#faolan blackwood

[faofinn]

6. Sick and Injured

His body was on fire, sirens and shouts and flashes of bright light overwhelming him. Everything merging into just too much. He couldn't do it, couldn't hold on, so he let go, the sudden snap of relief just welcome blackness. There was no fight against whatever was holding him down, forcing each breath down his throat. He was dying, he was sure of it, and he was just so exhausted. It wasn't giving up. or giving in, it would just be a rest, just a break. 

"Everyone ready? Yeah, Okay. This is Finn, he's 22 and has quite the extensive medical history. He was found by a member of the public on the side of the road, confused and combative. When we arrived, he was in and out but very agitated. Apparently witnessed falling over a few times, initially query intox, but has a medic-alert bracelet on his backpack - He's known epileptic from a TBI, with EDS, POTS, chronic pain, fatigue and a few other mental health conditions. 

"When he's fallen, he seems to have hit his head multiple times, he's got two reasonable sized lacs to the left side of his head, and one across his eyebrow. No boggy masses, but cheekbone feels deformed. Obvious dislocation, possible break to left shoulder / collar bone, looks pretty unstable at the minute.

"He is cannulated and tolerating an OP at the moment. He had a possible 30 second seizure as we moved to the ambulance, and he's gone a lot more vacant in the last three minutes or so.

"He's got a temp of 38.6, tachy at 126, hypotensive 98/76. bm of 6.2. Sats have been 92 on air, came up to 96 on 15L. Reduced air entry globally, nothing being shifted on the right base, sounds very congested and crackly there. We've got NOK details from his alert card, so can give them a call while you guys get him sorted, if there's nothing else you need from us?"

When Sheila had called Fao in the middle of the night to say his brother had disappeared, he had to admit it hadn’t quite been what he’d expected. He’d known Finn was struggling with a chest infection of some description, and they’d been worried about seizures, and so he expected the call to be from his mum saying they’d had to go to A&E. 

He’d been sitting up with a cup of tea, just in case Finn turned up at his place, when his phone rang again, showing as No Caller ID. He snatched it up, immediately hitting answer. 

“Hello?”

"Hi, is that, uh, Faolan?"

He winced. “Yeah, that’s me.”

"In just ringing about your brother, a Finn Daniels?"

He sighed. “What’s happened?”

"He's been brought into the ED, he's…he's quite unwell at the moment. It might be best if you were able to come in?"

“Has he had a seizure?” Fao asked, glad he was already dressed. “I’m on my way in.”

"I think it's best if we explain in person."

Oh, fuck. That didn’t bode well, and Fao felt a cold fear run through him. “George’s? I’ll be there in ten.”

"Yeah. Did you want to let the family know? Or would you rather I called them?"

“I’ll call them.”

"Thank you."

“Thanks for calling me.” Fao murmured. 

"I'm sorry it's not good news. Be safe getting in."

“Mm, thanks.” Fao said softly, before he put the phone down. He drained his mug, shoved his shoes on and grabbed his stuff before he woke Ollie to tell him he was going and he didn’t know when he’d be back. The drive to hospital was quick, Fao definitely not speeding. He called Sheila on the way, explaining what little knew, and soon he’d found somewhere to park and rushed into the hospital. 

Finn had continued to swing between agitated and not, the staff only growing more concerned. He'd been sedated slightly, mainly just to get him through CT, but they'd still yet to get a coherent response from him. Even the mention of Fao coming to see him didn’t seem to break through, Finn staring blankly through them. 

When Fao finally got to the reception desk, he felt like he was going to lose his mind. He hated not knowing anything, whoever he’d spoken to on the phone so vague and unhelpful. Yes, he appreciated things were best discussed in person, but an idea was helpful. He didn’t even know if this was a seizure, though with what Sheila had told him it was somewhat likely. 

They took him through, but he wasn’t allowed straight into resus, instead shown the relatives room to wait. He paced up and down like a caged tiger, his hair a mess from how many times he’d run his fingers through it, though it fell in his face all the same. 

There was a sharp knock on the door, all too clinical and harsh for the situation. "Hi, is it Fao?"

Fao stopped pacing. “Yeah. What’s going on? Nobody’s told me anything.”

"Sorry about that, do you want to have a seat?"

“Is he alive?” Fao barely dared to ask the question. 

They softened, giving him a small smile. "He is, he's currently in our resus bit. He's very not well at the minute, and we're waiting to get him stable enough to take up to ICU."

That wasn’t unusual for Finn, as awful as that was. His shoulders slumped with relief that his brother was still alive, and he scanned the doctor’s face to try and work out what was going on. “Was it a seizure? He’s had an infection brewing and that always sets him off, are we talking status? If you’re waiting on ICU I’m assuming he’s been tubed? Have you spoken with his consultant? I think he was looking at trying to arrange an admission anyway.”

"We're not entirely sure what's been going on. He was picked up at the roadside, by the sounds of it he'd fallen quite a few times. He's got some pretty significant head injuries at the moment. We've not intubated him yet, no, but it's looking likely that's the way it's heading. He's currently just about managing with some extra support, but it's…he's got a significant chest infection, pneumonia, and we're not sure if the falls he's had has made it worse, but his lungs aren't working as they should be." He sighed. "We've not been able to really have a chat with him at all, he's been very agitated and quite combative, so we've sedated him a little bit, for his safety. He currently has a little piece of plastic in his mouth, just to help him keep his airways open. It's not the most comfortable for him, but he needs it with the medications and the stuff going on."

Evidently this was going to be a long conversation, and Fao was sore from the sheer amount of pacing he’d been doing. He sat down, nodding. “Alright. I got a call off my mum about an hour ago saying he’d gone missing and was he at mine.” He murmured. “Has he had a CT for the head injuries? He can be really agitated and combative especially when he’s feeling overwhelmed. He doesn’t like to be touched, he doesn’t like a lot of people around him, especially after a seizure. I’m happy to give you any social or medical history that would help you out. He really hates things on his face, it’s a struggle to keep oxygen on him when he’s postictal, he’s a nightmare. He doesn’t always tolerate the OP well as he comes around so you’re best keeping him sedated a bit. He’s well known to ICU, his seizures unfortunately often lead to him in status and needing to be intubated.” He wasn’t trying to tell this doctor how to do their job, but it was hard when this was his little brother. 

"That's very helpful to know, thank you." They said, and meant it. "We're just currently waiting on the CT report, so we'll be able to give you a bit more insight then. Unfortunately his agitation has been pretty constant, even when left alone. And, with the infection, he needs to be on the oxygen, he's not managing without it at the moment."

“Yeah, I appreciate that.” Fao said. “He’s epileptic from a tbi as a ten year old, he always really struggles with his seizures when he picks up infections, and he’s been through some difficult personal stress in the last six months or so as well as some meds changes which have also made his seizures more difficult to control.”

"Of course. You can come and sit with him, if you'd like? I will warn you he does have quite a few injuries, he might not look quite like himself. 

“Nothing I can’t handle, I’m sure. I was with him when he had his initial TBI.” Fao said, standing up. “I’d like to see him.”

"I can't imagine how difficult that must have been."

“Makes Afghanistan look like a walk in the park.”

"Did you serve?"

He nodded. “Four tours, medical corps.”

"Wow, that's a lot."

“Yeah. Can I see my brother now?”

"Of course. Can i get you a cup of tea? Coffee?"

“I’m fine, thanks.” 

"Alright, just let me know. I'll let you though."

“Thanks.” Fao said, following him through into Resus. It was busy as always, though it was familiar to him now. His eyes flicked over to the bays, trying to find his brother’s. He hated this, being on the back foot with him. As much as moving out had been so much better for his mental health, it had its challenges too. 

Finn was crowded with doctors and nurses, poking and prodding at him. Unlike normal, he was too still, too quiet. While they'd obviously tried to clean the blood from his head injuries, each period of agitation had quickly opened them back up. His shoulder was almost in a sling, though it was clear he'd fought against that not so long ago. 

Fao’s eyes flicked critically over the monitors, trying to gauge where Finn was at. Not great. He took a moment at the foot of the bed, watching them work. Finn really didn’t seem like Finn, though at least he wasn’t fighting them in that moment. He fiddled with the lighter in his pocket,something to keep his hands busy. He’d instinctively reached for his tags, but they weren’t there any more, and he needed something to do. 

One of the nurses caught sight of Fao in her peripheral. "Hi, you must be Finn’s brother?"

Fao nodded. “Yeah. Sorry to linger, I didn’t want to interrupt you all.”

"No, no, of course not. Come on, you can come say hi to him."

Fao pushed through to come along side his brother, a stark contrast to how he usually was at work. They’d not recognised him yet, but he hadn’t been there long, and he was likely just another faceless surgeon when he was down there. He gently reached out to take Finn’s hand, cautious of a reaction from him. 

“Hey, Finn. It’s me, it’s Fao.”

Fao's voice, as it always seemed to, managed to break through to Finn. He blinked at Fao, his gaze dropping to their hands. 

“Hi. Got yourself into a bit of a mess, eh?”

"Oh, he definitely recognised you there." The nurse smiled, fussing over Finn. "Bet you're glad he's here, yeah? You'll have had him worried sick."

Fao squeezed his hand. “You’re a nightmare, you know that? Causing all this lot trouble, too. Look at you.”

The recognition he'd had quickly vanished, Finn looking straight through the lot of them. He pulled his hand from Fao's to rub at his face, his hand coming back red.

“It’s okay.” Fao soothed. “Do you think I could try and clean these wounds for him? I’m a doctor, I’ve got ID somewhere.” He asked, digging around in his pockets. 

"We shouldn't…" She hesitated. It was the most settled Finn had been, and the closest any of them had gotten to him. "I'll grab you some supplies."

He finally found his ID, the lanyard jangling. “Here, and I can give you my GMC if you want to document it.” He said, offering it to her. “Thank you.”

"Ah, brill. You know what the paperwork is like. Do you want a seat?"

“That would be great, thank you.”

"Won't be long." She said softly, resting her hand on his arm before disappearing off. 

“Thanks.” He murmured, leaning on the rails of the bed whilst he waited, watching his brother carefully. 

Finn seemed to fade back in, catching his brother’s eye and holding his gaze. A frown flickered across his face and he shoved his arm in Fao's general direction with a groan.

Fao took his hand. “Hey. Bet you feel shit right now, eh?”

He spat the plastic from his mouth, dislodging the mask on his face.  "My chest hurts."

“Mask needs to stay on, Finn.” Fao told him, but didn’t move to adjust it. “It’s going to hurt, you’re not well.” 

"Then help." He narrowed his eyes, his chest crackling with each breath. The cough didn't take long to follow, but Finn didn't move to cover his mouth or turn his head. 

“Here, let’s get this back on.” Fao said, adjusting the mask. “I know it’s horrid, but it will help you out.” He was definitely out of it, though seemed more coherent than before - coherent enough to complain, anyway. 

Finn scowled as Fao got close, but whatever argument he had planned was quickly lost. His arms stretched out, his shoulder dislocating once more, and his back arched in a seizure. His eyes were fixed in the corner as he groaned, his body contorted and stuck. It finished as quickly as it had started, the extra exertion making Finn struggle and cough.

Shit. 

Fao winced as Finn’s shoulder slipped out of place again, as his back arched and the seizure took him. He was about to hit the emergency bell when it stopped, Finn struggling with his breathing again as his body tried to catch up. He considered going to find someone as the nurse reappeared, chair in hand. 

“He’s just had a seizure, all of about two seconds long, and that shoulder’s gone again.” 

She winced. "Ah, bless him. I'll get some more diazepam for him. The anaesthetists are on their way down, they'll probably have a chat with you. You probably know them, at least better than you know us."

“Maybe, yeah. I’ve not been here long. He needs his neuro really.”

"I think it's Dr Cunningham on this evening."

“Perfect.” Fao said, unable to stop the smile. “He’s Finn’s main consultant.”

"Oh, that's worked out well then." She said gently, moving to check on Finn. 

The younger man had returned to his vacant staring, though still struggled to catch his breath. His saturations hovered just under acceptable, and the doctor sighed from behind them.

"We'd hoped to wait, but I think we should go ahead and get that chest drain in now."

Fao hummed. “Worth doing whilst he’s a bit more settled than he has been.” He took a seat gladly in the chair the nurse had brought him, stroking gently through Finn’s hair. 

"Right, let's get an airway dump, just in case, and then give him a little more sedation. No point making it worse for him."

“Can I stay with him?”

"He's fine to stay." The nurse told the doctor. "He's fine."

Fao glanced at the doctor, relieved the nurse seemed to be on his side. He couldn’t leave Finn again, he just couldn’t. Besides, clearly he was doing something right, because his brother was settled. 

"We'll get you to sit on his other side, yeah? We might have to move you, so just bear with." The doctor happily listened to the nurse. "How are we getting on with that sedation? Got it? Brilliant. Let's get this done for him."

#sicktember #whump writing #whump prompt #faolan blackwood #whump #oc #fic #finn daniels #sicktember 2023 #day 6 #sick and Injured #seizures #pneumonia #chest drain #worried family #the beauty of this one is nobody knowing fao

[evadenly]

Bleeding Out - Whumptober Day 23

The First // The Last

Finn hadn't long been deployed, still fresh and yet to lose anyone. When the call came for medevac, his heart sank. IED Vs Humvee. It must have been major, falling most of the available resources to mobilize and go.

He was one of the first on scene, dropping to his knees beside a blonde and starting to treat. It didn't look good, too much blood everywhere and no signs of it slowing, despite the tourniquets and packing.

She comes to halfway through him pushing some painkillers, blinking up at him, terrified. He'd been taking to her since he arrived, recognising her as Wolfie's girl and trying even more to save her.

"Alex, right?" She nods, green eyes searching his face. "I'm Finn. It's gonna be okay. Are you still in pain?"

"It... it really hurts. Am I gonna die?"

Finn hesitates a second, his words catching in his throat, the lie sticking on his tongue. "You're going to be just fine."

He gives her some more morphine, checking with another medic that his fears were founded. Pulled aside, they nod.

"Keep her comfortable, that's all we can do now."

"Can't we take her back? She's Wolfie's girl...surely we can try?"

They shake their head. "Let her go."

Finn returns to Alex's side, brushing her bloodied hair from her face. "We're gonna get you back to Blackwood, okay? It's gonna be alright."

"I don't want to die."

"It's going to be okay. You're gonna be fine. Tell me about Fao."

She smiles through trembling lips. "He's the best...Braver than me. W-Wouldn't be crying l-like this."

"I'm sure he'd be crying worse. You're doing so well."

"We're gon-gonna get married. Have...have a family." Alex slurs, fighting the exhaustion. She's silent a minute before forcing her eyes open to look at him. "I'm scared, Finn."

He doesn't have the heart to lie to her any longer. "You're doing so well. There's nothing for you to worry about."

"How's Fao...Fao going to manage?"

Finn doesn't have the answer to that either. "He's gonna be there for you. Gonna be holding your hand instead of me."

"Don't leave." Panic flickers across her face, struggling to keep her eyes open.

"I'm not going anywhere." He promises, the only truthful words he's said.

He doesn't leave. He stays with her as she fights her last breath and gives in, and then, he cries. He promises her it's going to be alright, that Fao's going to be alright, and cries, holding her tight until they go to take her body back. They try to get Finn to travel separately, but he refuses and they don't have the heart to tell him no.

Fao's waiting for them when they get back, already breaking, already sobbing as Finn helps carry her through, one hand still in hers.

Finn looks up at Fao, holding her hand out.

"I promised I wouldn't leave."

#Whumptober #Whumptober day 23 #bleeding out #major character death #finn daniels #faolan blackwood #I fucking sobbed at this so you're all gonna suffer too

[camellia-thea]

@the-kingshound

Kal... we might be at it again

#the kings hound #feather speaks #angst incoming #we have neira and blackwood dancing and gwyn and faolan crying over each other #and carys is just. watching like it's a sitcom

[faofinn]

15. Sick in an Inconvenient Place

The Daniels always tried to give the family a nice summer holiday, something to get away for a bit and spend time as a family. Often, it had been whatever Fred’s research dictated, but not always, and this year they’d chosen to camp in the new forest. Abroad was nice, too, but Finn’s seizures weren’t super controlled, and it was easier being closer to home, in a country they knew could manage properly without a language barrier. 

