasoning in the movie or whatever #actually im gonna toot my own horn . her presence would just make things work better irt family dynamic stuff #vs whatever the hell happened in s4 and s7 . #anyway . bring her back . im about to rewrite so much stuff for the ladies but god damn she is my woman #<- already did NF . now its her time #my art #okay good bye i wrote a novel

[oc-cinematic-universe]

i LOOOVE thinking about fantasy disabilities!!!! i love figuring out what people would have to do to accommodate them! it's literally awesome!

#fun after-comic joe facts time yayyy so joe's soul got a little bit fucked up #its just this small crack. which makes him entirely unresponsive to anything for like 5 minutes max #at seemingly random intervals. it slows down and doesnt last as long as it heals but its still like #not good lol #and its just gonna keep happening the rest of his life because souls fuckin heal weird #its one of many problems disorders he has to deal with this ones just special because doctors have #NO clue what to do with him so he and his friends just gotta figure out how to cope with it themselves #after a while he can kinda tell when its about to happen a few seconds before it does #so because he's rarely left alone anyways because he. cant take care of himself much anymore #he can give them a warning and they will make sure nothing dangerous will come from it and just wait for him to come to #as it heals and becomes less of a problem it kinda becomes more of a problem ironically #he does reach a point where he can mostly handle himself. but he cant do shit when that happens #except try to sit down asap. so while it happens less often it causes More Incidents. alas #i think kiara's way of dealing with it happening in particular is so silly #cause she just. grew up with him like this. this is just normal to her she's never questioned it #like oh ok dad's blanked out again i will just wait so patiently for it to be done so i can keep showing him #my mlp toys and explaining mlp lore to him #it happens and she just stops what she's doing and waits for him then continues as if nothing happened #everyone else gets so fussy about him when it happens but kiaras just #are you done? ok so pinkie pie is the laughter pony #he thinks its awesome he loves her so much

[woodchipp]

"He is literally not included in their manifested happy memories because he is outside the frame."

the lol. the lmao. the rofl

"he is not included in their manifested happy memories" my sibling in Christ one of said manifested happy memories is literally his birthday party

#omori 'analyses' being easily disproven by a single cursory glance at the game itself continues to be some of the funniest shit ever #'omg he's Outside of the Frame.....' yes congratulations you've figured out how photographing people works #also what is it with omori fans and trying to find Deep Symbolism even when there's none #this fandom is like silent hill theorists except on crack lmfao #omori #omori game #omori basil #omori fandom

[jonahfagnus]

in other news im thinking about my (very very vague) portal jonelias au again

#jon as glados elias as chell #jon trying oh so very hard to be human and telling himself its because elias' test scores improve when he does #elias splorin the rest of the facility during his downtime #jon getting robot separation anxiety over not being able to see his (most beloved) best test subject #jon pretends the facility is still functional and the scientists are just doing other things but elias knows the truth #elias is just trying to find his robot boy so they can talk #and so he can kiss jon ofc #i also have some vague thoughts about. okay so #in portal 2 its revealed that successful tests are coded to be enjoyable or euphoric to the bot in charge of the facility #except that it lessens with each successful test and theyll slowly start to go mad trying to figure out how to get it back #glados ofc manages to (mainly) keep her cool even w/o this and jon does too obviously #but i have some thoughts about elias like. altering jon's code #im not entirely sure how elias ended up in the facility in the first place but im probably going to give him engineering / programming #skills (probably both) #so that he can alter jons body or his code #(mainly so that i can circumvent all of the fucked up shit but also for sex purposes) #elias: hey can i take a look at your code i wanna get rid of some of your limitations #jon: i think i hauve covid #also thinking about the eroticism of the machine. jon being able to feel everything that happens in the facility #(in the parts of the facility he can reach anyway) #he can feel elias fixing faulty wiring he can feel elias moving through the halls #he can feel elias touching panels etc etc #i imagine jon would be very much like 'im physically incapable of feeling affection for test subjects i am not defective im not broken #its fine' #rlly strugglign to grapple w/ his purpose as an unfeeling inhuman machine and the human parts of him that want to be expressed

[itsredpaint]

✌️

#Tbd #Au where everything is the same except Joker missed every opportunity to be the main character #First meeting with ryuji? Missed that. Forgot his phone and got a train later than his original one #Getting accidentally sucked into kamoshidas palace? Sorry he got lost around the train station #Getting accidentally sucked in by ryuji and Ann? #Nah he's stuck in the library trying to convince the librarian to let him borrow a copy of arsene lupin #Joker is just a Normal guy but he's somehow always in the vicinity whenever the thieves do something plot wise #He just dogdes being INTO the plot tho #Idk I thought it was funny for Joker to dodge every opportunity to being the protag #Meta nav? Sorry bro his phone broke like halfway through april #Yaldy is getting so sick of his shit #It'd be funnier if he still meets akechi and akechi is still suspicious of him #Bc Joker just SAYS things and akechi doesn't know if it's cus he's a phantom thief #Or it's just. A HUGE coincidence. #Akechi cannot for the life of him figure it out #It doesn't help that he's always there somehow when the thieves operate #Like Joker is outside untouchables looking at the display from outside #while the thieves are scrambling in thr background trying to look for the yakuza guys name #And Joker still knows the thieves he's kinda friends with them #He sits behind Ann after all and he sometimes help her give answers if he gets to pet her cat #He knows ryuji cus off Ann and ryuji still makes him run #Yusuke gave him the Ann treatment and asked him to be his model #He met Makoto in the library where he was once again gently arguing with the librarian to let him borrow a book #He met futaba bc of sojiro. Still little sister #Haru with her gardening in the rooftop #It'd be so funny if akechi is like I know you're the leader of the phantom thieves #And Joker is like. ?????? What. #'kurusu don't play dumb I have all the evidence.' #'??? I literally have no idea what ur talking about???' #fish akeshu aus

[freebooter4ever]

You know what the best part about yesterday's adventure was? Even though it absolutely was an exclusive thing not available to the public - and a bunch of people on my insta are coming out of the woodwork like 'how did YOU get a tour with the LEGEND? (disbelief heavily implied)' - the vibe of the entire day was a group of friends chatting and joking and remarking on the history of the place we were visiting. And it wasnt a one time thing, we all volunteer together, im going to see them again on monday. And its just FUN! ^_^ i love it!