The campsite was nice, quiet and well-maintained. The weather was good, and there were plenty of facilities there to enjoy themselves. Despite being nearly 23, Fao loved these holidays with his family, a chance to escape the demands of med school and relax, as well as spend quality time with his brother. He didn’t get to see him as much as he’d like, but there was no escape from him now, sharing a bed in a section of the tent. Not that Fao minded, his brother was sweet and always cuddly, and he missed it when he was away. 

Finn loved the holidays, and not just the reprieve from school. Fao joining them always made it better, though as a teenager, he tried to deny it. 

Of course, being snuggled up to him like a limpet at every opportunity often made his argument moot, but the family went along with his charade. It made Finn feel more mature, gave him the impression he was growing up, even if they all knew he wasn't. If Fred was anything to go by, Sheila wasn't sure if Finn would ever grow up.

Fao wasn’t sure how he’d ended up playing hide and seek with his brother, but he was having fun and he wasn’t going to complain. He’d been shit at hiding, so Finn had protested that he had to do the seeking, and he’d do the hiding. Fao didn’t mind, Finn wasn’t usually that hard to find, and he gave him the time before he went in search of him. 

Finn had found Fao almost immediately, his brother basically just standing behind a tree. Of course, Finn complained, so Fao let him hide, which he loved. It was more fun to hide, anyway.

He'd ran off as soon as Fao started counting; he'd seen a tree he was sure he could climb - and he would be higher than Fao, so he definitely wouldn't find him. It was a bit of a struggle to get up, but he'd managed with minimal injury. Out of breath and trying not to giggle, he missed the first warning. 

Fao regretted letting Finn hide, his brother seemingly having disappeared. Of course, that was the aim of the game, but that wasn’t the point. He scoured the area they’d set out to play in, though he wasn’t convinced Finn hadn’t gone outside of it. 

As Fao passed him, Finn covered his hand with his mouth, trying his best to not giggle. He managed it, somehow, and Fao continued on. His excitement and laughter quickly stopped as his stomach flipped and lights flashed across his vision. The nausea was almost unbearable, and realisation dawned. He knew he needed to get down, but everything was slow, his limbs barely under his control. The panic was overwhelming, the game forgotten, and he called out to his brother. 

"Fao!"

At Finn calling his name, Fao whipped around, the fear clear in his brother’s voice. He couldn’t see him for a minute, eyes flicking around the clearing. Then he spotted him up the tree, and rushed over. 

“Finn? What’s wrong?”

He'd managed to get some of the way down, too far to jump without getting hurt, but he didn't have much of a choice. Fao's voice was distant, muffled behind the rush of blood in his ears. He couldn't see anymore and just had to hope that Fao would find him. 

Fao rushed forwards, just in time to see Finn fall, having got halfway down the tree he’d obviously been hiding in. He was just too far away, as Fao tried to cover the ground, and his brother hit the floor with a thud. 

“Finn!” He fell to his knees next to him, hands shaking, taken back to watching Finn fall the first time, finding him at the bottom of the stairs in his own blood. 

Finn had landed awkwardly, seizing as he hit the ground. Blood seeped from a cut across his forehead, and the spit that collected at his lips was mainly blood. 

Fao scrabbled for his phone, starting the timer as quickly as he could. He didn’t have his bag with him, didn’t have anything. The midaz was back at the tent. He should’ve brought it with him but he’d thought for five minutes they’d be okay. 

Of course, though, they weren't. Five minutes ticked closer and closer, and Finn’s seizure showed no signs of stopping. Cyanosis was clear on his lips, each breath a desperate struggle against contracting muscles. Blood dripped down his face and into his eye, but there was nothing he could do. 

The awkward way Finn had fallen had Fao worried about his cspine, but the way he was breathing (or not) meant that Fao didn’t have much of a choice but to get him on his side. He muttered his apologies, shoving him onto his side in the dirt. 

Glancing at his phone, he found he had one precious bar of service, and quickly called Sheila. He was in the middle of nowhere, and as much as he needed an ambulance, he needed her to get them to him. He was quick as he explained, leaving out the fact Finn had literally fallen out of a tree. 

He couldn’t stay on the phone with her long, quickly dialling for an ambulance. He was as calm as he could be, clinical with them, and explained exactly what he was dealing with. He didn’t know the area, didn’t know the hospitals, which was nerve wracking enough, not to mention Finn very definitely unwell, in an awkward place in the middle of nowhere. 

Sheila had a rough idea where they were, but Fred had explored more of the campsite and had a pretty good inkling he knew where they were. He told Sheila to wait for the ambulance, to direct them to the woods and he'd be back to meet them. He grabbed Finn’s midaz from the tent and ran off, worry and adrenaline seeing him sprint through the site to find his sons. 

Fao spoke soothingly to Finn as he continued to seize, hoping and praying the ambulance came quickly. He hated not being able to do anything, and listening to Finn’s erratic breathing was like torture. He heard footsteps and looked up, expecting paramedics but seeing Fred.

“Dad!”

Fred was more than a little out of breath, but dropped to his knees by the pair. "I've got his midaz. Been longer than five, yeah?"

Fao nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah, give it.” 

Fred had already opened the syringe and reached to wipe the bloody spit from Finn's mouth before giving the midaz. He apologised to his son under his breath, making sure the midaz was in the right place. 

"What happened?"

“We were playing hide and seek, and then he called for me, just before he went. He, uh, might’ve been in the tree?”

Fred looked at Fao, face paling. "You're kidding me. Please tell me you're joking."

“I wish I was joking. He got halfway down before he fell, but…”

"Explains the blood." Fred felt sick. "How did he land?"

“Hard?” Fao winced. 

"On his head?"

“Sort of.” Fao mumbled. “I didn’t get to him quick enough, I tried…”

Fred's mind reeled. "It's okay. It's not your fault. You did your best."

He’d said that last time, and Finn had still nearly died. Fao sighed. “Yeah.”

Fred reached a hand to squeeze Fao's shoulder. "Thank you for being here for him."

He made a noise. “He’s my little brother.”

"I know, I know. I'm gonna have to go meet the ambulance, okay? I'll be right back."

“Yeah, go. I’ll be with him.”

"Thank you." He squeezed his youngest's arm. "Just hold on, Finn. Please, just hold on."

Fao watched his dad go, praying things didn’t take much longer, that Finn stopped seizing, that something got better. 

The midaz seemed to help, his breathing starting to even out, the seizure starting to slow. It still hadn't fully resolved by the time the ambulance arrived, his eyes still fixed, muscles still contracting. 

Fao looked up as the paramedics arrived, relieved to finally see them as his brother began to stop seizing, though he could still feel the flicker of muscle contraction against him. 

"Hi, Finn and Fao, yeah?" The one in front gave them a tense smile. "I'm Mia, this is Tom. How's Finn doing now? Your dad caught us up a bit."

“Hi, yeah. As you can see he’s started to resolve, he’s had his midaz about a minute ago now, but he’s not fully come out of it yet, I can still feel him. He was in the tree, and he was just coming down as he went, I tried to catch him but I wasn’t able to. He hit his head, I was worried about his cspine but I was more worried about his airway so I had to roll him.”

"Okay. How long has he been seizing for? And how far did he fall?"

“Um, however long is on my phone? 8 minutes? He fell from about half way down, maybe a metre, he was trying to climb down but I guess he’d already started.”

"Alright. I'm gonna get some more people to come give us a hand." She murmured as Tom connected Finn to the oxygen. "I'll see if I can get a cannula in, too, just in case that midaz doesn't help."

“He’s usually decent to cannulate.” Fao murmured. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you guys.”

"Just keep doing what you're doing, you're doing a great job."

He nodded, staying put and murmuring to his brother. “Got some help now, Finn. Gonna get you sorted.”

Sure enough, Finn was easy enough to cannulate, even with his occasional jerks. His airway was cleared, his oxygen starting to climb back into acceptable territory. As the minutes crawled by, their assessment continued to be worrying. His gaze was still fixed, as were his pupils, his head injury all too obvious. Of course, they were worried about it being a distracting injury, especially with the possibility of a spinal injury all too likely. 

Fao could tell things weren’t good, the paramedics sounding increasingly concerned as they worked. That was the problem with his medical brain, he could get the gist of what they were saying, what their worries were, and he bit his lip. Finn definitely wasn’t right, still tolerating the oxygen and all too unresponsive. 

"I'm going to give him more diaz. He's not out of it yet." Mia murmured. "Can you grab that and the BVM? Just in case."

Her crewmate did so, passing her the meds and sorting the BVM, making sure it was in reach if they needed it. “Here.”

"Right, that's given. Can you mark it? Great." She rubbed Finn's arm. "C'mon, kid."

“Come on, Finn.” Fao murmured. “Don’t do this.”

The seconds dragged on into minutes, and Finn’s seizure finally seemed to stop. His body slowly relaxed into the dirt, the ambulance crew carefully adjusting him onto his back and taking control of his head. His airway was secured and observations rechecked.  

"Pupils are a bit more reactive now, but they're still very sluggish. He's got good air entry, no obvious problem there. Abdo is nice and soft, nothing on the long bones, but I'm not sure if he's broken that arm." Mia ran through, though glanced up as the monitor beeped at them. "Finn? Come on, don't do this."

Tom looked up at her, catching the urgency in her tone. He reached to rub at Finn’s chest, knuckles on bare skin. "Finn, come on, take a breath. You can do it."

"He's not going to, is he?" She murmured. 

"I've got the BVM. Do you want to update them and get the pads on?" Tom asked, swapping the masks over. "There we go, that's getting air entry there. Sats are coming back up. Should we intubate?"

#sicktember 2023 #sick in an inconvenient place #whump writing #whump prompt #faolan blackwood #finn daniels #fred daniels #whump of a minor #seizure #not breathing #fall from a tree #oc #fic #the wolf and the ghost #this isn't the first time we've written finn falling out of a tree lol #poor fao doesn't have enough to have nightmares about obviously #midazolam #seizure whump #daniels family holiday part 5 thousand #it's got to be done at this point we have a Reputation (tm)

[faofinn]

14. ‘‘I shouldn’t be worried about you, but for some reason I am’’ 

Fao had been working flat out. Surgical training was no joke, the hours were long and the shifts gruelling. He wasn’t long back from his first tour, which had been amazing, but tiring, and now he was back to the rigours of the wards in Birmingham. 

He’d not slept much that night, struggling with the changeover from night shifts to days, and he was looking forwards to getting home and to his bed. But that was a distant prospect now, he had a shift to work, even if he was falling asleep into his handover sheet. 

He had a headache brewing, and had just rested his head on the desk for a second, just to breathe, that was all. 

“Blackwood!” 

The shout startled him, sitting up quickly. He must’ve dozed off. Shit. 

A glance at his phone told him he was ten minutes late to the morning handover. Well, that was why he was being yelled at then. 

“Sorry, Sir.” He said quickly, grabbing his stuff. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” 

He managed to get through his meeting, though it was a struggle, and then it was straight to theatres. A mix of military and civilian patients, it certainly kept him busy, and he was shattered by the time it got to his break. He slipped out for a smoke, but it didn’t really help the headache, and he swung by the emergency department on his way back in to grab some chocolate, hoping that might help, along with the energy drink he’d shoved in his locker. 

Harrison had been on shift when Fao passed through. He went to call over to him when he saw the state of him. His frown deepened, notes forgotten, he stood, padding over to Fao.

"Wolfie?"

“Mm? Hey, Tomcat.” Fao said softly. 

"You look like shit."

“Charming as ever.”

"Are you feeling alright?" He rested a hand on his arm.

“Yeah, just a headache, you know how it is.” He murmured. “Got a bollocking for nearly missing handover this morning and I’ve only just got out of theatre.”

"Come sit down with me?" Harrison couldn't shake the worry.

“I’ve not got long.”

"Yeah, I know."

“Five minutes, whilst I eat this chocolate.” He said, caving all too easily. 

"Good." He grinned, leading the way.

He followed Harrison tiredly, dragging a hand through his hair. If his head would just stop pounding, he could cope with the tiredness. But he could barely think straight. 

"I'm sure we've got a spare treatment room."

“I’m not that bad.” He grumbled. 

"I know." He lied. "Just for some peace."

“Staff room’s fine, it’s only five minutes.”

"Nah, come on. This way."

“I don’t need a treatment room.” He protested, but didn’t have the energy to argue. 

Harrison pushed open the door, hopping up onto the bed. "How's today been, then?"

“Busy.” He said with a sigh, sitting next to Harrison. He used his teeth to open his chocolate wrapper, before offering Hars a square. 

Harrison took it gratefully. "Thanks. You look like you've not slept in a week."

“I feel like it.” He murmured, breaking off a piece for himself. “I did the overnight on call all of last week and it was so busy it’s killed me off. Feel like I’ve not been able to get enough sleep in between shifts, and now I’ve changed to days and it’s just as busy.”

"Been dizzy?"

“Occasionally.” He admitted. “But sod off, I’m just dehydrated with low blood sugar, so’s half the hospital.”

Harrison hummed. "Sure, sure. And how bad is the headache?" 

“Like someone is hammering a nail into my brain.”

"Any visual changes?"

“Stop doctoring and let me be miserable for five minutes.” He grumbled, eating another piece of chocolate. 

"I need an answer." He nudged him, reaching to steal another square. "What about feeling sick?"

“No visual changes but my dyslexia’s worse because I’m tired.” He said, resting his head on Harrison’s shoulder. “Bit of nausea, but the sugar is helping.”

Harrison wrapped an arm around him. "Any auras?"

“Mm, no.”

"Anything else you're not telling me?"

“I just can’t think straight.” He admitted. “I need a holiday, for fuck’s sake.”

"Can I do a set of obs on you?"

“No, because if they’re shit I can’t go back to work and I need to go back to work because I’ve already gotten in the shit this morning.”

"All the more reason I want to do some."

“I told my consultant five minutes for a smoke and something to eat.”

"I'm worried about you." He admitted. "I shouldn’t be worried about you, but for some reason, I am."

“I’m fine, I’ve got a drink upstairs and I’ll sit and do some notes.”

"Please?"

“I should’ve gone to the vending machines outside theatres.” He huffed. “Fine. Make it quick.”

"You know we've got the best shit down here." He grinned, hopping off the bed. "I'll be quick. Sorry, the cuff's cold."

“I know, that’s why I came down. And it was on my way back.” He’d been hoping to bump into Harrison, admittedly, but not to be fussed over and bothered. He’d fancied five minutes to rant, that was all. “You’re not getting any more of my chocolate, though.” 

"Rude. I'll live."

He had another square, letting it melt in his mouth as Harrison fussed. His bleep hadn’t gone off yet, which was a relief, because the way it had been squealing at him all morning really hadn’t been helping things. “You better.”

"Mhmm." He hummed, watching the machine. "Can you stand up a sec for me?"

“I’m comfy.” He protested. 

"Please?"

“I know what you’re trying to do.” He complained, but stood up. His back was aching - his table hadn’t been high enough for his last case, and he was paying for it.

"Okay, you can sit." He pulled out his pen torch. "Stare at my nose, just gonna shine a light in your eyes."

Fao sat gratefully, ignoring how his head span. “No, c’mon, you said a set of obs, and I even went so far as to give you the standing BP. Enough, I need to go back to work.”

"No." Harrison was firm. "You're not. Not a chance."

“I’m tired and dehydrated, it can’t be that bad.”

"You're still not going back to work. I want you admitted."

“Leave off.” He protested. “I’ll go home, if you insist, but I don’t need admitting. It’s a headache.”

"Surely you'd feel better with some pain relief? Antiemetics? Please, it's for your own benefit."

“Chuck a couple of paracetamol at me and I’ll get Alex to take me home.”

"No." 

Fao was about to argue when his bleep went off, and he winced. “Time’s up, I need to get that.” He said, frowning at the number on the screen. 

Harrison pulled out his own phone, taking the bleep from Fao. "Yeah, I'm overruling you on that one."

“Tomcat!” He protested. “Let me call them back?”

"I said no." Harrison’s voice was uncharacteristically hard. "I'm calling them, you're gonna lie back on the bed and let me do my job."

He stepped back, deliberately out of Fao's reach, and dialled the number. Fao's observations weren't terrible, but they were enough to worry him, especially with how shit his friend looked. He didn't really care if Fao hated him for it; he couldn't, in good conscience, let him continue working when he was so obviously struggling so much. 

He huffed, but his headache was much too bad to really give too much protest. He wasn’t going after Harrison, at any rate. He shuffled his bum back on the bed, swung his legs up and kicked his shoes off, feeling better for it almost instantly, though he’d never admit it. Guilt flared, knowing he was supposed to be busy, but Harrison making decisions meant it had been taken somewhat out of his hands, which he appreciated. Leaning back against the back of the bed he let his eyes close, listening to Hars on the phone. 

"Hi, it's Dr Harrison from ED? No, you paged Blackwood, not me, that's right. Yeah, he's not coming back up, I'm admitting him." He kept his voice low, aware it wouldn't be helping Fao. "Honestly? You should be ashamed of yourself that you let him keep working. Anyone could see he wasn't well, I could tell a mile off. Go ahead, it's Harrison Cunningham, I don't care. Thanks, bye now."

“Harrison!” Fao hissed, reaching to throw a pillow at him. 

"Hey, you'll need that. It's a luxury around here." He teased, passing it back. "I'll go grab you a blanket and get you booked in, too. Then I'll send someone across and we'll get some treatment sorted, yeah?"

“You’re an ass.” 

"I know." There was a hint of pride behind his tone. 

Fao rolled his eyes, but tucked his pillow back under his head. “I should call them.”

Harrison laughed. "You sound like every drunk girl on a Saturday night. Get some rest."

“Get me a cup of tea?”

"Sir, yes, sir." He teased. "I'll be right back."

“If you’re gonna admit me you could at least get me a cup of tea. Might as well milk it.”

"Might as well make the most of it. Want me to call Alex? Sheila?"

“Don’t bother Sheila, but call Alex? You can doctor at her.”

"Alright, I'll do that while I'm getting your tea, yeah?" He said softly. "I'll send a nurse through."

“Thanks.” He said, rolling onto his front to bury his face in the pillow. 

Harrison hummed, shutting the door quietly behind him. He grabbed one of the nurses, smiling sweetly and apologising for the extra work. He then had the fun job of calling Alex, so scrolled through before pressing dial, heading to the staff room for the good tea.

Alex had been enjoying her day off, having taken the dog for a long walk that morning. Now he was napping, and she’d been watching some TV when her phone rang. She should’ve been studying, but of course she wasn’t, and she reached for her phone. 

“Harrison?” 

"I'm at work, you can't yell at me. But, I may have just admitted Fao?"

“I can definitely still yell at you. What’s happened? Is he okay?”

"He's got a migraine, don't think he's been sleeping. His obs aren't terrible, but honestly? He looks like shit. Got yelled at this morning, apparently, for falling asleep before handover. That's not like him."

“He didn’t sleep last night.” Alex agreed. “How bad is ‘not terrible’?”

"Fluids worthy but not resus?"

She sighed. “He’s such an ass. He’s been struggling for days with his sleep.”

"I'd say maybe he'd learn from this, but I know better."

“He definitely won’t. He needs to sort his mental health out again, keep an eye on him?”

"Don't we all?" He sighed. "You know I will. I'm just making him a cuppa, he's had some chocolate, but I'll get him something proper to eat."

“Thank you. Are you expecting to get him discharged in a couple of hours?”

"Depends how he behaves."

She laughed at that. “Yeah, true.”

"Are you wanting to come in?"

“If I can, yeah. I’ll kick his ass.”

"Cool, I'll let him know."

“Look after him, yeah? He’s trying to be a hard ass but he’s been really struggling.”

Harrison softened. "Of course I'll look after him. He's got me worried about him."

“Glad you’re looking out for him. I won’t be long, let him know I’m on my way.”

"I will. Drive safe."

“Always.” She murmured, and said her goodbyes before she hung up, grabbing some stuff for Fao.

When she arrived, he was on his side in the bed, though sipping the tea Harrison had brought him. He looked worse than he had done when he’d left the house that morning, but the smile he offered her as she appeared had her anger and worry evaporating like mist in the morning sun. 

“You daft shite.” She said, settling next to him and running a hand through his hair. “You need to take better care of yourself.”

“I know.” He murmured. “Sit wit’ me properly?”

She was always a soft touch for him, and so she settled on the bed properly. Fao sat up as she did so, putting his tea down, and then laid back down again, his head in her lap. They’d already given him antiemetics, and he had fluids running, which were making him feel better, but Alex there was certainly doing the hard work. Her fingers carding through his hair, he was asleep in minutes, warm and safe.

#sicktember 2023 #i shouldn't be worried about you but for some reason i am #day 14 #whump writing #whump prompt #oc #fic #faolan blackwood #harrison cunningham #alexandra taylor #military whump #fao's an idiot #overworking #migraine #headache #overworked #hars' sass is unmatched #he 100% has a reputation lbr #but he's good at his job #and he takes 0 shit from fao

[faofinn]

No. 2 "I'll call out your name, but you won't call back."

@whumptober-archive

Thermometer | Delirium | "They don't care about you."

A 'recovery' fic set some time after this

Harrison had gone from strength to strength in his recovery. Even despite the sepsis and pneumonia, on top of the initial gsw and opened chest in the field.

It had been a long, hard slog to get there, though, that couldn't be forgotten. After the chest drain, he'd ended up with a little delirium from everything, and everyone dreaded that it was going backwards. Somehow, he kept progressing, kept improving, kept defying expectations. 

It was several months later when he was finally allowed from the bed, graduating to being allowed to potter between there and the sofas. He was on strict instructions to not treat anyone, to not do anything stupid and outside of his current abilities. He still had a babysitter, though they denied that that was why they were there. It was obvious, but he didn't really mind; he enjoyed the company and conversation. 

Harrison had lost so much weight with it all, far too much, and that brought its own problems. His prosthesis no longer fit properly, the bone rubbing against the hard plastic. It put him off walking with it, choosing instead to use his crutches where he could.

Fao didn’t mind ‘babysitting’ Hars. He was still getting over his own chest infection, easily tired, and so sitting around in the basement doing paperwork and making sure Hars had what he needed suited him just fine. Besides, he liked Harrison’s company, and it was still just so nice to have him ‘back’ after all they’d been through. 

The past few nights, Harrison had been struggling to sleep. He just couldn't settle with pain and just wrongness in his bones. He'd tried to shake it off, busying himself in the basement to try and keep his mind active. The room spun each time he stood, but after a few moments of gripping whatever counter he was closest to, everything returned to normal. It was just tiredness, that's all.

Fao noticed as Harrison emerged from his room, somewhat unsteady on his crutches. Not unusual, and Fao wished he’d use his chair instead, but he wasn’t about to start that fight again. 

“Hey. Need anything?” Fao asked. 

He took a moment to reply, looking blankly at Fao before he shook his head. "No, I'm good."

“You okay?” He asked, frowning. 

"Been better."

“Need something? Meds?”

"I want out of the basement."

“Want some fresh air?”

"Yeah. But I want to stay out."

“I can’t let you stay out.”

"You can't keep me here."

“You’re still not well, Hars.”

"I'm late, Fao. I don't have time to worry about not being well."

Fao frowned, standing up and putting his book down. “Late?”

"Yes, late. I'm trying to get ready."

“Late for what?”

Harrison turned to look at him, exasperated. "Work. Honestly, Fao. I don't get you."

“You don’t have to go to work, you’re off sick right now. You got hurt, remember?”

"I'm not stupid, I know I got hurt. I can fucking feel it."

“So you don’t need to go anywhere.”

"Yeah, I do." He turned back, swaying on his crutches. "I need to go."

“You don’t need to go to work, you can stay here. Why don’t we sit down, I’ll put the kettle on?”

"I don't want a drink. I want to go outside."

“Come on, it’s okay.”

"None of this is okay."

“I know, I know. But you don’t need to go out, you can stay here.”

He frowned. "I don't want to stay here."

“I know, but it’s for your own good.”

"It's obviously not."

“It is, Hars. I know it doesn’t feel like it.

"Where's Tai? He'll tell you."

“He’s at work today, he’ll be home soon.”

Harrison frowned at him. "Well where's Levi?"

“Your dad is with him.”

"He's my son."

“Nobody is saying otherwise.”

He huffed. "Right. Okay."

“I mean it, Hars.”

"Mean what?"

“Nobody’s saying otherwise about Levi.”

"Right. So I need to go."

“No, you don’t.”

"Whatever." He turned away, bored of the conversation and ready to do his own thing. 

The turn made him dizzy, but he figured it would go, it had to. He stumbled forward, managing a few steps before his crutch slipped slightly. He struggled to right himself, but the dizziness was only getting worse, the room darkening at the corners. 

Nausea rose too, only adding to the feeling that he was dying, but he didn't have the energy to do anything about it. His leg shook and he knew his knee wouldn't hold him, but the thought was quickly lost to the blackness.

“Hars? Harrison?” He called.

Fao spotted the way Harrison went blank, the stumble just another warning sign. He crossed the room quickly, aiming to help Harrison stay upright on his crutches, but his eyes rolled and he went down. He reached for him just as he went, stretching further than he should, and he staggered under the weight of him as they went to the floor. It was softer than it had been if he’d not caught him, but it wrenched Fao’s bad shoulder and he groaned, the pain already bad. 

Harrison was still in Fao's arms, his chest rise and fall all too shallow. It took a few moments for him to start to come to, screwing his face up. 

“Hey, you’re okay.” Fao said, running his fingers through Harrison’s hair. “Take a moment.”

He groaned, trying to get his bearings. He reached to rub his eyes, his head pounding. 

“You’re alright. You fainted.”

"Head hurts."

“Headache? You didn’t hit the floor.”

"I'm on the floor."

“I caught you, you fainted.”

"Oh. Okay."

“Let’s get you back to bed.”

#whumptober 2023 #no. 2 #“I'll call out your name but you won't call back.” #delirium #oc #fic #passing out #fainting #catching someone #whump writing #whump prompt #faolan blackwood #harrison cunningham #the wolf and the ghost #crime au #hars goes splat #amputee #pneumonia #whump #fao's gonna be real sore later

[faofinn]

No. 25 "You're not delivering a perfect body to the grave."

Storm | Buried Alive | "They're not breathing!" 

Part 1 | Part 2

Fao had gotten to the point where he was happy enough with the packing, that the bleeding was at least slightly under control. He’d managed to bag painkillers and enough kit to start an IV, and he quickly set about getting access. “You’ll have to forgive me for this one mate, it’s been a while.” The lighting was shit, too, but Fao had always been decent at getting a vein, and managed to get a cannula in, feeling quite proud of himself. He needed more hands, though. He gave the morphine, scrawled the dose and time on Jamie’s arm with the pen he was glad he had in his pocket, and went back to the wound. 

Jamie was beyond glad for the pain relief, the morphine threatening to pull him under. He didn't fight it as much, allowing the haze to take over as he drifted. 

“That’s it.” He murmured, trying desperately to sort the bleeding. Where was Harrison? He should’ve been back by now.  

Things were rapidly hurtling towards the point of no return. Fao knew that as much as Jamie did. At least with the pain relief on board he felt less bad trying to get on top of the bleeding now Jamie was more out of it than not. With Harrison nowhere to be seen, probably injured or worse, Fao had to push on. The half broken obs machine he’d managed to get his hands on alarmed at him, progressively getting more and more frustrated, but as Fao watched his blood pressure sink even more, he knew he had to do something. The packing just wasn’t doing enough, he need to find the source before Jamie bled out on him, and Fao owed him far too much to let that happen. 

Rummaging around in the supplies he’d gathered, he found more packing materials, and thankfully a scalpel. He didn’t get any response from Jamie when he spoke to him, though he was still breathing, and he said a prayer to a god he’d never believed in before he made the incision. 

“Fuck it.” He muttered to himself. “They’re not delivering a fucking perfect body to the grave, not on my watch.” 

With better visibility, he could at least pack more widely, try and see what was causing all the fuss. Jamie’s breathing was shit, but he was still breathing, and that was good enough for Fao. He had no blood, nothing to transfuse, and he could barely see anything, but he had to do something. He couldn’t just leave him, couldn’t stand idly by. There were other patients, other staff too, but Fao owed Jamie an awful lot, and he wasn’t about to walk away. “Come on Jamie, don’t give up on me now. I’m not giving up on you.”

After what felt like hours, scrabbling about to find something to fix, Fao finally found the stubborn vessel that was causing the bulk of the bleeding, and managed to tie it off. It wasn’t a definitive solution, anything but, but it was what they had. By that point, he’d managed to find someone to help him, and they’d got a bag of fluids, though they had nothing to hang it off, so Fao was stood holding it, blood everywhere, hand tight around it to try and get just that little bit more volume in. It was a hail mary, but the world had completely fallen apart. There was nothing else to do but hail marys.

#whumptober 2023 #No. 25 “You're not delivering a perfect body to the grave.” #oc #fic #faolan blackwood #jamie #whump writing #whump prompt #field medicine #makeshift surgery #field surgery #whump #drastic measures #fao's for sure glad of his training lol

[faofinn]

No.8 "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier."

@whumptober-archive

Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | "It's all for nothing."

Working in London had its perks. Good public transport, better money, a trauma network to be proud of. After the Army it had been welcome, a supportive network to put his skills to good use and help others as well as teach and learn. He’d made his career there, met his wife, and given it was the hospital that had saved Finn and given him a second chance to complete his degree, he owed it a lot. 

He’d just finished seeing a patient in the ED, and sat down to get his notes done. It had been a busy day, the ED overcrowded as ever, people waiting hours on hours to be seen. It was more and more like the status quo these days, not that that made it any easier to deal with. 

As luck would have it, he was sat next to Harrison, and he glanced over at him, humming. He’d been about to ask him if he was coming for for Sunday lunch that week when the world shattered around them. There was an explosion so big it rocked the ED, walls crumbling and windows shattering. 

Harrison suddenly found himself on the floor, shards of glass and debris surrounding him, his ears screaming. Everything was sluggish for a moment, reality slowly falling back into place. Blood dripped from his nose and he roughly wiped it away, trying to get to his feet.

"Fao?!"

The blast had taken Fao to the floor too, dust and rubble all around him, his ears ringing with it. It wasn’t the first explosion he’d been caught in the aftermath of, but that hardly made it any easier. Struggling to his feet, Fao gripped what was left of the desk. It took  a minute to register that Harrison had called his name. 

“Hars?” 

He looked critically over him. "You okay? Bleeding?"

“Dunno.”

"Let me see."

He struggled to stay upright, definitely concussed, and when he wiped at his brow his hand came back red. He wasn’t sure if he was bleeding anywhere else, trying to think was like trying to crawl through molasses. 

Fao looked as shit as Harrison felt, and it was taking every ounce of his control to not just break down. He cupped Fao's cheek with one hand, frowning. 

"How dizzy are you?"

Fao huffed a laugh. “Very.”

"Right, sit. I'm not having you collapse." He'd not thought he'd hit his head, but the sudden nausea and subsequent vomit said otherwise. He roughly wiped his mouth, turning back to Fao. "Let me check you, then…then god knows where we start."

Fao picked up a chair that had been knocked over, testing how stable it looked before he sat on it shakily. “I’m fine, I think. You’re not, though.��

"I'm fine." He brushed Fao's concern off. "Let me have a look at your head."

“Mm, ‘kay.”

Harrison was gentle as he did so, screams starting to break through the chaos. He knew he ought to go treat, but Fao was his priority. He always was.

He was starting to feel a little better, the blood more of an inconvenience than anything else. He pulled away, looking up at Hars. “We need to start triaging, Tomcat.”

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to make sure you weren't gonna die on me." He said softly. "Let's go see what we've got."

“As if I’d die on you.” He said, carefully getting to his feet.

Harrison couldn't help his glare. "You're an arse."

“It’s fine, we’re even.”

"Dick."

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

He glanced at him. "No. But we don't have a choice."

“Okay enough to stand and treat, at least?”