#Journal shit #Btw my answer to the asshole from my old company who couldnt believe that someone lowly like me got to talk to this legend? #I didnt bite at the bait i didnt say anything except: 'he's a friend! :)' #One fun story that i dont think the host would mind me sharing #He is almost as popular as jeff - jeff is the easy to approach not intimidating guy #The Legend guy is a little more intimidating #anyway we stopped at a coffee shop on the lot and The Legend got held up taking photos and signing autographs because #Every person working behind the counter at the coffee shop wanted one it was geat :) #And then when he was done with the photos and chatting with them he came back over and actually apologized to us #He was like im sorry you didnt come to this to do nothing but see star*bucks and then complained a little that security is more strict now #So he cant even really get us into the good places #And all of us were like are you kidding we are HERE and talking to you we would be happy with just the star*bucks all day lollll #He's very humble almost too humble one thing i noticed was that there were a lot of stories about other people in history #but not a lot of stories about him and i kept trying to figure out polite ways of working my more personal art questions into conversation

[loverboybrightsideghost]

3, 20, 25?

3- Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

it's Queen, and okay yes everyone knows queen, but i feel like this year i actually listened and particularly appreciated them more. i have the LP of a night at the opera and every single song on that album is imprinted in my soul it's sooooo good. i got another queen record recently so >:)))) i plan to one day get them all, or at least all the ones i like (which is probably gonna be all of them anyways lol)

20- what's something you learned this year?

someone told me this a few years ago, but this year especially is when it really sunk in for me: if you think you're really good at something (like in a hubris-y way specifically), you're not as good as you think you are, and if you think you're really bad at something, you're not as bad as you think you are. 

i also learned from antigone funn and bijou from wooden overcoats that "you're out there, being you, in front of other people!" "that matters to you?" that matters. your heroes may seem perfect and graceful and put together, but they're people just like you and just like you, they get nervous and have their own insecurities. you are your own worse critic, and that also applies to the "best of the best" too. and here's the thing, no matter how good or bad ANYONE thinks they are at their craft, it matters to somebody out there. maybe it's just you, and maybe it's someone in a crowd you'll never meet, or maybe it's someone long long after you're dead. but what we do matters.

25- did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? describe one.

sadly i did not :/ i can tell you a bit about my oc renata though (in the tags)

#behold an ask! #IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME LIKE A WEEK TO ANSWER THIS #prapuna #okay so my oc renata basically spawned bc one day i was like what if immense romantic tragedy #so the general gist of their story is: once upon a time there was this mercenary (who had a lot of magical power) and they were hired to #infiltrate a kingdom and so they got hired as a guard to the princess #but whoops after a WHILE of being near the princess the two of them fell in love and it's really cute but sad #because the princess is being married off to this guy #and so the night before the wedding renata (mercenary) and zarita (the princess) are trying to figure out what to do #and they fight and they don't really come to a solution #zarita talks to the guy she's being married to and they do try to work something out #but the next morning he's found dead- murdered #renata got desperate and killed him #so now. whoops but it gets WORSE bc this guy was like a Chosen One by the gods #he was destined to do Something that changed the course of humanity but renata somehow for in the way of fate?? and fucking killed him #and the gods are PISSED #since his death is technically renata and zarita's fault the gods punish them to eternal rebirth #and renata is cursed to remember everything perfectly #EVERYTHING from that point forward EXCEPT her original life #that is normal memory which means over time it fades and changes and all the shit that happens to memories when time passes #and as they go through the years renata's power (which was already considerable) grows and grows #and eventually they really fucking lose their mind solipsism-style #and they become corrupted and do murder and shit and zarita may not remmeber but they always love renata #inexplicably. even though sometimes renata is a horrible fucking person they still see the good in them and the positive qualities #that made them fall in love in the first place #oh yeah and as soon as zarita Remembers renata and their whole history they're doomed to a tragic death #yeah. can you tell i was deep in quarantine when i came up with them. anyways #they (renata) weren't inspired by scarlet witch but their magic IS red and i always liked the concept of scarlet witch from the comics #losing her mind and her grasp on reality #but i only realized the similarities after i made them lolol

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

i am also remembering my aizen au where that og persona of his was legit and he doesnt betray soul society

#bleachposting #that was another thing that i didnt flesh out super well but it was a space i really enjoyed dicking around in #mostly bc it just made me laugh comparing him to canon aizen lmao #like i think it was like. i was still trying to figure out how the vizard incident wouldve happened. #if he wasnt legitimately trying to use the hogyoku to fuck with people like that. like he really was trying to be on the up-and-up with it #most of my focus was on how his treatment of the arrancar would be different #most notably his relationship with starrk where its like #he comes across starrk and lilynette and promises to help them find friends like them. except taken more seriously i guess? and not just as #a manipulation lmfao #like i guess he could still be kicked out of soul society for wanting to help them? idk #its an au that would change a LOT of shit around and its messy to sort it all out #esp with how many different ways it could go #but i enjoy it nontheless #i have some old art about it i wonder if i can find it on my blog still