"Yeah, course." He glanced around. "We need more staff."

“We need more on a good day.” Fao grumbled. 

Harrison snorted, hating the pain that lanced across his ribs. He rummaged in the drawer by him, making a triumph noise as he found the rota. "Right! Everyone listening! I need to know who we've got, who's hurt, and then we can triage patients, okay?

"If you are hurt, but still walking, start treating. I know we're all stubborn fuckers, but, for the love of god, if you are properly hurt, please speak to someone, let them help." His voice betrayed his stoicism for a moment. "I can deal with injuries. I can't deal with losing any of you guys, alright? Look after each other. We just need to get through the next hour, more help is on the way. I know you guys are scared, I know how overwhelming this all is, I know. But we can do this, okay? We've just got to get through the next hour.

He braced himself against the desk as dizziness hit him again, and he swallowed down the nausea. "We need to set up a triage, all current major patients are gonna be put in resus. Float a few of you there so anyone needing immediate medical treatment that's ongoing can get done. Anyone new, we'll move to majors one. Everyone currently admitted, majors two. Systems are down, let's get everything on the whiteboards, okay? Check everything twice, no mistakes. Go in pairs, nowhere alone, alright? Alright." He sighed. "This is shit, this is tough, but we've got this. I believe in you all, take a moment and let's try and sort what we can, okay?"

Fao let him talk, taking control easily and comfortably. It was his department, and he did a good job of getting everyone’s attention. Plenty were just as wounded as they were, some looked worse, and Fao’s eyes flicked critically as they gathered, taking stock of who could likely treat and who couldn’t. 

It was a relief to have his staff accounted for, however injured they were. He wasn't sure where the explosion had come from, or why, but that wasn’t the main focus. They'd deal with that later. They had patients they needed to see, and plenty of them should be patients themselves. With a dark expression, he rifled through the major incident pack, handing out tags.

"Fao? You alright to hold down adults for ten minutes? I want to go check paeds."

Fao nodded. “Yeah, absolutely. Be careful, yeah?” 

"And you." He said firmly, nodding at Fao. "I'll shout what I find."

“Don’t do anything stupid.” 

He turned to grin. "When would I ever?"

“All the time, that’s what I’m worried about!”

"Worry about my ED. That's all I'm asking!" He shot back, already making his way through the debris.

Fao shook his head, but turned his attention to the rest of the team. “Alright guys, listen up. Anyone who’s able to triage, go and triage. This is no different to any of the major incident training you’ve done. Don’t put yourself in any danger, don’t take stupid risks. There’s no point making more patients for us. If you’re not able to go and triage, come and see me, or send someone to get me if you need medical attention. Let’s work as a team, get things sorted, and we’ll get through this. I’m presuming we’re cut off from the rest of the hospital, so what we have here is what we’re working with.”

As everyone slowly split off, Fao was able to start taking stock, working out what supplies they had, what staff were around and who was injured or missing. They could start working out where was safe and where wasn’t, setting up areas to treat and areas to avoid. 

It was as he was sorting them that he came across a slumped figure, blood spattered over the floor. It was Jamie, Fao recognised him immediately, and knelt next to him. 

“Hey, Jamie.” He murmured. “You’re gonna be okay, I’m gonna get you sorted, alright?”

He barely raised his head, closing his eyes against the dizziness. "Fao."

“Hey. This is usually the other way round, eh? I’ve got you.”

"I don't know how you two do it." His voice was weak. 

“Stubbornness.” Fao admitted. “I’m gonna get you up now, alright? It’s gonna suck, it’ll hurt like fuck, but it’s the only way we can get you help.” He shifted his weight, and then carefully picked Jamie up, uncaring of himself as he got to his feet. 

"God, fuck this." He groaned, leaning into Fao. "Fuck."

“I know, I’m sorry.” He murmured. 

"Am I gonna die?" He couldn't help but ask. 

“Don’t be daft, of course you’re not.” Fao said lightly. “We’ve got to keep you around, you’re the only one who can cannulate me without turning me into a pincushion.”

He almost laughed, but the slight huff sent pain shooting through his abdomen. It spread everywhere, a shock going down his spine and the pain making him feel sick. He gave a groan, struggling to stay conscious. 

“Okay, no jokes.” Fao said softly. “I’ve got you, I’m damn good at my job. You’re gonna be alright, just keep breathing for me.” He managed to find a half decent treatment space, things getting relatively sorted now, and looked around. “Where’s Harrison?” He asked one of the HCAs.

"He's not come back yet."

“Shit.” Fao muttered. “Okay, I need as much kit as I can get.” He looked around, finding what he could make use of. It wasn’t much, but it was something. 

"Fao?" Jamie's voice cracked. 

“I’m here, you’re okay.” He said, coming back to his side. “I’ve even found some pain relief.”

"Breathing's 'ard."

“Keep doing your best, okay? You’re doing amazing.”

"Sorry." He hated it, hated it all. His body was trembling, each movement making the pain worse. He coughed, suddenly retching at the taste of blood in his throat. He couldn't sit up to clear his throat properly so turned his head, spitting blood with a whine. 

“You’re okay, don’t be sorry.” Fao soothed, ripping packs open to try and control the bleeding. “You’re doing so well.”

He forced a smile. "You don't have to lie."

“I’m not. Best surgeon in the hospital looking after you.” Fao tried to joke, packing the wound the best he could. 

"It fucking hurts."

“I know, I know. Hold on for me, you’re doing great.”

"Don't lie." He murmured. 

Fao had gotten to the point where he was happy enough with the packing, that the bleeding was at least slightly under control. He’d managed to bag painkillers and enough kit to start an IV, and he quickly set about getting access. “You’ll have to forgive me for this one mate, it’s been a while.” The lighting was shit, too, but Fao had always been decent at getting a vein, and managed to get a cannula in, feeling quite proud of himself. He needed more hands, though. He gave the morphine, scrawled the dose and time on Jamie’s arm with the pen he was glad he had in his pocket, and went back to the wound. 

Jamie was beyond glad for the pain relief, the morphine threatening to pull him under. He didn't fight it as much, allowing the haze to take over as he drifted. 

“That’s it.” He murmured, trying desperately to sort the bleeding. Where was Harrison? He should’ve been back by now.

#whumptober 2023 #no. 8 “I've got soul but I'm not a soldier.” #overcrowded er #whump writing #whump prompt #oc #fic #faolan blackwood #harrison cunningham #explosion #attack #whump #hospital attack #IED #field medicine #bleeding #abdominal injury #we were mean to jamie lol #he's our fave #so obviously we needed to hurt him

[faofinn]

23. Coughing Fit

Fao hadn’t been back in England all that long, and he’d been sharing a room with Harrison for even less time. He was still mostly stuck in bed, still awaiting much more surgery in order to get him back on his feet, but they were doing what they could. Despite his best efforts, and the breathing exercises they gave him (which he even did, mostly), he’d picked up an infection. He knew the cough was good, knew it meant he was shifting the crap off of his chest as he should be, but it was absolutely killing him. Every cough, every deep breath was agony. The incision burned, it twisted, it stabbed. No matter what they did, how many painkillers they gave him, it never made it better. 

He’d been coughing all night, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in, and every time he dozed off he’d been woken by the coughing or the pain. That, or Harrison would start, and that would wake him. It was to be expected, they were so close and often hugging or even dozing in bed together. It was no surprise they’d passed it to each other, much to the dismay of the nursing staff.

Exhausted, Fao sipped his water and tried to stop the cough that had been building, clearing his throat. It didn’t work, and now that he’d started he couldn’t stop. It wracked his body, his incision so painful it almost felt like his chest was being ripped apart, his ribs just agony. He tried everything to no avail, it was just so painful he wasn’t sure if he was going to cry or scream or both. He was exhausted with the effort of it, starting to taste the coppery tang of blood on his tongue. 

Harrison had just started drifting when Fao started coughing again. He groaned, pushing himself up on one arm. The change in position set him off coughing too, his initial plan to tell Fao off quickly going sideways. 

"Fuck me."

Fao groaned, trying to catch his breath and failing. The coughing had stopped, but the breathlessness hadn’t, and he looked over at Harrison, who was no better. 

“Jesus.”

Harrison took a moment to catch his breath, feeling like absolute death. He glared at Fao for good measure. "Can't believe you gave me this."

“Not my fault.” He rasped. 

He leaned against the back of the bed, his own ribs protesting and screaming. The pain from his shoulder was only getting worse with each cough, and he cou ld feel the muscles spasming with the effort. 

"You okay?"

He shook his head. “Hurts.”

"Join the club." He managed. "Buzzer?"

Fao grumbled, just as the coughing started again. It just made the incision pain worse, and he whimpered, feeling as though he was pulling the incision apart. 

As Fao started coughing again, Harrison's concern only grew. He knew how much pain he was in, and he'd not had his chest cracked. Guilt flared as he struggled for his buzzer, pressing it and hoping the nurse would be able to help. 

The nurse came in relatively quickly, all things considered. Fao had just about stopped coughing at that point, but was struggling to catch his breath still, and the sip of water he’d managed hadn’t helped. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked, turning Harrison’s buzzer off.

"This infection." He grumbled, his voice croaky. "We need something for the pain, he needs his obs checked."

“I can get you something for the pain, but neither of you are due obs for another hour.”

"You need to check it."

She looked over at Fao, frowning. He really didn’t look well, pale with his chest heaving, doing his best to stay upright. 

“I’ll go and get the sister.” She said quickly. 

"Told you so." He muttered, falling back into the bed. 

The sister appeared quickly with an obs machine, and Fao didn’t even have the energy to argue. He had to fight to focus on what he was doing, unable to think of anything else. A shaky hand pressed against his incision, his eyes wide. “Pain.”

"We're getting you something for it, don't you worry." She said softly, connecting the obs machine. "We'll get you sorted."

He nodded, it becoming slightly easier to breathe. He hated it, it felt like he was never going to be able to catch his breath. 

"How are you feeling, aside from that?" She asked gently, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. 

“Can’t breathe.” He managed to get out. 

"You're okay." She hummed, reaching behind him. "Why don't we put some oxygen on, see if that helps, hmm?"

He nodded. It had to help, surely. He kept his hand pressed to his side, the pain making his head spin, not to mention the inability to catch his breath. There was a flare of panic, knowing if he passed out things would just get worse, and he tried to fight it. 

"That's it, just relax, okay? I know it's difficult. You're doing really well." She soothed. 

How the hell was he supposed to relax? He felt like he was dying, and all she could say to him was relax. He whimpered, things just getting harder and harder. He looked across the room at Harrison, desperate for some more reassurance. 

Of course Harrison couldn't be trusted to be left alone for five minutes. They'd been stupid enough to leave the crutches close enough for him to reach, so he did. He'd won the fight with the side of the bed and was halfway across when Fao looked to him, and he offered him an encouraging grin. 

“Hars.” He rasped, reaching out for him. 

The nurse turned, exasperated. "Harrison! You're supposed to be in bed."

Harrison gave as much of a shrug as he could, all but collapsing into the chair by Fao's bed. He stretched out to grab at Fao's hand, coughing himself. 

"I got you, Wolfie."

Having Harrison helped Fao to get a bit more control, forcing a slower, deeper breath the best he could. He squeezed his fingers, humming. His cough sounded just as bad, but they were together and that helped. 

"Just in an' out." He managed, squeezing Fao's hand back. "You're okay."

He whimpered, the fear still there despite the oxygen, though it was making it a little easier, stopped his head spinning a bit. 

"You're doing really well, Fao. Keep up with that breathing, yeah? It's hard, I know, but your sats have come back up, it's working well."

He nodded slowly, focusing on his breathing, trying to control it, forcing himself to exhale slowly. It was starting to work, though the cough threatened again, and he tried to clear his throat. 

"That's it, well done." The nurse praised gently. "Keep that up."

He nodded again, feeling useless. He just had to get his breath back, stop the damn cough, but every breath was agony, not just the incision across his ribs but his shoulder too, the muscles screaming at him as he tried desperately to gain control. 

The other nurse reappeared, medications in hand. "Right you two, I've got your pain relief." 

Harrison glanced up. "Fao first."

"Harrison! Again, really? You know you're not allowed to be up without anyone helping." She tutted at him, shaking her head as she headed to Fao's bed. "You'll end up hurting yourself."

Harrison shrugged. "Fao needed me."

Fao knew Harrison had been bad to get up, but he couldn’t complain because Hars really was a lifeline for him. He squeezed his hand again, offering him a weak smile as he continued trying to control his breathing. “Hurts.”

"Where's your cannula, Fao? There it is. Just got you something for the pain, yeah?" She said softly, flushing the cannula first.

He moved his arm slightly, so she could get at his cannula, nodding his consent. The flush was cold, but not awful, and the meds went in soon after. 

"Better?" Harrison asked, his worry clear on his face.

Fao nodded again. The meds were helping, both the coughing and the pain, and he could start to catch his breath again. He squeezed Harrison’s hand again, managing a smile. “Better.”

#sicktember 2023 #23. coughing fit #whump writing #whump prompt #faolan blackwood #harrison cunningham #fic #whump #coughing #short of breath #coughing fit #oxygen #chest infection #thoracotomy #incision #pain #painkillers #fao has a bad day as per #army #army hospital

[faofinn]

No.10 "Can't you see that you're lost without me?"

@whumptober-archive

Broken Phone | Stranded | "You said you'd never leave."

The bus had just pulled in when Finn's stomach flipped. He'd been feeling off the whole bus ride, but he'd hoped to get home before anything happened. The flip just cemented he couldn't wait. 

He tugged on Fao’s hand, pulling his brother off the bus. He let go of his hand as he stepped down, grabbing at the safety railings. His stomach spasmed and he retched, losing his breakfast on the pavement. Fao was meant to be behind him, but he could hear him talking nervously to the driver. There were raised voices and the distinct sound of the doors closing. He glanced at his brother, panic and guilt in his eyes.

Fao rubbed Finn's back. "It's alright. We'll get the next one when you're feeling a bit better."

He shook his head, his knees giving out as he reached desperately for him. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you, I’m here.” Fao said, gripping him as his knees went, helping him to the floor. 

Finn was vacant as Fao settled him down, coming back to himself with a whine a he scrubbed his eyes. Something wasn't right, but he couldn't work it out. 

“It’s okay. Do you think you’re going to seize?” 

He frowned at him, confused. He knew he wasn't feeling right and he still wasn't even speaking English. 

“Alright, okay.” Fao squeezed his shoulder, then pulled off his hoodie to ball it up, giving Finn somewhere to rest his head. “Lay down?”

"No." He pulled away, not wanting to lie on the ground. He was already cold, it would only make it worse. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Finn shoved at Fao's hands. It wasn't okay. None of it was okay. 

“Finn, look at me? It’s alright. Just breathe.”

He fell backwards, his body going limp. He was still aware as Fao tried to help him, fear in his eyes as he struggled to regain any control. 

Fao helped him down, careful he didn’t hit his head as he went down. “That’s it, I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay.”

Finn batted at Fao, grumbling. He was cold and scared and Fao wasn't helping. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

It wasn't long before Finn started to seize, Fao making sure his head was okay. They were sort of used to him seizing in unfavourable places, but the small crowd it drew was never welcome. 

As Fao tried to get a timer started, Finn caught his arm and sent his phone to the floor, where it landed on a stone, the screen completely shattered when he picked it up. 

“Fuck’s sake, Finn.” He grumbled under his breath. He’d have to use his watch then, and hope for the best in terms of timing. He wasn’t quite sure how he was going to call an ambulance if he needed one now. 

Four minutes ticked over, and his seizure showed no sign of stopping. He'd bitten his tongue, as he always did, the blood collecting on his lips. His breathing wasn't as bad as it could be, but he was drenched in sweat and clearly exhausted. 

As the time ticked on, Fao got more and more worried, Finn clearly showing signs of struggling. Fao dug around in his bag for the Midaz, relieved to find it quickly. Five minutes came and went, and Finn showed no signs of stopping. Fao gave it, holding his breath as he waited for his brother to stop, getting him on his side a little in an effort to clear his airway. 

Finn coughed, his seizure finally stopping. He spat the blood he could out, letting it dribble down his cheek. Fao's hoodie was folded under his head, a wrinkle pressing on his ear and all too uncomfortable. He whined, trying to get away from it, confused and disoriented. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here.”

Fao. He forced his eyes open, though immediately whined at the bright light. Tears fell immediately but he was too uncoordinated to scrub them away. He stuck his tongue out, looking for Fao to fix it.

“I know, you bit your tongue. It’s okay.” Fao soothed, struggling to get his phone to work, and succeeding only to cut his finger. 

He couldn't work out his words, but knew he wanted Fao. He threw his arm in Fao's direction trying to get his attention. 

Fao took his hand. “I’m here, I’m here.”

He nodded, pulling Fao's hand closer. He tapped at him, eyes closing. 

“You’re okay. Had a seizure, but it’s okay.” Fao reassured, tapping back. Some people had gathered, though a few had wandered off, and he looked up, hating that he had to do this. “Has anyone called an ambulance? I need to borrow a phone.”

There was a little hesitation, but one of the crowd stepped forward, a look of disgust as she saw Finn. "They're on the phone now."

“Can I have it?” Fao asked. “I have more information to give them.”

"Uh, sure. Here." She held it out, pulling her hand quickly away, as if she was afraid of catching something. 

Fao chose not to respond to that, but took the phone and pressed it to his ear with his good hand. “Hi?”

"Hello, it's the ambulance service. Am I speaking to the patient?"

“No, his brother. A member of the public called you, but I wanted to give more information. His name is Finn, he’s a 16 year old epileptic from a TBI, he’s had a grand mal seizure which failed to stop after five minutes, so he’s had his rescue dose of midazolam. He’s coming round slowly now.”

"Ah, that's very helpful, thank you. You said he's known epileptic, yeah? Would he normally have his rescue meds or is this out of the ordinary for him?"

“It’s fairly normal for him, but he’s often prone to a second seizure after the first.”

"Okay. What's his breathing like now?"

“Better than when he was seizing, but it’s not great.”

"Okay. Can you place a hand on his chest and let me know when he takes a breath.?"

Fao hummed. “His resp rate is on the low side and kind of irregular, but I’m not overly worried about it, he’s normally like this when he’s postictal.” He did gently rest his hand on Finn’s chest, feeling how it rose and fell with each breath.

They got through three breaths before he stopped, his low groan his telltale sign of another seizure. His shoulder clunked out of place as he postured, his knee quickly following suit.

Fao sighed. “Yeah, he’s going to seize again, he’s just dislocated his shoulder and maybe his knee?” He murmured, turning his attention to his brother. “You’re okay Finn, it’s okay. I’m here.” Fao soothed. “I know you’re busy but how long? His second is usually worse than his first.”

"Oh, he's seizing again? The ambulance isn't far away, you should be able to hear them in a bit. They're about two minutes away."

“Okay.” He mumbled. 

Finn coughed and retched, unable to protect his own airway as he vomited. It had recently become a worrying side effect from the midaz, but they'd had hope that it would go back to normal, and they wouldn't have to change. His other shoulder slipped too, the all too familiar noise loud in the silence.

Fao winced, hating that Finn was struggling with the midaz, the drug that was supposed to be their hail mary. Despite the other shoulder clunking out of place, he had no choice but to properly shove him onto his side, protecting his airway as best he could with what he had with him, which was nothing. This had been a lot easier when Finn was little. Now he was 16 and finally starting to grow into himself, it was hard. He went through phases putting on bulk, but he was still lanky as anything, making it even more difficult. Fao was strong, he had to be for work and the Army, but a dead weight like a seizing Finn was hard, especially on your knees on the cold pavement. 

The ambulance wasn't long, dumping their kit by Fao and Finn. "What's been happening?"

Fao looked up, relieved to see the paramedics. “Hi. This is finn, he’s 16, epileptic from a TBI at 10. He had one seizure about ten minutes ago, lasted just over 6 minutes, had midazolam at 5 and it stopped, but when I was on the phone he went again, He’s dislocated both shoulders and I think maybe his knee as well, not unusual for him though, he’s hypermobile. He’s really prone to going into status, and he’s vomited as well as bitten his tongue.” 

"How long has this one been going for? Take it he wasn't fully awake?" One asked, the other sorting his airways. They started attempting to gain access too, wanting to give more medication.

“Uh, I’m not sure exactly. Two minutes? Not fully awake, but awake enough to recognise me.”

"That's okay, you’re doing really well." 

His colleague spoke up. "Hey, can you hold his arm down? I think there's a vein here."

“He’s usually a decent stick, even when he’s seizing.” Fao said, shifting a little to help the best he could. 

He was, as usual, quite easy to cannulate. The diazepam was given quickly, and they held their breath, hoping he'd stop. While one stayed with Finn, the other disappeared to get the stretcher.

“Come on Finn, you can do it.”

The diazepam finally did its job, leaving Finn still on the ground. He groaned quietly, stretching his legs out. There was a thunk as his knee slipped again, thankfully back into place. His shoulders were agony, though, breaking through the sedation and pulling his brows into a frown.

“Well done, you’re okay.” Fao soothed him. “It’s okay.”

"What is he normally like after the diazepam?" They asked softly. "Does he normally struggle?"

“A little, yeah.” Fao said. “He’s quite touch averse, especially when he’s in pain and overwhelmed. So just go slowly with him if you can. He likes soft things, and he’s always cold, so blankets are appreciated. You’ll know when he’s starting to come round more because he’ll protest oxygen like it’s going to kill him, no matter how bad his sats. Nasal is better than a mask when you can get away with it, but he’s not happy unless it’s nothing at all.”

They smiled softly. "You can tell how much you love him, y’know? But that's all appreciated. If we do anything you think we shouldn't, or if we should be and we're not, just give us a shout, yeah?"

Fao managed a laugh. “He’ll soon make it clear if you shouldn’t have done something.” He said lightly. “But of course I’ll let you know. He’s a soft shite really, just gets aggy when he’s confused.”

"It's completely understandable." 

Finn retched, interrupting their conversation. He dislodged the adjunct, pulling his face across Fao's hoodie to pull the mask off too. 

The medic laughed. "You weren't wrong. Finn, you're alright, Kiddo. Let me sort that for you, eh?" They took the OP from him, adjusting the mask back on his face. "How's that, mm? Better?"

Finn squinted at them, nothing making sense. Fao's slight movement pulled his attention, and he groaned at him, his mind too fuzzy for words.

“You’re okay.” Fao soothed, stroking through his hair. “You’re alright.”

Fao's comfort was nice, and he leaned into it. He let his eyes close, giving a heavy sigh.

“That’s it, rest.” Fao told him gently. “We’ve got you.”

The other medic returned with the stretcher, and a few blankets. He pushed it as close as he could get to them, then knelt by Finn’s side.

"How we getting on?"

"He's coming around a bit, still groggy. We'll go slowly, he's gonna be in pain with those shoulders, and after two doses, he's gonna be feeling shit."

“Let me know what I can do to help, yeah? I’m, uh, an F2 doc up in Birmingham.”

"Oh, yeah?" He smiled. "Probably should have done our jobs, eh?"

Fao looked almost embarrassed. “Figured I’d leave it to the professionals.”

"Let me know when they get here, eh?" He joked. 

He managed a smile. “Ah, you guys are far better than me.”

"We always appreciate the compliment." He gave Fao a smile. "Right, then. Let's try and get him on this stretcher, then we can get in the warmth. Finn? Finn, can you open your eyes?"

The hand on his thigh nudged him, and he pulled a face to try and focus on him. They wanted him sitting up, to then be able to lie back down. He wasn't entirely sure, but he nodded.

Fao moved closer. “I’ve got you, yeah? We’ll do it together.” Fao said, gently. “This was easier when you were a kid, good job the Army keeps me fit, eh? These guys are gonna help you sit up. It’s gonna suck, but it won’t take long, and I’m here too.”

"Tell you what, since you've got your shoulders causing these problems, we'll put this sheet behind you, then we can use that instead, yeah?"

“Yeah, much easier, eh?” Fao said, nodding to his brother. “Mum tells me off for doing my shoulders in playing rugby, but you’re the worst for it. It’s because you’re the favourite child, never getting in trouble.”

Finn didn't reply, but watched his brother carefully. He tried a few times to find his words, but he couldn’t make them work properly. He looked at Fao, struggling. 

"Help."

“You’re okay. We’re helping, promise.”

That's not what he wanted. "Help."

“How do you want me to help, Finn?”

He scowled at him. "Out."

“We’re gonna get you up, yeah? Get you off the floor, you just need to sit up with us.”

"No." What wasn't Fao getting? Tears threatened to fall, but he couldn't do anything about it, his arms not under his control. 

Fao considered for a minute, trying to work out what Finn meant. “Your shoulders are out, yeah. You had a seizure. We’ll get it sorted soon, I promise.”

It shouldn't have been that hard and he huffed. "Help."

“Yeah, soon. We’ll get you into the ambulance and help there, okay?”

"No."

The medic frowned. "Finn? Your shoulders dislocated, yeah? We can’t put them back without going to hospital, but I can give you some pain relief. Would you want that?"

“Painkillers will help, yeah?” Fao said, nodding. 

Finn nodded too. They were almost there, had almost caught up. 

“Let’s get you some of that, then.” One of the medics said. 

Fao knew what Finn wanted now, but with the medics around, he wasn’t going to be able to. “I can’t put them back for you, not here.” Fao told his brother softly. “Wait until hospital, okay?”

"No." He whined. 

“I’m not allowed.”

"Please."

“I’m sorry Finn.”

"What's wrong?"

“He’s, uh, he’s really prone to dislocations. Usually when they’re uncomplicated I’ll reduce them for him.” Fao said softly. 

Finn nodded. "Help."

They sighed. "It's not something we'd recommend normally. Obviously, you know yourself, you can do more damage than good if you don't know what you're doing. If we weren't here, you weren't needing to go to hospital, what would you do?"

“Well, I wouldn’t be super happy doing both, honestly, but I’m not worried about fractures, they weren’t traumatic. If I was at home with him after a ‘normal’ seizure, he’s usually good at letting me get them back in.” Fao said softly. “I don’t want to get you guys in any trouble though, and he needs to go to hospital any way.”

"They probably get put back in when you sit him up, yeah?"

“Yeah, sometimes.”

"So, if we were to get him some pain relief, that would make it easier for him. What do you think, Finn? Can get you some entonox? Maybe some morphine?"

“He does well with morphine. I don’t know if his brain is working well enough to get the benefit from the entonox.”

Finn gave Fao a glare,a look that said everything, and the medic laughed. "I'm not sure he's firing on 100, but I'd say he's doing alright. I'll get you some morphine, some ondansetron too, and then when we're sitting you up, you can have the entonox, yeah? But you'll have to just hold it in your mouth. Sound okay?"

Finn nodded, but panicked and looked to Fao. Was it? 

“Yeah, that’s okay. It works well. All these drugs that I can’t have that work great for you, hmm? Favourite child.” Fao teased. 

Finn grinned, a small laugh escaping. He fought his words for a few moments, frowning and growing frustrated. "Your fault."

“I’m so bad I make you look like an angel, eh?”

He shook his head. "Not saved, no competition." 

“Don’t be daft.”

His grin was mischievous, Finn couldn't help it.

“Don’t grin at me like that.”

"Is true."

“You’re an idiot.”

#whumptober 2023 #No.10 “Can't you see that you're lost without me?” #broken phone #stranded #oc #fic #faolan blackwood #finn daniels #seizure fic #seizure in a public place #midazolam #stuck at a bus stop #whump writing #whump prompt #whump of a minor #bless finn he's a sweetie #traumatic brain injury #tbi #epilepsy #ambulance #multiple seizures

[faofinn]

No. 19 Body Modifications (Alt. 5)

@whumptober-archive

Fao and Harrison’s relationship had gotten off to a rocky start, that was certain, but after that they’d become hesitant friends, getting closer and closer as they got older. Hars obviously cared about Finn, about the family, and now he was living with Steve, he’d managed to pull himself together, get some half decent grades at school, stop drinking so much. That in turn made his relationship easier with Fao, who’d helped him through his uni interview prep. He’d gotten offers for a couple of places, which really surprised him, but Fao had told him sincerely he’d never doubted him. 

He often spent time in Fao’s flat, a way to get away from Steve without him worrying, and he enjoyed the older boy’s company. Fao had a no alcohol rule, but they had fun in other ways, watching films (and occasionally sharing a joint). They were sat chatting one evening that summer, not long before Hars was due to move up North, on the little balcony out the back of Fao’s flat, watching the sun go down. 

“I want to get a tattoo.” Harrison announced, after some time sat in silence. 

Fao turned to him, frowning. After the one he’d gotten on his wrist for Finn, he’d started an addiction, and already had half a sleeve on his left arm. “You do?”

"It's stupid, I know."

“No, not stupid.” Fao said. “What would you want?” 

“It’s really stupid.” Harrison said, not looking at him.

Fao nudged him. “Shut up and tell me.”

“An O’Malley.” He said under his breath. 

“O’Malley the alleycat.” Fao said with a grin. “It’s perfect, Tomcat.” 

Harrison had a fierce blush on his cheeks, not looking at Fao, embarrassed by something so childish. “Really?”

“Yeah. Why don’t I take you? As a going away to uni gift?” Fao suggested. 

Harrison had tried to deny him, but it had been no use, and soon he had a time booked with an artist Fao apparently knew. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, but having Fao as a companion helped to get rid of some of the nerves. And after all, how bad could a tattoo really be? He’d been through so much shit, it hardly seemed like a big deal. 

He got settled in the chair, stencil on, and with Fao chatting away, they started. It really wasn’t so bad. Sore, and the vibration was kind of weird, especially on his chest, but it was fine. Like a cat scratch, when Apollo had dug his claws into his thighs. Going over ribs hurt more, but it was more that it startled him, and he grabbed at Fao’s hand in a rather undignified way. Fao hadn’t said anything, just squeezed it back wordlessly, giving him a little nod. It soon settled off again, Harrison relaxing back, and he was chatting away again. It faded into the background, barely even there, and before he knew it the lines and the colour was done. They’d been there hours, but it had hardly felt like any time at all. 

He stood up, checked it out in the mirror, and couldn’t stop beaming at Fao. It was red, and swollen, and it would probably hurt more soon, but he was proud of himself for actually following through with it. He went to pay, with some of his own money he’d saved and some Steve had given him, but Fao stopped him before he could get there, handing over the cash. Harrison had protested, but Fao had just looped his arm around his shoulders with a laugh. 

“My treat, for my Tomcat.”

#whumptober2023 #no 19 #body modifications #alt prompt 5 #oc #fic #whump writing #whump prompt #faolan blackwood #harrison cunningham #tattoo #omalley #wolfie and tomcat #i love them honestly #whump #fluffy whump

[faofinn]

28. "I should've stayed home"

Part 1 | Part 2

Tom looked up at her, catching the urgency in her tone. He reached to rub at Finn’s chest, knuckles on bare skin. "Finn, come on, take a breath. You can do it."

"He's not going to, is he?" She murmured. 

"I've got the BVM. Do you want to update them and get the pads on?" Tom asked, swapping the masks over. "There we go, that's getting air entry there. Sats are coming back up. Should we intubate?"

Fao bit his lip, feeling his stomach twist. This wasn’t uncommon for Finn, but it wasn’t good. It was the end of their holiday, that was for certain, and they were desperately far away from their safety net. They had all his paperwork with them, management plans and everything, but it was still worrying. 

He forced himself to take a deep breath, wishing Finn could do the same. 

Finn ended up intubated, crit care travelling with them to keep him sedated and stable. While Sheila travelled with them, Fred and Fao had to follow in the car behind them. With the severity of the situation, they pre-alerted him in, travelling on blues and treating with diesel. It was straight through to resus when they arrived, teams swarming around Finn. As awful as it sounded, Sheila was glad Finn was sedated, he'd have been unable to cope with the fuss and everything on top of him. He was quickly sent for scans, thankfully stable enough to go to CT, but Sheila couldn't help the worry and nausea that curled in her stomach. They were meant to be on holiday. Finn had been doing so well, and now they were in resus, and he was very much not okay. 

The EEG done by bedside was positive, no signs of seizure activity during their test. Of course, they couldn't be sure if the epilepsy was the sole reason for the seizure, or if the head injury had played a part in it too. The MOI itself was concerning, a fall from any height could be dangerous, especially one head first. By some miracle stroke of luck, the scans were good. No new brain bleed or skull fracture, no c-spine (or spine in general) injury. His arm wasn't lucky, quite a significant break to his humerus, but bones could heal.

He was transferred up to ICU, the plan to slowly reduce his sedation see where they were up to. Calls were made to SGUH, an attempt to keep on top of things, and they happily agreed with the management plan. They'd cleaned his wounds while he was sedated, the fracture reduced and splinted while they could do anything. Of course, Fao was by his side the entire time, barely refusing to let go of his little brother's hand.

Fao hated it. At George’s, people knew him now, having done placements and spent so much time with Finn, Steve always spoke to him like a doctor, made sure everyone was in the loop, and knew Finn well enough to treat. The team here had been good, of course, but it wasn’t their normal. Everything felt wrong, Fao had gotten lost more than once in the short time they’d been there, and the ICU was unfamiliar. 

When the fuss had subsided, and Finn was left alone (or as alone as he could be), Fao sunk into the chair by his bed, forcing a deep breath. Fred and Sheila had taken five minutes to run to the shop to grab some lunch for the three of them, making Fao promise to keep them updated but not expecting anything. 

Finn’s sedation had been reduced, and he'd slowly started becoming more aware of his surroundings. It took him forever to realise he had something down his throat, forcing air into his lungs, and he hated it. He tossed his head, trying to breathe with it. There was a flare of pain as his arm moved, and he grimaced, trying to get away.

Fao looked up as Finn fussed, reaching to squeeze his hand. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

Fao. That meant he was safe, wherever he was. It was easier to try to squeeze Fao's hand than to open his eyes, and though it was weak, it was there.

“I’m here, just relax, you’re okay.” Fao reassured, squeezing Finn’s fingers. 

He finally managed to work out how to open his eyes, fighting through the drugs pulling him down. As awful as it was, Finn had spent enough time in ICU to know how to breathe with the tube. He took a moment to try to relax, his teeth grinding on the hard plastic.

“That’s it, you’re okay.” Fao said, leaning forwards so his brother could see him. “You can breathe with it, you’re okay.”

Finn made to scrub his eyes, moving the arm not holding Fao's hand. The sudden spike in his heart rate was a clear indication of pain and panic, the drugs clouding his thoughts but not enough to stop the pain.

“Careful, don’t try and move too much.” Fao told him gently. 

The pain had him struggling against the tube, overwhelmed and fighting to catch his breath. He gripped Fao's hand tighter, the flash of fear in his eyes not going unnoticed. 

Fao instinctively reached out, running his hand through his hair. “You’re alright, you’re okay. You can breathe with it, just relax, I’m here. You’re just fine.”

He couldn't manage it, couldn't work out why Fao wasn't helping. He pulled his hand away, reaching for the tube. If nobody was going to help him, he'd sort it himself. 

“Leave it alone Finn, it’s okay.” Fao said softly. “Leave it, that’s it.”

As the monitors continued to alarm, the nursing team arrived to check on him. With Fao's attention on the staff coming in, Finn tried again, his fingers grabbing onto the plastic. He pulled as hard as he could manage, choking and retching as he did so.

The retching from his brother pulled Fao’s attention back to him, heart sinking as he pulled the tube. “Oh, Finn.” He mumbled. He let the staff work as much as he could, but gripped his brother’s hand again, trying to distract him. 

He'd dislodged it enough to be a problem, his monitors and observations screaming their displeasure. He was with it enough to follow their instructions, so they made the decision to pull it completely, in a slightly more controlled manner than Finn had attempted. 

It was nerve wracking, watching them pull the tube. Finn had a horrible habit of fighting it and then just refusing to breathe once it was gone, and it was hard to watch. He kept quiet, letting them do their work, and soon enough it was gone properly. Fao held his own breath as he waited for Finn to breathe again, his heart pounding. 

“Well done Finn, that’s it.”

Finn struggled once they'd pulled it, turning to look at Fao with fear as he gripped his hand tighter. He couldn't manage a breath in, convinced he was going to die.

“You can do it, you’re doing so well.” He encouraged. “You’re okay.”

His breath caught in his throat and he coughed again, the tube having irritated his throat already, and then him making it worse as he'd pulled it. With the cough came another, and then finally, finally, a breath in.  He took a few deep breaths, closing his eyes as he rested his head against the bed in exhaustion. 

“Well done.” Fao praised. “You can rest, it’s okay, you’re safe.”

The nurses adjusted the oxygen, reaching over to put a mask on. Finn cracked an eye open and glared at them, completely unimpressed at the situation. 

Fao couldn’t help but laugh. “Finn, don’t be a dick. You need it, it’s not forever, and it’s better than the tube.”

He turned his face away as they tried again, his eyebrows pulled into a frown. 

"Finn, come on. If you don't, we'll have to go more invasive again. Let me put the mask on, okay? We'll be able to take it off later."

Still glaring at them, he nodded in defeat. He didn't look impressed, but let them put it on, hating that he felt better for it. His voice cracked, barely there, but he tried.

"Thanks."

“Suits you.” Fao teased. 

Finn turned to him, his glare returned. "Fuck off."

“Hey, language.”

"'Urts?"

“What hurts?”

"All."

“Can he have some more pain relief?” Fao asked.

"We'll get you something, Finn. Aside from the pain, how are you feeling?"

He shrugged with his good arm. "Dunno."

“That’s alright.”

"Fuzzy." He managed after a while, glancing at Fao. He pulled his hand from Fao's, clumsily signing drink.

“Drink?” Fao echoed. 

Finn nodded, repeating the sign. His throat hurt, which wasn't surprising, but he didn't have the energy to fix it.

“We’ll see if the nurses can get you something to drink.” Fao murmured. 

"What do you want, Finn? Some juice? Water?"

He forced his eyes open again, giving a heavy sigh in discontent. He turned to look at Fao properly, waiting for him to answer for him. 

Fao stroked through his hair again. “Juice, yeah? Better than water.”

The corner of his lip twitched into a smile, and he gave a small nod. Fao always knew the right answer. 

The nurse gave them both a smile. "I'll go get you some juice, then."

“Thank you.” Fao said, settling back in the chair. “Mum and dad will be back in a minute, Finn.”

He cracked an eye open again, drink? Food?

“They went to go get something to eat, yeah.”

He nodded again, shuffling slightly to get comfortable again. The drugs were still strong, and despite the pain in his arm, he was comfortable and warm. His hand found Fao's and he tapped at him: one, two, three. I love you. 

Fao smiled, instinctively tapping back. “I love you too, Finn.”

Finn gave a sleepy smile, lacing his fingers with Fao's. He knew the pain relief and juice were on their way, but he was tired, exhausted from everything, and five minutes wouldn't hurt. 

“That’s it, get some rest.”

He was asleep almost immediately, quite content. His peace was disturbed by the nurse returning, bringing his juice and pain relief.

"Finn? Finn, sweetie, I've got your medicine." 

Finn startled, a moment of panic before his brain caught up through the haze. He nodded again, offering the nurse a smile. 

"Let me find your arm under there, eh? There we are. Just your pain relief." She hummed, giving it slowly. "There you go, all done. I'll leave your drink with your brother, but just small sips, alright? Just give us a shout if you need anything else."

Fao offered the nurse a smile, thanking her for everything before she left. Then they were alone again, and Fao sighed. “Glad you’re okay.” He admitted softly. 

Finn had already drifted, the drugs making the room spin. At Fao's voice he forced himself to look at him. Even though Fao was far from in focus, Finn gave him a dopey smile, squeezing his hand.

Of course Finn couldn’t really reply, but Fao appreciated the smile. “You’re okay.”

Finn was happy enough to drift, Fao's hand in his hair and the other holding his. He was pain free and warm, so slipped quickly. There was a slight commotion as Sheila and Fred returned, but he was too deep to really give much response. 

Fao turned to acknowledge his parents, offering them a small smile. “He tried to do their job and pull the tube, so it’s out now.”

Sheila paused, her eyes narrowed. "When you say he tried to do their job, you mean he pulled it out?"

“Tried, didn’t do a very good job, just dislodged it. He panicked.”

Fred's heart broke. "Bless him. I know it's awful seeing him when he's in here, but I think George's had it right when they restrained him."

Fao nodded. “Yeah, it’s for his own good. They usually keep more meds on hand, too, but they were good. Got the tube out easily enough.”

"Oh that's good, then." Sheila smiled to herself. "Here, I've got you a drink and a sandwich."

“Oh, thanks.” He murmured, reaching for them. 

"He's been alright though?"

“In pain, but he’s just had some more painkillers.”

"His arm?"

“Yeah, I think so. Wasn’t making loads of sense.”

"Does he ever?" Fred joked. 

“That’s true.” Fao said with a grin. 

"You're not even wrong." Sheila managed a laugh.

“He’s okay, though. Communicated well enough.”

"That's good."

“Yeah. And good he’s got rid of the tube.”

"He still ended up here. He's not had such a bad status in a while."

“Yeah.” Fao murmured. “It’ll get discussed with Steve.”

"I hate that we're so far away."

“Me too. Everything is wrong.”

Finn stretched out with a quiet whine, frowning. His eyes flicked around the room, his expression changing to a grin as he saw his parents. 

"Mum! Dad!" His voice was still rough, barely there, but easily heard in the silence of the ICU.

“Yeah, they came back.” Fao said softly. 

Fred reached to pat Finn’s knee. "Hey, kid. How you feeling?"

Finn sniffed. "Rubbish."

“Gonna feel a bit crap for a bit.” Fao said gently. 

"'m sorry."

“Hey, don’t be sorry.”

"My fault."

“It’s not your fault.”

"It is." He scrubbed his eyes, his breath catching in his throat. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, Finn, baby." Sheila soothed, standing to move closer. "It's not your fault, these things happen."

"I should have stayed home." He managed. "I wanted to go out and I forgot to take my meds because Fao was ready."

"Oh, Finn." She sighed.

Fao made a noise, unable to be annoyed when his little brother just looked so upset. “It happens, Finn. It’s okay.”

"An'-and I threw up last night and didn't say 'cause I thought we'd have to go home."

“Oh, Finn.” Fao murmured. “You should’ve said, you must have felt rotten.”

"I thought you'd be mad at me."

“Never mad at you.”

"Of course we wouldn't be mad at you, Finn." Sheila sighed. "That's being daft, eh?"

“Always tell us things, and then we can help.”

The tears had started to fall and he tried to hide his face. "I'm sorry.c

“Hey, it’s okay.” Fao reassured. “You’re okay.”

#sicktember 2023 #whump writing #whump prompt #faolan blackwood #finn daniels #sheila daniels #fred daniels #seizure #intubated #extubation #sedated #whump of a minor #minor whump #seizure whump #poor finn honestly #missed meds #hospital #away from home #fao having a moment #bless

[faofinn]

DAY 10: difficulty breathing

@febuwhump

When Fao’s phone rang in the middle of the night, he startled awake, fumbling for it in the dark. He’d been out for dinner that night, definitely wasn’t sober, but the adrenaline was already doing a pretty good job of fixing that. They didn’t give him much information over the phone, just that they’d got a GSW and their rough location, in code so they’d be safe if anyone else happened to be listening. They were too far out to get back to the basement, and Fao would need to meet them halfway to treat. 

He woke Ely, gave her a quick update, and pulled on some clothes, the first thing he found on the floor, his shirt and trousers from the evening. He didn’t have time to go looking for anything else, and bolted out of the house. There was kit in his car, and he knew there was kit in the van. He wasn’t sure what he’d need, but between both he’d probably have everything he needed. He sped through the streets to the meet location he’d been given, ditched his car somewhere safe, and scrambled into the van. 

“What am I doing? Talk to me.” He asked breathlessly. 

Harrison had become combative as he deteriorated, struggling between conscious and not. It scared the men, and they'd all taken a step back, too uncomfortable to help.

Fao was a welcome sight, his reputation preceding him. 

"Uh, Harrison got shot. He won't let us near him, so we haven't."

Fao’s heart sank. Of course it was Harrison. “Oh, good. Just him bleed out all over the van, then.” He snapped, quickly throwing his hair up into a bun. “I need proper light, one of you sort that.” His voice was cold, commanding, rolling his sleeves up and quickly looking Harrison over. It wasn’t hard to see where the blood was coming from, and he shifted his weight to brace himself as he grabbed gauze and put as much pressure on it as he dared. “You. Come here, take over the pressure.”

“I, uh, I…” 

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it. Cover my hands with yours and hold the pressure until I say otherwise. Unless you want to start an IV? No? Didn’t think so.” He snapped, as the other man took over. He wiped his bloody hands off on his shirt, and shifted over slightly to Harrison’s arm, eyes looking critically for a vein as he rifled through the kit. 

The pain somehow got worse. Harrison wasn't sure how, but it did. He cried out through gritted teeth, trying to arch away. It took a moment to coordinate, but he started swinging, trying to get away. 

Fao ducked out of the way, catching Harrison’s fist and gently forcing his arm back down. “Harrison? It’s okay, you’re okay. It’s Fao, I’ve got you. Try and relax, you’re safe now. I’m helping, alright? Let me help.”

"He's going to hit me!"

“He’s half unconscious, try harder to dodge him.” Fao shot back. “I’m working as fast as I can.” He gritted his teeth as he tried desperately to get a vein, struggling with poor light and Harrison’s struggling. He got one eventually, shouting triumphantly. It wasn’t enough, and he wanted more access, but he could at least get some pain relief in, hopefully settle him. 

Harrison twisted as Fao shouted, whining as he tried to get away. His chest heaved as he struggled to get his breath, the feeling he was drowning all too much. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Fao soothed. “You’re okay, I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay, Hars. Just focus on doing that breathing, let me to do the rest. Giving you something for the pain, now, gonna make it easier.” He told him, quickly checking the drug before he gave it. 

His shouts died down into cries, quiet whimpering softly to himself. The pain had started to ease slightly, making it easier to focus. It made breathing more difficult, though, and he couldn't stop the panic coursing through him. 

“You’re okay, that’s it. Well done, keep breathing for me.”

He turned his head, looking towards Fao's voice. "Help."

“I’m helping, I promise.”

"It hurts." He managed, finally managing to focus on him. 

“I know, I know. I’ve given you some painkillers, they’ll work soon.” 

"'m dying."

“No you’re not. Just focus on your breathing for me, let me sort the rest.”

"I am." 

“That’s it, good.” Fao reassured. There was so much blood, and he was really struggling to properly control it. The van went over a bump and jolted, and Fao tried to brace himself on his knees. “Fucking hell.”

Harrison whined, trying to pull away from the pain. It was everywhere, though, and there was nothing he could do.

“Well done, that’s it.” He soothed. “I’ve got you.” He stretched for his kit, rifling through to try and find what he needed. He needed a trained someone, anyone who he could trust. Not Harrison’s little team. 

Frustrated and tired, he started fighting against the other man. He got a solid elbow in their ribs, the relief of pressure against his side just bliss. 

“I know, I know.” Fao murmured, moving to try and pack the wound. 

He twisted again, curling away from Fao. His scream died on his tongue, his hands pushing against Fao's. 

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts.” Fao muttered. He was happy enough with the packing, and moved to try and get a listen to Harrison’s chest. It was loud on the van, and he struggled to keep his balance as he listened, swearing to himself. 

Harrison could feel himself slipping, the ceiling of the van swimming in and out of focus. Even the pain couldn't keep him conscious, his head lolling.

Fao’s stomach twisted as Hars lost consciousness, but he was relieved in a way. At least he wasn’t in pain. He didn’t like what he was hearing at all from his chest, and dug in his kit to find what he needed for a chest drain. It certainly wouldn’t be perfect, but it would do. He didn’t even bother talking to the other men as he grabbed a scalpel, found his landmark, and made the cut. 

He definitely felt that, and he cried out again, but he wasn't with it any more. The men beside Fao retched, especially as blood quickly poured from the drain.

Fao rolled his eyes as the men retched. What he wouldn’t give for Steve or Finn or someone. Trying to manage this completely on his own wasn’t working. He took a set of obs as best he could, blood soaking his trousers and making them cling to him. The numbers he got back were more than a bit concerning, despite his interventions, and they weren’t getting any better. Fuck. 

Harrison coughed and choked, spots of blood on his lips. His resps were through the roof, his heart rate doing its best to compensate for his blood pressure circling, for his blood volume pooling on the floor. He managed to catch Fao's eye, and he met his gaze with panic and fear in his eyes. 

Fao locked eyes with Harrison. “I’ve got you, Tomcat. You’re gonna be okay.” He told him firmly. Things were just consistently getting worse, though, and Fao felt considerably out of control. He gave as much TXA as he felt he could, but it wasn’t close to enough to help the bleeding. 

“How far out are we?” He snapped, asking whoever cared to listen. 

"We've still got at least fifteen minutes."

“Fuck’s sake.” 

Hars could feel himself slipping again, missing parts of the conversation. He grabbed for Fao's top, his hand leaving more bloodied streaks across it. 

"I want Steve."

“We’re gonna be with him really soon, Hars.” Fao murmured. “He’s gonna be waiting for us at home.”

He shook his head. "I'm not gonna make it."

“As if I’m giving up on you. I’m gonna make sure you’re okay, alright? Hold on for me.”

He knew Fao was trying his best, and he’d continue to do nothing but. He trusted Fao with his life, and they unfortunately kept ending up in situations where it was tested. It didn’t take a genius to know he wasn’t okay, and the small bit or working brain he had left had worked out it probably wasn't going to end well. 

He forced his eyes open again, though he didn't remember closing them. "It's okay."

Fao’s repeat set of obs were no better. In fact, they were worse. He swallowed thickly, digging around in his pocket for his phone. He needed to talk to Steve, needed someone medical he could talk to, to reassure him he wasn’t completely out of his mind. 

He chucked it on the floor of the van on speaker as it rang, and he prayed he’d answer. 

"Fao, talk to me. I heard the call for medical."

“It’s Hars, and it’s bad. We’re still miles out, in the back of a shitty van, and all I have is my kit.”

Hars stirred again. "Steve?"

"Hey, Hars. You causing problems for Fao, eh?" He tried to sound light for him, but even he could hear the waver in his tone. He cleared his throat. "What's happened with him? Head to toe, obs, and what kit do you have?"

“GSW, it’s gone just under his vest, entry is the abdo but exit is further up into the chest. Haemothorax on the right. I’ve got a drain in but it’s putting out so much fucking blood. Pulse 138, BP 76/50, SpO2 94 on high flow, Resps sitting at 36, he's still not getting chest rise on the right. He's with it enough, but he's starting to pass out and stay out. I've given the TXA but it's just not stopping. The floor is covered, I'm covered. It’s my kit, it’s decent. Airway kit, ket, paralytics, TXA. I’m just out of my fucking depth here, nobody else knows a fucking thing and I feel like I’m going insane.”

Steve took a moment. Well, fuck. "Right. Take a breath. Reassess, keep going ABCs. You need to get on top of that bleeding. He's not going to be able to compensate forever. Have you got anything to give? Will they follow instructions?"

“I know he won’t compensate forever.” Fao snapped. “I’ve got saline but no blood. They’re fucking useless, hadn’t touched him at all when I showed up. Not even put pressure on.”

"Fucking hell. Okay. Fluid bolus, see if that helps his pressure at all. He's not going to hold his airway by himself if he goes, so just be careful."

Fao quickly set up the fluids, wiping his hands on his trousers as he struggled with the connectors. Fluids running, he forced himself to breathe. “Alright. Fluids in. I want to sort his airway before it becomes a problem.”

"If you're thinking RSI, you need to trust they can help." 

"Steve." Harrison interrupted again, apparently unaware of the conversation. 

“I don’t think I’m going to have a choice, Steve. I’m watching him deteriorate in front of me, and we’re still miles out.”

"You can see him, not me. Do what you think is best."

Unimpressed by Steve's lack of response, he shoved at Fao with a frustrated grunt. "Steve."

Fao huffed. “Thank you, Hars.” He muttered under his breath. “He’s very insistent that he wants you, Steve.”

"Hars, we're just trying to help you."

"No." He shook his head, though Steve couldn't see, and Fao wasn't sure he didn't realise that. 

“We are, I’m doing my best right now Hars. Focus on breathing like I said.” 

He sniffed, setting himself off coughing again. The pain exploded again, despite the morphine, and, once more, slipped under. 

God, it was just getting worse. He hated watching Harrison slip into unconsciousness again, powerless to stop it. 

"Fao, talk to me." Steve's tone was tense, and Fao could hear him pacing. 

“Unconscious again, I’m repeating obs.” Fao replied, his own tone similarly tense. 

"Come on, Hars. Don't do this." Steve murmured, wishing he was there with them. 

The blood pressure cycled, protesting at the numbers. It continued tightening, way into the two hundreds, and Harrison gave a whine. He tried to pull away from it, panicked. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Just give it a minute, I know it’s uncomfy.” Fao murmured, but it wasn’t a good sign. He knew full well it wasn’t high enough to need that kind of pressure - it was just struggling for a read full stop. 

Harrison, of course, didn't listen. He twisted away, an unintelligible shout in both pain and frustration. 

"Hars, listen to Fao. He's looking after you."

“It’s alright, it’s okay.” Fao tried vainly to soothe. But sure enough the blood pressure gave up, failing to get a read, and Fao’s stomach dropped. “Fluids haven’t done shit. It won’t even read, just cycles until it gives up.”

"You're going to have to give more, you can't RSI that low. Has he got a radial?"

It took Fao a moment. “No. Nothing.” 

"Give him fluids."

“I might as well just pour them on the fucking floor.” Fao muttered, but swapped the bag over to give more. 

"Just try."

“Yeah, they’re running.”

Harrison screwed his face up, managing to squint at Fao. He was sure he'd heard Steve too, but the huddle of men behind Fao were too small to be him. 

“That’s it Hars, you’re alright.” Fao said softly, half as reassurance for himself. 

"Where's Steve?" He slurred, more of a mumble than anything. 

“On the phone with me.” Fao replied. 

"Right here, Hars."

“Both of us are looking after you.”

"Sorry."

“Don’t apologise.” Fao said firmly. 

Harrison lapsed back into silence, somewhere between conscious and not. As the blood pressure started again, he whined once more, but didn't pull away. 

Harrison’s blood was drying on his hands, as Fao waited for the machine to read, praying it would give him something. Just a number would be better than the endless cycling. 

Harrison's breath caught in his throat again, and his frown deepened. He knew Fao was looking after him, and Steve was there too, somewhere. He could see Fao leaning over him, doing things in slow motion. Which left Steve..

"Dad?"

Fao’s stomach twisted, and the noise Steve made over the crackled phone line was less than dignified. 

“I’m right here, Hars. I’m right here, I’ve got you.” He replied, his voice wavering. “You’re going to be okay.”

He seemed to have a sudden rush of energy, though his observations were still terrible, and his prognosis even worse. 

"Thank you." He muttered softly.

Fao sucked in another deep breath, forcing himself to re-focus. He had to keep doing this. “Blood pressure is a little less shit. I’ve at least got a number.”

"That's good." Steve managed. 

Harrison reached for Fao’s hand, for a moment of comfort in his desperation. 

Fao squeezed his fingers. “I’ve got you.” He murmured. He laid out his airway kit with the other hand, leaving smears of blood all over it, though he didn’t notice. He needed the blood pressure up a bit more before he could fully RSI, but it never hurt to prepare. 

The squeeze managed to help, a tiny hint of a smile gracing Harrison's blood-splattered lips. He tried his best, his fingers twitching in Fao's before his eyes rolled. It didn’t take long for things to go south, as Hars took a breath and then stopped. 

“Fuck.” Fao muttered, snatching up his kit. He couldn’t put this off any longer now, he needed control of his airway. Unsure just how conscious he was, having watched him flick in and out, Fao chatted away to him as he sorted it, half to keep himself from losing it. “Alright Hars. That’s you finding your limit, hmm? It’s okay, I’ll take over from here. Got some meds to get you off to sleep now, so you can have a nap whilst I do the hard work.” He quickly pushed the ket, watching him carefully. There were men clustered around Harrison’s head, and Fao snapped at them to move, which they did. Happy with his sedation, he pushed his roc, bagged until he was happy with it, and snatched up his tube and laryngoscope. He was rusty with his intubations, of course, so what better time to practice than in a dark, moving van covered in blood? But Harrison, for all he made Fao’s life difficult, apparently wasn’t a difficult airway, and Fao got it first time. He shouted triumphantly, checked his placement, and then secured it. 

“Tube’s in, airway’s secure.”

Steve let out a shaky breath. "Good. Well done."

Fao couldn’t breathe for Harrison forever, not if he was going to continue to manage the bleeding. “Which one of you lot is the most competent here? Who’s not a complete idiot?” He asked. 

They were all quiet, slightly afraid of Harrison and definitely afraid of Fao. After a moment, one of them stepped forward.

"I can help. What do you need?"

Fao looked up. “Are you capable of breathing?” 

"For him?"

Fao huffed. “Essentially, yes. Every time you take a breath, I want you to squeeze this to breathe for him, too. Can you do that?” He asked, demonstrating. “I can’t sit here and do it, I’ve got other stuff to do.”

Panic flashed across his face. "Okay. Yeah." He swallowed, taking a moment. It was Harrison. He'd got him out of shit so many times before, it was only fair to return the favour. "I can do that."

“Just whenever you breathe, breathe for him too. Just got to think about breathing. Okay?”

"Okay." He moved to take Fao's place. "I can do that."

“Shout if you get stuck.” Fao murmured, and moved away, to carefully take yet another set of obs, praying they were better than before. 

Steve hated being so far away, so unable to do anything. "Fao, talk to me."

“I’m taking obs.” Fao shot back. “I’ll tell you stuff when I know it.”

"You just went silent. I need to know what's happening."

“I’m trying to concentrate!”

"Fine, hurry up."

“Going as fast as I can.” He muttered. For once, Harrison’s obs had trended slightly upwards, and Fao was glad of it. “A bit better. SpO2 has come up, as has his BP.”

"Good. The tube will be helping with his sats."

“Yeah, that’s why I did it.” Fao said flatly. 

"I just mean that he's not going to be resping at fifty or some shite."

“Yeah.”

"How's the bleeding doing?"

“Still fucking bleeding.”

"I've put a call out for more blood, you just need to get back."

“I’ll need the whole trauma setup.” Fao muttered, doing his best to manage the bleeding. “Can you go up and wake Ely? I’m going to need her.”

"Everyone's up. They're just sorting the basement out."

“Good.” Fao was relieved he had a team waiting for him. 

"If the second lot of fluids helped, you can give him another 500 bolus."

“It’s helped, but I don’t know for how much longer. I’ve got no pressors, and limited fluids.”

"You just need to get him back. If he's still got pressure, give it."

“Giving it now.” He muttered, trying to push his hair out of his face. 

"Give me a run down of his obs once you've done that."

He finally got it connected and running, discarding the spent bag. His ‘assistant’ was doing well ventilating, surprisingly, and so he quickly started on obs. He hated having to do this in such an old fashioned manner, he missed his hospital conveniences and continuous monitoring. 

But as he started, he just knew it was wrong, and when he didn’t find a pulse, his stomach twisted. “Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

#febuwhump2023 #febuwhumpday10 #difficulty breathing #whump writing #whump prompt #crime au #Harrison Cunningham #Faolan Blackwood #Elyana Lozier #gunshot wound #field medicine #medicine in the back of a van #intubation #cardiac arrest #blood loss #the wolf and the ghost #respiratory arrest #trauma situation #poor hars #it gets worse too lol

[faofinn]

8. Persistent Fever

Part 1 | Part 2

With the drain in, Finn’s obs came up to a more acceptable level, the sedation they’d given him helping to keep him settled whilst they did it. With that sorted, they’d let Fao clean and even close the cuts to his head, talking softly to his brother as he did it all. He knew they’d bent the rules for him to let him do that, but he appreciated it. It certainly helped Finn out, and the nurse commented that he’d not been that settled or content. 

They’d got him a place on ICU, and soon enough he was taken up there. Fao followed wearily, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Finn was still very sick, that much was obvious. He knew ICU was the best place for him, but it was still worrying. Nobody wanted their brother in intensive care. Fao was worried about his seizures, too, but they said Steve would see him whilst he was admitted to try and control them. 

His fever was the most worrying, seeming to not get any better even with all of their treatments. It would take time, but for the moment, it was less than ideal. 

Steve appeared after a while, Finn’s case perplexing him. The discussion he'd had with the ED hadn't shed any more light on it, but the scans hadn't shown anything he was too concerned with. Of course there was the matter of his infection, the antibiotics he'd already been on apparently having done nothing. The chest drain was a necessary evil, but Steve couldn't help the worry about it and his seizures. Finn wouldn't be conscious, of course, but it wouldn't be pleasant for him to pull it out. 

Fao had settled at Finn’s bedside, exhausted from a long night and not a lot of sleep. He’d ended up resting his head on the bedrails, just to close his eyes for five minutes. At least he’d still be close to Finn, able to settle him if needed, or speak to the staff if they needed anything. 

Steve sighed as he saw the brothers, reminded of their first meeting so many years ago. He cleared his throat gently. "Knock knock."

Fao lifted his head, hair falling in his eyes. “Oh, Steve. Sorry, wasn’t asleep, I swear.”

"You don't need to apologise." He said with a smile. "You deserve the rest. How are you getting on?"

“Ah, y’know. Glad he’s got a bed now.”

"Yeah, of course."

“He’s settled now, at least.”

"He's had some sedation, hasn't he?'

Fao nodded. “And he’s finally stopped fighting it.”

"Bless him. I'd got a bed organised for him for the morning, your mum had said he was starting to struggle with absences and the paracetamol wasn't helping with his fever."

���When she called me tonight I assumed it was the big seizure we’ve all seen coming, but of course he had to be different.”

"Of course, it is finn, after all."

“Never a dull moment.” Fao said drily. 

"That's very true."

“I suppose he couldn’t let me have all the fun.”

"You and Harrison caused enough stress, I don’t need him joining in, and I bet She and Fred don't either." Steve managed to joke. 

“How is Harrison?” He asked. “Haven’t spoken to him in a little while.”

Steve's smile grew forced. "He's getting there. He's struggling a little with everything, but you know what that’s like."

“All too well. I’ll text him.” Fao said. “I’m guessing you’ve come to see Finn, I’ll stop distracting you.”

"Came to see both of you." He said softly. "There's not much neuro-wise I can do at the moment."

“Both of us? I hope I don’t need a neurosurgeon.” Fao joked weakly. 

"I'm not on the market for more patients." Steve joked back. 

“Good.” He murmured. “I’m good with my head intact, thanks.”

"Though I'm sure Sheila would be surprised to find you did have a brain." He teased, moving to Finn’s side. "Finn? Just Steve, you're okay."

Finn gave a groan, taking a moment to manage to open his eyes. He finally focused on Steve, gave a grunt in acknowledgement, and then rested his head back down. 

Fao reached across to squeeze Finn’s hand. “Steve’s checking up on you, eh?”

"It's a stupid question, I know, but how are you feeling?"

Finn made a noise, his voice muffled by the mask. "Tired."

Fao huffed a laugh. “You and me both, kid.”

"I don't blame either of you."Steve said. "Aside from tired? Any pain?"

"No." Finn shook his head. "Fuzzy."

"Like before seizure fuzzy, or after fuzzy?"

That was too much effort. "Both."

Fao couldn’t help but smile. “Always helpful, Finn.”

"How many have you had now?" Steve murmured, looking through the notes. "Right, I'll ask them to keep an eye on it, I'll change the lorazepam to immediately if he does. What's the valproate doing? Hmm, I'll add that too, his other levels are good, that's fine."

Steve trailed off, making a few notes before returning his attention back to the brothers. "Right, a bit of a plan for you two. They're gonna keep the sedation going anyway, make that a bit more comfortable for you, Finn. I'll increase your normal meds, the new one we're trying, and that should help keep them away. If you do have a seizure, we've got that management plan in place and ready. I've written you up for more pain relief too, so just ask. You don't have to wait until if you have a seizure." 

It was too much for Finn to pay attention, but he nodded all the same. "'Kay."

“Thank you, Steve.” Fao said, taking it all in. 

"Is there anything else you need from me? Or want me to do?" He asked gently. 

“No, no.” Fao murmured. “Other than tell the staff I’m a doctor that works here, none of them recognise me.” He couldn’t help the little laugh. “And obviously just keep looking after Finn.”

"I saw you'd managed to sort his lacs out, you did a good job." Steve said. "I'll make sure to let them know."

“They were great in ED.”

"I'm glad." He gave him a genuine smile. "I'll pop back later, see how the two of you are getting on."

“Thanks, means a lot.”

He hesitated before he left. "Hars wouldn't mind a text, and you're always welcome at ours."

“I’ll text him. Gotta keep myself entertained whilst sleeping beauty gets his rest.”

"Of course." He laughed. "Take care."

“And you.” Fao murmured, turning his attention back to Finn. 

Finn gave a grunt in acknowledgement that Steve had left, already mainly asleep. He struggled to get comfortable, tossing his head in frustration. 

“Here, let me help.” Fao said, standing up to fuss with Finn’s pillows. 

He caught Fao's eye as he helped, frustrated and tired and feeling rubbish. Fao fixed the problem though, and that earned a sigh in content, one thing less to complain about. 

With the pillows fixed, Fao moved to stroke through Finn’s hair, leaning over the bed to press a kiss to his forehead. He was still absolutely burning up, despite everything they’d done, and his hair was damp with sweat. He wasn’t quite as aggressive and delirious as he had been, but he certainly wasn’t well, and it seemed like everything they were doing wasn’t doing enough. 

Biting his lip, he sat back down, worry churning in his stomach. He kept his hand in Finn’s once he was settled, lifting it to press a kiss to his knuckles. 

“Love you, Finn. Don’t do anything stupid, please. Let’s get rid of this fever, it’s not doing you any good at all.”

#sicktember 2023 #sicktember day 8 #persistent fever #whump writing #whump prompt #oc #fic #finn daniels #faolan blackwood #brothers in more than arms #steve cunningham #seizures #ICU #intensive care #worried carer #mention of medication #finn's having a bad day #so is fao lbr #pneumonia

[faofinn]

No. 30 "It's okay just to say 'I'm not okay'."

Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | "Not much longer.”

"I could have said you look awful." 

She slapped him good naturedly. "Finn!"

"I said I could have!" He protested, but quickly softened. "You do look exhausted though. Did you get any rest?"

"Maybe? I must have, I came down here earlier, you woke me up." 

"You didn't look comfortable in the slightest." He admitted. "I was worried about you. I am worried about you."

 "I'll always want you to wake me when you get in." She took a breath, rubbing her face. "I might head back to bed though. I do feel a bit rubbish."

"You look it. That's all I meant. I'm just worried about you."

She forced a smile. "I'm fine."

"Mm. Well, I'm tired. You coming to bed with me?"

"That's how we got in this mess." She teased. 

Finn offered her his hands, smirking with a hint of pride. "I know."

She laughed, taking his hands and pulling herself up. The dizziness that was always there got so much worse, and the ringing in her ears was deafening. Against her will, her legs gave out, her vision blurred and darkening. 

"Whoa, hey. Careful, I've got you, I've got you." Finn helped her back down, his arm around her back. "What's wrong?"

She could see Finn talking to her, but she couldn't make out his words. She squeezed her eyes shut, moving to lie down in hopes it would help. Finn carefully swung her legs up, brushing her hair from her face. 

"You're okay, it’s okay. You're okay." As worried as he was, she didn't need the stress of him showing it. With his other hand, he called Fao, just in case.

Fao had just crawled into bed, exhausted after a long night working with Fred and the others, when his phone rang. Groaning, he reached for it, only to see Finn’s name on the screen. He was literally downstairs, why was he calling?

“Finn?”

“Can you meet me in the basement? Jess has done a you.”

“I don’t appreciate that expression.” Fao grumbled, but swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I’ll be five minutes.”

“Thanks, Fao.” He hung up, moving to carry Jess. “We won’t be downstairs long.”

“I’m fine, really.” She protested, though her words fell on deaf ears as she leaned into him.

“Mhmm. You’re only proving my point.” He teased.

She grinned. “I know.”

She laughed, taking his hands and pulling herself up. The dizziness that was always there got so much worse, and the ringing in her ears was deafening. Against her will, her legs gave out, her vision blurred and darkening. 

"Whoa, hey. Careful, I've got you, I've got you." Finn helped her back down, his arm around her back. "What's wrong?"

She could see Finn talking to her, but she couldn't make out his words. She squeezed her eyes shut, moving to lie down in hopes it would help. Finn carefully swung her legs up, brushing her hair from her face. 

"You're okay, it’s okay. You're okay." As worried as he was, she didn't need the stress of him showing it. With his other hand, he called Fao, just in case.

Fao had just crawled into bed, exhausted after a long night working with Fred and the others, when his phone rang. Groaning, he reached for it, only to see Finn’s name on the screen. He was literally downstairs, why was he calling?

“Finn?”

“Can you meet me in the basement? Jess has done a you.”

“I don’t appreciate that expression.” Fao grumbled, but swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I’ll be five minutes.”

“Thanks, Fao.” He hung up, moving to carry Jess. “We won’t be downstairs long.”

“I’m fine, really.” She protested, though her words fell on deaf ears as she leaned into him.

“Mhmm. You’re only proving my point.” He teased.

She grinned. “I know.”

Fao met the pair of them downstairs, already grabbing a couple of bits he thought he might need, the bedspace ready for Jess. He met Finn at the door, leading him through to set Jess down on the bed. 

“Right, what’ve you two been up to? I’d just got into bed.”

“Can you sort some fluids, antiemetics, and some sleeping meds?” Finn asked.

“Got the fluids and antiemetics out when you said she’d ‘done a me’. I’ll go grab the sleeping meds.” He said softly. “Anything else going on that I should know about?”

Jess rubbed her eyes. “Finn’s just fussing.”

“Yeah, he does that, but it’s usually justified.” Fao said, slipping out for a second to get the rest of the meds. “Can you do some obs, Finn?” 

“Yeah, course.” He pottered around Jess, ignoring her protests and placating her with a soft kiss to her temple. “The quieter you are, the less you fuss, the sooner we can go to bed.”

“I don’t need all this fuss anyways.” 

“You know you do, you’re just being stubborn.”

“Just because you're right for once, it doesn’t mean you get to have such a shit eating grin!” She shot back.

“Somehow, even though I think I won that, it was my feelings that got hurt.” He teased.

Fao came back with the meds after a few moments, shaking his head at the pair of them. “Finn, you argue with a criminal defence lawyer and you’re still surprised she beats you?” He shot back, looking over the numbers on the screen. Shit blood pressure, but nothing that was screaming at him. “Mm, no wonder you feel like shit. Can I get a cannula in for you, get you some fluids?”

"Do I have a choice?" She laughed, holding her arm out. "Go for it."

Fao laughed. “You always have a choice, you might just get bollocked for making the wrong choice.” He joked, slipping the tourniquet round her bicep and finding a vein he liked the look of. “Sharp scratch.” He warned, and neatly got the cannula in. He got it taped and secured, happy it flushed, and then could start running the fluids. 

She hummed. “Thanks, Fao. Sorry for getting you out of bed. Yous must have been busy, Finn looked exhausted.”

“I still don’t look as bad as you.” Finn shot back.

“It’s okay, I probably wouldn’t have slept anyways.” He said. “And you’re nice to me, Finn’s usually a dick when I have to treat him.”

"Get some meds and join me?"

"You're both being dicks! And now you're asking Fao to join you in bed." Finn teased with a laugh, though pretended to be mad. "Maybe I should just go find Ely."

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Fao shot back. “I’ve got tablets for the antisickness and the sleeping stuff. Think you can take them?” Fao asked. 

"Yeah, sure."

“As much as I’m sure you want your bed, it’s probably best if you stay down here with those fluids running.” He said, offering her the antisickness with a cup of water. 

"Thank you."

“Want to take the sleeping tablet now too? And get some rest down here?” 

"Maybe I should. "

“I can offer you plenty of blankets, and I think Finn left a hoodie down here?”

"Here, have this one." Finn pulled it over his head, holding it out for her. "It's warm, too."

Jess grinned, taking it happily. "Thank you, Finn."

“That’s settled, then. Sleeping tablet is here, and I’ll go grab those blankets for you.” Fao said, standing up. 

Finn helped her pull the tubes through the hoodie, and then hopped up on the bed next to her. "I'm sorry you're struggling so much with our Bean."

She nestled in. "I'd say it's not your fault, but…"

"You're half at fault too, and anyway, you enjoyed it."

"Finn!" She laughed, shaking her head. "You need to stop using that as an excuse every time!

Fao had just reappeared with plenty of blankets, and shook his head in disbelief. “You two are the worst. Here are your blankets, I’m gonna go and pass out on the sofa. Shout if you need me.” He draped the blankets over the pair of them. 

"Mm. Thanks, Fao." Finn grinned. "Why not use the bed? Better than the sofa."

“Yeah, let’s see how far I get.”

"You need to look after yourself too." Jess murmured, surprisingly starting to feel the pull of the meds. 

“Get some rest, you two. I’ll be around if you need me.” Fao said, and slipped off to get some rest himself. 

“Y’know, Jess, it's okay just to say 'I'm not okay'." Finn said softly, moreserious than he had been. “You need to put yourself first for a change.”

“‘m sleeping, Finn. Don’t be mean.” She tried to joke, though there were tears in her eyes as she looked away from Finn.

He wrapped his arms tighter around her. “No, I know, I know. It’s hard, I know. You’re doing brilliantly, if only you’d see what we do. You’d see why we love you so much.”

#whumptober2023 #no. 30 “it's okay just to say i'm not okay” #whump writing #whump prompt #faolan blackwood #oc #whump #finn daniels #fic #the wolf and the ghost #crime au #jess weston #exhaustion #mentally exhausted #whumpee #medical whump #emotional whump #collapse #tiredness #borrowed clothing #stolen hoodie #boyfriend's hoodie #jess is the best and the boys all love her #she's a mini sheila #but worse #criminal defense lawyer

[faofinn]

No. 28 "We might not make it to the morning, so go on and tell me now."

Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | "You'll have to go through me."  

The meeting with the principal and safeguarding went as well as Sheila had expected. The teacher who had caused so much of Finn’s low moods and outbursts had continued his war on the kid, and it just wasn't fair.  

While the adults saw the meeting as the necessary evil it was, Finn couldn't see past the hurt it was causing him. They cut it short in the end, to try and prevent a full meltdown, though they were already halfway into one. 

Finn screamed and shouted the whole way home, kicking off at anything and everything. As soon as he was helped out of his seat, he was off again, shouting that he hated them and never wanted to see them again as he slammed the doors up to his room.

Fao flinched, looking up from his book. He’d thought things had settled, but it seemed like they’d gotten worse. He swallowed thickly, the nausea and fear rising just from Finn’s outburst. He pushed it down, suddenly fiercely protective over Finn. 

He set down his stuff and headed out into the hallway, in search of someone coming after Finn. He wouldn’t let them touch him, he couldn’t.

Nobody came, the pair too used to his outbursts and aware he'd need space to decompress. That left Finn alone, curled in a tight ball under his duvet as he sobbed. His skin tingled, his wolf threatening to break through the suppression. 

After a moment of indecision, Fao knocked gently on Finn’s door. “Finn?”

"Go away, go away, go away!"

“I jus’ wanted to see if you were okay. It’s only me, only Fao.”

"I don't want to do it any more."

“You wanna just sit?”

"I don't want them."

“It’s only me, nobody else is around.”

He paused. "Jus' you?"

“Yeah.”

"Okay."

Fao cautiously pushed the door open. “Are you okay?”

He sniffed. "No."

“What happened?”

"They wouldn't stop."

“Who wouldn’t?”

"Everybody!" He cried, burying himself again.

“Hey, it’s okay.”

"You're doing the same!"

“Okay, we won’t talk about it.” Fao said softly.

Finn hesitated. "Promise?"

“Promise. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t wanna. Wanna talk about something else?”

He nodded, slowly emerging to look at Fao.

“Can I sit on your bed with you?” 

"Yeah." His voice was small as he peeked at Fao, watching him carefully. 

Fao sat down on the end of his bed, crossing his legs. “Thanks. You cosy under the duvet?”

"It's safe under here."

“Yeah? Sounds good to me.” Fao said softly. 

Finn didn’t move, watching Fao with wide eyes. The older boy hadn't done anything to hurt him or force him to talk, which Finn appreciated. He seemed to be okay.

"Fao?"

“Yeah?”

"I've got a lion under here." He said with a grin, moving to show him. 

“Oh my god.” Fao exclaimed with a laugh. 

Finn grinned. "He's mine."

“What’s his name?”

"Lion." He said, his confidence returning. 

“That’s a pretty good name. I have Eeyore in my room.”

"You do?"

“Yeah. He was with me in hospital and everything.”

"I haven't seen him. My lion has been mine since dad was my Dad."

“Since you were born?”

He shook his head, his eyes suddenly widening as he cowered back. His grip on lion grew tighter, his small hands turning white. 

"Finn? You still up here?"

Fao frowned. “He’s fine!”

"You in Finn’s room, kid?" He asked, knocking on the door. 

“He’s fine, leave him alone!”

Fred frowned, taken aback by Fao's responses. He pushed the door open slightly, hanging round the side. "What's going on?"

“He was upset, I came to sit with him. He’s terrified, leave him alone.” Fao’s voice was stronger than he felt, but he was suddenly consumed by the desire to protect the younger boy. 

"Terrified? What's going on?"

“You know what’s going on. You were with him.”

"Still on that? You know it's over, kid. You can't keep going on at it, it's not going to help anyone. You've said what you wanted, why don't we leave it?"

Fao narrowed his eyes. “Look at him, he’s scared shitless. Leave him alone.” 

"He's had his time, Fao. He's gotta come out and do some other stuff."

Fao stood up. “Hey, no. Don’t tell him what to do. You’re the reason he’s scared.”

Fred raised his hands between them. "I think you've got something mixed up here. Why don't we take a breath and head downstairs, clear our heads?"

“I won’t let you touch him. He’s so scared.” Fao snapped. 

"I'm not gonna touch him."

“Yeah, sure. I heard him come in. And I know what he’s said to me.”

Fred frowned, confused. "Maybe we should have this conversation away from Finn."

“I thought you were better than the shit I had to deal with, Fred.”

"I think you've got the wrong end of the stick, kid."

Fao’s hands clenched into fists. “Sure.”

"Why don't we take five minutes and then have a chat like adults downstairs?"

Fao hesitated, the fear flaring. “Fine.”

"Right. Good. Why don't you go to your room so I can see Finn?"

“I’m not leaving him alone with you.”

"He's fine."

Fao turned to Finn. “Finn, do you want to be alone with him?”

He didn’t answer, looking between the two with wide, scared eyes.

“I won’t let him if you don’t want him to.”

Finn whined, everything just too much. He pulled the blanket over his head as he shifted, hands changing into paws.

“Oh.” Fao breathed. “Shit.”

"Oh, Finn." Fred shook his head. So much for avoiding that.  

Fao backed away from Fred, suddenly very afraid of him. 

"You gonna let me get him?"

“And do what to him?”

"Take him downstairs."

“You’re not going to hurt him?”

"Of course not." He said softly. "We'd never do that. He's got all his wolf stuff downstairs."

“Oh.”

#whumptober2023 #no 28 #self sacrifice #you'll have to go through me #fao blackwood #he has a big heart but he's confused #finn daniels #fred daniels #sheila daniels #wolf au #whump writing #oc #whump prompt #faolan blackwood #fic #whump #finn is an ass and fred is just trying his best #sedation #sedatives #finn has a breakdown #this is practiced at this point #the poor kid has that many